#and the way vandermeer writes??? this cold

[chronal-anomaly]

im finally reading annihilation

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #70 – Absolution by Jeff Vandermeer

New additions to a series a decade after it concluded don’t have a particularly good track record at living up to the quality of the originals – far too often they just read as commentaries on the series’ fanbase or pop culture reception, and that’s if they escape being a transparent case of giving the fans slop for a quick paycheck. This is even more the case when the originals are a tightly interconnected trilogy with an extremely definitive conclusion.

All to say, I received the news that Jeff Vandermeer was writing a new Southern Reach book with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Excitement, because Annihilation might actually be one of my favorite works of the 21st century and the whole trilogy holds a deeply and irrationally precious space in my heart. Trepidation because – well everything I just said. Thankfully, this was far more good than bad – not Annihilation, and it didn’t need to be basically as long as the entire original trilogy combined, but absolutely met my expectations of beautifully described cosmic and psychological horror and indecipherable mindfucks in gorgeously uncanny locales.

The book’s a hard one to describe – the plot is twisting and opaque, the narrators thoroughly unreliable – but it’s (not exactly but nearly) a prequel to the original Southern Reach Trilogy, following first events in the Forgotten Coast in the lead-up to the Border falling, and then the very first expedition sent across it into the newly-named Area X in the months after. Though it’s really divided into three-ish parts rather than two – first we get a vivid picture of Old Jim (our first POV) recovering from his life collapsing into a gutter and researching the confused and redacted records of a very Cold War CIA science experiment on the Coast years prior and how it all went horribly wrong, before journeying to the Coast himself in the weeks and days before it becomes Area X to try and discover what happened. Exactly one character from this section also shows up on page in part 3, though the neither the reader nor the new POV is aware of her continuity until quite late in the game. Which is funny, given that despite neither protagonist ever really understanding her, Cass has the most complete character arc of anyone in the whole book.

This is a book very concerned with language and perception – how you can’t trust them, how they can control you, how the right words whispered in your ear can shatter everything you ever were. Language is a parasite that needs a host; the song stuck in your head reinforces the compulsions you don’t even realize you’re obeying. The theme runs thick through the entire book, and shows up more ways than I can count. I did particularly like how it’s specifically the beautiful things – the poetry, music and cryptic little koans, the fields of wildflowers and the awe-inspiring autumn storm – that are the dangers, that might entrap and break you. Even the protagonists’ internal monologues shift as their minds become more and more captured by whatever motive force drives Area X, their descriptions and use of imagery more elevated and poetic as they get further from whatever humanity is.

Not that Area X is the sole source of identity-rupturing and mind-stealing horror, here. Old Jim and Lowry are both agents of Central, the opaque intelligence agency that control the Southern Reach in the original trilogy. Both have been broken and remade by it, their minds stuffed to bursting with hypnotic conditioning and trigger words in case they ever get distracted or prove to be unreliable. Not that anyone seems clear on who they would even be reliable to – the whole agency is addicted to secrecy, its internal factions feuding and sabotaging each other in the shadows, the chain of command a complete mystery to anyone not sitting at the top of it. Just like Area X, it’s never even close to clear whether the things encountered are the outwards signs of some grand and intricate conspiracy, or just the random flailing of a blind idiot god.

Vandermeer has at this point made a very specific aesthetic of horror almost his brand, and it shows up here in spades – the uncanny intersection and overlap of nature and civilization, overgrown ruins and artificial facsimiles or animals, the overwhelming of ordered systems and bureaucratic rationality with the bizarre and inexplicable, the usurpation of body, mind and world by something foreign to it. This is a book whose acknowledgements section is at least half different specific sorts of ecologist or similar experts being thanks for things like ‘detailed information on how a gar would feel in the hands like a rifle,’ and ‘how it would feel to have an alligator gush through the mud around you if you were lying mud-bound in a blackened meadow.’ Which I always find just incredibly endearing (along with the acknowledgement for an idea as being from a literary critique essay of the themes in the original trilogy – which is getting a bit incestuous, but it was a good bit of imagery.)

As always, some parts of this is going to work much better than others – the rabbits with the odd cameras around their necks, placidly digging for and eating crab meat while a flamethrower is unloading on them particularly stuck with me, whereas given the sheer wordcount spent on it I don’t think the Tyrant (or any of the alligators tbh) had nearly the effect on me the book hoped they would.

Overall though, it worked. Vandermeer’s prose is laid on more than a little thick at points, but there are several different bits of imagery or turns of phrase that have stuck with me – that feel downright inspirational to try and make something that can achieve the same effect, even. I do feel like the impact of Area X is weakened by the fact the total absence of really normal seeming people – even before the border falls, we only barely meet a single person not already captured in the whole labyrinth of conspiracies, hypnotism and psychosis – but that is in fact kind of a plot point here, so.

As far as recommendations go – this book is totally incomprehensible if you haven’t read the original trilogy. Also not as good as Annihilation. Go read that and then decide if you want to continue – but the series remains one of the leading examples of 21st century cosmic horror that’s trying to be something besides a riff on Lovecraft.

[embossross]

2024 in books: fiction edition

literary fiction published 2014-2024

Nefando by Monica Ojeda (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐) - book of the year but warning it is the most triggering book i've ever read. i sobbed and could barely function for a full day. it's so painful. csa tw

Hurricane Season by Fernanda Melchor (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Tentacle by Rita Indiana (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Toño the Infallible by Evelio Rosero (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

The Maniac by Benjamin Labatut (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

If an Egyptian Cannot Speak English by Noor Naga (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Outline by Rachel Cusk (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

La Bastarda by Trifonia Melibea Obono (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Scattered All Over the Earth by Yoko Tawada (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Afterparties by Anthony Veasna So (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

A Passage North by Anuk Arudpragasam (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders (⭐⭐⭐⭐) - rating this was the biggest challenge of the year because the highs are extraordinary but the lows are miserable. i literally hated it while reading it but then returned to it more than almost any other book this year.

black moses by alain mabanckou (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

crooked plow by itamar vieira junior (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

behold the dreamers by imbolo mbue (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

the north water by ian mcguire (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

dr. no by percival everett (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

birth canal by dias novita wuri (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

transcendent kingdom by yaa gyasi (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

my year of rest and relaxation by ottessa moshfegh (⭐⭐⭐)

the gospel according to the new world by maryse condé (⭐⭐⭐)

manhattan beach by jennifer egan (⭐⭐⭐)

the archive of alternate endings by lindsey drager (⭐⭐⭐)

the inheritance games by jennifer lynn barnes

(⭐⭐⭐)

the aunt who wouldn't die by shirshendu mukhopadhyay (⭐⭐⭐)

deacon king kong by james mcbride (⭐⭐⭐)

four minutes by nataliya deleva (⭐⭐⭐)

blood red gy gabriela ponce padilla (⭐⭐⭐)

boulder by eva baltasar (⭐⭐⭐) - i appear to be the only person not dazzled by this book and feel left out of the party, but i just don't get it.

burnt sugar by avni doshi (⭐⭐)

you glow in the dark by liliana colanzi (⭐⭐)

the pisces by melissa broder (⭐⭐)

our wives under the sea by julia armfield (⭐⭐) - another beloved sapphic book that left me bored out of my mind. the writing about bodies felt very 2018 tumblr (non-complimentary)

the touch system by alejandara costamagna (⭐) - just pointless. one star is probably harsh though.

divided island by daniela tarazona (⭐) - i will admit i might be too dumb for this book

fiebre tropical by juli delgado lopera (⭐)

a door behind a door by yelena moskovich (⭐) - and the razzie goes to...!

literary fiction published 1971-2013

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Kassandra and the Wolf by Margarita Karapanou (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolaño (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Ahab's Wife, or the Star-Gazer by Sena Jeter Naslund (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

In a Free State by V.S. Naipaul (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

If on a Winter's Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

My Tender Matador (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Happiness As Such by Natalia Ginzburg (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

All the Lovers in the Night by Mieko Kawakami (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

The Transmigration of Bodies by Yuri Herrera (⭐⭐⭐⭐) - the way he nails how people would react to the covid pandemic 7 years early is wild in an otherwise pulpy mob thriller

shalash the iraqi (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

the disaster tourist by yun ko-eun (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

mother to mother by sindiwe magona (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

the route of ice and salt by josé luis zárate (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

pussy, king of the pirates by kathy acker (⭐⭐⭐)

awake by harald voetmann (⭐⭐⭐)

the raven king by nora sakavic (⭐⭐⭐)

touch by adania shibli (⭐⭐⭐)

cold nights of childhood by tezer ozlu (⭐⭐⭐)

the foxhole court by nora sakavic (⭐⭐⭐)

akhenaten: dweller in truth by naguib mahfouz (⭐⭐⭐)

the rooftop by fernanda trías (⭐⭐⭐)

tell them of battles, kings and elephants by mathias enard (⭐⭐)

sea of lentils by antonio rojo benitez (⭐)

literary fiction published start of time-1970

The Ice Palace by Tarjei Vesaas (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Masks by Fumiko Enchi (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Girl Upon Heaven's Pier by Eeva-Liisa Manner (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Final Exam by Julio Cortázar (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Two Novels: J and Seventeen by Kenzaburö Ōe (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐) - J is an easy 5 star but Seventeen is more of a mixed bag

The Member of the Wedding by Carson McCullers (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

night on the galactic railroad and other stores from ihatov by kenji miyazawa (⭐⭐⭐)

the wild geese by Ōgai mori (⭐⭐⭐)

the phantom of the opera (⭐⭐⭐) - despised this while reading but my god did it leave an impression. the phantom swimming around with his reed just lying in wait makes me burst out laughing once a quarter "do you choose the GRASSHOPPER, Christine???" he's so stupid

madame bovary by gustave flaubert (⭐⭐⭐)

orlando by virgnia woolf (⭐⭐⭐)

mr. president by miguel ángel asturias (⭐⭐)

four stories by h.p. lovecraft (⭐) - the racist stench is just emanating off these stories and they're boring too for good measure

the mysterious correspondent: new stories by marcel proust (⭐)

[mikuchan]

🦴 (is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?)

I really love Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. I first read it when I was ~13 and it just blew my mind. Her deft character work tangling so deeply and meaningfully with the atmosphere were and are huge inspirations for me.

I also really love Jeff Vandermeer's Annihilation. His descriptions of nature are gorgeous, and I love how unapologetically unsympathetic the Biologist is.

The Life and Death of the Wicked Lady Skelton by Magdalen King-Hall is another favorite, but it's an inspiration in kind of a weird way. Apparently it was crazy popular in the 1940s, it had a box office hit movie adaptation, etc. And now it's like, just another random old novel with less than 50 Goodreads ratings. Whenever I get too worried about like, the marketability of my writing, will people like it, am I a good writer at all, all that kind of thing, it's nice to think about Ms King-Hall and the unpredictability of it all. Reception, markets, audience... idk. I hope she enjoyed writing about Lady Skelton. It's a really good book, anyway. Cold noble woman becomes a highwayman, robs people, kills her lover, dies herself, haunts all her descendants. Good stuff.

[nablah]

tag meme for posting your favorite 9 books read in 2023 (thanks for tagging me @searchingforserendipity25 ! i love your books!!)

tagging @allofthehousethatstood @respectablecapers @sklogw @elfilibusterismo and anyone else who would like to (i'm so sorry, i don't often read for pleasure and don't keep track of who does on here either)

Alcestis, by Euripides - it is worse and better than gluck's opera. it's at least worth reading to see how gluck betters/bastardizes the original play lol

Pierre Curie, by Marie Curie - what if we were both scientists. and. we got married. and i died. would you write my biography and publish it after you had a scandal with my student and detail everything about my life. would anyone love me like that. i would learn polish for you

The Emperor of All Maladies, by Siddhartha Mukherjee - @/weepingwitches: "like just because something exists now, people can only conceive the violence of its removal and not the violence required to create and sustain it" this applies to both cancer and colonialism in this book

Bahay ni Marta, ni Ricky Lee - ang galing niya magsulat, pero halata na mas pang-teatro ang narrative style ni Sir Ricky. you know everything that will happen, but as the listener and as the audience, you have no choice but to live with how this house was constructed.

Madame Curie, by Eve Curie - yearly reread, always great, always strange.

The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle - had a hard time understanding this but wept over the ending. i might forget it in 30 years but it'll stay with me

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë - biannual reread, always great. like cold soup while the house is burning

Children of the Ash-Colored Loam, by N.V.M. Gonzalez - i first read Gonzalez (illegally, school non-sanctioned) by way of The Bamboo Dancers hidden at the back of our library. His writing just sticks in your head

Annihilation, by Jeff Vandermeer - encapsulates how it feels learning basic math and physics and understanding it after never getting it all your life. this is how it feels to be a scientist in the Philippines

special mention to Gasiorowicsz's Quantum Mechanics, which I'm now just understanding

tag meme for posting your favorite 9 books read in 2023

Thank you @meadowlarkx! I'm loving getting to know everyone's book recs from last year.

Tagging with no pressure @sallysavestheday, @mayfriend, @theghostinthemargins, @thalion71, @247reader, @melestasflight, @nablah, @camille-lachenille, @m-b-w, and anyone who'd like to share their recs!

I took the liberty of writing a little about every book under the cut, because it is 22:30 and I am passionate about these books.

Lavinia, Ursula le Guin. It's le Guin, do I have to say it? I really have, because the depths of study on ancient animism in the Italian countryside is extraordinarily well researched, and even aside from the ambitious narrative approach of Lavinia speaking with Aeneas, the study that went into it is one of the most respectful and involving approaches to ancient spirituality I have read.

The Fury is Silvina Ocampo's recently translated short-story compilation! Whole-heartedly recommend any of her short works, which I understand are published with different titles. Reading anything of hers feels like the pervasive grey silence of staying awake till four a.m. as you consider all the familiar people and strangers you have known and reconcile with the strain of incurable isolation and cruelty present in human nature. Life, Silvina tells you, is sharpened and not redeemed by the possibility of understanding. You are not safe from Silvina Ocampo's studies in unsettling mundanity; no one, Silvina warns, is ever safe within themselves. But at least Buenos Aires is very beautiful, and so are all her deliciously malicious women.

The Fée et Tendres Automates (Béatrice Tillier-Téby) graphic book series starts with this book, about Jam, a young man who is not so young, surviving in a dystopic Victorian society while trying to reunite with the sentient mannequin he's in love with...it is moving, it is bold, it has class warfare and magic and a mad scientist, it is gorgeously written and illustrated.

I read The Blue Castle (L. M. Montgomery). Loved the Blue Castle. 'A book about being in your twenties' is a bad summary, but technically not wrong?

I wavered on putting on Claúdia Andrade's short-story collection 'Quarter Finals and Other Stories', because it's not translated, but it was my favourite book of the year, in many ways! An incisive and imaginative writer with a delightfully chilly grasp on human nature. I find myself thinking about the scenes she invokes several times a week. For instance, I think all dying old women should be cursed to speak the truth of every secret they ever knew.

Lords and Ladies was a lot of fun! Also reread Wyrd Sisters. Every years Granny Ogg grows hotter wait who said that.

The Fox (D. H. Lawrence) is about cottage-core lesbians, but like, detestable cottage-core lesbians in post-war England. It's terrific psychological work - I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. The last paragraphs haunts me. Will never trust seaweed metaphors again.

The Painter of Birds (Lídia Jorge) is translated. I recommend it. I recommend it a normal amount. I might be lobbying Lídia Jorge for a Nobel, idk. In all seriousness - she is an absolute powerhouse with a career of profound, invasive, masterful works, she's got most Portuguese language and French awards, do get a Nobel while she's still kicking. God!! This book!!!!

What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours (Helen Oyeyemi) is like nothing else. Ruiz Zábron married Angela Carter and then had an affair with Olga Tokarczuk? But it's queer and it's not white and unapologetic about being undefinable speculative fiction. Still chewing on it. Wonderful, wonderful, terrific.

[rotworld]

Any author/writing recs? I love your stories, and was looking for more reading material

it's that time again...time for me to get really excited about books lol

->annihilation by jeff vandermeer: you might be familiar with this one because of the movie that came out a few years ago, but they're extremely different and the book is worth reading whether or not you've seen it. a team of specialized scientists embarks on an expedition into "area x," a bizarre place where the laws of nature are bent in unexpected and dangerous ways. it's a first person narrative from the perspective of the group's biologist, who tries to document the inexplicable and horrifying things that happen to her and her team. it's an eerie, up close and personal sci-fi horror that i highly recommend.

->zoo by otsuichi: a short story collection by one of my favorite horror authors, this was my introduction to his work. as with any collection of short stories, some of them stand out much more than others, but i think they're all incredibly strong and a nice mix of both intense, visceral horror and more restrained psychological horror. i really like otsuichi's strange worlds and twisted characters. he writes a lot about trauma and psychological distress, so some of them can be difficult reads at times. the ones that really stuck with me are the title story "zoo," "the white house in the cold forest," and "so-far" (so-far is really heartwrenching though, fair warning.)

->embassytown by china mieville: maybe my new favorite book of all time, and i'm not even finished with it yet. in a strange and distant future, the planet arieka is home to the native ariekei and a human colony, with a fragile peace existing between the two vastly different species. the ariekei have a language unlike any other, and avice, a human born in embassytown, discovers its strangeness firsthand when she is made into a living simile in the language. it's hard to explain the rest of the plot without getting really wordy and into details that are better delivered by reading it, but i can't stress enough how weird and wonderful this book is. i majored in linguistics and my most intense, ridiculous self-indulgent fantasy is that someday aliens will visit earth and someone will put me on the team that gets to figure out how to talk to them LMFAO so this book feels like it was made for me, in a monkey's paw sort of way. it's unique, thoughtful and haunting. i have a lot of interest in conlangs and this made me consider things i'd never thought about before. i recommend reading it slowly.

[cristobalrios]

Rios + Daddy Issues

Riker: "You were worried about them." Picard: "I was." Riker: "So, what are they like, this new crew of yours?" Picard: "Well, I would have to say they are decidedly motley. There’s been a lot of drama since we left Earth orbit, and I’ve been told it’s continuing since I saw them last. They… They seem to be carrying more baggage than all of you ever did. But then, I’m not one to talk." Baggage under the cut

Recap of Cris's "Baggage": What seems like a regular first contact. Head of Starfleet Security, Commodore Oh, calls. Sends a "Black Flag Directive" to Captain Alonzo Vandermeer to kill the ambassador Beautiful Flower and his protege Jana from this first contact or they will blow up the ship with all everyone still on board. Vandermeer does as ordered. He needs Cris's help to cover it up. Cris gets mad at him for killing them, thinks what Vandermeer did was "cold blooded murder." Vandermeer kills himself. Rios is left there alone to clean up the mess because Starfleet Security still has an active threat to blow up the ship if he doesn't. Beams Jana and Beautiful Flower's bodies out into space. Covers his tracks. Gets the ship safely back to Federation space with no more casualties. Gets discharged from Starfleet for "Post Traumatic Dysphoria." Ten years later, goes on a mission with Jean-Luc Picard. Finds out that Commodore Oh is a spy with the Romulan's Tal Shiar and Zhat Vash that infiltrated Starfleet, and that Jana and Beautiful Flower were synths. Helps save all organic life in the galaxy. Gets reinstated into Starfleet and it promoted to captain, first command is of the latest version of the Stargazer, namesake is the ship that was Picard's first command, which comes with baggage of its own, as pointed out by Jurati:

Recap of The Stargazer's "Baggage":

Incident 1: Captain (and word of god says first officer as well) killed, Picard takes over. Incident 2: Jack Crusher is killed (novels say he was first officer but that was never said on the show). Incident 3: Ship is destroyed in the Battle of Maxia (when Picard invented the Picard Maneuver), Picard gets court martialed for the loss of the ship. Retired: The ship is retired until this new version of the Stargazer. Incident 4: Approximately a year after this new Stargazer's commission, it gets (supposedly) blown up from Self-Destruct (initiated by Picard) after a seemingly new type of Borg and Borg Queen try to assimilate it and the rest of the fleet around it using the Borg technology built into the new ship developed from The Artifact.

I could write a lot about how Picard's journey last season and Cris's were mirrored, as well as Raffi's: Starfleet betrayed them, Starfleet abandoned them, and they spent the next decade or so hiding from their problems instead of facing them. Raffi in her hovel, getting lost in drugs, alcohol and conspiracies, cut off from her family. Picard in his Chateau, filling time making his wine and writing about the past, not having contact with those who were close to him (aside from Laris and Zhaban), and Rios hiding out in space, cutting off regular contact with anyone but Raffi, and short contact with his clients, running cargo and occasionally people around, surrounding himself with nothing but holograms that look like himself, reading depressing philosophy just as Picard is reading and writing about depressing history.

"I know who you are," Rios says. "I read one of your books one time." Not Picard, the great man. Not Picard, the legend. Not the grand, heroic captain. Picard, the recluse. Picard, the screw up. Picard, the authority figure who let his people down. Cris's faith in Vandermeer was shattered, his faith in Starfleet was shattered, and he sees through Picard. He knows he's not who he once was. It's their "Tragic sense of life." But Vandermeer did what he could, tried to do the right thing, and made a mistake. So did Picard. So did Rios. Vandermeer's way of escaping was fatal. But Picard isn't Vandermeer. Picard is Rios. And they both retreated inside of themselves.

But Picard sees Rios too. He sees through his veneer because he also sees himself. "You are Starfleet, to the core," Picard insists. "I can smell it on you." I know you too, Picard tells him. And he's not fooled either. Because Rios never let his faith go even though it was broken. It was torn to pieces but he still clung to it. It was everywhere on him from the way he maintains his ship to the way he carries himself when he thinks no one is looking to the way he follows orders. Starfleet let people down, let itself down. So did Vandermeer. So did Picard, and so did Rios. But it's not too late for them. And it's not too late for Starfleet.

This season, Picard is once again stuck inside himself. Picard helped Rios find himself again. Picard restored his faith in Vandermeer, in Starfleet, and in himself. But Picard still has so much baggage to work through and he's still running away from it. Rios sees him struggling, and he knows Picard isn't aware enough to see the full impact he's had on people, he knows that especially right now Picard can't really see much further than his own nose. One-track mind, blocking out all else and doing his best to make sure his focus is not himself, but Rios is finally starting to heal and that is because of Picard, he owes a lot to him and Rios is fine with Picard not knowing the impact he's had on him. His real father was never around. He never told Vandermeer how he saw him, at least not in so many words, he's used to keeping it to himself. But he's still going to help the old man find himself anyway he can. So yes, he's loyal to him, and respects him. And no one told him to accept a command with baggage, but Cris could not have picked any other ship. He needed a ship with a history of tragedy to match his own or he wouldn't feel at home. He needed a second chance and so did she. He needed to carry on Picard's legacy.

[stonelions]

I just read 'Don't Swing That Way' and wanted to quickly anonymously yell at you that YOUR WRITING IS EXCELLENT. (Fangirl question: Who are some of your fave writers?)

aw hey thank you so much for reading it and yelling at me!!!!! warms my cold little seasonal affective disordered heart haha 💖💖💖

but that is actually a tough question! i feel like i tend to have favorite books more than favorite writers. (with the exception of ursula k le guin, please read ursula k le guin)

i am kind of omnivorous about books and will give just about anything a shot... these are some folks who have written books i really like, in no particular order: cormac mccarthy, jeff vandermeer, kurt vonnegut, n.k. jemisin, eden robinson, ann leckie, arundhati roy, marlon james, terry pratchett, and jane austen

[rockislandadultreads]

Short Story Collections: Horror edition

In the Shadow of Frankenstein: Tales of the Modern Prometheus by Stephen Jones, Neil Gaiman

Frankenstein... His very name conjures up images of plundered graves, secret laboratories, electrical experiments, and reviving the dead.

Within these pages, the maddest doctor of them all and his demented disciples once again delve into the Secrets of Life, as science fiction meets horror when the world's most famous creature lives again.

Here are collected together for the first time twenty-four electrifying tales of cursed creation that are guaranteed to spark your interest—with classics from the pulp magazines by Robert Bloch and Manly Wade Wellman, modern masterpieces from Ramsey Campbell, Dennis Etchison, Karl Edward Wagner, David J. Schow, and R. Chetwynd-Hayes, and new contributions from Graham Masterton, Basil Copper, John Brunner, Guy N. Smith, Kim Newman, Paul J. McAuley, Roberta Lannes, Michael Marshall Smith, Daniel Fox, Adrian Cole, Nancy Kilpatrick, Brian Mooney and Lisa Morton.

Plus, you're sure to get a charge from three complete novels: The Hound of Frankenstein by Peter Tremayne, The Dead End by David Case, and Mary W. Shelley's original masterpiece Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.

As an electrical storm rages overhead, the generators are charged up, and beneath the sheet a cold form awaits its miraculous rebirth. Now it's time to throw that switch and discover all that Man Was Never Meant to Know.

She Said Destroy by Nadia Bulkin

A dictator craves love--and horrifying sacrifice--from his subjects; a mother raised in a decaying warren fights to reclaim her stolen daughter; a ghost haunts a luxury hotel in a bloodstained land; a new babysitter uncovers a family curse; a final girl confronts a broken-winged monster... Word Horde presents the debut collection from critically-acclaimed Weird Fiction author Nadia Bulkin. Dreamlike, poignant, and unabashedly socio-political, She Said Destroy includes three stories nominated for the Shirley Jackson Award, four included in Year's Best anthologies, and one original tale, with an Introduction by Paul Tremblay.

His Hideous Heart by Dahlia Adler, Kendare Blake, Rin Chupeco, Lamar Giles, Tessa Gratton, Tiffany D. Jackson, Stephanie Kuehn, Amanda Lovelace, Marieke Nijkamp, Emily Lloyd-Jones, Hillary Monahan, Caleb Roehrig, Fran Wilde

Thirteen of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation.

Edgar Allan Poe may be a hundred and fifty years beyond this world, but the themes of his beloved works have much in common with modern young adult fiction. Whether the stories are familiar to readers or discovered for the first time, readers will revel in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tales, and how they’ve been brought to life in 13 unique and unforgettable ways.

The Doll-Master and Other Tales of Terror by Joyce Carol Oates

From one of our most important contemporary writers, The Doll-Master and Other Tales of Terror is a bold, haunting collection of six stories.

In the title story, a young boy becomes obsessed with his cousin’s doll after she tragically passes away from leukemia. As he grows older, he begins to collect “found dolls” from the surrounding neighborhoods and stores his treasures in the abandoned carriage house on his family's estate. But just what kind of dolls are they? In “Gun Accident,” a teenage girl is thrilled when her favorite teacher asks her to house-sit, even on short notice. But when an intruder forces his way into the house while the girl is there, the fate of more than one life is changed forever. In “Equatorial,” set in the exotic Galapagos, an affluent American wife experiences disorienting assaults upon her sense of who her charismatic husband really is, and what his plans may be for her.

In The Doll-Master and Other Tales of Terror, Joyce Carol Oates evokes the “fascination of the abomination” that is at the core of the most profound, the most unsettling, and the most memorable of dark mystery fiction.

Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

"I believe there is another man inside every man, a stranger..." writes Wilfred Leland James in the early pages of the riveting confession that makes up "1922." the first in this pitch-black quartet of mesmerizing tales from Stephen King. For James, that stranger is awakened when his wife, Arlette, proposes selling off the family homestead and moving to Omaha, setting in motion a gruesome train of murder and madness.

In "Big Driver," a cozy-mystery writer named Tess encounters the stranger along a back road in Massachusetts when she takes a shortcut home after a book-club engagement. Violated and left for dead, Tess plots a revenge that will bring her face-to-face with another stranger: the one inside herself.

"Fair Extension," the shortest of these tales, is perhaps the nastiest and certainly the funniest. Making a deal with the devil not only saves Dave Streeter from a fatal cancer but provides rich recompense for a lifetime of resentment.

When her husband of more than twenty years is away on one of his business trips, Darcy Anderson looks for batteries in the garage. Her toe knocks up against a box under a worktable and she discovers the stranger inside her husband. It's a horrifying discovery, rendered with bristling intensity, and it definitely ends a good marriage.

Like Different Seasons and Four Past Midnight, which generated such enduring films as The Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me, Full Dark, No Stars proves Stephen King a master of the long story form.

The Weird: A Compendium of Strange and Dark Stories by Jeff VanderMeer, Ann VanderMeer, George R.R. Martin, Bob Leman, Haruki Murakami, Mervyn Peake, Michael Chabon, Neil Gaiman, William Gibson, Franz Kafka, Stephen King, Kelly Link

From Lovecraft to Borges to Gaiman, a century of intrepid literary experimentation has created a corpus of dark and strange stories that transcend all known genre boundaries. Together these stories form The Weird, and its practitioners include some of the greatest names in twentieth and twenty-first century literature.

Exotic and esoteric, The Weird plunges you into dark domains and brings you face to face with surreal monstrosities. You won't find any elves or wizards here...but you will find the biggest, boldest, and downright most peculiar stories from the last hundred years bound together in the biggest Weird collection ever assembled. The Weird features 110 stories by an all-star cast, from literary legends to international bestsellers to Booker Prize winners: including William Gibson, George R. R. Martin, Stephen King, Angela Carter, Kelly Link, Franz Kafka, China Miéville, Clive Barker, Haruki Murakami, M. R. James, Neil Gaiman, Mervyn Peake, and Michael Chabon.

[morgan--reads]

2019 Honorable Mentions

These are books that didn’t make my top 10 list for the year but that I can’t get out of my head. 

The Soul of an Octopus - Sy Montgomery 

This book caused me to re-evaluate eating seafood and has forever changed the way I think about octopuses. Easy, emotional, and informative. 

The Weird - ed. Ann and Jeff VanderMeer

Because of the size and the varying quality of the stories, I find this a difficult sell. However, taking the time to marinate in the volume was one of my favorite reading experiences of the year and many of the stories continue to haunt me. 

The Winter Prince - Elizabeth Wein

I’m a sucker for Arthurian retellings and this one was powerfully original and compelling. Grounded in history and psychological realism, I wouldn’t call it a pleasant read, but it’s one that stuck with me. 

Grunt - Mary Roach

I bring this book up at parties all the time. It’s accessible, thoughtful, and relevant to anyone with an interest in the military, whether positive or negative. 

Fun Home - Alison Bechdel 

I live fairly far away from my parents and I don’t always feel adequate at maintaining a meaningful relationship with them. This memoir told me that, first, it could be worse and, second, that I can make it better. It’s a sad read, but not only sad. 

Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie

A weird, absolutely absorbing little book. The movie and play are such cultural touchstones but the book is much stranger and darker in tone than either. 

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz

YA still has some excellent writing to offer and this tender coming-of-age love story is a perfect example. 

Exit Stage Left: the Snagglepuss Chronicles - Mark Russell and Mike Feehan

Snagglepuss as legendary Southern playwright Tennessee Williams, played not as a joke but a serious consideration of Cold War era censorship and morality. It’s unforgettable not only because it’s so weird and audacious but also because it’s done so very well. 

[mautadite]

december book roundup

happy old year’s day! 13 books this month, and a grand total of 158 books this year! i did it! still feeling as surreal and proud as i did when i met my goal early in july. i’ve always loved reading, could never get enough of it, but the past few years have seen a significant decrease in the number of books i read for enjoyment, because of work, school, depression, obligations, blah blah... so i’m really glad i had such a productive year! AND that i managed to keep up these monthly updates, which i started on a whim back in february. it’s been a good deal of fun for me, and hopefully is something that i’ll keep up with in years to come.

anyway... books!

southern reach trilogy - jeff vandermeer  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ in my review of the second book for this series i said “i still don’t know what’s going on, but i’m having a good time”. and... yeah. i enjoyed this! i enjoyed the creepiness, the unsettling feeling that pervaded through the nature, the environmental horror (which is my fave new genre). the characters and setting were amazing. the writing was haunting. the plot was ?_?. i liked it very much.

minority report - philip k. dick  ⭐️⭐️⭐️ just read this to get background info on the movie and tv show, which i wanted to watch. it was neat.

santa daddy - keira andrews  ⭐️⭐️⭐️ tropey, substance-less romance novella. being a novella it went from 0 to 100 in fourteen minutes, but once you accept that as an inevitable side effect of a shorter work... this was okay. cute!

the woman in the window - a. j. finn ⭐️⭐️⭐️ further forays into reading the normie books that everyone else was reading this year. this was pretty good, pretty suspenseful, and i really liked the main character. but i figured out like two of the major twists way ahead of time, which was a bummer. i wanted to be mystified!!!!

christmas eve 1914 - charles olivier  ⭐️⭐️⭐️ christmas in wartime, wwi. pretty decently performed narrative. did not get as weirdly pro-war as i’d feared.

a christmas carol - charles dickens ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i realised that as many adaptations of this as i’ve seen, i’ve never actually read the book. so i did it! on christmas day! was good. there’s a gay milkman who fucks a cook’s brother somewhere in there, charles dickens said gay rights.

dragonoak: the complete history of kastelir ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED IT, CAN’T WAIT TO READ MORE OF THE SERIES. sated my hunger for fantasy, interesting worlds/world-building, lady knights, lady necromancers, lady monster people with horns, lesbians, and slow burn romance. 

compound a felony - elinor gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️ gotta love a good gay holmes pastiche. kinda wish this had more plot but it was a fun time.

affinity - sarah waters ⭐️⭐️⭐️ ooof. the first sarah waters book i’ve read that i did not adore. clearly every historical lesbian book can’t end in blissful happily ever afters, but this was so bleak and left me so cold and unsatisfied. maybe i would have liked it better if we were sure that selina was happy? but we don’t even have that. :/

i still remember - harper bliss ⭐️⭐️ confession: i only read this book because six hours before midnight, as i was reading the book below this, i realised that when i was done and was doing this post, two of the southern reach trilogy books would be on one line, and the last book on the other. so i looked for a short novelette that i’d already bought so i could read it quickly and push ‘acceptance’ down onto the next line lol. and i mean it was fine, cute friends to lovers after 20 years type deal.

a study in honour - claire o’dell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ as you can probably tell from how much i reread the books: I LOVE ACD HOLMES. so like, an adaptation where they’re both queer black women??? in a futuristic america ravaged by civil war??? elmo.gif. this was really good, amazing watson voice, great character moments, textual queerness, neat plot. other than one holmes character decision that made me ?_? i adored this and really want to read the rest of the series!

and that’s it for december, and 2018!!! it’s been grand. see you all next year for new goals and new books. yearly roundups to follow!!!! also i started writing this post before midnight and now it’s after midnight so: happy new year!! :)

[bermudianabroad]

Favourite Book: Moon Tiger- Penelope Lively Least Favourite: The Flea Palace – Elif Shafak 62% by women           38% by men 94% Fiction       4% Non-fiction       2% Poetry

  Finally getting around to a quick summary of the books I read back in 2018 (which already feels like a lifetime ago). 2018 was the year of feeling, briefly, like I had my finger on the pulse of literary things; I went to see the Golden Man Booker awards ceremony, I joined a bookclub, I hit my reading goals without shifting the goalposts this year. 62% of the books I read were by women- a vast improvement from a few years back when I noticed there was a discrepancy in my reading habits and I’ve essentially flipped the percentages from 2013/2014. Last year I think it was an even 50/50 split between men and women. Writing by women still only take up 35% of my whole Goodreads catalogue so there’s room to equalize still.

  23% of my books were translations and I’m still leaning towards Japanese writers. Polish made appearance, as did Icelandic, French, Cantonese, Korean, Italian and Spanish. I read far less in terms of non-fiction and far more kid books (which of course I’m counting). Poetry is still lagging behind- I just don’t gravitate towards it, but maybe this year will be different.

Having said that, whenever I make a bold pronouncement about reading challenges it seems to become more of a Declaration of Intent to Fail, so I’ll hold off on making any now… EXCEPT to say that I will retroactively declare what this year’s challenge will be once I’ve chronicled 2019’s books.  

Something I WOULD like to do is read more ancient texts- way way way old classics, bruh. I have my sights on the Poetic Edda and maybe the Odyssey. Now that I’ve mentioned them here I’ve doomed my chances but nevertheless. I’ll give it a go.

Moving on to a quick dissection, last year was the year of Margaret Atwood. I devoured her back catalogue. She was my most read author, followed by Ann Leckie and Jeff Vandermeer. I really thought I’d finish the Southern Reach Trilogy by December, but none of the three libraries I haunt ever have the final book in stock and I’m holding off buying it because I irrationally want to order the Spanish editions for their trippy covers.

So as much as I loved re-reading Vandermeer’s Annihilation, and discovering the delicacy and horror of The Strange Bird, Moon Tiger is the clear winner for 2018. It’s one of those books that creates a change in the air once you’ve read it. You go in and stay there even if you’ve finished reading. At least that’s how it was for me. It was exactly the thing I had been looking for when I picked it up and I know I’ll read it again in the future. Whether or not it retains the particular qualities that made such an impression on me can’t really be known, though I certainly hope it does.

Other standouts this year are: Without Blood by Alessandro Baricco which I’m expecting to see in cinemas one day; The River by Rumer Godden who joins Jeanette Winterson in the Hall of Authors I Judged Too Harshly; C. by Tom McCarthy for being weird and engaging and admirable for all the ways he describes noise; Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie for reminding me way I loved Space Opera as a genre. Delicate, Edible Birds by Lauren Groff is kind of the book of short stories I wanted to write, and What it Means When A Man Falls from The Sky by Lesley Nneka Arimah was page after page of surprises and dark delights.

On the other side of things, my surprise with Moon Tiger was balanced by my disappointment with The Flea Palace by Elif Shafak. I loved Three Daughters of Eve and seeing her speak was a highlight of 2017. I was an instant and dedicated Elif Fangirl. But I just could not slog through The Flea Palace. It was too…dense? Too distant? Too clever for its own good? None of those things have scared me away from books in the past, but this one left me cold. I didn’t care. Maybe it was all me, maybe reading on my commute didn’t give it the care and attention it deserved. Either way I put it down after only making it through some 200+ pages in 3 months.

Okay so that wasn’t a particularly quick rundown of things I read last year, but if you’ve come here looking for something new to read, I hope you come away with a few new ideas.

[academiablogs]

Writer’s Block and You: On Causes and How to Write On

If I were going to rank the writing-related questions from least to greatest, “how do I beat writer’s block?” probably falls quite high on the list, if not at number one. When I worked as a small publisher’s community manager, this question would show up at least twice a week- on forums, discussion posts, and Q&As with other published authors.  

The responses were varied and usually stale in quality: the same “take a walk, listen to fresh music, write something else”- and that’s not to say that these things can’t stop Writer’s Block, because they can for some people. But it’s often occurred to me that, for a question that gets asked so much, there are very few solid answers as to how you actually stop Writer’s Block. There is nothing more frustrating when you are applying all of the fixes and they just don’t work. Que the spiral of despair as you stare down that ever-blinking cursor.

But if Writer’s Block is an ailment, we shouldn’t be searching for the cure; we should find the cause. The same logic applies if you spike a fever; cause might say you have cold, but WebMD will convince you that you’re probably dying of gangrene.  

So, let’s talk about a few distinct types of Writer’s Block and what they do to the writing process.*

*(to me, personally. Full disclaimer here, because the most important thing to understand about Writer’s Block is how, just like writing habits, its causes are very unique to the author.)

Starting-Point Stage Fright: Usually right before or at the beginning of every novel. Symptoms include procrastination, excessive research, and lots of deleted opening paragraphs.

There’s a really great quote by Gene Wolfe, which goes, “You never learn how to write a novel ... you only learn to write the novel you're on.” This was said to Neil Gaiman (yeah, that Gaiman), who finally felt he had this novel thing down after writing American Gods.

I’m now three novels into my writing career, with two more on my plate for this year. Each one of them starts with the sensation of groping around a pitch-black room with only my rough outline and a half functional flashlight. There are things in this room that I want (and probably better batteries for my flashlight), but I need to get my bearings first. It usually takes me about 15,000 words to do this, and it’s easy to mistake this sensation for a “lack of inspiration.” I encourage you to bury the concept of inspiration somewhere deep for now. Inspiration isn’t magical fully-fleshed out concepts; inspiration is what we do when we find those fresh batteries and get a clearer picture of our space. “Press forward to those 15,000,” I remind myself. It always pays off and I always manage to find those batteries eventually, even if it takes a few tries.

 The Middle of Despair: 

Named so for its location, as the middle of books are notorious for being mind-numbingly hard to write. Symptoms will include plotting ending scenes you have not yet written, social media browsing, and crippling self-doubt. Welcome to the void of the writing process. You got this.

Not everyone has problems writing their novel’s middle, but it’s often noted as a rough part of first drafts and rewrites. We tend to come into stories with a general idea of the plot’s cause and effect: the beginning and middle, in more novel-related terms. It’s easy to get caught up in the sogginess of a middle and fall into a great deal of mood swing-y sadness. Writing must not be for you if you can’t even get through a simple section of the book.

But journeys aren’t about the destination, yes? And as Jeff VanderMeer says, when the reader enjoys an ending, they’re really saying they enjoyed the payoff to the well-structured middle of a novel. This quote helped me re-frame what middles were; the meat and potatoes of the story. Substance that keeps your reader around for the finale, rather than a sequence of events so you can get to the ending. Whenever I find myself trapped in the middle, I have to ask myself “how does this benefit the ending?” If it doesn’t, I cut and rework (even in a first draft, which something I would normally warn against). Listening to your gut about what isn’t working, and locating the strength in your middle, is usually one of the easiest ways to avoid its slog. Revisionary Roadblocks: Symptoms include starting new projects despite a lack of time, inelegant sobbing, and the return of that crippling self-doubt.

You might think, once you have finished your first draft, you would be free of the Writer’s Block and its troubling patterns. Revision and rewriting should be easy now that you’ve finished the book, right?

Ah, the innocence.

Some of the worst roadblocks I have encountered in writing show up in the process of fixing the first draft; the scenes to reframe, plotlines to tighten, characters to build upon. Revision is harder than hell, since so many issues can show up during revisions that you don’t expect. The point of editing books is digging deeper; you must unearth the layers beneath the top soil that is your first draft, and you will find things you don’t like, things you must throw away and rework into oblivion. There will be scenes that you adore and no longer apply to your current vision. Your story will never again be the project you started, and it will never be perfect, and you get to accept that in all its artistic ugliness.

I recently finished my editing on my first novel and am currently working on edits for the second. The act of pushing through your revision roadblocks- whatever they may be, is a matter of willpower, and moreover, about confidence. It requires trusting in your own abilities, recognizing your limits, and practicing over and over. It’s about being open to failure and critique, and learning from both for the future. These are all hard to stomach, and probably the reason most people don’t like editing. But revision separates the novice from the novelist, and humbling yourself to it is the best way forward. After all, we are often much stronger writers than we feel.

What’s your experience with Writer’s Block? Where do you get it during the writing process and how have you learned to address it?

[callunavulgari]

SCRAPBOOK 2017 - TAKE TWO

Scrapbook for the second half of 2017, because tumblr doesn’t like it when you have a million links on one post.

Italicized titles = enjoyed muchly, bold titles = love, titles with an asterisk* = OBSESSION and titles in (brackets) are re-watches/re-reads. And lastly, strikethough = DISLIKE.

Goals are: read thirty-five new books this year (yikes, way behind), finish four video games (definitely on track here), finish writing and publish the Sabriel AU (eh heh), and write something original (does coming up with the idea count?). 

MOVIES

June

Wonder Woman

(Doctor Strange)

Kiki’s Delivery Service

Bronson

Chocolat

Tristan and Isolde

(Moana)

Power Rangers

July

Spiderman: Homecoming

Mona Lisa Smile

Baby Driver

(Logan)

Ouija: Origins of Evil

(Star Wars: Rogue One)

Passengers

Atomic Blonde

King and I

Stranded

August

The Sixth Sense

(Armageddon)

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children

9

(The Princess Diaries)

(X-Men: Apocalypse)

Legend

(Silent Hill)

BOOKS

June:

Authority | Jeff Vandermeer

July:

Authority | Jeff Vandermeer 

The Secret History | Donna Tarte

A Wrinkle In Time | Madeline L’Engle [Fin]

The Archived | Victoria Schwab [Fin]

Scythe | Neal Shusterman  [Fin]

Shadow and Bone | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

August

Siege and Storm | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

Less | Andrew Sean Greer

Authority | Jeff Vandermeer

A Wind In The Door |  Madeline L’Engle [Fin]

PODCASTS

June:

The Bright Sessions Eps 31-32

Alice Isn’t Dead Eps 3-4

Welcome to Night Vale 1-3

July:

Alice Isn’t Dead Eps 4-5

EOS 10 Eps 1-3

August

N/A

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

June:

Grace and Frankie

American Gods

(Stranger Things)

How to Get Away With Murder s2

Black Sails s2

July:

Black Sails s2

Grace and Frankie

Stargate SG-1 s2, s3

Doctor Who s8

The Strain

Boku no Hero Academia 

August

Westworld

Voltron s3

Game of Thrones s7

The Strain

Yamishibai

Jerry Springer  (Vacation w/ boyfriend’s family. Brother and friends are awful.)

VIDEO GAMES

June:

LoZ: Breath of the Wild (Definitely more than 40 hrs; Fin)

Dishonored 2 (Corvo Playthrough, 7 hrs)

Witcher 3 (15 hrs?)

July:

Witcher 3 (15 hrs?)

(Final Fantasy XV, 2 hrs)

August

(Final Fantasy XV, 2 hrs)

DELIGHTFUL FIC

June:

Running on Air by eleventy7 (HP; Drarry; 75k;  Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.)

Slithering by astolat (HP; Drarry; 27k;  Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.)

Bitter Honey, Green Night by Faith Wood (faithwood) (HP; Drarry; 14k;  An inn, an Auror, a criminal, a mystery.)

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi (HP; Drarry; 93k;  'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.)

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi (HP; Drarry; 57k; Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.)

stranger things than polyamory by trepan (Stranger Things; Jonathon/Steve/Nancy; 3.5k;  Somebody spray-paints NANCY WHEELER HAS TWO BOYFRIENDS on a wall she walks by on her way back from school in May. There are a couple of other students watching her as she passes. Nancy gives the sign a long look, then smirks at them politely.)

the heart its own rough animal by trepan (Stranger Things; Jonathon/Nancy/Steve; 21k;  “Where’s her daemon,” says one of the boys urgently. “Guys, she doesn’t have one.”)

in the bone by patho (ghostsoldier) (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 2.8k;  It all began when Corvo started kissing the Mark for luck.)

The Sea and Stars Are Yours, My Dear, But the Moon Would Not Cooperate by NeverwinterThistle (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 25k; The Outsider explores the murky seas of human courtship while Corvo watches in bemusement, and in the background Emily draws, Callista takes charge, Piero sulks, and Cecelia accidentally becomes indispensable. There's also a plague, a vase of asparagus, and about a hundred singing whales who randomly showed up in the harbour one evening.The squid is still wriggling.)

apocrypha by aerynlallaboso (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 95k+; WIP;  The Eighth year of the reign of Empress Emily Kaldwin, First of her Name, the second year without a whisper from the Outsider, is the year the Void chooses to mark the end of an era.)

a small soft death by patho (ghostsoldier) (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 2.8k; “The finest steel,” the Outsider says, “is forged with true purpose in mind. Elements that enhance the strength of the weapon are carefully chosen, and those that make the metal brittle and weak are burned away. It is an exacting process. The most beautiful dagger will be of no use at all if the steel is not properly tempered. Do you understand?”)

in·car·nate by bygoneboy (Dishonored; Corvo/Outsider; 21k; The Void’s Chosen have loved him before.)

The Crown of the Summer Court by astolat (Merlin; Merlin/Arthur; 24k;  "The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court.")

the king of oak by saltpans (HP: FBAWTFT; Credance/Percival Graves; 38k; The first thing Percival Graves does after being released back into the world is buy a new wand.)

Hi, You Were My Husband in Another Life, Professor by littlebirdtold (Star Trek; Spirk; 48k; Um, hi. I'm Jim. Jim Kirk. You don't know me, but I know you. Well, sort of. It's a long story.)

  Bluebird by waldorph (Star Trek; Spirk; 7k; Jim whipped around so fast most of his drink ended up on Spock, who was reaching for the phaser that wasn’t there. The Enterprise crew was parting like the biblical seas before Moses, and Jim could feel the temperature dropping. “Mom,” Jim croaked.)

Misethere by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 46k; Emhyr was looking at him for once, with a strange expression. “I have misjudged you,” he said, sounding irritated actually: how dare Geralt surprise him.“I get that a lot,” Geralt said.)

Blooded Crown by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 24k; “You need not thank me,” Emhyr said. “I have an ulterior motive.”It annoyed Geralt to be surprised. He should’ve known from the start. “Yeah?” The words came out with a little bite. “Have another daughter you need me to track down?”“If I wished to hire you, I would hire you,” Emhyr said. “No: I want you to come to my bed.”)

Cursed by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 8k;  Geralt was reasonably sure this was the worst damn day of the worst damn month of his life, and it hadn’t hit bottom yet.)

July:

The War of Silver and Ash by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 15k; He hadn’t come here with a contract. He’d come here to get the faces out of his head: the bloodless dead sprawled in heaps through the streets of Beauclair, the morning after the rampage Detlaff had unleashed; the blank eyes of the boy in the orphanage tilting his head to let Orianna drink from his throat, with the lullaby she’d been singing him still hanging in the air.Wasn’t working that well so far.)

A Year In Toussaint by astolat (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 30k; Geralt had no damn idea what to do with a vineyard when Anna Henrietta gave him Corvo Bianco, but he figured it couldn’t be that bad.)

circling by xpityx (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 5k; Emhyr sighed, as if Geralt’s lack of immediate understanding was a fundamental failure of his character.)

Running Behind by Asidian (FFXV; Prompto/Noctis; WIP;  There's a tag hanging on his storage pod, instead of the clipboard that documents his progress. On that tag, there's a single word stamped in red: defective.)

Toys by astolat (Lucifer; Lucifer/Chloe; 2k; “You want to fuck me!” he said gleefully.)

Emblazoning by astolat (Merlin; OT4; 19k; Morgana turned away from the high, barred window and rubbed her arms, chilled and bare. Arthur was sitting in the dirty straw at the very limit of his chains, which kept him a few inches too far away to touch Merlin's limp body. Outside they were putting up the stake.)

Redemption Merry Go-Round by astolat (Lucifer; Lucifer/Dan/Chloe; 8k;  Dan was deeply sorry for whatever he’d done in his life that had landed him in this mess, and also reasonably sure that despite all the shit he’d pulled in the last couple of years, he still didn’t deserve this.)

wild peaches by notbecauseofvictories (The Labyrinth; Sarah/Goblin King; 3k;  The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast.)

where the weeds take root by beenghosting (Supernatural; Destiel; 30k+;  “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”)

damnatio memoriae by temporalDecay (Witcher 3; Geralt/Emhyr; 12k;  “May I walk the estate?” Emhyr repeated, and his nose crinkled in that familiar twitch of displeasure that Geralt had always secretly delighted in causing, despite how downright suicidal it was to invoke it on purpose. “I'm not going to run away,” he added, with a slight glare. “I'm merely bored.”)

Heart and Home by lc2l (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 97k; In an alternate Paris, werewolves occupy the majority of the ruling classes, making and adjusting policy to suit their interests. The punishments for a human attacking a werewolf can be brutal, unless they have the protection of a wolf pack.How this translates to 'claim Grantaire as your mate to get him out of prison' is something Enjolras is still trying to get his head around, but he's never been one to give up on a cause even when it's sleeping on his sofa.)

August

How the Future's Done by barricadeur (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 12k;  "Grantaire," he says slowly. "What do you have in that box?")

vocal ink by sarahyyy (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 3k; “Officially, we don’t have a leader, everyone here is equal,” Courfeyrac says, keeping his voice low as Enjolras starts his speech, “but if we did, and we don’t, it would be Enjolras.” He looks over to Marius. “Do not approach him. Let him come to you, let him be the first to initiate conversation, and for the love of God, do not mention soulmates.”)

Years Since It's Been Clear by lady_ragnell (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 10k;  Grantaire really doesn't expect Enjolras to force him to move in with him when he hears how shitty Grantaire's apartment is. And he definitely doesn't expect Enjolras to want him to stay, or how easy it turns out to be, or the way Enjolras has a habit of doing his studying in the sunshine on the living room floor ...)

Tolerable (Inuyasha; Sesshomaru&Miroku; 30k; “The scent is not entirely unpleasant.”)

Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 50k; Grantaire's life has a pattern: he pays his respects to Aphrodite, he goes to work, he loves Enjolras and provokes him because he can't bring himself to do otherwise.)

The Five Year Plan by Neery (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 16k;  Enjolras loses his memory. Thankfully, nothing unexpected seems to have happened to him in the five years he can't remember. Well, except for the boyfriend. The boyfriend's kind of a surprise.)

dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 54k;  He's sitting in a car with all of his belongings in the back seat and his hands wrapped around the steering wheel, admitting to himself that a stupid, dizzy firework of a one-night-stand with a man he'd barely known is one of the only bright memories he has right now.)

World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 185k; Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn't even opened his mouth yet. That's got to be a record, even for them."I need a favor," he says at last)**

  The Ghost of You by luchia (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 25k; Grantaire moves into an apartment inhabited by a poltergeist. Enjolras haunts him, and Grantaire should really win an award for most complicated relationship status ever.)

box of secrets by nightswatch (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 53k;  Grantaire leaves his doodles all over the place. Enjolras collects them without knowing who drew them.)

Yes, Sir by mikkimouse (Voltron; Sheith; 8k; "Are you all ready to get started?""Yes, sir!" twenty voices answered in unison.Shiro's stomach flipped at the words. Oh, no.The soulmark on his right wrist burned, confirmation that his soulmate was one of the twenty people who'd just uttered the phrase.)

despite what you've been told by caseyvalhalla (Yuri On Ice; Yuuri/Viktor; 14k; When Victor falls, he goes down hard.)

these things take time by sonhoedesrazao (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 63k;  He’s always wary of making assumptions; even more so when Grantaire is concerned. He knows he’s not the easiest person to deal with. People either like him or can’t stand him, and it’s easy to respond to those reactions, but Grantaire—Grantaire is hostile and mocking, Grantaire scorns his beliefs, and Grantaire stays.)

In the End We Have Each Other by samyazaz (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 50k; what startles Enjolras the most is that he manages approximately half a step through the door into the back room where they all meet before Grantaire rattles his glass down on the table in the back that he's taken for his own and drawls, "Is there something you forgot to tell us, Apollo?"That silences the room, predictably enough. Everyone breaks off their conversations and swivels to stare at him. At him, and at the baby carrier that he's got hooked over one arm.)

True Colors by lady_ragnell (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 4k;  The first thing that catches Enjolras's eye when he enters the Musain Cafe for the first time is the walls. They're a dull black that it takes him a moment to realize must be chalkboard paint, because near the tables there are words and doodles, and all over, even the erased sections are stained with faint colored marks like the walls have soulmarks.)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot by tellthemstories (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantaire; 10k; Fourteen times Grantaire tried to kill Enjolras.And one time he fell in love.)

RSVP (+1) by tellthemstories (Les Mis; Enjolras/Grantire; 21k;  When Enjolras is invited to Marius and Cosette’s wedding, he fully intends to ignore the ‘plus one’ on the invite. He’s busy at work and he has a lot on - he doesn’t have time for relationships. What he doesn’t expect is for Grantaire to invite himself along and then hit it off immediately with all of his friends.)

always there to remind you by estora, taywen (Dishonored; Corvo/Daud; 8k;  Later, after he had killed a number of people for coin, but before he killed so many that he lost count, Daud was glad he had no mark. No soulmate deserved to have his words marked on their skin.)

( Watercast by Fishwrites (Voltron; Lance/Keith; 96k; WIP;  Shiro has been a Galra prisoner for over a year; with his flight feathers clipped and unable to fly. Desperate to escape, he jumps overboard while being transported to the capitol on a Galran ship. Lance is a merman who saves him from drowning. Keith thinks Shiro is about to become mermaid dinner. Hunk just wants Lance to stop going to the surface all the time, dammit!))

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

June:

Multifandom || Tessellate (TYS: round2)

Multifandom || Bleeding out (collab w/ KatrinDepp)

Multifandom || Is this Real?

Multifandom || Insane Like Me (TYS: round1)

Multifandom │ Warriors

July:

the beast of america | percival graves

Get You Killed || Percival Graves

Percival Graves - Hit & Run

► Graves (+Credence) | Are You Insane Like Me?

Credence Barebone/Percival Graves || And I wanna fight, But I can't contend

[FIREFLY] - She always did love to dance

[Multifandom] - Dance with me

The Last of Us || Can't Pretend

The Walking Dead || Bottom of the River

Multifandom || Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight

Doctor Who (Logan Style)

Spider-Man (Peter Parker) // Everybody Loves Me

Iron Man (Tony Stark) // Gold

In The Flesh | we're gonna die, die, die

In The Flesh || We're Alone Now

Fantastic Beasts || Step into the light

Stranger Things|| Knocking On Heaven's Door

Jonathan & Nancy|| Tighten Up

Multifandom|| Stuck.Broken.Dead.

[Multifandom] - One Word

Marvel | Human

percival graves | can't hold us

August

Hela // Castle

grantaire & enjolras - help me kill the president

Game of Thrones || Blood of My Blood (for 60k)

(GoT) House Stark | The North Remembers

(GoT) Jaime Lannister | Oathbreaker

Jonathan Byers || I'm not like everybody else

Uptown Funk || Marvel Universe

MARVEL || Can't hold us

GLITTER & GOLD || Multifandom [HNY●2017]

I'M SO SORRY | Marvel Cinematic Universe

David Haller [Legion] | Dysfunctional

(Legion) It's Better When it Feels Wrong

unless you make it real [Legion]

not today [yuri on ice]

Haikyuu!! || not today

Multifandom | Tame Your Demons (w/SnowLightxx)

Six Of Crows - Trouble

marvel || battle royale

(GoT) Jon Snow | The Targaryen Wolf

Arya Stark // See What I've Become

(GoT) Jon Snow || The Wolf With Dragon's Blood

MARVEL/DC || BORN ready 

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

June:

Johnny Hollow - Boogeyman

Sia - To Be Human feat. Labrinth

Lorde - Green Light

The National - "Don't Swallow the Cap"

The Growlers - "I'll Be Around"

The xx - I Dare You

Phantogram - Fall In Love

alt J - In Cold Blood

And I Waited All Night For You To Come, But You Never Did

Sia - The Greatest

Hopeless Fountain Kingdom - Halsey (Album)

History - Monakr

Wildcat! Wildcat! - Relentless (feat. Wynne)

Ingrid Michaelson - In the Sea

Cities in Dust Lyrics- The Everlove

Prides - Messiah

ODESZA - It's Only (feat. Zyra)

Metric - Breathing Underwater

Purity Ring - Sea Castle

Hundreds - Fighter

Labyrinth Ear - Urchin

Rasputina - Dig Ophelia

Sóley - Fight Them Soft

Soap&Skin - Boat Turns Toward The Port

CocoRosie - R.I.P. Burn Face

AURORA - Nature Boy

July:

Hamilton Soundtrack

Karen O - I Shall Rise

Miracle of Sound - Lady of Worlds 

Annie Lennox - I Put A Spell On You

Woodkid - IRON (Sara cover)

Peronal Yeezus By Chambaland (Atomic Blonde Trailer Music)

Kesha - Praying

twenty one pilots: Screen

Lemaitre - Higher

Regina Spektor-Blue Lips

Zaz - Les Passants

Katie Costello - Stranger

Arctic Monkeys - Knee Socks

Silversun Pickups - The Pit

If I Apologized - Mirrormask 

August

Les Mis - One Day More

Les Mis - Red and Black

Les Mis - Do You Hear the People Sing

Les Mis - Epilogue

Sleeping At Last - Mars

Hozier - Take Me To Church

Lynrd Skynrd - Freebird

You - Keaton Henson

Radical Face - All Is Well (It’s Only Blood)

Valerie Broussard - Trouble

Erutan - The Willow Maid

Imagine Dragons - Gold

Imagine Dragons - Thunder

Which Witch - Florence & the Machine

Paint It, Black - Ramin Djawadi

Honor For All - Dishonored

Daniel Licht - The Return

Patrick Wolf - Teignmouth 

Ballet Breakup - RvB

WRITTEN FIC

June:

it's warm, this skin i'm living in (SGA; Rodney/John; 1,170 words; When he is thirty-seven years old, John Sheppard thinks about the universe.

it's good to be in love, it really does suit you (KH; Sora/Riku/Kairi; 1,694 words; “We’ve done dangerous before.” Sora shrugs. “Getting a mortgage was dangerous, but we did it anyway.”)

a hazy shade of winter (Stranger Things; Steve/Nancy/Jonathan; 1,863 words; In November, they build a tree house.)

July:

can't deny your appetite (SGA; Rodney/John; 4,031 words; John finds out that there’s a vampire in Atlantis the day after they’ve stepped through the gate.He finds out that the vampire in question is Rodney McKay four weeks later, when they’re all hunkered down in the yawning shadow of some crumbling ruins and Rodney looks at him, his eyes eerily bright in the darkness, sees the blood on John’s face, and says, “Oh.”)

August

caught off guard by you (FFXV; Prompto/Noctis; 1,671 words;  “I just got you back,” Prompto says quietly, words muffled into the curve of Noctis’s neck.)

take me to church (Teen Wolf; Sterek; 3,129 words;  Derek scoffs. “You want to take me back to Quantico.”)

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

June:

N/A

July:

the salt water sting:  wor·ship | noun | the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.

The Flash | Fire Fire [Vid]

August

love has no heart: A mix for those with no hearts.

i believe in you: You love him. The story still ends.

January.

February.

March.

April.

May.

June.

July.

August.

[anonymousafterthoughts]

This week has been PACKED with edits for Five Glass Flowers and navigating round one of the Feedback Phase of #WriterInMotion.  First off, I was BLESSED to be paired with Jeff and Sara as Critique Partners for this round. They’re both writing Science Fiction as well and are familiar with some of the genre-specific elements I brought to my story.  So a massive THANK YOU to both of them for their invaluable insight, suggestions, and, of course, for trusting me with their work as well.

Market & Genre: Science Fiction, Literary lean, Dystopian

Word Count: 1,210

Loose Comparisons & Inspirations: Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer, Orange by Ichigo Takano, and Inception.

Trigger Warning: Five Glass Flowers is set in a world with assisted suicide and touches on mental health. This isn’t fleshed out entirely at the moment, but it’s pretty obvious in this draft. The completed version will also allude to a light rail bombing (so, warn future you maybe) but this isn’t touched on yet.

I read the feedback side-by-side and made lists based on areas of concern: 1) what did both CPs like? 2) What was unclear to them? 3) Did the haunted, dystopian vibes come through? 4) Was everything balanced?

Most of the suggestions were minor–a need for clarity here, an awkward sentence there–but the real joy was seeing how they interacted with and processed the content. It’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve written any sort of science fiction, so I was concerned it didn’t fit enough within the genre or that the story, given its literary lean, might be confusing in some way. However, Jeff and Sara both swept those worries out the door! I love how Jeff came across the title of this chapter (The Janus Project) and did his own little research about it. I’d deliberately picked JANUS because it’s the name of the Roman God of doorways, time, transitions, and endings. I enjoy embedding meaning everywhere, and was tickled when Jeff picked up on this right away.

I also appreciated his attention to detail, such as pointing out the awkwardness of Asra’s position in the opening line or prodding me to elaborate on how the tally on the hologlass was discreet. His style of critiquing is similar to mine: stream of consciousness, reader reaction, and the occasional quill stab for needed edits (only I think he’s nicer at that than me LOL).  Both Jeff and Sara has similar suggestions, which indicated certain things SANG and a few things SUNK, but I liked the consistency in feedback. For example, there’s a line where the narrator points out that priets “don’t usually help someone die” and both CPs countered that, technically, one could argue they DID. So I adjusted the sentence to flat out say suicide so that a line is drawn between guiding one to their natural death versus allowing something a priest wouldn’t normally condone.

Sara’s style was a little more sparse and less reader reaction, but her insight was so helpful to catching potential world-holes and unclear exposition. For example, I’d never explained the whole reason behind Asra having THREE Caseworkers during her year of mandatory therapy. At the time, I wondered if that kind of info was even needed and left it out because I didn’t want to drag the story down with too much setting/backstory. However, Sara’s feedback revealed how unclear that section of the scene was and the kinds of questions it raised. I really appreciated her attention to details like this, especially since I have a tendency to be either painfully vague or vomit details everywhere. Her feedback gave me an idea of where to balance hints and reveals. She was also great at catching some of those little typos that like to sneak in!

My biggest concern was the atmosphere. I was shooting for haunting, mysterious, and poignant. I didn’t want the disturbing aspects of the world to overshadow the inescapable strangeness colliding with Asra Aeilstrom’s life. I worked to deepen her own backstory (settling on a traumatic subway bombing) about where her affliction came from. The first two versions were too vague in doing this, I think. The atmosphere was there, but the characterization…wasn’t. So I guess that was, more or less, my second big concern. Sara and Jeff expressed wanting to know more about Oblivion and why Asra is seeking it, so I think, to an extent, I’ve achieved building her character, but will need to also add her backstory in throughout the next few revisions. Here’s the overall feedback received:

1.

The Janus Project

The causes of death on the state-issued certificates gently floated along the tinted hologlass walls. Asra stared up at them with permanent conviction, dark sunglasses lessening the glare of light:

Xu Heng, 32, Inconsolable sorrow after absorbing displaced emotions.

Torin Thallos, 17, An uncontrollable desire to be full.

Lucho Gálvez, 23, The belief that nothing–including oneself–exists.

Ella Walsh, 47, A longing for things that cannot be named.

Lorne Thale, 50, Fell Hopelessly In Love With Annihilation.

Ian Ito, 38, Hysterical fear of drowning in air.

Every forty seconds, the certificates flickered out of existence, new ones appeared, and this cycle repeated. A discreet tally sat in the bottom right corner of the glass, where the day’s successful journeys to Oblivion tick, tick, ticked like a 24-hour clock: 66, 000. 70,200. 82,350. 93,800. The clock never seemed to stop, even after it reset to zero.

“It’s a painless, peaceful process.”

The office door hissed open and the Caseworker shuffled in. He gave Asra a reassuring smile, gray eyes shining with plastic empathy through crooked frames.

“Are they all…have they chosen to…” Die.

Asra tore her gaze away from the hologlass, and settled it on the pamphlet in front of her. She’d read it countless times in her year of therapy after she made her decision.  It was a requirement to know all the available options, even if one couldn’t afford them. Or, in her case, want them. If she closed her eyes, she could recite the entire pamphlet word-for-word, and yet, she couldn’t even recall–

“They chose Oblivion.”

As if rehearsed to a habit, the Caseworker reached out to console her with a light squeeze of a gloved hand. This, too, Asra was familiar with; she’d had three Caseworkers before this—completely normal for those of her particular situation—but they all behaved the same: a pitying smile here, a kind hand there, voice never above what was considered appropriate for a funeral. Asra slipped her hands off the table and into her lap, trying not to look at the slash of scars across her fingers. The Caseworker said nothing as he pulled up her chart and settled into his seat. A clinical silence hung between them.

Somewhere down the hall, whimpering began. A tea kettle whistled. A cheerful voice called for the head psychiatrist over the speakers. Caseworkers walked down the halls as if they had all the time in the world. Maybe they did. The smell of something sterile clung to air. Fingers tapped against a tablet. The hologlass tick, tick, ticked with new certificates. Shifting in her chair—one of those hard, plastic ones bolted to the floor—Asra tried not to interact with her surrounds, to listen too closely, but restlessness prevailed.

Once again, her eyes scoured the room one last time: the glass box of an office (or counseling room, depending on who you asked), walls of frosted hologlass and floors of snowy quartz. Everything was bleached with the brightness of the UV lights overhead. Absently, she pushed the darkened shades she wore up the bridge of her nose and pulled the hood of her jacket over her forehead. The offices were always kept at a constant 59 degrees. She’d never thought to ask why.

At last, her gaze settled on the man across the desk. Like all Oblivion Caseworkers, or OCs as everyone generally called them, he wore the standard lapis lazuli tunic that covered him from neck to ankles. An inverted triangular insignia sat snug against his Adam’s apple, shifting every time he swallowed, which wasn’t often. The name tag on his chest said Julian, and she wondered, doubted, whether that was even his real name. The OCs all looked freakishly similar, almost like priests.

 Except priests didn’t usually help people commit suicide.

Asra cleared her throat. It was a harsh sound in the manufactured silence of the office. Those silver scars on her hands seemed to gleam in the lighting. “How long will it take?”

“Less than the time you’ve been suffering.” Julian’s smile grew softer, more pitiful. “The Janus Project prides itself on providing only the most compassionate state-issued Oblivion in the country. It will only take as long as you need it to. You’ll be transported to the doorway at –” he checked the location on his tablet “–the Howlan House. It’s as close to the site of the accident we can get you. Everything you need is already there, including the funeral materials, and alternative pathways, should you want them.”

           “I don’t.”

“It’s there if you do.”

“There’s no point to it.”

The words broke the air as a hoarse whisper. She pulled the cuffs of her sweater over her hands, blinking furiously as spots clouded her vision. Alternative pathways, she wanted to scoff. As if she were a candidate for Transplant or Reboot. Asra waited for anxiety to wash over her, as the pamphlets had warned, but none came. She searched herself for pangs of regret or second thoughts, but as always, she felt nothing. Even as she touched the tablet the Caseworker slid across the table, she could sense neither the warmth of where his hands had been nor the coldness of the glass. Not even the weight of it registered. She caught an unfocused glimpse of her cheerless pale face and muted green eyes on the screen, though she couldn’t be sure it was her face anymore; it was diluted with their images–a jagged collage of features that belonged to other versions of herself living in alternate worlds. Other versions she had, unfortunately, collided with that harrowing day.

            And since then, she felt nothing of herself.

            Sensed nothing of this world.

            Remembered nothing of her life.

Nothing except November the 20th, but she didn’t want the memory.

“Given your…. situation…. we want you to be as comfortable as possible. When you’re ready for Oblivion, it will embrace you. You will find peace, Asra.” He sounded so sure, she had no choice, but to believe him. The Caseworker indicated to the tinted walls and nodded at the tablet. “Shall we announce it?”

She pulled the tablet closer and froze, a hollowness burrowing deep into her chest. Her thumb brushed the photo of a house in a twilight-kissed field, the black shadows of mountains hovering in the distance. She wondered if she would have once found it beautiful, the fireflies drifting up like falling stars caught in reverse, or what the breeze caressing the patches of weeds would have felt like. She couldn’t see the suspended railway of the old Muika train line over the water, but she knew it was there.

“It’s as close as we could get you to the Fragmentation Zone.”

A memory skipped across Asra’s mind–a kaleidoscope of twisted metal, the snap of bones against water, putrid smoke–before it faded back into the shoebox she’d buried it in.  She blinked, waiting for a voice of reason to echo, to say live, live, live. But nothing came. Nothing but a wetness sliding over her chilled cheeks, dropping in time with the relentless tick, tick, ticks of the walls, and onto the glass tomb housing her death certificate:

Asra Aeilstrom, 26, Fractured, Irreparable feeling of being out of place & time.

Five Glass Flowers Playlist

Writer In Motion | Round One of CP Revisions This week has been PACKED with edits for Five Glass Flowers and navigating round one of the Feedback Phase of #WriterInMotion. 

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2017, Take 1

Scrapbook for 2017, because I actually kept up with it last year (for the most part) and it helped a lot. So, rules!

Italicized titles = enjoyed muchly, bold titles = love, titles with an asterisk* = OBSESSION and titles in (brackets) are re-watches/re-reads. And lastly, strikethough = DISLIKE.

Goals are: read thirty-five new books this year, finish four video games, finish writing and publish the Sabriel AU, and write something original. Even if it’s just a collection of short stories.

MOVIES

January:

(Flubber)

Arrival

(Spirited Away)

KH X

iBoy

February:

The Awakening

(Finding Dory)

(The X-Files)

(V For Vendetta)

La La Land

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

(Interstellar)

Ex. Machina

March:

No Country For Old Men

Beetlejuice

Pontypool

Logan

Get Out

Beauty and the Beast (remake)

It

April:

Tales From Earthsea

(The Secret World of Arriety)

(Inside Out)

(Kubo and the Two String)

May:

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

(It)

The Secret Life of Pets

(Moana)

Stargate

Your Name

BOOKS

January:

Vicious | V.E. Schwab

Goldenhand | Garth Nix

Frankenstein | Mary Shelley

Illuminae | Amie Kaufman [Fin]

February:

Before the Fall | Noah Hawley

The Martian | Andy Weir

March:

Before the Fall | Noah Hawley 

The Martian | Andy Weir

Annihilation | Jeff Vandermeer

April:

Annihilation | Jeff Vandermeer [Fin]

Vicious  | V.E. Schwab [Fin]

A Conjuring of Light | V.E. Schwab [Fin]

Love for the Cold-Blooded: Or: The Part-Time Evil Minion’s Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero [Fin]

May:

(American Gods)

PODCASTS

May:

The Bright Sessions Eps 1-31

Alice Isn’t Dead Eps 1-2

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January:

Stargate Atlantis s5

Sherlock s4

Gate

Steven Universe

Travelers

Trollhunters

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Skam

Voltron

Konosuba

Stargate SG-1 (s1)

Taboo

February:

Stargate SG-1 s1, s2

Yamishibai

Frequency s1

(The X-Files)

Grey’s Anatomy s3

Taboo

Legion

The Flash

Black Mirror s1

March:

Legion

The Flash s3

Taboo

Supernatural

(Hannibal s1)

April:

Legion 

Rick and Morty s3

The Flash

Grey’s Anatomy s4, s5

(Hannibal s1)

The Expanse s1

Trollhunters s1

American Gods

May:

American Gods

Sense8 s2

The Flash

Grey’s Anatomy s5, s6

Wynnona Earp

Grace and Frankie

Riverdale

Steven Universe

VIDEO GAMES

January:

Pokemon Moon (7 hrs)

Dragon Age: Inquisition (Dwarf Rogue; 1 hr)

Final Fantasy X (2 hrs)

Dragon Age: Origins (Male Human Mage; 52 hrs)

KH 2.8 | BBS; A Fragmentary Passage (3hrs)

KH DDD Remake (1 hour)

February:

Pokemon Moon (15 hrs)

Dragon Age: Origins (Male Human Mage; 52 hrs)

Mass Effect 2 (Male Soldier Sheppard; 1 hr)

Assassin’s Creed 2 (8 hrs)

Silent Hill 3

March:

Fallout New Vegas

Horizon Zero Dawn (80 hrs) [Fin]

Mass Effect Andromeda (Female Ryder; 41 hrs)

April:

Mass Effect Andromeda (Female Ryder; 83 hours) [Fin]

Persona 5 (80 hrs)

May:

Persona 5 (96 hrs)

Nier: Automata (4 hrs)

LoZ: Breath of the Wild(40 hrs?)

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January:

Stargazers by Ruby_Wednesday (Captive Prince; Laurent/Damen;  Five years after the Truce of Marlas, Damen and Laurent meet again in Delpha. They're forced to work together to soothe the growing tension between their countries. But Laurent does not forgive easily and Damen's not that sorry.)

con·tra·dic·tion by caseyvalhalla (Yu Yu Hakusho; Kurama/Hiei;  Mukuro raised the paper until it was out of range, just to make Hiei lean up on tiptoe, just to see that curl of anger on his mouth again, and she smiled sweetly enough to bare all of her teeth. “Why are you exchanging love letters with the right hand of my political rival?”)

in another time in another castle by caseyvalhalla (KH; AkuRoku; No one grows up without regrets.But time moves in cycles, winds back on itself, and sooner or later that kid you used to play video games with is gonna reappear just in time to ruin your day.)

Hernandes & Jones by antistar_e (kaikamahine) (SU; Japis;  In Miami, it's a statuette. Jasper tells her, "Come on, I need your help," and Lapis says, "That's nice. What part of 'I'm not wearing a catsuit' do you not understand?")

i have my body (and you have yours) by astoryaboutwar (YoI; Yuuri/Victor;  Yuuri overflows with the weight of things that have been said, trembles with what remains.)

A Somaal Universe by antistar_e (kaikamahine) (SU; Japis; Connie flips over the next card. "'Most likely to -'" She reads out loud, and then dissolves into laughter and has to start over, propping the card up on her bump. "'Most likely to freak out when you go into labor and break the speed limit getting to the hospital?'" "Pearl," Amethyst and Jasper say in unison.)

Let's Give Ourselves Promises of Our Unending byaimmyarrowshigh, nichestars (SW; Shara/Kes/Cassian; Captain Cassian Andor tries to define what it means to live after he should have died. His second life is a softer one.)

Abstain by resonant (SGA; Mcshep;  Aliens force John and Rodney not to have sex.)

Advantage by resonant (SGA; Mcshep;  This slave-owner thing was a lot of responsibility.)

Streets In A World Underneath It All by ISMENETRUTH (SGA; Mcshep; "Puddlejumper One: An Exclusive Portrait of John Sheppard on Atlantis," John reads aloud, smirking. "Funny, I'm pretty sure I've never met the author.")

Faith healing by aesc (SGA; Mcshep; The signal had started a year and a half ago, maddening, popping up in Chicago, D.C., Charlotte, New York City, Santa Fe, Montgomery, Santa Cruz, Seattle, a town in Kansas with a name like Desperation and a place in North Dakota called, from what Rodney could remember, Sweaty Groin.)

The home front by aesc (SGA; Mcshep; “This had better be the Sheppard residence,” Rodney says, brilliant, agitated life and volume against a monotonous day and Dave’s subdued welcome, “because I’ve been driving around for hours and if I ever find the woman who did the voice on my GPS system I’m going to personally amputate her vocal cords.”)

Reality by Resonant (SGA; Mcshep; McKay was the perfect object for a crush you never intended to do anything about.)

Cultural Exchange by lamardeuse (SGA; Mcshep;  "What does he think we are, Fine Arts majors?" Rodney grumbled.)

Do You Know What I Know? by DevilDoll (SGA; Mcshep;  "You need to come here, "John said, crooking a finger, "so I can slap you in the head.")

Pegasus Non-Verbal by igrab (SGA; Mcshep;  John always gets a little thrill when he sees Rodney sign at him across the room, casually dissing people literally standing next to him and John is the only one who knows.)

Junk Cheap by DevilDoll (SGA; Mcshep;  If you were thinking you'd love to read an AU where Rodney is a college professor and John owns a junk shop, this is the story for you.)

Denial by DevilDoll (SGA; Mcshep;  "John talks about you all the time.")

All The Way To The Bone by respoftw (SGA; Mcshep;  John is ready for a new beginning and he wants the tattoo to commemorate it. )

February:

Calling Down the Lightning by dreamwaffles (SGA; Mcshep;  Dr. Rodney McKay, PhD PhD, is a wizard.)

Forget Me Not by maisierita (SGA; Mcshep; John the servant turns out not to be anything like Rodney would have imagined.)

Unidentified by fiercelydreamed (SGA; Mcshep; Fourteen years, eight months, and seven days after John and Rodney meet, the clock starts all over again.)

into that secret place where no one dares to go by verity (TW; Stiles/Lydia; 4k; The first time he felt Lydia's soul, it felt like a sneeze.) 

Black Helicopters at Dawn by whizzy (SGA; Mcshep; 240k;  Screw the bet. Rodney was going to prove the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence. Oh, and incidentally, he might just catch the United States Air Force with their pants around their ankles.)

Out in the Open by Xparrot (SGA; Mcshep;  It's Situation Normal for the team when they're caught in an avalanche, but digging themselves out uncovers more than they counted on.)

A Rational Universe by Xparrot (SGA; Mcshep;  "You're a lot more encouraging than my last friendly hallucination," Rodney says.)

Speech Deprived by Xparrot (SGA; Mcshep;  Rodney was released from the infirmary with painkillers, icepacks, and a strict injunction to limit all unnecessary speech for at least three days.)

Lord of the Sea (masterpost) by Multi (SGA; Mcshep; Among the Goa'uld, Mer'deth was something of an oddity.)

The Return to Normalcy by  Cypher (SGA; Mcshep;  The three month anniversary of the exile--as John thinks of it--falls on a three-day weekend.)

Still by murron (SGA; Mcshep;  On any other day, John might have shot Rodney a quick look, broadcasting his doubt and checking whether Rodney shared it. With a sinking heart, Rodney admitted it would be foolish to expect that kind of exchange right now.)

March:

Surrogate God by PepperPrints (The Flash; Reverb/Harry;  When Harrison Wells returns to Earth-2, someone is waiting for him. Reverb survived Zoom, but with the cost of losing his abilities. Convinced that Harry can return his powers to him, Reverb holds him captive, and he's asking for more than Harry can deliver.)

My Father Before Me by telleer (SGA; Mcshep;  Even after twenty years, Rodney still has no idea how to raise children.)

We Cannot Live Within by laureltreedaphne (SGA; Mcshep; John grinned. "So McKay's attractive to everyone?")

Before We Get Going, Here's Some Books I'd Like You to Read by Chash (The 100; Bellamy/Clarke;  Two months into her new job at the library, Clarke knows the following things about Bellamy Blake: they reserve a lot of books, they have good taste in said books, and they're really good at avoiding her.)

Livewire by marauders_groupie (The 100; Bellamy/Clarke;  Clarke Griffin finds 'Atlas' written on her wrist and Bellamy Blake sees flowers bloom on his skin.)

For Love of the Hunt by acidtonguejenny (Horizon Zero Dawn; Nil/Aloy;  If she’s hard on Nil, it’s because she understands more of him than she wants to.)

Heavy Weapons and How to Use Them by Armengard (Horizon Zero Dawn; Aloy/Petra;  The world ended, and then it didn't, and Aloy seeks a new purpose. In the meantime, visiting Free Heap and one Petra Forgewoman every so often is certainly worthwhile, as Aloy eventually finds out.)

Like a Lightning Strike by miss_aphelion (Hannibal; Will/Hannibal;  In a world where omegas are instant celebrities and treated like royalty, Will just wants to be left alone.)

babel by spqr (X-Men; Charles/Erik;  Two days ago Charles screamed loud enough that Erik heard him halfway around the world, but he didn’t listen.)

Under the Sea by astolat (SGA; Mcshep;  "Oh, thank you," Rodney yelled over the howls of do that conga!, "because what my night was missing was being groped next to the beer keg by a guy in a tiara.")

Lord, Save Me from Your Followers by anamatics (Supergirl; Lena/Kara; Kara, perhaps out of a want for thoroughness in her story, perhaps out of a Millennial-born urge to creep on a the social media of a woman she finds intriguing, discovers that Lena Luthor has a pretty active following on Instagram one afternoon not long after their first meeting.)

The God Machine by robotboy (Marvel; Loki/Tony; Tony goes undercover to spy on Loki. It's a fucking disaster.)

April:

Debt by Storynerd (Marvel; Tony/Loki;  Tony Stark shouldn't find Loki fascinating, but he does, because all he’s ever wanted to do is take things apart to see how they work. Besides, he’s never been any good at following the rules.)

in stasis by ilgaksu (Voltron; Keith/Lance; The story starts like this: with a story where you think you know the end, until it turns out you don’t, until it turns out you didn’t have a clue.)

Yuri!!! in Space by Fahye (YOI; Yuuri/Victor;  "No, see, we've all been trained a certain way. The training system is traditional; it's centuries old. Nobody taught you. You ballist like it's got nothing to do with war at all." A sleepy, extraordinary smile crawls over Victor's face. "Nobody else does it like that. That's why we're going to win.")

hood & glove by Fahye (YOI; Yuri/Otabek;  "I don't mess with the fae," Otabek says.)

between the motion and the act by Fahye (Captive Prince; Damen/Laurent; "They don't want it to be real," Laurent says. He touches lightly, with his fingertips, where he's written LOVE WINS. "They want us to sell them a fantasy, and they want just enough reality that they can pretend it might happen to them, one day.")

May:

A Perfect Commotion by Ruby_Wednesday (Captive Prince; Damen/Laurent;  Laurent needs this job. Not in the I need to put food on the table and a roof over my head kind of way. He's got a generous inheritance, thank you very much. No, he needs this job to prove he is a functioning adult who did not waste his late mother's money on an expensive education. He can be normal, whatever that is.)

Don't Turn Me Home Again by gyzym (Hawaii Five-O; Danny/Steve;  After a rough day of island living, Danny wakes up in New Jersey and learns the hard way to be careful what he wishes for.)

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym (HP; Harry/Draco; Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.)

Favor for Your Four-Chambered Heart by @kaikamahine (SU; Jaspis; Never Let Me Go AU)**

With Fire in Their Eyes by Asuka Kureru (Askerian) (YoI; Yuuri/Viktor; He lands butterfly-light in a swirl of hair and glittering gauze, and the ceiling crashes to the rink all around him.)

An Unpredictable Amount of Turtles by skoosiepants (TW; Sterek;  Stiles says, “I have a five year plan. A five year plan to popularity that will tank the minute I meet this guy.”)

Bring a Towel by verity (SGA; Mcshep;  It was just Rodney's luck that the guy with the strongest expression of the ATA gene on Earth was some lanky alpha who couldn't follow an order as basic as "don't touch anything.")

Crypsis by zoemathemata (SGA; Mcshep; Rodney McKay is the pissiest Alpha John Sheppard has ever met. And that’s saying something.)

Zen and the Art of Jumper Maintenance by Indybaggins (SGA; Mcshep; The one where Rodney gets sucked in and John… follows. Featuring a quirky John, Rodney in orange robes, crazy Ancient-worship, sheep milking and jumpers that aren't broken but need to be fixed anyway.)

Out of West by rageprufrock (SGA; Mcshep;  In 1991, Desert Storm began, Pete Rose got banned from the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Soviet Union collapsed, and Rodney McKay was framed for academic fraud.)

A Slightly Different Quality of Light by rageprufrock (SGA; Mcshep;  John's very first memory, the one Rodney finds after he goes through six separate data terminals--all of which he has relocated to a roomy lab with lots of windows--is of the sky.)

Bell Curve, or, Ladies Night at the Boom Boom Room by rageprufrock (SGA; Mcshep;  In his rational mind, Rodney knew that following a girl who'd just dumped you into a strip club was really, really pathetic.)

Lock the Door by rageprufrock (SGA; Mcshep; "You can't possibly be this stupid," is what Rodney finally decides to start with.)

No Less Unthinkable by rageprufrock (Yuri On Ice; Yuuri/Viktor;  In which Katsuki Yuuri fights a losing battle with chronic anxiety, the quadruple Salchow, and his own judgment four drinks in — but wins the war.)

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January:

Glitter & Gold (Voltron)

► Multifandom | Saturn

Yuri On Love

A Sadness Runs Through Him - a Gravity Falls PMV

win | multifandom (2015 mashup)

hero | multifandom (2016 mashup)

Multifandom | Goodbye 2016

take it slow | multifandom

ruins | The x-files

McShep - Run Baby Run

McShep - Can't Pretend

February:

Superhero; SGA, Mckay/Sheppard (mcshep) 

Burning Desire (Peter/Roman)

►Purple Lamborghini

►MAD HATTER

Multipsychos | I got blood on my hands

Dean Winchester | Born to be wild (8k)

multifandom || The Apotheosis of War (TYS) 

star wars || timelines

Captain America • Symphony of Violence

March:

N/A

April:

As Much As If You Were A God 

►MultiFandom | Believer

"Lenny"/David [Legion] || give it a twist

►MultiFandom | Stay

May:

Kylo Ren || believer

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January:

Fassine | Feather Jesus 

DJ Earworm Mashup - United State of Pop 2016 (Into Pieces)

What’s The Use In Feeling Blue - Steven Universe\

Caravan Palace - Lone Digger

Yoga Session 08 - Music for Meditation and Relaxation

Utopia (Jana Hunter Remix)

Not Afraid Anymore

Susanne Sundfør - (LidoLido Remix) The Brothel

Run Baby Run - The Rigs

February:

The Man Who Sold the World - Midge Ure (2010 Remaster) 

Donna Burke - Sins of the Father

Liz Phair - Got My Own Thing

Seinabo Sey - Pistols At Dawn

Laura Marling - Rambling Man

Willy Moon - Railroad Track

March:

Undiscovered First - Feist

Kubo Soundtrack

Matt Maeson - "Cringe"

Tribe Society - Kings

Elephante - Black Ivory

BISHOP - River

BISHOP - Wild Horses

Lisa Hannigan Oh You Pretty Things

Nina Simone - Feeling Good (Bassnectar Remix)

MIX - MAURICE RAVEL Bolero

Rag-n-Bone Man - Human

April:

The Judge - Twenty One Pilots

Horizon Zero Dawn - Complete Soundtrack (OST)

Believer - Imagine Dragons

Kygo, Selena Gomez - It Ain't Me

K.Flay - Blood In The Cut

Stargate - Waterfall ft. P!nk, Sia

Portugal. The Man - "Feel It Still"

Doc Robinson - Golden Daze

Iko, Iko - the Dixie Cups

Brian Reitzell feat. Mark Lanegan - “In The Pines”

May:

Feist - Century 

Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon - Rafferty

Evil Woman - Electric Light Orchestra

Guardians Inferno (feat. David Hasselhoff)

Moby - Memory Gospel

Above & Beyond - Good For Me

Jack Johnson - The Sharing Song

Lamb - Wise Enough

Otto Knows feat. Avicii - Back Where I Belong

Emmit Fenn - Painting Greys

Bon Iver - Holocene

Made In Heights - Murakami

DVBBS & Shaun Frank - La La Land

Totemo - Host

Years & Years - Worship

Klyne - Paralyzed

Embrace - Goldroom

MØ - Say You'll Be There

Zella Day - Sweet Ophelia

Every Other Freckle - Alt J

Angel Haze - Moonrise Kingdom

BANKS - Better

Marian Hill - Got It

Glass Animals - Holiest Feat. Tei-Shi 

WRITTEN FIC

January:

Piece From a Satyr Play (SW; Reylo; 141 words; Her hair is done up in white ribbons, three enormously lopsided buns trailing down the back of her neck.) 

Wasted Early Sunday Morning (SW; Reylo; 434 words;  Her skin is smoother than his, smoother than many of the people that he’s touched in his life, and he aches to touch it now, watching her stretch lazily in the early morning sunlight, spine arching like a cats.)

Cosmic Love (SGA; Mcshep; 786 words;  There’s solid matter under the palm of his hand, a beating pulse, and a heart to go with it. A living person that Rodney thought that they’d lost.)

can’t help but be wrong in the dark (The Flash; Barry/Julian; 2,942 words;  The day that Allen had snarled an insult back in response to one of Julian’s cutting remarks, he’d gone home and fisted his cock furiously, thinking about the slant of Allen’s mouth and how it would look smeared with come. How Allen’s hair would feel, knotted in Julian’s fingers as he fucked his mouth.

eat flowers, breathe light (SGA; Mcshep; 1585 words;  John gives Rodney a dreamy smile, swaying slightly towards him, and says, “You have really beautiful eyes, you know that?” )

February:

Bifurcation Theory (TW; Stiles/Derek/Lydia; 7208 words; Lydia sucks in another shaky breath, trying to think of a polite way to explain that she's sorry, that this was a mistake, and she didn’t mean to bother him. Just as she’s opening her mouth, Derek sighs gustily, the sound breaking apart with static in her ear. “What’s Stiles done now?” he asks, his tone resigned.

March:

Ain't At Home (Home's Where I'm Going) (Horizon Zero Dawn; Aloy/Vala, Aloy/Avad; 2 Chapters - WIP; 3420 words;  “Not all comforts are bad,” Vala whispers, and Aloy shudders apart.)

April:

Ain't At Home (Home's Where I'm Going) (Horizon Zero Dawn; Aloy/Nil; Aloy/Petra; 2 chapters - WIP; 1872 words;  She’s beautiful, deadly, her eyes gone sharp and flinty as she stares down each of her victims. Nil licks his lips, throat working when she turns to him afterwards, eyes soft again, now that the killing is done.)

love, can't protect you now (SGA; Mcshep; 1635 words;  “When they come,” Rodney tells him quietly, “I won’t kill you.”)

May:

Ain't At Home (Home's Where I'm Going) (Horizon Zero Dawn; Aloy/Erend; Final Chapter; 1539 words) 

Say You'll Be There (The Flash; Barry/Iris, Barry/Thawne; 1159 words;  Barry swallows, fingers tangling with hers, and says, “Storms make me think of him.”)

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January:

Keep Your Heart Inside: A mix for love, hazy and undefined, the kind that leaves you wanting.

February:

N/A

March:

you know the words: a mix for your inner weeaboo.

April:

Cotton Candy Skyline: music for picking at scabs.

May: