#and toki would be a perfect cuddle buddy

[toomanythoughts2]

One of my more tender hearted Skwistok HCs is that Skwisgaar doesn't allow himself to be the main receiver for physical intimacy after sex until Toki. (When I mean receiver, I mean, Skwisgaar is the one curling up around someone, rather than someone curling around him.)

My example is that, we see Skwisgaar regularly letting women cuddle with him before and after sex, but he does not cuddle back. A lot of times he's just laying there. Or he's not touching anyone after sex and is sleeping apart from the others, which is fine and dandy. But I like to think that he does that because Skwisgaar canonically doesn't remember any of the women he's with and has no emotional connection with them to do those types of things.

So, when he starts sleeping with Toki, now he has an emotional connection and he knows him. He still keeps the distance but Toki isn't having it. He's a cuddler, he likes physical affection, and after sex, he wants to spend time being physically affectionate with his partner.

Toki is the first person Skwisgaar is on the receiving end of it. Toki has his arms open, got himself all situated for Skwisgaar. And Skwisgaar is so confused because people don't do that. They always want to lay on him. But Toki insists that Skwisgaar lets Toki hold him. And he's really hesitant because he doesn't do that. Why would they, they always want him to be the holder. But Skwisgaar is tired and he has a soft spot for the way Toki says his name, so he gives.

He crawls over and awkwardly lays himself on Toki. He feels too long, his arms don't know where to go, is his face in the right spot? He starts getting embarrassed because he feels so out of place. He's never pictured himself in this position. But Toki doesn't mind. He feels two arms cradle him, one positioned in his hair, holding his head close, and another caressing his shoulder and side.

He doesn't remember the last time someone's touched him without the expectation of sex. His arms start wrapping around Toki, his legs fall into place, he can feel his face relax against his chest. All at once, all of the tension he had been holding on to, vanishes. And it's amazing in its simplicity. There's nothing spectacular happening. There's no hidden meaning, no transaction. He's just laying there, in Toki's arms.

I love to imagine Skwisgaar getting these doses of genuine affection, these moments of nonsexual intimate moments where he can receive.