#and they have been EXTREMELY kind and patient despite all the delays

[pangur-and-grim]

anyways, I'm drawing an archaeopteryx

[beardedmrbean]

Amy Gleason, a former emergency room nurse-turned-health care technologist, was scared. It was 2010 and no doctor could figure out what was behind her daughter Morgan’s strange constellation of symptoms, including rashes and muscle weakness so severe that she could no longer walk upstairs.

When Morgan was finally diagnosed with a rare and potentially life-threatening autoimmune disorder after more than a year, Gleason became determined to empower other patients so they didn’t face similar delays in diagnosis.

“If a doctor had seen all of these visits and activity on one single screen put together, they probably would have wondered why this 10- or 11-year-old is going to the doctor all the time,” Gleason said in a 2020 TEDx talk. “And maybe that would have sparked a faster diagnosis.”

Until recently, Gleason, 53, had been a relatively low-profile health care data cruncher with a passion for simplifying access to electronic medical records.

Then, at the end of February, the White House announced Gleason had been named the acting administrator for the Department of Government Efficiency, elevating her to a prominent position in the Trump administration.

Gleason previously worked on projects related to health data at the U.S. Digital Service, DOGE’s predecessor, overlapping with Trump’s first term and the Biden administration.

However, the White House has not provided details about why, exactly, it selected Gleason to lead DOGE — a task force unit at the center of the administration’s efforts to streamline the federal government. 

The move has led many to question whether Gleason is truly in charge or whether the power resides with Elon Musk, the world’s richest man and a special government employee who has been the face of DOGE.

For weeks, the administration evaded questions about who was actually at the helm; the White House said Gleason was the acting administrator only after administration lawyers were unable to answer who was in charge of the agency when questioned in court. Gleason does not appear to have made any public comments since the White House announced that she was DOGE's top official.

The administration has also revealed very little about who else works for DOGE and what they do, despite Musk’s claims of transparency.

Even with Gleason’s title, Musk still seems to hold sway. As recently as Tuesday, Trump referred to DOGE as “headed by Elon Musk,” setting off fresh legal questions about the group’s operations. The working relationship between Musk and Gleason is unclear, and a DOGE spokesperson did not respond Friday to questions about Gleason’s job responsibilities.

Gleason also did not respond to a request for comment for this articles. In interviews, former colleagues described her as highly intelligent and the most valuable asset wherever she works.

“It’s exactly the kind of person you need in a role like this,” said Dr. Gregg Alexander, a pediatrician in London, Ohio, who has known her for about 20 years. “She’s always tried to do the right thing.”

Still, some former colleagues worry that in her DOGE role, Gleason will be inadvertently complicit in cuts to programs that have personal significance to her — including research for rare disease funding. DOGE has threatened dramatic budget cuts to federal health agencies such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health.

The condition that Gleason’s daughter, who is now in her mid-20s, was diagnosed with is called juvenile dermatomyositis. The extremely rare disease is a form of juvenile myositis, in which a child’s immune system attacks its own cells and tissues.

Therapies discovered over the years thanks to partnerships with NIH have improved the prognosis for juvenile myositis, said James Minow, executive director at the advocacy organization Cure JM Foundation, where Gleason served as a board member and vice president for research from 2014 to 2018, according to her LinkedIn profile.

But with the Trump administration trying to cut NIH grant funding, Minow said he worried that DOGE could hamper the rare disease research that Gleason’s family and so many others depend on.

“Amy is a very thorough thinker, and I think that she’ll be one who will make very solid, reasoned recommendations to the president as he looks at fulfilling what he sees as his mission to reduce the size of government,” Minow said. “Obviously, Cure JM is wanting to do everything we can to protect NIH’s investment.”

Gleason’s friends and former colleagues describe her as apolitical. From 2018 to 2021, she worked for the U.S. Digital Service, an agency created by the Obama administration after its chaotic rollout of HealthCare.gov. Much of her stint was dedicated to partnering with the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services to improve patient access to health care records, she said in her 2020 TEDx Talk.

During the latter part of her time there, she worked on the data team for the White House Coronavirus Task Force, creating databases from hospitals and labs that governors and the public relied on to track the virus. Her LinkedIn profile says she rejoined the U.S. Digital Service in January of this year as a senior adviser, though The New York Times reported she was reintroduced at the agency in late December, ahead of Trump’s inauguration.

A long history in the private sector

Gleason has also worked in the private sector at various health care management companies and startups. She held vice president positions at Allscripts, which provided software for electronic medical records, and worked from 2011 to 2018 at CareSync, a Florida-based medical technology startup that she co-founded, according to LinkedIn.

Her LinkedIn profile adds that from 2021 to 2024, she was vice president of product at Main Street Health, which provides care for people in rural areas, and at Russell Street Ventures, a firm dedicated to launching innovative health care.

Both Main Street Health and Russell Street Ventures were founded by entrepreneur Brad Smith, an early senior DOGE member who was previously named as head of the Center for Medicare & Medicaid Innovation in 2020 during Trump’s first administration.

Smith did not respond to a request for comment; according to anonymous sources who spoke to The New York Times, Smith began advising on Musk’s cost-cutting moves late last year and brought Gleason in on the talks. NBC News has not confirmed the report.

Tom Cooke, a retired health care executive who worked closely with Gleason more than 15 years ago, said her position at DOGE was “kind of a curveball.”

“I’ll put my politics on my sleeve: I don’t trust Elon Musk at all in this role. I trust her completely,” he said. “I am confident that she will use her voice strongly and that she’s a straight shooter, whether it’s news that people above her want to hear or not.”

Cooke described Gleason as having an effervescent personality and an unflappable work mentality.

“Professionally, I put a lot on her plate to get done in a very short period of time, and was amazed by her ability to achieve that,” he said.

And on a personal level, “I’ve seen her be really thoughtful with folks that she may have had just a little bit of interaction with,” he said. “She just has a way with people.”

Others were also surprised by her DOGE title. One former health care IT colleague said via a LinkedIn message that “it did seem to come out of nowhere.”

“I was shocked to hear of her appointment to DOGE, having been a fierce and committed patient advocate,” wrote the former colleague, who has known Gleason for 15 years and spoke on condition of anonymity because she was concerned speaking out against the Trump administration could have career repercussions. “To go from such a position of kindness to a position that eliminates jobs for thousands of working parents seems like such a dichotomy in values.”

A graduate of the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Gleason is an avid football fan who likes to needle friends who root for anyone other than the Tennessee Volunteers, said Alexander, the pediatrician. He added that she has a “tremendous sense of humor” and loves to travel.

Gleason’s interest in streamlined medical records and other improvements for patients dates back decades. In 2021, she told the “Tell Me Where IT Hurts” podcast, which examines the intersection between health care and technology, that she started out as an emergency room nurse and “quickly realized how powerful health care technology could be.”

Gleason has said the best career advice she has received was from her parents. She told another health care podcast in 2023 that her dad taught her mistakes are a learning opportunity, and her mom encouraged her to follow her dreams.

“I’ve had a pretty great career trying a lot of new things and following my passions as I develop new ones as well,” she told the podcast.

[limbus-limousine]

OK ACTUALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS. I THINK ITS SO IMPORTANT.

There are so many people who don't seem to understand that a diagnosis IS a privilege. The argument about the financial costs of therapy, psychology etc IS very valid and important. But it's not the only thing.

You guys have NO idea how fucking miserable the state of mental health education is in some places. I talk from personal experience. Depending on where you live getting a diagnosis can be so insanely exhausting, it's unreal. It doesn't have to be a "third world country" either. For context I'm from Spain.

I've had "professionals" spewing information that could be debunked with a quick Google search. Half of them use outdated information(I can't count how many times I've heard these people using the term Asperger's as an actual diagnosis). They use diagnosis criterias that are extremely outdated.

If you have anything that's not stereotypical, or you manifest your symptoms in a uncommon way, or you learnt to mask from a very early age, you're fucked. I've lost count of how many people I've seen, but it's double digits and going up. From all those professionals, (only counting the ones who didn't flat out refuse to allow me to take tests, mind you) not a single one of them has given me the same diagnosis. I've been misdiagnosed with depression. I've been told I'm just gifted. Someone told me I have ADHD. Another one told me I'm autistic but definitely not ADHD. Another one said I'm not autistic at all. Others said that I just have "traits". Some said that I have Asperger's, which isn't even a valid term anymore. I just know that I have an anxiety disorder.

It is really really tiring to go through all of these appointments. Sometimes you know that this is just going to be another cash grab. Sometimes you know the doctor is trying to beat around the bush in order to avoid admitting they have no idea what they're dealing with, you're still gonna have to pay them anyways, what would you know? You're the patient. Sometimes you think you did kind of alright in social security and then they give you the next appointment and it turns out you'll have to wait for 7 months and it won't even be the same doctor.

At some point you just get tired of trying. Sometimes it's not only a cash grab, but also hurtful. I've had a doctor tell me that it was "weird" that I had never been sexually involved with anyone OR wanted to be while I was a minor. I tried guiding some therapists in my diagnosis because I don't want to start over everytime I see a new one, and they spent the entire session trying to convince me that I was "normal". I went to see a guy I was directed to by a hospital w very good reputation and it was only 3 minutes until he told me that he had no idea how to treat me and that I should get someone else.

It took me 4 years to get medicated and I can't even see the doctor who prescribed my meds anymore because his services are private and I only knew him through a friend's contact. My own personal doctors tried to get me off meds despite the overwhelmingly positive effects they had on me, with no explanation. They delayed my prescriptions several times.

Do I have a definite diagnosis? No. Not really. But I can deduce shit. These people are not experienced. There just aren't enough candidates who gaf about this field. I just. Gave up after getting meds. I'll self diagnose before I go back to the same bullshit I had to circle around for years. I think this depends on what you really consider to be a self diagnosis but I'd say I'm in a weird spot. I've had people violently deny diagnoses that others said were obviously valid. They were both listed as professionals in the field, so what do I believe? At that point you believe what feels right. As long as you don't use self diagnosis to flaunt on the internet, it's harmless. It's helpful. It's necessary. It is really comforting when you feel like you're lost and the people who are meant to help you don't even want to listen.

It's ok to not want to bother if you've had bad experiences too. Personally I'm letting this rest. The whole hereditary neurodivergency thing has me tired. Unfortunately I can't fully stop giving a fuck because I do need psychiatrists and therapists. When you deal with shitty specialists in this field you start to realize that they can only do simple diagnoses. As I started fixing my own shit with the little guidance I had I realized I have tons of other issues just... Entwined with everything. They can't seem to get that? And look, I'm not blaming them for not being able to read my mind, I'm blaming them for marketing themselves as something that they aren't. Some of these doctors aren't well versed in neurodivergency at all. I'm dead serious like. It feels like they were trained on big bang theory to diagnose autism and expect everything else to just be comforting some kid after a break-up. If you got anything else that isn't stereotypical or super classic get ready to waste your money meaninglessly or drown in your own misery, how fun isn't it?

It can be really disheartening, as I've said. I've started realizing that I have other problems that are trauma related, I just tried to use the other issues as a escapegoat because they were not as hurtful to accept. And because whenever I mentioned anything during sessions it got brushed off lmfao. I know I won't be fully content with the help I receive, at least not in a very long time. Right now I'm just hoping that a diagnosis related to trauma rather than a hereditary nd will be easier for me, and hopefully get some leads on a possible c-ptsd 🥲

Anyways please, if you have actual concerns about your mental health inform yourself. Don't believe anything you see on social media without doing your own research before. Don't believe everything your doctor tells you if it feels wrong. They aren't always right. It takes time and introspection, you are not ableist or an attention seeker for self diagnosing.

Please take care

Reblog this post if you are professionally diagnosed and you support informed self diagnosis and you hate people accusing others of faking disorders when they have no evidence to support that

[stxrvel]

a piece of heaven

summary: what if you and Bucky were part of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: around 4k i think

warnings: mentions and mourning of a character's death

note: i feel refreshed. i hope you like this! English is not my first language so sorry for any mistake.

You watched through the masses of air at Bucky, a smile expanding on his face followed by a laugh that, over time, became much more constant and that was able to give you a feeling of lightness in your whole body, as if you could fly lost in everything you felt for him.

As if having him there in front of you was a little more than having a piece of heaven.

Your mind wandered, sitting on the ship as you watched the rest of the group hang out in front of a campfire Rocket had lit. You remembered the first time you saw Bucky.

-

Sitting on a bench under a tree on the planet Xandar, you waited patiently for the rest of the group to show up with the reward for the work you had done. An extremely wealthy man had asked you to track down and return a scepter that some mercenaries had stolen from him. You tracked these people for about five planets until you found what you were looking for. It had cost you quite a bit because the ship Quill had left for you had broken down and you couldn't leave the planet until the repairs were completed, which cost you to fall behind schedule.

Gamora and Drax had gone to make the delivery while you were still waiting for the man to give you the same price they had agreed to despite the delay. After all, it wasn't really your fault that had happened, the man never mentioned exactly what kind of mercenaries you had to deal with.

“Did Gamora say anything about what we're going to do after this?”

You heard Rocket make a sound of denial as he sat down next to you, “But with the amount we agreed on we could take a vacation.”

You let out a laugh, your gaze focused on the crowds, “You? You want a vacation?”

“I'm getting old, kiddo,” Rocket mumbled, and you turned to see him cross his little arms sulkily.

“I am Groot.”

You heard your other companion dip his spoon, and looked up to notice him watching the two of you sitting on the bench. Rocket let out a snort, “Watch your mouth, tree, I'm still older than you.”

“I am Groot,” he replied reluctantly, his gaze drifting to the fountain in front of you.

“Hey!” Rocket uncrossed his arms and turned to look at him, “Being born again made you very rude.”

You smiled at the interaction of your two companions, and a sense of nostalgia inexplicably formed in your chest. You had already spent more than five years working and living with them, though the more time passed, the slower everything felt and reality blurred.

When you ran away from home you knew you were doing the right thing, even if it scared you. Navigating from planet to planet was scary and many times you were on the verge of a fatal fate, but you managed to slip away at the right time. You lived on the run and bounties, learning the way of the mercenaries, until Peter Quill found you in a raid. You were with a group of intergalactic assassins, fairly novice, who were to steal special weaponry. You could say that everything was going well until the Guardians arrived, but the truth was that you didn't know how they, the assassins, had gotten so far.

You fought Peter like you fought anyone else: as if your life depended on it. You had learned to live on the edge and understood that any fight could be your last, but you wouldn't go down without putting up a fair fight. Just as you were about to defeat Peter, Gamora knocked you out, catching you off guard. The next thing you knew, you were on a ship, hundreds of millions of miles away from the last place you had stayed, and surrounded by a bunch of people you didn't know.

You didn't know what the Guardians' real purpose for taking you in had been, all Gamora would say was that you were a girl who had been through too much. Things you didn't deserve, and that it could be different if you went on an adventure with them.

It was hard for you. It was hard to trust that their motives were real, that they weren't waiting for you to fall asleep to kill you. You slept for months with a knife in your hand. Any sound scared you and you were always so alert, that eventually you began to feel exhausted.

Some time after you were taken in, Peter was killed. And for a long period, you thought it was your fault. The emotional exhaustion you were carrying had worked against you and, once you tried to escape even though for months they had done nothing but help and protect you, you were captured by the enemy they were fighting. Peter did his best to rescue you as well as the rest of the group, but his efforts led him to have to give his last breath that night.

It's fair to say you couldn't sleep for days. And presently, the last look he gave you before he died is etched in your memory with fire.

“It was your fault, Drax,” Gamora's voice in the distance snapped you out of your whirlwind of thoughts, “I was already talking him into it,” the woman added between chuckles, looking at the Kylosian as if she wanted to bite his head off.

You watched Gamora walk over to where you were standing with a choleric look on her face. Her footsteps were so loud they could have caused cracks in the ground and she was carrying one of her blades in her hand, which made you one hundred percent sure she had threatened Drax with it before she arrived for whatever it was he had caused.

You waited for the woman to arrive so she could explain to yoy what had happened and why she was so angry, but one fleeting glance at Drax and you seemed to have figured it all out. Or well, more like a glance at who was accompanying Drax.

The Kylosian held in one of his hands a chain that he pulled at the speed he was approaching, the sound of which brought back memories of your past without the Guardians. Behind him, a man with an expression of boredom and deep seriousness was approaching you as well, being drawn in by the chains around his wrists and ankles. The sheer scene caused you to look in utter contempt.

“What the hell is that?” Rocket asked as he stepped off the bench and watched the man who had stopped behind Drax, at a sufficient distance to hear and understand everything you were saying. You watched him roll his eyes before turning his gaze elsewhere, as if anything was more interesting than meeting the people he seemed to be tied to now.

“Gamora, what happened?” you looked at the Zehoberei with a frown, your face denoting that your mind was drawing conclusions you strongly disagreed with.

“The man said he would only have given us the promised amount if we had arrived before the deadline he gave us was up,” Gamora began to explain and Rocket, as he listened to her, kicked one of the waste baskets near the bench mumbling curses at the man, “Since we didn't deliver, he won't give us what we were promised.”

“Damn it,” Rocket exclaimed, a little louder, loud enough to interrupt Gamora.

The aforesaid glanced at Drax, before continuing, “I was just about to convince the man to give us the credits, when Drax,” she mumbled his name, her gaze darkening as she watched him, “got the bright idea to steal one of the jewels that were on display in this man's room, thinking no one would notice.”

You watched the Kylosian maintain a serene expression at Gamora's outburst, as if he wasn't at all sorry for what he did.

“Luckily I got him to let us out alive. Still, the man decided to gift us something for returning the scepter to him, which was one of the most precious things he had.”

“And he gave us as a gift... A person?” Rocket exclaimed, “What the hell do we want a person for? What good is it even for?”

“He said he was one of the most feared people on his home planet,” Drax spoke for the first time and Rocket turned to stare at him, as if he had said the stupidest thing in his life. But soon his face changed, a gleam in his eye appeared and you just knew he'd come up with something you wouldn't agree with.

“Let's dismember him and turn him into a...!”

“No,” you reneged raising your voice and the raccoon cursed in frustration.

“I'm sorry, Y/N,” your gaze fell on Gamora, who seemed to have slowed her fury to speak to you, “I know you detest everything about this,” she pointed at the man and his chains, preferring not to say anything that might trigger an uncomfortable situation for you, “but it was either accept it or live with the consequences of what this idiot did. Or rather, not live.”

You nodded in Gamora's direction, your mind already drifting to memories you'd rather not bring to the surface at that moment. You turned your gaze to watch the man, who was still watching the people passing by on the bridge you were on. You gave him a quick appraisal and couldn't notice anything that was unfamiliar to you besides his clothing.

“You're from Earth,” you made the clarification. You were sure, but you wanted to hear it from the man. Since Peter, you hadn't met anyone else who came from the same planet as you. But the man didn't respond, didn't even make any movement to indicate he was listening to you.

At this, Drax pulled on the chains that held him captive, causing the unknown man to turn to look at him with a murderous look. You didn't know if that rich man was right in saying that he was one of the most feared people on Earth, but he was definitely an intimidating person.

“You were asked a question,” Drax said, his most fearless voice making an appearance.

“It wasn't a question, Drax. And put that down already, please.”

You took the chains Drax was holding in your hands and threw them to the ground. Then, you pulled a portable melter out of your pocket to remove the man's hold on his wrists and ankles.

When you looked back at him, he was already looking at you with the most wary and cautious expression you had ever seen in your life. It was as if he was waiting for one of you to jump on him to hurt him. It reminded you of your early days with the Guardians and, for some reason, Peter popped into your mind.

“We're not going to hurt you,” you said to the man, who didn't even flinch even though you had moved away from him to respect his space.

“Unless-”

“I said no,” you interrupted Rocket, and heard him let out a snort before turning back to the bench. Drax and Gamora were still by your side, “You can leave, if that's what you want. We're not going to use you as a slave.”

Gamora watched you, a gleam in her eye as she recognized a part of Peter in you. As much as you always denied it, she knew that the man had been an important part of your life and your growing up, as had she and the others. Well, not so much Drax and Rocket probably. But she took pride in knowing that you had kept the best of him.

The man was still unresponsive, his hands clasped at his sides and his body tense. As you were about to turn and leave with the others, Gamora spoke, “Or you could come with us.”

Your gaze shifted to hers, but she was focused on the man who turned to look at her as if he had sprouted another head.

“I understand that you don't trust us, but we're not the kind of people who torture or kill people for fun.”

You heard Rocker let out a growl followed by a, "speak for yourself." You rolled your eyes and turned in time to see Groot hit the raccoon with one of his branches.

“Hey!”

“I am Groot.”

“Argh. Sentimental tree.”

“We'll be in hangar five until dark,” Gamora spoke again, “We'll get supplements, fuel, and in the evening we'll leave.”

Gamora approached him, and you watched him almost go into attack position, but he allowed her to put a hand on his shoulder. He remained in a ready stance even as she moved away, and then rested his gaze on yours.

“In case you want to join us,” you added to what Gamora said, as you listened to your companions move in the direction of the hangars, “But if you decide to stay...”

You threw in his direction something small that you had taken out of your small bag. The man caught it in mid-air, his gaze frizzled, almost frightened, he examined what you had given him until his expression became confused. An antique music player, just like the one Peter had left you some time ago. This was a spare, the one you normally used because you didn't want the other one damaged or lost; it was too valuable.

You looked at his face again, he was still confused, but there was something different there. You knew what it felt like to have something to remind you of all the good things you had lost. Your time on Earth wasn't the best, there were too many things you hated to remember and others you'd rather forget, but there were also things that brought back good memories. Like the music reminded you of breakfasts in coffee shops, the sun against the window and a good vibe that kept you sane for the rest of the day. It was like holding a piece of heaven in your hands, that's what the man in front of you looked like.

He looked at you, not a word came out of his mouth, but you understood he was grateful. Wary, but you had touched a delicate fiber in him.

So you smiled at him with your hands in your pockets, and turned around to catch up with the rest of the group.

His gaze lingered on your figure until you disappeared into the crowd.

-

That same night, it was the second time you saw him and, from that moment on, you never lost sight of him again. Also that night, as you traveled, he shared a little of himself with the group.

By a little bit you meant his name.

Bucky Barnes.

Since you didn't get the credits you were hoping for, you embarked on a new mission to try to get more than a little bit of nothing.

You soon discovered that the missions with Bucky were much easier to cope with than you had thought. You knew that Gamora was initially worried that he might decide to leave one day with his merchandise or that they might not have harmony when deploying in the field, but all of her concerns were dismissed from the first mission. The group and Bucky hit it off almost automatically, and the man even contributed some ideas that turned out to be instrumental in their mission victory.

“It's going to take him a while to open up to us,” you remembered Gamora once telling you, “He reminds me of you to some extent.”

You smiled unconsciously, your gaze settling on Bucky, who stood a distance away from where you stood with the player you gave him in his hands. He had the headphones on and you were amused at how he was frowning and how small the device looked in his hands. He seemed to accept it, but at the same time he was still in denial.

“I don't blame him. I can't imagine what things he had to have gone through to get to where they found him.”

-

Every time you opened your eyes in the morning, you felt time passing faster and faster. Ever since Peter died, you stopped counting the time passing just because you didn't want to reach the day when it would be a year since his death. Or two, or three...

But Gamora did just the opposite.

When it was one year since Peter's death, it had been four months since Bucky had joined the group.

You remembered that, during that week, Gamora was a little quieter than usual and suspicious in her attitudes. It was even stranger when she said they would take a week off before continuing with the bounties. But since you trusted her, you decided not to question her decisions.

It was until you woke up that day, a strange feeling in your body as you stared at the ceiling from your bunk without moving a muscle to get up.

“She won't be mad about that?” You heard Bucky's voice approach. You'd had to get used to hearing it because his bed was right below yours, “I mean, from what you told me she doesn't talk about it since it happened.”

You felt a tingling in your stomach. A nauseous feeling made you want to run out and throw up.

“She probably hates me, yes,” you heard the voice of the person Bucky was talking to, Gamora, “but he was my...”

Her voice stopped abruptly. You heard her sigh deeply before she spoke again, “Trying to forget what happened won't make it get easier over time. It's always harder for people who live in denial.”

Bucky didn't answer her, and then you heard Gamora's footsteps heading for the exit.

The ship was not moving. There was no sound you could identify as the engine or thrusters. They had landed somewhere, and you weren't sure you wanted to know what it was.

“I know you're awake,” Bucky's voice alerted you, “Your breathing gives you away.”

You would be surprised by his words, but you could also clearly hear him breathing. Sound was practically nil inside the ship, and since Gamora had left, any other sound was easily picked up by your ears.

“Good for you,” you replied, your irritated voice slurring the words.

“You don't have to leave if you don't want to, but you shouldn't hold it against Gamora.”

“Sure, I shouldn't,” you said rolling your eyes.

Bucky took a few seconds to respond.

“Is that sarcasm?”

You let out a snort as you decided to get up and sit on the edge of the bunk, your legs dangling and your forearms resting on your thighs. You watched Bucky with a scowl, “What do you think, genius?”

The aforementioned raised his eyebrows along with his hands, an expression of amusement conjugated with one of shock adorned his face. He was almost certain that he had never heard you speak to him like that since he got here. You only directed that tone of voice at Rocket when he purposely antagonized you to piss you off.

“We wake up angry from what I see.”

“Since when did you become such a tease, Bucky?”

Bucky grimaced, lowered his hands and watched you, his expression softening generated an awkwardness in you that alerted you to the possibility of getting into having a conversation you hadn't had with anyone since that happened. Your body jerked slightly in anticipation. You didn't want to have that conversation. Not with him. Not with anyone. Ever.

You heard him sigh, your gaze lost somewhere between his shoes and the floor of the ship. He started walking forward, and you could barely see him sit up in his bed, in the same position you were in.

“I don't miss a lot of things from Earth, you know?” Bucky spoke after a few seconds. You frowned, but didn't interrupt him, “Almost everyone I knew was dead or didn't remember me. At that time I remember just thinking what was the point of being alive. I lived constantly in a war, with memories haunting me every night and the constant fear of going back to who I was before. That was no life for anyone.”

“Steve...” Bucky paused, and you pursed your lips because you knew he almost didn't talk about his friend, “Steve gave me a chance to live again. He gave me a chance to feel like I truly had a purpose. And that scared me. I was too scared to try to live, out of danger, all alone. If he wasn't around, I didn't know if I was going to be able to make it.”

“But I did. I survived, and although it took me a long time to find my purpose, I don't regret the decisions I made. I don't regret the planets I was on. I don't regret taking the opportunity Steve gave me and not just because it was a sacrifice on his part, but because in time I understood what he had understood long before I did: living in fear was holding me back from being who I truly am.”

“And I'd rather remember him, you know? I'd rather celebrate every moment of his existence by remembering him and doing what I do in his name because that's what he deserves. I can't do anything for him now that he's gone, I can't bring back time. All I can do is live this life he gave me and treasure the memories we made together every day of my life.”

You heard your breathing quicken as Bucky finished speaking. You hadn't realized at what point the tears began to make their way down your cheeks, but you were too busy thinking, reflecting, reminiscing, to worry about it. You appreciated Bucky's effort to share such an important piece of his life as that was, and you knew what his goal was in doing so. He wanted to let you know that he understood what you were going through, and the thought just was bigger than you could imagine.

You knew that, like you, the others had also lost their partner, had lost a friend. And there were times when you felt you were acting selfishly, because they had gone through the same thing you had. They had lost too.

But Peter gave his life so that you could continue to live yours, even though for a long time you continued with your bitter attitude when you had already accepted them into your life. You felt that you didn't give him enough, that everything you had done while he was alive wasn't enough to match the sacrifice he made for you.

You didn't deserve him to do that for you.

“I know your head's coming up with a thousand reasons why you should keep thinking you didn't deserve Peter sacrificing himself for you.”

Bucky's voice woke you up, and you looked up to see him standing in front of you again. His arms were crossed over his chest and his expression was serious, he almost looked like he wanted to scold you, but he also looked like he felt a little helpless for not being able to ease the weight on your shoulders.

“And I know it's going to be hard to convince you otherwise. Like Peter really believed you were someone worth sacrificing for.”

Your face contracted and you felt the tears fall down your cheeks again. Those words had pierced your heart and, for some reason, it hurt so much more to think about that than anything else. That Peter thought you were someone worth sacrificing for.

“But it's not impossible, Y/N, because that's the truth. There wasn't someone here who knew you as well as he did. Maybe that you were from the same planet helped a lot in forming that connection.”

You wiped your tears before looking back at Bucky, “I didn't think you were the type to give motivational speeches.”

Bucky shrugged, his lips twisting into a nonchalant grimace, “I started from scratch, remember? I had to leave some bad habits behind.”

“But you lasted a while sleeping with a gun when you started staying on the ship,” you chided him.

“I didn't survive or get that far because I kept trusting that everyone was going to help me. A lot of people tried to kill me, but hey, I never lost the will to keep trying,” a half smile graced his face, one of the few he would show from time to time, usually when he was comfortable or off guard, which was when they had these kinds of conversations, “Resilience. It's something I learned from Steve.”

Finally, you smiled at him. You still felt a lump in your throat and the urge to keep crying hadn't gone away. And you realized that Gamora was right, living in denial would only make everything harder for you. As Bucky said, it wasn't going to be easy, and he was also right that you couldn't live with your back to the man who gave his life for you. The least you could do was celebrate and cherish those memories together, even if you felt them shake and squeeze your heart every time you did.

But you were going to be, because you were not alone.

Bucky felt you back and reached out one of his hands to help you off the bunk.

You were definitely not alone.

-

Bucky became much more communicative from that day on. He accompanied you in your mourning and you accompanied the other Guardians as you finally began to come to terms with Peter's death.

By the time six months had passed since Bucky's arrival with the group, you felt you knew almost every aspect of his life. Sometimes you'd talk at night when either of you couldn't sleep, or sometimes Bucky would join you in bed when he heard you breathing faster than usual. Sometimes, it was all the product of a bad dream, but other times, it was because of your own thoughts.

“Y/N?” you reminisced in your head about Bucky's voice one night when you'd had a dream of Peter, and you couldn't help but start crying when you woke up. You thought you had been silent, but you must have thought better than to believe you could fool the super soldier, “Y/N, are you okay?”

You didn't answer him. You weren't capable. Your vision was blurring every second with new tears, quickly replacing the ones that had already fallen. Your rapid breathing prevented you from thinking of anything else, like trying to calm down. You could only think about him, about that moment, about what it did to your life. How sometimes you were angry at what he had done and other times it made you so sad that you thought you were never going to get out of it.

Your body moved on automatic then. You stood up, swung your feet off the bed and in one leap landed in front of Bucky. You watched his face. His frown was furrowed and a confused but mostly worried expression was plastered on his face.

“What's wrong?” he spoke again.

He spoke softly, as if trying to be careful with his words. HIis dismay at your state of mind upset you somehow, but it also made you feel different.

As if you no longer had to spend all those nights alone.

You didn't answer him. Again. Instead, your body moved towards him, who could only watch the tears fall down your face without being able to do anything to calm you down. He didn't know if he could approach, or if he should; nor if his words were of any use at that moment.

But it didn't matter, because at that moment you gave him the answer.

Cautiously you lay down beside him, snuggling into his chest and sobbing as if your life depended on it. You felt Bucky tense, still, and it scared you that you stepped over a line just because you didn't want to be alone.

But he slipped his arms around your body and pulled you to him, and you slipped your hands around his neck, clinging to him as if he was the last thing you had left in your life.

“Easy, you're going to be okay,” Bucky whispered close to your ear and you allowed yourself to believe him for a moment.

Clinging to him, every inch of your body close to his, you wondered if this is what it truly felt like to hold a piece of heaven in your hands.

-

You sighed, your chest moving in time with your breathing as you continued to watch the rest of your friends talking around the campfire. Two years later, you wouldn't have been able to believe before that you would one day be like that, in that place.

It was three years since Peter's death and, as in the previous two years, Gamora had taken them to Earth, sitting by the tree you had planted in his honor and enjoying the day together, talking and reminiscing about the best times you had spent together until nightfall.

The day had already passed and the time was approaching when you had to leave. You had gone ahead, opening the ship and starting the engines while the others began to put away the few things they had taken out so they could leave.

Bucky was the last to finish, the others settling into their positions as he closed the hatch and you waited for him in the corridor.

“You look different,” the man commented as he caught up with you, a half smile on his face.

“I feel different,” you nodded, a big smile expanding on your face as he approached, “Better.”

“You don't know how glad I am to hear that,” his body reached for you, his hands automatically wrapping around your waist and pulling you in to plant a quick kiss on your forehead.

“Move it, lovebirds! We're taking off now,” Rocket's voice reached you, both of you letting out a laugh before breaking away and approaching the rest of the group.

“Well, what should we do next?” Drax vociferated the question that was on everyone's mind. Rocket turned to look at Gamora who had her lips pursed in thought. You smiled.

“Something good?” the woman asked, a smile peeking on her face.

“Or bad?” you spoke this time, smiling broadly and Rocket let out a laugh as he raised the ship, before adding, “A bit of both?”

Drax joined in Rocket's laughter, and you watched them all from your position, one of your hands holding Bucky's who you watched grinning at you before you heard everyone say at the same time:

“Bit of both!”

“I am groot!”

[millennial-star-gazer]

A Fire Dragon, His Princess and The Not-So-Terrible Party Aftermath: Chapter:5

A Fire Dragon, His Princess and The Not-So-Terrible Party Aftermath

Nalu week 2020 Prompts: Voice, Flirt, Charm & Smile(All implied)

Genres: Romance, Humor, New Adult Fanfiction

Pairing: Nalu/Endlu (Natsu x Lucy & E.n.d. Natsu x Lucy)

Rating: M for language, steamy and mature/adult sexual content (all consensual) in these and future chapters. Reader Discretion is advised.(You've been warned!)

Summary: God knows it was all fun and games at an outdoor guild party until a drinking contest results in a not-so-great time for a certain celestial wizard much to the dismay of a protective dragon slayer and company. Even worse is Lucy's hangover with some kind of mild flu and busted ankle to boot . At least a doting Natsu is more-than-willing to provide his mate plenty of TLC. One of my entries for Nalu week 2020 and part of the Nalu-centric anthology series The Dragon Demon and His Celestial Princess anthology series (slight au/ canon divergent).

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Chapter: 5: Of All The Over-Protective Loved Ones And Nonsensical Health Remedies

A/N: Hey folks, it's your girl back with another installment of AFHCPATNSTPA! Apologies for the delay! My beta and I have been somewhat busy on and off for different reasons which will be explained further in the bottom author's note. Anyways, Chapter 5 is finally posted for your reading pleasure with plenty of Nalu fluff, Gray and Natsu rival-related hijinks and humor to go around! Many thanks and a special shoutout to the awesome @mannyegb for helping me edit and further develop this chapter yet again! Seriously, words can't express how grateful I am for this dude's contributions or how invaluable they are ! Make sure to hit him up on Tumblr and Discord. Now without further ado, here's the chapter-enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairytail which instead belongs to the one and only Hiro-sensei instead!

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Legend

Italics: Fantasy, flashback & literary/ song quotes

Bold: First Person Thoughts

Bolded Italics: empathized word

Bolded Italics: outside of main story): A/N

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"Friends are the family you choose".

(NIN/Ithilinin: Elven Rogue)

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"Seriously Natsu? Again?! "

Lucy's exasperated voice echoed through the stairwell of the couple's duplex after returning home from a trip to the local physician's appointment and some errands. Can't believe we're having this conversation again. Little did the other nearby tenants and neighbors know that this wasn't the first time that the two disagreed over his sometimes -overprotective nature instincts or the level of " safety precautions" for the sake of his mate's well being.

Bloody Hell ...

"I'm not a porcelain doll, y' know!" The wizard grumbled, arms crossing over her chest. "I mean, really!"

"Mhmmm." Nastu merely hummed in response with a lazy smirk illuminating those sage eyes much to her chagrin.

"Are you even listening to me right now?"

"Course I am , beautiful" came his reply without missing a beat. "But damn." Difficult to miss the hint of a flirtatious purr in the fire wizard's voice or how his eyes swept over his mates form in apprecation that sent her pulse jumping into a frenzy . "Do you know what seeing ya' all flustered like this does to me? I mean you're even more adorable, gorgeous, and irresistible than you already are right now. Kissable too."

"Well, th-thank you" Lucy mumbled, heat rising and pooling in her cheeks. God knows how she couldn't but be a little subconscious over the effect of his natural charms despite being irritated. "But I don't think no's really a good time for flirting."

"Aw who says?" Natsu challenged with a throaty chuckle. Agree to disagree, princess ." Notto mention the gleam of mirth dancing in his eyes or the languidly smooth empathis on one of her beloved nicknames that he knew turned her knees to jellow .

Cocky bastard..

And damn were those supple hands currently settled on the curve of the summoner 's waist distracting in all the best possible ways.

"This couldn't be a more perfect time for flirting…"

One of the dragon slayer's hands was reaching to drag the blonde's locks through his fingertips. and Holy Hell did that blush deepen all thanks to that shit-eating of his and the way he continued to play with her hair .

Fuck ... there he goes again.

"Don't you think,Luce?" He finished, twirling, and tucking a stray tendril behind her ear as if to puncture his point further.

Damn it...

God damn did all those calculated ministrations kickstart the flustered girls heart into overdrive .

Again. So hard to focus right now. He 's that good…

As if that soft gasp tha wasn't t slipped out of her mouth wan't already enough. And pretty clear that noise undetected by Natsu if the way his sage eyes were glittering like coals was any indication.

"Someone' s flustered" His words came out as infuriatingly goading and yet velvety at the same time. " But I know you're into this as much as I am…. and you're falling prey to my charms." Natsu let his thumb lightly graze along the contour of her cheek. "Oh yeah. I can tell. Your heart's racing and everything." Now the fire dragon slayer wizard's forehead was mere inches from Lucy's. All that was needed for for her heart rate to skyrocket for the third time just as he so brazenly pointed out.

"Nastu..." the blonde started only for the words to die in her throat when her breath hitched from Natsu 's lips brushing against hers.

Shit...

"Are...you…trying…to…distract...me?" Was what she finally managed to force out, desperate longing seeping into her breathy tone.

"Me? Never." Natsu denied, the soft vibrations of his smoky timbre against her lips sending a tingle rippling across all those nerves. "Just having a little fun, is all."

"You are?"

"And I succeeded!"

Wait...what!?

Nastu was pulling back ever so slightly from Lucy without so much as a warning. God did that unwelcome disruption not fly so well with the mage who moaned in protest.

That pompous little...

"So that entailed luring your your mate in?" She eventually objected with a sour glare at her pompous -ass-of boyfriend." And then leaving her hanging? Pretty sure that classifies as some kind of entrapment! Just how much of a shameless flirt can you be?!"

"Opps.. guess you're not a happy camper right now," Natsu snickered, flashing her an awfully impish grin as if he were caught red-handed like a delinquent high school student drinking in class. "I mean I'm definitely a 'shameless flirt 'when it comes to you but I'm not going to leave you out to dry like some emotionally or romantically dead-beat loser. Knew exactly what I was doing and can't get over how cute my girl is when she's all flustered. No need to worry though." He gave a sly-yet-rougish wink that nearly left the summoner 'a heart stuttering.

Not that I'm going to tell him that.

"I promise to deliver on that promise of plenty of kisses and affection that we both crave so much. You'll see!"

"I... you ... y-you're such an ass!" Lucy stammered, entire face flushing an deeper shade of crimson. "Did you even hear what I said about... God damn it!"

"You mean about you not being made out porcelain?" Natsu was quick to supply, automatically clueing in. "Yes Luce, I did." His voice was all business now but more patient than cross. "And you're definitely right but that busted ankle of yours might as well be with how fragile it is right now. That's what having a sprained ankle means. A finger pointed down at Lucy 's sandal -clad foot with a tensure bandage .

"And why I need to carry ya'. Either way, you wanna get upstairs, right?"

"Well gee thank you for stating the obvious and what everyone already knows about sprained ankles." Lucy huffed, rolling her eyes. "And of course, I wanna get up upstairs but why is carrying me all the way up and down even necessary? You already gave me a piggyback to the clinic for God's sake! Not to mention pushing me around on a god damn platform cart while we were shopping for medicine and other supplies at the pharmacy without letting me set foot on the ground even once!

"Both were necessary to keep you from falling again." Natsu reasoned, still not budging on the matter; even when in the process of methodically removing the key holder's shoes. "Plus, I love having ya' in my arms and that cart had lots of room for you to comfortably stretch out on. Pretty practical if you ask me."

"More like total overkill!" Lucy tossed back, vein ticking above her eye. "Anyway, I might not be as fast, but can still definitely make my way up and down the stairs with a walking assist! Can't you just let me try at least?!"

"No can do, sweetheart," Natsu rebutted with a shake of his head. Good lord it was astounding how this extremely persistent man was able to unwittingly shoot down all of her ambitions for any kind of semi-independent mobility. and yet be so damn patient and even-tempered at the same time. "Can't risk you missing a step and taking another tumble down these stairs."

"Ugh...Oh My God- you're unbelievable!" Lucy couldn't help but yell; throwing her hands up in ggravation. which was met with an infuriating laugh of amusement from a certain pyro .

"The most unbelievable of them all.! Now quit complainin' relax and enjoy the ride up to our apartment!"

"Natsuuuu!"

Such a debate became a common occurrence in the Dragneel-Heartfilia household over the week with neither Natsu or visiting friends— Celestial spirits included- letting Lucy out of their sight or use stairs by herself. The extremely disgruntled mage would often gripe about her "stupid over-protective boyfriend and friends" even though ;despite secretly melting from being in the dragonslayer's arms all the time along with the rest of his "TLC." Not so much with Ezra, however, who'd often insist on personally escorting Lucy up and down the stairs herself ;when it wasn't by Natsu, Happy or anyone else.

My God is that woman overly cautious! It's beyond irritating!

Other than that, one minor pet peeve, Lucy supposed she couldn't really complain too much. Not when she was blessed with spending quality time with the love of her life and phomoneal comrades/friends who were all more than willing to keep her company. Well, okay save for that one time involving a nonsensical squabble about ailment remedies between Natsu and Gray one day.

"I'm telling you— these will help Lucy feel better!" Natsu insisted, dumping a paper bag of what could be described as god-awful-Scotch-covered-eye-sores-with-strings-attached on the counter. "See?" A hand patted the side of the misshapen bundle of items.

Uh...

Lucy meanwhile, couldn't help but steal a furtive glance of disbelief from her coral-haired soulmate; who was currently sniffing the unsightly abominations with an particularly intense focus for some inexplicable reason.

"The hell are ya' doing , charcoal-brains?!" Gray demanded, voice coming out in a mixture of incomprehension and disdain. "And what even are those things?"

"Inspecting these babies for germs," Natsu replied with an eye roll as if the answer was the most obvious in the world. "Duh! What else would I be doing'? Can't have em' infecting Lucy. And they're a supposed to be a special kind of talisman for health and good luck. Even an ice overrated snowcone like you should know that. Basically Scotch-taped covered piles of leaves and Vic patches wrapped in tissue paper. If I hang these around the apartment, then they should do wonders for Luce's health."

"You know by gradually sucking the virus toxins from her body until she's better," he tacked on with an 'exuberant grin. "Or so I heard from Nab, Maco, and Wakaba. Dudes bought entire boxes full for 20 jewel a piece from a pop-up vendor of some merchant in the market. The lady swears by them and everything. Either way, aren't they awesome?! Right, Luce? His head turned towards Lucy. "Bet you'll be better in no time!"

"I ...uh... " The blonde sputtered, still too bewildered for words." I don't…."

"Oh Good God," Erza muttered, smacking a palm against her forehead. "Of all the—-Natsu, I highly doubt those would be effective in treating Lucy's illness."

"Huh? Why wouldn't they be?"

"Well..."

"Oh jeez...How can anyone be this dense?"

Gray was shooting out of his seat at the table with an exasperated noise. "Step aside fire boy, I'll find Lucy something. Her fridge should have some suitable ingredients." A hand pulled opened the door of the fridge before rummaging around inside much to Lucy's confusion Course why a random assortment of food in the form of onions and ginger Along with some lemons were being cleared out was anyone's guess.

"Onions, lemons and ginger" The ice wizard announced, sounding tremendously pleased with himself. "Should be just what the doctor ordered for Lucy. I'm gonna chop these up and boil em' with some cinnamon in a tea for her."

Wha? Is he for real?!

"Wait….I'm sorry you want me to drink what now?"

Lucy 's brain short circuited with an owlish blink at the same time that some revolted noises could be heard from the rest of Team Natsu. More specifically Salamander 's gagging and Erza nearly vomiting in her mouth.

"Well at least Lucy gets it" Gray voiced aloud to no one in particular with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "Now to find a knife and boil some water for the tea."

"Yo, you out of your mind, ice-dick?" Natsu demanded, more than a tad incredulous. "It's pretty obvious she doesn't want what you're selling and can't say I blame her." His eyes narrowed in revulsion with a flash of exposed canines poking through his lips. "That kind of 'tea 'sounds disgusting."

Just for Natsu's striking emerald eyes to immediately soften when landing on Lucy.

"Don't worry Luce," He soothed, his voice lifting to a sympathetic coo. "I'll protect ya' from that big meanie and his stupid ".

" Uh Yeah, please do," Lucy beseeched, words trembling slightly. Honest to God that the astral almost shuddered at the prospect of such a horrendous-tasting tea invading her tastebuds. "I don't even want a sip of that stuff."

"And Why would any sane person expect you to? Not me or Ezra. Can't say the same about droopy eyes here." Natsu tossed a pointed glare at Gray which was readily met with a raised middle finger. "You really that hell bent on brewing whatever nasty crap you call tea, buddy? Then be our guest and drink it yourself. But keep it away from Lucy and out of the kitchen. We don't need that shit stinking up the place."

"Tch— shows what you know" came Gray's disparaging scoff by way of a reply. "Pretty sure you wouldn't know a proper health remedy was if it hit you in the face."

Uh-oh ...

Gray's words really seemed to touch a nerve judging by Natsu's offended growl.

"The hell is that supposed to mean, stripper?" He sniped, vein throbbing in his forehead " What? Are ya really looking' to piss me off or somethin'?"

"Yeah, just maybe I am!" Gray countered with salty heat and matching his rival glare for glare. "You want to cry about it? And you heard what I said. God ... no wonder Lucy's still sick what with your clueless ass and all failing to take care of her.."

"You take that back asshole!" Natsu seethed, foaming rabidly at the mouth. Or rather smoke circumventing from his nose and mouth what with him being a fire dragon demon and "literal hothead "and all.

"Make Me—ow!"

The rest of whatever Gray was trying to say was cut off by a flying "talisman" that just struck him point blank in the face.

"Hey!" He snapped, grudgingly rubbing his temple with a hand." The hell was that for, ya damned fire hazard?!"

"What do ya think, dumbass ?" Natsu flung back without missing a beat. "You got some nerve….insultin 'a dragon's pride like that!"

"Yeah? So what?"

"Seriously?! You pretty much implied I don't know how to take care of my own mate!"

"Yes and?"

Uh-oh...

"And it was a total dick move, dingus! That's what! Where's your sense of common decency!?"

"Wasted on incompetent dipshits like you, apparently!"

"What was that, frosty?!"

"You heard me "

"That's it you, walking freezer burn! Them's fighting words!"

"Oh yeah? Bring it flame-bitch!"

"Take this!"

Oh god ….

The next thing anyone knew were that that the bickering rivals were launchimg projectiles—aka "Talismans" at each other much to her dismay.

No...

"No fighting in our kitchen!" Lucy squeaked; cadence raised to a higher pitch. " You could really break something! So stop!" The afflicted girl couldn't help but watch with alarmed eyes when her desperate pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears. Something always gets completely wrecked or destroyed when these two butt heads over anything!

Seriously, who could forget all the destruction those two left in their wake or millions of jewel racked in subsequent, property damage during their last scuffle? Like say the accidental beheading and subsequent toppling of that statue which also happened in Hargeon's beloved town founder for instance? Not to mention the scorched garden of the mayor's prized purple and white orchids. Not Lucy, that's for sure.

I really don't want them breaking anything….

Erza meanwhile. was practically frothing at the mouth from all that pent-up rage in a very-if-not-entirely-proverbial sense of the word.

"Good God—those two!" The re-equip mage ranted, vein pulsing right above her brow. "Always butting heads over one asinine matter or another! The hell is wrong with them anyways? Either way, enough is enough! I really should... no probably best not... Oh screw it!"

Erza was on the other wizards in a flash, banging their heads together with an audible crack. And good lord who could miss the stunned noises of pain that simultaneously cirumented their throats.

"OW!" Natsu and Gray whimpered in unison. "That really hurt ,Erza!"

"Yeah!?" Erza barked . "Well maybe you two dolts should've thought of that before you started acting juvenile and making a mess! I mean take you for instance, Gray! Disrespecting a dragonslayer's pride was a garbage move just as Natsu pointed out! Haven't both Master and UR taught you more sense than that? Oh, and let's not forget you doubting Natsu 's ability to effectively tend to care for Lucy despite doing more than a standup job so far for the most part! No wonder he's offended!"

"Hey, it's not my fault if the dude can't take a joke," Gray grumbled, defensive resentment leaking into his tone. "Or that he has a ridiculously overinflated and fragile ego."

"Neither helpful or okay, Gray!"

"Yeah, so there dickwad!" Natsu cut in with his tongue shooting out for good measure. "See?"

"Oh yeah... you really..."

"Oh no you don't!" Erza whirled on Natsu who shrank under the heat of her glare with another whimper. "And yes, I'm talking about you Natsu Ignatius Dragneel! Don't think for a minute that you're getting out of this scott- free!""

Oh shit ... Erza just used Natsu's full name…. She must mean business.

"What? Me, really?" Nastu spluttered, hands still raised in defense as if fend the intimating scarlet woman off. "What did I even do anyway?"

"Hmm, what did you do?" Erza questioned, rolling her eyes. Oh, and her words were just laced/ dripping/ trickling/ with just the right amount of pointed sarcasm. "Care to take a wild guess? How about those godawful abominations you call talismans for one? Look at them! Anyone can tell these are a sham! I mean really, Natsu! The hell were you thinking?! Normally, you're much better at sussing out onpossible scams and cons. How could you let yourself be duped out of your hard -earned money like that?"

"Aw- come on!" Natsu bleated "Didn't mean to, honest! All I wanted was to help Luce recover more quickly and honestly thought these things would help. That's all! I won't buy any more—swear to God! Just please don't bust my balls, Erza! I need those!

"Calm down. I'm not going to do that. It's easy to tell your intentions were pure regardless which is most important."

"Really? Thank you, you kind, merciful, woman!"

"Yes, yes,.. that's all fine and good," Erza chuckled in amusement with a light shake of her head as a response .

"Now about those talismans. They are a problem. " Erza's voice fell into a more sober tone with a hand cupping her chin in thought. "Word on the street is that Fiore is being targeted by a fraudulent band of thieves and con artists. Popping up in various towns and cities with those "vendors", posing as legitimate shop keepers and merchants —that sort of thing. and from what I've heard , these people are trying pass off bogus goods as authentic souvenirs."

"So, ya think there's some kind of link between those and what I bought?" Natsu quickly caught on matter-of-factly. "As in all that crappy stuff you mentioned ?"

"Yes, precisely that. I'm sure we can all agree that how poor unassuming customers are being ripped off by those criminals just isn't right. Something must be done."

"Okay—like what?"

"Helping folks of Magnolia getting their money back for one —yours included. And there's also the matter of filing a report with the magic reinforcement unit and other authorities . They'd want to be informed of the culprits' criminal activity ASAP. In fact, why don't the two of us go now?"

"What? Ya' mean that you actually want us to leave right now?!"

Natsu visibly balked at Erza's suggestion as if being ordered to watch Ichyia perform a strip tease in nothing but a pair of - sparkly -Leather, assless chaps.

"I.. don't…"

"Yes, I figured that would be the most efficient course of option" Erza reasoned, lifting a questioning brow at his response. "Why? Is there a problem?"

"Uh yeah..., a big one!" Natsu protested with a vigorous nod. " Going now would mean leaving Luce's side" His whole tone shifted into a whine. "Especially when she's still not feeling 100% or if it means being without her in my arms for too long. And right now, looking after Lucy and being able to spend time with her is what's most important. Not to mention what I want the most! Please… just let me take good care of my mate and queen and hold her! That too much ask?"

"No, and your feelings are understandable. That in mind, it would still be unethical to turn a blind eye to petty crimes at the expense of innocent civilians."

"Yeah, of course. But it's just…."

Sheesh… Natsu's being a bit of a drama king right now. I mean I love the guy and its always great having him around for the most part despite the fact that he sometimes gets on nerves. Completely normal for all couples even ones like us but that's besides the point. Anyways, he's being super sweet and everything but there's no need for him to blow a gasket when they would only be gone for a couple hours at most. Plus Erza's right about putting a stop to those jerks and getting those other people compensated. and it's not like I won't be okay without them or by myself a for little bit...

"Hey guys," Lucy finally spoke up after a few minutes, drawing their focus of everyone's eyes back on her. "Not that your efforts and spending time with me aren't appreciated, but pretty sure I'll be fine on my own for a little while if you want to report those people and get your money back." No real heat to her words though.

"Hmm... don't think that's a good idea, "sweetheart." Came Natsu's reply, his timbre pitched soft; though she didn't miss the pleading note in his words. "You're still not in the best shape right now. Like Mavis knows I don't really feel comfortable leaving you alone to fend for yourself right now, y' know? I mean what if ya' end up barfin' with your head over a toilet bowl or falling again?"

Not really that much of an nasty shock to say the least especially seeing how the couple were practically inseparable ever since that hazardous incident at the party.

"Don't be too surprised if Natsu's refuses to leave your side." Levy's kind voice from a recent lacrima video call echoed inside Lucy's head "or even let out of his sight-or sense range for that matter. You remember learning about how dragon slayers, demon's and hybrids are essentially hardwired to be extremely protective and territorial of their bonded, right? Well those already -fierce instincts are get an even bigger boost during certain times... like say when they're in heat . Not to mention when their soulmates are sick, injured or both in your case. In any case, Natsu's no exception especially with how you're one of the people he's been most protective of even before you two were officially an item node as we all know. Anyways, be prepared for him wanting to remain extra close to you and special attention. Think plenty of affection and physical contact like snuggling, kisses, doting on you —things like that which is always a bonus. And pretty sure he is going to hoard you. I mean the dude going isn't gonna take kindly to anyone he feels is trying to steal/snatch you away from him. Gajeels the same way. It's not so bad though."

Levy was right. Not that I'm complaining...

"We really should get going Natsu," Erza chimed in after a few minutes. The sooner these matters are sorted out the better. Either way, it shouldn't take us too long-a few hours tops."

"Yeah, I know..." Natsu replied , an unmistakable flicker of reluctance in his eyes. "But…I still don't want to leave Lucy right now…." Sage fully connected with honey-brown as a hand was reaching to gently caress Lucy's cheek. And Mavis knows she couldn't help but naturally lean into the warmth of his touch or the content smile forming on her lips.

"Pretty sure I made my reasons clear anyway."

"Yes, but…"

"Hey bro," Gray piped in —not unkindly this time."I can easily hold the fort down and keep Lucy company while you guys are out."

"Wow…Really?"

Natsu instantly seemed to perk up.

"Yeah, I'd be more than happy to. Plus, we can summon one of her spirits and Happy to help for a fun but chill time. That way, you can trust that your girl is in capable hands and won't be bored."

"Good point!" Natsu rhapsodized, bumping his fist with Gray's. "Thanks, bro!"

"Yes, I agree" Ezra concurred, an approving smile crossing her lips. "That's very gracious and cordial of you. Way to be a great friend."

"That's what I'm here for and my pleasure, Natsu."

"Guess you're not so bad after all"

"Course' not. I am pretty awesome, after all."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes... So, what about it, Luce?" Natsu went on to inquire, far more chipper now. " You gonna to be okay with Gray and some of the others taking over for a bit while Erza and me are out ?"

"Yeah Lucy, what he said," Gray followed up with a cordial smile of his own. . "You and me can kick it and chill for a little while. Maybe even break into the candy stash and watch movies with everyone."

"Sure!" Lucy chirped, heart leaping in excitement from the prospect of a low-key but fun kickback with splendid company. "And Natsu and Erza can, join when they get back from their errands, right?"

"Yup! Now here," Natsu instructed, pushing a glass of water on the table towards her." "Drink some more of your water. Anyways, Erza and I can bring back some goodies from the local bakery after too,. You good with that ,Erza?" He tossed a hopeful glance the armour- clad wizard's way.

"Sure—sounds good to me!" Erza jumped on board, eyes lighting up with delight. A trip to the bakery would be most excellent. All those delicious confections, yummy treats like gourmet cupcakes and strawberry shortcake. Ooooooh." The scarlet woman's hands clapped together in giddy enthusiasm.. "I can practically taste it now —so divine!"

"Yeah but think about lava- brains though" Gray quipped without missing a beat. "What are the odds he'll devour whatever he doesn't give or share with Lucy?"

"Ohhhh valid point" Erza echoed, lips pulling up into / a smirk. I wouldn't put it past him to cleanin out half of the bakery's front counter. Now why don't we get a friendly little wager started? Is 20 jewel acceptable?"

"Sure. I'm game."

"Ooh... why not make it ...30?" Lucy joined in with a light giggle. "I mean what's to say he won't clean out most of the shops and the other desert shops in town?"

"Hey! Not cool!" Natsu objected, though such sour words were belied by the glimmer of mirth in his shamrock eyes. "Makin' bets about whether or not I'll stockpile deserts and shit! I mean talk about takin' cheap shots at your leader! I am Salamander of Fairytail, damn it! Alpha drake of the dragon nest, and a Mighty and fierce dragonslayer -demon hybrid! I deserve your respect and praise!"

"Oh?" Erza spurred him on, clearly entertained by the salamander's theatrics. " Is that a fact?"

"Damn right it is!"

"And you, Luce!" Natsu bemoaned with extra melodramatic flair. "Even my own precious soulmate is betting against me and egging' the other two on?" Impossible not to notice how Natsu's hand clapped over the heart in a display of feigned offence. "How you' wound me, woman!"

"Opps," Lucy uttered, a teasing lilt to her words. "My bad. Are they really that wrong though?"

"Ooh, you got me there!" Natsu jibed s, lips breaking into a cheek into a cheeky grin agrin that set Lucy 's heart all pit-patter. "Touché and shit."

"Just as I suspected."

"Yeah, I figured!" Natsu laughed, mussing her hair with one hand. "Anyway, how about Erza and me pick up some dumplings on the way home? Maybe a Party pack with plenty for everyone to share? We can get some other things for dinner too— Our treat!"

"Ooh yes please!" Lucy crowed, mouth practically watering from the zesty-flavored-packed dumplings from one of many Magnolia's local fusion joints. "Can some be fried? And be filled with beef? Maybe tandoori chicken and cheese too? And could I have 3 or 4?"

"Yeah, sure." Natsu agreed, goodnaturedly as always. "Whatever you want. You really must be cravin that stuff today, huh?" And God she couldn't help how her heart stuttered at the way her grin morphed into a another kind of smile entirely; More subtle, tremendously fond, even. "Normally I'm the one askin' for all this different kind of food. Good to know that you have great taste and that I'm rubbing off on you more and more each day though."

" Uh, yeah… thanks. Though you don't think it's a bit much?" Lucy questioned, now glancing up at her boyfriend with a smidge of tentativeness. She couldn't help but second-guess her request especially seeing how it was partially driven by voracious craving for carbs. "Cuz I'm wondering if that many dumplings is a tad too many now."

Maybe something healthier would be better...

"What? Are you kidding?" Natsu refuted, bursting into stunned laughter . "Of course it isn't. Why would it be?"

"Well, when you put it that way" Lucy resounded in agreement, the corner of her lips twitching into a sheepish grin over how silly I'm being. "Guess I was overthinking it just a little."

"See?" The dragonslayer pointed out, punctuated by a light tap on the tip of the blonde's nose with his finger. "Now you're getting it! And hey, look at it this way! Whatever my princess and queen wants, she gets."

"Well, who am I argue to with that? Anyways, you guys heading out now?"

"Yeah," Natsu sighed, a touch of reluctance seeping back into his gravelly timbre. "Guess we oughtaa . Really don't like the idea of leaving your side though there are some things to take care of. And besides the sooner we leave, the sooner I can get back to you."

How the summoner's heart gave a little thump at those touching words that reached her ears!

"What you're saying is definitely true" Lucy breathed, finding herself adrift in those arresting eyes of his. Onyx with flecks of jade that always seemed to shine in just the right angle of sunlight on bright days. And did she mention the sensation of Natsu's fingertips brushing her cheek, the tucking a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear? How it all sent sparks racing through her nerves! "And I can't wait for you to get home so that I can be in your arms again too."

"Mhmm yeah" Natsu hummed in agreement., stroking along the side of her temple now. "I'm definitely looking forward to all that too. Also cuddling with ya' on the couch of course. Should be great! Anyway, make sure to take it easy and stay hydrated, okay? And don't forget Erza and I are one just one call away if you need anything."

"Okay, Thanks Natsu."

"Anytime," he rumbled with that same affectionate smile that always melted her heart . "See you soon, Luce." Lips pressed a light kiss atop the celestial mage's crown with a hand palming the side of her head. God such a rush cozy seeping through her bones and warming her soul to the core.

I truly love him and that'll never change..

"Yeah, likewise.. Hurry back, okay?."

" You know I will."

"That I do".

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Fic Tag Squad: @thenaluarchive @fuck-yeah-nalu @kuroshironekoserver @nalubookclub

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@cobblepottantrum @lovelyluce@dark0angel13 @sovay-says

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A/N: All right that's Chapter: 5 ,folks! Apologies for the delay again! As stated previously, both my beta and I have been busy for different reasons related to differing schedules, life circumstances, responsibilities, appointments, hobbies and a somewhat more active social life among other things (with increasing vaccination rates unless everything goes south again). Not that this has necessarily prevented me from writing or working on my wips but there's also been days where I haven't been feeling well, a case of writers block or there simply just not being enough hours in a day to accomplish everything I want for whichever reason lol. In any case, this chapter is posted now and I'm trying to get back into working on writing projects more often. So that's that at least.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Once again, please don't hesitate to drop a comment/review and share. Check out the rest of my writing and stay tuned for new projects along with updates to my other WIPS too! ((Corresponding links are above in this post, bio and navigation bar if reading this on tumblr. Also in my FF and A03 profiles.) All right. that's all I have to say for now. Thanks to all my friends, mutals, followers and readings for their ongoing show of support over the years. You all rock! Take care until next time! Bye!

[savagetrickster]

Crushing on You (HCs) | BNHA

Request: First of All, i love your navigation its really unique :) Then mhhh what i wanted to request are just some headcanons about shoto (and other characters u like) in which they get really soft zu their crush or s/o, just some fluffy things that come to your mind when u think about it uwu !and dont stress yourself with anseering this request, take ur time! 

anime  |  character(s):   bnha |  todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki

word count: 1.9k+

a/n: thank you anon, it took me a really long time to make my current navigation; glad you liked it! sorry for the delay, i’ve been trying to squeeze in writing time between my work schedules and finally managed to complete this as well. Whew! i expanded a little more on your requests while trying not to go off-track hahah! also, i really want to add more characters but time could allow me to write for these two. hope you like my take on how they would behave regarding their crushes! i kinda rushed through this piece so the sentences may not string well together hahah and there may be some errors; it’s not beta-ed.

How did he find out about his crush on you?

Shouto is as smart as a pile of bricks when it comes to anything that isn’t…well, hero stuff? So when he harbored special feelings for you at the start, he wasn’t aware of that. Completely oblivious and hilariously dense about it.

The first few times his heart raced and his cheeks grew warm in your presence, he didn’t make the connection between these and you. He went to see the doctor thinking there was something wrong with his heart and was the reason why his face would feel warm. Nights before his appointment at the hospital, he couldn’t sleep.

It turned out that everything was fine; his heart is perfectly healthy. So the next thing he thought, making a connection to you - is he allergic to you? Or did you have some sort of secondary quirk you kept secret?

Often, he found his eyes gravitating to you, like you were some kind of magnet. You were the first thought he wakes up to and the last before he went to sleep. There were times he felt oddly possessive of you when you talked with the guys.

Despite all these, none of these made him realize his feelings for you. He passed them off as curiosity since you were the only one who made him feel strange.

He only found out why when he shared his suspicion about you  - is he allergic to you? Or did you have some sort of secondary quirk you kept secret? - with Midoriya, particularly the latter. 

How does Shouto behave around you after his realization? All the years growing up the way he did, having a crush on someone was foreign and bizarre to him. Knowing only quirk-related and hero whatnots with limited social interactions in his maturation years, he was…afraid. Afraid of his own feelings for you. He has no idea what to do and couldn’t face you without accidentally coming off as ‘curt and cold’ to you. He avoided you like you were the plague; he couldn’t help it - he felt like he could combust into flames (lol) from how much you made him blush.

You had always enjoyed Shouto’s company and admired his talents as a hero, sharing an amicable connection with him despite not being in his circle with Midoriya and the rest. You liked him. Liked him too much. 

So when he was suddenly blunt and cold to you + very obviously avoiding you, your heart broke. 

The day you confronted him out of frustration and with a broken heart, he realized how wrong he was to act like this.

>> a short fic based on the paragraphs above is coming soon!

He didn’t want to hurt you because of his own fears. He apologized to you but decided to keep his feelings for you a secret from you - the last thing you two needed a distraction like this when you should be focusing on forging your paths as heroes.

As he promised, he suppressed his feelings and maintained (struggled to) the way he was with you; simply friends.

But he definitely has a soft spot for you. 

He has developed an overprotective streak for you; his eyes were always on you. 

   he’s always the first to react if you were in danger. And if there were any stimulation exercises with the class, he would be adamant about staying near you, asking whoever who is on your team to switch with him (of course, without you knowing)

He is very attentive about what you liked or disliked. Taking notes in his head like it was his duty. 

   there was a time when he overheard a discussion between the girls and you, gushing about the types of clothes you girls like to see on a guy. Taking interest in what you like, he eavesdropped and heard you like pullovers on guys. And on the very next day, he bought himself a few, of course using his Endeavor’s credit card, and wore them as soon as they were ready to worn.

He takes very good care of you and is always concern. Too concerned for a mere friend. He is always there to catch you in case you fall.

menstrual cramps?    one day, he walked into the lounge of Class 1-A dormitory and found you clutching onto your stomach, obviously in discomfort and pain despite already taken a pain killer for your cramps. You desperately needed a heat pad to help ease the shit your uterus had to put you through every month.

at first he had thought about using his fire quirk to help you but quickly scratch that idea because he knew he didn’t have that kind of control to not hurt you by accident. The only solution is to get you a water bottle of warm water which loses its temperature pretty quickly. from then, he made it his goal to obtain superb control over his fire quirk, even to the extent of asking Endeavor for help in refining his control just for you. So that the next month when you had to go through the same pain, he was ready to use his fire quirk to relieve your discomfort.

fever?    shouto caught onto news that you caught a bad cold and were down with a high fever. You laid in the darkness of your room, feeling feverish and your body was burning up. that day, he spent the whole night in your room, tending to you the best he could. Pressed his hand to your burning forehead, ice quirk activated; cool enough to make you sigh but not too cold to freeze you by accident - having only used his ice side growing up, his control is excellent. somehow he ended up holding you, cuddling your feverish head to his body on your bed, regularly activating his ice side to keep his body cool. 

When he thinks about his future after graduation, he always include you. In fact, you are part of a much, much bigger picture in the future he envisioned.

it is in his plan to confess to you after graduation. he already knew enough about you, having paid attention and staying near you throughout after he found out that you were special to him. over time, his crush on you wasn’t as simple anymore. Something stronger and more permanent was beginning to bloom in his heart as he continued to safeguard you and watch over you like a silent guardian.

Get ready to adopt he name ‘Todoroki’ in the future ‘cause he’s pretty determined to take things further with you. First, his girlfriend and of course his wife and the mother of his children. 

How did he find out about his crush on you?

I would like start Bakugou’s part right off the bat by saying that the expression you see in the heading^ made for him is exactly how he would react once he realized he has a crush on you. 

Bakugou here looks like he is in disbelief (as if having such feelings was absurd), bewildered and irked.  Yes, damn right he will be irked. He finds harboring such feelings for you or in fact, anyone unnecessary, ridiculous and stupid. He didn’t have time for such a thing.

Bakugou isn’t as dense as Shouto about this sort of things; if he did find his heart pounding around you, he’s sharp enough to know that you had an effect on him and suspect that he has feelings for you, but this doesn’t mean he is going to acknowledge it. He would dismiss it quickly and move on to more important stuff like his goals.  One day, he grew really jealous and extremely irritated when he saw two seniors hitting on you while he was on his way to class after lunch with Kirishima and Denki. Surprisingly, he handled the situation pretty calmly despite how irritated he is. He walked forward, speeding up ahead of Kirishima and Denki and smoothly tugged you away from the persistent upperclassmen with a firm but gentle grip around your bicep. 

From that incident,  Kirishima and (sorry Kirishima is probably pretty dense about this sort of things but of course no one could beat Shouto in this area lol)  Denki being a rather perceptive guy when it came to matters of the heart, was quick to pick up on Bakugou’s crush on you. Bakugou kind of grudgingly acknowledge his feelings for you that day. Was it because his friends being pushy, constantly teasing him about it? Or was it witnessing that upsetting scene you were in? 

Maybe both? But that did not mean he was going to act on it. He is still pretty stubborn about remaining unbothered about this “useless, pointless sentiment”, quoted Bakugou pretty often to his friends. How does Bakugou behave around you? Bakugou Katsuki is a freaking kuudere - i.e.  a character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical. They may seem very emotionless on the outside, but on the inside they’re very caring — at least when it comes to the ones they love.  Though he deems his feelings for you a “useless, pointless sentiment”, it has become a second nature to him to worry about you regardless of how adamant he is about “not giving a fuck about you” as he had gruffly said to shut his friends up. 

He becomes subtlysoft!Bakugou around you. 

  he is rather toned-down and mature when it comes to you. his explosive (haha) temperament is milder and he exhibits bits of gentlemen traits around you.

  his brash, rough voice softens when he talks to you without him realizing. He is more patient and calmer around you than the rest of his classmates or even his closest friends like Kirishima. he rarely yells at you and addresses you by your name, and not insults he typically used on others e.g. extras, nerd, idiot. 

He is protective.

  he is always quick on his feet in getting you out of sticky situations most of the time. tied to being subtlysoft!Bakugou in my previous point (duh), he demonstrated his ability to be cool-headed and efficient when he got you out of the situation with the two upperclassmen. 

  sometimes if he could in stimulation exercises, he would be try to get you to come along whenever he went on his own way with Kirishima and Denki.

“stay close.” he would mutter in a grudging gruff tone as he bashfully tug you along, away from the rest of the class as we all know he always do in the canon.

He is rather thoughtful and considerate when it’s you.

  once you didn’t turn up for school and he kept glancing over at your empty desk, concerned. he found out that you were down with a bad cold and was being taken care of by Recovery Girl in the infantry. Exams were just two weeks away so he secretly took down notes for you.

When you recovered, he made fun of Kirishima’s “shitty grades” and somehow managed to get Kirishima to start a study session with you included; his main motive was so he could help you catch up without you learning about his true intentions. (kuudere much, Bakugou  -__-)

you are a priority, and eventually a goal as well.

  as bakugou matures alongside you and Class 1A through the years, he will gradually accept that life isn’t only about hero stuff, being number one or putting that stupid nerd Izuku in his fucking place.  (i love midoriya okay, this is just bakugou being bakugou hahah) Or at least he didn’t want his life to be merely about all that. You were also his goal, in fact, one of his biggest goals. He isn’t exactly a big fan of screeching little spawns of the devils but he could live with it if they were part of a future with you.

[seriouslyhooked]

The Best Bad Idea

Three-part CS AU where Emma and Killian are doctors working at the same hospital (world without pandemic). They’ve yet to meet, but Emma has definitely seen the sexy Dr. Jones in her travels at Mist Haven Medical. It’s generally a bad idea to get involved with a colleague, but a little fantasizing never hurt… right? Inspired by the song ‘Bad Idea’ by Ariana Grande and a TV couple who set the bar for true love stories. 

Available on FF Here and AO3 Here. 

A/N: Hey all! Here is a little something I made instead of being a responsible writer and finishing my other projects. I’ll be back to my other WIPs soon (God willing), but in the meantime here’s my 1000th attempt at writing a Captain Swan meet cute. I needed to get some words on the page, and this is the result. Hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, Thump. Steady, sure, and even. A solid pulsing sound with no inconsistencies and no delays or false starts.

In this particular patient, that fourth set of beats was the most important. Prior to his recent operation, Earl MacDonald’s heart had been weak and skipping needed pulses, then constricting far too harshly on every fourth measure. That type of arrhythmia had potentially disastrous consequences, but those worrying beats were seemingly behind them. The rhythm Emma heard through the stethoscope was a regularly circulating drumline, the tell-tale song of a heart that was working, and working well. Her surgical intervention had been successful.

She gently released the breath she was holding, a sign of the stress that she carried while waiting for patients to recuperate. Emma never let the patients see her sweat, but she had been worried on multiple levels in this case. Earl was going on 80, and not a logical contender for intensive cardiac mediation, but Emma’s gut had told her he could handle it, and she was rarely ever wrong. Earl forged through the surgery like a much younger man, and his outputs post-operation had all been extremely encouraging. It was shaping up to be another win, another life saved thanks to the power of medicine, and that filled Emma with real joy. She always did her absolute best to create good outcomes, and this time there was so much more on the line than one life. This was a man who was loved and cherished by the people closest to him, and who would be sorely missed if something were to happen.

“Anything you want me to note for the chart, Doctor Swan?” 

Emma bit back a witty retort at the pointed use of the word ‘Doctor.’ She was one of the few surgeons in this hospital who didn’t care what people called her, as long as they called on her early enough to actually save the patient’s life. But with Belle, a person Emma considered a dear and true friend, there was an added lilt of sass when using her title. Her friend was one of the nurse practitioners that Emma had been working with for years, since the day she landed here as a medical intern, but despite their differences in degrees, Belle was easily the most well-read and brilliant resource when it came to medical literature in this hospital.

“Just that Mr. MacDonald is healing nicely.”

“Did you hear that Lorraine?” Earl asked, with a Cheshire cat smile on his face, and the glint of true pride in his eyes. “Doctor Emma says I’m healing nicely.”

“Hard not to hear, seeing as I’m right beside you,” Loraine quipped, but she squeezed his hand affectionately, and offered a warm smile to her husband all the same.

“You know, usually being dubbed ‘nice’ is the kiss of death for a man.”

“Earl!” Loraine chastised, clearly not liking his word choice. Earl smiled wider, looking almost boyish in his delight.

“Well, so to speak. But I was going to say that I think we can make an exception this time. I’ve never been so happy to be referred to as ‘nice’ in my life.”

“Technically Doctor Swan was referring to your vital signs, Earl,” Belle taunted from across the room, holding back a smile Emma knew she was bound to let loose soon enough.

“Aw come on, you both know I am your favorite patient. I mean I’m not exactly pressed for competition. Have you seen the people on this floor? Good grief.”

“Ignore him, ladies. He’s all talk. He hasn’t left this room since we got here,” Loraine said, rolling her eyes, as if these antics were a constant occurrence. Based on her small window of experience with Earl, Emma would believe it. “Every meal, every visit, every moment has been within these four walls. Even his PT has been in here.”

“His PT has been here?” Emma asked, surprised that Mary Margaret, their head Occupational Therapist, had allowed for that. She was normally a by-the-book professional, and Emma never knew her friend to provide rehab consults outside of her studio.

“Yup. I told Miss Mary Margaret that I had a wife to keep an eye on and she relented.”

“No, actually what you said was, ‘Excuse me, Ms. Blanchard? You probably heard I just had heart surgery. Well, the thing is, my heart is sitting in this room. I’d like to be with her. Doesn’t seem right to be separated so soon, given what we’ve been through.’ Then you pointed at me, and used your puppy dog eyes on her. Next thing I knew, she had lugged enough equipment to fill the room here. No questions, just action.”

“I bet she ate that right up,” Belle said with a wink. “Mary Margaret loves nothing more than love itself.”

Belle and Mrs. MacDonald discussed Mary Margaret’s love of love, and Earl’s improved mobility, for a few more minutes while Emma continued checking his stats, but ultimately Earl’s patience was wearing thin. He really only had one thing on his mind, and he was now determined to ask about it. Emma was honestly shocked that he managed to wait this long. She knew it was only a matter of time and she was ready for the showdown.

“So, what do you think, Doc? Am I making it home in time for the party?”

“The one for your grandson on Sunday?” she asked, noting the three-day window between now and then. She had heard about this party non-stop, since the moment Earl woke up from the procedure. It was a central fixation for the old man, a celebration that would host his entire family, and a goal he had been carrying for over a week. Earl nodded and Emma hesitated for a few seconds, before smiling and giving the good news away. “Yes, I am confident that Jayden’s ‘Pop Pops’ will be in attendance when he turns four. But you know the rules…”

“I know, I know: no good food, no strenuous exercise, no having fun.”

“Earl.” Just the utterance of the old man’s name from his wife was enough to have him looking like a kid with his hand caught in the candy jar. Emma and Belle both chuckled at that child-like expression. It was hard not to; the old married couple was just too sweet.

“I’m sorry. I know this is serious, but what is life if you can’t have a little fun?”

“Fun comes in all shapes and sizes, Mr. MacDonald, and despite what you may think about your prescribed lifestyle changes, you’re forgetting two things. First, most of these less-alluring prescriptions will be temporary, and second, you’re a man who clearly loves a challenge.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you know that, Doc?” 

“Well for one thing, you somehow landed a lady as remarkable as Loraine. There’s no way she came easy with these corny jokes of yours. You must have worked harder than you ever worked in your life to persuade her to give you a chance.”

The laughter from the older couple was boisterous and heartwarming, and Emma knew she was right on the money. At this point, she had the ability to sniff out true affection, and these two had it in spades. Many couples she saw facing emergency room disasters together didn’t have the same good luck.

“You got that right, Doc. You know the first time we met was at the -,”

Earl’s story was unceremoniously interrupted by the crackling of the PA system specific to this room. It buzzed for a few moments before a message was delivered in a saccharine sweet voice that sounded nothing like the announcer’s normal tone.

“Paging Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station. Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station, code 741.”

Emma waited for the feed to cut off and began to tell Earl to please go on with the story, but the call came out again.

“Paging Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station. Doctor Swan, code 741.”

“You know she’s just going to keep doing that until she gets her way,” Belle murmured. Emma nodded. It was no use. What Ruby Lucas wanted, Ruby Lucas got. That just seemed to be the way of the world.

“Belle, would you mind telling Ruby I’m with a patient at the moment? I will be there when I can. She can always proceed without me.”

Belle snorted out a laugh, knowing that last part would never happen, but gave a swift affirmation that she would relay the message before waving goodbye to the MacDonald’s and promising to see them soon. As her friend headed out, Emma sighed, knowing there was no way Ruby was going to give things up that easily. She had a matter of moments before some new tactic would be deployed.

“I’m sorry about that. You were saying?”

“Eh it’s kind of a long story, and you’ve got places to be, Doc. Just know, true love won out in the end with me and my Loraine. It always does.”

Emma couldn’t deny that their love appeared true even after their fifty plus years together. She personally had never experienced a love like that, but she was wondering more and more if maybe it was out there, somewhere in the later chapters of her story. For years she thought herself above that kind of need. She found validation in herself and in her work. She dedicated herself to helping others, and that had always been enough. But the loneliness that became a constant when she was growing up in foster care still lingered, and she wondered if someone might ever come along who could inspire her to take a chance and risk her heart.

“You know, I actually worked as a nurse before my kids were born,” Loraine commented easily. Emma nodded and smiled as she checked the last of Mr. MacDonald’s IV drips. Emma was aware of the older woman’s solid medical understanding. Loraine had continued to demonstrate it the entire time her husband was admitted in this ward. “I’m trying to remember if I ever ran into a code 741.”

“Oh, uh, I think – well, erm, I mean you probably didn’t,” Emma said, hoping she didn’t turn beet red at the passing comment from the older woman. She was already stuttering, which was completely out of character and eighty shades of embarrassing. Loraine’s words feigned ignorance, but her eyes told a different story. Still Emma tried to play it off. “It’s really not a big deal. Just a non-emergent protocol.”

Another alert sounded, but this time it came through the ceiling unit reserved for announcements to the wider reaches of the hospital. “Attention to all surgical ward personnel. We are paging Doctor Swan to the nurse’s station. Doctor Swan, you are needed at the nurse’s station immediately for a code 741.” The talking stopped, but the air crackled signaling that the line was still live. “Immediately.”

“Sounds pretty urgent to me,” Loraine replied. The curiosity in her gaze told Emma that the older woman was onto them, but it was Earl’s comment that cut too close for comfort.

“When I was in the war, all of our numeric codes corresponded to letters. So 7 was H, 4 was D, 1 was A. H – D – A. HDA, now what could that be….?” Uh oh. Now Emma really had to get out of here before she accidentally admitted Ruby’s code’s meaning – Hot Doctor Alert. That would be the cherry on top of a full-blown mortification sundae.

“All righty, well like I told Belle, all your scans look good. Doctor Whale is on shift this evening during the next series of rounds, so I’ll make sure your file is ready for him.”

“Of course, dear, and good luck with your doctor, er – I mean – code.”

Emma stammered out something like an ‘okay thanks,’ while leaving. She tried to get her bearings once she was out of sight of the room, but she had nowhere to go. Everyone on this floor had just heard her page, and there were bound to be at least a few who understood the meaning. She was so embarrassed, and more than a little ticked at Ruby. She was supposed to be her best friend, but she was always pulling these crazy stunts. They were mostly harmless, but for Emma, who hated being the subject of hospital gossip, it was anxiety inducing to say the least.

“Please tell me that you did not just broadcast that to the entire hospital,” Emma said, arriving at the nurse’s station with a sense of urgency, and watching some of the other nurses scurry off to avoid the confrontation. Ruby, however, was unfazed. Actually, the nurse manager just rolled her eyes, grabbing her bag and phone from her cubby, as if Emma was the one who was annoying and not the other way around.

“And here I was thinking we were the best of friends. Soul sisters, kindred spirits, friends for life. But no, ye of little faith, you actually believe I would broadcast the hot doc alert to all of Mist Haven? What kind of friend would do that?”

“But if you didn’t… then how did you…?” Emma’s questions trailed off, but her arms flailed towards the ceiling and the look on her face spoke for itself – how had Ruby used the hospital wide PA system without actually broadcasting to the entire hospital?

“You know Tink up in nuero?” Emma nodded, well acquainted with the nurse manager who had Ruby’s job on the fifth floor but with a specialization of the brain and nervous system. She was a tiny woman, but she ruled that ward with more than capable hands. “She and I bribed the IT guys to make the nurse managers an override. Now we can circumvent the PA software whenever we want. Bring some of you more stubborn Doctors to heal when it comes to answering our pages.”

“That’s… well, actually that’s genius,” Emma admitted.

“I like to think so,” Ruby teased, offering a genuine smile. The two friends laughed at all of this, and Emma felt so much better knowing that their secret was still relatively secure. The last thing she wanted was everyone knowing how she was spending her lunch breaks these days.  

“Gus, you’re holding down the fort while I’m gone, right?” Ruby asked, her smile turning slightly wicked with the purposeful jest aimed at the new nursing aid sitting behind the desk.

“Me?” The new hire replied, suddenly white as a sheet. Emma had never seen the man so stricken, and as a new nurse he had plenty of high-stress moments to look alarmed during. “I – uh – well – I -,”

“It’s called comedic relief, Gus. Commonly referred to as joking. Do me a favor, learn about it by the end of shift, kay?” Ruby pivoted to the person she actually trusted to man the fort. “Thirty minutes work for you, Belle?”

“I’ve got it handled.”

“Excellent. We’ll return with a full report,” Ruby said, grabbing Emma’s arm and moving them down the hallway before Emma could even say goodbye. “Newbies – can’t live with them, can’t pawn off scut work without them.”

“You are terrible. And yet… the look on his face just now…? Priceless,” Emma acquiesced. “But seriously, Ruby, can we PLEASE find another way to page me for this? My patients are not stupid, and the code isn’t exactly original. It’s kind of…” Ruby’s grin was so big that it stopped Emma in her tracks. She was currently trying to hold her friend to account, but Ruby looked like she’d won the lottery. “What?”

“You are so totally into him! I mean listen to you right now.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Emma said, feeling her cheeks flush against her will. 

“Exactly,” Ruby said. “You’re telling me to be more discreet when I send the bat signal, but you still want me to send it. Do you realize how unlike you that is?”

“Despite what you may think, Ruby. I’m a doctor, I’m not dead. I can appreciate a hot guy now and again.”

“Doubtful. Remember last month when all those pro hockey players were here after Ocheski collapsed on the ice? You had a room full of crazy sexy men. Like virile, hot, muscled men who get paid big money to beat each other up on the ice. Most women would die for that chance, and to make it even better, most of them were hitting on you. And what did you do? Nothing. You didn’t even blink.”

“They were not hitting on me,” Emma affirmed, but the words were hollow. They had been trying to flirt with her. A few had even attempted to get her number.

“They were hitting on you,” Ruby said adamantly.  

“He was a patient, and the rest of them were essentially his family. You know I’d never cross that line. Doesn’t count.”

“Fine, then what about Dr. King? When he came for that conjoined twins case last year, you had no interest. Zero. Zilch.”

“King was an asshole, you know that,” Emma said, belatedly catching her use of profanity and checking that no patients were around. Luckily the coast was clear.

“So? You didn’t have to marry the guy. Hot is hot, honey. That’s just how things are.” 

Emma barked out a laugh at even the thought of marrying someone like that. Arthur King was just about the worst person she could fathom to spend a life with. He was narcissistic and carrying around one of the biggest god-complexes she’d ever seen, and she was a surgeon, so she was an expert on god-complexes. 

“Your face really says it all, Emma. I mean honestly, poker would be a terrible game for you to take up. Your contempt for King is obvious, but, meanwhile, as soon as I mention Doctor Jones… aha! See, totally shifted.”

Emma didn’t know what to say to that. She could try and protest, but her friend knew her too well for that. The best thing to do was say nothing, and she was saved by their arrival at their destination. The coffee cart in the center of the action, near the entrance of Mist Haven. Here was where the wards crossed paths. Her surgical wing met up with the specialties departments, the ER, the community clinic, and more. It was also swarmed with both hospital workers and visitors. Typically, this was the last place she wanted to be, but recently it had become a highlight of her day.

“Emma? Ruby? What’s brought you out here?” a voice asked. It was Mary Margaret, and given her street clothes and jacket, Emma would guess she was just starting her shift.

“Haven’t you heard? There’s fresh meat from the ER. Two showings a day, but we favor the afternoon delight.”

“Oh right,” Mary Margaret said, nodding, like Ruby’s words were totally normal, and for Ruby they were. “I heard about the new ER Chief. Doctor Nolan? I meant to get down there and bring him something to welcome him, but I’ve been so swamped this week. My caseload is crazy at the moment. I hope he won’t think too badly of me for being a bit late.”

“Mary Margaret, literally no one in a hospital brings people cupcakes as a welcome gift, especially not new guys in other departments.” Ruby was not wrong. Hospitals were hardly the most happy-go-lucky of places. At least not usually. “Believe me, the man will be grateful whenever they come. If he even eats them. He’s fit – like fit, fit. Keto diet and a personal trainer fit. The kind of fit that makes you -,”

“Careful, Ruby,” Emma teased. “What if Graham heard you saying that?”

“God, I wish. You know how worked up he gets, and how he works out his frustrations.” Ruby’s tone was dripping in suggestion. “It’s one of the many reasons I live to drive him crazy.”

Emma and Mary Margaret laughed at Ruby’s apt assessment of her relationship with her boyfriend. Ruby had been dating the fireman for almost a year now, since he came in on one of the ambulance bays with a victim he’d rescued from a fire, but Ruby was hardly the predictable type, and Graham seemed to love that about her. They were still going strong despite her willful, wild child nature, and Emma suspected they may be built to last.

“Doctor Nolan must really be something to get you out here, Emma,” Mary Margaret said, moving forward in the line, inching ever closer to the mediocre coffee the cart promised.  

“Ha! Hardly. Emma’s not here for Nolan. She’s here for Jones.”

“Jones?” Mary Margaret asked.

“Girl, where have you been? Doctor Killian Jones, trauma surgeon extraordinaire. Chief Mills brought him here for a ‘collaboration’ with the ER, but she’s totally trying to recruit him for head of his own department. Turns out he and David Nolan are old friends. Same medical school maybe? I don’t know, no one’s gotten me those details yet. Anyway, Regina hardly leaves him alone. She only misses this little window because she’s hooking up with Doctor Locksley in the supply room on the 2nd floor.”

“She’s WHAT?!” Emma and Mary Margaret yelled at the same time and Ruby looked aghast for the first time today. Some other hospital staff in the area glanced over, but no one paid much mind beyond a head nod. Everyone was absorbed in their own need for caffeine, and no one was the wiser of the bombshell Ruby had just dropped.

“Oh shoot, I wasn’t supposed to say that. I promised Ella, damn it!”

“Ella, her assistant? I thought she quit,” Mary Margaret stage whispered.

“Oh she did. Made it a whole two months, which, you know, makes sense given the fact that Regina is a nightmare. But the last week she was here, she learned a crucial secret regarding her Majesty. She spilled last week at The White Rabbit, but I promised her I wouldn’t tell until she’s settled at her new job at GMH. So you did not hear this from me, and I did not hear this from her, capische?”

“I can’t believe the Evil Queen is dating someone,” Mary Margaret said, deeply disturbed by the idea. She shuddered at the thought, and this was someone who loved love. But love and Regina Mills didn’t really feel like concepts that belonged in the same sentence. Scratch that, they didn’t really even belong in the same book. “She’s just so…”

“Evil?” Emma responded. The nickname worked for a reason, after all. The hospital Chief was downright tyrannical.

“Exactly.”

“Well dating is a stretch. She’s screwing someone. But then again, who knows. Ella said she actually saw her smiling in those final days. And not that evil one she’s famous for. Like a real, genuine, I have a heart, smile.”

“No way,” Emma said at the same time Mary Margaret murmured, “Well would you look at that.”

“Don’t worry. I’m on the case. The temp is a totally easy mark – Sydney something. I’m buying him lunch tomorrow. I’ll have the whole story before you know it.”

“Won’t Graham be proud,” Emma chuckled, but her joke fell on deaf ears as something caught Ruby’s attention across the way. Her friend’s countenance changed immediately, putting Emma on alert.

“Ooh, they’re coming! Act normal.”

Normally, Emma would have laughed at that command, but she was too busy feeling the spike of adrenaline at the impending arrival of one Doctor Killian Jones. He really was a world-renowned trauma surgeon, who was working on a number of cutting-edge techniques that saved lives and gave critical care patients better chances to recover. She had actually heard of him a few years ago when reading about a new procedure to treat arrhythmia in patients with traumatic injury. He engineered it in the field, while serving in the British naval forces, and his paper had been circulating in cardiac wings around the country, but she never saw the man before last week when he arrived in Boston.  Suffice it to say she could not have imagined that this marvel of modern medicine would also be so roguishly handsome.

Spotting him today across the great hall, Emma was struck again by just how attractive this man was. She couldn’t even comprehend it really. All she knew was that she had yet to find a fault in him. Every day she’d stolen secret glances, and every time he proved better than her memory. It was crazy, and very reminiscent of schoolgirl crushes and teenage day dreams, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. It was intoxicating, and despite her best efforts, she was powerless to turn Ruby’s invites to the show down when she could witness this each and every day.

The first thing that she’d noticed about him was his general presence. His posture was strong and straight and assured. He looked ready for anything, but somehow laid back, like he was totally in control. People naturally parted when he walked by, as if he silently willed the flow of the hospital traffic. Ruby called it swagger. Emma called it… well something not quite safe for work. Couple that general aura of authority with the classically gorgeous features of his face, and Emma was lost. On that first day (and okay, maybe on the others as well), she actually felt her knees get weak. She always thought that was a bogus cliché, but nope, it was real, and she was the proof of it. From there she was hooked, and over time she’d chronicled more and more things to like about him.

Yesterday it had been his hair. As she watched him across the atrium, she noticed that the shade shone bright in the sun, but that it was nearer to midnight than any color brown. It was slightly longer than most of the other male doctors wore theirs, but not so long that it looked unkempt or unprofessional, at least not yet. She knew for a fact that the military never would allow for such a style, and it felt like a bit of rebellion, or maybe a lack of care for what others thought. Both sent a delicious thrill through Emma, even though she had no real confirmation one way or another. Maybe he was just lazy, but that wasn’t how she imagined him…

And oh boy did she imagine him. At first she hadn’t meant to. She just had these flashbacks to seeing him that she carried through the day. These visceral visions always started the same: he would walk by, looking downright delicious and impossible to resist, then he would turn his eyes her way here in the middle of the hospital hustle and bustle. She’d feel caught in his stare, sense the hunger even from the distance, and her heart would quicken to a maddening crescendo as he walked her way. The rest of the world would fade from view, and it would feel like they were the only two people alive. Her gaze would stay transfixed on his almost cocky composure and the hard line of his bearded jaw. The attraction in his blue eyes would light a fire in her, and then, without so much as a word like ‘hello’ or ‘nice to meet you,’ he’d pull her into his embrace and kiss her senseless. She could practically taste him on her tongue, and yet she’d never even heard him speak. People who had, who were later interrogated by Ruby, mentioned that he had an accent. British or Irish, or something along those lines. That tidbit had played oh so sweetly in Emma’s mind this week. God, she’d love to hear him say her name -,

“Emma,” a voice beside her said, but it didn’t pull her out of the fog. “Oh my God, Emma, he’s looking right at you.”

“He’s what?” Emma said, blinking back to reality before finding that Doctor Jones was looking this way. She’d been so busy fantasizing, she stopped paying attention to what was right in front of her.

In the middle of the room, the man who had intrigued her for over a week was standing totally still, disregarding the swarm of people on all sides. His entire attention had shifted from the task ahead of him, and he was looking at her, staring with a blend of intrigue and something Emma couldn’t describe. Doctor Nolan had stopped as well, but he was clearly confused as to the delay. He seemed to ask his friend what was wrong, and Emma watched spell bound, as the lips she’d envisioned kissing her moved in some kind of unheard reply. She couldn’t make out his words, but she shivered at the passion and determination etched across his being. David then looked their way, and Emma knew that Doctor Jones – Killian - had asked about them. No, forget that, he had asked about her. He was looking right at her, and that spark of heat and desire she’d always imagined was nowhere near as tantalizing as the real thing. He was looking at her with the same hunger she’d reserved for her wildest imaginings. Holy crap, what was she going to do?

“Ruby?” she asked, her voice squeaked out in alarm. She tore her gaze from the approaching object of her desire and looked to her best friend with overt confusion and mild panic.

“Took him long enough to spot you. It’s been almost a week. I thought I was going to have to hire a marching band or one of those giant arrow guys they have at outlet malls.”

Emma didn’t understand, and then it dawned on her – her friend had planned this. Emma looked at Mary Margaret, but she was still staring in the distance. Only when Emma followed her gaze did she realize that Mary Margaret wasn’t looking at Killian. She was looking at David.

“Hey, ladies, you looking to order, or what? I ain’t got all day!”

The three of them jumped at the barista’s interruption and Mary Margaret surged ahead to the line. She rattled off an order, giving way too much money to the attendant while grabbing her cup with shaky hands. Then she looked at David and back to Emma with an expression that said Mary Margaret may just bolt. Ok, what the actual hell was going on?

Before she could begin to answer that internal question, Doctor Jones and Doctor Nolan were within ear shot. Emma wracked her brain for something to say when they finally got here, but was spared when David broke the ice.

“Doctor Swan,” he said with a head nod and a polite smile. They knew each other peripherally at this point. Emma had consulted on numerous ER cases since Doctor Nolan started his new position. But she wouldn’t call them friends. They were very much acquaintances. “I heard Earl MacDonald is recovering nicely. He most definitely has you to thank for that.”

“And you too,” she said, offering credit where it was due. “A quick diagnosis makes all the difference. I’ve noticed the ER is filled with them since you started.”

“That’s kind of you. I don’t believe you’ve met my friend, Doctor Jones.”

“Killian,” Doctor Jones said immediately, before offering a heart stopping smile of his own. Emma had yet to see the man smile, and her heart skipped a beat, the rhythm of her pulse skittering in an almost blissful way. “A pleasure to meet you, Swan.”

He offered his hand to her, and Emma took it, shaking in greeting even though it was uncommon for doctors or nursing staff to do so. Chief Mills stressed that germ management was a top priority at Mist Haven, and she’d come as close to banning the practice as was legal in the state of Massachusetts. Usually Emma didn’t mind, but germs were the farthest thing from her radar when their fingers touched. Instead, Emma was filled with the zapping sense of promise and a thrill of warmth that made her head swim.

“Emma,” she whispered. A beat passed between them, and Emma lost herself for too long. Only the clearing of a throat beside them brought her back to the moment. She let go of his hand, but tracked the slight disappointment on his face when she did. It filled her with a rush of something long forgotten. A sense of peace and elation she hadn’t tasted in years. “Um these are my friends, Ruby Lucas and Mary Margaret Blanchard. Ruby’s the head nurse in the cardiac unit. And Mary Margaret runs OT for the surgical division.”

Emma tore her gaze from Killian, watching her friends make their greetings. Ruby handled her own completely, and Mary Margaret seemed to have gathered her courage, but now it was David who looked shocked and spell bound. Everyone appeared to be thrown off kilter, and it was only Ruby in control of herself. To say her friend was positively delighted with these new developments would be an understatement. That glee rang out clear as day in her invite to both the attending doctors.

“So… Doctor Nolan, Doctor Jones, any way we could convince you to join us? The coffee’s just all right, but the company’s not half bad.”

Both men agreed immediately, and Emma fought her hardest not to blush. It was hard though, and her pulse was racing in the face of this development. Killian came to stand by her, the space between them so small but still too much to bear. She tried to get her bearings as the cranky barista handed her a latte. She struggled to think of something – anything – to say, but she was tongue tied. Instead, she looked at Killian, finding an openness in his expression that said he felt the same exact way. That gave her comfort and removed some of the tension from the moment.

“The hospital’s been buzzing since you got here,” Emma offered, waiting with him while he ordered a no nonsense coffee of his own. “A lot of people are hoping you’ll stay on past the month.”

“And you, love? Have you such hopes?” his words were earnest but laced with an almost cocky easiness that sent Emma’s mind humming in delight. Still, she played it cool. At least she hoped she did.

“Jury’s still out,” she replied, smiling when he looked a little crestfallen. “Well can you blame me? I hardly even know you. Still haven’t seen what you’re capable of.”

“Only a matter of time, Swan. You can trust in that.”

His words may seem benign, but they were loaded with hidden meaning, and Emma knew he meant each one. She swallowed harshly, thinking of the things he might be capable of. Damn, was it hot in here? Or was it just the devil on her shoulder spinning another one of those dirty dreams of hers?

When they’d all gotten a coffee, the five of them moved off to the patio just outside, reserved for hospital staff. The grounds were manicured beautifully, maintaining an oasis that seemed totally disconnected from the hectic nature of the hospital. This was one of Emma’s favorite places here, and she was surprised to hear that neither David nor Killian had been here yet. They all spent a few minutes making non-threatening small talk, with mostly Ruby moving the conversations along. But despite the fluttering feeling she was grappling with, Emma couldn’t say she hated this building anticipation. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much. She was seated next to Killian, fully aware that all of his attention was devoted to her, and she reveled in it. At one point, while the others were talking about something with the OT department, Killian whispered to her and her alone.

“This might be presumptuous of me, love, but I find I’m helpless to resist. I was wondering – that is, I was hoping that perhaps, you and I, we could…” His eyes looked from hers down to her lips, and Emma wet them absentmindedly. She heard a low growl, and realized it was coming from him. She shifted in her seat, turned on in a way she had never been before. Instinctively she moved closer, sensing the sinfully sweet current between them, like lightning just before it cracked across the summer sky.

“We could…” she continued, hoping he would elaborate and put into words what she herself was wishing for.

“That we could -,”

“Paging all staff to the ER. All staff to the ER for an incoming trauma, category 4.”

This time the PA was most definitely broadcasting a hospital wide announcement, and the irony wasn’t lost on Emma. Ruby looked positively forlorn at the interruption, but it was somewhat poetic after how they’d gotten here.

“Category four,” David repeated, standing immediately, prompting all of them to do the same. “We haven’t had a four since I started. We’re gonna need all hands on deck. Killian?”

“Aye, mate. I’m with you.” He looked back to Emma, and only had time for the swiftest goodbye. “Until next time, love.”

Emma and her friends watched them go, running towards the ER. Belatedly, they realized that if a trauma of that magnitude was coming into the hospital, there were bound to be surgical cases flooding their ward soon enough. They hustled back to their wing, focused once more on their jobs and the lives on the line that they were sworn to help heal and make better. But Emma still carried that moment with her for the rest of the day, and when the shift was over and done, and she’d done all she could to help the people in her care, she was left wondering what exactly Doctor Jones was hoping to ask, and when, oh when, he may try to do so again.

Post-Note: So there we have it. This was originally going to be a oneshot for my CS mixtape series, but alas, the muse wants what she wants, and this time that’s a three part mini-story for all of us to share. Hope that you guys have enjoyed so far and I would love to hear what you think! As always, thanks so much for reading, and I hope you are all staying well in this crazy time! xE

[ransomedrogue]

Tales of Woe - Scenes from S1

oops, meant to get this out before Monday but minor delay due to editing! 

this week - a scene to start the episode and one to end it...

1.3

Weller's emotional rollercoaster of a day started before the previous one had even ended - with a phone call just before midnight.

He hadn't been home all that long after wrapping up the Gibson case when his cell began to ring and he saw that it was an agent from Jane's detail. That alone flicked at his anxiety, making him flash back to the fear he'd experienced seeing her crashed car. Then, when the agent started describing what had happened at the safe house, Weller's blood pressure instantly shot through the roof and he almost walked out the door in just his PJs before he realized he needed to bring his badge and gun.

Rushing to the scene, Weller only managed to resist breaking numerous driving laws by constantly reminding himself that Jane hadn't sustained any serious injuries and was currently chaperoned by multiple FBI agents and cops. Yet he was still much too aware that those same agents had just let a guy sneak into her safe house and it was entirely possible that she would already be dead if that had been the man's goal.

Ice cold dread ran through Kurt at that thought. He could have lost her again, so soon after finding her. Even if they hadn't tested her DNA yet, he was sure that she was Taylor, somehow brought back to him after twenty-five years away.

Pulling up to the scene at an unreasonable pace, Weller saw that it was already getting busy with more agents arriving and the coroner showing up to deal with the body. He flashed his badge to get past the yellow tape and immediately started scanning until he saw Jane sitting on the couch, scowling at the paramedic trying to look into her eyes with a penlight.

"Ma'am, you've been hit hard enough to lose a tooth and your pupils are still dilated. I really recommend that you come to the hospital and get examined by a doctor."

Instead of arguing with the EMT, Jane saw that Weller was approaching and gave him an exasperated look. And suddenly he was transported back to a moment forgotten for so long that he hadn't known that it was still there.

In his memory Kurt was nine and crouching in front of an annoyed four-year-old, doing his best to put antiseptic on her scraped knees as she rolled her eyes at him and complained.

"It's not even bleeding, Kurt," she'd groaned, desperate to get back to the game they'd been playing. "You're such a worrywart."

Weller remembered the internal pressure he'd felt, babysitting his wild little neighbour. It had been a responsibility he took pride in and he'd hated having to tell Emma that Taylor had hurt herself again, attempting some stunt. Or, even worse, explaining that he'd stepped on Taylor's hand, causing her to fall from the tree. Not that Emma had ever blamed him for any of the bruises and cuts; instead, she'd always reassured him that it was all part of an active childhood. Still, he'd been the older one, the one in charge. So he'd always felt like it was his fault if Taylor hurt herself, no matter what anyone else said.

Looking at Jane now, he felt exactly the same way. He obviously couldn't protect her, not even with the power of the FBI behind him. And failing in his duty made him angry and anxious; overprotective to the extreme.

Kurt flashed his badge and told the paramedic that he could go, explaining that he would deal with Jane and make her see a doctor. The EMT exhaled in relief as he walked away from his stubborn patient and Weller took the man's place, standing in front of Jane, who was still seated on the couch.

She looked tired yet agitated, sitting there holding her swollen cheek. He could see that it was already bruising and Weller internally flinched as he imagined her getting hit hard enough to knock out a tooth.

"I knew him," she said immediately. "He's the man from my target training memory. The one that was outside the building before we almost got blown up. He knows me and he was following me. We have to find out who he is."

"Whoa, Jane," Weller replied, crouching down to look at her more closely. "Slow down. We will do everything we can to find out who that guy was and how he's connected to you. And I do want to know exactly what happened here. But first, tell me are you okay?"

Jane looked a little startled by his question, as if she'd completely forgotten about everything else while fixating on the dead man in her safe house. Then she glanced down at her hand on her cheek and wrinkled her nose.

"My face hurts. But otherwise I'm fine," she muttered.

"You still have to get checked out by a doctor," Weller said. "He must have hit you really hard."

Jane brought her hand down from off her jaw and gave him an irritated look.

"It's been a long day, Weller," she groaned. "I really don't want to go to the hospital."

Weller flashed back to earlier that day, having the same argument with her after she'd crashed the SUV. He'd pretty much guilted her into it then. But right now Jane sounded so tired and on edge that he didn't want to battle with her.

Yet it was clear she needed to see a doctor and at least get some x-rays of her jaw. So Kurt thought the issue through until he arrived at a solution that could placate both of them, even taking the time to figure out how best to present it to his recalcitrant patient.

"Well, you can't stay here," Weller finally said. "It's a crime scene now. We'll find you a safer place."

"And you need to be cleared by a doctor before you can come back out in the field with us," he added. "That's standard protocol."

Jane's frown deepened and she exhaled wearily. Weller could hear that he'd chosen the right selling point - she was desperate to stay involved with the case and be out on missions with the team.

"So either I take you to the hospital right now or you pack up some stuff and we go to the NYO. You can sleep in the medical bay until the doctor gets there in the morning to check you out."

Jane gave him a long look that indicated she knew exactly what he was doing. Yet, for once, she didn't argue, just giving him a tired shake of her head instead.

"Okay, I'll see the doctor at the NYO," she sighed.

Weller held back a grin at her begrudging response and offered her his hand. Jane gave it a long suspicious look before grasping it and letting him pull her up to her feet.

The drive to the NYO was silent, even though Kurt was full of questions. He desperately wanted to know everything that had happened that night but knew that it wasn't the right time to ask. Jane was quiet and obviously still shaken from what had happened; so Weller decided to leave his questions for the morning, after she'd been seen by a doctor.

As they neared the office, Kurt glanced over at Jane once more. He had thought her silence was due to her own head being full of questions too, or continued stubbornness about getting medically checked out. But it turned out that she'd just fallen asleep now that all the adrenaline had fled her system, her head lolled back against the headrest so the bird tattoo was perfectly exposed.

He had never before met such a vibrant, tenacious woman. And even though he had no proof yet, Weller knew in his bones that she was Taylor. He'd gotten her back; been given a second chance. And this time, he wasn't going to let anyone hurt her.

Again he glanced over at his sleeping charge, feeling a warm tickle spread through him as he realized how relaxed she now looked. All the tenseness she'd been wearing at the crime scene was gone as she murmured inaudibly and leaned in his direction.

Weller resisted the urge to reach over and brush a wayward strand of hair out of her face, forcing himself to focus on the road. Yet he still found himself looking to his right far too often, as if his eyes were magnetically drawn to her.

It was impossible but he believed it with every cell in his body.

She was Jane and she was Taylor.

And most of all, she was his to protect.

###

Jane's emotional rollercoaster of a day ended with two solid answers; yet her head was still full of questions as she stood there, clinging onto Weller's arm.

After all that arguing with Weller and Agent Reade's open questioning of her role in the investigation, it had been a major relief to be told by Mayfair that they had all supported her being armed and part of the team. Jane was sure that Weller had pulled rank with his agents to get that kind of unanimity but she hadn't even had time to really thank him for backing her before Patterson showed up and gave them the other, unbelievable, news.

She was Taylor Shaw. Weller's neighbour, who had disappeared without a trace twenty-five years ago.

Jane stared at him and he stared right back. She watched a wave of joy pass through Weller's expressive blue eyes and felt his elation ripple down her spine as well. Not only had they finally found out something concrete about her, it tied her intricately with Kurt and explained his name being tattooed on her back.

For a moment Jane wondered if it was normal, how much Weller could make her feel. She'd spent most of the day being furious with him for keeping secrets and refusing to let her participate fully out in the field. But then he'd insisted on going with her to the hospital, despite Agent Reade's vocal objections. Which had paradoxically made her feel both protected and nervous, because it was clear that Reade had touched on the truth.

Then, as soon as they were in danger, he had given her a gun without hesitation, fully trusting her to watch his back. Which had been a good thing, considering how close he'd gotten to having a full round of ammunition pumped into him, point blank. Even as it was, Jane had almost been too late - she'd seen the gunman's trigger finger moving just as she shot him dead.

The relief she'd felt seeing Weller alive was as fierce as any emotion she'd experienced yet. And then there had been a whole new set of feelings after he told her he thought she was his childhood friend, the little girl who went missing when he was ten. That revelation had finally put the entire day into perspective, completely flipping her understanding of his behaviour.

The argument with Mayfair. His sudden overprotectiveness. His blow up when she disobeyed his order and put herself in danger.

Weller had been under such immense personal pressure. She wondered how long he'd been thinking of her as Taylor. Clearly it had been influencing his actions all day.

Jane flushed a bit remembering how furious she'd been with him during his tirade about protecting her. At least she wasn't angry with him anymore. That hadn't felt good at all.

So much was running through her mind that Jane suddenly realized they'd been standing there for ages, just holding on to each other and staring silently. Patterson had left somewhere along the way and it now was just the two of them, with the mind-blowing piece of information hanging between them.

Weller's eyes were still teeming with an emotion she couldn't quite identify. She could see that he was fighting to contain himself now that his suspicion had been confirmed.

Jane flashed back to him telling her that she could trust him, that he'd been looking for her all his life. It made her feel warm and a bit tingly, to be to closely tied to Weller. But there was also pressure to being the girl he'd sought for so long - to mean so much to a man she barely knew, a man who already made her feel everything so strongly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, finally finding his voice.

"Yeah," she replied slowly. "It's just… how is this even possible?"

Weller shook his head, a look of wonder still in his eyes.

"I don't know," he said.

"But we will figure it out. We're going to find out what happened to you."

He sounded so sure but Jane was realizing that getting answers had only opened up an onslaught of new questions. If anything, being Weller's childhood neighbour made the whole situation even more confusing and implausible. Also, what had Casey meant by Orion? Was that a clue to where she'd been taken after being kidnapped at age five?

The wave of questions was about to engulf her when Jane felt a squeeze on her elbow and remembered that Weller's hand was still on her arm. Looking up at him, she suddenly felt drained from everything that had occurred in the past day. She'd barely gotten any sleep after the attack at her safe house and then had an extremely emotionally and physically taxing day.

"Hey," he said, studying her closely. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jane shook her head. She needed some time to think before she asked him any more questions.

"Okay then, how about some food?"

She furrowed her brow at him, confused by the abrupt change in topic. But Weller was just giving her his usual warm concerned look, like he hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.

"I bet you haven't eaten all day," he added. "It's been over twelve hours."

Food was the last thought on her mind, especially after such an intense day. But, thinking about it, she realized that he was right on both counts. And then, precisely at that moment, as if her body was in collusion with Weller, Jane's stomach growled.

Weller grinned at her and Jane swore she even saw a twinkle in his eye as he slipped his hand down her arm until his fingers were entwined with hers.

"Well, that settles that," he said. "Let's go get something to eat."

"Weller," Jane muttered, unsure about his proposition. Going to a restaurant with Weller sounded both enticing and nerve-wracking. Especially with everything that had happened between them that day.

"It's fine, I'll order in later."

"No," he replied sternly. "We're going together and I'll take you to your new safe house after. We won't talk about any of this until tomorrow. But I want to make sure you eat some real food."

Jane's instinct was to argue and push off his concern. But then she remembered the sadness in his eyes as he'd told her about his little neighbour, how he'd been there the night she was taken.

Weller wanted to protect her. And as much as it was sometimes irritating, it also made her feel safer knowing that he was looking out for her so fervently. So maybe it was okay to let him care a bit too much, especially when it felt so good to have his fingers laced between hers.

"Okay," she sighed, giving his hand a squeeze.

She didn't yet know what to say, or how she felt about being his missing girl. But Jane did want him to understand how she was grateful for everything he'd done for her already and for how much he cared.

"Thank you," she finally said, offering him a timid smile. "For everything."

"I'm so glad you found me."

[quirkwizard]

Spoiled Sushi

For a while, a certain article has been vexing me. One that seems to have a great misunderstanding of the series it was writing about, missing obvious points and core parts of the worldbuilding. No, it wasn’t by CBR, nor was it by Screenrant. But it was by Cruchyroll of all places. They decided to make an article about the Top 5 Misused Quirks in My Hero Academia. It was not good and has been bugging me. So I decided to give them a taste of their own medicine. I mean they try to shut down whoever even attempts to do what they do, so why not make fun of them for trying to do what I do? Plus you guys seem to like it when I’m snarky, so this could be fun for everyone.

For clarity’s sake, this was written at the beginning of 2019, when the most recent chapter was Chapter 214 and the the anime had only reached Season 3. I’m keeping that in mind as I write. I will also be skipping around some of the parts of the article as I am talking about it. If its not worth mentioning, I won’t bring it up, simple as that. For instance, I’m skipping the intro because it is completely superfluous and would only serve to make a completely different fanbase mad. Might as well, most of what I am passing up are just dumb jokes. But if you are curious... don’t waste your time reading this. Your time is valuable and you have better things to do then read this article.

5. Kurogiri Can Create Free, Renewable Energy

“In all seriousness, though, Kurogiri is probably one of the most powerful characters in the anime, with their being virtually no limit to how far he can extend his Warp Gate portals.”

I mean there are certainly limits for his Quirk. Besides the need to know the coordinates or see where he is moving, there’s obviously a limit to how much he can spread out his body.

“Why then doesn’t he use them to create near-infinite energy? Open two portals one above another, throw in a heavy object inside and watch it fall endlessly. Devise a way to hook a dynamo or something to it and, bam, you have free power that would make Kurogiri a billionaire overnight and a hero to the entire planet.”

This idea has so many problems that I don’t even know where to begin.

One, if this could work, it likely wouldn’t make a lot of energy. Besides the various physics problems involved in this, Kurogiri would just be one guy doing this, meaning that it’s unlikely he’d be able to make enough power to matter.

Two, Kurogiri would still need rest as he is a living being, meaning he wouldn’t to keep up this theoretical contraption forever and you’d get even less energy relying on him. At most, it would work best in a small bunker as a last resort.

Three, that sounds like it would be a lot more dangerous then it would be worth for the energy made. If Kurogiri would to lose focus for a moment, the portals fall apart and there would just be a lot of damage from this heavy object moving at high speeds.

“Even if Kurogiri only cares about taking down All Might, it would still be much easier to do if he had a literal mountain of money/public goodwill at his side.”

What kind of bizzaro universe are you living in where the guy who makes energy could possibly turn public option about the very well liked Number 1 Hero that saves lives every day? That’s literally what Lex Luthor does and people hate him for it.

4. Koji Koda Could Help Feed Billions Of People

“Koji is the resident Class 1-A stoner (get it? he's made of rock? come on) with the power to control ANY creature in the animal kingdom. This would logically also include spiders, meaning that Koji could literally end all street crime in, like, 5 minutes tops by swallowing all the criminals up in a giant arachno-tsunami.”

While this article is infuriating in many ways, it did give us the mental image of an “arachno-tsunami”. Which is totally worth sitting through this jumbled mess of words and ignorance.

“But, you see, Koji is just too shy and nice to be an effective hero. He wants to do good but he just doesn’t have that fighter instinct in him. Which is why he should instead use his Anivoice Quirk to revolutionize agriculture all around the world.”

You can be an effective hero and not beat people up. Sure, it certainly can come up in the job description, but that isn’t all of what a hero is meant to do. Koda’s Quirk makes him great at information gathering and rescue work, two very important aspects of hero work that suit his personality perfectly.

“Give him a megaphone and fly him over American fields, telling feral pigs to stop causing $1.5 billion worth of damage a year in destroyed crops. Fly him to Australia to tell the invasive cane toads and rabbits to kindly lemming themselves off a cliff. Have him tell the aggressive lionfish the get the hell out of the Atlantic. FORCE HIM TO GET OVER HIS FEAR OF BUGS AND MAKE AGRICULTURAL PESTS A THING OF THE PAST. “

There is no possible way Koda could be everywhere at once to pull that off. And considering that the average human voice can only carry for about a mile, IE, about the average size of a single farm. You know, because animals need to hear his voice in order to receive his commands. So even if it was limited to a single farm, its unlikely to do much to help. But by far the biggest issue with this entire plan is that what Koda does to an animal is not permanent. The second his control is interrupted, the animals return to normal, bound to just go back to whatever they were doing before. 

So if Koda tries to change anything, its just going to end up undone by the time he leaves, just delaying the inevitable problem that comes from these animals. So even if Koda told the pigs to go away, they’d likely be back by the next day, destroying farmland like nothing happened. Even then, because of the previous limitations, he’d still have to go farm by farm to pull it off. That’s not even mentioning all of the other suggestions. Honestly, if you wanted to do something with Quirk, you should just convince all the animals to line up during hunting season. Dark, yes, but it least it would offer a more permanent solution then what the writer is suggesting.

“If Koji was utilized properly, he could travel the world undoing mankind’s mistakes and creating organic, pesticide-free crops instead of doing what he does now, which is largely sitting around on his ass roleplaying Snow White.”

Which, in spite of many fans joking about his Quirk, has shown to be very helpful quite a few times.

3. Inko Midoriya Would Have Made A Great Nurse

“Izuku’s mother in My Hero Academia has mainly done two things so far: jack and squat.”

I mean she did design Izuku’s costume, even if it got replaced, its is still a corner stone of his design, and she offered a good amount of drama after the fight with All Might and All For One. 

“She did try to be a good mother but kind of failed at that when she tearfully apologized to her son because he was born without a Quirk, essentially telling him: “I’m so sorry I gave birth to such a loser.””

Would you believe that this one line was what really prompted me to talk about this? Because that is probably one of the worst takes I have ever in relation to this series. If you honestly believed that is what Inko was doing, the woman who practically raised her child by herself and constantly talks about much she cares for him, you must be watching the wrong series. That’s the only way I could explain why that is.

“So, she doesn’t really have much going on in her life. That’s why she should try nursing instead. I realize that becoming a nurse takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but Inko would be a natural fit for it. Despite her initial shortcomings, she is a very caring person with loads of empathy.” 

Inko’s empathic? Could have fooled me. I mean she did feel the need to apologize to her son for giving birth to a loser. No, I am not over that, how could you have possibly gotten that from the scene?!

“She also has the power of limited telekinesis. Inko can move small objects over short distances, and while that would not be helpful for stopping crime, it would be great for, say, removing kidney stones. Or things stuck in people’s throats. Or coins from children’s stomachs.”

Trying to use a Quirk like this in any kind of medical procedure is laughable at best and dangerous at worst. Imagine if Inko had to remove a bullet from someone. From what we see, the process of her moving objects is slow and need several pulls from her to attract the object to her. So if she’s going to try to pull it out and its going to get caught on something, causing more damage to the person she is trying to save. She’s basically going to be keying the insides of whoever she is trying to operate on.

The entire reasons doctors, especially surgeons, train for so long is because the human body can be extremely delicate. It needs a lot of care and time so the doctors don’t make things worse for the patients. It’s why surgeons need to have such steady hands and a lot of time even to due minor procedures. But trying to do that with a Quirk is just going to cause more problems then it can solve. Doing that with a Quirk like Inko’s just lacks a lot of the precision and dexterity necessary to pull this off.

2. Uraraka Should Go Work For A Shipping Company

“Ochaco Uraraka has one of the most well-rounded Quirks out of all the main characters: Zero Gravity. With it, she can make objects and people float, which is great for offense, defense, and rescue operations. As a superheroine, she is doing everything right with her Quirk.”

I mean “Zero Gravity” can kind of be used offensively, but not effectively as other Quirks. Its why she did all of that training with Gun Head to make up for her lack of an offensive presence. Eh, two of three ain’t bad. I’ll take what I can get.

“I just think Uraraka should never have become a superheroine in the first place. Uraraka has actually always been honest about her motivation: she wants dem YEN YEN BILLS YO (for her struggling family.)”

That’s because hero work is an extremely frugal business even super minor heroes can still seem to make a decent living out of it.

“But regular jobs also exist in that world, and that must include shipping companies that would instantly hire Uraraka to Zero-G their freighters, trucks, and planes. Even if she cannot make them float, she can still remove enough gravity from them to save the company tons of fuel. Company profit margins are razor thin.”

First off, its mentioned several times that if you want to use a Quirk for a job, you need to have a hero license. Its to make sure you know how to use your Quirk properly so you don’t end up hurting someone with your powers. So for her to even try this, she needs to go through hero school anyway. Might as well get the most out of it. Second, Uraraka cannot lower the gravity of her target. Either the object is floating or it isn’t floating. There is no in between for Uraraka. 

Third, given what we’ve seen from Uraraka, there is no possible way that she could ever lift that much. She’s barely able to lift three lower numbered robots and that was only for a few seconds. So, at the most, she can lift a few tons. How exactly do you expect her to work with something like a cargo plane, which, on its own, can weight over forty five tons, not including fuel or any extra cargo?

Which is another thing I noticed throughout the article: the writer seems to severely overestimate how effective Quirks actually are. The range and scope of Quirks is much smaller then other power systems, even when compared to similar “low level” series like HunterxHunter. Like every kind of application listed goes far beyond what most Quirks are capable of, such as forgetting certain drawbacks. And that is most notable with the last suggestion.

1. Momo Could Solve Literally All The World’s Problems

I bet Kohei Horikoshi was really proud of himself when he came up with Momo Yaoyorozu’s design: No, see, she HAS to dress scantily because her Quirk is Creation, i.e. the ability to create any object she wants through her skin, which must be constantly exposed. Peachy.”

Oh boy, it wouldn’t be any sort of discussion about Momo without beating that long dead horse. What’s next? Bakugou angry? Izuku cry? 

“Momo can apparently create anything as long as she understands its composition, and seeing as she’s made an ethanol spray can, infrared goggles, a lighter, and a tracker, it seems like there’s nothing she cannot make.”

Oh boy, it wouldn’t be any sort of discussion about Momo without a grievous misunderstanding of how her Quirk works either. Maybe they are in the fandom. As I have mentioned in my Momo Misconceptions post, Momo needs fat to make what she does. She’s not an alchemist where she can just clap her hands and make whatever she wants. If she doesn’t have enough fat, she cannot make items. By those very rules, some things are just out of her reach because it would just take too much fat. It’s why she limits herself to simpler items.

“Cool. MAKE US SOME HELIUM THEN. The world is running out of the gas and we need it for MRI scanners and the like. Momo could make more of it.”

Actually, we don’t even know for sure if Momo is capable of making gases. All we have seen her make is solids and a few liquids. There is the lighter she made, but that could easily run on lighter fluid.

“Or thorium. She could make thorium that we could use to make thorium-based reactors that are apparently way safer than uranium ones.”

Thorium isn’t even that rare, just as about as common as lead and three times as common as uranium. Even if it was a problem, it would likely kill her, either from burning through all of her fat or from the exposure to radiation.

“Medicine, fresh water, cheap electronics that we could send to developing countries: Momo could crank all of those out in an afternoon.“

Yes, in theory, Momo could do that, but not the extent that she would make a major difference in the world like they are suggesting. There are just more practical and better long term solutions then trying to force a single person to do all of that. It’s almost as if Momo is a regular human being who has limitations you need to keep in mind when making these ill informed suggestions.

“And while spending your life as a walking Everything Faucet might not seem that glamorous, it actually has the potential to change the entire planet for the better.”

Given the kind of set up and effort that would be required to even attempt that, I think “horrific” would be a more appropriate descriptor since it would be done to a living, thinking person.

Honestly, I think that most of these people are doing more with their Quirks now then with any of these suggestions. At least, when you actually think about the rules and limits of the characters. Sure, Inko isn’t doing much, but she is a civilian with a fairly weak Quirk. Kurogiri acts as a major player within the League, getting them around quickly and evading capture. I mean he is using his power to help out a bunch of villains, but my point still stands that he is not “misusing” his Quirk.

In fact, a majority of the people on this list are doing more to help people and save lives by being heroes. Given the limitations of their abilities, using them to stop superpowered criminals who risking damaging the people around and helping victims of these crimes is doing then any of those roles in spite of the fact that the article tries its best to downplay that these people are already saving lives. So, in reality, they are doing far more to help people then doing any of these ideas, you damp sock of a writer.

[craniuum]

Hi! I’m considering trying for medical school, but I’m not sure if it’s for me and I don’t know if I can handle it considering my struggles with depression and anxiety which get worse when I’m sleep deprived. What surprised you most about medical school? What do you wish you’d known beforehand?

Hi and sorry for the delay in my response!! To preface my (very long) answer, I think there absolutely needs to be a place in medicine for those of us who struggle with our mental health, because it really gives you a unique way to relate and empathize with patients' needs. However, the way medical school is structured isn't the most conducive to maintaining good mental health, and oftentimes the wellness initiatives that a med school implements can pile on to stress (for example, my med school made us go to mandatory wellness lectures...).

I can only really speak for medical education in the United States since that's what my experience was in! I would look into the websites of schools you're interested in to see how they look out for their students, or even better, try to get in touch with a current student there and ask them directly about their experience (but I know this is hard if you don't know anyone in med school). MedTwitter is a great resource too - there are some insightful med students (both anon and non-anon) to follow and I'm happy to share links if you'd like!

That being said, here's a list of what surprised me about medical school/what I wish I had known beforehand:

Medical school, especially when you're doing clinical rotations, is EXTREMELY performative. So much of your grade is affected by your social skills and how well you personally get along one-on-one with whoever is evaluating you. Half the time I felt like I was in acting school (especially when I was rotating on something that I had no interest in lmao). I am not extroverted at all and I often had to force myself into being extroverted on rotations for the sake of my grades

Also, there is so much bias that goes into evaluations (e.g. as a woman of color I personally found it harder to connect to my white male attendings and I often saw that other white or male students tended to get better evals, whether intentional or not)

If your main career objective is to make money - DON'T GO INTO MEDICINE!!! There are so many easier and shorter career paths out there with less liability. The debt you incur from medical school is very real, and it's difficult to get need-based or merit-based scholarships. Depending on what specialty you go into afterwards, it can take a very long time to pay loans back. Surgical and procedural specialties tend to make a lot more money than primary care - something that I was not aware of until I actually got to med school

What you study from textbooks is so different from actual clinical practice and what you see in the hospital/clinic

Patients care less about you being right about something and more about you being a kind, nonjudgmental listening ear for them

Studying for my STEP 1 exam was singlehandedly the worst experience of med school/possibly my entire life. Board exams suck in general. The MCAT that you have to take before med school is nothing like the board exams you'll take later, for better or for worse.

Being in medicine during a global pandemic that has highlighted how broken our healthcare system is and how selfish people can be has been a really disheartening experience - to the point that I have been questioning my career choice at times. But despite the lows being lows, the highs really do make it worth it (for me). I would recommend doing some introspection to dig deep into your reasons for wanting to pursue medicine! Is it to help people? Because you like learning about diseases? Once you figure out your "Why," see if there are other career paths that will help you reach those goals and compare them with medical school to see what appeals to you more!

I hope this was useful (and that it didn't scare you off!) - please reach out if you have more questions!! Always happy to help 🥰

[braindeadskeletons]

Hello!! Can I have a matchup please?? It seems like every time I ask someone for one, something happens in which they can't 😂😂 but that's fine lol,, I'm a cisgender bicurious female of which the curious part is aimed towards males! The only men I've ever liked are fictional smh,, my friends tend to think I'm bubbly and very open, and they relate me to the colours orange or yellow! I'm also British and I have a love for horror movies and psychology. I would go on but,, happy writing!! Love ya

I'm a very naturally femine person in appearance. My room is full of pastel colours, mainly pinks and purples, alongside plushies and lots of duck ornaments! Since my favourite animal is a duck (fuck geese they scare the shit out of me). Despite this, a lot of people don't expect this? Apparently I seem like the kind of person to have a much simpler or perhaps darker room. So I usually tend to shock people when they see what my room looks like lol. I love unique fashion! Stuff you see on cat walks - christmas themed dress, teacup shaped t-shirt, whatever! You name it, I've probably seen something like it! Because of this, I also have a love for weird decorations. My kitchen is flamingo themed, my bathroom is winter themed (yes, I have a santa clause toilet), and my office is fulled to the brim with 90s and 80s memorabilia. Stuff you wouldn't find nowadays without some digging!! I'm currently in college taking an accounting degree, also alongside business. After that, I also wish to take a literature course to help with my fanfiction writing (perhaps I could eventually write a novel? I don't know haha) Crude humour is the key for me to be happy. As much as silly humour and stuff is great, say something vaguely offensive and I'll crack up! As long as it's not meant to be taken genuinely, then I'll find it funny. Although I have to be close to the person for me to actually start laughing at stuff like that

Hey there! I'm so sorry this was a wait! I basically had some stuff come up and it delayed my work a lot. Plus the added time from the added information you gave me, which I thank you for by the way <3 I had a lot of fun writing this! I hope it doesn’t disappoint lol. Instead of delaying this further let's just get right into the matchup, shall we?

I match you with Undertale Papyrus!

This might've been a little too obvious huh? I just couldn't help it, you two seemed like such a natural pair! I try not to go with matches that are too obvious but sometimes you just have to go with it.

The first thing that naturally attracted Papyrus to you was how open and bubbly you are! He can relate a lot to that himself and seeing how much of a natural you are while interacting with others just convinced him further that he just had to talk to the pretty lady! Of course, the moment you two start talking you both hit it off. It’s kind of physically impossible for anybody to hate Papyrus or for Papyrus to hate anybody. You know those fanfics on AO3 that are slow burn, friends to lovers, 140+ chapters? That’s what this is. There is no better way to put your relationship before you both are dating. Papyrus means well, and by god is he a good person, but he’s a bit of an airhead when it comes to romantic attraction. You could literally tell him that you want to marry him and have ten monster/human hybrid children and he’d still be like ‘BUT,,,AS FRIENDS,,,?’ You’ll need to wait for him to understand his feelings himself. It’ll hit him at one of the dumbest times possible. For example:

----------

You: geese are just,,,,kinda,,,,horrible

Papyrus:

You: fuck geese

Papyrus: 

You:

You: Papyrus are y-

Papyrus:  I THINK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU???

----------

Yup. Just like that. No warning, no proper build-up, nothing could have predicted this. It’s just silly moments between the two of you that make him so smitten. Like you’re such??? A dork??? How could he not fall in love with you?? It’ll be a huge smack in the face for him that he’s fallen in love with you. Probably it’ll be the same for you if you’re the type of person who is oblivious with love. If not, then it was horribly obvious he likes you and you were simply waiting for him to say something first. The blushing, constantly trying to impress you, his lovestruck gazes at you when you laugh at his antics, etc. The signs were all here if you’re able to spot them. Now that Papyrus is aware of the fact that he likes you he isn’t going to let this opportunity pass by. Time for the dating manual!

This part is actually going to be the worst. Yes, the hard work and effort are absolutely precious and you’re very flattered he’s trying to “court” you as he puts it but it’s going to be overwhelming. Unless you’re fully on board with flowers being left at your door, love letters, great “acts of love”, serenading you with a not so great voice, randomly inviting you out to “friend dates” that are actually regular dates in disguise, complimenting you every waking moment, and more you might want to stop him and just tell him you like him too. Once you tell him you feel the same way,  prepare for the most wholesome hugs and kisses from the big goober. Fully expect to wake up the next day and everybody already knows you’re his date-mate. Papyrus is going to tell everybody and their great grandmas that he landed himself with the greatest human ever. 

So you mentioned that your kitchen is flamingo themed? Uh,,,don’t get used to it. Not that Papyrus would ever openly try and change your home, he loves your decorating! He doesn’t really understand how people wouldn’t expect you to have such an adorable home! He has named all the duck ornaments, become well acquainted with your stuffed animals and the real animals, is slightly afraid of the Santa Claus toilet because Santa is the evil man sans told him about, etc, etc. But we all know how he gets in the kitchen. If you care about the wellbeing of your flamingo decorations maybe move them somewhere else? Papyrus swears that he won’t set fire to your home but we both know how that goes for everybody involved.

----------

Papyrus: HUMAN

You: Yeah?

Papyrus: HOW ATTACHED WERE YOU TO THE FLAMINGO DECOR

You:

Papyrus:

You:

Papyrus:

You: Hun, I love you

You: but if you fucked up the flamingo decorations I swear to god-

----------

This is a regular conversation you two need to have. Somebody, please stop him.

He really really loves your sense of fashion! Since the two of you have been dating, he’s actually gotten into it a bit himself. Papyrus tries not to invade your privacy but one time he stumbled into your office and saw all of your memorabilia dedicated to the 90s and 80s and immediately fell in love with the aesthetic. It’s all he could talk about for weeks and god knows he isn’t stopping anytime soon. Try introducing him to some more fashion! Papyrus probably won’t get enough of all of it. Watch him show up to your home dressed like the whole circus.

When Papyrus hears of how you’re studying right now, he’s going to go on a little bit of a rant about how he knows plenty of stuff about school! Not really. He just thinks he does because he has his face in a shrub at Toriel’s school. This isn’t to downplay his intelligence of course but monster education and human education have a lot of differences. When it comes to accounting Papyrus isn’t exactly going to understand anything, but he will be very supportive! He may not understand much about accounting but he surprisingly knows a lot about business?? Yeah, it’s a little strange but I guess you shouldn’t be that shocked. Papyrus is supposedly the ‘mascot of monsters’ and he’s also friends with the monster ambassador. To say the least, he’s surrounded by a lot of really important people. If you’d like, he’ll even take you to meet a couple higher-ups! Whatever he can do to support you he will.

As for your love for writing, Papyrus would probably have to redirect you to Alphys. Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s just that the humans on the surface have been a little…intense...for Papyrus and Sans. He’d like to take a break from any sort of writing for a long long time.

Onto the final section! Date nights! Which for Papyrus might as well be every night. His idea of an ideal date would probably be something extremely outlandish, but he knows humans can’t handle a lot of the stuff he can so he tones it down. Making dinner and watching a movie is good enough, right? Papyrus knows you love horror movies in particular. This poor guy is trying his very best. Please be patient with him. He wants to prove that he can protect you and be the bigger monster but he’ll end up clinging to you the whole time and maybe even crying?? Just a little. As a treat. 

Yeah, so go gentle on the horror movies. Poor guy is gonna pass out.

His main goal during the date will be to make you smile at every possible turn. You’re in luck with the crude humor! Now you may be thinking ‘but Papyrus isn’t crude, he’s such a sweetheart!’ and you’re not wrong really. Most of the stuff he says is entirely on accident or he’s just genuinely oblivious to the implications of what he just said. If anything that only makes it all the more hilarious to witness. If Papyrus catches himself with what he said he’ll try apologizing profusely only to be met with your adorable smiling face. He may not get what’s so funny but seeing how your smile reaches your eyes makes whatever he just said worth it.

[dillydedalus]

april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down...  i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

[jacklyn-flynn]

This entry is particularly special to me! @charlatron co-authored  this as a sequel to the fantastic fic she wrote me called Fire & Blood which you can read here. It involves her sex positive Olivia Trevelyan meeting my lovely, if not naive Warden Briall. They immediately hit it off and once Zevran arrives, all three get to know each other better. 

I’ve written the third in the series for her Satinalia present and we’ll be posting that after this week so keep an eye out for more of our OT3, lemony goodness!

Hi Liv! 

I so enjoyed spending that week with you! I’ve been talking about you nearly the whole trip home and I’m sure Zevran has had enough of it. I really wish you two could have gotten to know each other. I’m sure you would both get along swimmingly. 

He did tell me something that I wanted to address. Honestly, it’s a large part of my decision to write to you before we got home. I have to apologize for my behavior. Zevran informed me that you were, in fact, hitting on me. Or rather, as he put it, you were giving me the “fuck-me eyes.” I truly hope that I never said or did anything to lead you on or make you uncomfortable! 

I really enjoyed having another woman to talk to. I wasn’t really comfortable enough with Leliana to discuss relationship things and you were just so easy to talk to! 

Again, I’m so sorry for my obliviousness. I’m afraid I’m still not really good at picking up things like that. I suppose I should have guessed when you talked about your experiences with other women. I’d never considered it before so I’m not sure what I would have done differently if I had noticed. Zev has brought up several ideas. I’m pretty sure he likes the idea of someone else joining us. I don’t know how I would feel about sharing my husband's affections with an incredibly beautiful woman who is far more experienced than I am! 

But, it is fun to think about, isn’t it? 

Curiously, 

Briall

P.S. Zev absolutely loved that thing you suggested I do. Thank you!

_

My dear, sweet Briall,

I was so happy to receive your letter - a fact I had not expected to be true when we parted ways. I have not previously put much effort into maintaining acquaintances, and rarely dwell on the absence of a person’s company, but I feel as though I found a true friend in you. A kindred spirit, perhaps? It fills me with a certain kind of warmth I haven’t felt in an age to know that you speak of our time together with such fondness. 

As for that extremely perceptive husband of yours, it seems he was able to deduce more in a few seconds than you did in almost an entire week; for I was, in fact, “hitting” on you. I have to admit, I had forgotten how it felt to have my “fuck-me eyes” fail quite so spectacularly, but for all my failed attempts it did at least mean I was able to cultivate something entirely different with you. Something rare and wonderful.

You are a remarkable woman Briall, inside and out, and I apologize if this admission of my initial intentions makes you feel at all uncomfortable.

There is something I feel I should tell you, however. Upon reading your words “But, it is fun to think about isn’t it” I remembered a dream I had, that last night we spent together. 

Oh, who am I trying to fool? I did not just remember... I think of it often. I would say I’m sure you can imagine what kind of dream I am alluding to, but let us be honest, your track record for understanding these things is not the greatest (I am laughing as I write this).

I’m talking about sex, Briall. You, me, and that ridiculously pretty husband of yours doing the most wondrously filthy things to each other, and when I woke up… well, I haven’t been that disappointed in a very long while. 

So, in answer to your question: yes; it really is fun to think about.

I do sincerely hope you’ll write me back, though understand if the contents of this letter dissuade you from doing so.

Hopefully,

Olivia

P.S. Empowering, isn’t it?

-

Dearest Olivia, 

Your letter certainly didn’t make me uncomfortable! I was rather expecting something along those lines, now that I have been educated in all of the things that I missed during our time together. Perhaps a bit embarrassed, but not uncomfortable. 

I was far more embarrassed when my ridiculously pretty husband saw me furiously blushing over your letter. I didn’t plan on disclosing our private correspondence but as you can imagine Zevran is very persuasive.

Now that I know your erotic intentions I find myself thinking about them and what I might have done differently. A lot. Certainly, nothing would have happened without Zevran's approval but, unsurprisingly he has given permission without even having to ask!

Zevran is a very skilled man (and I mean very) but there is something appealing about being pleasured and pleasuring someone who knows exactly how it feels. Which is to say, I would absolutely need lessons but I'm positive I would have at least two volunteers for tutilage. I am a very quick and motivated learner.

My experience is extremely limited, and I've often wondered what might have happened had I not met or committed myself to my gorgeous Antivan. 

Perhaps sometime in the future, I might find out?

Curiously,

Briall

-

Dearest Briall,

I am glad to hear that my confession did not elicit any negative feelings - and even more so to learn that such delightful curiosity might even be encouraged by your amore. Clearly, he is far more secure with your relationship than most spouses tend to be.

Genuinely I am uncertain if you intended for your last letter to tease me so, but, for the purpose of my reply, I have decided to assume you do in fact know exactly how such words would have been received. 

One thing I am certain of however is that you would indeed be a very fast and extremely thorough learner - and I would very much enjoy the opportunity to assist in providing such intimate education. 

Amongst other things - namely how sweet your cunt tastes when brought to climax - I do find myself wondering exactly how open-minded this seemingly perfect husband of yours is. 

And... on a completely unrelated note, I have had to alter the course of my travels and will soon be arriving in Denerim. I’ll be staying at the gnawed noble for a week or so... should that be of any interest to you?

Patiently yours,

Olivia

-

Dear Olivia, 

I apologize for the delay in the delivery of this letter. It had nothing to do with your previous correspondence though I’m sure you must have thought so! As it turns out, Zevran and I are on our way to Denerim as well to visit our dear friend, Alistair. We happened to get caught in a large storm and I didn’t dare send the poor raven out in it. By the time you get this letter, we should be only a few days from the city.

Zevran is excited to meet you properly and I am ecstatic at being able to see you again! (Assuming you don’t mind his company. We’re rather a package deal.) We will have so much to catch up on and so many new things to discuss. 

I would definitely not be interested in staying at the Gnawed Noble. I have less than fond memories of that place. As such, I’ve written ahead to the staff and requested one of the Orlesian suites in the palace. In typical Orlesian fashion, the beds are nearly twice as large as normal in that wing. If you would be interested in spending the latter part of your trip with me and Zevran in our suite at the palace, we would be glad to have you. 

Because I can be less than clear I want to state, in writing, that I am inviting you to share said bed with us. Preferably naked most of the time, with very little actual sleep going on. I’m so nervous my hand is shaking as I write this! All of the possibilities running through my head are absolutely thrilling.

Despite my jitters, you can rest assured that I am excited and very sure of this little adventure! Zevran is as well, regardless if he is just an observer or participant. (I can promise that you would very much enjoy and benefit from his participation.)

Until we arrive, you have full use of the suite should you like to use it. Just mention my name and they’ll set you up with the lodging, including all of the palace’s amenities and all of the food and drink you can stand. 

Affectionately and excitedly,

Bri

[bettersafethandicks]

Hey look what i found in the storm drain its a troy x reader fic

gender neutral reader, contains: branding, biting, blood stuff,b... light cannibalism, sedation, nothin sexual.  and i say troy x reader but you think tyreen isnt getting in on that too?  going off the hc that troys gotta “steal” energy to keep up his siren powers, and also that those seams on his face split into a nasty monster mouth  👀

4533 words oh my god

Admittedly, most of the reason you were here was for safety. When you had seen the posters around in your last few visits to the nearest trading post, you scoffed at the cult-like calls to join the ‘Children of the Vault’.  Who would fall for that, aside from the odd psycho still capable of reading?  

You thought that, of course, until you barely drove off a group of bandits that had descended on your little shack in the wasteland.  You had been banking on the run-down look of the place to advertise that there was nothing worth stealing in here, but some people can’t take a hint it seemed.  There was no doubt that they’d be coming back, probably with Outriders and definitely with more guns.  This last attack you managed to survive entirely by luck, and you weren’t too confident on that luck holding out a second time; suddenly the idea of being in a large group was more appealing, even if you had to…show your face at some insane church service weekly, or something.  Most things would beat getting riddled with bullets and left out for the scavengers.

With that, you packed up the belongings you could fit in a bag and set back off for the trading post.  After asking around a bit, you found out that once a week, a busted-up caravan would roll through to pick up anyone interested in joining the Children of the Vault; luckily you only had a day’s wait ahead of you.  

When the vehicle finally did show up, it was impossible to mistake it for anything else.  Inverted vault symbols and peering eyes decorated the metal, roughly marked with paint or blood; ‘whatever was on hand’ was the motto of the wasteland.  You had been hoping someone else would’ve been waiting with you by the time they got here, but it looked like you were the only convert today.    

Climbing into the caravan, a weathered-looking man standing beside the driver croaked out a “Welcome, disciple.”  He was wearing some kind of leathery, layered red and white ceremonial robe; you felt sweaty just looking at him.  As it turns out, you were not the only convert on the caravan; four others occupied the seats that lined the walls.  You chose a spot beside the least-murderous looking one.

It was a bumpy, five-hour ride to the camp.  Despite wanting to stay awake and maybe pick up some…cult-appropriate behavior tips from the others, you ended up falling asleep with your skull vibrating against the wall of the van.  

You jolted awake, being gently shaken by the man who had welcomed you onto the bus.  Stepping out, you and the other converts for the day were shuffled into a fenced in area, and through the bars you were greeted by the admittedly impressive Children of the Vault camp.  

The large, walled-in compound was populated mostly by tents, small sheet metal structures, and the cargo-container-turned-homes that were so typical to the wastelands. The occasional stable building poked up, among the smaller homes, displaying indicators of shops and food and medical assistance; it was like a real settlement in here.  In the center was what you supposed was the ‘temple’, a definitely more purposeful structure, emblazoned with huge symbols of the cult and fronted with what looked like a stage.  

There wasn’t much time to examine the camp though, as you were quickly directed toward a short line leading to a set of steel doors.  You recognized the people from the van, and filed in behind them.  

“What’re we doing?” You half-whisper to the person in front of you.

“We’re gettin’ a checkup, making sure we aren’t bringin’ any disease into camp, and then we get our marks.”

“Oh- okay…” You wanted to ask exactly what getting a mark meant, but you figured it was a good idea to downplay the fact that you were only here to use this place as a shield; being completely clueless would’ve been a dead giveaway.

The line moved at a reasonable pace, and soon you were inside the building, just in time to wait a little more.  Every place you advanced was preceded by a dull hissing noise from the room the converts entered, and it was hard to not feel anxious about what could be happening behind the door. Maybe you should’ve asked for a pamphlet before deciding on joining a cult.

Once you reached the front of the line, you handed your bag off to be rifled through, and you were sent through the door.  The hiss of a gas torch drew your attention to a little kiln on the clinic’s counter, a window on the door hatch giving off a red glow. You dart your gaze from that to the tired-looking person in medical garb fitting a new sheet of paper into a clipboard.

After giving your name and basic information, a vial of blood, and getting checked for, among other things, a number of nasty Pandoran skin parasites, the doctor turned to the kiln.  They gestured to an exam table.

“Hold out your hand and set it on the table.”  They stated flatly, opening the door and pulling out an unmistakable branding iron.

The vault symbol glowed a yellow-orange that was hard to look at.  Trembling a little, you extended your arm with a deep breath.  Remember, it was this or the bandits.  

“No, your palm.”

You flip your hand, trying not to shake and give them a harder target.

“Welcome disciple to the Children of the Vault may the light and fortune of the Calypsos shine on you now and forever.”  You would’ve laughed at the utter lack of emotion in this rushed incantation if you weren’t about to have a lovely new third degree burn.

Speaking of-

HHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The pain was delayed for a second, but the noise was enough to make you instinctively react, jaw clenching shut so hard you thought your teeth might crack.  You could smell your own flesh burning.  The brand was pulled back and the pain hit, your fried nerves not sure if you were feeling extreme heat or cold, but it sure as hell hurt; looking at the seared vault symbol sunken into the skin of your palm was only adding to your panic.  

Before you could yank your hand away to wave it around in agony, the doctor’s hand latched around your wrist and they began smearing some jelly-like cream over the mark.  Immediately the pain was soothed to a dull ache.

“Don’t wash that off for the next four hours or it’ll get infected.” They said, tossing the branding iron back into the kiln and filing your patient sheet away.  

After that, your day was a flurry of being sorted to your quarters (a small shack you shared with another wasteland scavenger, a pretty good roommate based on the number of raiders and psychos you saw milling around), being filled in on what duties were expected of you (based on your physical you were given a set of non-combat jobs), and when the religious services were (daily inside the temple, and ‘presentations’ would be given onstage at the Calypso’s discretion).  You’d have to show up to at least one service a week, and it was suggested to attend more.  

A couple weeks passed pretty uneventfully.  You’d only seen the Calypsos twice at this point, both times from a place far back in the crowd during their speeches.  You had to hand it to them; they were pretty charismatic- plus it was cool to finally see a siren in real life, never mind two.  You’re pretty sure one of the speeches included a public execution of someone who had attacked the camp, though you didn’t have a good enough view to see what happened. The crowd sure liked it; you were surprised there wasn’t a riot based on how riled up they were getting.

One morning a voice droned over the speakers that dotted the camp, rousing you from your sleep.  The Calypsos had returned victorious from an outing, and all followers were supposed to go witness them; you groaned softly.  Couldn’t they wait until afternoon to come home?  

The next part of the announcement surprised you.  They were coming in through the northwest gate; the entrance closest to you.  Looks like you wouldn’t be in the distant back of the crowd this time… The thought was a little intimidating.  These two rulers and their travel party of the roughest bandits in camp were going to be passing right by your door.  All things considered, it was nice to be on this side of the equation.

You got dressed quickly and left your shack, your morning-person roommate already out and about.  People were already milling about around the gate, with more devoted followers jogging over from elsewhere in the camp.  You were…admittedly kind of excited to see them up close.  Warlords were basically celebrities on Pandora, and it was a rare experience to see one without being murdered.

The gates opened, and you stood on your tiptoes to get a better look. Cheering and devoted cries heralded the raiding party’s entrance, growing in intensity at the first glimpse of the twins.

They parted the crowd yards ahead of them as they moved through the camp.  You had never gotten a good look at either of them, and it made your heart stutter in your chest to see them coming toward you.  Even if you didn’t buy into what they were selling, they were powerful sirens, and just that fact was enough to amass a following.  

Tyreen was enough to make your blood run cold all on her own; regal, luminous blue dancing over her arm, keenly aware of just how devastating she could be, looking straight ahead with only her goals in sight...it didn’t seem fair that was another one.  Troy towered over her, eyes scanning over the crowd.  It was almost like they coordinated their siren markings along with their clothing, the softly glowing red that ran up to his face making a perfect contrast to hers.  Chains and crystals bounced against his chest, almost pointing out the tattoos decorating him. It became clear that they’d pass right by you, using the well-worn path leading to temple

As they advanced, you averted your eyes, suddenly remembering your desire to lay low.  But…one more glance wouldn’t hurt.  You lifted your gaze to steal another look at them and-

Both of them were looking directly at you as they passed. Time seemed like it was stopped; your heart certainly was.  Their icy eyes were held on you, though they didn’t break their stride at all.   The hint of a smile was on Tyreen’s face, and Troy’s eyebrow raised curiously.  You felt like you could evaporate on the spot without any help from a siren.

And then they were gone, backs to you, long coats flowing out behind them like capes.  You inhaled for the first time in years, and wondered if anyone else noticed that.  The crowd pushed you along to the temple stage, following their leaders.

You spent the entirety of their presentation in a daze.  Something had gone well and you were all blessed, apparently- something about a new supply train of weapons and shields and food. Once they had concluded, you found your way back to your quarters.  You tried to drive what had happened from your mind.  Why did they look at you?  Did they look at anyone else?  Were they mad?  They didn’t look mad.  You hadn’t done anything wrong and it’s not like they could tell you weren’t here out of faith…right?

  Every hour that passed quietly served to calm down the paranoid thoughts fluttering around.  Then there was a knock at the rough sheet of metal you called a door.

A temple priest stood in front of you, red, black, and white robes skimming the ground.  

“The Saviors have requested to hold audience with you.”  She stated.

You were pretty sure your insides just twisted themselves into a knot.  “They- W-with me?”  This had to be a mistake, or a dream, or-

A hologram of your face sprang up out of a handheld projector, the terrible scan they had taken on your first day here, along with your name and the location of your little shack.  “Correct. With you.”

You stood without responding, unable to process the events and hoping maybe they’d just go away if you wished hard enough.

“Follow.  They will not be happy to wait.”  

It sounded like her voice was muffled and distant.  Could you remember how to walk?  You knew how to walk right?

Almost without permission, your feet moved forward, trailing behind the priest in a state of shock.  You wanted to ask why, but even if you could form words you doubted this person would give you a response.  There was no way you’d be able to make a run for it; one alert and you’d be tackled by every zealot in sight.  

You were at the temple much faster than you’d like.  Was the walk here always this short?  At the very least, the lack of a jeering crowd gathered at the stage pushed ‘getting publicly executed’ lower on the possibilities list.  Taking deep, even breaths to calm yourself, you entered the building with the priest, heavy doors shutting behind you both.

           The emotionless minister led you straight through the large atrium where services were held, the stained-glass panel depicting the Calypso twins backlit and radiant as always.  It was never quite as threatening as it was in this moment, the image of the two of them towering over you seeming to hint at your fate as you approached.  You were led into a back hallway, lavishly decorated with symbols and devoid of any outside light sources; the priest entered a that unlocked a sliding door at the end of the hall, and-

           Tyreen and Troy Calypso sat at the top of a raised platform, steep black stairs leading to their matching thrones.  Blue and red lines contoured the edges of the chairs, the otherworldly glow making them even more intimidating than usual.  The room was opulent, well-constructed; unlike anything you had seen firsthand on Pandora.  But the two of them, looking down at you, waiting for you to approach them…

           The sharp noise of the priest moving across the floor brought your soul back to the ground.  Scared as you were, this was absolutely beyond the time to think about making a break for it, or even disobeying in the slightest.  You hurriedly caught up and followed behind, trying not to physically vomit your entire heart onto the nice clean floor.  Please just stop at the foot of the stairs-

           You were climbing the stairs, eyes glued to the red and white robe in front of you, not trusting yourself to look up and risk tripping.  When you reach the top, the worst happens; you’re directed to take more steps and approach them.  Panic tightens your throat, standing in front of the two sirens and feeling very small.  

           “Kneel.” Hissed the priest, pulling you with her to the ground.  “I’ve brought the devoted you requested, my Saviors.”

“You may return to your duties.”  Tyreen called to the high servant, dismissing her with a wave.  The priest stands and bows, and her footsteps fade behind you.  The door closes.

Tyreen and Troy stand seemingly in sync, and you keep your gaze lowered to the floor, wondering why you haven’t been vaporized yet.  The two stride forward until they’re right in front of you, wordlessly looking down at your kneeling form.  

You’re utterly frozen in place as Tyreen reaches out.  You’re braced for something agonizing; the twisting, glowing blue on her opposite arm like the warning colors of a poisonous animal. A jolt runs through you when all she does is cup your jaw with an almost reverent touch, tilting your head up to face them.

“You see Troy?  Can you feel it now?”  

You didn’t dare move as Troy reach out with his human arm to do the same on the other side, calloused fingertips grazing the side of your throat.  

His face splits into a grin, and he laughs. “Ohh, wow. You were right Tyreen.”  

“Say that again.”

“Shut up.”

Troy shifted his hand to hold your chin as Tyreen moved hers away. Your heart was racing and he leaned in, tilting your head from side to side, appraising you and happy with what he was seeing.  It was here you noticed it; his teeth were sharp. Some other kind of body mod to add to the arm and the piercings that dotted his face.  You couldn’t help but tremble.

“Oh now, don’t be scared.”  He purrs.  

“This is an honor, you know.” Tyreen’s voice was behind you, her hands sliding over your shoulders. “So few get the privilege of being chosen like this.”

Troy moved closer, and for one absurd moment you thought he was going to kiss you before he nudged his face under your jaw.

           You tried to jump, finally finding your voice to let out a yelp, but Tyreen’s hands kept you in place as Troy’s looped around your back.  

           “This’ll only take a second, relax…”  Her thumbs rubbed circles into your shoulders, doing little to calm you.

           “Wait- wait- “ Was all you managed to get out before he bit you.

           Troy sank his teeth into the base of your neck and shoulder, slicing through like there was no resistance.   Both of their grips tightened on you as you instinctively tried to scramble away; you were suddenly acutely aware of how easily Troy’s mechanical arm could simply crush you.  You wanted to raise your arms and push against his chest, but they were pressed tight to your sides, leaving you to squirm uselessly in his grip.

           “Shhhhh…” Tyreen soothed from above you.

           A cold feeling crept out from the bite, Troy’s teeth still in your shoulder.  Every thump of your racing heart spread the chill further, a sweeping warmth following its path and beginning to fill your arm and chest with an odd numbness.  Your breathing felt erratic, like your lungs were trying to slow down on their own accord, alternating between hyperventilating gasps and deeper breaths.  The warmth spread its way through your body, leaving slackened muscles in its wake, your shoulders falling and your frightened wriggling going still against your wishes.

           By the time Troy pulled his head away from your throat, you felt like if he let you go you’d collapse onto the floor.  You were barely able to hold your head up to see him looking you over; he was pleased.  Stark red blood stained his bottom lip, quickly erased as he ran his tongue over it.

“How do you feel, faithful?”  You could feel his voice rumble in his chest, held so close to him. His grip loosened, letting you slump slightly in his arms.

“I’m...”  Your voice was soft.  Words were lost.  You were warm.  It was nice to be held like this.

“Mmh, good.” It was almost a growl.

“Give it a few more minutes, Troy.”  Tyreen’s voice sounded like it was underwater.  She brushed your hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear.  “You don’t want to make a mess of this one if they panic.”

            “Wha…” You mumble.  

           “We ask all our followers to give their flesh to us in the form of the mark.”  Tyreen cooed, Troy gently mouthing at your branded palm as she spoke, holding your arm by the wrist. “But there is more you can do to serve us.”  Her fingertips caressed your jaw from behind, and you found yourself leaning into her hand, grateful for her touch, tilting your head up to look at her.  “Your sacrifice becomes our strength.”  The blue markings on her arm were glowing, and you felt…floaty, tired…weaker.

           “Hey, that’s mine.”  Troy rumbled.  You felt teeth baring against your wrist.

           Tyreen rolled her eyes, her hands slipping away from you and she stepped back.  

           You didn’t have the energy to shift forward and look at Troy, his mechanical hand splayed out over your back, supporting your limp body and warm from your own body heat.  He leaned in, breath hot over the still bleeding bite wound.  Troy dragged his tongue over the mark he’d made, continuing the motion up the side of your throat, a low growl of approval building in his chest.  

           “Where were you hiding?”   His lips moved against your pulse, teeth grazing the fragile skin; you’d shiver if you could manage it.  Troy nipped at your jaw a bit before he pulled away just a little.

           A dull pop sounded from him.  A content sigh.  Curiosity spurred you to tip your head forward just enough to look at him.  

           His lower jaw had split at the chin, the seams along his cheekbones opening to reveal a mouthful of too many viciously sharp teeth.  His tongue hung between the divide in his jaw, significantly longer than a human’s should be.

           You should probably be alarmed.  Scared, even.  You lean your head back again, letting your eyes drift closed.

           “There you go…”  Tyreen’s voice came from nowhere, everywhere.

           Your shoulder was cold for a moment; something had torn through your shirt.  The chill was quickly replaced by Troy’s mouth, and you felt your head gently tugged to the side to give him more room.    

           The grip around you tightened when he bit down, the siren exhaling, crushing you to him like you were going to get away.  You could feel the distinct sides of his jaw move to dig into the soft muscle, catching a little on your collarbone and raking it with a strange buzzing feeling.  Maybe this should hurt.

           You felt a groan vibrate in his chest, in your own muscle and bone.  He pulled blood from the wound for a few slow heartbeats, before removing his teeth to lick at the bite, huffing for breath.  

           “Fuck…” He panted.  At least that’s what you think he said.  A jaw like that wasn’t good for forming words.

           He lunged back in, snapping his teeth around your shoulder again with enough force to jerk you around.  He was leaning forward, holding you, bent over you, surrounding you from all sides.  Something of yours cracked, and that just seemed to encourage him.  That same draining, weak feeling that Tyreen had given you a preview of was seeping in, much more intensely this time.  You felt like you could just fall asleep, just let him take care of everything.  

           Troy chased the blood pulsing lazily from the punctures and tears he had made, dragging his tongue over the lines before they reached your clothing and soaked in.  He adjusted you, holding you easily as a doll with his prosthetic arm, moving so he could more easily reach the hem of your shirt and push it upwards.  

           He paused, nosing over your soft middle like he was savoring the moment.  His breath was hot, your own blood dripping from his mouth onto your stomach tickling. Cracking your eyes open for the first time in a while, you could see his siren markings glowing intensely, his own piercing gaze flicking up to meet yours.  With his mouth split, face so soaked in blood and monstrous, he unmistakably smiled at you, giving you a wink before sinking his head down and tearing into your middle.  It was here you passed out, only coming around to briefly to feel a rib crack and the vibrating sensation of a ravenous snarl against your insides before going under again.  

Based on all that, you were truly surprised to wake up.  

You were lying on something soft and cushiony, twisted up in a sheet.  Before your eyes had even opened, your hands darted to feel your shoulder, your torso; there a scratch to be found.  Disorientation hit you in waves the second you tried to sit up; maybe lying down for a minute was a better plan.

A laugh nearly made you jump out of your skin “Ha! are you still coming off the sedative?  Goddamn Troy how much did you give them?”

“Ehhh, might’ve gotten a little carried away.”  Okay- okay so none of that was a dream so what the fuck was-

Tyreen approached you, kneeling down to your level and trying to hold back a grin.  “You’re lucky, I really didn’t think Troy was gonna stop.  Well if you’re still out of it, that’ll make this next part a lot easier.”  

The world was still coming into focus, and none of this was helping.  You heard Troy getting up and coming closer, mismatched hands grabbing you and propping you up from behind, bringing a paralyzing shock of dizziness.  

“C’mon, you’ve heard stories about sirens healing people, haven’t you?”  He purred, your eyes squeezed shut against the room spinning.  “You’re so faithful and sweet, it would be such a shame to get rid of you.”

Tyreen had moved further away, to the other side of the room.  “You’re quite the little eridium sponge, you know that?  You must be absorbing trace amounts from the environment; it’s a wonder you aren’t falling apart from it.”

Troy was pushing the sheet off your right shoulder, exposing it. “Don’t worry though, we can help you keep it in check.”  He nuzzled under your jaw, and you could feel the grin on his face.

“But before we do anything else, we have to make sure everyone knows who you belong to.”  

You managed to open your eyes just in time to see Tyreen leaning down, holding a metal vault symbol like the one you had been branded with. It was glowing the same pale blue as her siren markings and it was…much bigger than the one on your palm.

Troy held you tight; not that you were able to struggle much yet. All you managed was leaning into him a bit, trying to back away from what was certainly going to hurt.

The siren-energized metal pressed into your skin with a hum, rather than the hiss you were expecting.  In an instant your muscles locked up like you were being electrocuted, raw energy surging through your body and choking the breath from you. Just as you thought your heart would burst, she pulled away, leaving you to slump and gasp for air in Troy’s arms.

Tyreen tilted your chin up, looking into your exhausted eyes with a sweet smile.

“You’ll be a good offering for us, won’t you?”

What choice did you have but to nod?

Tyreen all but giggled at your response, a dangerous grin lighting up her face.

“So obedient.”  Troy laughed.  “I always wanted a willing sacrifice that hasn’t lost their mind.”

Tyreen rubbed her thumb over the aching mark she’d just put on you, speaking with a soft, saccharine voice.  “Go ahead and get some rest, faithful.”  Tyreen looked to Troy.  “We’ll have to get a collar made.”  

Troy set you back down.  You just about melted onto the soft bed, too impossibly tired and sore to worry any more, asleep before they had even left.

[typometrics]

Socionics Type Portraits & Appearance (Delta)

Quadra 4: EII, LSE, SLI, IEE

Elimination of defects and bringing to perfection, mass realization of ready product, technology.

Judicious (Ne, Si) - World Accepting

Serious (Te, Fi) - Integrity Seeking

Aristocratic

EII (INFj, Fi-Ne)

EII-Fi Subtype - Adrien Brody & Carice Van Houten (Psychologist)

Polite, restrained, and impassive. Usually keeps some distance in communication, at times seems cold, firm, and unemotional. In the process of dialogue, however, this impression gradually dissipates as he begins to sympathize and shows his desire to help and assist. Serious, calm, and well-wishing person. Quite insightful but reserved and rarely shares his observations. Fastidious and tactful. Doesn't know how to joke, feels afraid of saying something in excess. During arguments prefers to leave silently without resorting to diplomacy. Very hardworking, meticulous, patient, and diligent. Intolerant of violence and injustice. Consistent and firm in his principles. Able to create comfort, decorates his home with hand-made items. Knows how to work with his hands. Pays attention to his health and appearance; in appearance is usually neat and prim. Rarely smiles. His gaze seems guarded. Dresses modestly but with taste, in presence of sufficient funds even in exquisite manner. His movements are smooth, yet constrained. His gait is quick and light, somewhat restrained, at times pattering. Sits straight and seldom gesticulates in conversation.

Unobtrusive, controlled, may be ascetic and strict towards himself and others when it comes to ethical principles. Not given to take initiative or display an interest in that which isn't connected to his interests, views, and convictions. At work is scrupulous and delayed. With him it is possible to have a talk, to pour out one's soul, to receive simple yet good and useful advice. May be spiritual or religious, or keep to some ethical system. Outward appearance - immersed info self, ascetic, tense inner life is visible in his outward look.

EII-Ne Subtype - Robert Pattinson & Cate Blanchett (Teacher)

Emotional, composed, and firm. Shows cordiality, goodwill, and friendliness toward people who are in his favor. Closing distance with a person tries to be somehow useful and of service. Likes to advise, to mentor, to educate others but only within his circle. Possesses figurative and imaginative thinking and creative abilities, can discuss various imagery, symbols, dreams. Sensitive, vulnerable, uncertain and erratic. Prone to taking offense despite his best attempts to hide this. Sometimes he likes to joke around in conversation. Tries not to say unpleasant things to people, but cannot always restrain himself and may burst out in disagreement or indignation, but comes to regret it later. Serious and fastidious, prefers to hold himself with some reserve and subtlety. Dresses simply, adhering to classical styles, often conservatively. His mimicry and gestures are weakly expressed. Speech is emotional and slightly inhibited; its tone is often didactic. Frequently has a disproportionate figure, often squat in physique and prone to corpulence. Gait may be a bit clumsy and waddling.

Feels people very well. Immediately feels who has similar views and opinions to his and who doesn't. Enjoys spending time in a small circle of like-minded people, discussing novelties in art and human sciences. Frequently appears somewhat unsure in himself and scattered. Gravitates towards social and humanitarian work, but can also work in service jobs. Realizes himself well in medicine and teaching. Able to reconcile those in a dispute and to mitigate intense situations. Creates a pleasant atmosphere in conversation and in his house. Dresses with taste, not seldom follows fashion.

LSE (ESTj, Te-Si)

LSE-Te Subtype - Robert De Niro & Radha Mitchell (Manager)

Impersonal, business-like, dry and correct in interaction. May look strict and unapproachable. Not inclined to make jokes, has a serious and constrained demeanor about him. Usually is not very talkative, but if his temper runs hot it's difficult to stop him. Direct and linear in behavior and conversation. Can be sharp and categorical in his judgments, due to which accumulates many problems of ethical nature. At another end of extreme, he may not say anything, but later build up grudges and hard feelings, and avoid interaction. Uncompromising and stubborn. Sometimes tries to predispose his conversation partner towards him by intimate tones in conversation. Does this if he himself is predisposed towards greater intimacy, or if he needs some kind of information or service. Mistrustful, secretive and suspicious. Dislikes talking about feelings. Prefers to engage himself in something useful, and to bring everything he undertakes to its completion. Constantly tense, finds it difficult to relax and discharge. He is predisposed towards sudden flashes of anger. Seems restrained in his movements.

A good worker. Does not tolerate incompetence. Well erudite in his area of work or study. Very operational, sometimes over-works and wears himself out. Considers that only in this case he can also demand more from others. Can be sharp in his judgments. Usually formulates the task very clearly and directly. In the sphere of production, he demands high quality and responsibility for the product, likes to admire what has been made, emphasizes the advantage of his goods. Realizes himself well in conditions of a stable market - in logistics, in the army. Tries to unite in his own hands the whole cycle of production. In clothing he is conservative, his priorities are cleanliness, order and functionality.

LSE-Si Subtype - Sylvester Stallone & Katharine Hepburn (Technologist)

Stability and high capacity for work. Usually energetic, he cannot sit without some task or activity, and waste his time in vain. Interested in new technologies within his field of occupation or study, knows how to adapt them to his needs. Impulsive, perseverant, and pushy, knows how to passionately persuade his partner. Demanding and strict, but sometimes gives in to persuasions. Has a sense of humor. His speech is gusty and emotional. Often, one can see a predisposing although a bit strained smile on his face. Sometimes he makes attempts to shorten the personal distance by welcoming, friendly gestures - hugs, pats, light touches of his conversation partner. Holds himself uninhibitedly, relaxed and at ease. Constructive and energetic in participating in a discussion, makes jokes. Gourmand and aesthete. Likes expensive, high quality, beautiful things and dishes. Knows how to remove strain, sitting at the table with his friends. But does not allow himself to remain inactive and at rest for long. Usually has somewhat round body shape, inclined towards corpulence. His movements are gusty, abrupt, fast and impulsive. He is quite restless.

The sensory subtype seems more relaxed, uninhibited, and flexible than the logical subtype. Usually sociable, emotional, and strives to make contact with other people. Hospitable, likes comfort, convenience, and coziness, leisure trips out to nature. Easily fulfills the roles of a technical director, manager, or distributor. Has a good sense for intermediate steps of development and production, trade and management.

SLI (ISTp, Si-Te)

SLI-Si Subtype - Chuck Norris & Annie Clark (Designer)

Composed and cordial, not demonstrative, obstinate and uncompromising in defending his views and interests. Supports his positions rationally by logic and facts, and not by thought-up or assumed accounts. Diligent, laborious, patient, persistent in his work and studies. If some project captures his interest, he will tirelessly try to improve his results, both intellectual and material. At times he needs a change of occupation, but will attempt to bring previous work to completion. From time to time he becomes contemplative, withdraws into himself, distances from his social circle, submerges into his own problems. Somewhat restricted in dialogue, may be brief and to the point, but tries to be cordial and good-natured if he feels tensions come up conversation. Prefers items that are original and of good quality, yet simple and unpretentious, enjoys handmade things. Aesthete, pays attention to his health, appearance, and figure, tries to dress tastefully. Has graciously lazy gestures, at the same time confident and precise movements. Gait is a little relaxed and springy. Doesn't like to hurry, but neither is he slow. Seems somewhat proud and haughty.

Aesthete, oriented at pleasant impressions. More easily comes into contact with other people and is more flexible than the logical subtype. More optimistic, but less disposed to performing work. Has developed refined tastes, a connoisseur and a sybarite. Gravitates towards humanitarian disciplines: literature, art, linguistics, history. Presents him/herself with pleasant aesthetics, choosing clothing and settings that emphasize his or her good looks, selecting for harmonious and complimentary tones.

SLI-Te Subtype - Hugh Grant & Jennifer Connelly (Rationalizer)

Impatient and active, loves frequent changes and new impressions. Industrious, hardworking, and very caring. His behavior is unpredictable and characterized by unexpected transitions from aloof contemplation to expedient activity. Keeps certain reserve and distance from other people, and at times can be overly direct, harsh, and inconsiderate in conversation. Very independent and proud, does as he wishes. In conversation he is prickly and ironic, but becomes friendly and shows consideration if he has sympathy and respect for his conversation partner. Noticing that he has offended someone, regrets it and softens his communication, tries to turn everything into a joke, or may even apologize and try to calm the person down. Behind his external seeming inaccessibility he is quite impressionable and vulnerable. Dislikes lack of comfort in all of its manifestations; thus strives to fix, adjust, and adapt everything for greatest convenience. Responsible, reliable, and punctual. Demanding towards himself and others. Holds himself with cold dignity, but at times he can be emotional. His gestures are impulsive, confident, resolute. Gait is quick and measured.”

“Outwardly seems business-oriented, somewhat severe, cold and unapproachable. A realist and skeptic, distrustful of novelty, and of those who advance ideas of declarative nature [slogans?]. Will always avoid working on useless projects due to pragmatic nature. Very dynamic and technologically effective. Can extract maximum benefits even from something that is seems useless. His products are always at the forefront and will stand up to any competition on the market. In clothing he is restrained, conservative, and prefers a sporty, technological style.

IEE (ENFp, Ne-Fi)

IEE-Ne Subtype - Keanu Reeves & Jennifer Love Hewitt (Adviser)

Torn away from reality, internally focused, and at the same time scattered. Inclined to unexpected contrasts in behavior: shyness and apathy are suddenly replaced by emotional elation, decisiveness, and activity, the melancholic look on his face changes to inspired and joyful. Thoughtful and impulsive, optimistic and suppressed, timid and energetic, he imparts very varied impressions on others. Internally inconsistent, vulnerable, easily offended, but hides his problems under a mask of being carefree. Tries to be friendly with everyone, strives to understand all people, to favor everyone with his smile. Attentive, soft and tactful, predisposing towards trust. Willingly delves into the problems of others, tries to find a way out of difficult position and to give useful advice. Defends his views emotionally. Can exert psychological pressure on his opposition. His movements are impulsive, not well coordinated, and somewhat angular. Gait is fast and a bit awkward. Chin is often pointed. Gaze is attentive, interrogative or surprised, penetrating and perceptive.

Very sociable, temperamental, mobile person. Initiator of many things, characterized by a lot of restlessness and changeability. Very creative person, but at times he is scattered and lacks discipline. Capable of pouring out his dissatisfaction on his superiors, does not take relations of subordination into account. Outwardly, frequently has full rounded forms. In clothing can be demonstrative, bright, even gaudy.

IEE-Fi Subtype - Matthew Fox & Carrie Fisher (Improviser)

Artistic, impatient, a little extravagant. Unpredictable in his actions and statements. Like to surprise or entertain people around him, and even insignificant events present as big sensations. Frequently becomes the soul of the company: he is self-assured, has a good sense of humor, independent, original, and very impulsive. Characterized by a kind of sincerity and spontaneity similar to a small child who doesn't hide his feelings. Can create familiar, homelike environment for communication even with unfamiliar to him people. Readily gives compliments, voices his admirations of people around him. Optimistic and amiable. Charming and coquettish, but too direct and rash in his statements and actions. This creates an impression of seeming availability or theatricality. At times assertive and pushy, periodically becomes focused. Looks directly at someone, attentively, not blinking. Movements are sharp and decisive. Gait is rapid and directed, assured, although somewhat angular. Often has a somewhat round face. Likes to dress originally, with taste, to impress others and to be liked by them.

Sees in other people hidden desires, inclination, and attachments. Prefers to work at a short psychological distance, unlike the intuitive subtype. Likes giving advice, gravitates towards psychoanalysis, in this case counting on manifestation of positive qualities in people. Can stand up for others, defend their interests, but finds it more difficult to stand up for himself. Outwardly is often somewhat thin and elegant. Prefers free sitting clothes and soft tones.

(source)

[lookslikechill]

Emotional Cocktail Tag

Tagged by: @metaphors-and-melodrama Thank you so much!!

Rules: Match from the list below one emotion from each taste to each character in your WIP and describe why:

Sweet: Intelligence - Reason - Love - Hope - Confidence - Delight - Curiosity - Patience - Kindness - Courage - Peace - Humility - Awe

Salty: Fear - Anger - Pride - Obsession - Envy - Regret - Shame - Guilt - Disappointment - Cynicism - Naivety - Emotion - Contempt

Spicy: Dominance - Submission (just a funny little extra taste for those who prefer it ;) )

I’m just gonna do this with my main four (surprise, Miles has been moved up to main character status!).

Quick warning for implied abuse and brief talk of sexual activity/behavior.  

Clay S. Calloway

Sweet- Intelligence

Clay is pretty sharp, and also performed well when he was in school.  He is good at noticing details in a scene, case, or situation, but isn’t quite as adept at reading and interpreting other people.  He is good at adapting his behavior to suit various situations- Serious-faced Law Enforcer Clay vs. Goofy, Loud, Grinning I’m-with-coworkers Clay.

Salty- Pride

He is very confident and charismatic, and, as an extension, rather prideful.  He likes to be liked and subconsciously expects respect.

Spicy- Dominance

Clay is a natural leader.  As a kid, he was typically the one who got things rolling among his friends and suggested all the outlandish schemes.  As an adult in a high positions among the Enforcers,  he heads off cases with a calm sense of control and directs his coworkers with confidence.

In bed, he is dominant and has no problem taking control, unless the other person wants to, in which case he can lay back and lay off.

Alistair J. Sheep

Sweet- Courage

Alistair experiences a lot of fear, paranoia, and anxiety, and while there are many places in his life where he bends to their will, there are also many where he grits his teeth and shoves through it.  He’s a fighter and a soldier, capable of defending himself despite the holes in his armor and the limited use of his right leg.  

Salty- Cynicism

That fear, paranoia, and anxiety, result in a lot of wariness and a standoffish disposition.  Alistair is difficult to befriend as he often outright avoids and prevents bonding with other people, and views them with great suspicion.  Why would they want to know anything about him?  What did they want?  What did they know? Who was watching?

Spicy- Submission

While he’s rough and sharp-tongued and full of resistence normally, Alistair is almost aggressively submissive in the bedroom.  He throws himself down and demands to be pressed into the floor and treated roughly.

Quince B. Heller

Sweet- Patience

Quince has always been a patient person, willing to sit and wait for something to happen or to hear anybody out.  He rarely gets irritable regarding delays or somebody taking too long.  He enjoys stillness and quiet.  

Salty- Naivety

Quince is naive in that, at least at the beginning of DW, he still believes Felicity will change and doesn’t fully grasp what is happening to him and has been happening to him for the duration of their relationship, really.  He’s in denial, and lacks self awareness.  In fact, he lacks a sense of identity and simply ghosts through his day to day life, often in an alcoholic haze.  

Spicy- Submission

Unfortunately, the trait of “patience” has been pushed to the extreme during his years of marriage to Felicity, as he is hardly capable of standing up for himself at all or resisting the will of others.

Miles J. Crawford

Sweet- Kindness

Miles is very kind, compassionate, and gentle.  Unlike Alistair, he is open, laidback, and easy to befriend.  He often does things especially for other people, but normally people he is especially close to.

Salty- Emotion

He is what some would consider soft, and it does have the potential to bite him in the rear end.  He is likely to give people second, third, or even fourth chances, making him more likely to get hurt in the long run.  He prefers to avoid hurting people so may attempt to go for courses of action that might not harm others even emotionally, but also might not be effective in the long-run regardless.  

Spicy- Dominance

Miles has a calm, mild sense of control about him.  He is decisive, takes action, and is often an effective mediator among his coworkers and friends.  (Plus he eagerly fills the role Alistair desires him to play.)

Tagging: @transboywrites @requiemesque @knightsofeclipse @writingonesdreams @cawolters @thecadmiuminkwell

And tagging the rest of the DW taglist since this is the first actual description of Miles I’ve posted here: @agnesfagen @the-real-rg @balletshoe-punk @lie-hart