#anyway. personal vent or whatever

[lerni-esti-auxtisma]

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[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

[nyc-pizza-rat]

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[gaytobymeres]

Need to buy new work trousers because mine have so many holes and rips in them (you’d think work trousers would be tougher but no) which means I now begin the most frustrating and sexist task of finding women’s work trousers

[badolmen]

I think another hurdle to ‘I want to try HRT’ is that like…I mostly want top surgery. That’s my number one selfish “if you had a million dollars what would you do with it?” fantasy is taking a few months off to get and recover from top surgery.

Trying HRT has always felt secondary to that. Like, I would finally feel confident and happy enough to try HRT to enhance that happiness, not as a requirement for it. But like, I guess a part of me thinks that I won’t be taken seriously if I actually try to get top surgery if I’m not ‘already’ getting HRT. Which is stupid like - I’m sure plenty of people get top surgery without ever touching HRT. I’m sure I could find a surgeon who’d be willing to give me top surgery without suggesting HRT first.

BUT…the unknown is scary and I’ve been laughed at and had my needs ignored by enough surgeons who were operating for very serious pain/mobility based reasons, not ‘I’ve been wearing compression bras to bed since I was 9 because I’m dysphoric about my chest but like not necessarily in a binary transman way’ reasons. I guess I just feel like I need to cover my bases to be taken seriously about this.

[batwynn]

On top of my autoimmune stuff…

I think I might be losing my brain function at an alarmingly fast level but my nero apt isn’t until the end of the month. (After waiting four months already and this is actually FAST) I’m really, really worried and there’s NO urgency from any of my doctors as usual. There’s no way they’d be this blasé about it if they were experiencing the same symptoms. I can’t even get a CT scan never mind MRI before I got to neurology, even when the neuro paperwork asks what’s been checked before I go in. Doctor just shrugged and said ‘see what they say’. Dude. I don’t know if I can even make it to the apt. I can’t even fucking see right now.

[cecilsrandomeverything]

Who else up wanting to be objectified because then at least you’ll be wanted and chased after. You won’t have to chase after others anymore, you can let it all go and trust that you’ll be carried and not dropped. No one?? Okay….

[dannirr00ni]

onneeee day people will talk to me because they choose to not because they have to

[koussevitzky]

How do I explain to professors that two weeks ago I thought I was going to be dead or dropped out of the university without sounding like I’m asking for pity or special treatment because to be honest I don’t give a fuck if I fail this semester I just need them to understand that, trust me, I don’t feel *good* about being a shit student but I almost got institutionalized last week 😭 get me out of here bro

[catboybeebop]

man i. i really do need to work on myself huh

[seventh-district]

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[cathalbravecog]

veep dad comfort art

[c4tto626]

i get the criticism people have for how veilguard handles the crows but also i don't think it's unrealistic for an organisation to change over the course of over two decades, more than one near-world-ending event and a number of deaths among the leadership, as well as an ongoing hostile occupation of a city that is quite important to said organisation, like. yeah. the crows of 9:52 probably aren't going to be the same as the crows of 9:30

[noodle-shenaniganery]

can we stop trying to bully people into advocacy, please?

can we stop making people feel personally responsible for issues they only just heard of and may not even understand?

can we stop yelling and berating people who aren’t putting all of their (probably limited) energy into researching something that has almost nothing to do with them and which may stress them out?

can we stop pressuring people who are already struggling to survive to limit their options on how they can live, what they can eat?

please?

please

can we stop

[laugtherhyena]

3:23AM, time to post Hatamori fankid and retreat back into my hiding hole

[galactic-rhea]

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Sometimes I remember my family is, overall, very very stupid