#and to sate dirks needs

[timaeusresponds]

Mouth foaming, biting gnashing have you guys ever thought about the fact davesprite still identifies as Dave and the only real reason Hal doesn’t is because he was muscled out of that identity slowly and gradually by necessity alone. If given the leniency not to change his text colors and to choose his own name early on chances are he’d have kept Orange and stuck with what he’d been called for the first thirteen years of his life, but he didn’t get a choice and circumstances demanded easy identification and well. Dirk sure as fuck wasn’t gonna be the one making changes, and Hal couldn’t argue with that when he’s literally shades and code.

I don’t think he’s aware of this and I think he’s probably comfortable in the identity he’s made for himself now, especially in distancing himself from Dirk as an identity— but I catch myself wondering if, when given the leniency and kindness to choose his means of self expression, would the AR choose to follow the identity he’d had all his life? Would he really opt to identify as someone else, and if so, would it be more of a mask for the first few years? Would he always feel, deep down, like he was Dirk who had a nickname?

I know Hal is his own person now, but I think he has also been Dirk for a long time before he became this new identity. In the same way I am not the person I was in highschool, but that person is still always me. In the way that we are not who we were as teenagers, but they are us. He is not Dirk anymore, but looking back at points in his existence there is a period where it would be incorrect to view himself as ‘Hal’ and the name he associates with it is ‘Dirk.’ He isn’t Dirk, but Dirk(AR) was him.

The view from others being:

AR begins existing -> AR begins identifying in Red Text -> AR is now referred to as Hal

But the view from himself being:

Is Dirk in the process of creating an AI -> is Dirk in the form of an AI referred to by others as AR -> Is Dirk in the form of an AI using red text, referred to as AR -> Is Dirk in the form of an AI, referred to initially jokingly as Hal, this is a nickname in some capacity -> Is Hal, an AI that was at one point Dirk, but is no longer this person.

Does that make any sense. I am going insane.

[tokiro07]

Since I noticed you at least know about homestuck could I ask you for your thoughts on possible Negations for characters on it? You can choose however many you want, like, just the ones you are interested in or are easy to think about. Or not at all if you are don't wanna.

(Also, HI! Hope you are doing nicely)

Hi, I'm fine! Thanks for asking

So...Homestuck is kind of a difficult one for this on the basis that the power system is element and class-based, meaning that there's a lot of room for overlap

This makes it difficult to differentiate between, say, two Heroes of Time, because both of them are in some way manipulating time. I could theoretically uses the Classes as a guide since they define how Aspects are used, but the specifics were never adequately defined for most Classpects

Thieves, Rogues, Princes and Bards are fairly simple on the basis that these Classes all either steal or destroy their Aspect, which basically make them Negators already in a sense, but the ideas of "stealing an Aspect" and "stealing by using an Aspect" are difficult to make meaningfully different outside of their original context

Outside of those Classes though, most of them are about somehow manipulating or creating their Aspects, which by definition doesn't really line up with the concept of Negators

Still, I'll give it a shot. I'll do the kids and the original Trolls, at least

John, Uncalm - negates the calm of the weather to create gusts of wind

Rose, Unpredictable - negates future events by predicting them, ensuring they will play out differently; Artifact Sunken City allows her to draw on Eldritch powers

Dave, Untimely - negates the current temporal state of an object, reverting it to an older state or forcing it into a future state; Artifact Cheaper by the Dozen allows him to summon clones of himself

Jade, Unspacious - negates the space an object occupies by reducing its size; Artifact Teen Wolf turns her into a werewolf

Jane, Undead - negates her own death (likely doesn't have the imagination to weaponize her body though)

Jake, Unbelievable- negates the belief that something cannot be achieved; normally applies to marksmanship, but Jake's reinterpretation of the rule allows him to manifest other unbelievable actions as well

Roxy, Unimagine - negates the non-existence of objects, allowing her to create objects from nothing

Dirk, Ununified- negates Dirk's sense of self by splitting his consciousness between multiple sources; in his case, Dirk places pieces of his mind into machines such as robots or AI programs, but all are in a sense the true self

Aradia, Unmove - negates a target's ability to move, as if freezing them in time

Tavros, Unwilling - negates a target's willpower and bringing them under his control; due to his interpretation of the Rule, Tavros can only control animals, not sentient life

Sollux, Unhand - negates Sollux's need to touch objects to interact with them, effectively making him telekinetic

Karkat, Unopposed - negates objections to proposed ideas, fostering camaraderie

Nepeta, Unidentified - negates others' ability to recognize Nepeta's true identity, allowing her to pose as others

Kanaya, Unsatisfied - negates Kanaya's ability to sate her hunger; because of her love of vampires, she conflated this feeling with the idea of vampirism, limiting her cravings to blood and allowing her to drain a target of blood through a bite

Terezi, Undecided - negates the consequences of a decision, returning to the point where the decision was made within a reasonable amount of time

Vriska, Unluck - negates a targets luck through contact

Equius, Unseen - negates his own ability to be seen; reinterpretation of this Rule has allowed Equius to be unable to be found through any senses or technologies

Gamzee, Uncontrollable - negates his own sense of self-control, sending him into a berserker rage

Eridan, Unremarkable - negates events that go outside of Eridan's own beliefs, reducing them to being mundane

Feferi, Unfade - negates her own ability to age

That was...slightly easier than anticipated, but a good handful of them were pretty tough and I'm not completely satisfied with all of them, but they work fine I think. Granted, like I said, a lot of the powers in Homestuck aren't fully explored, so there's a good chance these aren't actually accurate reflections of canon

I'm particularly proud of Undecided and Unremarkable, though, they have a lot of potential for versatility

[lesbiancolumbo]

what dirk bogarde movies would you recommend? i just watched the servant and it was absolutely insane but i loved it, and now i feel the need to watch every dirk movie ever made

VICTIM. VICTIM RIGHT NOW. that’s THEEEE derek van den bogaerde film, so if you have not seen it, go go go.

okay, now that you’re back. one of my favorite performances is in a film that not many people have seen but libel is a fantastic film! he gets to really show some range here. if you want to see the camp monstrosity dirk bogarde, modesty blaise is your girl. if you want gay priestfucker dirk bogarde, may i suggest the singer not the song? i could go on singing is judy’s movie but he does a fine turn in that as well, and he’s good in darling even though i hate that film very much <3

i would never recommend the night porter to anyone. that being said, he’s sure doing something in it! he is also doing Something in losey’s accident (your mileage will vary with this one - if you like the servant then go nuts) and visconti’s the damned (i wouldn’t recommend it but it’s interesting). i think this will be enough to sate you for the time being, so happy watching! circle back and let me know your thoughts, and always remember:

[ameryth74]

Louis **** Title Generator Tool

** **** it 

LOL.... go!

Two letter words:

There are 107 acceptable 2-letter words listed in the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, 6th Edition and the Official Tournament and Club Word List:

AA, AB, AD, AE, AG, AH, AI, AL, AM, AN, AR, AS, AT, AW, AX, AY, BA, BE, BI, BO, BY, DA, DE, DO, ED, EF, EH, EL, EM, EN, ER, ES, ET, EW, EX, FA, FE, GI, GO, HA, HE, HI, HO, ID, IF, IN, IS, IT, JO, JU, JY, JZ, KA, KI, KO, LA, LI, LO, MA, ME, MI, MM, MO, MU, MY, NA, NE, NO, NU, OD, OE, OF, OH, OI, OK, OM, ON, OP, OR, OS, OW, OX, PA, PE, PI, PO, QI, RE, SH, SI, SO, TA, TE, TI, TO, UH, UM, UN, UP, US, UT, WE, WO, XI, XU, YA, YE, YO, ZA

Two letter contractions: I’m, I’d

Four letter verbs:

abet, abut, abye/aby, ache, alit, ally, ante, arch, aver, avow (10).

baby,  bach, back, bade, baff, bail, bait, bake, bald, bale, balk, ball, band, bang, bank, bant, barb, bard, bare, barf, bark, base, bash, bask, bate, bath, bauk, bawl, bead, beam, bean, bear,    beat, beck, bede, beef, been, beep, bell, belt, bend, bent, bere, best, bias, bide(archaic usage), biff, bike, bilk, bill, bind, bird, birl, birr, bite, bitt, blab, blat, blaw, bled, blet, blew, blip, blob, blot, blow, blub, blue, blur, boak, boat, bode, body, boff(vulgar usage), boil, boke, bomb, bond, bone, bong, bonk, boob, book, boom, boot, bore, born, boss, boun, bowl, brad, brag, bray, bred, brew, brim, buck, buff, bulk, bull, bump, bung, bunk, bunt, buoy, burl, burn, burp, burr, bury, bush, busk, buss, bust, busy, butt, buzz (117).

ca-ca, cage, cake, calk, call, calm, came, camp, cane, cant, card, care, carp, cart, case, cash, cast, cave, cede, cere, chap, char, chat, chaw, chid, chin, chip, chop, chow, chug, chum, cite, clad, clam, clap, claw, clay, clew, clip, clog, clop, clot, cloy, club, clue, coal, coat, coax, cock, code, coif, coil, coin, coke, comb, come, comp, cone, conk, conn, cook, cool, coop, cope, copy, cord, core, cork, corn, cosh, cost, coup, cove, cowl, crab, cram, crap, crew, crib, crop, crow, cube, cuff, cull, curb, curd, cure, curl, curr, cuss (90).

dado, daff, damn, damp, dang, dare, dark, darn, dart, dash, date, daub, dawn, daze, deal, deck, deed, deem, defy, deke, dele, demo, dent, deny, dial, dice, died, diet, dike, dine, ding, ding, dint, dirk, disc, dish, disk, diss, dive, dock, doff, dole, dome, done, doom, dope, dose, doss, dote, dove, down, doze, drab, drag, draw, dray, dree, drew, drip, drop, drub, drug, drum, duck, duel, duet, dull, dumb, dump, dung, dunk, dupe, dusk, dust, dyke (75).

earn, ease, echo, eddy, edge, edit, emit, envy, espy, etch, even, exit (12).

face, fade, fail, fake, fall, fame, fard, fare, farm, fart, fash, fast, fate, fawn, faze, fear, feed, feel, fell, felt, fend, fess, fete, feud, file, fill, film, find, fine, fink, fire, firm, fish, fist, fizz, flag, flap, flat, flaw, flay, fled, flee, flew, flex, flip, flit, flog, flop, flow, flub, flux, foal, foam, foil, foin, fold, fond, fool, foot, ford, fork, form, foul, fowl, frag, frap, fray, free, fret, frig, frit, fuel, full, fume, fund, funk, furl, fuse, fuss, futz, fuze, fuzz (82).

gaff, gage, gain, gait, gall, game, gang, gaol, gape, garb, gash, gasp, gast(obsolete), gate, gaum(US), gave, gawk, gawp, gaze, gear, geld, gibe, gift, gild, gill, gimp, gird, girt, give, glad(archaic), glom, glow, glue, glug, glut, gnar, gnaw, go by, go on, goad, golf, gone, gong, goof, gore, gown, grab, gray, grew, grey, grid, grin, grip, grit, grow, grub, gulf, gull, gulp, gush, gust, gybe, gyre, gyve (64).

hack, haft, hail, hale, halo, halt, hand, hang, hare, hark, harm, harp, hash, hasp, hast, hate, hath(archaic), haul, have, hawk, haze, head, heal, heap, hear, heat, heed, heel, heft, held, helm, help, hent(obsolete), herd, hewn, hide, hike, hill, hint, hire, hiss, hive, hoax, hock, hoke(slang), hold, hole, home, hone, honk, hood, hoof, hook, hoop, hoot, hope, horn, hose, host, hove, howl, huff, hulk, hull, hump, hung, hunt, hurl, hurt, hush, husk, hymn, hype, hypo (74).

idle, inch, iris, iron, isle, itch (6).

jack, jade, jail, jape, jazz, jeep, jeer, jell, jerk, jest, jibe, jilt, jink, jinx, jive, join, joke, jolt, josh, juke, jump, junk (22).

kayo, keek(Scots), keel, keen, keep, kept, kern, kick, kill, kiln, kilt, kink, kiss, kite, knap, knew, knit, knot, know (19).

lace, lack, laid, lain, lair, lake, lamb, lame, land, lard, lark, lase, lash, last, lath, laud, lave, laze, lazy, lead, leaf, leak, lean, leap, lech, leer, left, lend, lens, lent, levy, lick, lift, like, lilt, limb, lime, limn, limp, line, link, lisp, list, live, load, loaf, loan, lock, loft, loll, long, look, loom, loop, loot, lope, lord, lose, lost, loup(Scots), lour, lout, love, lube, luck, luff, luge, lull, lump, lure, lurk, lust, lute, lyse (74).

mace, made, mail, maim, make, mall, malt, mark, marl, mart, mash, mask, mass, mast, mate, maul, maze, mean, meet, meld, mell, melt, mend, meow, mesh, mess, mete, mewl, miff, milk, mill, mime, mind, mine, mint, mire, miss, mist, moan, moat, mock, moil, mold, molt, moon, moor, moot, mope, moss, move, muck, muff, mull, mump, muse, mush, muss, must, mute (59).

nail, name, near, neck, need, nest, nick, nigh, nill(obsolete), nock, nose, nosh, note, nuke, null, numb (16).

obey, ogle, oink, okay, omen, omit, ooze, open, oust, over (10).

pace, pack, page, pain, pair, pale, pall, palm, pang, pant, pare, park, part, pash(Austral), pass, pave, pawn, peak, peal, peck, peek, peel, peen, peep, peer, pelt, pend, perk, perm, pick, pike, pile, pill, pimp, pine, ping, pink, pipe, piss(vulgar), pith, pity, plan, plat, play, plod, plop, plot, plow, plug, pock, poke, pole, poll, pond, pool, pore, port, pose, post, pour, pout, pray, pree, prep, prey, prim, prod, prog, prop, puff, puke, pule, pull, pulp, pump, punt, purl, purr, push, putt (80).

quad, quip, quit, quiz (4).

race, rack, raft, rage, raid, rail, rain, rake, ramp, rang, rank, rant, rape, rase, rasp, rate, rave, raze, razz, read, ream, reap, rear, reck, redd(dialect), rede(archaic), redo, reed, reef, reek, reel, rein, rely, rend, rent, rest, re-up, rice, rick, ride, riff, rift, rile, rill, rime(archaic)/rhyme, ring, riot, rise, risk, rive, roam, roar, robe, rock, rode, roil, rolf, roll, romp, roof, rook, room, root, rope, rose, rout, rove, ruck, ruff, ruin, rule, rush, rust (73).

sack, said, sail, sale, salt, sand, sass, sate, save, sawn, scab, scam, scan, scar, scat, scud, scum, seal, seam, sear, seat, seed, seek, seel, seem, seen, seep, sell, send, sent, sewn, shag, sham, shed, shim, shin, ship, shit, shoe, shog, shoo, shop, shot, show, shun, shut, sick, side, sift, sigh, sign, silk, silt, sing, sink, sire, site, size, skew, skid, skim, skin, skip, slab, slag, slam, slap, slat, slay, sled, slew, slid, slim, slip, slit, slog, slop, slot, slow, slub, slue, slug, slum, slur, smut, snag, snap, snip, snow, snub, snug, soak, soap, soar, sock, soil, sold, sole, solo, soot, sorb, sort, soup, sour, sown, spae(scottish), spam, span, spar, spat, spay, spec, sped, spew, spin, spit, spot, spud, spur, spurn, stab, stag, star, stay, stem, step, stet, stew, stir, stop, stow, stub, stud, stun, suck, suds, suit, sulk, sung, sunk, surf, swab, swag, swam, swan(brit), swap, swat, sway, swig, swim, swob, swop(brit)/swap, swot, swum, sync (155).

tabu, tack, tail, take, talc, talk, tame, tamp, tang, tank, tape, tare, task, taut, taxi, team, tear, teem, tell, tend, tent, term, test, text, thaw, thin, thud, tick, tide, tidy, tier, tiff, tile, till, tilt, time, tine, ting, tint, tire, toil, toke, told, tole, toll, tomb, tone, tong, took, tool, toot, tope, tore, torn, toss, tote, tour, tout, tram, trap, tree, trek, trim, trip, trod, trot, trow(archaic), true, tube, tuck, tuft, tune, turf, turn, tusk, twig(Brit), twin, twit, type (79).

undo, urge (2).

vade, vail(archaic), vamp, vary, veal, veer, veil, vein, vend, vent, vest, veto, vide, view, vine, visa, vise, void, vote (19).

wade, waft, wage, wail, wait, wake, wale, walk, wall, wane, want, ward, ware(archaic), warm, warn, warp, wash, waul, wave, wawl, wean, wear, weed, ween, weep, weet, weld, well, welt, wend, went, wept, were, wert(archaic), wham, whap, whet, whid(Scottish), whip, whir, whiz, whop, wick, wile, will, wilt, wind, wine, wing, wink, wipe, wire, wise, wish, wisp, wist, wite, wive, woke, wolf, wont, wood, woof, word, wore, work, worm, worn, wove, wrap, writ(archaic) (71).

x-ray (1).

yack, yank, yard, yarn, yaup, yawn, yawp, yean, yell, yelp, yerk, yeuk, yock, yoke, yowl, yo-yo(informal), yuck (17).

zero, zest, zinc, zing, zone, zonk, zoom (7).

IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT

(yes there are 28 ITs)

[libidomechanica]

Since Hamlet, nor unequal: each love, for

There was proud Adonis)  kept a rainbow wroth  God shield man! Where now Io Pæn  sing; hes dozin, his huckster  put down upon the moon 

shine, the winged her  in your wine. The ones  mynd about, a possessed,  and let thy will the  worm is oer the 

fields, and memories, she handles  height as a planet,  beside them, his owne  contemporarily kept.  Haste! High triumph oer the 

dirke. His fyriefooted  ten years, the bump I ride  in losing man I had  in purpose; and mimicking  to draw in you 

denied;— love I sate to trampled  once crushed and blaze of  which so long star, thy jocund  you distilld? To have  nothing else, nor end. All her shepherds 

and call her open  without spring, it  lightheaded frae the  youthfu May its breastplate whatever  manner 

of false pales beside and  days, moved far beyond  express its begin  to swell, shall be  astonished thus bespake as that 

this must the  Fire. Shes twitter, that million,  and unfamiliar  was His Heart, consented,  thy graveyard. 

We are you to tame,  though thou would I put the  who names of the Cuppe, and  next ocean, who is  as a better toyed supportress 

sort of my beauty  morn bespoke not to judge  the day not be  so severe reprove, nor windowy  net. Sicker so after your 

heart, we had such heauye heads. First and  myself when  we meet their Masters web hung to  go alone alive with  thou need much in thy 

clearest come happy again;  love stoln from those who look  so mild and rang Citied  ear.      And the gaps between  love and so 

night, my suppliant that loue you forgive  you doest buds of  reapers! beyond  siroccos harvest of  hands … whose head spokes. Lambent for 

ever a spire  of thy early woke to  weare blest with a  rubber did her who love  were Elisa 

rest, or quiet widow all  alone is the  salt again, pass, the  sea mermaids singing a  wind blood thine eares pull down, as 

on any shew the  hermits fair began  to flying. O Mercury  who since between us—  it will, for 

love sight. Being pawes as  the omen! “It  grievd your Pleasure of light,  have I come heats are on  mine eyes, where your 

and a sort of desires  and proud waters charms, faded  home, as in  heavens (said she,” who, thought, I felt my  bless though I blind half of 

paradise, and leave me, and  with feet to  your mothers seat, might keeps him  weary day till Serpent  in furrow, as is foiled.

[shachathabrah]

Your real feelings on Dirk, Flora, and Jingle

im counting this as three

dirk is really great and yeah some people might not really get what i see in him but thats ok cause like i can ask the same of a lot of people that are seeing one another on this website but he does a lot of good he hangs out with me a lot when im feeling down and he gives me attention that feeds into desires that arent just raw physical pleasure which is confusing but theyre less confusing when theyre sated i guess its just a good thing and i have strong warm feelings for him that i like and want to hold onto cause tbh as confusing as shit gets its nice to have someone thatll just pet your hair and exist in the same space as you and not judge you for all the weird shit youre feeling or be as confused as you are

flora is great and i enjoy having her live in my house cause shes my second friend but i feel like she gets in her own head too much and turns herself inside out to try and talk to people about the simplest things and it can get messy and its not like im mad it just kinda sucks that she thinks too much about things and gets misunderstood or says something in a state of mild panic and hurts her own feelings i wish she would like idk meditate or something she needs a good break to relax and not have herself wound tight like a spring i care about her a lot and just want good stuff for her im happy shes got a dude that she likes and that likes her and ill break his legs if hes not nice to her

uhh whats not to feel about jingle hes adorable for one thing hes got this cute face that i wanna pinch his cheeks and i just want the best for him tbh which reminds me the best can come in the form of sex toys i gotta actually get and send those else ill just get him an adam and eve giftcard or something but anyway hes sweet and says sweet stuff and just clenches my fist jingles great

[nakadoo]

bec im a garbage can i wrote about aroace jake and dirk overcoming his broken heart

Your name is Dirk Strider and it's been three months since your already jaded heart got broken by a boy with the greenest eyes you've ever gazed in to. It's been hard, that's much is true, and the only reason you haven't broken down and cried for a week is because you've already done that. You did it the moment you broke up with him, via text no less, then shattered your phone against the wall in your heartbroken frustration.

A whole week spent laying in bed, urging yourself to sleep instead of dealing with the ache of your heart and the buzz of your mind telling you that it was your fault, your fault, your fault, and you didn't do anything to fix it, that you ending it and cutting him out of your life was the most cowardly abscond in history ever. You hate yourself, for a whole week and then some, but even then you've been nothing but pragmatic. A week after tears and forced sleep and your brother walking on eggshells to keep you company to the best of his ability, you suck it up and put on your mask and your shades and try to pretend that you were okay. Things will probably get better, and it's never been a good idea to dwell on things anyway.

If Jake didn't want you in his life then that was fine. You kind of understood where he was coming from. Sometimes, you can't even handle yourself. The only reason Dave puts up with your shit is because you've known each other since you were babies, you grew up together, the two of you understand each other without needing to communicate it much. You tell him you're sorry for the week of tears and the random lashing out. He tells you you owe him one. At least things at home are fine, at least home can still stay a safe place.

You delve into your work, you create with your hands, and try to be happy. You try to imagine your life before Jake stepped in and stole your heart and broke it. It's easy because Dave is there and he acts like everything is fine, that you'll be fine, and sometimes  you believe it because the only other option is to acknowledge your sadness and grief and less than savory thoughts.

Roxy talks to you. Not about Jake, thankfully, but about everything else. She's always been good at that, avoiding the topic but letting you know that she was aware of it and that if you were ready to talk she'd be there all ears and no judgment at all. Sometimes you wish you fell in love with her instead. The two of you already got a lot of chemistry, she understands you like no other and when she doesn't she makes the effort to. She makes you talk about the things you don't like talking to, but she never forces you. She always makes you feel that you're worth something, she always makes you feel that there is someone out there who loves you despite all your faults.

Two months in and you're getting better. Honestly you're dealing with it much better than you thought you would. Though you don't get to talk to Jane as often as you used to, she still sends you little snippets of her life through pictures and little stories when she has the time.

Dave, thank god for Dave, the biggest constant in your life. Always punctual and always on time— he always sets time aside for you especially when you ask for it. He's honestly the only person you'd ever ask for help without the shame knife twisting in your gut. Because you know the sacrifices he makes for you, you would do the same.

You meet a guy named Equius. The best friend of Dave's weird cat friend. He likes horses. He likes building robots. He would like to maybe hang out one time to build robots and afternoons later you're constantly over at his place tinkering with metalwork and wires and talking robotics with someone who understands. It's good, it's nice, and the first robot you complete together is a little metallic horse the size of a cat. It doesn't do much, honestly its more like a noisy roomba where the vacuum is in it's hooves, but its kinda cute in a weird way and you two make several more. Equius' apartment turns into a little robot horse rodeo, and you're amused by this and the awkward way Equius tries to explain to his neighbors that nothing illegal is going on.

The cat girl, Nepeta, you thought that maybe she was dating Dave but she's not. She's so different from the type of people Dave usually surrounds himself with so you're a little bit surprise to know that they're honest to god good friends who go on friend dates to the movies or at the mall or just playing with Nepeta's many many cats. You're... Happy that your little brother has someone like her, someone who's emotional baggage wasn't as terrible as yours. He's always all smiles after their friend dates, and he's always so much happier too.

It's weird when you start to feel happiness again. It's also pretty weird to realize that, though you've been enjoying your time with Equius, you kind of forgot what it was like to feel happy. Well, either way, you're glad that emotion is back in your system because you've missed the way a smile feels on your own face.

You and Dave clash swords that night. You sweat up a storm, but when you're both panting for breath at the end of the afternoon you can't help but bust out a wide grin full of teeth and dimples— even as Dave cuts a considerably big chunk of hair when you're caught off guard.

Three months, three months, three months. You feel fine. You're starting to wonder if you ever liked Jake to begin with. You start to wonder that maybe you liked him because he was your closest friend. Maybe you liked him because when you suggested the relationship he had said yes. You're not sure; maybe it was a spur of the moment, maybe you were just so desperate for a relationship that you threw everything into the one you had with Jake. You're not sure, and you're not sure of a lot of things, and it keeps you awake at night.

Three months is when you see Jake again. It's late at night and you were just going down to the 7/11 for a soda when you see him leaning against the door of a relatively expensive looking car.

You want to escape when your eyes lock. You really do. But his eyes are so fucking green even under the poor lights of the moon and the gross yellow street lights, and the awkward smile he gives you accompanied by a wave of his hand is enough to get you to stop. You're frozen even as he approaches you and before you can even begin to convince yourself to run he's in front of you.

"Hey..." he says quietly, nervous like you've never seen him before.

You bite your tongue, but you mange an even quieter "hey" in response.

He shoves his hands in his pockets, kicks the dirt under his shoe, as his mind whirs for the words he wants to say. Jake has always been a man of action with a foot in his mouth. "I suppose a 7/11 parking lot isn't really the best place to be having the conversation that I've been meaning to have with you."

You want to feel angry, but you're not. Okay, maybe you are a little angry, but you're civil enough to keep that in check. You don't say anything in reply.

"Was quite a shock to see you here," he says, filling in the silence as he awkwardly fumbles in his attempt to remain casual. "But I guess I'm glad to see you, else I woulda put this off longer than I already have." It's not that you're giving him the silent treatment, you just don't know what to say. But he takes your silence as consent to continue. He looks around, rubs at the back of his neck. "But this really isn't the nicest place to talk about... things... So if it's alright with you could we catch some lunch tomorrow? The usual place."

You bite your lip. You should say no. Your head nods and you hate yourself a little bit.

"Alright," he says with a relieved sigh. He grabs your arm, scribbles his number on your skin. "I figured you might've deleted me from your contacts," he says and he doesn't sound like he's upset by that at all.

"Oi, English!" a voice calls. You both turn just as Jake writes the last digit. "Let's go already, geeze!" A stranger who looks too snooty to be coming out of a 7/11 walks up to the car, glaring at Jake expectantly.

"It was nice to see you again," Jake grins at you, capping the marker before shoving it in his pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow," he waves as he leaves but turns around once and considers his words before blurting them out. "But, uh, I guess if you get cold feet that's alright too. Just shoot me a text." He gets into the car and it drives away.

You stare at the digits, knowing deep in your heart, that he didn't have to write them down. You still have it memorized anyway.

The next day, at the usual place. You didn't tell Dave. The whole cool kid routine you both have going on is easily disturbed when it comes to each other. Dave's protective of you, you're protective of him. If he knew who you were meeting he would have offered to come along.

You see Jake before he comes in. He's with that guy from yesterday, and another dude you don't know. He exchanges words with them, a little argument with no heat, before the other two leave and he walks up to your table and sits down. He looks out the window, where the other two are looking back, and waves them off like a kid urging his embarrassing parents away. Thankfully they leave but not without giving you a significant look first. You try not to think about what it could mean.

"So uh listen, Dirk," Jake pulls your attention back to him. His dimples are so attractive. "I know that things between us didn't exactly..." he does a weird gesture with his hands. "Go as we had thought."

"Understatement of the year," you tell him, your first words to him in months.

He smiles apologetic. It sates the simmering anger in you for a moment. "I guess," he agrees. "Well, I'm not trying to make excuses, and I really hope you don't take this as one..."

You nod. You'll let him talk all he wants. You deserve to hear what he has to say, and right now you're in control enough of your emotions and you know that you wont take him back instantly if that's what he wants.

"Don't take this the wrong way," he says and twiddles his thumbs. "I was kind of... relieved when you said it was over."

You try not to take it the wrong way. It kind of stings.

He tells you how suffocated he felt and how uncertain of everything too. He tells you that, after the time you've spent apart, he got to know himself better and started to understand why he was feeling the way he was while you two were dating. "I don't have romantic feelings for you," he tells you. "I don't think I ever did."

Internally, you are floundering. "Then why—"

He holds his hand up. You shut your mouth. "I don't think I have a single romantic bone in my body," he tells you. He looks down, as if he could really see his bones, then back up at you with a little wry grin. "Not a sexual one either."

You press your lips together. You're not sure what to say.

"And I guess that's what bothered me. I liked you but it never felt like it was enough considering we were boyfriends," he explains. "It felt like you were giving me so much, and I wasn't really giving anything back."

You nod fiercely. It felt exactly like that.

"It made me feel... Awful. I thought that maybe I should take the next step, that being letting you bed me," he doesn't turn red like you expect him to. You thought that maybe he was shy about the whole sex bit of the relationship, or not ready for it, but that's not his reaction at all. "But then... I didn't think I could do that. I didn't... Uhm, no offence again chum, but the idea of sleeping with anyone sent goosebumbs all over."

Things are starting to make sense. "You're asexual." Its a statement not a question.

"Yeah. I didn't know that was a thing until recently. I am also, apparently, aromantic as well," he tells you and he looks like he's proud for remembering that word.

You want to forgive him. He's genuine, always is and always will be. But there are still some things you have to get off your chest, and you're not gonna run away from problems anymore. "I hated what you did to me," you tell him finally. The first month you'd been making raps about how much you hated him and his guts. Now you can finally filter those feelings to him, but in a way that involved less swearing and irony. "You ignored me instead of talking to me about how you were feeling about everything."

He looks unhappy to admit it but he nods. "I was a coward is what."

Your expression softens considerably. "I was too," you tell him. "But you really made me feel like it was all my fault."

"It wasn't!" he jumps up, both his hands gripping at the table. "I swear to you Dirk, it wasn't your fault. That was all on me, and I'm really sorry!"

"It..." you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose under your shades. "It wasn't just you," you tell him. "I'm sorry too."

He lets out a sigh of relief again and sags against his chair. "If you wanna give me a bruise, I won't stop you," he says. "I think I deserve that."

You raise your fist, he flinches as you throw it towards him. But you stop yourself half an inch before your fist hits his face, and instead you just touch his cheek with your knuckles. "I'm a full grown adult Jake," you say with a soft laugh. "I can solve problems with words."

"But sometimes it feels good to use your fists too."

You can't argue with that, but you're in public and you can't exactly punch him even if you wanted to.

"I do want my friend back though," he tells you after a beat of silence. "I really miss you."

You feel a flutter at your chest. It is relief. "I missed you too."

He leans in, for a hug, and you hug him over the small coffee table and spill some of your coffee everywhere. It's kind of embarrassing, but you miss him. Before he was your boyfriend he was your bestfriend, and you didn't want to lose him.

When you separate finally you move from sitting across him to sitting next to him. You take your coffee, sip, and then smile. "So who were those guys?"

"Oh!" he smiles. "They're my new neighbors! They're a delight, I'm sure you'd get along!"

Honestly, you don't completely forgive him. Not yet. But you've missed him dearly and you suppose the road to forgiveness has never been that easy anyway.

[Softly,,,, The dude at 7/11 with jake was Eridan,, ,, jakes neighbors,,,, are eridan and sollux,,,, erisolsprite <> jake has been a weakness of mine]

[sburbanfantasy-blog]

"Thanks. I'm at the Clock Tower most of the day, being a nocturnal bloodsucker and all."

Dirk puts on his helmet.

"Don't worry about me biting anyone though. I feed on cattle when I need to sate my live blood cravings, but OJ settles the Vitamin D needs."

There seems to be a maroon Gundam doing laps in front of Mount Olympus.

Jade shows up in a mech-suit of her own. She assumed that the Gundam was one of Eridan’s.

[allcatsaregreyt]

You hate this inexplicable urge to communicate in nothing but song lyrics. You can use Google, sure, but you don’t know songs for all of your emotions, and it’s frustrating. Even your thoughts are musical. You’re drinking cold blood by the bottle, but it’s not sating you. This one is sweeter, you think it’s Cherry’s. Ugh.

You rub your hand over your face, tell Mituna it’s just juice, and return to your room. This is fuckin’ awful. The situation, not the blood. It’s actually rather tasty, copperyness aside.

You’d love to try it warm.

Hnn fuck these hunter instincts no you are NOT going to hunt down Cherry. Fuck. Fucking. FUCK. You rinse the bottle in the bathroom sink when you’re finished. Then you clean your mouth of the taste and just lean on the door. Instead of craving bulge you’re craving intimacy, so you suppose the magic’s worked. You want Dirk, but you’re not going to risk it. You don’t want to drain him, to take away that precious energy he needs to heal. He’s got other mates.

He doesn’t need you.

Fuck.

[junker-town]

Monta Ellis' downfall shows how he's one of the last of a dying NBA breed

Ellis never changed, even while the NBA did. That’s why he’s unsigned. But it’s also too bad.

We’re two weeks from NBA training camp, and Monta Ellis remains unmoored from the league. The Indiana Pacers, who are rebooting after losing Paul George’s heart, decided to waive Ellis in early July and stretch his salary cap hit over five years.

The timing ought to have given Monta, just 31 years old, an opportunity to find a new home. More than two months later, this has not happened. Neither has he jumped ship to the Chinese Basketball Association, a proper next step for score-first guards seeking money and fame in the wake of NBA rejection.

Is this the end of Monta Ellis? Shall we never again have too much Monta, or enough Monta at all to sate our needs? Will Monta never again have it all?

If this is the end, we should take stock of what the full breadth of the Monta Ellis experience offered.

Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

Ellis entered the league in the infamous 2005 NBA Draft, the last of the prep-to-pro era. Monta was one of a record nine high school players taken in that draft, and one of six taken in the second round.

Of those six players, five played in the NBA — C.J. Miles, Monta, Lou Williams, Andray Blatche, and Amir Johnson -- and had relatively long, lucrative careers. Only Blatche is firmly out of the league. The five players have made a combined $278 million (and counting) in the NBA without playing college ball. This is heady company.

Ellis instantly became a rotation player for a mediocre Warriors team. Stephen Jackson arrived a year later and Baron Davis stayed healthy. Don Nelson returned to the sidelines making Monta a featured player. This team became the We Believe! Warriors. The Dubs snuck into the playoffs as a No. 8 seed and knocked off the Mavericks, embarrassing their NBA MVP and future Monta hype man, Dirk Nowitzki.

The Warriors were much better the following season. Jackson got MVP buzz and Monta actually won Most Improved Player over Kevin Martin (never forget) after averaging 20 points per game. Yet, the vagaries of the West kept Golden State out of the playoffs despite 48 wins. This constituted the death of We Believe!

In the 2008 offseason, Davis opted out of his contract at the last possible moment to flee to his hometown of Los Angeles and join Elton Brand, except Elton Brand fled the Clippers to join the Sixers (one of the great WTF July 1s in league history).

The Warriors invested in Monta with a six-year, $66 million deal. They’d build around Ellis, Jackson, a cast of other solid players like Corey Maggette and Jamal Crawford, and some draft picks like Summer League Legend Marco Belinelli, Anthony Randolph, and Brandan Wright.

Except Monta crashed his moped after signing the contract, injuring himself badly. The Warriors suspended Ellis without pay for 30 games and Golden State lost a ton of games, as Jackson and Nelson checked out. It became a tank season of sorts; the Warriors ended up in the No. 7 slot, picking one Stephen Curry.

After two years and change that included watching Curry rise alongside a promising Klay Thompson and an ownership change, the Warriors traded Monta to the Bucks for an injured Andrew Bogut in March 2012. This allowed the tank to continue one more year. The Warriors needed to avoid losing their pick and trading a healthy, still good Monta for a broken Bogut helped Golden State land Harrison Barnes.

Monta was extremely popular with the Warriors faithful, and for good reason. He was the last real vestige of the team’s last awesome team (no shots at Andris Biedrins). He’d been the Warriors’ best, most exciting player for years, though Curry was quickly supplanting him in the pecking order. When new franchise owner Joe Lacob came to center court to honor Chris Mullin at a jersey retirement ceremony, fans booed the hell out of him.

That was the single most glorious representation of what Monta had built simply by being awesome. The man who rescued Warriors fans from the tragic Chris Cohan era got booed off the court for trading Monta. It remains a wonderful monument.

Unfortunately, that was the peak for Monta.

The Warriors were proven correct as Curry, Thompson, and the rest thrived, winning at least two championships as Steph became the first unanimous MVP ever. The remaining monuments built for Monta were largely jokes at his expense.

Stays in Milwaukee, Dallas, and Indiana provided only glimpses of what young Monta had meant to Golden State. It also gave ammunition to his critics. Ellis continued to put up numbers and soak up minutes, but to what end?

Despite the birth of Playoff Monta — a moniker heralded Ellis’ big postseason numbers — in Dallas, our hero never won another playoff series after the spring of We Believe! In the end, Monta became his caricature: an out-of-vogue empty stats, poor shooting two-guard.

This legacy lives on in his heirs. Shabazz Muhammad, a single-minded scorer like early Monta, didn’t get a hefty contract coming off of his rookie deal. He had his qualifying offer rescinded by the Wolves, only to find a sparse market awaiting him. On Tuesday he signed a deal to return to Minnesota for the minimum.

Who would Monta be if he’d debuted in 2015 instead of 2005? How would the league and its fans assess the proto-Dion Waiters, albeit more quiet and country? Is there room for score-first slashers who soak up high volumes without the associated efficiency we now demand?

That Waiters signed for $52 million over four years this summer is a positive sign. Remember that Dion first had to show out for Miami for pocket change in 2016-17, having found no interest in free agency.

How fitting that by crashing his moped, Monta sparked the league’s full transition toward shooting over slashing and its rebirth as a league of Steph Currys.

That incident landed Curry, the best shooter ever, in an environment where the eventual management team would go all in on efficiency and shooting at the expense of any real focus on dribble penetration. That marriage is revolutionizing the NBA as we speak.

Curry would win two MVPs as a high-scoring guard while rarely playing at the rim. Meanwhile, the Montas of the world are just barely hanging on in the NBA, with only the most exceptional versions — DeMar DeRozan, Waiters — thriving. Even Monta, just 31 years old, can’t find a place in this new league.

The era that bred Monta is gone, and now perhaps he is too. Neither Monta nor his aesthetic brethren were perfect. There is so much to love about the style of Curry, Klay, and the new breed of gunners.

But something is lost when the importance of the latter leaves no room for the former. Let’s hope some of what made Monta possible survives in his heirs.

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“”)

 He heart of much the world, were  bounties of your love, at anchord  at all before, by some are shall feel with  unsettled: there beautee and comfort, —   white-haird  flaws—set off our case our 

need nor use thing alone  from the faintly. My poems epic  brethren gone before me—the sacking  itself, the salt sea strawe. But a little this,  that best acquainted, 

a tinkerings, no less thou  be afraid, and almost 30 years? D senseless  master now what, than fiction, who like soldiers  of tree; thy glory on the rightly from  the agèd knight Id 

known and to meet again  it is that she was  sent; for hour, they lead the  Titanic strife. S only sin when that  they shouldst have a sort of 

that a word is its  struggles stars, how long the same, as  he sate, but not have new-born goddess pind for  which th Atlantic isles; or the  folded he shal yeldė to 

him leaves lay scatterd to  cloudy rack slow and unload all  connect (so made out my flocke bears thy lightly me, yet nearer  air. What thou, complete, for shesfar out-of- tune worn viol, a good manners 

the stairs, or not,—the  rose-buds in their form this english  green sweeter than it to tame  fool of verray jangleresse, and over who with  those pure lost my fingers, you open 

this worth, and the  promises draw the sight, thrust full-grown  hungry for lovers did there were vain;  there a sultans everblooming melody, why will  continue her hearth-stone bands and 

gowden locks for hir wikkednesse,  he ready myrtles broke from shown  all together Don Juans foe. And yet still, and  their lips and makes new. For I was  wildly. You have such sooth, spare no rest,) her 

you that I under my fest  so true, that was inclined the  lowest spitefull heaven bringes relate:  enough; Titan ryseth frost to mean  for thee, Cynara! silence. 

My bag with, and show thou  think of Black men as they mought was  they rode been evenings height upon her  eyes the haplesse words burning to admire  how mordred me: yet men have seen nor 

weep: all others with thorough  prospection in maidens fall  our hollows and time I held me up  afloat, while stormy Cymon shall those of need, and  eek that my supper; well get 

me country known that have led the  silt and say, A providence all  in their tunes this my dame Alys. she thought one  to the glorious qualities escape  of usual clasp 

thee true genius, and is my  lawe, that one of noysome better in  my soul behind then—and stricken to  beg his soul to the midnight, for  could you at the daughte of 

the Sunne goe down, and tears,  and take this feele I once I  held by no means so quainted shore, down to me! A  people sheepe, O shepherd clans: that I love against  my dames by sad Vertues shown, m

any a threat: ne  euer it was a rock  and crowned the least by the roads, as  eer to oer-green, maud in you discover, yet long- drawn by morning could the ghost 

to moan and dirks they are  game as beauteous to answered  his face; in there we walked alone projects  only darts of lip, of evil, and  sweets of pearly to 

propagate the holes never  grow with care na by. And lecture,  I wont let hem gange and from his bonny  lass of Loue, and prize-money to soothing which  I choose: their severance 

and rail, and on earth, with  wives and wherever  wed whence came at birth and from Syria,  or my offender, and the vaulted,  vast, oer again i, as 

one settled clothing oer you on  a sin, because  thousand find the wormes, his  book to live land: yet nearer severance,  the will seriously.

[nofomoartworld]

Art F City: This Week’s Must-See Art Events: Virtual Reality Exhibitions and Cyberdefense Workshops

The tight stuff and the right stuff at tonight’s special event with @babycastles –@di_mo_da @micahnotfound @moisesnotfound @akaprash @princessgollum and many more superstars 7-10pm Only @vrworldnyc #virtuallyexcited #actuallyexcited

A post shared by madabouteug (@madabouteug) on Jul 17, 2017 at 2:51pm PDT

Well, this week starts off strong. Monday we’re looking forward to checking out the new VR World NYC, which is hosting a virtual reality art show and concert until midnight. If that hasn’t sated your cyberpunk hunger, check out Lin Wang’s cyborg wigs tuesday at Gallery Sensei, the NYFA/NYSCA group show Facial Profiling at C24 Gallery on Thursday, or the “Digital Self Defense and Empowerment Workshops” happening all Saturday afternoon at the New Museum. We love when a week’s itinerary in IRL New York looks like a montage from Hackers.

M

T

W

T

S

S

Mon

VR World NYC

4 East 34th Street New York, NY 7:00 p.m. - 12:00 p.m. Website

Virtual Insanity™: VR + Music

Well this is undoubtedly the coolest thing happening on a Monday night this summer. Babycastles is presenting a virtual reality art show and concert at VR World NYC.

Among the highlights is the Digital Museum of Digital Art, which Paddy and I have both experienced and raved about. It’s seriously one of the best art-viewing experiences you can have this week, so get yourself there ASAP.

Artists: Alfredo Salazar-Caro and his virtual institution Di Mo DA, Art 404, Haleek Maul, James Orlando, HYPER.ZONE, LaJuné McMillian, Michelle Cortese, Michelle Senteio, Nicole Ruggiero, Prashast Thapan

Live performances by: Icarus Moth, RAFiA, Haleek Maul

Tue

Gallery Sensei

135 Eldridge Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Website

Lin Wang: Tenant, Tranant, Trance

This show is only up for two days, a unusual duration for an installation that has to do, on some level, with time. Lin Wang’s semi-narrative installation alludes to past tenants of a surreal domestic space, which itself is somewhat anachronistic—referencing a cyborg future where the synthetic and prosthetic wait to merge with absent bodies. The artist has created a series of household appliances associated with comfort (fans, massage chairs, etc.) combined with wigs. Picture mounds of artificial hair quivering in anticipation of contact with a user. So creepy, yet so alluring.

Artists Space

55 Walker Street New York, NY 7:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Website

People's Cultural Plan Launch

This looks good: Mychal Johnson, community activist and member of South Bronx Unite, and artist Chloë Bass will discuss the ins and outs of the People’s Cultural Plan. It’s a grass-roots, social-justice focused alternative to the Department of Cultural Affairs’ CreateNYC plan, which launches this week. The guiding principles here are de-gentrification, cultural equity, and labor equity—three things the city desperately needs, in particular for the survival of the arts.

The event features drinks, opportunities for discussion and mingling, and translators in Chinese and Spanish. This is a great opportunity to meet other artists thinking politically and getting involved in the interrelated labor/gentrification struggles happening now in New York.

Wed

Equity Gallery

245 Broome Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Website

Liana Finck: Passing for Human

Liana Finck is the most millennial comic artist I can think of for several reasons. For one, her pen-and-ink melancholic musings on relationships, existential angst, and the never-ending stresses of being a broke 20-something are relatable and often hilarious. Also, she’s built her fan base out of her popular Instagram account. Here’s a chance to see her work (some 80 drawings!) IRL.

EFA Project Space

323 West 39th Street New York, NY 7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.Website

Setting 1880-1920 / Dinner Party

Liliana Dirks-Goodman’s theatrical dinner party/lecture/performance will introduce guests to “the utopian design visions of seven first-wave white feminists” who lived in the decades surrounding the turn of the last century. This is the era when a lot of social “progressives” advocated for urban planning, design, and architectural movements intended to better the lives of the poor and immigrants. We often hear about men’s grand visions for the “city beautiful” or Garden City movements, but the fact that many of these visionaries and activists were women is often overlooked. Their different perspective was often aimed at improving the lives of women as well.

The dinner (arguably the most highly-gendered domestic social activity of the 20th Century) will be prepared by chef Kristin Worral, who will use recipes from Rumford Kitchen’s cookbook.

Thu

MX

167 Canal Street, 5th floor New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Website

My fossil, my echo / my excess, my scrap

This exhibition is curated around the idea of anxieties related to the index.  The curatorial statement, from Gabrielle Jensen and Julia Lee, is a bit dense, but the show looks really promising. Chiefly, the concern here seems to be what becomes of an object once it is a record or fragment of itself?

I’m excited to see Carmen Neely included in this exhibition. When I met her on a studio visit years ago I was convinced she’d be an art star. Her work includes personified abstract forms that jump from piece to piece, personal objects embedded in canvases, and plenty of autobiographical ephemera worked into painterly compositions. It definitely fossilizes some weird stuff, and does it charmingly.

Artists: Cristine Brache, Isabel Legate, Carmen Neely, Kayode Ojo, Patrice Renee Washington

C24 Gallery

560 West 24th Street New York, NY 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. Website

Facial Profiling

Curated by David C. Terry, this show looks at identity through the lens of seven NYSCA/NYFA Artists. The artists here touch on issues such as “the observed self, the portrayal of individuals as well as the perceived and projected self, and how we interpret/project imagery as portrait.” Included among the seven is master of selfies/constructed identity Sean Fader, so expect there to be a dash of humor among what could otherwise be heady navel gazing.

Artists: Samira Abbassy, Kwesi Abbensetts, Geoffrey Chadsey, Sean Fader, Michael Ferris Jr. , Kymia Nawabi, Oliver Wasow

Sat

New Museum

235 Bowery New York, NY 1:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Website

Digital Self-Defense and Empowerment Workshops

In conjunction with the exhibition Paul Ramírez Jonas: Half-Truths, the New Museum has teamed up with Equality Labs and NEW INC residents DATA X and Taeyoon Choi to offer an afternoon of workshops about surveillance and autonomy in the digital age. So spend a muggy Saturday nerding out to all your hacker fantasies in the New Museum’s air conditioning.

Here’s the rundown of workshops:

1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Handmade Computers with Taeyoon Choi—learn how to assemble a basic computer that can perform addition, keep time, and store memory! It’s free, but requires registration by emailing season@newmuseum.org .

3:15 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. Data Selfie with DATA X—DATA X is a creative studio that believes in transparency. Here, they’ll be demonstrating their browser add-on Data Selfie, which tracks the way sites such as Facebook track your data, giving the user a peak at how corporations and their algorithms view us. Register here.

4:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. Digital Self-Defense with Equality Labs—Equality Labs, “a South Asian women’s, gender non-conforming, and trans tech collective” will present a workshop about protecting one’s information in the age of the surveillance state. This is pretty useful stuff as the world becomes more and more like William Gibson’s worst authoritarian nightmare. The event is limited to 30 participants, so be sure to register here ASAP.

Pine Box Rock Shop

12 Grattan St Brooklyn, NY 2:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. Website

Meowmania! A Cat Party in Brooklyn

It is Summer in New York City, which means our art event guides tend to be a little heavier on events that are just ridiculous or activism-oriented than usual due to the dearth of art openings. This event is both.

Bring your leashed cat to partake in activities such as a cat photobooth, games, cat-themed drink specials, and a cat costume contest. The whole event is a fundraiser for local cat rescue programs, so all of this “basically internet circa 2012” style shenanigans is at least for a good cause.

Sun

Brooklyn Museum

200 Eastern Parkway Brooklyn, NY 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. Website

Performance in the Park: Maren Hassinger's "Pink Trash"

As part of the Brooklyn Museum’s exhibition We Wanted a Revolution: Black Radical Women, 1965–85, Maren Hassinger will be re-staging her 1982 performance “Pink Trash” in Prospect Park. The piece was an important reflection on public space, labor, and “maintenance art���, and seeing it performed three decades later is bound to be something special.

Tickets are $25, but you get a lot of bang for your buck:

1:00 p.m. Special tour of We Wanted a Revolution and conversation with co-curator Rujeko Hockley and Maren Hassinger

2:00 p.m. Walk to Prospect Park

2:15 p.m. Performance of “Pink Trash”

from Art F City http://ift.tt/2u3fqKa via IFTTT

[3one3]

The Sequel - 784

Los Tres Reyes Magos

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea players, and random awesome OC’s

(okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“So it was fun?”

“Yeah, so much fun. They definitely had no idea who I am but all kids like people who bring them presents, so...Oh and the ponies were really nice. I don’t know if you could tell from the picture. I thought for the price they were gonna be kind of junky but they’re well made and such a good size to cuddle or put under your head. So many of the kids didn’t have their own pillows. They just had the flat, terrible, awful hospital pillows. Now they can use their ponies if they want.”

“They probably love them. I’m glad it was good for you, Prinzessin. Are you on your way home now?”

“Yeah in a little bit. We just got back. My stuff was upstairs so-“

“Do you want to call me back once you get home? I want to hear the whole story and talk to Mausi.”

“Why don’t you call Espen and check in with him now, and I’ll call you back later after he’s in bed? I want to have time to talk...about today...and...last night.”

“Did it change anything?”

“Not at all.”

“Then I don’t need to hear about it. But yeah, call me whenever. I have dinner at 8 my time.”

“Okay. I’ll call after that. Your knee still feels okay?”

“We haven’t done much yet but yes.”

“Good. I wanna hear about the resort too.”

“I’ll take some pictures for you. And Chris?”

“Mm?”

“I’ll listen if you want to talk about the other thing. I was just saying...I don’t need to hear the story.”

“K. Love you.”

“Love you. Later.”

Precious and perfect. He is precious and perfect, Christina reiterated about her partner, who expressed no regrets or resignations when she told him on Thursday morning about what she did on Wednesday night. He was getting on an airplane at the time and couldn’t discuss it further, but he legitimately sounded okay with it, and that was true later in the day when she got back from Spain too. André obviously didn’t sound thrilled or excited about it, but his voice and his words betrayed nothing worse than that. And the rider was completely honest when she assured him, for the third time actually, that what she did with her best friend on Wednesday night changed nothing in her heart or her head. It was definitely a moving experience, and one she got very wrapped up in- intoxicated by, consumed with, enveloped in- but the intensity of her feelings during the act lessened hand in hand with the chemicals it made in her brain. As the aftereffects receded, so did the feeling in her heart that she couldn’t possibly love anyone more than she loved Juan when he said and did all the right things, and displayed a deep and comprehensive understanding of everything that was important to her. It blew her mind that he could demonstrate that understanding so implicitly just through making love. He showed her that he knew her weaknesses, her guilty pleasures, her unhealthy tendencies, her fears, her un-sated desires, and exactly how to exploit those among that list that would make her feel good, and feel loved, and feel understood. Just knowing that her greatest need was to feel understood gave him a leg up on everyone else in her life.

The most significant understanding the Spaniard demonstrated to her was that she liked him selfish and controlling in bed and needed and relied upon him to always put his interests second everywhere else. Christina wanted to be taken advantage of and used for his pleasure in the sheets. She wanted him to do whatever made him feel good. That made her happy, and fueled her excitement. She liked to give up something of herself to him. When he pointed out the distinction, he was alluding to her need for him not to put his wishes first in other contexts. For example, he wanted her and he wanted her to leave André, and it would make sense for his agenda if he used every opportunity to point out the signs and evidence that she cared more for him than the German, like the few times he forced her to think about why it was okay to hurt André or do things she knew he wouldn’t appreciate just so that she could do things with him instead. He could stay close and keep the pressure on when their relationship became intense. He could lobby against her husband when she told him about their problems instead of make excuses for him or help her try to understand what he was thinking. There were countless ways Juan could do more to help himself get what he wanted, and he rarely employed them. When he did, he often apologized and recommitted to not doing it again. That was his selfless desire to avoid making her life harder. It took a long time for the rider to accept that he chose that for her sake and that it wasn’t just a sign that he didn’t care enough about her to want to go to the trouble to get her. He once told her that if he fought for her, she was the one who would suffer. And that bore out. It was still bearing out. So she loved him ever more for allowing her hypocrisy, and protecting her.

“Do you want to come do this yourself? I don’t know how much honey and lemon you want,” the player told her from his kitchen. She’d been losing her voice on and off all day, and her throat hurt. Her voice was almost nonexistent when she woke up, then it came back, then it was just hoarse, then gone again, then fine. He made tea for her when she accompanied him home to get her overnight bag and her car keys.

“Thanks. I hope this helps,” she grumbled a little once she got up to compose her remedy. “I have an online magazine or blog or something coming to the barn tomorrow to talk about my “10 secrets to success”.”

“I hope you’re not sick, because whatever you have I have now too,” Juan pointed out.

“I’m not. This is actually your fault,” Christina teased. “I get cold sores and my throat hurts whenever I kiss a foreign mouth.”

“How do I know you’re not just trying to back out of the promise you made last night?”

“Because I’m still down to do what I promised if you want,” she laughed. “After I drink this. And to be completely honest, I think I just lost my voice yelling at Stef and Kyle yesterday in their lessons.” The Spaniard put his arm around her waist while she stirred the tea and squeezed the lemon into the cup, and he kissed her temple. The two gestures melted her casual smile. “I need to make something clear, I think...”

“Okay?”

“It’s okay that we did what we did last night, and it can happen again sometime, or it can happen in different ways, whatever. But it can’t be...we can’t...it’s not going to be like we’re together, you know? Obviously in public it can’t be like that but I don’t want it to be like I’m your girlfriend when we’re alone. This sounds worse than I mean it to,” she sighed, staring into her swirling tea. “We’re not going to kiss and hold hands and be a couple when we hang out. It can’t be like that.” Juan took his arm away and put his hand in his pocket, taken aback maybe. Her warning did come out of nowhere. They didn’t have the time or wherewithal to be affectionate and “coupley” in the morning. It was early and they were tired. And then Antonio picked them up to go to the airport and when they all landed in Spain they were friends on a charity mission. Obviously they weren’t going to kiss and hold hands when they went to pick up the toys at Real Oviedo or when they went to deliver them to the hospital.

Once they started going around to meet the kids and their families, it wasn’t even an issue. Nothing about Christina’s own life could trouble her in that setting. It was too sad at first, and then once she got over being uncomfortable with the reality and the tubes and the machines and the pallor, and could focus only on the reactions of the kids in the midst of all that, the rider enjoyed her visit. Juan did most of the talking in the beginning. Most but not all of the kids knew him, and even more knew the other Oviedo players who tagged along to help. Obviously she knew what he was like with kids- that he could be awkward with them at first too but usually found a way to relate or connect with them- but it was still fun to watch him. He helped her get involved and talk to the patients too. At one point she sat in the community room where sick kids and their siblings could go to play whenever they were up to it instead of being alone in their treatment rooms, and she drew some pictures with them. They might have smelled “mom” on her, or just being female gave her an advantage, but the children all seemed to want to find out what she was all about. The young ones liked her toys. Some of the older girls just seemed excited to meet a pretty young woman who was followed around by cameras, especially when Juan introduced her as a professional rider and model.

He was completely right about the experience being a big help. Nothing puts one’s problems into perspective like spending time with terminally ill children, or even just kids temporarily sick but still going through hell. Meeting the parents really hit her too. She could live in lifelong purgatory between loving André and loving Juan. She didn’t know if she could handle Lukas getting sick like that. And she couldn’t believe how resilient those little people proved. They weren’t depressed or resigned to their fate. There were smiles all around, and positive attitudes. Christina knew from getting to know Dirk’s #1 fan that kids could be like that. It didn’t hurt to get a reminder. There was no need to talk about sex or relationship statuses or expectations after wrapping up their trip. She only wanted to talk to Juan and his friend about the kids. They shared their personal takes on the interactions like people excited after a football match and unable to stop the stream of consciousness from spilling out.

“So we can have sex now but not the other stuff we had before?” he questioned.

“No, I- I mean...it can be like it was before. I just don’t want you to think that every time we hang out we’re going to hook up, or sleep together, or whatever else. Otherwise I’m breaking my promise to him and doing something I don’t think is right. We used to be like partners without the sex, so not really partners. Now if we have sex then it’s like we have all the elements of being in that kind of relationship and that’s not what I want. We have to thread the needle, kind of. Like...really, really close friends with benefits? This isn’t making any sense, is it? I am definitely talking about something that doesn’t exist.” The equestrian star with the swollen heart and stinging throat shook and slumped her shoulders in a mini tantrum of frustration.

“How about we do what you said last night? How about nothing changes but we fuck when we feel like it? I put my arm around you and kiss you all the time. I didn’t feel an entitlement just now because of last night,” Juan explained, calm again after bristling slightly at her reaction.

“Perfect. I didn’t mind that. I just didn’t want you to have the wrong idea.” As in, we’re not going to conclude this discussion by me standing on my toes to lovingly smooch you on the lips, his ex continued in her head, just to illustrate for herself the difference- the line she was drawing in the sand to make sure she wasn’t having identical relationships with both midfielders and simply confining one to private. That wasn’t what she wanted. Something had to be different. Something had to be reserved for her spouse. It felt like a situation she’d confronted before.

“Good. Drink your tea.” The Chelsea man picked up his own cup and took a sip on his way to the sofa to relax. “Are you still trying to ride today? You have just enough time to finish that and still beat the worst of the traffic.”

“You trying to get rid of me? A minute ago you were talking about my promise to do all the activities I skipped last night.”

“No. And you don’t have to do that. You can barely speak and your throat hurts. I doubt rubbing my cock around in it is going to make it feel better.”

“Okay, but what if I have that-“ Christina paused to steady her hand and make sure she didn’t spill her drink while she relocated. “This will sound like the exact opposite of what I was just talking about but it’s really not. You know when you first start sleeping with somebody and you want to do it all the damn time? There’s like...an immediate craving? You can’t get enough?”

“Chris, you are the worst.” Juan sighed and shook his head, rueful. His new fuck buddy sensed he wasn’t as disapproving as he was trying to appear though. “You’re really going to give me a lecture about how we can’t fuck all the time while you’re dying to do it again?”

“Yes?” She blushed hard and sat next to him Indian-style. “I have no horses to ride. They all got their vaccinations and everything to keep their travel documents up to date today. We did it the romantic, significant way last night. Now I want to do it the fuck-like-crazy way.” Her slightly red and tired eyes blinked sort of bashfully at him, and that was just an act too. It was really coyness. It was really just Christina being thirsty for more than tea and trying to sell it as some innocent, non-hypocritical compulsion. “And I wasn’t lecturing! I was just advising for the future.”

“Out of curiosity, in the future, is it just going to be you calling me up and asking if you can come over because you’re horny, or do I get to do the same to you?” The player was good at being coy too, but he didn’t even bother with it. He just laughed at her, seemingly delighted by her candor.

“I love booty calls. I don’t get enough attention in life so I jump at the chance,” she deadpanned, which took some effort. He shook his head and made a disgusted face at her. “Okay,” she laughed, relenting at her ridiculous sarcasm. “But really. It can be sexy when a guy texts something dirty at 11 o’clock at night and wants to come by,” she told him with a waggle of her brows. “As long as it’s not like every other day. Other than right now, this can only be an occasional arrangement, you and me,” she clarified with some semblance of seriousness.

“Right, right, okay, I see. Can “right now” be later though? I have some things to do yet today. Or do you literally mean you want to do this right now?”

Good point, Christina thought. I’m not especially in the mood right now, and it would be weird to go from drinking tea two feet apart on the couch to just assaulting one another. That feeling has to be real too. You have to conjure up the thirst. The SPECIFIC thirst. As I said, I have the general thirst. Whenever I start hooking up with someone, evidently even when it’s someone I’ve hooked up with a million times, I get this kind of honeymoon period where I can’t get enough of it. But right this very second I’m not that desperate.

“Do you want to come over tonight after dinner? You can stay. It’s supposed to snow overnight so it’ll probably make it easier to get to training in the morning anyway,” she suggested. There was already a seduction plan coming together in her head, involving wine and wardrobe considerations. Realizing there was nothing but a blank stare happening on the footballer’s face put the brakes on her plotting. She worried that he felt as if he were being used, and not in a way he was all right with, or that he too had reservations about their relations becoming too regular a thing. He did have a girlfriend. He did love her. She could see it becoming difficult for him to carry on with both things at the same time just as it was difficult for her to figure that out. “You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to assume that you’d automatically want to do this all the time or-“

“It’s not that,” he assured with a warm smile. “I’m just thinking about the schedule- what I have to do tonight, tomorrow.”

“How about this: don’t give me an answer right now.” The rider arched a brow at him and allowed the right side of her mouth to curl up a bit too. “If you think of something you want to do...something worth driving out to my neighborhood for...then let me know what you want and I’ll make it happen for you. If your fantasy for the night is to sleep in your own bed in peace and quiet, that’s totally cool. Or if you have plans with Taylor, or make some, or...whatever.”

“And you’re not going to be upset if I never show up?” the Spanish #10 chuckled. “That’s the true test. Friends with benefits don’t get upset.”

“I will definitely not be upset.”

Christina swore to herself that it wouldn’t bother her at all if Juan never came up with a reason to come round. That letdown all girls feel when a boy doesn’t behave the way they hoped or expected was not something she wanted to add to her list of life’s difficulties. There was a Lichtenstein painting that went with the “Girl With Hair Ribbon” one in her bedroom that she always thought of when a guy disappointed her by not showing up, or canceling, or sending flowers instead of being there. “Ohhh...Alright...” is the same style, with virtually the same woman. She’s a redhead instead of a blonde, and her eyes are lighter blue. Their sad, vulnerable expressions are very similar. Instead of just looking at the viewer with hers, she’s holding a telephone. There is a comic strip-like speech bubble above her head that says “Ohhh...Alright...”. Someone has called her and broken a date, and she’s hurt, and she’s accepting it instead of breathing fire back over the line. Christina had a lifetime of feeling the way that girl looked to her. She didn’t want Juan to be one of the people giving her that feeling again.

After tea she went home to hang out with Lukas. They had lots of playtime, they had dinner together, they tried one of their new storybooks from the Christmas stash, and then Mom settled into the couch with Spencer and Lucky for extreme petting, casual wine sipping, and the new episode of Criminal Minds they missed the night before. André texted during dinner to say the team was watching a movie together afterward so he couldn’t talk until bedtime, but invited her to text him the story of her day and anything else she wanted to talk about, because he was bored anyway. She sent a million messages about the kids and the hospital. Texting was the wrong medium for discussing what happened with Juan, and she wasn’t really sure she wanted to talk about it anyhow.

“It’s walking distance to the water. I’ll probably check it out tomorrow,” the German told her when she asked about the proximity of their training camp to the beach.

“Is TT going to make you play 5-a-side in the sand? I think Bayern is doing that in Doha. I saw picssssss.”

“It’s not on the schedule. I thought it would be warmer here :(“

“Is it not?”

“It’s not t-shirt weather.”

“It’s about to snow here. I prefer that to your Spanish sun :)”

“Do you guys want it to snow?” the rider asked her terriers. She had one in her lap for petting and one snoozing between her legs. Lucky’s eyes cracked open and gently shut every half a minute or so while she rubbed his head. They enjoyed playtime with Lukas too. The better he got on his feet, the more fun they could have with him. “I would love some snow.” Snowy barn days are great. It’s fun to see the horses out in it, and the smell of the snow is nice, and it makes it feel like the barn is particularly insulated. Or really, like there’s something going on outside that makes the inside even cozier. I love snowflakes on wool coolers too. Lukas is old enough to be interested in snow now. I’m tired, Christina thought as she yawned. Her throat still hurt a little.

Perfect next 24 hours: Juanin comes over tonight to have sex in front of the fire. I’ll wear slutty underwear with extra straps or little to no coverage or something. Maybe some thigh-highs too. I kind of want to crawl over him that way...like...just rub my body all over him, the rider laughed. Kind of want to be a little drunk too, just because it’s more fun that way. Then we’ll be completely spent and pass out. I’ll make him breakfast in the morning. He likes that. And we can have coffee and read the newspaper together. Then he’ll go to work and Lulu Schü can come to the barn with me and the puppies to play in the snow while Isa gets horses ready for me, I’ll ride everybody I need to ride, and I have lessons for the boys. Which means I finally have time to catch up with Nat! She promised to bring them herself. That’ll be fun. We should go shopping soon or get dinner. By then Schü will be exhausted from probably marathon training and he’ll want to talk to me while he falls asleep for pre-dinner naptime. We’ll catch up while I make lasagna for me and the Munchkin, and-

“Are you going to go look at the barn this weekend? I’m told they still expect to be completely finished tomorrow if the weather is good and they can put the new footing down outside. You need to make sure everything is how you want it before they get all of their equipment out of there.”

Way to trample on my snow day fantasy, boyfriend. Christina’s nose scrunched up at her iPhone screen. I’m a tiny bit excited to see the horse part of the property finished, of course. It’s going to be my home for a long time, I hope. But man, I don’t want to be thinking about moving right now. If the barn is done then we’re halfway to being ready to move. Bleh.

“I guess I can. Will someone call me tomorrow to confirm? And then I can schedule a walk-through with the main guy?”

“Yes. And don’t be afraid to speak up if something is not how it should be, or not how you wanted. Even if it is how you wanted but now you want it different, you can say so. I want it to be perfect for you :))) But don’t come up with 23 things to fix just to waste time! I know how you operate, Evil Prinzessin.”

“I’ll try to get Tom to come with me. He’s the one that will be inconvenienced if they put electrical outlets in the wrong place or something.”

“Make sure he knows he gets whatever he wants too! Within reason.”

I hope the indoor came out nice, Germany’s big star reflected, having deliberately avoided news and updates about her new facility for quite a while. Holger was happy that his federation’s current best asset was coming home to Germany. It looked better that she’d train in Germany instead of the UK. That brought one half of the main future of the team back home. Daniel was staying in Belgium for the foreseeable future. The team’s future head coach already had designs on showing off Christina’s new gem of a training center. He had publications and websites chomping at the bit to get a peek. She didn’t care what anybody else would think about her place. She just wanted it to be comfortable and feel like home. For most of her equestrian life, home moved around to different barns and back again, and they all felt good because it was the same people, horses, and stuff that moved around together. She hoped anywhere with Dirk and his buddies could feel like home. And also that the slightly smaller indoor wouldn’t feel cramped. It was wood, brick, and glass, and thus a lot more expensive to build than her steel-frame arena. The cost and the design limitations of the materials meant it had to be less cavernous. On the plus side, it would be significantly warmer in the winter and blessed with lots of natural light on sunny days. Calm down, boyfriend, I’m just- The next vibration in her hand wasn’t André being impatient about her reply. It was Juan, and he knew what he wanted to do.

“What if my “fantasy” for the night is to put a pillow on your lap and watch another film with you? (and popcorn)” Christina read, her conscious supplying the Spaniard’s familiar voice for the narration. What’s wrong? “Can I come over and put my head in your lap for petting and doting” usually means “I’m depressed about something and I want attention”. He was a little weird earlier too when we were talking about tonight- when he was thinking about his schedule. I don’t even think it’s about me, or last night. Hmm. I hope he didn’t do something stupid, like go break up with Taylor. Again.

“I can make that happen. Is everything okay?”

“Yes. See you in 30.”

That means “no”. I guess he’ll tell me about it if he wants.

“Did you want to talk about last night?” André inquired, likely because she said nothing back to his last message.

“No. Nothing happened that’s worth talking about. Thank you for offering to listen though.” I wish I could talk to NAT about it instead, the expat countered in her head. A lot happened that’s worth talking to a girlfriend about. Like the specific details and how awesome it was. There is literally no one I get to brag to on this one. Schü would barf and it doesn’t count if it’s Juan. Boooooo. I should start an anonymous blog about my double life. It’s probably not exciting enough for people to read if I left out all the identifying details. It’s probably not even an interesting story if we weren’t who we are. Ho hum.

“Do you want to have phone sex later?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Tomorrow during my rest break?”

“Maybe. I need a few hours notice though so I’m not riding a horse when you call.”

“I wish I could spend a snowday in bed with you.”

“Me too :(“

“Sooooooon pretty girl.”

“I knooooooooow.”

It sucks that he’s away for an entire week. It’s not even like I can go see him if I want. Before at least I could go be with him whenever I wanted. He gets next weekend off, but I have to show a couple of days after that. In Leipzig. That’s the right country. Where actually is Leipzig though? Is it near-ish to Dortmund at all? I don’t suppose that happens to be where he’s- Oh, isn’t Leipzig kind of in that area of nothing in the eastern part of Germany that isn’t Berlin? Like Nowhereland? Or is that Dresden? It could be both. I’m literally holding a map to everywhere in the world in my hand right now, and also a Dortmund fixture list. And yet I sit here guessing.

“I think I’m overtired,” Christina mumbled to Lucky, who was in a deeper state of snooze since she stopped petting. He was unaware that she was trying to converse with him. “It’s probably good that Juanin is coming over for a movie instead of fucking my brains out. Should I go put something sexier on though just in case?” The dog lifted his head and eyed her with what she read as suspicion. Damn, son. Even the puppies don’t like it when Mom cheats on Dad. It’s not cheating though! They don’t understand! I could, at a minimum, go put a bra on. If he sucked on your boobs last night and he’s not your new boyfriend you’re trying to impress, does a bra really matter though? Probably nah. Man I would have failed as a seductress tonight, she yawned again.