#and then Polyphemus throws a second boulder

[blended-ice]

Sure hope a god doesn’t come around and punish him for his hubris

[madrone33]

Number 1 Rule of adapting the Odyssey into EPIC is: if it can be more dramatic, it will be more dramatic.

The Greeks decide to throw the infant Trojan prince from the walls because they're scared he'll try to avenge his family? No, Zeus comes down to personally give Odysseus a vision of being killed and says his family WILL die. Kill the baby that reminds you of your son right now, it's the gods will.

Odysseus goes to greet the inhabitants of an island and gets trapped in a cave for two days by the cyclops that's eating his men one by one? Nope, we got BOSS BATTLE 30v1 in the Ithacans' favour until BAM fourteen pancakes are made by Polyphemus' club and oh shit Polites is DEAD-

Athena is just vaugely absent for the whole journey until the end? We got emotionally charged platonic breakups instead, with yelling and insults and "well I'm breaking up with you FIRST!"

Smooth sailing to Ithaca? STOOOORM-

Odysseus' great-great-great-grandfather giving him a speed boost to help him on his way home? Get ready for trickster wind gods, mischievous winions, and a game that was rigged from the start.

Random-ass suspicious and greedy crew mates open the bag? It's Eurylochus, his second in command, his brother-in-law, the man he trusted, Eurylochus WHYYY

Parking in the wrong harbour and getting boulders thrown at the fleet by angry man-eating giants while Odysseus backs away veeery slowly? Nah Poseidon himself pulls up to dunk on them, and Odysseus has to make a last minute getaway using the power of STOOORM to avoid being curbstomped like his fleet.

Odysseus gets some stronger drugs from a god to make him immune to the other drugs of a goddess? Well these drugs actually give him magic powers which he uses to engage in a Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh style BOSS BATTLE!

Get some closure with dead loved ones and acquaintances, and be the first interviewer of the fallen heroes of past ages? Nope, we just got TRAUMA and a whole boatload of guilt!

A neat outline of what the rest of the journey will look like, a warning against an island of cows that will slow him down, and the way to appease Poseidon? This Tiresias just says "Y'know there used to be a world where you made it home, BUT I DON'T SEE IT NO MORE. IT'S GONE. IT'S OVER. Also, your palace is fucked."

Sailing past the sirens while getting to be the first mortal to hear their song and live? M U R D E R

Sailing past Scylla to avoid Charybdis and accidentally getting six men eaten because he thought he could totally take Scylla, even though Circe said he couldn't, and then he realised he, in fact, cannot take Scylla? ... Eurylochus, light up six torches.

Eurylochus waits till Odysseus is out hunting and then goes behind his back to mutinously rally the crew and feast on some sacred cattle? Betrayal on both sides, stabby stab, K.O., and then Odysseus helplessly watches them make the greatest mistake of their lives as they ignore his pleas.

Quick clean and easy lightning-strike to the ship, leaving Odysseus to cling to some driftwood and paddle away? Zeus himself appears to the mortals, monologues, makes Odysseus be the one to choose, and then smites the whole ship leaving Odysseus to nearly drown anyway.

Telemachus gets advice from a disguised Athena to yell at the suitors and then sail away to look for news of his missing father? Telemachus gets into a full on beatdown with the suitors and gets FIGHT CLUB TRAINING from Athena!

Athena goes "dad I want my favourite mortal back? Did you forget about him? I think you forgot about him" and Zeus instantly replies "nonsense. How could I have forgotten that funny little mortal? Of course you can have him back my sweet favoured child <3" and then Athena skips off to Ithaca? "Father please-" "LIGHTNING BOLT! ANOTHER LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT TO THE FACE HOW DARE YOU ASK ME OF SUCH A THING!"

Poseidon does a double take "wait they let him go?? Oh hell nah!" and then sends a giant fuck off storm for Odysseus to swim through until he reaches the Phaeacians? No, Poseidon's just been there on Ithaca's shores, waiting for eight years, now get in the water BITCH- except Odysseus is just like "oh yeah? Fucking FIGHT ME"

You thought the suitors in the Odyssey were bad? Jorge really just said "dial that shit up to ELEVEN"

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 16: I GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP

Happy Valentine's Day! I love double updates! I'm so close to being done again!

HPHPHPHP

Thalia read the new chapter title with a pit of dread already lodged into her no matter how silly it seemed. She knew Percy was fine, he was sitting right next to her, but there weren't a lot of nice ways to read that without her mind once again showing her distraught sister begging her to help find Percy...

"Thalia!" Like the annoying little brother she missed every day, Percy waved his hands in front of her eyes to get her attention.

"I'm going, I'm going," she huffed, swatting his hand away impatiently.

"You'd think he'd run out of rocks," I muttered.

"I would not actually," Alex shrugged, "you're on an island, it would be weirder if he did."

"I'd just be grateful he's not throwing the sheep at you," Magnus nodded.

"Swim for it!" Grover said.

He and Clarisse plunged into the surf. Annabeth hung on to Clarisse's neck and tried to paddle with one hand, the wet Fleece weighing her down.

Jason whistled in appreciation for Clarisse making that swim weighed down like that, and wished he could shove one of those boulders up Ares's nose.

  But the monster's attention wasn't on the Fleece.

"You, young Cyclops!" Polyphemus roared. "Traitor to your kind!"

Percy ground up his teeth and wished to lob any number of retorts back, but there was no need. He knew Tyson wasn't falling for this.

Tyson froze.

"Don't listen to him!" I pleaded. "Come on."

I pulled Tyson's arm, but I might as well have been pulling a mountain.

Thalia's face twitched unpleasantly, leaving Percy to wonder for a bizarre moment if he'd ever tried to do that.

He turned and faced the older Cyclops. "I am not a traitor."

"You serve mortals!" Polyphemus shouted. "Thieving humans!"

Polyphemus threw his first boulder. Tyson swatted it aside with his fist.

"Not a traitor," Tyson said. "And you are not my kind."

"Death or victory!" Polyphemus charged into the surf, but his foot was still wounded. He immediately stumbled and fell on his face. That would've been funny, except he started to get up again, spitting salt water and growling.

"I never understood why prat falls were supposed to be funny away," Will sniffed, "stupid banana," he trailed off into mutters about the Stoll brothers and their stupid speaker sound effects, but Nico couldn't help but notice he wasn't really upset about whatever this was apparently about as he still smiled.

"Percy!" Clarisse yelled. "Come on!"

They were almost to the ship with the Fleece. If I could just keep the monster distracted a little longer ...

"Go," Tyson told me. "I will hold Big Ugly."

"No! He'll kill you." I'd already lost Tyson once. I wasn't going to lose him again. "We'll fight him together."

"Together," Tyson agreed.

Percy couldn't have been more proud of his little brother, the same guy who'd been afraid of Matt Sloan was now narrowing his calf brown eye with the only dislikable expression Percy had ever seen in his kind-hearted face upon Polyphemus. Percy had to keep reminding himself not to grip his sword, not to charge into battle as he smiled along.

I drew my sword.

Polyphemus advanced carefully, limping worse than ever. But there was nothing wrong with his throwing arm. He chucked his second boulder. I dove to one side, but I still would've been squashed if Tyson's fist hadn't blasted the rock to rubble.

I willed the sea to rise. A twenty-foot wave surged up, lifting me on its crest. I rode toward the Cyclops and kicked him in the eye, leaping over his head as the water blasted him onto the beach.

Jason had total confidence this was going to be perfectly fine for Percy. He'd defeated Ares once, Polyphemus was nothing in comparison.

"Destroy you!" Polyphemus spluttered. "Fleece stealer!"

"You stole the Fleece!" I yelled. "You've been using it to lure satyrs to their deaths!"

"So? Satyrs good eating!"

"The Fleece should be used to heal! It belongs to the children of the gods!"

"I am a child of the gods!" Polyphemus swiped at me, but I sidestepped. "Father Poseidon, curse this thief!" He was blinking hard now, like he could barely see, and I realized he was targeting by the sound of my voice.

'Blitz and I should never go against this guy,' Hearth smiled mockingly. Their friend would spend the whole battle critiquing that wool wardrobe and they'd never get out of there.

'I wouldn't have it any other way,' Magnus fervently agreed.

"Poseidon won't curse me," I said, backing up as the Cyclops grabbed air. "I'm his son, too. He won't play favorites."

Polyphemus roared. He ripped an olive tree out of the side of the cliff and smashed it where I'd been standing a moment before.

"Is virgin olive oil in that mango recipe?" Alex smirked.

"Remind me to send you to Hell's Kitchen," Percy scowled.

"Humans not the same! Nasty, tricky, lying!"

Grover was helping Annabeth aboard the ship. Clarisse was waving frantically at me, telling me to come on.

Tyson worked his way around Polyphemus, trying to get behind him.

"Young one!" the older Cyclops called. "Where are you? Help me!"

Tyson stopped.

"You weren't raised right!" Polyphemus wailed, shaking his olive tree club. "Poor orphaned brother! Help me!"

Percy finally started to feel a little bit of regret for his actions, almost letting Polyphemus live before, if he was about to pull the same trick on Tyson now. Please, please don't let this brute hurt my little brother, he prayed directly to his father, but there was no answer from Poseidon this time.

No one moved. No sound but the ocean and my own heartbeat. Then Tyson stepped forward, raising his hands defensively. "Don't fight, Cyclops brother. Put down the—"

Polyphemus spun toward his voice.

"Tyson!" I shouted.

The tree struck him with such force it would've flattened me into a Percy pizza with extra olives.

Alex definitely made another inappropriate comment under his breath over there, something about Annabeth feeling better, but only Magnus heard and flushed neon red to give it away.

Tyson flew backward, plowing a trench in the sand. Polyphemus charged after him, but I shouted, "No!" and lunged as far as I could with Riptide. I'd hoped to sting Polyphemus in the back of the thigh, but I managed to leap a little bit higher.

Even Thalia winced along with all the boys in the room at the prospect of getting, ahem, a scratch there...let alone that!

"Blaaaaah!" Polyphemus bleated just like his sheep, and swung at me with his tree.

"You almost deserved that one," Jason muttered, though he still wished he could leap up and help any second too.

I dove, but still got raked across the back by a dozen jagged branches. I was bleeding and bruised and exhausted. The guinea pig inside me wanted to bolt. But I swallowed down my fear.

At least Nico didn't burst into hysterical laughter at the idea again, but there was certainly a new air about him. The feeling of awe, longing, even envy for Percy had diluted enough he just chuckled a bit at the idea before pressing his lips together so Thalia could keep reading.

Polyphemus swung the tree again, but this time I was ready. I grabbed a branch as it passed, ignoring the pain in my hands as I was jerked skyward, and let the Cyclops lift me into the air.

Magnus leaned close to Alex this time and muttered, "I wondered where the whomping tree was this book."

"And Percy even made an effort to mess up the roots," he added salaciously, causing Magnus to close his eyes and turn away lest he burst into hysterical laughter next.

At the top of the arc I let go and fell straight against the giant's face—landing with both feet on his already damaged eye.

The collective wince around the room and spastic blinking, even Thalia rubbing her own eye for a moment before she could keep going wasn't exactly the sympathy pain Polyphemus deserved after all he'd done, but involuntary all the same.

Polyphemus yowled in pain. Tyson tackled him, pulling him down. I landed next to them— sword in hand, within striking distance of the monster's heart. But I locked eyes with Tyson, and I knew I couldn't do it. It just wasn't right.

Jason had never looked at Percy with a stranger expression. Percy stared back defiantly and just knew this guy was forming a whole lecture in his head about what an idiot he was, how it was just a monster, and Percy was still prepared now like he had been before to defend his choice every step of the way.

He didn't though, just turned back to watching Thalia read with a stubbornly straight face, eerily like the one's she got when she was keeping her thoughts from Percy what was about to happen. Percy didn't know what to make of it and wondered if Jason himself did. If something in his past he didn't even know about was bothering this about him, the poor guy probably wouldn't even know.

"Let him go," I told Tyson. "Run."

With one last mighty effort, Tyson pushed the cursing older Cyclops away, and we ran for the surf.

"I will smash you.'" Polyphemus yelled, doubling over in pain. His enormous hands cupped over his eye.

Tyson and I plunged into the waves.

"Where are you?" Polyphemus screamed. He picked up his tree club and threw it into the water. It splashed off to our right.

I summoned up a current to carry us, and we started gaining speed. I was beginning to think we might make it to the ship, when Clarisse shouted from the deck, "Yeah, Jackson! In your face, Cyclops!"

"Silence is golden and duct tape is silver," Will groaned, thinking he might have to have a roll on him if he ever found out Clarisse went out on a quest again.

"You think that girl would learn her lesson," Nico agreed, maybe she needed to rip her own arm off and shove it down her throat to take a hint.

Shut up, I wanted to yell.

"Rarrr!" Polyphemus picked up a boulder. He threw it toward the sound of Clarisse's voice, but it fell short, narrowly missing Tyson and me.

"Yeah, yeah!" Clarisse taunted. "You throw like a wimp! Teach you to try marrying me, you idiot!"

"Clarisse!" I yelled, unable to stand it. "Shut up!"

Too late. Polyphemus threw another boulder, and this time I watched helplessly as it sailed over my head and crashed through the hull of the Queen Anne's Revenge.

Percy gasped and spluttered out a no, but Thalia wasn't giving him much time to freak out as she kept reading in a blur. She was already reading with that same stubbornly straight face. Whatever worries or fears she might have for her friends, she was keeping it all in check until they were out of there.

You wouldn't believe how fast a ship can sink.

"Didn't it take the Titanic three hours to sink?" Alex asked.

"Different kind of ship," Percy reminded grimly, "she sunk in five minutes, easy, and was going to take us all with her."

The Queen Anne's Revenge creaked and groaned and listed forward like it was going down a playground slide.

I cursed, willing the sea to push us faster, but the ship's masts were already going under.

"Dive!" I told Tyson. And as another rock sailed over our heads, we plunged underwater.

"Shit, shit, how do we abort the mission," Percy muttered, whishing he could shake Thalia to make her read faster or just launch himself into the wreck to get them all and knowing neither would do any good. So he was just left to sit here and do nothing, which was somehow as terrible a torment as listening to this!

My friends were sinking fast, trying to swim, without luck, in the bubbly trail of the ship's wreckage.

Not many people realize that when a ship goes down, it acts like a sinkhole, pulling down everything around it.

"A fun fact I hope I'll never need," Magnus whispered. Annabeth had to be carried out there, she was doomed if something wasn't figured out, now!

Clarisse was a strong swimmer, but even she wasn't making any progress. Grover frantically kicked with his hooves. Annabeth was hanging on to the Fleece, which flashed in the water like a wave of new pennies.

I swam toward them, knowing that I might not have the strength to pull my friends out.

Worse, pieces of timber were swirling around them; none of my power with water would help if I got whacked on the head by a beam.

We need help, I thought.

Yes. Tyson's voice, loud and clear in my head.

I looked over at him, startled. I'd heard Nereids and other water spirits speak to me underwater before, but it never occurred to me ... Tyson was a son of Poseidon. We could communicate with each other.

Magnus had so many questions about how that worked, but mostly he felt bad for Tyson. If he'd tried calling out for Percy like this after Clarisse's ship had blown up and been so scared to find no answer from Percy.

Rainbow, Tyson said.

I nodded, then closed my eyes and concentrated, adding my voice to Tyson's: RAINBOW! We need you!

Immediately, shapes shimmered in the darkness below—three horses with fish tails, galloping upward faster than dolphins. Rainbow and his friends glanced in our direction and seemed to read our thoughts. They whisked into the wreckage, and a moment later burst upward in a cloud of bubbles—Grover, Annabeth, and Clarisse each clinging to the neck of a hippocampus.

"I am giving that horse-fish all of his favorites when we get back," Percy flopped back into his seat like a dying fish he was so exhausted constantly thinking everybody he cared about was about to die! Why couldn't it just be him, he knew he was alive!

Rainbow, the largest, had Clarisse. He raced over to us and allowed Tyson to grab hold of his mane. His friend who bore Annabeth did the same for me.

We broke the surface of the water and raced away from Polyphemus's island. Behind us, I could hear the Cyclops roaring in triumph, "I did it! I finally sank Nobody!"

I hoped he never found out he was wrong.

"See, I was hoping for the opposite," Alex challenged. "I want to know how he leaves the island, and if he comes after you surely you can just defeat him again."

"I'll stick with Rainbow," Percy shook his head vigorously.

We skimmed across the sea as the island shrank to a dot and then disappeared.

"Did it," Annabeth muttered in exhaustion. "We ..."

She slumped against the neck of the hippocampus and instantly fell asleep.

Percy's hands twitched. To hold her steady, to pull her close, to wrap the fleece tighter around her. She was okay, Tyson was alive, Grover was traumatized but still kicking, even Clarisse had survived. They did it. They really managed to pull this off.

I didn't know how far the hippocampi could take us. I didn't know where we were going. I just propped up Annabeth so she wouldn't fall off, covered her in the Golden Fleece that we'd been through so much to get, and said a silent prayer of thanks.

Which reminded me ... I still owed the gods a debt.

"You're a genius," I told Annabeth quietly.

Percy laughed hardest of all, but the others had their share of fun giggling along Percy had kept his promise. Technically. Nobody said she had to be awake to hear it, and they liked to think Annabeth would be kissing her idiot right now for this.

Then I put my head against the Fleece, and before I knew it, I was asleep, too.

"That one was short," Thalia said with a sigh of relief as she got up to hand the book to Nico.

"Technically everybody went down with the ship, and Nobody," Nico smiled as he took it without a second thought.