#and they could’ve accomplished it without the william stuff AND YET

[nicollekidman]

one of the many insane things about fool for love is that they were like “how do we work a Spike Backstory episode into the main narrative” and what they came up with is “buffy needs to know more about her own history and identity and the only way for her to know more about herself is for him to tell her” like hmmmmmm HMMMMMMMMMMMM

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 31: AMJ #4.3

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Now I’ve torn perhaps the worst set of pages in the entire story a new one, we can continue with the rest of the issue.

Let’s move onto the next page. 

So Beck asked Screwball to lay off the drones but she’s still having fun. This ‘fun’ involves continuing to harass the paparazzi. I actually don’t have a problem with that. Turn around is fair play and she isn’t hurting them in this specific instance.

Anyway, the Savage Six show up and explain they share the paparazzi’s interest in Sonny Diperna(specifically because he’s playing the Vulture). The Six cut a deal with the paparazzi. They will provide the paparazzi state-of-the-art military grade photo-surveillance gear. In exchange the paparazzi will use this to bring the Six information on McKnight, the movie and it’s location.

Okay, so presumably Screwball’s drones are fitted with camera to enable her to control them with that in mind wouldn’t she be able to observe the Six? I’m willing to let that pass because the Six might be out of sight of the camera or Screwball might’ve called off her drone between panels.

However, how did the Six find these paparazzi? The answer must be that they were following them. The paps were following Sonny themselves and were only stopped at this point by Screwball. So there is no way for Vulture to have known they’d be at this location at this time without having followed them himself.

That being the case then, why didn’t Vulture (or one of his minions) follow Diperna’s car? Why didn’t they follow the drones? Or this one drone lagging behind? Couldn’t Vulture, being a genius, invent some kind of tracking device to follow the drones signal or plant a tracer on them or Diperna himself?

Why on Earth are using paparazzi journalists the best route to finding the location of the set?

I understand that this is a story steeped in the world of Hollywood, but you still need to justify the logistics within that. If Williams wanted a story wherein paparazzi (an infamous component Hollywood) are integral to the story she should internally justify it within the narrative.

Anyway, what exactly is this military grade photo-surveillance gear?

Well, it’s literally just the Vulture’s wings and flight tech. The paps use it to enter the offices of the potential investors from issue #2. They also use it to emerge from the locker of the actor who was originally going to play Mysterio. Wherever they go they take pictures and ask invasive questions about Cage McKnight, in particular about his aggressive attitude.

‘God where to start’ might as well be my catch phrase for this issue.

Let me start off by saying I get  Williams’ intent here. She’s satirizing the invasiveness of the paparazzi. The thing is in an established narrative (which the world of Spider-Man is) if you are going to do a satire you need to do one of two things.

Either you make the satire a self-contained off to the side project (which AMJ isn’t) or you make it work within the verisimilitude of the established universe (which AMJ doesn’t).

In this situation the Vulture wants information on the movie. To an extent seeking the help f paparazzi makes sense to that end, as does outfitting them with technology to make that easier. Butt he technology he gives them is not used logically

I can buy that it’s military grade because S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives (like Peter’s sister Teresa) uses similar technology. But it’s not at all photo-surveillance tech. That’s like calling a jetpack photo-surveillance tech. Even if he was making a weird joke the gear he gives them is not all that helpful.

At best, they could use it to spy on people from high up or follow them. But the Vulture himself could do that or his hired goons could do that. Why does he specifically need paparazzi photographers to do this? They aren’t even using the flight tech for that though. They are just using it to invade private property, presumably from open windows. Then they just harass people by taking pictures and asking annoying questions. Why not have them relay their leads to Vulture prompting him to abduct and interrogate these people? Wouldn’t that be more effective? What does taking photos of them accomplish for Vulture. How could Vulture confirm anything the investors told the paps be legitimate and not something to get rid of them?

Not to mention I don’t even know how that last pap fitted into that locker with the wings…or why he even needed those wings to do that!

Also, this is yet more evidence of McKnight’s reputation being dragged through the mud because of Mysterio.

Also, also this is the first time in story that the name of the movie is actually mentioned. It’s not even the full title either.

On the next page we see Ken holding a press conference, begging Cage McKnight to get the paps off his back as they won’t leave him alone. MJ and Mallorie see the news and realise the Six are desperate and back on their trail. MJ reassures Mallorie that once they’ve finished shooting Ken’s family will be safer.

Meanwhile ‘McKnight’ is telling Deperna about the role of the Vulture. He explains that the Vulture and Mysterio are two sides of the same coin and could’ve wound up the same way. Unfortunately Deperna has to leave for a talk show interview. He figures if he’s being hounded anyway he might as well put the P.R. to good use.

So…Mary Jane is a selfish b-word here.

Instead of ceasing production and finding a way to deal  with the threats to Ken and his family she’s content to just keep going and thereby continuing to endanger them. And to be clear the word used is ‘safer’. Not safe. Ken and his family will still be in danger…from super villains.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I shouldn’t have to spell this out. I shouldn’t even need to refer back to part 16. But I will anyway.

Mary Jane would never prioritise making a film over the safety of innocent people.

She especially  wouldn’t considering she’s been the victim of stalkers and unwanted press attention herself. Back in ASM #521-522 MJ had her big stage debut, a night that was ruined when a paparazzi started a story about her having an affair with Tony Stark. This slander reduced her to tears.

Compared to what Ken is going through, MJ’s experience pales in comparison. So why is she so unconcerned about him (let alone his kids) when they are being harassed and in the crosshairs of super villains?

Additionally, Ken and these rich investors are being harassed by people in glorified jetpacks. We see that Ken at least has bodyguards. Can this handful of paparazzi shutterbugs really not be handled by the authorities It’s not like they are particularly stealthy, couldn’t the cops see them flying away and shoot them down? They aren’t wearing armour or anything. And given how they are civilians using illegally obtained military grade hardware isn’t that grounds for getting S.H.I.E.L.D. or the Avengers involved?

I grant you neither Ken nor the investors might be aware the tech is military grade but at the same time that technology is not publically available so surely someone would suspect it’s illegal for them to own and use it? They wouldn’t even need to know that it’s technology used by a confirmed super villain like the Vulture. The mere fact that no civilians have ever used tech like that would be enough grounds for the victims to ask the question at least. Additionally, I don’t know the law of L.A. but isn’t it fairly common in America for someone to use gun or force if their property is invaded? Fuck, they aren’t wearing masks can nobody identify them and report them to the police?

How have these paparazzi losers been evading comeuppance for all this time? Shit, Ken in the above page has a racket, just hit  them! One of the investors was shown trying to do just that on the previous page.

And if MJ knows these innocent people are in the crosshairs of super villains why isn’t she doing  something to protect them? Call Peter, the Avengers or ask Peter to call Cloak and Dagger again. She’s simply content for these people to be mentally and potentially physically harmed provided it’s for a few more days.

Except it won’t be.

They won’t be safe, merely safer. Even if they wrap up filming in a few ore days, how much longer will it be until they finish post-production and then from there actually release the movie. All the people being harassed will still be in harm’s way for all that time; as will the crew. The Six don’t merely want to stop the film being made. I’m sure Vulture is opposed to anyone being paid to play him on principle. I’m sure he’s opposed to a Mysterio biopic on principle too. But the bigger issue for him is that it will be released to the general public. He’s going to want to stop that and has plenty of time to try.

During this time Ken, the investors, the crew, former crewmembers and the loved ones of all of them (like Aunt May or Aunt Anna) are potentially going to be in harm’s way. There is no guarantee the Six will stop after the film is released either. Surely MJ must consider some of the Six are capable of holding a grudge. If they don’t like something about the movie they may well continue to target anyone who worked on it or was associated with it.

The only  ways to serve the greater good here is to either placate the Six somehow (e.g. by not making the movie) or by neutralizing the threat they pose (e.g. by capturing them). Instead MJ and Beck are simply running and hiding when there is no reason or justification for them to do that!

Moving on, the stuff with Diperna is dumb.

Beck claims that ‘Mysterio’ could’ve ended up just like Vulture if circumstances had gone differently. Except…they did. They are both bitter, egotistical, selfish criminal murderers who happen to be genius inventors. It makes sense for Beck to not view it that way of course. Anyone reading the script where Mysterio is framed sympathetically might not even see it that way. But I personally have a suspicion that Williams herself honestly views it that way. As in, she honestly thinks there is a huge difference between where Vulture wound up vs. where Mysterio wound up. There is, but it’s a nuanced difference, not a two sides of the same coin sort of deal.

Finally Diperna is going to a talk show to promote the movie. Isn’t that a massive security risk?

The paparazzi are already hounding him, the Six are after the movie and he’s one of their bigger targets connected to it. He knows this. MJ and Mallorie know this. But they are still going to let him leave the security of the set and go to a location where surely his attendance has been recorded. Or at least some people know about it?

But of course MJ isn’t concerned, merely excited that he’s going to promote the film. The film that’s name dropped again, but still not with it’s full title.

On the next page we see Sonny’s interview; with an obvious Conan O’Brien stand-in. 

At the interview the host asks Sonny about the rumours regarding MJ. Apparently, an anonymous source claims she’s a terror to work with on set. Sonny dispels these are totally untrue. This enrages the Six in their hideout, who admit sending blind items to the press about MJ was a dumb idea.

I have to concur with Tarantula, it was a stupid idea. What the Hell was it ever going to accomplish?

Best case scenario, MJ’s reputation gets slandered. Then what? The people working with her will know it’s bullshit and do nothing. MJ herself will know it’s bullshit and maybe get very upset.

But anything beyond that relies  upon MJ being so upset she (or a representative of the movie) would appear in person publically. Except MJ is aware the Six are after her and the movie, and the Six know she knows. Therefore no one would appear publically in order to safeguard themselves and the film.

Okay, maybe  the Six really believe MJ is that stupid or that incapable of controlling herself. But in this day and age why the Hell would she ever need to appear publicly at all? One social media post or a phone interview would enable her to respond to the rumours. Maybe the Six are hoping for that, the plan being to use technical wizardry to then track down the location of the film somehow. 

But the film already has social media accounts. We learned that last issue. Clearly if they have been trying that route it’s not been working. So why would they attempt to coax MJ into posting online? And as for a phone call, there is no indication they’re going to use that to find MJ. It wouldn’t even be a reliable plan as they couldn’t possibly know what journalist she’d talk to and therefore not be prepared to trace the call when it comes in.

No matter how you slice it this plan is idiotic (and thereby out of character for Vulture) and accomplishes nothing beyond being petty.

I’ll also add I am personally not keen on MJ being as famous as she’s being implied to be in this scene. I prefer Peter and MJ to at best be modestly famous if at all. It keeps them more down to Earth that way.

On the next page Vulture implies the asinine slander attempt was probably his idea. He then goes on to claim that aweul rumours would’ve forced MJ to surface. I’ve already addressed why this is dumb and OOC for Vulture.

He then tries (and fails) to justify his almost-as-bad idea of arming the paparazzi to find the set for them. Back on TV, Sonny claims the difference between Mysterio and Vulture in the movie is that Beck cares about redemption whilst Vulture doesn’t. This further fuels my theory that this distinction is Williams’ own perception of the characters.

Also, one of the paparazzi approaches Vulture with a picture that delights the old bird.

On the next page we find ourselves with Peter at an ESU lab, where he answers a call from MJ. 

He says he’s not great and very confused. He says it might be confusing for her too depending upon the context of the photo she sent earlier. The photo in question is of MJ in Spider-Man’s costume. MJ explains that she’s filling in for the Spidey actor who quit then tries to explain about working with Mysterio.

Unfortunately something important is happening in the lab and the scientists are demanding Pete’s attention. He asks to leave but reaffirms their arrangement for a video chat the next night. Sadly, MJ says goodbye as Peter hangs up. Just then Beck calls MJ over so they can rehearse her Spidey scene.

They begin with the Electro fight choreography MJ learned earlier. Abruptly the fake Electro attacks surprising MJ.

So let me get this out of the way. I do not know if Gomez or the inkers or the colourists were putting extra effort into these pages or not. Regardless, the result is simply stunning. I’m not being ironic or sarcastic in the slightest. Seeing MJ in Spider-Man’s outfit looks superb and I think Gomez was having fun depicting it. It’s something that cosplayers, fan art and covers have depicted to no end for decades and (IIRC) this is the very first time it’s happened in canon. Maybe that was why these pages pop as much as they do.

Or maybe Williams and/or Gomez just found the idea sexy. The dialogue certainly implies Peter might. Much like issue #1 stuff like this is where Williams on AMJ shines. She can capture many of MJ’s personality traits very well and among those is her flirtatiousness and the sexual chemistry she has with Peter. So kudos on that front.

As for the rest of this page, I should fully disclose I’m woefully behind on my comics. The last ASM storyline I read (as of this writing, but not necessarily of this posting) was the 2099 centric one. So I do not know if Peter’s dialogue is reflecting events that were contemporary at the time of AMJ #4’s release. Nor do I know if it made any huge mistakes in doing so. Maybe the dialogue was supposed to just be funny/cute because seeing MJ dressed as him was weird. Or maybe there is some big event in ASM that has thrown Peter for a loop. I just do not know, so inform me if I’m missing something.

Apart from that there is little to say about these pages. It just represents systemic problems with the story by this point. MJ shouldn’t be lying to Peter. It’s stupid for MJ to be playing Spider-Man.

As the rehearsal continues MJ realises Electro was just an illusion. Mysterio begins lecturing MJ on Electro’s abilities and critiquing her fight choreography, specifically her speed. MJ says she’ll just practice until she can do it as fast as Spidey. Mysterio though lectures that she doesn’t understand how frustrating it is to fight Spider-Man. He begins explaining how he dodges before his opponent commits to an action. How his webbing gives him access to another plane of movement (which MJ chimes in on). How his experience fighting the Sinister Six enable him to predict their movements

However, Beck clarifies that Spidey doesn’t always win because he’s noble and virtuous. Rather because ‘he’s good’. He asks MJ to try fighting again as though she wanted to really win. Mysterio continues to lecture, stating Ock is nothing without his suit so MJ shouldn’t be afraid to get up close and personal. They then begin rehearsing to fight one another, with MJ admitting she can feel Beck pulling his punches. Finally Beck tells MJ that if she compromises Vulture’s harness he’s just a vulnerable old man.

Elsewhere Vulture eyes up Charlie as he walks alone at night. The entirety of the Savage Six (which really seems like overkill) confront him. Charlie folds immediately and promises to tell them where the set is.

The positives of these pages amount to Williams demonstrating a good grasp of some of Spider-Man’s fighting technique. Ironically she echoes some of my own points from parts 21-22.

Let’s also be charitable and say MJ wasn’t being strictly serious when she said she’ll be as fast as Spidey. But if Williams intended that to be serious that’s real silly. No human can be as fast as Spider-Man.

That’s where the positives and charity ends though.

Let’s start with the fact that Mysterio has all this knowledge about the skills of Spidey and his foes. Does MJ not think Beck such a good observer is rather dangerous given his history and abilities?

Isn’t she concerned that someone who has tried to harm her lover on multiple occasions (and is demonstrating  such attempts right in front of her) has such knowledge of how he fights? Isn’t she unsettled that he is referring to him as infuriating? Does she not even raise an eyebrow that Beck is showing her all this and has yet to express any  remorse towards Spider-Man himself? Spidey being the man he framed as one of his first major crimes and whom he nearly killed in very recent history?

Apparently not.

Furthermore some of his assessments are not accurate.

‘Ock is nothing without his suit’???????

Otto doesn’t wear a suit. He has a harness with tentacles attached. And even if that’s what Williams meant it’d still be wrong. I’m not going to bring up obscure stuff like Otto’s long forgotten force field from the 1990s. Nor even the fact he can still throw a mean punch (see his debut). It’s the fact that the guy is dangerously intelligent. That’s one of the most famous things about him and he even tells you that in his name; Doctor  Octopus! How many times has he created an invention or outsmarted his opponents. MJ and Mysterio were both witnesses to his formidable intellect in ‘Ends of the Earth’ alone!

And as for the Vulture, his harness really isn’t everything. He too is clever, crafty, nasty, his wings are razor sharp and his current outfit has equally sharp claws. Anyone just looking at him should be able to tell the strength and flight his harness provides isn’t the only thing that makes him dangerous. I’m also pretty sure that Beck would know enough about Toomes’ personality to know he’s not just a harness old man in a harness, but I admit I can’t think of any examples for that off the top of my head.

The foolishness doesn’t stop there though.

Beck’s off base about Otto and Vulture but also arguably about Spidey as well. He says Spider-Man doesn’t win because he’s noble but because he’s ‘good’. This is a contentious criticism because it depends upon how you interpret that line. Beck/Williams’ intent might’ve been that Spidey is skilled, he is ‘good’ at fighting. Which would be perfectly fair. However, if that was not the intent then the dialogue doesn’t make sense. Being noble/virtuous and being good (morally) equate to functionally the same thing. The writing has been so all over the place in this series I honestly wouldn’t put it beyond Williams to make such a mistake. But even with the benefit of the doubt, she or the editors should have tweaked that line so it’d simply read better and avoid all confusion.

E.g. “But Spider-Man doesn’t win every time because he’s noble and virtuous. He wins because he’s a good fighter.”

Moving on, I already talked about how dumb it is for Beck to not simply use his illusions to finish the movie. But this page really brings it home because he is literally using very convincing illusions of Spider-Man to show MJ what to do. Just use those! Why waste time and effort on practicing with MJ so she can do this when you are obviously going to use your illusions to map over her body anyway?

From MJ’s POV though she’s wasting all this time practicing to film the final scene (which still needs to be finished in post-production). Isn’t that yet more time she’s endangering Ken and his family? More time during which they are coming to some form of harm? By convincing him to use his illusions she’ll speed up the process a lot and thus reduce the time they are at risk. But she’s been selfish throughout this whole amn story so why stop now I guess.

And hey, it’s not like the process is taking as long as it realistically should take. Just look at how quickly MJ has learned fight choreography and how to move like a gymnast. That last pose is very impressive for someone with no super powers, no formal training in gymnastics and at best some very basic self-defence classes…God…

If Beck wants someone who can nail fight choreography, move fast, gets what it’s like to fight Spider-Man and is agile why not use Screwball?! She’s been performing gymnastic moves for no reason in almost every one of her scenes. True, she has a female body build, but so does MJ!

Finally, Vulture targeting Charlie is a perfect illustration of what I’ve spoken about before. Charlie was a loose end Beck and MJ idiotically left dangling. Shit, Charlie himself was a moron for not considering he’d be a target.

So all in all this issue was another fine fucking mess.

I’m not even morbidly curious as to how the arc will end next issue. I just want to get it over with.

P.S. Peter still hasn’t shown up in spite of six of his enemies being very publicly on the loose and nearby his girlfriend.

P.P.S. The fact that MJ’s scene as Spidey involves her just doing action stuff further proves how they never needed someone who could really act. Just someone who could pull off stunt work. Making MJ’s role as Spidey even more redundant.

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[destiny-smasher]

So! Episode 2 of Before the Storm! It was very good! If you haven't read my thoughts on Episode 1, here those are.

If you want an audio discussion about either episode, I've recorded podcasts with my girlfriend, @mollifiable, as well as musicians Riley Hawke and Koethe. Here’s what we discussed on Ep1, and here’s the podcast on Ep2. BEAR IN MIND I will be discussing a number of things from EPISODE 2, so you probably shouldn’t read this if you haven’t experienced it yet. There are some inherent problems I still have with this projects conception (which I got into in that first post back in September), but Epsiode 2 has gone a long way toward giving me faith in why this story is being made. Or, at the least, that it's being made with a lot of thought and care. I've played a LOT of story-focused, episode games, and honestly, I think this episode is one of the best I've ever experienced, overall. I still struggle with some elements of the story (ex. I just don't like Rachel as much as I think I'm 'meant to,' BUT I think that ties into what the overall story may be about), and I still feel frustrated that your team is being limited by the nature of the setup (why is this all happening over three days when it could’ve been over three years, for example), but Episode 2 just has so much good going for it and I felt like it really showed what can be done with a project like this. Like last time, I want to address this to Madeleine, Felice, and the entire team at Deck Nine directly – and point out how much it means to us that you guys actually reach back and communicate with us, even encouraging criticism. I'm proud of what your team has been able to accomplish with this episode and think it stands out in the genre in a lot of ways.

Let’s get to it.

That being said, I do want to offer my criticisms, so let's just get those out of the way first. First off, Samuel – yeesh. Sorry, I just really didn't like the scene with Samuel. Part of it is his new voice actor just sounding more...creepy? I guess I'd say? But also, his manner of speech and the things he said felt out of place. Not just for his character but with the story in general. In LiS1, Samuel comes across as mentally different than those around him, almost like a sort of sage in a way, engaging with the world in a different way than those around him (there's a similar character in Supergiant's brilliant Pyre who comes to mind). But here, Samuel felt like a cross between a psychiatrist and a guy taking too many drugs? That's perhaps harsh, but especially given that his character model/rigging didn't seem to carry over properly, I was just rubbed the wrong way by his presence in this episode in a way that hasn't happened with any other recurring characters. I appreciate the intent I picked up from his scene – to remind us that there's more going on than just what we can see on the surface – but I felt like it missed the mark of who Samuel was as a character without really establishing why he would be different in this way three years in the past. On a related subject – the adult characters in this episode, or at least some of them, felt weird. MOST of them felt more like caricatures than actual characters. Wells felt fine, and I actually kind of PREFER this take on Wells because he feels LESS like a caricature and more like an actual principle. I can even kind of see a headcanon link between this interpretation of him and the version of him three years having just kind of shed away his decorum from the stress of managing a school undergoing so many changes and financial problems. I really felt for Joyce, and I felt that David's character was finally presented in a way that lacked the cliché “military” skew that LiS1 forced too hard while simultaneously giving the audience an understanding of precisely why his presence in the household would push Chloe so far away (though I still find much of the Joyce/David stuff odd here because we already know where this all leads and nothing here really seems to build anything new from that). Characters like Rachel's dad, the theater teacher, Samuel, Skip, Damon, and Sean Prescott all felt...a bit too cartoony in ways. Damon maybe least of all due to the intensity of that scene and the nice subtext we can pick up (after all, money is a realistic and pragmatic motive to drive one to aggression) In general, the adults felt flatter and more cartoony than I think works for this setting. Not to say they should NEVER be funny or anything, just that I was repeatedly taken out of the story by how jarringly one-dimensional a line was, or how flat a voice delivery was, etc. Fortunately, this problem doesn't really carry over to the teens, who are, of course, the focus of the narrative. I also noticed more moments in this episode where characters' eyes were uncanny, staring straight ahead in unnatural ways – or mouth movements being weird (Samuel being the biggest example, to the point that it jarred me out of the story and distracted from his dialogue). Minor complaint, all things considered, but worth pointing out as I didn't really notice this happen in episode 1, which makes me worry that maybe things got rushed a bit too much? (you guys did release this episode weeks earlier than expected) On the upside, though, this problem did NOT exist when it mattered the most, so at least that detail was put into the important moments. All right, last nitpick – I found the whole “drugging” thing re: the pre-play scene to be in bad taste. On the one hand, I LIKE the premise, and how it really does a fascinating thing with developing/contrasting/comparing Rachel and Victoria (in a way that requires knowledge of alternate events, something only a video game could do), but on the other hand...ya'll made drugging teen girls in an active, malicious way this...joke. While I do love that BtS has more comedy in its tone, I found turning Victoria's drug-induced passing out into a JOKE to be kind of offensive, especially given that she can get drugged and murdered in LiS1 (and Rachel AND Chloe both get drugged and/or murdered?), and just...yea. All in all, I think the concept of this scene works, it's the execution that makes it feel insensitive and kind of worrying. (ex. Victoria passes out and fucking NO ONE calls a doctor or tries to help her, the camera fucking PANS on her unconscious body like it's this joke and the way the whole thing is framed just invites laughter on something that kinda sorta shouldn't be funny given the full context of this story) Anyway, it's kind of like the wine scene in the first episode, but worse in terms of implications, I guess? I'm not THAT torn up over it since it's brief, and everyone's OK in the end, I presume, but it just feels a bit tone deaf when SO MUCH of this episode is SO GOOD. It really took me out of the experience – but the layered nature of it (how Rachel gets her way no matter what, how Rachel AND Victoria are both willing to drug each other, how Vic can be manipulated while Rachel can't) makes it really intriguing. I think the concept here was intriguing, but the execution on stuff like this could be handled more thoughtfully. I could get into pacing issues, I suppose, but honestly, I've already critiqued enough, and I think this episode was really good, so I don't want to get too down on the details when I'm sure others will get into this topic. (like the canon inconsistencies, they’re there, but aren’t really detracting from the good stuff)

OK! With all of that out of the way, let me get into what I loved about this episode, which was most of it. Episode 1 was unclear and uncertain in what it was trying to convey, which makes more sense now that we have Episode 2, which dives right into what this story seems to be about – passion, and the good and bad that comes from it. Passion, to be clear, being different from love. Love is steady, consistent, like a stream of water, while passion is fast and bright and sudden, like fire. I could get into the elemental symbolism you could correlate between wind, water, fire and Chloe, Max, and Rachel, but I'm sure folks have done this already. I do think it's still worth pointing out just how great a job you've done so far using fire as a metaphor for Rachel and Chloe's relationship, both within the story presented here and overarching into LiS as a whole. You managed to work it into the actual plot, as well, in a way that doesn't feel forced or thoughtless – an entire episode later and there are still consequences from it. Having just experienced the CA wildfires a half hour away from my home, I can appreciate a certain level of fear and awe at how much can be affected by fire, even the air itself, and just how quickly it can spread and how much damage it can do in a short time. The fact that the title screen itself it an analogy about passion makes me super excited at the potential for episode 3. Absolutely love that the title screen doubles as atmosphere AND symbolism. Specifically, I have to call out the dream sequence here as being quite awesome. From the moment I saw the burning car with a shadowed figure, I already knew what the visual reveal at the end of the scene was going to be, and was still thoroughly satisfied. I absolutely love LOVE the metaphor William presents about comparing/contrasting light and dark in terms of how both can cause us to lose ourselves, lose our ways, and be blinded. The way this correlates to Chloe's loss of William, Max, and Rachel (darkness) to how she can be blinded by light (passion for Rachel, even excitement about Max's power later on) is all encapsulated in a single bit of dialogue that communicates such an underexplored theme in the medium, and one that makes telling this story from a teenage perspective suddenly feel 100% sensible instead of just a coincidence. Telling a story diving into the theme of passion just wouldn't work the same from a character too young or too old, because it's this part of the human condition that we experience passion the deepest and the hottest. Which brings us to the fantastic play aspect, which is one of my favorite moments in all of LiS at this point. The layers of meaning at work here were genius. First off, it's all a play – an act. And Chloe is trying to keep up, while Rachel is clearly experienced with this. Secondly, the connections between relationships in The Tempest to the protagonists is great use of intertextual storytelling. Thirdly, highlighting a Shakespearean play, which highlights passion from teenage youths, yet another layer. Fourth, they go off script, which itself has really interesting connotations in terms of this game itself existing in the first place as an “off script” piece of the story, as well as how the content of their moment carries an unrealistic, impractical hopefulness to it that is inspiring, but still an act in a play, involving magic and fantasy. Fifth, concluding the scene with the way the play ends adds this really awesome extra layer of meta expression – Rachel as a character gets to be expressed and represented in a way she originally was not, with the help of fans of the LiS developing this prequel, but also fans of LiS breathing life into Rachel before this prequel existed; PLUS the prequel itself is a performance that you, the development team, are putting on for us, the audience. There's just so much going on here, and the musical choices helped seal the moment's emotional impact. Even as myself, coming from the perspective of not trusting Rachel's judgment/actions, I felt as if I finally had a 'moment' where I truly understood why Chloe was so swiftly enamored with Rachel. It reminded me of moments I've experienced in my own past, though nothing as 'magical' as this. It also just highlighted how Rachel's character has power and influence over those around her despite being so young. All in all, bravo. This scene came together fantastically, and I think it's one of the most thoughtfully put together scripted scenes I've ever seen in a video game. This was the moment I fell in love with this story – not because of AmberPrice but because it was so well put together by everyone involved. I think this will probably go down as the highlight of this game when all is said and done. To back things up a bit, I did enjoy the premise of the junkyard stuff. I really liked giving Chloe's character a bit of breathing room on her own – the kinds of things she thinks to herself while exploring the environment showed a bit of Max's influence on her still being present even as she's trying to forget Max. I liked that we could pick different objects to help decorate/fix the van, as well, but the flow of the scene would work better if we could do it all in one trip rather than taking two trips – I found myself disoriented after placing the battery into the car, and by that point had lost track of where specific objects were, whereas it would've been more fitting to maybe have Chloe make note of the items first, or even gather them all up into a pile and let the player choose from there. I predicted and felt satisfied by how the truck was utilized as an analogy for Chloe as a person – broken, banged up, abandoned, lost, but if given enough attention and care, could be back up and running. The therapy session Rachel and Chloe have was also nice at building their relationship further.

Something that wasn't as apparent in episode 1 because it simply needed time to grow was the whole way that Rachel is presented as someone who is flawed. Because the story is from Chloe's perspective, there's maybe too many limits on how this can be developed, though we'll see how the finale handles things, but I really liked that all of the flaws we already know about her character from stuff in LiS1 felt contextualized in this episode. She can be manipulative, short-sighted, impulsive, and even self-absorbed, but it's not malicious or even intentional all of the time. Rachel herself is in a similar position as Chloe – they're teenagers – she is still figuring herself out, what she really wants, who she really wants to be, and how she can achieve those things. All of my doubts, concerns, and fears about this relationship between them all feel validated by their dynamics, by the theming and foreshadowing, and yet it simultaneously makes sense why and how they'd end up together – out of teenage passion, and a shared sense of longing to feel both needed by someone else and taken care of by someone else. The scene after the play, in the street, had a great sense of aesthetic to it, which felt like it was from a teen romance film from the 80's or something. The imagery of the scene highlights the nature of this whole story – a splash of light along a dark road that is Chloe's teenage years. The multiple ways this scene can play out depending on previous choices was neat, too. I was especially intrigued by the possibility of making the “Friendship” choice in Ep1, then asking for a kiss here in this scene – there's this amazing bit of animation in Rachel's face that really shows her thought processes clicking together in an ambiguous way that really fits her character. I'm also super curious as to what will come of the bracelet bit, since Rachel surprisingly gives it to Chloe if you ask for it, despite the fact that we know she ultimately gives it to Frank. There's multiple possibilities of what that could entail, and I'm really interested in seeing how that plays out. This actually reminds me of how much I liked the way decisions from episode 1 have branched out here. Rather than decisions having a single static meaning later on, you have aspects from Episode 1 lead to different branching possibilities of how scenes play out. The outcomes are usually the same, but still, it makes the story feel more dynamic, and I like how these aren't always super obvious. There's a lot of examples of this, from telling Rachel that Chloe feels romantically or not, to stealing the money, to what you do WITH the money, and some other smaller things, too. Great work with this stuff, it helps us see different angles to the characters when we have these options, and highlights what LiS was originally about re: characters – perspective is everything. And yet, Rachel seems almost immune to things in a sense, which is appropriate given how her character works and how she influences those around her. I liked the scene with Frank in the RV and the way it contrasts and compares his future self to his past self. Which reminds me, this episode had a bit more interesting 'character development through environment,' which was a highlight of LiS1 that felt missing from Ep1 of Before the Storm. Whether it was Frank's RV, Elliot's dorm room, the Amber household, or, most poignantly, Drew's dorm room, you guys did a great job letting us learn more about the characters through the environments. While you could argue that it doesn't quite match Chloe's character the way it does Max (and I'd argue that the whole nature of trying to socialize and make friends itself already is kind of against Chloe's character in Ep1), I think it works well enough and just makes sense from a game design standpoint. I liked that we got more opportunities for graffiti in ways that weren't just straight up wall graffiti (ex. Crossword, drawing on the newspaper photo). I glossed over this last time, but part of what I've been frustrated by with Before the Storm is the way Chloe at 16 years old...already feels like Chloe at 19, but slightly more awkward. Episode 2 helped resolve some of this by putting her outside of her comfort zone more and highlighting her vulnerability, cynicism, and uncertainty (whereas Chloe at 19 kind of doesn't give a shit and dives head first into everything and doesn't care what anyone thinks). I also really love the multiple ways you've referenced that Chloe was originally a “nerd” like Max, and has gradually been straying away from that – and yet, it's still part of who she is (and ends up showing itself later on in LiS1, like how she seems to know more about time travel theory than Warren does). In particular, I loved how she pulls up different characters' web search histories – something that doesn't specifically take much effort, but that most people wouldn't think to do. This in and of itself was a really clever way of adding more to character development for those involved. (“why won't puppy eat steak” is hilarious to me and I can't get over it for some reason) The entire scene with Mikey, Drew, and Damon was wonderful. I loved the multiple outcomes and how none of them are specifically good, and any of them can feel in character for Chloe. I think Damon's character feels a little one dimensional here, BUT the context makes sense – he wants his fucking money. He's collecting debts after suffering a huge monetary loss. Of course he's going to be single-minded. As a side note, I loved the small but significant bit re: Damon's e-mail to Frank. Props to whoever came up with that. What a brilliantly subtle way of telling us so much about Damon's true character and his relationship with Frank. Going back to the conflict at the dorm, I loved that you took a bully character who appeared simple and effortlessly fleshed him out enough to feel legitimately believable with real motives. I loved how I was able to figure out the passcode to his lock organically given everything I had seen, and how I then used that knowledge to express what I felt would be in his best interests in the conflict – even though, as my girlfriend pointed out, it might not have been the best long-term outcome. I wish we'd seen more of Mikey and Steph, but what was there was still good. Steph's brief convo with Chloe I saw coming in a good way, and I really liked how you presented it. I liked the bits we got with Samantha and Skip, as well, thought I'm wondering where you're going with Samantha and Nathan. I was actually really frustrated with the Backtalk sequence with Skip, but then, I think that was the whole point. Speaking of, I really didn't like Backtalk in Ep1, but it was overall much better here. In Ep1, Backtalk was like some weird 'Be an Asshole' thing, and it felt weird how the game inherently encouraged you to do this. In Ep2, there were multiple times where I felt unsure if Backtalk was 'the best' way to go, and even then, most of its uses felt much more organic. It wasn't just about being a jerk to make someone feel bad, there was often some organic purpose to it – talking Victoria out of being in the play in a way that made her feel like it was her own decision; trying to get info out of Frank; trying to get into a dorm you weren't supposed to be in; trying to stick up for Rachel in the face of discipline, or trying to help her confront her father. In every case, there was an interpersonal motivation – Chloe wasn't doing it for something she specifically wanted, or just to make someone feel bad, but to try and do something for someone else. Also, they felt more like arguments, or ways of manipulating someone, rather than straight up insults. In some ways, it reminded me of things in TellTale's The Walking Dead Season 2, using more manipulative dialogue to resolve a situation rather than just brute-forcing things. This also contributes toward the theme of 'influence' regarding Chloe being influenced by Rachel so quickly and easily that she's even picking up some of Rachel's tactics (which, one could argue, she uses later on when she's older). This being said, I'm hoping that in Episode 3 we're given a more high-stakes situation that can be resolved using those more manipulative mannerisms, which gives the Backtalk mechanic a “climax” of sorts.

I like the way that you've been able to build this sense of supernatural occurrences without actually showing anything supernatural. The All-Seeing-Eye, the recurring Raven imagery, the weird shit going on with Chloe and others seeming to be having mysterious, prophetic dreams (even Elliot and Frank seem to be having them), the way the ash fall at the end of the episode foils the snowfall at the end of Ep1 of Life is Strange. This builds to a fascinating moment at the end of the episode where, for the first time, perspective SHIFTS from Chloe to Rachel, only for a few seconds, but in a really neat way that leads you to FEEL like something supernatural is about to happen, only for it not to. In a way, this feels like what your overall story could be about in a sense, though it'd be downright odd at this point to have NO answers or resolution regarding what I described above. One of the original game's biggest flaws was how it drummed up mystery only to leave things unexplained or unresolved in ways that damaged the actual plot. Dream sequences don't necessarily do this, but with how much emphasis you've put on them and the Raven/Eye imagery, I feel like there must be a purpose you have here – especially if members of your staff are getting ravens tattooed on their bodies. Naturally, Rachel's mom seems tied to all of this, if not the origin point of it. And I can't help but wonder if we'll even get a perspective shift near the end of the story from Rachel's point of view, if only to help imply or insinuate some things that tie into unanswered elements of Max's story. Speaking of Max, I was much more happy with the 'letters' in this episode, as they spend very little time needlessly bashing a character who wasn't even present, and more time on Chloe quickly becoming obsessed with Rachel – which all makes sense with the arc you seem to be going for. I liked the extra allusions to Chloe's future with Max, such as the maze and William's remark about a “beauty” to come in the future. It's such a complicated thing to tackle – and trust me, I've spent two years and hundreds of thousands of words trying to tackle it myself with these same characters – but I finally have come to a place where I can appreciate the balance you've managed to find between supporting the good elements Chloe and Rachel had going for them, while also implying the bad elements and the reasons why Chloe would develop feelings for Max later on. On a personal level, I relate with Chloe a lot in regards to her relationships (I relate with Max in a lot of ways, too, but that's a separate matter). I have lived through both long term and short term experiences of passion, romantically and platonically. And I have been romantically involved with people who remind me of Rachel. And I think that's part of why I just...don't like her, personally. BUT I am at a place now, after this episode, where I like her as a CHARACTER, even if I don't like her as a fictional person. I never can fully let my guard down around her, but can totally understand why Chloe would (and did), and have been there. And now that I have the context of this episode, I can finally start to see what 'the point' of this story seems to be, which makes me very curious to see how it is resolved. Lastly, again, great job using mocap and facial animation to heighten realism for a lot of scenes. While I noticed more “flat” moments than before, it never detracted from the important moments having that level of detail to make them bring out an extra layer of inevitability. From Chloe knocking at a dartboard to finger-gun gestures, to subtle but complex expressions, just a lot of great expressive details going on here. On that note, I noticed a real improvement in Rhianna’s performance. She felt like she wasn’t trying to mimic Ashly Burch or Ellen Page and was instead just finding her own interpretation of the role, and it works MUCH better. In a way, I still feel a constant sense of ‘this isn’t exactly Chloe’ but not in a bad way, just a...different way. Instead of feeling distracted by her actress being different, I felt instead like I was being more absorbed into this alternate interpretation of the character. Both Hannah and Ashly needed some time to fill into their roles before ‘the good stuff’ really came out in their performances, so I’m really looking forward to what Rhianna might pull off in Episode 3, and what she can do in the future after this role, when she isn’t burdened by the complexities of this kind of situation. I could go on, but I've ranted stream-of-conscious style long enough. I still have some more broad strokes issues with this game’s narrative, but then again, I have issues with the original game’s, as well -- and this story isn’t done yet, so I want to wait until I have the full context before I comment on those broad-scope design elements. I hope at least some of what I've written here is helpful to your team, and that my critical comments highlight just how good a job you guys did with this second entry. Regardless of how I end up feeling about Episode 3 of Before the Storm, I am really happy for your team and what they've pulled off here, and am very supportive of what you seem to be trying to do, as delicate a balancing act as it surely is.