#aramis. swanode

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  “ you left, without so much as telling me goodbye. “ for aramis :)

“i know.”

he can’t defend himself, not really, and she is smart enough that she would likely see through anything he thought to say. besides, she deserves better than his cowardice. “i couldn’t bear to see you with him anymore,” but it hadn’t just been about her. “and i made a deal, with god, that i my brothers and i triumphed against a traitor at court, if all of us were alive, and you were safe, i would devote my life to him.” 

[dawncomes]

@swanode​ wanted s.tar wars stuff

“come on, can you feel it? it’s like...a warmth, safety.” he presses a gentle hand to her shoulder, trying to show odette what he sees, feel what he feels, when he lets the force flow through him. it takes different shades, but it all comes down to this. love, or the lack of it, and the lack of it is so, viscerally different that he cannot hope to explain it if she cannot grasp this first part. 

“don’t feel the life of it, feel the soul of it.”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  ‘ you are teaching me to love ’ for !!! aramis !!!

his hands rest gently on her waist, keeping her where she is on his lap, not that odette seems likely to move at the moment. this is one of those instances, those seconds that never last long enough, where the whole world seems open to them. with the sun bright and warm on the sheets of her bed, the city just starting to wake up, and the house not yet awake, it all belonged to them. “no, i don’t believe that.” 

sitting up so that their faces were closer together, aramis smiled, a soft and small one, a private one. “you loved before me, your family, your people. that’s all love.” he means that, he had seen it in her long before he’s ever taken her to bed. “this is just...love made physical.” 

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  ❝ we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. ❞ for aramis !!

his hand was moving along the soft, so soft, skin of her cheek as he just looked down at her. when the sun hit her like this, with her hair spread on the bed, and eyes so bright, he really did think this is what god meant for angels too look like. all of his religious studies, all his love for god, could be condensed into these moments.

“i’m a soldier, down into my soul, do you think you could love a soldier?”

[dawncomes]

@swanode​ sent:  “have you been thinking about me?” for aramis

how can he explain the way she haunts his mind? that when he wakes up he sees her in the moment before his eyelids open, and when he closes them at night he hopes to see her in his dreams. 

aramis has never wanted with anything less than his whole being, a want that consumes him body and soul. it’s why he could never be a priest like his father had wanted, why he had practiced with sword and gun so much that he could hit any target set before him. 

“every waking moment. and most of my sleeping ones as well.”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  ❛  if you love someone,  you tell them.  ❜ for aramis

“yes, you should. even if that love is painful, if you feel like it’s going to kill you.” maybe that’s not what a man is supposed to say to a woman looking at him with devastatingly wide eyes. he does not doubt that odette has seen pain, an engagement to a man she does not want, a future that seems to leave no place for her own desires. but what is happening between them? this is can only break their hearts. 

but he can’t pretend to think another way. love is stronger than his self control, stronger than any other force in the world. “god doesn’t want us to hide our love.”

reaching out, so slowly it aches, he puts his hands on her cheeks. bringing her so close he can feel her breath on his lips. “i love you. i love the way you laugh when you read something funny, the way your eyes go wide when you’re surprised, that you are smarter than me, and kinder than anyone else i’ve ever known.”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  “i’ve dreamt about being with you” for aramis

“oh? did you?” his words are light, teasing, and he punctuates them with a kiss to her jaw, his nose brushing against her soft skin. “tell me about this dream.”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  “we could be together for tonight” for aramis

“is that what you want, truly?” he will do whatever she asks, powerless against the need inside him when it comes to her. she could tell him to be gone from her sight and he would obey that too, though he cannot deny the pain it would cause. 

reaching out, slowly, he puts his hand on her waist, close enough to be inappropriate but he angles his body to hide them from any potential viewers, though he knew fully well they couldn’t be seen in her room. it was an instinct more than a thought. 

“tell me what you want me to do and i’ll do it, i am your’s to command.”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  ❛  you always make me feel better.  ❜ for aramis

“do i? good.”

that’s what he wants, to spark some joy in her, to watch her eyes light up when he makes her smile, to know that there is some place in this world where they can be happy. he wraps an arm around her waist, tugging her into his chest so that he can keep her safe, even if it is just for a little while. “i’ll always come when you need me.” the words are a promise he will die to keep, even if he knows that the world will hardly let him.

“what happened?”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  ❝ violence for violence is the rule of beasts. ❞ for aramis!

she surprises him at many, many turns. it’s not so much that he had expected little of her, he just hadn’t thought that a young, wealthy woman being married to a minor royal would think things like that, or if she did would say them outloud to someone she did not, really, know all that well. 

“have you spent much time around violence, my lady? true violence?” he does not doubt her intentions or her knowledge, he simply wants to know where her conviction has come from. 

“you are correct, i’ve seen it first hand. but even beasts tend to know the way to use violence, animals will rarely kill just for fun. that is just humans.”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  “people like to think war means something.” for aramis!

“because if it isn’t, then the war is a crime.” that tastes bitter even to him, a soldier, a man that believes sometimes violence is just. “only when all other options have been tried, only when it’s the last chance.” only when it for the greater good. 

he is a man that believes in love, good, and all the ways that people can change the world for the better. but he is not naïve, some people have no interest in doing good. and he is not afraid of killing. maybe that means he isn’t a good person, at least not in her eyes, but he accepts the responsibility.

“war is never good, but sometimes it is the only choice.”

[dawncomes]

@swanode sent:  ❝ you will stay who you are, not a perfect soldier, but a good man. ❞ also for aramis!

“is that an order?” he’s teasing her, always teasing her when his lips move up in that subtle smile and his eyes seem to dance with mischief. despite all that he has seen and done, aramis tries hard to maintain that boyish charm, the reason people find it easy to speak with him, to come to him. including her. he’s supposed to be guarding her, keeping her safe until her marriage to the king’s third cousin twice removed or whoever the boring man is, and, maybe he’s taken that task to the next logical conclusion. at least to him.

besides, she deserves some fun.

“and here i thought i was the best shot in the regiment, that’s got to count for something.” leaning over, he presses a kiss to her cheek, before rolling out of the bed. “speaking of which, i should get to my post. probably.”