#anyway if anyone has a solution to the dilemma of wanting my stuff to be seperated but also not wanting to make sideblogs

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

i'm also getting sideblog urges AGAIN god i truly never learn from my mistakes

[wrathbite]

About soft and hard magic systems- by applying limitations on magic you are actually making the system harder overall! Magic might be able to do pretty much anything in a setting, but its more interesting if the character who can use magic is limited and has to think about how to use what they have to solve their problems. A mage with only fire magic has to think laterally if they want to solve a ghost dilemma with magic, and that tension is itself tasty.

Magic can be as soft as it needs for your vibes, but when a character is gonna use magic to solve a problem, it's handy to have rules or limitations in place to fuel creative solutions. A magic system as a tool for the characters to use is made more interesting by its limitations, rather than its stengths. If you can only fly when music is playing, that's objectively weaker than just flight but it provides more interesting storytelling opportunities

I actually don't like how dnd treats magic- its basically a bunch of bullets that the spellcasters shoot and there's no focus on stuff like "how does it feel to use magic?". It's a hard system so rigid that it ignores storytelling, and encourages dms to use the spell list as the end-all-be-all of what magic is capable of. So specializations and customizations is a great way to get around that storytelling conceit for players. The list is just spells that your player can learn, but it is by no means all the spells anyone in the world can learn- and that's a sentiment that's easy to convey in a novel but easy to forget when playing a ttrpg.

Anyway soft magic and hard magic systems don't have to be opposed they can work together. Harry Potter magic overall can do whatever it needs to but Harry himself needs his wand and the incantation to do a specific spell, and he usually has a repertoire of like 3-6 spells per book. Overall it's a soft system but the character interacts with it as if it were a harder system.

Stories are great and I hope you have a good day byee

Hi! Thank you for the message :)

I understand the idea that putting limitations on magic does make it harder overall. I didn't mean to imply that I thought my take was a pure Soft Magic System (tm). On a sliding scale between Soft Magic (1) and Hard Magic (10), I think I like it best around the 3-4 range.

I agree and disagree with your take that magic systems are made more interesting by their limitations. I think that's entirely dependent on the vessel that the person using said magic is. In a book or story, where a characters actual purpose to us is to be a plot conduit, I think that harder magic systems get in the way of that character's purpose. It can be interesting in the sense that you the reader get to guess at how they'll use their magic to solve their issues, but I think that sometimes it gets in the way of the story itself. In a game like dnd, where the characters need a harder framework bc it is a game with rules (and lets be honest, dnd is basically a combat simulator, and if it weren't there wouldn't be a need for such a stringent rule system). Of the two of these, my tags were referring more to the former. I brought up dnd bc I play it a lot and I wanted to share how my preference in literature flavors how I run my games.

I agree that dnd magic system isn't good for telling stories. I think you and I are on the same page with that. Dnd is a game and to be commercially sold its important that it has some semblance of balance, and to keep min-maxxers from just steamrolling anything.

Soft and hard magic work best in conjunction. Going to either side makes the story feel either a bit too sci-fi/physics-y for my tastes or a bit too fairy-tale-ish.

Also, in the nicest way possible, please don't bring up Harry Potter to me. I IDed as a trans woman and am still trans/nb. JK Rowling can choke.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

I’m still working on the NSFW Alphabet for Enigma/Edward Nashton/Riddler-Before-He-Was-Riddler from “Arkham Origins,” and it’s going to take some time because of my work schedule being the PITA that it is...

However, I do have some snippets of an Arkham Knight!Riddler x female!Reader fic I’ve been working on here and there over the last few weeks. 

Now, these are not beta-read, so there may be some mistakes, and some things might change or be added or rearranged, etc. when I do get around to proof-reading the complete fic, but the basic idea of each snippet won’t change from here on to the finished product. 

The general concept behind this fic is what would it take for AK!Riddler to, well, get his shit together? We all know how he started out as a snack -- or more accurately, a damn MEAL:

then became a...well, a hot mess (still adorable, though):

Possibly having someone in his life who actually appreciates him and shows him some affection could get him to clean himself up? Because we all know this boy is most likely touch-starved and would probably cry if someone was actually sweet to him, and he’d probably do whatever he could to be as presentable as possible to keep them around -- anything to keep them from vanishing from his life and leaving him all alone and unwanted again.

Anyway, here are the three (non-beta’d!) snippets from the fic:

Snippet 1:

Initially, Edward told himself it was for his own good. He was Gotham’s one true genius so why shouldn’t he take better care of himself? Cloning was not possible, nor was there any way to transfer the human consciousness into a machine. All of this meant there was only ONE Edward Nigma, and he deserved to look and feel his absolute best. 

Besides, he thought it was yet another way to one-up anyone who opposed him. Yes, of course he could look just as put together as anyone else -- or better. He was superior in every possible way after all.

It had all started with a comment from Selina as she was leaving to take care of the job Edward had assigned to her.

“You know, Eddie,” she said, turning to look at him over her shoulder. “Ladies like men who don’t smell like a car repair shop.”

With that, she was gone and Edward was, at first, not even registering what she had said to him. But it did creep into his thoughts faster than he would have liked, and he analyzed every piece of it. Why would Selina say such a thing? Then again, most people said pointless -- or more accurately, stupid -- things. Normally, he would have disregarded and forgot about it as he went about his work, but it nagged at him like a mathematical equation without a proper solution.

Taking a break from working on some new Riddlerbots, Edward went to the bathroom to locate anything he had on hand to take care of the headache he was currently dealing with. He found a bottle of Aspirin in the medicine cabinet, but when he closed the door, he stared at his reflection for a moment (When was the last time he’d given himself a proper glance in a mirror?)

As Edward took the Aspirin, he remembered Y/N was coming to see him that day -- soon, actually. Perhaps a shower would be a good idea? She would probably appreciate it if he didn’t smell like a car repair shop. And he probably would feel better being clean. Could help him think a little more clearly.

As he showered, Edward told himself this was primarily for his benefit and he wasn’t trying to impress Y/N -- or anyone for that matter. Deep down, though, he knew this was part of something he didn’t quite understand, something dealing with Y/N, something he hadn’t experienced before. That part of him was too afraid at that time to come forth and propose an answer to this dilemma. This was unfamiliar territory, something that wasn’t logical or scientific but emotional and...no, that “strange” part of him needed to stay quiet if he wanted to keep his thoughts together.

This was nothing. Nothing was going on. Everything was normal. And no, Edward didn’t feel relieved when Y/N complimented him on his appearance upon arriving. Taking a shower and putting on nice, clean clothes had nothing to do with gaining her approval. He did it for himself, to give himself a “refresh” before getting back to work. He wasn’t aiming to please or impress anyone, remember? Not even Y/N.

Especially not Y/N.

Or so he thought.

Snippet 2:

Something was different when Edward put someone else before anything of his, namely his work. Had it been anyone else, he’d have tossed a bunch of insults and told them never to bother helping him again. 

However, with Y/N, it was completely different -- and he didn’t even realize it at first.

She was carrying a box of mechanical parts to bring to Edward to aid in constructing new robots, and he had warned her to be careful, to not overload the box or it would be too heavy for her. While carrying the box of gears, wires, and metal bits, she tripped over her own feet and fell forward. The box toppled over onto the floor, spilling the contents everywhere, and she collapsed on her left forearm and knee.

“I told you to be careful!” Edward growled as he rushed over.

“I’m sorry!” Y/N said, pushing herself up and looking at the mess. “I don’t think I broke anything--”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

Y/N fully expected Edward to examine the scattered parts to see if they had sustained any damage but he went right by them. Kneeling down beside her, he gently took her left arm and briefly studied the scratched skin. 

“I don’t think it’s broken,” Edward said as he carefully felt her forearm and elbow. “And your knee….”

“I think it’s ok,” Y/N said as she moved to sit. “It hurts, though.”

Edward placard his hands on Y/N’s left knee, feeling around and noting how she winced several times. 

“Not broken,” he said. “But most certainly will be sore and bruised for a while. Here…let’s get you up.”

Edward let Y/N put an arm around him to steady her as he helped her to stand. Of course, her left knee ached far too much for her to walk on her own, so he continued to guide her to the bathroom.

“I’m sorry about the stuff,” Y/N said, looking and sounding as guilty as she felt.

“Don’t worry about it,” Edward said absent-mindedly as he located some clean bandages and antiseptic cream. “Most of it probably won’t even be needed for what I’m doing now, and I can always acquire more. In fact...I have more in storage.”

Edward turned on the faucet and tested the water until it was comfortably warm, then he gingerly took Y/N’s left arm and began cleaning it with soap. It stung a little but she tolerated it, studying his highly focused expression and wondering if this was even happening? He truly wasn’t upset that she dropped the box of bits and pieces? She just couldn’t wrap her head around it, and doubted that anyone would believe her without proof.

Edward dried Y/N’s arm with a clean towel before tossing it in the trash. After applying some antiseptic cream to a strip of bandage, he proceeded to wrap it around her arm, covering the wound. 

“There…” Edward said, admiring his handiwork. “How does that feel?

“Good,” Y/N said.

“Now for your, uh, knee.” Edward swallowed, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “It...doesn’t appear to be bleeding so...I think we can just put, um, ice on it. Unless you think it needs to be looked at?”

“No, I think it’s fine. Ice is fine. Thank you.”

Edward nodded before clearing his throat and reaching out to Y/N.

“Come,” he said. “Let me help you to the couch.”

Snippet 3:

“Ok, who are you and what did you do with Eddie?” asked Selina as she looked Edward over incredulously.

It appeared that Edward finally got his shit together and was taking care of himself. Not only was he free of grime and grease, he was dressed in rather impressive attire: black dress shirt, green gloves, green trousers, and dark brown boots. Even his hair was cut and styled differently as it was shorter with subtle layering, the offset part causing bangs to fall over most of his forehead and just above his brows. 

Another noteworthy change was Edward’s weight. Instead of surviving on snacks and coffee, he must have been eating actual food again as he was no longer skin and bones. Actually, he looked a little bit...toned? Was he back to his old routine of perfectly planned, ultra-healthy, balanced meals coupled with a decent amount of exercise? Selina remembered he used to get up early in the and exercise almost right away most days of the week. It helped him “get focused” before even having coffee, he had said.

“What are you going on about?” Edward asked in an agitated tone. “Nevermind. It’s nonsense anyway.”

“Personality is still the same,” Selina muttered as she followed Edward to a workbench.

Once he was done explaining in excessive, almost condescending detail the particulars of the items she needed to steal for him, she decided to ask some questions.

“So, tell me, Eddie,” Selina began, turning to him. “What inspired you to finally start looking like a professional criminal mastermind as opposed to an overworked grease monkey?”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Edward said, before clearing his throat and straightening, a smug smile on his face. “I came to the long overdue conclusion that, as Gotham’s one true genius and Batman’s superior, I should look after myself and be presentable. What’s on the outside should reflect what’s going on inside, so to speak. I mean, what a waste of a brilliant mind such as mine to live in a body akin to a starving, filthy rat scurrying about in the sewers?”

“So you are basically telling me you did this for yourself,” Selina said resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Edward’s narcissistic ramblings. “Are you sure you didn’t do this for any other reason?”

“Like what?” Edward asked, clearly puzzled by such a question.

“Hmm...well, let me ask this: Has Y/N seen your ‘transformed’ self?”

Selina noted how Edward’s blue eyes lit up upon hearing Y/N’s name, and suddenly, his obnoxious personality changed to a much more amiable one.

“She likes it,” Edward said with a bright smile. “Her compliments about my appearance go hand in hand with her compliments about my genius. It’s wonderful having someone around who actually appreciates my existence.”

“I take it that her approval means a lot to you then?”

“Of course! Considering she’s the only person who treats me with respect, I think she deserves the privilege of having me listen to, accept, and sometimes take her advice.”

Selina smirked as she had received the answer to her question.

“Well then, I must be going, Eddie,” she said as she turned to leave. “I’ll get you what you requested in no time.”

“Yes, please do,” Edward said sternly, going back to his arrogant tone. “My request should be of the utmost importance compared to whoever else you’re working with at the moment.”

“Yes, yes, Eddie, of course. Bye!”

[mego42]

207 Discussion Q’s

shout out and thank you to @pynkhues for putting these together even though she wasn’t gonna be here this week

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

obvs the dubby but underrated fav is Ruby and Jane in the closet, idk exactly why but I am starved for the families interacting with each other content (screw the timeline, the most unrealistic aspect of this show is that they aren’t constantly in and out of each other’s houses with ben and sara continually being called on to babysit) so this little snippet makes me levitate

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

the annie and noah scenes for sure. I mostly feel betrayed bc I really liked them the first time I watched (i have a lot of built in affection for sam huntington let me live) and now I’m like BEGONE FOUL BETRAYER and feel pre-emptive fatigue over annie’s taste in men and how that’s not going to get better any time soon

3. I know time does not exist in the Good Girls universe (or in reality anymore), but let’s start with a timeline question! The implication of the opening montage is that a bit of time has past since Beth strongarmed the partnership with Rio at the end of 2.06. How long do you think it’s been? And more importantly, what do you think these early days of their partnership looked like?

I tend to lean towards at least 2 months, maybe more based on:

the number of shoeboxes and how many times Beth’s shown making a closet deposit

how lived in their annoyance over Beth’s dividing her time and Rio pushing back feels

the implication (at least how i read it) that Rio’s annoyance stems from having to track Beth down which presumably implies they’d grumbled their way into a semi-functional working relationship prior (supported by their ease with each other in 208) and if the montage has only been a month, that would be a maximum of 4 meetings and I don’t particularly think that’s enough time for them to get over being extremely prickly with each other

the fact that Beth goes to Rio for help when Jane’s missing (again, to me implies a longer period of time to get over some of their antagonism than a max of 4 meets)

I imagine their initial partnership went something like Beth being a smug brat about forcing her way in, Rio being deliberately unhelpful and trying to force her to admit she’s in over her head (while still keeping enough of an eye on things that his money isn’t jeopardized), Beth stubbornly refusing to and finding ways to rise to the occasion, Rio being grudgingly impressed, Beth being annoyed with herself for how pleased she is over that. Lather, rinse, repeat until they’ve worn a cantankerous but bizarrely comfortable groove into each other.

meanwhile, Mick, Annie and Ruby are absolutely disgusted by everything happening in front of their eyes.

4. The first scene between Ruby and Turner in this episode is a really dynamic one! It’s pretty clear that Ruby’s afraid of Turner, but what do you think Turner thinks of Ruby?

I think he sees a big cartoon canister labeled "Beth Boland Bait"

5. Taking the kids to the drop was a pretty big mistake! What do you think Beth should’ve done in this instance? Do you think saying no again to Rio was an option?

CALLED BEN OR SARA FOR A BABYSITTING ASSIST. For fucks’ sake.

And yeah, I think she could’ve said no to Rio but he would’ve kept her cut of that drop and, even worse, would’ve been able to hold the fact that she didn’t deliver that one time over her head forever more.

6. The krav maga teacher offers some sage advice telling Dean to not order the hit and instead just divorce his wife, haha. Do you think that he thought the baby hitmen would come through for Dean? Or do you think he was deliberately setting Dean up to get robbed?

I choose to believe the krav maga teacher knew exactly what kind of an idiot Dean was and set him up because the dude clearly had at least two brain cells to rub together and anyone with two brain cells to rub together would never get tangled up in a murder plot with Dean standing on the street corner telling random bystanders in detail how he wants to kill the guy that fucked his wife what do you mean established means and motive Boland.

7. During Ben and Annie’s tense conversation, Ben tells Annie that she’s hard to keep track of - she’s parent mom, cool mom, sketchy mom. In a lot of ways, this feels like a parallel to Ruby talking to Beth in the last episode and calling her ‘drug Beth, gun Beth, human trafficking Beth’. What do you make of this? And how do you think it relates to the show’s themes?

I defer to @foxmagpie’s answer because I like it a lot. 

8. The scene with the girls in the house! Tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I love this scene a lot

Beth’s channeling Rio in general but also specifically in 201 you will never ever change my mind

Sometimes I lie awake at night wishing Rio had seen it

Prayer circle that he sees a version of it in s4

Can you imagine the nightmare level of boner he would get? The sheer narcissism!!

Ruby’s obvious wish for new friends is The Most Valid

I really love the main drug den guy, I love Blake Shields’s energy, it makes the scene crackle, and I wish they’d bring him back purely bc he’s gr9

9. Annie meets Noah in this episode! What do you think of their introduction to one another? And how would you rate Noah on the scale of ‘Garbage Annie Love Interests’?

at least he’s not her therapist I guess

10. Beth has two pivotal and emotionally revealing fights this episode - one with Dean and the other with Rio. How do these fights compare? And what do you think they tell us about her respective relationship with them?

UUUNNNNNFFFFFFFF

I L O V E how hard the show goes on Dean’s obsession with Beth and Rio as the primary source of his angst

the fact that he’s trying to rope Stan into murder while looking for Jane who isn’t even MISSING but Dean had NO IDEA bc instead of giving a shit he went straight to HOW CAN THIS BE THAT GUY’S FAULT

I love how clearly they delineate that it isn’t about Beth but specifically about someone else ~*~taking~*~ Beth from him and how emasculated that makes him feel (something something something the storyline opens with the krav maga guy choking him out and then telling him to divorce her and Dean being like I reject your rational and logical solution bc it doesn’t punish the man who touched my property, idk i have a half baked thought there but i can’t pull it out of my brain)

and then it’s all underscored how little Dean’s worried about Beth and her safety by him bringing her work up specifically as a gotcha (which, unless I’m forgetting something, is p much the only context Dean ever brings it up in besides maybe the sit down fight but that’s again, about Beth acting out vs genuine concern)

Meanwhile, this is contrasted with:

Beth flipping tf out at the mere suggestion Rio would ever hurt her children, showing how deeply and instinctively she trusts him in regards to her children aka what’s been established as her Most Important Priority over and over (in the same breath that she rips into Dean for losing Jane in the first place)

which is doubled down on her immediately going to Rio for help

and he is FURIOUS at her, but the thing he leans hard on isn’t how she could have jeopardized the business deal (aka his money, what’s been established as his Most Important Priority over and over) but how she jeopardized herself and how badly she can fuck up if she doesn’t take this seriously

putting himself in a vulnerable position (presumably burning a connect, letting on that Beth means something to him beyond business) to look out for Beth’s emotional well-being

And then, just to drive it home a little further, @sothischickshe pointed out the Beth and Rio fight over Beth’s self preservation is directly paralleled with Stan freaking out at Ruby over the IA stuff because he’s worried about her and I had to go and stare at a blank wall for a few minutes to calm down.

anyway, draw your own conclusions.

11. Ruby takes Jane being missing as an opportunity to try and find evidence on Beth for Turner and, in the process, finds Jane too. How do you think this scene captures Ruby’s moral dilemma? And do you think it’s a satisfying turning point in the Ruby-Turner arc?

I struggle a lot with the Turner and Ruby plot specifically because I HATE that Turner’s ruthlessly leaning on Ruby as the weak link but I’m also ferociously attracted to him so I’m less bothered by it than I feel like I should be so mostly I just try not to think about any of it.

Idk, I see it in some ways as a continuation of Ruby’s fight with Beth and Annie in s1 where Annie said she isn’t blood. They put Ruby on the outside but when push comes to shove, Ruby still puts the two of them above her own family. As far as I’m concerned, Annie still owes Ruby a massive apology for that. Beth I let off the hook a little because by the end of the season she’s ready to turn herself in to make it all go away for all of them (I think, unless I’m misremembering, which is entirely possible bc I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched all of 213)

12. RIO GETS BETH THE DUBBY!! That’s it, that’s the question. Please discuss.

I think a lot about how the gesture is so baldly honest neither one of them can face it either at all (Rio) or without taking a shot first (Beth) which, now that I’ve typed it out, is also an interesting flip of their general MO bc under normal circumstances I’d put Rio down as the one that, of the two of them, is more willing to face stuff whereas Beth’s the one that hides from it.

[waejinyoung]

Can’t Swim - EP . 4

word count: 9.7k+

a/n: i’m late. I’m well aware. i don’t really know what to say to be honest. i hope the episode being close to 10k words makes up for the long wait. there’s alot that goes on this episode. enjoy! we get a peak of jinyung’s pov at one point too! so exciting! no swimming lesson for today though :)

warnings: fluff shit near the end, swearing, dirtyminded stuffs, change in langugage at one point (ive placed translations too so no worries) 

EP . 1 , EP . 2 , EP . 3 , EP . 4 , EP . 5 , EP . 6 , EP .7 , EP . 8, , EP . 9

Thursday had arrived and you spontaneously called a friend who had come down to Jinhae to see if she was available midday. She happened to have some time to spare between her schedule so you two met up for brunch and a simple walk around a local park.

Thursday midday

“It’s been so long since we got to hangout Tan.”

Tan, short for Tanya, was your close friend from university. She now works in a global firm which meant she travelled quite often. You knew she was in Seoul and was going to travel to Busan for a bit. You asked if she could squeeze a bit of her day to travel to Jinhae to hangout and she was happy you offered.

“Tell me about it Y/N. You always claim that nothing had changed but I’m still going to ask. Anything new in your life? Anyone new in your life?” Tan had a smirk on her face knowing she was hitting spots that were non-existent, she thought.

“I usually answer no.” Tan’s face lit up due to the unexpected change.

“Go on…” She was getting extremely excited.

“I’ve met this guy- “

“You… MET A GUY??” Tan had absolutely lost it at this point, and she didn’t even know his name.

“Tan calm down. We’ve only known each other for a week and a half. He joined my beginners class last week.” She bursted into a loud laugh.

“You are telling me the guy you met can’t swim.”

“YA! Don’t be mean. He’s at least mustered up the courage at this age to come and learn. Some people can’t even manage to do that these days. They care too much about image.”

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to meet your soulmate in a swimming lesson. I thought maybe at the office- “

“You know how I’ve said I would prefer to spend the rest of my life with someone in a different sector of work. I won’t be able to stand someone from the same field of work bringing nothing new to the relationship.”

“I know, I know Y/N. You want to learn from each other rather than talk about the same topics. I understand where you are coming from.”

“But yeah. I don’t actually know what he works as. I’m meeting him tomorrow afternoon for ‘thing’ as he described it. He said I’ll be able to know then what he does then.”

“He seems really mysterious. I hope you’re not getting into something dodgy.” Tan was always protective when it came to you and guys. She knew you had a gullible and fragile personality when it came to men.

“I don’t think so. I don’t even know how to explain it. Every time I’ve been with him I’ve felt giddy and bothered. He does the bare minimum and my whole world flips- “

“Y/N”

You stop in your tracks realising that you had gotten way too ahead of yourself.

“Y/N, you sound like you’re in love. Or close in the least.”

“Tan I’ve known the guy coming up to 2 weeks.”

“Yes Y/N. I understand but you sound like you’ve known him for years and you’ve only just realised your feelings towards him. I haven’t even gotten to ask, what’s his name?”

“His name is Jinyoung. I don’t want to jump in too deep. These feelings need to be reciprocated in order for there to be progression. To him I’m probably just his swimming teacher.”

“Right, and since when did students meet their teachers outside of lesson hours and not only that basically go on dates.”

“YA don’t call them dates. We are just hanging out.”

“Hanging out my ass. He’s bringing you into his life and introducing you to his world. Enjoy the ride Y/N. He sounds like a keeper.”

“You think?” Tan nods and helps you come clear with your feelings.

You two continued with your walk in the park with Tan and settled on a bench after a while.

*ding*

You checked your phone having received a notification. It was Jinyoung.

“Hey Y/N. I hope you’re doing well. If you are still able to come for tomorrow we can meet at 7:00 pm. I’ll be waiting for you at the parking lot again.”

You hadn’t realised but you were smiling like a fool beside Tan.

“Yep, confirmed. It’s him isn’t it?”

You look up at Tan as she took you away from your little bubble. You gave her a nod.

“Y/N this is thee guy for you.”

You didn’t understand how Tan could be so sure. Yes, you have feelings for him but to claim Jinyoung as the guy for me was a little too much, right?

“How can you tell?” You were interested on what she had to say.

“You’re smiling like a 5 year old on Christmas Day. I haven’t seen you like this since you got a first in our last year of uni. This guy’s effect on you is so obvious. He can’t be empty back; I can bet on it. With me just talking about him you’re smiling like an otter.”

You hit Tan on the shoulder lightly for teasing you. You were going to be open-minded about the situation and know that anything can be possible.

“Anyways, why did he text?”

“He just let me know what time to meet up. He hadn’t mentioned it at first.”

“Good luck Y/N.”

Your day with Tan continued. You appreciated being able to catch up with an old friend. You started to feel thankful for Jooheon’s call off. You were able to do things you may have had to wait months for. Although you still wished the call off was given for a better reason.

…

Your day with Tan sadly ended earlier than you wanted, and she was off back to Busan for work.

You prepped breakfast for yourself this blissful Friday morning. You laid out a traditional Mediterranean breakfast since you now had the time. You missed it back home. To have this breakfast alone did drain it’s vibe, you were used to having these large breakfasts with your family. You took advantage of the weather and had breakfast on your balcony. The bay had to keep your company for now until you went back home.

You were caught off guard by a call from your company. You picked up.

“Miss?”

“Yes, Beck”

“We’ve got a dilemma.” You weren’t surprised.

“Go on.” You’d be shocked if something hadn’t gone wrong while you were out of office.

“The eco-hotel that was going to be built on two pieces of land- “

“What about it Beck?” Oh boy. What now?

“Another firm somehow bought one piece of land which we were going to use for the greenery requirements to pass the eco test.”

“Which firm? Beck I’m gone for a couple days and shit has hit the fan this badly?” This was the biggest project in your hands, and it was slipping right through.

“The next door firm- “

You hung up immediately. You were using all your might to not dash your phone into the sea ahead of you. Your rivalry between the next door firm had been going on for years but this time round it was going to be rougher than usual.

You rushed over to your closet and took out a navy suit alongside a simple white shirt + a pair of clear heals. With that you took your car keys and some documents to head to the company.

The speeding cameras could probably understand from the speed you were going at that something important was going on. You arrived at the entrance of your architecture office.

Yes, your full time job was as an architect.

You chucked your keys at the door keeper to park your car and dashed up to the 4th floor of the office. The whole company had turned into chaos in a matter of 2 days. All your employees were rushing around and there was around 6 people all surrounding Beck.

Beck was the second shareholder alongside you of the company. You both graduated as architects and decided to start your own firm as junior architects. Whenever one was out of office, the other covered for the both but this time round Beck was not able to handle all of this by himself.

You called out to Beck and his face changed from stressed to relieved. You and Beck moved to your office and discussed the situation working towards a solution.

A couple hours later

“Wait, Beck”

“Why can’t we just implement all the eco-factors into the hotel on one piece of land?”

Beck’s face was blanked 90% of the time until he heard your suggestion. He sighed a breath of relief.

“We can just add terraces and add green to the lobbies, outdoors and any other dead space we have.”

“You’ve done it again!” Beck rushed to hug the shit out of you. He raised you off your feet and swung you around.

“Beck, calm down!” He put you back on your feet with a large smile on his face.

“Y/N this is exactly why this company needs you?” You high five each other. A weight had lifted off both of your shoulders.

You hit Beck’s shoulder realising the rush you had been to get here.

“We could have solved this with a Facetime call. Did I really have to rush over here?”

Beck just gave a childish smile. We all knew he just wanted you to be there physically. He couldn’t be the only one suffering in the company. Even if it was for a couple of hours.

“That’s all?”

“Yep, can we not have a tea? You haven’t been at the company for days.”

You checked the time and saw it was 4:00 pm. You could spare some time for a quick tea.

“You did absolutely ruin a lovely breakfast that I had prepared at home. Tea’s on you.”

You guys walked down to ground floor to grab a tea from the company café. There was a duo table free near the entrance windows, so you guys sat there.

“Y/N. How do you manage to keep up with the projects and the swimming classes? Isn’t it too much?”

You’ve heard these questions from Beck on countless occasions. He knows the answer but just can’t process how it’s possible.

“Beck you know that the swimming classes don’t feel like a job to me. It’s so nice to share a skill with those who are unaware of it. I love seeing all the kids smile every lesson. It’s so refreshing and fun it makes me forget about the projects. When it comes to the company, I have a really reliable shareholder who fills my absence when needed.” You smiled at Beck knowing he would get an ego raise at the compliment.

“You bet. The other shareholder is extremely reliable.”

“You can always tell me if I start to drift a little too much from the company. I sometimes lose track on how much time I’ve spent on both jobs.”

“Y/N are you kidding me? You somehow do the same amount of work as me whilst having another time consuming job. You finish project drawings in less time than the workers that have nothing better to do. You’re doing more than enough, trust me.”

You smiled. It felt good that you were able to balance both jobs well with any concern.

“That’s good to hear. I have plans for the afternoon so I’m going to have to dip early. Thanks for the tea. Next time, consider a Facetime call when it comes to a similar dilemma.”

Beck waved you off as your car was brought back from the parking lot to you. You waved Beck goodbye as you drifted from the company back home to get ready for this “thing” tonight.

You arrived home to see the time was now 5:00 pm. You need to leave at 6:40 pm. That gives you an hour and forty minutes to get ready. You didn’t even know if there was a dress code. Was this a meal or an activity that you were going to? You circled in your walk-in wardrobe trying to figure out an outfit that would suit most occasions. You looked at casual floral dress. It would work only if it were daytime, it’ll be close to the evening so that won’t work. Jeans and a top? Too boring? Ugh.

You spent 30 minutes trying out outfits and hadn’t settled down on even one. You figured to solve the dress code problem by giving Jinyoung a ring. As much as it may be an embarrassing question you didn’t care. You weren’t going to take the risk and make a terrible impression of yourself to his circle.

He picked up.

“Hey Y/N. Are you well?”

“Hi Jinyoung. I’m well. I hope you’re too. I was getting ready for this ‘thing’ of yours, but I have no clue if this ‘thing’ will be taking place in a casual or formal setting. Basically, I don’t know what to wear.” You chuckled as you gave up trying not to be direct about why you called.

“Hahaha,” Great made a fool of yourself again, “I understand. I wouldn’t call it a formal setting. That’s for sure. A simple casual outfit would do. Just don’t come looking like a hobo.” He chuckled again.

“Great you just saved me from my worries of making a laughingstock of myself.”

“Don’t worry you won’t. See you at 7.”

“See you!”

Now that, that was out of the way you went back into your closet to pick out an outfit. You chose a pair of denim mom jeans and a black sleeveless bodysuit. You glammed up your outfit with silver jewellery pieces and your black Chanel bag. You wore a pair of white air forces to make sure your feet were comfy and headed over to your makeup stand.

You weren’t exactly a big makeup girl. You tended not to use a skin makeup like foundation or concealer. You basically used mascara and that was about it. You weren’t going to fake it; you were happy the way you were. Your lashes were curled, and you glided some mascara onto them. You weren’t going to bother with contacts this afternoon, so you put back on your turtle shell brown glasses. It was now 6:00 pm.

You had 40 minutes to spare so you went on your laptop to reply to some emails and work on some renders for the eco-hotel you worked on with Beck today.

40 minutes flew by and you shut your laptop and took a deep breath. Don’t fuck this up Y/N, you thought to yourself.

You hopped in your g-wagon and drove a new route to the entertainment company parking lot. Jinyoung was there like he had promised and waved you hello. You flashed your headlights as a way of reciprocating to Jinyoung’s wave. The gates slid open and parked your car in a free slot. There were more cars this time round. You guessed that there was something going on at the company.

“How have you been Jinyoung?” You greeted him as you locked your car.

“I’m a little nervous,” He saw your puzzled face, “You’ll understand why soon don’t worry.”

“Can’t wait.” You both strolled towards the entrance of the company. The same flashes started again. Like last time.

Jinyoung wrapped his arm around your shoulder and guided you quickly into the building. He whispered in your ear to keep your head low until he said so. You did as he said. Around 10 steps after walking into the building Jinyoung let you know that you could look up now. You were puzzled as ever. What is going on? Jinyoung realised the both puzzled but also annoyed/stern expression.

“Just a little longer. I promise.”

You guys took the escalator to the 2nd floor this time alongside several other people. It was busier than the last time you were here. A lot of cameras and staff. You could hear them whispering among themselves in the lift. You were sure you heard the words ‘actor’ and ‘script reading’. You had no clue what they were referring to. Probably some entertainment company things.

The lift arrived at the corresponding floor and you guys all stepped out. You were registering the things around you. There were banners hung up near the glass room ahead. They read ‘drama script reading’ and we were walking straight towards it.

You tugged on Jinyoung’s sleeve. You kind of felt uncomfortable feeling so alien-like in an extremely new environment. He took you to aside to avoid being in people’s way.

“Y/N I wouldn’t do anything to harm you. Trust me. This is all new to me as much as it’s all new to you. I wish I could be by your side, but we’ll be separated. Remember Bambam for last time?,” You nodded, “I’m going to sit you next to him and my other friends he’ll introduce you to them. Don’t worry they wont bite.” He lightly chuckled.

You guys slowly headed to the glass room. It was packed with tons of staff and people like you. A long banner was pinned up to the wall. When My Love Blooms was what it read. Underneath it in smaller font read four names. One of which was… Park Jinyoung.

He’s an… actor?

You saw Bambam like Jinyoung had said and was seated next to him. You took this chance to ask Bambam what in the world was going on.

“Hey Y/N.” Bambam seemed really excited too.

“Hey Bambam. Can I ask what’s going on?” He realised your puzzled expression. He could tell Jinyoung hadn’t told you anything about tonight.

“Jinyoung hyung hasn’t told you?” You shook your head no.

“Today is the first script reading of a drama Jinyoung hyung will be acting in. He’s the second male lead actor. He plays the younger version of the main character.” So, he was an actor.

“He didn’t even tell me that he was an actor. He hasn’t told me anything about his work.”

“That’s typical Jinyoung hyung. He’s usually secretive when it comes to work and this industry. It’s kind of complicated to explain but he treats all the new people in his life the same way don’t worry.”

“Right…” This whole industry thing was new to you too. You were going to go with the flow and see what happens.

“He also mentioned meeting his ‘circle’ as he described it. Who exactly is he referring to?” Bambam’s eyes lit up as he looked to his other side which consisted of 5 other guys. Very handsome you must say.

“Guys!” Bambam got the attention of all 5 of them.

“Bam what do you want now?” The guy with 2 moles on his eye lids looked up from his phone.

“Jinyoung hyung wants us to meet a friend of his.” You were kind of nervous. The one who had replied to Bambam had a bit of a cold aura.

“Really?” His expression kinda lightened.

“Yes hyung. Guys this is Y/N.” You gave a smile to all of them not knowing who should speak next.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you all.” That should do it.

“Hello Y/N. I’m Jackson.” He had a bright puppy smile on his face. He seemed like a social butterfly very eager to meet new people.

“I’m Mark.” Mark raised his hand to show who was talking. The staff were making a bit of noise, so his voice sounded a little muffled, but you were able to hear him. He seemed cool though.

“I’m Jaebeom.” The 2 mole guy spoke. He gave a sweet smile. You take back your thought of him having a cold aura. He seemed nice.

“I’m Yugyeom.” He started throwing gang signs trying to act cool. The guy beside him bursted out laughing and hit his shoulder trying to get him to stop. You joined in with him due to his contagious laugh.

“Hi Y/N. Last but not least I’m Youngjae.” He gave you wide and welcoming smile.

“So that’s everyone Jinyoung hyung wanted me to introduce you to. You’ll most likely see us often. We stick together most of the time.” Jaebeom rolled his eyes at the clingy child.

“How did you meet Jinyoung?” Jaebeom asked after putting his phone away.

“Actually, Jinyoung is my student. I’m his swimming teacher.” The guys looked at each other and started laughing.

“Waaa, that punk actually signed up to take lessons. Good on him, I thought he wouldn’t be able to.” You were kind of confused

“How come?”

“Jinyoung doesn’t like it when he’s not good at something. He’s an absolute perfectionist so to see him show a side of himself to people in a skill where he’s not thriving in… I didn’t expect him to actually sign up for classes.”

Ahh, so he’s a perfectionist.

“I didn’t know but he has been attending and cooperating well. He’s also a quick learner so he’ll be advancing quickly from my inspection.”

“Typical Jinyoung hyung,” Bambam commented, “He’s always good at everything.”

An old man stood up from the table Jinyoung was on and silenced the whole room for the beginning of the script reading. You looked over at Jinyoung to see that he was already focussed on you. He looked a little nervous so you sent over a small smile and nod to let him know that you’re fine and that he can do this.

“Thank you all for joining us today for the first script reading of When My Love Blooms. We will now be starting with the first episode reading. Let’s see how the actors have worked on their characters.”

You were excited to see what this was going to be like.

The script writing commenced, and everyone was concentrating on all the characters and the scene. The story line sounded really interesting and the chemistry between the actors and their characters seemed like a match made in heaven. You internally giggled when you found out that the main characters name was Jaehyun, remembering that this Jaehyun wasn’t the lifeguard Jaehyun back at the centre.

This side of Jinyoung looked so classy and sophisticated. He had a similar pair of glasses on like you and a simple black shirt on. He would move his glasses up whenever they would slip a bit whilst looking at his script. You could see how much he was in character and the passion in his voice trying to voice his inner Jaehyun.

“From today onwards, we’re dating.” The dialogue between Jinyoung and the younger role female lead continued until the director interrupted.

“I wish…” Everyone started laughing at the director’s sudden comment. I don’t blame him. The story line is to die for. If only life was the same.

Every now and again the boys beside you were trying to contain their laughs. They were like a bunch of brothers trying to find dirt on Jinyoung to tease him about later. They reminded you of your friends when you all hangout together specifically for someone’s occasion.

The script reading ended soon after the funny moment. The staff started packing up all the refreshments and the paperwork everywhere. The actors were taken to a little set up area to take teaser photos ready to be posted before the launch of the drama.

“So, Y/N…” Jackson caught your attention and you drew your eyes from Jinyoung and the other actors to Jackson.

“Yep.”

“You teach swimming lessons. Is that your full time job or is it a hobby sort of thing?”

“It’s a part time job I do on the side. I pursue a more serious career as an architect.” Jackson’s expression turned surprised.

“You’re an architect?” The rest of the guys circled around you with interested looks.

“Guys calm down. I just design buildings for a living. Me and a friend own a company- “

“You’re CEO?” Jaebeom launched himself forward towards you since he was out of it at first. Was it this big of a deal?

“More or less.” The boys all started clapping. The staff joined in thinking they were clapping for the actors and the end of the first script reading. You joined in to cover up for their initial intention.

Jinyoung joined you guys as the claps continued. He was baffed at what was going on, but you just shook it off. He whispered a simple ‘you good?’ in your ear. You nodded in response to his question. The group + you faced Jinyoung and continued clapping in his face like a bunch of seals. Jinyoung wrapped his hands around yours to stop you from clapping. The contact between you and him caught you off guard but his hands were warm and protective. Your small hands fit perfectly in his much larger hands. It felt like the contact you wished for years to happen between you and your dad but that never happened. Your eyes were close to tearing, but you knew showing any sign of sensitivity will trigger another load of questions not only from Jinyoung but the rest too. He removed his hands realising the awkward closeness he showed among all the guys.

The clapping ended.

“How was I?” Jinyoung diverted his attention from you to the rest of the guys.

“Jinyoung hyung as always performed well. I’m starting to get used to the fact that you’re good at everything hyung.” Yugyeom tried to act unphased but we all knew the experienced actor could see right through his lie.

“You outdid yourself again Jinyoung.” Jaebeom patted his shoulder like a granddad (lol).

“I’m jealous of the female character.” Everyone looked at Bambam waiting to continue why he said what he said.

“I’d wanna be dating Jinyoung hyung too, it’s not fair.” Jinyoung put an arm around Bambam’s shoulder and you all started laughing at the absurd comment.

“Jinyoung hyung already has someone in mind Bambam. You have to go search for someone else.” Jinyoung had someone else in mind? He likes someone? You just kept smiling trying to show you weren’t hurt from the sudden confession. Damn… looks like you were a little late Y/N. Of course, a fine man like Jinyoung wouldn’t go for you, you thought.

Jinyoung gave Youngjae a death stare. You guessed that wasn’t information he was willing to just share casually.

“I’m sure she’ll fall for you with those acting skills.” You tried to lift up the mood that had turned awkward. The guys gave you a look and then looked at Jinyoung. They knew who Youngjae was referring to. You were the only one that was oblivious to the situation.

“I hope so too Y/N. I hope so too.” Jinyoung gave you a warm smile. His eyes crinkled and his teeth gleamed white. Whoever she is, she’s lucky you thought.

“I’m starving, can we go for a meal?” Mark suggested as he changed the topic.

“Yh, Y/N you can also join us unless you’re busy.” Yugyeom kindly offered.

“No there’s no need. I don’t want to be interrupting your guys’ meal.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m sure Jinyoung will be happy with you joining us anyways.”

You looked over at Jinyoung and he just smiled. You guessed Bambam was right. You had nothing planned for the rest of the evening, so you joined them.

“Did anyone come by car? All the staff vehicles are being used for the director’s team.” Mark raised his hand although there was still a problem.

“Yh but there’s 8 of us Mark. Your car can hold 5 of us, what about the other 3?”

“Looks like it’s good that I’m coming then. I came by car too. The other 3 can come with me. I’ll follow Mark.”

“Are you windows tinted?” What a weird question to ask.

“Erm.. yes.”

“Great, that works.” Jaebeom clapped after the situation was solved.

“Let’s go half and half. I’m going with Y/N.” Bambam came by your side ready to follow you to your car. Jinyoung joined him and shrugged a helpless shrug towards Mark.

“You fuckers are leaving me, wow.” Mark put a hand on his heart acting like he was heartbroken.

“Don’t worry Mark. I’ll join you.” Jackson and Yugyeom joined Mark.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Youngjae offered to Jaebeom.

“Guys it’s just a car rid- “ They were actually doing this weren’t they.

“Rock, paper, scissors!” Youngjae threw rock and Jaebeom threw paper.

“Good luck putting up with Jackson and Yugyeom.” Jaebeom waved Youngjae a farewell. Now that this was decided, you guys headed out of the company building.

“I’ll tail you until our destination. Just in case we lose your car, does anyone riding with me know where we are going?” You walked along Mark settling on an agreement.

“Yh, Jinyoung knows where we are going. He can guide you just in case you lose the car.”

“Great.”

“By the way Y/N…”

“Yes…”

“Actually, don’t worry. It’s nothing important.”

“Sure…” You couldn’t lie. You kind of wanted to know what it was that he was going to say.

“WAAAAA… Y/N you’re full of surprises. First it turns out that you’re actually an architect now we find out you rock a classy car too. Keep it coming.” You guess Bambam is the type to hype his friends. Like you mentioned before, praise is something that motivates you. It’s rewarding.

“WAAAAA… Bambam it’s just a car.” You mimicked him.

“Yh… but a really nice car.” He eyed your possession and circled round it.

“Look at this big boy… what did you name it?” This kid honestly.

“I shall not be disclosing that piece of information.” Bambam gave you puppy eyes in hopes for it to work.

“Fine. He’s called Prince.” You shut your eyes with your hands to avoid the embarrassment.

“Ahhhh and because you own him… does that make you a Queen?” You laughed at Bambam’s analogy.

“No specific reason for the name Bambam. Come on, Mark and the others are waiting for us.”

Jinyoung took the passenger seat beside you whilst Jaebeom and Bambam sat behind. Bambam specifically behind you.

“Everyone seat belts on please. I trust my driving, but I don’t trust the driving of others.” You smiled at your comment. So vain.

“I’m going to tell Mark hyung you don’t trust his driving.” Bambam is an actual kid, you concluded in your mind.

“That’s not what I meant Bambam.”

“I know, I know.” You started the car as all of the guys, and you had put on your seatbelts.

You signalled to Mark for him to go ahead since your car was now ready. You followed his white Jeep out of the parking lot and started your journey.

“So where exactly are we going to?” You still didn’t know what you was going to be eating for dinner.

“We often go to this seafood place near the bay. The fish comes fresh every day and they also have non-fish options too. Jackson doesn’t like seafood much, so it works well for him too. You’ll definitely like it.”

Hmm, there was a restaurant at bay that you also went to often similar to what Jinyoung was describing. Maybe it’s the same place.

“What’s the place called? I live near the bay so I may know of it.”

“It’s called Ali’s Clam.” Bambam responded from the back.

“Ali with the lisp?” If he replies yes now, you knew exactly where you were going.

“You know of him?” Of course.

“We come from the same country. I’ve known him since I moved to Jinhae. He was one of the first people I met.”

“Small world. Weird how we didn’t recognise each other. We must have been present at the same time at some point.” Jaebeom figured.

“I would agree but I always order into the company or home. I don’t usually have the time to eat in. It’ll be a great surprise for him too since it’s been a while I’ve been at the restaurant.”

A couple minutes of silence went by. You had some music from back home playing quietly as you drove to Ali’s. You do love jamming loudly to music but only when alone. You weren’t going to embarrass yourself in front of people you’ve only met a couple hours ago.

“So where exactly are you from Y/N?” You appreciated how the guys actually wanted to get to know you.

“My parents are both Turkish. Although… I was born and raised mostly in London. I did go back often to see family, but I lived and grew up in London. Studied there and then work led me to Jinhae.”

You stopped at a red light.

“I was going to ask what coloured contacts you used. I guess they are real.” Bambam and his ridiculous questions.

“Yes, they are real Bambam. Sorry to disappoint.”

“It’s okay. I’ll just stare at them instead.” This kid. Jaebeom and Jinyoung laughed at the sadness in Bambam’s voice.

“I’ll let you borrow them if you want.” Bambam triggered your sarcasm to come out. What a fool.

“I’d be honoured.” You liked how he continued.

“So, Y/N…” Jinyoung spoke up.

“You’re an architect?” You just nodded and you kept your eyes on the road.

“Why teach swimming then?” This question again.

“Here’s how I’ll answer that question,“ He was listening, “Isn’t it so refreshing and fun being with the kids in our group? To see their faces light up every Monday morning because of me and my lessons. It’s an amazing feeling knowing I’m touching their lives by giving them a life skill that they’ll be grateful for. It never feels like work.”

As you explained your reasons, Jinyoung had been staring at you in deep thought. The way you were concentrating on the road as you spoke about pure innocent things. The way you were so passionate about helping the kids learn a vital skill. He couldn’t register everything at once and felt so overwhelmed. Your eyes glistened as you continued talking about your love for the kids and how much you loved swimming. He watched your every move and could feel his heart thumping stronger than usual. He knew what was happening and was willing to comply to his heart.

You realised you had been rambling off for a while and hadn’t heard a single thing from Jinyoung. You glanced to your side to see a loving stare coming your way. You wished you could reciprocate but eyes on the road was something you were going to stick to. He realised his own stare and directed his look to Bambam. You just smiled. Luckily it was dark, so your flamed up cheeks weren’t visible to anyone.

…

Your phone rang… it was Max. You guys still hadn’t sorted out whatever it is that’s between you two now. You didn’t know if you should pick up. Due to the lovely thing called technology, your car picked up on the fact that you were getting a call so everyone could see who was calling. Jinyoung aware of who Max was.

“Feel free to pick up.” Jinyoung prompts you to pick up.

“You guys okay if I pick up?”

“Go ahead.” The other two responded.

You picked up the call.

“Hey Max, how are you?”

“Doing better Y/N. You free to talk?”

“Yh sure, go ahead.”

“I wanted to talk about Monday.”

You looked over at Jinyoung. He didn’t seem phased, but you felt uncomfortable.

“I’m listening.”

“Stay away from him.” Not this again.

“Elaborate ‘him’.”

“You know who I’m on about Y/N. Don’t make me say his name.”

“Elaborate or I’m hanging up.”

“Fine. I’m on about Jinyoung.” Oh boy the air in this car just got even more awkward.

“Fuck my life Max. You’re still dragging this out? Can you speak up like a man with a pair of balls?”

Jaebeom and Bambam looked at each other. They sensed the change in atmosphere as expected.

“Alright Y/N. What I’m saying is you have to stay away from Jinyoung from now on! I see the way he looks at you Y/N. His ass is so whipped for you and it has only been 2 lessons- “

“And?” The awkwardness had hit cloud nine. You wanted to hide in a box and stay away from humans for weeks at this point, but you had to stay strong. You weren’t going to give in like a weakling.

“What do you mean ‘and?’? Aren’t you bothered? Are you ready for someone else to crush your heart again just like Chas- “

“Don’t you dare say his name.” Max was crossing over the line. This call being on speaker didn’t help either.

“You get the point. Your ass is going to fall deep into his trap too only to be left like a shattered mirror again. Continue being like this and I won’t be there to fix you either.”

With that Max hung up. You didn’t speak. You were trying to contain the anger you were feeling rise up. You were carrying lives in the car. You weren’t going to express the anger now.

“You good?” Bambam couldn’t stand the silence and asked the comforting question. You had to be honest. You weren’t exactly feeling like answering although you thanked him internally for caring.

You mustered up the energy to talk after burying the anger inside.

“I deeply apologise for what just happened. I didn’t exactly want you guys to witness this not-so-nice side of me let alone on our first meeting,” You faced Jinyoung for a split second, “I owe you another apology. I don’t know what’s gotten into him but- “

“You truly are unaware aren’t you.” Jaebeom interrupted you. Kind of rude.

“I don’t know who that guy was, but he sounds extremely jealous.” This again. Jinyoung opted to stay silent.

“You think?”

“I think? It’s almost fact. He sounds so riled up. As a guy the only reason I’d ever be so ‘like him’ would be because I’m jealous.” For everyone to say this keeps solidifying the assumption. You guess everyone was right.

“Jaebeom hyung is usually right when it comes to knowing things. What he says usually turns out correct. I also agree. He sounds pissed and jealous.”

You chose to stay silent until you arrived at the restaurant. Everyone went back to what they were doing before the rude call. A couple minutes later you all arrived at Ali’s Clam.

You and Mark parked near the venue and walked it to the table Ali had given the rest.

“No way!” Ali ran up to you and gave you a warm hug. It had been around 1 month since the last time you saw him. Although you could feel the life being squeezed out of you too.

“Ali let me breath,” you laughed as you hugged him back, “It’s good to see you too.”

“Y/N seni bir aydır görmüyorum. Nerelerdesin?”

[“Y/N I haven’t seen you for a month. Where have you been?”]

“Bizim büro büyük bir proje kaptı. Beck’le onun üstünde çalışıyoruz. Biliyorsun ki yüzme derslerim de var buraya gelmeye zaman bulmak zor oluyor.”

[“Our firm received a big project. I’ve been working on it with Beck. You know about the swimming lessons too, it’s hard to find time to come.”]

The guys all picked up the change in language. This is what it must feel like for our fans, they thought to themselves.

“So how come you know of these lot?” He was referring to Jinyoung and the rest, “And how do you guys know of Y/N?”

Yugyeom stepped up to explain.

“Long story short, Y/N is Jinyoung’s swimming teacher. The rest of us met Y/N today at Jinyoung’s script reading.”

“Riiiight… So, what can I get you guys today? Everything’s on me!” Ali clapped in excitement for reuniting with his friend alongside his favourite customers.

“Can we get our usual lobster in the middle plus the baby crabs plus Jackson’s order?” These guys don’t order the stuffed oysters. What in the world?!?

“You know what else to add Ali. I can’t believe you guys don’t order the stuffed oysters. It’s Ali’s signature dish.”

“I got you Y/N! I’ll make it a bigger portion so the rest of you guys can try it too.” Ali jotted down the order on his little notepad.

The small chit chat continued. You were sat between Jaebeom and Jinyoung. Your table looked out to the bay and was decorated with shells and blue and white ribbons. You always loved the ambience of this restaurant. It reminded you of the fish restaurants back in Turkey that you and your mum would go to when you were younger. Whenever you felt homesick you knew you could come here to sink the feeling away.

“So, Miss is an architect.” Jinyoung turned to you as the rest spoke among themselves.

“I guess I am, and Mr is an actor” You chuckled. You both found out each other’s careers in very different ways.

“I guess I am.” He mimicked you. You eyed him having picked up on what he was doing.

“So, what’s the story behind you and everyone? How did everyone meet each other?”

“Get ready for another surprise. I’m not exactly just an actor… All 7 of us make up a k-pop group called GOT7.”

“Yh, right.” You laughed at him assuming he was joking around.

“Wow don’t believe me. Guys!” Jinyoung got the attention of the rest of the guys.

“Jaebeom hyung when did we debut?”

“16th Jan 2014.”

“Seun-ah what was our debut song?”

“Girls, girls, girls they love me” Jackson sang and displayed some hand movements along with it. Were they being serious?

Ali came over with the baby crabs and the stuffed oysters. He was just about to go back for the lobsters but Jinyoung asked Ali the same questions he had asked Jaebeom and Jackson.

“You guys debuted under JYP Entertainment as GOT7 on 16th Jan 2014 with the song,” he changed his stance like he was ready to dance, “Girls, girls, girls they love me.”

“Jackson also had a plant sticking out from the top of his head then.” The boys started laughing but Jackson gave Ali a deaf stare. Ali gave him an apology hug and insisted that he couldn’t let the opportunity slide.

“Is that why you kept your job a secret at first?” Jinyoung nodded.

“People tend to act different towards us as if we are not ordinary people. There seems to be this analogy of a pedestal where we are placed higher and we don’t really like that since it makes it hard for us to get to know genuine new people. Me keeping that a secret meant you looked at me for who I was not for someone who was a singer.”

“That makes sense. People forget behind the stage and platform there’s someone just like all of us with feelings and hobbies. We all like to chill, lounge around, go for a walk. It makes up only a part of us not all of us, but many people don’t see it that way. So, I understand why you chose to hide it although I can let you know that I’m not one of those people. It’s the inside that counts.” You pointed to your heart. Jinyoung just kept falling for all the mutual comments you were making. He agreed with everything that was escaping from your mouth.

“I’m happy we are on the same page.” He ruffled your hair like you were a 10 year old kid. His eyes gleamed with playful energy. You wish you could have stared longer but you were among his friends. You didn’t want them to get the wrong idea. With that you sorted your hair along with Ali placing the lobster and Jackson’s dish on the table.

“Ellerine sağlık Ali. Her zaman ki gibi çok güzel kokuyor her şey.”

[“Thank you for the meal Ali. Like always the food smells really good.”]

“This isn’t fair we don’t understand.” Bambam started sulking like a kid.

“I’ll try and contain myself. Since I usually come here alone I’m used to speaking in Turkish with Ali. Sorry.” You showed your innocent eyes (not an aegyo way, not a fan) to Bambam.

“If you look at me like that, how can I even get annoyed? Talk all you want I trust you wouldn’t speak ill of us to Ali.” You smiled at the kind words from Bambam.

“Let’s tuck in!” Youngjae suggested. You all started tucking into the food laid out. You had convinced Jaebeom to try the stuffed oysters since no one would say yes. You showed him how to open the oyster and scrape the filing with one shell from the other. Then eat from it like it was a spoon.

“How is it?” You tried to read his expression. He continued chewing and his eyes started to widen.

“We’ve been missing out.” Mark passed his plate over to you for you to put some oysters on his plate after seeing Jaebeom’s reaction.

“How do you did it again Y/N?” Mark asked.

“Let’s do this. Anyone who wants to try it put your hand up?”

Everyone but Jinyoung and Jackson put their hand up.

“I’ll let Jackson slide since you don’t like seafood,” You turned to Jinyoung, “This is bad sportsmanship come on everyone’s willing to try.”

JINYOUNG’S POV

She’s hitting you with those colourful starry eyes again. How could you say no?

“Fine Y/N. For your sake.” A wide smile spread across her face. She passed you an oyster too.

“If everyone’s ready, watch me then copy. We good with that?”

“This sounds like another swimming lesson.” You couldn’t help but remind her how similar her instructions sound like her lessons.

“Wooow. Are you criticising my teaching?” You could now pick up on her sarcasm. She wasn’t being serious. You just shrugged playing secretive like always.

“You should appreciate you haven’t drowned with your skills.” Oh no she didn’t.

“WAAAAAAA… I like it. Finally, someone else as savage as me.” Bambam high fived you across the table. Jaebeom had his mouth agape and Youngjae looked at you.

If the guys had made that sort of comment, it would have been game on. But when it came to Y/N, you couldn’t even find a way of retaliatin. Not only did you not know much about her, you got caught looking at her in disbelief. Your brain couldn’t register a comeback.

“Waaa… she actually got him silent. You achieved something I haven’t for the past 6 years Y/N.” Yugyeom started clapping. You looked at him and your eyes did the job. He stopped clapping as soon as he realised he weren’t going to take shit right now.

“Like I was saying. We ready?” Everyone raised their oysters. You watched her eagerly demonstrate how to eat her cuisine. Her passion for her homeland was present and you liked how she was patiently teaching you all how to eat the delicacy.

“Then you scrape it like it’s a spoon using the empty shell, like this.”

Surprising you all were pretty good. None of you dropped the filling on your plate.

“Then…,” Y/N got up from her seat and grabbed a lemon slice, “You squeeze some lemon on it. Keep your oysters up a little I’ll come around and squeeze some.”

She went around the table and dispersed some lemon.

“Now voila, eat.” You were a little hesitant. You weren’t a big fan of oyster, but you were willing to try it based on Y/N’s recommendation.

And you weren’t disappointed. The combination of the crustacean, rice and the herbs worked so well together. You could see why Y/N was surprised when this wasn’t a part of the group’s order. It tasted delicious.

“I can read all your faces now and no one seems disgusted besides Jackson.” She laughed at Jackson’s reaction to all of you tasting the new dish.

“Bro, how do yall do it?” Jackson questioned.

“Do what Jack?” Mark didn’t understand.

“Eat seafood. Madness.” Jackson resumed to eating his burger.

Ali dropped by having seen you guys taste the oyster.

“What do you guys think?” Ali asked.

“Y/N is right. Ali where have we been?” Youngjae was experiencing his version of food enlightenment.

“I don’t know Youngjae. Where have you guys been?” Ali laughed at Youngjae’s absurd question.

You guys dug into your food whilst conversing and getting to know each other. It turned out that Jackson and Y/N were close to meeting each other earlier on in life. If they had both pursued in their sports and competed in the Olympics there was a chance they would have met. Small world. Jackson explained to Y/N how he switched his career path and Y/N spoke about the lack of opportunity and motivation in that field left her to divert her attention to architecture. Both succeeding exceptionally well in their fields.

Y/N’S POV

“So, what’s been like your biggest project so far?” Mark asked since you both stopped eating having felt close to full.

“We have an active project going on right now for an eco-hotel set to be built near the end of the bay. The client is a really well-known person although I can’t disclose who he is due to privacy regulations. I can say you are all well aware of who he is that’s for sure. I never imagined someone with such high status would want us to design something for him but yh… we are working on it.” Y/N explained.

“That’s really cool. It’s nice to hear what people are doing in different industries. We are always surrounded by the entertainment industry so it’s nice to see a different expression of creativity going on around us.” You appreciated Mark’s kind words and appreciation for the architecture field. The field didn’t receive much cover and is overlooked so it was nice to hear those words.

“I agree. The same thing goes for you guys. I have one friend who does work got to do with music production although I didn’t really get much insight into what he did. It must be really warming having an audience who support you and your work constantly.” You liked having logical conversations. It seems like Mark’s somebody you would get along with well. He seems very knowledgeable.

“Ali! Can you bring over a couple bottles of soju?”

“Coming right up Jaebeom!”

Ali came pacing to our table and placed 7 glasses and 5 bottles of soju. He knew you didn’t drink.

“You forgot another glass.”

“Ah, I don’t drink.” You waved off Jaebeom.

“Waaa… does that mean we all get to drink? We have a driver to get us home guys!” Jaebeom joked around since you would be sober.

Ali came back since he heard what Jaebeom had said, “7 drunk guys and Y/N that sounds like chaos.”

“Come on Ali! We aren’t that bad drunk, are we?”

“Definitely not Jaebeom.” You picked up on Ali’s sarcasm.

“I’ll join Y/N for today. We won’t drink you guys go ahead.” Jinyoung joined the sober team for today.

“Jinyoung hyung~ you’re like the most entertaining person when drunk. Are you just too scared you’ll end up confessing to Y-“ Yugyeom smacked his hand across Bambam’s mouth and kept it shut. Was he about to say your name? Nah… surely not.

“You guys know I’ve been cutting down on drinking. There’s no other reason besides how wild we are when we are drunk. Can’t let Y/N handle all of 7 of us alone.” You appreciated his concern.

“Thanks.”

…

It took about 20 minutes for all 7 of the guys to be out of it. You and Jinyoung took the opportunity to part from the group and walk along the beach.

You could hear the waves crashing gently in the summer breeze. You took a second to take deep breaths of fresh air.

“Ah…” You sighed as you let out the fresh air, “Don’t you just love the sea?”

“I think I would like it more if I could swim in it.” You giggled at his confession.

“I’ll make that happen one day. I promise.” You smiled up at Jinyoung as you watched your feet sink into the sand as you guys walked. You both stayed silent until something came up to mind.

“I mean you can still have fun in the sea without having to swim in it.”

“Wow, I thought Jaehyun was the dirty minded one. I can see who he learnt it from.” He eyed you knowing that what he was hinting at was most likely something that wasn’t on your mind.

You were gobsmacked. Him too? Were all guys like this?

You slapped his shoulder, “You guys are atrocious. I meant splashing each other.” As you said the word ‘splashing’ you knelt down and splashed water at Jinyoung.

He was ready to win you over at this fight. He retaliated with even more water and caught you off guard. You guys ran up and down the beach trying to splash one another as well as not get caught by the flying water droplets. The cool breeze made the water on your body colder than usual. You guys were practically drenched when you dropped on your ass because your foot got caught sunk in the sand.

“You okay?” Jinyoung crouched down to your level and smiled at you like a child.

“I would be if my ass wasn’t soaked.” He lent you a hand. Was he this naïve? You took the opportunity to give Jinyoung a taste of what it felt like. You grabbed his hand and dragged him done to your level.

“I should have seen that coming.” Damn right he should have. You both chuckled as you watched the moon and the rippling reflection on the sea’s surface.

You started to tear up at the familiar scene although the person beside you wasn’t the person in the flashback. It was Chase. Chase was your ex-boyfriend. He was probably the best shot you had with a guy and things were going well until you found out that he was cheating on you for 2 months with a waitress at Ali’s restaurant. You had shared your ups and downs with him meaning him cheating on you left you extremely hopeless for other guys. Max’s extra possessive and protective reached its peak during that time hence the phone call today. When Ali found out, he fired the waitress immediately knowing how hurt you would feel every time you came across her at the restaurant. Even worse when she was with Chase. You guys would hang out at the beach after meals similar to how you and Jinyoung had today. Although today felt different, Jinyoung meant more to you than Chase in a shorter period of time. You still lacked on so much about Jinyoung, but he never gave off a single bad impression on any occasion. You trusted him.

He realised your mood change.

“Did you come here often with him?” How did he…

“I can tell you haven’t been here alone before. Did you guys come here together before? With the guy Max was about to mention on the phone call.” Smartass.

“Wow, I didn’t even need to explain. You’re spot on.” You let out a chuckle. It must have been really obvious.

“It must suck. We can go back-“

“No, no… I’m not going to let past memories be the reason for me to run away from a beautiful landscape. You being here helps too.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Although my backside is about to drop off.” You had completely forgotten that your bottom halves were being repeatedly soaked by the crashing waves.

“Not having much fat in that area is a struggle isn’t it. I can’t relate.”

“I have you know I have an ass.” You were dying at the confidence. You make sure to check him out secretly when the peach is in view.

“Clearly not big enough for the cold.” He pushed you over and your back got soaked from the damp sand.

“Ahhhh! Jinyoung I’m gonna catch a cold. It’s freezing!”

You were going to get your pay back. You launched your hands onto his shoulder in the hopes that he would also fall back but you underestimated his strength. You guys squabbled trying to put the other down. As expected he had you done in no time grasped onto your wrists. Some water droplets from his shirts fell down onto your warm skin. The position you guys were in raised the heat of your body at an unhealthy rate. Your faces were inches away just like how they were at during the water dodgeball game. Your chests heaved trying to get back your breaths, but he looked too good to be true. How could you go back to breathing normally when he looked gorgeous?

“Still cold?” He swept you away from your thoughts.

“Y-Yh…” You were boiling to be exact.

“This should help.” He dropped lower towards your face. Your noses brushed each other’s, and you could now feel his warm breath across your face. He looked deeply into your eyes as if there was a transcript written in them. He took his time analysing your features until he got to your lips. He couldn’t help staring at your lips for a little longer than your other features until he couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to make the first move he wanted to make since the beginning.

He teased your lips slowly making contact with them not knowing this was going to be the beginning of something life changing. You moulded into his lips and you could understand that he wanted this as much as you did. The passion as he moved trying to taste every inch of you made you blame yourself for not noticing his interest sooner. You were most definitely not cold anymore.

You were happy that your interests were not one sided and couldn’t wait for what else this new possible love had in store.

---

Thank fudge cakes this episode is over. I apologise for how late this episode has been. I think the word count being close to 10k explains why it took so long. I struggled to find a place to stop for this episode, so I just continued writing until I was happy with it. A lot goes down in this episode so grab a snack and enjoy. It was also really nice bringing in some native tongue into the series. I’d like to get your opinions on whether I should continue with the native tongue conversations between Y/N and Ali. I also introduced Y/N’s full time job. I hope it was a nice surprise for you guys. Until next episode 👋 

writer-nim x

[tjkiahgb]

Cyrus’s Doppelgänger: An Investigation

I’m reminded of a joke from an old episode of The Simpsons.

In the episode, Homer takes a job in a different town. Shortly after he and the family arrive at their new house, his eccentric boss, Hank Scorpio, shows up to greet them. He talks about his moccasins and tells Homer he left him a pair, but if Homer doesn’t like them, then neither does he. He takes his moccasins off and tosses them away.

This exchange, which lasts all of five seconds, has led to years upon years of furious debate on the internet, which is weird because normally the internet just lets stuff go.

What did Homer mean? Did he say “Yes, once” because he just saw that very thing happen moments ago and the joke is about him being stupid? Did he mean he saw that same thing happen prior to that day and the joke is about the randomness of life?

The whole thing is so vague and absurd that the answer isn’t clear and both choices can be considered workable solutions.

Why do I bring this up?

Because I believe Andi Mack has a similarly ambiguous joke.

One which has caused a lot of strife.

One which has been on my mind for well over a year.

One which I determined I needed an answer to.

This called for an investigation. And not just any investigation. A cool, trendy, documentary series-style investigation, with multiple parts split up by stylish titles.

After half a year of research -- reviewing hours and hours of tape, conducting hundreds of interviews, and reading some notes -- I believe I may have found an answer.

This whole mystery begins back in episode four of season two. Titled “Mama,” the episode was directed by Eyal Gordon and written by series creator Terri Minsky herself.

In a scene that occurs about midway through the episode, Jonah teaches Cyrus how to skateboard and he says, “You’re one of a kind, Cyrus.”

To which Cyrus responds...

Stop and think about this for a second. What exactly is the meaning behind this joke?

I believe before we can begin to investigate any possibilities, we have to first look at the definition of the word “doppelgänger.” And the best way to do that is to go to the source.

One of the earliest English dictionaries ever produced is A Table Alphabeticall, published in London in the year 1604 and written by Robert Cawdrey. There are no known images of Robert Cawdrey so I made one.

Cawdrey’s dictionary still exists today. It is kept in the Bodleian Library at the University of Oxford.

Now, I’m not a professional investigator, but having watched quite a few of these documentaries, I knew the best move was to always follow your instincts. So I followed my investigator’s instincts and booked a first-class ticket on a non-stop flight to England to see the dictionary.

Well imagine my surprise and disgust when the stuffy librarians at Oxford wouldn’t let me handle the dictionary or highlight the passages I wanted. I tried to explain to them what tumblr was and they didn’t get it. They told me I couldn’t have their precious little dictionary even after I told them I came all the way from America for this!

And then someone started trying to tell me that Cawdrey’s dictionary was published almost 200 years before the invention of the word “doppelgänger,” so even if I could dig through A Table Alphabeticall, I wouldn’t find it in there. Let me tell you, I did not take that well. There was a lot of yelling on both ends and then they called security on me.

Long story short, I returned to America $12,000 in the hole and no closer to solving the mystery.

Once back in America, I decided to go to the Merriam-Webster website and look up the definition and take a screenshot of it.

I tried to make it look old-ish though. It looks like a scan from an old book, right? Okay. Cool.

Now, look at those definitions. The word “doppelgänger” is literally German for “double-walker.” Keep this all in mind as we move forward. We’re not talking about shared interests here. We’re talking about clones, we’re talking about mirror images, we’re talking about twins separated at birth -- things of that nature.

We’re also talking about ghosts? I don’t think this is a ghost thing though, so let’s ignore the second definition.

It’s also, I guess, just literally anyone who has the same name as you? That’s ridiculous. So, what, every John Smith has millions of doppelgängers? Dumb. So dumb. Ignore that definition, too.

Let’s just hone in on the one about seeing your look-alike.

So, when Cyrus says he’s met his doppelgänger, who is he talking about?

Fans, in discussing this joke before, had considered Iris as a possible solution.

In fact, it’s sort of commonly accepted that Cyrus is talking about Iris because she was still a part of his life at that time so she could easily be on his mind, and they share a lot of similar interests.

And, frankly, she’s really the only person this joke could’ve been about, if it was a reference to someone we’ve actually seen in the show.

But let’s think back to the definition of a doppelgänger. Does that really sound like it’s describing Iris? Again, this isn’t about those shared interests. This isn’t about how much you gel with someone. This is about seeing your visual counterpart.

For a refresher, let’s take a look at both characters from an earlier episode.

Now, the differences are subtle but I think if you really look closely you can tell they aren’t doubles because they look like entirely different people.

I believe we accepted Iris as the answer because she was there. It was convenient and it allowed us to move on. But thinking about it now, it was clear that choice was just to provide us comfort. That doesn’t mean it was correct. Far from it.

So, no, Iris clearly isn’t Cyrus’s doppelgänger. And if that’s the case, then who might he be talking about?

There had to be another answer. But what?

The trail went cold for several months.

Until one day I was rewatching the season two episode, “For the Last Time,” and found a game-changing clue.

In “For the Last Time,” Cyrus and Andi prepare a time capsule for Buffy before she moves away.

In the scene in which the two place objects into the time capsule, Andi chooses to add a picture of them at Costume Day in the 6th grade.

There! Stop!

Zoom in and enhance!

More! Zoom in and enhance more!

Not good enough! Zoom in and enhance more!

Dammit! I thought. Why was this happening to me, of all people? I was running an investigation, not a tile art workshop! How come when I shouted “enhance” at my screen it didn’t enhance?!

Faced with a dilemma, I did what any veteran investigator would do: I threw more money at the problem. After spending $2,300 on a completely new computer setup in an attempt to enhance, failing to enhance once again, and then spending two days going back and forth on the phone with IT specialists, I was told “enhance” was not a thing.

My inability to enhance was another tremendous blow to the investigation.

Or it would have been, except that the picture appeared another time in the show, in the season one episode, “Terms of Embarrassment,” when Bowie put it in his video for Andi.

Should I have started this chapter with this picture? Probably!

But I wanted you to know I had to suffer through several long conversations with IT nerds where they were constantly rude to me about what I could and could not do on a computer. They kept making snide remarks about how I spent way too much on a setup I didn’t need, and I kept telling them I called to get tech support, not a lecture. It was very trying.

Anyway, now that you know that, let’s “enhance” this picture.

Just as I had thought: Cyrus Goodman, wearing a costume.

But what was that costume? Who -- or what -- was he dressed as?

The hard work began again. After weeks of research, during which I spent thousands of dollars purchasing and reviewing Blu-ray movies and television show collections, I was finally able to make an educated guess. His costume appeared to be the fictional character Bunga.

To confirm, I went looking for official Bunga costumes on the internet.

I found only these toddler-sized ones:

Not a match to Cyrus’s costume. A set-back to the theory to be sure.

However, I assumed that Cyrus, since he is marginally larger than a toddler, also ran into the same problem I did and therefore had to make his own Bunga costume.

Luckily, if you were looking to make such a costume, there are a few pictures online of homemade Bunga costumes that could help guide you in the process, like this one I found from an enthusiastic fan on Pinterest.

Seemed like a match to Cyrus’s costume. The theory was back on track.

All of this led to the next important question the investigation needed to answer: who is Bunga?

Bunga is a character from the animated TV show, The Lion Guard.

This is Bunga.

According to one of the greatest sources of man’s collective knowledge, The Lion Guard fandom wiki, Bunga is Timon and Pumbaa’s adoptive nephew.

This raises a lot of questions, not the least of which about the nature of Timon and Pumbaa’s relationship.

Also, can you just adopt a nephew? What legal rights does that give you? Those of an uncle? What are those? Is that just the right to pick up your nephew from school when his parents are busy? The right to drink too much at a family gathering and start talking politics? The right to take your nephew to a horror movie he’s too young to see that’s going to give him nightmares for the next decade?

I interviewed several lawyers who told me Avuncular Law was not a thing. They also didn’t want to go on record answering hypotheticals about talking animals adopting each other. This didn’t really impede the investigation in any way, but it was wildly unsatisfying on a personal level to not get these answers.

Anyway, The Lion Guard fandom wiki tells us that some of Bunga’s personality traits include: “[having] a soft spot for baby animals,” “[being] somewhat of a comedian who likes telling jokes to his friends in which they sometimes find funny,” and “also at times, Bunga can be clever at times.”

Bunga is also considered very “brave.”

All told, it’s easy to see why Cyrus might be drawn toward Bunga. He shares some of his lighter traits, while he also likely admires Bunga’s courage.

So we know that Cyrus watches The Lion Guard and likes the character Bunga.

But what does that have to do with anything?

Well, if you dig a little deeper, here’s where the connection gets interesting. According to IMDb, Bunga is voiced by Joshua Rush.

Now you’re probably asking yourself the same thing I was: who is Joshua Rush?

Joshua Rush is an actor.

According to IMDb, he’s 5′7 and a half, bilingual, and also, Alec Baldwin once played a character named Joshua Rush in the 1980s.

I don’t know what that means.

What I do know is this: on Joshua Rush’s IMDb page are a collection of pictures of him, and that’s where I found the most staggering turn in the investigation yet:

I let out an audible gasp upon seeing this.

Now, mind you, I’d been so deep into researching this post at this point that hadn’t slept in well over four days and I was on so much cough medication I forgot shapes, but this was still absolutely shocking to me.

Look at these two side-by-side:

The image on the left is a promotional still from Actor Joshua Rush’s IMDb page, the image on the right is of Cyrus from a season one episode.

Now there are obviously some slight differences, like their facial expressions or where on their shoulder they rest the strap of their satchel, but besides that, Actor Joshua Rush’s likeness to Cyrus is stunning.

In fact, you might almost say he’s a mirror-image, a double, a... doppelgänger?

So that leaves us with the final question to be answered: has Cyrus Goodman met Actor Joshua Rush?

Picture, if you would, a voice actor meet and greet. Do you have the image in your mind?

Are you thinking of a convention center?

Are you seeing fans lined up to meet voice-over artists? They stand around for an hour or two awaiting the opportunity to shake a hand or take a selfie or get a headshot signed by one of their heroes.

Now imagine Cyrus Goodman being one of those fans. Waiting for a chance to meet the voice actor for his favorite character on one of his favorite shows: The Lion Guard.

He gets to the front of the line and sees the actor. Maybe they shake hands. Maybe Cyrus says something nice about his acting ability. Cyrus notes their similarities in his mind. Wow! We look so oddly alike! he thinks. There’s a German word for this exact situation. I’ll have to look it up later. But not in Robert Cawdrey’s A Table Alphabeticall, because I guess it’s not in there or whatever.

Perhaps, he also thinks, this could be an interesting little anecdote I might one day share with a friend while he teaches me to skateboard.

He departs shortly thereafter and leaves the convention center. The two never cross paths again, but Cyrus always remembers.

It’s plausible.

It’s definitely plausible.

But it’s not certain.

And unfortunately, plausible but not certain is where this story ends. Speculation is as good as we can do. I doubt we’ll ever get confirmation about this.

As best I can tell in my research, Actor Joshua Rush is one of those reclusive celebrity types like J.D. Salinger or Daniel Day-Lewis or Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Very quiet, reserved. Probably lives on farm somewhere. No social media accounts or anything like that. Definitely not the type to troll an entire fandom on tumblr with incomprehensible emoji clues. Make you spend several hours trying to figure out what 🌭 means like I’m some stupid modern day hieroglyphologist. Sausage? Relish? What does a burger have that a taco doesn’t?! It’s two in the morning and I’m fifteen paragraphs deep into the Wikipedia article for sandwiches, poring over the words like I’m on the precipice of discovery, like learning that “Oreos and Custard Creams are described as sandwich biscuits (UK/Commonwealth) or sandwich cookies (US) because they consist of a soft filling between the baked layers” is going to be the key to something, that it’s going to be meaningful to me in some way. Well guess what? Not even close! It’s fine. I’m not still mad about this. It’s fine.

I’m fine.

Dan Castellaneta, the voice actor for Homer Simpson, once told Buzzfeed he improvised the “Yes, once” response intending it to mean that Homer had previously seen someone say goodbye to a shoe. But, he admitted, the other interpretation was funnier.

And so that was that.

Years of debate settled with a whimper. The official version? The better version? There was zero forethought put into it. The joke was whatever you wanted it to be.

One thing is for certain, hearing from the actor didn’t help anything. In fact, it probably just made things worse. So I’ll tell you this much, the last thing any of us needs is for Actor Joshua Rush to ruin the mystery by weighing in on this. I never want to hear from him on it.

Never.

Never.

Because maybe it’s for the best we never get a concrete answer. The joke is whatever you want it to be. We are the makers of our own reality.

Me personally? I spent half a year working on this and I’ve learned to live in the mystery. To me, Cyrus’s doppelgänger exists and it doesn’t. It’s answered and it’s still a mystery. It’s Iris, it’s Actor Joshua Rush, it’s you and it’s me.

It is everything. And it is nothing.

And I accept that.

Or perhaps... perhaps I just tell myself I’m okay with that answer so I can try to sleep again at night.

[madpanda75]

Hi so after reading through all your stuff I thought of a request if that’s okay with you. Do you think you could do a Barba x reader story where the reader has a big dog (like a retriever or something) that she’s really close to - sleeps in the bed with her, goes to dog parks, that sort of thing - and Barba has to win him over too? I feel like mister designer suits dealing with a carefree big dog would be a sight to see lol. Thanks! :)

I’m so sorry it took me FOREVER to fill this request. I loved this idea and had an absolute blast writing it! I hope you like it! ☺️

A HUGE shout out to @sass-and-suspenders! I honestly can’t take credit for this entire story, she gave me so many AMAZING ideas for this fic. She proofread it and encouraged me to write when I wanted to procrastinate and binge watch Netflix ❤️

Warning: Smut (NSFW below the cut), lots of fluff, and chaotic canines

“Man’s Best Friend”

You gripped tightly onto a rail on the headboard as it smacked into the wall repeatedly. Arching your back, your eyes fluttered, a loud moan leaving your lips, escaping from the depths of your stomach where a coil was being wound tighter and tighter about to spring loose. Rafael thrust into you with abandon, grunting with every snap of his hips. Beads of sweat from his continued efforts dropping onto your chest.

“Oh Rafael! Yes! Don’t stop,” you whimpered, clawing at his back with your free hand.

Rafael let out a hard shaky breath, feeling your walls begin their tell-tale dance around his cock. He bit his bottom lip, holding off his own release as he pushed you towards yours when he felt a pair of eyes on him. Turning his head, he saw your yellow Labrador, Mac, staring at you both in flagrante delicto. Rafael screamed in surprise, rolling off of you and falling onto the floor. Mac followed suit, jumping off the bed and onto the naked ADA, barking and growling as the poor man tried to cover himself lest the dog mistake his cock for a sausage snack.

“Rafael?!” You gasped. “Are you ok?! What happened?!” You pulled Mac away and kneeled down next to your boyfriend.

Rafael winced in pain, his backside having hit the floor hard. “I’m ok. I just wasn’t expecting to see the dog on the bed…watching us.” He eyed the dog from over your shoulder. Mac cocked his head to the side, a look of pure innocence on his face.

“I don’t know how he got in. I thought I made sure the door was shut before jumping your bones,” you replied, helping him up before taking the Labrador out of the bedroom. “I’m sorry about Mac. He’s not used to sharing the bed with another man.” You cringed at your words. “That sounded a lot better in my head.”

Your boyfriend laughed. “I know what you meant, cariño.”

You giggled and pounced on top of him, playfully nipping at his jawline as you tangled your fingers in his hair. “Well, we’re all alone now. Want to pick up where we left off?”

“What do you think?” He purred, flipping you both over, his tongue parting your lips as his cock stirred back to life, hardening against your thigh. You moaned and wrapped your legs around his waist, melting under his touch. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss when he saw Mac back on the bed. Rafael’s lips stopped moving against your own. You opened your eyes and followed his gaze, seeing your faithful canine companion staring him down.

“Mac! Stop being a cock blocker. Get out,” you whined. Mac yawned and rested his head on his front paws, giving you sad puppy dog eyes.

Rafael sighed, dropping his head in defeat. It was obvious Mac didn’t consider his owner’s sex life a priority and the ADA did not necessarily want an audience while he fucked you senseless. “Maybe we should call it a night? I have to get up early for court tomorrow anyways.”

“Ok,” you mumbled. Rafael rolled off you, the two of you laid on the bed in silence, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry about ruining your night,” you said after a moment.

Rafael turned his head to face you. “You didn’t ruin my night.”

You softly smiled. “Really?”

“Not at all,” he cooed and pulled you towards him, running his fingers through your hair. “I’m perfectly happy just laying here with you in my arms,” he whispered. Leaning forward, Rafael was about to kiss you when Mac jumped in between you two. His lips were met by fur and a wet snout. “Ugh! Coño! Carajo!” He exclaimed, making a mad dash to the bathroom to gargle mouthwash. Mac was just as upset to have ADA germs, coughing and pawing at his snout.

You snorted a laugh. “Babe, don’t you think you’re being a tad overdramatic?”

He spit out the bright blue minty antiseptic to answer, “Y/N, do you know that there are over 600 different types of bacteria in a dog’s mouth?!” He shuddered at the thought, gargling more mouthwash.

“Well humans have between 400 and 500 different strains. But I still kiss you,” you retorted. Rafael poked his head out of the bathroom, playfully narrowing his eyes at you.

As soon as he got back into bed, you kissed his lips before dropping a kiss on the top of Mac’s head. “Good night, guys.” While you quickly fell asleep, Rafael laid awake, warily eyeing the dog lying next to you. Mac looked over at him, letting out a huff and rolling over to snuggle closer to you. Rafael sighed and flopped his head back on the pillow, never in his wildest dreams would he have expected to be third wheel to a dog.

***

Morning light peaked through the bedroom curtains, the sun shining brightly in Rafael’s face, effectively blinding him. He groaned in protest at having been woken, rolling over to reach out for you, but was instead greeted by a slip of paper. Furrowing his eyebrows, he reached for his glasses on the nightstand, slipping them on to read the note you had left for him.

Good Morning Handsome! Woke up early to take Mac for a walk. There are bagels and coffee in the kitchen. Make sure to carb up before your trial today. Be back soon!

Rafael smiled, gently fingering the kiss mark you left in bright red lipstick on the paper as your signature. You had met Rafael through your close friend, Sonny Carisi. The detective was determined to play cupid. Relentless in his mission, he insisted on setting you up with the handsome ADA, knowing that you and Rafael would be the perfect match. Finally, you both broke down and agreed to meet on a blind date and the rest was history. Rafael was hooked from the moment you entered the room and smiled at him. Likewise, as soon as you looked up into his mesmerizing green eyes, you were a goner. Although it had only been a month, your relationship was quickly becoming serious, neither of you having ever felt this way about anyone before.

After a hot shower and getting dressed in his favorite charcoal gray suit and purple tie, Rafael stood in your kitchen, reading a few emails on his phone between bites of his bagel. Just as he was checking his watch, wondering what was taking you so long, he heard the door opened. He turned around, expecting to see you, but was instead greeted by a muddy wet Labrador. What happened next was all a blur. Before Rafael could even react, Mac jumped on him, covering his $3000 suit in muddy paw prints and slobber. Upon hearing the commotion, you ran into the kitchen, but it was too late, the damage had already been done.

***

Rafael walked into the courthouse, ignoring the stares he received from people. He could only imagine how he must have looked, covered in mud, two big paw prints right on his chest. All the spare clothes he had in his office were at the cleaners and there was no time to go back to his place to change. He walked into the bathroom, wetting some paper towels to try and clean himself up as best he could when Sonny came in.

“Woah! What happened to you?” The detective smirked, eyeing the evidence left on Rafael’s body. “Looks like you had a run in with Macaroni.”

“Who?” Rafael asked, furiously scrubbing his suit.

“Macaroni…ya’ know Mac, Y/N’s dog,” Sonny replied. “Did she ever tell ya’ I picked the name Macaroni? I have a way with names. I tell ya’ it’s a gift.”

“Congratulations. That’s quite an accomplishment, detective,” the ADA scowled.

Sonny held up his hands in defense. “Sorry. I’ll let ya’ get back to your suit.”

“This is never going to work. I have opening statements in 10 minutes,” Rafael grumbled. The efforts he made to clean his suit jacket actually spread the mud around more, making an even bigger mess. He looked up and saw Sonny checking his hair in the mirror. The ADA cocked his head to the side, gauging the size of the detective’s suit jacket and shirt, the cogs in his brain working overtime to come up with a solution to his dilemma. “Carisi!” He called out as Sonny was about to walk away. “I need a favor.”

Several minutes later, Rafael and Sonny walked into the courtroom, each man wearing the other’s suit jacket, shirt, and tie. The two made quite a pair. Sonny covered in crusted mud, wearing a jacket too big for his frame with sleeves too short for his arms, the cuffs stopping right before his wrists.

On the other hand, the fabric of Rafael’s suit was far too tight, stretching and straining over his frame; the shirt barely buttoned, resting taut over his belly, while the sleeves were far too long. He felt like a soda bottle that had been shaken up, ready to explode at any sudden movement.

Sonny joined the rest of the squad in the gallery. “Don’t even ask,” he muttered to Amanda, whose jaw had all but dropped to the floor when she took in the state of her partner. Meanwhile, Fin’s shoulders shook, trying to keep himself from laughing out loud as he looked over at the ADA. “What’s up with Barba? He looks like the Hulk about to rip out of his shirt.”

“All rise,” the bailiff announced. Judge Barth entered the courtroom, doing a double take when her eyes landed on Rafael, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Mr. Barba, not in one of your usual suits, I see,” she said.

Rafael turned beet red, adjusting his tie a bit, “It’s a long story, your Honor.”

“I’m sure it is.” Judge Barth coughed, trying to mask her chuckle before becoming serious. “You may be seated.”

As soon as Rafael sat down, he heard a popping noise, a button burst off his shirt, rolling to the ground and landing next to Rita’s feet at the defense’s table.

Rita glanced between the button and him, arching a brow. “Looks like someone is taking a page from Buchanan’s book.”

The ADA pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a migraine setting in. “This is going to be a long day,” he thought to himself.

***

“Are you sure you don’t mind watching him?” You asked for the umpteenth time as you placed your pajamas in your suitcase before zipping it up. You were unexpectedly asked by your boss to attend a week long conference in Miami and although you had offered to take Mac to a boarding kennel, Rafael insisted on taking care of the rambunctious furball.

“Of course not, hermosa. Besides, this will give us a chance to bond.” Rafael laid on the bed, reaching over to pet Mac. The dog moved out of his grasp, running up to you instead.

You nodded your head while scratching Mac’s belly. “Ok, but if you need me or if he’s driving you crazy, remember I’m just a phone call away.” A knock at the door pulled your attention away from your sweet ball of fluff. “That must be Sonny.” Mac instantly perked up when he heard you say the detective’s name. “You wanna see Uncle Sonny, Mac!?” The dog barked and wagged his tail following you out of the bedroom. Rafael rolled his eyes when he heard Sonny, slowly getting up off the bed, bringing your suitcase with him.

“Hey Barba! Hey Y/N!” Sonny waved before crouching down to pet your dog. “Hey Macaroni! The Macster! Mac n’ Cheese! Who’s a good boy?! Who’s a good boy!? You are! You’re a good boy!” Sonny exclaimed in a baby voice. Mac barked, jumping up and down in excitement, reveling in all the attention he was getting. As Rafael watched Sonny’s interaction with your dog, he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Despite the fact that you spent everyday together, Mac still hadn’t warmed up to him.

Sonny stood up and took your suitcase. “We better get going. I’m double parked and traffic to JFK is murder this time of day. I’ll meet ya’ downstairs.”

“I’ll be right down,” you said before turning and leaping into Rafael’s arms, hugging him tightly.

He chuckled, holding you close. “Y/N, it’s only a week. You’re not being shipped off to war.”

You sniffled, fighting back the sting of tears. “I know. I’ll just miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” He nuzzled his nose against yours, kissing you deeply which was difficult to do with Mac pushing in between you both.

You kneeled down and hugged your dog, resting your head on top of his. “Bye, my sweet Macaroni. Be good for Rafi, ok?”

“Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine.” Rafael blew you one last kiss before shutting the door. Mac cried and walked up to the door, pawing at it. Rafael turned towards him and smiled. “Hey buddy, it’s ok. She’ll be back soon. In the meantime, looks like it’s just us for a few days.” The dog let out a huff and walked to the living room, gazing forlornly out the window.

***

The week was long and grueling for the ADA. In the battle between man and beast, it was obvious who the triumphant victor was. Mac made it abundantly clear that there was room for only one man in your life. Whether it was chewing on his $1400 Italian leather shoes or tearing through the trash, there always seemed to be a disaster waiting for Rafael when he came home. Everyday he would cringe, slowly opening the door, wondering what he would find on the other side.

One night Rafael was on the phone with Jack McCoy updating him on SVU’s latest case when Mac decided that it was the perfect time to play with a squeaky rubber pork chop. Each time Rafael tried to speak, he was interrupted by a loud squeak. After the seventh squeaky interruption, he took the toy away from the dog only to be cut off yet again by another loud squeak. Glancing down, he realized the dog didn’t just have one toy, but a collection of toys: various squeaky rubber bones, chickens, and balls each one louder than the next. Mac stared at Rafael as if he was daring him to take another toy away.

By the time Friday rolled around, Rafael was counting down the hours until you came home. He took Mac for a walk in the park that the two of you would often frequent, hoping the fresh air would do some good. They had just started their stroll when Rafael heard his phone buzz in his pocket. He stopped for a second under a tree, pulling his phone out to answer. Mac tugged on the leash, tired of waiting for the ADA. “Hold on a sec,” Rafael mumbled, answering an important text from Liv.

Mac whined, spying a squirrel off in the distance, and started running full force towards it. Rafael stumbled forward, the leash sliding out of his hand. “Mac! Mac!” He yelled, chasing after the yellow Lab. “MACARONI! MACARONI! HEEL!” Mac was faster than a speeding bullet. The dog must have been a greyhound from Planet Krypton in a past life. A turn around the corner and he was gone.

Rafael ran as fast as his legs could carry him, shouting for Mac to come back. Parkgoers couldn’t help but stare, it wasn’t an everyday occurence when a top Manhattan ADA was seen running around the park like a madman shouting “Macaroni!” at the top of his lungs. Out of context, it was a funny scenario.

An hour later, Rafael collapsed on a bench, panting and wheezing, his lungs felt like they were on fire and his clothes were saturated in sweat. It was hopeless. Macaroni was gone and he lost him. You would never forgive him for losing your dog. “Dear God. What have I done?” He mumbled, resting his head in his hands, thinking of how he was going to break the news to you. “The one good thing in my life and I ruined it.” Just as he was contemplating calling Liv and asking if she could put a BOLO out on a yellow Labrador, he felt a paw on his knee. Glancing up, he saw Rita Calhoun standing in front of him with two dogs, one of which was Mac.

“Mac! There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Rafael kneeled on the ground, hugging the dog. A wave of relief washed over him. He was so thrilled to see Mac that he had yet to acknowledge Rita’s presence.

“I spotted him by the fountain and then I remembered seeing you run around the park like a raving lunatic and figured he was yours,” she said.

“Thanks Rita,” he replied. “I never thought I’d say this, but you’re a lifesaver.” Mac barked, his tail wagging a mile a minute, hopping up and down and licking Rafael’s cheeks. “Hey! Not the face,” he chuckled, petting the dog.

“Ugh, get a room.” Rita rolled her eyes before looking down at the other dog standing next to her, a tiny Chihuahua. “Come on, Woof Bader Ginsburg. Let’s finish our walk,” she cooed in a high-pitched voice.

“I didn’t think Rita liked living things,” Rafael said to himself, watching the defense attorney walk away with the Chihuahua, which looked more like a wind-up toy than an actual dog. He stood up and grabbed Mac’s leash. “Come on. Let’s go home.” Mac barked in agreement, happily following Rafael back to your apartment.

Later on that evening, Rafael relaxed on the couch, freshly showered and munching on popcorn. While he was flipping through the channels, Mac came and sat next to him on the couch. He turned and looked at the dog, arching a brow. “So have I passed the hazing? Do you think we could call a truce now?” Mac wagged his tail and laid his head on Rafael’s lap.The ADA softly smiled, scratching behind the Labrador’s ears, the dog leaning into his touch. “See, I’m not so bad. What do you say we watch some TV before bed?” Mac barked and licked his hand. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

***

You opened the door to your apartment, setting your suitcase down and entering the living room when you came across the sickeningly sweet sight of your boyfriend and your dog snuggled against each other, fast asleep on the couch. You tiptoed over, moving to sit next to your two guys.

Mac woke up first, jumping onto your lap, his tail swishing in Rafael’s face, waking him up as well. “Hey, you’re home early,” Rafael said with a sleepy smile, stretching a bit.

“I took the red-eye flight. I wanted to surprise you.” You leaned forward to give him a sweet kiss. “How did this week go? Looks like you two are getting along.”

Rafael smirked, patting Mac on the head. “This week was…..interesting. But I think Mac and I are finally seeing eye to eye.”

You sighed in relief. “It took you guys long enough.” You cuddled closer to him, burying your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling the smell of his body wash before looking at the television, the movie Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey playing on the screen. “Enjoying the movie?” You teased.

He blushed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “Mac wanted to watch it.”

Mac perked his head up at Rafael as if to say,“Who me?”

“That’s a pretty lame excuse, Counselor.” You giggled, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his.

“I can’t get anything past you, can I?” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes boring into yours like you were a figment of his imagination about to disappear into thin air. “I missed you so much,” he softly said.

“I missed you too.” You kissed the tip of his nose before dropping a kiss on his lips. Resting your head on his shoulder, you snuggled closer to Rafael, with Mac nestled in between you, the three of you falling asleep quickly. As your eyes slipped closed, a smile tugged at your lips, it felt good to be home.  

@sass-and-suspenders @southern-magnolia @eclecticminded @obfuscateyummy @sweetcannolicarisi @thatesparzacrush @katmstanton @amirightcounsellor @glimmerglittergirl @beltzboys2015-blog @letty-o @sonnysdoll @lyssa1385 @sweetsummertime99 @burningsorr0ws @gibbs274 @izzythefanfreak @riodallas @babypink224221 @livxrafa @delia26

[yfere]

Bowlgate and Beyond! The Empire Kids Learn How To People.

So who wants an opinion on Bowlgate and Yussa’s Tower, forever after the fact??????? Ahahahha!!!! For once, though, I actually did a bit of research into what other people have been saying about these things, so I at least have some idea of the general discussion, though it’s admittedly not the most comprehensive idea. #INeverSayAnythingNew #PleaseForgiveMe #I’mJustHavingAGoodTime. Anyway, this is a two-part series of mine.

Thesis: Caleb and Beau were understandably terrible at communicating, and communicating with each other specifically at Bowlgate. Yet they are progressively getting much better (I would say pretty damn good!) at handling people in general and each other, even as they continue to have arguments.

Part 1: Wherein Caleb Learns Most People Aren’t Mind Readers

Caleb was just not cut out for cooperative group work—at least, not at the start of the story. At the Labenda Swamp, Nott gives him a magic bowl, and he discovers this is a super dangerous artifact that can be used to commune with Tiamat, an Evil Calamity God. The one person who is personally interested in this item is someone he met only hours before, with some sob story about being part of a Tiamat Cult (alarms ringing!) and wanting to find artifacts like this to “destroy them.” Caleb is suspicious, he’s cautious—justifiably so, in his opinion. He feels it’s anyone’s responsibility as someone who doesn’t want to be Evil to make absolutely, unquestionably sure that by helping this person they are not aiding and abetting the promotion of Tiamat’s influence in the world. He concludes that the only way to be sure this person is telling the truth about their intentions is to use Jester’s Zone of Truth to confirm. (If only he still had Suggestion, his favorite spell for these situations!) If they can get Caliana to camp with them, perhaps he can discuss it all with the group privately…..except, Caliana is dead-set on leaving right that second, and won’t stay to camp. So Caleb is left with two choices:

1) Say nothing, and keep the bowl. Nott would never tell the others if he asked her not to, if he really thought keeping it was best. Problem is, then they would have to figure out how to destroy the item themselves, and they’d be endangering the group since the cult is out looking for it. That’s not fair, Caleb’s already been reprimanded for withholding items before, and besides, Caliana could really be telling the truth, could really be the person best suited for destroying these items. Option #1 just won’t work, which in his mind leaves him with

2) Deal with the trust problem right then and there.

Knowing that Caliana is gifted with magic and that he himself is delicate, Caleb thinks, I believe, well, she could turn on us and attack me and leave with the bowl once she sees it and if she doesn’t want to submit to questioning. He decides the only reasonable thing to do is to put a barrier between her and the bowl without her knowing that’s exactly what he’s doing. It’s the same kind of reasoning that eventually leads to Caleb’s Wall of Fire in Darktow. ((funny that hoarding other people’s stuff is his defining trait. saving the world one stolen item at a time, lmao))

So, with the group safely(ish) walling Caliana from the bowl, he reveals it! And the group loudly tells Caliana about it! And he says, basically, I don’t trust you with a powerful item, and you should let us hold you hostage for an evening and let Jester cast magic on you so that your trustworthiness can be confirmed.

To which the party goes, what the fuck, Caleb?!

What the fuck are you saying, without consulting anyone on the matter?! That’s not teamwork???!!?!? Who do you think you are????!?!?!!!

Proper procedure for Caleb would have been to say, one, I don’t want to keep this bowl. This is what the bowl is, this is what worries me about it, this is what worries me about Caliana, and this is what I think we should do—what do you think? Explain reasoning, ask for feedback, collaborate. But Caleb skips through all these steps and goes straight to executing his preferred mode of action, without properly checking in with anyone. He only even begins to explain what the fuck the bowl is (other than “powerful”—vague much?) after Beau takes it away from him and everyone’s hackles are already raised over his behavior. 

So of course it feels manipulative, of course it’s pressuring the group—those are the literal effects of his actions, but I think it’s important to distinguish between Caleb actually trying and intending to manipulate people (Fjord in the Diver’s Grave), and Caleb putting unfair pressure on people as an unintended consequence to an unfortunate assumption of his: that because a course of action seems right to him, that it is self evident—everyone must be thinking the same thing as him, it’s super obvious this is Right, why would anyone ever disagree? “Why would you not want to wait twelve hours to see if this woman’s intentions are true or not?!” he asks, in complete bewilderment. Caleb is genuinely incredulous and surprised when the group starts arguing with him, when Jester suggests that maybe they should let Caliana talk to Tiamat if she wants, when Beau and Molly suggest that it’s really none of their business to interfere with Caliana whether her intentions are true or not—if she does bad shit, why should they take the responsibility to stop her? Will it really affect them? Caleb doesn’t consider at the time that his actions might be controlling and pushed back against because he assumes that the group will all absolutely be in his corner in this thing and that he is acting on their collective interests and desires. What he neglects to do is find out whether he actually knows what their interests and desires are, if they actually agree with him. (((There’s also, of course, Caleb doing Typical Gifted Kid Bullshit #150, thinking “oh, but I’ve thought of everything, this has to be the right and only solution to the problem!” No, you haven’t thought of everything Caleb, STFU. Molly and Yasha both bring up solutions to Caleb’s dilemma that Caleb didn’t think of himself—I can cast Friends, Molly said. I can use my sword and try to break it, Yasha said. These are both things Caleb might have come to know if he cared to, say, consult the group before going off at Caliana with his Plan.)))

But why is Caleb so confused at the negative reaction, so thrown for a loop by disagreement? This fascinates me. At this point, you see, Caleb is……not used to being around people with different opinions than him. I mean, conjecturing from his backstory of Mega Propaganda Brainwashing and Conformity, not to mention the Only Child business—it’s quite likely he’s never (or not in a long time) in fact had to deal with a serious difference in opinion before—certainly not one among peers, where authority and power structures aren’t at play. He also definitely hasn’t spent much time around people from different walks of life, who would have different values and life experiences and worldviews from him. He’s always been fairly isolated, 24/7 around people who were trained to think and make decisions in exactly the same way he did, with everyone else being Wrong and an Enemy. Where there was a premium on Obedience—child to parent, student to teacher, patient to doctor. More recently he’s been around Nott, who at this point in the story is also just agreeing with everything he says and not really challenging that assumption. Arguing over gloves and scrolls and bowls—that’s probably new stuff to him. He’s finding out in an ugly way that he can’t project what others are thinking, people don’t think exactly the same way he does, and he doesn’t know how to collaborate in decision making the way he obviously needs to to survive in the group. He doesn’t know how to handle disagreement in any other way than caving in and Following Orders and Keeping the Peace, and he definitely doesn’t know how to handle a disagreement when caving in is no longer a useful strategy, when the cost of caving is, to him, unacceptable.

“You’re a shitty communicator” is actually some of the most useful feedback he could have possibly gotten out of the situation. What is most important for Caleb to learn to do at this point is learn to explain his thinking in detail before he acts in ways that will affect the others, to stop assuming everyone will think in exactly the same way he does, to present his opinion as an opinion rather than The Undisputable Obvious Truth. He needs to learn how to advocate for a course of action and genuinely brainstorm on issues (he has good ideas, but he doesn’t know everything!) instead of either Winning the Argument or Obeying Others. What’s great to see is that Caleb is getting better at all of these things. Compare what he’s doing with the bowl with his planning strategies post-Felderwin. At this point, Caleb has become fairly comfortable in his preferred role as an advisor and source of information. He doesn’t plainly defer to the group without contributing, and he’s careful now about prefacing his opinions with his concerns and reasoning, with saying “I think this because X,” and then asking for others’ opinions. To paraphrase the moorbounder suggestion, he says, “My concern is, and this is not a dealbreaker, but what if we learn Yeza is on the chopping block, and we don’t have enough time to get to him?” which does three things: 1) presents his opinion as an opinion, 2) explains the reason why he thinks it’s a good idea to get the moorbounders and he’s concerned about the “working for the Krynn” idea without assuming everyone already thought of this and his conclusions are obvious, and 3) asks a question that solicits the opinions of the rest of the group. Nice growth, Caleb! When you do this people can actually work together and address your concerns! Caduceus floats letting the city government know what they want ahead of time, they discuss whether the government would have access to teleportation or sending spells, they talk about how much danger Yeza is probably in and how they can determine whether the government can be relied on to follow through on a favor, how they could safely frame their favor. They agree at the very least to prepare to book it on the moorbounders as Plan B—if the job is too long or Yeza gets in trouble or the favor can’t be relied on, they leave. That’s collaboration at work!

Even when the disagreements are personal, Caleb does a much better job at explaining himself and debriefing, though he isn’t perfect. Post-Yussa’s tower, he does a fairly good job explaining why he refused to do what Beau asked of him in the moment. He also does a fairly good job explaining why he wasn’t exactly giddy to go there, though he doesn’t directly address Beau’s line of questioning (she wants to know what about Yussa makes Caleb think he’s tied to Trent specifically—since she thinks that would justify his fear). Instead, he tries to justify his Absolute Caution With Powerful Mages Philosophy by painting a frightening, gory picture that offends Beau and pokes at her own insecurities—does he not believe in her friendship? And Caleb tries to acknowledge that he as Beau are talking at cross purposes and explain himself more but eventually becomes so frustrated and overwhelmed with the misunderstanding that he begins snapping and storms off to scream at a tree. More useful things to do would have been to ask for a break, or to ask Beau to explain what exactly she was feeling so he could address what was bothering her about what he said instead of trying to brute force get his point across through arguing and fright. The point is though, that he’s trying, when he wasn’t before. He’s getting better, their relationship is getting better, and honestly it’s pretty wonderful to watch.

Next is Part 2: Wherein Beau Learns Assumptions are for Chumps

[serenlyss]

.41 ritshou

Thanks for the prompt! This ended up being a little more than a drabble haha but I had fun with it! This also turned into a Ritsu’s birthday fic so happy late birthday Ritsu!

—

Ritsu draws his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them, leaning forward to rest his chin atop them. It’s not a very comfortable position, especially considering the fact that he’s currently perched on the roof of his house, on a hard incline with nothing much keeping him from sliding down to the edge except for friction, but he does it anyway, because it makes him feel like his heart isn’t beating as fast or hard as it actually is and like he isn’t on the verge of a mental breakdown.

The night had started out fine. Ritsu hasn’t had a birthday party in a few years now, but all of a sudden he has people around him that he actually wants to celebrate with, people that want to celebrate with him. So why does he suddenly feel like the world is ending? Under his feet, he can faintly hear music playing as the party goes on without him.

The night had started out fine, but two hours in he’d looked around and realized that nearly half of the faces all around him were almost entirely unfamiliar. Classmates and club members, the student council, members of his old soccer team… he knows them all by name, but he doesn’t actually know them. He isn’t even sure if he can call them friends. Even Kamuro had been there, which had caused him to feel overwhelmed in a whole different way. He’d looked around and hadn’t see any sign of Shou or Shigeo or Teru, the people he’d actually wanted to be there, and suddenly it was like he’d been dunked underwater, the sensation stealing his breath from his lungs and making every step feel like the air itself had been resisting him.

He’d excused himself with perfect politeness, not an inch of his inner feelings allowed to be seen on his face, and made his way upstairs. He’d hardly even hesitated to throw open his window and climb outside, clambering up onto the rooftop where he now sits, wondering why in hell he’d thought throwing a party had been a good idea. He digs his fingers into the denim of his jeans and exhales, his breath colder than the July air outside.

“So this is where you ran off to!”

Ritsu doesn’t mean to flinch, but he does anyway, his body twitching involuntarily in response to the voice that he recognizes instantly as Shou’s. His friend pulls himself up fluidly onto the rooftop beside him and leans forward until his face is in Ritsu’s periphery, all bright red hair and pale, freckled skin and glinting white teeth in the darkness. His light blue eyes reflect the dim yellow street lights below them as he meets Ritsu’s gaze, legs sprawling out in front of him as he settles himself down at Ritsu’s side.

“What’s up? The party’s downstairs, you know,” Shou asks with all his regular flippancy and charisma, the words coming across entirely casual despite their deeper implications.

Ritsu waits a half-second before he replies, “Just getting some air. Did Shige send you?” He has a feeling that his brother, ever so sharp-eyed and intuitive nowadays, had been the first to notice his absence. He wonders if anyone else had, or if they’d been deaf to his presence to begin with.

Shou shakes his head and moves his face out of Ritsu’s line of sight, leaning back against the roof with his hands behind his head. Ritsu lifts his own head and lets his gaze follow him. “Nah, I came to find you when I got out of the bathroom and saw you were gone. It’s your party, you know, you should be there for it,” he replies. Shou’s calm demeanor has an area of effect on Ritsu, whose shoulders sink a little lower as he listens.

“I guess,” Ritsu murmurs, but even if he knows the party is technically for him, it doesn’t feel like it belongs to him anymore.

Shou’s smile falters at this, a hint of concern comes to his face. He props himself up on his elbows, turning to give Ritsu his full attention. “You alright?” he asks. “You look sad, did something happen? You can tell me, you know.”

I look sad? Ritsu echoes in his mind, blinking. That can’t be right. Ritsu is very careful to keep his thoughts to himself, and his expressions are always carefully under wraps. Not even his family can tell when he’s feeling sad, most of the time, though he has a feeling Shigeo sees more than he lets on. Ritsu opens his mouth to produce a scripted response: I’m fine, just a little tired. I ate too much cake and have a stomachache. I was taking a phone call before you showed up. Instead, the words that come out of his mouth are, “There were too many people.”

Shou doesn’t respond right away, which is weird enough in its own way. When he glances in Shou’s direction again, he finds wide blue eyes staring back at him, flashes of recognition and sympathy behind clear, unhidden surprise. “Really? You invited them, though, didn’t you?”

“Some of them,” Ritsu mumbles in response. He sighs softly against his knees and finally lets his body unravel, feet sliding down the tiled surface of the roof as his head and torso lean back against the roof beside Shou. He tucks his arms close against his sides and clasps his hands over his stomach, and feels a warm summer breeze blow his bangs out of his face and to the side. “My parents invited some of them, too, but they’re… all people I know.”

“Well then, you know a lot of people,” Shou says simply, wiggling his legs against the uneven roof’s surface in search of a more comfortable position. 

He’s barefoot, Ritsu realizes, having ditched his shoes somewhere along the way. For some reason it makes Ritsu want to smile; Shou never had cared much for manners or rules, and his rebellious spirit feels so, so refreshing when Ritsu is confronted by his own “good child” demeanor. He hums quietly. “I guess so,” he responds with a shrug of his shoulders, sinking just a little deeper into the roof as he breathes steadily and lets his wound-up limbs relax.

Shou, to his credit, looks perfectly at home, sprawled out on the rooftop with no shoes on. He isn’t wearing a jacket, either, but it’s warm enough out that the breeze doesn’t make him shiver. “Well, you may not know them all that well now, but there’s still time,” Shou points out, after a minute or so of silence has passed between them. “I know you have, like, a persona or whatever, but it doesn’t have to be like that forever. You can talk to them like normal people.”

“I guess that makes you a “normal person”?” Ritsu retorts, but it’s humorous rather than hostile. A faint smile blooms on his face as he tilts his head to the side to look at Shou.

Shou laughs, a quiet, private laugh meant only for him, one that’s so different from his usual boisterous guffaws that it nearly gives Ritsu whiplash every time he hears it. “Normal is relative,” he shoots back, and it feels like a weight is lifted.

Of course Shou’s answer to his dilemma would be simple, his solutions usually are. And, to Ritsu’s surprise, his solutions are usually good, too. “I’ll keep it in mind,” he promises.

Shou shoots him a grin, then sits up with a start. “Oh, that reminds me! I was gonna wait until everyone else went home to do this, but I think now is as good a time as any,” he babbles, reaching for his discarded bag and rifling through it for a moment. He fishes out a wrapped package, one with a little white bow stuck to the top of it, and holds it out to Ritsu. “I got you something. Y’know, like a birthday present.”

Ritsu had accepted more than a dozen gifts throughout the night from many of his guests, some of which he was excited to open, and some of which he’d known immediately would have very little sentimental value, but something about this moment, sitting on the roof of his house in the middle of a summer’s night next to the best friend he’s probably ever had, sends Ritsu’s heart racing all over again. He reaches out and accepts the gift, hears the cheap convenience store wrapping paper crinkle under his fingers, and wonders how much thought Shou had put into picking something out just for him. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “Can I open it?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

Ritsu picks at the wrapping paper carefully at first, as though it was necessary to preserve rather than destroy it, and only remembers that wrapping paper is meant to be ripped to pieces when Shou groans and tells him to hurry up already, you’re killing me! And so he smirks and does as he’s told, digging his fingers into the colorful paper and tearing it off in one smooth motion until he can finally tell when the gift in his hands is.

It’s a notebook, one with a hard cover wrapped in a strong, soft material. It feels almost felted under his fingers as he runs them briefly over the cover. When he pulls the cover open, he sees that it’s swiss bound, each page designed to lay perfectly flat no matter what part of the book he turns to. It’s nice, really nice, way nicer than the spiral-bound notebook Ritsu uses for his math homework.

“You’re always ripping out pages of your book to write ideas down on,” Shou says, sitting up so he can lean over Ritsu’s shoulder to look down at the notebook, “but then they end up getting lost or crumpled up at the bottom of your backpack. I thought if you had a book you could use specifically for jotting down your ideas and stuff, you’d be less likely to lose them at the bottom of your backpack or misplace them.” He taps his finger on one college-ruled page, reaching around Ritsu’s shoulder to do so. “What do you think?”

Ritsu is, quite frankly, speechless. Shou doesn’t often show himself to be a very emotionally mature person–neither is Ritsu, in that regard–but the gift undeniably has a lot of thought put into it, something Shou might have heard Ritsu complain about at one point and filed away for future use. “Thank you,” he says again, for lack of better words, “I love it.”

“I’m glad,” Shou says with a grin, pushing himself to his feet. He fiddles with the edge of his t-shirt, moving it back into place after laying down had rumpled it a little, and then he reaches out a hand to Ritsu. “C’mon, we should head back inside before your brother comes looking for us.”

Ah, right. Ritsu had nearly forgotten about the party still happening in the house underneath them. “Yeah, we should,” he agrees, and accepts Shou’s outstretched hand.

[1358456]

Lack of Updates?

So... let’s take a look at all the active stories and their last update date.

DE: July 6 (3 months) SC: Sept 7 (1 month... already?!) Legacy: May 25 (4.5 months) Heart: May 11 (5 months) Wings: Sept 7 (1 month) SoS: “5 months ago” (5.0 - 5.9 months)

It’s somehow been a month already since Wings and SC were updated, and much longer for the others. ... And updating the stuff on Ao3, which I haven’t done since... March 7. Hm.

Honesty time!! As usual for these kinds of posts, TL;DR version is down in the bottom, before the “keep reading” thingy.

For Ao3, I stopped updating SE there because an upcoming chapter requires SA to end first, and SA is nowhere near the end there. And for whatever reason, updating the other stories’ existing chapters once every 2 weeks was so annoying that I just stopped. So... I think what I’m going to do TOMORROW (note to self) is update all that remains for SA at once. And once that’s done, I can update everything in SE (so far) a week* or so later. *6 to 8 months

SoS... I’m working on it. I THINK I can have it finished soon. MAYBE this week?

SC and Wings were “just” updated, so they won’t be seeing an update for a bit. ... SC might because I want to work on it, but Wings will not be seeing an update until 2020. Triple the review count for the last chapter, and THEN we’ll see. Shouldn’t be too hard, since that’s just +4.

DE... I forgot what I was going to do for it. And it’s not my immediate priority anyways, so... it shall remain forgotten for now.

Heart... I don’t know what happened to it. I forgot everything about it. Whoops.

Legacy... it’s wedged. Like, the story progression events kind of conflict with each other. The details will be given in the bottom of this post, after the whole “keep reading” thingy. IF that decides to show this time around. I noticed that some posts that I make ignore the “keep reading” thing I put in, and show everything at once. Well, in the event of that, I’ll just have to put like a double manual line break to signify spoilers ahead.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(This was a SINGLE manual line break)

Now, one BIG reason why the updates are slow and no progress has been made in the past month or so is because my current interest in Pokemon Special (and all of Pokemon entirely) is at a flat 0. It was declining pretty fast for a while before that point, and now it’s at a flat 0. Hell, after that fallout, I haven’t checked or seen anything from Pokemon Special. BW2 probably updated twice since the last time I checked. So... two updates would be one full chapter? What happened in it? I don’t know. The greatest thing in the manga could’ve happened. Or the absolute dumbest thing could’ve happened, and I don’t have a clue, nor do I care. Has SM/USM updated? Probably at least once. I have no idea what happened in it. And I also don’t remember where it left off. Has SS arc started? ... Have those games come out yet? No idea. What little interest I have for the arcs, I have even less for the games. 0 < 0??

Hell, I don’t even know where my 3DS is right now. My friend gave it to me for free, and I used it ONLY for the Generation VI/VII Pokemon games, and I put it away somewhere because I wasn’t going to be using it any time soon, and now I don’t know where that is. Not that I actually tried to look for it, but that’s besides the point.

Anyways, the point is... me trying to write up the update chapters is me trying to write about a series I don’t really care that much about anymore, with characters I’ve moved on from. I’m trying to force myself back into things, but the progress is slow. The whole headcanon chronology and the random X & Y tidbit were a part of me trying to force the interest back. In that regard, I’m compiling the full headcanon chronology, including the headcanons for EVERYONE instead of just Red and Blue (and a bit from Platinum). That will take a while, and in order to make such a thing, I’ll have to look at my own stories pretty closely which should hopefully force some interest back.

Now, why am I holding on instead of letting go? Well... I’ll have to return to Pokemon Special in a little while anyways, albeit briefly, so... letting go now is meaningless. And I’ll be checking out the manga again only to see Sword and Shield and their personalities, abilities, stats, etc. Stats??

And hey, maybe if Sword and Shield are interesting enough, it might just rekindle my interest altogether! ... I kind of doubt it but it’s certainly possible!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, TL;DR version... updates are taking a while because of the lack of interest in the series as a whole, so have patience, s’il vous plait. Updates will come. The time will come! The period of update-hiatus will end! 苦盡甘來, 捲土重來! ... Okay, neither saying particularly fits well with the current situation, but the two put together KIND of works in painting the right picture, so hey.

Okay. Now time to see why Legacy update is wedged, how it’s wedged, and what the possible solutions are. Spoiler time. Why spoil the story stuff? Because why not. I think there are exactly two people who read my stories AND my Tumblr posts. Maybe three. So I’m not spoiling a lot of people (nor am I spoiling a lot because most of what I’m going to write has already been discussed in the story). So for you two (or three), proceed at your own discretion. You know who you are. And no, I’m talking about YOU, who stopped a bit after 1/3rd of Destiny over two months ago. YOU know who you are as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Double manual line breaks)

So, why is the Legacy update stuck?! Let’s look at the plot thus far, and in particular, the unnamed enemy’s plans. The enemy does have a name, but it will be hidden for now to avoid the major reveal later on. MUCH later on. So we’re talking like 7 years at this rate (...).

The enemy is trying to progress with a project called K3, which seems to be a part of a K-series of projects, given how “there will not be a K4″ (Legacy #001: Rendezvous), and K2 already existing (Legacy #004: Derailed). Given how K2 talks in an automated voice and gives VERY accurate data like time in 1/100th of a second, it’s safe to assume that this K2 is an AI. So then K3 is assumed to be the next version in a line of AI projects that requires money, the Rotom Dex, and Blue for whatever reason. Given what they said about Platinum’s mental capacity during her kidnapping, it’s likely that they’re trying to use particularly brilliant individuals’ brain scans (Legacy #004: Derailed) as a base for the AI memory matrices. Blue is canonically quite ingenious with technical stuff, which would make her quite suitable. ... Cortana, much? ... Remember all those Cortana quotes Blue used back in SA? (”Could you sacrifice me to complete your mission? Could you watch me die?”) Heh... Anyways. The enemy currently has money and the Rotom Dex. So all they need now is Blue. And that is where the wedging occurs.

In order for the enemy to snatch Blue and proceed with their final “ingredient” in K3, the Dex Holders need to NOT be on alert. Currently, they ARE on alert because Platinum and Y were briefly kidnapped. The Dex Holders’ discussions led to the conclusion that no more Dex Holders may be targeted from this point, so if that continues, then they will no longer be on alert, which is good. BUT the latest chapter also had Moon being attacked, and set on fire, while her Rotom Dex was stolen. If the others find out, they are going to stay on alert for a long, long time.

From here, I have 3 possible solutions, each with their own logical issues and requirement problems.

1) Moon does NOT tell the others what happened. This gets the other Dex Holders in the Kanto-Johto area to relax pretty shortly, thus allowing the rest of the plot to go ahead. The problem is... why would Moon not tell anyone, and what would happen when Moon meets up with the others? She’ll be covered in bandages, so everyone is going to ask what the hell happened. “I... um... fell down some stairs? ... That magically gave me burn wounds?”

2) Moon tells the others what happened, and moves to regroup with everyone else. At this point, Moon and Sun will move to the nearest region of Hoenn, gather the Dex Holders there, and then move to Kanto/Johto to regroup. Which means everyone will be gathered at the same time. And I don’t want everyone gathered up into a giant deathball. But from here, there are two different solutions.

2a) The enemy lures the Dex Holders into their fake HQ, and then fakes defeat, thus getting them to think that the crisis is over. ... The problem with this is that... well... this kind of thing is very hard to go unnoticed by a certain group who really should not be made aware of this yet. And the Dex Holders already know that their enemy is quite sophisticated. So if their HQ seems like... real shitty, they’re going to know something’s up.

2b) The enemy goes into hiding, so the Dex Holders slowly lower their guard after a long period of time. The enemy also happens to need some time to get their project underway until they need their final piece, but... they’re not going to need that long. And if things take too long to progress, Moon’s injuries would fully heal, but the rest of Legacy requires her burn wounds to remain. Healing, but not healed. That said, it’s not mandatory, but... it’s a decently big deal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that’s where Legacy stands. I haven’t figured out a 4th solution that avoids all conflicts and still gets everything rolling.

... Hmm... I think I’m just now getting a possible solution. Maybe. This will require some thought...

Now, this dilemma caused the wedge right now because depending on which solution I go for, the next chapter will vary. So I can’t actually write the next chapter until I decide on the solution and then work things out from there. So... yep. Just have patience ㅠ.ㅜ...

[dp-pastandpresent]

Past and Present: Chapter 11

'Sarah lives with Sam's family! But of course, she's if she's still alive she must be getting up there. Needing someone to watch after her...'

If ghosts needed sleep, Danny wouldn't be getting a wink of it. Instead he was on top of the music store, listening to the faint hum of a local band playing cover songs from below, contemplating his next move.

While it had seemed like a good idea to find and approach Sarah earlier that day, now that he knew how close he was, he wasn't so sure.

He and Sam had shared some really personal stuff that afternoon, things even Danny didn't know he remembered until those moments.

'My mom used to bake the best cookies. Man I miss those…'

Was it worth the risk of betraying Sam's trust just so he could get a little closure?

'Danny, stop. You need to think about now. Sarah was then, and even if you do confront her, how will you explain all this?'

Despite how much he tried to put all the pieces together, there was no easy way to explain the situation. Sure, it had gotten easier the past few weeks with memories returning, but could anyone really believe that he was the spirit of a boy who died fifty years ago?

Sam lay awake in her bed, her mind too cluttered to even try to sleep.

'Why did you let him unearth such hard memories today? He looked so pained when he left…'

She had learned a great deal about her ghostly boyfriend today, more than she ever expected him to even remember. And yet, she wished she hadn't.

The more Sam learned about Danny and his past, the more he became real to her. And the last thing she needed was to think he was a reality, when they both knew that he may not be someday.

'Forget about the pain Sam, what about his body temperature. No human is warm enough to transfer that much heat that fast.'

The idea that something unnormal, even for a ghost, was happening to Danny brought a new sort of fear to Sam. The fear that, while he could not age, that didn't mean she wouldn't lose him someday.

Small tears appeared in her eyes as she began to think about her life without Danny. Up until now, she had always been so miserable. Enough, in fact, to consider taking her own life. But ever since Danny had arrived, she had been happy, smiling, living. If and when Danny finally had to move on, well, she just couldn't stand the thought.

--

"Hey Mrs. Fenton, I'm ready for my first day on duty!" Sam said, trying to smile, as she approached Maddie after school.

"Oh honey, call me Maddie, please!" Maddie responded, letting the girl inside."Jack! Sam's here! She's going do some minor chores around the lab for us!"

"Great Maddie, send her down! I'm just finishing up some computer stuff!"

Sam had only seen the lab on TV, but she'd never expected it to be as expansive as she what she found when she went downstairs. The room was large and metallic, steel desks laden with various gadgets scattered throughout. But the biggest wonder was the Ghost Portal, a large opening on the wall opposite the stairs that was currently sealed by two yellow and black striped doors. The size alone was enough to make Sam shiver, let alone knowing what existed on the other side.

Maddie wasn't joking when she said they could use someone to help cleanup; several of the gadgets had green sludge on them, while others were just gathering dust from lack of use. The floor was a mess as well, with crumpled paper and shards of metal in various corners.

'What have they been doing down here?' she found herself wondering, not sure if she wanted an answer.

'I just hope Danny never gets involved with any of those sharp ones over there…'

Jack was sitting at the computer, staring rather intently at the screen, when she arrived. Hearing her footsteps he turned and looked at her.

"Hey! Sammy! Welcome to the lab! Sorry it's a bit of a mess. Experimenting you know!"

Sam tried to smile, but being called "Sammy" was not something she was used to from anyone but her Grandma.

"It's ok Mr. Fenton, that's what I'm here for. Just point me to the broom and I'll get to work!" she said, plastering on the most enthusiasm she could muster about getting covered in green goop.

"Oh, brooms aren't going to do you any good down here! What you need is Fenton Ecto-be-gone! And a hazmat suit!"

Jack seemed excited at the idea of fitting the girl into an orange jumpsuit, despite Sam's dismay. Luckily, there were a few in their closet that both met her style and made Jack happy.

"Here yah go kiddo, take this bottle and spray it at the green stuff – ectoplasm – and it should start to deteriorate. I had an easier way, the Fenton Thermos, but I seem to have misplaced that…" Jack scratched his head as he went back over to the computer.

'What have I gotten myself into…'

--

It had been a late night, and despite the constant battle, Danny still had no answer to his current dilemma.

Luckily for him, he had managed to find a distraction in the form of a glowing blue dragon that was currently setting fire to the local skating rink.

'This place still exists? It's been here for ages,' he thought, remembering a couple of dates he had been on as a child.

"BALLL!" the dragon was roaring as blue flames came from her mouth, causing panic to all those below.

'Although it won't be around much longer!'

"Hey you! Dragon breath, did anyone ever tell you that you need feet to skate?!" Danny yelled, sending a beam from his hand.

Since his last ghost attack, Danny had been practicing, and as a result he was finally able to emit ghost rays without even thinking.

The dragon flapped her wings, causing enough wind to deflect the beam, and continued on her rampage.

"BALLL!" she roared as the music from inside blared.

'Great, she can't take my beams and I left that soup-thing at Sam's…'

As he floated above the building, trying to think of a new solution, he watched as another bout of fire came from the dragon's mouth. But what he hadn't noticed before was that every time she let out the flames the medallion around her neck glowed a bright green.

'Her power source?'

He had to find out, and the only way he knew was to get closer. But getting closer meant getting charred.

"Oh wait, ghost, DUH!" he said, smacking his head and turning invisible.

Unable to see her opponent, the dragon was sent into a panic before turning back towards the rink and opening her mouth for one last blow.

But it didn't come. Instead she found herself shrinking in size, her shape morphing until she came to a stand on the ground, completely human in form.

Danny floated above her, holding the medallion in one hand and staring down at the girl in shock.

"I just wanted to go to the ball…" she cried, looking up at her ghostly foe.

"Sorry miss, but I think that this time you're going to have to miss out." Danny replied, coming down to the ground beside her.

"What ball are you talking about anyway?" he questioned, hoping to get a civil answer.

"My brother's… sob… coronation ball… he's getting… sob… married tomorrow and he didn't… sob… invite me."

'Maybe he was worried about your bad breath.'

"Coronation? What time are we in, the 1800's?"

"Well… sob… yes… but you see… sob… time doesn't matter. What matters is when those who you love hurt you the most… sob…" she responded, trying to hold back green tears.

Danny was beginning to feel truly sorry for this girl, despite having just attacked her moments ago. And what she was saying was very true. Pain was pain, no matter the time.

"Miss, maybe your brother had a reason. Did you ever do anything that would make him want to uninvite you?" Danny asked, trying to smile while still keeping his distance.

"Well… sob… his bride, she never seemed to like me. She was always JEALOUS of my powers!" Her eyes began to glow green as the hatred filled her body.

"Woah, hold on. Take a step back. Isn't this the source of your power?" Danny asked, holding up the medallion far enough away to keep her from grabbing.

"Well, yes, but I don't even want it! It's too dangerous! Eregon, my brother, he has one too, twice as powerful as mine and he hasn't even told his bride about it! All he does is use it for evil and if she knew he was the real cause of our realm's destruction she'd leave him for good. The girl's tears began to dry as she thought about all the bad things her brother had done.

"At least I don't mean to cause harm - I only use mine because it's bound to my body. Unfortunately I was born with the ability to get upset rather looked up at Danny, her eyes getting bigger as she explained her story.

"I think you need to explain. About your brother, his powers, your powers, everything. Clear the air."

"But if I try he'll just yell at me and then I'll just get angry, and then I'll turn into that monster again!" she shrieked.

"I can guarantee that will not happen," a small smile forming on his face.

"How?"

"Well for one, I have your amulet."

The girl had been so upset that she hadn't even realized that he did, in fact, have her amulet.

"But… but… but… it's bound to my body! Only one may remove it and prophecies state it had to be a special ghost. One who lives on both realms."

"Well, seeing as I'm a ghost, and I live in the human world, I must fit the bill." Danny grinned, suddenly wondering if this had anything to do with his recent 'mood swings'.

"You must! Oh great one! Thank you, thank you! What can I ever do to repay you?!" Her mood suddenly turned around, going from tearful to cheerful in a matter of seconds.

"Just promise you'll keep that dragon brother of yours away from here!" Danny smiled.

"Deal!" she said happily as she began to fade away. Just as she was about to disappear, however, she added. "Savior, what's your name?"

"Phantom, Danny Phantom."

"Oh Phantom, thank you for fulfilling my prophecy. I will forever be indebted to you."

And just like that, she was gone.

Danny, however, stood outside the rink, holding her amulet in his hands.

'Feeling warm, losing control of my abilities, flickering. One of both realms. There must be a connection.'

The amulet suddenly began to glow a faint green color, just as it had when the girl had worn it, as if answering Danny's questions. Slightly freaked out, he quickly tucked the amulet into his back pocket before flying off.

--

Two hours and three bottles of Ecto-be-gone later, Sam was finally done cleaning up the lab. Jack had finished up his computer work about half way into her job and wandered upstairs, hoping to find more fudge.

This left the computer completely vacant.

Sam had said she wouldn't touch the computer, and she really wanted to keep that promise, but the whole time she was cleaning all she could think about was the fact that it had all the information she could possibly need.

'Sam, stop. Don't touch the computer. There's gotta be a less risky way. You just got this job after all…'

She had somehow managed to get through all of her chores without touching it, but the allure was too strong now that she was done. Putting her last bottle away she peered up the stairs to make sure no one was coming then made a beeline for the desk.

To her dismay, it was password protected.

"Probably for the best…" She found herself whispering as she wandered back upstairs. "Maybe next time."

--

What the dragon girl had said was really jumbling his mind. What sort of prophecy could she have meant? And was he really the one who fulfilled it?

But more so, what she had said about time and love had really struck a chord. She was right after all; time didn't matter. It was those who you loved that did. And despite everything, he owed both the women he loved an explanation.

By now he knew the location by heart, and it was his heart that was leading him straight to Sam's.

--

Sam was sitting on her bed, having just finished combing ectoplasm out of her hair and reading another of her favorite graphic novels. She didn't even notice the sudden chill in the air when Danny snuck into her room.

Deciding to be sneaky, he quickly became invisible and floated over to her bed.

"Hey Sam!" he said as his head reappeared, sticking out of her book.

"EEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The book went flying as Sam jumped up; and Danny just floated there, laughing.

"It is NOT funny Danny! Really, grow up!"

"Sorry, can't, ghost remember?"

"Hahaha you know what I mean," she replied, crossing her arms and turning away from him.

"Sam, I was just messing with you, come on, lighten up."

She was still turned away, but he knew what would make her cave. Flying over to where she was standing, he leaned in a pecked her on the cheek.

"That's it?" she said, smiling and finally giving in.

"For now," he finished as he went back over to her bed and sat down. "We need to talk."

'This can't be the break up talk, it's only been a few weeks…' She pondered as she sat down next to him.

"Ok, what's up?"

Before Danny could actually answer, Sam's door opened to her grandmother sitting on the other side.

"Sammy, are you ok? I heard you…" She stopped and let out a slow 'awwww,' her eyes getting a bit bigger.

The door had opened so suddenly that Danny hadn't had the chance to turn invisible.

[lorannahx]

Endgame Spoilers

Sorry, had to delete the original version of this because I tried to make an edit on my phone and it messed up my formatting. So this post is full of massive spoilers for Endgame. Seriously. Don’t open it if you’ve not seen the movie yet - it’s not going to make sense to you anyway. If you have seen it and you’re confused by some of the sci-fi mechanics of the movie, this might help...

Alright I’m seeing a lot of confusion around what is happening with the time travel in Endgame, so I’m going to do my best to explain my understanding of how it works. This is based on one viewing that took place at midnight, so there are almost certainly mistakes. I hope you’ll forgive me for them.

Time travel in stories works in many different ways, here are some of the main ones:

A. Back to the Future style – changing events in the past changes the future, BUT doesn’t change you. So when you go forwards in time again you might find you no longer exist or your Mum has married an asshole, and you’re aware these things have changed. B. Almost Back to the Future style (sorry can’t think of a good example for this) – changing events in the past changes the future and does affect you. This could mean the future version of you just vanishes or you become a different person. Basically that future is wiped out but the actions relating to time travel that you took in that future still must have happened. It’s a paradox but we roll with it. The possible negative consequences of this for the time-travelling version of you are pretty limitless, but on a positive you’ll never know about them.

C. The Azkaban Approach – this is how time travel exists in the Harry Potter universe (we do not speak of Cursed Child). Basically you cannot change the past/present/future by time travel. Whatever happens has already happened. You may, however, have to make sure those things happen.

D. The Discworld Dilemma (sorry, I can’t resist alliteration) – basically history wants to happen how it’s supposed to happen, although you might try to change things it will basically begin to heal itself one way or another – unless wizards, Death, gods or mystical monks living in the mountains get involved. This is more or less how Doctor Who works too.

E. Multi-verse Mechanics – basically every possible action every person in the universe is taking is creating infinite other alternate versions of that universe ALL THE TIME. When you change something by time travel you end up in a different alternate. I guess this is really similar to A/B depending on what happens to the you skipping between the universes – it’s just a different way of thinking about it.

In the movie they specifically say that A and B won’t work – because this movie-verse won’t allow time-paradoxes. Version D also clearly doesn’t work. And we can rule out E based on the Ancient One’s comments to Bruce about parallel realities being BAD and damaging your current universe (although that in itself raises issues with a lot of other comic-verse stuff). I’m going to come back to C later. Which leaves us with what Endgame is doing:

F. Personal timelines must be linear – i.e. your personal timeline may take place in lots of different timeframes, going backwards and forwards in time, without issue UNLESS you affect a past version of yourself. In that case the A and B paradox issues kicks in and, as you may end up not being the version of you that went time travelling in the first place, you (and the universe) is probably fucked.    - This is why they can’t bring the dusted back until after they complete the actions to reverse Thanos’ actions – i.e. you couldn’t have them dusted and un-dusted instantaneously. Because if you did that none of the things that happened in the intervening five years would happen and you wouldn’t become the people with the capability to undo the dusting and then you have a massive paradox.    - Obviously it’s more complicated than just your personal actions, because any person who’s actions you change could end up altering the course of the future. Even moving an object a few feet could have massive unseen consequences.    - This means that during the time travel heist the least interaction with the past they can manage the better. For example, if Steve had gone into the lift and killed or seriously hurt any of the hydra agents – that could easily change the future, because that person could have done something in the future that contributed to the circumstances in the present etc...    - Because of this there is absolutely no way for people, primarily Steve, to go back and alter historical issues in his own timeline - i.e. he can’t stop the rise of Hyrda or save Bucky any earlier without fucking up the entire universe.

The team’s inability to not alter anything in the past and (possibly) their active decisions to change things obviously presents us with some issues, here are some of the ones I’ve seen discussed/was confused by myself and how/if they’re resolved in the story: 

- Thanos and his chums – Thanos going forward to the future before he ever used the infinity stones and then being destroyed obviously creates a massive paradox. Luckily Tony is more than smart enough to realise this, so we can assume that what he actually did was send Thanos and his army back to before they intercepted Nebula’s consciousness. This puts all of Infinity Wars/Endgame into a fixed time-loop that will always play out the same. Although I can understand the symbolic significance of making what happened look like the dusting, I sort of wish they’d given it a green glow or mentioned the time loop or something to make this clearer. [RESOLVED – though not firmly stated in the movie]**

- The stones/Mjolnir not being where they need to be. Presumably we just need to accept Steve’s mission has put all this right, although I don’t remember him having anything big enough to be carrying the sceptre (it was 3am though, so maybe there was) – so we’re going to just have to imagine how he restored all the stones to their former states. [RESOLVED]

- Present-Steve telling Past-Steve about Bucky – luckily this was an easy fix as he was holding the mind stone at the time and we see him use it to wipe Steve’s memory of the encounter. [RESOLVED]

- Loki vanishing with the tesseract – both versions of the tesseract we see in this movie need to be put back and whilst the Shield base version is *relatively* simple (let’s not ask how many Steve Roger’s are running about New York at a time), Loki’s is not - this one we don’t see resolved in this story. We could assume that Steve fixes it during his mission, using the tesseract he has to track down Loki before returning it to the Shield base. However, I think it’s more likely we will see the solution to this either in the Loki tv show or Guardian’s 3. [UNRESOLVED]

- Impact of knocking out Quill/Tony’s heart attack/the lift people thinking Steve is Hydra etc. – basically I could see ways that all the “small” changes we see in the movie could have fundamentally important impacts. Tony thinking his heart is failing? Wouldn’t that impact his behaviour afterwards? Quill waking up and realising he was randomly unconscious for an unknown length of time? None of this is really resolved in the story, but we’re just going to have to assume it didn’t really as the universe didn’t explode. [RESOLVED???]

- Steve marrying Peggy – I think this is the one I’ve seen most people frustrated by, because it seems the hugest change, and this is where I’m coming back to C. I think the Azkaban Approach is in play here, with a side order of Doctor/River weirdness. Steve ALWAYS married Peggy. I went back and watched their meeting in the hospice again last night and if you look at her pictures on the bedside table, there are pictures of her with her kids but not her husband, BECAUSE her husband is Steve and they knew they couldn’t risk having photos of him on display/anyone finding out. The Peggy we see in that hospital bed knows she can’t tell that version of Steve they were married, because he hasn’t defeated Thanos yet. And she knows she has to allow him to suffer and lose everyone and defeat Thanos because the future-Steve that came back in time to marry her, told her about it. There’s the River and Doctor weirdness for you, their timelines are not in sync, they meet each other out of order (for Peggy at any rate) but with secrecy and carefulness they can make it work. And they know they can make it work because they already did. I love it but I can understand it’s a bit of a head-fuck. And, of course, there are cruelties to it. Steve can’t tackle Hydra taking over Shield or Bucky being tortured because if he does it causes a paradox and the universe is destroyed. That must be terrible but at least that version of Steve knows how it all works out, knows he left Bucky healthy and happy and as much at peace as it is possible to be. [RESOLVED – at least for me]

OK – what did I miss? What still doesn’t make any sense? Any other thoughts? – Although please be careful to tag things properly if commenting, so people don’t get accidentally spoilt.

** Extra note – I have seen a lot of discussion about where Endgame leaves Gamora and basically we don’t know. Which is cool. It all comes down to how Tony worded/understood his use of the infinity stones. If he wished everyone who was out of time back to their correct times, she’s gone and probably trapped in the time loop (although now time travel is an active super hero skill, who knows). If it was more along the lines of him sending the people they were fighting against back to their correct times, the fact that she had already switched times might have saved her. She’ll still be past-Gamora but she’s out there in the present somewhere.

[hq-cuties-pls]

Can I request Asahi Azumane and Kuroo Tetsurou scenarios (separate) in which they get to know their s/o through the internet chat? After a loooong time they decided to meet and see how their relationship would develop irl. They didn't send a single pic to each other so this first meeting... Can be interesting. (Bonus: S/o is vv shy and a little bit scared of touch but didn't told them about it.)

I used Recovery of an MMO Junkie as a huge influence on these. I loved writing them, though! They were super fun!! Enjoy~Admin Emma

Asahi

Breaking his leg was by far the dumbest thing Asahi had ever done. He would regret getting that damn motorcycle until the day he died, especially where a mild crash with it resulted in him being totally hung up in bed for at least six weeks, possibly more. He spent a solid day and a half after getting out of the hospital pouting. He was bored, damn it, and he could only handle so much of Daichi and Suga’s company before they either had to leave or he was ready to bodily throw them out, broken bones be damned. If Suga made one more Evel Knievel reference, Asahi might have to forget he was a nice person.

After he pouted, he got to work on his homework and his studies. His time in the hospital put him a bit behind schedule, and this way he could get caught up and then some. Maybe even get ahead, or do some extra credit. It really seemed to work out perfectly; he was a slow studier, and his mild attention issues often got the better of him, so it could be a great way to kill a lot of time.

Except that he lasted about four days before his brain felt fried and he just couldn’t take it anymore.

After getting caught up on his reading, watching as many trashy dramas on Netflix that he could handle (it wasn’t many), checking out that anime Suga’s… person kept recommending (he made it to episode three), and killing a few pages in his sketchbook, he hadn’t managed to make time go any faster. He was still hung up in bed. He could get up to go to the bathroom and that was about it. He was ready to climb the walls, or maybe just crawl out of his own skin.

About two weeks into his sentence, Daichi recommended an MMO he’d been playing with his girlfriend. It had really appealing character designs and a high skill floor, so it seemed the perfect solution. He made his character as pretty and bishonen-esque as he could just for shits and giggles… the farthest thing from himself that he could. He named his character Vaughn because he’d watched most of Vision of Escaflowne while he’d waited for the game to install and he was obsessed. He took up the starting quest and started exploring.

Within an hour, he had a chat notification pop up.

Nina: Hi there! Are you trying the Devil Dungeon Event?

Asahi was skeptical at first, because he didn’t see which avatar had pinged him, but then he saw someone doing some sort of pre-animated wave emote. He waved back before responding.

Vaughn: Yeah, I was thinking about it. Still have to grind, though.

Nina: Actually, our tank sort of bailed on us. My group could run you to 20 really fast and then we could do it together.

Asahi was still skeptical–he’d heard about scams like these–but he really did want to try the event, and on his own it would definitely end before he could even attempt it. He figured he’d just bail as soon as they started asking for personal information or money or something.

Needless to say, things went a lot quicker with three higher-level characters helping him out and outfitting him. He was invited into their group chat and he learned they were especially funny, but Nina-san was very nice. She seemed to just keep the group together, seeing as the two DPS players were ridiculous humans. They played and grinded through levels and chatted until Asahi looked up and he’d been playing for eight hours. They’d done the dungeon twice and walked away with several loot boxes he couldn’t wait to open.

Nina: Goodness, I didn’t realize it was so late. Thanks for helping us out, Vaughn-san.

Vaughn: Don’t mention it. It was fun.

Nina: Would you like to game with us again sometime? You’re really good. Is this your first character?

Vaughn: In this game, yeah.

Nina: That’s surprising! But the guild is taking part in a raid tomorrow night after we all get off work and school and stuff. What time’s good for you?

Asahi scowled, though not at Nina. He’d just started to forget that he was literally stuck in bed.

Vaughn: Aahh… I’m sort of free whenever. I can’t get out of bed for another month or so.

Nina: OMG are you sick!?

Vaughn: Broken leg. Crashed my motorcycle.

There was such a long pause–so long, Asahi was afraid Nina had disconnected–but she came back eventually.

Nina: That’s so cool! Well, the motorcycle thing… not the broken leg thing.

Vaughn: I appreciate that.

Nina: Anyway, we’re hoping to get started no later than 7:00 or so, so DM me whenever you log on, kay?

With that, she was gone. Asahi should have been tired, given how late it was, but he was strangely exhilarated. Despite the fact he’d just spoken to her in snippets about the game and they’d each given perfunctory details about their lives, he felt connected to Nina in a way. Maybe it was the barrier of the screen… that he could talk to her. He’d never been able to talk to girls like this in real life.

Assuming Nina is a girl. She could be anyone. She could be Daichi for all you know!

Asahi shook his head to banish his intrusive (if sensible) thoughts. He snapped his laptop closed, not bothering to shut it down. He couldn’t get to sleep–he was too giddy–and he had trouble pinning down why.

Over the course of the next few weeks–between doctor’s’ appointments, PT and slowly-but-surely returning to classes and eventually, practices–he kept logging on every day to play at least a quest or two with his guild, but mostly to talk to Nina. She (and he was convinced she was a she) seemed to like talking to him. Sometimes, after the entire guild logged out and it was late and they didn’t have any more quests to do, they’d just go to a private area and talk about nothing. He learned all about her, and she learned all about him. She was ecstatic when she found out they lived close enough to each other.

After a long time, he finally figured out why it was so hard to say goodnight every night; he was in love. It wasn’t long after he made this realization that Nina and him had… the conversation.

Nina: So, you’ve been logging on a lot less lately. I take it your doctors are letting you back out there?

Vaughn: Yeah, I’m mostly free. Doctor Nishimi isn’t thrilled that I’m back at practice, but I don’t have much of a choice. I’m on scholarship and my leave of absence has already been extended.

Nina: You can’t overdo it! If you hurt yourself even worse, you won’t be able to play at all!

Vaughn: Don’t worry, one of my teammates had a friend with a bad knee back in high school. He’s making sure I take it easy.

Nina: Look, I know we’re both busy and all, but… Vaughn I think I might… could we meet sometime? Soon?

Asahi froze. Hadn’t he wanted this to happen? Wasn’t this end game? Or… well, would it be weird? There was a distinct possibility–the only thing he knew for sure about Nina was her love of this game (and any loot box that guaranteed something extra pink and extra adorable). But that wasn’t it… and he knew it.

He knew that if he met her, she’d have to see him. In all his 188 cm glory, with his fucking man-bun (which he still hadn’t gotten rid of, for some reason) and goatee and too-wide shoulders and his scary face… and she’d reject him. And he didn’t want Nina–his Nina–to reject him. Not when it was so good.

Despite all his fears and trepidations, though, he did want to meet her. He wanted to see Nina for real. And go on a date and buy her coffee and call her by her real name. So he agreed to meet on their next day off.

Which was the next day.

~~~

He was looking for a pink cardigan, which sounded just… too cute. He shouldn’t have been surprised, given Nina’s enthusiasm for all things cute and pink in the game. He swallowed hard, debating if he should get decaf today so as to not act completely spastic when he finally met her. He tugged on his wine-colored sweater, trying to not put too much pressure on his left leg, and waited. He didn’t want to be too overt scanning the crowd, in case Nina was there and thought he was a molester or something. Then he’d go to jail and Nina would think he stood her up, which just… wouldn’t be good.

“Um.. excuse me.”

Your small voice at his elbow nearly made him jump, but it was worth the fright, because you were wearing a pink cardigan. His eyes widened at the bright smile. You were so cute!

“N-nina?”

You grinned even wider, a precious pink blush across the tops of your cheeks; “Actually, my name is ____. You must be Vaughn, then.”

“Asahi,” he corrected. “Azumane Asahi.”

“Well, then, Azumane Asahi, should we get a table? This place has amazing crepes, and their coffee is actually really good given the price.”

He smiled, a bubble of pressure releasing from his chest. He followed you to a shaded table under the kitschy awning, ready to get to know you for real.

Kuroo

Kuroo had a dilemma. A quandary, if you would. A predicament. It was the shittiest predicament ever, and he was pretty sure that if he brought up his predicament to Yaku he’d get his balls ripped off for being “ungrateful” but it really wasn’t that simple. See, his dilemma was just this; he liked two people.

Now, to people who’ve never gone through such a trial, it wouldn’t be so bad. Liking two people and all. And some people could take advantage of the fact, especially given how young he was and how prevalent casual dating was. But people weren’t Kuroo. People weren’t the serial monogamist who looked like some sort of casual-sex God (apparently… Kuroo still found that high school reputation highly unsettling) but was in reality a giant cuddle spoon full of shmoop and love.

The other problem was he didn’t exactly know the other person he knew. He gamed with them from time to time, when he got a free hour or so, but they communicated mostly via Skype’s chat function. He’d never even seen their picture. He didn’t even know their real name. But they were an awesome person–they put up with his sense of humor, they could keep up with him, they didn’t seem to mind listening to him pour his anxieties all over them at 2:30 in the morning when school was hard and grad school applications were piling up and what the fuck even is a statement of purpose? And they just… listened. And it felt so nice to just be heard.

And then… well, and then there was you. He didn’t have quite as intimate of a relationship with you as he did with his online friend, but he still liked you. You and him had similar classes, similar taste in music and movies, even similar senses of humor. There were times when he’d tell his online friend a joke only for you to nearly parrot it at him the very next time you saw each other. Most of all, though, you were sweet and caring and beautiful… and for that matter real. Like, he knew you were real. And that was the problem.

His online friend had never seen him, so they got to know him separately of his reputation and his appearance. He could really be himself, whereas sometimes with others–even you–he always felt like he was putting up a front. It wasn’t any fault of yours, it was just an old habit that was hard to break. It was hard showing everything to someone and having them reject it… he knew from experience.

He didn’t know what to do about any of this, but he knew that if it was keeping him up at night he should probably solve it soon. The problem was that there were three people he typically went to when it came to this sort of thing, except Bokuto was at this hyper-intense training camp with the rest of the National team hopefuls, Kenma was caught between research for his undergrad thesis and applications to grad school, and, well… the other person was Nao-chan…

He huffed under his breath, opening his laptop and tapping it impatiently to get it to load faster. He pulled up Skype; Nao-chan’s icon had the little yellow bubble next to their name that showed they were away. Kuroo decided to message them anyway and hope they’d get back to him when they got back.

Kuro-kun: I have a conundrum. Can you talk?

Kuroo smirked at his own name. It was his handle in the game he played with Nao-chan. It wasn’t exactly creative, but too much of his mental energy went to school and maintaining his volleyball scholarship to come up with fancy names for his MMO characters. He went to get his bag to maybe work on some studies, thinking that Nao-chan probably wouldn’t be at their computer for a long time.

Instead, the little indicator lit up with a new message.

Nao-chan: Sure thing, Kuro-kun. The doctor is in. Tell  me about your mother.

Kuroo laughed; Nao-chan could always get him to laugh. They were a lot like you that way.

Kuro-kun: Very funny, Doctor. It’s stupid, but… well, it’s kind of serious.

Nao-chan: Are you dying?

Kuro-kun: Not any more than most people. No, it’s more of a moral quandary.

Nao-chan: Oya oya? Now this I have to hear.

Kuro-kun: I know it’s weird hearing this from me, but could you be serious for a second?

Nao-chan: Sorry, sorry. Bad habit. Seriously, Kuro-kun, you know you can tell me anything. Talk to me <3

The little heart emoji made this so much harder, but he didn’t want to tell Nao-chan that.

Kuro-kun: See, it’s like this. There’s this girl in like… half my classes. And she’s smart and pretty and she’s really nice. She likes the same music and books and stuff as me, and we have a lot in common and she likes my friends…

Nao-chan: She sounds perfect

Kuro-kun: That’s sort of the problem. I mean, it would be easy to just… pretend that she was the only one. But the problem is I like someone else.

Nao-chan: More than her?

Kuro-kun: Not more or less… just different. See, I can be honest with this person. I’ve told them things I don’t tell anyone. I’ve let them see a side of me I don’t let anyone else see. But I’ve never even seen their face. Maybe if I knew what they looked like… if we talked face to face, it would be easier. Then this other person would be confirmed real and… I sound like a raving lunatic, don’t I?

Nao-chan: Kuro-kun…

Kuro-kun: It’s you, Nao-chan. I like you. I like you a lot. I don’t.. I don’t want this to end. I want to get to know you better and see you and… all that other gross coupley stuff that couples do. Like get coffee and talk about our day without euphemisms. I want to see your smile and hear your laugh and I want to talk to a person when I talk instead of just typing it out. I totally understand if you’re not comfortable. Those are just my feelings.

There was a long pause. A heartbreakingly long pause. Nao-chan went horrifically silent. It was long enough that Kuroo sat and questioned every decision in his life that had lead this moment. He paced around his apartment twice, fed his cat, got a snack, boiled water for tea, and had a very minor panic attack in the time it took for them to respond.

Their response wasn’t something he could have ever anticipated.

Nao-chan: Do you have your webcam set up? If so, don’t respond. Just… start a video call with me.

Kuroo didn’t question it. He immediately hit the little video button, not caring that his laptop was probably in a place where he looked like shit on camera, and his apartment was a mess, and he was pretty sure he was wearing Bokuto’s Spyair sweatshirt, which sent so many wrong messages…

Then, his screen filled with a face. Your face. Your… your perfect, beautiful smiling face. You looked just as surprised as he was, but that gorgeous look of shock and awe was something he wanted to see over and over and over again.

“Hey there, Kuro-kun,” you said, somehow sounding so much better now that he knew who you were. “Nice name, by the way. Did you spend a whole ten seconds thinking about it?”

He couldn’t even defend himself from your teasing. He was too busy trying to not embarrass himself by breaking down into the most ridiculous tears any grown ass man had ever produced. He didn’t have to choose… he could have it all.

When did he get so lucky?

[basket-of-radiants]

(Opinions on jasnah and if she's like.... a good person)

Whether she’s a good person or not is up to you my friend! Jasnah follows a much more utilitarianist set of ethics than most of the other characters. I usually tend to think that’s a good trait for authority figures, so long as they’re genuine about their beliefs. Sometimes the moral implications of the action itself are less important than the impact of said action.

Typically it is the more antagonist-ish characters who follow “greater good” policies, such as Amaram and Taravangian (although I still have no idea what he’s doing,) but I would be wary of dismissing that line of thinking altogether. There’s honestly nothing wrong with focusing on the wider scope and consequences of one’s decisions, and in fact, I would consider that admirable. After all, Jasnah is a reigning monarch who does have to consider sacrifice and what that means. Wartime ethics are a bitch and tough calls are going to have to be made. I’m not defending it outright; this line of thinking becomes very dangerous when you give yourself license to do anything and commit whatever atrocities you like in the name of the greater good. There’s no objective way to determine at what point you’re doing more harm than good, though.

For me, the question of Jasnah isn’t whether I agree with her values or not, it’s about whether or not I trust her to recognize when she’s going too far.

There are a lot of reasons not to trust her. She’s not the most empathetic person ever (although I do think she’s more emotionally driven than she or anyone else would care to admit) and I wouldn’t exactly call her kind. She’s a goal-oriented person, very driven and focused, so I could see her caring less about what’s right along the way than about getting her results. (She did swear “journey before destination” though, so I should probably believe in her more there.) Her stubbornness is also an issue; I don’t think she’s the type to ignore new evidence because it doesn’t fit her worldview perse, but she is definitely resistant.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Yes, she suggested that all the parshmen be destroyed. If that upset you or made you uncomfortable, you’re not wrong to feel that way. If that pissed you off and made you dislike Jasnah as a person, you’re not wrong to feel that way. I personally don’t find hers a defensible position. I obviously feel very different about all this, but as long as I’m writing this as a focus on Jasnah’s character, I guess I should do my best to explain. I always feel like I have to note that Alethi values are very very different from mine, and Dalinar and the others had already been waging genocide war on the parshendi for years. Compared to vengeance, I would call survival of humanity a somewhat more worthy cause. And Jasnah did have reasons for her opinions. Whether or not Jasnah cared at all about the common singers, her view was that were they to engage the Fused, all of the others would end up just becoming bodies for them. If that’s the case then there’s nothing that could be done for the common singers anyway, unless they were willing to just let the Fused win and not fight back. (Side note, the Fused provide a lot of other interesting dilemmas in of themselves about tactics and morals.) The only solution other than fighting back is negotiating. While I do expect to see more of that in the future, I can understand why at the time Jasnah was skeptical about that as an option. After all of her research, after having seen Dalinar’s visions, she had a particular idea of what Voidbringers were.

I want to address the singers first and just say that I really don’t believe that Jasnah is still interested in killing them. Yes, advocating for that at that meeting was a really shitty thing, but going forward I expect different from her. She seemed just as shaken as anyone to learn that the singers had been the original natives of Roshar, and while there was probably too much going on at the time for us to watch fully how she reacted, I assume she took a lot of time afterwards to reexamine her worldviews. If you’ll remember from Way of Kings, philosophy and the study of ethics is deeply important to Jasnah. Given all the information she has now, I don’t think she would be able to justify throwing away the singers for the sake of the humans anymore.

If she can view the singers as people as well and accept them into her bigger picture, I’d think I’d be able to trust her. She’s painstakingly careful and analytical, and I would like to think she would never make a major decision without fully thinking it through. In the past, from what I can tell, she hasn’t especially prioritized any one group over others (except for her immediate family,) she’s mostly been interested in understanding and furthering society and scholarship overall, and as such is respected everywhere. If the singers can be part of that, who knows?

More broadly than that, there’s a reason I have faith in Jasnah’s utilitarianism significantly more than I’d have for someone else’s, such as Amaram’s. I’ve mentioned “the greater good” a lot in this post, but Jasnah genuinely seems less concerned with that than she seems concerned with “doing the right thing.” She doesn’t take actions and justify them with her philosophy, she deeply examines her philosophy and then lets it inform her actions. I’m not as worried that she’ll get so caught up in her own workings she’ll lose sight of the right thing.

Just some more stuff on her as a person, people talk a lot about the scene with her and Renarin, and I haven’t. I don’t think it singlehandedly redeems her, nor do I think that if she had killed Renarin it would have singlehandedly condemned her. The scene is a demonstration, however, that she does allow her humanity to inform her actions. Not just in that scene, throughout the series she has shown that she cares about other people more than she’s willing to show. She’s shown to be forgiving, to welcome legitimate arguments against her, and to have faith that people will do what’s right of their own accords.

So! Still not going to answer if she’s a good person or not, but I’m definitely willing to give her a chance. I predict that she’ll make a lot of hard calls along the way that will leave a bad taste in my mouth. I can tell you with certainty that other characters have already done the same. Whatever happens, I do believe she’s trying to do good. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

[cryingaggressively]

out of the mouth of babes (2/?)

Rated G, Gen with pre-Deckerstar

"Let's cut the chit-chat. Dad, you should just tell her how you feel about her."

Lucifer gave his daughter a sideways glance, then refocused on the road.

"I mean, I know you're complete shit with human interaction that requires opening up in any way, but don't you think it's time?"

"Quite contrary, I think I'm very much proficient at opening up other people's things." Her father, the brilliant conversationalist. Mature, useful contributions at all times.

"First of all, eww. Secondly, that wasn't even close to a good comeback. And thirdly, stop avoiding the topic  at hand."

Lucifer's grip on the steering wheel tightened, the knuckles of his fingers turning almost white.

"And what topic would that be, child?" It sounded like he was gritting his teeth together.

"That you're in love with Detective Decker and that you should tell her!"

They had reached the grocery store car park. Iris' dad pulled over into a spot and shut the engine off. His hands wandered to his knees, then, as if to steady himself, he grabbed onto the steering wheel again.

"Iris. I'm the Devil. I do not fall in love. With the detective nor with anybody else. That's a preposterous idea," he said flatly, staring straight ahead at the billboard in front of them.

She could not believe this. "Are you serious?"

"Quite serious, I assure you. Of course, I wouldn't mind if she and I did the dirty, but I suspect that is not the direction you were going with this."

His lecherous grin didn't reach his eyes and faded quickly. The fingers of his right hand were now rapidly drumming on the steering wheel.

Iris rubbed her temples, fighting off the headache she felt coming.

"I can't believe you. I love you, Dad, I really do -" at that, her father finally focused on her instead of the sign ahead that proclaimed 'Fresh strawberries, local produce, small price!' - "but that is complete bull and you know it."

The fond expression that had briefly appeared on his face when she'd told him she loved him was gone.

"Every time you call me, and I mean every time, you ask me how I am, how school is, blablabla. And when  I ask about you, the only thing on your mind is Detective Decker.

'Detective Decker is outstanding at her job, Detective Decker is such a kind person, Detective Decker laughed at one of my jokes today, Detective Decker single-handedly saved the world's unicorn population'. "

"I've never said anything like that last part," Lucifer huffed. She chose to ignore him.

"You go on and on about her.  And Dad, that's fine by me. If she is what you want to tell me about when we talk, by all means, do. But don't pretend you don't feel anything for her, " Iris continued.

Her father, for once in his life, looked almost flustered. "I do talk about her often, don't I."

"Yeah, you definitely do." Maybe she was making some headway.

His fingers stopped their incessant rhythm. In a resigned tone, he declared, "It would never work. Presuming she actually returned my..."

His voice trailed off. Ah, no headway then.

"Huge crush? Burning love? Frankly kind of creepy obsession with her person?" Iris supplied.

He snorted. "Now, don't exaggerate, darling."

Iris pulled her mobile out of her pocket, opened her text messages and scrolled down the chat with her dad until she found what she was looking for. A late-night (well, for her) message, months old. She practically shoved the phone at her father's face.

               You, 11:16 pm: went alright, I think I passed. anyway, what's so special about her, you tell me about her pretty often?

                Dad, 11:38 pm: that's good. well, I've never met anyone like the detective. she has the kindest, purest soul I've encountered in  

                                        all of my existence.        

Lucifer looked uncomfortable. "Looking back now, why did I write that? Rather soppy, if you ask me."

Iris pocketed her phone again. "Well, isn't it the truth? Point of pride, right?" Hah. Caught between a rock and a hard place.

Her father made a face as if he suffered from constipation. "Yes."

"Dad, that's something people would write in their wedding vows. The stuff of rom-coms," she said slowly, in a tone like she was explaining something to a toddler.

What she didn't mention was that killing someone to protect the person you love was a sign of pretty epic love. But he didn't need to be reminded of that particular event.

Lucifer opened and closed his hands rhythmically around the steering wheel, his eyes darting from side to side. It was fairly reminiscent of someone having a seizure. After a few moments, he started talking, voice uncertain.

"I, I couldn't just be with her for a longer time while she doesn't believe who I am. That doesn't seem... right."

She tucked her hands between her thighs.  The urge to face-palm was too strong to resist. The solution to his dilemma was so easy, wasn't it?

"Then make her believe. Show her your face. Your therapist got over it and from what you've told me about your lady-love, she's tough. She can handle it."

This whole conversation felt very surreal. To Iris, hardly anything ever seemed surreal. Her father was the goddamned devil. Literally. Her grandfather was God. She'd seen some pretty strange things in her short life.

But she had never seen her usually so suave, confident father so unsure.

Iris had her suspicions about the cause of this.

Her dad was as open with her as he could be, discussing his emotions fairly voluntarily, though peripherally.

By now, she had also gotten incredibly skilled at interpreting the things he said. Discarding his often ludicrous statements and recognizing the real sentiments they masked.

As a consequence, she knew a ton of things he didn't dare tell or show anyone else.

That Amenadiel's hatred against him, reciprocated as it was, did hurt, in a way. How deep Maze' betrayal had cut. That he wished  her grandma's supposed love was real.

The gigantic daddy and mummy issues he had and that he didn't consider himself a particularly good person.

Recently, that he hated himself for killing her uncle. That Dr. Martin's reaction to his face reaffirmed his doubts about himself, made him reconsider any vulnerability he showed.

"Yes, I'm sure she can handle it. The problem is... how she will handle it."

She was correct, then. And sad to boot.

Whatever he might believe, Iris knew her father was no bad person. Inappropriate, inconsiderate of most people's feelings, reckless, childish; sure. She had never known him to  intentionally harm someone who didn't deserve it, though.

How God had ever decided he deserved a life of eternal damnation mystified her.

As someone who had three loving parents, she could not imagine what it felt like to live your life believing that your parents didn't give a shit about you. But she knew that that screwed you up fundamentally. Exhibit A, her father, who believed, deep down, that he didn't deserve to be loved and who expected rejection everywhere he went.

And that made her so, so sad, and not only because those headcases he called parents somehow still had influence over his life and decisions.

But also because she knew from first-hand-experience how wonderful her father could be to the people he loved.

Every time he looked at her that fond, slightly exasperated way, every time he hugged her and kissed her temple, every time he tucked her blanket tighter around her when he thought she was asleep, she felt his love deep in her half-angelic bones.

(He'd even gotten better at telling her directly.)

So, no, Iris herself had never doubted that her father loved her. But she could see what damage it could do if you did. How it made you think that, if your parents didn't love you, no one ever could, because your true self was repulsive.  

No amount of 'I love you's from her had been able to fix that mess yet.

"I know you're afraid -" he started to protest, but she shushed him - "I know you're afraid she'll reject you. And that's a shitty scenario, I'll grant you. But imagine how happy you could be. If it all works out, I mean. And honestly, is it fair to her to let this suggestion of a relationship hang in the air, if you never plan to act on it? Dad, if you really, really can't do this - which, for the record, I know you can - then you have to let her go."

He was deadly still, staring transfixed into her eyes. "I don't want to do that. Let her go."

Iris smiled at him. "There's your answer, then."

His forehead made a rather comical sound on impact with the steering wheel.

"You know, I never imagined I'd say this, but I liked you better when you were smaller," he grumbled.

Iris laughed. "That's what Mum says when I can offer a plausible explanation for why I didn't tidy my room."

"I've always been convinced that your mother is an extraordinarily wise woman."

Oh yes, she was. This impromptu counseling she provided for her dad? Her mum did the same thing for everyone else. It was in her nature, caring and considerate as she was.

In her job as a doctor, that often came in handy. There had never been a complaint filed against her mother, as far as she knew; a rarity in her profession.  

"And right you are. Now, let's talk about the urgent matters at hand. Can we get cocoa puffs?"

Lifting his head, Lucifer smiled for the first time since leaving the station. His hands loosened their grip on the poor, abused steering wheel and slid to his thighs.

"You only love me for the food I provide you with, don't you?"

Iris wrinkled her forehead, returning his look and quipping, "Wow, you really are channeling Mum today."

Removing his keys from the ignition, her father laughed. "I am feeling rather parental today. It's peculiar. I wonder how that came to be."

Satisfied with the result of the talk and relieved her dad wasn't having a meltdown anymore, Iris left the car and skipped ahead to the store entrance.

Turning her head back towards him, she yelled, "Last one in has to do the dishes tonight!"

Apparently, an intercontinental flight and berating your father in a grocery store car par took a lot out of you. By the time Lucifer had packed away the groceries, Iris was asleep in her seat.

He took a good look at her. She seemed hardly changed from the last time he had seen her.

Her hair, inherited from him,  the poor child, was as unruly as ever, curls sticking every which way. But on her, he found, the hairdo seemed rather adorable.

Long lashes almost blocked his view on the dark rings under her eyes. He couldn't tell if they were a very recent addition or if they stemmed from the stress of school finals.

Lucifer was of the opinion that his daughter was rather lovely, but he had found most people thought that way of their offspring, even if the exact opposite was the case.

At that moment, Iris started snoring rather loudly. Right. Lovely.

He got into the Corvette and pulled away from the grocery store, heading home.

It was 3 pm. Quite enough time for Iris to take a nap before the detectives and their spawn showed up. More than enough if he didn't wake her up and just let her sleep till 6.

So when he reached Lux, he handed the valet his keys and instructed him to bring up the bags from the car after parking it. Lucifer then slid his arms under Iris' shoulders and knees, careful not to wake her up, and carried her towards the building.

One of his other employees (affectionately dubbed Man Bun by him and Maze), who'd coincidentally seen the procedure, was holding the door open.

His eyebrows were almost making contact with his hairline, eyes fixed on Iris. Man Bun opened his mouth, then closed it again, obviously struggling with the decision to speak up.

Lucifer could imagine where his thoughts were going, and he didn't appreciate it.

Well, actually, he was glad his employees questioned what went on in his club. As someone who advocated free will, Lucifer was quick to fire people who condoned harassment, and accepting of employees speaking their minds.

Man Bun seemed very much distrustful of a grown man carrying a previously unknown, apparently unconscious teenage girl up his penthouse apartment. And ready to intervene in the interest of said girl, even it could cost him his job. That, he approved of.

What he didn't approve of was the repulsive assumption that he was going to do anything to a defenceless girl. He supposed he could not blame Man Bun, though.

"This is my daughter Iris. Jet lag," he therefore simply said. Man Bun (what was his real name?), walking beside him to the lift, greatly relaxed.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a daughter?" he said casually, the unspoken question standing in the room.

"She lives in England with her mother, most of the time," Lucifer explained. Man Bun pressed the 'up'-button.

"I didn't notice before, but she looks like you," he observed.

"She does, lucky girl. Hit the genetic jackpot," Lucifer replied.

Man Bun grinned.

Thankfully, the lift didn't take much longer to arrive. He really wasn't interested in more of this inane small talk.

He stepped in, Man Bun pressed the penthouse button and left.

Arrived upstairs, Lucifer laid his daughter down on the bed in the guest room, took her shoes off and tucked the duvet around her, then closed the door behind him as silently as possible.

[gabriellakirtonblog]

The Fitness Industry Is Broken – A Story About Hope

Nobody could have predicted how it would happen.

Nobody saw the coronavirus pandemic shutting down the gyms and throwing tens of thousands of fitness professionals out of work.

But everybody knew something was wrong.

I saw it back in 2008, when I strained my hamstring playing hockey, and was forced off my feet for two weeks. I’d been a personal trainer for four years, working at a top gym with a full schedule. But in the fitness industry, if you can’t work, you don’t get paid.

If something as mundane as a hamstring injury could affect my income so drastically, how could personal training be a viable career? How can you bet on a business where success is contingent on nothing going wrong, when so many things can go wrong?

We’re good at building unbreakable bodies, but not unbreakable careers.

The strongest trainers in the gym are often powerless at work, subject to the whims of their clients and employers.

If anything keeps you or your clients out of the gym—from a family emergency to a global pandemic—you’re out of luck.

How could such a brittle business model survive?

The model was broken for trainers, clients, and gym owners

It’s not just the trainers who get hurt by this broken business model. It doesn’t work for clients or employers either.

Our job as trainers is to remove stress from our clients’ lives, not add to it.

And yet, we sell our services in strict blocks of 60 minutes, no matter the needs or goals of the individual. Doesn’t matter if the client is a detrained novice who would be best served with a 20- or 30-minute workout, or someone with more ambitious performance or physique goals who needs longer sessions.

We fill the beginner’s time with stretching or treadmill walking, or dumb stuff like triceps pushdowns. (Admit it. You’ve done this. I have too.)

“But I can really feel it working . . .”

And for that more advanced client, the one who wants to build muscle or train for a sport, we try to cram 75 minutes’ worth of training into that predetermined one-hour session.

We cut rest breaks too short, and turn strength or hypertrophy work into metabolic conditioning. Yes, they work hard, but it’s still a suboptimal workout for their goals.

And the client had better show up on time, because they’re paying the trainer no matter what fraction of the service they receive.

Consider one of my favorite clients back in the day. (I trained clients in person from 2006 to 2012.) He was a doctor, the head of the emergency department at a major hospital.

Was it fair to tell him he must show up precisely at 6 p.m.? Or if he has to cancel at the last minute (because, you know, things happen in the emergency room), he gets charged anyway?

Now consider gym owners. If the model serves anyone, you’d think they’d be the ones to benefit.

But most new gyms and studios go out of business within a year or two. A person who has the passion to open a gym rarely has the capital, business knowledge, or management skill to keep it open.

Gym goers expect a big, bright space filled with expensive cardio and weight machines, but they don’t want to pay high membership fees. If you open your gym in a relatively affluent area, where people can afford those fees, you’ll pay a lot more per square foot. But you’ll also have a lot of competition, which drives prices down.

Personal training used to be an expensive misuse of talent …

… and it’s time for this to end

Another problem, for both trainers and gym owners, is the need to turn a service like personal training into a lucrative revenue stream. The pressure to sell more sessions leads to high turnover and low morale.

The best trainers work the longest hours, from early morning to late evening, since that’s when clients want to be trained. They burn out and leave, while trainers who aren’t as good at sales get pushed out.

It’s an unfortunate and expensive misuse of talent.

But there’s a better way, one where everybody wins. It’s called online training. You’ve probably heard about it. Unfortunately, there’s a serious lack of understanding as to how it fits into the story.

When there’s an online component the clients get a better service, trainers make more money with better hours, and gym owners multiply their profit per square foot.

I’ve promoted online training since 2013, and I launched the Online Trainer Academy, the world’s first certification program for remote coaching, in 2016.

Online training isn’t about sipping Mai Tais on the beach with your feet up. It’s about resiliency. Online training is about building a fitness business where everybody wins because it allows fitness to dictate business.

I believed that before COVID-19 turned everything upside down. If it hadn’t been a virus, it would’ve been something else. Disruption was inevitable before, and will be again.

That’s why it’s imperative for fitness professionals to build a robust business model that can not only withstand tough times, but thrive in them.

Perhaps the most telling part is that everybody knew this to be true.

A tale of a broken gym owner who failed to act

Case in point: Several months ago, my company was contacted by a gym owner with more than a dozen locations. He wanted us to build an online training operation for his gyms.

It was a smart choice. The new revenue stream, with almost 100 percent profit, would’ve given him a significant advantage over his competitors.

But he turned down our proposal, deciding instead to open another very expensive gym in an extremely competitive market. The new location cost about six times the amount we proposed to set up and oversee his online training business.

COVID-19 forced him to temporarily shut down his gyms and lay off hundreds of employees. Last I saw, he was complaining on social media about how unfair the situation is, and how the government had better compensate him for the lost revenue.

I don’t say that with any malice. I really hope he comes out of this all right, and his employees can get back to work.

The crazy part about this story is how close he came to making the right call.

He understood how valuable online training could be for his business.

He knew a small investment could generate big returns.

But instead of acting on his vision for the future, he doubled down on his past by opening that new location. And it broke him.

I’ll never know why he made that choice. But I can guess.

One choice represented change. It didn’t matter that it was a cheaper option, with more upside and less downside. Change is hard. It goes against all our instincts to do something new and different when things are going well. Even if you know something isn’t quite right, it’s difficult to recognize your areas of vulnerability.

The other choice, the one with more cost, more risk, and less potential upside, represented continuity. No change.

And for a while, it seemed to work. Things were humming along until COVID-19 exposed his vulnerability.

When preparation meets opportunity – Rhonda’s story

Consider another example:

When her first granddaughter was born with physical challenges, Rhonda Dougherty James’ family was faced with a dilemma: Her daughter needed to return to work to keep her health insurance. But she couldn’t put her baby in daycare because of her health problems.

The solution was for James to fly back to St. Louis every week to take care of her granddaughter, and then fly home for the weekends.

If she’d opened that gym like she’d originally planned, or if all her income came from training clients in person, she wouldn’t have been able to keep working while she commuted.

But because she trained clients online, she was able to work with them from wherever she happened to be. She wrote programs in airports and shot Facebook Live videos in her daughter’s spare bedroom, sometimes with a stack of Pampers boxes visible in the corner.

She did that for a year, and then rented an apartment in St. Louis for another year. Now that her granddaughter is healthy and thriving, she’s back in Florida full time.

There was no way James could’ve prepared for that specific situation. But that’s not the point. The point is that online training gave her the flexibility to step up when her family needed her most.

You can hear Rhonda tell the story in her own words here.

A story about hope

The fitness industry was long overdue for a course correction.

If it hadn’t been a pandemic, it would’ve been something else—something random and unexpected. And, like COVID-19, it would’ve been a catalytic event that exposed the vulnerabilities of our business model, forcing all of us to evolve.

It’s going to hurt. Good people with bad businesses will suffer. Some will come out better on the other end, but some won’t. That sucks.

But let’s be honest. Much of the fitness industry had been on cruise control for a long time.

It was bad, but not quite bad enough to force change. And this is why things were so broken.

Fortunately, we’re an industry that attracts strong people.

Not just physically strong, which is what we’re known for. We’re also strong-willed.

We persevere. That’s why we keep lifting while others watch Netflix.

We don’t complain when things hurt. We call it DOMS and celebrate it.

We thrive when we push ourselves outside our comfort zone.

What’s normal for us is too intense for most people.

Our industry is going to come out of this stronger and healthier. And our best people are going to thrive as a result.

Yes, it’s going to be difficult. Some businesses will shut down for good. The sudden loss of income will strain relationships, sometimes to the breaking point.

But it’s going to force everyone to stop gliding. To evolve. To change.

In the words of the esteemed Rocky Balboa:

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

This pandemic is a wake-up call

During a time of quarantine and social distancing, online training is our only option. But it won’t be for long. When the gyms reopen, many trainers and gym owners will heed the lesson of COVID-19, and see online coaching as an essential part of their business.

Others will see the pandemic not just as a wake-up call, but as a sign that the industry is broken beyond repair, and it’s time to get out.

You know what? Both are fine, because both result in certainty. No more gliding along in a broken industry, complaining about how things should be, but not doing anything about it because things weren’t quite bad enough to force action.

The choice is yours: Will you step up, or step out?

The pandemic’s effects will be with us for a long time. Even after the threat recedes, it will take months, if not years, for people to return to their gyms en masse.

This kind of fear and discomfort doesn’t just go away. It’s going to be a long time before people shake hands and feel comfortable in crowds again.

I can’t say what the fitness industry will look like when things once again feel stable. But I guarantee it will never go back to how it was. There will be a new normal. And that’s okay, because the old normal was a broken fitness industry.

A lot of people will look back at this crazy time as the moment it all changed. I hope you’ll see it as a time when you were challenged in a way you could never have anticipated, but nonetheless rose to the challenge, levelled up, and evolved.

This is your chance to build a resilient and robust business. You’ve been forced to do what you’ve known you should have been doing all along: Add another income stream, one that allows you to make money while not having to be physically present.

Online training is what allows you to keep training clients when you’re stuck on the couch with a torn hamstring. Or when you have a family emergency that forces you to work from multiple locations, including airports and spare bedrooms. Or when the next crisis, whatever it is, makes all of us change the way we do business.

I, for one, am hopeful for what’s to come. I think it’s going to be beautiful. Because, after all, pressure makes diamonds.

And if you decide it’s time to start online training and learn the best model for delivery and sales, I wanted to now invite you to enroll in the Online Trainer Academy Certification.

We’ve just released Essentials, a more cost-effective version of our world-renowned certification course.

Regardless of whether or not you decide to join us, I hope you heed this call and step up. Our industry needs you now more than ever, and I can’t wait to see what happens.

The post The Fitness Industry Is Broken – A Story About Hope appeared first on The PTDC.

The Fitness Industry Is Broken – A Story About Hope published first on https://onezeroonesarms.tumblr.com/