#and the idea of never going home because home doesn't exist for solas anymore but kirkwall does for varric

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Y'know I had a theory about Varric before the reveal.

Because even from the beginning, him getting stabbed with the dagger specifically... was weird. I kept thinking about the dagger still glowing while lodged in his chest, how that dagger was used for Solas' big ol' ritual so there had to be a lot of power in it when he stabbed him... but somehow Varric survived.

That should've killed him [and it did! but shhhh-] but I wake up, and there he is.

Alright. He's fine, he's recovering. He's older now, he can't just bounce back from a stab to the chest like that, and I guess his leg got messed up given he's wearing a brace. Okay, this is how we're setting up Rook as in charge. Fine.

At first I was really good about checking on him just to hear his bits of dialogue, whether it be about the companions or about how he wishes he could get moving.

Something about it felt very... off. Very weird. I kept trying to figure out how the hell he survived getting stabbed like that, with the dagger, and then falling the way he did... and I started to wonder if maybe the fade saved him... that maybe the fade and the lighthouse were the only things keeping him alive.

Once that thought hit me, I was like.... oh fuck, is that going to be the reveal? Is he going to have a little exclamation point on his icon at some point? Is he going to ask to go somewhere because he's feeling better and he could use some fresh air? Maybe go out for a drink? And when we leave the fade, is he going to collapse like he's been stabbed all over again?

Are we going to learn that Varric's trapped?

Is the big reveal going to be that Varric can never go home? That he can never go back to Kirkwall? That Solas fucking doomed him to this... this purgatory state where he can't go home but can't move forward, not really? Because he's trapped in the lighthouse forever unless he chooses to die?

Are my choices going to ultimately affect his fate?

But then I started to forget about Varric... because he didn't do much. More time went on. The plot thickened. I became preoccupied with my companions. Sometimes he'd jumpscare me by being at meetings. I checked on him less and less.

I started to dread that oh.... alright, well maybe they brought Varric back because he's a fan favorite and they didn't actually have much planned for him after he got hurt.... but something's still fucking weird.

And I was right, something was indeed weird because then I got the reveal in the regret prison and I was............ Unwell.

I'm still unwell.

But I guess the fact that he can't ever go back home remains true, so...