#and they have no documentation and all of their shit is outdated and don't even get me started on their active directory. it's a MESS

[donedyke]

i kind of hate my job like i like helping people with their computers but sometimes i'm like can't we just shoot the computer. like with a gun

[sugar-plum-writer]

Company Cam-Girl <3

Tags: Gang-bang [Toji, Sukuna, Gojo and Suguru]; Use of toys [vibrator]; slight-bondage; size-kink; camera; public-exposure; nsfw + more nsfw; porn with slight plot; manhandling; unprotected sex; spanking; over-stimulation; cream pie; c*mplay; rough sex; lot's and lot's of very dirty talk; explicit; MNDI!; (18+); smut

A/n: This is probably the most explicit thing I might have written; my hazy imagination is getting too much. This period is killing me so it's just pure filth, this is pure porn with a little plot so MDNI!

Synopsis: What happens when a slight back talk results in getting railed and over stimulated like crazy by 4 big men in the sex-toy company?

Word count: 2.6k

[Pic not mine I randomly found it on the internet; I'll change it the owner requests ]

Your heels clicked on the floor as you walked, the place you worked was- explicit to say the least. You would have never expected to work in a company like this when you graduated- literally; a sex toy manufacturing company? beyond your wildest dreams

You were working here all because of pure desperation. Broke with college debts does not make life easy. The position gave good pay, insurance, good bonus, what else could you ask for? hence you continued working.

You worked in the marketing department which was a headache as it sometimes made you wonder how to advertise certain devices.

"Y/n- the manager is calling you to discuss the latest high-intensity vibrator ad!", one of your colleagues yelled giving you the papers and walking away

You looked at the paper which outlined the build, the components, the types of intensity, movements, etc normal people would look away and even be embarrassed but- after a while, it became average to you like another Tuesday.

"Alright, tell him I'll be there, " you yelled, browsing the pages as you entered the office.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"This design is so outdated… we need a new design-", Suguru muttered as he sat at his desk scrolling annoyed, the cigarette hanging off his lips

Toji clicked his tongue as he leaned back on his chair, "Damn if only we could experiment it on someone and record everything down", his deep voice sent a shiver down your spine

"I could always get a hook-up to try it out~", Gojo muttered with a smirk, "I don't mind"

"You fools", Sukuna scorned, "A hook-up won't give accurate data- her fucking brain will just be mushy, ask any questions-", he rolled his eyes, "her replies will just be fucking moans"

"Don't any of you have a girlfriend or somethin'?", Toji groaned as he grabbed his beer bottle, drowning it down, "You can get her and we can experiment"

"Nah- I asked my ex once she nearly threw a god-damn vase at my face", chuckling Gojo scrolled through his phone

"Ah, shit-"

With a groan, they collectively sighed. The atmosphere in the room was tense- after all, they were your superiors, you were just a mere girl from the PR department

"um- excuse me", clenching the papers tight you looked at them all, "T-The documents have an error-", you tried to keep your voice stable

"Oh shut up woman", Sukuna glared as he walked towards you, "Can't you read the room? or are you senseless?"

"Huh-?", rage-filled your veins, you were already annoyed with overwork- been working so hard not to let it get to you but this- this was the last straw.

"You are the senseless one!", you snapped back, "You assholes can't even design a vibrator properly! Look at you discussing this shit!", you scorned and shoved the paper on Sukunas face as you glared at the others

"What did you just say you fucking bitch-", Sukuna grabbed your jaw pinning you against the wall

"You deaf?", glaring into his eyes you scoffed, "I said you assholes cannot even design a fucking vibrator"

"Yo, calm down", Gojo yelled as he made his way towards you and Sukuna

"Fuck off-", his grip on you tightened choking you

"What a pain in the ass", Toji grabbed Sukuna with Suguru and pulled him back

"Tch", groaning he let go of you while Gojo picked up the fallen papers

"You alright?", Sugurus eyes locked with yours- something about his cold black eyes- gave you goosebumps all over your skin

"Y-Yeah" Gasping for air you coughed as you looked at Sukuna who was starting to calm down more

"You said we can't design a vibrator, right?" Toji smirked with a dangerous glint in his eyes

"Y-Yeah..", You backed away afraid. Something about his expression makes you instinctively back away as if your body subconsciously tried to protect itself

"Why not be our test subject? we lacked one anyways~", with a sneer he leaned in. The atmosphere in the room changed as all eyes were on you.

"Your fool brain finally came up with a good idea", grinning Sukuna fixed his blazer, "What do you say woman? or are you too scared?"

"W-What!? no way never!", you immediately shook your head shaking it crazily

"Awwww come on~ it'll be fun I promise!", Gojo nudged you wrapping his arm around your shoulder

"No way!", slapping his hand away you glared

"See you said we can't design good vibrators", putting out the cigarette in his mouth Suguru shrugged, "Have you ever even used one of our vibrators to know if it's bad? ever cummed dripping wet?"

You blushed hard, "W-what explicit nonsense are you even saying!?", shoving the papers on his face you scowled

"Oh~ is someone scared?" smugly Sukuna leaned in and whispered near your ears, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine

"N-No I'm not! It's just a vibrator!", shoving him away you tried to push the men away

"Great!", standing behind you Gojo wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you close, "I'll even let you try out my new designs baby~"

"Hey! Bun-head, grab the newest vibrators and bring them here", Sukuna yelled, "We found a pussy to try it on!" he chuckled deviously

"What-!?" before you could say anything Toji cut you off, "Bring some lube too, I just know she's tight as fuck", smirking he looked into your eyes

"Alright, alright- I'll even bring a camera to record it. Need the data", with this- Suguru went to get all the items whistling

All while you stood stunned- how did you even end up like this? How did a small comeback develop to- well- this?!

"You did it to yourself, baby girl, ~ if only you hadn't opened that darn mouth of yours", with a chuckle Gojo whispered near your ears

"oh well, I'll look after you well~"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Is the Pussy visible?" Gojo leaned in as he looked at the screen of the camera

"Yeah, just gotta zoom in more", Suguru adjusted the camera, the RBG ratio, etc as he zoomed in

With your legs spread apart on Sukunas desk- your panties are removed as your cunt's all visible in the camera. Rather than an office it looked like a porn production set.

"Hm…she's tight", Toji looked at your cunt, "I wonder when's the last time she got fucked", Sukuna muttered

"Shut up!? what the fuck do you think you are even saying-", embarrassed you looked at both of them annoyed, "Just by looking at my- my pussy you think you can say such things?"

"Doll, I have seen enough to know what pussy has not been fucked and how well it was fucked", chuckling Sukuna smirked

Hearing Sukuna's comment Toji, Gojo and Suguru snickered

"Damn right", smiling smugly Suguru stood up and walked towards you

"You-", too stunned to speak you just lower your head, "How can they say such things!?" you think as you take a sharp breath blushing; almost embarrassed with the explicitness but it was low-key hot.

You hated to admit it but you were aroused as fuck. The cool air brushed against your cunt making the walls quiver, 4 hot guys gazing at you as they discuss what's the best way to record your pussy holding vibrators in the office. It made you get even more wet with your cunt oozing out and dripping, making a mess on Sukuna's desk.

"Look she's already dripping and making a mess how cute~ how needy", Gojo chuckled

"Well can't leave her like this can we?" with a smirk rolling up his sleeves Sukuna started circling his fingers around your clitoris- flicking it a bit making you gasp

"W-wait!" trying to stabilize yourself at the sudden wave of pleasure you try to focus elsewhere, your hands and body trembled at the way he abused your clitoris

"Where's your mind goin'?" Toji cups your breasts and starts kneading them, pinching and flicking the nipples making you squirm and moan

"T-Toji wait ah-" your eyes widen as your feel Sukunas fingers do deeper stretching you out ruthlessly, "She's tight- Fuck", he gritted his teeth

Tossing your head back you try to cover your mouth but it was instantly pulled away by Toji, "Can't have you cover your mouth now can we sweetheart?", smugly he pulled your shirt up and tied your hands with it

"Nice boobs you got here", Gojo brushed his hand against your breasts, fondling them, "I wonder how hard the nipples can get heh~", smirking he brought his lips closer to your nipples and started sucking on them making you moan even louder, "Gojo- ah! 'tis too much wait-!" earning only a chuckle from him as he sucked even harder biting it

"The Vibrator No 1 is ready~ let's see how well you take it darling", smirking Suguru stood beside Sukuna- turning the vibrator on and putting it down on your cunt grinding it, the movements so good you felt you were on cloud 9; while Sukuna continued to move his fingers deeper stretching you out.

"Smile for the camera doll", smirking Sukuna slapped your pussy which stinged a bit but also made you so fucking wet it was embarrassing

The intense stimulation from the vibrator immediately made you arch your back, toss your head back and let out the loudest moans you could muster, it was stimulating- too stimulating.

It was too much- your poor pussy could not stand so much abuse. It was all puffy, sobbing wet, begging for mercy as it dripped and oozed pre-cum. Tears stained your cheeks as you whined and moaned

Your breasts were off even worse, the biting and sucking of Gojo had swollen your nipples so much. The bite marks covering your breasts stung but also gave you so much pleasure wanting more

"Fuck- who knew we had such a natural cam-girl?", licking his lips Toji just watched your expressions hungrily wanting to devour you

"I know right? Should have fucked her and filled her up first", chuckling Suguru increased the intensity of the vibrator to it's highest limit making you gasp and moan, squirm all at once, "Let's see how loud she can scream eh?"

"Oh my God! it's too much ah-" tossing your head back you squeezed your thighs shut as your eyes rolled back and you climaxed instantly because of the intensity

"Stay still, how bratty", slapping your thighs Sukuna spread your legs open forcefully holding them down, his fingers covered in your release, "Heh- who said the vibrator was bad huh? look at the amount of cum", smirking he licked it off his fingers making you blush harder and be even wetter.

"D-Don't-!" you frantically tried to wipe your cum off his fingers too bad Toji held your arms down all tied up

"I wanna taste some too~", licking his lips smugly Gojo with a quick movement shoved his fingers inside your cunt and licked it

"How sweet I can eat her out forever~ Try some Suguru"

"Oh don't mind if I do~"

Seeing them taste your cum from their fingers made you almost lose your mind and your brain felt mushy. The camera still recording everything that they were doing to you. It was so crazy

"Hah- finally stretched out, what a good fucking pussy", Sukuna smirked satisfied

"We can finally put the vibrator in~ shall we put two?", Gojo chuckled as he gazed at your cunt

"I think she can take it~" smugly Toji looked you in the eyes, "She's such a good girl after all. Aren't you baby?"

"Well" with a sneer Suguru finally put the vibrator inside you with the highest intensity, "Let's see what she can do, go at it girl show what you got~"

Hungrily they all gazed at you, their eyes those of starving wolves who wanted to completely devour you, fill you up- breed you so fucking well like the way you deserve. You had no idea what a raging boner they had seeing you and your cunt.

"Oh my god- ah- hah~", moaning you squirm as the vibrator continued to hit all the right spots- making your whole body-shake, your walls clenching so tight- holding on for dear life; "Fuck it's so good!", biting your lips you closed your eyes as you felt your brain going numb.

It felt like it was designed specifically for you, the way it hit your G-spot was driving you mad. It kept pushing you over the edge again and again.

"Shit", biting his lips Sukuna approached you, his hard-on evident, bulging fully, so big it made you wonder if it would even fit.

"Moaning like a whore just from a mere vibrator", unbuckling his pants he removed the vibrator making you sequel and whimper

"Guy's let's give her the best fuck of her life shall we?", smirking he positioned himself to your entrance and slammed in without warning, doing deep, hard and fast thrusts- hitting your G-spot again and again

"Fuck, so good, shit how was I missing out on such good pussy"

The vibrator already broke your brain in the beginning and now feeling Sukuna fuck you, so big- so hard- filling you up so well drove you even more over the edge. Your throat had gone dry from all the moaning

Toji, Gojo and Suguru also unable to keep their hand to themselves any longer; unbuckled their belts with their hard on started jerking off standing beside you, letting out grunts and moans imagining fucking you. Making you suck on their dicks like the good girl you were.

Seeing how big they all were you wondered how your poor cunt will ever be able to take them all inside.

Your vision was going white with all the pleasure as you clenched around Sukuna's dick, squeezing him so tight he tossed his head back pussy drunk just wanting to feel you all around him.

You don't know many hours went by all you know is they all took their turns fucking you- in all positions, filling you up with their cum; praising you and telling how much of a good girl you are, how well you are taking them.

You were fully- completely knocked out and brain fucked. The office fully messy from the desk to the couch and all vibrators gone.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next moment you wake up, sharp pain shoots up and down your body as you groan.

"Oh look who woke up, our cam-girl", chucking Toji sat beside you while the others crowded around you

That's when everything hit you all at once and you look down finding yourself completely and utterly naked.

"You took us all in so well baby~ my dicks never been more satisfied", Gojo lifted you making you sit on his lap and kissed your neck

"S-Shut up! I need to go!" you blushed hard and tried to stand up but tripped

"What a brat, you really think you can stand? how annoying, you were better brain fucked", Sukuna immediately grabs you supporting you to not fall

"You!-" feeling your blood boil you immediately try to open your mouth to yell all kinds of profanities

"Oh she's awake", Suguru entered the room smirking, "Still naked is she? are we going for another round? Because I am down"

"I'll die if we do another round!?" in panic you look at them all in the eyes earning a chuckle and a light slap on your ass from Sukuna making you whine

"Shut up you aren't going anywhere from today onwards you are our girl"

"Huh!?", you gasp in shock

"Everything we did is recorded", Gojo chuckled grinning, "Suguru even finished processing it darling~ thank you for your-", he tossed a vibrator to you and winked, "lovely data"

You stand utterly stunned knowing there is no way out from this, they'll eat you alive whenever they please. You are officially the company's cam-girl and test-subject.

Congrats on your promotion~ <3

My Masterlist!

[trud-hub]

Personality HCs for TRUD!C00lk1dd:

for anyone confused, this isnt the forsaken vers

(im pretty sure 99.9% of my speculations aren't canon, and this makes no sense, and i need to work on my requests, but let me have my fun damn it!! I LOVE CHARACTER ANALYSES!!!!!!!!)

btw warning fkr some swears

C00lk1dd:

I think it would be interesting if C00lk1dd's old backstory was kept with some changes, but he retains his current personality

Judging by his new voicelines, C00lk1dd is deranged (how he laughs), crass (in the 3 voicelines he has, he swears in 2 of them), and spiteful ("I got you, you STUPID boink")

Assuming that Bloodmoon's mechanics remain unchanged in the big 4.0 because of the voiceline, that would mean that C00lk1dd still has his short temper. In the now outdated Google Document of his original personality, his Bloodmoon ability is activated when he isn't able to down survivors

So C00lk1dd is vulgar, insane, spiteful, and irritable. Great. But if we're keeping his old backstory, how did this gentle soul turn into such a psychotic monster?

Amnesia and the Xploit.

Amnesia doesn't alter your personality traits, but it does change your behavior. Let's say C00lk1dd has already had anger issues before, but he's managed to keep them under control unlike in the present. What could be the root of his anger issues?

In the wiki, it's said that C00lk1dd crashed out because of Builderman's harshness and his friend unjust termination. Could this imply that he has a strong sense of justice?

Maybe it's this moral compass of his that makes C00lk1dd so angry all the time. The wiki mentioned that C00lk1dd has ADHD. I did some googling and found out that people with ADHD have heightened justice sensitivity (correct me if i'm wrong, i dont have ADHD myself)

Justice sensitivity essentially means one is sensitive to perceived injustices. They react emotionally to it, they obsess over it, and they have an urge to undo or fix it (source)

Which is why I don't think C00lk1dd would let people trample all over him. Despite his gentleness, he still has the resolve to do what is right (i hate how i neglected this in my first c00lk1dd headcanons post... stop reading that shit guys please its so bad)

But this might be what makes him reckless. Why do I think he's reckless? He immediately resorted to hacking to get vengeance for his friend. Can't he try appealing their ban first? You know, talk it out with the admins?

No. He makes an executor and starts hacking right away. Go king!

Although recklessness is an interesting trait for him to have, this contradicts C00lk1dd's justice sensitivity. Why would he solve injustice with even more injustice? That's not fair — by hacking, he drags innocent people into this mess all to avenge one person

I'd like to think he at least tried to bring up this issue with the admins peacefully before resorting to drastic measures

Which is where, instead of John Doe, 1x1x1x1 comes in. I've heard somewhere on the discord server that, in the new lore, 1x1x1x1 had given the killers a deal they couldn't refuse. When all other options had been exhausted, 1x comes in like a knight in shining armor

I know that past C00lk1dd would never accept the deal had he known the full extent of it. So what if 1x1x1x1 manipulated him into thinking he could ? Spun some lies — left a few details out. Past C00lk1dd may not be cruel, but he sure is desperate and reckless. The admins won't listen to him, his friend won't come back, what else is there to do? Moving on is off the table of course

And so, he joins. Worst decision of his life

The Xploit messed up his brain, stripping him of all rationale. It strengthens his desire for vengeance, but he forgets the reason behind it. All he remembers is this anger within him that refuses to die down, making him constantly angry

Now, C00lk1dd fights for a cause long deceased. He probably lies to himself often after each round, telling himself that the survivors all deserved their fates

Deep down, he slowly starts doubting it

ok goodnight guys i sleep take care of urselves 🫶

i might do more for the other killers. id love to hear ur opinions on this

[twee-lil-paws]

TWAMBLES!!!

It's utterly fascinating to me how easily internet history is forgotten. I guess it's just starting to dawn on me that all of the things I enjoyed as a kid are now outdated and gone.

2005 is as close to us now as 1985 was to 2005. If you wanted to look up the evolution of music videos & the rise of MTV from the 80s through the 00s that shit is incredibly well documented. However, talking about the first ever Let's Players and the entire evolution of that genre of content from the Something Awful forums to the then brand new video-based platform of YouTube is shit that is just completely lost unless you actively talk to someone who lived through it & knew where to look at the time.

Webcomics, a former bastian of internet culture across multiple different fandoms, is now relegated to the heavily censored and stuffed full with bland and samey content over on Tapas and Webtoon. You literally cannot get anyone to even glance at your personal website these days. No one remembers what an RSS feed is. Unless you spoon feed your content to your audience on one of the many social media apps, your art will literally remain completely unknown (and god forbid your content isn't derivative of some larger media company and is actually "Original"). Oh and not pick the wrong social media platform to establish yourself on, bc if it goes under or you get randomly banned bc the owner is pulling a Lotax, you're basically starting over from ground zero again.

We even already TRIED the whole "each company has its own app you need to access literally anything from them." shit back in the 90s, which is why we had the fucking dot com bubble in the FIRST PLACE BC PEOPLE HATED HAVING SOFTWARE FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING.

*cough* I'm good. ugh... I guess I've always been interested in the concept of history repeating. How when the previous generation(s) fail to convey the lessons they learned to the next, they're doomed to try the same zeitgeist solutions and fall for the same pitfalls. Forgetting the solutions that worked bc things that work get ignored in favor of other pressing problems at the time. I learned so much about anti-establishment protesting tactics by reading up on previous movements around the world, and it boggles my mind how these solutions don't even occur to modern organizations. I had assumed that in an age where information is the most accessible it ever was that the percentage of the population that actually takes that information into account would increase, but that hypothesis seems moot when the flow of information is offuscated by moving paradigms.

I practically never get any interaction on these ramble posts, but I wanna try something on the off chance this one clicks with someone: tell me about something in recent history that you think most people have already forgotten.

[spaceacerat]

Hearing people talk about "Well in places with free healthcare, they have to wait to be seen!" and I'm just. Yeah? Gotta wait for appointments in the US too, and pay out the ass for it even if they don't do anything and say they cant/won't help you.

Chronically ill/disabled people and poor people are especially screwed over in the states, trying to see specialists is a special kinda hell and some won't even write referrals to let you go to one if they're particularly dickish and think they know more than someone about their own body. I know people who told their families to just let them die rather than go into debt at a hospital because they wouldn't be able to afford it, me and my family included before I was able to get medicaid from moving to a blue state. My own dad said to just let him die if he collapses.

And the stereotype of southern people missing teeth? It's because the poorer ones can't afford dentists or dentures, or don't have the time to get it between their multiple jobs/childcare, or have no way to get to one because there's no transportation. Multiple friends and family of mine have had to pull out their own rotten or bad teeth, it's painful to watch. Got a friend in their late 20s who already had to pull two, even though they try to take great care of them.

Healthcare in the US is shit for a lot of people, expensive if you can even afford it, and if you're poor or disabled and live in a state where they won't give you disability or medicaid/Medicare because of lack of documentation (you know, because you can't see the doctor and afford to get tests done to prove you're disabled, because you're poor and don't have the resources or ability to jump through all the hoops) goooood luck. Even if you get medicaid/Medicare, the list of doctors you can see is highly likely to be outdated all of the time and you have to hunt for someone. It's. Infuriating.

[teriyakichop]

"with her whole chest"

And right when I tell people to stop poking the bear, right when I try to be at peace...you sensationalist motherfuckers just LOVE to keep shit going. So, let this marinate through your thick fucking skulls. Hey, Anonymous! It sucks that it burns you so badly that new members join First Vindicaar Templari. Well, you're soon gonna be a chunk of brimstone because First Vindicaar Templari continues to grow, continues to thrive, and continues to move on. You know why? Because the allegations against us, WERE. NOT. TRUE. You know why we don't run? You know why we don't hide? You know why we don't dodge? You know why we continue to grow? BECAUSE. THE. ALLEGATIONS. WERE. NOT. TRUE. I've already debunked it. The people that needed to see the truth have seen it, and we're THRIVING. You guys are arguing about outdated intel. I strongly advise that you get up to date. @spinesubs. I didn't indoctrinate anyone. The reason why when you show them "evidence" of what is going on they tell you that you're harassing them and they block you, is VERY simple. You show them a document that has "Evidence" and then I show them ANOTHER document that DEBUNKS your "evidence." The difference is, in MY document, I use YOUR "evidence" as proof that what you idiots claim to be true, is actually false. OTHERWISE, I tell them "The door is right there, if you want to leave, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." And guess what? They stay. They recommend their friends to join, and then their friends join, and they love it in the Templari. You know why? Because we're a guild of adults. We know bullshit when it happens, and the allegations and "evidence" was proven to be bullshit. Here's a tip: JUST because YOU think nothing is happening in the background, doesn't mean we aren't making moves and taking action. And finally, @superspecialsecretassignment, as I said to everyone, IF the allegations were TRUE, players would be GONE. But the allegations were NOT true. Yet y'all probably want me to punish players for something they didn't do. That's not how justice works. That's not how "innocent until proven guilty" works. With the "evidence" that was held against us, there is not a single Lawyer in the United States that would incriminate, prosecute, or even DEFEND the evidence y'all have against us, because the second they see MY document, they're going to realize that they are in a world of shit. And the hilarious part of all of this is, you guys claim anyone and everyone to be a pedo, and the INVERSE effect happens, where NO ONE is a Pedo, and ACTUAL Pedos slip through the cracks! Your case actually hurts YOUR argument, and makes MY CASE STRONGER! It never dawned on any of you to say to yourselves "Hey, Maybe Yuliyrel has something. I should befriend her and see if she would let me see her debunking document." --but nope, your pride won't let you do that. It's too much for you to cope with the fact that you all got taken for suckers! A cruel joke was played on y'all at your own expense and First Vindicaar Templari is not only still standing, but doing well. And one last thing to you sensationalists. You'll sit here and wish that Draenei RP wasn't so dire. Sucks to be you, because First Vindicaar Templari doesn't have that problem. We CREATE WONDERFUL Draenei themed RP, and we would LOVE to have you all come along for the ride and enjoy what we have to offer. Unfortunately, your pride gets in the way. We'll leave the light on for y'all. We have some AWESOME Draenei themed RP events coming in 2025. <3

[ambyandony]

Monster AU - Monster Taxonomy [P2]

[P2: Human-Adjacent Species]

((OUTDATED))

oh and please dont get me started on hybrids like . theyre like a whole different thing

First up, I want to try to tackle species that are adjacent to humans; not just species that look very human, but species that more or less actually exist near humans taxonomically.

So this includes (some) turned Vampires and Ghosts (I'll get to werewolves later), and I know that sounds fucking ridiculous because I have just listed The Undead, Like, People Who Have Died and yeah. That's kinda the idea of them being human-adjacent because they... kind of are humans. Or they were human, once. Also, like lycanthropy, being fucking undead isn't necessarily a human-only thing. This is only really for human ghosts and vampires.

It's a bit complicated; it's hard to say if, cryptoscientifically, they're actually 'species' of their own, due to the aforementioned factors; again, I know it sounds ridiculous to classify fucking GHOSTS as a different species, but the problem is that there are different kinds of ghosts and that's even just the human ones. And those need to be classified, at least to an extent. I'd say 'scientifically' these are just 'kinds' of 'humans', but that's because 'monster' science and cryptobiology are insanely different beasts than what non-monster orthoscientific[1] fields really cover and they don't have procedures in place for this shit. But documentation of this 'pseudoscience' has to start somewhere.

Taxonomically speaking, my options to classify (human) vampires and ghosts are as subspecies of humans, as a subgenus of the Homo genus, or as species in the Homo genus. Either way, we know this means they're in the genus Homo, and due to the need to further classify them, I'd possibly call them... "species"... but imagine I'm saying that through gritted teeth and squinting eyes to convey dubious legitimacy of my scientific study as expressed by my peers in the greater scientific community

I may get every single Latin gender-tense word agreement wrong . brother i can barely speak italian in italy. but I'm trying ok. i tried looking it up also and didnt get much clarification

For human-turned-vampires, an adjacent species in the genus Homo, my instinct is to call them Homo sanguinarius. What with the blood-drinking being the primary distinguishing factor of vampires and all. Kinda what defines the whole species, which I'd call Sanguisuges or haematophages; the word 'vampire' is more common to describe the whole species, but, like 'werewolf', it's actually probably just one subspecies denoting the traditional western vampire... those ones just got popular in media, so now all blood-drinkers are 'vampires'. Different kinds of sanguisuges with distinct enough traits from each other (vampires, strigoi, possibly shtriga, lugat, etc) are considered subspecies.

As for human ghosts, I initially considered them as moreso a subspecies (although they technically don't fit the stipulations that make a subspecies a subspecies as they generally cannot reproduce), and called them Homo sapiens morsareliquarium (from mors ("dead") and reliquiae/reliquum ("remnant") so they're "remnants of death") while normal humans would be Homo sapiens sapiens and Danny Phantom would be some third, more mysterious thing

But I changed my mind due to, again, the need to classify further, and I only left that last paragraph in for the Danny Phantom joke, because comedy is the most important thing to me.

Once I'd started to go with 'species', I classified human ghosts as Homo morsareliquarium, and, naturally, all distinct types of ghosts (wraiths, spectres, yurei, onryo, etc) would be subspecies. For example, I think that something like an onryo (originating from Japanese folklore and described as a vengeful spirit who became a ghost because they had, in some way, been wronged in life) could be called something like Homo morsareliquarium vindicta. Very likely that's what Reimi is.

But wait, it gets worse: on re-evaluation, I have considered these 'species' to be more of a subgenus, which, at least, I will use to justify possibly dropping the 'Homo' part of the names (not standard procedure). Thus, you could call the "onryo" Morsareliquarium vindicta, which does still exist within the Homo genus but more clearly distinguishes that these are broad categories and not variants on an individual.

I needed someone to represent each mentioned subgenus of the Homo genus for this post and while I could have just gone with whichever three people came to mind first I remembered that there's one of each in La Squadra! So I put them in the silly little chart and this surely wont result in misfortune for me

Illuso, Pesci and Risotto are a ghost, a human and a vampire respectively. Also, Pesci is the only human in the entire group and he's literally just a guy. he's so confused

Illuso is specifically a 'mirror ghost', which is popular enough to be a ghost trope but not specific enough to have a Wikipedia page or any specific non-individual examples (sorry, Bloody Mary), so I gotta freestyle a little. In any case, a mirror ghost is a ghost that can generally only manifest in reflections, specifically mirrors, for which I'll go with H. morsareliquarium captispecula (combining 'capti' (trapped) and 'speculum' (mirror), so it's a ghost that's "trapped in a mirror").

An aside: mirror ghosts generally can't manifest visibly outside of a reflection, so while Illuso can leave the mirror, most of the time he can't be seen outside of It. But he still has a reflection, and Man in the Mirror follows normal Stand visibility rules. He spends most of his time in the mirror world ((which obviously is just fantasy or a fairy tale there is no such thing as a world inside of a mirror)) where, not only can he manifest visibly, but - thanks to it being his Stand - he can manifest physically as well. Anyone else inside of the mirror world would be able to interact with him as if he were a living person.

I've got a few things to say about Risotto, whom I labelled as a Dhampir on something I drew a while back. The dhampir originates in Balkan folklore, and from my research (I mostly just looked at Wikipedia for the general outline initially), it seems that it is the offspring of a human and a vampire; however, I'm classifying them as a kind of vampire as they're the offspring of vampires with very specific traits, who don't seem to have a name distinct from "vampire", but don't quite fit the description of "traditional" vampires. So just know that while technically a hybrid, this species' nomenclature would refer to the parent.

Now, quick sidetrack; according to Wikipedia... and absolutely no other source I could track down (the literal source listed on Wikipedia doesn't mention this anywhere, I can't find any other mythological resources that say this, and my Element Encyclopaedia of Magical Creatures doesn't even mention dhampirs, the bastards)...what seems to set Dhampirs aside from normal vampires most prominently is that their blood is acidic to normal vampires and can melt any part of a vampire.

But... I was unable to back this detail up because I can't find a non-Wikipedia source that says this (like, not even the D&D sources, just, nothing. Which sucks because I was really hoping I could confirm this because I was thinking it would be so cool with Metallica's whole blood thing), so it appears to have been completely made up by some jackass editing the page. That detail has now been removed from the Wikipedia article after I brought up the lack of source.

So other than that, I guess their particularly distinguishing factor (this applies to the vampiric parent, thus setting them apart from other vampires) is their supposed lack of bones (noodle moment), which apparently contributes to a typically short lifespan and a soft body.

Um. Small problem. Any being without bones can't be in the genus Homo because it's... it's an invertebrate. If we're to believe that dhampirs have no bones... they are not in the Vertabrata subphylum. Despite the fact that they have a human parent.

Look, I think vampire [sub]species should probably be its own separate post.

These are a little complicated because of their automatic proximity to humans. I was considering including things like angels and demons but I think those are... to the left more. Like... way to the left.

[1]: orthoscience is real-life actual science aka the opposite of pseudoscience. This is not a real-life, like, pre-existing, accepted or generally known word because I made it the fuck up for my own purposes and whatnot.

[Update Jan 18 2024: Reconsidered and revised details]

You can always ask me about my Monster AU and my notes!

[skaruresonic]

The reason I get excited at being able to implement even small functions in RenPy is because whenever I try to follow a cookbook or tutorial: = The information is outdated, and I don't realize this until I get errors trying to execute the code. Much of the documentation that exists is obsolete by now, and RenPy is always updating the syntax it will accept. So you can have code that works for version 7.1.1 if you "word" the code right, but not work for version 8.1.1 because the newer version changed how you express the function. = The tutorial-maker made a mistake or neglected to establish an important variable early on, and you only realize it 5 forum thread posts later when they're like "teehee disregard what I just said, this is the correct code" = The code is poorly-written. Nobody in this Chili's fucking indents their shit. Also y'all need to comment out code with TWO pound signs, not one.

= I keep getting syntax errors because it's like 3 AM and I don't realize I forgot a single quotation mark. = It turns out the function I need to manipulate is a piece of code in screens.rpy or gui.rpy, or both, or neither, or it needs to be defined in the script as well. Nobody tells you where to put init:, for example, everyone assumes you already know you put it in the script. And like I said, because RenPy changes what syntax it will accept with each version of the program, you need to place code in specific places in order for it to work. But some other stuff like changing the text, font, and size of the notify box but not the notification box without also changing all of your game's GUI can be tricky.

= After much banging of head against wall, you realize the way you're implementing something is contradictory and causes a crash because you're trying to make RenPy read something in the wrong order (putting cart before horse) or you're trying to make it read something you haven't defined, or which doesn't exist. The computer can only read variables you have defined. = Didn't indent. = Indented too much. = RenPy decides nah, it doesn't wanna run the code.

That being said, I am now unreasonably excited about finally being able to use object classes in Python. The problem I kept running into in OaS was that, for whatever reason, I couldn't get persistent variables to stick, meaning the flags for triggers that were not as complex as I may have liked. But object classes seem to work around that constraint just fine, and the best part is I don't have to define a million individual variables with easily-breakable if/else statements.

So now instead of the narrative being based on one binary choice while feigning the illusion of divergence in the others, I can craft a more complex narrative that actually takes your choices into account and assigns variables to them that will influence the ending you get or which routes you see.

Implementation is going to be a shit ton of work as usual, but I'm actually really excited to see how this will pan out.

[hitoshura]

do you have any tips about getting PR in canada, i'm trying to figure this out with my gf who lives in america (also idv edaters. unfortunately)

WE WERE NOT IDV EDATERS SCREAMMMMM you should have just kicked sand in my eyes. i begged him to play idv with me he wouldnt cos he was scared. anyway.

unfortunately my tips are very limited as ive been 'done' with the bullshit for over a year now. and like immigration lawyers literally get paid thousands cause its so complicated :( like not in a 'pay me' way but like its an insane feat to pull off without professional help. that and pr shit is changing all the time so im sure a lot of what i experienced is outdated

i spent like 1.5 years no exaggeration in the pr RESEARCH mines (mostly on r/immigrationcanada) and honestly i still felt like i was learning new shit right up until the day i submitted my application. and then more and more after i had submitted it. its really really hard unfortunately. i really advise asking/searching for questions on that subreddit whenever possible, there are a lot of people who can help when youre unsure.

if it wasnt clear you have to be married to apply for the spousal sponsorship, which as far as I understand is pretty much how most american to ca prships happen. if you (when i say you i mean your american girl bc thats the perspective im coming from) happen to have a skilled job (the canadian gov website has a key to determine if your job classifies as skilled) then I believe there is another route, but I wasn't eligible so idk shit about that. dont bother looking into whether you qualify as common law or conjugal or whatever bc you very very likely dont meet their standards. i got married in the states a week before crossing the border, your marriage certificate would be valid in canada

off the bat i would say, unless you know for sure your living situation would 100% COMPLETELY PROVIDE FOR YOU for 6 months to a year, then you should probably apply for an OUTLAND spousal sponsorship. if you move in together in canada and apply for INLAND spousal sponsorship then you cannot work period, there is no legal way for you to make any cent of income. you will not be eligible for provincial healthcare, so i recommend getting long term travel insurance (i rec geoblue). the border is a whole other ordeal if you don't have any status in canada, you can't look like you're moving (i.e no moving boxes no tons of luggage) you can't look like you're eloping or staying for more than a couple months and even if you do everything right they still may suspect you and deny you entry. i did inland and it was really really difficult and at times scary for these reasons, i did not exactly do some things by the book in order to get by *WINKKK*. if you can stand to get married and then part for upwards of a year then i would really really suggest the outland route. unless youll be provided for then GOOD FOR YOU *shaking fist* random but americans also have to continue filing us taxes even if they have moved out of country. so remember that.

moreso tips umm DOCUMENT EVERYTHINGGG YOU DO TOGETHER this is my biggest piece of advice. you have to prove your relationship is legit, here is a list of stuff i included in my application:

receipts/the route we took for our honeymoon

screenshots of support from relatives, like facebook or other social media posts acknowledging your relationship

we got our wills done to make each other the sole benefactor

receipts and pictures of gifts weve gotten each other

photos of both of you with friends and family is 100% required

proof of past visits to each other

receipts and pics for past dates/outings/events

letters of support from family/friends (i got these notarized)

lots of stuff from online chat logs/social media. pictures of chats, phone calls, video calls from across years. i think i included at least one of each from every month since we got together. chats should be relevant to relationship stuff like discussing moving in, getting married, relatives, etc.

a letter detailing our relationship with exact dates, locations, etc. like when we met, when we started dating, when we visited, how we got engaged, etc. you have to make a case for yourself as if you were in court.

if youre researching stuff there is honestly not a lot of resources specifically for edaters! so many people like have like children together in another country or have been established there as a married couples for years so they have a ton of foundation to work off of. canada doesnt just want to see that youre in love they want to see the work that goes into that, like shared leases and joint bank accounts and years of financial support and children etc etc. it sucks but you have to justify it in other ways when youre (im assuming) young and childless and unmarried until recently. you can get some of those things once you move in together but idk, i was rather safe than sorry an scrounged up all the 'soft' evidence i could right up until i submitted it.

i think thats about it i wish i could help more lol. its definitely one of the hardest things ive had to do like emotionally financially temporally effortfully lmfao. good luck?!

[ebdanon]

(part 2) My dad caught COVID on the plane back. Which meant he couldn't attend the wedding-related "meetings" we planned with the parents. Which made him unbearable. Both sides were trying to make the whole thing as cheap as possible (the parents pay for weddings here)- the cheapest menu, venue, music, everything. I don't remember a lot of things from the planning. But at one point they got so overbearing and trying to undermine everything we just gave up. In our country, the bride's parents buy the wedding ring for her husband, and vice versa. We were so sick of their behavior, that we decided to get ridiculously expensive wedding bands since both sides wanted to show off how much money they had. Because they rushed everything, we ended up married 6 weeks after the proposal. There were about 30 people, all of them mandatory for weddings (there would have been more people if no one was in a rush but not everyone can get a last-minute plane ticket). I managed to get all of one friend to attend, my husband had no friends. Because the parents planned the guest list and we said only the core mandatory people, his parents didn't even ask if he would be inviting any friends. My parents paid for my dresses for the few different official events with the in-laws that tradition demands. My husband's parents (who again, knew about this for a year and a half already, were complaining they were running out of money) got him nothing. Official events include family dinner at my place, and family dinner at his place - only parents and siblings and their partners. Then we did the church ceremony with the 30 people, with a lunch at a restaurant afterward. The actual marriage certificate we got two weeks later on our actual anniversary, and we had lunch after with the 10 people in attendance. The restaurants were shitty both times. Since we lived out of town and were busy with work, our parents had to check which places we could book for the set date. They made a list of the cheapest places in town, and they're all cheap for good reason. Terrible interior, bad service, cheap food, and barely any space. They also made a list for the music, and did the same thing again - listed the cheapest bands which had like three people in them. Thankfully we handled the photographer so the photos were amazing. I worked with a florist for the decoration which made the place a bit nicer, but still pretty shit.

I never wanted a traditional wedding. I just wanted to skip the dumb and outdated traditions, get a marriage certificate, and have a small gathering at a nice venue. Well, we skipped most of the traditions. The traditions I hate include the young unmarried men in the family hiding the bride in her house and only giving her up in exchange for money from the groom and best man. There's shit like dancing on tables, a couple of other "money in exchange for the bride" things, and copious photos of the bride giving gifts to her future in-laws family members. After the wedding, everyone goes back to the groom's house where the bride is supposed to dip her finger in honey. oil? (I forget) and draw crosses on the door to her new home, and then the party continues. My MIL insisted I do that one, my FIL filmed it and sent it to my parents. Because no one went to the groom's house because we weren't doing that part.

I remember one conversation I had with my narcissistic grandma the day before, who insisted we still do all that "giving away the bride for money" in the restaurant itself. This is the same woman who pretended to have a psychotic break a week before the wedding and spent a few days in the hospital. We know she pretended because the doctors told us as much, but they still kept her for "observation" to calm her down. She pretended she didn't recognize anyone or anything, but was magically fine when my uncle called her up.

And then I was married and we spent the rest of the month living with my in-laws (as per tradition) to get all the documents sorted and get the marriage certificate. My parents gave us a huge chunk of money as a wedding gift, and his parents promised us half of the house they own (I have a recent story on this I'll share another time) as the other half would go to their daughter.

Living with them was when I learned how big my MIL's drinking problem was. She would go on these screaming rants about how my parents were master manipulators and planned everything how they wanted it to be, screaming at my husband for being weak-willed and getting fucked over according to her. My husband and I would go over to my parents, and the next day my MIL would be screaming about how we went over to get instructions on how to fuck up everything. It was even worse when she was drunk. We got everything with the documents sorted and got the hell out of dodge as soon as we could to our apartment. And we didn't speak to each other for a month and a half after that. Just trying to decompress and destress from the shitstorm we went through. When we finally started talking to each other again and started to relax, we spent a couple of weeks going over the shit that went down, which was stressful again. Finally, we went back to normal, the stress went away, and we both got incredibly sick. It was like the high adrenaline from the stress was keeping us going until we took a breather and we both crashed. While mine was a chronic flare-up, my husband's was a brand new thing and we spent the next four months going to over 40 doctors to figure out what it was. That's a whole 9 shitty shitty months that were supposed to be incredibly happy. We had tons of plans that we had to put off or completely cancel due to the drama from our families. And when the dust settled, and they tried to reminisce about the "wedding", all I told them was that I was just grateful to be invited. Because none of it was for me. The only things we got to organize were the photographer and the florist. It was like the random small tasks you would give to someone because they have free time and those things aren't too big of a deal so they can't fuck them up too badly. I only have a vague idea of why they were rushing everything - our original plan was to get the certificate and buy people lunch, we'd do the church ceremony and everything else at a later time when venues would be available, which was likely months later. We were planning on moving abroad, so everyone was likely panicking that we would never get married in a church if we didn't do it then and there. But these are just assumptions from throwaway things I've heard since then. Our travel agent actually had the dream little wedding that I had wanted a week after we did. The location, music, decor, menu, hell, even everyone's outfits and the weather, everything was perfect, just how I wanted it to be. I just wanna say I'm happy for her, even if I couldn't, I'm happy someone else got to do that whole idea. And I'm sure it took months of planning which we didn't have for some mysterious reason.

Oh, and as soon as the photos of us were shared online, I started getting phone calls from people asking if I was pregnant because it happened so fast. I started joking that I would start sending people my used tampons to just avoid coming up with an explanation of why the rush happened.

Speaking of pregnancy I just remembered, that as soon as we walked out of the church, my and his parents wished us a happy life and a baby as soon as possible. I laughed and told them that would require some sort of higher power because it was medically impossible at the time, and my dad said "Accidents happen".... Both sets of parents knew I had issues with my hormones that basically make me infertile until they're fixed. And I'm keeping some of them in check with birth control. So even if I stop taking it, I'm still infertile, I just don't get periods without birth control. But sure, accidents happen lmao

That's as much as I could summarize and remember, this happened almost two years ago. I'll be sharing more MIL-specific lore as soon as I can.

can i fist fight your entire family? ill pay for my flight too because holy FUCK??????????

[darkot]

Oh yeah, Tumblr

Well shit. I definitely didn't intend for my previous post to be my last for so long — but here we are. Let's talk!

With everything Tumblr's been through, I don't even know if any of my old followers are even still active on this site to see this. Either way though — whether falling on a few ears or being cast into the void of Tumblr — I could use this space again to get my thoughts out, and have some form of documentation of the years to come.

Originally, I was going to make this "back from the dead" post on my Blogspot. But I'll be real with you — I don't have the first fucking clue about what's going on with it. The CSS on it has been broken for years, and as a spur-of-the-moment thing today, I decided to try and fix it. However, I got nowhere with it. They updated it in some way that broke the customizations I made to it, and I honestly could not figure out how to make it work the way I wanted it to again. The header's broken, the dynamic theme doesn't apply properly to the page links anymore, and for some reason every post on there got duplicated??? As far as I'm concerned, that blog is now condemned.

I cut my losses trying to figure out how to fix that blog, and instead turned my attention to this poor, neglected Tumblr page. There were some things broken on here as well (infinite scrolling didn't work, page elements were out of alignment, etc.), but I am very pleased to say that all of that is now fixed! I spent a few hours on it, and finished up getting everything right just before writing this.

I know the appearance of your blog doesn't matter all that much since the majority of users are going to see your posts on the dashboard/tags — but the way I look at it, your page is kind of like your first impression. Sure, it's not going to get viewed very much by your followers ongoingly — but someone who is completely new to you is going to have to see it once when checking you out to see if you're follow-worthy. And well, you know how the old saying goes:

You never get a second chance to make a good first impression — Will Rogers

All of that said, I didn't just give up on my Blogspot because it was too challenging to fix (those who know me would tell you that I'm waaaaaay too stubborn to let any form of puzzle defeat me haha). No — even though the time commitment was a factor — I just realized that it was kind of a pointless platform for me. A lot of its features are outdated, and Tumblr (though not perfect by any means) could easily fill its shoes for me — and more!

The whole point of this post when I had originally planned to write it, was to say that I want to start really moving forward with my company/productions, and building a community around them. And while I was futilely working on getting my Blogspot working again, it suddenly clicked that, Tumblr would be way better for that.

On Blogspot.. well, you kind of have to be known, before anyone will visit your blog in the first place. But here, people can discover you and your content! So, all in all, I figured my time was better spent fixing up this page and getting the ball rolling with a post on here, since it is so much more in line with my goals.

Plus.. having 2 blogs in kind of redundant. I don't know why I did that in the first place really (I think it was because I thought my reblogs would drown out my content/make it less seen??)

Phew, okay. Now that all that prefacing's out of the way (no, you didn't read that wrong. Everything above this paragraph was just the preface), strap in! Because I'm about to tell you a story. A story about stories. A story about a storyteller who wants to tell stories, and the story of how he lost his way with the art of storytelling.

What motivated me to fix up one of my blogs and make a post in the first place is that, before this, I just annihilated my Discord friend group's chat with a wall of text about the new issue of the Overwatch: New Blood comic.

This seemingly unassuming (if slightly inconsiderate) action had 3 affects. The first being: it made me realize how much I missed sharing my thoughts on things.

Back in the day on my Blogspot, I used to write long, thoughtful posts on whatever topic I felt like talking about. From my thoughts on art theory, to recent games I've played, to movies/shows I just finished, and beyond. But I haven't done that for ages now — and that's something that's really important to me. I like being understood by those around me — and by extension, I want my thoughts on things to be known as well. So, while I haven't been posting, my friends and family are the ones who I've gotten to listen to me rant on about the things that have my attention at any given point. And while they certainly aren't getting off the hook still — I at least won't feel the need to go as in-depth with it, which leads right into the next point..

Discord spam is inconsiderate. Blasting a chat that has messages in the 1-3 line size range with a fucking essay just doesn't feel right. I wanted to get those thoughts off my chest, but not at the sake of making our chat harder to read. I doubt that my friends were bothered by it all that much, but I'd still rather be considerate towards how everyone might not appreciate that.

Lastly, and most importantly.. it was another reminder of how much I love storytelling, and want to make stories.

Contrary to how much I adored the new issue of Overwatch: New Blood, and all of the things I raved about in it — I was still rather critical of the story structure.

In this 5 issue comic mini-series McCree (still not quite used to calling him Cassidy..) has been travelling around the world to recruit members for the newly reformed Overwatch, as a lead-up to the point that Overwatch 2's story campaign will be taking place.

To summarize the wall of text that I wrote on this topic already, while I love the characterization, world building, and the mini-plots of each issue (not to mention the artwork. Oh my god the artwork is stunning!!), my one criticism is that the premise is a little too convenient and honestly.. feels kind of lazy, from a narrative perspective.

So far, in the 4 out of 5 issues that have been released. McCree has recruited Pharah, Baptiste, and Zarya — with D.va heavily implied to be his fourth recruit in the upcoming final issue.

The moments between McCree and these characters are an absolute delight, and honestly, they are handling this route about as flawlessly as they could be. But that said.. I wish these characters were being introduced into the core Overwatch plot more organically. Having McCree just go around and round up all of the outlier characters who aren't associated with the Overwatch organization yet feels kind of cheap on the surface — even if the execution under the surface is stellar.

For comparison: In the Overwatch 2 Story Campaign, from what we've seen so far, Lucio is going to become a member of Overwatch in a bit of a more organic way. From the looks of things, Overwatch is going to come to Rio de Janeiro (Lucio's city) in order to defend it against the omnic threat Null Sector — and along the way, they're going to bump into Lucio, who is also defending his home.

That is exactly what I wanted for these other characters. For complex circumstances to bring them in the path of Overwatch, instead of them being pulled into the main story just because the plot demands it.

Now, to be completely fair, I'm 99% certain that, this plot and the whole comic mini-series by extension came about due to time constraints with making the story campaign for Overwatch 2. They probably had to go this route with introducing Pharah, Baptiste, Zarya and D.va to Overwatch ahead of time, because they didn't have time to make an organic recruitment sub-plot for each of them in the upcoming game (especially with the already well known in-game recruitment of Lucio, as well as the heavily implied recruitment of Zenyatta, and potentially many others). But all in all, I think it is still a valid criticism despite the potentially very valid reasoning behind the narrative decision.

All of that said now, I do this a lot with stories. Be it games, movies or shows — I'm constantly analyzing them and considering how they could have done certain things "better." I put better in quotes because, as an art, storycraft is entirely subjective. So, you can't say that one way of doing things is objectively better than another way of doing things (except with Game of Thrones Season 8, because we all know that a toddler writing in the mud with his finger could have written a more satisfying ending to that show). What I mean is, my version of better. What would have appealed to me more, and what I would have found more satisfying personally.

One quote that's stuck with me for a long time (that I sadly don't remember the source/author of) was from someone in the video game or television industry who, in response to someone criticising their game/show, encouraged them to make their own product without these flaws that they saw in this game/show.

While that may have come across tongue-in-cheek, I do think that they were being genuine — and the message had an impact on me. If you have a vision of how you want things to be, rather than sit around and criticise other people's creations for not being that, why not create the thing you want to watch/play yourself?

Often, I find that stories, or moments in stories, juuust fall short of how I would have liked them to be. Where if they pushed this element a little further, or tweaked this aspect a little bit, or emphasized this one thing more, that it would have been so much more impactful to me. Thus, I think that quote is very applicable to me. I have a vision. I know what I like in media. I know what really impacts me and wows me, and as close as my favourite series/games have gotten to that... none ever will. Because only I can make that.

That reminds me of another quote. It was along the lines of "Only you can create the stories you think of, because your world view is unique to you and nobody else could write it the way you would." That is a complete paraphrase, but it gets the idea across. Perhaps as part of my desire to be understood by others, I want to share that unique world view, and tell those stories that nobody else could. To make those series that are perfect in my eyes. The kinds of shows that I would love to watch, and would be heartbroken to see end.

I may have shared this sentiment before (perhaps on this very blog), but I am definitely more of a storyteller than I am an artist. Art is a tool to me — the medium through which I think story can be most powerfully conveyed. Outside of my figure drawings, every single piece of my art has always had a strong story/concept focus. Fix-it Felix as Doctor Who, Vegeta the "pretty princess of all saiyans," Hat Kid using Link's cap to get the power of a deku leaf, Bowser as a genie in a pipe.. rarely, if ever, have I just drawn a character as-is, for the sake of drawing them. I've always needed to put my own spin on it — to have an idea unique and interesting enough to be worth drawing, because otherwise I don't see the point (personally. Absolutely not bashing on anyone else who gets enjoyment out of just drawing characters they like!)

Art, by itself, has never been a passion of mine. And I think that's really begun to show over the years. My long periods of going dark and not drawing just go to show that, I don't find art alone fulfilling. Still art with an interesting concept can keep me occupied for a short time until it's complete — but it's not what I ultimately want to do.

With the start of this though, I have a plan.

This is a concept piece I did last year, for Overwatch's "Pachimarchi" event. There's a whole backstory behind the idea over on my Deviantart where I posted it.

Sadly, it didn't do too well on Reddit — but I am still super proud of this piece both conceptually and executionarily (that's not a word, but you know what I mean haha). So, with March coming up again, I think I'm going to dedicate some more time to finishing this piece up, with full rendering, and a back view — whether or not Overwatch decides to do another Pachimarchi event this year. I am so confident in this being a great idea that other people can enjoy, and want to give it another shot, but this time giving it my all!

If you made it this far into the post, did you just skip to the end? Or are you stalking me O.O? Either way, I appreciate you for reading however much of this you did. Stay tuned! I'm going to continue posting here, using the #darkotarts tag for my artwork, and the new #darkotsmind tag for writings like this — as a nod to my now defunct Blogspot's name. R.I.P DarkotsMind 2012-2022. Long live #DarkotsMind!

[slutneto]

Reddit keeps telling me Tom just hazes Greg. What is hazing ? Is Tom hazing greg ? Dumb question sorry

hazing is basically bullying newcomers under the pretense that if they want to stay in your fancy joint, they have to do certain (usually humiliating) things first.

i could see how somebody would think that tom showing greg the cruises docs is a form of hazing. he does pressure him into it by telling him he is family, and welcomes him into it, like into some prestigious club (or fraternity, tom has a certain frat quality to him), after greg shreds the documents for him. but it ends there, in my opinion. even tom's decision to drag greg into all of it does not fit the bill for me. he does not do it because he wants to bully greg, he does it because he needs to share this burden with somebody. he doesn't even want to fuck greg over with this; he tells shiv as much, should push come to shove, his plan is to shut him up, not burn him at all.

i honestly don't think anything else that happens between them could be labeled as hazing. sure, he has outbursts, but what sets those apart from hazing is the root cause of tom's actions - he gets mad at greg because, unknowingly, greg manages to touch upon things that hurt tom the most: in season one, it's shiv's infidelity, in season two, the crushing realization that he isn't enough for anyone, not for shiv, not for waystar, not for the roys, not even for greg.

i find it really interesting that it does not happen again in season three - after all, greg comes to the christmas tree decorating session last, and tom has been so stressed about going to prison all this time, but instead of going into another meltdown he just smiles sadly and takes it, calls greg a piece of shit and moves on.

sorry, i got a bit sidetracked here. what i am trying to say is that saying that tom hazes greg seems like a very shallow surface reading of the situation to me, but most of all, an outdated one.

[matthillica]

Pandemic - Day 7 (Weds 3/18/20)

Not even sure where to begin this, suffice to say I've had a nagging feeling over the last few days that I need to document this as we all hurtle toward the unknown.

I haven't touched this blog in almost exactly 10 years, which is crazy to think about. Crazy that something I used to spend so much time agonizing over and pouring thought into has become antiquated and obsolete... only to become the one outlet that makes sense during this crazy time.

Yesterday I set up the Kinect on my Xbox, another obsolete piece of technology. Because I'm a nerd and always have to have the newest, hottest, flamingest shit, I got one of the first Xbox Ones to come out, which came with the second generation of Kinect sensor... you know, the one Microsoft tried to shove down all our throats relentlessly. Anyway, we basically used it as a voice operated remote to browse Netflix. "Xbox, pause" "Xbox, play" "Xbox, rewind"... you know, shit Americans are known for. Anyway, Microsoft eventually gave up the ghost and phased the Kinect out. Mine's been sitting on a shelf gathering dust for at least 2 years.

Now, it's a way (if I can get the damn thing working again) for us to use an outdated Skype app so that we can talk to Grandma on a daily basis. My daughter, Caroline is almost 2 (yes! I have a daughter now and have been married to my wife since September 2015). Grandma is in Kansas, set to move to be with us in Atlanta as soon as her house sells. She was supposed to come visit us 3/27, but it's looking like that won't happen now. I told her if she was able to get in the car TODAY and make the 14 hour drive, stopping only for gas and to sleep in her car, that she's welcome to come stay with us and ride this thing out. Tearfully, she told me she needed to stay in case someone wants to come look at the house.

Honestly, it's going to be safer for her there anyway. McPherson has around 15,000 people. Meanwhile Atlanta is set to blow with this virus and cases have started to double overnight. It's hard to know how many there really are simply because there's a shortage of testing. Personally, I think by this weekend, our healthcare system is going to be in the grips of the worst crisis it's ever seen.

I should also mention that my wife has some autoimmune health issues that are pretty unique. She suffers from Schmidt's Syndrome which is a combination of Addison's Disease and Hypothyroidism. It's something that can be managed with a daily regimen of drugs, but is a serious condition that can be exacerbated by illness. The story of her diagnosis and the things we went through to get to it could fill a book at this point. I have taken more trips to the ER in the last 5 years than I care to mention and many of them have been triggered by illness, whether that's a common flu or something given to my wife by Caroline from her daycare or mastitis... even the slightest thing can send her into adrenal crisis, which immediately requires a trip to the ER.

So... as you can probably guess... I'm pretty fuckin nervous about all this. Luckily, I have been quietly prepping and watching this story develop, so we have plenty of food, water, and meds to get us through the next 60-90 days. My concern is that if my wife catches this, which she probably will, we may need a trip to the ER... and that's the last place on earth I want to be right now or for the forseeable future.

I should ALSO also mention... my wife is 13 weeks pregnant with our second child. This means that now, not only do we get to navigate our way through a pandemic AND Schmidt's... but we also have to deal with morning sickness and fatigue, all the while playing the game of "Is this symptom just pregnancy OR is it your Schmidt's OR is it Covid?"

Anyway, the last few days have been rough and we're only at the beginning of this thing. My wife can barely stand due to fatigue. She basically moves from one flat position to the next... shuffling quickly from our bed to a sofa or from the sofa to the kitchen and back as quickly as she can. It's slightly horrifying. I've been trying to cram fluids and food down as much as possible, but it's hard when someone doesn't feel well. I got her a bottle that lights up every 30 min to remind her to drink, but that's not really helped much at all. I grabbed protein shakes from the store in an effort to find something high calorie with vitamins, etc. that she can drink easily. I basically had to hold a gun to her head to make her drink it this morning. I'm equal parts husband and taskmaster. It sucks.

Last night she said she felt the fatigue was getting worse and that it wasn't due to pregnancy. I can connect with her doctors via an app that allows me to send them messages... Laura was too tired last night to do this herself, so I fired off an email to both her endocrinologist and OBGYN. No response.

In preparation for a doctor visit today, which we assumed we'd be able to schedule, we drove to Laura's folks' house so they can watch Caroline while we go to the doc. We tried calling the docs on the way over, but it seems they're already trying to stem the flow of patients. It's worrisome when you're living with someone who has a life-threatening illness to see the system strained already when the worse is yet to come.

Anyway, not long after we got to my in-laws' house, Dr. Patel (endocrinologist) called me directly. After discussing Laura's symptoms with him for about 10 minutes, he said we need to go to the ER so that she can be given fluids via IV. I said, yeah... no I don't want to go there AT ALL. But he said really, we need to go as this is the only way to deliver IV fluids. I thanked him for calling us and he said he'd call back tomorrow to check in.

So... what to do? Do we drive into what we KNOW is a situation that will expose us both to Covid so that she can be given IV fluids and told she needs to eat more, which I can almost guarantee you is what will happen since we've been through this a dozen times before? OR do we do what we can at home, try to see if we can force fluids and food to make her feel better, then reevaluate tomorrow when, in all likelihood, the situation will be even worse at the ERs? Neither is a fantastic choice.

For now, we've decided to stick it out here at her parents and see if we can force the fluids and food for today. At the very least, tomorrow when we wake up if she is still not feeling better, we'll be able to say that we know she's not dehydrated and we know she's had enough food. I know it will be worse at the ER tomorrow, but if going there is a Covid sentence either way, seems like it would be smarter to delay that option as long as possible.

So that's the situation right now. We're all "working from home" at this point. I have a desk set up at home and have grabbed my monitors, so with the exception of the folding table set up in Caroline's playroom, it's just like my normal office setting, basically. It's interesting attending meetings and trying to handle the business-as-usual functions of our jobs while the world around us starts to crack and crumble. I can't help but wonder how long this routine will go on before each one of us is just in 100% survival mode, unable to track or even care about projects that have lost their meaning in the context of this incredible, unbelievable, worldwide crisis.

It's crazy to think that everyone... EVERYONE on EARTH... is living out their own versions of this story, complete with difficult situations to navigate and impossible choices to make. My own drama is consuming all of my mental real estate right now, so my heart is with everyone who is dealing with their own all-consuming drama as well.

Be good to each other over the coming days and weeks. Stay strong and as positive as possible. Take care and stay safe.

-Matt