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kindasleepywriter · 2 years ago

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Bird of Prey - Chapter 6: Tempest

Bird of Prey masterlist. Azriel x Reader.

Chapter summary: Feyre dives into unwanted memories, and Azriel deals with the consequences you have to endure.

Story rating: Mature - Minors DNI

Warnings: Torture, blood, burns, use of the word "half-breed", trauma response. This is a heavy chapter- but balanced with fluff, so much fluff<3

Word count: 5.6k

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The few days spent alone with Lucien had done you a lot of good. Cassian and Nesta weren’t around often, and it was refreshing to finally let your guard down, being able to exhale after centuries of holding your breath. The two of you were barely able to scratch the surface of all that you’d lived in the last two hundred and something years.

He was completely in love with his mate, and you were profoundly grateful that the mother had granted him a reprieve and a circle of people he trusted. Elain seemed like a sweet girl- a good soul that had managed to keep her softness through unending trauma. You’d never tell Lucien that you still didn’t trust her, of course, but you knew he was aware of your ‘hesitancy to accept people’, as he’d called it once. Over dinners and late-night chats, he’d gone quickly over the rocky beginnings of their relationship- and Azriel’s part in that turbulence- but he reassured you that there was no bad blood, and Azriel had even been to one to finally convince Elain to take a chance on Lucien. You didn’t know how you felt about that information, so you willfully ignored it.

His friends, his band of exiles, as he called them, also seemed like interesting people- especially the firebird. He was excited about the prospect of introducing you to them and, even though you were reticent to meet strangers, there was little you wouldn’t do for him. You could try, at the very least.

Then, there was the elephant in the room. Amarantha. You already knew the gist of what had happened during those fifty years, but he recounted how he had experienced it in Spring, his friends sent to slaughter in the human lands in hopes of ending her reign. He knew you understood what being trapped felt like. You’d offered him the best support you could muster, pushing past your discomfort at the subject.

“Where were you during that time, anyways? How did you hide from that nightmare for five decades?”, Lucien asked, sitting in an armchair to the side of yours where both of you were taking comfort in the crackle of a low fire in the sitting room. “I heard you disappeared during that time. No one heard about any contracts you might’ve taken.”

“Well, I didn’t have the chance to be in Velaris when the curse rose from under the mountain”, you muttered sarcastically, “but I already had so few ties to people. It wasn’t hard to keep track of them and… well. You’re aware of what I do when a messenger decides to let slip important details. They know the consequences signing on.”

Lucien winced. “Did it happen often.?”

“Only once, at the end of the first year. A shopkeeper who thought he might be able to gain Amarantha’s favor by selling me out. I decided not to take any chances after that and I took shelter as far as I could, even hiding in the human lands for a while. Any contracts I could’ve gotten during that time would’ve probably been on her orders, directly or not. I didn’t want to participate in her destruction. I did visit you in spring once or twice over the decades, though. I think I rather prefer you without the mask.”

“You’re not the only one, but I also think not ripping the collars of my shirts while dressing is really the best thing about losing it.”, he chuckled. “I’m glad to hear you weren’t hurt during her reign. She really had an obsession over you, but you never even heard about that, did you?”

You shook your head, confused. You knew she’d have interest in someone with your skillset, but you weren’t exactly well known. You wouldn’t be very good at your job if you left witnesses.

“What did I ever do to piss her off? I’ve never even been close to her for contracts, it’s not like she could’ve had a grudge against me.”

“She didn’t need to know you to resent you- You know your old reputation, Feather, but you’ve got to understand that it’s not just a rumor circulating through the undercities anymore,” he said, “People were clinging on to every hope they could during those decades. The idea of someone who had the power to take down rulers… It caught on like a brushfire.”

“But I wasn’t even there.”

“That’s a detail the common folk didn’t care about.”

“And yet, its still the most crucial one.”, you sighed. “By the mother, they might’ve thought I’d be their savior, but I didn’t talk to a single soul for half a century.”

“Now, that’s one long dry spell, I’ll say that your uptight attitude with the others is so much more unders- ow!”, he yelped as you smacked him in the arm with the book that sat on the table between you.

“If you think me not getting any for a couple years is enough for me to not check your audacity, Kit, I-“

“Now that I think about it, maybe that explains the tension between you and a certain spymaster, I’m sure after so long out there you just can’t- stop it!” Another smack, as he held you at arm’s length to protect himself from any further literary assaults, but he continued undeterred.

“I mean, with the way you’re watching him, I feel like you’re really earning your title of Bir-“

You clapped a hand over his mouth, hissing. “Not here!”You had no idea who could be listening in. Using your ‘professional’ name wasn’t the best idea.

He wrenched your arm away from him, laughing. “They’re not going to hurt you. They’re not who you think they are, Feathers. The act they put up before was mostly just that, an act. I know you heard the rumors, that you-”

Your mind flipped like a switch from amusement to anger, and you shoved him away. Lucien’s face immediately went white at your change in demeanor.

“Heard the rumors, Lucien? I didn’t just hear them, I saw them! I’ll be damned before any of these damn faes fool me into believing their bullshit. The camps, they’re a nightmare.”

You were seething. He knew of your history, and to disregard their actions as mere court gossip felt like a betrayal.

“You don’t know what it’s like to see a little girl’s wings pinned to the town square because she went just a little too far in the forest”, you spat, “women carrying so many bruises that their skin was more purple than skin colored, flinching whenever a door opened!”

A soft voice put an end to your tirade. “I’m sorry you’ve been witness to such a horrible event. These clippings… They’re harrowing.”, the High Lady said, standing in the doorway of the room with her arms loosely folded as she stared at you, pain flashing in her eyes. You hadn’t noticed her, in your anger. Immediately, you stiffened and tried to calm your breathing, but struggled when you heard Lucien let out a breath of relief behind you. You fought every urge to turn around and swing at him. He’d get his verbal beating later. You forced your voice back into neutrality, years of practice aiding you.

“I assume that you disapprove of the practice, then.”, you said, venom still subtly lacing your words despite your efforts.

“Of course, I do.”, she sighed. “We’ve been doing what we can to stop them, I swear that to you, but it’s easier to try and lift a mountain than to convince the Lords watching over the camps.”

You narrowed your eyes, not offering a word. If convincing them was the problem, you thought, then perhaps a change in leadership was needed. Either for those Lords… or higher in the ranks. Still, you felt a certain amount of honesty in her words. Maybe she had a distaste for the practice, but it didn’t mean her entourage did.

She exhaled, noticing your closed off body language. She walked slowly into the room, sparing a glance at Lucien, standing still for a moment before turning back to you. “I was told you asked for me specifically, to hear what you’re willing to share.”

Ah, right. The planned dive into the most intimate part of yourself: your memories. You’d almost forgotten about it, in the comfort of Lucien’s presence. Almost.

Lucien shuffled around you awkwardly, nodding to Feyre as he left the room with haste. If your jaw could clench any harder, you were pretty sure your teeth would have started cracking by now.

“You seemed like the better alternative.”, you said.

“Yes, I know Rhys can be a little much when you meet him for the first time. Trust me, I didn’t like him at first either.”

Mentally, you rolled her eyes. What words were hers, which ones were his, and were any of them truthful? You couldn’t know.

Feyre looked disappointed at your lack of response. If she thought a few niceties would change your mind about her mate, she was wrong.

“Well, we can get started, if you’d like. This will only take a minute.”

You nodded.

She gestured to the velvet couch that sat parallel to the armchairs you and Lucien had occupied, and you sat, keeping a certain distance from her. You felt the fire’s warmth at your side. A cold shiver ran through you despite it.

“What do I need to do, exactly? Do I need to close my eyes, or…”

The truth was that you had no idea how daemati powers worked. You’d had a certain amount of training in the Dawn court against it, but it was always from a position of defense. The instinct to bar anyone from your mind had been drilled into you as a young fae, and the idea of letting someone in was making every nerve in your body recoil. You didn’t want people to see even the most minute emotional reaction, and Feyre would be privy to your entire history and thoughts.

“If you feel like you need to, you may, but it’s not necessary. Just lower your shields and I’ll make sure to keep it as brief as possible. You can go afterwards, but invite you to stay, should you choose too. You’re Lucien’s friend, he’s told us good things about you…”, she said.

You braced yourself for the intrusion, keeping quiet and watching her carefully as you dismantled your barriers, brick by brick. She seemed to abandon the idea of convincing you. You felt the soft scratch of sharp talons against them, figuratively knocking at your door. The feeling was too familiar to Rhysand’s powers, and you couldn’t help but shudder at the thought. You finally made an opening in your stone walls.

Her incorporeal presence started to sort through your mind. You appreciated that she let you see her exploring and that she focused on the relevant parts of your memories. You knew that was a conscious choice on her part and you felt the slightest appreciation for how respectful she was in the situation. You felt a warmth from her as the thought crossed your mind, immediately turning your gratefulness into wariness again.

She started at the most recent events, thankfully skipping your time since you’d arrived in Velaris, and travelled backwards in time. She saw the confrontation with Azriel in the woods, the hunt for the Illyrian spy across Prythian, back to the initial arrangement that had taken place.

You almost felt her shock as she witnessed your messenger transmitting the details of the contract, lingering on it just a moment too long for it to go unnoticed. The story of the young woman and what she suffered, her forced marriage, her destroyed wings. You felt Feyre’s fury run through you as she processed the information. Her emotional state agitated her, so much that some of her memories slipped through.

You could see her discussing with her circle in a large room, a table covered in what seemed to be reports and maps, debating on ways to protect the women in the camps. You saw fragments of her and Rhysand, locked in an embrace in the morning light, whispering about the horror they’d seen, his hold on her tightening as tears ran down her cheeks. You felt like an intruder, these were private conversations, intimate moments, but you couldn’t help but be shocked at the idea that the court really did want to change the camps. Was she the only one pushing for this, or did they listen to her pleas for change? She did hate those clippings, that you were sure of. You let out an exhale of relief, ready to rebuild your barriers.

What you didn’t expect, however, was for her to keep going. You began to struggle as you tried to stack brick after brick, shoving her out, but she was too strong. She wasn’t finished, and you were powerless to stop it, but panic ran through you. You couldn’t tell where her emotions started and when yours ended, if the thoughts running through you were hers, yours, or somebody else’s.

You tried to throw every thought possible at her, stop her descent into your past, but she was too far gone in the trauma of your past. She was getting too close, too deep, and you were shaking through it all.

“Stop.”, you gritted out aloud. “You know I wasn’t here to cause problems, stop going through my fucking past, let me go!”

It was as if she didn’t hear you, but she let out a gasp of shock when she completely bypassed your time in Autumn, flying instead to the one moment you had never shared with anyone like a moth to a flame. Ice ran through your veins. Anything but this, any other memory, you pleaded, but you were met with only growing alarm and dread. You were both engulfed by the weight of your pain.

“Dad, please, I didn’t think, I’m sorry!”

You were sobbing, a large weight on your chest as two hands gripped the bone that ran along the top of each of your wings so harshly that you could feel the fingernails drawing blood and ripping out soft dawn feathers. Your full feathers weren’t even completely mature yet, you weren’t even fully grown yet.

“Damn right you didn’t think, you ungrateful little shit. I was clear that you would not come back here.”, the man spit out. “You’re not my daughter, never was. I don’t care that your mother died pretending to have the right to fight. I’m not responsible for a disgusting fucking chicken like you!”

You squinted through the pain at him, his knees digging into your thorax as he held you down. You couldn’t breathe. His stocky frame blocked out the light that filtered through the shut windows, his wings fully extended as you struggled against his hold. His leathery black wings.

“I’ll go right now”, you pleaded, “I’ll never be seen in the night court again, I swear, please, just let me go!”

His hand gripped tighter, a loud cry echoing through your lungs.

“And have Arevos think me weak, letting a few tears from a half-breed like you sway me? Never, not in a million years. You’ll learn the consequences of your actions. You’ll see what happens to lowly women like you who would rather destroy a man’s reputation than know your place.”

He swung a fist at you, dizzying you as you choked on the blood now flowing down your throat. He moved behind you, stepping on you in the process, and started dragging you out the door, grabbing only your wings. You screamed in pain, sobbing uncontrollably as red-hot pain shot through your muscles and back, feathers ripping out and leaving bloody trails as your father stepped through the camp furiously. You clawed at the floor, trying to grip at anything to yank yourself out of his grip, only catching dirt and stones and your fingernails ripping.

He hauled you out to the forest, closely followed by Arevos and a few other legionnaires. They watched, laughing, as Aravos’ son handed your father a blade. Kallon. The only person in this forsaken camp who’d ever spoken to you like a person, now laughing at your torture as if you were only entertainment. The dagger radiated warmth, its metal red from where it had been laying in a nearby campfire. Your crying impossibly grew louder, your pleas ignored as you tried to call for Kallon’s help, tried to bargain, to negotiate, but they didn’t care. They all watched on with vicious smirks as the legionnaires freed your father’s hands and held your wings down for him.

You’d never felt pain like this before. Broken bones, sprained muscles, you were familiar with. This? It didn’t even begin to compare. You felt like it went on for hours, pain drowning out the laughter of the sadists that surrounded you. You wailed and screamed until your throat wouldn’t let anymore more than pained croaks come out, vocal cords giving up on you as your spirit was crushed by the reality of what was happening. Your wings were who you are, and you knew this might be the last time you’d ever see them.

You prayed to the mother to let you dive into unconsciousness, to grant you the peacefulness of death, but your prayers were useless, and you could picture the goddess spitting at your feet in disgust. You were delirious, still feeling every touch and burn of that dagger as it sliced through your flesh as if you were a slaughtered animal, only worth anything torn apart and freed of your vile skin.

An unspeakable amount of time late, bored of the spectacle that was your murder. They let go of your body and left it on the forest floor, every shred of your body and soul bleeding profusely, meeting with dirt and moss. Fertilizer was all you would ever be, all that you were worthy of. Your breath was barely more than a whisper, a crackle of fire inside your chest. When the dark embraced you, your life draining into the ground along with your silent tears, you only felt gratefulness that your torment was over.

Someone was saying your name. It resonated around you despite you barely hearing it, like an echo in a dark cave. You felt the hard floor beneath you, no longer embedded into your grave as distant shouts reached your ears. You were crying, rolled into a fetal position. You were screaming, the crackle of fire and pain ever present within you.

“What the HELL did you do to her, Feyre?”, you heard a deep voice yell.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t stop falling into her memories, it was like I’d fallen through a crack in her mind! I can’t stop seeing it, the torture, the pain…”, a panicked feminine voice replied.

You were still howling like a wounded animal, your eyes closed tightly. A torrent of wind was whipping your face, sharp pain still coursing through your veins, a ghost underneath your skin. You could make out hands slowly lifting you from the ground, startling you into resisting in the darkness, your screaming turning to sobs and pleas of mercy, but cold mist surrounded you, an unknown familiarity only barely making a dent in calming you. You were shaking uncontrollably from your sobs, the pain fainter than it had been moments ago.

“Shh, it’s okay Dove”, a voice whispered to you, even though it still seemed so distant from you, muted in the roaring consuming your mind. “You’re safe, they can’t get you here. You can breathe.”

You couldn’t stop your sobs. It was if every emotion you’d ever felt, ever suppressed were rushing out of you all at once. You were drowning beneath the waves. Firm hands traced circles on your back, and a softer wind laid on your skin like a blanket. Your hands gripped the thin fabric that you felt brush against your fingers. The warm voice kept murmuring, soothing you.

You could only lay there helpless against the never-ending agony as you cried.

When you came to again, it was to the sound of voices again. A soft touch was running over your back.

“She destroyed the sitting room; we can’t let her stay here.”

“Maybe if Feyre hadn’t gone looking in places she shouldn’t have, it could’ve been prevented.” You felt deep vibrations against your cheek.

“Watch it, you’re clearly too invested in her to-”

“Rhys, let him be.” A feminine voice, this time. “What matters here is how she even managed to summon that storm. We didn’t even feel any power from her and then this happens… I showed Mor, and she said it was exactly like the one I’d made before she saved me from Tamlin’s manor. We can’t just-”

You couldn’t help a whimper from leaving you from the tension the room, your hands flat against the same fabric as before. You felt exhaustion down to every single bone in your body. The surface against which you laid shifted, the warm circles stopping for just a moment.

“Az… We’ll come back later, but we need to meet whenever possible. We haven’t told Lucien yet, he’s with Elain at their cottage, but I won’t be able to hold keep in the dark for long, and we all know he’ll freak out.”

“Just let me handle it for now, Rhys.”

You felt the sun harshly against your eyelids and back as you gained more awareness and tried to blink the sleep out of your eyes to grasp your surroundings. You stretched out your legs a little, the hand on your back tightening and keeping you from going too far. Your eyes got used to the light, and you became aware of the body underneath your hands. You squinted and looked up at Azriel, sighing. He was watching you like a hawk, worry written all over his face.

Wait. Azriel?

You yelped and jumped out of his hold, almost toppling over the side of the bed from the force of your wings snapping shut, Azriel’s hands stopping you from falling face first of the ground by gripping your waist and lifting you up into a sitting position in front of him.

Your eyes widened as you scampered to the foot of the bed away from him, your brain still in a fog of exhaustion that confused your senses and your heart beating like a hummingbird’s. How did you end up here?

“What- What happened?”, you said, agitated and too tired to wrangle your demeanor into calculated cold.

“Feyre didn’t have the decency to keep her curiosity under control when she paid a little visit to your memories, that’s what happened.”, he grumbled, still watching you as if he feared you’d run for the door at any moment.

His fear wasn’t unfounded. You were considering the option, still freaking out a little over the proximity you two had shared.

You looked around yourself, finally realizing that the two of you were in the bedroom you’d been staying in, a book still open face down on the other side of the bed just like you’d left it to talk to Lucien. You could faintly remember talking to Feyre, the relief you’d felt… And then the terror. It all came rushing back and you curled against yourself. Shadows wrapped around your ankles and legs softly, cooling your now overheated skin.

“She saw… she saw everything, didn’t she?”, you said, your voice cracking. Your eyes filled with tears again.

“She only saw the worst of it. She didn’t elaborate much, but I think we all understood what she’d seen.” His hands were clenched into fists, knuckles white, and he immediately relaxed them when he caught you looking. You studied his hands, the scarred skin. It looked just like the scars you carried from the torture your father had put you through.

“If it means anything”, he continued, “I truly am sorry that happened to you. It’s something you should never have gone through. To know that Arevos had a part to play in it too… We’ll deal with him.”

You looked up from his hands, a question dawning on you. “Did you… Did you see my wings?”

He shook his head. “Only the backside of them, they relaxed when you fell asleep. I was careful not to let you on your back, I didn’t want you to injure them.”

You let out a shaky breath of relief, whispering your thanks. He could’ve easily used the opportunity to examine the mess of scars that laid there, along with the only clear sign of your Illyrian heritage. Hints of it were everywhere, from the softer tip of your ear, your more angular wings, and the above-average length of their terminal bones, but you could pass as full-blooded Peregryn. You still had the typical hollow bones, the eye color and skin tone of their people.

What stood out, however, was only visible when you fully extended your wings. The soft dawn that protected the base of your flight feathers wasn’t the pure, untainted white or vibrant gold of your comrades. Instead, the light feathers emerged from midnight-black tufts that lined the skin. Only in flight could it been truly seen, but it was enough to mark you as the one thing the population of the Dawn court hated most: A half-breed, specifically one whose father was a disgusting Illyrian.

Azriel could’ve easily just lifted your wing and looked, and you would’ve never known. Yet, he didn’t. Your heart warmed a little from its current apathy.

“Am I cleared, then? Free to go?”

His face dropped from aggravation to something akin to... nervousness? “We know you can be trusted if that’s what you’re wondering. Feyre left you the choice of leaving, so you weren’t forced to exit the court after what happened. There’s something else you need to know before you go though, and it’s got the others worried.”

You frowned. You were less eager to depart from Velaris than you thought you’d be, but your freedom was your priority. You didn’t want another reason for them not to let you go.

“When you were reliving the memory, something peculiar happened. I don’t think Feyre was expecting it, given the look on her face when I flew in. You may have… whipped up a storm in the sitting room. More precisely, you summoned one.”

“That’s impossible. I don’t have powers.”, you stated, confused. Was this his idea of a prank? If so, it was needlessly cruel.

He hesitated, clearly considering his next words carefully. “We thought that too, but you really did create it. It was your energy, even if it didn’t feel as clear as it should. You used it like a shield surrounding you. Feyre couldn’t even get close to you.”

Shock coursed through you. You’d never shown any signs of power, much to the dismay of your parents. You’d always been the disappointment. The result of the union of one of the greatest Illyrian warriors and a commander of the Dawn court was expected to be of great power, even if considered as lesser than. It became clear quickly as you grew that you weren’t, and unable to use what little you had of it. You could fight, sure, but power? Not a chance.

“I spent the first 18 years of my life being tested relentlessly in every manner known to man.”, you said. “How is this even possible?”

“We’re not exactly sure, but the theory so far is that Feyre may have unlocked your capabilities when she went digging through your mind. Quite violently too, given the state of the room.”, he nervously laughed. “It wasn’t the first time this happened, either.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that the other day, you left a burn so deep in the doorknob of the study that I’m surprised it didn’t catch fire.”

The study? Oh. That study. Your face flushed. Knowing what you did now, you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by your reaction.

“I’m sorry.”, you whispered.

Azriel almost growled as he got closer to you, reaching out a hand to lay on your crossed knees. “You have nothing to apologize for. I should’ve known better. God I…” He paused, rubbing a hand over his face. “I can’t begin to imagine how it felt, you had every right to end it there. I’m just grateful it was the door, not me.”

You looked up at him. His hand still covered his face, and he was stiff as a board.

You considered silently your next move. You were still exhausted, and you definitely weren’t thinking right, but you were just so tired of always pretending. Always keeping up a cold front, always distancing yourself from any who dared approach you. Since you’d met him, you’d been nothing but cruel to him. All of this for your false impression of the rulers of the Night court, and a single insult from centuries ago. Your heart was screaming at you to say something, do anything other than shut yourself off. For once, you listened.

“Look, Azriel, I… I’m not sure how I feel right now, I’m lost, and I can’t make sense of anything.” You gently laid a hand over the one that covered your knee. “What I do know is that we clearly started off with misconceptions about each other.”

His eyes snapped to yours, lowering his hand. “I think we agree on that.”, he chuckled dryly, the hold on your knee tightening slightly before letting go. His shadows retreated from you abruptly, as if forced to. He abruptly stood up and started pacing with his back turned to you. His fists were clenched again. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable here. I feel like I’ve imposed enough.”, he said. “I’m the one who dragged you here, threatening you with torture or mind-breaking, and it was so wrong to force myself on you then and now keeping you here with me, you’ve got enough going on as is, and I should ask Lucien to come up here to stay with you, he’s the one who you feel comfortable with-”

His breath stuttered as you threaded your arms around his ribcage after you’d silently tip-toed over to his position. You were careful not to touch his wings and you laid your cheek against his back. You felt him shudder as his arms captured yours at his front, his head dropping. The heat of him didn’t help your drowsy state but his shadows reached out tentatively and encircled you again when a sigh of contentment escaped you.

You couldn’t say why you trusted this man. You didn’t have many memories together, especially positive ones, but something in him drawn you to him like a siren would a ship. You knew there was more to him than he let others see, and your own shattered self resonated with his.

“I don’t agree, Az.”, you whispered softly. He hummed in dissent, but you just gripped him tighter. “If I’d wanted you out of here you would’ve known. I quite remember my knee doing some damage last time you hurt me.”

He laughed, startled, the vibrations coursing up your arms.

“I don’t need to start wearing special armor around you, then?”, he said.

“Not yet, no.”

A moment of silence, the two of you wrapped around each other, unmoving in the sunlit room.

“I meant it when I thanked you.”, you finally said. “For staying with me last night, for getting me out of there in the first place. For letting me fall apart.”

“I couldn’t leave you there.”, he breathed. “I felt the bargain disappear and then I heard your screams from miles away. I thought- I don’t know what I thought. I raced here as felt as I could.”

You bowed your head, even though you knew he couldn’t see you. You were starting to feel faint. Using your newfound powers apparently took a lot more energy than you’d assumed. You really needed to sleep.

Your grip on his ribs loosened as you tried to take a step backwards. Your legs failed beneath you, but Azriel, always as fast as a falcon, stopped your fall and held you up against his chest. You gazed up as his hazel eyes, lingering on his perfect skin and his soft lips for a second. A few curled strands were separated from the rest, and you softly passed your fingers through his hair, unsuccessful in your attempt to tame them. His stare was warm, and he gave you a small smile, not commenting on your unashamed appreciation of his features. You could’ve kept watching him for hours.

“I think I might need to rest a few minutes before we talk more.”

“You’ll be lucky if you’re awake within that day.”, Azriel sighed. He lifted you softly onto the bed, as if to lay you down and leave. You didn’t let him go.

“Stay. Please.”, you croaked, looking up at him. His hair was still all over the place, his frame highlighted by the sweater he wore. He looked beautiful, exhausted as he may be. The sun created a halo of light around him. An angel, you thought.

He sat down on the bed, keeping you close as you grabbed his shoulders to pull yourself up to lay against his chest, your face buried in his neck, breathing in the smell of cedar and mist that always surrounded him. He chuckled at your tight grip.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Dove. Take the time you need.”

You fell asleep to the sound of his breath and to the rhythm of his heart, drumming slowly alongside yours.

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Taglist: @sapphenaa

#azriel x reader #azriel #acotar #acotar x reader #acotar fanfic #azriel fanfic #azriel POV #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #enemies to lovers #bird of prey

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maliciousalice · 1 year ago

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@thresholdbb omg tumblr ate your ask but thankyou for asking!!!!

👕Character whose fashion you like.

Phoar! Startrek really isn't a show I associate with being fashionable. It's very camp isn't it? In theory a lot of the wardrobe is really cool and they wanted to gain that retro-future aesthetic. Did it work? I'm not sure. However it does make a statement. The Startrek aesthetic is really recognizable and that's important! I think that's where modern trek kind of looses the plot. It's not as careful about the unique visual design as a whole anymore and as a result it doesn't settle in our minds. Is it bad artistry? No but it's not as stringent. What I mean by that is older trek cared about nuance. For example every haircut was done the same way on men, or suits were tailored in a way to look sleek but practical (they weren't). Gaudy patterns were important to denote things like status. It looks ugly on the outside but when you're watching the show it envelops you and makes you feel welcomed into the universe.

I digress.

To answer this, the most fashionable character, hands down, is Quark! That mfer always looks good, and has the finest drip in the galaxy. Love that.

🥲 ST moment that makes you cry.

youtube

There are two moments that make me particularly sad. Kate's acting in the climax of Resistance is incredible. I read somewhere she had a special-wink-wink- relationship with the Director in the early seasons and she was being tested by this episode in some regard. I think it paid off. I treasure any time her captain-hood is removed, and the extreme vulnerability of Janeway is on display-MWAH MWAH poignant. This episode is beautifully intimate, particularly this scene. It's overall gorgeous and unique in how she whispers to him, as if there is nothing more important than to secure his peace of mind as he dies, and it's heart rending when it ends with her just crouching there, emotionally alone. I love how Janeway is forced into the father-daughter dynamic between her and Caylem, one that she would ordinarily resist (heh themes) because I think it inherently weakens her status. The back and forth throughout the episode of them taking care of each other's welfare is so it's terribly sad when it's torn down and we discover the truth behind Caylem's family. If you've dug around her character you know that her Admiral-Father has had impact on her life. She's haunted by him in both a figurative way by being a Captain, and literal sense later on in Coda. Much like Caylem, she looses her father in a violent manner that she has to carry around while she forges ahead. It also reflects well on Kate's relationship with her actual father, she recently revealed that she was never able to get him on her page, but in spite that she adore him with all her might. So a scene like this is really revealing-I believe she was able to draw upon those feelings and that's kinda neat to be so raw as an actor. SIGH.

This one just straight up made me cry fr because Prodigy s1 is a really mature, well done piece of (Startrek) media. Holo Janeway has an irony about it where in the end she is program designed to be a teacher, and she didn't expect to develop a strong bond with the crew. Her final moments are of displaying a huge amount of selflessness and courage to help the kids get out of trouble, similarly to how Janeway would approach dire circumstances. The music swelling and the ship activating is just OOOOF!!! I love how it parallels Dal's initiation of the first Protojump in a Moral Star. By that means It suggests how proud she is to get to do this for them. As a character she is really interesting to think about, in a way I can't entirely articulate. A lot of her moments are quite sad in general, she has to keep an active role so she isn't ignored, and help where help is needed, but at the same time she has constraints, one being that she manipulated by the antagonists. And In contrast to that, the kids do their best to help her feel like she is important and more than a command program to be used insincerely. She grew to love the Protostar crew, that's evident in her body language in this scene. She has a lot of depth overall. Equal to the real Janeway she deeply feels love, guilt and pain, but importantly she is transformed by the her time on the Protostar and while active, learns and grows with Dal, Rok-tak, Zero, Jankom and Gwyn. It's REALLY sweet that they care all care about each other.

I love her and I love JANEWAY!!!!

🥹 Favourite behind the scenes picture.

Ooooh I love all behind the scenes stuff. My brother in Christ It's super difficult to just name one thing and I'm very greedy!! I wish we had more BTS content for Voyager but sadly, it's a matter of grab what you can, however you can. Anyway, I have an inherent interest in seeing the cogs behind the wheel. I chose these samples because I think they're charming.

The continuity polaroid's are so fun and a lost technique, I like to think about assistants having to pull the actors aside and asking them to take those. How daunting! Kate's grin in the one where she is offset is SO cute. So she must have been in a good mood, super Cheeky!

Following that is a screenshot from a video of her having her makeup done. A rare catch. I like this because she often sooks about how much time hair and makeup was spent on her to become Captain Janeway. I get it's a huge time-sink, but love or hate it, the full irony is that her early season appearance is really iconic and in it's own right adds to Captain Janeway's sensibility. Silly goose Kate! Besides that, she looks hot checking herself out, haha.

Moreover, I love on-set editorial photos of actors in costume. While we did have heaps of them in the Starfleet uniform, I wish we had a larger collection with clearer releases, it would have given an opportunity to see in things of interest better detail. Particularly the lower half of unique costumes. For whatever reason special outfits weren't often established or framed for us to see the legs in the show, so a nice big photograph would have solved that. Also I love that these style of pictures capture an impression of an episode without giving it away.

Similarly, fly on the wall on-set photos are cool. They're way more intimate and candid than anything else and it makes me feel as though I am spying on the actors, but they're also a good way to document how things might have been on set.

The Timeless one is interesting too because it's of a deleted scene, we never see Chakotay look at a dead Janeway (how deliciously macabre!), but at some point in time it was in the script and they filmed it.

Hmm this bts picture of Janeway in the Cardigan is adorable! I believe it was worn by Kate for a Charity but look how cute she looks? Makes me wish we saw her mess around with things like that more because 7 Years is a long ass time to be in uniform everyday ( coming from someone who went to school in a Uniform and enjoyed it for the most part). Casual Fridays anyone?

I love this gif. It's from the first shoots of Caretaker and Kate looks so radiant! Her smile is is breathtaking! Whenever I see this gif I get a sense of delight. Poor thing had no idea what she was getting herself into, haha. Really though, check out the original Caretaker photos, they're super-cool. The history behind it is fascinating; I'd love to see more footage from that version of the pilot episode. Unfortunately, it's probably not preserved well, much like lots of Paramount's historical material.

On a similar trend, it's fun to see this set of pictures too. It's for the First Contact film / maybe the Universal studios ride, when she reprised her role as Vice AdmiralJaneway. Kate was genuinely delighted to do this cameo and it shows. As per her operandum she put her whole self into this small segment and that's so darling. It makes me wish we had more of this Janeway at that point in time. I love post Endgame chubby-Janeway. In a fictional sense it denotes that she is comfortable or stressed to be an Admiral (sadly it's the latter in real life) or whatever and I love that for her.

These kind of pictures are fun because it's been said that at times it was the most playful set to be on. There are tales that the cast were not that serious all the time. You get that impression here, and it's probably why the majority of them are still good friends to this day. They're like a family bros!!! Having worked in media I know that wrapping up after working on something for a long time is really rewarding and I bet they had a good time at parties.

Apropos previous, the opposite can be said. While they had fun, the hours were long and the scripts intensive. Kate was around for all of the episodes of Voyager in one way or another, and still managed to bring her A-game each time. She is truly admirable! Seeing her so exhausted is charming. She had a lot of weight to carry for the franchise and did an exemplary job performing her way through 7 years of weird and wonderful material. I wonder how often they fell asleep on set? I know I would. Get some rest queen!

Finally, I've been following Prodigy bts as best I can, and because of my career in animation I get pretty interested in Production art. I love seeing the fast metamorphosis of a visual style. It's really impressive how much attention they applied to the designs, maintaining the older stuff, while adapting a new frontier. One of the lead artists made some pretty neat observations to get Kate's appearance right. It's so cool that they documented that journey, because from my dabbling I know she has a very beautiful, distinct face that isn't easy to capture.

ANYWAY Thankyou for reading my fat thesis fellas. tl;dr i love this stinky Startrek Voyager and by extension the franchise.

#I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS WALL OF TEXT I HAVE A LOT TO SAY AND I THINK ABOUT THIS DARN SHOW A LOT #also my bad it's mostly voyager but it's my true love #hope you can make sense of this I'm fairly illiterate and writing is so hard for me lol that's why i write more than is probably necessary #i like the other trek shows but this one is something special if you know what i mean #appreciate you if you read all this MWAH MWAH #thankyou for the ask thresholdbb ily!!!#Thresholdbb #Kathryn Janeway #janeway #star trek voyager #star trek prodigy #st:voy #kate mulgrew #no sources for this you just gotta trust im a big fat expert :^)#i really need an editor my dyslexic-a jumbles up and forgets words when i write its so embarassing #i have a pretty large collection of pictures now but i could always use more #i also should probably save videos where i can because they get buried / removed from the internet

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tiredtogepi · 1 year ago

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A Lady & Her Hounds

Chapter 1

The Hound x Fem!Reader (Jon Arryn's daughter; Sabrina)

This chapter contains: Fluff | Brat

Word count: 1146

*this is my first GOT fan fiction. There are many chapters with mostly fluff, some angst, and mature content ;) I hope that someone will read it and enjoy it*

Dogs have always fascinated you. The way they create bonds, love their humans, their loyalty, and friendliness. Being Jon Arryns daughter was not bad but, you felt left out most of the time since he married Lysa and their son was born. That's when the dogs came into your life. Some Lord from the north had offered puppies from his newest litter as a gift for your name day. Your father wasn't so happy about it, but he let you keep it so you could finally have some company. Initially, you had 3 dogs, but a few years later after contacting more breeders, you found yourself with a pack of 15 dogs.

You took your time to train them for protection during the conflict between the Mad King and Robert Baratheon. They obeyed you well, they looked out for you, but most of all they loved you, their loyalty was not questionable and they would give their life to save you. When the war was over your father was named hand of the king and you all moved to the Red Keep. You had begged your father to take at least some of your dogs but he wouldn't allow it. Luckily you were close enough to the working staff in The Eyrie to make sure they were well taken care of.

When you arrived at King’s Landing, King Robert made sure to have a feast in honor of the new hand and his family. He was a big man that had fought many battles and almost kept his intimidating factor intact, if it weren’t for the extra pounds he gained. What surprised you is that there were still knights protecting him.

During the feast the conversation around you was like some faded-out noise, but someone caught your attention. A tall man with a half-burned face and intense brown eyes. It was interesting to look at him, especially because of some slight facial expressions he made out of distaste for the conversations around, just like you.

"Ha! Lady Sabrina, I know about your interests in dogs but I didn't realize this one would interest you too!" Robert pointed at the man he was able to catch you staring at.

You blushed as that man at glanced at you.

"Pardon, your grace, I was lost in my thoughts." You gave a quick answer trying to avoid more embarrassment.

"No need for apologies. Sandor Clegane is a tough-looking man, our Hound!" The drunk king was getting more excited by the second. "Tell me Lady Sabrina, if we put your hounds and my hound in the arena against each other, which one would take the win?" He laughed and started choking on his own wine.

"I don't think any hound deserves to be put in that situation. I find it very distasteful, your grace." You stood up and bowed to the king while he laughed at your audacity.

"Are you leaving us already?" Robert inquired

"Yes, your grace. I am unwell, maybe I had too much wine." You were already slowly stepping away.

"Would you like to see the master?" your father asked, he always worried about your health, since your mother passed away from a terrible and silent disease, so any little symptom you had he would take it very seriously.

"No, thank you father, I will go get some books at the maester's library. If I need assistance I will call for it." You bowed lightly and as you turned your back the king spoke

"Clegane, accompany the lady to her chambers. She had a little much to drink and might need some help"

You rolled your eyes as you walked out and heard footsteps coming towards you. This is what you hated about this place. Too many people telling you what to do, keeping an eye on you, and always so many rules on what you can and can't do.

As you went to turn into the next hallway to the library Clegane stepped in front of you. You tried to go around him but he kept blocking your way.

"The king said to take you to your chambers." His tone was serious.

"Maybe you misheard it, but I need to get some books first." You tried to move away from him. He ignored you and kept blocking your way.

You tried to keep yourself composed since you had much anger and frustration stored inside you since coming to the king's landing. You took a big breath trying for the last time to be polite.

"Ser.."

"I'm no Ser."

"Seven hells! Let me go get my fucking books!" Maybe it was the alcohol that gave you the courage to raise your voice and push him out of the way, even though he didn't move an inch.

Apparently, that was amusing enough for him to let you go while he subtly smirked. You finally reached the maesters' library. The Hound stood by the entrance. You took a book, then another, then as you went to get the third book you had an idea.

"Ahem!" You cleared your throat to get his attention. He looked at you as you repeatedly looked down at the heavy books on your arms and up at him.

He scoffed and took your books.

''Wait, there's more!" You said it innocently as he turned around and you decided to find 2 of the heaviest books on forestry and wildlife and put it on top of the pile he was already carrying. He grunted.

"We can go now!" You said innocently, knowing you were being a brat. Honestly alcohol didn’t give you the best ideas.

As you found yourself by your chamber door, Clegane leaned down to hand you the books. You stepped away, opening the door to your room.

"Could you place them inside on that little table?" This time you weren't trying to be inconvenient, but there was no way you could carry all that weight.

Clegane tried to hide his annoyance. He thought you were just another spoiled highborn like Joffrey or Cersei. He placed the books on the table aggressively. You tried to walk around the table to accompany him to the door, but you tripped on one of your book piles on the floor and fell with your face on the big man's chest. He didn't move, you put your hands on his chest to get back on your feet.

"Pardon me...I think I've had too much to drink." You mumbled. He looked down to stare at you making sure you didn't get hurt on his armor. You blushed and looked away as he started to leave.

"Why do they call you The Hound?" You asked as he was almost by the door. He stopped and didn't turn around.

"Why do you care?" He grunted.

"What should I call you then?"

"Don't call me." He replied as he walked away.

#sandor clegane #the hound #sandor the hound clegane #game of thrones #got #fanfic #sandor x reader

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obamousse · 1 year ago

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Suna has such a slim waist because he has his own sets of abs exercise, and do them along with the team's practice exercises. New team members question it, but the coach only says "Suna has a special exercise". Suna's mom even registered those special exercises for him with the coach.

Suna also does those exercises when he's at home, which his mom observes. Suna might be nonchalant to everything, even volleyball, but he pays attention to it a lot. So much so, even if his exercises are gruesome (his teammates tried it out once and they ended up with sore abs for weeks), he still did it on routine. As if it was routine for him, as if it was the norm. She asked him about it, to which he answered:

"It's routine mom."

But routine doesn't appear out of nowhere, doesn't it?

Even if Suna does not notice how passionate he is, his mom knows. She has brought her son up to be independent and responsible for himself, to take initiative for the things he cares for.

Even Kita is impressed by Suna's maturity.

Suna started volleyball when he was in middle school, at a low point in his life, his parents divorcing. He was recruited into his school team because he was tall, but only stayed for a year. He was the ace, until he had to move back to China with his mom, and volleyball became a memory.

Until he picked it up in the final years ofmiddle school and also became the ace. The prefecture seemed to lack volleyball players. For the first time, he saw people with incredible skills, wits, and perseverance fighting one another for victory. He fought too, using his intuition to block the spiders, twisting his body in all directions, but failed to catch up to new, complex moves and strategies. Those he never learned in Aichi, those his teammates were also baffled and gave up on decoding. Except Suna. Except the persistent, annoying middle blocker who gradually reduced his jumping time and corrected his blocking until he became an actual threat in the final moments of the match. The battle for individual points between him, and the strong, bullheaded spiker. Two bulls, locking horns with one another. He lost. The ball landed on his side, and the final point belonged to Yako Junior High.

He stared at the people, no, twins, with identical and symmetrical black hair, staring at him, panting. He was panting too. He had never thought of exerting this much effort. He starts slow, and even slacks off when their team gains a comfortable score, but at the end when his team has less points, he works. Hard, persistent, his strange analytical mind in full use, never backing down, never giving in to fate. As if giving in to fate kills him, taking ever scrap of chance to win. He gets tired easily, yet has incredible stamina, able to last through 5 sets. It has been so long since he rested. Those twins must be using tricks to make him work hard, overexert himself because they thought he is easily tired from his lack of movement. They were dead wrong, because he was willing to go for another jump, forcing them to go for another jump, exhausting them out while exhausting himself too.

One of the twins, the loud setter, said:

"This one's hard ta crack, Samu."

A compliment. Suna felt weak and numb in his legs.

He fell down, body embracing the floor, arms out. Breathing, unblinking eyes staring at the high, high floor of the gymnasium. And he smiled. Exhilarating. Battling like that is exhilarating. Thinking, strategizing, competing, working with every tether of his body, everything he had. The first time he saw people play volleyball at a new level. How challenging, how diverse the number of attacks. How they elegantly outsmarts him and he cannot help but admire. He forgot time, smiling like a dork, as the twins of Yako Junior High walked away. The quiet spiker stole a glance at him anyway, staring down at him limp on the floor, smiling for no reason.

He is a lazy kid. He never felt so much love for working himself hard until he collapses, as if what he is working for is a passion. A passion, and so he realized.

For the first time (not like in year three as everyone around him assumes to be), he fell in love with volleyball.

That he still remembers. In his being, in his mind he knows, even in his muscles and flesh.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #suna rintarou #miya osamu #miya atsumu #junior high school #character study #mini fanfic

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astarionfixation · 1 year ago

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Chapter 4 - *Fu*k Eternity if Immortality Looks Like Me*

Part of "Am I Fu**ing Insane !?!" A multi chapter adventure in Astarion’s mind

Rating: Mature for Sex and CW Blood & Mentions of Death

Word count count: 3.6k

Pairings: Astarion X OFC Tav

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54356776/chapters/138056932

I have a quite serious praise kink. Which also means compliments in the forms of tags and/or comments might very well spur me to write and post more

** Thoughts "" Dialogue - - Remarks ++ Quotes / Memories

*I will never learn to take the sun for granted, ever*

The warmth on his skin makes almost anything tolerable, even the fact that she looks like an overexcited child on a sugar rush, skipping from one hedge to another, enthusiastic about the simple presence of plants, some of which she seems to have only seen in books. It would be charming really if he also had a chance to break his own -fast -. Not that she had much to eat: he had to force that cookie in her pocket for later though of course, when asked why he wouldn't touch food he only had to turn on the charm, with a delightful series of excuses as to why

"Breakfast? Oh, my dear, I find the company far more enticing than the food here. Why waste such precious moments with a plate when I can feast my eyes on you?”

And he knows that is way too melodramatic for her to still take on his empty flattery, but she still can’t help a smile and that makes him feel in charge of this… whatever this is… the fact that, for all she knows, they haven’t parted more than minutes since the previous night, and only when he had to keep the pretence that of course! She deserved her privacy whilst sinful droplets of water encompassed her body *and nothing else*.

“Let this finally be it darling, you’ve been dragging me through this greenery for hours now, whilst I can assure you I could have made both our afternoons so much more interesting”

She is too intent on examining the hundreth plant to even consider replying to his suggestive invitation *Pity*, but after a moment she speaks, still with a hint of the eagerness he has seen her show only when it comes to herb gathering so far.

*And the thought of me when she thinks no one’s watching*

“It’s not Mugwort, it’s Life Everlasting”

The last two words shake that part of his mind which was peeking at the surface, ready to get lost in sinful thoughts about her again

*What the !?!?!?*

Surely he heard wrong, or is she testing him? His puzzled look must give that away because she continues unprompted:

“Helichrysum is also known as Life Everlasting. It will be more than enough to prepare a tonic, there is little it won’t cure”

He swallows to gain composure even if he knows how still he has kept any and every part of his body to avoid giving anything away

“True to its name then…”

“Not quite… believe me I’ve tried.”

She continues to talk about the plant as if this truly is something she cannot help

“Decoctions, Tinctures… I would replace every single drop of blood in my body with it if it served the purpose, but the promise of its name has been greatly exaggerated”

The mention of blood reminds him painfully about his own dry throat at the same moment she sighs, her fingers keep tracing the woody stem of what seems like a pretty insignificant weed to him. Yet this is a conversation he feels concerningly drawn to, much like a moth to the flame, utterly conscious of the risk it poses and yet not remotely able to keep from prodding about it.

“Eternity then, is that what your heart truly desires?”

She nods absentmindedly, still tracing the plant with the tip of her fingers

“There are so many things that I'm set to miss”

A sigh leaves her lips and her tapered fingers halt their work on the stems of the plant.

“So many people, so many connections”

She continues, and he knows he could prod now, it would be easy to poke at her thinning barrier. In a half hearted tone he will testify in courts was meant as a joke he replies

“Is that why you asked me to stay with you last night, darling?”

And she should scoff, she should laugh, she should be led astray by where he meant to drive the conversation now, because this heavy air they have come to is not safe for discussing genuine thoughts and feelings.

When her dark eyes rise from the ground to find him she's almost… smiling? But it's resigned, and it doesn't reach her eyes, which are now fixed on him

“Believe it or not Astarion, I think I see something I know in you, and considering how slowly I'm decaying daily, I can't find it in me to be haughty and spare time I could instead spend with you for a time that neither of us might have in the future”

That is unexpectedly honest coming from the girl that stood in the light of the morning sun rays, clutching a shirt to her naked bosom as if it was the most innocent thing in the world, as if she didn’t mean all of that to be just a game to make both their resolve crumble.

“I would chance everyone shares in your predicament my darling, but you seem decidedly set on this, don't you?”

He is doing his best not to linger on the fact she’s perilously dancing on the edge of confessions way more complex than the desire she harbours for him, especially considering he should know nothing about it.

“I know what it feels like… to be just about to die”

And at that, he has to pull control from every fibre of his being not to flinch. Yet she inexorably continues, as if this had become a bloody confession.

“And ever since, time has been folding over and over in my mind, taking every joy away along with a ticking out I can't unhear. It’s all I’ve been searching, studying, looking for…”

He should be worrying, he should be aware that she might very well be tracing his thoughts just like her fingers traced the nape of his neck last night

*Surely to find a weak spot to plant a dagger!*

But he can sense the trembling in her voice, a mix of anger and fear that, despite coming from a different place than his, resembles his own feelings of complete and utter impotency at the fate imposed on him.

She shakes her head slightly and her eyes close while she inhales for a long moment, and he knows she’s trying to steady herself, confirming once again how crucial to her person this is. His mind scrambles back to the fragments of writings he found in her book that would speak of this, but he already knows his silly vanity let him scan only to find his own name committed to paper once he found the first instance, intoxicatingly tempted by discovering signs of her addiction to himself.

“But there isn’t anything… I looked” as the words leave her mouth, her gaze rises inquisitively to meet his, just as her tone ends to a slightly higher pitch.

*Is she… asking?*

Her eyes are steadily on his and he doesn’t have the time to let the silence linger on that unasked question, besides, it’s much more interesting to see what else he can persuade her to concede.

“Surely an eternal life would be valuable depending on its quality, don’t you think my darling? Otherwise you might just find yourself waking up to a nightmare that keeps repeating itself”

The moment the words leave his mouth he feels a tinge of anger directed at her because even to try and propel words from her he finds himself giving away much more than he ever planned to.

But she just smiles and shrugs, her eyes back to the little immortal plant

"Maybe I've had a comfortable and sheltered life so far, I wouldn't mind continuing it"

But he knows! He knows that’s far from true, even the little he gathered from her notes revealed unlikely similarities in the ways their choices, their bodies had become the belonging of others to play with, when praise after the beating became the only consolation she focused on, just as -many a night- he had to try and forget himself to keep going.

*Why lie now?*

“But truth is, the only immortality that awaits me is here”

Her fingers now touch the dirt at the base of the shrub, almost digging into it and a brief flash of his own fingernails bloody and covered in dirt comes to him from the night of his own first death.

“When I die, if I’m lucky, my body will be put at rest in the ground and all that awaits me is for it to decompose, feeding the next generation of plants and trees. I just wish I could accept that…”

“How morbid of you sweetling, even I have heard more legends and myths about longevity than that, surely even potential immortality, you didn’t strike me as the kind of person who would simply accept anything imposed on them”

“That’s the thing Astarion, as an elf you have dozens of my lifetimes awaiting in front of you, and whilst even that would eventually feel scarce to me, you are afforded that time. But I can’t… I can’t change what I am”

"Don't we all want to change? Be something other than ourselves for a time, to explore who we could really be?"

He will never get a chance as good as this one to poke and prod at the very real possibility that she might not recoil the moment she finds out about his true nature. And that's assuming she doesn't already know.

“What would you give for the chance to become an everlasting creature then?”

And he knows a vampire spawn like himself cannot turn her, but he suddenly sees how far their arrangement could go. Jumping ahead he can see how their interests could align and

*maybe this isn’t just the last in a series of curses laid upon me*.

Maybe she’s still so very proficient in controlling the way her emotions reflect on her face, but the traits remain placid as her fingers still absentmindedly roll the stem of the herb back and forth to the same rhythm that gives nothing away. Yet the pause was not long enough to suggest she had just come up with her answer there and then

“It would be shortsighted to give anything that I would still require to keep being the person who first needed eternity, but other than that, there’s little I wouldn’t give”

His head tilts slightly so that their eyes can meet again, because he needs to see every minuscule micro expression his next words will bring on her face

“What if all you could ever drink again was the life essence of creatures, their blood, and nothing else, but for eternity of course…”

He has barely a chance to see her eyes widen just ever so slightly, the rhythm of her breath suggesting that she’s about to answer and the fact that words would come so promptly should be a source of concern because *when would she have had time to think about that?!*...

A rustling coming from the opposite side of the glade reaches his attuned, pointed ears.

*Shit! There’s something coming!*

and before she has fully inhaled he closes the distance between them, as his lips release only one clear command whispered in her ear:

“Hide!”

With that his hand presses the centre of her chest compelling her to retreat. He knows he hasn’t been careful with his movements when in a mere few seconds he’s already at the opposite edge of the clearing and the source of the noise is now evident in the massive wild bear growling at him. There’s a vague possibility the animal might have been deprived of a few cubs when he last fed and it seems evident from the ire of it, but conversely, the delight of a meal coming to him when he usually has to scout and hunt for it almost makes him lunge.

*how appropriate to kill two birds with just one stone*

Because he will be the hero keeping her safe whilst being the monster sated in his hunger. She’s surely hiding behind a tree by now, there’s absolutely no reason to restrain and with his bite the bear will be down in mere moments. And if need be, his dagger is on him, he can even pretend that’s what dealt the final blow should she want to verify.

*Yes, those are all very good and valid reasons*

And possibly the saliva now reaching his fangs is the last thing he notices before his entire body dives and the bear does not even have time to react to him sinking his canines unceremoniously, pulling flesh and sinew without a care in the world. When the fountain of blood rhythmically rises from the jugular of the beast, it's already over and the bear has already fallen to the ground. He latches onto the open gash and when it hits his tongue It’s metallic and almost acidic but once down his throat it fills his stomach all the same. He really should not have gone hungry for days. The satisfaction and exhilaration should suggest he was really at risk of attacking someone and destroying his cover, but the thick dark fluid flows down his throat and that's all that matters now. But alas, he can tell this feast is already close to the end, no matter the pull his mouth exercises on the carcass.

With a final drag he has drained the animal and his entire upper body arches back, his eyes closing now, savouring the feeling of fullness, if only just short of satisfaction. His head thrown back as his neck extends, exposed, and he begins to feel a slight ticklishness as rivulets of blood are now making their way from his lips to his chin and jaw, past the ridge of his trachea and it’s a moment of peace if not exactly bliss, until some part of him screams preservation and he realises the dishevelment he caused.

He brings his hands to the fabric on his thighs and that’s when he realises the absolute mess he made of himself. His fingers run to his face and he can tell the blood it’s painting his features in a way that will be unequivocal to her. He would be frantically pulling at every pocket on him if the warmth of his full stomach wasn’t so naturally soothing to him, and all he can do now is just bring his fingers to his lips, sucking them and licking them clean so that no drop goes to waste. Eventually he even finds a kerchief, though…

*What a waste of silk!*

He slowly cleans the blood from his mouth with the fabric, and whilst his senses are all coming back more acutely than he could ever be gifted upon an empty stomach, there’s a languor that’s been sedated. He knows the problematics of explaining the red stains displayed on a much larger area than a blow dealt with a dagger would justify

*But I can’t give a bloody fuck right now*

His movements are dawdling and after wiping what certainly must be all the bloodshed upon him, his head lolls back, his eyes slowly open again looking upon the bear’s remains. With a measured movement he’s back on his feet and he might be feeling just a little bit more elegant, a tad bit more regal and self assured in his graceful form, standing tall.

He turns around with a delicate gracefulness to find she did follow his order: her figure almost perfectly sheltered behind a tree. The thought makes something twitch inside him

*what an obedient little thing*

A long, dark strand of hair almost covers her eyes, just not enough to conceal, and this time, for a moment, he can tell.

He can tell that she hasn’t been able to look away, though nothing on her face delivers anything like disgust or recoil at what she’s just witnessed. No, if anything he can tell by the almost imperceptible way the tip of her pink tongue peeps through her plump, red lips. It takes less than a moment, and he might have his elvish eye to thank for it, but something in her expression now feels familiar, akin to enticement

*Eager little minx, If she had ever looked at me that way before, I would have known*

The little book would have been completely redundant because, even from a distance, it's obvious how something in her yearns for him.

And right now, he can’t blame her. Right now, as his body glides with feline gracefulness, he knows she can feast her eyes all she wants because he feels magnificent himself. The life essence is bringing back each and every sense to its apex form and the sunlight feel glorious against the smooth skin of his cheeks, and her heartbeat coupled with her slightly laboured breath is a compelling evidence to sustain every word and thought she has spent over him

+Something must have happened to Astarion, something bad enough to take away his voice, his actual voice, and left him outside looking in. And I don't know how to tell him he's not alone+

And right now the memory of her words coming back to him doesn't even bother him. In fact it's almost sweet how set upon finding his saving graces she is, so much so that she might deserve a treat.

He's just a few feet away from the tree she's still hiding behind, though her one beautiful dark eye peeking has not left him since he began stalking towards her. He gets closer, his long legs lithely gliding towards her and *she can have a show in fact*.

As he reaches the tree he extends his hand towards her so he can coax her out, his voice just like honey

“You're safe now darling, but you can show me your gratitude as you see best fit, though I might have a few suggestions I wouldn't mind indulging in”

At that she moves closer and now that she's not playing hide and seek anymore he has the visual of her increased heartbeat and laboured breath depicted on the rosiness of her cheeks that somehow spread the aroma of mulled wine and flowers even more than usual. The tug at his stomach that's usually elicited by her scent is now happening quite a few inches lower and

*Fuck!*

Her dark eyes seem fixed on a spot just next to his mouth, and as she is now getting closer to him a new layer seems to be hidden in her bouquet, like the sweet tanginess of pomegranate? When she stops for an instant just in front of him, in that moment a flash of terror seeps through his boastful, post prandial confidence

*Shit do I still have blood on my face?? She knows! She must know and I'm fucked! She'll get the others to drive a stake through my heart and fuck waxing lyrical about eternity if immortality looks like… me*

And if that's the end, he concedes to himself to inhale deeply, to hold and commit her exquisite scent to his memory, and when her face gets closer to him

*she must certainly be on her tiptoes now*

Her lips are pressing on his cheek, really so close to the corner of his mouth that at any point it will become debatable whether this would account for a real, proper *first* kiss.

“Thank you, Astarion”

She breathes the words on his skin and she's so up close that it now hits him, that sweet, tangy addition to her scent that reminds him of the tart, juicy seeds of a pomegranate is there for one reason.

*Because she's aroused*

At this point it seems worth considering celebrating this feast by grabbing her waist and pushing her back against the tree, fingers immersed in the softness of her thighs until her legs wrap around his hips and he can finally pin her to the tree trunk while his long fingers move deftly under her garments and

*Fuck! Why do I keep going back there!*

He swallows to keep her scent within his insides and a long, delicate finger finds one of her dark curls to wrap around and place just behind her ear so that his fingertip can brush even just for one moment against that spot that he can finally feel beating rhythmically against his digit. His eyes move to her lips, which seem just a tad bit redder after the kiss she planted on his face, as his entire hand now delves in her hair, caressing her scalp whilst his thumb is on her check and his entire hand is full of her softness, her hair *her mind underneath* and because she hasn't even put up a pretence of annoyance he pushes his luck

“Speaking of which, you were about to open up to me, weren’t you, sweet thing? Before we were so rudely interrupted”

He lets the words linger so he can measure her response and when the hand holding her head ever so slightly pulls her closer, guiding her dark eyes to meet his crimson ones again, she just lets him, so he lowers his tone and continues…

“Can you find your words for me now darling?”

And it seems like all the emotions he can read on her face pool around curiosity, enticement. Her lips tremble for a moment and she has to swallow before her sweet breath is once again hitting his senses.

“Hypothetically… if it was to be blood…”

She reaches up on her tiptoes now, her deftly hands found a way to sneak upon him again and they are now pulling at the fabric on his shoulders as she pulls herself closer so that her cheek is now brushing against his until her next words hit directly against the sensitive outer part of his pointy ear, even though it’s barely a whisper

“You just made it look extremely inviting”.

#astarion #astarion fanfic #astarion x oc #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 astarion #ao3 fanfic #astarion x tav #bg 3 #bg 3 fanfic #astarion ancunin #astarion smut #bg3 smut #baldur's gate smut #tav x astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion pov #ao3 smut

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medusapelagia · 2 years ago

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8 Au-gust: Robots and Androids - Part 9

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 , Part 9, Part 10

Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson WT: Android Steve Harrington, Wanted Criminal Eddie Munson, Temporary Character death [Steve], surgery on the android Words: 2340

Getting off the building is incredibly easy, no one pays attention to a dirty boy while there is an android that crashed to the ground.

Eddie forces himself not to look at the crash site and keeps following the tracker.

He steals a black cloak, uses the hood to hide his face, and keeps following the tracker, he has no fucking idea who Stevie might have called but surely is better than being taken back to prison to wait for his death sentence.

He has conflicted sentiments about the android. Not only did S.T.E.V.E. saved his life two times in a row, but he is also half-human. Or at least he has some human memories buried deep in his codex and he doesn't even know. It seems cruel that he died like that, without knowing any of that.

Eddie shakes his head. He is not dead. He is a machine, and a machine can’t die.

But on every screen in town, he keeps seeing the video of the android that falls from the building and then crashes to the ground.

In the last image, the android’s eyes are open but there is no light behind them while he lies on the ground like a fallen angel.

Eddie is not looking at those images. He is not thinking about the android. He is walking toward salvation. Or at least that’s what he hopes he is doing.

“Boy.”

He knows that voice, Eddie turns and sees Owens hidden behind a corner.

He runs toward him, finding his companions with him.

“Never leave like that again!” Owens scolds him, while he hugs him “Are you ready to go home?”

“But how?!!”

“Someone made sure we received the message. We were ready to assault the prison to get to you but our informant told us that you had help from the inside and that we should have just waited for you to come. Now let's go, the quicker we leave the lesser are the chances that we are going to get killed.”

“There is someone…” Eddie says, stopping the man.

“Another captive?”

“An android.”

Owens glares at him “We don’t help android Eddie. We fight them! Don’t you remember?”

“But he is special!”

“I don’t care how special he is…”

“He is half-human!”

Owens turns toward Eddie “What?!”

“Listen I can’t explain it to you but we can’t let them thorn him to pieces!”

“And what do you want us to do?!”

“The town is still in chaos. He crashed on the ground so they are sending someone to recoil his parts. If we could get there and steal the transportation and its cargo we could take him away.”

Owens shakes his head “Eddie I’m not going to risk everyone’s life because you got involved with a fucking android!”

“He saved my life. Twice.” Eddie protests.

“He would have had his motifs.”

“I can't leave him. Please. He was the help that I had from the inside!”

Gareth gets closer to them “The android helped you escape?!”

Eddie nods, and Gareth turns toward Ownes “We need to help him.”

“That’s madness!”

“Our entire mission is madness, Owens, but if we can have an android on our side maybe he could help us!” Gareth exclaims.

“What if he was only working to gain Eddie’s trust? What if it’s just a trap, uh?”

“It’s not. Please trust me on this one!” Eddie begs.

“If you get in trouble we will not be able to save you, you know that?” Owens asks seriously, and when Eddie nods he finally agrees “So, what’s the plan?”

***

The plan is that Owens will drive them as close as possible to the crash site and then Gareth and Eddie will try to steal the transportation with S.T.E.V.E.’s body and they will drive to the interchange station where they will get on Owens' ship.

“Fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes and then we are leaving, with or without you.”

Eddie nods, hiding his face with the hood.

“We’ll be there.”

“Good luck, son.”

Eddie and Gareth leave and they blend in as well as they can.

“Vecna.” Gareth whispers and Eddie sees it, kneeling next to Stevie and saying something to the other androids that lift the body. One of S.T.E.V.E.'s arms is definitely broken but they can’t see exactly how damaged the android is.

Eddie turns toward Gareth “Get on the van. And be ready to drive like a bat out of hell when I tell you.”

“Are you sure? We can still go back to the ship and…”

“This is important, Gareth. I swear!”

The boy nods and moves toward the van. Now Eddie has to wait for one of the androids to put the body inside and then get in the back of the van with Stevie.

Easy right?

He moves closer and closer, feigning to be a curious citizen but paying attention to hide his face until he is just a few feet from the van.

He sees Gareth open the van and gets to the driver seat, thank god they all know how to hot and wire!

When the android leaves the body on the stretcher inside the van Eddie smashes the van door against the android and the android, surprised, falls to the ground.

He gets inside quickly, screaming “Go! Go! Go!” and Gareth starts to drive as fast as he can.

Thank god Owens is still waiting for them.

“I told you fifteen minutes!” he yells, but he is still there.

They push the stretcher inside the ship and quickly escape.

“Hold on to something! We are going to jump!” he announces.

“But we are too close to the surface!” someone tries to protest, but the familiar knot in the stomach tells Eddie all he needs to know.

They are jumping.

***

There is only one person that Eddie trusts to repair Stevie.

“Are you sure that the coordinates are the right ones? There is nothing on that planet.”

“There is a small human outpost. I’m sure. I have been there before.”

Owens looks at him with uncertainty but in the end, he nods and puts the coordinate on their ship.

Even if the landing is better than the last one, the welcome is worse.

Hopper, wearing a thermal suit, is threatening to blow up the entire ship, when Eddie gets out of the ship, his hands in the air “It’s Stevie! It needs help!””

As soon as they get to the human outpost Dustin and El are waiting for them.

“Oh god. Oh god. What the fuck happened?!” Dustin screams, trying to map every broken piece in Steve’s body.

“He fell… He fell from a building.”

“How the fuck did he… oh no. Tell me he didn’t fly.”

Eddie lowers his eyes.

“Fuck! I told him! I told him that he couldn’t fly anymore! Shit, shit, shit! I have to run a full diagnostic. Maybe we can save his personality chip and move it to another android.”

“No.” El says, quietly.

“Have you seen the damage El? I don’t think we can repair him! We need… I don’t know what we need but definitely more than we got!”

El puts a hand on Dustin’s shoulder “We can do it, Dustin. We have to.”

Dustin shakes his head, trying to clear his mind, and then looks at Eddie “I will need all the help I can get.”

***

Eddie knows a lot about androids. He knows how they work, and where the weakest points are, but he has never seen an android so damaged as S.T.E.V.E.

“You can fix him, right?” he asks Dustin, feeling unsure.

“Why do you care? You are the one that kept calling him a tin can.”

He doesn’t want to explain to Dustin what he discovered, not if they are not able to repair him.

“The arm is gone, we need to replace it entirely.” Dustin declares, removing the screw that keeps the arm tight to the chest.

“What about his chip and his code?”

“Why do you care?” Dustin asks again “You are hiding something and I’m working blind here. So help me if you really want to fix him!”

“He might have some human memories encrypted somewhere in his code!” Eddie blurts out.

Dustin’s sight goes to El, who simply nods.

“You knew and you didn’t tell me?”

“I had my suspicions.” she replies while holding part of Steve’s chest open for Dustin.

“I swear to god… you and your fucking secrets…” he mumbles.

Dustin keeps working with a little cutting torch, trying to reconnect the circuits, and suddenly S.T.E.V.E.’s eyes open wide.

“Eddie…” he calls confused.

“Hi there.”

“What?” he asks, trying to move.

“You have to stay still. Ok, Stevie? You got hurt but Dustin is going to fix you in no time.

Steve sees his chest open.

“Don’t look at that, look at me.” Eddie says, taking his metal hand into his “Keep your eyes on me, ok big boy?”

“Big boy?” he asks, confused.

“Yeah… it’s a nickname, you know? A little name you give to people you care about…”

“People you care…” S.T.E.V.E.’s eyes turn black for a moment while a buzzing sound feels the air.

“Boy… boy… boy… big boy… big… boy… pretty… pretty… pretty boy…” S.T.E.V.E. murmurs like a litany.

“What the fuck is going on?” Eddie yells.

Every sensor is beeping.

“We are losing him.” Dustin replies without stopping to work on Steve.

“You have to turn him off.” El declares calmly.

“We don’t know if he will be able to restart him if we turn him off. We could lose all the data.”

“It is overheating. You have to disconnect the battery, Dustin. You have to do it now.”

The android is still babbling words without sense. His plastic eyes turn toward Eddie “I love you…” he whispers, and then Dustin disconnects the battery.

***

For a moment everything stills.

“Did he say…?”

Eddie is looking astonished at the android: S.T.E.V.E.'s head is still turned toward him, his mouth half open as he was interrupted while he was speaking.

“Fix him.” Eddie snarls.

“Look, Eddie, I like him too but…”

“Fix him! You have to fix him!” he yells, approaching Dustin in a threatening way.

El let S.T.E.V.E.’s chest down gently and gets between the two.

“Don’t threaten him.”

“He must fix him!”

“He will do all he can to fix S.T.E.V.E. but you can’t ask the impossible from Dustin. S.T.E.V.E. would not want that.”

“I don’t give a fuck about what he would want or not! He has to fix him.”

The air is full of tension between the three of them.

“I can try to work on him while he is disconnected, and then try to connect him back. But if I say that is not working we stop and I don’t care if you are going to kill me or what. I will not put my people in peril.” Dustin says, sounding immediately older than he is.

Eddie stops. Is that what he is doing? Threatening the humans to save an android? How the fuck did that happen?

Eddie shakes his head “I’m sorry… I don’t know what happened to me. You are right, obviously. Do the best that you can to repair him, ok?”

Dustin nods, and El helps him.

He is still with his arms inside S.T.E.V.E. when he looks at Eddie “Do you think you are thinking clearly enough to help?” Eddie nods “Good. Because I need more hands.”

***

They work on the android for hours, while Eleven keeps the time.

“If he stays disconnected more than six hours he is not going to restart.”

Eddie nods, he knows that. He used that technique on some androids to get rid of them.

“Time?” Dustin asks.

“Four hours forty-seven minutes, fifty-two seconds.”

“Good. We still have time. I fixed everything I could on his chest, now we have to work on his back. I think we must take away the engines, they are too unstable.”

“But you need to put something to patch his back.

“We could leave space for some wings. He would still be able to fly for a little distance.”

“It would take too much time, Dustin.” El declares.

“What do you propose?”

“Close him. Maybe add more plates to protect his inside.”

“Patch him up, Dustin. Enough to keep him working. We will talk about the specifics later on.”

Dustin nods and takes some new metal plates to cover the huge hole that Steve has in his shoulder “He will not be balanced without his arm and his engines.”

“What do you mean?”

“He will have to learn how to walk. I don’t know if its program is flexible enough to adjust to this kind of change.

“What does that mean?” Eddie asks, confused.

“That he will not be a hunter anymore.”

“And how is this a bad thing?”

“Eddie. If he is not a hunter what do you think will happen to him when he leaves this outpost?”

But Eddie has an entire plan that can work only if the stupid tin can keep working.

“Time?”

“Five hours Thirty four minutes, twelve seconds.”

“We have to close.”

“But it’s not complete.” Eddie complains.

“No, but I need time to see if it turns on or not. Help me close him.”

Fuck.

They seal all they can and then Dustin gets the little cable that connects the battery to S.T.E.V.E.’s central system.

“Ready?”

Eddie nods, and Dustin connects it.

For a moment nothing happens.

Then, slowly, S.T.E.V.E. opens his eyes. Eddie is ready to cry with joy when S.T.E.V.E. says a name he was not waiting for...

“Billy?”

Tag list: @shunna, @yourmom-isgay I hope you enjoy it!

#android AU #Wanted Criminal Eddie Munson #Android Steve Harrington #tumblr fic #myfanfic #steddie #au gust 2023 #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things fanfic #writing challenge #medusapelagia #medusapelagia fanfic #my fanfic

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thecagedbard · 1 year ago

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Oh Look, another Tav story! This is currently posted over on AO3 in its entirety but I thought I’d post it to tumblr as well. If you’d like to sneak a peak at some of the chapter names, if you don’t want to read the whole thing yet, have a listen to the title playlist: here. There is also just the ‘Here’s what I was listening to while writing' playlist, and my Faetrala Uncaged playlist which serves as inspiration for Vesper’s siblings. A lot of the songs tend to overlap but who knows, you might find one you enjoy.

Rating: Mature

Pairing(s): Astarion/Tav (Vesper), Astarion/Halsin, Astarion/Halsin/Tav(Vesper); Mentions of Karlach/Shadowheart/Wyll; Mentions of Gale/AFAB OC

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Canon Divergence, Child Death

Word count: 9,322/300,000+

Summary: Vesper needed someone to protect her from an abusive husband should he appear after she was abducted by mind flayers. Astarion needed someone to fall for him so he had protection from Cazador. He's got two hundred years of manipulation and she has the soft heart of a lamb being led to slaughter. While subconsciously healing each other they both realize they also need to heal the druid of all damned people.

Chapter Six

The opportunity to speak with Astarion slipped from her hands faster than a zhentarim agent could drop a bottle of alchemist fire. While the plan was clear, they were headed to the underdark in search of the Sharran Temple or city or whatever it was, neither Karlach nor Astarion was quite ready to give the surface world up just yet, plus Halsin had said it would be a couple of days before he could join them because of Kagha’s trial.

The party had left their camp and traveled back to the toll house before following the risen road. Days ago they had found a group of three gnolls and fought them along with newborns after they had burst from the bellies of hyenas. Today the sounds of explosions caught their attention as they wandered. Gnolls as large as the three they had fought before were hunting something within a cave, as he normally did Astarion’s hand pushed down on the top of the bard’s head but he wasn’t fast enough for the gnoll that was painting a symbol in blood on the wall to not notice them.

The creature howled before surging forward and came to a sudden halt before the bard, their tadpoles connecting. “Karlach, kill it!” Astarion shouted as all of them doubled over. When the initial connection fell the others realized the hyenas and gnolls behind this one were beginning to surge forward, Karlach had lifted her blade ready to attack the one looming over the bard, but Vesper held her hand up.

How did a gnoll get a tadpole? Why was ‘this meat,’ which she assumed was herself and her companions, forbidden? Stepping into the gnoll’s space she pushed for the tadpole in her head to find the answers and at the same time felt a hand encircle her wrist trying to pull her back, “Wait!” she had cried out, “give me a just a second. Take the others.”

A deeper push into the gnoll’s consciousness gaining what little information it had, and decided to try and distract it with a joke. “What’s the difference between man and meat?” Gale had looked at her as he climbed one of the boulders near her, “What?” The gnoll’s head had tilted before she told the punch line, “Thirty seconds and a hungry maw.”

“What?” the wizard had said a second time before the gnoll began to cackle. Much like its pre-bipedal form, the cackle sounded like a hyena and the control that the gnoll pack leader had over her pack spread the laugh to all of them.

“How in the hells did you do that?” asked Karlach as she looked at the bard, “The joke wasn’t even that good…” Astarion flanked one of the bipedal creatures with her and shrugged his shoulders, “Perhaps it's their lack of intelligence. One at a time, shall we?”

The creatures went down easily since they were able to take the time and attack together, when the final one standing was the pack leader, she felt a tug on the belt of her armor and walked behind Astarion as she heard him mutter, “Thirty seconds and a hungry maw…truly?” She shrugged her shoulders as best she could and watched as they attacked in unison, Shadowheart sputtering as blood splattered across her face.

Karlach stood as her shoulders heaved, “That was really a bad joke…but it worked.” Vesper looked at the tiefling as she talked and laughed softly, “I’m full of a ton more.” The axe-bearing woman tilted her head, “Well I guess we have our traveling entertainment.” There was a shout from inside the cave that had them turning to look in its direction, from the mouth of the cave two men came running out clad in all black.

The tiefling made space for Vesper to step forward and tilted her head in the man’s direction as the taller blond yelled out to them again, his hand raising into the air with a wave. A hand at her back lightly pushed her forward and she looked back and then up to Astarion who smiled at the man, “See what he wants, you’re good at reading people aren’t you?”

“Shadowheart is better–hello, are you alright?” her last couple of steps stumbled as Astarion gave her another indelicate shove forward.

“Gods, you are a sight. I thought we were going to be gnoll shit before anyone came to our rescue,” the man held out a hand before he simply stepped forward and grabbed onto one of Vesper’s shaking it, “Rugan. The boy and I were a part of a caravan traveling west, did you see any of my men out here?” Vesper shook her head and explained the scene they had found just south of where they stood, “Damn it all.”

“Where’re you traveling from?” asked Karlach as she stayed just behind the bard’s shoulder. Vesper could feel the heat from Karlach’s body indicating just how close she was but she didn’t interject anything, she just kept an eye on the man before looking back at the cave to see a younger man peeking out of the cave.

As Rugan explained where they were from and that they were carrying good bound of Baldur’s Gate something he said made her wrinkle her brow in confusion. He spoke of being paid of tarenths she had heard that word before when dealing with a debt for Issac. Those men who had spoken of it had been mercenaries. The hand that had been on her back slipped up to hold onto her shoulder and Astarion stepped closer so he was directly beside her, “You’re Zhentarim?” he asked, Vesper looked toward her pale companion and saw him looking the two over, “Your people don’t deal in ‘baubles.’”

Rugan lifted a finger while he chuckled, “You know who we are–very clever. Then you probably also know it’s not smart to interfere with Zhent business.” The human wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm and cocked his head, “This is the point where a clever group like you accepts my gratitude and walks away.” Vesper looked from the man to Astarion and back before she smiled, “Of course…hardly seems right to save you only to rob you of your charge, right?” She looked at the spawn next to her whose smile went from threatening to tight as he looked at her his eyes narrowing in frustration, “Right…of course. We’ll see you at your little watering hole then…”

The man nodded and turned calling out to the boy in the cave while the three watched him stride back. Astarion lowered his voice, “We could have used whatever he had in there…what if he’s carrying a ton of jewels? Shame really…” Karlach snorted, “Right well, if we really want their stuff I suppose we could always attack all of them at once.” The bard nodded and inhaled shakily before turning, “Yeah…all of them.”

The tiefling looked down and frowned, “What is it? Did you know him?” Vesper angled her head to look at the tiefling, “Hm? No! I’ve just dealt with Zhent before…not a happy experience by any means.” She realized then that they were missing three members of the party, “Where’s the others?” Karlach turned and pointed, Gale was bent over one of the gnolls as he used a knife to cut its ears off, “Probably ingredient gathering…or trophy collecting. Not sure really,” she grinned as she looked back at the elves. The rogue’s face was twisted as his lip curled, and his nose wrinkled, “Somehow I didn’t take Gale for a collector…do those have some sort of magic within them?” he called out and Gale looked up and chuckled before returning to his task.

Shadowheart was going through the belongings of the gnoll leader and held up a flail, “Something about this doesn’t feel right. Like it’s a curse or something.” Wyll only nodded and held open his bag, “Perhaps if Gale’s problem persists it will find some use then. Otherwise, we can get rid of it as soon as possible… there are cliffs not far from here near Waukeen’s Rest,” the warlock said as he flipped the closure on the bag once the weapon was inside.”

“There’s a parasite as well, I can feel it calling to me,” said Shadowehart as she began to back up. Astarion bounced on his toes as he pulled an empty bottle from his pocket, “Allow me then.” When the little creature began to exit its host looking for a new one the rogue was quick to pick it up and place it within the glass container. Tapping on the jar he smiled at it, “Hello new friend…I wonder what you’ll give us.” The cleric watched the spawn with a look of disbelief on her face, “Tentacles, mucus-covered skin…nothing attractive I’m sure.” Astarion barely spared the cleric a look before he walked up to the bard and dropped it into the bag that rested on her shoulders while asking, “How far to this Waukeen’s Rest then?” Vesper stumbled as the rogue pulled at her bag and froze while he finished whatever he was doing, when she was finally able to move freely again she noticed he had her ration pouch once more. “Must you eat all of my snacks?” she asked as he pulled a piece of dried meat from the bag, turning to Wyll, who seemed to know the area better she asked, “What is Waukeen’s Rest? That Zhent agent mentioned it as well, said his ‘friends’ had their own tavern there.”

Wyll raised a brow as he looked past the bard and motioned for her to lower her volume, he started down the hill and looked back waiting for the others to follow. Karlach and Vesper shared a look before following after him, Astarion wasn’t far behind while the cleric and wizard brought up the rear. “It’s an inn, my father used to frequent when he had to come this way years ago, not too far perhaps another hour or so. Zhent agents you said?” he titled his head down as he spoke to Vesper, “Perhaps we should stop after all. Let someone there know that there’s a black market going on under their noses.” Gale sighed as he heard it was an inn, “An inn, maybe they will have room and we can have an actual bed for the night. A warm bath and fine cooked meal sound like just the thing I could use right about now.” Shadowheart sighed at the thought as well, “I haven’t minded camping but having a bed does sound rather nice. An hour you say? What are we waiting for?”

They began walking again, Wyll taking the lead ahead of the others. While walking Karlach snatched the bag Astarion had taken from the bard and passed it back to her with a chuckle, “One night and you’re acting like you’ve been given free access to her things.” Astarion grunted when the bag was taken from him, “I thought I said not to say anything,” he said to Vesper whose face began to color as Shadowheart looked at the woman walking beside her. “What are they talking about? One night?” she asked before looking back at Astarion and then her eyes got wide, “You didn’t!” she exclaimed her eyes finding the bard again.

Vesper threw a look behind her to the rogue, “I hadn’t said anything. I told you Karlach saw you…you’re also the one that told her to tell me!” She heard a male chuckling and whipped her head around to see Gale now fighting a grin, huffing Vesper began walking faster to walk next to Wyll as the others laughed a little harder.

“It should be just,” Wyll paused mid-step as his eyes glanced skyward. “Smoke…something’s on fire,” said Vesper as she too looked upward and then took off after the warlock. People in red and yellow tabards were gathering water from a fountain before throwing it on a fire that was engulfing the whole building and those beside it. Karlach joined the two and looked at Wyll before looking at the door. One of the people in heavy armor turned, “Don’t just stand there, Duke Ravengard is in there!”

“Duke Ravengard?” asked Wyll and his face fell before he ran up to the door and kicked his foot through it, the door giving way to his weight and the flames licking at it from the inside. Karlach scooted past him, “Let me, Wyll. If it goes up in flame I should be fine for the most part, worlds better than you at least.” Wyll only gave a nod, “Quickly, Karlach!”

They lost sight of Karlach and she and the others in heavy armor ran for the stairs. Wyll covered his mouth with his hand as he took in the building and Vesper walked up to him placing a hand on his shoulder, “Do you know this Duke Ravengard?” Wyll looked at the bard and lowered his hand, “Yes…I–” The sound of more debris falling interrupted them and they both turned to the building. Astarion, Gale, and Shadowheart stopped running as they got near, “Where did Karlach go?” asked Shadowheart and both Vesper and Wyll pointed into the building. The cleric’s eyes widened and she looked at them, “You just let her? What if she gets caught in the fire?!” Wyll looked over to Shadowheart before turning back to the building, “Someone’s coming, Shadowheart get ready!” The cleric nodded and began preparing a healing spell.

The woman who came running out knew Wyll and Wyll knew her. Vesper watched between them as they spoke and was surprised when she heard the word ‘Father’ being placed so near a description of Duke Ravengard. “You’re the son of a duke?” she asked as she looked at the warlock who dropped his head, “Yes.”

“Not just any duke,” Astarion said as he stepped closer, “Ulder Ravengard…he’s quite possibly the most powerful duke in all of Baldur’s Gate!” The woman, Counselor Florrick, if Vesper had heard Wyll correctly, reported to them how a group of drow and goblins had attacked just recently and kidnapped the duke. Vesper’s attention shifted when there was more wood falling and even Wyll’s head snapped to the side looking for a sign of Karlach, “Your friend was just behind me…I don’t–” a shadow appeared in the smoke and Karlach ran out of the building, “Gale with me! There’s someone still trapped in here.” And she was running off again, this time the wizard and cleric following her.

“If the goblins and drow are working together it likely has to do with the cult of the Absolute,” Wyll was circling Florrick now, “they’ll be making their way to Moonrise Towers. I have it on good authority, Counselor.” The woman nodded, “I will need your help Wyll, your father will need your help.” Vesper looked at the woman, “He’ll have it…we’re on our way there already.” Florrick watched as Wyll went running for the same building as the other before looking at the two elves in front of her, “Thank you. Fist, you have your orders! To Moonrise Towers!” As the armored individuals began their march out Vesper ran for the building, putting a hand over her mouth as the smoke of the scorched floor rose to meet her, “Keep your head down,” she heard Astarion say and crouched down as they ran up the stairs. Just as they reached the top of the stairs the sound of a boom shook the building, a man came running through and Gale shot a ray of frost behind him as Karlach also came running from the flaming building.

“Sorry, it took a while to find a safe way to get to him…” said Karlach as she doubled over coughing at the smoke that filled her lungs, “We should go back downstairs,” the bard said. The others nodded but Shadowheart was bent over the man who had been rescued applying healing spells to him. After two, she took one of the potions from her side and held it out to him, “This should help, but you can’t stay here.” He was crying over his wife and batted her away. Wyll coughed before shaking his head and grabbing Shadowheart’s arm, “He knows, we have to go.”

They all made it outside, there were a few people still trying to futilely put the fire out, but the flames didn’t want to go down, Gale coughed heavily before sighing in relief as Shadowheart cast restoration on him, “I don’t think it was the brightest idea for you to run into a burning building. Your lungs are still healing you know,” the cleric said to the wizard and he gave a grunting laugh. “I cannot argue when you’re right. But Wyll…you’re the son of a duke?” Wyll grimaced as he splashed his face with water from the fountain, “I am. I am both the Blade of Frontiers and I am Wyll Ravengard, son of Duke Ulder Ravengard…” Astarion’s face twisted, “I didn’t even realize that Ravengard had a son?”

Vesper listened to them talk as she sat down on the edge of the fountain. Wyll’s parentage didn’t much matter to her, she knew it meant that the warlock in their party was technically nobility but he was here just like them. Why should it matter? For a split second that awful part of her perked up, Issac would be afraid of–she closed her eyes and pushed the thought away. She still needed to find time to talk to Astarion but after such a walk today she was tired.

Warmth filled her left side and Vesper opened her eyes to look at Karlach, “Are you alright? The fire didn’t hurt you did it?” she asked the tiefling who shook her head, “I’m perfectly fine. Thought I’d check on you…you lost some color when you met that Zhentarim guy. You sure you didn’t know him? He didn’t…” her head bowed down and she didn’t finish the question, but Vesper knew where her thought process was leading. “No, believe me, I don’t forget their faces,” the bard said with a sad smile on her face, “nor would they pass up the opportunity to mock me if they saw me.” She met the tiefling’s gaze for just a moment before looking away and coughing again. Her bag was shrugged off her shoulders and she began to look for her canteen, taking a drink she sighed in relief and held it out, “Gale, have some.” The wizard turned away from his conversation with Wyll and took the container with a silent thanks before drinking deeply and sitting down on her other side, “Those mercenaries said had a place here?” The bard and warrior both nodded, “Don’t suppose they might have had a hand in what happened here do you?” Vesper looked at him and frowned, “I won’t say it isn’t possible–” Karlach interrupted, “Wouldn't be surprised since a Zhent was in that temple.” Vesper looked back to the woman beside her, “There was?”

Karlach nodded, “Yeah when we were first walking about we spoke to a few people and this little halfling wasn’t too friendly with us poking around. Oh, shit…” The tiefling's eyes got wide and she looked to Gale, “We forgot the cub!” Gale read the confusion on the bard's face and explained, “On our way in, there was an owlbear cub much like the one we saw in that cave being chased by goblins. Some game they called ‘Chicken Chase.’ Karlach wanted to save it but it had completely slipped my mind. I’m sorry, Karlach, the likelihood of it–”

“No! Don’t say that we have to go back!”

“If those goblins are there it could be a death trap for us.”

“And if we don’t go they’ll cook the cub! C’mon, Gale, we gotta save the baby if you guys couldn’t save the mama!” It was strange seeing Karlach trying to give the wizard puppy-dog eyes. But she was putting her best sad face forward as her head tilted down, “Please?”

The others were finally tuning into the conversation behind them and Astarion shook his head, “No, let’s not go back. Those goblins will want us dead. We’re better off dealing with the mercenaries.” Vesper looked up, “If you all go down there I’ll stay out here. I’d rather not deal with them at all.” The rogue frowned as he looked down at her, “Why? Bad experience with black market traders?” Karlach was quick to step in, “You could say that. It’s more the people less the practice I think,” she turned and smiled when the bard nodded. “What if she and I go back? Halsin thought the goblins would disappear once their leaders were gone. We,” she motioned to herself and Vesper, “could go get the cub while you lot deal with these ‘traders’ or whatever.”

“Absolutely not,” Astarion shook his head and negatively waved his hands, “Vesper staying up here is one thing considering the burning building and chaos surrounding this place, the two of you running off back to where we ran from to save an owlbear is completely different.”

“What if we did both?” Vesper finally spoke up, all eyes were on her and she shrank a bit from the attention, “Those that want to go down to the zhentarim can go, and the rest go to the camp?” Astarion stared at her, dumbfounded, “No!” his vowel was elongated as he shook his head, “You’re not putting yourself in danger. It’s either everyone goes so that we’re each protected or no one.” Karlach smirked and looked at him, “So we’re all going then?” The rogue’s face fell and he shook his head, “That’s not what I said.” Shadowheart hummed, “It kind of is…you said we all go or no one. I don’t think Karlach’s going to give up on the baby owlbear…you didn’t see her when she saw it.”

The tiefling turned to Vesper, “It was the cutest little murderous thing.” The bard giggled and nodded, if it was the cub they had seen in the cave she already knew that. She looked up at Astarion who was glaring at each of them before he met her eyes, “Oh alright fine! But first the zhent. Maybe they have clothes and someone,” he gave a pointed look to the bard, “can actually be comfortable when they’re in camp.” Karlach grinned, winking at Vesper, before she replied to Astarion, “You’re so sweet, Astarion. How’d you know I wanted something new to wear?”

Unfortunately, the conversation about Vesper staying topside went much the same way. Arguments about her safety, and her choices, and Wyll even threw in a barb about her reaping the consequences that made the bard wince. The warlock however was the one to come up with a place for her to hide, there was a barn next to the warehouse they’d been told about, so far the fire had not reached this far and after casting a few frost cantrips Gale felt it was safe enough.

Astarion wasn’t thrilled but he quit complaining, as the others left the barn he looked at her, “First spark and I want you out of here. I don’t care if you come down to the rest of us, just…” he looked her over and waved his hands as though coming up with the words were hard. Vesper gave him a solemn nod, “Good,” he said and turned halfway before looking back, “I’d hate to know that last night would be our only night.” When her cheeks flushed and she opened her mouth he only grinned, “It’s so fun getting you all worked up.”

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

Her companions were gone for quite some time. As tired as the bard was she was just as worried about the fire spreading as Astarion was so she couldn’t find it in her to fully rest. Rather she found a somewhat comfortable area on the ground behind a pile of hay and sat down. She was just starting to sing one of the few songs she still remembered when she heard yelling and footsteps quickly approaching, “Vesper!” Her name was yelled so quickly and loudly that she jumped and peeked around the haystack as Wyll slid into the barn nearly falling on the ice, “We have to go! Hurry!” He waved his hands and held out his hands while she quickly got to her feet and slung her bag over her shoulder. There was more yelling as she and Wyll ran toward the others, Gale held a scroll in his hands and as they passed him he let go and finished the incantation, a wall of stone rising from the ground to close the archway in the building.

“That isn’t the only way out of there, we have to keep going, run!” the wizard announced as he ducked to grab his bag and followed after the others.

“What happened?!” yelled Vesper as they reached the far end of the road down from the inn. She was doubled over like many of them, her heavy breathing matching Gale’s as she rested her hands on her knees. “I thought you were just going to talk?” the bard shifted her gaze to Wyll, expecting him to have acted as the hero again, but everyone slowly turned to look at Astarion’ who puffed his cheeks for a minute and let out a guilty giggle, “I may have tried to take the chest they were hiding…and after talking my way out of that one I–uh,” his pitch went a little higher before he cleared his throat, “they seemed to accept us, how was I to know they wouldn’t want us looking in the back rooms?”

Shadowheart stood straighter and wiped a smudge off her face, “They were all preparing to leave and blow the place up. Gale cost us 600 gold to buy a painter and then Astarion thought he’d go sightseeing where there were giant wolves.” The cleric was seething as she said ‘wolves’ and the bard remembered that Shadowheart had a fear of them. Astarion’s hands wavered in the air dismissively before he dropped them, “We survived, let’s count our victories. I was just attempting to see if there was something to make our six hundred gold back.”

Vesper looked to the human beside her and he smiled in her direction with a guilty expression in his gaze before he tilted his head with a shrug, “A man was being held captive. I was able to talk them down from a thousand gold…which we certainly didn’t have. Then the no-good louse of an artist had the nerve to ask for even more gold so he could drink his way from here to Baldur’s Gate.” Gale pushed himself into a standing position and placed his hands on his lower back as he stretched, “He did promise to rebate our gold once we made it to the city–” “If we make it,” the vampire’s spawn interjected. “Yes,” said Gale, “if we make it. He wouldn’t say who his patron was but that she would be grateful for his rescue.”

Karlach shook her head, “You didn’t get scammed much back in Waterdeep did you?” Gale’s brow furrowed as he thought and he shook his head, “No, but I don’t think the man will forget those who bought his freedom. Call me delusional if you’d like but I’d rather be optimistic about the outcome of this. I also waited until everyone had made their purchases so it wasn’t as if I wasted gold.” Astarion’s head twisted as his eyes narrowed, “You didn’t waste it? We have over a tenday’s travel to get to Baldur’s Gate–oh! Wait! Even longer because we’re headed to the underdark! Even longer!” he threw his hands into the air, “Because now we’re rescuing Duke-fucking-Ravengard in the bloody Moonrise Towers! No, no gold wasted indeed.”

As Astarion shouted his voice broke and he glared at the wizard, “Not like most of you don’t need to eat or anything. Not as though we’re headed into the underbelly of Toril where trade will be far and few. We could have used the money with the druids for food, Gale! Supplies that we are sorely running low on!” He was moving forward toward the wizard until the Vesper stepped in front of him and held up her hands, “It’s done. We’ll figure it out. I’m just surprised we had six hundred gold, to begin with…” Both of her hands rested on the high elf’s chest and he paused his momentum to look down at her before his nostrils flared as he huffed. Astarion looked from the bard to the wizard behind her and shook his head, “Fine. It’s only money after all. Hopefully, there are no palms that need greasing in our near future.” He looked down at the bard, “It was the last of our gold.” Vesper nodded, “Alright, we’ll go through the chest and sell what we have to then. And perhaps we can stop by the owlbear’s cave again. Her claws would be good for spears so they’ll be good to sell and if there’s any whole eggs we can sell those too.”

Vesper gave only the slightest of pushes against Astarion’s chest before he stepped back and turned away. When he walked away she ran her hands over her face, digging her fingers into her eyes before nodding, “It’s alright. We can figure some stuff out, we may just need to double back and see what we can grab that’s worth trading for in that village or sell some of our herbs and other ingredients.” She turned to look at Gale, “We may have to part with those gnoll ears that you worked so hard to get.” The wizard nodded and pursed his lips, “I do think he’ll come through…I perhaps didn’t think pragmatically about the rest of our journey ahead.” He stepped closer and lowered his voice, “I forgot we were to save Wyll’s father.” Vesper matched his expression, wrinkling her nose in a grimace before Karlach exclaimed, “Oh shit…is that a dragon?”

As a red dragon flew over their heads everyone ducked down, it was flying low as if it was searching for something. Karlach led the others up a hill and approached a pale-skinned tiefling who was also watching what was happening down below near two bridges. “That’s the road that would lead directly to Baldur’s Gate, the one Zevlor and his people would have taken,” Wyll whispered and the tiefling whirled around a scimitar in hand as she looked at them before turning and crouching down again, “Shh!” she called to them. Vesper lay on the ground trying to stay as low as possible as she looked over the cliff, she felt a hardened metal brush against her arm and looked at Shadowheart as the cleric sucked in air between her teeth, “Githyanki!”

The bard nodded and looked back to the scene ahead. There were more people in heavy armor and that red and yellow tabard. The Fist, Florrick had called them. “What sort of alien creatures are so friendly with dragons?” asked Astarion as he too joined the drow and half-elf. “Githyanki,” said Gale, “legend says they were gifted dragons from Tiamat herself.” Vesper looked down toward the wizard who jutted his chin out, “It looks as though they’re questioning the Flaming Fists and….” the talk turned into shouting and Vesper gasped as the large red dragon spit a fireball in the direction of the bridge knocking it into the ravine below. They heard Karlach swear from further down the bridge as Wyll whispered, “I hope Zevlor and his people already made it across. It’s a perilous journey over the mountain.”

They were going to get up and leave when another figure came running into view, Vesper grabbed hold of Shadowheart, “It’s our friend from the ship.” Shadowheart’s head turned and she narrowed her eyes, “Looks like she found her people then. We should go, they had no issue killing those humans and elves, they would make light work of us.” The bard turned her head and shook it, “We should help her.” The cleric sighed, “The likelihood of her siding with us is slim, we should go gather what we can and save that owlbear cub if we can.” Shadowheart’s mind was made up and she proved it by crawling backward and doing her best to be quiet as she left the bridge and went down the hill, Wyll looked toward Vesper before he too followed, “She’s with her people, Ves,” he said as he left.

One by one they abandoned their hiding spot until it was only Vesper and Astarion. The high self seemed to be waiting for her to move, and the bard was watching everything unfold, “Vesper, darling we should go…she was on the ship too but she has her own kind to help her.” She felt a weight against her shoulder and looked at Astarion, “Something just doesn’t feel–”

The sound of metal hitting metal made them both turn. “Shit,” the high elf hissed, but the bard was already pushing up and pulling her crossbow from her hip, “What are you doing?! Get down!” Astarion’s shouts alerted the githyanki below and he growled to himself, “Fine. I suppose I could try something a little exotic today.”

Vesper heard him yell to the others as an arrow flew in her direction, she was able to dodge out of the way while completing an incantation on one of the greatsword wielding gith. The sword in the gith’s hands heated quickly until the alien creature swore in its language and dropped it to the ground. From the side she could hear her companions rushing back and joining the fray, Karlach’s war cry was above all of them as she leaped from the bridge and buried her axe into the skull of the archer who was aiming to take a shot at Astarion. The high elf had descended the stone wall they were nearest and turned pulling daggers from behind him. Vesper looked to the one creature she knew, the woman from the nautiloid, and shouted, a quick healing word cast within her shout, out to her. The warrior from the ship rolled to the side to avoid the downward swing of another gith. A golden bolt made the greatsword wielder stumble back, Vesper looked to the side and Shadowheart hefted her shield higher, “Why save her?!”

The bard shook her head, “She didn’t leave us behind, Shadowheart! She didn’t even protest when I went searching for that key…they were going to kill her!” Between them, Gale was weaving his hands through the air and summoning a fireball, “Not now, Shadowheart, you can argue the reasoning when this is finished. For now let’s just make it out of this alive!” When the arcane ball of flame fully formed he pushed forward and the three watched it explode on top of not only the remaining gith but Karlach and Astarion, the high elf flung himself back from the flame. “Though I must admit, I do hope you’re a good judge of characters, Vesper. Githyanki are not known to be the kindest of creatures,” he said as an afterthought and cast a glance below them.

The bard wouldn’t admit it but she wasn’t sure how good her judgement was any longer.

There was only the one gith left now, the one swinging her sword directly at the familiar alien. While the one the party was helping parried, Karlach struck out again but was parried by the foe. Astarion took the opportunity to stab one of his daggers into the less armored area of the gith, his other hand wrapping around her head to grip her chin and pulling her close to sink his teeth into her neck. He was only able to take a drink or two before an elbow cracked into his nose and he stumbled backward. A foreign word was shouted and they watched as the gith that Vesper insisted they protect ran the other through with her own sword. She kicked the body off her blade and lifted it toward Karlach and Astarion. “Wait!” Vesper shouted and began to run, she scurried down a ladder as fast as she could, hissing as the threads of her collar pulled at her shoulders, and ran again. “Wait! Don’t,” she held up her hands as she skidded to a halt in front of her, “please! It’s me, from the ship!”

As she had quickly approached the green skinned woman had lifted her sword higher, prepared to protect herself, but paused in recognition. “The istik…I remember,” her eyes narrowed as she looked back to the tiefling and the vampire, blood coursing down his chin. Vesper’s chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing, “These were your people?” The gith spat on the ground, “This h’sharlak sought to destroy me rather than point me to the nearby creche. You fought well, better than on the ghaik ship even, and you have not turned.” The bard’s head shook, “No, we haven’t.” At the use of ‘we’ the gith’s head tilted and she looked to see, Gale, Wyll, and Shadowheart coming through the gate’s opening. “More from the ship?” she looked back to Vesper who nodded, a hand was now resting on her chest, “All of us are infected. We’ve learned quite a bit…” Karlach held her axe, her hands choked on the shaft, “I’m Karlach, and you are?” “I am Lae’zel of Creche K’liir,” Lae’zel’s head bowed only slightly. “I reported to the Jehstil Kith’rak as it was instructed for me to do, told him I needed to reach a z’aithisk and yet he ordered my destruction.” She bent down and rummaged through the belongings of the fellow gith she had slayed and pulled a disk from her. Holding it up Lae’zel let it spin until she attached it to her hip, “I know the location of the creche. You will follow me and we will be purified.”

Vesper held up her hands, “Wait…there are things we need to do first.” Lae’zel swore at her, or at least that’s what she believed the alien words were meant to be. “I shall go alone then,” the gith said and turned her head toward the one remaining bridge, “Wait.” Vesper reached forward and grabbed Lae’zel’s shoulders before jumping back when the gith stiffened, “It might be dangerous to go alone. Travel with us…what if this creche turns against you as well? These four would have killed you…”

Lae’zel looked around at the bodies on the ground before her shoulders straightened and she held her head high, “Very well, but purification is our highest priority.”

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

Hours later, with the sun setting behind them, the party was closing themselves in the destroyed Selune temple. Though most of the goblins had followed Minthara some had remained behind enjoying the revelry that was still carrying on as though Minthara hadn’t carried most of their forces away and not returned for days. Karlach had encouraged the bard to ritually cast her ‘speak with animals’ enchantment so when the fight broke out, Vesper yelled to the scared owlbear to hide.

The temple’s yard was huge and despite the forces that the drow had brought with her, it seemed like the place was still teeming with goblins. When it seemed like the fight was over another little green creature would hobble out and look at the destruction and then the party before screaming and summoning more. The spell casters exhausted their magic use and Vesper had fallen to a goblin and his smaller, but still two-handed, sword as it sliced into her side from behind. Two eldritch blasts to the chest and the goblin didn’t get the chance to attack her again but she could feel herself bleeding out, “Drink, quickly,” she took the potion that Wyll offered into her shaky hand and turned it up but it would be a minute before she could stand. As the potion worked its magic the warlock’s legs straddled her until she could get back on her feet. The rapier-wielding warlock was quick to warp an arm around the bard, swinging her around while she tried to down another potion, but rather than going into her mouth it slipped from her hand onto the ground.

“Stop,” she pleaded as her eyes crossed, and her stomach felt ill. She had begun the morning feeling similar and did not feel like vomiting all over this ‘battlefield’ as it were. Wyll stopped with a murmured apology and instead shielded her with her own body as she opened a third bottle and drank as quickly as she could. Vesper could feel the effects take hold as her side began to itch and she felt her perception of the world around her steady. As the final opponent, a drunken hobgoblin that had been asleep on the landing above them before all the fighting began, fell Vesper groaned and leaned against the warlock who still stood in front of her. “Are you alright back there? Still bleeding?” he asked, but he didn’t move, he may have been worried about her tumbling over if he removed the stability his back was giving her.

“I’m not sure…” the bard admitted monotonously, “maybe?”

But now they were inside, and the place was eerily quiet. And dark.

Karlach had searched for the owl bear but it was gone. The tiefling was saddened but accepted the course of events, “At least the little thing isn’t being poked and prodded anymore.” A few of the party gave an appreciative hum or grunt but they were looking for a safe place to bed down, Gale cast a light cantrip on his staff, “I think we should go to where I found Astarion and Vesper before. It was hidden far enough back that I don’t think many people knew to look there. Perhaps tomorrow you can show us this outpost you both found?” Vesper nodded and clutched her side, the inner chambers of the temple were silent and devoid of people. Something about it made the hair rise on the back of her neck. She was stumbling her way through the dark when her body collided with another and her arm was wrapped around a back, “Lean on me,” she heard Astarion say and looked up at him before nodding.

It seemed that though they were all exhausted it might have only been her that was so injured. The others lead the way through and once the chilled air of the destroyed chapel rushed over them Vesper’s knees buckled, “Ah-ah,” the vampire beside her said, his arm tucked under her, “just a bit further. Collapse on the bench, dear.”

The bard was forcibly sat on one of the stone benches and practically melted into the seat, it was far from comfortable but everything just ached. She heard a chuckle and expected to see Astarion standing over her, but instead of the blond rogue, it was the warlock who was crouched just before her. He held in his hands an offering of healing potions, “I’m not trying to be rude, but any more bruising and you’ll actually depict your drow heritage.” At Wyll’s words, Vesper haggardly stuck her tongue out at him which earned another laugh, “Drink, Vesper.” She felt his hand clap her knee twice before his weight loomed over her and she felt the revitalizing liquid pour into her mouth.

When it was gone and she could feel the effects instantly she opened her eyes again and watched the warlock back up and stand before he sat down next to her. “I owe you an apology, Wyll,” she said as he opened another small potion and placed the bottle in her hand, she took it and lifted it but turned to look at him, “I spoke without thinking, but you’re absolutely right. Mayrina, that pregnant woman in Ethel’s house, needs to be saved even if it's her own choices that put her there.” Wyll’s mouth was a hard line for a bit before he let his illusory visage fall and she took in the horns and new ridges along his face, when he turned she saw his one brown eye now had the familiar fires of Avernus swirling in them. “I may have reacted more harshly than I intended,” he admitted when he looked in the bard’s direction, “I sometimes wonder where I would be had I not accepted Mizora’s offer. But I did, and I followed every job she gave me until Karlach. I wondered after you stopped me, after sparing Karlach, if there were any others I might have falsely judged. I’d like to think I haven’t killed any innocents on Mizora’s orders but as Shadowheart was so kind to remind me…while I am bound by my pact she is not bound to be honest.”

The warlock sighed heavily, and the bard reached out to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m not sorry that Karlach is with us though…” He grinned as she spoke, “Neither am I, Vesper. I’m happy to travel with the Advocatus Diaboli as I once called her.”

He looked down at the hand that still held the healing potion and tipped it with a closed fist, “Drink up. I’ll advocate for us to rest for the night but I think these will help you just in case they insist on going forward.” Vesper frowned, “I hope we don’t,” she sputtered before tipping back the potion, “we said we’d get Halsin before then and we do need to check our supplies. I don’t know much about what to expect once we’re down there but I know things will be very different.” The warlock nodded and leaned back against the bench his arms resting on either side of the backrest, “We should be safe if you want to rest. I won’t disturb you,” he told the bard and Vesper gave him a smile that he returned.

The quiet didn’t last long, the others climbed up the ladder shortly after descending and Gale was talking about what he’d learned about the underdark from books. They had no bedrolls or blankets as they began to set up a resting area in the center of the chapel, Gale explained that the place they would be sleeping was in fact a puzzle. Karlach, with her strong stomach, returned to Gut’s rooms to destroy a few crates and came back with enough wood for a fire. Sleep wasn’t easily found that night but when they left the shattered temple the next morning the party felt at least half as well as they had before they set out.

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

The deserted village that had been claimed by goblins was now empty and devoid of any of the little creatures and their lack of presence allowed the party to split up to search for goods to trade. Vesper had rested with Shadowheart the night before and still hadn’t found the time to talk to Astarion or figured out the words to explain why she had done what she did. He would be well within his rights to hate her but a part of her didn’t want him to. And now, with each kind gesture he made her guilt just weighed heavier and heavier.

She was inside the blacksmith’s house again, laying out all the tools she had found trying to decide what would get the best offer when he found her. “Vesper,” her head jerked upward and she shuffled to the side, “Astarion?” The rogue crouched down beside her and tilted his head, “Is something wrong? I had thought that you would have been at my side in the chapel last night…”

A purplish hue filled the bard’s cheeks and she looked away, “Of course not,” she answered before clearing her throat. “You reacted so harshly when Karlach outed our evening, I just didn’t think you’d want such a public display…” Deception shouldn’t have been this easy, not with the way her innards twisted.

She picked up a few of the pieces of blacksmithing gear before setting them to the side, she was about to reach for another one when a pale hand reached out and grabbed hers, “Now that they all know I don’t mind. All the easier to show the others that you’re mine,” he leaned closed and paused when she flinched and turned away from him, “darling, your words say that nothing’s wrong and yet your body says something different. Which is it because this is the strangest thing for me?” His chuckle was hollow and Vesper felt his stare burning into the side of her face.

She chanced a glance at him from the corner of her eye and dropped her head, “I need to talk to you.”

Astarion’s head tilted in interest as he pulled his hand back to rest on his knee, “I’m all pointy ears…”

Vesper turned, her leg giving way and making her sit, to look at him before she glanced around at their surroundings. “I’m not sure that this is the appropriate place for this conversation, to be honest…it doesn’t feel…private enough.”

Astarion’s playful smile dropped, and his brow furrowed, “Well if this is a conversation about you wanting to end our trysts it doesn’t matter where we have it. Better to say it now than to hurt the other involved, don’t you agree?” Now her chest ached, was he confessing feelings for her? “It’s…just,” with a heavy sigh she dropped her head, “It’s just that I’m an awful person and I owe you a huge apology and hope you’ll let me explain.”

The spawn’s silence made her glance upward and he raised both brows in her direction, “I’m waiting.”

“I’ve told you a little of my situation prior to the nautiloid,” she started and began glancing around. Telling someone she was sexually intimate with was one thing, but for everyone to hear how her body hadn’t been her own for ten years, to learn of what she had been forced to do, and possibly about the men she’d been made to gratify…she’d likely just go into the woods and piss off whatever predator she could find.

Her inhale was shaky as she looked at the rogue earnestly, “My eldest brother has always had a problem with money, and often when we earned something he lost it in a game of cards. Well one night, ten years ago or so, he lost a game that according to him would have wiped out our debt with a group of people he’d borrowed from. A large,” she shuddered thinking of the amount of gold Octavius had racked up, “very large sum. He lost…and the only thing he had to offer was a little sister who–how did Issac say he put it–was ‘fresher than the first snow.’”

Astarion still said nothing, he was too now getting comfortably into a seated position and Vesper only paused as she heard some of the others calling out about their finds. “I spent ten years with a man who despised me, I could do nothing right for him. He hated the way I meditated and broke me of the habit, at first he hated that other men looked at my body so he starved me but then he later realized he could use me…” her mind drifted for a moment as she recalled the first time Issac had brought someone into that little farmhouse.

“Vesper?” her name being called returned her to her present company and she saw that only one of her pale companion’s brows was raised now. “I would drink a terrible mugwort tea whenever he made me be with those other men, to prevent getting pregnant,” she explained before she looked past Astarion’s crimson gaze, “I didn’t want something permanent of that situation. He would leave for days sometimes weeks and it was the only respite I had until his brothers found out about me, then they would come and demand me to please them.”

She pulled her lip between her teeth and her eyes closed before she shook the thoughts and memories, their voices from her head, “Issac didn’t touch me until two years after he got me. His mother was demanding grandchildren and suddenly I was tied to his bed and kept from the tea I used until I got pregnant.

“After the children were born there were fewer threats of Issac looking for my siblings to make an example and he began to threaten to take the babies from me, to give the girls away to someone who could train them to be better versions of myself. He only cared about my son, but he threatened to beat him too when he was old enough,” she could feel her eyes burning now and closed them tightly, “But then when I was abducted and I was scared that he’d appear around any corner. And then I learned what you were, a vampire.”

She opened her eyes again and looked at Astarion. His brow wasn’t raised anymore, and his head was bowed low as he listened to her story, a dark look in his eyes, “I’m sorry, Astarion I may–no, I did it. I thought if you liked me then you’d maybe protect me if Issac appeared to take me back to that hell. The day the nautiloid came through Baldur’s Gate he left but told me he might come back if he had something to fill a hole.” She choked on the last sentence and went quiet trying to control her breathing.

“So,” started the spawn, “when you said you wanted me to like you…it wasn’t in a romantic sense?” She shook her head, “No. You’re an absolutely beautiful man, Astarion,” she gave him a half smile before looking away, “I just…I didn’t think you’d protect me if I didn’t do what you wanted me to do. You wanted to feed from me so I let you, you wanted me to meet you in the woods, so I did…you wanted my body so I gave it.”

A hollow laugh left her throat, “You know how you said I was the first thinking creature you’d fed from?” He nodded with his brow furrowed, she continued, “You were the first man I made the choice to have sex with. And for all the wrong reasons. So, I’ll understand if you hate me. I’ll never speak to you again on this journey if you’d prefer…you can be as mean as you want to be and I’ll tell the others that I deserve it because I truly believe I do. But you needed to know after you told me about Cazador and how he tortured you…I couldn’t keep up my act. I have felt so guilty since yesterday morning and it’s been eating at me.”

Astarion leaned close to her, his face inches from hers, and for once she didn’t pull away. She felt his fingers lift her chin and she opened her eyes to meet his again, watching as his eyes bounced from one of hers to the other, and did her best to keep her lips from trembling. Then he leaned back and stood before turning to walk away from her and out of the building.

The bard watched him go and her shoulders slumped. He hadn’t told her what he decided to do but she reminded herself that she didn’t deserve an answer after how she’d treated him as less than a person in her own eyes. She dug the palms of her hands into her eyes and looked back at the tools in front of her before grabbing the ones she had placed aside before and abandoning the task to go searching the blacksmith’s basement.

#the caged bard #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #bg3 #tcb: vesper #astarion/tav #astarion/halsin/tav coming later #halsin/tav later #astarion/halsin later #tav's story

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rebeltombraider · 1 year ago

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Teaser of a WIP that might be posted?

Hi all! Sort of putting a feeler out for this story to see if there's any interest for something like this on Tumblr, so... here it is!

Main Pairings if so: Wanda x Natasha, Pietro x Darcy, and very far in the future... Kate Bishop x Unnamed!Maximoff (possibly Reader PoV, possibly OC, not sure and still on the fence here)

Rating: T for Teen (Language, Combat, etc). Might go into M (Mature) territory later for hints of behind the scenes stuff with WandaNat and all that, but will be a firm T rating for now!

(2013)

Wolfgang von Strucker swore to Wanda Maximoff that the program would help the Maximoff family, but she never expected anything like this.

This being a mirror image of herself as a small child.

“Physically eight years old and a perfect genetic clone. We were able to successfully imprint most of the basics a child must learn by this age, but not all. I figured you would prefer to teach her yourself from here on out.” He said to her as they stood on the other side of a one-way glass.

Pietro’s jaw dropped open in shock, though Wanda simply lifted her hand and placed it on the cold glass, “Does she know where she is? That I am her mother?”

“We have shown her images of yourself and Pietro, so she will recognize her mother and uncle on sight.” Strucker nodded slowly, then winced as if disappointed in himself or the others who had helped with the project, “We are not able to imprint any memories to encourage certain emotional growth, however. So while she may physically be an exact copy of you, she is still an entirely different person in her own right.”

“She will be placed with me in my room?” Wanda asked, tilting her head in thought of rearranging her own cot in the small room to make room for a second one.

Strucker smiled and shook his head, “No. All three of you shall be moved slightly further from the labs where there will be a larger section to hold all three of you comfortably. It will only have two rooms connected so two must share a room, but it has much more space than either of you have had so far. I have been promoted to reigning Baron of this facility, so better accommodations for my volunteers are a must.”

“Congratulations, Baron Strucker.” Pietro bowed his head, finally feeling his own voice returning to his control, “Speaking of volunteers, how are the others?”

“Ahh, I am afraid the majority have returned home. Some have been filtered out due to previously unknown medical conditions that could cause complications, and some simply could not hold their fortitude in the face of such changes.”

“How many are left?”

“Two. Sadly, you and your sister are all that remain.” Strucker drawled in false pity. ‘No reason for them to know the truth.’

The child on the other side of the glass suddenly lifted her gaze from a TV that she had been sat in front of, and stared directly at where the three adults were as if she could actually see them. She then stood and made her way over to the glass and tapped her index finger on it to a rhythm. One that mimicked the one that Wanda had been silently doing.

“Well, now... that’s new.” Strucker muttered, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

Pietro tore his gaze away from where Wanda and the child were tapping to the same rhythm at the same time, even in the same spot on the glass. Looking over at Strucker, he adjusted his stance to pull the other man’s attention, “When will we be fully introduced? Moved into the new rooms?”

“Normally it would take a few days of paperwork,” Strucker raised a hand to halt Pietro’s complaint before he could even begin, “but I have been working on this for a week or so, now. The three of you can both meet, and move, today.”

Wanda smiled at her daughter on the other side of the glass as both of their eyes gained a slight red smoke to them that vanished a few seconds after it appeared, “She and I have already spoken.” Turning her head to glance at Strucker for a moment, Wanda narrowed her eyes just slightly in suspicion, though looked back at the smaller figure in front of her, “She has informed me that you have already planned to approach me about her joining in on the tests as well, and how she had interrupted you to share her own wish to join the tests if Pietro and I continue to do so.”

Clearing his throat lightly at the hidden threat, Strucker nodded once, “Only with your permission, of course. From the testing we have already done to check on you and your brother’s medical state, you are both cleared for official testing. If it is your desire, I shall deny your daughter the chance to do the same.”

A deep sigh from Wanda relaxed Strucker’s tensed form, “No... it is truly something she wants to do, and I will not take that from her.” With her child now walking away from the glass and towards two guards who entered the room to lead her to the new living quarters, Wanda turned to Strucker completely, “It seems you will have three volunteers for Sokovia.” Her eyes flared just slightly once more with the scarlet red, dissipating just as quickly as it had begun, “I’m sure that you will take care when including my daughter in these tests.”

The cold chill that breezed through the room seemed to affect only him, and Strucker couldn’t control the small shiver of fear down his spine. Acting unaffected by the Maximoff twin’s sharp gazes, and the unnerving feeling in the air that had him wanting to flee, Strucker nodded once and gave his best smile, “Of course! We always take the utmost care and will continue to do so. You have my word.” Gesturing towards the door leading from the room, he continued, “I can only imagine that our newest Maximoff is waiting in your new quarters, ready to finally meet her mother and uncle face to face. Shall we?”

With that, the twins quietly followed Strucker out of the room.

What no one knew is that the idea of the creation for his favored test subject was strangely formed after bumping into a mysterious Monk woman during one of his forays to meet with an allied faction in Russia.

No one also knew just how much things would change due to this.

Well, almost no one.

#wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff #mom!wanda maximoff #future mom!natasha romanoff #just a lil something my brain has been clinging to... so decided to see about possibly sharing #sharing this should not be as terrifying as it is but here we are!#kate bishop x female maximoff (not sure if Reader or OC yet)

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talesofourworlds · 1 year ago

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To think, the world would change so much in such a short time.

Auldrant was free from the Score. Lorelei was free. Replicas were being integrated into society, and it seemed a time of peace was set to reign over Auldrant proper with King Ingobert and Emperor Peony at the helm. If he were asked back before the final battle on Eldrant, Jade might have said he would have a hard time imagining it. He was grateful he got to be a part of it.

All was not peaches and rainbows, though. While replicas had started to become integrated into Auldrant society, the originals were another matter entirely. Human nature was an inescapable inevitability. The originals still looked upon replicas with disdain, choosing to view them as lesser somehow despite Jade's efforts. The replicas, on the other hand, seemed to be thriving and learning more about themselves with each day. Jade, too, continued to do what he could to raise their status. There was no reason for replicas and originals to be on uneven footing. They were no different. Jade had seen it himself through Luke.

Luke...

All of this, all of what Jade was working toward, was partly inspired by Luke's existence. Luke had been proof that replicas could be more than a mere substitute. Jade had seen with his own two eyes how far Luke had ended up coming. He'd grown, matured, and become human in his own right. Replicas were more than capable of that kind of growth. Just the same as human beings.

Knowing what replicas were capable of achieving just made it all the more frustrating on days like this. As the Father of Fomicry, and the one heading the efforts to raise replicas to an equal status with the originals, it fell to him to handle replica and original relations. With every day that passed, though, Jade found his patience wearing thin. Fights kept breaking out between replicas and the originals. The originals also deliberately were trying to keep replicas from obtaining jobs. In worse cases, it went as far as the originals doing all they could to keep replicas from obtaining housing. Or even something as simple and necessary as food.

Today was one such day where Jade was having to deal with such things. He stood, listening as a group of originals yelled and demanded that he do something about the 'damned replicas.' The replicas in question had just been trying to help with construction. They'd proven they were capable.

Jade's patience was thinning.

"Please! We just want to be able to earn our keep!"

Thinning...

"A keep that you don't deserve to earn! Tell them they don't belong here! We don't need their help!"

Thinning...

"We have just as much a right to be here as you originals! Please, let us work alongside you!"

"Like hell we will!"

Snap.

"That's enough!" Jade's voice rose above the crowd, anger and frustration mounting more than he would have ever let show otherwise. When silence fell, he did his best to collect himself. He adjusted his glasses and turned his attention to the gathered people.

"You're being unreasonable," Jade said at length, voice firm as he fixed his once crimson eyes on the originals in question. "You'll find that the job is liable to be completed much faster with their aid. All you'll gain by hindering the hiring process is a much slower task. They aren't going to harm anything by helping. So let them do what I assume you're going to pay them for. And if I find you aren't, you'll be answering to me personally."

The glare Jade fixed them with seemed to have done the trick, if the discontented murmurs were anything to go by. He also heard grateful ones from the replicas. Of course, Jade was met with his own glares. He could understand why the originals were acting the way they were, at least to a degree. That didn't mean he had to like it.

"Fine," the man who seemed to be leader of the originals said. "Come on. Let's get back to work, boys." That would have been the end of it, Jade assumed, had he not stayed to listen as the crowd of originals and replicas continued on their way. Some of the originals deliberately hung back, still shooting dirty looks his way.

"I can't believe you'd turn your back on us like this," one man said. "I mean, we're not fakes like them. We were here first."

"That's right," another man echoed. "I can't believe you're choosing to support those damned replicas over us!" And that was the end of that. The remaining men went to join the rest of the workers and the newly hired replicas. Another tension filled issue settled. But at what cost?

This was but one of many things he dealt with in Grand Chokmah. By then, Jade was used to it. If the way his fist clenched was any indication, though, the Colonel seemed to be reaching his limit. He closed his eyes, took a moment to take a calming breath, and...

His fist found its way to colliding with the wall nearest him. Not enough force was applied to damage anything severely, but he still felt the pain shoot through his hand. The most Jade did was grit his teeth.

Then he heard footsteps from nearby. Another group come to him to deal with their issues, he imagined. He didn't bother to look their way.

"What?" Jade couldn't hide the frustration in his voice any longer. "What problems have you come to me with now?"

#ic #Always One Step Ahead (Jade)#A New Day Dawns #open starter #This got longer than I intended oops #I was inspired so um #Here's a post Abyss canon thing #Jade 🤝 Dohalim dealing with relations between two groups

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galene-gothic · 3 years ago

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Your future spouse's first impression of you

PAID SERVICES

Pile 1

tw: mentions of substance abuse, sex, suicide, mature themes, etc.

Cards: the ten of swords (reversed), the ace of cups (reversed), the devil, the knight of pentacles (reversed), justice (reversed), the five of cups.

They might think that you struggle with moving on from the past. They'll think that new chances are coming in for you and finally you've gotten rid of something that wasn't serving you (might be someone too.) They will likely think that external influences like others' opinions regarding you tend to affect your creativity and pride. They'll think that you seem to question your self worth a lot. They'll also be able to see that even if your passion for something is burried for a while, it'll be back to the surface soon and will think that you aren't the type to give up. I'm sorry but they might think that you lack confidence for some reason. I feel like some of you here might be addicted to something that might be harmful on the long-term, can be weed, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sex or maybe even some other human being and might be recovering when you meet them. They might have heard about you either having some sort of addiction or a toxic relationship with a really bad end. They will see that you are working towards material gains when you meet them. "I can't find anything to dream about, I can't find anywhere to hide" that might be the energy that you might be in when you meet them, confused and just going with the flow. Some of you will meet them during summer. They'll be able to see that you feel trapped and it makes sense if you've just gotten rid of something or someone. They'll also be able to see that your routine at that time will be leaving you with little to no time with yourself. They might think that you're a very rigid person and also a perfectionist. Some of you might have had a run-in with cops or gotten bailed recently or something. They will think that you struggle with taking responsibility for the actions that you take. I wouldn't be surprised if they met you at jail, police station, rehabilitation centre or something. They'll also see that you're overly critical of yourself. There's a chance that some of you might have tried to commit suicide but got saved and when you were asked why you tried to do so, you either blamed yourself or just went "um just... Felt like it." They'll see that your positivity has been completely demolished. You might meet this person after a break up or someone's death too! Please keep in mind that this is their first impression of you and you might be nothing like how they perceive you to be.

Pile 2

Cards: the lovers (reversed), the seven of swords, the five of swords, the nine of wands, the seven of wands, the two of cups.

I feel like you might be a naturally detached person or they'll see you to be so. They might think that you either do not talk much to others or you don't express much about yourself/express yourself very strategically, like they might think that you let people know only the things that you want them to know. They are going to see a lot of potential in you. They might know about someone sneaky around you. They will see that you lack quality connections around you, your relationships whether platonic or romantic might be very fun and even deep for you but the people you're involved with might not see you accurately, so they'll feel like how misunderstood you are is hindering your growth. Your friends at that time might be the type to gossip and spread negative rumours about others without thinking about the consequences or others' emotions while lacking awareness of themselves and also others around them. They might think that you have a very 'win at all costs' mindset. They will think that you've just gotten out of some sort of competition, might be after a loss and are resting at that time. They might also think that you're kind of being tested by the universe, like they might not think that consciously but it's just going to seem kinda evident that you're growing and will come out stronger. They will also think that you are very courageous and persistent. You might struggle with procrastination or lack of discipline when you meet them. They'll think that you are good at enduring stuff and have a very tolerant personality. I'm getting you carrying yourself like nothing can hurt you. They're going to think that you stand up to injustice in a very aggressive manner. Someone here has a leo stellium or mercury. They'll think that you are very decisive and cut throat. However, they'll also think that you're very loyal and believe in equal sharing of energy. I feel like once they talk to you, they'll realize that you value your own and other people's experiences and learn from them. It might be love at first conversation for some of you. Someone here might have prominent cancer/libra placements too. Please keep in mind that this is their first impression of you and you might be nothing like how they perceive you to be.

Pile 3

Cards: the four of wands, the eight of pentacles (reversed), the two of wands (reversed), the five of pentacles, the ten of pentacles (reversed), the queen of swords.

You might meet them during a homecoming to your friends or through family friends or something like that. For some of you, it might be someone from your childhood or teenage years. I'm getting them finding you really familiar and homely. They'll be able to see that you have a particular skill that you've almost completely mastered. However, they can also see that you don't know how to make plans or execute them properly in order to showcase your skills. They can also see that things outside of your control tend to negatively affect the outcome of your projects. They might think that in the past you had planned your future on unstable assumptions. They might also think that you used to be indecisive in the past. I wouldn't be surprised if this person has known you for a long time but since they've known you for a long time, the first impression that they had of you isn't very strong so I'm being brought to this impression instead. You might be struggling financially or in your work life when you meet this person. You might be really stressed, worried and anxious when you meet this person. You might end up having a one-on-one talk with them, if you do meet in a social event, they're going to realise that your family isn't treating you well due to how things fell apart in your work life and they'll also be able to see how insecure you're feeling, even if you do not end up talking to them one-on-one they'll still be able to pick it up. They're going to find you really intriguing and admirable, even though, your financial situation has completely fallen apart, you will still demand respect from others, you'll still continue thinking independently and state it out clearly and directly without any fear or shame. They'll also be able to see how mentally clear and headstrong you are. You might be trying to be as organised as you can when you meet them. Please keep in mind that this is their first impression of you and you might be nothing like how they perceive you to be.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜

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stayxlix · 2 years ago

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off the deep end. (03)

~(part three) the promise of something more ~

pairing: rebel!felix x reader (f)

genre: non-idol au, post-apocalypse/dystopian au. wc: 9.6k

series rating: 18+ **minors do not interact**

chapter warnings: violent mature themes, explicit mention of murder/execution, death, oppressive government, fighting, weaponry (gun/knife use), injury, blood, vomiting, angst angst angst, parental neglect/abuse, language, please lmk if i missed any!

~series masterlist~

"if a star fell, you might be tempted to pick it up. to let it seep into your veins and intertwine with your soul. but without the stars darkness would take over the sky. just remember that if you take it, you'll have to give it back someday, and it will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do."

Felix knew he was going to regret it at some point. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed you again. But he was selfish and he just couldn’t help himself.

When he ran into Chan on the way to the tavern, he was able to piece together what had happened moments earlier just from the expression on the older boy's face.

Of course, he didn’t fully believe it until he'd laid his eyes on the pages that Chan had practically thrown into his hands, but it was all there. You had found, no, you were the missing piece that they needed to get into Miroh. And when his eyes fell to the final page with the information about the blood lock, Felix felt something tug at him, deep within his chest. A feeling so insignificant that it was barely even worth acknowledging at all.

As if one small achievement proved that you could be trusted.

Yeah, right.

Still, how ironic it was that the very reason he hated you, the blood that ran through your veins, was the very thing they needed to find what they had been chasing for so long.

Before he'd met Chan and the others, Felix had never known what it meant to be cared for. He didn’t have any clue how to care for someone in return, and he certainly didn’t know how to love someone. Maybe he never would. Not fully, anyway. Not in the way you’re supposed to.

Despite that, watching over the seven of them, worrying about their safety…It was more than enough to keep him awake at night.

Adding your name to the list would be something else entirely, because for the first time in his life Felix felt the potential to care for someone in a way that he didn’t even know he was capable of. Which is why he'd come to the conclusion the night he pressed his knife against your throat that he would never allow himself to entertain those feelings into anything more than just a potential.

Simple as that.

He built a barrier around himself, and there was nothing in this world you could do to break it down. Even helping them gain access to whatever lie inside Miroh, by means of your own blood, wouldn’t change his mind. No matter how many times you proved yourself to them.

No matter how peaceful you looked lying on the tavern floor in such a deep sleep. Your chest gently rising and falling with every breath, Felix would not let his defenses fall.

Maybe he shouldn’t have come.

Maybe he should have turned and gone back with Chan.

But Chan would’ve asked him about the fresh bruises on his face, even though he already knew where they’d come from. Felix didn’t want to talk about it again. You were the lesser of two evils. Nothing more.

And when he pressed his lips to yours, well. That was only to distract himself from what had happened earlier. He was selfish, after all.

Nothing more.

His defenses stood strong.

Whatever restraint you had left escaped your body the moment Felix crashed his lips against yours. He took the air from your lungs and you didn’t care to ask for it back. Nothing else mattered, only the boy that you couldn't have and your growing desire for him.

As the kiss deepened into a mess of tongues and clashing teeth, he moved his wandering hands around to grab at your ass. A moan escaped your lips when he tightened his grip. He breathed it in, breathed you in, breaking only momentarily for both of you to catch your breath.

His swollen lips glistened with your saliva, as if you'd claimed them as your own. He panted, his breath hot against you, as his eyes hungrily raked up and down your body like he hadn't eaten in months, and you'd been made just for him to devour.

Before tonight, you'd nearly convinced yourself that you only needed to give in to the temptation once more. Just one more meaningless kiss and you would be free to put all of your focus where it should have been from the start. On helping Chan take down your father, without any further concern for Felix. The boy who had made it very clear that he didn't want anything to do with you.

Unless it involved your lips pressed against his, apparently.

Just one more taste and you would be able to get it out of your system. Whatever it was. Lust. Chemical attraction. Desire for physical touch, maybe. But were you really this desperate for some small display of affection?

No. You had never been like this before.

Were you unable to resist because it was Felix out of all people to be the one giving it to you? Sure, he was attractive, you'd give him that. And the way he'd developed a habit of lowering his voice even further whenever he was speaking only to you may have sent you spiraling just a little. But you had never been so quick to discard all sense of self control.

Was it because you were certain nobody would ever be able to kiss you the way he did? Because you craved his hands on your body like they were destined to be there?

There was a small chance.

And you were way beyond the point of just needing to get it out of your system the moment you replaced your hold at the back of his neck, pulling him down into another sloppy kiss. Your hands found their way underneath his shirt again, tugging at the useless material, urging him to remove it.

Just as he went to comply, a soft knock echoed through the room. He drew back and raised an eyebrow as if he was asking if you’d heard it too.

The knocking repeated after a moment, a little louder this time, and your eyes fell to the small area in the floor across the room as it began to lift up.

Felix promptly turned around, pushing you behind him.

You put your hands on his back to ground yourself, in an attempt to calm your racing heart, and his posture straightened at your touch.

"Felix they’re patrolling tonight, you know the deal. I’m sorry kid but you need to leave," it was the bartender from below, you recognized his voice.

"And take your friend with you," he added.

You cringed at the mention of yourself, and you couldn't help but wonder if you were the first "friend" Felix had brought here.

Felix gave him a silent nod and the hatch closed with a thud, locking into place from somewhere below. He let out a deep sigh and brought his hand up to rub his temple. "We need to get out of here."

You didn’t have to ask him why. Your fathers guards would frequently patrol the districts closest to the Inner Circle to ensure that everything was as it should be. In other words, they would go out hunting for anyone that might be suspected of conspiring against your father. Rebels, like Felix and Chan, and just because your father was out of the palace on some top secret mission didn’t mean that usual business stopped.

He was right, you did need to get out of there. If they came across Felix they probably wouldn’t have recognized him, thanks to the thick smoke and the bandana he had been wearing the night of the raid, but it wasn't worth the risk. That and you certainly couldn’t take the chance that one of them might catch sight of him with you.

"Wait-" you stepped around him and untied the signature bandana from his arm, handing it out to him. He grabbed it from you and shoved it into his pocket.

"Thanks," he rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze as if there was something incredibly interesting in the empty space across the room.

You had been so wrapped up in the kiss that you weren’t really thinking of having to interact with him after…Not to mention the fact that in that moment you were more than willing to let it go further than just a kiss.

The realization of what could have happened, what was quite literally seconds away from happening if you hadn’t been interrupted, made your cheeks burn as you turned toward the entrance.

Felix was first to jump out and you followed closely behind. When your feet hit the hood of the car you stumbled back into his chest. His hands dropped to your waist to keep you steady but he quickly removed them, replacing the panel over the entrance without a word. Once again, the tavern blended in with the buildings that surrounded it on either side.

You hopped down and took a step in the direction of the alley, ready to get out of there and clear your head, but Felix stopped you. "What are you doing?"

"I’m leaving?" you shot him a puzzled look.

"Back to the palace? You heard him, they could be here any minute and the route that you normally take is going to be swarming with them tonight. They’ll be tracing the streets back and forth for hours."

"Then I’ll just go a different way," you shrugged and went to take another step but he blocked your way by moving in front of you and bringing both of his hands up to your shoulders.

"You really don’t understand how things work out here, princess. This isn’t District nine, you can’t just wander around by yourself. There are areas that you need to stay away from."

Was he actually expressing some sort of concern for your safety?

He must have realized it seemed that way.

"Look, it's none of my business if you want to go and get yourself killed, and if the circumstances were different, I would've let you leave already. But it changes things now that we need you to get into Miroh. Don’t be stupid y/n-"

There it was. Of course he would blame his worry on the fact that they needed you alive.

"I’ll be fine, Felix. Thanks for the concern," you scoffed and rolled your eyes but he didn’t let you go, so you dramatically turned your head around to face him again. "What exactly do you expect me to do?"

His eyes narrowed and you realized that you liked the way his face changed when he was contemplating something. The way his nose scrunched, his tongue running along the inside of his cheek.

"Come with me."

You blinked at him. You weren't exactly pleased with how you'd been interrupted earlier but if he was just trying to get you alone again now certainly wasn’t the time. "You do realize that if I don't make it back to the palace before morning I might as well die out here, because if they find out what I've been doing I will never be able to leave again..And if that happens you can be the one to tell Chan that you won't be getting into Miroh."

"Just…trust me," he dropped his hands from your shoulders and held out the one without the cloth wrapped around it.

All you had been asking of Felix since you found him again was for him to trust you, and now he had somehow pinned it back on you. As if you hadn’t done enough of it already.

"You’re absolutely sure I’ll be back before dawn?"

"Promise."

You thought about refusing his offer and in hindsight, you probably should have. You had been training to fight your entire life and could take care of yourself just fine, but who were you to deny him anything when he looked at you with stars in his eyes.

You reached for his hand.

Felix led you further from the palace than you had ever been, in the opposite direction that you needed to go to get back. You went along because you wanted to prove to him that you trusted him, despite your growing apprehension as the streets lined with lanterns in District 7 faded into nothing. The only thing that kept you from completely freaking out was the constant reminder that he needed you alive to get into Miroh.

You glanced at him periodically out of the corner of your eye, trying not to let your gaze linger on his face for too long. You were desperate to know who had caused the bruising and why, but the tension in the air kept you from speaking. Not that you would have dared to ask him about it anyway.

It only reaffirmed what he had said before, that you really didn't know anything about him or the life he lived. Who knows what kind of people he associated with or what activities he got himself involved in when he wasn't with Chan and the others. Just as he’d said earlier, it wasn't your business if he wanted to go and get himself killed. It’s not like it actually mattered to you.

You were just curious by nature. After all, your curiosity was also to blame for the fact that you were currently wandering around in the darkness with absolutely no idea where you were going, blindly following a boy who had both threatened to kill you and had his tongue shoved down your throat all within the span of 72 hours.

Nice, y/n.

You tore your eyes from him. Squinting into the darkness, you were just barely able to make out the outline of a small forest in front of you as it became closer with every step. Felix pulled out his knife and kept his eyes forward as you approached it. You held onto to him a little tighter than you’d like to admit when you stepped underneath the trees.

The ground beneath your feet loosely resembled a path that you were almost certain someone wouldn't have been able to follow unless they'd taken it multiple times before. You squeezed your eyes shut, tuning your ears into your surroundings and allowing Felix to guide you through the shadows.

When you opened them again, you were standing at the base of what was easily the steepest hill you had ever seen. You shot him a sideways glance and he let out a soft "come on", leaving you no choice but to follow him up the hill.

Your frustration at the current situation, at the entire night, grew more and more with every exhausting step that you took. Just as you were preparing to officially lose it on him, you stepped out from beneath the trees into a clearing at the top of the hill.

Finally.

A large building sat at the top, and it would have been impossible to miss the way Felix let his entire body relax at the sight of it. Instead of of wood like the tavern, this building was made of some material unfamiliar to you.

It towered five or six stories above you. Moss weaved in between cracks and shattered windows that lay dispersed across the surface. The sign above the double doors was long gone, but you could make out the words from the imprint that the letters had left behind.

Yellow Wood Hotel.

Above the sign was a particularly large set of windows with intricate trim. The building itself was elegant and had probably been worth admiring a long time ago. But now, just like everything else that had been left behind, it was more haunting than anything.

"Where the hell-"

"We crossed the border into District six a mile or so back. This is," he cleared his throat, "this is our home."

The last word came out like it didn’t belong in his mouth. Like he'd said it, but didn’t really know what it meant.

"This is where Chan and I, and the others, spend most of our time. Everything we have to our names, its all in there. The guards don’t usually come out here. They patrol Districts seven and eight and on most nights they steer clear of anything beyond. That’s not to say they never have before, but even when they do come out this far we can see them coming. The view from the roof is-"

"The others aren’t inside there right now, right?" you stopped listening after he just so casually mentioned that this is where they all lived.

"Well…Yeah. Like I said, this is kind of their home, y/n. So probably."

"I can’t go in there if they’re all here! Are you crazy?"

"You’re going to have to meet them eventually if you’re coming with us to Miroh-"

"Felix, I can’t do this right now!" you threw your hands up.

"Maybe if you weren’t so tightly wound," he turned and mumbled out something else under his breath that you didn't quite catch.

"I’m the one who’s wound tight?! Have you even met yourself?! I knew this was a mistake. Not to mention the fact that we are way beyond the point of getting back to District nine before morning."

Felix let out an aggravated sigh and stepped away from you. He walked the length of the building and disappeared around the corner, once again leaving you with no choice but to follow. When you caught up, he was standing in front of a tarp covering an indiscernible object propped against the side of the building.

He tore off the tarp to reveal a motorbike underneath.

It seemed to be in decent condition, maybe in even better shape than the few in your fathers possession. How Felix had come to acquire one of his own was just another question to be added to the growing list that you had for him. Right alongside the question of how they had gotten ahold of one of your fathers military vehicles the night of the raid.

"I promised I would get you back in time and I will. I never said it would be on foot. There's still plenty of time, I’ll stay away from where they patrol and even if we ran across trouble outside of your fathers army, nobody would be able to keep up with this."

He patted the seat of the bike and gestured toward to the building in front of you. "We don’t even have to go inside, so just relax."

You hadn’t come across a single vehicle throughout your time exploring the districts that didn’t belong to your father. Although it was always a possibility that somewhere out there someone might have stumbled upon one that had been forgotten or missed by his army, a working vehicle was certainly a rare thing to possess.

"How..How did you even get this?"

His lips parted but before he had the chance to respond, sharp laughter cut through the silence. It rang out from the somewhere in the direction of the back of the building, followed by a number of voices.

Seven voices, to be exact.

One of which you recognized as Chan’s. You didn’t need to recognize the others to know who they belonged to.

It suddenly became much easier to go back to hating Felix. Like actually hating him for bringing you here without warning you what you were getting into. Even if it was partly your fault for not being able to say no to him...That wasn't the point.

The voices became louder and you moved to shield yourself behind him when the first of them appeared around the corner, carrying a bundle of chopped wood in his arms.

"Yeah that’s because Seungmin can’t aim a gun to save his life-oh, hey Felix. What the hell happened to your face?!"

The stranger stopped in his tracks, his mouth dropping when you made eye contact with him from where you stood behind Felix.

"I didn’t hear you complaining about my aim while I was saving your ass last mon-" the second boy that came around the corner crashed right into the first, the pieces of wood that he had been holding in his own arms scattered across the ground when they collided, "-th. Jisung what are you doing?"

A similar expression washed over the second boy’s face when you shifted your gaze to him.

As the remaining five boys came around the corner you grabbed at the back of Felix’s leather jacket, crumpling the material in your hand. You searched for Chan and felt a small sense of relief wash over you when your eyes met. He raised his eyebrows and glanced between you and Felix before shifting to the front of the group.

"What are you doing here?" of course, what he really meant to ask was what Felix was doing here with you.

"They’re patrolling tonight. We needed to get out of there before someone saw her."

Sure. As if this was your idea.

Chan turned to the group.

"Jeongin, Minho go keep watch on the roof. If you see anyone coming you know what to do."

One of the boys in the back with sharp features resembling that of a fox whispered something to the boy standing next to him who nodded in response. The two stepped forward.

The younger boy made great effort to avoid your eyes as they passed by, however the second took it upon himself to glare at you with the coldest expression you had ever received in your life.

If you thought Felix was intimidating, you had been sorely mistaken.

You tugged on his jacket.

"Did you tell them?" Felix looked to Chan and you took note of the journal in his hand. The missing pages you'd brought to him earlier tonight were sticking out at odd angles.

"Shit is that her?" the first boy who had came around the corner, Jisung apparently, blurted out.

"I told them enough," Chan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Clearly he hadn't been expecting to have to introduce you to them tonight, after the two of you had parted ways earlier.

"Guys, this is y/n. Like I said, she’s the reason we have this," he lifted the journal, "and she’s going to get us into Miroh."

You gulped and Felix reached around to pull you out from behind him (despite your resistance) as the others came closer.

"Nice. y/n, I’m Jisung."

Jisung exuded confidence as he held out his hand to you. He had a bandana of his own wrapped around his forehead and a short piece of metal in his eyebrow that glinted in the moonlight. When he smiled at you, his mouth took the shape of a heart. His introduction was by far the friendliest and his aura was incredibly inviting.

You reached out your own shaking hand to him.

"Dude what did you do to her? She’s terrified," he laughed, a sound that filled you with butterflies, and looked to Felix.

"Wha-I didn’t do anything! She’s just like that.." Felix huffed out, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Probably all those years stuck inside the palace. The stuffy air will get to your head," another boy walked up to stand beside Jisung and you recognized him right away as the one with the stockier build that had accompanied Chan to your fathers study the night of the raid.

"Changbin," he introduced himself. But he didn’t reach for your hand, opting for a single wave instead.

Chan informed you that the two who had left to keep watch were Jeongin (the youngest) and Minho. The boy who had collided with Jisung earlier introduced himself as Seungmin. He also took it upon himself to introduce Hyunjin who stood next to him.

Hyunjin was arguably one of the most attractive human beings you had ever laid your eyes on. To be fair, they all were. But Hyunjin exuded something alluring that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. He seemed unsure about you as he contemplated the situation without a word, and you got the feeling he did that a lot. His eyes traced back and forth between you and Felix like he already knew there was something to be deciphered between the two of you.

It took a moment for you to register that the other boys' accents didn't match that of Chan or Felix. Your chest tightened when you realized how far outside the Inner Circle the two of them must have come from, and you wondered what had their lives been like before they found the others.

With a bit more understanding of why he was the way he was, your expression softened when you snuck a glance at Felix. Even if he hadn't met the others until later in his life, you hoped that he'd always had Chan.

"Are you staying?! You should come inside-"

It was Jisung who broke the silence. Taking your wrist, he began to pull you toward the front of the building. You looked back across your shoulder at Felix with wide eyes.

"Earlier this month Seungmin and I came across a total jackpot inside this abandoned shack, I’m talking like six bottles of brown liquor and Chan was just going to finish telling us about you-"

"She’s not staying. Im taking her back to the palace," Felix grumbled, coming up behind you. He wrapped a hand around your other wrist and tore you from Jisung’s grasp.

"He’s right," Chan stepped forward, "we still have a lot to talk about and she needs to get back before morning, but actually y/n I’m glad you’re here. There’s just one more thing I need to ask from you."

Chan went on to tell you that he and the others had come up with a plan. It was a tentative plan, albeit a bit crazy.

The group, yourself included, would need supplies for the journey to Miroh and inside the palace you had easy access to all the food, water, fuel, and weapons that anyone could ever need.

"I can get supplies that’s not a problem, we just don’t have much time before my father returns."

"You don’t have to bring the supplies to us y/n. No offense but we’ll need more than you can carry. You just have to get everything outside of the palace and we’ll come take care of the rest."

"You’ll come to get them? To the palace?"

"We still have the rover," he pointed to the back of the building where you assumed they must be keeping it.

"It blends in with the others. If you open the palace gates and tell us where to meet you, we can be in and out of there before any of them suspect a thing. And this time, you’ll be coming with us. For good."

"What about the guns from the raid? Don't you still have them?"

"They're gone. We..had to repay a favor.." Chan let his voice trail off and you opted not to inquire any further, although you wondered what kind of favor would come at the price of eight firearms.

The plan was risky, but less so with your father and a number of guards out of the palace. If you could assemble the supplies near the entrance to the tunnels they could drive up and load the vehicle with everything you'd need for the trip.

It made sense why they were willing to risk it. Weapons would mean the difference between life and death in the outer districts and you couldn’t exactly carry them (on top of everything else you needed) by yourself in time before your father returned.

"I don’t know..." Felix pressed his lips together in a thin line.

"I’ve gone over this a hundred times in my head tonight alone, and we all agree," Chan responded.

"We’ll need to be quick. Like within minutes." You couldn't stress that enough. "Before someone realizes the rover doesn’t belong."

"We’ll make it work. We always do," Seungmin chimed in, Changbin and Jisung nodding beside him.

Hyunjin remained silent, staring daggers at Felix.

"How much do we need?" you looked to Chan.

"As much as you can get your hands on without anyone noticing," he put a hand on your shoulder," I know its a lot to ask."

"No, the journal was a lot to ask and look where we are now. This I know I can do," you assured him, despite the hesitation that you could still feel radiating from where Felix stood.

"Tomorrow night. Leave the gates open and we’ll be there at midnight tomorrow. Make sure to bring any belongings for yourself, too," Chan opened the journal and pulled out the loose pages, "you should put these back where you found them. By now your father knows that someone out here has this journal but we need to delay him finding out that we know about what’s on these pages for as long as we can."

He was right. Even if you were missing from the palace, as long as your father didn't know that the final pages of the journal had ever left their spot underneath his desk, he would likely think that you had just run away. Or that you had been kidnapped for some kind of ransom. Either way, he would never suspect that you had willingly gone with a group of rebels to break into Miroh. As far as he knew, you still had no idea what the world outside was really like, or that a place like Miroh even existed.

"Get her back safe, yeah?" Chan turned to Felix, reaching over to give him a solid pat on the back. When he caught sight of his face he leaned in to whisper something to him. The freckled boy avoided his gaze and nodded while muttering out something to himself as he walked over to start the bike.

"I’ll save a bottle for you. For next time." Jisung flashed you another bright smile and you gave him a small chuckle in return. It was the first time you had let out anything that resembled a laugh in a very long time, and you thanked him for it in your head.

You were certain that the relatively warm welcome you had received from the boys (excluding Minho who you were pretty sure had been trying to get you to drop dead with his eyes) had something to do with the fact that Chan was very persuasive.

Climbing onto the bike behind Felix, you wrapped your arms loosely around his waist. His muscles tensed underneath your touch, and you did your best to push away the sudden memory of your hands in the same place against his bare skin less than two hours ago. He left you with just enough time to shoot one last reassuring glance back to Chan before the bike jolted forward.

Within the first 5 minutes it was clear that Felix wasn’t kidding about getting you back in time.

He drove fast. Like he had done this a million times before.

It gave you a different perspective of Districts 7 and 8 as he took you through open fields and over hills dispersed along the empty terrain. Occasionally, you spotted the light from a fire in the distance which he took extra caution to avoid.

You felt insignificant underneath the night sky like this. It was entirely different from when you looked up at it outside your bedroom window in the palace, and you got the sense that this is what life was supposed to feel like.

You never wanted to go back. You wanted every night to be like this, underneath the freedom promised by the stars with the boy that had constellations of his own beneath his eyes.

You had half a mind to tell Felix to turn around, but it wasn’t the right time for that.

Soon, though.

At first, you tried to maintain as little contact with Felix as possible. You kept pressure around his waist just enough to ensure that you didn’t fall off the bike. Despite your best efforts though, as the minutes passed, you dropped your head to let it rest on his back. He didn’t seem to mind and you were far too exhausted to care how he might interpret it.

The cool wind on the back of your eyelids along with his scent on the jacket invited you to fall asleep, but you didn’t want to miss a second of whatever it was you were feeling in that moment.

He picked up the speed when he crossed the border into District 9 and didn’t have any choice but to take you down roads lined with buildings. You pressed your face further into his back, praying that nobody would catch sight of you.

When the barrier surrounding the backside of the palace came into view, you squeezed his waist and the bike came to a halt, skidding in the dirt. You jumped off, despite how badly you wanted to stay, but the sun was starting to rise which meant that he needed to get out of there just as badly as you needed to get inside.

Maybe some day you wouldn't have to get off. Maybe someday you and Felix could take that bike and he could show you everything there was to see in all nine districts. Even if there wasn’t anything out there but an endless wasteland, struggling to hold some resemblance of the past.

Its not like you would be paying much attention to the scenery anyway.

"Princess."

You spun around at the sound of his voice. Standing with the bike between his leg, he grabbed your face with rough hands and planted a soft kiss to your lips.

"Go."

You kept your eyes closed as you nodded. Truthfully, you didn’t have much confidence that you would still be able to make yourself leave if you looked at him right now underneath the soft light of the rising sun.

As soon as you took off from his side, he used his foot to raise the kickstand.

Felix was destined to be alone. He had known that for a long time. People don't stay for him and neither would you. One way or another, whether you wanted to or not, he knew you would leave him too.

But that didn’t stop him from keeping his eyes trained on you until you safely slipped through the palace gates.

A small fracture formed in his defenses.

He ignored it.

You ran as fast as your legs would take you through the tunnels until you made it to the narrow staircase that led up into the palace. When you reached the top, you turned to head for your bedroom but were thrown backward when you crashed into something blocking your way. Looking up from your place on the ground, you saw Jisoo standing above you.

A mixture of shock and confusion spread across her face.

"y/n? Where have you been?Did you just come out from down there?" she pointed at the tunnels and you grabbed her, pulling her into the stairwell with a hand over her mouth.

"Shh I can explain just please don’t draw any attention."

Shit. This was the last thing you needed right now, but you were beyond thankful that it was only Jisoo.

She ripped your hand off of her mouth, eyes wide.

"Your father is coming back, we just got word they’ll be here within the hour and when I couldn’t find you-"

"What?!"

As far as she was concerned, it shouldn’t have mattered to you that he was returning early. But it did. It made all the difference.

"What are you talking about?!"

"I don’t know, they just told me to wake you so when I went to your bedroom and you weren’t there I started looking everywhere and what were you doing down here?! Oh my god did you leave the palace?"

She reached to brush a stray leaf from your jacket and when her hand brushed your pocket, you remembered the final pages of the journal hidden inside.

"Jisoo you can’t tell anyone about this. Please, if you have ever been my friend I need you to do this for me." You grabbed her arms and scanned her face for any sign of an answer.

"Jisoo please. Not a soul."

Her lips formed a tight line. After a moment she let out a quiet "okay" and you sighed in relief.

"Thank you." You gave her a tight hug. "I swear to you I’ll explain everything later but there’s something I need to do before he gets back."

She nodded and without another second to waste, you dragged her back up the stairs. You mouthed another thank you to her before turning and breaking into a run, heading for your fathers study.

You weaved in between guards and staff who were urgently preparing for the early arrival and had no care to pay any attention to you. Withdrawing the key Chan had given you, you pushed it into the lock and shoved open the door as soon as it clicked into place.

Before the door even had time to close behind you, you had the floor underneath the desk exposed. You felt on the ground until you came across the loose stone and quickly used your own knife to lift it. The red string was right where you had left it so you carefully tied it around the pages and replaced them underneath. You heaved the desk back into place, and after ensuring that everything in the room was exactly as you had found it, you turned to get the hell out of there.

The door slammed behind you and your pace relaxed to a brisk walk, heart pounding in your chest.

Thank god for Jisoo. You didn’t even want to think about the mess it would have created if she hadn’t been there to warn you about your fathers arrival.

Immediately upon turning the corner, you were met with the same two eyes that had been haunting you your entire life. The unexpected sight of him and the close call sent a chill shooting down your spine.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

Something caught your attention while you were busy avoiding his stare, a small white bandage wrapped around his palm. Thankfully, you hadn’t eaten in hours or you probably would have been sick at the sudden realization that he he had gone to Miroh. And he had gotten in using his blood, just as the final pages of the journal had said. The very reason that the same palm bore the faded scar underneath. If you tore the bandage off, you were certain you would find a fresh cut in its place.

"I asked you a question."

You snapped back to face him but your eyes remained glued to the bandage.

"I-they told me you were coming back this morning and I-was just I wanted to-"

Fuck, you needed to get it together now.

"Your hand," your voice fell to a whisper.

"We were successful in catching one of the rebels. There will be a ceremony at sundown. Go get yourself ready, you look like you’re going to be sick and I don’t have time to deal with this right now. I heard of the little stunt you pulled after my departure and there will be plenty of time for us to discuss that later."

Successful in catching one of the rebels.

A ceremony at sundown. You knew what that meant.

An execution.

You turned to hide your face because it would have been impossible to mask the reaction that flooded your veins at his words. You pushed past him while you could still stand, the nausea in your stomach and the ringing in your ears so loud that you couldn’t even hear him shouting after you.

On trembling legs you crossed the border into your bedroom.

Apparently it didn’t matter that you hadn’t eaten because you barely made it inside before dropping to your knees and emptying whatever contents of your stomach were left.

How was it possible for him to have caught one of them when you had been with them just hours before? They were safe when you left. They were all together and Felix had said that-

Felix.

They weren’t all there together.

He was the only one separated from the group. Because of you. Because he had taken you back to the palace.

Your chest heaved as your body threatened to be sick again.

It was a peculiar thing to be in possession of a bike like that. If they had come across Felix they would have stopped him to question how he had gotten it, and they would have found the bandana in his pocket.

You pushed the hair from your sweaty forehead with shaking hands, as if it would somehow help you breathe.

More than likely, he was being kept somewhere in the palace. You had until sundown to find him and get him out, whatever the cost. Even if it meant that your father would find out about everything you knew. Even if it meant that you would be locked up for the rest of your life. At this point, nothing else mattered.

You no longer cared about your own freedom or bringing peace to the rest of the world. You just needed to protect Felix.

You needed him to stay alive.

It didn't matter why, you just knew that you would never be able to live with yourself if something happened to him, and that was reason enough.

You stood, ripping the door open where you came face to face with an entire herd of guards outside your door.

"We have orders that you aren’t to leave this room until sundown."

"I need to-" your eyes filled with tears but that didn’t keep the guard closest to you from shoving you back into the room, yanking the door closed in your face.

You weren’t going to be able to fight your way out. Not this time.

You sank down into scalding bath water, washing the vomit from your hair and scrubbing your body until your skin was raw. You submerged yourself underneath the surface to muffle the thoughts in your head.

You stayed like that until it became ice cold, and when you finally found the energy to pull yourself out, you sat with your back against the bathtub.

Over nearly twelve hours, your debilitating fear turned to anger. When it was time to get dressed, you slipped your knife back underneath your clothing.

Your father had the entire world in the palm of his hand. You weren’t going to let him have Felix too. You would do whatever had to be done to ensure that the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes walked away with his life.

That or you would die trying, but one thing was for certain. If you were meant to die tonight then you would be taking your father with you.

And that was something you might just be able to make peace with.

It was an exceptionally beautiful sunset. A breathtaking spread of pink and orange hues painted the sky above, as if the world itself was apologizing for what was to come.

Just before sundown, you were guided you to your fathers study. When you reached the door, you noticed that it was cracked open slightly. You shrugged the guards off and stepped closer, turning your ear toward it where you heard hushed voices inside.

"Sir-"

"Enough. Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in order to maintain balance. They will believe it because I am the one who is telling it to them."

Your fathers voice.

The door swung open to reveal him standing there with the guard who had taken you from the hall the night of the raid.

Deep hatred burned through your veins at the sight of the man who had helped to bring you into this world. He failed to acknowledge you when he stepped into the corridor and you followed him closely behind. Not that you had a choice.

At the front of the palace there was a flat stone area where his 'ceremonies' were held. A standing audience made entirely of citizens from District 9 stood across the gates, and you recognized a few faces who had been there the night of the raid. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time you had witnessed something like this. It was more routine than you would ever want to admit.

Your heart threatened to explode out of your chest as your father put his hand on your back and guided you to your seat on a raised platform that overlooked the scene. The necklace with your family crest burned against your skin and the knife hidden underneath your clothes was the only thing keeping you grounded. It offered you some small sense of control, knowing that it was there for you to use to threaten his life when the moment came. And if he and his guards weren't willing to negotiate with you to release Felix, then you would use it to take his life.

He forced you to sit and turned to speak to the audience. His voice was nothing more than muffled noise to your ears, unable to compete with the thundering of your racing heartbeat. You studied the faces of the people across the gates and it made you sick all over again, the way they looked up to him. As if he was going to be the one to save them all from whatever hell they would inevitably end up in.

When he finished his speech and took his seat beside you, your hand fell to the top of your clothing where the knife handle was concealed underneath.

The palace doors opening in front of you was something you wouldn't easily forget, but you were certain that what came after would be burned into your memory for as long as you lived.

The sight of an unfamiliar man being carried in by two guards.

A stranger.

He looked nothing like Felix. Not even remotely like Felix, Chan, or any of the others you had met last night. Tears of relief fell from your eyes but they soon turned to tears of panic as you realized that your father was still about have another innocent man killed.

And he knew it.

Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in order to maintain balance.

They will believe it because I am the one who is telling it to them.

A sacrifice made by a stranger to calm the citizens of District 9. The man before you was probably just some poor soul that happened to cross paths with your father in the wrong place at the wrong time. Someone that nobody would miss, and if your father could convince the citizens of District 9 that this man was one of the rebels then he could provide them with some sick sense of justice. He was trading this innocent man’s life in exchange for a display of power. To reaffirm his control to the citizens who worshipped him. To send a message to Felix and the others.

You watched in horror as an unsettling smirk made its way across his lips when the citizens began to shout at the stranger. They ate up this lie just like you had done with every single lie he had ever told you.

The prisoner struggled in the grasp of the guards, yelling out across the gates that he had nothing to do with the raid, that he didn't even have any idea what they were talking about, but it was useless.

The realization that you had no choice but to accept the fate of the man in front of you was followed by overwhelming guilt. Guilt because in reality, you did have a choice. If it had been Felix, you would have risked everything to save his life.

How selfish you must have been, to think that you had any right to decide that this man wasn't worth the same risk.

There are some moments in your life where you will be forced to make choices that you would never be able to forgive yourself for. Most of which hadn't happened yet, one had happened long ago, and this moment now. This would always be one of them. Because even when you couldn’t bear it, when you stood and your hand tightened around the handle of the knife, it was already too late.

The innocent man was forced to his knees.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you turned away just in time as a single gunshot rang through the air.

You were thankful for the numbness that spread throughout your body after what happened. Or at least, you would be later. But right now you weren't feeling much of anything at all, and that was the only reason you were able to keep yourself going.

That and the fact that Felix and the others were still alive, which meant that, without any way for you to warn them of your fathers early arrival, they would still be still coming to collect the supplies.

Tonight.

Apparently your father was still too busy to deal with you, just another thing you would be forever thankful for some day. Because when he locked himself in his study, you were able to use the remaining hours before midnight to stockpile whatever goods you could get ahold of in the tunnels. With a little help from Jisoo, despite the questions that you still couldn’t answer for her. You insisted that it was safer that way and although she was reluctant, she showed up throughout the night with loaves of bread and canteens full of water.

You took it upon yourself to collect whatever weapons from the training room that you could get your hands on. Four guns, one bow and a set of arrows, and a few knives would have to be enough because there was no way you were getting into the armory tonight. Fuel turned out to be the most difficult thing to acquire but you managed to get a few large containers. It should be enough to get you to Miroh, where you would hopefully find more to get you back.

Jisoo was an incredibly loyal friend, and the only part of your life before that you would let yourself grieve, but you had hit your breaking point. After what your father had allowed to happen just hours before, you were more confident than ever in your decision to leave with Felix and the others.

The uneasy sensation in your stomach returned when the position of the moon told you that it was just before midnight. Moments earlier, you ran to unlock the gates at the back of the palace, leaving them slightly ajar and tossing the key off into the bushes.

All you could do now was wait. Praying that your father wouldn't go looking for you just to find your bedroom empty. You crouched down near the entrance to the tunnels, nails digging into your palms, reminding yourself to keep breathing. Each second that passed by felt like an eternity.

The current situation would have been enough to disturb the most stable of minds, let alone yours. You were teetering on the edge of sanity at this point, and you might have fallen off that edge if an engine hadn’t revved somewhere in the distance.

A motorcycle engine.

When the familiar figure driving it became visible underneath the moon, his messy hair pulled up into the signature half ponytail, every single emotion that you had been suppressing since your father's return was released into your veins at once.

As soon as Felix stood from the bike you ran to him and wrapped your arms tightly around his neck.

A kiss, three kisses even, can be easily written off as nothing more than chemical attraction. The way you pulled him into you now, clutching at him like you had been drowning for your entire life and he was the first breath of fresh air that you had ever taken, was something much more.

"What are you-"

"My father came back early..He killed someone tonight..He said they were one of the rebels, and I thought.." you spoke in fragments, whispered out into the side of his neck.

"Oh."

It was all he needed to say to let you know that he understood. He lifted a hand up and hovered it over your back, placing it down when you pulled him closer. You took in his scent and the warmth radiating from his skin, something that just hours before you were all but certain you would never get to feel again.

You were well aware that the others could see you as the rover pulled up behind you, but you didn't care. It wasn't until Chan hopped out of the drivers seat and jogged over that you reluctantly let go of your hold on Felix.

He shot a concerned glance to Felix, who informed him that your father had returned early.

"Shit," he breathed.

"Wait, where are the others?" it didn't take long for you to notice that half of them were missing.

As if it had been perfectly timed by some higher power above (or a very meticulous group of boys) a sudden eruption of sound shattered through the silence. The boys faces were lit up by hungry flames that rose up from somewhere around the corner of the palace, and you felt a sense of deja vu as deep gray smoke began to fill the night sky.

Four shadowy figures with bandanas around their faces came running around the corner and you looked to Chan, dumbfounded.

"We thought that it would be safer with a distraction, a last minute addition to the plan, I'm sorry we couldn’t warn you."

"The supplies, y/n," Felix reclaimed your attention.

Once the rest of the boys caught up, you revealed the entrance to the tunnels to all eight and they got to work instantly. You were pleased with the number of supplies that you and Jisoo had piled outside, running down with Felix to grab the rest. After everything was thrown into the rover, Chan and the others took their places inside of it in once again. Felix started the bike just in time as you heard angry shouts break out from somewhere in the darkness. You couldn’t be sure exactly where they were coming from or whether they were directed at the boys in the rover or the burning palace, but it didn’t really matter at this point.

"We need to go-" you turned to take one last glance at the entrance to the tunnels but the words caught in your throat when you watched as a figure stepped out from the shadows.

Jisoo.

Felix reached down to withdraw his knife but you stopped him, shaking your head.

"Its okay."

Her eyes frantically scanned the scene.

"y/n what’s going on.." the fear in her voice made your chest tighten.

You tried to approach her but with every step you took she took two back.

"I’m sorry Jisoo. I’m so sorry but I have to do this. When this is all over I’ll be able to explain everything to you. I will come back for you, I promise."

Without another second to spare, you picked up the final bag that lie on the ground near your feet and slung it around your shoulder.

Chan started the rover and you took your place behind Felix on the bike.

"If you do this you can never come back! You'll be labeled a traitor and he will never stop looking for you!" Jisoo shouted at you over the roaring of the engines but you couldn't bring yourself to turn around again.

Despite the sinking feeling that it would be the last chance you ever got, you couldn't even look at her.

Coward.

You allowed a single tear to slip from your eyes as the weight of your decision severed the bond between you. You hoped you really would get the chance to explain it all to her some day, but somewhere deep down, you knew you wouldn’t.

Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in order to create balance.

"You sure about this?" Felix kept his hands on the bike handles as he turned his head to look to you.

Like your decision hadn't been made during the raid, the moment your eyes connected again and you realized it was him. Or when you discovered the information about the blood lock.

As if it wasn't cemented in place tonight, after your father had taken it upon himself to end the life of yet another innocent man.

Despite the overwhelming uncertainty of what the future might hold, you were more sure than you had ever been about anything in your entire life.

"Go, Lix."

And you swore then that the stars in his eyes shined brighter than any you had ever seen in the sky above. They made promises of something more than the life you had always known.

A new life.

One worth living.

He reached up with one hand and gently swiped the tear from your cheek with his thumb.

"Hold on tight, princess."

Part 4

a/n: thank you so much for reading♡ as always feedback and comments are what keep me motivated and any likes/reblogs are more appreciated than you know ♡♡

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