#and try to really keep my spaces of joy/pleasure as spaces of pure joy and pure pleasure

[whentherewerebicycles]

it is a really gorgeous morning out—crisp and sunny and totally clear—and that feels weird when everything online is so, so dark. but also I am weirdly grateful for the beautiful day and for my baby, who is as usual delighted to be alive and is currently in his crib having an animated little conversation with himself and trying to grab his toes. I think what was hardest about those first four years, especially the first couple years, was swimming every day in the horrible toxic sludge of darkness and anger and betrayal and despair. I can’t go back there. I can’t live in that perpetually heightened state of constant doomscrolling and emotional spiraling. I don’t want or plan to disconnect/disengage but I know I will have to find ways to find balance. bad things are going to happen. people whose hearts are rotten through with hate will exult publicly and shamelessly in the suffering they cause. my baby will grow up in a world that feels darker and more uncertain than the one I grew up in. but I just can’t do the thing where I wake up every single morning and let the full grief and horror of it flood my body. I am sure this means that I have a weak character or I am avoiding the reckoning or I am so insulated by privilege I can afford to turn the noise off for a bit. that is what it is. but I just gotta like. I gotta figure out how to still feel happy that it’s a beautiful day out and my baby is chatting joyfully to himself about how nice it is to be a warm cozy little baby in a warm cozy little bed.

[keelt9]

Paper 1

Masterlist

The first time Max saw her, she was sitting with her legs crossed in front of an old clockmaker's workshop writing in red paper as the snow kept falling slowly all over the small town. 

Max’s family had the tradition of going to Benasque, in Spain, every Christmas and New Year, keeping far away from the busy world of racing and enjoying some time with family.

“What are you doing?” Max approaches the girl who didn’t bother to lift her eyes from her paper as she writes like her lifes depends on it.

“Writing.” Max bluffs rolling his eyes, but he insisted.

“Kinda obvious, what are you writing?” He tilted his head trying to read whatever she’s writing. 

This time the girl with a red beanie lifted her face, rubbing her hands trying to get rid of the cold. “A Christmas wish.”

“For?” Max couldn't avoided, she had something that triggered his curiosity. 

“For?!” Like Max just asked the most terrorist question, the girl sits properly and points to the big Santa Claus in front of the clockmaker's workshop, next to a red mailbox. “Kind of obvious too.” 

“Really?” Max looked at her like he was observing the most outrageous person. “He’s n…”

The girl stood flooding his paper and got his pen on her big red cape. “Are you a Grinch or something like that?”

Max laughs purely following the girl who carefully walked waiting for the cars stopped to cross the street. “It’s an old clockmaker's workshop with an old mailbox, what makes you think that could even work?”

The girl opened the mailbox where, to his surprise, had a considerable amount of papers and letters, the girl looked at him with a self-sufficient smile.

“You’re kind of sourpuss for having what 6 year olds, maybe 7?” Max opened his mouth in total disbelief, who the hell was this girl.

“6 and half.” The girl nods, walking back to the bench unconsciously making space for him to sit.

Max sat next to her. “Now what?” 

The girl laid back her head with a smile but didn’t look at him. “Well, I like to sit here and watch, from time to time you find interesting people who actually believe in Christmas magic.”

“I don’t say I don’t believe, it’s just I have my reserves.” Max stretches his neck and relaxes his body. “Let’s see if you have the right.”

For 4 hours they waited outside as they were covered in white and their faces turned red, spoke about every little thing like they were friends of life, and one more time the mysterious girl confirmed her theory. They saw little kids walking along their parents, teenagers who observed side to side of the street fearing someone could catch them doing something wrong, adults that simply stood longer like if closing the mailbox means as prayer and old people that after came across the street and gave them a small candy or coins for they bought something nice for these holidays.

When the few sunlights started to disappear, the girl stood and waved her hand to the other side of the street. 

“Well, Mr. Grinch, it's been a pleasure, I have a lot of fun.” Max felt overwhelmed but happy. “Thanks for joining me.” 

The girl extended her hand which Max gladly accepted and shook. “Oh my God! You’re freezing, you forgot your gloves or something?”

Max didn't forget them, it’s part of his training, resist the cold temperatures, hoping in a few years all these things bring thousands of joys for him and his family.

His lack of response made the little girl narrow her eyes but let it pass. “Put it on the fire as soon as you get home.”

Max chuckled. “Thanks, little elf.” He pointed to his beanie and her red black boots. 

The girl laughs purely nodding her head. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Count me in.” Max walks away but he notices he doesn’t have a name. “What's your name?!” He screamed as the girl kept walking backwards.

“I’ll tell you later!” 

As the years passed, that’s how Max spent every last two weeks of December, before parting ways the 2nd of January, walking around the small town, eating candies and spending hours in front of an old clockmaker's workshop; loving the company of a little girl with a red beanie and black boots. 

Their name never comes and honestly they never needed it. 

The year Max finally joined Red Bull he could barely wait for Christmas holidays to begin, he had big news to share.

But Christmas wasn't nice all the time, that year knowing he could turn in the main driver of Red Bull, his father strictly denied him to move far away from Milton Keynes, he must be there.

Max obedient waited at least for the 23rd of December hopping his father could change his mind, still he hasn't, so in a last attempted he asked to his sister Victoria, that please, at least she went there before New Years Eve searched in front of the old clockmaker's workshop for a girl with a red beanie and black boots, and told her he would go next year.

“Max, how would I know I found the right girl?” Victoria asked as they said goodbye in the airport.

Max shook his head and hugged his sister. “Please, just tell her to wait a little bit.”

The pleading eyes of his brother was all Victoria needed to agree and looked at the Christmas girl.

Unfortunately she didn’t get her goal, her mother and her flight connection delay a couple of hours by the time they arrived to Benasque, it was the first hour of the 4rd of January, even when Victoria went to the old clockmaker's workshop the owner told her the girl came like every year and go, last night.

“A little defeated, she waited for his little friend.” The owner said taking the red mailbox of the entrance. 

Victoria left her number in case the girl came but the owner was cleared, like the snow, she and her family only came that three weeks every year.

The next year Max started to make his own powerful path, fearing he could miss an important moment, he started to write all the special moments in a red notebook, he didn't want to miss any little detail for sharing with his little elf. 

The next year with a victory between his hands, and the support of his mother Max went to Benasque,  just maybe his elf could be already there. 

Until the day before Christmas she didn’t appear in any of the places they used to go. 

The old man came outside of the clockmaker's workshop with a cup of hot chocolate and gave it to him. “It’s weird for me too.”

Max took a sip seeing the marshmallow floating. “She came like always?” 

The old man smiles and nods softly like he could picture the scene of last year, a teenager girl coming in the last hours of Christmas eve with a folded blue paper for leaving in the mailbox.

“She waited a little bit longer that night.” Max felt his heart squeeze. “She waited for a last minute Christmas miracle.”

Max saw the mailbox and took a piece of paper from his notebook, leaving the cup next to him. “Do you have a plan in mind, young boy?”

Max smiled, writing as fast as he could. “Helping the big guy with a miracle.”

Max didn’t notice but the old man has a proud smile and the certainty that this bound is for life. 

With a folded piece of paper Max crossed the street, opened the mailbox and put his wish and understood why the adults years ago closed the lid carefully, fearing that their wish would not come true.

His first championship came and the little elf didn’t, like every year he waited for hours every day as he kept writing in his second notebook, but she didn’t come, and every Christmas Eve he left his same wish on the mailbox.

When his third Championship came he walked the street covered in snow with a backpack, now with 4 notebooks in it. 

However this time, the old man reached him before he even got to see the bench. 

“She’s here!” The old man's face is bright beside the cold wind. 

Max opened his eyes ready to run but he was stopped. “Wait boy. I heard from the woman at the bookstore that she was already here but she hasn’t come…”

“Thanks.” Max didn’t let him finish; he grabbed his arm before running to the bookstore three blocks away.

The woman repeated the same words, she was there, bought a book and left, without saying another word.

Max's blood froze but he had to ask. “Did she look sick?”

“Oh no, she is beautiful and healthy as always, the red cape is switched for a navy blue coat but stunning as always.” The woman smiles remembering how the small girl turned into this beautiful woman. 

“Did she have a ri…” The woman smiles tenderly at Max and grabs his frozen hand.

“Any man or ring with her, boy, she just seems anxious.” Max breaths out feeling his chest doesn’t hurt.

He tried to think where she could be but for years, they spent all their holidays around the town, she could be anywhere.

Following his ritual he took a piece of paper from his notebook with his wish and left it in the mailbox, just this time in the next morning, in the mailbox a blue piece of paper appeared.

“Take it.” The old man said take it out and give it to him. “Maybe it’s your miracle.”

Max with shaking hands and holding carefully, he unfolded the paper.

<Merry Chrisymas Mr. Freeze hands!>

She was there, she definitely was there.

“Are you nuts?!” Daniel said almost choking with his dinner.

Max has a plan in mind, using all his resources for having his wish come true.

“It’s just a few words in the air.” Max rest importance cleaning the corner of his mouth. “Besides it’s on the SIM, isn’t  harmful.”

Daniel rolls his eyes. “Harmful? No, but come on Max! Everything you said in a blink will be on X, instagram, facebook, and other platforms.”

“Exactly! More diffusion, more reach.” Daniel shakes his head knowing trying to change his friend's mind, even if it is useless.

“You already talked with your team? Redline team.” Max didn’t answer, just kept eating. “MAX!”

Max laughs. “I’m planning to do it tonight!”

His team agreed with the strong belief that Max won't get it, not because they didn't want it, just because he's trying to find an old friend with any name and just barely any information that could be used to find someone.

“Ok Max, your turn.” Crane mentioned preparing the next race.

Max feels nervous, he giggles before speaking. “I would love to get some help from all of you.”

The chat immediately went crazy saying they would be glad to help.

“I lost contact with an old friend, so I was hoping you can help me to find that person one more time.” The chat lights on asking for the name or country. “Well, keeping things private I’m only going to tell you, I’m helping Santa Claus just this year.”

Max reads the comment that it’s like finding a fish in the ocean, impossible. “We used to spend Christmas together, in front of an old clockmaker's workshop.” That’s useful information, Crane laughs reading the comment. “So, can you please tell; little elf, I’m giving a hand to the big guy with red costume.”

The moment quickly goes viral, all the people are moved by the fact a triple world wide champion lost an old friend and he’s trying to find it for Christmas. It's so tender.

What wasn't tender was how the season is going, the first races all point to another brilliant season for the team until it isn’t.

Max constant researcher is paused everytime, and by the middle of the year the only useful information he gets is that the team is using this research to make more people know about it. 

But Barcelona took him by surprise.

With another win Max is fully focused on celebrating until before leaving the paddock one of the girls in charge of liaison, runs to get him before he goes.

“MAX!” The girl looks like she's seeing a ghost, pale and with wide open eyes. “You must see this.”

She gives him what a plain sight looks like and an old photo, he takes it as they keep walking until the car.

Finally inside he takes his time, or that's what he planned to do until he notices he doesn't have to, he recognises the girl in the photo.

Standing in front of a big Christmas tree as another girl hugs her looking at the camera, the other girl older and taller, wearing a white cape and black boots is laughing; his little elf is standing there with that beautiful smile, her red cape, black boots and rosy cheeks.

“Where is she?” Max asks, grabbing the seat ready to open the door and go wherever she tells him she is.

“That’s the problem.” She moves her head indicating they're ready to go. “I don’t think she’s here.”

“What?” Max looks through the window in panic as the car keeps moving. 

The girl gives him a piece of paper, as a number on it. “The girl who gave me the photo is the older one, she said the girl in red is her little sister but…” Max notices the hesitation on his teammate.

“But…” The girl turns around to see him in the back seat, as she narrows her eyes, Max is going crazy every second.

“Well, she isn’t that confident you’re looking for her sister at the right moment.” Max didn’t mean to explode, however it’s hard to control his emotions. 

“What the fuck?!” He takes his cap rubbing his face in his hands. “Sorry, sorry, I just… What else did she tell you?”

“Call her, both of you need to talk.” 

Max's mind surrounds for endless questions. Where is she? Did she know he’s looking for her? How is she? Why isn't it the right moment? What the hell has to do her sister in all this? 

Arriving at his hotel room before going to celebrate he dialed the number, concreting a meeting tomorrow in the morning at his hotel. 

“This isn’t true!” Daniel screams so Max could hear him among all the noise. “Come on Max! You’re not that foolish to believe this.”

“It’s the only coherent clue I had!” Max takes a sip of his drink.

“Or maybe it’s the sign for you to give up.” Max looks at him with cold eyes. “It’s been 6 months Max, let’s be real we’re not in a movie.”

Lando finds them on the table. “Are you planning to stay here so I can bring you a cup of tea or have fun?”

Next morning Max wakes up earlier than usual, his mind full and confused with Daniel words and the photo in his hands, when the hour they meet approaches he walks more than 10 times to the door and back to his bed. 

Slowly he remembers when she turned 10 years old, and arrived before him. By the time he got to the bench she had in her lap a cheesecake.

“What is this?” Max pointed as she smiled, taking out a candle making space between them to put the cake. 

“It’s my birthday, well… it was, but I’m making my own wish come true.” She carefully put the candle in the middle of it.

“Weirdo.” Max smiles at the ways she is so excited. “Wishes don't tell unless you don’t want to make it real.”

“Reason why I’m making it real, duh.” The girl lights the candle carefully as crosses her hands, closing her eyes. 

Max immediately starts to sing a happy birthday song softly observing how her smile grows bigger, when it ends the girl blows her candle.

“Now, what was your wish?” Max asked, grabbing the spoon the girl gave him. 

“Spending my birthday with my best friend.” Max froze in the moment a spoon stuck on the small cheesecake and a girl eating like she just said the most casual thing of the world.

Max smiles softly seeing the photo one more time, fuck everybody, he’s follow his little elf steps, making his own wish true.

[gaijin-fujin-resonance]

TIKI TIKI BOOM

I was trying to remember the last time I stayed up until midnight to buy or listen to a new album. Honestly, not since 1997? I certainly never have during the streaming age. And yet the night before Subrosa was released, I set my alarm clock for 23:55 and put on a pair of sleep headphones to listen, the second that it became available in my time zone.

Half asleep, face mashed against my pillow, TIKI TIKI BOOM was probably my single most instantaneous “OMG I LOVE THIS!” reaction of overwhelming aural buzz from the whole album. Just a straight blast of pure Imai serotonin joy. It’s just sheer bubblegum bliss, one of those songs that scratches an itch you didn’t even know you had until you find yourself listening to it 20 times in a row.

What is it with this song? With my music journo head, I’m aware that it’s such a silly little snippet. Musically, it’s hardly there. It’s just one chord all the way through the whole verse. There’s barely a melody. Even the chorus only adds suspended harmonies, rather than actually shifting to a different chord. Yet it's that stompy, swaying RHYTHM that lights up my pleasure receptors like a flight control deck!

The beat is basically Diwali Riddim, a Dancehall backing track originally derived from a brief snippet of Indian handclaps. The full album will likely drive you insane (I had a former flatmate who used to play it on repeat, so it is burned into my brain) but probably the most successful pop song based off it was Lumidee’s Never Leave You. It’s just such an irresistible dance beat that you could basically recite a shopping list over the top of it, and still fill a dancefloor.

The track starts with a bouncing bass, and an electronic whistle like a radio tuning in, then it’s just one hammered chord and that irresistible beat. And over this tight tension, Imai drizzles one of his signature tongue-twister raps. Honestly, Imai’s singing voice has always been far more about personality than technique, but his sense of flow is undeniable. His quicksilver words tumble out like slippery fish, evocative of the playful wordplay of Mona Lisa - the same burst of surreal rebel imagery wrapped up in doublets and triplets, filled with clever rhyming, consonance and assonance.

The sonic landscape really rewards close listens - although it may sound like a simple march of drums and distorted bass, there are so many bursts of slithering insect noises, machine gun samples and gorgeously grating groans of industrial gears woven through the propulsive beat. The chorus is an absurdly catchy nursery rhyme nonsense with a cute story behind it: Yokoyama-san revealed that the “Tiki tiki boom” riff was originally just a temporary vocal filler on Imai's demo before he wrote proper words. But since the manipulator loved it so much that he sampled it to use it for a rhythm loop, Imai decided to keep it as the main riff.

There’s an instrumental break around 2:00 where Imai just throws all of his weird space noises, industrial samples and mechanical squeaks and groans into the mix, panned playfully about the stereo field. And then it gives way to a heavily flanged-out 3-note guitar solo, scratching away like an infected mosquito bite. It took me ages to work out what it reminded me of: I Hate Pretending by Secret Machines.

I would be surprised if Imai had ever heard of the psychedelic Texan space-rockers, but (the sadly missed) Benjamin Curtis was one of the few American guitarists I ever witnessed who could match the sheer freeform inventiveness of Imai’s distinctive heavily-processed, melodic-noize guitar style. (That band also had a classic rock-obsessed drummer who Toll would probably really appreciate, too.)

Best moment: around 2:36, at the end of the break, where all the instruments drop out, there’s a sudden sample of a deep, pitch-shifted “TIKI TIKI BOOM!” which flies across the stereo field from left to right like a hand grenade. It’s so silly, and yet so absurdly satisfying.

[lemon-mint813]

See You Around

tldr

I'm moving to a different blog @iwantsomethingsoft but I will never delete this one because the memories and people here are still things I hold dear. If you've moved on from fandom or have a blog that's not fandom related I'd love to follow you and stay in each other's circles. Thank you for everything, and I wish you all the best in whatever comes next for you 💖

Long ass section

Sigh. This has been really difficult to come to terms with, and the way my time in this fandom is ending is something I've never experienced before. I've also never had a fandom experience as intense, painful, wonderful, inspirational, stressful, joyful, devastating, and love filled as this one. There's a lot of things I'm trying not to regret about these past few years, but one thing I don't regret is a single second of time spent in this community. The good and the bad. It was all worth it to have what I needed when I needed it, and to have met the most incredible people because of it.

This little corner of the internet, this specific little bubble of tumblr, has been so lovely to be a part of. I'm sad I wasn't as active here near the end. I think I took this space for granted and forgot to appreciate it the way it deserved to be. And what's funny is, my time here on this blog doesn't feel as tainted as everything else because the good memories made here were purely due to the community and nobody else. The only reason I need to leave is I need to be separate from everything connected to the mcyt fandom right now, and that includes this blog.

You all have no idea how much I treasured seeing you pop up in my notifs or when I scrolled by you on my dash. Even those I never spoke to, just existing side by side has been truly a pleasure. I hope that one day we can cross paths again. And whether we do or not, I will always look back on my time here and the people here with endless fondness and appreciation.

If you follow me you know I'm quite dramatic. And emotional. And over the top. So I had to leave you with one last essay pouring my heart out. I don't want the last things on this blog to be negative things so I wanted to pour some love out there instead. If you take nothing else away from this, please take away that you are loved. More than you know.

If you have a non fandom blog and I miss you when I go through my following, pls dm me. I want to keep in touch. I'll keep an eye on my messages here for the next couple of days. And who knows. Maybe I'll come back. Maybe I'll log back in just to scroll my dash and see what people are up to. Or to comb through the memories when they don't hurt as much to look at. But until then, thank you. Thank you for being so welcoming, and willing to share your space, your incredible creations, and your pictures and edits and clips and silly thoughts. Thank you for just being kind in my tags and inbox. It truly brought me joy.

Good luck in whatever you do next. I'm rooting for you.

[chanchanchanko]

barbie thoughts!

my friend said this in the best way: barbie is for anyone who has a complicated relationship with girlhood. its restorative

and that rings so true for me -- the movie honored girlhood and play! greta gerwig said lets play dolls and then i went into the theater and i did!! it took this very specific and intimate form of storytelling (playing dolls) and treated it with the utmost care and importance.

there were so many fun little tropes of doll play, like the car to the boat to the rocket to the tandem bike and then in reverse. its something i did a lot as a kid. the sudden creation of stakes that dont actually make a lot of sense plotwise, but make a lot of sense emotionally (im thinking of when they were like omg we have to change the constitution lol)

thats why i think the ostentatious dialogue works -- its not trying to show you a human story through realism, its trying to play out a human story with dolls. its also why america's speech worked so well for me even if it was feminism 101 -- for me as a little kid, i often would speak through my toys with unmediated speeches to express how I felt. womanhood (and those adjacent to womenhood in some way) is so unfair. and the idea of wanting fairness sometimes feels so childish. so its cathartic to hear it in plain terms. even if it's obvious, or you've heard it before, that doesnt change how frustrating it is to have these conflicting standards. even i, nonbinary and versed in a good deal of gender theory, still engage and feel constrained by the limits of womanhood. I still feign ignorance or smile to obfuscate any power I have in male spaces. and just because im aware of it doesnt make it go away

i hated barbie growing up. she didnt look like me or want the same things i wanted. but at the same time, she got to be a vehicle for stories that i wanted to tell and a vehicle for the things i thought were fun: sleepovers every night! forever! it was a really pure expression of joy. and barbie, very importantly, wasnt a baby doll that I had to take care of (which i already did enough of for my younger siblings and family)

as i see it, dolls are so sexualized all the time. they are objects onto which you can place desire. they are innocent and perfect and pliable. they are idealized, plastic, cold, unfeeling. you can fuck them or keep them behind glass. you can ogle their bodies freely and for your pleasure. but the barbie movie treated the idea of dolls and play so preciously. it said, you used to play like this, right? this was really important to you.

I feel like what I see of girlhood portrayed is usually an observation or analysis at best. at worst it is a joke or a backdrop for violence. by showing us a movie that operates under the assumption that we are playing dolls, the barbie movie invites us in to girlhood as we are. i missed it so much and i didnt even know it was something i missed.

i have a difficult relationship with girlhood -- strong feelings of not belonging or relating and having crushing expectations placed on me for reasons out of my control and the shame i felt so acutely (which i think is pretty normal fwiw). this movie saw that, honored it, and engaged in the same play we were ridiculed for. and said you can be anything. that's the joy of it. you can take this doll and go farther. there's no wrong way to play. create any world you want.

im not a woman anymore and im not sure if i ever was. but i did experience girlhood and felt shame for it. and the barbie movie help my hand and said it's ok. you're not doing any of it wrong.

[jubilantwriter]

Well heelllloooo my beloved~

Let's go wiiiithhhh 4, 8, 16, 26, 55, and 68!

Helloooooo my darling~

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Usually through music, but nowadays I've been drawing inspiration from hefty quotes on tumblr and comics where there's a certain Flavor to it that I really like and wanna try with my own takes.

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

The middle! That's where the meat of the fic is, and where my general creativity really goes loose and uncontrolled lol. You can bet that my excess writing collects in the middle and just continues to unravel from there. Beginnings tend to be rough, but once I get a start, I manage to keep on chugging.

Endings are where I really struggle. Don't- [grabs your face to look away at my incomplete but published fics] -don't look over there.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Oooohh so many. Granted, all of them tend to be centered around my and my friends' OCs, but the one I'm nursing right now is:

Clay (from Pokemon Black and White) has to deal with the grief and guilt of his younger cousin going missing (my OC, Rod, of whom you know), and processes it as healthily as he possibly can. Which is to say, he processes it poorly. There's blame tossed around and angry jealousy/envy towards another figure who's lost a family member.

Takes place just before Legends Arceus truly kicks off, but is set in that universe. I've actually been working on this fic for AGES, and it's only recently returned to bother me in the corners of my brain.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

GOD. I would have to say... "The Space Between". It was my first true horror fic where I pushed myself to really experiment with my writing. Building the atmosphere, figuring out how to word things just right to drive home the pure terror David was in was a struggle, but a well fought one! I remember putting myself in David's headspace and freaking myself out with horror stuff to get me to really feel and experience what David felt to properly translate the terror into words. I even thought about reading a Stephen King book or two to understand how to write horror! Needless to say, I didn't end up doing that LOL

After all that build up tho came the downhill climb from all that horror tension, which honestly is what got me put into a standstill. Like, how do you write a satisfying conclusion to all that build up? That's still something I need to work on for that fic, and one that's been nagging at me for ages. Hopefully, I'll figure something out. I know how it ends, after all.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

...........r Od, my pokémon OC. loL. Writing my own OC has been a pleasure and a joy, just because I can put him into so many situations and throw him into so many AUs with my friends. But also, the biggest appeal of Rod is that he's my own character. I know who he is and why he behaves the way he does better than anyone else - his motives, his drives, his weaknesses. Not only that, but he's a character who can change and grow into something else! He used to be a cis man before my friends and I talked more and more about him until we realized... no, actually, he's a transman. He leaves so much room for experimenting, for discovery and building that it's so much fun to work with him! It's less constraining to work with him than with established characters, and it's also SUCH a breath of fresh air!

My friends DEFINITELY had some part in my choice to write about him. They all just... loved him so much??? Right from conception when he was nothing more than a sock puppet with googly eyes and a fishing pun for a name. They loved him so much that they all breathed the life into him, until I actually had something to work with.

And then they kept playing with him!! Lord did they play with him. So I played dolls with their OCs as well, and this interconnected world with OCs just kinda grew and expanded and became so much fun to explore that I just couldn't not enjoy writing fics about him and their OCs falling in love or being a family or struggling together. A lot of the fics I write of Rod tend to be shared only amongst my friends, but maybe... some day... I'll post something here.

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Listen to songs in hopes of getting my writing spunk on. That, or daydreaming! Daydreaming scenarios really helps.

The other thing I do is write my fic on minecraft which is a sane and nor Mal thing to do,

[lenorayoder]

2025 Reading Goals

Happy New Year!

For the last couple of years I've been trying to be more intentional with my reading. This originally stemmed from a desire to get back to reading more published works instead of reading primarily fan fiction. While that's still a factor, I'm also now trying to read more acclaimed books/authors - partially for the pure pleasure of it, partially to help inform and inspire my long-term goal of writing a book myself. These past couple years have been great; to keep the ball rolling and have my best year yet, here are my reading goals for 2025:

1. Read 75 books

I read 52 books in 2023 and 70 books in 2024. Let's keep the momentum going and go for 75 this year! I'd like to read some classic graphic novels and/or comics this year, so this shouldn't be as hard/intense as it might sound.

2. Read 12 books I already own

I own a lot of books I haven't read. Many have been gifted to me, many I've bought second-hand because I love a $1 read that looks either genuinely good or like a silly fun time. I'm slowly working towards the goal of only owning books that I've read and love. I want my space to be populated with books I like enough to reread, would be excited to loan to friends, or fill me with joy and nostalgia. Random unread John Green books I got for free when my friend moved are not the vibe (unless I end up loving them, who knows?).

3. Read 5 award-winning books

I read a lot of subpar books in 2024. Given that at least a few books for goal 2 will be read because I think I'll want to donate them when I'm done, 2025 will certainly have some 1- and 2-star reads as well. Let's give them a boost with some books that are critically-acclaimed! This should be easy since after The Lathe of Heaven I'm looking to read more Le Guin.

4. Create and complete a reading challenge for each season

Recently I've liked the idea of living seasonally. Why not extend that to reading? I've also recently discovered the joys of creating challenges on StoryGraph. I've already created a challenge for this winter, and knocked out 2 of the 9 prompts. Check out the challenge and come join me! I love seeing what books other people pick to fill prompts! I've already added 5 books to the "Snowed in" prompt because it was so fun to think of examples that fit the criteria.

5. Complete StoryGraph's Genre challenge

StoryGraph's 2024 Genre challenge led me to read a few great books last year that I never would have otherwise. Here's hoping that happens again!

6. Complete my local library's reading challenge

I love my local library. I completed their 2024 challenge just for the satisfaction and to my surprise won a really cute enamel pin that now lives on the strap of my library bag. We're doing it again this year!

7. Complete at least half of StoryGraph's World and Onboarding challenges

I'm already committing to a lot of reading challenges this year. Since I'm less excited about these challenges (I have a real bone to pick with how publishers translate into English most of the time) but still want to broaden my horizons, I'm only committing to finishing half of each challenge. Maybe I'll complete them, but no big deal if I don't.

And that's it! What do you think? Have any good recommendations? Are you making your own reading challenges too (I had more than a reasonable amount of fun making that winter one lol)? I'm excited to start this year of reading!

[darthdaddi]

Meditation Chamber

Darth Vader x fem!reader

Notes: Sooo Vader has been heavy on my mind lately and with @hanasnx 's recent asks, I can't help but write about him. This is all completely unrealistic and made up in my mind, not canon for the most part.

Word count 1.8k

Warnings: 18+ (MINORS DNI!) Vader is passionate towards reader?, Fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dick riding, thigh riding, pet names/distasteful names (star, pet, slut, little one, etc), burnt Vader, size kink kinda?, it's smutty, nothing else to it.

Being the eager girl you are, you seek out Vader who is in his quarters as usual, meditating in his chambers to get a chance to relax and breathe without that dreaded respirator mask. You didn't care a bit about how your lover looked under that mask and suit, he was glorious in your eyes. Making your way to him, you begin thinking about how he would react if you interrupted his meditation time. Would he lash out? Or fuck you mercilessly until you couldn't walk for a few days? Maybe he would choke you out if he's in a bad mood? No of course not, you are his Star. His pride and joy! The only thing that keeps him somewhat sane in this universe. Vader is a cruel man, but he's no monster towards you. Of course he can be cold and demanding, but you were once the Padawan of Anakin Skywalker before his downfall. The two of you were unstoppable, the young Jedi knight who was only 20 at the time, took you in after your former mentor died in the battle of  Geonosis. You waited until he had completed his trials, at the time of your training with Anakin, you were 18. Though you never finished your training under Skywalker's instruction, he was defeated by Darth Vader in 19 BBY. You were loyal to your master and always had been, the decision to abandon the Jedi religion was hard, but what choice did you have? The Jedi were no more.

You continued down the long halls to the quiet quarters of Lord Vader, swiping open the door softly and calling out cautiously, "My dear, do you have a minute?" You stood like a statue for a moment until the chamber door opened. Vader looked at you with his blank stare and only patted his lap, inviting you into his intimate space. You swiped the metal door closed and locked it before walking towards the large man that awaited you. Crawling into his lap, Vader closed the chamber shut and waited for your proposal. "You seem tense my Lord, can I help you relieve that?" You said trying to be seductive. A slight smile began to arise on his face but quickly dropped as usual, "I think this is for your own pleasure little one, but I wouldn't mind partaking in your game." Vader rasped in his monotone voice, only this time it was his natural voice and not the one coming from his mask, which made it all the better. You smiled softly and took in his features, which you found beautiful. Vader grabbed your face and smirked ever so slightly into a kiss. The kiss was sloppy and passionate, something that never really happens between the two of you. Usually it's rough and purely lustful. You basked in the moment, cupping the side of his scarred face with your small hand. Vader wasted no time getting into the nitty gritty, he removed your pants along with the barely-there undergarments you had on and placed his large gloved thumb onto your clit and began circling it. Gods this felt so good to you, it was rare that Lord Vader was tender and gentle with you. Tiny moans escaped your mouth as he applied more pressure to your sensitive bud. You bucked your hips in an attempt to release the tension within your body. Vader completely stopped his actions and glared at you, "My darling you know your place, don't act like a slut that demands more than what she receives." He growled lowly, placing you one knee and waited for you to realize your fate. "If you wish to have this pleasure continue, you will ride my thigh like the whore you are being. Then and only then will you prove that you are a good enough girl to receive my fingers again." The sith was so close to your ear that you could feel his breath grazing your cheek. "Yes master..." You replied back sheepishly, rolling your hips on to the large thigh of the dark lord. Vader sat back and watched at you patheticly shifted on the fabric of his pants. The sight of this embarrassing show got the best of him, Vader grabbed your hip to guide you on his thigh. You closed your eyes tightly as this moment felt too shameful to be shared lovingly, though your lover thought it was a wonderful, messy sight. "Open your eyes my dear, I want you to look into my very soul whilst you put on this show for me." Vader said smoothly, removing his hand from your hip which forced you to continue on your own. After a while of the same back and fourth movement you made no progress towards your orgasm. The sith didn't dare touch you, though he did bend the force to his will and used the phantom energy to play with your clit, encouraging your everlong release. Sadly, it never came. After all your hard work building up to this moment, the cruel man stopped your movement. "You've had enough of my torture, Star." With that, Vader positioned you with your back against his chest and spread your jelly like legs apart. He smirked at the full display he got when he looked down. Bare breasts, glistening pussy, and a desperate look on your face that stared back at him.

The sith continues with his previous actions. He finally gave into your lustful needs and dipped his colossal middle finger into your cunt, pumping in and out like the perverted sex toy he caught you with just the other day, "Look at that, fills you up just as that pathetic toy did." Vader chuckled lowly, amused by how tiny you are compared to him. You bit your lip and nodded in agreement, watching how your lovers finger fucked you. Vader loved the way you admired his skills, though he loved the way you looked at him helplessly even more. He added his ring finger in, making sure your stretched at prepped for him. You gasped at the second digit and held onto his shoulder plate for support. Vader then curled his fingers into your sweet spot, grabbing your jaw to make you face him as he sped his pace. Your mouth hung in an "O" as you were paralyzed by pleasure. The sith smuggly smirked as he placed his thumb into your mouth, wiping the pooled spit down your chin. "Such a good pet for me, so willing to please and endure my commands." He cooed, kissing your forehead. You squirmed and wiggled around in the dark lord's lap as he thrusted his fingers faster, causing you to burry your face in his wide chest. "My love, I can't bare much more of this. It feels too good I can't hang wait any longer!" You bellowed out into his chest. Vader looked down at you, his sith eyes turning to his natural blue as he said, "I'm feeling generous tonight my little star, you may cum. Although, you won't be stopping anytime soon." He flashed a quick devilish smile ending his sentence. You looked up at like a lost puppy, so drunken with pleasure you couldn't form words. After being pumped a few too many times you had finally had enough as you were too sensitive to continue with the finger fucking, "May I cum, master?" You whined at him, tears beginning to pool in your sockets. "Go ahead little one, you've been such a good girl for me." The sith groaned lowly. You released. Finally after all of that build up your orgasm came crashing down. Vader kissed the back of your neck and mumbled, "Good girl, that is such a good girl." You let out a shuttered breath and looked at Lord Vader. "More please." You said with those puppy eyes that got you anything you wanted, as you were Vader's princess and he could never truly deny you. He gave you the ok to remove his aching dick from his pants, you kneeled in front of him and removed his trousers.

Vader's cock slapped his stomach as it sprung out from the tight garment. You couldn't help but admire his glorious dick, so big and all yours, you wrapped your hand around the base and slowly stroked it teasingly. Vader growled at your actions and grabbed a fist full of your hair, pulling you head down as he force you to look at him. "If you wish to continue with our game, you will not act like such a brat. Do you understand pet?" The sith spat at you. You whimpered the words, "yes sir, I understand." You placed your mouth around his dick and pumped the remaining inches you couldn't fit in your hand. Vader tightened his drip on your hair as he bucked his hips into your face. Once again, tears started formed in your eyes as the girth and length of him was too much, air flow became restricted. The sith pulled you off of his length to allow you to breathe for a moment before forcing you back onto him. Finally he let go and gave you control of his dick. You bobbed your head, suckled, and spit on his cock; making a mess of yourself and your lover. Vader smirked at you, stroking your hair and softly bucking his hips along with your movements. "You're so eager and messy my sweet, I truly can't get enough of you." Vader praised, patting your head gently. He pulled you away from his sex again and stated, "You are doing such an amazing job darling, though I want to save my cum for our love." He placed you back into his lap and sat you on his length. Gasps and groans poured lewdly out of both of your mouths. You looked into his captivating blue eyes as your hips began grinding and his hips began thrusting. Vader grabbed your hips and pulled you impossibly close to his figure, kissing your plump lips as the two of you passionately fucked each other. You buried your face into the chest of your lover while he held that back of your head tenderly. As you got tired, Vader flipped you around to face away from him, hooking his hands under your legs and fucked into you himself. He placed breathless kisses on your neck, even sucking on it a few times to remind you who's you are. The echoing sounds of skin slapping and 'I love yous' bounced off of the chamber walls. The emotions being poured into this very moment was worth every bit of Vader's wasted time. It was rare that the sith got to have sex with you in a state where he felt somewhat comfortable in. It was truly sweet, the two of you making such love, love that hadn't been shared in a long time.

Aaaah, so here it is! I've been putting off posting this because I have never written for Vader and I wanted it to be as authentic as possible even with it being head canon. I wanted to show a sweeter side of Vader that nobody else sees, but also somewhat demanding as usual. As always, I hope everyone enjoys this short one-shot and feel free to pm or ask with any suggestions for future writing, or tips overall <3

[manlywitch]

ᴰᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ⁿᵒʷ?

🫎Random bakugou smut... I'm down bad for him... And yanderes...

🫎Type of reader: sub Uke male reader.

🫎Pairing: yandere Bakugou Katsuki X male reader.

🫎Type: (NSFW) smut🔞

🫎Yandere themes

🫎Non-con (I normally don't do this but I was in the mood to write this..)

🫎Prompt: Bakugou finds out you were trying to escape him obviously angering him, now he's taking it out on your insides.

🫎If you feel uncomfortable with these kinda situations/subjects please don't read it, I don't want to make you guys uncomfortable.

🫎Everyone's 18+ in this.

🫎Surprisingly long smut part I'm proud.

🫎Kinks: bondage, overstimulation.

<this is edited since I couldn't stand how bad this story was>

Proofread? : ❌

🦝 ¸,ø¤º°🔞°º¤ø,¸ 🦝

He grabs the head of your cock squeezing down so you can't cum, you whimper as your orgasm gets denied.

The stretch burns, making you feel lightheaded and sick, barely able to hold yourself up if it wasn’t for Katsuki’s strong hands holding your body in place.“I can’t- please - I can’t- s-stop please... ” You babble away, mindless and pathetic, just how Katsuki likes it. This made him fall for you even more. Good job..

Even though you can barely handle it, you have to do this, whether you like it or not. And Katsuki had all the right to do so...He says, because you tried to leave him, you should be ashamed of yourself, right?...

{ You got yourself into this....After all...Why would you think you could leave him? Idiot.♡}

He chuckes, and you feel the vibrations through your body. You whine and choke on the thick air before letting yourself fall onto his chest, engulfed by Katsuki’s protective hug, this is his sign to know that you love him back.

|

He groans as his animalistic pace slows down, so does the grip on one side your hips get loosened up.

He looks at your face, your sobbing as your hands that were previously cut open with a nail when you tried to open the window were tied up to the bedpost. "I'll leave you like this...Then my little boy can't escape...Hm?" You sob as his pace fastens up again making your eyes close wanting this to be over.

You didn't want to receive any kind of pleasure from this freak, his maroon red eyes always glaring at you if you did something 'wrong' or 'bad' in his opinion, this 'bad behavior' then later got handled in this way by using your body as his personal sex toy.

|

He groans as his pace gets sloppy as he looks you in the eyes your <e/c> eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying.

He cramps up as he shoots his load into you, your gummy red walls painted a white colour.

He pulls out of your ass and looks at your crying and shaking form.

He smiles a sickening smile finding joy in you being marked up and in 'pleasure' just because of him.

He smirks as you let out a sigh of relieve happy it's done. Maybe you can even cum now...If he let's go of your cock then..Why can't he let go of your cock? ....

"You really think I was done? How adorable, doll..." he rams his cock back into your ass his cum going deeper into your ass as he fucks your ass hard. His cock thrusts at a painfully hard pace.

It was sickening, you wish you were back home where you would wake up next to your actual boyfriend and go to your job and have a peaceful life.

Now you had to live with this disgusting man, his intentions never seemed pure or good...

You thought by now that your boyfriend must've found another partner and keeps living his life like it was with you...Just like your other family members...Right?

Well...Not exactly...What you didn't know is that there's a crawling space....A great hiding place for bodies..Right?

|

As Katsuki kept fucking into you hard you didn't notice that he was holding a knife...

And he for sure will use it if you don't obey..

You felt a harsh stinging feeling in your arm...

You choked out as more sobs escaped your body, your head constantly hitting the headboard of the bed as Katsuki wasn't holding onto you anymore...

You looked at Katsuki who was glaring at you. " Pay attention to me" he put the knife away and grabbed your hip again.

🦝 ¸,ø¤º°🔞°º¤ø,¸ 🦝

He groans as he came again, his cum squirted out of your ass as it was stuffed full of his white liquid.

|

He pulled out and looked at you.

You layed there, your <s/t> skin littered in purple and red marks, your eyes puffy and lifeless and your hair greasy and messy from the lack of care.

Did I already mention that...Katsuki followed you around the house everywhere and whenever he left he would tie you up? Yeah...No way you were gonna shower around him.

He pulls his hand away from the head of your cock, as soon as he did that your load bursted.

White ropes of cum squirting out of your cock as you moan your eyes closed as you finally have a moment where he isn't touching you.

As soon as you were done and came down from your high he stroked your cheek.

You were annoyed by that antic but couldn't do much since your hands were tied up.

....You wanted to bite off his fucking finger.

He pulled away and looked at you before turning off the light and cuddling onto you.

The sun rised up illuminating your hickey and scar littered body in sunlight.

Katsuki woke up and whispered in your ears.

"Promise me you never leave me? Do you love me now....?"

Did you guys like it? Rate it in the discussion from 1/10 please... I really need tips or something..

This was the first time trying to write a yandere story I hope I did well!

Bye guys, see you in the next story!

[rumblelibrary]

hii!! i saw your requests are open, if you’re not too busy could you write something about Laszlo falling in love with reader (she’s a friend of Sara’s and helping with the case) but he keeps trying to avoid his feelings and remain professional and friendly until then he gets jealous of Marcus (or maybe John whoever you think works best) and starts being mean and pushing her away and then John or Sara are like “really?? can you not see that she likes you?” and he apologizes and it’s all fluffy at the end??

that was a bit long sorry, i hope you’re having a great day💗💗

Worlds Apart [Dr Laszlo Kreizler x Reader]

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Laszlo being his usual adorable dumbass

Author’s note: Thank you so much for giving me the chance to write your story, hope you’ll enjoy it 💗💗

The first time your presence graced him was on an infamous rainy day. He didn’t mind rain, but it was the kind of storm that forced kids inside the Institute and some of them really benefitted of the time spent outside. So when you appeared at his doorstep escorted by Cyrus, a little of wetness on your shoulders and your hat, arms tightly grasping a big bunch of paper folders, untouched by the heavy weather clearly at your expenses, you looked like a gift from the above.

“Sara Howard contacted me, My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I work for the Town Hall Archives” you introduced yourself, a polite smile softening him. “It is my pleasure to finally meet you, Dr Kreizler” you added.

He blinked realising he was staring while your words moved past him without affecting him.

“Please, Sara told me you are going to be vital in the unravelling of this case, call me Laszlo”

He opened his arm on side letting you in as Cyrus walked away closing the door behind himself. A sense of guilt creeping over him, he realised how low his mind went to appreciate your physical side first and your sweet smile next, if men were anything different from the beasts, then why indulge still in such raw details. From that moment on, he decided, he would not do you the same disrespect. Little he knew that once he forbid himself to take grace of the sight of you, he would be overwhelmed by your bright mind. As you exposed those files to him you two started working together, day after day, time after time, a little dance of turning pages, soft smile, excited discoveries. Your smile affecting him in unpredicted ways, your good heart weakening his mask, your calm demure forbidding his raging fits. Anything of you made him better, any part of you was loved and worshipped by him, your position quickly transitioning from helpful hand, to admirable being and now to an ideal. A sense of necessity creeping over him every time you closed the space between the two of you to show him something, every time he stared at you wrapped up some archive ladder to find this or that file. Another thing you earned from him with time, the hardest maybe, was the ability to make him chuckle. You weren’t a goofball but you knew when to break down his thought process to bring him back to a quieter state. He liked you, he was even considering to offer you to leave the Town Hall Archives to work as his secretary at the Institute. The benefits of your presence made his work better and your natural tendency to method blessing his day to day activities with balance. Laszlo didn’t like to admit it, but a sense of possessiveness was also growing on him, he knew what was going on in his mind, or to better say it in his heart, but he refused to acknowledge it. The case was on, after the case maybe.

Or maybe never.

That’s what he thought when, after an interview at the house of a potential future patient of the institute, he took a stroll on the main road, his eyes darting on the flower shop only to recognise you there. Your figure associated with the colourful gifts of nature made his heart skip a beat, a sense of joy filled him soon to disappear when Marcus Isaacson figure appeared beside you holding three or four different kind of flowers in large bouquets, all of them meaning something love related: attraction, desire, kinship.

Those meanings pestered his thoughts, your soft laugh hitting his ears like an angel choir. Your hand lifting up as Marcus bowed his head toward you, your bare fingers running through his curls pulling out some wild leaf that got tangled among them.

“Silly me” he chanted like a child that has zero guilt about earning something undeserved “Come on Y/N, pick your favourite, I can’t hold them all forever”.

Laszlo’s eyes narrowed on him, hating the urgency in his voice, before drifting on the big bouquets, the carnations attracting his gaze, the meaning: pure love, faithfulness, also motherly love.

“The carnations” you said without a doubt moving your arms among the flower to pick them, the closeness you shared rubbing Laszlo in the wrong way.

A sudden realisation hitting him, rage boiling as he turned on his heels to rush to the Institute. What a fool he was, mistaking your natural kindness for…what? Interest for a cripple? Tenderness for a lonely angry man? His jaw clenched, rage surging through him, on that day the door of his office slammed so hard nobody dared to call for him, not even for dinner. When the next day you came to bring some papers and revise some new information, he was keeping a two meters distance all the time, if not more. Anything you said was welcomed with sounds the usual good morning disappeared.

“Laszlo” you called him after more than one hour spent welcomed by only silence and grunts “Did something happen? Maybe, I could help..”

“What exactly gives the impression I need your help?” He shot back before you could even mutter another sentence or even conclude the one you just begun.

His eyes raising from the papers he was holding, his hand moved to his glasses taking them off “As far as my knowledge goes, you’re here to support the investigation with documents and research, not to interfere with my personal life or a job like mine that requires not only tact but also a severe respect of the patient’s privacy”

You closed your mouth suddenly as he never reacted in such a way toward you. Usually he seemed to like to engage with you, to hear your thoughts and opinions, now his hard glare was dooming over you like the Judgment Day.

“I apologise” you resumed to say, maybe it was a bad day, those bad days John teased him about so many times, but that you never encountered before.

So you moved back to your spot respecting the distance he wanted, he put his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

Nothing more was said.

That evening when you were about to leave you thanked him and wished him a good night, as you always did. Silence again, only one hand to be lifted as he didn’t even turn to talk to you. His reaction gutted you and from that day on to visit him turned into the heaviest hours of the day. There was no room for chat, no room for accommodation. You even brought some sweets one day thinking he might like it and he handed those just as quickly to the kids. You even asked him if you wronged him and he said there was nothing wrong.

After two weeks like this, you sat behind your desk at the Town Hall resigned to live with his silence, you stared at a little note he wrote to you once to thank you of your help with some documents titles underneath.

I admire your dedication to the case. Your help is invaluable L.K.

You read, but that didn’t stand anymore, for some reason.

“What’s that long face for?”

Sara asked leaning against your desk as you slipped that piece of paper underneath your notebook. You already gave Laszlo all the documents requested, you could throw that away, but you didn’t.

“I think I upset Dr Kreizler”

Sara looked at you surprised by the way you resumed calling him by his title, like you were trying to gain distance from him. You looked at her incisive look as you quietly explained to her your fears and doubts, what was going on and how you probably should ask John a way to repair the situation, because you were clueless. After your conversation Sara didn’t think about it twice and after concluding her duties she stormed at Laszlo’s office only to find him engaged in the billionth argument with John.

“What have you told to Y/N?”

She asked, a proper mad mama bear as she stared at him mercilessly, she was aiming for the throat and John looked at him puzzled.

“What have you done Laszlo? Having a fine woman interested on you hits so differently?”

Laszlo was about to answer Sara when he suddenly felt attacked on too many fronts.

“Wait, I beg your pardon? I think you have got into some mistake, John”

John looked at him and then at Sara as she shook her head impatiently and already fed up with Laszlo’s ways.

“She does like you Laszlo, where is your problem about it?” She inquired more “Is she not a doctor enough for your likings? Do you want a duchess or something? Because I don’t understand, if you’re not interested to her at least be human”

By this moment Laszlo was still incredule and a chuckle almost left his lips

“I think you are mistaken Sara, Y/N is in a relationship with Marcus Isaacson, I stumbled upon them already”

“Marcus? I thought he was seeing that Esther girl, Lucius complained about his lack of focus more than once, how did you manage to erase her interest that quick Laszlo?” John said surprised and Sara had to hold onto her iron will not to slap the both of them in their faces.

“You two are worse than any little town blabbermouth” she snapped.

John frowned feeling accused and Laszlo was ready to give her a lecture that could last until the end of times when you walked inside in a rush.

“Excuse me” you said out of breath, mud stained your dress as you clearly run your way to her Institute handing them a file “This just came”.

You gulped down as Sara glared at Laszlo while she guided you to have a glass of water.Laszlo studied the document without even acknowledging your presence, another victim served on a plate.

That evening he went to see the body, the Isaacson’s giving a full display of the wounds and marks on the body to him and John. By the rules of the obituary, you and Sara weren’t welcomed inside as they were.  You sat silently, slowly tracing the stain on your skirt thinking how bad Laszlo’s impression of you must be now that you even showed yourself in such an improper manner, such a gentleman like him witnessing you in such a state. When they came out of the obituary Sara stood up as you remained sat, the warm presence of Laszlo now hunting you like a ghost every time he is around.

“The murderer knows we re close” Laszlo stated as he sighed, ashamed that another life was lost “I think that this victim in particular..”

“Y/N!”

Marcus interrupted him rushing out of the obituary with his bloody apron still on, his less than sanitary clean hand on your shoulder as Laszlo was ready to reduce the both of you to dust for interrupting him.

“Excuse me Doctor” Marcus head shot up to him before looking back down at you “Thank you for helping with the gifts, Esther adored them, we are going out again tonight” he said excitedly to you and a big smile, the first of the day, blossomed on your lips.

“I told you, you should trust me more often” you said and he nodded vehemently “If things go this good, I will come to ask you to help me with the ring” he said completely hyped up, bouncing curls everywhere, as you crossed your fingers for him and he repeated the gesture before disappearing again called by his brother who was fed up with his love talks already.

Sara crossed her arms as John’s stare went up to Laszlo’s face, the sudden realisation of his mistake hit him like a bag of bricks. A mix of shame and happiness filling him up. And now the doubt: did he ruined his chances forever? The next morning you came into his office, you never stopped wishing him good morning and being polite, no matter his attitude.

“Y/N” he called you as you were placing your belongings aside. Your surprised look due to his softened tone was unmissable to him.

“Come here, I wish to talk to you”

You grew nervous as he didn’t say much else, so you walked to him sitting on the couch beside him, the one where you shared so many talks not too long before, even if now it felt like an eternity.

“I want to apologise to you” he blurted out all together, no need to move around the topic even though that only affirmation run over you harder than any other phrase.

You didn’t reply, allowing him to proceed.

“I apologise, because I have been selfish and foolish” he said, the fingers of his left hand touching nervously the armchair “I have been mistreating you only because my pride was hurt, I have acted like a man without means and courage.”

You parted your lips but he interrupted you before you could even begin.

“Please, let me finish, I have felt from the beginning a prominent fondness toward you. Your character and your kindness make you a remarkable person, you have the talent of bringing out the best out of most people, me included. But I have misread your ways and pointed your natural disposition to a form of romantic interest directed on me and our common friend Marcus Isaacson”

He was still excluding the possibility of you being attracted to him.

“I thought there was something behind it and I acted like a child instead of asking you directly, and I am ashamed for that”

You stared at him, a little smile creeping onto your lips.

“I think you misread only half of the situation Laszlo, as always you’re too unkind on yourself” you said gathering all the courage you had “because my interest toward you was honest while my relationship with Marcus is nothing by friendly”

Now it was Laszlo’s turn to be silenced, a new realisation creeping into his bones, a hope becoming a possibility.

“And is that honest interest still alive after my despicable ways?”

Your smile grew pulled by the redness spreading on your cheeks.

“Maybe” he interrupted. He didn’t want to wait for your answer, your smile spoke for you “maybe we can further bring this conversation to Delmonico’s, tonight, just the two of us”

Your smile grew bigger, his eyes shining for you.

“It will be my pleasure” you answered only, not knowing a bouquet of carnations was already being delivered at your house to welcome you once you’ll be back.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief@thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved​ @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio Let me know if you want to get tagged too <3

[ushidoux]

Be My Last - Iwaizumi x  Reader (Pt. 5)

Summary: You have trouble getting over a past relationship and it’s preventing you from moving forward. (~1.6 words)

Warnings: angst, mention of kid and implied marriage.

A/N: We’re at the end here! I hope you’re okay with the way this ended, and if not... *shrug* LOLLLL, we can talk about it. Thanks for reading up to now!! <333 See you in my next fic!!

Part 1|| Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

-

Iwaizumi returned late that evening to realize that you were nowhere to be found.

It shouldn’t have been this alarming for him to not see you hanging upside down off the edge of the couch watching tv, futzing around in the kitchen, maybe staring out off the small balcony or snuggled up under the covers.

But you were absent, and on top of everything, the sight of a dark home proved to be too much for him to handle. Moreover, the home hadn’t always really been his, had it? It was yours and Ushijima’s far before he’d even come into the picture.

He had just been filling a space, just as he’d promised you.

He checked his phone only to be further defeated by the lack of a text message to let him know you were going out. You always let him know.

Iwaizumi turned on his heels and went back to his car. The roads were clearer now and he needed to drive. He needed to go, somewhere. It didn’t matter where to.

Years pass.

“Hot cocoa, please!”

Your daughter collapsed in your arms as she made this request, having run in your direction from the opposite side of the sitting room. She grinned widely, her brownish-green eyes seeming to sparkle despite the low light of the room. She is truly the happiest child, you thought for a moment, smiling as you mussed her hair affectionately.

“Okay, baby, we can get some,” you agreed, pulling her close for a kiss on the forehead, because how could you say no to that pure joy on her face?

“Did you have fun with your new friends?” You asked, rising.

You’d been watching her for a while now, seated in an overstuffed armchair by a roaring fire, thankful to be insulated from the frigid winter weather (turned out the cold of Eastern Europe was an entirely different type of cold than you were used to). It was a pleasure to see her discharge energy, bouncing around the other little kids at the ski lodge resort you’d been residing at since this past weekend.

She nodded. “That’s why I’m gonna drink it really fast so we can play some more!”

You chuckled, and held her little hand tightly. At least someone was having fun.

You on the other hand had decided you hated skiing with a passion six hours into the vacation after spilling spectacularly more than enough times on one of the beginner slopes. Not wanting to ruin your husband’s fun, you’d convinced him to let you stay behind with your four-year-old so that she could socialize, you could have a break, and he could try one of the more exciting slopes. 

Everyone won.

Well, sorta. He’d pouted as he set out on his own, and now you felt a little bad. Maybe you’d try again the next morning for him after you left your little one at a kids’ event.

“Is Daddy coming back soon?” 

Your little princess’ legs swung excitedly as she sipped her hot cocoa with far too many marshmallows, just after you’d blown at it a little to make sure she didn’t burn herself.

“Daddy will join us soon,” you assured her, your own hands warm with a cup of tea.

---

“I’m sorry.”

Before you is a glass of water with too much lemon. You’re seated at a diner, the very diner where you’d first confessed your feelings for him, and he’s speaking to you but you barely hear him - all you hear is the rushing of blood in your temples. 

Why now? What do you do with sorry after all this time?

Wakatoshi sees your expression and cracks a weary smile. 

“I shouldn’t say that, should I? It’s too little, too late.”

He’s right but you don’t answer.

It’s weird to see him after all these years, seated just across from you as though you were on a date as usual. You can imagine a heaping stack of pancakes between you, covered in too much fruit and too much syrup and him chastising you before you force a berry into his mouth. You can imagine laughter. You can imagine gentle touches, kisses, hugs. You can imagine the words ‘I love you.’

Is that what he’s sorry for?

“To-... Wakatoshi, why did you message me?” You don’t mean to sound curt, but if you speak longer you feel as though your voice will give out.

He winces almost imperceptibly at the use of his full name. But he’s always been steadier than you, emotion-wise. At least you think so.

“I wish it had been different.”

“So do I,” you say, quickly before thinking. But you don’t really, do you? 

There’s a man who loves you, possibly more than he loves himself, than he loves anything in the world. And if it weren’t for this, for Ushijima ‘releasing’ you, no matter how harshly, you wouldn’t have had the experience to be loved by him.

“I was wrong.”

He was. He was absolutely wrong. But what’s wrong and what’s right no longer matters. What matters is what is.

He pauses and sighs. You can see his hands now grip the end of the table as though to keep steady. 

“Thank you for coming.”

There is another pause, one that is suddenly too great for you to handle, where you want to sigh but instead you draw in a double breath.

You’re embarrassed because you do not intend to cry. Not after all this. Not in front of him. 

“You didn’t love me enough to compromise,” you end up sputtering out.

Your tears aren’t falling yet but your eyes swim and you blink them back furiously. “Why all this? Why now?”

He blinks once and you can see his fingers tighten around the edge of the booth, knuckles white.

“I was stupid then. I’m different now.”

The fact that his eyes are so sincere makes your heart wrench. You know that he doesn’t lie, he’s never felt a need to.

It’s a response that infuriates you but your anger is cool rather than hot and it’s diffuse, deafening and directionless. There’s no one to be mad at except the very fabric of time.

What do I do with this? What can I do?

Your heart settles, and you measure your next words carefully. 

---

“Daddy!”

Your daughter’s eyes widened immediately as she saw him approach behind you, and in mere seconds, she jumped out of her chair to embrace her father, nearly knocking over her hot cocoa in the process. You managed to salvage it to your credit, and you turned in your chair to flash a teasing grin.

“How were the slopes?”

---

“There was once a time where I would have followed you anywhere if you asked me to. Maybe it was unhealthy, maybe it was naïve, but I truly loved you to that extent. I would have left everything behind if you asked.”

The solemn look he sports on his face, so stoic as a defense mechanism that it seems almost caricature-like, only confirms that he knew. He knew that every word you said was true, and yet... 

“I thought it was the best decision at the time. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore.”

Maybe he was right. That sort of reckless love, especially when not reciprocated in earnest could only result in pain. 

His intentions were good. They were good. That’s what matters.

He had a reason.

----

Hajime frowned at you, which in turn made his little princess, now perched on his hip frown as well. 

“Your mother’s not being very nice, now is she?” He murmured, as he approached, now settling her back in the chair across from you. “She didn’t even want to ski with me!”

His arms crossed over his chest as he stood beside you now, a pretend-grumpy look on his face.

Your four year-old gasped. “What?! Mommy’s mean? Are you a bully?”

“Hey!” You nudged Iwa in the ribs. “Don’t make me out to be the bad guy! I’m coming with you tomorrow!”

To this, your husband’s eyes lit up, and he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, resting his chin on your head.

“You’d do that for me, my clumsy little penguin?” He whispered, just low enough that your little girl, who had now contented herself back to drinking her hot cocoa couldn’t hear.

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“If you keep making fun of me, you’ll be on your own again, and possibly so for the rest of this vacation,” you grumbled back, but he laughed in earnest to your threat, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek before dragging the nearest chair towards your table to complete your circle.

“So what do my favorite girls want for dinner?”

---

When Ushijima’s hands finally relax, and he places them clasped together on the table, you find yourself reaching for them. It’s no longer a natural, intrinsic movement of the arm and hand, the way it was years ago when you always yearned for physical contact. It’s now measured and intentional.

You squeeze his hands and they feel different. They’re larger, colder, rougher than Iwa’s are. It’s not a bad thing; just not the same. You can imagine that intertwining your fingers with his would feel imperfect, maybe even wrong.

You’ve changed. And he’s changed.

“Wakatoshi…”

You pause, and your hands linger. 

It’s hard to look in his eyes when you say this, but you do anyway. Their eyes are almost the same color, but Iwa’s are greener. An old idiom comes to mind and you banish it from your mind.

“You will always be my first love, but Hajime will be my last one.”

[wouldduskwood]

Jake's POV Descendants of Despair 18+ Part 1

Duskwood - Fanfic JakexMC

Contains Smut (if you want to read the lead up to this, read to part 16)

Every movement of her lips against mine caused an unmistakable fire through my whole body. My mind, that before had been so consumed with anger and pain, was suddenly entirely focused on her. Her touch was addictive and I craved more. I was disappointed when she suddenly pulled her lips away from mine, then watched in complete awe as she removed her hoodie, t-shirt and sports bra, exposing her naked breasts to me. Before I could react, her lips pressed hungrily against mine once again.

“Wait,” I mumbled against her lips, causing her to pull back. I was suddenly terrified. “It’s just…I uh…it’s been a while since I…took care of things.” I admitted quietly. “Having you this close is making me…uh…very aware of that.”

“Likewise,” she replied quietly.

“But, it isn’t the same is it?” I asked hesitantly. “I don’t think I can…last long enough to fulfil you. Our first time should be amazing for you too.” Shit, I was already thinking towards a future with this girl. What sort of magic did she hold? How had she done this to me?

“If you want the time and space to take care of things yourself, of course I will give you that, but you don’t have to worry about my fulfilment. I want to be close to you…and if you are worried about my body responding to you then…” she grinned slyly and took my hand in hers, placing it against her nipple. I closed my eyes and put my head back, trying to fight against my own desires. The softness of her breast felt incredible under my hand, her nipple already hard against my palm. My breathing became shallow, and my palm began to move against her breast, hardening the nipple further.

This completely surprised me, the way her body was instantly reacting to my touch. She let a small moan escape her lips, which broke down the last of my defenses.  I moved my head back to face her then kissed her deeply, keeping my hand on her breast and wrapping my other arm around her drawing her closer to me. My cock was straining against my pants and I knew she would feel my excitement as I pressed into her “Hm” I whispered as I broke away from our kiss.

I motioned for her to stand, and as she did, I scooped her up in my arms once more and carried her to the mattress on the floor, wishing I had a bed for her. I lowered her down carefully and lay down beside her, caressing her face and body with my hand. My breathing quickened as I traced around her breasts and nipples. I grinned and questioned in wonder “Am I really doing all of this to you?” “Yes,” she whimpered. “But, with great power…comes great…responsibility” she moaned as my hand trailed over her breasts again. I grinned teasingly.

“You are so incredibly beautiful.” I murmured as I admired her beauty, my eyes roaming over her body up and down, before resting on hers. While maintaining eye contact, I removed my hoodie in one smooth motion. I lowered my lips to her neck kissing gently as one of my hands made its way to the top of her jeans, undoing the button and zip. I increased the pressure on her neck as I began to suck and nibble lightly until she put her hand on my head “No visible marks” she groaned. I so desperately wanted to mark her body, to feel like she carried a small part of me, but I followed her instruction and instead kissed my way down her body, stopping to grin every time she arched her back or her breathing quickened. Her every movement was like an aphrodisiac and how I craved more.

As I reached her waist, she arched her back, allowing me to remove her jeans.  When I reached her panties, I stopped and whispered “mm, so wet…all for me?” She was a Goddess in my eyes. “Oh God yes,” she groaned softly. I placed my nose into the warm wetness of her panties and inhaled deeply. Her scent was the sweetest perfume and sent a thrill straight to my cock. The slight pressure was enough to make her moan and call out my name breathlessly. I grinned and kissed her panties, focusing my lips on her clit. I was stunned when an orgasm rippled through her body. She gasped and moaned, arching her back as she did. I moaned softly as well. “Wow, you are incredible..” I whispered breathlessly. I pulled at her panties. “Time for these to go…?” I questioned. She nodded and allowed me to remove them. I smiled “I want to make you orgasm again as I lick you.”

I kissed up her thighs, marveling at the definition. A slight shiver of anger rippled up my spine as I saw the wound on her thigh, covered with a dressing. But as I continued to explore her body I soon forgot about it, allowing my mouth to get as close as I could to her groin without yet touching it, hoping she would feel the warmth of my breath on her now naked pussy. She moaned and writhed impatiently which made me grin. I lowered myself down and licked up and down her folds before flicking my tongue slowly over her clit. I sucked and kissed softly and deeply, increasing the intensity as she moaned loudly. The sweet taste of her pussy enveloped me. She bit her hand as she screamed through another orgasm. My tongue lapped at her juices excitedly. “Wow…” I moaned as I came up for breath. Standing, I removed the rest of my clothing, kicking them onto the floor.

My hand rubbed against my hard cock, a sheen of precum already glistening from the tip. “Mm, I want you so bad right now.” I kept my eyes on her as I lowered my body onto hers. The softness of her skin contrasted with her lightly muscled body. My cock pushed hesitantly against the entrance to her vagina and a wave of sudden pleasure erupted through me as she pushed onto me. It was intense enough for a moan to escape my lips. I buried my cock deep inside her, savouring the feeling of her tight, wet pussy. I started a slow rhythm, making her moan softly. She was so incredible. I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her deeply, still rocking slowly into her pussy. The pleasure was so intense. I lifted myself from our kiss and became lost in the pure feeling of it all as my thrusts became heavier.

Her legs curled around my back as I struggled to hold back my own orgasm for as long as I could. She had no idea what she was doing to me. Her hands gripped the exposed skin of my shoulders, slick with my sweat. She clutched me, grabbing me closer. I craved her touch. My gaze met hers once again as I lifted a hand briefly to caress her face and push the loose hair out of her eyes. I couldn't believe how intense my joy was in this moment.

“I can’t hold it back any longer…” I grunted and released my load deep inside her, groaning loudly as I clutched her hand and pushed it into the mattress. As the intensity of my own orgasm began to wane, her body rocked with a third orgasm, clamping around my sensitive cock. She writhed against my body, moaning and visibly exhausted. I collapsed on top of her, my cock still twitching inside her, and lay contentedly for a moment. “That was incredible..” I whispered, well aware that my words were a complete understatement. “I have never experienced such intensely physical and emotional feelings in my life…” I was pleased when she nodded in agreement and caressed my naked flesh, causing me to shiver.

I rolled off her but I wasn't willing to let her go just yet. I pulled her close to me so her head rested against my chest. Lying contentedly with her in my arms, I could no longer deny that I was only possibly in love with her. My love for her radiated through my whole being. As my eyes grew heavy, I realised I couldn't fight anymore, she had to know how I felt. “I love you…” I murmured, then inhaling the scent of her hair, I began thinking of myself as less of a hacker and more of a boyfriend... her boyfriend. I drifted into the most comfortable sleep I have ever had.

Part 17

[xenospacebabe]

Broken Wings pt2.

A/N: Ya’ll thanks so much for the positive reaction to my first drabble! A few of you asked me to continue it so I think I’ll make this a little bit of an ongoing thing. Enjoy! Also, I’m doing this all from my phone, so I can’t do page breaks. Apologies to anyone just scrolling by!

Summary: After breaking one of his wings, Hawks breaks into an animal clinic for some help. Little does he know that the doctor there would occupy his mind this much.

For some reason, this had been the longest week in your career. Your techs noticed that you were a little bit distracted in the moments of downtime between patients. But they knew better than to pry into your personal business, history proved that you had a very solid separation between work and real life. You never mixed business with pleasure and it made you a better doctor, in your opinion. It helped you focus more intently on your patients and their care.

That being said, even the most complicated cases couldn’t stop your mind from wandering back to the winged hero who essentially broke into your clinic for a broken wing. You wondered if he was taking your advice by resting his wings and his body. However given that he was the number 2 hero, you knew that probably wasn’t very likely.

After the last surgery of the day was finished, and the last client was out the door, you and your technicians cleaned up the clinic so they could all go home. First to arrive last to leave, today was no different. But today you showed up early just in case Hawks-...Keigo.. decided to drop by before you opened for a check-up. And when he didn’t, you were frustrated with disappointment you felt. You remained hopeful that he would appear tonight.

By the second hour after closing and no sign of the pro hero, you felt your heart hanging in your stomach. So with a heavy sigh, you started checking hospitalized patients to make sure they had what they needed and turning off lights. Though just as you had given up and opened the side door to leave, you were greeted with a full vision of giant wings.

He was there.

“Keigo!” You yelped out in excitement, the smile on your face illuminated the space between you.

“Hey Doc.” His voice drawled, smirking. He liked how happy you looked to see him. It made his heart flutter in a funny way. “Miss me?”

“Maybe. Come inside, we’ll get you checked out.” You retreated back into the clinic and he brushed past you. The discouragement you felt earlier faded away with every passing second and was replaced with pure joy.

Keigo followed you into exam and leaned onto the counter, sharp eyes trained on you with a bright intensity. You weren’t able to put your finger on how it made you feel when his gaze was headstrong on you. Nervous? Excited?

“So, how are you feeling? Any pain or numbness?” Right to business. He admired that about you. Instead of fawning over him and tripping over your words, you were calm and composed. At least, that’s what you wanted him to think. Inside, you were in chaos.

“Ehh...not really. It’s sore but that’s about it.” The wing in mention shifted slightly. You noticed that the splint you had placed was in really good condition. Save for a few rubbed spots where you assumed he was trying to scratch. That meant he was resting, taking your advice in stride.

“You know, there’s no secret cameras or microphones here. You don’t have to pretend.” He froze in place, his expression stilled with shock. Keigo hadn’t realized he was being that transparent. But honestly, it was easy to see. The bags under his eyes indicated he wasn’t sleeping well. Or at all. You waited for a response. This wasn’t uncommon. Pet parents lied all the time to make it seem like they weren’t making any mistakes when their animal was sick. But honesty helped you help them. And eventually, they would always relent.

“Damn, it’s that obvious huh?”

“Oh yeah. So, spill it.” Your hands slowly reached for the wing to get a feel of the splint. It needed a few adjustments which could be easily done.

“It uh...aches. And it’s really dull and ongoing. But it goes away. I can handle it.” Nodding along to his explanation you fished into a drawer beside him for scissors, another roll of tape, and a few pads of gauze.

“I can write you a script to fill at a pharmacy for some relief. And don’t think of telling me no. Is the pain ever sharp?” He nodded quietly.

“Is that bad?” You gingerly removed the tape and padding from the existing splint, making sure to not pull on his feathers or apply unnecessary pressure to the break.

“No, so long as it doesn’t keep up and you don’t have any fevers or anything like that. If you don’t care, I want to get another xray to see where we’re at as far as healing goes.”

The hero grinned, looking so smug and you didn’t know why. He leaned in close, his nose only a few inches away from yours. From this short distance you could really see how rich the golden color of his eyes were, just like an actual hawk. However, the stare she was getting wasn’t from just any bird. It was from this handsome, charming pro hero who make your insides squirm.

“If you wanted me to take off my shirt all you had to do was ask.” The redness came to your face in a rush and you suddenly felt hot. The sound of his chuckling only made your heart race and palms sweat.

“I-I-...it’s just easier-...we don’t have to-...”

“Relax, I’m kidding~” You sighed as he removed his jacket followed by the top of his hero uniform. His skin was significantly less bruised, you noticed. The cuts and abrasions were healing very well. However, in taking in the state of his wounds, you didn’t realize that you were staring.

Keigo’s physique was so clean and cut that you couldn’t help but wonder how his skin felt beneath your palms. What the heat of his body felt like. Eventually, you became aware of your unwavering stare and cleared your throat to break the awkward silence.

Several moments and a few xrays later...

“Okay, so everything is starting to bond the way it should. See the humerus here?” Your finger pointed to the bone with a jagged fusion starting. He nodded to indicate he understood. “It’s still pretty unstable so will need to remain splinted. But that’s normal for a break like this.”

Shouldering his jacket and slipping his arms into the sleeves, he popped the collar back up into place before sighing.

“Right, still grounded.” The tone of his voice seemed sad but you were understanding of why. For someone with as little freedom as Keigo, denying the one thing that made him feel liberated felt like a punishment.

“I’m sorry, Keigo. But you’re doing great so far. I’m really happy with the progress I’m seeing.”

The process of resplinting his wing was painful, but not as bad as it was the week before. You made sure to layer the gauze carefully so the bones would be cushioned and safe. Keigo admired how gentle your hands were, how soft your palms felt against his sensitive feathers. It took a lot of effort to remain composed around you. But as soon as you were done and your hands left him, he was left with a lingering sense of longing.

The hero followed you out and into your office where you sat down in the old chair that had been there almost as long as you’d been alive. He looked around and noticed all the pictures and belongings that decorated the walls and shelves. Honing in on one photo in the middle of the wall of a little girl holding what appeared to be a newborn foal, he looked back at you.

“Is this you?”

“Hm? Oh. Yeah. That was the first foal I ever helped my dad deliver when he was working with horses.” Keigo looked impressed and moved down the line of frames. Lots of smiling faces and memories.

“You were a cute kid, y’know?” Hands shifted into his pockets and he leaned against a filing cabinet. You scoffed and waved your hand dismissively. “No really. You grew up into a really beautiful woman. Inside and out.”

“Really?” You looked at him in confusion. Your hair was a mess and you were wearing yesterday’s mascara. Surely he was just teasing you like those boys did in elementary school. Always picking on you because you came to school with horses on your tshirts and nose always buried in books about animals.

“Well yeah. I don’t just let anyone put their hands on my wings and have my feathers, you know.”

“About that. Why did-..”

“I can’t explain it, but I just wanted to make sure you were safe, I guess.” You were thankful for the dim lighting of your small office so he wouldn’t see your cheeks blush. You weren’t used to compliments like that and it showed.

“So uh-...Same time next week, Doc?” He could sense your exhaustion and decided not to keep you here longer than needed. But even so, you visibly pouted at the thought of saying goodbye again. Without thinking, you found a sticky note and quickly scribbled something down before handing it to him. “What’s this?”

“J-just for emergencies. It’s my cell number. If you know...if you feel any pain or need anything while the clinic is closed.” As he looked at the numbers you wrote the prescription you mentioned earlier which he then accepted and slipped into his pocket.

“Heh alright. Maybe I’ll shoot you a text if I get lonely.” The panic on your face made him laugh. You really were cute. Why did he have to say it like that?

“Oh my god, just go!” You shrieked, shoving him out the door while he continued to laugh. However before he relented and disappeared, he turned quickly and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You stood still in stunned silence. Your skin tingled where his lips had been, fingers lifting to touch the spot in disbelief.

“See ya later. I’ll text you.” Keigo backed away down and disappeared into the dark alley. Leaving you standing there wondering if you had dreamed what just happened. Your heart raced, the pulse thundering in your ears

Oh no....

[boxofbadaddiction]

Build Me Up, Buttercup

George Weasley x Reader

Song Inspired

Warnings: Zilch. Pure Fluff.

Life at the Burrow can get pretty hectic. With so many people running in and out all of the time things can quickly get out of hand. So, fortunately for Mrs Weasley she had so many ready and willing children to lend a hand when necessary.

Okay, maybe 'ready and willing' is a stretch. It's more of a 'whether you like it or not' arrangement if we're being honest. But regardless it gets the jobs done.

Today being no exception, so while Molly and Arthur left for town to run some errands preparing for the new school year, there were a list of chores for her 'happy' helpers; Fred, George, Y/n, Ron, Harry and Ginny, to get done.

Ron and Harry were set the challenge of De-Gnoming the garden, Ginny had a chicken coop to clean, Fred - to his great pleasure - were on laundry duty (though last George saw there weren't much folding going on. More his brother were sprawled out dramatically over a pile of towels groaning loudly), Y/n meanwhile was on kitchen duty and so that left George the very taxing chore of cleaning the attic. Molly were sure to give he and Fred separate jobs knowing full well, left to their own devices, no work would get done - if anything she'd come home to a bigger mess.

George hated the attic, it were so cluttered and stuffy. Not to mention the Ghoul were no help with all the racket he liked to make banging one piece of junk against the other. Thankfully, however, he were nearly finished.

Placing the final box atop the others he'd organised George dusted his hands before resting them on his hips with a tired sigh.

He let his eyes roam the space - damn they had some junk. Although there were a notable improvement thanks to his efforts. All that remained was to dust the, many, cobwebs and sweep the floors.

Looking around the room he noticed the broom and dustpan were nowhere in sight - that's when he remembered y/n had been using them to clean the living room earlier. As he was sure she'd be finished using them by now, he turned to descend the staircase, ducking briefly to avoid an old pan the Ghoul threw in protest of the houses usual quietness, George made his way towards the sitting room.

Passing Fred, whom were not much better off than when he'd started - still groaning, but now upright and reluctantly folding, this brought an amused smile to his twins face until something piqued his curiosity. There were Muggle music coming from the bottom floor.

Y/n, being a half-blood, had introduced the Weasleys to some records from her home on her previous visit and must have put one on to listen to whilst she cleaned.

As he drew nearer the music grew louder and more recognisable. Her record of The Foundations was playing - a favourite of hers George had learned.

As he reached the bottom flight of stairs his eyes scanned the room - y/n had done an excellent job - unfortunately though the object he required were nowhere to be found. Turning to step off the landing George reddied to ask y/n if she were done using it, assuming she'd carried on her good work to the dining room, but he found himself halted by the sight before him.

Y/n were by the sink scrubbing this mornings dishes. But that's not what stopped him in his tracks. She were dancing and singing along to the record as she did so - quite passionately.

George leant against the nearby cabinet as he admired her while she 'performed', so obliviously happy wrapped up in her own little world. He watched the way her hips swayed in time with the beat, the slight bounce in her step as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. How her hair was flowing wildly with each silly head-bang and nod along. He could see the way her face lit up in joy by the faint reflection in the window. His favourite thing by far though was the way she used the scrubbing brush as a microphone as she sang along.

His smile grew as the next song began to play, which he knew she were very fond of, and her enthusiasm seemed to increase ten fold.

Her arms flailed about of their own accord as she danced, singing excitedly, "Why do you build me up, Buttercup, baby, just to let me down?"

It were moments like these George found himself falling for her harder - everytime. When she finally let her walls down and would let herself be truly happy and unashamedly expressive of her real - crazy - self. A side he wished she'd show more.

His relationship with y/n were complicated in a way. They've known each other for years. Grown up in the same small town and had been sorted into the same house at Hogwarts; so naturally she'd always been close with the Weasleys, especially the Twins, and over the years it became blatantly obvious to everyone, even y/n and George, that they'd developed feelings for each other.

They'd just never managed to act on them.

There'd been plenty of moments. Nights spent up late talking by the fire of the common room. Plenty of long walks by the Black Lake. Plenty of midnight snack runs to the kitchens and Butterbeers drank in Hogsmead. Plenty of moments, just never the right one.

A slight chuckle rolled from the back of Georges throat as he watched on and y/ns movements became more energetic and her voice began to carry more over the music

"...worst of all, you never call, baby. When you say you will. But I still-" y/n had spun in place only to be met with the realisation she were no longer alone and that her little concert had an on-looker.

George stood smugly, with arms folded as his tongue slowly came to wet his lips and a wide toothy smile graced his features.

Y/n was frozen like a deer in headlights. Her make shift microphone still held high. Her eyes left his as she drew a heavy breath but simply shrugged and carried on with her karaoke, only now it weren't a show for the dishes - she instead began to serenade George.

She smoothly tossed the scourer from one hand into the other, her dominant one now pointed dramatically at George as she sung,

"I need you! More than anyone, Darling." George raised his eyebrows in mock surprise as if to say 'oh, really?'

"You know I have from the start" her arm that'd been pointing at the redhead was then swiftly cast high into the air, her head falling back with it singing loudly "so, build me up!" George couldn't help the laugh that erupt from his chest at her theatrics watching as she put her hand over her heart, looking back to him with doey-love eyes, a slight shake to her head finishing the chorus' "don't break my heart" in a loving tone.

As the song continued y/n kept on with her awkward dance moves, beckoning for him to join her. He'd genuinely tried to resist - but he could never say no to her.

His hands found hers twisting in time with the music and twirling her just to hear the laugh it brought from her.

Y/n hadn't expected him to join her much less start singing himself but he did and she couldn't be happier.

"Baby, baby, try to find a little time and I'll make you happy" both were laughing loudly as their moves slowly became more comical. George was swaying her about the room, pushing her away in a twirl before pulling her back into his chest (all those lessons for the Yule ball really paying off right now) as he continued to sing y/n jokingly raised the brush for him to sing into as she had, which he did with as much energy and flare as he does anything.

"But I could be the boy you adore, if you'd just let me know...BA-DAH-DAH!" he yelled the last part particularly loud which nearly had y/n falling to her knees in laughter, but George had caught her.

Y/n snatched the 'microphone' back from him as the chorus came back round and sang sweetly to him once again;

"But I love you still. I need you, more than anyone, Darling. You know that I have since the start. So build me up, Buttercup. Baby, don't break my heart."

George didn't know what came over him. Maybe it were because of how unbelievably adorable she looked in this moment. The way hearing her say 'I love you' got his heart racing, beating harder than a drum. Or simply the build up of years of pointless pining for one another, when they both clearly wanted this - all that wasted time in which they could have been together. Whatever the reason; he knew there'd never be a more right moment than this.

Suddenly his hand was finding her waist and pulling her body tight against his while the other came to her cheek. His thumb delicately traced her bottom lip as his fingers slowly moved to caress and rest lovingly by the nape of her neck.

"I'd never" he'd whispered the words so tenderly, with eyes which seemed to hold more love than could be considered possible. Her body all but melted under his touch, eyes dancing frantically back and forth between his trying to anticipate his next move. But it was her word he was waiting for, he wasn't taking this any further unless he was sure she wanted it, and she did. Her gaze flicked briefly to his lips encouragingly.

Georges hand slowly glided across her soft skin, tracing the line of her jaw till reaching her chin, tilting her head up ever-so-slightly as they leaned towards one another. Their eyes fluttered close, lips only just meeting in a feather-light touch that had y/n inhaling shakily at the tingles which had erupted through her spine. Their lips were just about to connect-

A flash of green and loud crash from the fireplace sent them jumping from their skins. Lungs coughing copious amounts of soot which indicated the return of Mr and Mrs Weasley.

"My, the place looks marvellous" Molly beamed, admiring the dining and living areas. "Afternoon, Kids! Keeping busy then I hope?" Arthur greeted smilingly. "Yeah" George answered, "we're just finishing up the dishes." He grinned down to y/n who was determinately focusing on the two adults in attempt to control her nervousness. "Excellent, well don't let us mind you - we'll be out of your hair in a tick" his father spoke as both parents ascended the staircase fussing over the school supplies they'd purchased.

The teens turned their attention to the long since forgotten dishes in the sink. They worked in comfortable silence, y/n scrubbing as George dried. His eye was constantly being pulled to the girl beside him as he noticed how she were trying - and failing - to hide a smile. Playfully he bumped her hip with his own, which finally turned her attention to him once again. She was waiting for him to speak but he never did. Merely smirking down at her with a glance to her lips, a look that completely broke the girls composed facade as she focused back to the task at hand, biting her lip to suppress a giddy smile.

George did the same, but there were no hiding his own wide smile, not even if he wanted to.

[jaythelittlegay]

Photographer Megumi x Model Yuji AU

➳ CAPTURED HEART

Click, click, click.

"Alright, these seem pretty decent. You can take a break while I go through the pictures." Megumi informed the peachy haired model as he lazily made his way to the laptop, loosely gripping the camera from its sling strap as it slightly shook with each step blue eyed took.

"Thank you for your hard work, Megumi!" Yuji smiled at the photographer, his loud but cheerful voice echoing in the empty studio.

"Yeah, it's my job after all." Megumi reminded while he connected his camera to the laptop before he continued talking dryly, pressing his lips to a thin line to suppress the forming smile. "We still have photoshoot to do, so please make sure to be here within 45 minutes."

"Don't worry! I got this~" Yuji laughed, leaving the studio to get some food suitable for his diet.

He didn't really do dieting quite often since he worked out ever day to keep his body shape; but, this time was an exception, due to the criticism he received after the hiatus he had taken. Yuji was hurt by the comments he saw, but knowing that famous people had no time to relax from society's eyes, he shrugged it off. He didn't hide a lot from media as well; he was indeed one of the most honest and genuine models you could see. He had tons of articles about rescuing or helping people, another reason his popularity heightened. Which is why Megumi was take aback when he first saw Yuji, as he thought the model would drop the nice and polite act.

Megumi chose the pictures he liked, moving them to another folder to discuss it with the model once he came back. Megumi truly felt weird about the model: he actually had never taken pictures of models.

The young professional photographer was known for his photobooks consisting of unique and creative scenery, contemporary works as well as each of them had different concepts, usually related to feelings. He had gotten job requests from models all around the world only to reject them all that he didn't do portraits nor any photoshoot related to humans.

Models would fake the emotions Megumi wanted to portray in his photobook and he detested the idea of having an artificial expressions in his works. Until, Yuji had contacted him. He was going to reject him once he saw the email with Yuji's portfolio attached to it. He didn't even want to check the portfolio however the caramel eyed boy's email had caught him off guard. He apparently was a big fan of Megumi. He had asked whether it would be alright to, at least, watch Megumi work even if the photographer refused to work with him. Megumi got curious of the boy and the moment he checked his portfolio, he was stunned. For the first time, he found someone who could reflect the emotions. Those poses and expressions...just a touch away. Megumi could feel what Yuji did. The boy was a pure artwork in the photographer's eyes, although, he refused to say it out loud.

After their first photoshoot was published and got a lot of attention from the public, Megumi lost his interest in photography. It was confusing and weird. He couldn't create emotions through sceneries anymore; he felt useless as though everything had lost meaning. Yuji on the other hand would always contact him like a friend and blabber about random topics comfortably with him. It almost felt like one sided talk he was having with Megumi but both of them were fine with that. Unadmitted, Megumi enjoyed his company. His stories were intriguing for the latter. However, the lack of motivation in Megumi wasn't unnoticed. Yuji was so concerned about Megumi that he canceled the show he had and visited the sleep deprived Megumi, He forced the words out of Megumi's mouth, he had already created a soft spot in Megumi.

"You have to open up so we can find the cause, Fushiguro!"

"There's nothing to talk about, really." Megumi sighed, feeling guilty once he saw the concern filling Yuji's eyes.

"Are you sure? Are you being honest with me, right now?" Megumi stayed silent, not daring to stare at him. Yuji gripped his hands and pulled him closer, lifting his head by his chin with the other hand.

"Don't hide anything; your face is saying it all." The photographer felt his cheeks heating up as Yuji stared only and only at his deep ocean eyes and caressing his cheek.

"I'm sorry...I just can't find...any motivation to work. That's the problem." Megumi blurted, defeated by the puppy look Yuji f=gave him. Indeed Yuji already knew his place in Megumi's life.

"Hmm...must be hard on you...but don't you worry! I have an idea!" Yuji offered to model for him in order to find what was causing his distress.

Megumi's mood lightened up the moment they started the shooting. He was having fun taking his pictures, as Yuji radiated happiness through his angelic smile plastered on his face. Yuji was really talented with helping people; he was just like a medicine. He wasn't the smartest but his ideas always had a solution underneath them. Or maybe Megumi was exaggerating it. Either way his impact was really big on Megumi and people around him. A trait to be jealous of; not something Megumi wanted on himself but wanted Yuji to be al cheery next to him. He found it quite ridiculous but he couldn't hide the thought from his actions.

"You seem pretty happy and motivated to me!" Yuji laughed, looking through the pictures with Megumi.

"It's because you are with me, dummy." Megumi scoffed and slightly pushed Yuji.

Realizing Yuji was the only thing he wanted to capture with his precious camera, he only worked with him to a degree he released several photobooks which only included Yuji's pictures. Their bonds growing tighter and closer, Megumi felt as though he was incomplete without the model in his life.

"I think this picture looks good! What do you think?" Yuji exclaimed, pointing at a picture where his lips are curved upwards more than usual, shining like a sun.

"No." Megumi frowned, moving the picture to another folder.

"Eh?! Why?" Yuji asked, confused.

"Because I don't want to share how you shine when you smile with others. This is mine." Megumi proudly said, forgetting about who was next to him.

"Err, I mean y-you don't look...good here...haha..." Megumi raised his voice as he realized what he had said but it was too late to erase the smug smirk plastered on the model's face.

"Well, I'm all yours." Yuji open his arms, as if proving his own point before embracing Megumi, refusing to let go but the photographer didn't protest, instead, he came closer and hugged him back.

They never confessed any feelings, just to keep whatever relationship they had, scared of being rejected or maybe they were already aware of what was going on.

Megumi and Yuji would visit each other frequently, meeting in either of their houses, Megumi bringing him lunch during his breaks, partying and going on dates without admitting it was a date; otherwise why would you buy flowers for a friend?

Megumi smiled at the memories flooding at the back of his head as he sighed, checking the time; Yuji was, again, late. Megumi tilted his head once he heard the door being unlocked. He sighed and stood up, approaching the door.

"It's been an hour and a half. Any excuses?" Megumi sternly said, trying to hide his smile as he waited for another adventure that happen while Yuji was on his way. He would always find a person to help and prioritize it more than his actual job. He would totally forget about it and if his manager got mad at him he would defend himself by saying 'They needed my help.'

"Well...not really, hehe sorry." Yuji awkwardly chuckled, scratching the back of his head with his right hand and hiding the left behind his body.

"What was it this time, then?" Megumi watched the boy push him inside and kick the door shut as he moved closer to him.

"It's your birthday, Megumi." Yuji smiled at the photographer who had forgotten about it. Yuji handed Megumi the blue roses and wrapped the blue yang necklace around Megumi's neck as Yuji was already wearing the yin on his own neck. He continued:

"Aside from giving you a gift and eating a cake, how about I take you on an actual date to make us official?" Yuji pulled frozen photographer closer to himself by the waist, locking lips. He held him firmly yet so gentle as if he was scared to break the latter. Megumi wrapped his hands around Yuji's neck and kissed him back, tears of joy staining his porcelain face. Megumi opened his mouth giving enough space for the model to get in. Yuji couldn't get enough of the soft cloudy lips biting his, leaving traces of pleasure. Time lost its meaning for them, they were unable to see anything but themselves. Nothing mattered if they could be together in this world. But, they had to break their affectionate kiss once they were both out of breath.

"Sure, why not?" Megumi laughed, accepting the offer as he hugged Yuji one more time.

posted this on ao3 but also wanted to share it here! enjoy :)

[letterboxd]

Savage Cinema.

From anarchists and adultery to milk baths and massacres, Matthew Turner shares five of the weirdest and wildest highlights of Hollywood’s pre-Code era, as #PreCodeApril comes to a close.

Pre-Code April was directly inspired by Noirvember, a month-long celebration of noir cinema instigated by Marya Gates (Oldfilmsflicker). I did Noirvember for the first time in November 2019, really enjoyed it, and thought it would be great to do the same thing for pre-Code movies. Although I’ve watched most of the classic 1930s films, I realised there were a huge number of pre-Code films I’d never seen (of my Letterboxd list of over 900 Pre-Code films, I have only seen 200).

As a sucker for a bit of wordplay, no matter how tenuous, I picked April partly because it’s six months away from Noirvember and partly because of the shared “pr” sound in April and Pre-Code. I’ve been absolutely delighted by the response—the #PreCodeApril hashtag on Twitter is a daily treasure trove of pre-Code-related joy, but I was genuinely thrilled to see the response on Letterboxd (here is my watchlist for the month). It’s been a real pleasure to see pre-Code movies constantly popping up in my ‘new from friends’ feed. My hope is that it’ll be even bigger next year—and that maybe TCM will want to get involved, the way they do with Noirvember.

Produced between 1929 and 1934, pre-Code cinema refers to films made in a brief period between the silent era, and Hollywood beginning to enforce the Motion Picture Production Code censorship guidelines (mandatory enforcement came in from July 1934). The “Code” in question was popularly known as the Hays Code, after then MPPDA president Will H. Hays. As the depression set in and box office declined, theater owners needed fare that would drive cinema-goers to the movies. It was a wild time to be a scriptwriter; they threw everything at the page, designers added even more, and actors played out the kinds of scenes, from the suggestive to the overt, that would otherwise be banned for decades to come.

The following five films demonstrate some of Hollywood’s craziest pre-Code excesses. They’re still jaw-dropping, even by today’s standards, and notably give female characters an agency that would be later denied as the Christian morals of the Code overruled writers’ kinks.

Madam Satan (1930) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Elsie Janis, Jeanie Macpherson and Gladys Unger

A critical and commercial flop in 1930, Cecil B. DeMille’s utterly insane musical comedy stars Kay Johnson as a straight-laced wife who plots to win back her unfaithful husband (Reginald Denny) by seducing him at a costume party, disguised as a mysterious devil woman. The location of this party? Oh, nothing too fancy, just on board a giant zeppelin. (“Madam Satan or: How the Film gets Fucking Crazy on the Blimp,” as Ryan reviewed it.)

Madam Satan is not by any stretch of the imagination a good movie (the editing alone is laughably bad), but as a piece of pre-Code craziness, it really has to be seen to be believed. Co-written by a trio of women and set in just three locations, it goes from racy bedroom farce to avant-garde musical to full-on disaster movie after a bolt of lightning hits the blimp.

The film is justly celebrated (in camp classic circles, at least) for the wildly over-the-top costumes paraded in the masquerade ball sequence, but there’s weird outfit joy everywhere you look. Keep an eye out for an enterprising extra who’s come dressed as a set of triplets.

Call Her Savage (1932) Directed by John Francis Dillon, written by Tiffany Thayer and Edwin J. Burke

Adapted from a salacious novel by Tiffany Thayer, Call Her Savage was former silent star Clara Bow’s second-to-last film before her retirement at the age of 28. She plays Texas gal Nasa Springer, who’s always had a “savage” temper she can’t explain. In the space of 88 minutes she goes from wild teenager to jilted newlywed to young mother to prostitute to wealthy society girl to alcoholic before finally (it’s implied) settling down with her Native-American friend after discovering that she’s half-Native-American, something the audience has known all along.

Bow’s performance is frankly astonishing, to the point where you simply can’t believe what you’re seeing from one moment to the next. Sample scenes see her savagely whipping both a snake and her Indian friend, smashing a guitar over a musician’s head and violently wrestling her Great Dane… and that’s all in the first five minutes. She’s also frequently in a state of near undress throughout—one funny scene has her maids chasing her with a dressing gown because they’re afraid she’ll run down the street in her négligée.

The rest of the film includes alcohol, adultery, strong violence, attempted rape, murder, syphilis (not named, but heavily implied) and baby death. It’s a veritable smorgasbord of outrageous content and Bow is pure dynamite throughout. The film is also noted for being one of the first on-screen portrayals of homosexuality, when Nasa visits a gay bar in the Village frequented by “wild poets and anarchists”.

Smarty (1934) Directed by Robert Florey, written by Carl Erickson and F. Hugh Herbert

This deeply problematic sex comedy features pre-Code stars Joan Blondell and Warren William (often nicknamed ‘The King of Pre-Code’) at their absolute filthiest. Blondell plays Vicki, a capricious, happily married wife who gets an obvious kick out of taunting her husband, Tony (William). When he cracks and slaps her at a party, she divorces him and marries her lawyer, Vernon (Edward Everett Horton), whom she also goads into slapping her in a deliberate ploy to win back Tony.

Essentially, Smarty hinges on Vicki liking rough sex and it’s completely blatant about it, ending with her sighing “Hit me again” (the film’s UK title!) as they sink into a clinch on a couch, a rapturous expression on her face. It’s a controversial film because on the surface it looks like it’s condoning domestic violence, but it’s very clearly about Vicki’s openly expressed sexual desires—she wants to be punished and dominated, she just has a rather dodgy way of getting what she wants.

It might be unsophisticated, but in some ways Smarty is remarkably ahead of its time and ripe for rediscovery. To that end, it would make a fascinating double bill with Stephen Shainberg’s Secretary (2002). Oh, and it’s also chock-full of lingerie scenes (like most pre-Code films), if you like that sort of thing.

Massacre (1934) Directed by Alan Crosland, written by Sheridan Gibney, Ralph Block and Robert Gessner

Several pre-Code films (notably those made by Warner Bros) took a no-punches-pulled approach to their depiction of social issues, and star Richard Barthelmess actively sought out such projects. Here he plays Joe Thunderhorse, a Native American who’s become famous on the rodeo circuit. When he returns to his tribe to bury his father, he ends up fighting for their rights, taking on corrupt government officials and religious authorities.

Massacre is fascinating because on the one hand it’s wildly insensitive—Barthelmess and co-star Ann Dvorak are both cast as Native Americans—but on the other, it burns with a righteous fury and does more than any other Hollywood film (before or since) to champion the rights and highlight the injustices dealt out to Native Americans. That fury is encapsulated in a horrifying and rightly upsetting rape scene (it happens off-screen, but the cuts leave you in no doubt) that the film handles with surprising sensitivity.

In addition to being a passionate fight against racism and social injustice, the film also has some genuinely shocking sexual content. Most notably, Joe is seen making love to a rich white woman (Claire Dodd, who’s also in Smarty) who has an obvious sexual fetish, flaunting him in front of her friends and making a shrine in her room with Native-American paraphernalia.

The Sign of the Cross (1932) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Waldemar Young and Sidney Buchman

Yes, this is Cecil B. DeMille again, but no list of weird and wild pre-Code films would be complete without the jaw-dropping ancient Rome epic, The Sign of the Cross. Adapted from an 1895 play by Wilson Barrett, it stars Frederic March as Marcus Superbus (stop sniggering at the back there), who’s torn between his loyalty to Emperor Nero (Charles Laughton) and his love for a Christian woman (Elissa Landi), while also fending off the advances of the Emperor’s wife, Poppaea (Claudette Colbert).

The film is racy enough in its sexual content alone: highlights include the famous scene of Claudette Colbert taking a nude milk bath and an erotic “lesbian” dance sequence, where Joyzelle Joyner’s “most wicked and talented woman in Rome” does ‘The Dance of the Naked Moon’ at Frederic March’s orgy, trying to tempt Landi’s virtuous Christian, to the obvious arousal of the gathered guests.

However, it’s the climactic gladiatorial-arena sequence that will leave your jaw on the floor. Lasting around twelve minutes, it includes: someone getting eaten by a tiger, a tied-up, naked women being approached by hungry crocodiles, pygmies getting chopped up by female barbarians, elephants stomping on heads, a gorilla approaching a naked woman tied to a stake, a man getting gored by a bull, and gladiators fighting to the death, complete with blood and gory injury detail.

The whole thing is genuinely horrifying, even for 2021. Best of all, DeMille pointedly critiques the audience (ourselves included), by showing a series of reaction shots ranging from intense enjoyment to abject seen-it-all-before boredom.

Matthew Turner (FilmFan1971) is a critic, author, podcaster and lifelong film fanatic. His favorite film is ‘Vertigo’. The films in this article are also listed here: Five of the Pre-Code Era’s Most Outrageous Films.