#and while he says we can change both of those he basically only goes into why some values are bad and why his values now are the best

[lucysweatslove]

Need to rant.

I spent an hour and a half working on The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. I only got 50 pages in. The reading is easy, but I’m annotating a LOT so it’s going super slow.

But I’m annotating a lot to remind myself of all the bullshit, so I can properly roast it. There are some good ideas and points in there but omg he sounds like an insufferable asshole writing a book for himself, ignoring that other people can have totally valid ways of being. Fatphobic undertones, implying there are definitely good values and like, limited ways to correctly prioritize them. I’m now 45% through. I am hate-reading at this point, and I’m torn between:

do I just want to finish it off quickly from here on out? (he has started going into specific things that are negative that he thinks everybody should value highly, versus talking more about his general philosophy)

Or do I want to keep going through slowly making notes ripping him apart.

On one hand: I’m definitely enraged and I kinda want it to end because it’s so irritatingly wrong. On the other hand: i want to give it such a scathing review because of its wrongness that I want to have everything wrong with it detailed meticulously because I enjoy that level of thoroughness.

I’m hoping there will be less to annotate tbh.

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote

The “don’t vote” left’s point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, it’ll basically signal that “They’ll vote for us as long as we’re not Republicans, why don’t we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?” It takes the power out of the people’s hands and places it firmly in the party’s.

I can’t completely disagree with that, my caveat is that there’s no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.

Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.

I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.

I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.

[adashulaz]

One thing I've noticed about Piltover, not only do they not take disabled people into consideration(i.e. Salo and Viktor), they don't even think about their non-human residents. Steb being the number person to use as my evidence.

Stebs uniform when we first meet him is the typical enforcer uniform. The only difference is you can clearly see that Steb wasn't given a uniform that took his biology into consideration. The collar of the uniform goes up to the fin that's on the back of head/neck, and for fishes fins can be used to feel around them so I doubt having something rubbing up against the end of it all day is comfortable. Not only that but we know that his ears can move and are seen facing more outwards and away from his head, his hat wouldn't allow that and would make it very uncomfortable. The straps of his hat also cover the gils on his jaw and that as well would be uncomfortable, they're silts in his skin that would most likely allow him to breathe underwater so having fabric rub against it would be uncomfortable.

In conclusion, his uniform wasn't made with him in mind. His uniform would be fine for the typical human, the collar might be annoying but not uncomfortable for some. The hat wouldn't cause discomfort as well, it would be like wearing a typical hat or even just like a helmet. But that's for a human, Steb clearly isn't human. He's more fish-esque than human, his biology is different meaning his needs are different. His uniform doesn't fit those needs.

His uniform for Caitlyns striketeam is better suited for his needs(at least some of them). The collar goes out more, it's not rubbing up against his fin. His hat is much different, it's no longer covering his ears and it doesn't have straps that covers his gils.

Obviously Caitlyn had a say on the uniforms because they're part of her striketeam but she also took in Stebs needs and how his old uniform wasn't made with him in mind. So she made the suitable changes, even if they don't seem important, for Steb it most likely made his uniform more comfortable.

His uniform in act3, while it seems different than the others around him based on the fact that it doesn't have a belt and his arm things are black with minimal gold outlines, it still seems like the typical enforcer uniform based on the color scheme. Not only that but it looks similar to his uniform when he was on Caitlyns striketeam.

His collar still pokes out and away from his fin. His hat doesn't cover his ears and it doesn't have a strap that covers his gils.

This uniform takes in his biology, probably more than the two previous ones he wore based on the fact that it looks much more different. Graysons uniform and Marcus' uniform never looked like the one Steb wears in act3 and both of them were of a higher rank than Steb. So it's safe to assume that this new uniform that Steb wears is better sited for his needs.

Basically before all of this, Piltover never took in their non-human residents into consideration when doing things despite having Heimerdinger(a non-human) as a councilor and founder. Steb is a prime example of that, he shows this fact with the different uniforms he wears when on screen.

[sophiesbf]

Travis Martinez NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

it depends on his mood. he can take a bath with you, then watch a movie and cuddle, but if for some reason he is in a bad mood, he will just turn over and sleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves your neck. he likes to leave marks on your neck so everyone knows you're not single. he loves his own hands, because it is with them that he can touches you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he likes to cum on your face or tits, or to watch you swallow his cum. he wouldn't want to have your cum — or anyone else's — in his body, at most he would probably let you cum on his face, but he loves to swallow all your cum.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes to be pegged. Natalie used to peg him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

we all know that Nat was his first experience, well, after that, you guys started dating, nobody but Nat before you, so he's not that experienced.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

cowgirl !!! this man loves to look at you and run his hands all over your body while you fuck.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's a little insecure, you try to be serious so as not to make the situation worse. he really is serious. maybe he'll only laugh if you say something funny during sex.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

his balls are hairy, but not that much, he tries not to make them too hairy.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he tries to be cute and romantic with you. after a while, he just does anything that turns you on, he wants your approval.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he masturbates whenever he is alone and ends up thinking about you. he has a polaroid picture of you that he uses to masturbate.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise kink. he loves being praised by you. are you calling him a good boy? well, that made his day.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he likes to do it in the bedroom. but since you masturbated him at the theater, he likes to do it in public places, but hidden.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when you sit on his lap and you both kiss. when you start praising him more than usual. “good boy”, “you are doing great.”

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

scat, piss and vomit. he probably wouldn't do ageplay as a daddy either.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he likes giving and he's pretty good at it, but he literally LOVES to receive.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow and rough. he's trying his best !!

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he loves every bit of you. any opportunity he has to touch you or fuck you, he will take.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he would try anything you asked (except for his limits), he would do anything for you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

two or three rounds. if the day has been tiring he will just sleep after one round.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he hides an 15cm transparent dildo, you found out, but you just didn't say anything so as not to embarrass him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he's very fair. he only teases you if he's really horny.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he moans softly. it's cute and nice to hear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he's a voyeur. he loves watching you showering and changing clothes without you knowing.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's a little muscular. and damn, his dick is good. is 22cm good for you guys? because that's what our boy has.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he fucked Natalie every weekend. now you decide when you're going to fuck.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

as I mentioned, he falls asleep quickly if he is in a bad mood or has had a tiring day.

I'm sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language, but I hope y'all enjoy it.

[amywritesthings]

hiii! for the hallosleepover, can I get jean x reader + enemies to lovers who unintentionally wear a couple’s costume to a Halloween party? 🥺

hallo-sleepover '24!

hello, anon! thank you for sending this in. i've never written jean as a main character before, so let's see how this goes, yeah?

saving horses, matching costumes.

pairing: jean kirstein x f!reader word count: 1.1k+ warnings: halloween party mishaps, miscommunication, enemies to kinda lovers, fluffy, banter, jean is a cowboy bc of the s4 mullet i dont make the rules credit: dividers by @saradika-graphics

read on ao3.

“Oh, you have to be joking.”

The complaint comes out of your mouth faster than you can stop it.

As much as you hate that your eyes lock onto Jean Kirstein every time he walks into a room (a sixth sense, if you will, after putting up with him throughout college and beyond) you’re glad it’s you who spotted him first.

You’d never hear the end of it if it’d been Sasha, who’s busy shoveling yet another candy apple in her mouth like she’s discovered the wonders of life — while dressed in a cozy yet outrageous inflatable cow costume.

Be friends! she says. 

(As fucking if.)

He likes you, but he thinks you hate him! she claims.

(False. He hated you first, so you hated him second.)

This year’s costume had been a panicked choice when Sasha reminded you of Mikasa’s costume party a mere twelve hours ago.

Scrambling through your closet before work, the outfit basically built itself: a pink hat, some old cowboy boots, jeans and a denim vest and ta-da—

A cowgirl!

To be fair, you thought Sasha changed her outfit to a silly cow to match you when you texted her the outfit a few hours before the party.

The foreboding dots, however, are connecting in real time:

Jean walks into the house with a bandana tied around his neck, a deep brown hat, a half-buttoned white shirt, and fringed chaps. 

He holds the door open, waiting for someone else.

Behind him waddles in Connie, dressed identically to Sasha as an inflatable cow. He sandwiches the puffy middle through the door before jumping out like a bursting star to greet the people mingling at the front of the house.

This?

This was an ambush.

“Whassajo?” Sasha slurs, cheeks puffed with food. She turns on a heel towards you, not in the least aware of her bulky surroundings.

But before you can answer, she recognizes the two walking through the front door, lights up and flings a hand to the sky. 

“Connie!”

Sharing the same brain cell, the man in question pauses, posing in his cow costume, before pointing at his wonder twin. He lets out a battle cry and rushes over the best an inflatable costumed-person can.

Of course that gets Jean’s attention, his eyes searching the crowd until they land on you, and the drop of his smile confronts the uncomfortable truth:

You’re the only cowgirl at the party, and as far as you can see, he’s the only cowboy.

God.

Damn.

It.

“Yoooo, you matched us!” Connie yelps, slinging a puffy arm around Sasha.

“For the record I didn’t try to, but I also didn’t know you both had matching cow costumes,” you state, trying to make it abundantly clear that this? Not your idea.

“Oh, these ol’ things were a last minute thing,” Sasha states once she’s swallowed her food, grinning ear to ear. “And they were on sale at Spirit, so—”

Jean cautiously makes his way over to your little corner of the party with his hands shoved into his jean pockets.

Either the lighting is making his face red as a tomato or he’s genuinely as embarrassed to be wearing a matching costume with you.

He mumbles a greeting, keeping his chin down.

The Monster Mash plays for the fourth time from the speakers — no doubt a takeover from Yeager, wherever he’s hiding at this party.

Connie pipes up after a minute, letting go of his partner in crime. “Where’d you get one of those, anyway? I want apples.”

“Kitchen,” Sasha states, looping her inflatable arm around his. “C’mon, to the promise land we go.”

Like clockwork, they leave.

They fucking leave you — and Jean, for that matter, because he still stands across from you with his head down and hands in his pockets. His mullet is neatly combed under the hat, stubble grown out for the occasion.

(He looks good, but you don’t have to admit it.)

“...so.” Jean speaks, though it’s barely audible. “This is a thing.”

“Yep.”

“Designed for us to get along?”

“Probably.”

“Sasha told me to go as a cowboy.”

“Probably after I told her I was going as a cowgirl.”

“At least we’re not wearing the same colored hat and stuff, right?” he tries to joke, shuffling his boot to poke at one of the plastic pumpkins lining the room. “Because that would’ve been really damn freaky.”

After acknowledging his statement with a grunt, silence meets you.

For a moment, you wonder if maybe that’s the end of the conversation.

This presumed couple’s costume will be a mere coincidence and no one will think otherwise and the night will go on its merry drunken little—

“Sorry.”

The word surprises you to the point of looking his way, but before you can, he’s already sliding closer to talk directly to you.

“Okay. Hear me out, alright?”

Your brows slide up your forehead. “Hear you… out?”

“It…”

Trailing off, Jean scrunches his nose and takes the hat off his head to smooth back his hair.

“Ah, fuck, just let me get this out one time and one time only and if it’s a shitty idea? We’ll pretend it never happened.”

“Uh—”

“What if tonight’s a truce?” he interrupts, gesturing between your denim-and-pleather-clad bodies. “Whatever beef we have with each other could be fixed or something.”

You open your mouth to speak, but Jean keeps going.

“Because I don’t hate you. Connie says you think I hate you, or something, and I don’t really know why you would ever think I—”

“I thought it because you hated me… first,” you try to remind him, tilting your head in confusion. “You literally declared it freshman year in front of—”

“I didn’t actually hate you!” he whisper-shouts over the mouth, conveying his emotion without the outburst. “I didn’t. Seriously. I said some stupid shit to get Yeager off my damn back about you and I regretted it as soon as I said it—”

“What?”

“I just want a chance, okay?”

Finally, with his hands flexed before you, Jean seems to get to the point of his ramble.

Squeezing his eyes shut for a brief second, he exhales and softens in defeat.

“One chance — to show you I’m not some sort of douchebag because I got tongue-tied years ago. I’m not that moron anymore. Just… let me get you a drink or water or something, and I’ll fix it. And if I still suck to you, then at least I’ll have said my peace.”

For what feels like ages, you simply stare at him.

He stares back as the party lights twinkle like a halo over his cowboy hat, eyes rounded and pleading.

As much as you hate to say it, you’re intrigued.

Jean’s right: it’s been years.

Why hold an arbitrary grudge if it was genuinely an accident?

“...fine,” you relent. “But just one.”

Relief floods his expression, and he sheepishly tips his hat to you. “Yes, ma’am, just one.”

[atlabeth]

Girl for one get that glass of water! andddd this is a loose request but I LOVE knight Luke and we just gotta see them have that cinderella live action ball scene like romantic dancing maybe the secret garden as well but either way we gotta see these gals at a ball! Have a great day you're an amazing writer!

under the moonlight

fic about the ball

pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader

a/n: thank you so much for this request it is so fucking cute lmao. i changed it a bit to make it work with my vision (bc they wouldn’t really be able to dance at a ball) but the core is that they're dancing together!!! and it is much more intimate and personal lol. here is the cinderella scene that the ask mentioned (and that i took inspo from because it's a beautiful scene lol)

wc: 2.5k

warning(s): basically all fluff

as usual, a mix of hcs and traditional fic!

ALRIGHT LAST TIME WE LEFT OFF princess was dancing with princes during the ball and luke was sulking at his first ever ball accompanying you as a knight 

and thankfully, that all goes okay. 

You don’t get murdered, Luke only goes slightly insane, and you don’t fall head over heels for any royals. 

All in all, a pretty alright night in retrospect. 

But post-ball is rough on both of you. 

You complain about how much your feet hurt from your heels and how uncomfortable your dress is and how your cheeks ache from smiling so much. 

To your surprise, as Luke follows you down the halls, he laughs. 

You stop in your tracks as you whirl around. “And what do you find so funny?”

“Nothing,” he says with a slight smile, almost private. “Just… good to be back with you, princess.”

A small smile of your own starts to creep on your lips. “It was only half the night, Luke.”

“And you have no idea how much I missed you,” he muses. 

You just shake your head and continue walking. “You’re funny.”

(he’s not joking. he’s just going through it now that he’s not training 24/7 and actually has time to feel emotions again) 

You finally get back to your room—thankfully, you got out of any post-ball events with any princes by citing exhaustion, and it’s very rude to demand more of an exhausted lady—and Luke shuts the door behind you as you sink into the edge of your bed. 

“God,” you groan as you immediately peel your heels off, letting out a sigh of relief. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to those.”

“If it’s any help, you looked very regal out there,” Luke says.

“It is my duty,” you say as you smile inwardly. “You looked very knightly out there.”

“And that’s my duty,” he says in kind. He gets a chuckle out of you. 

You begin to take everything off—you undo your hair from whatever elaborate style it was in, you strip your wrists and fingers bare of bracelets, bangles, and rings (though you leave a certain necklace on), you undo parts of your dress. When you take your nightgown from your chest and go behind your folding screen, Luke clears his throat. 

“Princess,” Luke says, “do you want me to—?”

“You can stay,” you say. “I don’t mind.”

And Luke, idiot that he is, gets all in his head. 

(Does she not want me to leave because she doesn’t even see me as someone who could like her like that???) (We’ve been friends for so long, does she just see me as an older brother???) (Does this mean she trusts me or sees me as like. a painting on the wall.) (what the fuck) 

It’s not any of those, poor boy. it’s just that you feel more comfortable around him than anyone because you’ve been around each other for your entire life—he knows you better than anyone. What’s the harm in him being in the room when you’re separated by a folding screen anyway?

but Luke is dramatic and also so fucking insecure when it comes to your feelings for him lmao 

and he has a reason to be i guess?? because at this point while he knows that he has feelings for you (hasn’t fully realized he’s in love) you haven’t realized your own. you just think you have a lingering childhood crush on Luke and it’ll go away as you get older and start being courted 

(spoiler alert: it will not go away.) 

so he gets all weird and silent, giving one word responses as you talk with him, and when you come out in your nightgown you immediately stare him down. 

“Luke,” you said, “what’s wrong?” 

He blinked, as if he wasn’t expecting you to say anything. “Nothing.” 

“Luke,” you repeated. “Come on.” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” he repeated as well. 

You crossed your arms. “Don’t act like I don’t know every single thing about you.” 

“If you do, then you should know that nothing is wrong,” he countered. 

You stared at him for a moment more, then you held out your hand. “Dance with me, then.” 

That actually seemed to throw him off guard as he frowned. “What?” 

“Did you go deaf back there?” you joked. “I want you to dance with me.” 

He managed a smile, though it was slightly awkward. It only made your smile grow. “I don’t dance, princess.” 

“Which is why I’ll teach you,” you said with a nod. “I’ve had plenty of practice.” 

“And I have none.” Luke gestured at his armor. “I’m not exactly suited for it, either.” 

“You can take off your armor,” you said. “It’ll make it all much easier. And a lot quieter.” 

“My job is to protect you, princess.” Luke laid his hand on the hilt of his sword. “I can’t exactly defend you if all the armor’s gone.” 

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly. He really did worry too much. “Nothing’s going to happen here, Luke—not now. I’ll even let you keep your sword with you if it matters that much.” 

He still didn’t seem sure. You inclined your head and took another step forward, still holding out your hand. 

“I’ll count you through it all,” you promised. “And if you like, I can hum one of those orchestra tunes they played earlier tonight. And I promise it’ll make you feel better.”

“...Fine,” Luke relented, and he started undoing his armor. “But you don’t tell anyone about this.” 

“Your secret is safe with me,” you remarked. 

It took a fair amount of time for Luke to get his armor off, but it took just as long for you to get every layer of your ball gown off earlier—and besides, you had endless patience reserved especially for him. The toned forearms revealed as he rolled his sleeves up certainly helped. 

“Are you ready?” you asked as you held out your hand again. 

Luke took it uncertainly. “I feel as if I’m the one meant to be asking you that.” 

“You can lead next time we train together,” you said with a smile. “For now, you’re in my domain.” 

You put Luke’s hand on your waist and reached for his other one, adjusting until it was right, then you looked up at him. “Does that feel alright?” 

His eyes were startlingly dark this close, surprisingly intense. He nodded. 

“Good. I’m going to teach you a few basic steps so you can get used to it.” 

Luke nodded again. You wondered why words seemed behind his grasp. 

yeah girlie I wonder why 

Luke is. not a great dancer 

You’re not surprised, and you don’t say a single word about it as you teach him the basics. he spent his childhood swinging a sword around, and you spent yours learning etiquette and ballroom dances lol 

He steps on your foot about ten times and apologizes like a freak every time, you just laugh and smile and tell him you’re fine. Sure, your slippers don’t provide much protection and Luke’s boots aren’t great against them but you honestly don’t even feel it. you’re too busy getting lost in his eyes lol 

And for someone who spent two years training like an insane person, he gets frustrated very easily when things don’t go his way. 

“How do you do this? It’s impossible.” 

“I learned this dance when I was twelve, Luke.” 

as much as you jest while you’re teaching him the basics you’re encouraging him the entire time because he’s your best friend above all else!!! and you honestly believe he can do anything lmao 

And he’s a quick learner! He didn’t become the youngest kingsguard in history by learning slowly. So soon enough, you’re actually dancing together. 

Luke’s hand on your back feels like the most natural thing in the world, and you can tell he’s actually starting to get a little into it. 

You didn’t have to count your steps off anymore, so you’d switched to humming one of your favorite symphonies from the musicians back in Aurelda. 

Luke is still focused on landing every move, but your lead and the music gives him confidence in this that he didn’t really know he had. He spins you, and you get an idea as you twirl your way to the balcony door. You open it and look back at him. 

“Princess—” Luke starts as he takes a few steps towards you, but you just shake your head with a grin and hold out your hand. 

“Trust me.” 

And he does, somehow. 

You didn’t know what part of himself Luke had to get to in order to actually go along with this, but he allowed you to fully take the lead. His eyes never left yours as you guided him through one of your favorite dances—sometimes you called out whatever move that was coming next, and he would do it perfectly. His instincts and reaction time, sharply honed by his training, actually came in handy. 

“And lift!” 

Luke braced his hands on your waist as he raised you into the air without missing a beat, and you found yourself actually laughing with pure glee as you landed. You grinned at Luke who had a smile smaller than yours, but that you knew meant the same. He glowed with exertion and the light of the full moon shone down on him. 

Angelic was the only word you could think of to describe him. 

“Princess,” he said, bringing you back to the real world, “are we done?” 

“I see no reason not to end while we’re ahead,” you said, slightly out of breath from his lift. “You’re a natural. Are you sure you’re not a prince?” 

Luke’s smile didn’t fully reach his eyes for the slightest moment—he covered it up before you could fully analyze it. “Thankfully, I’m not. Otherwise I would have had to do that all my life like you.” 

“Oh, it’s not that bad,” you said offhandedly. “Especially when you’ve got such a great partner.” 

Luke suddenly lowered himself into a bow, his arm held in front of his chest as he bent over. You couldn’t stifle your laugh in time, but he was smiling when he rose. 

“The only proper way to truly end a dance, so I’ve seen,” he said. “I wouldn’t be such a great partner if I forgot that.” 

You grinned as you took the skirt of your nightgown in your hands and bobbed into a curtsy. “Thank you for the reminder, my lord.” 

A shiver ran through you and Luke’s eyebrows creased. “You should get back inside. You’re not dressed at all for this weather.” 

“It’s simply a night chill,” you said, and you walked over to the railing and rested your forearms on it. “And it’s too beautiful a night to ignore.” 

“It truly is.” 

You heard Luke walk up next to you, so you glanced over. His gaze was only set on you. 

You felt your cheeks flush and you bit back your smile as you stared back up at the stars. For a moment, you stood together in comfortable silence. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you finally said. 

You could hear his frown in his words. “What do you mean?” 

“Exactly what I said.” You leaned a bit closer to the railing, shifting your balance. “Your presence always… calms me. And I was a bit nervous for tonight.” 

When Luke finally responded, it was more restrained than usual. “Why?” 

“Well, I was nervous tonight because you put the idea in my head that I was going to get murdered,” you said wryly. “And your presence calms me because it always has.” 

“So… I made you nervous and calmed you down for what I made you nervous about?” Luke shook his head. “I’m sorry, princess.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” You finally turned to look at him, the smallest smile on your lips. “Anytime I got overwhelmed on the floor, or felt as if I was going to keel over from boredom, I just searched around until I found you.” You shrugged. “The sight of you alone was enough to get me through the rest of it.” 

“And of course,” you tipped a shoulder as your gaze drifted back to the stars, “you danced with me for no reason. That gives you all the good will you need from me.” 

“It wasn’t for no reason,” he said. “It made you happy. That’s reason enough for me.” 

The chill in the air was a blessing as you felt heat rise in your cheeks, and your smile grew just so. 

“Besides.” You could feel his eyes on you as he continued. “This was my first ball. Anytime I got overwhelmed, I would find you in the crowd, and your confidence got me through it.” 

You chuckled as your gaze fell to the marble railing. You didn’t know if you’ve ever felt less confident at a ball—but knowing that Luke was looking for you the same way you did him made butterflies arise in your stomach. 

Warmth spurned all through you, and the fingers on your forearms felt bumps rise on your skin. You didn’t exactly know what possessed you as you cleared your throat and started back towards your room. 

“It’s late,” you said, perhaps a bit too hasty. “We— we should turn in. It’s going to be a long ride back to Aurelda.” 

You paused at the door, waiting to hear Luke’s footsteps or his voice, and it took a few seconds for him to do anything. 

“...Yes,” he eventually said. “I apologize for keeping you so long.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself as you opened the door and walked back in. Always so noble—it was no question he had knight’s blood in his veins. 

“It’s not your fault, Luke,” you said. “You were just meant to drop me off—I got you to stay.” 

You sat on the side of your bed as Luke put his armor back on. There was no point in it, but he refused to let the implications of him leaving your room at this hour in his underclothes fester. 

“I chose to stay,” he said. “I know better.” 

“You can give it a rest for a night, Luke,” you said with a slight laugh. “I’m your princess, aren’t I?” 

“Certainly.” 

“And you are my knight.” 

“Yes.” 

“Then I don’t see how anyone could have a problem with my knight spending time with me.” You smiled as you leaned forward, meeting his eyes. A smile twitched on his lips for just a moment before he continued to get dressed. 

Soon enough, he was ready to go. Luke paused at the door, fingers on the handle, and met your eyes. 

“Thank you again for tonight, princess,” he said. “I…” 

His breath caught for a moment. His eyes flickered down to your neck. A millisecond later, they were back at eye level, and you allowed a knowing smile. 

“I enjoyed it,” he murmured. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight, Luke,” you said softly. 

And you got one more smile out of him before he closed the door behind him. 

[calvin-reads-problem-sleuth]

Doctor Who Season 2 Theory: The Davies Masterplan

This post contains MAJOR SPOILERS for Doctor Who "Season 2" / Series 15 / Season 41. If you haven't seen it yet, go do it, because A) it's really damn good and B) this post will make literally zero sense if you haven't seen it.

So I haven't used my blog in a long time, but I feel like I need to in order to share this deranged theory, partly so I can point and scream at it if I get it right and partly to get this madness out of my head. I came up with this idea a few days ago while spitballing theories with one of my friends, and while part of it was originally floated as a joke, the more I listened the more I realized how much actual evidence there actually was for at least parts of it.

Right now, as far as I've observed, there are two big mysteries going on in the season: the identity and plans of Mrs. Flood; and the nature of the weirdness going on with Belinda. Well, in this theory, I'm going to do my best to lay out my IMO fairly plausible guesses as to both of those things, as well as my absolutely unhinged speculation as to how these two might dovetail together into possibly the wildest plot twist this series has ever seen.

PART 1: The Case of Mrs. Flood

Right off the bad, Mrs. Flood is the most obvious mystery of the new RTD era as a whole. She's been present since "The Church on Ruby Road", reoccurred occasionally in Season 1, and now is an every-episode occurrence in Season 2. She also feels... weird in a way that most of the other antagonists in the era- even the more surreal ones like the Pantheon members- don't. She's REPEATEDLY addressed the audience directly, and while the first couple of those could be interpreted as happening in dubiously-canon stingers, the most recent one happens mid-episode, implying her ability to break the fourth wall is in some way a canon ability for her.

So what the hell do we make of her?

I think the most obvious thing we can say is that she almost has to be someone we know. The show isn't going to spend two seasons plus change building up the identity of this mystery character if it's ultimately someone or something we've never heard of. We also know for a fact that RTD loves to bring back antagonists from the Classic Series as big reveals. The Daleks, the Cybermen, the Master, Davros, the Toymaker, and most recently Sutekh... while many of them had their return spoiled by marketing, all of them have been used by RTD as a major plot twist, mostly in a season finale. I would bet actual money this is a returning foe.

We also know that she's almost certainly a time traveler. Her moving next door to Belinda could maybe have been shrugged off with mundane means, but her presence in "Lux" and "The Well" basically rules that out. I guess technically speaking this could be another Clara or Susan Triad situation where there are a bunch of different Mrs. Floods scattered wherever the Doctor goes, but I don't think that's going to be the case; whatever your thoughts on RTD, he's not dumb enough to use the EXACT same plot twist two seasons in a row. She has to be following them- or at least traveling widely within the same range as them- meaning she has a TARDIS or similar method of space-time travel stashed away somewhere.

Most peculiar, though, is the sheer amount she knows about the Doctor. It's not just that she's researched him; she almost seems to know minute details about the activities he is doing right now. When she goes to free Conrad in "Lucky Day", she not only knows that the Doctor just had a conversation with him, but seems to imply she knows what was said. When she shows up in "Lux", she makes a nod to the same May 24th anomaly that the Doctor discovered mere hours earlier, before she could possibly have overheard him. She also ends Season 1 by making a bold declaration about the "end" of the Doctor's story, implying outright foreknowledge. But perhaps most damning, however, is the fact that she knows the device Fifteen is using to get Belinda home is called a Vindicator, a name the Doctor literally came up with on the spot. All this leaves us with a person who doesn't just know the Doctor's past, but also his present AND- to some extent- his future.

So, what does this add up to?

When I first tried to speculate about her identity, for a while I tried to pin her down as the Rani. After all, she's probably the most famous Classic Series villain who has yet to make any appearance in the New Series. And admittedly, I was kind of feeling it when she made her speech about storming the gates of heaven in the Season 1 finale. But... it just doesn't seem to fit, especially after the last couple episodes. The Rani is the prototypical mad scientist character, obsessed with logic and knowledge, ready to throw ethics to the winds in pursuit of discovery. By contrast, there's something... ethereal- almost darkly whimsical in a way- about Mrs. Flood, this kindly-looking old lady who talks directly to the audience while giving ominous warnings about the future. As much as I wanted to jump on the Rani hype train once again, I just don't see that being the answer. Plus, on a meta level, the Rani's stories aren't exactly the most well-remembered in retrospect, and it feels like it would be quite risky to bring her back when by all accounts the executives are already looking for an eject button.

Who does that leave? The Master? Well, I guess we can't rule it out; they do have a habit of turning up where we least expect them, and we did get his return teased in "The Giggle". But it just doesn't feel right; it doesn't answer most of the questions around her, mainly the fourth wall issues and her knowledge of the Doctor's near future. But I think we're on the right track suspecting a Time Lord; after all, Gallifrey may be gone again now, but there was a major gap between its return at the end of Series 9 and its newest destruction at the start of Series 12, and anyone could have snuck off it then. Notably, the subtitles for "Lucky Day" notably capitalize her line claiming to be "the Governor", so I guess it's also technically possible she's just an entirely new renegade Time Lord we've never seen before.

But that got me thinking: aside from the Rani, who is the other most famous antagonist from the Classic Series who has yet to make even a single appearance in the New Series? One who would have every reason to know about the Doctor's future in detail, and one who we know is more than willing to dedicate an inordinate amount of time and resources to hunting him down?

The Valeyard. It may seem out of nowhere, but it would neatly explain everything.

Why does she seem intent on opposing the Doctor? Self-explanatory if she's the Doctor's vengeful dark side.

Why does she know so much about the Doctor's present and future? Because she might well have already lived it; we still don't really know for sure how far in the future the Valeyard originated from. In particular, this would explain why she knows about the Doctor's speech to Conrad, because it was a moment where he engaged in his darker impulses (as much as Conrad absolutely deserved it, telling someone the age at which they're going to die alone in prison is still objectively kinda fucked up).

How is she traveling through time? Either the Doctor's own TARDIS at a different point in its timeline or another one the Valeyard used after escaping at the end of "The Ultimate Foe". (Yes, I know that Big Finish made a canon sequel that ends with him defeated for good, but this would hardly be the first time the TV show contradicted parts of Big Finish.)

It would also explain why she was wearing what looks like Romana I's coat- a coat that would presumably still be in the TARDIS- in the ending of "Empire of Death".

And hell, it would be awfully appropriate for the Valeyard's dramatic return to TV to be A) right as the show is seemingly facing the looming threat of potential cancellation again and B) against the Doctor that was born from bigeneration.

"But wait!" I hear you exclaim. "What about the fourth wall breaks??" And yes, that is definitely the weak link. But consider this: as far as I am aware, there are only two sets of characters on this show who have repeatedly broken the fourth wall in the past. One is the Pantheon (and I will revisit that idea later), but the other is the Doctor themself. It's most obvious with his "I thought that was non-diegetic!" comment back in "The Devil's Chord", but that's not the only time: "Lux" not only reveals that he apparently recognizes episode names like "Blink", but also has him shout "Cut!" and then wonder to the audience who he's talking to. And while it may be a stretch- and few people alive today have seen it in person- "The Dalek's Master Plan" famously has an episode end with the First Doctor turning to the audience and wishing them a happy Christmas. What I am saying is, there is precedent for the Doctor breaking the fourth wall... and thus, presumably, the same could potentially be true of the Valeyard.

So that's my first theory: Mrs. Flood is a new incarnation of the Valeyard, and she's involved in an elaborate revenge plan on the Doctor. And buckle up, because the theories are only going to get wilder from here.

PART 2: The Case of Belinda Chandra

Alright, here we have the part of this theory that made me decide I needed to make this post. I might very well be jumping at shadows, but on the off chance I'm right, I want the receipts to point to the fact that I called it.

So, Belinda Chandra. The big mystery surrounding her is, of course, what is preventing the Doctor from getting her back to May 24th, 2025, and why Earth and the human race appear to have ceased to exist on that day. But that's not the only weird thing about Belinda's circumstances; even though it's not as obvious as with Clara or even Ruby, there's something odd about her situation. Though the Doctor agreed to drop the subject, it's still VERY weird that Belinda's descendant 3000 years removed is so suspiciously identical to her as to be played by the same actress; if they had just shrugged it off as "Hey, you look like her" I could have assumed it didn't mean anything, but the fact that they specifically had the Doctor highlight how unusual it is makes me raise an eyebrow. And while I'm definitely not the only one to point this out, it's worth reiterating that Belinda refers to the Doctor's ship as "the TARDIS" before he ever calls it that on-screen in her earshot. Could he have told her off-screen? Yes, absolutely. But that's a weird detail to leave out, considering how much the series loves to show a new companion getting introduced to the TARDIS.

Now, there's no easy way to ramp into what I'm going to say next. So I think I'm just going to get right into the realization I had the other night that blew my mind so hard that the entire rest of this theory materialized almost fully-formed in my head.

Take a look at our new companion's name: "Belinda Chandra". Now rearrange it with the last name first, like you might see in a database or on some kind of form: "Chandra, Belinda". Do you see anything yet? If not, here's a visual aid:

The first six letters of "HARBINGER", not just all together, but in the right order. All it would take would be her middle name being "Georgina" or "Geraldine" or something else with the letters "GER" in that order- or hell, even having her name be said in a context like "Chandra, Belinda, danger"- and you have the full word.

Am I being paranoid? Almost definitely. But in my defense, I am paranoid by design. So far RTD has snuck "Harbinger" past me twice: once with Harriet (which was admittedly kind of cheating because we never knew her last name), and once with the movie sign. I'm not letting it slip by me again. I am laser-focused for anything that could be shortened to "HARBINGER". And I do not think it is a coincidence that Belinda just so happens to have those letters in her name.

To be clear, I do not think that Belinda knows she's a Harbinger. I think everything she has said to the Doctor is the complete truth, and that she has full memories of her life as a human. If anything, I think she's more like the Susan Triad copies: full individuals who have lived whole lives until the moment their deity needed them. (Yes, I know Susan Triad wasn't technically a Harbinger, but she served more or less the same role as one, so I'm counting her.) I think Belinda is a sleeper agent who will be activated as soon as the Pantheon deity who created her needs her. Maybe Mundy was another version of the same Harbinger who never got that chance, or maybe she really is just a descendant of Belinda and the weird genetic stuff is because of her being a sort of divine creation.

So that's the other theory I think is actually semi-plausible: Belinda is unknowingly the Harbinger of an unspecified Pantheon member.

But now that we have both of these building blocks, we can dive headfirst into the TRUE madness that's kept me up at night the last two days, the theory that will be either the most unhinged, off-base thing I've ever said or the most buckwild called shot in my years of theorizing about pop culture.

PART 3: The Case of the Doctor

The more I thought about the fourth wall issue, the more my mind drifted back to the Pantheon. Aside from the Doctor, they're the only characters in my memory to have this sort of relationship with the fourth wall, and it tends to be WAY stronger with them. With the exception of Sutekh, almost all of the Pantheon members since RTD took back over have had some kind of interaction with the fourth wall: Maestro played the theme song; Lux created mostly-accurate representations of the fandom, implying he knows the actual fandom; and while not seen in the episode itself, the novelization of "The Giggle" has the Toymaker get into a whole conversation about the BBC's rights to the Spice Girls song he sings.

Why is it only these two groups? Why only the Doctor and the Pantheon? If it was just one or the other I could almost shrug it off as a recurring gag, but what is the connective tissue there? Why does the Doctor know the names of real-life episodes? How can he hear the background music? Why does he seem to know where the cameras are to say "Cut" to? Why can he do this thing that only members of the Pantheon can do?

Unless... maybe... just maybe... the Doctor is a Pantheon member, without even realizing it.

I know, I know. This feels like an even crazier version of the Timeless Child reveal, the one that ripped the fandom asunder with furious arguments over its handling. But by the same token... that's kind of what makes this possible. Like it or not, the Timeless Child reveal is still canon; the discussion of it in "Wild Blue Yonder" and "The Church on Ruby Road" confirms that beyond doubt. And now we have a great big mystery left hanging from it: where did the Timeless Child come from? What was on the other side of that portal? Sure, Tecteun said during Flux that they came from the other universe she was trying to move the Division to, but she could easily have been lying, or else merely assuming that to be the case. We have no earthly idea where the Child came from, and the EU has already started dropping some wild ideas (like that one novel which implied that they may or may not have been a Great Vampire). If the show is really in such danger, why not go one step further?

This is where we start to get into the realm where my deranged theories are fueled less by evidence and more by pure vibes. It just feels right, like it's what the last couple seasons- hell, last SEVERAL seasons if we count Chibnall's arc- have been building up to. It would explain the fourth wall commonality. It would explain how the Doctor was able to summon the Pantheon into the universe with a simple invocation of a superstition: he's on the same level as them. It would explain how he's apparently able to set rules for the entire Pantheon. Hell, the name "The Doctor" fulfills the same pattern of "The [X]" used by every Pantheon member except Maestro and Lux (even Sutekh spent most of the season under the given name of "The One Who Waits").

And going off of the previous theory about Belinda, it would tie directly into her role in all this. She's not just a Harbinger, she's the Doctor's Harbinger, thrust into his path right as he's about to rediscover who they really are. Hell, an argument could be made that all of the Doctor's companions, on top of their previously established relationships, have unknowingly also served as pseudo-Harbingers, assigned- either subconsciously by him or by the universe as a whole- into the role of a figure who should be there but isn't. They often serve as go-betweens for humanity to interact more comfortably with this effectively all-knowing ancient being.

Of course, that raises the question, what would the Doctor be the god of? That's where we enter realms of speculation where even I don't venture. But if I had to guess, I would say the God of Time. Aside from the obvious connections, we know that the Time Lords reverse-engineered regeneration from the Timeless Child, and regeneration in general feels like a sort of mirror to history itself: the Doctor changes form and personality while remaining the same fundamental person, just like how history rarely repeats exactly but constantly returns to certain recurring patterns, recycling ideas over and over again. And for that matter, it feels a bit odd that Sutekh- a being who we know for a FACT was not originally a member of the Pantheon- is somehow considered their leader and progenitor. Almost as if he stole a seat intended for someone else...

And for those who are still shaking their heads and scoffing at my admittedly insane theory, allow me to make one last Hail Mary pass at convincing you. See, most of the Pantheon members of the last few seasons have been accompanied by a certain sound: that seven-note pattern, rising and falling, rising and falling. The Toymaker had it, Maestro had it, Lux had it... at this point it's safe to say that it's a hallmark of the Pantheon as a whole.

And the thing is, the Doctor has been accompanied by a certain sound from the very beginning. A sound that rises and falls in a rhythmic pattern, just like the Giggle.

Just imagine it. The reveal happens. The Doctor is confronted with the truth of their origins. And as Fifteen and the audience process it, we hear the sound of the TARDIS's engines... except stretched out into seven segments. A rise and a fall. An arpeggio. A song. A laugh.

"Ha-ha-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha!"

That, right there, is my big, bold swing: the Timeless Child was, and the Doctor is by extension, the God of Time. The finale will involve Fifteen being made aware of this, briefly regaining that power, and then sealing it away again because he prefers to just be who the Doctor has always believed themselves to be: a simple traveler in time and space, passing through, helping out.

I'll be honest, that was originally where I was going to end the post. This has already gotten insanely long and taken several hours to write, and quite frankly there is more than enough here to serve as my receipts for if I'm right (and evidence to have me committed if I'm wrong). But while I was working on this theory, I somehow stumbled ass-backwards into another one, and it's too goddamn good an idea for me to let go of now. So what the hell, let's move on to the ACTUAL final section...

PART 4: The Case of May 24th

Okay, so we have a theory outlined for who all the individual major players are. The Doctor is the God of Time, Belinda is his Harbinger, and Mrs. Flood is the Valeyard, which technically makes her part of the Pantheon as well (and thus neatly explains her own ability to break the fourth wall). But I can't help but feel like we've forgotten something. We've failed to address the single biggest, most obvious driving question of the season: why can't the Doctor take Belinda home? What mysterious force is preventing the TARDIS from landing on May 24th, 2025? What has wiped Earth and the human race out of the timeline in the future? What, ultimately, is Mrs. Flood planning- or, if she's not responsible, what does she know?

I'll be honest: what I am about to say is maybe the most unhinged sentence in this post, and I say that in full knowledge of the fact that I just a few paragraphs earlier suggested that the Doctor is a literal deity. Normally even I wouldn't dare suggest something this absurdly out-there, but the more I stare at the evidence, the more plausible it seems. So here goes:

I believe that the event which is preventing Belinda and the Doctor from getting back to Earth is, in-universe, the cancellation of Doctor Who.

At this point I have almost certainly (and quite frankly rightly) lost the suspension of disbelief of anyone who, by some miracle, is still reading this post. I know, it's a buckwild concept. This would be EASILY the most surreal, bizarre thing the series has ever done, maybe in any medium, and certainly in the TV show. But pretending for just a moment that someone is still with me, allow me to lay out my evidence:

The date of "Wish World" airing being the same date the Earth is seemingly destroyed seems significant. They could have picked the same date the premier aired- that way it would make sense as the day Belinda left from- but no, they chose to set the episode about two months in the future just to have the date line up with the penultimate episode. Yes, I know Moffat did that too in Series 5 and it didn't lead to any meta shenanigans, but the amount of direct fourth wall breaks makes this alignment feel... different, somehow.

On that front, this would be the perfect culmination of the fourth wall breaking shenanigans that the Pantheon have been involved in. We've gone from the Maestro playing the theme song (something Twelve also did, by the way, in case you needed any more parallels to the Pantheon) to Lux straight-up trapping the Doctor in a room with Doctor Who fans. The Pantheon are straight-up metafictional entities; the Doctor even describes them as "forces beyond this universe" that "look down" on reality, which is the perfect way to describe individuals operating on a higher layer of narrative than the Whoniverse. What better way could there be to top this off than with the Doctor fighting against the very forces of executive disapproval that are threatening to erase his universe's future?

And speaking of Mrs. Flood, she practically spells this out in "Lux". When the Doctor and Belinda disappear in the TARDIS, she warns one of the onlookers that the show has a "limited run" and ends on May 24th. Yes, in context she's doing wordplay about the theatrical setting of the episode and the fact that the Earth apparently gets destroyed on that date, but Mrs. Flood is also a character who is aware of the audience; she would know the potential double meaning there. If a character like her starts saying shit like "the show's ending soon", I start looking for a meta angle.

The erasure of humanity also feels like something very, very odd for the Whoniverse. It's made clear numerous times that humans are practically ubiquitous in the far future. They're by far the most populous of the remaining sapient species by the end of time. They spread out across the cosmos and never stop. Them being erased from history without the Doctor noticing the change simply makes no sense. Sure, we've seen alternate timelines where humanity gets wiped out (Pyramids of Mars), and we've seen incidents where the Doctor arrives only after time has already been changed (The Long Game), but both at the same time?? And such a MASSIVE alteration that would no doubt prevent countless fixed points in time from ever coming to pass?? No, whatever did this is FAR beyond anything we've ever seen.

And finally, this feels like the most fitting possible conflict for the season finale's title: "The Reality War". As in, a war against "reality". A conflict not against an in-universe foe, but against forces within the real world: the forces of executive meddling and fan negativity that threaten to pull the plug on the show just like in 1989. In fact, this is the kind of story that could ONLY be told right here, right now: when the presence of the Pantheon allows the series to tell more fantastical stories than ever before, and when the rumors of cancellation are swirling faster than usual. And hey, if the show is already treading water with the executives, why not go out with the biggest bang imaginable?

And thus, we arrive at the end of my theories. I'm taking a gamble, and I'm calling my shot. If I'm wrong, I will sit with pride upon my throne of shame. But if somehow I am right- if I somehow manage to guess the biggest, most insane twist in the history of the show- then I want you all to remember that you fucking heard it here first.

The season finale will involve the Valeyard, in the form of Mrs. Flood, attempting to get Doctor Who cancelled in order to spite the Doctor, only for the day to be saved by the Doctor, God of Time, with the aid of his Harbinger, Belinda Geraldine(?) Chandra.

And with that, I can no longer justify dragging this post out any longer. Thank you all for coming to my TARDIS Talk.

[arimiaromage]

thoughts about dgm chapter 251

gonna throw my thoughts about these new revelations here.

bookman jr or past!allen?

she got us good! I was in shock when I first read it (all my headcanons about pasta, out the window! thrown! chunked!) but now I'm more fine with it.

I believe what happened was that hoshino drew the bookman jr in those flashbacks with nea on purpose - she wanted us to think that was allen and bookman jr. the flashbacks aren't past!allen with longer hair, this is definitely the bookman jr, as we can tell now.

it also makes more sense now why "allen" was talking about high concepts like the spiral being the force for life - it really was a bookman!

I fully think she did this switcharoo on purpose. if we look at her most recent livestream (translated by ponkotsubluuues), someone comments that they were shocked past!allen and bookman jr weren't the same person. her response is basically "yes, I know". she's not surprised people would think that, this was probably deliberately on purpose.

bookman jr & past!allen

okay, now on to some thoughts on who they actually are. I won't stick long here as we'll probably find out in just a few months and we don't have much to go on right now.

personally, I don't really care to ever meet allen's blood relatives. it's never interested me who he's "actually" related to and I always felt it would add even more complicated feelings for him and even more complexity to an already messy as hell family & relationship tree.

that being said, I wouldn't be surprised if bookman jr and allen are some kind of family unit, be it blood related or not. when they begin talking about the two of them as separate people, lucia refers to them as "two young men". so they're probably not father and son, but I could see them as brothers or some sort of brotherhood if they're not blood related.

maybe past!allen is a traveling clown who toured the world with bookman jr LOL.....?

either way, bookman jr was so compelled to protect allen & nea that he gave his life for them. I'm so, so eager to see their bond.

cross marian

who the hell is cross marian in all of this?

we know the cross has been around since almost adam's time, having been with mana and nea since they were children-

so we know that regardless of who is he, he's known about and visited the campbell manor for decades.

in this chapter, they even bring him up by name.

not only does allen ask about him, but lucia talks a bit about him as well.

and note that they're not saying something like "my master left a message for me" and lucia just goes along with it- allen says "my master cross" and lucia continues by saying his full name. she knows exactly who he's talking about.

(allen specifically says "cross shishou" = "master cross" but lucia called him "cross marian")

to me, this is one of the main reasons I don't believe cross is bookman jr. I believe he's somehow tied to the bookman, but I don't think he's the missing jr. if he was, why does lucia refer to him as cross here but not later? she clearly knows who allen is referring to, so wouldn't the bookman have searched for cross and found him with relative ease, given he was at the order for quite a while with bookman & lavi up until apocryphos attacked him?

lucia and the master only refer to bookman jr as "junior", not cross marian. if you're desperately looking for cross marian and are fully aware allen knows who that is, then why not call him that? what do you have to lose at this point?

and furthermore, if cross was this bookman jr, how did he forget who HE made the host? how did he lose allen? redarm!allen looks a lot more like this new past!allen and they both have redish brown hair - if you were traveling with this guy, you should be able to recognize him even if he's de-aged like 8 years, ESPECIALLY once mana takes him in and his hair becomes styled the exact same way.

I know we always have the deus ex machina of apocryphos' memory changing but I really don't want that to be the case for every character, the more you do it the more it becomes a contrivance.

cross definitely has SOME connection to the bookman, I don't feel like his mask and knowledge of bookman things is entirely a red herring. lucia makes it sound like cross reached out to them regarding the campbell manor, but I'll get to that in a bit.

the other leading theory is that cross is cyrus campbell, katerina's brother and head of the family. I feel like this holds a bit more water than him being a bookman, as it'd explain why he was the campbell manor when mana and nea were so young (and presumably before nea became a noah) and why he has worked so tirelessly for both of them.

remember, his innocence maria greatly resembles katerina. it's possible this is katerina's corpse, being infested by innocence. maybe this is from innocence cross was carrying finding its way to her corpse or maybe it was a failed attempt to save her, we don't really know yet.

(I'm not fully convinced about the cyrus theory either though, as why does nea refer to cross as cross instead of cyrus or uncle? how would the order not know about his family and how obviously tied to the noah he is? how could he not recognize allen, his nephew's most trusted friend?)

there have been some theories that maybe the campbells are a bookman family, which may be the case and would help explain why cross has a connection to both, but the way lucia words this part makes me think otherwise.

she makes it sound like the campbell manor wasn't always under their jurisdiction, that it came to be that way but wasn't always. but that might be pulling at straws. I just don't think she'd word it this way if cross = bookman jr.

I'm not fully convinced about either theory about cross as I see holes in both of them. just have to wait and see~

personally I'd still like it if cross was just a childhood friend who got way too attached but we'll see 😂 or maybe he was just pining for katerina from afar....

crown clown

I feel pretty confident now that this is past!allen being hugged by bookman jr, possibly for the last time / as bookman jr's way to protect him.

but I also can't help but feel.... it reminds me of crowned clown, you know? the way it wraps around allen, covering him in an attempt to protect him. even the cut off tips. it really reminds me of that.

the bookman are no stranger to innocence. we also don't know when allen acquired his innocence- did past!allen have it? or...... did bookman jr give it to him as he was dying? did he think it would protect him and nea (and why would he give a noah innocence)?

I would not be surprised if there was some connection between bookman jr and allen's innocence.

allen

I absolutely loved this part.

the pure conviction in his face. no regrets. he finally has a chance to clear up his mind, to cast away the fear he's dealt with for so long about who he actually is. so, so good.

but........ WHO IS ALLEN WALKER????? the burning question. who knows at this point.

I'm very excited to see the next parts, even if it apparently isn't the 35 year flashback (her own words, from the aforementioned livestream) - I assume it'll be a flashback to past!allen meeting nea possibly, or them finding out nea isn't a typical noah, or some major event that happened before shit went down.

yeah that's about it, see yall next time ✌️

[bitethedevil]

Raphael and his Morals: The Analysis Where I Sound Like A Devil Apologist

I see Raphael being characterized as a selfish power-hungry character a lot. And I mean, he definitely is! Don’t get me wrong. I just also think there are more layers to that, so I want to make a little analysis on the deeper level of what kind of rationalization goes through his head when it comes to the whole tadpole business and the Crown of Karsus.  

The Pact Primeval

I think that the Pact Primeval is pretty important to understand when it comes to a general understanding of devils. There are multiple versions of this tale, though the one I will go through is the one that the devils tell each other (you can find all of this in Fiendish Codex II).

So basically, in the beginning of everything there was chaos. Out of that chaos came the demons. Lawful deities began to fight that chaos but eventually they got tired of it because there was seemingly an endless supply of demons. The deities couldn’t be bothered anymore because they wanted to make the world and it’s creatures and all of that instead. They then created angels and were like “cool, you go kill all the demons while we have fun making the world”.

One of those angels was Asmodeus. He was described as both beautiful and fierce, and he was amazing at what he did. The trouble was that the more the angels fought the demons, the more traits they came to share with them to fight them more efficiently. They turned ugly and twisted too because the demons they fought were so.

The deities then saw how they had changed, and all said “ew” in unison and said that they did not want those twisted beings living anywhere near them. They tried to banish Asmodeus and the other angels from the Heavens.

Asmodeus was not having that (and understandably so imo). There came a trial and Asmodeus essentially pointed out that “hey, I actually just did what I was made for, and I did it pretty damn well too. We’ve only dirtied our hands so yours can stay clean. If we are to be lawful beings, then this charge is absolutely bullshit”. Asmodeus could “wield the law like a knife” and the deities had to admit that what he was saying was right, so they couldn’t do much.

Eventually, the deities had made intelligent beings and to protect these beings, they made barriers between them and the demons. To their horror, the deities saw that some of the intelligent beings they had so carefully tried to protect, insisted on breaking these barriers and letting demons into their world. The gods were confused and exasperated at this and weren’t sure how to stop them.

That is where out boy Asmodeus comes in with a plan: There should be punishments for those who disobey the gods, or else there will continue to be chaos. So, Asmodeus, Mephistopheles and Dispater, along with the other twisted angels went out and punished the wrong doers.

As these tortured and punished people trickled into the Heavens after their death, the deities once again all said “ew” and pulled in Asmodeus to answer for this. They did not want those punished mortals in their realm, so Asmodeus came with another solution: basically, creating the Hells. All he wanted in return was to be able to draw power from the souls of those he punishes, since they (the twisted angels) cannot draw power from the deities while being separated from them

The gods all agreed and signed what would be known as the Pact Primeval which held these terms. The gods then freak out when they find out that what has now become the devils of the Hells encourage people to do wrong so that they end up in the Hells. When confronted with this by the angry gods who tell him that he can’t possibly be doing this, Asmodeus simply smiles and answers: Read the fine print.

The Morals of Devils

Essentially, devils are focused on the larger picture always. They are basically worker ants. I’ve spoken about this before. The Hells are hierarchical, and everyone has a job to do. Everyone eventually fights in the Blood War and contributes to the greater cause. They are simultaneously aware that they are a part of something greater than themselves AND they also want to further their own ambitions and climb the ladder through promotion.

The main objective is always the Blood War between devils and demons. Defeating the demons have been the point since before the Pact Primeval. In their own minds, they technically are doing good. Defeating chaos is good. It’s the whole point. Now, the ways that they might achieve that might not be good, but that is again the focus on the grander picture that comes in. If a mortal asked a devil why they do as they do, they would tell them that they are the only thing that stands between them and absolute chaos. An honorable cause reached with truly dishonorable means (such as when Asmodeus lures more souls to the Hells to gain power to his war against the demons).

Raphael

Raphael is serving himself with his goal of wanting the Crown but perhaps not entirely for pure power-hungry reasons. Yes, he wants power, but he also shows this exact idea of a devil’s tendency to look at the greater picture. He does say in the end that he wants to end the Blood War (which…yeah. That’s great honey, have fun with that. If all of the gods and Asmodeus failed to do so, a little Crown probably won’t do much). I am of the belief that conquering the Hells could be possible but ending the Blood War seems damn near impossible.

But my point stands: he is concerned with the state of the Hells, and he wants to be the one who fixes all of it, which would no doubt give him a lot of devil cookie-points and clout. It would show daddy dearest and everyone who doubted him that he is good at Being A Devil™.

Even if he just gives us the Hammer and we don’t follow through on giving him the Crown of Karsus, he has still done a lot for the Hells. Raphael and the rest of the Hells are not interested in everyone becoming mindflayers (and thus soulless).

That is the very reason why he detests the Emperor so much and mistrusts him. He does not want us to trust someone who enjoys being a mindflayer like he does, because he knows it leads to someone, if not everyone, losing their soul and thus valuable power to the Hells.

This is all just to say that yes, Raphael is a power-hungry narcissist, but he is also simply a cog in a very large machine. If anything, it is actually surprising that there weren’t more devils in the story who were concerned with how everything was turning out.

There is more nuance to him than simply wanting the Crown and becoming Archdevil Supreme for his own selfish goals. He is simply acting on the morals of what everyone around him has fed him his whole life: that you should work hard and be ambitious so that you can further the cause. The real tragic flaw, however, is that if they actually achieved winning the Blood War, they would simply become the new demons because they have become so much like them by fighting them all those years.

And if Raphael has been fed the same version of the Pact Primeval as mentioned above, it’s no wonder that he is so surprisingly chill about Mystra getting the Crown of Karsus. He sees the gods as incompetent snobs who can’t get anything done properly (and let’s be real here, with what I know of them, I sort of agree), and he knows that eventually they will all start their infighting again at some point.

The biggest overarching problem with Raphael’s plans is the same as his father’s and all the other devils. It���s the fact that they understand the bigger picture but believe that if they had more power then they would be more capable of achieving it than those already in power. It’s this idea that the ones above you are simply incompetent at reaching a goal that is essentially impossible. The demons will keep coming no matter what, but they all believe that they would win if they became the next Asmodeus.

You see it when Raphael mentions that his father is “naught more than a frigid archivist”. Could there be a reason for that, pookie? Could there be a reason as to why Mephistopheles won’t use the Crown? Could it be that Hells greatest wizard might have a better grasp on such things than his son? No, nope, daddy is just being stupid and incompetent.

It’s all arrogance. From a sort of natural selection viewpoint, it makes sense. This arrogance makes the devils more ambitious and thus they work harder as the little worker ants that they are, but the downside is that they will make the exact same mistakes as many before them.

[pandaofsecrets]

This convo got me thinking about how Ozai being a good parent and husband would actually be like (and how little that would actually change things), so here's the basics of the AU. It follows comics continuity because I think it's more impactful that way, and also because I really don't want to write two AUs for the price of one.

Okay, so first of all, how do we get here? Let's say that instead of Ozai becoming narcissistic as a coping mechanism (unlikely, but bear with me), he just kinda gives up trying to "prove his worth" and distances himself from his father and brother, distrusting them and trying to avoid their attention as much as he can.

Anyway, Azulon hears about the prophecy and wants Ozai married to Ursa, which. So much for not attracting attention. Azulon's logic here is that while he does want those strong firebenders, he doesn't want any of Roku's line to actually inherit the throne. So, marrying Ursa to his out-of-favor second son it is.

Needless to say, neither Ozai nor Ursa are exactly jazzed about the marriage. They're both essentially forced into it, and Ursa was already seeing someone, thank you very much. But they both figure that it's for the good of their country and that they can't really leave anyway, so they might as well try to make it work. Ozai works to make Ursa as comfortable as possible, and she cooperates with him as much as she can. A few months or so into the marriage, Ursa is pregnant with Zuko.

This is when Ursa notices that no one is replying to her letters. No one at all. Not Ikem, not her friends, and not even her parents. Like, she knows mail is slow, but it's been almost half a year at this point. Her parents at least should've written back by now. So, she does a little detective work, and puts together that Ozai is intercepting her letters.

Unsurprisingly, Ursa is pissed. She'd just begun to like Ozai, and he went and tore her heart into confetti. Incredibly betrayed (and also hormonal as all fuck), Ursa comes up with the very smart idea of writing a letter to Ikem in which she pretty much confesses to cheating on Ozai, reasoning that would hurt him pretty bad.

As Ursa expected, Ozai gets the letter and barges into the room, demanding to know what the hell she was thinking. "I knew it!" she goes. "I knew you've been intercepting my letters!" Ozai is like "Count yourself lucky it was me. What if it was my father? How would you have even begun to explain this to him?" He goes on to remind her that she was to give up contact with everyone outside of court, including her parents. He doesn't like his father's orders any more than she does, but he has to enforce them. He then burns the letter, telling Ursa that she can see whoever she wants, do whatever she wants, but she had better not let Zuko get caught up in any of it. Ozai makes a point to call Zuko his child, both because Ursa's letter did hurt him, and as a way to imply he cares about Zuko and Ursa doesn't.

A couple of hours later, both are feeling bad about the whole debacle. Ursa goes to see Ozai, who's in the middle of his usual "dealing with his angst by training until he straight-up collapses" routine, and they have a chat. Ozai apologizes for trying to imply she doesn't care about Zuko and for putting her in this position in the first place, and admits that he should've talked to her instead of going behind her back like that. Ursa swears she wasn't trying to get them in trouble, she was just so hurt by his actions that she wasn't thinking straight. Ozai promises her he'll find a way for her to contact and maybe even see her parents, so long as she promises to try and be less reckless. She agrees.

I'm skipping around a lot over things I haven't thought of in detail, so cut to a few years later. Zuko is around 7 and has just started his firebending lessons, Azula is around 5, and everything seems to be going pretty good. And then Azula starts firebending as well. Not only that, but she turns out to be a prodigy. Oops.

Ozai being Ozai, he immediately goes for damage control. He holds back Azula's progress under the pretext that it's going to be better for her in the long run, discourages her from attracting attention, and is generally very cagey whenever the subject of her bending is brought up. This is in sharp contrast to Azulon and to her teachers, who praise her for her talents and encourage her to develop her skills. So, naturally, Azula is really confused. If she's so great, why doesn't her father ever acknowledge it? This is made worse by the fact that Ozai can't really explain to Azula why he does things the way he does. So he just comes off as an unreasonable tyrant, which is. You know. Not at all the impression he wanted Azula to have of him. He knows what it's like to be the secondborn who is disliked by their parent, he never wanted to do that to his own child. It honestly feels like the universe is out to get him at this point.

So Azula becomes increasingly recalcitrant, and Ozai resolves to just give her space for the time being, spending more time with the one child who isn't fighting him at every turn. Seeing this as a rejection, Azula takes whatever pent-up rage she can't direct at Ozai and starts directing it at Zuko, meaning Ozai is put in a position where he has to protect one of his children from the other. Ursa tries her hardest to pick up the pieces, but that just ends with Azula writing her off as well. Azula also becomes aware of the fact that Ozai and Ursa are both pretty much powerless against Azulon, and that's where the fun begins.

It's a crappy situation all around, but it's about to get worse. Lu Ten dies and Iroh is about to return home from the Siege of Ba Sing Se, so Azulon tells Ozai that he has to give Azula to Iroh. Ozai is like, yep, there it is. There's the moment I've been dreading ever since I got married. Because due to the way this whole eugenics experiment worked, his children were never truly his. Azulon's vested interest in them meant Ozai never had any control over his own family, and Zuko and Azula were always going to be taken away from him sooner or later. But before Ozai can say anything, Azulon drops the bombshell on him. He has to kill Zuko, too. Ozai is like, fuck this. He doesn't care that Zuko was a failed experiment or whatever, that's his son. But he knows by now that his father cannot be reasoned with, so he asks Azulon to wait until Iroh comes home, buying himself time to figure out what to do. Surprisingly, Azulon agrees.

Ozai then goes to Ursa and tells her the tale of what just happened. Ursa goes, yeah, no, we can't afford to wait until Iroh comes back. Because even if they did, Zuko would still die. Ozai is like, well, there's gotta be something we can do. And that's when Ursa gets an idea. She briefly considers telling Ozai, but quickly thinks better of it. Patricide is a strong word. She knows Ozai wouldn't approve, so if she wants something done, she's gotta do it herself. Instead, she just says she knows a way, and leaves Ozai to mope.

Next morning, the palace is in chaos. Azulon just kicked the bucket, Iroh is away, and everyone is looking to Ozai for leadership. Ozai has a chat with Ursa and is like "You did this, didn't you?" Ursa is all "I don't know what you're talking about", and Ozai asks her if she really thinks he's that stupid. He then encourages her to get the heck out of Dodge, because someone is definitely going to trace this back to her and then they'll all be in big trouble, her especially. Ursa counters that she's not the same reckless woman she was 8 years ago, and that she made sure to cover all her bases this time, pinning the blame on supposed Earth Kingdom assassins. They sit in silence for a bit, and then Ozai confesses he can't believe Azulon is dead, and that he doesn't know whether to be relieved or to hate Ursa for murdering him. Ursa says that everything she's done, she's done to protect her family.

So Ozai basically becomes interim Fire Lord while waiting for Iroh to come back, and he does a pretty good job, having basically been acting Crown Prince ever since he came of age (with all of the responsibility and none of the credit, because Azulon was a dick like that). From here the AU can go any number of ways, from Iroh immediately taking over as Fire Lord, to him giving up his claim to the title, to Iroh trying to give up his claim and Ozai refusing.

I don't know if I'm ever going to actually write this AU, so I'm leaving this here, I guess? Lmk what you think.

[kanmom51]

PJM2 is coming

MUSE

I literally cannot contain my excitiement.

Sitting her, at work may I say, putting these words on paper, so to speak, because f***ing hell, wtf JM?

Where to start?

The colour concepts? The choice of name? Choice of font (That JM popping to eye)? The flower? The links to TTU (notes sheet and flower)? The whole play with Closer than this? The dropped lyrics?

This man is a friggin genius (not that we didn't know this already)...

There is so much to talk about, and he hasn't even started with the promotions, and we haven't even seen the concept photos or the album and the songs. Name, colours, 2 lines of lyrics and we have our hands full already. They certainly know what they are doing.

Before I jump in, I want to, once again, state very loudly and clearly that everything written here are my opinions, which are based on what we've been handed so far, and could change the more we are shown.

So, let's get it...

JM fetching this from the purple locker (which we don't see are purple off the bat and only when the lights turn on). Notes for The Truth Untold.

His wittle thumb with his crescent moon.

The notes title : La lettra - The letter. Hmm... interesting.

And then this:

We have the flower:

and this that makes me believe that yes indeed, it is the silhouette of a Smeralso.

Some of this I am yet to see where is going. like the referencing of "the letter", The truth untold, the flower... (she says, all while thinking of the choice this Festa to stream LY Seoul final with said song and the changes that JM and JK chose to make to it)...

All that and more in one little short clip.

And then we have that little 'chat' opened up by BH, and those lyrics. Oh, those lyrics.

All references that indeed can be connected with army. I mean, that's what JM is king of.

All also a clear reference to a one Jeon Jungkook, if you are only willing to look and see.

Rain

Snow

Crying

We have this:

Which they have BOTH chose to bring up once again in 2023, JK happening to do so during JM's Face promos, not to mention the rain reference in SNTY (and of course, goes without saying Still with you, but that's back in 2020, while they have both managed to bring it up and reference it once again in 2023).

Remember this?

Oh, and what about this?

And then we have these:

Remember JM tearing up after winning MMA for BS&T ?

JM getting emotional and crying only followed by JK tearing up.

*If you haven't seen this one yet, go watch the full live.

And who can forget JK during MOTS ONE as well, seeing JM crying, distress clearly showing on his face, just waiting for the moment he can go and comfort JM.

If these are actual lyrics for a song to come or lyrics that were dropped, one thing we know, and that these words, these lines, they were written by JM, and he made a clear choice to share them with us.

And in doing so, sorry, I'm still not believing this all while sitting here gushing and knowing this was coming (no, I didn't know this specifically was coming, but the feeling that they were going big or going home, that I've had ever since July 2023... took some time and many tribulations, but we are getting there folks). Sidetracked as I always am, lol.

Back on track.... in doing so, JM is basically standing on a rooftop screaming at the top of his lungs:

Not 1, not 2, but 3 JK references in that little shared piece of lyrics clearly written by JM, for an album we are yet to see and hear.

Anyone, and I mean anyone that is a BTS army, that has seen original content, that has followed their Twitter account or seen older tweets, that are open and willing to see it, will KNOW that these lyrics are JAYKAY!!!!!

And let me backtrack a second here...

Cause I did mention that these references could be understood as if they are made for army, right?

So yeah. Army references or JK references? I am going to say both, leaning very much to the JK side of it. Cause that's how they do it. Time after time after time.

Let's mention the colour choices as well.

We have the background colours.

We have the yellow.

And then we have the album concepts.

2 concepts.

Blooming

and Serenade.

Which happens to be Yellow, same colour threaded through Serendipity.

And we even have purple thrown in there too.

Notice how all the lockers are painted purple. The colour of army you may say, but also JK's colour (so again, army and JK?).

And he's pulling out the music sheet from this purple locker.

Those lockers representing his inspiration for his music perhaps?

Giving us these lyrics, then telling us the album is called Muse (or telling us the name of the album and it's meaning and then dropping those lyrics, take your pick regarding the timing, cause basically, same same), showing us the music being extracted from those purple lockers... ya think his muse is that entity he's talking about in those lyrics perhaps (even more so if we see the references as both for army and JK)?

Rhetorical question, btw.

And then we have the mint green.

Perhaps this is what JM was talking about when he told us in his birthday live, if memory serves me right, about going to the starting point, or more so starting from the beginning trying to figure out himself as an artist?

Also, cannot help but think of this image here:

I cannot wait to see his concept photos, and where this is all going.

We talked about JK being so loud during 2023 (well, he's had his super loud moments before that, but 2023 and his lives were smoking). And JM, well it felt (and I say felt, cause it's not really true, and I'll explain why) was quieter, more subdued, especially during JK's Golden promotions.

But here's the thing.

JM and JK have their own special oh so different ways of being loud and showing us themselves (and it shows even more so seeing that JK, for whatever reasons he had for it, did not write his songs for Golden - not saying he did not have influence on the lyrics or choice of songs with lyrics he wanted). JK did it through his choices in his photo shoots and styling for his songs and album. He did it with his lives and his total fanboying over JM. And JM, he does it through his art, which includes also but not only his lyrics.

Those two are both loud as fuck. And JM, well if these sneak lyrics are a promo of more to come (which, they probably are seeing that we have Face to fall back on as an example), then he's as loud as a frigging foghorn.

And last but not least, before I go:

Lookie here...

D-31

[psy--conic]

Reading the Iliad, Book 16 thoughts

This is my first time ever reading it and I know next to nothing abt greek mythology so if I interpret anything wrong by all means pls correct me

Im reading the Robert Fagles translation

Patroclus has his moment in the sun. Too bad the god of the sun doesn't like him all that much

Haven't finished the book but I'm pretty sure this is my favorite chapter

Patroclus makes it back to Achilles' tent in full-blown tears and instead of being helpful Achilles says "You're crying like a little girl clinging to her mother's skrits and that's really uncool of you."

LMAO like Achilles wasn't doing the fucking same in book one

Achilles then wonders if Patroclus has heard news back from Phthia, maybe one of their fathers dying.

Patroclus basically tells him that it's a shit show out in the camp and things are not looking good for them.

This man even gives Achilles the benefit of the doubt and asks him if there's some prophecy Achilles hasn't told him about that is barring him from fighting. Achilles is like "Agamemnon disrespected me and it's not deeper than that tbh"

Bro..

I feel like we have to give Achilles his flowers here bc if he isn't anything else he's committed to the bit THAT MAN IS NO QUITTER. In the worst way possible ofc

Achilles calls Patroclus "My Prince🥹" IM FINNA CRY

Then we get into the whole "Put me in your armor" thing and Homer writes Patroclus as "condemned to beg for his own death" so we love that ig

Achilles tells Patroclus to NOT fight Hector and to just push the Trojans away from the ships and to definitely NOT try to take Troy without him.

Achilles stresses that Apollo may kill Pat if he does any of those things.

Honey, you got a big storm coming..

"Sure" - Pat

Jump back to Ajax (greater) bc he's kinda on the ropes, he's tired, he's being swamped, he's struggling

Achilles sees this and he's like "Okay hurry up and get out there NOW"

Patroclus takes every piece of Achilles armor except for the shield and the spear because no man besides Achilles can even lift them

Achilles assembles the Mrymidons into 5 battalions, led by 5 men I don't feel like naming to all be led under Patroclus and Automedon

While they ride off into battle Achilles goes into a chest of his and pulls out a super nice cup, fills it with wine, and prays to Zeus while pouring it on the ground

He prays for two things: "That the Mrymidons push the enemy back AND for the safe return of Patroclus." Zeus only grants one of these wishes

Take a wild guess which one🥲

Okay so Patroclus literally kills 15 people consecutively... AS IN ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER

Sarpedon sees Patroclus going wild and he decides that he really doesn't like that so he hops off his chariot and begins making his way toward Pat.

Patroclus hops off his chariot to meet him halfway

Zeus is stressed as hell bc he doesn't want his son to die so he wrestles with the urge to just sprit Sarpedon away from the battlefield and away from danger

Hera tells him that he absolutely cannot do that because all the gods will hate his ass if he pulls a move like that PLUS he changes fate which means that all the other gods would do it too

But does Ahprodite not pull that move like every other chapter? No one's up her ass about it so why can't Zeus

Zeus is literally crying tears of blood but he says ok

Sarpedon and Pat start going at each other, and both miss a couple of spear throws at each other until Patroclus picks up his spear, lunches it, and hits Sarpedon square in the chest.

Rip Sarpedon

Glaucus calls out for Apollo to heal his arm (bc Teucer shot him in it) Apollo heals him so he grabs a bunch of ppl to protect Sarpedon's body from being stripped

Patroclus goes to both Ajax's and tells them that Sarpedon is dead and that they have to get his armor/keep pushing the Trojans back.

More fighting, more dying

I noticed that Homer was actually talking to Patroclus during this book ("Patroclus O my rider, you did [insert action here]) I think this is the first time he does this so far (correct me if I'm wrong)

Anyway, ppl are still fighting over Sarpedon. Zeus is watching from afar and he just can't decide when Patroclus should die but he says "Not yet"

😔please stop

The Greeks end up stripping Sarpedon's body anyway

The Trojan army is shaking in their boots bc holy shit Patroclus is kinda fucking insane rn. Even Hector wants to go home at this point

The Greeks end up pushing the Tojans ALL the way back to the walls of Troy

Patroclus tries (and fails) three times to mount one of the towers BUT Apollo is a cheater and keeps knocking him down

Homer says Troy would have been taken that day if Apollo had not intervened.

On his fourth attempt to scale this fucking tower Apollo knocks Pat away again and yells "BRO THIS ISN'T EVEN UR DESTINY GO TF AWAY." 😭😭 wtf

"Okay my bad" - Patroclus🧍🏾‍♂️

Hector is inside the gates of Troy and bro does NOT wanna go back out there rn

This whole poem is just Hector not wanting to even be there and I don't blame him

Apollo comes to Hector in the form of his uncle and encourages him to get back on the battlefield bc Glory or something idk

*Sigh* so Hector rides out and makes a B-line straight for Patroclus....

Pat throws a rock at Hector which ends up hitting the guy driving his chariot right in the head and pops his fucking eyeballs out of their sockets.

Patroclus laughs at him and taunts his corpse.

So now it's just Hector and Patroclus and they end up having this game of tug o war with the guy's body which the Greeks also win

Patroclus kills 27 MORE people

Apollo steps in and shit hit the fan yet again. He knocks Pat's helmet off and then starts fucking up Achilles' armor basically leaving him exposed to attack.

THEY ARE FUCKING JUMPING MY GOAT PATROCLUS

A random man throws a spear which lands in Patroclus's back and he falls forward

Hector walks up as Patroclus is trying to claw his way back to safety and stabs him in the stomach

Hector starts shit talking. And I like Hector don't get me wrong but bro you were just pissing urself about having to fight this man like a paragraph ago???

But does Patroclus go out like a bitch? NO. He looks at Hector and says "You didn't earn this kill and we both know that. TEWNTY Hectors wouldn't be able to bring me down, Apollo is the one who killed me not you and Achilles is gonna rock ur shit soon enough♥️." And Hector is like "🤨?"

LIKE HELLO??? HE FUCKING ATE THAT

And then he dies

When the one character I read the book for in the first place barely had any screentime and the one time they do they end up fucking dying

Rip to the babygirl ig

[irrealisms]

hi! yr probably not lookin for asks anymore, but. what's your lifesteal elevator pitch? i know absolutely nothing abt it or any of the folks on the server except the vague things i've absorbed frm reading yr analysis as it crosses my dash, but it compels me, etc.+ also merry christmas! <33 🎄🌟

good news: i am always looking for asks

bad news: my parents DID go to sleep and i was able to wrap presents and put them beneath the tree and so on, so i wasn't going to do more asks tonight

good news again: i actually already have a lifesteal pitch. in a google doc. bc i'm normal

the pitch does assume you're basically already into mcrp and just curious about lifesteal in specific BUT we went to dsmp together so this works out

I really love shitty little tryhards causing problems via impressive feats of minecraft, and lifesteal is full of those. if you like people being good at minecraft, I really recommend lifesteal--in s2, clownpierce was top 50 worldwide at crystal pvp, and now he's washed and in s6 there are 2-3 (depending on who you ask) lifestealers who are better than him at pvp (admittedly maybe not at crystal); in s4, there's some stuff that's impressive in ~vanilla (eg parrot wins a 1v1 while on one heart) and some stuff that's impressive through exploits/social stuff (eg a group of people use a glitch + social engineering to get /op and prove to mojang that the glitch is a security issue that needs patched). every season is like this! lifestealers have backdoored the server 3 seasons in a row (s3-5). for a more recent weird Lifestealer Behavior, rekrap and jumper filled in every end portal room and built new fake ones to make it look like the world glitched and generated without them. lifesteal is weird and constantly coming up with new weird yet impressive things to do. a lot of stuff that's currently banned on lifesteal (F3+A, pie ray) are things i only learned were possible from lifesteal. (on the flip side i'd say: if you are not into shitty little tryhards making weird impressive clickbait, you probably won't like lifesteal, although you may still like hearing about it from time to time.)

related to them being shitty little tryhards causing problems: the rules are...more of a suggestion. getting around the rules, and hiding from the server owner and/or other players that you're doing so, is often part of the fun of lifesteal! (see also the thing where i mentioned that it's been backdoored three seasons in a row.) if that's intriguing: check it out. if not: once again, you have been warned.

lifesteal absolutely has lore and some people roleplay on it, there is nonzero c/cc divide, but it's more like traffic life than, say, late dsmp--it's fully improv, not scripted, and even more than traffic life it is genuinely adversarial. you can sometimes be confident that someone is in character but you can never be sure if someone is out of character, on lifesteal-- things like "going to someone's house irl to turn off their computer" or "lying about your homework/school/sleep schedule" or "changing your entire discord layout so that when you DM someone they think you're someone else" or "claiming you need their footage of an event for your video when actually you just want to see where their spawn point is" are all things that have been done on lifesteal that are considered fair game! everything on lifesteal is real; sometimes this goes well, sometimes it doesn't, but both are interesting to see imo because they are real

partially for this reason and partially for other reasons, lifesteal is fascinating to me as a piece of unique storytelling? a lot of mcyt is doing interesting things with its medium and being improv, lifesteal's not fully unique in that, but definitely if you like that you might like lifesteal. along with the improv, there's the fact that many lifestealers lie about what actually happened in their videos (comparing different videos with the vods, or in some cases with "what people say in various vods" when events weren't streamed, gives some fascinating insights imo--how do people frame their stories? how honest are they? what do they blatantly lie about, what do they gloss over or omit, what do they include in full? who, if anyone, do they see as the heroes or villains? whose videos agree with each other, and whose present a totally different story?), and the fact that conflict about "where do we want the story to go next, what do we think would be an interesting video/the best ending" is often the driving motive for in-character wars and conflicts! if you're interested at all in lifesteal and storytelling, check out barrier blocks part 2 by @mering/@myrmica, which is a deep dive on eclipse federation and the end of lifesteal s4 (those are my special guys); it dips into some academic game studies and it's really, really good. i genuinely cannot recommend it highly enough. (part one is also real good for non-lifesteal-specific discussion of mcrp!)

if you want a more specific plot summary (esp of s4) and/or "how do i actually, like, watch this" (of any seasons): hmu! but that's my pitch. also, read barrier blocks

[the-ace-with-spades]

This is related to @im-not-batman reminding me this post exists with a reblog but can be read as stand alone thingy

So, after all is done and TGM events happen and Bradley reconciles with Mav, introducing to him officially Jake as his husband and Daisy as their adopted daughter, Mav tries to catch up on what he missed of Bradley's life as best as possible.

And Mav asks if he can see some pictures from their wedding. The wedding that didn't exist because Bradley and Jake, although happily married now, only got married as quickly as they did because it was needed - they didn't have the time or money or energy to do a whole wedding or honeymoon or anything like that, just the marriage licence and a town hall witness and nothing else. With Daisy just being born and with so many tragedies in Bradley's life having just happened, even if they didn't marry just because it was needed at the time, it just wasn't the right time for a wedding.

And the right time never came - they were both parents to a baby girl and naval aviators with careers that needed sacrifices and a lot of hard work and changing schedules and they didn't really need the wedding to have their marriage start to feel real after a while.

Mav is super disappointed and offended - he and Ice couldn't really have a wedding because Ice was a too high profile person to not make the ceremony into a public affair (which neither of them wanted) but he's always imagined at least Bradley would have a nice, family-orientated wedding, even if that was just a small ceremony like Carole and Goose's wedding was.

And Jake doesn't explicitly say that he'd like a wedding but as the conversation goes on, Bradley can see he is kinda a bit wistful about the whole thing ('we missed so many things because of how our circumstances looked, it's just one more to add to the list, doesn't matter now').

And you know, Daisy as a flower girl would be absolutely the cutest. And Bradley's had gone a long way in those five years in allowing himself to be happy about how his life looked, even if maybe it wasn't supposed to look like this without so many of his loved ones dying.

So he agrees. Mav and Jake plan the majority of it because, truly, he doesn't care how it all looks, as long as Jake and Daisy will be there, Bradley will be happy.

But then it's the bachelor party the night before the wedding and Bradley is miserable.

They have the same friend group more or less, so they rented two separate rooms in the same building/club/whatever so people can go and sneak away from one groom to the other and spend equal amounts of time with both Jake and Bradley - Nat stays with Bradley's side majority of the time, Javy stays with Jake's, but most just swap places.

And like, Bradley tries but he's barely just finished months long deployments right before the mission and couldn't see them for ages before San Diego and Daisy is staying with Slider's family for the night and Jake is on the other side of the building and they're not letting him see him because it's 'tradition' and they 'can't be attached at the hip' and Bradley just, misses them a lot.

So he tells the group he's going to the toilet and 'sneaks out' to the back of the building where the terrace with intention to find Jake, because maybe that will give his mind some peace, and sure enough, he bumps into Jake just outside the door - turns out, Jake had the exact same thoughts running through his head. Missing Bradley and Daisy.

They decide to ditch the parties and just go and pick up Daisy from Slider's house.

And sure enough, because Daisy is five and able to sleep basically anywhere, she is already asleep when they come in. So they just sit next to the guest bed until they fall asleep on the floor next to her.

[rosemallowss]

some thoughts

Obviously, people have probably analyzed the hell out of this poem already, or it's incredibly obvious, but I just cannot get over the parallels between Bill Cipher and Stanley here so here are my ramblings for myself when I originally read the poem.

As we learn more of Bill's backstory, the hatred he has for Stan goes deeper, not just because Bill is upset that a "lower life form" has defeated him, but because he's deeply envious that the both of them "always dragged his family down", "couldn't outrun life's regrets", and yet only one of them got a happy ending: reunited with a family who loves him despite his mistakes, able to reverse one of his own deepest regrets, ie. pushing Ford through the portal after just getting him back. Bill likely always dragged his family down with his ability to see the third dimension, as the book and website implies that no one in Euclydia were exactly fond of his abilities, nor did they take him seriously, and they tried to quell his power. (He's basically like Viktor from The Umbrella Academy, but I digress I have not seen the new season). "One mistake, disowned, denied", their paths differ here, but Stan's mistake- ruining Ford's school project accidentally, and Bill's- massacring an entire dimension in the process of attempting to get them all to see what he sees.

We know Stanley's whole life of hiding and changing his identity. Bill goes to "reinvent, retry, reload" throughout dimensions.

"A girdle, eyepatch, fathers fez, / 'I'm a new man!' so he says,": With new info from the website, we can also guess that Bill's top hat, where he keeps the molecules of Euclydia in, once belonged to his father. They both "couldn't outrun life's regrets," and both are con mans in their own right of course, Bill is sketchy and makes deals to manipulate people. He’s a new man once he takes his dad’s top hat!

"When you've lost track of your lies / When the poison starts to rise / When the walls are closing in / When its clear you cannot win / When your actions make it worse / When they see you as a curse," sheesh, Bill is really projecting here. Even his lies are lies. It's funny how Bill really sees himself in both of the Stan twins. With Stanley he seems to project what he hates most about himself onto him in terms of mistakes, failures, and permanently altering his and his loved ones' lives forever, again showing why he despises Stan the most. Despite all of that, Stan got the life that Bill couldn't get back. With Ford, they both have a genetic abnormality, and level of genius and personality that no one else could relate to, making them both outcasts.

"You think you left the past behind / But trust me / I'm still on your mind." By the way, if Bill was still in his mind while his memories were getting erased, and Stan is getting those memories back, that implies that Bill can reform whole again, right? But anyway, these last few lines don't seem to apply to Stan as much as it does to Bill. His dead universe is always on his mind no matter what. Bill's story is so fascinating to me. He's been my favorite villain since I was eleven, so to expand upon him feels awesome. Book of Bill coming out has made me feel like a giddy little kid again who was screaming when she found out that there was a secret flashing of an image once the GF intro ended.

Stanley Pines, the conman clown,

Always dragged his family down.

One mistake, disowned, denied,

Only thing to do was hide.

One way out: the open road.

Reinvent, retry, reload.

A girdle, eyepatch, fathers fez,

"I'm a new man!" so he says

Couldn't outrun life's regrets,

Just kept placing bigger bets.

Changed his haircut, switched hotels-

Truth is just whatever sells.

When you've lost track of your lies,

When the poison starts to rise,

When the walls are closing in,

When its clear you cannot win,

When your actions make it worse,

When they see you as a curse,

Give the wheel one last spin,

Take your chips and go all in,

And Lucky Stan- the roll's on black,

He got his life and family back.

His big break, it finally came,

Redemption from a life of shame.

You really think you won the day.

You packed your bags and sailed away.

You think you left the past behind.

But trust me

I'm still on your mind.

[junebluues]

ROUND 7 TEASER ROUND 7 TEASER SCREAMSS

OH GOD ITS SO FUCKING OVER.

i’m actually a little bit obsessed as to how this round looks more like a concert than a competition. i don’t think we’ve ever seen a stage like this in alnst at all.

like. LOOK AT THIS THING. they’ve got light sticks and everything. (which are popular at k-pop concerts, for those who don’t know.)

i mean, i guess it makes sense that they’d go all out like this because round 7 is the last round. what i find interesting is the amount of bright and colorful light that’s been used… even in luka and till’s individual frames in this trailer.

okay so, it’s confirmed that till is wearing green, which is also present in the lights on stage. and that green tank top is see through with a black one under it. and the orange light from above… i can really only think of the first teaser art we got of this round and the meteor shower scene.

i feel like this could mean we might see ivan from till’s pov this time. and i’m also wondering if the lights we see on stage (that also look like a sort of projection at the back of the stage? i won’t say they’re using a cyc because this is alien civilization here, but it looks pretty similar) will change colors as the round goes on. i’m starting to think they will, only because we’ve seen colors other than the blue and green that are important to both luka and till, and i doubt they’d miss a chance to use some color symbolism in r7.

if the lights on the back of the stage ARE a projection, i’m very interested to learn what they’re going to project onto it. i don’t really have an idea of what a projection could be for this round, because i personally think it’ll be too foul to put the meteor shower footage on screen while till sings…

oh and don’t even get me started on luka’s outfit.

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. WHY ARE THE GIRLS OUT LUKA. and the back is open too. luka. why are you getting so bold.

i think luka’s outfit is still pretty much white? but i’m not all that sure because of this lighting. which means, they’re both still wearing black and white. and that feels so odd to me, because the duos wearing black and white have only been mizisua and ivantill. and in all the other rounds, the competitors were wearing the same color. that’s making me a little scared, except the one wearing white always dies. in this case, luka is wearing white, so if we follow the old color rule, that means he would die. although, i don’t think this is the case now.

till is also wearing green over his black top. it seems like a rebellious act, covering up what the segyein gave to him, just like him covering up his brand in the all-in cover. i genuinely feel like the outcome of this round could be anything. i do believe that till will survive, but he won’t come out unscathed. as for luka, i have no idea. the green with the black tells me that something else is going to happen that we might not expect.

basically, i’m terrified for late october