#and sometimes it ruins their dates to have people interrupt or take pictures without permission

[stardustneeko]

Loookie what i found in my doodles

[thedistantdusk]

You have such great insights on the text where JKR goes (purposefully) vague. Would love your thoughts on That Kiss in DH - what was Ginnys intention? How does Harry feel about it? Is Ron justified? It’s such a great scene to read.

BIG disclaimer: This is a hotly-debated topic, and there will never be a clear-cut answer. To me, the kiss scene in DH is very sexually suggestive and layered with clues that Ginny intended to sleep with him -- but if you feel otherwise, that's fine too :)

With that in mind, here is my interpretation. But first, here is the passage in question (DH, chapter 7, p. 115-116):

Ginny looked up into Harry’s face, took a deep breath, and said, “Happy seventeenth.” 

“Yeah . . . thanks.” 

She was looking at him steadily; he, however, found it difficult to look back at her; it was like gazing into a brilliant light. 

“Nice view,” he said feebly, pointing toward the window. She ignored this. He could not blame her.

“I couldn’t think what to get you,” she said. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” 

She disregarded this too. 

“I didn’t know what would be useful. Nothing too big, because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you.” 

He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy. He had sometimes thought that having six brothers must have toughened her up. 

She took a step closer to him. “So then I thought, I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela when you’re off doing whatever you’re doing.” 

“I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest.” 

“There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for,” she whispered, and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion, better than firewhisky; she was the only real thing in the world, Ginny, the feel of her, one hand at her back and one in her long, sweetsmelling hair — 

The door banged open behind them and they jumped apart. 

Ok. So... Ginny literally pulled Harry into her room and offered to “give him something.” 

Even without considering that Ginevra is likely derived from either Arthurian mythology (Guinevere) or references to a juniper bush (and that one is a doozy!), I think JKR is giving us a little tongue-in-cheek allusion to what Ginny actually wants to give. ((And yes, I know that virginity is a social construct... but in this context, that's missing the point.))

Classic literature and various world mythologies alike are riddled with references to virginity as a gift. Regardless of how you feel about JKR, you have to admit she’s extremely well-educated and meticulous. With that in mind, re-read this scene closely. Ginny never once says the words “gift” or “present" -- and imo, this is 100% intentional. No one walks away from reading this scene without the inference that Ginny’s “giving him a birthday gift.” JKR wants the reader to make that leap and infer what Ginny meant; by admitting Ginny’s giving him a gift, you’ve already made that connection... and by thinking of this scene as an interrupted attempt at giving said gift, you’re reaching the conclusions that JKR (within the limitations of a YA series) intended.

But even if you think all of that is nonsense, let’s focus on what happens in that scene as opposed to what doesn’t. Would Ginny (who canonically snogged Harry all around Hogwarts and kissed him in front of everyone) feel a simple farewell kiss would be enough to “remember her by”? Even before she starts “kissing him as she had never kissed him before,” I think the reader can make the leap that she wanted more -- but JKR takes it one step further with Harry’s explicit admission that Ginny’s pursuing greater intention in their physical intimacy. 

If that (in of itself) isn’t enough proof, Ron’s reaction hammers the point home -- but this time, try reading this passage through the lens of what Ron not only says, but doesn’t say. Focus on what Ron is really upset about, and you might have a different understanding! 

Once he reached the seclusion of the freshly mown lawn, Ron rounded on Harry. 

“You ditched her. What are you doing now, messing her around?” 

“I’m not messing her around,” said Harry, as Hermione caught up with them. 

“Ron —” 

But Ron held up a hand to silence her. “She was really cut up when you ended it —” 

“So was I. You know why I stopped it, and it wasn’t because I wanted to.” 

“Yeah, but you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again —” 

“She’s not an idiot, she knows it can’t happen, she’s not expecting us to — to end up married, or —” As he said it, a vivid picture formed in Harry’s mind of Ginny in a white dress, marrying a tall, faceless, and unpleasant stranger. In one spiraling moment it seemed to hit him: Her future was free and unencumbered, whereas his . . . he could see nothing but Voldemort ahead. 

“If you keep groping her every chance you get —” 

“It won’t happen again,” said Harry harshly. The day was cloudless, but he felt as though the sun had gone in. “Okay?” 

Ron looked half resentful, half sheepish; he rocked backward and forward on his feet for a moment, then said, “Right then, well, that’s . . . yeah.”

So... to answer the next part of the question, is Ron’s response justified? Well, it depends what you consider “justified.” In 2019, we read this scene very differently from its intention as written over 12 years ago. Add that to the fact that the events themselves take place in 1997, and I think we’ve got a recipe for people misconstruing Ron’s reaction as that of a brother who has an uncomfortable relationship with his sister’s sexuality. 

In re-reading this scene, ask yourself this: Is Ron mad because Harry and Ginny were intimate, or is he concerned about his sister’s feelings? And yeah, go ahead and juxtapose this scene against Ron’s reaction to their kiss in the common room and his chiding over “giving his permission” in HBP (the latter of which Ginny immediately shuts down, but I digress). 

I think the answer is clear: Ron knows that Ginny has feelings for Harry, and he doesn’t want to see her get hurt again. He doesn’t want to see them having sex, but he’s not a creepy virtue guardian, either. His strong, visceral reaction tells you quite a lot about his concern for her feelings, especially because Ron immediately relents when Harry promises it won’t happen again. Ron doesn’t see Ginny as a “ruined woman” for having engaged in intimacy with Harry; he just doesn’t want to see her get hurt. 

((As an aside, Ron’s use of the word ‘groping’ here and Aunt Muriel’s comments about Ginny’s dress being ‘far too low-cut’ are some of my favorites in this book. I know the UK doesn’t do sexual sports analogies like we do in America, but y’all... do we need more proof they rounded second base??? C’mon!)) 

To me, the Hinny interactions in the beginning of DH are pretty conclusive proof of what their HBP relationship looked like. They didn’t sleep together (because this “gift” was special and “something to remember her by”)... but the intentional language use also tells me they went further than holding hands. 

[hoseokmylovesworld]

Picture of Love | 10

Pairing: Photographer!Hoseok x OC x Producer!Yoongi

Genre/Warnings: Hoseok AU/Yoongi AU/Includes strong language, mentions of sex

Words: 5,340

Summary: Charlotte Galloway is the leader of the up and coming girl band, “She-Bang”, with a side hustle as a photographer for anyone who will hire her.  She meets a fellow professional photographer named Jung Hoseok who helps “She-Bang” realize their dreams and Charlotte to make a love connection along the way.

I pull out my phone as I search for pajamas to wear after my shower and I text Leyah asking where everyone was. 

"We're all in the boys' room watching them play video games"  was her reply. I nod to myself in understanding and head to the bathroom to change into my pajamas for the night, happy to hopefully to get most of tonight to myself as I hear a knock on the hotel door. I throw my pajamas back on top of the dresser for later to answer the door. I sigh as I look out the peep hole to discover it was Darren. I still hate that our relationship isn't what it used to be recently and we basically struggle to keep things cordial between us. I open the door to be greeted by his handsome smile and inviting eyes. 

"Hey." I blurt out, not knowing what else to say.

"Hey." So you're not gonna make this any easier, okay.

"What's up?" 

"Oh, nothing...Can I come in?"

"Oh! Yeah. Of course." I almost shout, realizing we were still talking awkwardly in the threshold of the hotel room. I stand aside to let him into the room and we move to the bed room area. As I sit on the bed, I get a text from Leyah that just reads "I'm sorry." which I can only assume she's referring to the fact that Darren suddenly showed up at our door shortly after I arrived back when he was originally playing video games next door. And Darren loves his video games. "You had to tell him I was back." I text back quickly.

I put my phone away and placed my attention on Darren. "So what are you up to?" He plops himself onto my bed. "Nothing, just watching some TV." He nods, very obviously trying to figure out what to say next.

"So, Mezzanine tomorrow?" He brings up our gig for tomorrow thankfully. "Oh, yeah! I'm super hype!" We finally settle into a smooth and comfortable flow of conversation. 

Just like old times.

I find myself smiling brightly at the thought that we were able to revert back to being comfortable in each other's company and cracking jokes like we used to...that is until Darren asks about my night. "So how was your night? You're back a little late." He notes. I sigh before answering.

 "Um, it was good. Went on a date." As if you don't already know. 

He nods. "So...did you go out with that Hope guy?" I sigh once more as I drop my head, already losing patience with this conversation. "Yes, Darren." He just nods again. 

"...You've been going out with him a lot..." 

"Yes, I have." I whisper shortly, my attention suddenly glued to the TV. Great an infomercial. 

"Don't hate me for asking this." He voices after a few long moments of silence pass. 

"What?" My head snaps in his direction, knowing what his question would be. 

"Is he... treating you right?" Feigning a pathetic attempt at a concerned face.

"Why, 'cuz you could treat me better?" I say raising my voice.

"I never said that." He rushes to defend himself, cocking his head to the left.

"No, no you didn't." But you were thinking it. 

"I was just making sure you're-" 

"I'm what? Hanging with the right people? That's not your responsibility or your concern-" 

"You're not my concern?" He questioned, getting offended.

"No, I am not." I sneered, my left hand turning to a fist and the right wrapping tightly around the TV remote.

"Char you're one of my closest friends, of course you're my concern-"

"Well I'm not your burden." Or your girlfriend. 

I'm met with silence and a floored yet somber look from Darren so I continue. "So don't worry about my dates with Jay." I march over to my dresser to busy myself with finding an outfit for tomorrow because I couldn't stand to be near him any longer. 

"...So they are actual dates then? Like he takes you out to fancy dinners and shit like that?" I pause and scoff at the indirect accusation and his equally as accusing tone. I know Darren enough by now to know the underlying subtext in everything he threw at me. 

"We haven't had sex yet, if that's what you're asking." I spit at him over my shoulder. He visibly deflates and his body untenses, confirming my suspicions. My eyes roll back into my head as I refocus on shoveling through my drawers. 

"Once again, that is not what I was trying to say. You can stop putting words in my mouth now." He grated sternly, trying to dig himself out of this never ending hole. 

I let my temper get my best of me and allow Darren to distract me from my task as I whip my body around to face him with a newfound animosity inside me, ready to be unleashed on him. "But it is. It is what you were asking and I don't appreciate it . And I'll stop feeding you words when you start saying what you mean." I snapped all while dangerously pointing my finger in his direction. All formality was gone from my voice because of the level of ridiculousness the situation has reached. I was over this conversation before it started and its about time I let Darren know that he doesn't have any sort of claim on me. 

He takes my statement in before shutting his eyes tightly and collecting his thoughts. "Look Char, I'm sorry, I just-"

"Are you? Sorry, I mean? You definitely don't seem like it. Honestly you seem like you got the answer you wanted and now you're trying to find an excuse for me to feel sorry for you. Admit it. You're relieved...You're elated to find out that no one's defiled my body in a month. 'Oh Char's not having sex with anyone? I still have time to make my move.'" I say in a deep voice, giving my impression of Darren as he sits politely waiting for my rant to be over. 

I make my way over to where he sits on the foot of the bed and loom over him, making fierce eye contact the whole way. "I have been and will continue to sleep with who ever I want and none of your 'concerns' are going to stop me." I hiss, making air quotations around concerns. I shut my eyes tight in frustration and move away from Darren as he reaches out to touch me. 

How fucking dare he?!

"No!...God, things were going so well! You just had to ruin it didn't you!?" I shout with abandon, wondering how we even got here.

Darren opens and closes his mouth, before actually deciding on what to say next. "Char, I...I know I've been a fucking dickhead lately and I cant seem to stop pissing you off, but you have to know that was never my intention and I do want things to go back to the way they were before."

No you don't. I roll my eyes so hard at this, I fear they'll get stuck. They didn't.

"And I'm sorry I fucked everything up-and not just recently, I know that-I just wanted to be sure that-you have to know I just wanted you be safe...and happy." In the middle of his speech, he makes his way over to me and I allow him to rest his hand on my arm as he shares his sentiment. I take a few deep breaths to calm down and eventually shrug his hand off of me, much to Darren's dismay. I feel the need to distance myself yet again so I drift back to the bed and Darren makes a wise decision to sit himself in the padded chair across from me.

"I just don't understand what you want from me." I start looking down at the carpet and fiddling with my already perfectly manicured nails. "I mean we flirt around each other for a year and a half and nothing comes of it, but suddenly when I finally find someone I might actually be interested in, you decide it's okay to be openly jealous...I'm sorry, but it literally does not work that way."

"I know that Char-"

"You have a funny way of showing it." I deride just above a whisper.

"I realize that, I realize that I've been an asshole-"

"Try douche-nozzle of the year." I interject once again.

"Yeah, that and sometimes, I just don't know how to act when-"

"Yeah, I fucking noticed!" I couldn't help, but laugh out loud at that one.

"Char!"

"What?!"

"Can you please let me speak? Please? I'm trying to apologize here and you are just-"

"Fine, go ahead...Sorry." I brush him off and immediately apologize when I see his annoyed face and realize I had in fact interrupted him while telling him to go on.

"I just...yes, I felt...some type of way when I saw the Hope guy come out of literally nowhere and basically sweep you off your feet."

"Why though? That is what escapes me. Sorry if I missed it, but it just went over my head, I guess." I shrug, my sentence dripping with sarcasm as well genuine intrigue.

Darren focuses on one spot on the floor as the gears almost visibly turn in his head on how to respond to my query. After two or so minutes, he takes a breath and sits up slightly as if to speak, when instead he lets out a hearty laugh. Any hint of curiousity or patience on my face had dropped and promptly been replaced with hostility.

"I suppose now I have to ask what it is that's so funny?" I cross my arms and wait for whatever silly excuse he has to offer. Why do I even entertain this?

"Nothing...Nothing is funny I promise. I...I knew what I wanted to say to you when I walked over here...I knew what I wanted to say when I showed up and knocked...but when I saw you it-it was like everything just left." He created a visual of his words with his hand in a wiping motion and laughed bitterly once more.

I feel my teeth grind together without my permission. "Then tell me what is it is you wanted to say initially. Before the ridiculousness ensued." I mutter ardently, hoping this conversation would end soon.

"You know what, nevermind." He gets up and makes his way to the door, but not before I jump in front of him to stab my finger into his chest.

"You're infuriating, you know that?" I look up at his looming frame with a ferocity in my eyes I haven't released in years. "You come in here with your accusations and your petty arguments, trying to incriminate me when you're the guilty one, Darren! And you know it! Nevermind? Are you fucking kidding me? You owe me that after this stunt you pulled today." I continue to dig my finger nail deeper into his chest with every poke. 

"You feign innocence and play the victim when you're the one instigating the trouble! You claim you're confused and J-Hope, is his fucking name by the way, you claim he's the problem and the reason why you're feeling this way when really it's you! It's your ego! It's the only child in you that always gets what he wants, it's the ladies man that's been rejected for once in his sorry life, it's you goddammit! How dare you come to my room and make me out to be the bad guy? It's literally not my fault you couldn't man up and stop being a pussy!" Through the inescapable, raw rage and tears that couldn't seem to stop falling down my face, I can just start to notice the absolutely crushed expression on Darren's face at my words. His jaw and fists were clenched, his eyes that harbored unshed tears looked everywhere, but at me. He looked pained.

I'd never seen him so utterly damaged. My hand instantly flies to cover my despicable mouth at the realization that I did that to him. My hand reaches out to grasp his arm and after a few fleeting seconds of contact, he shrugs it off and brushes past me to the door one more time. I all but chase after him and try grasp either of his arms.

"Darren, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I swear I didn't mean any of that-"

He lashes around to face me, his feral, but upset face startling me a bit. I gasp and recoil back, no longer looking to touch him. "Really Char...You didn't mean all that shit?" He demands, incredulously. I shake my head, helplessly. "No, no." I whimper pathetically as I feel more tears begin to blind my vision.

"Just some of it then?" He offers, scrutinizing me. I have no answer and the urge to break down and cry is entirely too strong for me to continue any type of conversation so I just look at my bare feet to avoid his fierce gaze. It's funny how the hot seat can be switched that quickly. A second ago I wanted to slap him and now I just want him to forgive me.

"I'm-I'm just gonna go then-"

"No! Please don't go like this." I take a step towards him, but keep my hands to myself. "I am sorry." I plead.

Darren spares me one last glance before he walks to the door. He hesitates to open it, giving me a sliver of hope, but he comes to his senses and exits quickly to avoid anything else that might slow him down or make him stay.

I stay in place for what seems like five minutes or at least until Vicky and Carrie come into the room. I immediately go to dry my tears and try to get rid of my sniffles because I can't stand the idea of someone seeing my cry over a guy. Especially if that guy is Darren.

"Char! What's wrong?" They cry as they go to comfort me. I practically duck out of their embraces and grab my clothes off of the dresser. "Nothing...where is Leyah?" I clear my groggy, cried out voice. "She's still next door, talking to Darren. He kicked us out." I laugh humorlessly. Of course my best girl friend is Darren's best friend as well and she will most-likely be in the middle of our fiasco. "What happened, Char?" Vicky approaches me, I ignore her question and race to the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower."

After letting everything out in the shower, I crawl into bed, fully intending to pass out on sight and just forget this whole ordeal ever happened. About thirty minutes after I get out of the shower, Leyah finally comes into the room and she just offers me a kind Leyah-grin before getting ready for bed. Yeah this is bad. 

When I attempt to think of something that might cheer me up other than Leyah. J-Hope immediately pops into my head. I grab my phone and text him about the performance in hopes that he might come see me. I fear the joy of performing might not even be enough to lift my spirits, so I'm enlisting the help of the sun incarnate, A.K.A. Jung Hoseok. He replies quickly saying he'll be there and just like that I have something to look forward to tomorrow.

The next day, I was the first to wake up, as usual, around four in the afternoon and got ready for the day. Not even the excitement of performing at the Mezzanine could put any pep in my step or erase this deep frown on my face. The girls hit the showers one after the other and proceed to do their own thing in the hotel room. Vicky and Carrie give me pitiful, curious looks, hoping I'll confide in them sometime today. Nope.

What concerns me most is that Leyah hasn't even acknowledged me yet, but I cannot tell if it's because she's being her normal self or if she took Darren's side last night and thinks I'm in the wrong and I can't take the suspense. Watching her decide what to wear today in front of her closet, I take the opportunity to approach her.

"Hey, Leyah. Can I talk to you?" I whisper, hoping the others in the next room can't hear me. She turns to me with a bored look on her face. "Is it about Darren, by any chance?" She droned. "Yes."

Leyah sighs loudly and a knowing smirk appears on her face. "You don't have to prove anything to me, Char. Darren may be my best friend, but so are you and to be honest, you were both dead wrong." I can't help, but chuckle at her incredibly true statement. She focuses back on her clothing as she continues. "He should never have even come over here last night and if I'm being honest, it's my fault he did-sorry about that by the way-"

"It's not your fault-"

"And I hear you said some... offensive things." Her eyes focused on nothing in particular, as if she was reliving Darren telling her what happened here. I look down guiltily. "... Yes." I mutter.

"... But nothing that wasn't true." She offers me a humorous side eye. I fight the urge to laugh again as I reply. "Even so, I shouldn't have said them. He looked really upset and... I don't know how to fix it."

"You're upset too... no?"

"Yes, I am... he seriously rubs me the wrong way sometimes, but I know I really fucked up."

Leyah suddenly gives me her full attention with one hand on her hip and one resting on her wardrobe. "I'm proud of you."

Her reply made my eyes pop out of my head and my brows stoop down low. "H-huh?"

"I'm proud of you." She repeats. "I thought you would have held a grudge 'cuz he hurt your feelings-"

"I refuse to admit he hurt my feelings." I immediately defend and Leyah just points at me and tilts her head, as if to say 'That! That right there.' I just roll my eyes in response.

"I'm glad to see you actually trying to make amends is what I'm saying."

"Thanks... I'm glad to see you showing emotion." I utter sheepishly to the ground.

"Hey, I can... emote." Leyah makes lazy jazz hands to enhance her argument and I huff out a laugh.

"Yeah, okay... thanks, Leyah. This is why I love you."

"Ew, your welcome." She cringes and continues to look for an outfit. I just laugh at her and make my exit. As I'm about to exit the room I hear Leyah mumble just under her breath "Love you too." and I feel a blinding smile split across my face. Caught ya.

I look back at the night stand clock and realize it's almost time to go and I'm made aware that I have a favor to ask of Leyah. I spin back into the room, startling Leyah.

"Oh, would you mind checking on the guys for me?" I try to show off my best set of puppy dog eyes. She basically deflates and give me a 'you can't hide forever' look, but agrees anyway.

"Thank you so much." I sang and went to leave the room again, but not before letting Leyah know what I heard. "Oh, and I heard that!" I toss over my shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She whines in the distance.

The girls and I join Darren and Kyle in the hotel garage to pack the van. When the job is done and the crew makes their way inside, I notice Darren stay behind to make sure everything was secure and I decide to strike.

"Hey, Darren. Can I talk to you real quick?"

Darren barely acknowledges me, clearly still pissed off from last night, and looks around the garage before making brief eye contact with me.

"I don't know if now is the time Char." He says quickly before heading to the driver's seat and I grab his arm before he can enter.

"Okay, after the gig then?... Please?" I squeeze his arm gently and turn on the puppy dog eyes again. He sighs and looks to his far right at nothing of importance. "Sure, Char." He uttered as if it hurt him to give in to me.

"Thank you." I whisper before we part ways and head to the venue.

The Mezzanine is thankfully already packed with bodies from wall to wall, almost more than the last time we were here and I hope it's because they're here to see us.

Aubrey, the club manager, welcomes us as we enter through the back entrance around 7:50 PM. "Hi! I'm so glad you guys could come and play for us, I've heard good things about you guys."

I thank Evan mentally for the promotion as I shake Aubrey's hand. "Thank you so much for letting us perform!" I say in my bubbly leader-voice.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the Mezzanine actually have stage hands to help the music acts set up. This place is more official than I originally assumed. That left me too much time to avoid Darren backstage, as if he wasn't already doing the same thing to me. 

As soon as the instruments are set up, the girls and I take the stage and give the Mezzanine the best performance they ever saw. "We are She-Bang! Goodnight!" I yell into the mic at the end of our set, receiving an even louder, enthusiastic reaction from the crowd. I guess they were here for us, that or we just gained a lot more fans.

After we dismantled the the equipment and the regular club music started pumping from the speakers, the group decided to stay and party for a little while, as usual. We all grab drinks from the bar and hit the crowded dance floor.

I can't help, but dwell on the fact that I didn't see Jay in the crowd tonight. Not that I could detect many faces, but his, I could usually pick out of the bunch. He is one of a kind. He didn't even bother to text me or call and tell me he couldn't make it and that's what actually pissed me off. But we aren't even together so I guess I can let up a little bit with the 'not calling' mess. J-Hope is a busy man, he probably got caught up in something.

I find my own place in the sweaty, gyrating throng of people and shake off the unnecessary thoughts, literally. As I look up from my tipsy stupor, I spot Darren from across the room. How we got so far apart is beyond me and I was thankful for it, until he began to make his way towards me and I started to panic. You asked for this, Char, it's now or never.

But as I mentally prepare myself for this conversation I see Darren's eyes narrow on something behind me. He stops in his tracks and his neutral expression turns to one of anger as I feel a pair of hands cover my face, gently from behind. I'm overtaken by fear just before a familiar cologne fills my nostrils and a beautifully deep voice fills my ears. "Guess who?". I turn around immediately in wonder, all thoughts of Darren gone from my mind. I am met with J-Hope's handsome, smiling face and his wandering hands on my hips. Not a second later we were each devouring each other in a messy, tangled kiss.

"I missed you." I breathed out heavily once we departed.

You just saw him yesterday.

Shut up.

"I missed you too." He laughed easily.

"I thought you weren't coming for a minute." I wrap my arms around his neck and we instinctively sway to the music.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I got caught up with something for work. I missed most of the set actually, but I made it! You guys sounded amazing... from what I heard." He finished timidly.

See? Overreacting as usual.

"It's okay, Jay. I am glad you made it. So now you can dance with me." I said flirtatiously, pressing my body closer to his.

"Of course." Was his response as he held me tighter and moved to the beat. Jay and I take after the crowd and grind our bodies together. I press my backside to his groin and roll my body on his and I can feel his reaction through his jeans, causing a smug smirk to grace my lips. All the while, Jay is tending to the weak spot below my jaw, causing my legs to slightly weak.

I make a conscious, but split decision to request that Jay and I take this party elsewhere. We've known each other for a few weeks now, it's obvious we're sexually attracted to each other and it helps that Jay is one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. And I haven't gotten laid since a week before we met. What's holding me back? 

The only reason I haven't pursued him this way before was because I wanted to take things slow since I actually might have feelings for him. Who am I kidding, I definitely have feelings for this kid. But I don't want to be his girlfriend, if that makes any sense. That word still stirs up anxiety in me. Jesus please take the wheel.

I open my eyes and intend to lean up and share my raunchy ideas with Jay, but I'm distracted by Darren's disappointed gaze from where he sat in the back of the club with Leyah nursing her drink and minding her own business directly next to him. 

We share a few more moments of silent, tense conversation until Leyah realizes what he's staring at and literally grips his chin in her hand and turns his attention towards her. After Leyah has a couple choice words with Darren, without responding, he decides to take a seat at the bar and mind his own business as well. I send Leyah a nod in thanks, then I hear J-Hope's smooth voice in my ear.

"Everything okay?" I quickly turn around to face him fully. "Everything is fine." I answer and place a sloppy kiss to his lips promptly as incentive for my next demand. Before I can open my mouth, J-Hope beats me to the punch.

"You wanna get outta here?" He asks as he strokes my cheek gently with his thumb. "I thought you'd never ask." My blissful reply causing a smile to spread across his face. "Just lemme tell the girls and we can go." He nods and follows me to the back of the club.

I approach Leyah, who seems to have been ditched by everyone already. "Hey, where is everyone?" Leyah puts down her drink and nods at Jay behind me. "Scattered around the club, they didn't leave, don't worry."

"Good. Well, Jay and I are gonna head out. Ya'll gonna be okay without me?"

"Yeah, sure." She shrugs, her hooded eyes and usually bored demeanor told me that she would be just fine without me, indeed.

I chuckle. "Is Darren okay?"

"He's... Darren. Didn't like what he saw too much, but... what are you gonna do?" Her eyes drift to Darren, sipping his drink morosely at the bar. She tried to shrug off the pity she felt for her best friend for my sake.

"Alright, well, I'll see you guys later." Leyah just waves in response and goes back to sipping her drink and browsing her phone.

J-Hope and I make our way through the crowd, to his car and once inside, he turns to me. "Have you eaten?" Oh.

"No, I haven't." I say, feeling out the situation.

"Oh, well, my friend told me about this neat restaurant on 9th. Would you wanna go? Or did you have anything in particular in mind?" He finishes with that hopeful smile. Yeah, your place.

Attempting to conceal my shock, due to Jay asking me to dinner instead of to fuck, I force my face into a kind smile. "Nope, anywhere's fine." It's okay, we can wait an hour to get some.

We travel for about five minutes to the place J-Hope mentioned. He finds parking, opens my door for me and leads me to the entrance with his hand rested on my lower back as usual. Above the entrance is a barely lit up logo of the restaurant's name; Taste Me. I tilt my head slightly in intrigue at the name, but shake it off. My attention is then brought to the view through the window of the establishment. It is hard to make anything out through the dark veil of the curtains, except that there is candle light and it is empty inside. I grow more and more suspicious of this place the closer we get, but I keep my thoughts to myself as Jay seems pretty excited about this place.

As we walk in, my suspicions, though I'm not sure what they are, are confirmed. The room was a small square shape with a door directly to the back and the walls were a rich, dark wood. Oak? Mahogany maybe? I'm not sure. The lighting in the room was pretty dark. There was only one small chandelier and a few candles on two brown, pub tables near the windows. In front of the door sat a young, blonde, woman dressed in all black on a bar stool who was scrolling through her phone. Okay.

It had great potential to be a quaint little restaurant... if only it had furniture... and food... and people.

Jay and I approach the woman who doesn't bother to look up from her phone in the slightest. "Excuse me." He tries to get her attention after a few moments of awkward silence. She looks up in a fright, as if she had no idea people had just walked into the building. "Yeah?" Is she says with a hint of annoyance in her voice. I know she didn't.

"We'd like a table for two please, if you don't mind." Jay demands, getting a little annoyed himself.

The girl's eyebrows sky rocket, so as to communicate that she has no idea what he's talking about. "What?" she mutters in shock.

"I said may we please have a table for two... please." He repeats, losing patience. I fight back a smile at the sight. The blonde also seems to be fighting back the giggles as she endeavors to come up with an answer to the question. "Uhhh... erm-I..." She continued to stammer.

Oh, for the love of God.

"Do you have any tables available, or not?" I snapped at her, just wanting to get this over with. I'm trying to laid here, lady.

"Um, sure." She finally forms a complete thought, though she is still fighting off laughter and it's pissing both me and Jay off. "You can just-just go through that door and someone should be there to help you out." She pointed to the door directly behind her.

"Thank you, I guess." Jay says and lets me drag him through the door. As I turn the knob and open it, I can hear the world's worst hostess let out a whimsical laugh from behind us and J-Hope let out an authentic gasp. We allow the door to close behind us as we stand there in complete awe.

Suddenly, I'm overcome with equal amounts of amusement and embarrassment as I burst out in a fit of laughter.

Taking in all of the different types of dildos, vibrators, plugs and costumes I realize J-Hope and I are standing in the middle of one of the biggest adult toy stores I have ever seen.

This is rich. 

[justsomebucky]

Ten Years (Part 8)

Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work, reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume her, or will she see the future in her grasp?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,475 (minus the flashback) (yes I need to stop)

Warnings: language, sarcasm, fluff, mentions of past cheating, drinking, potentially anxious situations, confrontation, crying (every chapter has the same warnings because I’m melodramatic)

A/N: Tags are closed. I rewrote this whole damn thing again, and I’m an angsty bag of trash today, so it’s completely reflected here. I kept asking myself out loud, “Why are you like this?”

You made a face. Now was not the time for this. “Okay?”

She took a few steps closer to you, and you watched as she leaned down to see if anyone was in the stalls.

Once she was satisfied there was no one else in the restroom, she looked back at you. “I was the one who changed the seating arrangements. The class officers asked for my help, so…I sat you and your date across from Clint and Natasha...on purpose.”

This didn’t make any sense. Why would she do that to you? You stared at her in confusion.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she continued, brushing her hair behind her ear. “It wasn’t spur-of-the-moment. I did it on purpose. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”

“Why does any of this matter to you?” You eyed her carefully. “You’ve never cared in the last ten years. No calls, no emails, nothing...why now?”

Virginia shrugged. “I have my reasons. Either way, I really am sorry. I never wanted it to end up like this. I hope you believe me on that note, at least.”

Moments like this were ones that you absolutely hated.

Every so often, someone that you trusted would find a way to disappoint you. Sometimes they would be so pure in their intentions that you could not reasonably stay angry with them.

This was one of those moments.

She wouldn’t tell you why, but you knew it couldn’t have been anything vindictive. It wasn’t in her nature.

“It’s fine. Honestly, Ginny, I’m at peace with it now. I really do think Clint and Nat belong together. Maybe they always did, I don’t know.”

“Plus, you have James now,” she added, smiling. “And he seems amazing.”

“He is,” you agreed. “But that’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I need to know that I can still trust you, though, if I do tell you.”

She nodded eagerly. “I promise, I won’t tell a soul.”

You took a deep breath. “James and I ar-“

The door swung open then, interrupting your would-be confession. You turned to see Natasha peering in the door.

“There you are! Ginny, the DJ is looking for you! He said something about music for the reunion video?”

Virginia looked more than frustrated when she glanced back at you. “I’m sorry, we’ll have to continue this after. Okay?”

“Sure.” You moved aside so she could exit, though you were not looking forward to alone time with your former bestie.

“What was that about?” Nat asked, moving in to fluff her hair at the mirror. “You all right?”

“I’m fine, Natasha.” You made a move to leave, but her soft voice stopped you, like it had so many times in the past. Stupid nostalgia.

“Hey, Y/N?”

You wordlessly looked over your shoulder at her.

“I guess now you know why I got a vodka cranberry without the vodka,” she joked, her eyes meeting yours in the mirror. “Clint told me what you said, you know, about being happy for us. I wanted to say thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You offered a small smile. If nothing else, at least that was the truth. It was easy to see how right they were for each other. They would be great parents.

When she didn’t say anything else, you gave yourself permission to leave without feeling guilty.

---

Bucky was nowhere to be seen once you got back to your table. “Have I been ditched?”

Scott looked up at you with mild interest. “Your date said he had to go get some air.”

“That’s fine.” You flopped down in your chair beside him, looking at him expectantly. “So Scott, how come you’re here alone?”

“I guess you didn’t listen to all the gossip? Maggie kicked me out. We’re, uh…separated,” he supplied with a shrug. “Headed for divorce, I’m sure. It’s cool, though. It’s just like I always pictured: I’m here alone, with nothing good to talk about at a reunion where everyone else seems really successful and happy.”

“Not true,” you argued, ignoring his sarcasm. Scott was too sweet to be this down in the dumps. “I’m a disaster tonight. I’ll probably be fired from my job soon, and I’ve been fighting with James for the last half-hour or so. I think he might even hate me now.”

He shook his head. “That sucks, man.”

“Don’t forget, Scott, you’ve got Cassie.”

That brought a big smile to his face. “You’re right. I guess I have one thing going for me, after all.”

You hummed at him in agreement, and the two of you fell into a comfortable, contemplative silence. Your thoughts drifted to Bucky, and you wondered if you ought to go searching for him.

After about a minute, Scott spoke up again. “Do you think James is the one?”

You glanced up. How do you even answer a question like that? Of course you didn’t think he was The One. “I haven’t known him long enough to even think that sort of thing, Scott.”

“Sometimes you just know, though, don’t you think? Like…”

It was obvious which couple he meant, but you wanted him to say it out loud. “Like?”

He cleared his throat. “Like Natasha and Clint.”

“Ah.” Your mouth quirked up a little. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe some people just know. I don’t consider myself to be one of the lucky ones.”

“Well, if you could have seen his face after you stormed off, maybe you’d be a believer.”

Your eyes widened in question, but he merely shrugged at you. “I’m going to get another drink. Don’t make yourself sad, Y/N. This is a freakin’ party. If I can manage after the shitstorm I just went through with Maggie, so can you.”

---

Bucky wandered back to the table not long after Scott migrated to the bar. He sat beside you silently.

You refused to look up at him, focusing instead on the table in front of you. The fairy lights along the walls made your glass of water sparkle. It was funny how mere hours ago, you’d admired the lights. Now you wished it was darker in here, so no one could see the misery etched across your face.

When the hell did you get so emo?

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Bucky murmured. He rested his chin on his hand, with his elbow propped up on the table in front of him as he turned to look at you.

“It’s all right.” You still wouldn’t look at him.

“It isn’t,” he countered. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m sorry.”

“Really, it’s fine.”

“Y/N.”

“Bucky.”

He sighed through his nose. “Do you want to call it a night?”

“It’s only ten o’clock. Plus, we haven’t gotten anywhere with Natasha.”

Bucky leaned back in his chair. “This whole evening was planned to the letter, and naturally, none of it has gone the way I thought it would.”

You chuckled humorlessly. “I don’t get you. At all.”

“What do you mean?”

You finally looked up at him. “You think that you can somehow control life, by making lots of plans and knowing the right people. I don’t know what made you believe that you could control everything, but I know firsthand that life is chaos, and we’re all just along for the ride.”

“My world was a lot more predictable before they factored you into it,” he mused. “This is definitely a new experience for me.”

That was totally uncalled for. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just trying to salvage our evening,” Bucky said calmly. “Please don’t get upset.”

“Salvage your own evening. I’m getting another drink.”

There was no real rhyme or reason for your behavior, and you knew it. Everything he was saying was technically true. But, as in most moments with Bucky since this whole charade started, you let your irrationality get the best of you.

When you got to the bar, Scott was still standing there talking to the bartender. You figured that drinking with a buddy was better than drinking alone, so you tapped him on the shoulder.

“One more shot?”

He nodded, a little evil grin appearing on his face. “Now you’re talking! One more shot for the lady, please!”

‘One more shot’ turned to two more, and you knew if you didn’t stop at two, there’d be hell to pay later. Tequila never lent itself to good decision-making.

It didn’t take long for you to feel the alcohol in your system. You pulled Scott closer for your own amusement, while a low hum of energy worked its way through you.

“If you’re trying to make James jealous, I think it’s working,” Scott said awkwardly in your ear.

“I seriously doubt that!”

“Turn around.”

You turned, only to find Bucky standing right behind you. His eyes were wide and stormy.

“James,” you greeted him haughtily. “Is there something you needed?”

“Y/N. What are you doing?” He moved a little closer to you.

You felt your breath hitch. Being in close proximity with Bucky after doing shots was definitely on the bad idea list. He smelled really good, and he looked even better. “I’m trying to have fun.”

“I can see that.” Bucky took another step closer, until he was standing so close you could pick out the different shades of blue and grey in his eyes. “We have work do to, don’t forget.”

“You can handle Natasha. You’ve been handling her pretty well tonight so far, wouldn’t you say?” Crap. Now you were the jealous one.

“Why don’t you take a break from drinking and...whatever this is, and come sit back down with me, okay? I’ll get you some more water, and we can talk. I think there’s been a huge misunderstanding.”

“I can’t talk to her while Clint is there,” you protested, turning back to Scott, who was backing away from the two of you slowly.

“Don’t ruin this for us,” Bucky pleaded, reaching for your elbow and turning you to face him again. “No games, okay? Besides, Natasha is back at the table. We have to see this through, and-”

You got in his face then, your own fury mixing with the tequila to double your bad decisions. “Don’t worry, Bucky. I’ll see it through by resigning on Monday. I’ll tell T’Challa this was all my fault. You won’t have to put up with me ever again, and your precious reputation will stay intact.”

Before he could say another word, you turned on your heels and moved as quickly as you could to lose him in the crowd, not wanting him to see how much this whole night was hurting you.

He made you so freaking mad! This was the stupid elevator thing all over again. What right did he have to treat you like this, then accuse you of playing games? You were both lying to everyone!

You spotted Virginia from across the room. It was now or never.

---

“Can we please talk now? Ginny, please?”

“All right, all right,” she replied, putting her hand on your back as she led you back into the ladies restroom. “Come on.”

She locked the door this time. “Spill. What’s on your mind that has you so worked up?”

“I came here tonight with James to get a lead on a new account for work, not to see anyone.” The truth spilled from your mouth with ease, and you waited for her reaction.

Her eyes widened a little. “What do you mean, a new account?”

“Natasha works for Stark Industries,” you explained. “I work for Wakanda, Inc. It’s a –“

“I know what it is,” Virginia interrupted, waving her hand. “Go on.”

“My boss thought that if I came here tonight and talked to Natasha, she might be able to get me a meeting with Mr. Stark,” you continued. Maybe you shouldn’t have had so many tequila shots. You were practically rambling now. “I didn’t come here to make peace with her. I showed up to use her connections.”

Virginia stared at you for a moment. “Y/N, I knew.”

“I know, I know, it’s terrible, and I- wait, what?”

“I said, I knew. I knew this whole time, Y/N. I knew you worked for Wakanda, Inc. I know who Bucky really is. He doesn’t remember me, but I remember him from a meeting a few weeks ago, when your company first threw its hat in the ring for Tony Stark’s contract.” She gave you a rueful smile. “I knew.”

Now you really regretted the shots. Why didn’t Bucky mention any of this to you?  “There was a meeting?” you repeated weakly, feeling stupid for not knowing.

Virginia nodded at you. “Nothing too formal, just an introduction, but yes there was a meeting. You aren’t the only one with a fancy Manhattan job, Y/N. I work for Stark Industries.”

“And…what do you do for Stark Industries?” You were almost afraid to ask.

“I help run it. They call me Pepper, though. I’ve always hated the nickname Ginny, so I was really relieved when I got a new nickname my first week there.”

Oh no.

Oh shit!

Your thoughts were racing. “That still doesn’t explain why you suspected my motives for tonight? Did someone else tip you off?”

“No, actually. Bucky’s reputation precedes him. I’ve heard about how he’s married to his job, how he’s one of the best in the business...” She stepped closer to you. “I’ve also seen the proposals, and your name was on the list of potential account managers. When I saw it listed there, I was able to piece it together pretty easily.”

You watched her eyes as she rounded on you. 

“I wanted to see what would happen, if you want to know the truth. I wanted to see the lengths you guys would go for this contract. I’m very protective of Tony. I have to say, Y/N, I was very impressed with Bucky.”

“You were?”

“He seemed interested in doing whatever it took to get the contract,” she explained, raising an eyebrow at you. “He even flirted with Natasha a little. He’s truly dedicated.”

Your stomach lurched again at the thought of him hitting on Natasha, or even the idea of them talking.

Ginny – no, Pepper – sighed. “I bet you didn’t plan on the one problem in this whole fake-relationship scenario, did you?”

“You mean the part where I just blew our chances by confessing to you?” You looked down at the tiles below your feet dejectedly. The familiar sting of unshed tears caused your eyes to burn. Bucky had been right earlier. Life didn’t cause chaos, you did.

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

You glanced back up in confusion. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at, Pepper.”

“Your feelings for Bucky, silly,” she retorted with a sympathetic smile. “And his feelings for you, of course. The two of you are being so clueless tonight, I feel bad for you.”

“That’s ridiculous.” You shook your head at her. “This is all for work. Bucky is the best at what he does, and he’d do anything to secure a new client.”

A perfect blonde eyebrow arched on her face. “Please, Y/N. We might not have seen each other in ten years, but I still know you. You wear your heart on your sleeve a lot.”

You remained silent, unsure of what to say to that. She wasn’t entirely wrong about you, but she was way off about Bucky. ”I should also mention, because I consider us to be friends, that I am dating Tony Stark.” Oh, this was just fan-freaking-tastic. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, life goes and ups the ante on you. “Great,” you muttered, glancing down again. How the hell were you going to explain this to Bucky? You were just being over-dramatic when you said you were going to resign earlier, but now you just might have to. The sound of a stall door unlocking startled you both. You cursed mentally, realizing that neither of you checked to see if anyone was in the restroom before you started spouting all these truths. Natasha stepped out, her expression beyond furious as she went to wash her hands. You exchanged a look with Pepper. “Nat, I can explain.” 

“That’s all this was to you then, huh? You and your coworker lying to our faces?” Natasha whirled around to glare at you. “I thought maybe tonight I could finally get your friendship back. I know I messed up in the past, but I’ve spent the last ten years feeling guilty and apologizing for it. I never expected you to be like this now.”

“Please,” you whispered, feeling much more sober than before. “I forgave you guys, I tried to-“

Her big blue eyes filled with tears. “Tried to use me? Yeah. I might have hurt you in the past, but I was a kid then. You’re an adult! You were never like this when you lived here on Long Island. Maybe the city really did ruin you.”

With that, she pushed past you, unlocking the door and leaving you to stand there in stunned silence.

Pepper sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Y/N, whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m sorry, Pepper. I’m a terrible person. Please don’t punish Bucky or the company for my mistakes. I’m so sorry.”

You fled the restroom before she could utter another word.

---

You fled to the hallway, where you leaned up against a row of lockers, letting your head fall back against the metal in frustration. Tears were still threatening to fall, but now you had a new emotion on top of everything else: self-hatred.

“Why the hell did I come back here?” Your tearful voice echoed down the hallway.

“Because T’Challa asked you to.”

You turned your head and saw Bucky walking toward you, looking just as unhappy as the last time you saw him.

“I just had an interesting conversation with Natasha. Apparently you confessed everything about our pitch in the restroom to Virginia, and she heard it all?” For the second time that night, his eyes were like storm clouds, dark and furious.

“I did.” There was no reason to lie to him. He was just doing his job.

Bucky ran a hand down his face in disbelief. “And your former classmate, Virginia, is really Pepper Potts, Tony Stark’s girlfriend?”

“She is,” you confirmed quietly. “She used to go by Ginny. I didn’t know at the time, Bucky, I swear, I-“

“You realize that this sets us back, right? Maybe even ends our bid?” Bucky began pacing back in forth in front of you, his hands tugging on his hair in frustration. “This was a huge deal for Wakanda, Inc. We could lose our jobs, Y/N.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose. I thought I could tell Gi- Pepper, because I’ve known her for years, and she’s never been anything but kind to me. I thought I could talk it out, and she would help me find a way to get Natasha on our side…”

Bucky shook his head. “I asked you not to ruin this for us, didn’t I? So what do you do except the exact opposite? You said earlier tonight that you didn’t get me at all. Well, right back at you, doll.”

You bit your lip, eyes watching him turn in circles as he tried to come to some unknown conclusion about you.

“At work, you’re so diligent, so calm and focused, willing to get things done the right way. But you come here, see your ex-boyfriend, and you let things get out of hand so fast that everyone’s left standing in your wake, in your damage path, wondering what just happened.”

“I’m sorry.” You didn’t know what else to say. It was stupid, and you knew nothing could fix this now.

It was over.

Bucky stopped pacing to meet your gaze. “I’m sorry, too.” After a few beats of staring at you with those beautiful blue eyes, he turned and headed for the exit.

You took a few steps forward, but stopped yourself from following him. “Bucky, where are you going?”

“Back to the hotel,” he replied over his shoulder, not bothering to stop. “This whole thing was a bad idea. I can’t be here anymore.” He disappeared through the glass doors, leaving you alone against the lockers.

So much for salvaging the evening and making new memories. The night was turning out to be just as big a disaster as you’d expected it to be, back when you first told Wanda you wanted nothing to do with your reunion.

The tears you’d been holding back started streaming down your cheeks, and you buried your face in your hands to muffle the sobs.

---

Part 9

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[hyrulehb]

I’ll Show You A Winter Wonderland

Kei’s morning started out crazy, being woken at the ass-crack of dawn and then pulled by his boyfriend, dumbass extraordinaire, onto a bullet train to who knows where, because apparently it’s a secret that not even the threat of disembowelment could loosen Kou’s lips for.  Well, maybe he should give the brunet the benefit of the doubt. 

Thing was, Kei hated the cold. 

Follows my ‘How do you walk forward?’ series for ajin. Includes my own experience in Japan of going to the Tokamachi snow festival and have Kou and Kei acting sweetly domestic, with more than a dash of angst. 

Happy ending!   

Edited by Origami10, sorry about the delay this is twice as long as my other four ajin fics so I hope that makes up for it!

To say Kei was annoyed was an understatement. He was groggy from being forced to wake up ridiculously early by an oddly excited… for the time of day it was, Kou. Forced to get dressed only for the light-haired ajin to tut at what he chose and making him change into his selection. Why the fuck did he need to wear a thermal undershirt, two sweaters, thermal loose leggings, thick knee-high socks and then thick jeans?! Kou was dressed similarly and Kei was certain that he saw some thick overcoats also shoved into the backpack that Kou shouldered on.

 It felt like he was starting to melt. Sure, it got cold in Tokyo, but not nearly enough to warrant THIS.

 It was tempting to just have his IBM dispose of his annoyance of an immortal boyfriend, but there was this happy gleam in the other’s murky red eyes that somehow convinced Kei to just go along with whatever scheme he had cooked up.

 After the fall of Sato over a year ago, things had been calm and after living a short time at home Kei had decided it would be better for everyone if he stayed at the new Ajin Services Department Headquarters with the rest of the remaining team members. Since Sendai was only a short distance from the main hub of Tokyo he could visit home whenever he wished anyway and see his sister in the hospital.

 Izumi and Tosaki lived at the headquarters of course, the woman still had her secret of being an ajin safe and continued to serve the white-haired human as his bodyguard and secretary. Kou had been officially adopted by Tosaki, but it was mainly for legal reasons for the minor to stay with him and to be separated from his neglectful parents. The pair were as far from father and son as one could get, though Tosaki took his responsibility seriously after a note in Hirosawa’s will made his concern for the pair of young ajin known. Kou had finished getting his high school diploma online, after much harassment from the human. Now Kou was taking online college classes along with Kei.

 Kou’s identity was still unknown to the public which was why, unlike Kei, he didn’t have to wear a beanie over his hair or a medical mask to obscure his image. It was nice that the chilly February weather didn’t make anyone question the look. While Kei had been cleared of any ‘crimes’ for his escape from the police and government, there was no magic button that would make all humans have good will towards ajin.

  It was better to be safe than sorry.

 The next thing that had happened was Kei was bustled out of the headquarters, frowning in confusion as a passing Izumi forced another backpack in his arms and gave him a knowing smile before Kou pulled him along and into a waiting taxi.

 Any time that Kei tried to question what was going on or where they were going, he had simply been brushed off as Kou led them through the bustle of the train station and slid through the ticket gates of the bullet train section of Tokyo station. That was Kei’s first hint that Kou had planned this well in advance as he looked down at the ticket that had been shoved into his hand.

 Max Toki Line, reserved seat, destination Echigo-Yuzawa. It was a two-hour long journey, and wracking his brain to remember his geography, Kei remembered that it was in a more northern part of Honshu and on the west coast of the main island of Japan.

 What the hell?

 Ass in the seat, a mixture of confused, annoyed, surprised, and disbelieving was that state that Kei found himself in. Of course, only Kou could make him feel like this. The taller ajin was a mixture of both spontaneous and predictable. But for the life of him, Kei could not figure out what Kou was plotting. Good thing, Kei had extra of those to spare with always being able to come back from the dead.

 Probably the only thing that was keeping Kei from possibly shoving his boyfriend out of the window while they were going hundreds of kilometers per hour was the fact that there were too many witnesses around… and the fact that when he opened his backpack he discovered a still warm breakfast inside and a thermos full of coffee, prepared the way he liked it with plenty of cream and sugar.

Tosaki grimaced whenever he saw the color of the concoction and Kou always asked if the other would ‘like some coffee with his sugar’. Izumi chimed in that it was probably the only way that Kei could balance the bitterness in his soul when he first started the day.

 Kou was digging into his own food and Kei knew better by now to not interrupt the other while he was eating unless he wanted to see him talk with his mouth full. A disgusting habit that the group hadn’t managed to curb yet. A pack of yaki-pudding also helped to sooth Kei’s annoyance. Stomach full, both teenagers let out a collective sigh of contentment.

 It didn’t last long though as Kei rounded on the more athletic ajin, “Mind telling me where the hell we are going, dumbass?”

 “If I promise it’s nothing bad will you give me the benefit of the doubt?” The other countered with a small wave of his hand, practically immune to Kei’s glares by now.

 So, it looked like Kou was going to play dirty right out of the gate, using the trust card was a shitty move. His cocky smirk told Kei that Kou knew it as well. If the other teenager had pulled this a year ago, he would have had some dagger-like claws poking through his stomach by now. However, Kei had learned how to communicate and control his IBM since then. It still wasn’t perfect, the asshole of a black ghost still appeared from time to time without his permission. Ogura had said it was part of the creature’s unique ‘charm’.

 Kei didn’t quite agree with that sentiment of course, but he accepted it.

 “And what’s the harm in telling me now, I feel like I’m going to die of heat stroke at this rate.” The clothing was heavy and made him feel like a marshmallow more than a huma-, more than a living creature. The train suddenly darkened as they entered another tunnel carved through a mountain. This had to be the fourth one and each time it made Kei’s ears ring as the echo of the train was magnified.

 It didn’t look like Kou was having any difficulty though and he seemed just as bundled up as him, actually, most of the people in the train appeared to be wearing layer upon layer. Kei didn’t like the cold and this really didn’t look like it was going to bode well for him. He’d never traveled further north, but had seen plenty of pictures online and seen weather reports droning on and on about how the northern regions of Japan got hammered every year with snow. If a few centimeters of snow fell in Tokyo the trains would be delayed and schools would be closed, but it was daily winter life for the people in these areas.

 It sounded like an oh so miserable existence to him. Why would ANYONE out there put themselves through such a yearly torture like that?

 The tunnel continued to stretch around them and it felt like a breath of fresh air was breathed into the train when daylight flooded the vessel once more. Kou’s eyes were gazing out the window, expression soft and smile gentle as he spoke, “Man, I love this place. It’s beautiful.”

 Craning his neck around the taller boy’s shoulder, Kei could agree with part of the sentiment. Before they had entered the tunnel, they had been working their way through green mountains and a few scatterings of fields. This though… was completely different. Coming out the other side it was like entering a completely different world. The mountains were still there, but it was different.

 This was Niigata prefecture, “Snow Country”. There was a famous early modern era novel named exactly that and it took place in this prefecture and they had just traversed the same tunnel that the story opened with. Kei never imagined that it would be so accurate.

 …Or literal.

 There was that frigid white shit everywhere. Just looking at it had shivers running down his arms and they hadn’t even left the train. Still his attention was turned from the white hell to mull over the words that Kou had spoken, asking, well more like demanding as the white capped mountains and snow covered rice fields continued to whiz past, “You’ve been here before?”

 “Well, umm yeah,” Kou scratched the back of his head and Kei could almost see the wheels in the other ajin’s head turning as he tried to decide how much to tell his lover without ruining the apparent surprise. Kei still hadn’t the foggiest idea of why they were out here.

 “Actually, my family and I aren’t originally from the Tokyo, or even the Kanto, area. I was born and grew up mostly in Niigata. I grew up in a suburb of Niigata City the capital of the prefecture, but we’re not going there. That’s further north and it’s not as pretty as here since it’s closer to the ocean and they don’t get as much snow being on the coast and crap. It’s just slushy and annoying.” Kou chuckled at the shorter ajin’s flabbergasted expression. Kou didn’t talk much about his past, mostly being vague when asked, though Kei could be the same when asked about what took place during the government experiments.  

 They might have been dating for almost a year now, but they were still learning things about each other. Sometimes it concerned Kei that he actually knew very little about the taller ajin, sure he loved Kou for who he was. But it seemed he still didn’t have all the pieces for what made the other teenager turn out the way he is.

  Loving, trusting, funny, determined and stubborn as hell. He had so many of the characteristics that Kei himself lacked that it seemed they could balance each other out.

 “If you’re from Niigata… That’s why you throw a fit every time we have to buy groceries,” Kei blinked, it felt like he had suddenly solved a difficult equation and Kou huffed as he crossed his arms, sinking further into his seat, “If they would buy the right kind of rice, I wouldn’t have to. Everyone knows that the best rice in Japan comes from Niigata prefecture.”

 “Doesn’t it all taste the same?” Kei groused back, rolling his eyes. Honestly, the dark-haired ajin would eat almost anything, but Kou was surprisingly picky. Apparently, it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that Kei had once poisoned the other with mushroom onigiri. Which Kei had been suspecting, seemed he was wrong again about his energetic lover.

 Kou looked scandalized, volume rising as he leaned closer, “It does not!”

 Kei flinched, trying to shush the other while Kou continued his tirade, but his volume thankfully did decrease, “The texture, flavor, stickiness, all of it is better in rice from Niigata!  I’ll prove it to you when we get something to eat. I’ll make a believer out of your tasteless ass! My grandparents had a rice farm and while I was growing up I would go help plant and harvest it with them every year.”

 The brunet’s eyes were dreamy as memories were obviously playing through his mind, his smile wide, but as the seconds ticked by, Kei witnessed a slow transformation.

 Bushy brows started to furrow, pinching the area between them, his nostrils flared slightly and his lips started to turn downwards. Kou’s back flopped back against the seat once more, eyes turning back towards the window as the wintery landscape passed by, “At least, I did until they both passed away, it was during the same year too. No one in my family wanted to deal with the farm so I think it went to some distant cousins or something. Don’t know if I’d even remember where it was honestly.”

 That somber tone, that wasn’t something that Kei was used to hearing from the cheery ajin, it made his skin crawl. He really, really didn’t like it. Still things like comforting didn’t come to him naturally and he struggled to find something that could turn the other’s mood. Wasn’t it supposed to be Kei in the bad mood with the secrets and having been dragged on a mysterious journey?

 “So, you’re even more blue collared than I thought,” Kei finally muttered, making Kou glance towards him in confusion. Good, if his attention was on him, then it wasn’t on whatever depressing thoughts were obviously going through his brain, “In Japanese the word ‘aoi’ can mean both blue and green depending on the situation. There’s the English phrase ‘green thumb’ for someone who is skilled at growing plants. Maybe you can start a garden or some shit, Tosaki would probably allow it if it was cost effective.”

 Kou’s eyes had started to sparkle again asking as he perked up, “You think he’d really go for it?”

 “It’s worth a shot,” came the answer with a small shrug, smirking as he added, he couldn’t resist getting another dig in while he could, “I still think if you grow rice it’ll taste the same as everywhere else though.”

 The scowl Kei received was instant as Kou growled back, tone surprisingly serious, “I’m going to make you literally eat those words.”

 The dark-haired teenager would have probably countered with something witty if not for the trolley of snacks and drinks coming to a stop by their row, the woman cheerily asking them if they wanted anything. Kei’s muddy red eyes flicked over the boxes, ignoring Kou’s warning about ruining his appetite as he pointed towards some kind of cheesecake thing. Taking out his wallet which he discovered had already been packed into his bag, Kei’s eyes widened minutely as he noticed the thick stack of bills stuffed inside. Why the fuck-?

 He’d have to question it later as the woman was still waiting for the payment, getting his second sweet of the day Kei smirked as he took a slow bite out of it to spite Kou who was grumbling about his lover’s apparent lack of self-control around desserts.

 Unfortunately for Kei as he enjoyed the delicious treat, Kou would get the last laugh as the other’s eyes caught something on the wrapper. Snatching it up from the pull-out tray attached to the back of the seat in front of Kei he crowed with victory, finger tapping against the familiar kanji as he shoved the plastic into Kei’s face, ‘Made with Niigata rice flour’.

 Kei was tempted to stab the loud teen with a chopstick, but resisted… barely. His tone clipped as he bit a little bit harder into the food than necessary, “You’re lucky that we’re in public, you know that right?”

 “And you know you love me~,” Kou sing-songed right back, Kei had finished eating and slipped the mask back over his nose and mouth, but Kou pulled it right back down so he could place a kiss over the other’s lips.

 While Kei didn’t push him away, the intellectual could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment as he hoped no one was watching him, a too high of a hope with how loud his companion kept carrying on in a place that what was supposed to be quiet by the standards of social norms. Hissing softly as he pulled the piece of thin cloth back over his face, “Dumbass, pulling it off kind of defeats the purpose of wearing it.”

 “It’s not my fault that I have a kissing quota to fill, babe.”

 At least the mask helped to hide Kei’s flush as he hissed back, “There is no such thing.”

 “Of course there is,” Kou childishly raised his hands to count on his fingers as he smirked, “On a good day it’s ten, on a bad day it’s fifteen, and on a great day it’s twenty-two.”

  “That makes absolutely no sense,” Kei groaned, feeling a bit exasperated, rubbing at his temples as he tried to make sense of the other’s logic. Eventually just giving up as he slumped back against his seat and pulled his backpack onto his lap so he would riffle through it. Hoping to find his phone but coming up empty. Was he really going to be stuck out in the sticks without any form of communication? What if something happened back at the base, what if somehow Sato came back, or something equally as bad occurred. While his expression remained mostly calm, his heart started to pick up its pace as he desperately searched through all the pockets of the bag once more and of the clothes he was wearing.

 “I have your phone, and no, you’re not allowed to have until I say so,” Kou’s voice cut through Kei’s rising panic, hands freezing in their frenzied scramble as he turned his head to stare at the taller teenager. The gaze should have been unnerving, but it rolled off Kou like the rain as he continued, “The volume is on max, so if something does happen we’ll know, okay?”

 Kei’s brow twitched and Kou could see the other’s internal debate strikingly clear, speaking as he heard the ding of the audio system of the train, “Our stop is comin’ up. Get your trash together.” He started to quickly gather his own things as the announcer rattled off their stop and other people started to shuffle about. “I’ll give it back after we get to where we’re going, I don’t want you getting any hints. It wouldn’t be a surprise if you did.”

 A drawn-out sigh was Kou’s signal of victory as Kei started to zip his bag up, grimacing as Kou shoved another thick coat at him from his own bag. A glance out at the frozen landscape had him grudgingly accepting it, the scarf, and the gloves tossed into his lap.

 Honestly one more layer and he felt like he might be reduced to walking like a penguin, but as the door of the bullet train slid open and the cold air rushed his face, Kei decided he could deal with not becoming the first ajin popsicle.

 Maybe the immortal race could be likened to frogs, if they died in the cold and were frozen solid, would they revive in the spring when their flesh started to thaw? It was an interesting theory and if Kou pushed him far enough he might be tempted to test it on him.

 Kou was similarly dressed and the bright yellow earmuffs that adorned his head would definitely make him stand out in the crowd if Kei lost him. Still the thought of getting lost in an unfamiliar prefecture without any means of communication made him walk closer to Kou as they worked through the crowds and eventually out of the station.

  Kei’s eyes were scanning the walls they passed, looking for some kind of clue as to why they were out here. The advertisements passed too quickly to read, but he could see the pictures of people snowboarding and skiing, along with plenty of pictures of traditional hot springs whose business must flourish in the winter season. They had their own private hot spring back at the base, they wouldn’t need to come all the way out here for one, even if the backdrop would make a spectacular image.

 Dragged out of his musing as he was shoved into yet another taxi, Kei continued to brood as Kou made small talk with the driver, rattling off some address that obviously meant nothing to the teen in the back of the car. Apparently, it was to a rental car place where Kou had already made a reservation, the brunet signing some papers with the fake ID that Tosaki had given him. Kei had a similar one of his own.

 It didn’t take much time and the pair were on the road again with Kou at the wheel while Kei had nothing else to do but look out the window at the passing mountains and snow covered rice fields or play with the radio. When it landed on a classical station the brunet smirked as Kei quickly tried to change it to something else.

 Finding a station that was tolerable for both of them was more difficult than one would imagine, but when they finally did Kei let himself spend the rest of the time staring out into the landscape. While his expression showed that he was still annoyed he was also fascinated as he looked out at the winter wonderland.

 Kei didn’t grow up around any areas that had big open spaces like this or had enough snow to warrant any kind of winter sport. He could easily see Kou skiing or snowboarding, flinging white powder as he sped down the mountains and wove between other people.

 Kei wasn’t athletically inclined, sure he managed to dodge, run, and fight the police and Sato, but sports weren’t his thing. He’d probably slide down the mountain on his ass if he tried that.

  “Alright! We’re just starting to get into town!” Kou’s excited shout made Kei jump, eyes searching for a sign to tell him where they had ended up. There was still snow everywhere and it seemed like a decent sized town they were starting to roll into. Squinting as he read one sign aloud, “Tokamachi?”

 He’d heard the name before, so it had to be famous for something. For the life of him he couldn’t remember though, was it for a food, event, or a building like a temple or shrine? Then again Kou didn’t seem like the kind of person that would drag someone across the country to see a shrine or temple, no matter how elegant or important to history it was.

 Still he digressed, he’d just have to wait for a clu… and what the fuck was that thing?!

 As the car pulled to a stop at the intersection Kei found himself leaning forward, curious about the shining white display before him. It was huge, probably half the size of a small house and almost as tall as a one whole story.  As the sun peeked from the clouds he was able to take in even more details of the apparent sculpture. Around the base coiled the form of a phoenix, feathers of which were curling towards the sky. One the right side looked to be the form of a man attempting to move a boulder.  Rising from the center of the piece was a feminine face and form dressed in a traditional kimono made of the same material the rest of the sculpture… snow.

 Another ‘stone’ sat in the backdrop and was wrapped with an incredibly realistic shimenawa, complete with the traditional white strips of paper that hung from the braided ‘rope’, all made of the frozen substance. It looked like a scene from a fairytale.

 Squinting his eyes, Kei could read the small sign beside the work of art, “Amaterasu Phoenix”. There was also a number and the name of the group that had apparently created the sculpture on the sign. It was a retelling of a classic Japanese legend about the goddess of the sun, but through the most unique medium. Maybe it was the fact that it was so pointless seeming to Kei that made him so fascinated. For someone, or a group, to put so much work into something that would disappear as soon as the air started to warm.

 Then again, Japan was obsessed with the idea of ‘fleeting’ being the most tragically beautiful. It was true for cherry blossoms as well, they bloomed and stuck around for only three weeks at the most and then the petals would fall, their beauty fading as they rotted on the ground and were swept up into trash cans if they were on the street or sidewalk.

 As murky red eyes caught some people walking down the sidewalk, all of them gesturing wildly at the sculpture and with wide grins on their faces. Kei couldn’t help but think that human lives too, were just as fleeting. Snuffed out in a moment. They didn’t get extra lives like an ajin.

 Still as sardonic as Kei’s outlook was, he had to admit, both the sculpture and blossoms were beautiful.

 http://hyrulehalfbreed.tumblr.com/post/157902437650/amaterasu-phoenix-tokamachi-snow-festival-2017

Glancing to the side, the dark-haired ajin was met with a wide grin from Kou as he asked, voice teasing as he obviously was enjoying the open expression of awe the usually stoic teenager had, “It’s so cool, right?! This is just the tip of the iceberg too!”

 If Kou wasn’t driving, Kei would have probably smacked him for the pun as the light turned green.

 As they continued into the town the streets were lined with pink and red banners, all of which read, Tokamachi Snow Festival. Finally, everything was starting to click together, news reports and articles he had seen in many magazines came back to the forefront of his mind. Tokamachi located in the southwest region of the Niigata prefecture, was home to the second largest snow festival in Japan. The largest being the one in Sapporo. It was known as one of the best kept secrets from foreigners and Japanese alike, whom would flock to the island of Hokkaido instead of staying on the main land.

 The main difference between the Sapporo and Tokamachi festivals was the size of the crowds. Not to say that this one wasn’t going to be crowded, after all, almost all places in Japan were packed with throngs of people.

 So… they were here to see the annual snow festival. That was the surprise…. But why the hell did it have to be a surprise!?

 “You couldn’t have just told me were we coming here?”

 Kou chuckled softly as he answered, “I mean, that kind of takes the fun out of things, ya know? Mystery making the journey more exciting, babe.” Also, he really wanted to see the other’s face when he was greeted with a sight he had never seen before or been expecting. It was another present to the lighter-haired ajin to himself. To see his lover enjoy himself, despite how he tried to play it off.

  “I think you mean frustrating.” Kei griped back, only getting a shrug from Kou as he turned the car into a parking lot. It was still early afternoon so there didn’t seem to be too many people around yet. If they had arrived any later, parking would have been a hell of a lot more difficult… and expensive if they had been forced to use a paid lot.

 Kou urged his companion out of the car, bringing only one small side bag between them that held whatever Kou shoved inside and their wallets. The rest was left in the vehicle.

 “Come on, we got to head to the station first and we can pick up a map of where all of the sculptures are and a list of the event schedule.” Kou’s tone was excited, linking arms with Kei despite the other’s protest. After a few attempts at shaking the taller ajin off, Kei finally gave up as Kou interlaced their gloved fingers.

 Kou was stubborn if he wanted to hold Kei’s hand, he was going to hold onto it, even if he had to regrow it courtesy of a certain ‘murder mummy’. At least way out here, no one knew who they were. It shouldn’t bother Kei, it really shouldn’t. A relationship regardless of who it was with, was something that you were supposed to feel nothing but love and pride about. However, in Japan with same sex couples being a minority and still looked upon with scorn by many of the older generation… it was difficult.

 Of course, Kou was bold enough to not care and would even shove his bi-sexuality into people’s faces, Kei was more withdrawn about it. His mother’s lessons about keeping a good outward, respectable image had left their mark on him. Along with his personality, ‘people-ing’ wasn’t something that Kei was good at.

 For Kou, though, Kei would try. Falling in step beside the other as they made their way through the downtown area covered in old brick and cobblestone. Smaller snowmen and more sloppy sculptures sat outside of shops, probably made by the storeowners or their families in an attempt to draw in business and to be a part of the local festivities. There were many columns made of snow, a small hollow made into the side of each that held an unlit candle.

 Just imagining what the downtown area must look like at night, lined with soft glowing pillars was an enchanting image to Kei.

 As they continued to move down the streets Kei noticed something, Kou wasn’t using his phone for directions and there weren’t any signs pointing them in any direction. Though it wasn’t exactly hard to find the train station, Kei could only draw one conclusion, “You’ve been to this festival many times, haven’t you?”

 “Yeah, my parents and I used to come here every year up until we moved away from Niigata. It was something I looked forward to every year, they always make new sculptures and a lot of them get modeled off of whatever is popular in the media at the time so it’s always amazing. There’s also always ones that are made to look like legends or more traditional so older people can enjoy them.” His voice was filled with fondness, even though Kei caught those lips twitching down for a moment once more before returning to a natural smile.

 This time, Kei didn’t say anything, just tightened his grip on the brunet’s hand as he was led forward. It seemed to be enough as Kou squeezed back, steps quickening slightly as he pointed towards where the station sat. Already there was a large group milling about the area, still it was nothing compared to the crowds of Tokyo that they were both now used to dealing with in their work under Tosaki.

 Kei stood back, letting Kou do the dirty work of sliding between bodies to get to the event’s main stall, a few minutes later they were in possession of a map and two VIP tickets to get into the front section of the apparent concert and firework show that would be happening in the evening.

 Kou’s eager grin was infectious as he linked hands once more with his boyfriend and urged them towards the next sculpture, which was right next to the station. It was, amazingly, of Donkey Kong the character towering over the crowd and hands sculpted into a fist that if you stood behind, it looked like he was holding you, King Kong style. Kou demanded a picture exactly like that, the athletic boy being over dramatic in his pose, while when it was Kei’s turn the dark-haired boy just stared blankly at the camera. The mask obscuring his face making the stoic expression rather hilarious.

 A tunnel went through Donkey Kong’s mouth and after shuffling carefully through it, the backside of the sculpture greeted them. But it was themed with a completely different game. Pokemon.

 The digital creatures were numerous as they sat on top of or appeared out of the smooth sides of the sculpture. Kou babbled excitedly as he named each and every pokemon, almost clapping his hands like a child as he pointed out how there was a pokemon from each generation, both past and present.

 To Kei it just sounded like a lot of word vomit, he had never been into video games and while he recognized and knew the names of some of the famous pokemon, the rest just went over his head. Seriously, a Waba-what?

 http://hyrulehalfbreed.tumblr.com/post/157902585155/tokamachi-snow-festival-2017

There was another sculpture to the side, it was of a classic Japanese train coming out of a tunnel, thing is, the ‘mountain’ that it was coming out of was actually this huge fat creature Kou called a Snorlax. They discovered another tunnel inside of one foot of the beast that revealed a chilly hollow with shelves carved into it that held large bottles. One sniff of the air revealed it to be a place where many were enjoying the free saké the event was serving.

Their trek began again after another photo op, Kou leading the way, keeping hold of the map in one hand and Kei’s hand in the other. Of course, people stared at the odd duo, but no one approached or said anything, at least nothing that they could hear that is.

 They passed by a giant teddy bear, Snoopy’s dog house with the character sleeping on top of it, some more Pokémon, and a few other sculptures of mascot characters before finally ending up in a soccer field of some high school that had been turned into an improvised, outdoor food court.  

 http://hyrulehalfbreed.tumblr.com/post/157902642180/tokamachi-snow-festival-2017

The smell of classic festival food wafted through the air along with the happy chatter of visitors and families. The workers shouting out their wares whenever someone passed by or made eye contact. It was noisy, but in a good way.

 Different from the noise of people screaming for their lives, the pops from guns, and booms of explosions that had rocked through Japan during Sato’s reign of terror. While Kei had never been one for so much excitement, he found himself relaxing as Kou tugged him past the stalls, wanting to look at them all before deciding what would be their lunch.

 Yakisoba, okonomiyaki, takoyaki, chocolate covered bananas, fried chicken, fish, and squid were the common fare of most festivals, but this one catered to the cold season and local traditions as well with ramen, udon, oden, and mochi being offered. Along with some local restaurants having stalls and offering mini versions of their menus, hell one place was selling tiny pizzas apparently made in the Chicago-style… whatever that meant.

 There was one stall that made Kou gasp, surging forward and dragging Kei with him to a stall selling something called poppo-yaki. To the shorter ajin, they looked far from appetizing, short brown log looking things that were as long as Kei’s hand. They were floppy, but didn’t rip when picked up. Kou proceeded to buy twenty of them, speaking happily, and almost flirtingly with the old women that ran the stall as he explained how happy he was that they were selling what was apparently more of a spring and summer season food. Kei watched as the women included six more of the sticks for free as they giggled and winked at the two boys.

 Shuffling away, Kou ripped open the bag that had been so carefully wrapped and stuffed one of the sticks in his mouth, practically moaning as his eyes closed in bliss.

 Instead of answering Kei’s inquiries, Kou shoved the still steaming snack towards him, deciding to let the food talk for itself. The other ajin rolled his eyes but took one of the pieces anyway, pulling down his mask so he could take a bite. It was just slightly sweet and the texture was springy, it reminded Kei of a thick pancake.

 Only when Kei found his fingertips brushing his own lips did he realize that he had already devoured one stick. These things… they were addictive, and so they were dangerous as Kou had two of the sticks hanging out of his mouth.

 Once Kou’s mouth and airways were clear the ‘green-collar’ ajin explained, “They’re special to the Niigata area, made from flour, brown sugar and water. Usually they only sell them during warm festivals, I’m shocked they had them! They’re best eaten fresh, they don’t keep well at all. If a convenience store tries to sell them pre-made and packaged it’s basically seen as blasphemy.”

 “I’m surprised you know the meaning of that word.”

 “Oh, shut up!” Kou snipped back, shoving another poppo-yaki into his mouth and letting Kei steal some for himself. While they were delicious, the pastries weren’t exactly filling and they started to search the stalls once more for something that would sustain them in the cold. Snow crunching under their boots as they did two rounds to help make their decision. Kou would be the one to go buy the food while Kei would guard their spots at the picnic tables where other people were gathered.

 Kei really shouldn’t have been surprised by the mountain of food that Kou brought back with him and stacked the containers in their little corner. A glance around the other groups and Kei found many people had done the same, maybe it wasn’t just a Kou-thing, but a Niigata-thing.

 They started with two small bowls of udon, with a light flavor and feeling as homey as any chicken noodle soup, then came the karage the Japanese version of fried chicken, the breading was crispy and crunchy as each piece had been fried in oil twice. Some ridiculously long French fries and pieces of deep dish pizza finished their gorge. All the hot food sitting inside of him made Kei sleepy and Kou’s breaths came out as puffs of steam as they sat for a few short minutes to rest and digest before Kou urged Kei to get back to his feet… a difficult task in its own right.

 They continued on their journey, seeing one sculpture modeled off of the golden pavilion in Kyoto, another that showed a scene from a Buddhist tale. Both gave off this peaceful aura and it felt like a literal frozen piece of history was before them. There was one sculpture that was just plain terrifying in Kei’s opinion though.

 It was of a towering piece that was modeled after the man that performed the ‘Pen, Pineapple, Apple Pen’ song, they even crafted glasses to sit on the man’s nose. Still it was rather impressive the accuracy of it, and it was obvious that the rest of the crowd loved the humor this sculpture held. There was even a stereo playing the accursed song in the background.

Which prompted Kou to do an imitation of the infamous dance, prompting laughter from some of the adults and cheers from some of the little kids that joined the ‘big kid’. Kei wanted to die of embarrassment, why did he have to be in love with such a…. precious dork. A smile was on the intellect’s face, comforted by the fact that no one could see it because of the mask on his face. Yeah, it wasn’t so bad to be stuck with Kou, not when he could drag amusement so easily out of Kei.

 http://hyrulehalfbreed.tumblr.com/post/157902772140/tokamachi-snow-festival-2017

More often than not, just following the flow of people led them better than the maps did to where some of the sculptures were hiding, behind buildings and at the end of dead-end streets. That was how they found their way to what both ajin would later agree to be the best piece of art the festival had to offer.

 “That is… the coolest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life,” Kou’s voice was dripping with awe as he took in the sculpture before him. When stomping up the staircase made of snow, the visitor didn’t have a clue as to what awaited them. But it was only from that higher vantage point that one could see the wondrous piece.

 First thing you noticed was the European style cobblestone walls that were created from blocks of snow, then the busted-out area of them, scattered just on the other side of the rope that kept visitors out of the exhibit. Then the huge clawed paw that stood as tall as Kou. The creature that the paw was attached to took the breath away from both teenagers.

 It was a dragon, huge and muscular with wings creeping out of its back and a face that looked closer to that of a lion. Its maw was gaping wide showing off pearly white snowy teeth and even a tongue had been crafted for it. Lines and grooves carefully carved into the beast to make it look like it had the perfect mixture of fur and scales. The piece was named the ‘Go-GiDo-‘ but neither of them knew if it was from anything. It was impressive nonetheless.

 http://hyrulehalfbreed.tumblr.com/post/157429311255/tokamachi-snow-festival-in-niigata-prefecture

They saw a few more sculptures, but as the sun started to set Kou checked his watch more and more often, “We need to start heading to the show area, the VIP tickets get us to the front section, but it’ll still be crowded as hell.”

 “Okay, well how far of a walk is it from here?” There was that guilty, nervous look that Kou had on his face that made Kei’s brows pinch together, already knowing whatever the other was going to say next was going to probably truly test how much control Kei had on his IBM and emotions.

 “Ya see… The thing is…” Kou shuffled his feet, seeming to be debating if they should stay in a crowded place or to duck into some alleyway. Problem was, the brunet didn’t have any spare clothes on him and walking around covered in blood would be an issue for sure. “It’s kind of on top of a mountain.”

 “I hate you so much right now, I hope you know that.”

  “Yeah, I do, now come on, it’s not going to be THAT bad,” Kou answered, trying to appease his boyfriend as he tugged them onwards, it was a basically a steep and winding slope up the mountain so at least there weren’t going to be icy stairs or the like that they would have to navigate. Kou linked their arms together though to make sure that Kei wouldn’t slip, the taller ajin far more used to maneuvering on the thick blanket of snow that covered all the roads.

  Food stalls and little souvenir stalls were even up here as they called for customers to take a closer look and good luck on their journey up the mountain. Kou spotted another poppo-yaki stall and left Kei to look at a trinket stall while he went to go feed his apparent addiction. There were some more elegant carved wooden keychains and some refined looking postcard sets that Kei decided to buy to give to his family and the people back on base. He chose a pair of ugly tanuki keychains that he planned to give Tosaki and Ogura.

 Pulling out his wallet, Kei was reminded of the fact that he didn’t know where the thick stack of bills stuffed inside came from. Flicking his fingers through the sheets of paper as he counted, the ajin caught sight of a small memo stuck between a 1,000 and 5,000-yen bill. The handwriting said that it was from Tosaki and read, ‘buy him something nice’.

 What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was ‘him’ supposed to be Kou or someone else? Why would Kei need to get anything for the dumbass anyway? He frowned, glaring at the piece of paper like if he looked long enough it would tell him what he wanted. Of course, that didn’t happen. If he had his phone he could just text the pale haired researcher and demand an explanation. However, Kou was still holding his phone hostage.

 In any case, Kei didn’t see anything at this stand that Kou would particularly like so he just paid for the other trinkets and left. Being greeted by a grinning Kou holding another large package of steaming poppo-yaki as soon as he left the tent.

 Snacking definitely helped to make the walk more bearable. It gave the body something else to focus on rather than the discomfort of the muscles of one’s thighs and calves screaming from the harsh exercise and unfamiliar flexing to deal with the angle of the slope.

 There were also more sculptures that dotted the path up the mountain to entertain and motivate the visitors onwards. An older couple and child walked a little ahead of the pair of ajin. The obvious mother and father each having a hold on one of the child’s hands and whenever the toddler started to slow down, obviously getting tired from the climb the pair would work as a team to lift the boy up and swing him gently forward getting squeals of excitement and joy as the child demanded to do it again, forgetting his tiredness for several more meters.

 http://hyrulehalfbreed.tumblr.com/post/157902845800/tokamachi-snow-festival-2017

The sight was almost sickeningly sweet and Kei turned his head to voice those exact thoughts, ready to get rebuffed by his lover. But the words died on his lips as he saw the pained expression on Kou’s face, his murky red eyes watching the young family with such longing that the dark-haired ajin felt some squeezing pain in his own chest.

 Kei looked away, turning his gaze to the ground they treaded. It was painful for the brunet, that was obvious. But Kei, he just had to know what was going through his thick skull and what had happened in Kou’s past. For once it was Kei that felt like he had a monster ready to attack him if he made the wrong move, he didn’t want to hurt Kou… at least not in this way.

 “Kou… What happened to you and your family?” He remembered how Kou experienced his first death, dehydration after he couldn’t move because of a broken spine he received after falling from a stack of magazines while trying to change a lightbulb. Kou had died simply because no one was there to help him.

 Kei watched as the other ajin’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, but still his eyes didn’t leave the carefree trio in front of him. A soft breath whistled through Kou’s teeth before he started to speak, “My parents didn’t start out bad. They were just normal people, we were a normal family. They loved their lives here where you can actually see nature every day and mountains in the distance, they loved each other, and they loved me.”

 A small strained smile crossed Kou’s face, the wound that he had thought to be scarred over long ago, still ached from time to time it would seem. Funny how as an ajin all physical evidence of a wound would heal, but in Kou’s experience he had yet to meet an ajin that didn’t have their soul cracked in some way. "But... things change ya know? People change, not always for the better."

 Last year Kei would have argued the point that people couldn’t change, ajin or human alike. Now though, he knew better, so he kept his mouth shut and let Kou continue at his own pace.

 “My dad got a job transfer into Tokyo, neither of my parents had ever lived in a big city like that so they were excited. I was around ten when we moved, old enough to understand what was happening to my family. My mom was originally supposed to stay at home and not work so she could take care or the house and me. But that didn’t last long, there were so many tempting things out in the city. I was old enough to stay home alone for the most part so she usually just left me there while she went out.”

 His shoulders slumped and Kei gave a comforting squeeze to his hand, “I was trying to be a big kid, prove I didn’t need to be babysat. Mom always made sure to be home before dad got back from work. Then they would go out together and be gone until the early morning.”

 “Of course, this didn’t happen all at once, it took three years to get to the point where I would go without seeing either of them for days or even weeks,” a soft sigh escaped Kou as he watched the father ahead of them put the little boy on his shoulders, “I think they pretty much forgot I existed for the most part, there’s a lot of ‘what if’s’ that haunt me. What if I had stood up to them, what if I tried to speak to another family member, what if I knew that I should have gone to the police or something.”

 “In the end, the past is in the past… I can’t say the city is like a toxin, but they didn’t know how to handle it, didn’t grow up with the need to hold back.” As Kou finished Kei’s brows pinched together, rage bubbled inside of him at the childhood that had been robbed from his lover, a boy far too sweet to be simply cast aside, “You shouldn’t justify their actions.”

 “I’m not!” The defense was given instantly from Kou as he finally looked towards Kei, the pained creased line on his forehead had eased and in turn made the dark-haired ajin’s chest loosen just slightly, “I’m just saying my parents were shit at adjusting and so was I. However, if things didn’t happen the way they did, I might never have found out I was an ajin.”

 Catching Kei’s look Kou knew what he was about to say and beat him to it, “And no, it wouldn’t have been better if I hadn’t found out. Living a ‘normal’ life would have been boring and it kind of changed me for the better I think.”

  There was no arguing with Kou, not when he believed in something with such conviction and honestly Kei found that he couldn’t completely find fault in the taller teen’s reasoning. Though it was mostly for his own selfish reasons.

 Trying to imagine how things would have turned out if the two ajin hadn’t crossed paths, if he didn’t have Kou constantly pushing Kei past his comfort zones, and finally providing a foil to his own character, the cold boy knew things might have turned out a lot worse.

 Maybe not just for them, but for the whole world as Kou was one of the people that helped to drag Kei into the fight, rather than fleeing and saving himself.

  His fingers curled tighter around the hand in his own, no, Kei was quite happy to have Kou all for himself now. He didn’t have to worry about the brunet having a disapproving family either. Then again, he did have to deal with Tosaki acting as Kou’s guardian. Still it wasn’t like the human disapproved of the relationship, he just got annoyed by the PDA that Kei sometimes did on purpose to get under the man’s skin when he was feeling like a little shit.

 Of course, Kou never caught onto why Kei would suddenly get affectionate, after all, he had no reason to complain when the usually cold boy did!

 “They’re still assholes,” Kei finally grumbled, getting a laugh from Kou as the other ajin didn’t disagree.

 Finally, they had made it to the summit of the mountain, Kei’s legs felt a little like jelly, but he was dragged on as Kou flashed their passes to one of the guards and they were shuffled closer to the section closest to the stage.

 There was still a crowd, but at least they had some elbow room between them and the other people. It was a big mix of people from all walks of life. There were couples with and without children of all ages, and women and men dressed in traditional kimonos. How they managed to walk up the mountain in geta Kei hadn’t the slightest clue. Then… you had those crazy diehard idol fans.

 Kei was silently glad they had chosen a side that was lacking in those people.

 Not that Kei was paying much attention to the people, not when there was something so spectacular before him. The towering stage, it was made completely out of snow. It was all one huge sculpture with a pre-modern castle façade and a staggering staircase that ran down the center and out of the castle to the main platform. It was elegant, and simply incredible.

 http://hyrulehalfbreed.tumblr.com/post/157903018250/tokamachi-snow-festival-snow-stage

The boring introductions played their part before the first performance started, a pop idol group that was called NGT48, Niigata prefecture’s own version of the famous group AKB48. Their songs were cheery and their dances cute, but it really wasn’t Kei’s cup of tea, while Kou looked completely enamored by the group. Still his arm that wrapped around his lover’s waist never loosened its hold.

 A few other singers performed of varying fame, and then some boyband group, none of them were bad. As each performance marched on, the darker it got and the lights were used to paint splashes of color and different designs on the white surface of the snow castle to pulse and swell with the music.

  The next act got a few confused murmurs and snickers from many of the audience as a large, rotund man took the stage, decked out in a grand, sweeping red and black outfit that glittered in the stage lights. It was too over the top and when it was announced he was an opera singer Kei saw many of the people his age around them grimace. Obviously, all were bracing for the worst.

 However, as the music started, the most enchanting falsetto voice escaped the man’s lips and the entire crowd fell silent. There was no jeering now, no, everyone was just listening. He didn’t just sing in Japanese, Italian also rolled out of his lips. Producing rolling r’s that were almost impossible for most Japanese to reproduce. But this man was able to do just that. One of the songs he performed was a battle ballad. The stage being flooded with red lights and the booms of the drums could be felt in the bones. Halfway through it started to snow, adding more to the power this man was able to produce.

 When his segment finally grew to a close the applause started, Kei didn’t doubt for a second that the opera singer was the one that received the loudest cheers. Glancing to the side the dark haired ajin blanched as he demanded, “Kou, are you fucking crying?”

 “N-No, I just got a snowflake in my eye! …He was really good.”

 Well, there was no denying that, but now Kei was wondering if he should invest in researching opera music and where they could see it live in Japan. It’d be a good way to return the favor of this trip. Also, it might be something that even hard-ass Tosaki might like… Or he could hate it, either or. It didn’t really matter to Kei.

 The air was growing more frigid as the snow continued to lightly fall across the crowd and drift along the stage to add to the ethereal atmosphere. Kou pulled the shorter ajin against his chest, chin resting on top of the head of dark hair as Kei leaned back against him, with so many layers of fabric between them, the closeness didn’t exactly make them any warmer. But it was nice nonetheless.

 The final performance began, the idol group came back out to perform one last song with a group of local elementary school students as background dancers. It was kind of endearing as some kids looked like they were having the time of their life, while others looked scared shitless or had faces pinched in concentration to perform each of the moves.

 Kei wondered what the chances were that one of those kids might also be an ajin. Unware or aware of their immortal state.

 Still those girls must have been freezing their asses off in those miniskirts and dancing on a literal block of ice.

 The closing ceremony began and Kou started to shift anxiously behind Kei as he murmured, “Come on, wrap it up already and start the fireworks. I don’t care about your pre-scripted banter and pride in traditions shit.”

 Now Kou was starting to sound like Tosaki, it was kind of frightening.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFlC3EvYTAA (not my video but good quality shot of the finale and the music that was used)

Before Kei could comment the countdown began, Kou almost screaming in the dark-haired teen’s ear as he joined the call. As the time reached zero, the line of cascading fireworks that laid far above the stage were set off, creating what looked like a waterfall of golden sparks to rain down towards the stage, from the speakers traditional Japanese music swelled and danced with the flashes of light as more fireworks shot off into the sky.

 “It’s beautiful.” Kei was surprised by the fact that the words came from his own lips.

 “Yeah,” Kou hummed to himself, his voice so soft that Kei’s ears had to strain to hear it over the chatter of the people around them, ooh-ing and ah-ing with the booms and cracks of the explosions of color dancing across the dark sky, “This is definitely the best birthday present I could have asked for.”

 Wait… What!?

 Well now Kei felt like an asshole, or at least more so than usual. It was Kou’s birthday and he didn’t even realize it! He had also been horrible towards him during some points of the day, had made the other talk about painful memories of his past. Fuck, he was such a dick, the words came tumbling out of his mouth without his permission, he pushed slightly away from the brunet so he could turn and face him.

  “I’m sorry.”

 “Huh? What for?” Kou’s eyes flickered away from the sky back to his boyfriend, head cocked to the side as he didn’t know why Kei suddenly looked so guilty.

 “For everything, being grumpy this morning, dissing on your home, making you talk about… them,” No, Kei didn’t think that those people had the right to be called parents. They might have been good people at one point in their lives, but to let greed and change in environment make them abandon their son. A being they gave life to and were responsible for, left completely alone in the world. It made anger swell inside him like a wave, his mother might not have been the greatest person either, but she still looked out for him in her own way.

 A thumb brushing against the skin of his cheek that was exposed above the mask brought his attention back to Kou, a warm smile and gaze directed at him.

 “Oh, babe, the past in in the past. Yeah, my parents are pieces of shit and did horrible things. But in the end, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve discovered I do have self-worth, it does matter if I come home or not. I have things I want to do and see with people that I now count as family.  I have Izumi, Tosaki, Ogura, and most importantly you.”

  He pulled the mask down once more to place a soft kiss to Kei’s lips, “Besides, the memories I made with you today have been some of the best.”

 Colors danced on the edge of Kei’s vision before he let his eyes close and returned the kiss, yeah, this memory was one of the best for Kei too. He would find the perfect gift for Kou in return on this stupid mountain. Something that represented only the good memories of the brunet’s childhood home.

 Snowflakes stuck to their hair as Kou drew away to watch the finale of strobe light-like fireworks danced above them.

 Maybe being out in the cold wasn’t so abysmal after all.

Welp, there you have it, hope you enjoyed it, tell me what you think!