#and then they all became joey. oops

[sp7]

the hatchetfield universe or as i like to call it, the joey richter plays every type of guy imaginable universe.

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

2023 writing gif-making round up

Rules (adapted for fic, gifs, art, etc.): Share what you made this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you made or just the projects you're most excited about. Thank you for the tag, @thisbuildinghasfeelings!

January

Um. Coming to terms with the idea of 2023? I dunno. But certainly nothing creative happened here.

February

Boyfriend → husband (Schitt's Creek) — A side-by-side comparison of how David refers to Patrick in season 4 and season 6. (Brought to you courtesy of a lovely text post by @jesuisici33.)

David questioning Stevie's motives (Schitt’s Creek) — A fun look at David's expressive face. 😄

March and April

An existential crisis. Or two. Or five. 🙃 Managed to finish absolutely nothing.

I did come in contact with a lot of 911 Lone Star content, however. Which explains everything that follows. Oops?

May

Marry me. (911 Lone Star) — Ah, my first gif set for this show. A parallel of TK referring to Carlos as his husband when he proposes, and then during their wedding ceremony.

Wedding → honeymoon (911 Lone Star) — Holding hands right after they first kiss as husbands. (Promo footage that didn't actually make the final episode cut). And holding hands poolside on their honeymoon.

Note: From here on out, everything in this list is for Lone Star, unless otherwise specified.

June

TK and Andrea helping Carlos get ready — A parallel set highlighting similar moments from Best of Men and a deleted scene from In Sickness and in Health

We almost forgot. Your boutonnière. — In which I attempt to put a couple pieces of unaired footage back together: the deleted scene with Andrea and Carlos + promo footage of what must be the same scene

Heart tutorial — Danielle Savre and Stefania Spampinato teach Rafael Silva how to make a heart sign with his hands at the First Responders Reunion 🫶

July

🤨 (affectionate) — Listen. I love this dynamic. Had to do the parallel set.

Nothing ever stays the same, Carlos. — A look at TK and Carlos' conversation in 2x04 in parallel with Carlos' wedding vows. The first set I wanted to do for Lone Star. Took me a while to get to it because I wasn't sure how to put it together.

August

TK needs you all to RSVP — My first attempt at this type of post. Incorrect quotes? Text post memes? I don't know what to call them, really. But it was definitely fun. And then it became the thing I did most often. Lol.

And if it never changes? // What if everything changes again? — A parallel set for me and ~5 other people, putting Tarlos in 2x04 side by side with Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

September

You're a menace to society *smooch smooch smooch* — My next incorrect quotes/meme post. And my contribution to ascribing cat-like behavior to TK.

I like him a normal amount — A fandom reaction gif, essentially. Courtesy of Joey Tribbiani on Friends.

Love is stored in humans finding out we can make heart shapes with our hands — Had to revisit the heart tutorial for Rafa. This time as one of the incorrect quotes/text posts.

When you can be silly and slutty with them — Oh, I had fun with this look at TK and Carlos' relationship. 😍

Pretty sure this happened at least once — In which we learn TK was seen trying to catch a frog outside the firehouse. Obviously.

October

Carlos is lit like an angel — Commentary on that beautiful moment from 2x02 where TK falls into Carlos' arms.

I put my emotions into my cooking. // This tastes… horny? — A playful and sexy look at Carlos in the kitchen with TK, and then heading upstairs… 😏

I adore you. Why are you like this? I’m going to kiss you with such fervor… — Oh, just exploring the Tarlos relationship dynamic with a text post and a scene from 3x18.

November

Unedited Gif Game (26 entries so far) — This has been very fun. I think it was good for me to have a bunch of low-stakes gif projects where I was not in charge. Lol. I will spare you individual links to each of them. But they should all be in the tag linked here. I will probably make this an ongoing thing, as long as it's not annoying everyone.

December

Episode vs. Promo: Yee-Haw (1x02) — Let's start diving into some more unaired footage, shall we? And let's start with some alt takes on that first make-out scene.

Missing moments: then and now — From an almost-kiss in 1x02 to an alt kiss from their wedding.

You're a miracle, TK Strand. My miracle. — A rather large close-up gif of that alt wedding kiss. Why? So we can see the teardrop that beads up under Carlos' eye.

Tags below the cut…

Tagging: @rmd-writes, @reyesstrand, @strandnreyes, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @carlos-in-glasses, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @birdclowns, @welcometololaland, @lizzie-bennetdarcy, @rosedavid, @heartstringsduet, @noxsoulmate, @chicgeekgirl89, @paperstorm, @tailoredshirt, @guardian-angle22, @swearphil, @carlos-tk, @three-drink-amy, @orchidscript, @danieljradcliffe, @lightningboltreader + open tag!

[albertbutyoucancallmebert]

@stuckinuniformdevelopment

(prev) Teddy watched Sherri Jr. type in equal parts concern, anticipation, and fascination. It was a good thing that they had a way to communicate other than body language. Otherwise he’d inadvertently repeat the same mistake until he gradually realized it through trial and error. When her text came through he started to reach over to pet her before remembering why he shouldn’t before his body reminded him. So he settled for holding his hand out and hoping that she understood what he was offering. “Oh Sherri..,” Teddy softly said as he softly smiled at her. “I’m sorry. I thought that you got worked up because you wanted to play and, well..,” he paused to awkwardly chuckle. “I can’t throw well at the moment.” “Besides, the possibility of you apologizing never crossed my mind because it was my fault for being thoughtless. I just placed it all on my lap— and by extension, you— without thinking about what would happen if you got up.” Then Teddy turned to Bert. “Is it alright if we move closer to the counter? Or do you have a side table I can borrow?”

Bert picked up his phone to read what Sherri sent Teddy. He snorted and chuckled at it. What a goofball she was. And yet he was so proud of her. 

Sherri Jr stared up blankly at Teddy as he was apologizing and explaining himself. Wait… Yeah, that’s right… Who ever said Sherri was supposed to be a table? No one! She was a rat! Teddy was at fault here! Well now what… Should she still try to give him the protozoa when she no longer had anything to apologize for? Hmph! She thought not!

However, Teddy did apologize… And Sherri forgave him. But how should she express that when father took back his phone? Ah, she had the perfect idea. She’ll offer her beloved Joey Protozoa toy to him as a forgiveness gift. And how convenient, she had it right in her mouth! She waddled back over to Teddy and dropped the plush in his lap once more. 

Bert readily got up and a moment later wheeled over a steel medical tray to use as a side table. 

“I figure you won’t be able to see the show if we were to move back to the counter!,” he jested. Then he suddenly looked as if he became shocked with himself.

Oops! For a while, after observing his friend constantly squinting at distant things, Bert had suspected Teddy maybe had vision issues. He felt bad making light of that when he never even directly confirmed it with him.

[voraciousvore]

In the Belly of the Giant (38/39)

***Contains mouthplay***

Chapter 38

Eren couldn’t put off her responsibilities any longer. She had avoided the question long enough, and tried to push it out of her mind, but she couldn’t continue in this manner indefinitely. She had to make a decision about her job. 

After being eaten so many times, she didn’t think she’d be able to go inside any giant mouths voluntarily. It had been bad enough when Jake the Snake shut his jaws around her and wouldn’t let her out of his filthy mouth, but being swallowed was a whole different matter. Eren was afraid. Even if there wasn’t any real danger of becoming someone’s lunch, she suspected just being inside a mouth, surrounded by teeth and pink flesh and saliva, would trigger a panic attack. 

She thought she might try to acclimate herself by going inside a mouth she knew was safe, like Joey’s. However, Joey flatly refused to allow her inside his mouth. He couldn’t stand the thought of his vulnerable girlfriend being in his mouth, even if he didn’t swallow her. He still felt horror at the memory of her moving on his tongue, sliding down his throat, and thrashing desperately in his belly. He never wanted to go through that nightmare again. He didn’t know how Eren could be brave enough to even attempt to go back to work. 

Eren wanted to say goodbye to her coworkers, so she decided to hand in her resignation in person. She asked Joey to take her to the clinic and keep her safe, and Joey reluctantly approved. He knew, logically, they couldn’t stay locked up in their apartment forever. Eren was morose about losing her employment, a career she had trained so hard for and previously enjoyed, so he made an attempt to see the positives. 

“Your boss was a jerk there anyways,” Joey said as he carried her along the sidewalk. “It was time for you to move on to something better, something different.” 

“Yeah,” Eren mumbled half-heartedly. 

“Maybe you could get a job with Stephanie at the nail salon. She mentioned before, with your small size, you’d be really good at doing the nail art,” Joey suggested. 

“I guess,” Eren replied listlessly. “It’s not really my thing though. Plus, I’m not very artistic.” 

“Sure you are! You could paint little flowers on nails, couldn’t you? Or… um… I don’t know what else they paint on nails. I’m not the type of person to get a manicure.” Joey chuckled as he imagined how silly his manly hands would look with long pink nails. 

“Yeah, I suppose I could.” Eren didn’t sound very enthusiastic. She was far more enthusiastic about teeth cleaning, but that was in the past now. 

Joey walked up to the clinic and went inside, carefully scanning the room for any potential threats as was his habit. Eren was hit with the familiar smell of fluoride and toothpaste and felt a pang of sadness as she remembered how fulfilling her job had been for her. She would miss this place. 

“Oh, hi, Joey. What are you doing here?” the giantess secretary asked, surprised to see him. She brushed away a strand of her auburn hair and adjusted her purple glasses. She did a double take when she spotted Eren sitting in Joey’s palm. 

“EREN!” she squealed. She practically vaulted over the reception desk in her rush to reach Eren. She grabbed Eren out of Joey’s hand and gave her a generous hug, nearly shoving her tiny body into her cleavage. 

Eren flailed her arms, slapping the secretary on one of her bulging breasts. “Audrey, you’re crushing me…” she gasped. 

“Oops! Sorry!” Audrey apologized, pulling Eren out from between her boobs and holding her gingerly, in a more civilized manner. “Oh, Eren… I’m so glad to see you’re okay! I was so worried about you!” Her face contorted with emotion. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you…” 

Eren patted her hand with sympathy. “It’s okay, Audrey, you didn’t know. All that matters is that I’m back now.” 

“Are you… coming back to work?” the secretary asked hesitantly. 

Eren’s expression dropped and her eyes became sad. “Actually… I came here to formally resign. I-I can’t do this sort of work anymore, after what happened…” Her voice choked up with sadness. 

“Oh… I understand, Eren. Let me get the boss for you.” Audrey looked sad at the news but handed Eren back over to Joey and called in Dr. Larson. Eren internally prepared herself to speak with her former boss. Her interactions with him were rarely pleasant, so she wasn’t sure what to expect. She didn’t know how he would react to the news of her quitting either. She was grateful to have Joey with her, as a giant presence on her side. Being chewed out by an angry giant when she was standing so small at table height was always an intimidating experience. 

Dr. Larson came into the waiting room, wringing his hands. Eren immediately noticed a significant change from his usual demeanor. He typically marched stiffly into a room with an aggressive attitude and a sullen glare. This time, though, his shoulders were hunched, he shuffled his feet, and he looked a bit sheepish. He looked at Eren and licked his lips nervously. 

“Eren… it’s nice to see you. Are you… doing okay?” Dr. Larson asked her timidly. Eren nodded coolly. He took a deep breath. “That’s… that’s good.” There was an awkward pause. Eren opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word her old boss cut her off. “Look, Eren, I wanted to apologize. I blame myself for what happened. I shouldn’t have pushed you like I did, and I shouldn’t have left you alone in the office. I’m sorry.” 

Eren was astonished by this new development, but managed to reply, “I forgive you.” 

“And… I’m sorry for not valuing you more. We’ve lost a substantial chunk of our business since you left. I-I guess I took you for granted.” He ran a hand through his white hair. 

“I… actually came here to resign,” Eren admitted. “I don’t think I’ll be able to work here anymore.” 

“Oh… I see…” Dr. Larson fidgeted with discomfort. “I figured you might feel that way. Just know, if you ever want your old job back, it’s yours. And know that we’d never let anything like that happen again. We’d watch over you and keep you safe. And I’ll let you work at your own pace. I won’t rush you or overbook you anymore. Anything you want, it’s yours.” 

Eren was gobsmacked. She didn’t know what to say. Finally, she responded, “I’ll… I’ll give it some thought.” 

“Take your time and think it over. Get back to me when you’re ready. Okay?” the dentist said. 

“Okay,” Eren confirmed, casting her eyes down at her hands. Dr. Larson retreated back to his office. As Joey and Eren left, Audrey gave them a wave of farewell and a sweet smile, which the couple were happy to reciprocate. 

Eren rode in the palm of Joey’s hand in silence, deep in thought. She had been so sure of herself coming in, that she wouldn’t be able to work anymore. Yet, she had been so sad to leave her job. Now, with her boss’s assurances of safety and a better working environment, she wondered if it would be possible to overcome her trauma and reclaim her position. 

“What are you thinking, Eren?” Joey inquired. 

“I’m thinking… I don’t know what to think. Honestly, I want my old job back. I just don’t know if I can do it,” Eren evinced. 

Joey sighed. “I thought you’d say that.” He paused. “I guess… I’ll let you practice on me. To get you comfortable again.” He gulped. “You understand, of course… it just makes me really nervous…” 

Joey and Eren had not discussed their imprisonment together at all. They had kept those unpleasant memories buried, not wanting to talk about what happened. They preferred to live in the present, and to love and support each other as best they could. However, Joey felt now he needed to express himself, to get his feelings off his chest. 

“I was so scared, Eren. It was horrible, being forced to eat you alive and thinking you were going to die inside me. I felt responsible for your suffering. Eren, I’m so sorry…” Joey’s breathing quickened as his emotions heightened. “I was worried you’d be afraid of me, or even come to hate me, for what I’d done.” 

“Oh, Joey…” Eren expressed. “I never knew you felt that way! I love you to the ends of the Earth, Joey! I’d never blame you for what that monster Trent made you do!” Joey sighed in relief, to hear those comforting words from her. 

“And Joey… to be honest, it wasn’t that bad, to be in your belly. Considering the circumstances we were under, I felt safer inside your stomach than anywhere outside where Trent could grab me,” Eren confessed. “Not to say that I necessarily enjoyed it or anything, but I liked being close to you, in such an intimate way.” She blushed slightly at the recollection. 

“R-really?” Joey responded, baffled. “You mean that?” 

“With all my heart,” Eren answered. 

“You’re so wonderful, Eren!” Joey gushed, bathing her in a sensual kiss. She leaned into his plush lips and kissed his upper lip in return. By now, they had made it back to their apartment. Joey made sure to lock the door behind him, for safety. 

“Well, you want to give this a try?” Joey asked her. “Are you ready?” Eren nodded. Joey sat down on the couch. He felt very weird about what he was going to do next, but if it was for Eren’s wellbeing, he was willing. “Okay.” He raised his girlfriend up to his mouth and opened wide. He felt Eren step into his mouth, her miniscule feet squishing into his tongue. Now that Joey was calmer, unlike the last time she was inside his mouth, he noticed how surprisingly delectable she tasted. He had sampled her flavor before, of course, but rarely did he have her entire body in his mouth. She settled in on his tongue. He wanted to ask how she was doing, but he couldn’t say anything with his mouth full. 

Joey’s salivary glands started to work overtime at the flavorsome morsel of woman in his mouth. He didn’t anticipate this response at all, but he was actually enjoying having her inside his mouth, perhaps more than he should. He had a spontaneous desire to close his mouth around her and play with her on his tongue, roll her small body around. Maybe even swallow her. He repressed this urge with distress. He was greatly disturbed by this unexpected change. He felt extraordinary guilt the last time he gulped her down, so why did he want to now? He didn’t understand this new instinct. 

Eren started to quiver on his tongue. She curled up into a little ball, and he tasted salty drops of tears. He realized she was panicking and gently spat her out into his hand. “Eren, are you alright?” 

She looked up at him with fear. Joey felt a twinge of guilt at his strange thoughts earlier. “I don’t think I can do this, Joey,” she cried. “I got scared.” Joey’s heart melted and he wrapped his hands around her tiny body lovingly. 

“It’s okay Eren. You did good. Maybe when you’re up for it, we can try again later,” Joey reassured her. He licked his lips. He knew he’d be down for it anytime. 

Chapter 39

Chapter 1

[mahgck]

[points directly at you] you’re the one putting empireSMP on my dashboard!

tell me about it :D

EMPIRES IS A LOT OF FUN!!!! BUCKLE IN FOR A LONG POST LMAO

basically there are 12 ccs who all claimed one biome to build their "empire" that they are the ruler of, and they also each have their own primary export for their kingdom to trade with instead of a common currency like diamonds.

Theres lore that goes on, a lot of alliances, and a scary demon boy that joey graceffa is trying to get with. Characters are as follows, with spoilers to a minimum:

Scott Smajor: elven king of rivendell, in the mountains, export being wool and gold. Was content to Stay Out Of demon shenanigans until he discovered that Oops, Hes The Main Character

Shubble: ruler of the undergrove (mushrooms/cottagecore vibes), who accidentally brought the demon into everyones lands and is now trying to fix things. Export is any and all fungus related materials

Jimmy: the codfather. Has beef with salmon, sausage, and fwhip, because they stole his codfather head and it became a whole big thing. Very fun perspective to watch, export is slime

Katherine: queen of the overgrown, in a flower forest. Working to use Magic Nature Healing Growth to counteract the demons corruption and is also probably part of a weird nature cult. dont worry about it. export is dyes and flowers

Lizzie (ldshadowlady): ocean queen, has an army of axolotls and will kill you if you cross her. Married to joel, and has had Beef with fwhip and joey. Export is prismarine

Joel (smallishbeans): king of mezalea, in the mesa, export is terracotta, concrete, and moss. hasnt done too much lore, hes too busy building his stupidly massive megabase. In his defense, it looks incredible. Canonically married lizzie

Geminitay: wizard of the crystal cliffs, export is amethyst/other magicy things. Part of the wither rose alliance with fwhip, pearl, and sausage (🥺), and theyre against jimmys faction of things. Sort of. shes involved in the lore a lot, and has had a few encounters with the demon

Fwhip: Likes corruption, but not the demon corruption- the REDSTONE corruption. Distinction is important. King shit. One of my fave povs. He exports explosives and rockets, and has done some cool lore stuff

Sausage: incredible builder boy, sacrifices blood sheep for power, and funky with the demon. Watch his pov if you want Cool Other-Side-Of-Things Lore and Cool Builds. His export is iron

Pearlescentmoon: exports sugarcane at the price of completing her elytra challenge. cool farm kingdom, currently growing both a regular beanstalk and a corruption beanstalk just to see what happens. Part of the wither rose alliance, doesnt have too many eps out though :(

Pixlriffs: desert kingdom! Copper export, Does more technical stuff then most of the others, and is keeping track of every single death on the server in his cool monument

Joey Graceffa: king of the Lost Empire, in the jungle, and exports totems. Absolutely Down For Demon Town, and is helping the demon with its goals.

Something else really cool is that everyone has custom textures! So villagers in one kingdom look different then ones in others, and the players have unique looking elytras, pets, and tools! It just adds to the experience a lot :). Id start out with maybe joel or gems perspective and go from there!

[ramble-writes]

can i get Joey,, or honestly anything with legion please 👉👈

I like one (1) boy out of Legion. And that is Joey. So you're getting Joey! Also. . . A n g s t

-

-Since Legion is set in Canada, back in the time of the 70s-possibly still now, there's really bad racism

-Though in Ormond according to where it's set, it's very low racism but it's still there

-Joey has a brother (MIA) and they live with their Mama and Pops

-Pops managed to get a job as a police man and Mama is a cleaning lady

-one day while Joey and his brother is at school, they get called in and sent home because of their mom

-father was killed in action by his partner and the suspect was blamed for it

-day 1 after the death of their father Joey sneaked some gin (father would say he used to drink but stopped after the brother was born)

-not many family members came to the funeral and none stuck around

-middle school hit and Joey still snuck some gin though only did when it came to being bullied

-high school hits and he tries to cut back but gets back on it when the builying starts up

-anniversary of father's death comes and oop boy tries to drink himself to death (by this point he's friends with Julie)

-instead went to Julie's house and crashed there since she knows about his father and she did help him out

-(there was one time they both got drunk and fucked)

-later introduced to Susie and became friends that way (hello crush)

-by this point Joey literally fucked around and could care less about jealous boyfriends getting mad he fucked their girlfriends

-Start of senior year and this is where they meet Frank (and yes they did become close)

-At the party Julie threw for Joey at losing another job, first time he drank himself to pass out

-and then we all know what happens from there with Legion forming!

-to this day in the realm, Joey does drink when stressed and just wants to go home

-oh yeah

-He's a big ass Mama's Boy

[crockettmarcel]

i've never watched this show but the ladies you keep posting abt are pretty so tell me abt them

I think you should watch it <3 as a treat <3

anyway,, Ava and Sarah,,,, my loves

idk how much you’ve picked up about them from my posts so I’ll just tell you whatever comes to mind <3 (under a read more bc it’s gonna be long oops)

Sarah is literally just. baby. she’s the one with the curly hair, and she was originally introduced as a fourth-year med student doing her ED rotation (which definitely went on Way longer than it should have but uh. that’s med’s shitty writing for you <3)

she’s so insanely smart but she’s not that confident in her abilities, especially around patients, and it’s :( bc ma'am. you’re the best

tbh seeing her confidence develop during season one was so nice because she became more a part of the ED family (which is why it was so hard when she left Med) and she was finally seeing how smart she actually was and how much potential she has!! she’s the best girl <3

also the way she said she didn’t want to work with patients which is why she was going into pathology, and then she ended up becoming a psychiatrist? incredible and I love that growth for her!!

I rlly believe that season 2 was the best for her - her relationship with Dr Charles was good and healthy (I’m genuinely so sad that the writers ruined it for them because it was obvious how much she looked up to him and like. she literally told Noah that he was the dad she’d never had!!! what the fuck why couldn’t the writers let them be happy!!!), and it was before her PTSD and everything that happened with her dad. she was allowed to have a good, happy storyline, and even though she was dating Joey for most of it, her character didn’t revolve around him the way other female characters do (they’re literally all written around men and it’s so frustrating)

everything went downhill for her in season 3 and I’m still mad about it ngl. like. she got PTSD from Dr Charles being shot, and as she was starting to recover, her dad turned up out of the blue and fucked her life up even more >:(

I guess the med writers can’t have any women be happy for too long :/

(also she looked hot in her final scene. not to make this gay but uh. her jacket is gorgeous and she’s perfect and I love her)

(also also,, my main headcanons for Sarah are that she’s autistic and either gay or bi bc like. have you seen her. there’s no way that bitch is straight lmao)

as for Ava,,, she had so much potential when they introduced her, then as is the pattern with med, as soon as she started dating a guy everything went downhill (but she couldn’t have dated a woman bc med hates gay people)

like. at first she was this incredibly intelligent CT surgeon (better than Connor, as she was Dr Latham’s first choice for the CT fellowship) who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and do what she had to to succeed in a male-dominated field. like yeah, maybe she was a bit of a bitch, but who can blame her really :/ also she’s hot so like. if she wanted to be a bitch to me I’d let her

anyway. her initial conflicts with Connor were actually interesting, because it’s obvious he’s never really been challenged before, and as a result has a bit of a god complex. even as they warmed up to each other, there was still a friendly rivalry, but it was nice

(we’re not going to talk about the fact that she was introduced simply as an antagonist to Connor bc I can’t bring myself to think about that rn)

but of course they had to throw in a romantic relationship, and because she pretty much only spent time with people from CT, it had to be with Connor <3 they’d have honestly been better as friends because literally everything went downhill from here

Ava in season 4 is almost a completely different person to when she was introduced. she was suddenly obsessed with Connor, and was literally willing to do anything (including commit murder!! wtf!!!!) to be with him?? the agency and self-assuredness (idk if that’s a word) that she somewhat had in s3 was suddenly gone, and had been replaced with a personality disorder that the writers only mentioned after she’d left the show

(it genuinely seemed more like an afterthought to explain away their bad writing and inconsistent characterisation rather than an actual plot point, but that’s just me)

anyway like. not to keep making things gay but she genuinely had Big Gay Energy (the med writers love making the gayest characters possible then having them be canonically straight, but that’s a post for later) and her storyline would have been so much better if she Had been a lesbian

there wouldn’t have been any of that rh*kker drama, which means it’s unlikely she would have murdered someone and then [redacted] herself to avoid prison

and like. even if they hadn’t had her date Sarah, it would have been nice to see some lesbian rep, and avoid the toxic relationship that was her and Connor

idk I just think the med writers could have done so much better with her, and they did Norma (and Colin) dirty by fucking their characters up that much

anyway to conclude. Ava and Sarah are both perfect and also have the biggest gay energy and I love them a lot <3 if you’ve made it all the way to here please know I’d die for you ajdhsjdhsk

[therucrap]

Holler at me I know you know me, holler at me I know you know me! This week’s gathering of the Tamisha Iman fan club will now commence! Enjoy this week’s RuCrap and please subscribe and share!

Our exhausted divas return to the Werk Room after Joey’s shocking elimination (i.e. the judges told Lala that she had the worst look in Drag Race history for a look challenge and she lipsync’d herself safe) and an eventful untucked in which Kandy and Tamisha’s bubbling tit-for-tat escalated into a wild shouting match. Tamisha goaded the defensive Kandy by reiterating that she doesn’t like “certain people” in the competition while staring Kandy directly in the eyes, dinging the time-to-make-good-TV bell in Kandy’s head that led to a full arm-waving, storming-back-and-forth, separate-the-groups screaming match. Tempers are still hot with our WWE superstars and Tamisha has established that her catchphrase is “I said what I said” so they decide to call it a night and head back to their hotel rooms to take their heels off, relax, and simmer in their swirling unresolved emotions like normal people.

Our queens return to the Werk Room with giant nervous smiles (read: everyone’s exhausted and would rather address that later) and Jer-Ru Springer enters and tells her trusty ratings grabbers to split into pairs. The gals find their BFF’s except for Tamisha and Elliott who wind up alone then lock eyes and awkwardly shuffle towards each other. Her holiness Tamisha immediately consoles her accidental teammate who is visibly dejected after another week of floating amongst the established cliques and I get the feeling that Tamisha, haus mother and unshakable rumbler, honestly doesn’t care that no one picked her because she isn’t of this world and shouldn’t be judged by mere mortals anyway. For the mini challenge they’ll be creating a dress using Spoonflower Wallpaper - a company that we learn exists - and it’s surprisingly our odd couple of last picked queens who rally and snatch the win with a leopard look and a bunch of Carol Baskin jokes that remind us this was filmed last year in the brief period of time that Tiger King was all we talked about as a society until it abruptly wasn’t.

For the maxi challenge our groups will be performing a disco-mentary and during dance rehearsal we learn that recent cancer survivor Tamisha is still wearing an ostomy bag but hasn’t told anyone in fear of sympathy, a reality that sinks in once she finds out that her choreo involves a hula hoop which would strike fear in most people above the age of 14 much less an American icon with a tube taped to an open wound in her stomach. The queens hustle getting ready for the disco-mentary and when the subject turns to growing pains we learn that Olivia was diagnosed obese in high school and lost weight once she joined theater, came out, found her confidence, and became the glowing cherub we see today. Tamisha, whose childhood nickname was iconically “Booty,” found respite in cheerleading despite her grandmother discouraging something so feminine but was encouraged by a community leader who wanted her to follow her dreams of making it in Hollywood, which she will do if I have anything to say about it. Ryan Murphy do your thing! Kandy opens up about her mother who was in and out of jail when she was younger which led to Kandy’s hard exterior and general defensiveness considering the fact that she had to fend for herself.

It’s showtime and we head to the runway where the judge of The Real - Loni Love, joins the singer of The Realness - RuPaul, for a musical history lesson on disco and a deceptively difficult Little Black Dress runway. The disco-mentary goes off without a hitch and and the judges critique Tamisha for being too timid, Kandy for staying in her comfort zone and not embodying disco, and Utica for relying on wackiness once again. If these critiques sound vague it’s because this is one of those weeks towards the middle of the season where everyone did well enough so eliminations have more to do with production deciding whose story is getting tied up than anything else. They give kudos to Tina and Elliott who danced their asses off but critique their safe runway looks and it’s Olivia who snatches the win with great hair all around and a particularly infectious performance. Also, if you’re wondering how Tina shoehorned orange, red, and yellow into a Little Black Dress runway well it was tastefully of course... by walking out in a painters coverall that unzipped to reveal a black velour dress with orange and yellow hand prints on the boobs!

Kandy and Tamisha are determined to be the bottom two and face off to the seminal disco classic... “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops)” by Blu Cantrell? You can’t tell me there wasn’t a single goddamn Donna Summers song available at a similar rate. One could say they really dropped the disco ball on that one. In the end Tamisha is sent home after an emotional lip sync and immediately hugs the sobbing Kandy which immediately squashes the beef. We hate to see this icon fall but safe to say she has a spot on All-stars. Actually screw All-Stars. Stephen Spielberg! Tyler Perry! I wanna see scripts on this woman’s desk by Monday!

Thanks for reading and please share and subscribe! See you next week!

[sleepfight]

fc5 questionnaire: 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 11, 14, 19, 26, 29 oops, my hand slipped >:)c

What’s their name?

Bartholomew Esther Rook, goes by Bart.

How old are they?

23 during the events of FC5.

What’s their style like?

Messy and ratty. He hates shopping so when he finds something he likes, he will wear it until it’s literally falling apart beyond any hope of repair so most of his clothes have holes, patches, really shitty sewing, etc. He keeps it casual, usually wearing baggy hoodies, jeans, and either sneakers or hiking boots. Has a nice collection of graphic tees, most of which are from sci-fi and classic horror films as well as a denim vest covered in pins and patches of a similar style.  

What type of weapons do they prefer?

Bart is a civilian and isn’t licensed so he doesn’t pack real heat. He’s familiar-ish with firearms thanks to hanging out with Jason and Uri so much but the only “weapons” he carries are a slingshot (for knocking out security cams), a Leatherman multi-tool, and very, very occasionally homemade explosives that he gets from his neighbor Sharky.

What’s their outfit (transportation) like?

Bart is not allowed to drive for a number of reasons so his primary method of transportation is a bicycle, hitch-hiking, or mooching rides from his friends. He’s kind of an inconsiderate dick about that last option but he always brings gas money at least.  

What are their thoughts on the cult?

VERY MISINFORMED FEAR. He knows the cult is stalking him and abducting people out of Hope County but is wound up so tight in his conspiracy theory that he thinks Joseph’s doomsday prophecy is actually related to a hostile alien invasion. He spends the better part of a year investigating their activities and eventually uncovers what is really going on but by the time he’s figured it out, anyone who could help thinks he’s just crying wolf.

First thoughts on the Seed family?

Absolutely cannot stand John, thinks he’s just a pompous dickhead but also can’t help but feel a little empathy toward him since Bart went through some similar religious trauma himself. Still thinks he’s an asshole though and frequently vandalizes his ranch just because he can. They get along a little better after Bart is indoctrinated but only because Joseph demands it. During Bart’s baptism, John “allowed” Bart to keep his desert rose tattoo rather than carving it off of him and that’s the closest thing to a truce they ever really had.  

TERRIFIED of Jacob. Even before everything went down, Bart had a passing familiarity with Jacob because of Jason dragging him to Eli’s support group at the VA and has always gotten bad vibes from him. Jacob has made his distaste of Bart known as well, writing him off as a weak-minded nobody, and Bart does his best to avoid Jacob at all costs because he knows what Jacob’s ‘philosophy’ about the strong/weak is about. Even after being indoctrinated, they still don’t like each other and Jacob resents the importance Joseph places on Bart’s role.

He really didn’t know what to make of Joseph at first. Every interaction he had with the man was pleasant if not a little touchy and weird, but Bart was too distrustful to fall for Joseph’s charisma and kept him at arm’s length despite Joseph’s repeated attempts at getting closer to Bart. The longer he investigated, Bart became more and more disturbed by what he found, eventually developing a healthy fear of Joseph that kept him relatively safe until one bad fight with Jason drove Bart over the edge. He tried to infiltrate Eden’s Gate to prove once and for all that Joseph was behind the disappearances in Hope County but Joseph was expecting him and Bart became the man who gets his eyes gouged out in the video that the deputy watches on the chopper ride into Peggie country. Joseph handles Bart’s indoctrination personally and lavishes attention and love and awful pain on Bart until Bart holds an almost god-like reverence for him. He breaks him until Bart’s mind is an empty vessel and he imprints on him like a child, shaping a new identity that revolves around Joseph.

Bart and Faith were friends as teenagers back when Faith was still Rachel. Both were homeless at the time and living out of a shelter, both struggling with deeply personal issues like gender/sexuality and drug addiction. They both did their best to support the other and even though the relationship was a little toxic sometimes, they really did care for each other and Bart was devastated when she disappeared. He didn’t realize she was involved with Eden’s Gate until after he was captured and Faith ultimately played an instrumental role in getting him on their side because he was so, so happy that she was okay. After his indoctrination, they maintain a very close friendship again but Faith has some envy issues with how much attention Bart gets from Joseph and she worries that Bart is going to replace her.  

From the Police department who do they get along with?

Bart and the Hope County Sheriff’s Department have a very tumultuous relationship. Bart constantly gets picked up for petty crimes and has ZERO respect for the cops but since he’s so close with Jason, Whitehorse usually just throws him in the tank until Jason can take him home rather than actually book him for anything. So he and Whitehorse have sort of Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner relationship where they are mortal enemies that never actually do anything serious. Bart used to have a pretty big crush on Staci but Staci was an asshole about it so now Bart is just kind of shy and awkward around him but not outwardly hostile unless Staci is the one arresting him. Joey is the only one he shows any amount of respect to and that’s only because she brings him coffee when he’s in lock-up and because Jason mentors her. She’s the only one he won’t bite during an arrest.

How do they feel about Faith?

Basically answered above!

What do they feel about Joseph?

Answered above!

How do they feel at the end of all the game events?

Bart himself does not actually go through any of the events in the game with most of his story taking place before and after the canon story. And all four Seeds survive to the bunker in my version of events. By the time the game ends, Bart has been thoroughly broken by his indoctrination and while he is very afraid of the nukes, he is also elated to have a family that loves him now and thinks Joseph did everything right and they are all only alive because Joseph and the others saved them. He buys into Joseph’s prophecy without question and feels nothing but joy about everything that happened, including his own torture, at least until they have to wean him off of his bliss drip and reality settles in during detox. They have to keep him doped up almost constantly in order to maintain that level of Stockholm syndrome.

[highdwightofmylife]

Some frank Morrison headcanons or imagine it's up to you pls if you're okay with it can you make the scenario dark and toxic I've never really seen dark legion content plus your writing is amazing and I love it. His s/o fckd up and thought the trial could possibly save her from frank's toxic anger everything's good until she hears him sing where did you sleep last night (the Nirvana cover).

thanks for the ask and the compliment reeEEE!!! i’ll stick with headcannons for this since there’s a lot!! i hope i understood most of this correctly!!

Some dark Frankie boi headcannons for your toxic needsi accidently wrote more than i intended oops

Warnings: Dark themes under the cut. Toxic relationships. Please don’t read if that’s not your thing. 

- Frank can get overwhelmingly jealous. It didn’t start out that way. The relationship had been semi functional for a while, but he slowly began to become more unhinged the more he associated you with being his and his alone. When he’s jealous, prepare to be yelled at. He’ll tell you where you place is; and that’s with him. 

- A dark, toxic Frank would not be above locking you in a room if you’ve upset him. Sometimes he’d needs time to calm himself, and he can’t do that if you’re off gallivanting god knows where. He has to know where you are at all times and who you’re with. He’s… Controlling. 

- At first it was just the boys. “I saw you making eyes at Joey. Stop, or you’re going to regret it.” There was nothing there, of course, but Frank’s jealous heart had a way of reading into things. Slowly, it became everybody. “Stop talking to Susie. Stop talking to Julie.” He was afraid he was going to lose you to them, and he didn’t know what he’d do without you at this point.

- If you “step out of line” with him, out comes the knife. He’ll press the blade against your neck and remind you that he has all the power here. You’re a helpless little doe in the woods, and he’s the wolf that’s currently spending his energy by keeping you out of his jaws, expecting you to be thankful. 

- He caught you hugging Danny. Danny, of all people. He’d been watching with the rest of his group, watching you over the campfire. He saw Danny lift up his camera and say something to you, asking you to do something. He saw you laugh. He saw you kiss the cheek of Danny’s mask as a pose for a selfie. He saw red.

- You knew you’d messed up when you caught his gaze across the campfire. He didn’t get up. He didn’t say a word to you. But he stared. You’d crossed the line too much this time. You tried to apologise, but he simply said ‘it’s okay’. You didn’t believe it was, in fact, okay. Frank would have never let something like this go. You opted to go back to your own campfire, with the survivors, to let him spend some time on his own. To brood. To make it worse, Danny wasn’t at the campfire that night either – it was a coincidence, but Frank didn’t see it that way. 

- You woke up in a trial. The lodge. This was his domain, and as luck would have it, he was your current hunter. He ignored the other survivors for the entire match. He only had eyes for you, after all. 

- You were chased. You were stabbed. You were thrown across the snow and you were shoved into the splintering wood of the lodge. The entire time you heard him quoting that same damn song, interrupting his lines with bubbles of angry, passive-aggressive giggles. Your pleas for mercy fell upon deaf ears. He’d shut all reason off now. You were here, and he was going to make sure you never so much as looked at another person again. Interpret that as you will.

[mackies-thoughts]

Life in Music

Music has always been a major part of my life, so naturally my life can be defined by what music I was listening to at the time. I will listen to my music on shuffle and say “Oh, I remember listening to this in [insert random moment in time here]”. Thus a definitive list of my life in music is born!

Fall 2018

Shawn Mendes album (I listened to this on repeat while suffering through my online algebra assignments)

Youngblood - 5SOS album (I listened to this for the first time packing for winter break!)

Oye Como Va - Tito Puente (this was discovered during my World Music class and my roommate and I would listen to it over and over again)

Duck Tails theme song (again, my roommate and I have weird taste in music I guess)

Killer Queen - 5SOS

Polaroid - Jonas Blue, Liam Payne & Lennon Stella

Fine - Spencer Sutherland (I would listen to this song on repeat at least 15 times in a row)

Shotgun - George Ezra (My dad got me into this song)

Still New York - MAX and Joey Bada$$

8 Letters (album) - Why Don’t We (the beginning of a lovely obsession)

Happier - Marshmello (DO NOT watch this music video, whatever you do)

Have It All - Jason Mraz (This is a super specific memory but I was listening to this walking to Centennial Hall and it put me in such a good mood which algebra class ruined immediately)

LANY (album) - LANY

Spring 2019

Dan and Shay - all albums (but I like the Obsessed album the best I think)

Unbelievable - Why Don’t We (the best WDW song to date, I will fight people on this)

Don’t Change - Why Don’t We

Phases - PRETTYMUCH (I remember many cold mornings at 7 am walking to Chemistry and listening to this on repeat)

If I Can’t Have You - Shawn Mendes (I remember driving to surprise our best friend at his college graduation and blasting this song with the windows down, such a fun day!)

Look What God Gave Her - Thomas Rhett (I have a specific memory of driving to Walmart with my roommate and choosing this song to listen to)

Someone to You - BANNERS (this song was used in After and I saw that with my roommate and another friend during Block Party weekend)

NIKES - Jake Miller

Here With Me - Marshmello feat. CHVRCHES (I listened to this one so much that my roommate actually banned me from listening to it around her because she was so sick of it)

Love Me Less - MAX & Quinn XCII

Who Do You Love - The Chainsmokers & 5SOS

I Don’t Belong In This Club - Why Don’t We & Macklemore (pretty sure there’s a video of me singing this song very poorly 😂)

comethru - Jeremy Zucker (feat. Bea Miller)

Cody Simpson - all new albums (this obsession started after I saw him in Anastasia on a trip to New York and I’m now in love, he has such a summer vibe in all of his newer music)

Fall 2019 (aka worst semester everrr)

Kill My Mind - Louis Tomlinson (anxiously waiting for Walls to release!!)

Yellow Hearts - Ant Saunders (courtesy of TikTok)

Fine Line (album) - Harry Styles (my roommate became obsessed with Watermelon Suger so I thought she would become obsessed like me - thought wrong; the video for Adore You dropped and I watched it while getting ready one morning to which my roommate said “What the heck are you watching?”)

Ophelia - The Lumineers (TikTok again, I might be obsessed)

5SOS - Sounds Good Feels Good album and Teeth (this semester made me feel angsty and SGFG definitely helps with that)

Colors (EP) - Jacob Whitesides (I may have cried out of pride listening to this the first time which was as soon as it was released)

What Am I - Why Don’t We (changed my mind, this is the best WDW song)

Next to Normal soundtrack (watched a bootleg of this on YouTube and cried)

Flicker (album) - Niall Horan (I’m a bad fan but I just now listened to this album...oops. It was on repeat studying in the library for finals with my roommate)

Put a Little Love on Me - Niall Horan

Nice to Meet Ya - Niall Horan (this song excited me because he speaks French and the only class I enjoyed this semester was French so)

Suburban Girl - Lostboycrow (I jam hard to this song, I was listening to a chill playlist while doing laundry and that’s how I discovered this song)

10,000 Hours - Dan and Shay (I also listened to this one on repeat as soon as it came out, along with Kill My Mind)

Mother - Charlie Puth (I saw this king in concert and he will forever be one of my favs)

Things That We Drink To - Morgan Wallen (I discovered him on a band bus ride back from Shippensburg University and I fell in love with this Australian country singer)

Aaand during winter break I have been listening to High School Musical: The Musical: The Series which I was ready to hate but I’m actually in love with!

Spring 2020 - aka Corona Virus University

Goldfish Crackers - Good Revere (best TikTok dance everrrr, my roommate and I are obsessed with it and we do it together a lot, even if it is just over FaceTime)

Heartbreak Weather (album) - Niall Horan (so so amazing, I could listen to it over and over for the rest of my life which may or not be happening)

CALM (album) - 5 Seconds of Summer (again, great album and have it on repeat)

Common Sense - Joshua Basset (cute, cute song from a cute, cute boy)

IDK You Yet - Alexander 23 (another really cute song)

Starry - (this is a musical based on the life of Vincent Van Gogh, sounds a little bizarre but I promise it’s incredible! Dillon Klena is part of the team now although he didn’t sing on the actual recording)

Whistler - Kathryn Gallagher (she’s part of the Jagged Little Pill company on Broadway and she’s so good!)

Jasper Avenue - CaRter (vibeeees)

Little Women Soundtrack - (all instrumental and I’ve written many an English paper/Genetics paper to it)

Intentions - Justin Bieber feat. Quavo (I only know a few words but that doesn’t stop me from vibing as hard as I possibly can!)

Sunday Best - Surfaces (another TikTok song but it is so so good and gets stuck in my head. Bonus is that I can do the dance!)

Winter Hurts (EP) - Jacob Whitesides (another banging album from my dude! Go check it out if you haven’t already!)

Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney (this has always been my favorite song but it now has so much more meaning to me because it was Corey La Barrie’s favorite too. Rest in Paradise bud<3)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch album (specifically the Riverdale cast album, some may say it’s cringey but I loved it! - “Here’s to Ronnie...”)

Fall 2020

Fallin’ - Why Don’t We (such an amazing group of guys that are finally producing music that is 100% them! I’m really looking forward to seeing the rest of their album because if it is anything like this then it is about to break the charts)

Julie and the Phantoms Cast Album (OH MY GOSH I need to make a post with all of my JATP thoughts because this show has so many layers that make it absolutely incredible. There are no skips on the album AT ALL)

Hold Me Down - Jacob Whitesides (This is his best song by far and I streamed it for about 24 hours straight so my boy could rack up his streams on Spotify 😌)

mama’s boy - LANY (another amazing album by them! My favorite differs from day to day but currently it is (what i wish just one person would say to me))

Lotus Inn - Why Don’t We (This is such a feel-good song and honestly I’ve listened to it so many times and am still not tired of it at all. The music video is incredible and it was another of Corey’s favorite songs <3)

evermore - Taylor Swift (holy cow, this girl is amazing! My favorite is happiness, tolerate it, and gold rush!)

Wonder - Shawn Mendes album (so many cute love songs and Monster with Justin Bieber is sooo good!)

Almost Maybes - Jordan Davis

Spring 2021

Every Girl I Ever Loved - Noah Schnacky

It’s Not You It’s Me - EBEN

Roses - The Band CAMINO

Greek Tragedy - The Wombats

About You Now - Sam and Sounds

Glad You Exist - Dan and Shay

Honeymoon (Demo) - The Shadowboxers

remember the mornings - Clinton Kane

CHICKEN TENDIES - Clinton Kane

Break My Heart - JC Stewart

u suck - Emily Bear

afraid to die - Jacob Whitesides

losing a friend - Jacob Whitesides

Summer 2021 (CMERA in particular)

everything sucks - vaultboy

Alaina - John Harvie

Casual - Ian McConnel

Lemon Drop - Raynes

Big Kids (Bergie Remix) - Lukr, Bergie

Cheers to My Teenage Years

Best Thing Ever

Fall 2021

Love Back - Why Don’t We

I Guess I’m In Love - Clinton Kane

[grumpyalpacaman]

Nexus Notes - Chapter One

"I already told you, you big dumb bastard, that energy core regulator isn't worth 3,000 Credits. It's not even close!" The young woman slammed her hands down on the clerk's table. Her eyes set in a narrow glare, she scowled between loose strands of bright red hair that fell in front of her face.

Behind the ramshackle stand of partially gnawed scrap metal stood the enormous shopkeeper.  The device she so coveted was tightly gripped in his huge, clawed hand. Dangling cables swayed to and fro and the polished chrome casing reflected the blinding glare of the sun. 

The taurus were the inhabitants of the planet Kakataka in the Aldebaran star system and the largest, most cantankerous of all sentient species in the galaxy. They were also notorious hoarders.

It erupted in a flurry of guttural growls, its ruddy brown scales rapidly scraping and clattering against one another to create a series of accompanying clicks. The chattering noises he emitted elicited a whir of life from a machine strapped to his broad, tapered chest. The gadget lit up and started to translate in a low, robotic voice.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Nexus. This a rare treasure. There is nothing else like it on Pantainos."

"Zakka, you are so full of shit," she said, as she reached into her lab-coat and withdrew a small pair of oval-shaped glasses. Slipping them over her nose, she peered past the imposing, alien shopkeeper to the staggering pile of discarded mechanical trinkets and components behind his kiosk. “I can see two more in the back from here!” Frantically, she removed her glasses and stuffed them back into her coat.

"3,000 credits or no regulator." 

The young woman stood up as tall as she could and crossed her arms over her chest in her best attempt to look authoritative. She was short and scrawny by human standards, not to mention leaning on a cane and absolutely minuscule compared to the seven-foot monster before her. "Listen here, you idiot, you have no idea what that's worth to me and you're just going to eat it anyway! So hand it over for a fair price and stop impeding scientific progress."

Without warning, the shopkeeper opened his jaws for the first time, the lower portion of his face splitting into two and spreading out in a slavering, triangular maw. Then, he chomped into the device in his hand. His shredding teeth crunched and tore the metal apart with ease as he ripped off a chunk and swallowed it before hurling the remnants straight at Nexus's head.

With only a moment of shock, she narrowly ducked under the incoming projectile. The move sent her stumbling and she barely managed to catch herself with her cane to avoid an untimely fall, face-first onto the cold steel ground. If the yelling earlier hadn't drawn the attention of the other merchants and customers that populated the market, this certainly would. Within moments, Zakka had dunked one of his whopping lizard paws into a pile of scrap parts and used it as a shovel to hurl yet more junk at the girl.

"Whoa! Is this how you treat all your regulars?" Head held low, she scurried away from the bellowing Taurus. Gears and batteries skittered across the ground and peppered her lab coat. One unfortunate stray something or other even bounced harmlessly, but no less annoying, off of her forehead. "Zakka, you Lunatic," she yelled as she departed the market square.

She looked back over her shoulder more than once on her way back to her apartment, just to make sure there wasn't an angry alien reptile behind her. It wasn't until she was nearly three blocks away that she stopped to catch her breath, leaning against the wall of a building and wiping her brow with the sleeve of her coat. Just from that short run, her muscles ached and her chest burned with exertion. "I left my apartment for that damn regulator and the dumbass took a bite right out of it," she said between gasps. “Still, I hope nobody calls the police on him. He may be a seven-foot, spiky asshole, but he’s still got the best stuff in the entire city. And perhaps more importantly, he doesn’t ask ridiculous questions like, ‘what are you gonna do with this?’ or ‘do you have a license for this highly unstable radioactive material?’”

She spent nearly a minute bent over and panting before rising back up and fanning out her coat to relieve some of the intense heat. “What I would do for a breeze right now. Just a little one.”

Pantainos City, built in the most habitable, lush part of the colony planet for which it was named, was in Nexus's own words, "Too damn hot in the Summer to be conducive to intellectual pursuits." So then why, she often wondered to herself, had the United Earth Federation decided to build its premier academies here? Pantainos was one of the UEF's earliest and most prosperous colonies and had become a grand centre for training and education in the past several decades. Academies and accompanying campuses for humanity's most prestigious schools in the fields of science and military had developed here and dominated much of the city. The best and brightest across all of UEF space were sent here to learn.

But far from the glamorous universities and labs at the city's centre, Nexus walked along the ill-tended streets at the fringes of the sprawling metropolis as she made her way home with a scowl on her face. Not that her neighbours could tell the difference between her usual scowl and today’s, extra perturbed scowl. 

The moment she stepped into the lobby of her apartment and felt the cool, temperature-controlled air hit her face, she let out a long sigh. The familiar sights of the dusty floor, the seemingly permanent ‘out of order’ sign on the secondary elevator and the ever-expanding patch of mould on the far wall were just about the only means through which she could differentiate this and every other apartment building on the black. Nexus whispered a silent thanks to the closest thing she knew to a religious figure, Joey the maintenance guy, that one of the two lifts remained operational. If given the choice between the stairs and sleeping on the crumbling bench in the lobby, Nexus would have to spend some time seriously weighing her options.

With only a brief stutter of resistance, the elevator ascended to the second floor and deposited her in the hallway to find yet another annoyance. "Great. If the heat and the taurus weren't bad enough, some ass-clown piled a bunch of boxes in front of my door!" she thought. For some reason or another, cardboard shipping boxes of varying sizes, piled six high, stood right up against the entrance to her apartment.

Without another thought, she stomped forward and delivered a swift, hard kick with a flip-flop clad foot to the side of the box mountain. Much to her chagrin, the pile barely moved. So, she took a step back and shoulder checked it with the entire, fairly insubstantial, weight of her body and this time she sent it tumbling to the floor with an appeasing clatter. She grinned down at her handiwork, hoping there was something both fragile and valuable within.

The commotion brought someone running almost immediately as a man stepped out of the open door across the hall, looking concerned. His expression promptly shifted to surprise and confusion as he spied Nexus standing over the upended pile of his belongings.

If he put on a uniform, he'd look like he walked right out of a military recruitment ad for the Federation. She thought immediately of a very large and very stupid dog. He was like a man-shaped golden retriever and just as blonde.

"Did you knock over my boxes?"

"Oops," she replied with a shrug as she reached for the keycard in her pocket.

"The hell, lady? I keep important stuff in those."

"Well then maybe you shouldn't keep 'em in front of my door." By this point, she was already daydreaming about punching him in his stupidly handsome face. Though she was pretty sure she’d break her hand on that square jaw. 

He furrowed his brow and attempted to speak up but upon noticing the cane in her hand, he suddenly became very stiff and cast his eyes toward the floor. "Uhm... Sorry," he said as he kneeled and started to gather up his things, shuffling them out of the way for her. "So that's your apartment then?"

"Yep, 37B," she said with the absolute most disinterest she could muster while jabbing a thumb toward the numbers posted behind her.

With an armful of boxes, he stood back and extended his free hand toward her. "I'm just moving in next door. I'm Parker Walsh."

Her eyes drifted back and forth between his hand and his face for several seconds. "Are you suggesting I make physical contact with you?"

"Generally speaking, an offer to shake hands with someone would imply that, yes." Yet more confusion was starting to creep into his voice.

"Ew.” Rolling her eyes, she turned, swiped her card over the electronic lock and stepped into her apartment.

"Ouch," he shot back. "Can I at least have your name?"

"Nexus," she said as she slammed the door behind her.

"There is no way that is your real name," he yelled with his lips scant inches from the door but to no response.

"Parker?" said another man, sticking his head out of the open apartment. He was thinner and less chiselled than his friend but with a sly, fox-like countenance. "What are you doing out here?"

Parker shrugged. "Neighbour girl kicked over our boxes."

"And so you quit unpacking to come out here and flirt with her?"

"Not at first."

"But you did flirt with her?"

"She didn't even give me a chance. It’s just not fair."

"My heart aches for you, brother. Now get back to work. We need everything set up by tomorrow."

"On it." With boxes in hand, he started back toward his apartment, taking one glance at the door behind him as he went. "Well then. See you around, Nex."

The moment she stepped inside her apartment and flicked on the lights, she felt her legs start to shake. She grumbled softly, finally allowing herself to wince at the constant pain she felt in her muscles and eased her body into the wheelchair lying in wait by the door.

Inside her apartment, where one might normally find furniture, decorations or just about anything, Nexus had cables, power generators and several large processors stacked against the wall. In the corner sat a desk with a pair of computers, razor-thin glass panes mounted on swivelling stands. Nexus produced a third, smaller device from inside her coat. With a few swipes on the surface, her chair wheeled itself over to the desk. Once situated, she began sliding her fingers across the dual screens and they came alive with images and information. Her eyes darting back and forth between them. Within arm's reach of her chair sat the single greatest scientific achievement of mankind, an espresso machine. The divine tool was accompanied by a mountain of discarded flavour pods, generally counting among the excessively sweet variety. Though that didn’t stop Nexus from addition several more teaspoons of those godly white granules once the machine had finished its business.

All this technology (save the espresso machine) was connected to a strange, ceiling-high object in the middle of the room. The device occupied the vast majority of the available floor-space. It appeared to be a huge mechanical ring of some kind; that stood eight feet high and across. At the moment, it was deactivated.

She looked upon the centrepiece of her chamber briefly, shook her head, and returned to her work. "Damn Zakka, always a pain in my ass."

It wasn't long before she noticed she had an update on her post on the local University forums. She wasn't exactly a student, but where else was she going to share her hypotheses?

"Oh fantastic, this idiot," she said with mock excitement when she saw who posted. "Hello, Student 681966, a man so boring he uses his student ID as his screen name." Nex skimmed over his latest dull refutation of her work and rolled her eyes. 

"Your ridiculous idea of a potential intersystem artificial intelligence program has no bearing in modern computer science. Even the most simple-minded of your species is aware that software is limited by hardware.

You persist in the idea that your entirely theoretical sub-space processor would alleviate this issue and allow a program to move freely between systems, but this has in itself a litany of issues. There is no evidence to support the idea that information can travel freely between sub-space and normal space. How do you propose such a device would maintain a fixed location within sub-space? In addition, the power requirements would be astronomical.

Fixed sub-space pockets have never been found to be a remote possibility and tests have resulted in failure, every single time. The only possible use for sub-space is point A to B travel through fixed gates."

With a guttural groan of frustration, Nexus swept a hand back through her sweat-matted hair. "This guy has no imagination."

Reclining in her chair steepling her fingers, Nex pondered the list of possible rebuttals. Everything from explaining the potential power of a flywheel energy storage system in the absolute vacuum of sub-space or reference to the sub-space tests performed by Earth scientists decades earlier that implied the possibility of direct access to sub-space beyond simple two-way passages. However, when she received a sudden response from a rather important contact, she decided to let her opposition stew for a little while.

Anxiously, she opened the message with a tap of her finger and pulled the contents up on-screen.

"I have acquired the information you requested."

That alone was all she needed to send her mind alight with fireworks. There was some more afterward about releasing the hold on the promised payments and how to contact him again. She absent-mindedly tapped out an affirmative response and delved into the attached files with all haste possible.

A few weeks ago she'd contacted someone who claimed to have worked on some classified Federation experiments performed on Pantainos. She'd been making a few inquiries about them and they had become a subject of great interest to her, even though they never got off the ground. What they were attempting to develop and why it failed is still unknown to this day, but Nexus's digging had told her that it had something to do with personal-sized sub-space gates, as opposed to the massive rings that transported ships across the galaxy.

"I was right," she muttered to herself after nearly twenty minutes of poring over the contents. "Schematics, test results, dates and locations."

She gleaned from the notes that they had managed to design a miniaturized sub-space gate, though from what she could find, it wasn't able to sustain itself before collapsing after only a few seconds. Several pages appeared to be missing, including details of who was involved and the purpose of the experiments, but all the technical data she needed was right here in these files.

Again she gazed upon the massive mechanism in the centre of her apartment, this time with new excitement and rattling nerves. She bit her lip and considered her options before giving a small nod of affirmation. "To hell with the regulator, I've got work to do."

She wheeled over to the huge ring and pushed herself out of her chair. For hours she consulted the new specifications and adjusted her machine. Multiple trips were made back and forth between the device and her computer and she went through around a dozen cups of coffee and sixty teaspoons of sugar. She scoured every crate of spare parts she had lying around (which was no small number) and the clamour of her tools filled the apartment until the early morning.

She awoke with a start around noon the next day. She had passed out in her wheelchair with a collection of her tools sprawled across her lap and around her wheels. She yawned, grumbled and rubbed the sleep from eyes shadowed by black bags.

Blinking rapidly, Nexus looked at her device, consulted the schematics and then back to the device. It was a match. Better than a match even. She felt she'd improved on the old schematics. "I did it?" She brushed back a tangle of red hair and chuckled to herself. "Of course I did it."

Still coming to, she mumbled out a few commands. "Computer, begin recording a new log now. " A small robot, not unlike an ambulatory tripod, came alive. There was a lens built into the machine’s head, which promptly veered in Nex’s direction.

She pushed herself to her feet and stumbled toward the terminal mounted at the edge of her ring-like device. "Sub-space portal NG Model-1, test 27, sans energy core regulator. Upgraded system to further compensate for the Verdricci effect. Added new subsystems to target a specific location within sub-space, based on new research documents. No more firing off randomly. Begin activation now."

Triumphantly, she punched in the key sequence to start up the machine and listened with glee as it whirred. Lights flickered on around the ring and sparks coursed across the empty space in the middle.

Staring into her would-be sub-space gate, Nexus's hands shook excitedly. "Alright UEF, let's see what you were up to."

The machine's laboured noises intensified and she could feel a charged tingle on her skin. Then, all at once, a disc of torn space appeared inside the ring, contained and stable. Her smile vanished, only to be replaced by a slack jaw and wide eyes. The sight beyond the portal sent shivers through her body and made her stomach churn. Floating in the vast emptiness of sub-space, was a cylindrical device surrounded by lifeless human corpses.

[the-hellion-studio]

Circus night

Words: ≈1500

Joey takes Henry on a sudden adventure in the middle of the night.

“I really wanted to see the elephants, Joey.” Henry mumbled, hugging a pillow.

Earlier that day he and Joey walked past a circus that was installed in town, and of course it was too crowded and noisy for Joey to handle, so they didn’t get in. There was a sign saying that there was elephants and Henry couldn’t seem to shake it off his mind. He really liked animals and wanted to befriend them all.

Joey was perched on the windowsill, an almost finished cigarette between his fingers. He took a long drag and looked outside. The stars were twinkling through a clear sky, the bright smile of the moon watching over them. He looked back at Henry, who was half naked on the bed. He was pretty much ready to go to sleep. Joey sighed a thick cloud of smoke. Henry was supposed to be the smoker, but Joey always stole his packs and certainly smoked more than his boyfriend.

“Let’s go, then.”

He scratched the end of his cigarette under the overhang of the window and threw it outside. He jumped off his spot, landing on the wooden floor without a sound.

“Get dressed, we’re going.”

Henry wasn’t too surprised, Joey was often dragging him in crazy “nightventures”. It was always sudden and random. He was glad he was the origin of tonight’s wandering off. He got out of the bed, picking up his clothes Joey had folded nicely on the chest at the end of the bed. The man in question was already by the door with his coat and hat on, playing with his keys, ready to leave. Henry got dressed quickly and joined his lover in the old staircase of the building. He did his best to shut up and be careful to the steps he shouldn’t step on because they were too noisy. Joey marked them with chalk on the left side of the old wood. They got down the three stories quickly. The night outside was pleasantly cool and soft, with very little wind. There was no noise besides some birds and the sound of their footsteps on the gravel covering the ground. Joey hopped in his hearse, looking at Henry through the window. The other did not really want to step inside the sinister vehicle, as everytime he was in there something bad happened. He gulped, his eyes slowly drifting to his own car, parked on the other side of the street.

“Get in, you chicken.” He challenged Henry, an amused grin on his lips.

Joey turned the engine on suddenly and his car started roaring, wich made Henry take a step back with a yelp. It was not supposed to sound that way for sure.

Think about the elephants, Henry. Breathe.

That’s better.

He gulped and carefully walked towards the Death Machine– that’s how he nicknamed Joey’s hearse. He got into the passenger seat, curling up against his boyfriend, hugging his arm, as it was the only way to be stable as the seatbelt was broken. Joey grumbled, gripping the steering wheel.

“Let’s go see those elephants. I’ll need you to tell me the way, I completely forgot where it is.”

Henry smiled. Typical Joey. The truth is that he knew where it was, but if Henry was distracted he wouldn’t get scared and flip out because of Joey’s original way of interpreting the road code. It perfectly worked, and with the indispensable help of Henry they drove to where the circus was and parked close by. The moment the hearse stopped moving Henry jumped off, trotting away to get to a reasonable distance. Joey rolled his eyes at this and adjusted his hat on his head.

“You’re ridiculous.”

He put his hands in his pockets and got next to Henry.

“One day I won’t wanna get near that horrible machine anymore, you know!”

Joey shrugged, not looking impressed at all.

“Yeah, sure.”

He huffed, amused, and followed Henry who was already walking towards the animal’s enclosures. He was looking around, hoping no one would notice them messing with the animals in the middle of the night. Henry was not so concerned about this, his brain was wired on the elephants only. After a few minutes of walking around in the dark, a big, excited squeal sent the sleeping birds in the trees near by flying away. Joey grinded his teeth together, glaring at Henry.

“May I remind you the owners are sleeping and we shouldn’t be here?” He whispered loudly, worried.

Henry put his hands over his mouth, turning to Joey.

“Sorry!” He whispered back, embarassed. “But look– they’re just there!”

He closed his fists, shaking them a little out of excitement, then pointed at the elephants, sleeping in the grass not so far away. Joey winced upon seeing the creatures. He didn’t want to admit it but large animals scared him a lot. He kept his distances, keeping a calm composure.

“That’s great.”

Henry turned back to the elephants, leaning against the fence, almost vibrating of happiness. Joey looked at him and smiled. Henry’s moods were very contagious. He started climbing the fence, wanting to have a closer look at the grey masses laying in the grass. He approached the elephants carefully, not wanting to scare them. They were still sleeping.

It was not the best idea, but it was fun to watch so Joey didn’t say anything. Still he stayed alert in case someone would come. And he did well. A few minutes later he heard someone walk not so far away.

“Shit. Henry?”

Henry stopped walking and and turned to Joey.

“Mh?” He tilted his head on the side, worried by Joey’s anxious tone.

“Someone’s coming.” He whispered, looking towards where the sound seemed to come from.

“Oops–”

Henry sprinted back to the fence and jumped over it, but stress made him slip and he flopped down on the ground. Joey made fun of him and helped him back on his feet. The footsteps came closer. Joey and Henry started to walk back to Joey’s hell car quickly, trying to be as silent as possible, hiding behind the other cages. Henry stayed close to his boyfriend, making himself as little as possible. They could see a man between the metal bars and sleeping animals, looking for them, possibly very upset. Soon enough they arrived to where the hearse was waiting for them. Joey ran to it and unlocked the doors.

“We’re leaving now. Get in–”

Henry didn’t do as much manners when it came to getting in the hearse. Joey turned on the car and quickly drove away from the circus, taking the road back to his appartment. Henry laughed, nervously at first, but it became genuine as they started driving away, gripping on Joey’s arm happily. Joey was amused as well, now that the stress was fading away.

“Thank you Joey!”

Joey shrugged, letting out an amused bark.

“It was fun. I’m glad you saw your elephants.”

Henry giggled happily, keeping his eyes on Joey to avoid looking at the road.

“Yeah. I wish I could have gotten closer… You know what time is it?”

Joey lended his right wrist to Henry so he could read his watch.

“It’s two and something.” He declared, releasing Joey’s forearm. Even with the biggest efforts, he never figured out how to read the longer needles.

“Fantastic.” Joey crooned, getting his hand back on the wheel.

Henry giggled, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Not so long later, they were back in Joey’s lair. The moment Henry stepped in, he really felt tired. All that unexpected nightly running around drained the last bits of energy in his body. Joey didn’t look tired at all. He was trying hard to convince himself he wasn’t tired,but his will had limits. He put down his coat on the back of his armchair then got to the kitchen to make coffee. Henry settled on a chair next to him.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna sleep instead ?” Henry asked, tapping his fingers on the table.

Joey shook his head, staring at the coffee pot.

“No. There’s work to finish and I know I won’t sleep. I’ll need that still.”

He went to pat the hot metal– just once.

“Ow. Fucking idiot.”

He shook his hand, wincing.

Henry stood up.

“Oh my God are you okay?!”

Joey put his hand under cold water in the sink, a blank look on his face.

“Of course.” He replied sarcastically.

Henry frowned.

“You should sleep.”

“You should sleep.” Joey mocked him, imitating his voice.

“Come on, Joey. It’s with me!”

Joey looked at the floor, his hand still stuck under the faucet. Maybe Henry was right.

“Okay, okay.” He sighed. “Just let me take a shower and do something about my fucking hand first.”

Henry smiled victoriously and went to the bedroom. The moment he slipped under the bedsheets he fell asleep, tonight’s adventure in mind. Joey joined him later in the night once he was clean, and just sat down next to Henry, waiting for the night to pass. He did fall asleep eventually, ending that night’s adventure there.

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Thank you, love! Can I please have a double ship? I’m a fat bottomed girl who is a tomboy - I’m not into typical “girly” stuff and I love hanging around with boys discussing politics, sports (I’m a huge sports nerd), listening to metal. I love war movies and am interested in history (WWII especially) though I’m studying Journalism. I also don’t like wearing skirts or dresses or heels. I’m a loyal friend who will always be there to listen and help you. I’m very clumsy and often trip over my feet.

Sssssssshello fellow sports fan (i’m not even joking even though that sounds so nerdy) so what do u think about the kc royals i know they suck ass but like.... im so dedicated to my boys and i’ve seen them kick the yankees ass at yankee stadium (FUCK YOU JOE MAZZELLO)

ships r below the cut sjkdfjkds

For BoRhap, I ship you with Joe Mazzello!

For obvious reasons - I mean, a girl that’s into sports and is extremely loyal? Joey Mazz would bus a nutttt

Anyways, you’d probably meet Joe while doing some work as a sports journalist. Deciding against the box seat that you usually took during a Yankee’s game for focus reasons, you opted to sit down with the public in the stands, and you got seated next to Joe.

Joe was respectable enough for most of the game - once he got a bit loose on the juice, though, he had some mouthy tendencies, and every last word was directed angrily at the officials. 

At one point, he was so angry that you couldn’t hold in your laughter as you kept book, missing a tally for a ball but not caring too much as you stared in amazement at the fiery copper-headed man beside you. His double-black Yankees hat fell off of his head as he stood abruptly, and you took your boot-clad feet off of the seat in front of you as you leaned down to grab it for him. 

“Fucking terrible call! That was in the strike zone, that ump is full of shit,” he muttered as he sat back down in a huff, pausing before getting a curious look on his face and starting to search for his hat.

“Looking for this?” you asked, a teasing edge to your voice, and Joe’s attention snapped over to you, recognition immediately flooding his eyes as he smiled gratefully and took the hat.

“Thanks a ton, I just can’t stand those damn umps sometimes.” Looking down at the stat book on your tablet, he raised an eyebrow in inquiry before pulling his hat back on his head. “Keeping book for anything special?”

“I work for the New York Post. Sports columnist,” you explained, locking your screen to save battery after a strike was finally called and the fourth inning came to a close. Joe made a ‘not bad’ face, then gave you a grin.

“So, Yankees fan?”

“Uh, you know it,” you scoffed, nodding as you looked out to the field and smiled before making eye contact with him again. He had a kind gaze, you noted, and his smile was just as evident in his eyes as it was in his actual smile. “Wouldn’t miss a game for the world. Not even that exhibit on Governor’s right now.” You felt your stomach flipping a bit, Joe watching you very intently and almost intimidating you with how genuinely invested he was in what you had to say.

“The World War II one?” Joe inquired, and he chuckled when you made a positive noise in response. “I was in a show about WWII a couple years ago. Maybe you’ve heard of it? The Pacific?”

“That was you?” you gasped, involuntarily reaching out and grabbing his arm. Although the both of you registered it, you awkwardly decided not to say anything and just continued talking, Joe trying to mask his reaction at the tingly feeling your touch left on his arm. “Holy shit, I loved that show! I didn’t even recognize you.” Laughing, you let go of his arm and just paused for a moment, recalling how excited you’d been about that miniseries.

“Yeah, not my biggest claim to fame, but definitely up there. Still doesn’t get me recognized at baseball games, though. I got that more in the 90′s.”

“The 90′s - you must have been a baby!” you teased, in disbelief that he was any older than 25. There was no way he was anything but a toddler back in the 90′s.

“God, the closer I get to my 30s, the more that excites me,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Unfortunately, I was a little more than a baby back then. I was a whole, grown kid.”

“Grown kid - what a paradox,” you scoffed, giving him a gentle eye roll as a few people around you chuckled at something. “Alright, I’ll bite - in the 90′s, what were you in?”

“Would you believe me if I said some commercials and that was it?” Pursing your lips, you gave him an unmoved look and he chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. You were surprisingly adorable despite the currently deadpan expression. In fact, he was beginning to like all of your expressions, and all of your mannerisms. You were pretty laid-back for a woman of your age - like you were comfortable not putting up a front around him and men in general. “I was in Jurassic Park.”

“No way!” you gasped, thinking back to the movie and vaguely remembering a little boy around your age that had resembled him. “Oh my god, all I remember about it is that I wanted to be your friend... and I had an embarrassingly big crush on Jeff Goldblum.”

“Oh god, me too,” Joe agreed, waving a hand dismissively at the thought that anyone didn’t feel things for Jeff Goldblum.

Some faint laughter and shifting glances around you suddenly distracted you from your intense conversation with Joe, and you looked around for a moment before groaning and shielding your eyes at the jumbotron, trying not to laugh. “We’ve been called out.”

Joe looked at the large screen to see the both of you with a superimposed timer beneath you, dubbed the “Oblivious Cam.” You’d both been so invested in the conversation, they’d nearly been timing you for a minute by the time you realized. Waves of embarrassment washed over the two of you as you realized everyone in the stadium had watched what you had assumed was a mainly private interaction. Suddenly, the hand on the arm thing was mortifying.

“Well, at least we look good,” Joe offered, waving to the camera and shrugging before they kicked it off, going into the fifth inning. Joe was right, he did look damn good. And the fact that he thought you looked good too, despite your lack of commonplace women’s wear around a baseball game (see: tight-fitting unbuttoned jerseys, short shorts, heels, etc.). You’d shown out in some jeans and a ratty jersey you’d had since God knows when, with some combat boots to pull it all together. And he still thought you looked good.

He very much did. He thought you looked so good, in fact, that he took you out for drinks after the game. And then sitting down with the public became a regular occurrence for you - even though Joe wasn’t at every game, he showed up to far more games than he would have regularly, just so he could see you. But he’d never admit that, not even up to the day that he asked you out.

Which, of course, you’d been floored - men usually don’t ask out one of the boys. But you said yes, of course! And a couple months later, when he offered to fly you out to California to see the baseball movie he’d been working on about his brother, you jumped at the opportunity.

Mainly because it was an away time for Yankees.

Oops.

When you showed up on set with Joe, the cast immediately welcomed you as one of their own, and you took up residence in the bleachers/near the fence, psyched to see what they were working on for the day and also stoked because you’d probably become an extra because of this appearance. Acting credits on top of journalism? Score.

Today was the day they were filming Pat’s breakdown, and you were excited to see just how riled up Joe could get as you leaned against the admittedly searing-hot chain-link fence. Between takes, Toby, who’d taken quickly to befriending you, came over in all his English glory to visit with you about the upcoming shots.

“You ready to see Spaz Mazz?” he joked, making you laugh at the corny nickname as you nodded, letting go of the chain-link for a moment.

“Absolutely. I’ve seen Joe at baseball games, so can’t wait to see who he absolutely rails today.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day, because it’s me,” Toby chuckled, fixing his hat as Joe caught sight of the two of you, smiling and waving before going back to whatever directorial duties he was working on. Waving back, Toby sighed melodramatically before turning to you. “He yells at quite a few of us, but in the table-read, he really let me have it in this scene. The struggles of being the fun one,” he lamented, making you roll your eyes and wish him good luck as Joe called for the next shot to start.

And in a few moments, you saw exactly what Toby meant. Well, not saw. You just got to listen as Joe absolutely went off on Manny’s character in the dugout, a gleeful laugh leaving your lips as you heard him threaten to shove a bat up Zapata’s ass, then yelling at Palacco for shitting away his talent. After the more emotional part, you burst out laughing when a sudden, “Oh, shut the fuck up, Zapata!” rang in your ears.

Covering your mouth quickly, you resorted to just grinning while you listened to them methodically reconstruct the scene over and over, taking several shots in the mid-afternoon heat before deciding to call it since the lighting was waning, not providing for the right time of day for the shot that was slotted next.

Joe was one of the last to finally filter off the field, finding you immediately and giving you a mildly-tired grin as he wrapped his arm around you, walking off towards the parking lot with you. 

“Toby said Seb’s in town and wants to meet up for dinner with Chace and us. You hungry?”

“Starving,” you affirmed, leaning against him a bit as you climbed up the hill. “That was an... interesting performance. You sound a little hoarse.”

“Yelling all day can wear a guy out,” he agreed with a small chuckle, pulling out his keys to his rental and stopping in front of the car to just stand with you for a moment. The eye-black on his cheeks was smeared from sweat, his hair a mess, and you could definitely tell he was slouching a bit, tired from the day’s proceedings.

But he still was smiling down at you, and you couldn’t help but smile back before leaning up and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into an affectionate kiss, which he eagerly reciprocated. 

His arms wrapped around your waist, hands resting dangerously low on your back, but not enough to raise alarms, and you grinned against his lips before pressing a gentle peck to the lower one, murmuring just loud enough for him to hear.

“I like the baseball pants look on you.”

A throaty chuckle escaped his mouth and he gave you one last kiss before wrapping an arm around your waist and ushering you to the passenger seat, letting you open the door and start climbing in yourself before he swiftly reached out and pinched your ass, closing the door for you with an innocent grin on his face when you shot him a warning look.

“Couldn’t help myself,” he defended when he climbed into the driver’s seat after a few moments. “You brought up butts and you know yours is my favorite butt.”

“I’m glad,” you laughed, shaking your head as you watched him start the car, sucking your lower lip into your mouth for a moment before grinning mischievously. “But I wasn’t talking about your butt, though that was nice too.”

Joe’s eyes lit up at your statement, a light flush filling his cheeks as he wrestled with what you’d just suggestively implied. Looking over to you, his jack went slightly slack, and all he could manage was a soft “Oh.”

“Smooth, babe. Real smooth.”

“You caught me off guard, come on!”

And for Queen, I ship you with Brian May!

We all know that Brian struggled with being raised as a rather womanly boy, so your more masculine personality equals out beautifully with his feminine tendencies. In categories where he lacks a masculine touch, you make up for that absence, and when you have issues with a feminine touch, he’s right there to help you along.

Synergy!

Plus, heart eye emoji at the fact that you’re a fat-bottomed girl.

Anyways, I think you and Brian would be lifelong friends. The tall ol’ softie never would have survived high school without his loyal best friend, you, to guide him through that emotional rollercoaster.

But I really don’t think you’d have a crush on him at first. I think he’d be absolutely smitten with you from the get-go - you were his rock, the only person to ground him when he got too high-strung. But because of his tendencies to be high-strung and eternally confused, you never saw him as more than a close friend.

That is, until one night that you were hanging out with him and the boys, and Roger had you caught up in a particularly in-depth conversation about Black Sabbath’s eponymous album that had been released recently. 

Roger was your go-to for anything metal related, which made Brian only slightly jealous as he watched the two of you intensely discuss whether you appreciated the blues notes that they brought to some of the songs on the album. 

“I think The Wizard is the most genius one out of all of them!” Roger gushed, and you nodded in agreement as you listened to him start to ramble on about how much he loved the song. Always the listener, you only let your eyes roam for a brief moment, pausing when you saw Brian just past Roger’s scruffy golden-brown hair.

When he caught your eye, he sent you a small smile and a brief eye roll about Roger’s rants that made you grin, and you quickly looked back to Roger as he summarized his opinion, finally. “I agree, but what about N.I.B? You can’t tell me that it isn’t up there on the quality list.”

When Roger began to dissent against your opinion, you quickly excused yourself to go grab another drink and left him to simmer, instead making your way to the kitchen and pouring yourself the rest of the whiskey as Brian entered.

“Sounds like you guys had some really important stuff to discuss,” Brian observed as he pouted slightly at the empty whiskey bottle, instead fetching himself a beer.

“I love Roger, but he could talk my ear off if I didn’t learn when to say no.” Chuckling, your lanky friend joined you at your side and leaned back against the counter, opening his beer while you took a sip of the whiskey in your cup. He watched as your nose just barely wrinkled compared to the way that his scrunched up after every sip of straight bourbon, and admiration quickly overtook his features, not able to slip away fast enough when you looked up at him.

“What?” you laughed, cocking your head a bit when he smiled at you oddly, sitting his beer on the counter. “I know I left my flat in a hurry, but do I really look that rough today?”

“No, no,” he stammered, laughing nervously as he looked forward to observe your friends out in the living room. His heart was racing, and he feared that you could hear it from that close as he swallowed hard, speaking again. “Far from it.”

That brought a slight blush to your cheeks, and you looked forward as well, your brain racing a million miles a minute as you tried to calm down. Brian usually never made you this flustered, so it was confusing to you that such a simple comment could spike your heart rate so easily. What happened?

Looking over to him again, you desperately tried to work out what was different about Brian now versus every other time he’d made an offhanded flirtatious comment all throughout your childhood. He was still looking at the living room, his eyes brimming with something unreadable, and you realized how much he’d grown from the spindly little straight-haired preppy boy you’d grown up with. 

Now he was even taller in multiple ways - of course, his height had shot up, but he also held himself in a more confident way too. He was unafraid for the most part, far from the nervous wreck you’d spent hours upon hours convincing to go do hoodrat shit with you. 

He was so sure of things now. Even if he had momentary doubts, he’d never been focused on something more than he was with the band. 

And, it did help that he was absolutely beautiful now. He’d began growing out his hair, and the curls that were on constant display were fascinating, jet-black and shiny and tempting to touch. His aquiline nose and toothy smile only added to the charm, all of it wrapped together by the warm hazel eyes that were always watching you, like right now, and suddenly you realized you were both staring at each other a moment too late as Roger came in, looking between the two of you.

Deciding against the obvious question, he instead raised an eyebrow and looked over to the empty whiskey bottle to your right, scowling. “Who did it?”

Thoroughly flustered and distracted, you took a moment to realize that Brian was pointing directly to you, and with an astonished cry, you smacked his hand away, cursing him as he laughed at you.

And from there, a slow burn of a friends-to-lover flame was alight. And I mean slow, as in not reaching culmination until 1973 or 1974, when they were really starting to make it big-time. After all, this was a ‘one of the boys’ relationship you’d had going on previously, so navigating from that to accepting your attraction to Brian and his requited attraction to you was difficult.

You’d never realized how much you really wanted to be more than just his friend until he was off on the Queen II tour and you’d gotten a call from Roger telling you that they were heading back suddenly, due to Brian’s rapidly declining health. And in those hours between that call and their arrival in London, you’d never felt more afraid. 

Suddenly, you knew exactly what it was like to be on Brian’s side of things, so you rushed to the hospital to see him.

He was yellow, so off-color, and he looked so weak when you saw him that you almost started crying when he managed a smile at your appearance. 

“Jesus, Brian, you’ve caught your death,” you muttered as you stood there next to his bed, knowing you couldn’t really touch him - that was the worst part. Now, more than ever, you wanted to hug him. But the risk of transfer was daunting, and you didn’t know if it was aggressive enough to be transmitted even by an embrace.

“Feels like it,” he laughed, his voice softer than ever before, and you frowned as you decided holding his hand was enough, taking the yellowing fingers between yours and lacing your hand with his, squeezing it gently when he gave you another soft smile. “Glad you’re here.”

“Wish we were anywhere but here, honestly,” you replied gently, on the verge of tears at the sight of your best friend so weak. “Do you need anything? Water? Food? A book?”

“Oh, shut up,” he mumbled at your fussing, a small laugh leaving his lips as he closed his eyes. “All I need right now is you. Thank you.”

“Never in my life would I expect to be thanked for hanging around and annoying the daylights out of you. Don’t you get tired of me, May?” you teased softly, trying to ease up the atmosphere as his thumb traveled over your knuckles slowly, the calloused, scratchy pad of this thumb leaving small white marks on your skin where it irritated you.

“Never,” he croaked out, so quiet you almost missed it, but a blush spread on your cheeks as you realized what needed to be said. It was now or never, and honestly, Brian was never going to have the balls to say it. That, unfortunately, was your department.

“Good. Because unfortunately, I really think you’re stuck with me for good now.”

“What?” he asked, not fully understanding what you were propositioning, although there was a hint of hope in his eyes as he opened them slowly, looking over at you. 

“I think it’s about time we went on a proper date. You and me.” You gave him a sly smile, seeing a shallow fluttering of his chest as he reckoned with what you’d just said. 

“Right now?” he whined softly, looking around at the room and sighing. “You really picked the worst time to decide that you fancied me back.”

“Oh, shut up.” It was your turn to send him an annoyed look as you stood up, giving his hand one last squeeze before heading towards the door, stopping right before you got there and looking back at him. “Anything you want me to smuggle up from the cafeteria for our date?”

He watched you for an exceedingly long time, staying completely silent and just admiring you before finally swallowing dryly and laughing a bit. “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

“I don’t think that’s on the menu down there, sorry, lovie.” He rolled his eyes at your attempt at teasing, and closed his eyes as you grinned to yourself, practically floating down the hallway on pure love.

[glowwormsmith]

Pre-Game for the Deputy asks! :)

Yay, thank you for the ask! :D

1. How did they end up at the Hope County Sheriff’s Department? How long have they worked there? She only started working there about a month and a half as a junior deputy, having gotten the job due to Whitehorse being strapped for people. She moved in with her sister after her husband and son died/vanished, and was hoping to both help her sister and get back on her feet again. The arrest on Joseph Seed was her first big case, oh nooo.

2. Relationship with Pratt, Hudson, and Whitehorse? She knew and dated Joey in college; the reunion was a bit awkward, but they became good pals again with Layla still having some unrequited feelings. She and Pratt didn’t like each other all that much, but they had fun ribbing each other. She liked Whitehorse, but thought he was weak on those silly Eden’s Gate punks (until she saw how dangerous they really were, oops). I’ll also add Marshall as a bonus: she didn’t like his attitude, but she respected him when they teamed up during the arrest/escape.

3. Do they have an education? Graduated with good marks in undergraduate. Didn’t for for master’s, because she was too tired from her first job. Got good marks in the police academy.

4. Where are they from? Did they speak a different language there? Born and raised in Helena, MT. She knows intermediate Spanish and some French.

5. Is there anyone outside the valley that might have come looking for them? Her parents, whom she has a good relationship with. In fact, they do eventually get to the county to look for their daughters and get just as tangled in the whole mess. No aunts or uncles, no cousins, both sets of grandparents are dead.

6. Did they have a religious background of any kind? Parents kept an open mind and didn’t bother to raise them in any religion, wanting them to choose for themselves. She considers herself agnostic, and likes some aspects of the religion without necessarily labeling herself as one.

[orumad]

that 70s show

who i will protect at all costs: my mother, kitty.

who deserves better: donna. literally the smartest, coolest one out of the bunch. get her out of point place stat.

who was killed off too early: eric lmao. canonically, he didn’t die but ... well.

who i used to hate but now i love: literally i don’t think i’ve hated any of these hot messes.

who i used to love but now i hate: no one, real talk.

who needs to be killed off asap: all of season eight.

who is unfairly hated: mm maybe eric. he was the least interesting to me but honestly such an important part of the group. i rly do have a soft spot for that lil weirdo. 

who is unfairly loved: kelso. great for comic relief, but a real shithead.

who needs to sort out their priorities: jackie !!

who needs a hug: hyde lol.

who needs to get out of their current relationship: since season 8 didn’t happen (fez/jackie doesn’t exist) i’d say probably donna and eric. get out, grow, then maybe come back together omfg.

who the writers love: the s8 writers really didn’t give a shit about any of them. other than that, i wanna say jackie.

who needs a better storyline: fez !! he really became the joey tribbiani of t7s.

who has an amazing redemption arc: i think jackie really grew so much during her relationship w hyde ? also kelso becoming a father was really nice in a very weird way.

who is hot af: jackie and kelso. let’s just face facts.

who belongs in jail: probably hyde.

who needs to be revived from the dead: eric oop.

send me a fandom.