#and scary and shitty etc

[gaudebo]

there is so much love in my heart and also im so sad

[gumy-shark]

these two guys are the exact same character to me. will GLADLY elaborate on this at the slightest sign of interest btw

[rosesradio]

🚬

[t3tr0m1n0]

truly i am starved enough for systems in fiction that i don't even hate perfectly shitty fan representations of plurality because those are at least easy for me to look at & go well i can fix that.

[kalashtars]

if I think abt the state of trans politics in the US for more than .2 seconds I start wanting to sob god I hate it here

[catboyfurina]

One of the really irritating things about that 'oh QPR is just friendship, clearly you've never had friends, lmao loser' discourse is that (and there are many irritating things this is just one of them) even in QPRs that ARE just friendships with a new fancy label.... like...? There are many kinds of friendship that people just have because it's easier than not. And there are friendships that you think are going to be incredibly lasting, but then they date someone new and suddenly you're no longer a priority. The QPR label lets people attach an intentionality and priority to their friendship that really is not guaranteed..... like also not every QPR is this way etc etc but even when it is Just Friendship T M its still like entirely reasonable to want to use that label to signify that it isn't casual

[nietopyrz]

on christmas eve all of my cousins and their partners agreed that i have a resting bitch face which was slightly offensive to me but also amusing and now i'm taking selfies bc i want to test my make up and they were actually right. i do have murderous intent in my eyes.

[etherealkissed88]

how i manifest when i feel anxious •°. *࿐

i decide i have what i want…

when i feel anxiety -> i let it pass while knowing its only a human reaction

◦ since i am beyond just a human (i am limitless imagination/self), i know any anxiety is below me and it has nothing to do with my limitless self. i have exactly what i decided i have, regardless of any anxiety.

know anxiety usually comes from a fear of failure

◦ so, i cannot limit myself based on what i see or what i negatively assume my future will look like bc i am always beyond the 3d, no matter what feelings/anxiety my human self experiences.

◦ i become indifferent/i dont care about what i see or what i assume i will see because i know everything comes together in the 3d once i change self/know its done. fact: everything always comes together and works out in the end. being indifferent to the 3d = being indifferent to emotions, anxiety and everything that doesnt serve you.

dont fight it, dont avoid it, tackle it head on

◦ acknowledge you are experiencing anxiety bc you are. yes it can feel like shit but it doesnt have to affect who you are being (whatever version of self you are embodying). again, i can choose to be indifferent to this anxiety. you dont have to be scared of the anxiety. it is a natural human response. cry if you need to, let it all out. dont try to suppress it bc that will only come to bite you back in the ass, believe me.

◦ take care of your mental health in whatever ways necessary. when i used to experience anxiety, i used to take walks in the park, clear my head, meditate, express myself and my emotions through art and journaling, etc. remember nothing you do (or feel) in the 3d has to affect who you are being/your state.

"how can i still have anxiety yet still be a desired version of me?"

anxiety has no affect on anything unless you allow it to change your identity. you are the one with power, the anxiety is only an experience, similar to breathing in oxygen and using our sense of touch; its all neutral. when you start surrendering to the anxiety, you are creating and accepting negative stories that you create based on the feeling of anxiety. allowing that anxious feeling to change your state/identity is surrendering to something you view as more "powerful" than you. stop transforming that anxiety into a state that you embody based on the false, negative stories u imagine.

remember a 3d experience or anxious feelings doesnt have to influence who you are being. an example: a model who knows (fulfilled) that she is graceful and beautiful can have anxiety about doing her catwalk. the anxiety is normal, she can experience the symptoms of anxiety (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking) but her core identity/state is still a graceful model. the anxiety is only a temporary feeling. usually when we experience these feelings, they occupy all of our attention in that moment which is why it seems so scary but in reality, its not that big a deal. know that anxiety is just a feeling. you are safe. you can still experience shitty feelings while knowing you are a bad bitch!

you dont always identify with everything you experience. for example, a lot of people experience good things and still identify as people who are unworthy of good things. so its really up to you to choose what to identify with.

i know my only job is knowing its done

◦ if i just decided its done, as the operant power, as i say goes, therefore its done. so my job is done. anxiety is part of the 3d, not my limitless self, imagination. so i can be indifferent and experience it without identifying with it, the same way people manifest what they desire while experiencing their shitty circumstances daily (because they do not identify with those shitty experiences).

◦ ive heard/experienced situations where we know its done yet we cried and felt like shit, and what we wanted still manifested into the 3d. bc anxiety is only a feeling. do not allow your feelings to take hold of your state, but if it does, its never the end of the world... just get back in the state. 3d shit/anxiety doesnt have to intervene with who you are being/what you identify with.

kisses, jani ☆

[apatheticsunday]

Siblings Energy

AKA "the Batfam find out Jason is alive and lovingly bullies him back into the family" headcanon!!

I read this one post where it was like, Damian climbing through Jason's window while saying something actually batshit insane and Jason's just like??? mouthful of pasta, just sitting at his kitchen table, and I'm ridiculously amused by it. Because hell yeah!!

Give me actual sibling energy. Give me, "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine, because fuck you!! No, I'm not giving back your leather jacket, finders keepers. Yeah, it was in your bedroom but now it belongs to me."

I want recently-revived Jason Todd deliberately avoiding the Batfam because he's plotting his Grand Reveal (the Red Hood, Crime Lord and Ruthless Murderer is the formerly dead Robin?? How could it be?? He craves the utter disbelief, the shock, like any dramatic theatre kid). I'm just gonna... gently wrap up Under the Red Hood in a towel and put it in the freezer where it can't hurt us anymore. We're in Wayne Family Adventures Fandom-Land now, guys.

And Dick Grayson was born and raised to be an older brother, his dad humor and oldest daughter syndrome is God-tier, and he'd recognize his little brother anywhere. Even if he's built like a brick shithouse, has a scary deep voice, and is significantly more murder-y than his Robin years. That's his little brother!! That's his Little Wing, his Jaybird!! Dick sees what Jason's doing - the acting out, refusing to talk to his family, etc., and is just reminded of when him and Jason used to fight. Dick would be pissed, Jay would be pissed, but in the end, a greasy BatBurger and a comically bad action movie would have them pissing themselves in laughter.

So, that's what he does. Jason comes home from being a crime lord to find The Meg 2 paused on his TV, lukewarm BatBurgers (extra fries, his favorite), and Dick scrolling through TikTok on his couch. There's a new fuzzy Wonder-Woman themed blanket thrown over his armchair.

And yeah, Jason is pissed but Dick looks up and smiles - so excited, hopeful, exactly like the older brother he is that Jason just... sits down on the couch. Eats his stupidly good BatBurger (no pickles, how did Dick remember Jason hates pickles?), and snorts at the shitty CGI, excessive explosions, and comically too-serious acting. Dick accidentally inhales his BatSoda through his nose at one of Jason Statham's one-liners. There are no apologies because there doesn't need to be. Because there's an unspoken understanding between siblings, there doesn't even need to be an I missed you, I love you so much, please don't leave me. You just know.

But it doesn't stop there. Soon Jason has Tim, his goddamn replacement, collapsing on his new Wonder-Woman blanket and mumbling out a "Dick said you're back" almost sounding relieved before passing out on his couch. Which. What in the flying shit, Dick. But the kid's all bruised up, weary like the homeless kids from Crime Alley, and Jason heard about "JJ" during one of his and Dick's bi-weekly movie nights. So... maybe he lets the kid stay. Besides, it's not like letting his replacement take a nap on his couch will open Pandora's box, right?

....right?

Cue Jason suddenly having this blond purple-obsessed Batgirl variant harassing him for his abuela's hot chocolate recipe (sorry, Alfred), Babs bribing him to visit her at the library with a limited edition of Pride and Prejudice, a Black Bat silently accompanying him on patrols around Crime Alley, and Meta dressed in yellow enthusiastically greeting him whenever he's grocery shopping downtown. (Downtown Gotham is the only place you can get fresh produce, okay? And you beat the crowds if you go in the morning! He's not an old man, Dick - fuck off.)

So, when Damian busts through his window while Jason is eating homemade Alfredo, he's... not really surprised anymore. He doesn't think anything can surprise him after Steph body-slammed him in his own bathroom one morning, screeching, "You make fun of my boy Jason Statham again, I'll shove that toothbrush so far up your-..." Or that time he turned around after getting dressed and Cass was sitting on his bed with a comic book. He did not shriek.

And Damian's rambling angrily about Bruce, probably knowing his akhi will let him rant without interrupting or maybe he's so angry he doesn't care, so Jason just... keeps eating.

(Sometime in the future, he gains a reputation for being an Unbothered King, but it's really just the fact that his siblings are deranged and he's become acclimated to their random break-ins.)

[tgirlwithreverb]

I saw that post about what to do if you're homeless again (the one that starts by telling you to spend all of your money on motel rooms lmao) anyway, here's a few thoughts, specifically for trans girls, cuz I don't really care otherwise tbh:

1) plan ahead, most trans girls are in precarious housing situations, you will have a much easier time when it falls apart if you already have a pack with most of the gear you need in it. Also, if you find yourself in a situation where you cant make rent, dont pay part of it, spend that money on gear, pocket the rest and leave, youll have a much nicer time. Look up your local eviction laws, you have plenty of time. (Gear list at the end)

2) travel! If you're in Arizona in May, leave. it's about to be hot as hell. If you're in Michigan in October, leave. It's about to be cold as hell. If you're in a big city, leave. It's way easier to be homeless pretty much anywhere else. Amtrak is cheaper and more comfortable than greyhound, hitchhiking is free and easy, if you're alone it's not that much slower than the previous two, and it's more fun, and sometimes people buy you food or whatever or give you money. I promise it's not scary and you're entirely capable of doing it, no matter who you are. 95+% of people who will pick you up are very nice. All you have to do is take the bus out of town, as far down the highway you can, to an exit with a truck stop if possible, then just stand on the side of the road with your thumb out until someone picks you up. You can stand at the bottom of the ramp(on the highway) near where the merge lane ends or at the top of the ramp(where there's usually a traffic light), the former is more likely to lead to cop interactions but will maybe get you a ride faster, check on hitchwiki for how the cops are in the area. don't be afraid to take a commuter bus or Amtrak to get out of a shitty cop area

3) skip shelters if you can (they are very occasionally a decent place to get stuff from) and encampments, good places to sleep include the trees near railroad tracks or highways, wooded areas behind shopping centers, sections of parks without paths, overgrown empty lots. Hang a tarp above you if there's an appreciable chance of rain, there's tons of YouTube tutorials on how to do this, maybe I'll make a post about what I usually do some day. There are many habits more fun than motel rooms, save your money for them lmao.

4) get on food stamps. This is easier in some places than others, but it makes the whole thing a lot easier. Just tell them you're homeless, if they don't give you a card the same day, you can probably ask to pick it up from that office, alternatively some drop in centers/day shelters can receive mail for you, or you can have it sent to general delivery(USPS service, look it up)

7) libraries are great for charging your phone and using wifi, but also keep an eye out, plenty of random outlets on the outsides of buildings are also powered

5) dumpster. sidewalk trash cans, Aldi, Einstein's, trader Joe's, pizza places, etc. You need to develop a bit of a sense for it but it's an easy way to get cooked food or travelling food or expensive food without spending resources. Also it's fun.

6) water is free, go into the bathroom of any gas station or grocery store in America(offer not valid in most big cities or on the west coast, but in that case just go to the library) and fill up your water bottle

8) hygiene notes: truckers get free showers from chain truck stops(loves, pilot/flying j) go there and ask them. convenient if you're hitchhiking, also you don't need to shower 3 times a day, really, you'll survive. Ditto with deodorant. Take care of your teeth though. Take your socks off every. day. Change them consistently. Safety razors give a good shave, work well without adequate water pressure, and the replacement blades are very stealable, they're kind of heavy though. Walmart makes these electric razors for women that take AA batteries and are pretty light but give a worse shave, also they kinda go through batteries, pick whatever works for you(cartridge razors suck)

9) traveling food notes: peanut butter is great, tortillas and bagels travel pretty well, tuna packets are pretty good protein for traveling(the ones with rice and beans or whatever are nice since theyre often the same price as the regular), condiment packets are free, hot sauce makes everything better, and mayo goes well with tuna and has a bunch of calories in it, salad dressing packets are free from truck stops and work well turning the Walmart shredded vegetable packages (labeled for making into slaw, next to the bagged salads) into a salad with real vegetables(not iceberg lettuce) in it or mixing in with tuna packets for even more calories than mayo

Gear world:

Necessary items(in order of importance): a gallon of water carrying capacity(an Arizona jug or other twist top jug is conventional, but a bladder+arizona bottles also works), a tarp(larger than 6'x9', not brightly colored), a hank of parachord, a sleeping bag (20° rated, synthetic insulation), a backpack with a padded hip belt(at least 50L, no more than 75), rain gear(a rain poncho might cover your pack too, a rain jacket can help with wind when its cold, a trash bag inside or outside your pack can keep it dry, a plan to watch the weather and not get caught also works), a z-fold foam sleeping pad, three pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear (at least one pair of boxer breifs strongly recommended if you arent incredibly skinny), a decent pair of shoes with good arch support, a functional jacket(skip if you got a rain jacket before), a base layer(wool or poly, absolutely no cotton)

Convenient items: a sleeping bag liner(cotton free, keeps you warm in winter and cool in summer), gallon zip locks to pack your stuff in(helps keep it dry and organized), no more than one change of clothes(as light as possible), a multi-tool(can opener, pliers, wire cutter), lighter(burning rope ends etc), spoon, floss and needles for patching

[abookloverlmao]

THE GIRL IN THE SOCKS ON THE ROOF - JJ Maybank (part II)

Summary: You're in the wind, I'm in the water, Nobody's son, nobody's daughter. Y/N was nobody's daughter, hell she was uninterested in returning home after going missing with the Pogues. Wanting to go back to his arms- her will to live.

part 1: it took me a while! sorry y'all but here you have it<3

Warning: female!reader, triggering themes (mental health struggles, including references to self-harm, abusive dad, daddy issues, alcohol, drug, weed, swearing, angst, argument, shitty nicknames, bullying? etc. this will angsty as shit and fluffy, do not read if you don't want to! you have been warned, let me know what you think!

☆☆☆

If anyone dared to touch his Y/N, JJ will fucking murder them.

When Y/N and Kiara were unexpectedly kidnapped, an overwhelming fury consumed JJ. The thought of Y/N in danger fueled his hatred, and his temper flared as he grappled with the worry that gripped his heart.

Y/N had been by JJ's side through thick and thin, she not only inspired him in creating Poguelandia's flag but also joined him on hunting trips, despite her aversion to the idea of taking lives. 

"This is the ultimate dream, baby. Who needs rescuing from paradise?" JJ scoffed as he secured the rope, glancing at Y/N, who gazed at him with an adoring smile.

"No passports, just living the dream, surf trip, right?" she said, her eyes in the shape of hearts, tanned JJ was something, golden curls, his eyes more blue. The sight of her looking at him that way caused JJ's heart to race, so he averted his gaze, trying to regain composure.

"Ready?" he finally asked, his voice slightly husky, causing Y/N to clear her throat and stand, extending her hand towards him, "yes sir," she replied pulling him up before making her way towards the ocean, spear in hand.

"All right remember, watch your shadow, they see that, they're gone," he warned her as soon as their feet were on the water earning a nod from her and a gulp.

"Just like we practiced, Y/N," she nodded and held the spear with both hands, eyes studying the water for any fish, JJ tried not to stare, her tanned skin, her flushed cheeks thanks to the sun, how her exposed back muscles moved, her shorts soaked and she wore only sports bras, her shirt long forgotten.

"There's a skate, I can't- I really can't-" she cringed at the thought of stabbing the spear through the poor animal so he took action, "dang it! I missed it," he spun around hurriedly in search of the fish but the girl moved without a thought.

stabbing the spear while looking away, she caught it surprisingly, "you did it!" he exclaimed pulling her into a hug between laughs, "that's food in our bellies right there!"

and when Kiara dared him to jump off a mountain onto the sea, she was worried, "JJ don't, what if you drown like last time?" Y/N asked grabbing his wrist, still afraid about the last time when he got hit by the blunt of a machete and fell off the boat.

JJ paused, his excitement fading a little as he saw the genuine fear in her eyes, he understood her concern, the lingering trauma that had affected them both. 

Gently, he reached out and clasped her hand, offering a reassuring smile.

"Y/N, I know it's scary to think about what happened, but I've taken precautions this time. I've learned from my mistakes, it's just a dare," he assured her, his voice filled with determination, "I won't let anything happen to me. Trust me."

Y/N's grip on his wrist tightened, her worry mingling with a flicker of trust, she knew that JJ will never do such a thing to scare her, but she also knew that this boy was stubborn as fuck.

With a mix of apprehension and faith, she nodded reluctantly.

☆☆☆

Apparently, there was a history between Rafe Cameron and Y/N L/N, both were said to be caught in the corner of a party once, Rafe Cameron towering over her and her leaning back against the wall.

Saving Portis's life was a horrible idea, really, it was, Kiara got the idea and Y/N hated the thought of leaving her behind even if the girl sometimes can be a little mean.

JJ watched as Y/N raced between people on the bridge and slid down to hide under a boat with Kiara, their boots came in handy as the girls kicked the man in the face crawling out of their hiding spot.

A man got her arms and held them secure while another grabbed Kiara, she looked around in desperate search of JJ, the familiar blonde hair not once seen, nothing.

She sat on the back of the car in terror looking around for any of the Pogues, eyes focused on the ocean, under the bridge, nothing, she slumped back down and kept herself from attacking Portis in a fit of fury.

"We saved your life! That's what we get?" she snapped, her tone laced with righteous anger and disbelief, her entire body trembled with a mix of adrenaline and frustration, and her eyes locked onto Portis, daring him to respond.

"I'll try to help you, just do as they tell you," Portis said looking at her eyes, wildfire clear in them, "I will make you pay for this," she dropped back to sit beside a soaked Kiara, her grip on the girl tightened, her arm wrapping protectively around the trembling girl. 

She pulled Kiara closer, seeking solace in their shared strength. Their eyes remained fixed on the guards before them, sharp and piercing like daggers.

Pogue girls.

they were locked in a random mansion with guards surrounding them left and right, the windows locked, everything secure and made sure they don't escape, the closet was open revealing red silk dresses and a note "PICK YOUR SIZE" not even some pants or shirt, just fucking dresses.

The warm shower after a month of staying on an island felt amazing though, both the girls stayed each in there for a damn hour, Y/N overthinking of a way out and Kiara doing the same, sighing as the water ran down her back.

The dress was perfect however, and the girls looked like absolute angels, the red that reminded them of rich wine only kooks drank with their tanned skin absolutely perfect.

And seeing Rafe Cameron didn't make her feel any better, "you! I knew you and your father were behind this shit," she spoke storming towards the boy that is rumored to be talking to her- well was.

Rafe glared at her and took a step forward towards her, "What are you talking about? You trying to weasel in on my deal is that what's going on?" he asked pointing at himself, she scrunched her nose at him, hair still damp, "what? Are you hearing yourself? I think you became even more loco with the buzz cut-"

someone cut her off, a man with an accent, presenting himself as Carlos Singh, he apologized to the girls about the rough tactics in bringing them here and it made her raise an eyebrow, Kiara was studying the man up and down suspiciously.

She eyed Rafe and moved with Kiara behind Carlos taking a seat on the couch far from him, so this man talked about El Dorado for about an hour and she found herself getting annoyed every second especially when he pointed out that the three of them would find this island or whatever.

"I didn't listen to a word you just said, how much are you gonna keep philosophizing?" Y/N found herself agreeing with Rafe on something for once.

"you girls have a manuscript, a diary," she froze once Carlos's eyes landed on the girls, and she could feel the curly-haired girl by her side tense, "this is ridiculous, we don't have any diary," she spoke feeling Rafe's eyes on her.

"how else could you have learned that the cross was on the Royal Merchant?" he asked and Kiara replied, indicating that they couldn't help him even if they wanted to, which was a terrible idea.

"We have been glued on an island for a month, how do you think we will help you?" Y/N added watching as Rafe got up and was about to walk expecting that this was all a game, but a guard holding a rifle stood in front of him.

Y/N's heart raced as she watched the guard step in front of Rafe, blocking his path. The realization sank in that escaping this mansion and the clutches of Carlos Singh's operation would not be as simple as they had hoped.

She, Kiara, and Rafe were locked in a room, one day to find this diary and witnessed Portis get shot in front of them, who wouldn't be fucking terrified? Rafe grabbed her arm and turned her to face him holding her shoulder firmly, "don't bullshit me, this diary, do you have it?" he asked.

Y/N pushed him away with a look, fear could be seen in them, "does it look like I have it, Rafe, no." she snapped, her voice filled with defiance. 

She took a step back, her eyes scanning the room for any possible escape route. 

☆☆☆

Rafe had slept the night on the ground while she and Kiara were on the bed, well Y/N had stayed the night awake thinking just in case, she and the Cameron boy got into arguments, he tried to talk to her but she kept pushing him away from her, saying that she doesn't own him shit.

Walking down the stairs with the guard's hand gripping her arm, she stood in front of Carlos in her pajamas, "I lied. I know about the diary, I don't have the original but I can get you a copy, but... if I do this I need to go alone, with Kiara and I swear to you, I'll give you the diary and then you let us go," of course, everything will end like shit with this man.

Apparently, Portis sent a message from beyond the grave that he had captured JB and Sarah and then she was dragged up the stairs by the guard and thrown into the room.

"Get up- Carlos is heading to John B and Sarah- why is he crying?" she asked looking at Rafe with a frown, amusement twinkling in her eyes, "Peterkin, daddy issues," replied Kiara standing up and looking at her with wide eyes at the piece of information.

"oh my god.." she shook her head at the boy.

"He has a boat that could get us out of here," Kiara added staring out the window and gesturing to Rafe who tried to walk towards Y/N but stopped at her glare.

"Fine. This is our only chance of getting out, but that doesn't mean I trust you," she added still in the silk pajamas, hers were black instead of grey, Rafe nodded, "Fine. I get it," It did pain him that she doesn't trust him though.

but, the trio worked amazingly in being actors that's for sure, Y/N deserved an Oscar for screaming so loud and pretending to see Kiara dead, she "fought" with Rafe who threatened to "kill" her, and by that, she means yelling and throwing furniture around to pretend they were fighting, Rafe helped her lay on the bathtub and pretend to be dead.

Hand holding hers she slid into the bathtub, a leg and a hand out, not a move of her muscles.

As the guard entered the room, his eyes widened in shock at the sight before him. Kiara lay motionless, her vacant stare adding to the illusion of death. Y/N's boots peeking out from behind the bathtub and her arm hanging limply added to the grim scene.

Before the guard could fully process what he was witnessing, Rafe sprang into action, with a swift and forceful movement, he struck the guard with the door, causing him to stumble backward. Rafe continued landing powerful punches that disoriented the guard, rendering him unable to react effectively.

Seizing the opportunity, Kiara swiftly moved to secure the guard. She expertly used the curtains, swiftly and efficiently binding his hands to prevent any resistance. 

Y/N, her heart pounding with adrenaline, went for the gun, her voice was firm as she issued her orders, "Stay still! Don't make a move," Y/N commanded and he froze under Rafe.

With the guard now subdued and under their control, the trio had a fleeting moment of relief. They exchanged glances, acknowledging the success of their coordinated efforts. 

and with that, they raced down the stairs following Rafe, Kiara took the picture of El Dorado and the girls followed their friend's brother, racing down the garden and climbing a passing truck.

her grip tightened around the gun, she is holding a gun at the age of 17 for fuck's sake, she almost gave it to Rafe if it wasn't for him to throw the guy off the truck, she was shocked and the first thing that came to mind was what if he did it to her and Kiara.

Rafe kept an eye on her for the entire time, they don't talk anymore and she has every right to hate him, but he kept an eye out, and he's beginning to regret every bad thing he did to her.

he was going to do anything if anyone tried to hurt her, they may never be friends again but he will try at least.

she pushed the green cover off her and sat against the truck as soon as the patrol was over, inhaling and exhaling she looked around, "I told you we just had to work together." not once did she glance at him nor Kiara did.

"All right. Listen, I'm headed out to my boat, okay? I can give you a ride out, drop both of you wherever somewhere safe. One thing though." Kiara looked at him with a frown while Y/N stared out in worry.

"Y/N look at me." with a clenched jaw she turned towards him, "I know your friends are on the island and my sister. I'm not helping them. All right? I can't trust them, okay? I'll give you a ride out, not them."

she stayed silent for a while before nodding, "I just want to get off the island," Rafe turned towards Kie who nodded as well still trying to catch her breath, "Same here."

"That's smart," he said and Y/N rolled her eyes, he really thought I was gonna leave my friends behind. JJ? her mind went back to the handsome blonde, is he alright? did he get caught by Singh?

running a hand through her hair in frustration, pushing it away from her face she leaned back, inhaling and exhaling to keep her anxiety down before she has a mental breakdown.

She could hear Rafe talk to Kie about how he always liked her and that she's at least half Kook, Y/N scoffed, "Half Kook, is it a nationality or something?" 

Rafe fought the urge to roll his eyes, "do you have to be sarcastic every time?" he asked making her turn towards him in annoyance, "Do you have to be such a jerk every time?" Y/N retorted, her voice filled with frustration.

Rafe looked taken aback for a moment before his expression hardened. "I'm not the one who brought a gun to a patrol, Y/N," he said, his voice cold.

Y/N bristled at the accusation, "I only brought the gun because I didn't trust you to keep us safe, as if you didn't hold a gun many times and aimed it at me," she said, her voice rising.

Rafe shook his head, looking exasperated. "You don't trust anyone, Y/N. That's the problem," he said, his voice tinged with annoyance, she didn't say another word, way too tired to argue.

"After what you have done to me, I will never trust you," Kiara watched them back and forth, "I did you a solid," he replied staring ahead, "You told everyone that we fucked, told everyone about my relationship with my father, and... you tried to kill Kie and aimed a gun at me." said Y/N.

Rafe tried to say something, but couldn't, so he closed his mouth.

Soon she hopped off the truck and landed beside Kiara with a thud, "Come on. My boat's down here." both the girls followed him towards a white big boat.

"Make sure your shoes are off. both of you." he ordered and the girls stood still, "Okay, we should have enough juice to get us to Saint Lucia, no problem." 

he noticed them still standing there, "Hey, get in the boat, Y/N! Kie!" he exclaimed watching them intensely, Kie spoke, "You're not gonna pull anything if we get in?" she asked the boy who sighed in vexation.

"No, I'm not gonna pull anything, okay? I'm trying to do you a solid here. You really wanna be back there with Singh, or do you wanna be somewhere safe? Now can one of you help me with the bowline?"

they finally did as told, Y/N kept her socks on as she climbed the boat, "Go help him with the bowline, I'll check around," Kiara nodded and the girl immediately moved around.

the sound of grunting caught her attention and Y/N raced outside, Kiara jumped on the boat and Y/N ran towards the railing seeing Rafe in the water, "oh shit!" she exclaimed looking at Kiara with wide eyes.

The girl started the boat and immediately took control, Rafe yelled and called out for the girls, and for the first time in a while, she felt a pang in her heart.

she felt bad but she had nothing to do, she had to save the Pogues.

"Kie! Where are you going?!" he exclaimed making her wince and look at him with a scrunched nose, "I've gotta help my friends!" yelled Kiara and the boat started moving.

"You don't know what you're doing! Hey!" he panted and threw his arms around, "Shit! I'll find you, Kie! I'll find you! you're both gonna regret this shit. Y/N! You're done!"

she gulped, "I'm sorry!" she yelled back turning around and making her way up to stand beside Kiara, "don't you think that's a little too far?" she asked the brown-haired girl who looked back at the boy, "maybe. please send them our location."

The girl nodded taking the phone and looking back at poor struggling Rafe, it's a bit too far, isn't it? She thought.

Y/N couldn't help but feel guilty as she watched Rafe struggling in the water. She knew that leaving him behind was harsh, but she also knew that she had to help her friends.

As Kiara drove the boat towards their destination, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of unease, she didn't know what was going to happen next, but she knew that they were in for a rough ride, what if Carlos found them again and this time he kills her.

"Are you okay?" Kiara asked, breaking the silence.

Y/N nodded, her mind still racing, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... worried about what's going to happen next," she said, her voice filled with uncertainty.

"Do you have that gun?" asked Kiara again, Y/N nodded and pulled out the gun from behind her, "we are definitely going to jail," sighed the girl, "hey, it's just for protection."

"Yeah..."

With that they fell silent, the boat racing towards their destination, gun at the ready, waiting for the teenagers to appear, Kiara wrapped her arm around Y/N's shoulders and the girl stared ahead.

"I'm sorry...if I suspected you, I shouldn't have been harsh on you," started Kiara glancing at Y/N who threw herself on the chair in tiredness, her heart still hammering against her chest.

"Its fine, I get it Kie," she smiled at her and tapped the location on the screen, before putting her phone by her side and closing her eyes, "I would've done the same." Kiara smiled brightly and laughed.

"We will end up in jail one day, girl," she spoke making her laugh, "definitely, I regret leaving that dress back though, it was so pretty," Kiara nodded in agreement, "so sexy,"

***

Y/N leaned against the fence, thinking about everything, her finger tapped anxiously against the railing as she waited until the sight of a blue shirt and familiar blonde hair caught her eyes.

She frowned, who is he? why was he looking around? As soon as the boy turned around and his eyes caught Y/N, she froze, like time stopped and nothing mattered only their eyes meeting one another's.

The hues of E/C mixing in with the blue and the hint of turquoise, sharp features, pink cheeks thanks to the sun.

"JJ?" she called jumping off and racing down the small stairs trying not to slip, the boy was completely frozen, "JJ." she ran and the boy finally walked, every muscle in his body easing.

She threw herself on him, his strong arms wrapped around her so tightly as he pulled her to his body even closer, she ran her hand through his hair, tears blurring her vision.

"Y/N," JJ breathed out in the crook of her neck, lips brushing against her delicate skin, his voice filled with relief, she pulled back slightly, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes, hand reaching to cup his cheek lovingly.

"Wow! I didn't think I'd see you ever again." she said her voice trembling but there was that beautiful smile on her lips, JJ tilted his head with a smile and studied her with his grip not once leaving her, "Yeah, but I'm here now. Okay? It's all right. It's all right." he said pulling her again towards him.

Her arms wrapped around him so tightly, JJ never wanted to pull away, her lips ghosting on his neck was inexpressible, JJ felt his heart racing as Y/N's lips brushed against his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

He had missed her so much, and he couldn't believe that she was finally here with him, worry ate him alive the past day when she wasn't by his side, and now he was cherishing the moment they were finally reunited.

They stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, finding solace in the embrace.

"I can't believe you're here," Y/N murmured, her voice filled with a mix of joy and disbelief, "I thought... I thought I had lost you." JJ's grip tightened around her, and his voice was soft as an angel, "I'm here, Y/N. I'm not going anywhere," he reassured her, and he was right, he was never going to leave her ever again, he wasn't going to let someone take her from him.

"We'll get through this together."

JJ's smile widened, his thumb gently wiping away a stray tear from Y/N's cheek, he didn't care about anything but holding her to him, god he loved her.

and then after a hot minute of staring into one another's eyes, he finally pulled away as the others rushed over, JJ finally pulled away and as soon as her hand left his cheek he felt that coldness come back and then he hugged Kiara.

Sarah was on the verge of tears when she came to Y/N, she pulled her into a bear-crushing hug one that made the girl gasp for breath but she didn't complain.

"I was scared you and Kie got hurt," she said with a smile on her lips, Y/N smiled at her friend and kissed her forehead before hugging John B, Pope, and Cleo.

"I'm a Pogue, girly, me and Kie never get hurt," and of course, John B decided to be stupid, apparently the church bell ringing was the same one his dad used to ring to call him home.

Because as soon as he left, Carlos's men appeared and started shooting and if it wasn't Kiara starting the boat one would've gotten shot certainly, JJ was yet again exploding with anger as they left the island and if it wasn't JB calling, and telling them to go back to Outer Banks the boy would've drove himself mad that's for sure.

Kiara went down with the others to rest after a whole day of chaos, there was surprisingly a shower in the boat, that was how rich Rafe is, while JJ went to take a shower after Pope and Cleo were done, Sarah was sitting by Y/N's side overthinking.

"you're overthinking again," started Y/N keeping her eyes glued in front of her, Sarah snapped out of it and smiled at her friend, "Yeah, I guess I can't help it sometimes," Sarah admitted with a sheepish smile, leaning back against the wall of the boat. "There's just so much going on, and I can't help but worry, i'm worried about John B."

Y/N turned to face Sarah, her expression filled with empathy. "I understand," she said softly, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Sarah's arm, "It's natural to feel overwhelmed in situations like this. We're in this together babe, and your boyfriend found gold once, nothing bad will happen to that guy." she chuckled softly.

"I mean, look at the adventures we've been through with him. We always manage to find a way, even when the odds seem impossible. And with John B leading the charge, it's bound to be one hell of a journey." it was true, this was all because of John B.

Sarah smiled at the girl's words and wrapped her arms around her shoulder pulling her into a hug, "thank you for everything," she whispered kissing her friend's forehead, "Anything for you." and with their arms linked, silence fell.

"so what's going between you and JJ, you think I haven't noticed the heart eyes," started Sarah nudging her friend who stared ahead as if she didn't hear her, "You know how JJ is. He's just being JJ," she replied cheeks burning red.

Sarah raised an eyebrow skeptically, not buying Y/N's attempt at brushing off the topic, "Uh-huh, just JJ being JJ, huh?" she said, her tone filled with playful sarcasm, "I've seen the way you two look at each other. There's definitely something more going on."

Y/N couldn't help but smile, her gaze softening as she glanced at Sarah, "Okay, fine," she admitted, shaking her head softly and keeping her hand on the steering wheel, "Maybe there's something between us. It's hard not to feel a connection with someone when you've been through so much together."

Sarah's smile widened, her eyes twinkling with mischief, "I knew it!" she exclaimed, squealing so loudly that she had to put her hand over the girl's mouth, "hush you!" Sarah moved her head away and beamed. 

"You guys are adorable together. I ship it!"

and then JJ appeared, ruffling his blonde hair with a towel and he frowned at the girls, "Ship who?" Y/N pinched Sarah's side just as the girl opened her mouth to answer, urging her to keep her mouth shut.

Sarah winced at the pinch but quickly caught on, suppressing her laughter and keeping her lips sealed.

JJ furrowed his brow at the exchange, his curiosity piqued as he approached the two girls, "What's going on?" he asked, his voice tinged with suspicion, "You guys seem like you're up to something."

Y/N flashed JJ a sweet smile, trying to maintain her composure. "Oh, nothing," she replied casually, her voice innocent. "Just girl talk, you know?"

Sarah nodded vigorously, feigning seriousness. "Yeah, just some girl talk," she chimed in, her eyes dancing with mischief.

JJ's frown deepened, clearly not convinced by their response but didn't insist, "I'll leave you guys together~" with that Sarah disappeared down the stairs while wiggling her eyebrows behind JJ.

JJ watched Sarah disappear down the stairs, a bemused expression on his face as he caught a glimpse of her mischievous eyebrow wiggle. He shook his head with a chuckle, turning his attention back to Y/N.

"Well, that was interesting," JJ remarked, a playful glint in his eyes. "I wonder what she's up to."

Y/N shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Who knows with Sarah," she replied, her voice filled with amusement, "She's always full of surprises." He nodded and took a seat.

She stared at the sea and glanced at JJ, “you certainly know the way to Outer Banks right…?” she said awkwardly pushing herself slightly to the side, the boy shook his head and stood up looking for a map.

He examined it and then around, “yes ma’am, just head right straight up to the sun, we’ll reach at almost night fall,” she shook her head at his orders and did as told, saluting him with a grin on her lips.

They stayed silent, it was never quiet between them so this wasn’t usual, he stood by her side, always taller and shielding her from the world, even if she wasn’t that short, he was a giraffe, growing every day probably.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” he finally spoke, making her turn to him in confusion, she furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to the side, she always did that when she was confused, sometimes scrunched her nose as well.

“Rafe.” He uttered his name like it was poison, if eyes could kill; poor Rafe would be dead all the way from Barbados.

She chuckled softly and lifted her silk top revealing the gun, “now if he did I wouldn’t have this now, would I?” she said sarcastically, and JJ swore he fell in love right there and then, his girl had a mother fucking gun.

Innocent and sweet Y/N from about 8 months ago was no longer there, this was Y/N mother fucking Maybank, god his last name fit perfectly with her.

“Atta girl, now that’s what I am talking about,” he added putting his back against hers and pointing his gun playfully, back when he was young, he and John B used to do it with those army plastic toys from Walmart (or make some using paper) and now he is doing it with his lover with real guns.

“That’s some John Wick shit, right there!” he exclaimed, Y/N took her own gun and pointed it around, partners in crime, she felt like Black Widow for fuck’s sake, this was dangerous, but danger can be fun.

They both laughed but she suddenly spoke, “hey it’s better we throw it away in the ocean, cops will investigate here and then us once we’re there,” she said throwing the gun in the sea, it had a single bullet anyways.

JJ kept his and looked at it longingly, “is there no damn camera?” he asked looking around and then she looked around, “look at the drawers,” she suggested turning back to the wheel, JJ looked around and after a good 10 minutes, a polaroid camera caught his eye, it had the initials “W.C”

Wheezie Cameron.

They both gave one another bright wicked smiles and she grabbed the camera, “pose mister Wick,” she said pulling the camera closer and closing one eye, snapping a picture of JJ grinning like an idiot while holding the gun with both hands showing his dimples, she laughed and took another one, one where he was more serious.

“It’s perfect,” she said with a smile holding the polaroid in hand, JJ scrunched his nose and shook his head trying to grab them, “absolutely not. Usually I would say no shit Sherlock but-“ She elbowed him cutting him off.

“They’re not yours at all, they’re mine” she said with a matter of fact tone putting the picture in her pocket, JJ hated how his cheekbones turned red and the way he stared at her, oh so lovingly, his heart suddenly started hammering against his chest in a speed of light, like it always did when he was with her.

They say that back then, a star used to lead a captain’s way on the ship, or whatever, JJ sucked at history, got an F in his last exam, hell he was surprised he didn't get a -F, if that even existed, only good date he managed to have right was when was the Fourth of July.

Ironic. heh, forth of july, the day he held her on a random rooftop.

And if it was true, then she was his star, his star girl, pretty E/C eyes, H/C hair, tanned skin, rosy cheeks due to the rays of sun and their stay in the island, and the salty water made her skin glow.

Fucking hell he wanted to kiss her, so so badly.

JJ looked away and grabbed the camera, snapping a picture of her staring ahead, and she noticed of course, raising an eyebrow at him so his first instinct was to beam innocently at her and sneakily take the picture that came out, “at least take a good picture,” she said in amusement.

He was surprised, for a second he thought she was going to yell at him until her words caught him off guard, “deal,” he said gesturing her to turn around, putting on the fake act of a professional photographer, classic JJ.

She leaned against the wheel and fixed her clothes, hair and then looked at him reassuringly, tilting her head to the side and JJ swore he was about to fucking faint, and he wasn't being dramatic. the sun kissing her skin and making her look like an angel descending from heaven, that for a second he sat there, admiring.

And after snapping out of thoughts, he took a picture, and as she waited for it to appear, he stared, lips pursed tightly and he swallowed, and once it did and she towered over his kneeling form, her hair fell around her like curtains that she pushed it away with a frustrated groan.

His eyes fell on her lips, a single move is all he needed, if he lifted himself just a little bit, he can capture her lips then-

“it’s cute, I guess, I look a damn duck but whatever,” she said pushing herself away with a chuckle, JJ didn’t know what to say, she was perfect, in every way, in so many ways that he couldn’t describe it all, his stare could, it did and that was why the tips of her ear burned red.

"you're not a duck,"

And as he rose to his feet, the boat suddenly moved and he went to her, his hand automatically went to hold her waist and pull her to him just as she was about to fall back, his other hand went to grip the wheel and his body pressed against hers in a matter of seconds.

Her hand gripping his shoulder in fear to fall and humiliate herself in front of her crush, the other on his chest, right on top of his hammering heart that she could feel it thunder against her palm, his hand though, right on her waist, his fingertips right on the spot where her skin was a little revealed making every hair in her body rise.

Her blood ran hot and they both stared at each other, absolutely love-struck, eyes in the shape of hearts and heart beating in sync, getting louder and louder in their ears, her chest went up and down as the air suddenly left.

And she swore she noticed him lean in, tilting his head slightly to the side and she moved as well, eyes dropping to his lips and then went up to his eyes- is it happening? Is it finally happening?

His nose bumped hers, the faintest brush of his lower lip on her upper one and she took a leap of faith to press her lips against his, hey, god was with her and giving her a sign might as well take it.

JJ didn't even hesitate to put a hand on her nape and pull her closer spinning so she leaned against the wheel, her eyes fluttered shut and wrapped an arm around his neck pulling him down so she could land back on the balls of her feet as her heart skipped yet another beat, her pulse drumming with each passing second.

The world around them seemed to vanish, the only sound left was the gentle splash of the water against the boat, the waves mirroring the rhythm of their kiss—soft, tentative at first, then JJ parted her lips with his own, deepening the kiss as if they were drawn into each other by some magnetic force.

JJ's fingers adorned by rings right on her nape and moving to hold her as he stepped closer to tower over her causing her to use her arm and pull him closer, parting her lips.

"oh shit-" someone breathed out causing her to freeze, JJ pulled away and looked back, there stood Pope, he gave them finger guns and left in a hurry.

"Uhm, well that was," started Y/N lips rosy thanks to him, "great," she shook her head turning to the wheel and tried not to smile like an idiot, "you should go see him."

"yeah I should- this shithead-" he said in frustration before turning to Y/N, "I'm not done with you, Stargirl."

"yeah I'm sure, fuck off, Starboy," she flipped him off. Yeah she'll be damned if she regrets it just because Pope stepped in, not he will never make out with Cleo? she will bet a hundred dollars once in outer banks, he damn will.

****

Author note: guess what bitches? I got my computer back, feeding you hoes with JJ, my beloved husband, oh and I still haven't watched season 4 so I beg don't spoil. I hope you enjoyed it my lovely babies<333333 Thank you so much for the likes on every single thing I wrote, I appreciate it so much, miss you all and let me know what you think.

There will be a Part 3, just currently focusing more on my book so, but I'll make sure you guys got it!

special hashtag to these pookies (who likely hate my ass for not posting in so long, sorry homies don't burn my house<3): @loves0phelia , @nirvanalivesdilfs , @thekidscallmebosss , @@ladyinbl00d , @talyaaas-blog

ly.

[haddonfieldhorrors]

If the Slashers had YouTube channels:

———

Jason Voorhees:

- Nature vlogs 100%

- He’d be the guy to set up little feeding stations for wildlife and set up a hidden camera.

- Live ASMR nature sounds going 24/7

- He’d also make a video on Mother’s Day: “Top 10 things to get your mom for Mother’s Day” 🥺

Michael Myers:

- Bro would so make low budget documentaries about himself to stay relevant 😭

- He’d also make his own soundtracks for them too.

- Knife collection videos.

- “A day in my life” just him standing in random parts of his house 💀

- Pumpkin carving videos

- Mask making process videos

Ghost face:

- Reviews scary movies

- Makes mediocre prank videos that aren’t funny.

- Very loud, obnoxious and over the top reactions.

- Y’all know those YouTube shorts where the reactor is just yapping over a quiet video? Yea, that’s Ghostface. Annoying shit 😒

- Shitty, obviously fake, story times with 😱 thumbnails.

- Twitch brainrot. “Chat, is this real?”

- “DON’T (insert some stupid ass thing here) AT 3AM!!!!” Videos…

Harry Warden:

- He strikes me as a multifaceted guy.

- he’s got a video for everything-

- “How to survive in a mine when your bitch ass bosses left you to go to a valentines dance, so you resorted to having to eat your coworkers to survive”

- “Mining: Tips & Tricks”

- “How to find Diamond”

- He’d also make DIY videos on making tools and crafting from everyday objects.

- Like Jason, he’d do ASMR. He’d have a 24/7 live cam of the mines.

- Like Ghostface, story times, but not as annoying, he’s straight to the point. No BS

Brahms Heelshire:

- He gives me vibes of a horror YouTube channel that hasn’t been used in like 15 years that has like 10 uploads.

- It’s all kinds of shit, grainy footage with creepy, early 2000’s quality scary music and sounds.

- But, if he revived it, he’d make doll videos: Restoring doll furniture, how to clean them, how to paint them, etc.

Thomas Hewitt:

- Cooking videos 100000000%

- “Workshop Tour”

- “how to cook ‘pork’!”

- Home Improvement. He’d teach us how to fix stuff around our house 🥹

- “Chainsaw Handling 101”

- He’d even make little animations of himself for his intro 🥺

[quartz-oc]

》 Cynthia ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩

"Man, that girl is creepy!"

"Yeah and she looks and moves weird too.. Almost like some puppet."

"She's a little too pretty to be a puppet. More like.. Some doll.."

"Do you think she has ball joints like a doll?"

"No idea.."

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Name: Cynthia (Real name: ████████)

Age: 16

Birthday: February 29

Class: 1-A

Club: Sewing and Stitching Club

Height: 174 cm (5'8)

Hobby: Sewing

Homeland: ████

Likes: Pretty things

Dislikes: Things that ruin pretty things

╭┈ • ┈ ୨୧ ┈ • ┈╮

Introduction

Cynthia is an average girl. She loves frills and clothes like an average girl. She loves to dress up and do make up like an average girl. She loves to make friends and hang out like an average girl.

Except she's not.

She doesn't act like an average girl. What is that stiff movement? She doesn't even talk like an average girl. Where is her voice?! I haven't even heard her talk at all! Does she even have a voice? She stares too much. Where is the light in her eyes? She's... well.. a little creepy.

After being sent to NRC from a different world, she's been the talk of the whole school about if she's even a real person.

Did the Headmaster let in a possessed doll? Does she have a condition? Her moves are so robotic. Is she a robot?

Well, the thing is... We don't know! She doesn't say anything! She doesn't even care! Wow!

Personality

Despite her appearance, she tries her best to be kind and generous to the people she wants to be friends with. She's always giving gifts to her hands with things she finds pretty or hand-sewn clothing. Don't ask how she knows their sizes.

She also does not speak so she uses a lot of gestures and hand movements. It is unknown that she has a voice or not.

She doesn't really mind that people spread rumors about her. She kind of uses it to her advantage, making everyone run away if she doesn't like them.

She's very particular about touch. Skin to skin contact absolutely disgusts her and even initiating the touch makes her skin crawl. She only allows touch if she initiates first when she has gloves on.

She treats a lot of her friends or people she likes like delicate glass dolls; like they can break anytime under the slightest of pressure. And I don't mean figuratively. It's literally. Her hugs and small tugs on the sleeve are very gentle and light.

Cynthia also dislikes showing skin so she dresses modestly but fashionably. Because of this, people believe she's hiding her "doll joints" under pretty clothes.

She really adores cute and pretty things. Frilly dresses, cute cat charms, pretty hairstyles, people she likes, small animals, and etc. If anything of those are ruined, she gets scary.

People who ruin pretty things are ugly and should just d̷i̷e̷. That's what she believes. It's honestly such a harsh statement but that's how she thinks. Although, don't worry, she's not that sensitive. Her being that mad only happens to a few people and she understands certain situations.

When she's really mad, she can act very impulsive and her actions get a little creepy at times. Like if you bullied someone she liked, she would follow you home. Oh? You have a stray cat that you take care of when you're on your way to school but you're an actual shitty person? That cat isn't there anymore.

(Don't worry. She gave it to someone who can take care of it. She's not that evil 😭😭 Her goal is to only scare you.)

She doesn't really think of consequences when she's feeling something intense which can lead her into horrible situations.

Small Trivia

• Cynthia hates P.E. because she has to get all sweaty and touch people

• Her favorite color is pink despite herself wearing mainly blue

• Many of the first years had to get used to her staring problem because sometimes she's not seen blinking

• Crowley knows she's from a different world but she won't say which because she literally can't

• She sews Grim so many outfits and he thinks he looks cool in them

• She spoils Grim a lot because he reminds her of something familiar but it's a far memory

• Crewel is impressed by Cynthia's sewing and wishes to teach her more but she always ends up wanting to do her own thing

╰┈ • ┈ ୨୧ ┈ • ┈╯

"I don't even have a voice box! I had to borrow this one.."

[johnnyvalance]

my notes i took for the show (edited for eloquence’s sake)

ACT 1:

right away the audience was on point. for the whole show everyone was laughing super loud, clapping, etc etc

everyone cheered for sky, and as a result brody broke character and did a small clap for him as well :,)

right before ggah steve and ponyboy dapped each other up

when the whole gang entered the house in RITF, someone (i believe steve, but i can’t remember) was carrying ace and she said “hey darrel :D”

after cherry poured the drink on dally, one of the soc boys yelled “GO BACK TO JAIL!” to him lmfaoo

”eat shit marcia” was unnaturally calm and it was kinda scary

far away from tulsa fucking destroys me every time.

i feel extreme pain everytime sky opens hos mouth omg

please pardon the dead meme but KWP put his whole bobussy into the drowning scene he was INTENSE

absolute chills on RRB what the fuck i mean i always do but. god.

intermission notes just cuz 😋

soo internet was super shitty

lindsay and i were looking for eachother but it took forever cuz the messages weren’t sending

i was in SRO and so it was super cramped during intermission cause everyone was passing around me

but lowkey i loves SR and almost more than sitting

i had insane view and i like standing

anyways i found lindsay and we had a super fun talkkk

SJFJFJ

meet ur mutuals guys 10/10 recommend

ACT 2:

HOLT FUCK OK

during JFT there was an insane marbit moment

marcia kinda like ran to two bit to check on him while he was getting jumped

but she got pulled back

and then two bit was like REACHING for her and screaming and he was getting dragged back due to him getting beat up

daryl. tofa. holy christmas

his guttural SCREAM

he’s everything

joshua boone ate up the “cop bastards lady bastards you keep moving” monologue

i genuinely got scared he was so intimidating

god bless whoever made daryl tofa sing hth. it was amazing

after johnny died pony was really quietly like

”johnny.. johnny.. oh oh oh oh no oh no”

and brody was like hand over his mouth shocked

before kneeling over

and then pony and soda were hugging eachother for most of the beginning of little brother

ohhh fuck my life

marbit moment in little brother? they like stared at eachother for a solid few seconds

dallys like battle pose while he was on the tracks

he was hitting his chest during “do it for ponyboy, do it for johnny cade etc etc” and then opening in anguish before balling them up into fists again

during ponyboy’s monologue you cod hear him silently sobbing

idk if it was acting or real but it HURT.

jason started actually crying during soda’s breakdown

brody sold the depression and grief so well that shit HURT

[anamericangirl]

Uh, I saw a while ago that people were sending you their stories about being indoctrinated into trans ideology, and I was hoping it was okay if I shared my story too.

It hit when I was sixteen during the beginning of COVID. I was isolated for the rest of high school and college and had relapsed into my depression and eating disorder. While I knew what being trans was, I was comfortable with being a tomboy and thought it was stupid that they were trying to convince masculine women and feminine men that they were actually the opposite sex.

It was my crappy mental health that brought it on because they framed it as "if you hate your body at all then you're trans," which is such a dangerous and predatory message to send to teens and young adults, for many obvious reasons.

But suddenly I went from only hating things like my stomach and thighs to crying - like, literally physically sobbing - over the fact I have breasts and such. It was so sudden and scary, I didn't feel like I'd "discovered my true self," I was terrified because I'd never mentally reacted like this before. I'd never cared about being female before and then suddenly I couldn't stand it.

I went onto Tumblr to find community (because of course I did) and I ran a transmed discourse blog. I was/am against a lot of things that people are talking about today, like transitioning kids, denying biological sex/sexuality, etc. I still acknowledged I was female, the whole thing was just a very convenient label I could use to ignore my shitty mental health and body image. They told me my anorexia didn't matter because the issue had been gender dysphoria all along, I was only unhappy because it was dysphoria, and that anyone who disagreed or tried to warn me about any health side effects of hormones/surgery was a "transphobe." I was only depressed because of my gender dysphoria, and not due to my eating disorder or stress from school or being alone all the time.

Despite this, I didn't fall for all of the herd mentality. I thought it was stupid that they were calling everyone a transphobe, including detransitioners, who they also told me not to listen to.

I did anyway, because I knew they were overreacting, and the detrans spaces were what shook me out of it. So many detransitioned people had been in the exact same place I was. Eating disorders were one of the most common reasons listed for why they'd transitioned at all.

I wasn't trans. I was sick.

I realized that it was likely another manifestation of my body dysmorphia, and I've been vocal in other places that I think gender dysphoria should be considered a subset of body dysmorphia instead of a separate issue, and that it should go back to being recognized as a mental health condition that shouldn't be enabled by average people and doctors.

Everyone knows it's predatory. It's predatory to vulnerable kids/people who think it's trendy and just want to fit in. It's predatory to women for invading our spaces and dehumanizing us. It's predatory to everyone due to the trans community guilting everyone into having sex with them. But I think many people don't talk about how it's predatory to people, children and adults, who are already very mentally ill. Instead of getting help for all of these issues, they tell us it'll all be fixed when we go on hormones and get surgery, that nothing else is wrong and we're just trans. I think it's sickening. Studies have shown people aren't happier after getting hormones or surgery because it's almost like that wasn't the problem in the first place.

I've had ups and downs with my mental health and it took another relapse into my anorexia to officially confirm that that's where the dysphoria stemmed from - my dysphoria disappeared when I went down a healthier path and it only returned when I fell back into my anorexic tendencies. But I'm back on track now and I've been feeling a lot better mentally and physically.

I also never medically transitioned, thankfully, but the scary part was that I had plans to, like I was saving up and everything. At most, now I just look back and cringe. I feel disgust towards the adults who are grooming vulnerable people and hiding behind their self-labeled "oppressed" status when they get called out (acknowledging reality is apparently really oppressive to the left but, y'know, that's a different discussion) and I feel really bad for the people who are still severely wrapped up in it.

All I can say is, overall, it's best not to live in denial, whether that be of your own mental health issues or of reality, and I really hope all the nonsense blows over soon.

Y’all should never stop sending me these stories even if it takes me forever to get to them because damn.

More and more young people are deciding they are trans because it’s a lot easier to convince people they’re trans if they’re already in a bad mental state. It’s not normal or healthy to hate your body and feel like you are the wrong gender and that feeling should not be affirmed or supported, it should be addressed and we should be trying to correct it first before anything else.

But that’s not what we’re doing. No matter how young the child we just give them puberty blockers right away and like, in your experience, when you start getting those feelings, when seeking help you’re only going to find places where people are just affirming that sentiment and going “yeah you’re right you have the wrong body and you need to change it or you will never be happy.”

And it’s no shock they are targeting children because children, teenagers, and young adults are easily manipulated and persuaded.

Bless you for getting out of that toxic mindset before you did any kind of transition!

Thank you for sharing because these are the stories we don’t see enough of!

[bluelockmaniac]

࿐ ˊˎs. gojo

satoru's one petty man. too stubborn to just ask for your cuddles like any normal person would. but he's not normal. he's convinced he could get you to cuddle him some other way.

one cozy evening, he deliberately chooses a scary movie for you both to watch, secretly hoping you'd cling onto him for comfort. he wants to pull you into his protective embrace as he feigns innocence— no, the movie choice totally wasn't intentional, what are you talking about? he'll play the hero, ruffling your hair reassuringly as you bury your frightened face in his chest, quickly wiping off the cheeky grin of triumph every time your teary eyes look back up at him. ah, what a carefully orchestrated plan—

well, time to snap him out of his little fantasy. you weren't fazed in the slightest by the horror movie he picked out and watched it with a blank, indifferent expression as you snuggled comfortably under your blanket (without him). from the corner of your eyes, you catch him staring at you a bit too intensely for comfort. feeling uneasy, you tilt your head to face him only to be met with a familiar sight, one you've seen way too many times.

"pfttt, are you pouting?" a soft laugh escapes your lips as you watch your boyfriend rub the back of his neck awkwardly.

"hmph," he huffs, clearing his throat as he reaches for the remote on the coffee table and turning off the tv. "at least act scared, you little brat!"

"your movie choices are so silly," you smirk, "how is alice in wonderland supposed to scare me?"

"hey, y/n! don't underestimate the queen of heart's wrath!"

"yeah, yeah,"

as you were getting off the couch, you felt his fingers wrap around your wrist, tugging you firmly onto his lap. before you could even react, his arms were already trapping you against his chest, leaving you to only squirm uselessly as his lips hungrily latch onto your neck.

"wait, don't—" you yelp before he switches his attention from your neck to your face, his mouth crashing against yours, swallowing both your thoughts and your words.

"that shitty 'horror' movie plan didn't work," he sighs, hovering over you as he lays you back on the couch. "so this is how i'll do it from now on, hm?"

it was a cozy night while it lasted...

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