#and throw it in the fucking ocean

[tennessoui]

I love how in foolproof Obiwan is like “the prude I’m going to seduce is Anakin Skywalker” and then when they hook up on the ship when Anakin is accompanying him on his mission Anakin is everything but a prude, like the dirty talk is insane. That man knows what he wants.

imagining foolproof foolhardy from master anakin's pov will never not be funny to me cause like.

pov after your marriage ends in public disaster that sort of ruins your life and severely damages your plans for the future and connections to the light side of the force, you isolate yourself and slowly recover emotionally while keeping an eye on this kid you care about in a very platonic little brother way. then the galaxy breaks out into war and you're given another padawan and so now you have to worry about this padawan's wellbeing as well as continuing to worry about the well-being of the padawan you didn't take because you were told you couldn't so now that padawan hates you but you still worry about him and who has time for sex in conditions like those??

only then you see your almost-padawan-who-now-hates-you for the first time in a few years and now you're having a morality crisis cause he's. like. he's hot and pretty and needy and apparently also all the other padawans apparently tease him about how much he gets around and he's cocky about it because apparently it's true and he does get around so now despite your best not to think about it, you're thinking about what that looks like and what it would be like if he didn't hate you and actually trusted you and let you care for his wellbeing the way you're chomping at the bit to

and then circumstances outside of your control allow you to care for him a few times during the war and he needs you and he clings to you and you can help him and he's so beautiful and this is not the sort of love you signed up for and this is the sort of desire that is familiar but the last time you gave into that sort of desire and that sort of love, you almost ruined your life and the life of your wife and you love him way too much to even attempt to do something like that to him, even though you're also pretty sure he still doesn't like you because of what happened when he was a kid

so you're holding yourself back from sex completely because the only person you really want to have sex with is this one person who doesn't want you and all other sex will be absolutely meaningless, and you're fine with that because it's not like you've ever really needed sex to get by and you're pretty busy anyway so all that you really need is a hand every now and then and yours works fine. really it's all good so long as you don't break and try to fuck the guy who isn't your padawan but is your siren up against the nearest temple wall to show him how much better you could make him feel than anyone else who has ever held him

and then something changes like a switch being flicked and now he's running into you all over the place being a little fucking cocktease and it's getting so fucking hard not to snap, especially when he looks up at you with wide and trusting eyes, like you've never done anything to hurt him, like he wants you back, like he loves you back even though he must not and you must be going crazy, reading too much into nothing and you have to hold the line you have to not break you have to be respectful and polite because it's what he deserves

and then after everything else, after you break and like. try to ravish him in public right in front of the acting chancellor of the republic, he confesses that like. this whole time you've been trying not fuck him dirty enough to stain both your souls, he's been thinking you're a prude.

like. poor master skywalker. he deserves to go apeshit. nobody has ever deserved to spank padawan obi-wan more tbh

[piosplayhouse]

"Oh dear," the unicorn thought. "I must've really mucked up the story beyond compare! The Red Bull Luo Binghe is protecting the last unicorn scum?! Unconscionable! He should have driven me off the cliff by now!!"

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

[huanted-dennys]

My warm ups for the last few days

This time it’s mermaid au themed

siren?

idk take em

I love the idea of bored out of his mind Jazz

also thalassophobic Jazz

[stimsfx]

self indulgent little!wash stimboard

x x x / x x x / x x x (if i fucked up crediting pls lmk)

i think he should get 2 be a little kitty . as a treat

[docmccoy]

Whatever ideas you have about why things have happened in Severance, and what will happen next, love these as sandcastles- potentially to be washed away with the tide of the next season. Don't soil the process of storytelling for yourself by building stone certainties in between acts and crying out when change comes for you! Surrender to the vulnerability of someone else's story!

[scrawleditalix]

kinda unbelievable that we got lesbian catnip Arkady Patel and lesbian cocaine Sana Tripathi in the same main cast and they are, like. Endless devotion & trust. Bicker like a married couple. Soft nicknames. Will find each other across the vast emptiness of space again and again, because fate wills it so. If I took a bullet for you it would be the best thing I ever did. You are the only person I can lay my burdens on. I’d sooner cut off my own hand than believe you’d betray me. etc.

and like yes this dynamic is clearly 100% platonic. but what’s truly hysterical is you can see it bleeding into the specific way that Sana tortures herself over Campbell because she either lost or never truly had a conception of love beyond self-sacrifice and she cannot fathom what she would ever sacrifice of herself that could measure up to what he is willing and able to sacrifice for her and it’s like. that’s so interesting I wonder whose love you’re able to accept because you feel like you have something to give them. I wonder who you could give your life for. I wonder who you’d give up your honor for. I wonder who, no matter how many hits she takes, no matter how much of her soul she stains for you, will never feel like she has paid back what you’ve already given.

[kristiliqua]

ive been tweeting abt this but i was honest to god laughing my absolute ass off in disbelief when phil answered “fomo” . FUCKING FOMO ?????? PHIL . PHIL I CAN GUARANTEE YOU ETOILES WOULD BE DYING RN IN ABSOLUTE AGONY . FUCKING FOMO ????? ARE YOU SERIOUS ??????? YOU THOUGHT FOMO WOULD BE AN ANSWER BUT NOT THE DARK ????????? OH I LOST IT

i laughed even harder when i , while i was replying to my friend talking abt phil’s fomo answer and not paying attention to the last two rounds (except for jaiden’s “cars” LMFAOOOO) , heard “TEAM ENGLISH HAS OFFICIALLY WON” because . FYM THEY WON 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ?????????? AFTER THE ABSOLUTE FUMBLE THAT WAS “FOMO” AND “CARS” ??????????? LMFAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WAS DYING BRO I ACTUALLY COULDNT BELIEVE IT 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE WHAT EVEN HAPPENED IJBOLLLLLLL CONGRATS TEAM ENGLISH I GUESS WTF LMAOOAOOOOOAOOO

[savage-rhi]

Other pink variant ft. Creed Cliff Banshee.

[i3utterflyeffect]

oh my god i didn't even think about stick!alan if dark survived somehow... actually that'd be so funny

[infizero]

im ending it all

[artschoolglasses]

Well, as an asexual person, I would just like to double down on calling JK Rowling a massive cunt. ☺️

[emberphantom]

Was anyone going to tell me that the Official Supernatural Youtube channel posted a 50 minute Destiel video for Valentine's day THIS YEAR or was I supposed to just find out a month later from the algorithm throwing it into my recommendations myself?

[asthedeathoflight]

My toxic trait as an audience member is that whenever things are about to turn out alright but get fucked up at the last minute because there needs to be another installment in the series it just pisses me the fuck off. If theres gonna be a big overarching conflict in your story don't get my hopes up with it looking like they almost fixed it and then SIKE! FIVE MORE SEASONS! Thats obnoxious. I dont know what people think it accomplishes for the story.

[newtonsheffield]

Me who was planning on wearing shorts and a Tshirt to my boss’s going away drinks (it’s at a brewery) tomorrow hearing that other people have bought new dresses for the occasion: 😬😬

[moghedien]

i fucking hate Moiraine for stopping us from seeing whatever weird freaky sex weaves from the Age of Legends Lanfear was about to use