#anyway idc about the option in the end because aside from making me laugh. this is normal for yishai. death threat made with zero emotion

[shepcdr]

i forgot that the dissonance between how the option is written vs what shepard Actually says is really insane sometimes

[acearchivist359]

My Rise of Skywalker Opinions/Commentary

this is mostly for me but and for my other blog (not on tumblr) but I thought I’d post it here too cause why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ happy Star Ways Day fellow humans, may the force be with you 

   Okay so here's something I have a lot of opinions about. I'm gonna have to say right off the bat, I didn't like Rise of Skywalker. Being said though, I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would. I've seen it twice by now, I wrote my notes having seen it once, I've had lengthy debates about it with multiple people ranging from one of my parent's friends to one of my best friends to my little brother. I saw it like the day after it came out, I wrote my notes on January 1st, so I've sat with this for awhile and I'd sat with the movie before I wrote them. I kinda forgot about it all for a bit cause I blocked it out of my head and then I thought it might be too late to post it but I put a lot of, frankly chaotic, effort into my notes and I figured when it came on Disney+ people might start talking about it again so here we are.  Now I'm still using my original notes, which I added to after seeing it the second time, cause I have no desire to watch this movie again. I really don't. I honestly wouldn't have even seen it twice but I had told my grandma I'd go with her cause she loves Star Wars and she had no one to go with. My grandma loved it, but my grandma loves them all "because it's Star Wars." My mom also saw it and liked it, she's only seen the originals though and had no idea what was going on. I, on the other hand, spent a lot of time hitting myself in the head (the first time round) and there was a few occasions where I honestly said "what the fuck??" out loud in the theatre.  So one more thing I have to note, I feel the same way about the whole trilogy I don't really like any of them and I never did. But I'm not entirely just looking at this as one movie, a lot of what I've got to say looks at this as the end of the "Skywalker Saga" cause that’s what it is. I also have some things that go back through the entire trilogy but this is mainly based around TROS since it's the most recent and I refuse to watch the others to make notes on them. Also, I'm aware of the problem they had with the whole George Lucas vs. Rian Johnson thing and how they wrote them separately, however I'm still gonna call them out on things they should have done to tie things together from the beginning cause that was a really dumb way to do things anyway. Plus like I said I'm looking more big picture on a lot of things (mostly cause there's major plotlines that I hated). One of these days, I'll make a positive review but it won't be about the sequel trilogy, I'll tell you that much.  With all that said, I vote that I get on with this. Just for reference though, none of this is in chronological order. There are some things I did like about this movie, I will give it that, so I feel like we should start there. Small Positive Things:

The first thing I put in my notes is just "Finn and Poe" and honestly that's still a mood. I really liked them in this one and I really saw why people ship them.

The next point in my notes just says "death star" which boils down to two different things: the aesthetic and the Imperial March

I know I said positive things but I didn't think of it in my notes and I need to address this. You're telling me that the Death Star exploded but there's still that big of a piece in tact??? But whatever not the point.

The aesthetic: vague continuity thing aside, I fucking love the Death Star in this I really do. It looks awesome. It's really cool to see this broken down, abandoned version of the Death Star. I loved the Stormtrooper helmets scattered on the ground, for some reason that part really stuck in my head. Being said though I generally love the old Stormtrooper helmets, the First Order ones just don't do it for me, but seeing them scattered around.. Idk it was a nice touch I think

Imperial March: so like the Imperial March is the shit, obviously, but that soft, subtle hint of it in that scene as Rey steps into the throne room is one of the only parts of that movie that made me hit my brother's arm in excitement (we do that at the movies, it's our thing). It reminds me of that thing they do in Clone Wars when Anakin does something just a little Darth Vader.

Right so the next thing I had was that part where Kylo Ren finds Palpatine and he      switches from his voice to Snoke's to Darth Vader's.

It was a little thing but I liked it a lot. As far as having to tie it all together, the idea that it was actually Palpatine manipulating Ren wasn't so bad. (That being said the       whole how Palpatine is around thing is pretty far fetched, but they tried.)

My next thing, and this I actually laughed at as opposed to like confused laughter, is the part where they get back from their little mission to find the map to whatever the place was called and Threepio introduces himself to Artoo and Artoo literally does a double take and backs up like "what the fuck??? " That was such a human expression for a robot, it was hilarious. Also Threepio being like "You're not messing with my head!" *cuts to Artoo messing with Threepio's head* Basically anything Artoo cause I love him.

Again tiny random thing, but the Jet Troopers and the Sith Troopers were really cool. Me and my brother quote the "they fly now??" "they fly now!" part all the time. Also just like red Stormtroopers..

So here's a thing that gave me feelings. (I'd like to just point out that this is one of the      only things that gave me feelings and it's about to be clear why.) Chewie finding out Leia died. That hurt my heart. I knew that they couldn't possibly go through that movie without having Leia die, and I said this before the movie ever came out. What I said before was that they really had two options: they could have Leia die off screen which would have been disrespectful to both Carrie Fisher and Leia or she could just sorta disappear which would have also been bad. However they gave her the death scene she deserved. I mean sort of, jury's out on it really. But Chewie making sad noises and falling to his knees hurt me. Similarly Artoo beeping at her sadly made me weepy. (The Anakin in me really jumps out whenever Artoo comes up but like I love him)

I honestly have nothing else to say for this point besides: I can't believe Harrison      Ford agreed to do that

I just wanna touch on Poe again cause he was always my favourite of the new characters, I wasn't really  connected with any of them (which is so uncommon for me) but Poe was my favourite cause he was funny. He was really good in this one, I thought he was funny, again him and Finn had a brilliant thing going. For whatever      reason this one made me appreciate Poe more.

I have some (general) grievances to air out now

I have to say one thing that really irks me about this trilogy is that none of the original characters reunite. The exception of which being everyone and Chewie. Also are we counting Luke and Leia's? I guess in the end they end up reunited in the force in the end either way but still. I mean really Han and Leia have their scene together, and I love that scene, but other than that nothing. No Han and Lando, no Han and Luke reunion. Han and Luke is the one that bothers me though cause them and Leia are the trio and Han and Luke are the only ones that don't reunite. We never see Leia and Lando together on screen either. It's a crime.

I don't know how I feel about Hux being the spy. I feel like it was just kinda lame, you know? Pretty predictable when you think about it, would have been cooler if he wasn't the spy. Seemed like it was just comic relief when it should have been a plot point.

I think it would have been cool if there were more Jedi in the final scene. Like all those Jedi voices spoke to Rey, but only Luke and Leia are there at the end? I get the symbolism with the lightsabers and Luke's place and all that, but still. Like at least, you know, Obi Wan or Anakin. This is one of those full circle things but still, I think it would have been a cool scene.

Okay so this is just me being petty but like I don't care it bothers me. The fact that they keep acting like the lightsaber Rey has is Luke's when it's actually Anakin's bothers me. I know it's a little thing and Not Important but it's dumb. Cause it's not Luke's lightsaber, Luke made his own later on.

Also the fact that they started calling it Rey's lightsaber annoys me so much for the       same reason. She has her own lightsaber now, leave Anakin's alone.

Okay so, we have reached the point where I start talking about things a bit more, bear with me (if people even bother to read this at all idc this is mostly just for me to rant and stuff):

So like look, I'll be the first to say not a Kylo Ren fan. He had potential, I will give him that, and that's where I'm going with this. The other movies had him as this whiny, try hard, Darth Vader wannabe and I just really didn't vibe with that. I mean this is the first real villian since Darth Vader (not counting palpsy during the prequels cause he was just behind the scenes and every movie had a different Bad Guy) and he throws a temper tantrum. Those stormtroopers were hilarious but still. But anyway, did not expect to come out of this movie having wished Kylo Ren was in it more. If they had had him be the way he was in this one the whole time, I might have actually liked him. He did some cool stuff for once in this one so let's discuss that:

I talk about things being full circle a lot (but with movies as nostalgic as Star Wars there should be full circle, fight me) but him fighting with Anakin's lightsaber was very full circle

I do like that it was Leia's death that triggered his return to the light side (I mean I'll get into some things about that later) as opposed to some romance bullshit with Rey. I really don't ship them, like at all, and I think it makes it more compelling that it was his mother's death instead.

He did some cool shit at the beginning, that fight scene was cool. I like the part where he slams the guy down on the ground, don't ask me why I have no idea. I saw it in the trailer and I liked it.

The Han Solo in him really jumped out in the end there and it was really entertaining

The fight with the Knights of Ren was really cool (besides that one jump thing he       did cause I see where they were going with it but it just didn't look as good)

What was definitely cool is the part where he pulls the lightsaber out from behind his back, that was a cool move

Alright so here's my thing and this is gonna make me sound bad probably but like as already established, I don't really like the new characters as much. I just didn't connect with them on the same level as the past trilogies characters, which is fine it's whatever. But I am just gonna say it, I don't really like Rey. But here's my thing, I've always been indifferent towards her but like not really caring either was but there are some things she did in this one that just.. bothered me so this being my platform I'm gonna talk about it.

So the thing with Star Wars movies for me and most people is the family feel right. But like Rey just goes off on her own and ditches Finn, Poe, Chewie and Threepio all the time and like I get that she's sensing something or she wants to get to the death star but she could say something instead of just.. disappearing

Okay so here's another thing, and I know they wanted to find a way to tie it back to the originals but….. a Palpatine?? There are so many other characters they could have gone with but it's like they just wanted to do the 'watch the light side defeat the dark side' thing in as many ways as possible in one movie (Which I'll talk more about later)

Alright so here's my last solely Rey related point and like I don't know where people stand on this cause they seem to either love it or hate it. But Rey Skywalker?? Here's my thing, I've a really hard time getting past the Palpatine thing on that one. But also is that supposed to be the Rise of Skywalker? Because I don't know that I consider that to be rising for her.

Alright, on the topic of the light side vs. dark side thing. Yes I am aware that this is a fundamental part of Star Wars and always has been. However they did it in two      different ways in the same movie. Here's the thing I don't like Rey or Kylo Ren over each other, I have the same level of indifference with both of them. So this isn't me being a Ben Solo stan, promise cause I could not possibly care less if they bring him back, I'm not gonna fight them on it. But the storyline of him overcoming the dark side, would have been more interesting to me. Because I knew Rey wasn't gonna go to the dark side, this is Star Wars. But I wish we could have seen Kylo/Ben struggle with the dark side vs the light side more. I mean they gave us such a good look at it with Anakin, we watched him struggle and fall. That to me would have been rising.

Not to mention Palpsy literally just tries to use the same trick on Rey that he       already tried to use on Luke. That's not full circle, that's Palps being dumb.

Okay, now for the full circle nonsense I keep talking about. The thing with this is that it probably would have been the things you do over two movies and not just the one but just cause they didn't write them that way doesn't mean I can't imagine it.

For one thing, I'd have had Ben kill Palpatine.

Hear me out: Palps himself refers to Ben as the "Last of the Skywalkers" and given that Palpatine is the reason behind all the Skywalker drama from the beginning. With that being said, having the last of the Skywalkers kill Palpatine and thus end his insane, saga long reign over the universe would have been amazing

Not to mention this would be finishing what his grandfather started which was his thing the whole time. Anakin tried to kill Palpatine at the end, and having the last Skywalker, the last of Anakin's blood genuinely finish what he started would have brought the whole thing to an end

Along the same lines as that, the power the all of the Jedi scene would have in that case (and I'm saying this like he was good for more than the last 10 minutes of the movie) been so much more powerful. To have him hear Anakin's voice, like he always wanted but guiding him towards the light instead. Not to mention his mother.

And also, small thing but on the topic of finishing what Anakin started and all that but his grandson, the last of his blood (I'm gonna keep using that) using his lightsaber, the very one he had when he first fell to the dark side, to kill Palpatine once and for all would have been one of those full circle moments that I expected the movie to have more of.

 SO yeah that's everything, all my thoughts and feelings. This literally took me forever to finish. It's been like 5 months but it's Star Wars Day (May the Fourth be with You!) so I had to cram to get it done or I'd die. Plus once it started to get away from when the movie actually came out, I figured I'd wait for it to come out on Disney+ and it has so here we are. I'm glad to be done with this and get it all out cause I honestly just don't care for that movie. I'd rather watch Clone Wars (the finale was soooo good).  Anyways, peace out and may the force be with you, always!  -Moony

[pickalilywrites]

Idc how long it takes for you to get to this request so I'll leave it here anyway. I see there's a pattern with the ships you write for and get requested to write for. It's mainly Jeankasa, anything involving Jean/Sasha/Connie and sometimes Ereani. Therefore my request is for you to write for a ship that you don't usually do. Whether it's Eremika, Eruri, Reibert, Yumikuri, write whatever ship you want as long as it's not one you usually write for and maybe even one you've never written before.

Eh, it fluctuates depending on the chapters, you know. Although I think the variety of my fics is the best its ever been!

For all the Hilow shippers with all my love. ♡ Please allow me to write for you guys more in the future ^^

All the Words I Should Have Said

Hilow. Canonverse. 

1982 words. 

She wants to believe that it’s a surprise when Marlowe announces that he’s leaving the Military Police for the Survey Corps. He’s always been seeking to make a real change and anyone who wants to accomplish anything doesn’t laze around with the Military Police. If they’re foolish and stupid and brave, they join the Survey Corps where they fight recklessly in the hopes that their deaths will bring humanity closer to freedom. Marlowe is one of those idiots. Hitch, however, is not, which is why she is here saying farewell to the biggest idiot she’s ever known and the only person she’s ever admired.

Hitch twirls one of her curls around her finger, watching as Marlowe packs his few belongings before he leaves. “So I guess you’re really doing it,” she says out loud. She hates how uncaring her voice sounds, but she can’t bring herself to show her true feelings, not when he’s the one leaving her. “I always thought you were secretly too scared to do anything. I guess you weren’t actually just all talk.”

He frowns as he decides what things he’ll bring, what things he’ll throw away. After tossing aside fancy pins and badges that are meant for decoration at military balls, he shoves a belt into his bag – because everyone knows that no matter how much the Survey Corps is being paid or fed, he’s going to lose weight and a lot of it. Finally turning to Hitch, his bag fully packed, he says, “After all this time, you still think I was nothing but a coward? What does that make you when you’re the one who’s going to stay?”

And that’s true enough. She has no intention of sacrificing her life. No one has asked it of her and even if they did, she’d never go. She doesn’t owe anyone anything.

Still, his comment stings and she would lash out at him if it this weren’t the last time they were going to see each other. So what if she’s a coward for staying here and wanting to live? He’s a selfish bastard for leaving her all alone with these vapid people with their vapid thoughts just so he can play hero.

She smiles at him, bitter. “Is that how you want to talk to the only person who’s come to see you off?”

They’re not exactly friends. Now, they’re hardly even allies. But their time together must mean something, right? At least she thought it had, and perhaps he does too because he does look apologetic for what he’s said. He fumbles with his bag, shifting it on and off his shoulder. “I really do appreciate it, you coming here,” he says quietly. He stands there awkwardly, deciding on where to move. For a second, Hitch thinks that he’s moving towards her, that he’ll wrap her in his arms and beg her to tell him to stay. If he does that, she just might, but he doesn’t. He just walks up to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you.”

She lets out a breath that she never knew she was holding and she can feel her heart drop in her chest. “Of course,” she says, but he’s already moved on, walking out the door. She can only watch as he walks away from her, never to return. What she says is, “Goodbye.”

What she should have said, “Please don’t leave me.”

She despises the Military Police despite being a part of it. They’re void of any real thoughts or feelings, their heads filled with only their own meaningless desires. When she had first joined the Military Police, she thought she would fit in easily. They don’t care about anyone or anything about themselves. She’s a fool for thinking she could ever be that selfish.

A boy named Trennan leans in too close to her during breakfast. There are crumbs all over his mouth that he hasn’t bothered wiping off. Hitch cringes when he speaks because she sees that he hasn’t finished chewing the food in his mouth. “Hey, whatever happened to that Marlowe guy? Weren’t you two close?” he asks.

Before Hitch can answer, another girl across the table answers for her. “He joined the Survey Corps a while ago,” she says. She’s a plain girl from Stohess. Hitch had thought her boring when they had first joined the Military Police, so she never bothered remembering the girl’s name. “Can you imagine anyone trading this for life to go fooling around with those idiots?”

Those sitting at the table laugh because even though they’ve been putting down the Scouting Legion for years, they haven’t grown tired of it. These boring people with their boring jokes. Hitch can hardly stand to be with them now, and she doesn’t know how she managed to tolerate them before.

She opens her mouth, ready to snap at them for insulting Marlowe when they hardly know him. They just enjoy putting people down to make themselves feel better about their pathetic selves. And she says “them,” but she knows that she was just like them before. She’s such a hypocrite.

She fakes a smile, poking at her food but not actually eating any of it. Feeling nothing but hatred for herself as she laughs along with them, she finds herself saying, “Well, you know Marlowe. He was always an idiot, so I’m sure he’ll feel right at home with them.”

She should have told them that Marlowe is a better man than any of them will ever be.

Marlowe writes letters to her occasionally when he has the time for it, but he never writes often enough, and he never says the things she wants him to say. He only writes to her about the Survey Corps members he’s been getting to know, the ruins of places outside the walls, and the feeling that he’s about to do something great. He never tells her about the missions they go on – that’s classified information after all – or anything especially important. Sometimes he forgets to ask her how she’s doing, only scrawling a “best wishes” at the end of his note.

She feels like a fool for even reading his letters and an even bigger one for rereading them every chance she gets. She’s memorized his handwriting – every dot, every cross, every loop – and traces every stroke with her finger.

Hitch always says she won’t write to him. What’s the point if he might not even read it before he’s…well. But she ends up writing to him anyway every time.

She thinks about telling him her true feelings, her actual feelings. Oh, but only a coward would write a confession instead of saying it out loud in person, and she’s the biggest coward of them all because she won’t write it or say it.

Instead, she writes drafts that all end with the same three words only to hastily scratch them all out again with her pen. By the end of the night, crumpled pieces of paper litter her floor. She’s sure she’ll have to buy another well of ink tomorrow if she keeps this up.

Frustrated and tired, Hitch scribbles her last letter, horribly dissatisfied because she has said nothing she wanted to say.

At the end of her letter are the words “Good luck” followed by her name.

She should have written, “Come back.” But even if she did, he never would.  

Hitch tosses and turns beneath her sheets, slipping in and out of her dreams. People she used to be friends with tell her that she spends too much time in bed. She laughs and jokes about how she’s probably the laziest out of everyone in the Military Police – their work barely consists of anything, but she’d still rather laze around in bed, enjoying the warmth of her blankets. It’s a lie, but they’re stupid enough to believe her.

The truth is, she only sleeps because she can’t bear being awake. All her thoughts eventually come back to the boy who will never return. At least in her dreams, her mind forgets that he ever left. In her dreams, she fantasizes that he’s still here with her. They make fun of the idiots in the Military Police – them included – and they don’t have to worry about the world outside. He can be as idiotically idealistic as he wants, and she can be as stupidly cynical as she wants; they’ll argue and fight each other, but they’ll laugh and smile as well because at least they’ll be together.

It’s always the same when she wakes up. Even the warmth of her thick blankets can’t hide the fact that she’s horribly alone without him. To distract herself, she thinks of what will happen when Marlowe comes home because he has to come home. If he doesn’t…

She conjures up the image of Marlowe, beaten and bruised but still alive. He leans against his new comrades but when he sees her, his face breaks into a smile. When he falls, her arms are the ones that catch him.

Hitch wonders what she says when he comes home. She has multiple options in the back of her mind, ones that she’s tried out in her head over and over, but she always settles on the same words every time. “Welcome back.”

What she should say is “I missed you.”

When the Survey Corps return from Shiganshina, hardly any of them are left. Hitch scours their faces looking for the one she’s been hoping to see, but they all disappoint her. She should go to them, ask them if they have any idea where Marlowe is, but she’s scared of the answer that she might receive. It seems like she was the coward all along.

She doesn’t find out what happened to him until a few days after the Survey Corps have returned. There’s an official military notice stating the outcome of the expedition: the contents of the infamous basement have been recovered, the Colossal Titan has now been captured and under their control, and they had lost all but nine of their soldiers. Marlowe was not included in the nine. There wouldn’t be a formal funeral for any of them – none of the bodies could be recovered – but a ceremony would be performed in honor of those who gave their lives to humanity.

Hitch is the only one from the Military Police to attend the ceremony. After Trost, she never thought she would go to another one of these. She had just shoved it into the back of her mind, promising herself that everything would be fine now that she was safe. Now she knows that everything is hell and there is no point in being safe if everything she cares about is taken away from her.

The fires blaze in front of her, the flame burning only as a symbol because those who had been lost are just that – lost. Before long, they’ll just be forgotten along the Wall and no one will remember that they were there. It’s what breaks her heart the most. He’s just…gone, not even a body to prove that he existed.

She doesn’t want to cry, not in front of these Survey Corps members who hardly know her. She stands there, biting her lip, staring into the fire for so long that its brightness is beginning to hurt her eyes.

All the words she dreamed of saying to him, and now she can’t. The least she can do is bid him farewell. So she mumbles, “Goodbye,” her voice so quiet that it’s almost inaudible under the roar of the fire.

Those are her last words to him, but her last words should have been the three words that she’s kept for so long. Three words, three simple words, but when she opens her mouth to say them, nothing comes out.