#and stick to it and continue to like it as im going

[grayyxv]

Phaidei AU; celeb! phainon and nerd! mydei (kinda)

phainon is a famous actor who decided to attend okehema university to research for an upcoming role. in contrast, mydei was just an ordinary student. he had no clue who the hell phainon was and why everyone was going crazy over him.

mydei doesnt have social media or whatever. he doesnt keep up with latest movies or trends. he also isnt the most sociable person. he isnt in any clubs so in his free time, he spends he is at home working out, cooking, playing with his cat, ect. at school, he sits quietly at the back of the lecture hall or spends his time in the library. a true honorary student.

he doesnt like to stand out at all. he knows his looks (being 6ft 3 & muscular) is bound to get him attention or eyes lookomg his way. so he dresses in loose clothing, wears glasses and ties his hair. some girls do find him attractive still but they'd never talk to him because the permanent scowl on his face that seemed to scare off anybody.

when phainon first arrives, he is in a disguise. a bad one, but a disguise nonetheless. of course, some students were able to tell who he was right away. of course, there was no way he could go around school with a bodyguard as he wanted the most authentic university experience. hence, the school assigned him a guide, mydei.

when the principal told him that he was going to have some new student trailing him, mydei was indifferent. he wondered why him of all people? surely there must be someone more suited for this role. sure, he was an honor student but he barely socalized and had like 1 friend (hyacine). he accepted it anyways because it wasnt like he had anything better to do.

the day of their meeting finally arrives. phainon was expecting his guide to be a fangirl of some sort or a nerd. but instead, a man with the most gorgeous face walks into the room and phainon's jaw drops. mydei, though he had ditched his glasses today, was just dressed in his usual attire: an oversized sweater and some jeans. but phainon could tell that the man was jacked as hell. on the other hand, phainon was expecting some kind of reaction from mydei. especially when the principal said that mydei was going to stick with phainon for a year but mydei just nodded. thinking it was because of his disguise (it was just a pair of glasses), phainon stuck his hand out and introduced himself.

"Hi! I'm Phainon, as you may have heard i'm an actor researching for an upcoming role. I'll be in your care for the year. Lets get along~"

Phainon enthusiastically stuck his hand out to shake Mydei's hand. Mydei remained completely unfazed but took Phainon's hand anyways.

"Sure. I'm Mydeimos."

phainon wasn't one to boast about being famous and whatnot but he wondered if mydei really didn't know who he was or knew what he was about to deal with. however, he wasnt going to question him. instead, phainkn awkwardly chuckled and quickly released mydei's hand.

It was going to be one hell of a year.

-

other random notes;

hyacine is the only one who managed to befriend mydei. she was determined to be his friend though he looked really scary. they met in school once & talked about cats. then she invited him out to go to a cat expo where mydei adopted his own calico cat, meowy. (hyacine calls him meowdei)

she has a really fat cat named little ica that mydei affectionally calls 'fat fuck'.

-

fic idea i had that i wrote on my twitter. i expanded on it a little. i may or may not continue with this... ive some good ideas but im not that great at writing 😭

kinda inspired by tom holland researching on his role for spiderman LMAO

also, my x/twt is @/aschxv if anyone wants to yap about phaidei/hpmi/anything !!

[syluses]

there was another wave of caleb drama on the bird app the other day about him not wanting to be ur gege at all which was lowkey super dumb bc its not true but now its making me think of an au where mc and caleb don't grow up together and meet as adults but caleb's still delusional and crazy enough to want to have that type of dynamic... like just irrationally mad that he isn't the one who raised u LMAO i always saw him as the type to just want to be your everything not Just a brother not Just a lover... it tickles my brain.. love and obsession so all-encompassing that he has to be everything in ur life

..Oh brother 😒 no pun intended. I agree with u tho nonnie 💯 Bro needs to be her everything, & if he isnt he feels worthless.

Prepare thyselfs

Alright, yall already know by know that im a big gege truther- however im perfectly fine with the people who wanna see caleb as the ‘childhood friend’- which the anglicized version essentially goes off on. Now i do believe those individuals dont see all of caleb’s unique little nuances- just because so much of them stem from the brotherly role he was ‘forced’ to fill for mc all throughout childhood- and i think they fail to recognize the paramount correlation it has to their ‘forbidden’ romance (which both he & mc ACKNOWLEDGE in the story; but ig they’re just whiting out the bits they dont wanna hear) but im not gonna flame ppl if they wanna see bro as the friends to lovers trope.

i dont agree with it, but its more or less okay with me bc i understand lots of ppl are icked out by the pseudo trope (reasonable) yet still want to appreciate xia yizhou in their own way— even if ignoring the original intention inevitably brings a certain distance to that for the lack of comprehension over his, well, ahem GEGEISM™️

The way some of them wanna DENY the asian/original canon tho is pretty insane ngl. Like homie u can still enjoy ur own (english localized) idea of caleb- but to try to erase the obvious gege/meimei implications of the chinese version is funny only because its just that stupid. Again im definitely not one of the ppl who’ll yell and shame others for not fucking with the gege vibes, but cmon… its pretty obvious that is in the canon.

And now im yapping at this point but as to whether or not caleb WANTS to be mc’s brother figure? ..Honestly i feel like that is complicated in itself, and i think the answer will vary from person to person. But for me i think its both a yes and a no. He definitely acts as her brother, thinks as her brother, regards himself as her brother. And the self awareness is absolutely there for him- as in he knows its wrong to romantically pine for mc because he truly does- in his own way- naturally see mc as his meimei as well, even if he tries to separate himself from it the more his yearning grows. I think calebs emotions revolving this are super complex. I can barely even put it into words.

He wants the full right, if u will, that the gege title grants him over her— the closeness, the responsibility, the bond— but it ultimately gets in the way when he stares at her in admiration for a little too long or leans a little too much into the fantasy of pretend girlfriend and boyfriend. Growing up, whenever he humored her and they played house, he never had to feign the part of ‘husband’ bc he already carried all that love with him. In a way, a lil piece of him kind of blames mc for ‘asserting’ the gege role on him, but he’s still just as guilty bc he happily gave in to it all throughout their growing up. He liked it, even, in those moments he could almost forget his own pathetic desires.

I truly do believe that caleb feels regretful over the brotherly role he operated under for just about all his life… But i also truly believe that he would have it no other way— the smallest idea of anybody else assuming that spot in her life makes him furious. Because again, he wants to take care of her, he wants to protect her, to bandage her scraped knees and hush away her tears, to cook breakfast lunch and dinner for her and have almost as much of a say in her life as gran does. (…past tense.) He wants the proximity, the domestic life with her, the casual closeness and again, the slight dominion the ‘brother’ role gives him over her.

Lets not forget that in all of this, for all his cheerful, reassuring smiles and easy quipping comments, that there’s a little worm in the back of caleb’s head that wants ultimate control over his meimei. and yes, even just in calling her his ‘meimei’— or her running face first into his strong arms bc she knows, as family, he’ll always have her back— some of that control is given. Its so hard to articulate this pls kill me. But i hope u know what i mean.

At the end of the day, for all his reservations about it- and the actual blame he lowkey tries to put on mc for it- Caleb does and always wanted to be her gege.

Because if he was never her gege, he’d be nothing. His responsibility over his meimei— his sister, his friend, his closest confidant and hopefully, one day, his wife— is frankly all that gives him purpose.

And yeah maybe he is a little crazy because of it... But he knows she loves him too, deep down. He knows her better than anybody else, after all. The same can be said about his love for her: nobody in this world could ever hold even a fraction of all that Caleb both internally & physically shoulders for her.

It’s as much of an ugly curse as it is a beautiful gift.

Duality my friends, duality

[introspectivememories]

tiktok hunger games fans are like the fucking worst. half of them are so desperate to let people know that there's a Message to the book and that they understood the Morals and Themes and Messages of the book that cant look past book canon or have some fun and the other half is making ocs and slapping katniss and peeta's name on them while making the most outlandish conspiracy theories. you cant fucking do anything on there

[hanzajesthanza]

man what is this

[birb--birb]

Soooooo I did lich emmrich...for science..

AND IM SORRY I DONT LIKE IT HOW IS IT MORE COMON THAN SAVING MANFRED??????????

[stemmmm]

hey you wanna make a game thats so cool. youre using godot? then you'll need to write your code in GDscript! that's like Python, so look up some lessons for that. maybe look into some JavaScript while you're at it. and if you're making a game, why not make a website for it! just takes a little HTML and CSS. oh by the way, that game, you realized you need shaders to do something? awesome, awesome, well you'll need to use GLSL to make those, that's a type of openGL which is kind of like C. by the way this is trigonometry

[craigseyeliner]

I read your tags on the favorite blorbo post and honestly this is the first time I've seen anyone mention 6th grade leader in the wild. May I ask what you love about him? Cuz I love him too, he's determined and tough but still very much a snotty nosed kid in a lot of ways

Gosh dude I've been a fan of him and his friends since I was like, 8. I'm sure I loved them for some other silly reason back then but currently he's just funny. Accurate to his age group back in the day so there's a dorky nostalgic feel to episodes where he has proper roles as someone from a tiny rural town. I also think there's something funny about the 6th graders being a scary force and all in the porno episode and games just for them to be like... I can't think of another word(long work day) but like, lame. LOL. And I don't mean it in a bad way! There's just something so amusing about how 'scary' they are when the main 4 are straight up killing people and the like every other episode. The 6th grade leader still having his shirt with his face on it in Post COVID got me, though he doesn't look like he had a great time imo

But really it's just that he's a funny kid, I guess. The shirt, full dedication to seeing boobs(the entire chase for the porno and straight up kidnapping Cartman once they're out of the hospital in Trent's episode is SO funny), him and the others doing their fake motorcycle noises, his totally sick dance moves in FBW the other just couldn't handle(replaying like a month ago and heading Usher's name was like walking into a wall), etc etc. He's just a brat. He's always been fun to draw, too, which is an easy plus for me personally òvó9

I lost my train of thought and this is mostly a ramble now but he's funny! And not very bright! I know the games are hit or miss on being considered canon but I'd love a brother reveal 💔 There haven't been any prominent Asian characters from his time and I'm nosy.

Some of it also comes from an AU my brother and I made for fun a while back where 6th grade leader(senior), Michael(junior), Mike(junior), Butters(sophomore), Sarah Collins(sophomore), and a couple others work together at Burger King under Rick and the shenanigans of that have been funny. Working fast food brings people together in some interesting ways. Good and bad pfft

[911-wassup-bby]

.

[taegularities]

just thinking thoughts

[dullahandyke]

'if youre looking to be secure, MFA is best' shut up + dont speak to me again + rot in hell + fuck you + fuck you again + let me turn it off or i crush you and your family with my psychic powers.

[saccharine-pink-lemonade]

being a writer has me googling some wacky wild things

[jrueships]

here's what i could find on the situation ..

[cantdanceflynn]

To go all out and rant about the trailer and my excitement N stuff or wait until we have more stuff that doesn't have weight behind it...... Genuinely crazy hard decision

[13eyond13]

wait your beatles era is over? it was so fun eventhough i follow for death note content it just made my day seeing you enjoying something so much! :]

Awww no well it's not OVER over, as in I still really like them and will retain everything I learned about them during the last 3 or 4 months and still follow a lil handful of my fave Beatles blogs on here. It's just over as in I don't feel the need to fill my dash with literally hundreds of Beatles blogs or finish reading every giant biographer's tome I started reading about them anymore or wtv. And obvs you can always chat to me about them and still see me occasionally post about them! But thank you for saying so anyways haha

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

I've been thinking about him for some time already (YOU KNOW WHO...) and I think. he's just Like That ™. the gentleman killer. Haskillcore boring old man stuff enjoyer that spends weekends reading newspapers and philosophy books. looks down on people that lack manners. DOES want to serve for the best of his abilities and be appreciated. But ALSO I get the vibes... that he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard.

HEAR ME OUT... It was just a joke at first but his fiasco with messing the most basic spell and being thrown out of the train..... I feel like he, in fact, can be incompetent wizard and that can fuck him up SO BADLY... like inferiority complex... I can imagine him being young & dreaming of becoming a great wizard & failing painfully. So now he compensates it with self-taught magic and dark arts (his necromancy interest). “dark magic is just misunderstood, not evil"...

I also get vibes from him of being bullied? I would take away his lunch yk. And now he allows people to walk over him and it's not just a job thing he's just like that. Until the moment he snaps. And murder may be the way for him to feel being in-control, which he usually lacks. Feel like he hass power. He doesn't feel nor act like purple guy jeff the killer (he's too old for that) but. Sometimes he thinks “It would be nice to kill someone right now. I also need cash. Hmm.” and that's now it happens. Maybe he feels alive when he does that, but it's only in-moment feeling that doesn't stay. I feel like he's pretty sensitive and can say when he feels bad(offended) or good(proud), but doesn't really have emotional intelligence? The feelings are there, what to do with them? who knows. not him. he goes out on the streets at night. depreesion)

I think he knows a lot about magic and artifacts (found out about the relic by private investigation or smth) but he can't use that intformation himself! what a shame! I get the vibes that he can be almost . cursed . to be a bad wizard. he's probably not but it just feels that way. so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!

I rotate him in my mind he's so interesting what is wrong with him . . .

NODS VIGOROUSLY ALONG WITH YOUR POINTS im sitting here taking notes for my fic fr!! i actually hit on a lot of the same conclusions you did which makes me so happy, but one of the main differences was i thought he might actually be a good wizard, BUT i think your reading that he's ACTUALLY just a shitty wizard is more interesting character-wise....

like you said "he knows a lot about magic and artifacts but he can't use that intformation himself" <- YESSS. i think the exact way that he's shitty is that he definitely has the theoretical knowledge, but he can't apply it for shit. <3 like at the end of rockport limited he clearly knew the flame spell he was going to use, he just... fucking misses by a country mile LMFAO, even the meat monsters seem a little cobbled-together, like he knows the the theory but there's little finesse in the execution.

"he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard." <- OK BC THIS BASIS IS SO GOOD. hes got so much ambition but no talent, and that informs everything about him!! - it's my headcanon that he grew up lower-middle class, and i think combining that with being bullied and being bad at magic contributed to an inferiority complex. and he likes refined things precisely because he likes the image of himself as this powerful refined (rich) person when he's really just grasping at it desperately :)))

aaand i think the dark arts provide shortcuts to power for the price of sacrificing another living thing, SO FOR JENKINS, who was a shitty wizard and an asshole who's totally willing to sacrifice people for power, it suited him perfectly :)))))))

not to mention all the points u brought up abt why he kills are so good. i think it's firstly a practicality thing (he needs the money, like u said), but then secondarily an outlet for his anger (he's a bit emotionally unintelligent like u also said lol). i think he learned how to deal with this simmering hatred in the exact wrong way, where he bottles it up during the day when ppl push him around and then lets it out during his murders. instead of yknow... learning to not let ppl push him around, and manage his anger and deal with it less destructively SDFLSDFKJ. and it became a cycle. so now he's a serial murderer cos he's into this repress-release pattern, someone get this man into therapy or get him a boyfriend who can fix him !!

AND... okok final point bc its getting a bit long. "so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!" <- YES. perhaps even. he is not cut out to be a wizard..... he clearly has ambition, and good taste, and a flair for the dramatic, and mental problems, which means. of course. he is perfectly suited for the theater--//SHOT

[phagodyke]

I slept rly deeply last night even tho it took me a while to get to sleep but I think that was bc I had acid reflux and I'd been playing videogames too late not anything else.... still only got 6 hrs but doing pretty okay all things considered 😚