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thinkinâ about (fem implied) targaryen!reader introducing cregan to their dragon (silverwing) for the first time
Êââ Í Ì©Í ïž” Ì©Í àš âĄ à§ Ì©Í âïž” Ì©Í Í É
though you and cregan had been married for a few moons now, he had always preferred to leave the dragon-taming to you. dragons were formidable beasts, able to wipe out populations with a single breath of fire. truthfully, he had always been weary of them. he preferred for them to stay down south, because capable of a warrior & protector cregan is, there was nothing he could do to tame the temperaments of fire made flesh.
he had no qualms about silverwing specifically â a seemingly calm and gentle beast, who had done cregan the favor of sticking to her cave, unless to hunt or stretch her wings between your visits. while not fully capable of understanding, he thought of the targaryens ancestral connection to their dragons something akin to the starks and their direwolves.
he would watch with bated breaths as you and her took to the skies, becoming one in the art of wings, not words. he would exhale with relief each time you landed unscathed, and waited for you to depart from your dragon before approaching. and thus, you had fallen into routine. cregan stuck to his castle, silverwing stuck to her cave, and that was that.
until you started showing interest in introducing one to the other. the increased mention of your dragon in various conversations, occasionally flying over winterfell itself, when you had not dared such an endeavor before. cregan caught onto your idea long before you actually brought it up, and had been mentally preparing for the conversation he had no doubt would ensue. one fateful night, on the walk to your shared chambers after supper, ensue it did.
âHusband..â you began. âWife,â was the response you got.
âIâve been thinking,â you say, gaze flickering to cregans face in uncertainty. he hums, waiting for you to continue. âand it would greatly please me to have your company on the morrow. Whilst I see Silverwing.â
cregan keeps his gaze trained ahead, and you can almost see the gears in his head moving. he speaks, tone not with malice â only interrogative. âYou would have me face the she-dragon?â
âNot face, my love. Only⊠greet.â you see the upward tug of cregans lips that tell you he doesnât think that much of a difference.
you exhale through your nose, a twinge of annoyance seeping through you. though you canât blame his hesitance (most men cower at the sight of dragons), you canât help but feel like as he denies silverwing, he denies you. doesnât he know you are one and the same?
âI only meant,â cregan says, âthat dragons are⊠formidable creatures.â heâs careful with his words, he knows you view silverwing as an extension of yourself. âTo displease a dragon is an err only men now with the gods have made.â
âSilverwing is most temperamental, and you would be safe in my company.â you assure, and you truly mean it. on dragonstone, silverwing is regarded as the gentlest of them all. âI only wish as I embrace Northern culture that you familiarize with mine own.â
cregan hums, knowing you have the right of this situation. marriage is about compromise, and youâve been steadfast in your assimilation of his culture. you were married in the sight of his gods, you moved to his home, left your family⊠cregan is aware of the sacrifices youâve made, indeed. he will meet you in the middle.
âOn the morrow, then.â
out of his peripheral, he can see the instant smile that spreads on your face. it tugs on his (thought to be cold) heartstrings, and once you stop at the heavy wooden door, you stand on your tip-toes â pressing a kiss to his cheek. he bends to aid you.
itâs safe to say when morn comes, your mood is most chipper.
you and cregan had decided to do your dragon-embracing in the early morning, hours away from meetings or duties, time carved out where you can simply be. be with one another, silverwing, and if cregan is lucky, the gods. you can almost hear the silent prayers echoing from his mind as you make your way up the hill and to your dragons home.
you register the uncertainty in his gaze, and how his eyes flicker around the stone walls of the cavern entrance. you know you ask much, for him to saunter into the dragons den, but youâre grateful for his effort. excitement bubbles in your stomach at the prospect of seeing your dragon, and introducing her to the one you love.
youâve not gone far in when you decide to halt (for cregans sake), youâre far enough in to be blocked by the wind, but close enough to the exit to soothe cregans nerves. cregans more than happy to allow you to take the lead, paying attention to your every move. you send him a smile, he attempts to return it.
you dislodge from cregans side, stepping forward as to be the first one silverwing sees. you have brought in tow a stranger, after all.
âNaejot MÄzÄ«s, GÄltÄ«kun.â come forth, silverwing.
seconds pass, before you hear a low rumbling, accompanied by the sound of rocks moving â and the sound of something moving. something big.
cregan looks around, waiting to see her emerge, but he underestimates the dragonsâ ability to cling to the shadows. had it already seen him, before he even knew it was there?
before he can finish his thoughts of curiosity about the stealth of dragons, the head of one slowly reveals itself, moving into the light, and cregan swallows. her gaze flickers to him only briefly, registering him in the least possible amount, before returning to & staying on you. you reach a hand up and out to her, and she lowers her head to you. cregan sees the brief close of her eyes, one touch from you being all it takes. targaryens, he thinks. targaryens indeed.
you step to silverwing, moving to run your hand from her nose up the expanse of her cheek, and cregan sees her lower her head almost fully to the ground. a part of him almost finds it cute. her lips split as a low rumble escapes her mouth, unlike the noises cregan hears her emit when you both are in the skies. even though cregan knows as much about dragons as you do about the witches of asshai, he would venture as far to say it didnât sound like a displeased growl. more of an unsure-curiosity-filled-question-mark. still, you donât take any chances.
âLykirÄ«.â you mutter, be calm. âZiry iksos daor se qrinuntys, mÄrÄ« issa valzÈłrys.â he is not the enemy, only my husband.
steam blows from her nostrils in an almost sigh, lighter-toned noises echoing from her throat when you finish speaking. she makes you smile, hands still pressed against the hot, scaled skin of the dragon you share a soul with.
cregan knows not what you said in your ancient tongue, but it seems more than efficient in guiding silverwing toward the acceptance of cregans presence. she is cool-tempered, as you said. he remembers what feels like so long ago that he encountered your brother jacaerysâs dragon, vermax. an ill-tempered beast, he was â cregan would say. though he canât blame it all on vermax entirely, dragons donât like the cold.
once youâve roamed your hands across silverwings neck, drinking her in, you beckon him over. âCome, Cregan.â
you could have went to him and came back to silverwing, but truthfully, you challenge him in a silent test of bravery. will he trust you, as youâve trusted him?
cregans gaze moves from you, to your dragon â where it stays. heâs cautious, but you canât fault him for that, and he eventually begins to step forward.
silverwing keeps her gaze trained on cregan, keeping herself unusually still as he approaches. you canât claim to know the heart of a dragon, but your intuition tells you itâs her gentle nature â she doesnât want to scare him. you amuse yourself with the thought of meleys or vermax in silverwings current place. meleysâ intimidating horns moving as she tilts her head to the side, challenging anyone to step forward (that isnât rhaenys), or the light snap of vermaxâs jaws as he enjoys toying with the man, watching them jump back from the prospect of his teeth.
when heâs a breath away from her, you decide to take pity, and move from silverwings side. now it is you and cregan, looking into her eyes in a silent understanding.
you slide your hand over his own, and move it up to touch her snout. she could pull away, or leave you a widow, but she doesnât. she even moves a hair forward, nudging herself into cregans hand. the surprise in his face is palpable.
âSheâs warm.â he says.
you nod. âIn more ways than one, yes.â
you stand there for minutes, cregan lightly stroking silverwing, and her enjoying the attention. only when cregan himself removes his hand do you pull away.
âAs much as I have⊠thoroughly enjoyed this,â he says, looking at silverwing as if she can speak the common tongue. âI think Iâve exercised bravery more than enough, this morn. Winterfell awaits.â
you sigh at the prospect of leaving your dragon and facing your duties. âThat it does.â
cregan looks at you, secretly admiring your features. it is one thing to cautiously approach a dragon, and make it out alive. itâs another to slide on its back, and a different thing entirely to speak its language. he canât deny the certain aura he feels, gazing at your silvery-hair, knowing you share the feature with all of your ancestors.
âWill you join me, or should I expect to return alone, cold and wifeless?â he asks, a smirk breaking its way through his usually-hardened exterior in light of his sarcasm. it makes you smile, so it was well worth it.
âFreezing and lonely, for now.â you say, brushing your cloak aside to show him a glint of your riding attire. the sight of it only etched love in cregans pupils as he reaches out for you, and connects his lips to yours. the kiss is briefer than you both would have liked, but duty unfortunately calls. once you break apart, he looks at silverwing, and with a quick nod of his head, turns to exit the den heâs grown to appreciate.
cregans approaching winterfells gates when he hears the whoosh of wings, and looks up just in time to see a familiar pair fly over him & winterfells walls. the men around him duck, your laugh and silverwings screech intertwining into a euphony fit only for the gods to hear â and as cregan watches you dance with the clouds, he remembers the feeling of dragon-scaled warmth under his palm.
Êââ Í Ì©Í ïž” Ì©Í àš âĄ à§ Ì©Í âïž” Ì©Í Í É
#house of the dragon#cregan stark#cregan stark x reader#targaryen!reader#cregan stark x targaryen!reader#house targaryen#silverwing#i eat up targaryen reader everytime sorry#do i like targaryens#ehhhh#are they fun to write#YEAHHHH BABY#anyways#not proofread#and i used a translator for the valyrian so hop off#if u say anything about it please remember itâs made up and iâd have to look for a fuck to give before responding#and thatâs truly tedious#cregan stark thoughts#cregan stark drabble#cregan stark blurb#cregan stark prompt
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nothing but respect for our troops (smut writers) but listen. i dont want to be the person to tell you this, but not every character is going to be a dom or a sub. some people. and i know this is hard to hear. but some people do have vanilla sex. and some of those people might even be The Character.
#kellan.txt#fandom#the kink fic post#editing to add the following tags:#obviously people can do whatever they want i am not the fandom police#dont like dont read. i will click out if i dont like itâyou all have fun#this is mostly just an expression of a different set of priorities#where i prioritize writing/reading smut that is 'in character' per my hc/read on a character#and other people either don't have the same read or are just writing per their own preferences#no judgment is being made here im not like mad at anyone or saying anyone is doing smth wrong#eta again: turned off replies because wow. it is the fucking wild west in there huh.#final edit: i've muted notifications permanently.
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ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!
#this trend sparked so much joy in my soul#i saw many fun cute and silly mikus#i love drawing habesha clothes but a lot of them require small detailed embroidery that makes me go insane#this is why ppl use pattern brushes cuz damn i had to simplify everything basically#also im bad at writing amharic and tigrinya oops!!#this was fun it got me outta a slump i was in all damn week#interestingly... their faces look a lot like my siblings and i? i didnt mean to do that at all tho... huh#my art#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#vocaloid
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and obviously you find yourself thinking oh i do wish i could get severed to do this one thing. would you actually maybe not. but you do wish you didn't have to undergo medical procedures you do wish you didn't have to do the things that give you anxiety you do wish you didn't have to do tedious tasks that barely even require you to be present for them. it's tempting. that's why the premise works. but the premise is also that somebody has to do it. somebody has to go to the dentist and somebody has to get on that plane and somebody has to write those thank you notes. just like somebody has to clean the house and somebody has to harvest the food you eat and somebody has to make the clothes you wear. you can't eliminate inconvenience you can only delegate it. you can't eliminate suffering you can only delegate it. and always the easiest way to live with this is to see that somebody as less than. less than you less than people. and if that somebody has to wear your body to do it well maybe it's not all that different. they're not a person. you are. it's capitalism all the way down baby
#sorrrryyyy i can't stop thinking about this#i was writing a thing that i allegedly do for fun#and i found myself wishing that somebody else would write the sequences that i find uninspiring but are necessary to the story#like that's an easy thing to want. would you create a person to do that and only that is the question#and like. maybe not for your stupid hobby but a lot of people just aren't too many steps removed from being okay with it#the groundwork is there it's capitalism baby!!!!!!#severance#severance spoilers
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#fanfic#fanfiction#otp#one true pairing#I ship it#shipping characters#poll#polls#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtqiia+#fanfic readers#fanfic writing#fanfiction reader#fanfiction writer#fanfiction thoughts#fanfiction tropes#fanfic tropes#fandoms#fandom#ao3 fanfic#tumblr polls#fandom polls#reading poll#book poll#writing poll#read a book#polls are fun#queer
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I finally took the time to photograph my vintage dip pen nib collection, and I need to share with you all how wonderful and diverse their designs are.

These two are my favorite. Just look at them! One of them is named Gorille and the other Mephisto, but to me they're little pumpkins.

And of course you gotta love the Pinocchio nib. You get to write with the nose of a tiny guy! Just not something you get to do anymore.

#I collect them because they come in fun shapes but they're also incredibly nice to use#all the ones I own write impressively smoothly#even the most flexible and fine pointed nibs#I have a ton of modern nibs as well (like a lot) and smoothness plus flexibility is not a common trait combo#good object#dip pens
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(bellara/taash) nerd/jocks lovers rise up
#dragon age#bellara lutare#taash#bellataash#that's a nonexistent tag I'm just baptizing it in the hopes it takes off#I watched taash's romance just for fun and they are 1) corny as hell 2) it circles back into being endearing to me. sorry I love them#I do think there's definitely issues with things in their writing here and there don't get me wrong. but I AM obsessed with them#same goes for bellara tbh#anyway that's all I'll say I'm allergic to posting opinions online. do not contact me with unsolicited advice or offers etc#f
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One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.
Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.
It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?
Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.
#idk what to tag this#worldbuilding#writing fiction#historical fiction#fantasy#a real-life example: my dad (a pediatrician) was once entrusted with the care of a baby who was born with a rare condition#this was in a place without great hospital/medical access and anyway they were going to fly the baby over#and he specifically asked them to bring the mother and baby#they show up with baby and...the baby's uncle#and he was like. y'all. do you think I asked for the mom to come just for fun??? We don't have formula here. what is the baby going to eat?
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*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If youâd like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and weâll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).
#poll#polls#fandom#fandoms#blorbo#fictional characters#comfort character#blorbos#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#archive of our own#fanart#fan art#artist#artists#writer#writers#writeblr#writing#poll time#random polls#incognito polls#fun polls#tumblr polls#tumblr poll
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Idk man, TTG was pretty good for the most part
#instanses ofâŠ. questionable writing choices aside#itâs dumb but fun#just like me! :D#my art#dick Grayson#Tim Drake#Jason Todd#Damian Wayne#bat family#Robin#TTG#teen titans go#dc
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tantrum

synopsis: what makes sylus snap?
tags: fluff, sylus is tired and grumpy bc he misses you, he obliterates his phone with his evol, sunshine reader probably, cartoonish luke and kieran appearance (sorry boys) word count: 842
a/n: after that magnum opus line i really wanted to see sylus throw a tantrum and i kept mulling over what would actually make him do that because i canât see him doing anything much worse than this. i think heâd find Actual grown man tantrums lame. anyway i donât like this and will maybe delete? nvm but i had the writing urge so i sacrificed this concept from my wips.Â
When you arrived at the base after your three-week business trip, your long-awaited homecoming wasâŠtame, to say the least. Youâd been expecting a teasing âHow nice of you to join us, sweetie,â or a cocky yet vulnerable âI was beginning to think youâd run away.â But once youâd stepped through the front door, Sylus had barely said a word. A soft âWelcome homeâ and a kiss on the forehead, and before you knew it, you were cradled in his arms as he carried you to his office.
Heâd sat you both down in his leather armchair, making you face him in a straddle. His tired eyes had searched yours, and a moment later, heâd buried his face into your neck, inhaling deeply.Â
âI missed you,â youâd murmured into his ear, pressing a kiss to his hair. With a quiet groan, heâd tightened his grip on your hips and nuzzled into you even deeper.
Thatâd been 15 minutes ago. Basking in the comfortable silence, youâd traded kisses all the whileâyours on his hair, his on your neck.Â
But suddenly, a low buzzing noise cuts your reunion short: his phone is ringing.
When he makes no effort to answer, still breathing heavily in your embrace, you twist in his arms and accept the call before he can protest.Â
A familiar voice crackles over the line. âBoss?â Kieran asks. âNext meetingâs in 10. The one about those stolen shipments from Linkonâweâve been waiting to hear back for months. You coming?â
Sylus doesnât answer.
ââŠBoss?â Kieran repeats. âBoss, you there? You okaââ
Red and black mist shreds the phone into pieces.Â
âSylus!â you yelp, jumping in his lap. âWhatâd you do that for? Heâll probably be worried. And how will I text you now?â
You pout up at him, and as you study his chronically calm expression, you see something unusual: Sylusâs eye twitches. Just for a millisecond, only moving a millimeter, but you catch it.
âIâll have a new one delivered tomorrow. As for the meeting, Iâll stay here,â he says lightly, a tight, closed-lip smile on his face.
âBut Kieran said it was important,â you reply in confusion. âWhy donât you want to go? Are you feeling sick?â you frown, starting to lift off of him.
âNo,â comes his too-quick reply. âItâs justâŠthe twins can go in my stead,â he decides simply, moving to lean into you again.
But before he can move an inch, a rhythmic sequence of knocks sounds at the door.
âCome in!â you chirp happily, too excited to see the faces youâd missed the last few weeks to notice Sylus stiffening under you.
Immediately, the door swings open, revealing two masked figures.Â
âHi Luke, hi Kieran!â you beam, and they wave back at you eagerly.
âLong time no see,â Kieran begins. âBoss, did you lose signal or something? I tried calling you about the meeting, but I think it disconnected. Anyway, weâre about to head down andââ
âCancel it,â a frustrated growl rings out.
You all freeze.
Somehow, youâd been too wrapped up in your excitement to feel Sylus's body shakingâno, quakingâbeneath you.
âW-what? But theyâre already here!â Luke sputters.
âCancel. It.â Sylus grits out the words as if holding back a snarl, and the power in his voice leaves no room for argument.Â
âOâŠkay,â the boys say in unison, and as they back away slowly, you shoot them a sympathetic look.
Red tendrils wrench the door shut behind them, and when youâre alone once more, itâs like the man under you deflates.
His head returns to the crevice of your neck with a soft but unceremonious thud, and his deep exhales and burning hot skin tell you heâs trying to calm himself down.Â
Uncertain and a little amazedâyouâd never seen him lose his composureâyou give his cheek a gentle poke. âSylus,â you whisper. Nothing.Â
âPsst. Sylus,â you try again, and thereâs some force behind your poke this time. With bated breath, you watch as your finger sinks into the space under his cheekbone, sighing in relief when the corner of his mouth twitches upwards.Â
Lifting his head up to make eye contact, you smile at him softly. âHi.â
ââŠHi,â he rumbles, and as his crimson gaze softens, the remaining annoyance dissolves from his face.
âAre you upset?â you prod gently.Â
A brazen scoff precedes the dry chuckles that fall from his lips. âAnd what makes you say that, kitten?â
A squint and a slight tilt of your head is all it takes.Â
âI havenât had you to myself in a while,â he begins cautiously. âThree weeks isâŠa long time. The longest weâve been apart. And then the moment I have you in my arms, wellâŠâ he trails off, gesturing to the shards of phone on the table. âI just want to enjoy you right now. Undisturbed.â
âOh, I see,â you coo, cupping his face in your hands. âIs this your way of saying you missed me too?â you quirk a brow.
âYes,â he responds through squished cheeks, honest and unabashed. âNow, wonât you stay with me like this for a little longer?â
#fun fact i was determined to write smut yesterday and somehow this is what i came up with. my period cannot come soon enough#supposed to be a drabble but twice as long as my longest drabble#im nothing#iris writes#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#sylus fluff#love and deepspace fluff#lads#lads x reader#lads sylus#lads fluff#lnds#lnds fluff#lnds x reader#lnds sylus#sylus qin#sylus#sylus love and deepspace
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This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo or fandom related question you want to our inbox and weâll make a poll on which people can vote!
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the four steps between (best) friends and lovers
summary: Long-time best friends, it's not a surprise that it's you Steve comes to when he needs a fake girlfriend. One little white lie, one perilous family dinner, one evening of pretending to be a couple.
How hard could it be?
[ 12k + best friends to lovers + fake dating + fem!reader]



STEP ONE: THE PROPOSAL
"Be my girlfriend."
The glass held between your fingers slips and makes a loud bang as it hits the sink. The water from the tap pours over it, unaware of the incredibly unusual change in the universe that just occurred.
You tilt your head up, ignoring the lost glass, and raise your eyebrows high. "Come again?"
Steve huffs a little, as though you're the one being rather dramatic, and leans further forward across the island. His hands are planted firmly, his hazel eyes wide as he all but pouts at you. You're still grappling with where the hell that came from.
"Be my girlfriend. Please." He says. "For just one dinner, I promise. I swear I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't actually desperate."
You blink, clearly having missed a beat somewhere.
Frowning, you finally shut off the tap and rescue your abandoned glass from the bottom of the sink. You pick up and give it a quick once over for any chips. Scot-free, luckily.
"Okay, back up." You say, giving a small shake to clear your head. You make a face. "First of all, Harrington, ouch."
Steve sags a bit. "C'mon, you know that's not what I mean."
Not even a hint of a smile at your dig â which tells you he's probably pretty serious then.
"Secondly, what dinner is this? What could be so important that you have to show up with a faux-girlfriend on your arm?"
Steve properly slumps this time, a loud groan accompanying the languished movement. His forehead presses against the counter-top and you bite your tongue to avoid making an unhelpful, teasing comment about it. Instead, you refill the glass in your hand and wait patiently.
"IâŠ" Steve begins, his voice muffled against the counter-top.
"MybrotherisintownwithhisfiancĂ©eandIâ"
"Steveeee," You interrupt as you give in to the urge, leaning over and poking him in the head. "If you want my help, please stop mumbling into the counter and tell me the problem."
He doesn't move for a moment, still face down, but you can see the rise and fall of his back as he sighs deeply. He shifts, twisting so his face is no longer hidden. It's noticeably pinker than it was a minute ago.
"My brother is in town next week." He explains. "With his fiancée. And my parents really love to kick up a fuss whenever he gets brought up, whether it's, yanno, like, about jobs and shit or whatever."
Steve waves a careless hand out. He rises from his slumped position, tucking his chin into the palm of his hand.
"And, like, this time it was about relationships. It was all," Steve's voice pitches up, whiny and nasally. "When are you going to get a serious relationship like Brandon, Steve? When are you going to settle down, Steve? When are you going to stop being a disappointment, Steve?"
He huffs another sigh, this one tinged with more defeat. You feel your face twitch in sympathy.
"So, just to get them shut up IâŠ" Steve averts his gaze to study the counter-top suddenly. He draws an idle circle with his free hand. "I said that I was actually dating someone."
You take in his words. "But you're not."
"Thank you, genius. I had no idea." Steve straightens up with a scoff, throwing his hands out. Dragging them down his face, another groan warbles out of him.
"But now they're expecting me to show up to this dinner with someone â someone I'm dating â and I cannot admit I lied. So, please, be my girlfriend for one night."
You snort. His distress, a disaster of his own making, is just a tad bit funny. Just a little. A smidge. "Dude, chill. Just say your girlfriend is sick and she can't come."
Steve laughs mirthlessly. "That's like the adult equivalent of saying oh you don't know her, she goes to another school. No, I can't do that! C'mon, please."
His hands clasp together, raised in a plea.
"Think of it as one hugely, massive favour."
You take a moment to think it over.
"When is it?"
"This weekend, Saturday, 5 o'clock."
"Dress code?"
"Formal. Duh."
"How many people?"
"Uh, my mom, my dad, my brother, his fiancée. Maybe my uncle? Four or five."
Saturday was only a couple days away. He'd left it awfully late to askâand you're not exactly sure who else would step up for the job if you said no. For the first time since he threw out the insane suggestion, you properly consider it â and feel your face screw up instinctively.
You? Pretending to be Steve's girlfriend?
Sure, to some girls that probably sounded like a dream come true, but it hadn't ever been like that between you and Steve.
You weren't even sure if you could picture it, being tucked under his arm, receiving delicate kisses on the head instead of noogies. Your nose wrinkles again at the oddity.
It wasn't like people didn't like to speculate â men and women can't just be friends, after all â but getting on Steve Harrington's kiss list had never really been a priority to you. Would you even be able to pull it off?
Your mind casts out to the girls that Steve tends to date, nit-picking as you try to think of what separated you from them. While Steve would certainly vehemently deny it, you're pretty sure you can pick a pattern out from the array of girls. A type that you certainly wouldn't see yourself fitting into.
Steve just⊠doesn't go for girls like you.
Steve, watching you closely, sees the hesitation sink in. He leans forward again, bargaining face on.
"You can veto every movie we watch for the next month."
You squint at him. Raise your chin an inch, forcing yourself not to smile too obviously. It's not often you get to see Steve looking ready to actually grovel for something.
He narrows his eyes, catching onto your deviousness. "Fine. I'll pay for your shakes for the next month, too."
You take another moment to think it over, exaggerating the hmmm sound you make. You tap your finger against your chin, indicating you're not quite convinced yet.
Steve leans further forward, his expression inching toward a bitchy disbelief. A muscle in his jaw twitches.
He looks as though he might start another slew of scoffing, his tongue pressed into his cheek, before he seems to re-evaluate what's at stake here.
He says, "I will drive you up to Indianapolis onâ" He holds up one finger. "âone occasion when you ask."
Grinning, you stick out your hand for him to shake.
"You've got a deal, mister."
Steve sighs, his shoulders sagging in relief as he drops his hand to rest in yours. You give it a firm shake and just when you can see the thank-you forming on his lips, you tug his hand forward. You grin wider, almost taunting.
"I would've done it just for the shakes, just so you know."
Steve does scoff this time, ripping his hand back from yours. "You're an awful friend."
You bite down your smile, already dreaming of the free shake you'll be sipping all the way out to Indianapolis. You take a sip of your water and raise your brows at Steve over the lip of your cup.
"Hey. Don't you mean awful girlfriend." You wiggle your brows, not failing to see the hint of pink that colours Steve's cheeks.
Despite the colour in his face, Steve manages to deliver a long, unimpressed stare at you.
His eyes flick down your figure, clearly turning your words over in his head, then back up. As though he's actually realising what he's asked you to do.
He huffs another sigh, running his hand down his face. "Jesus Christ. This is an awful idea."
"Hey, it's your idea, not mine."
â
A stray blouse flies from the closet, landing in an unceremonious lump at the foot of your bed.
You toe at it gently, narrowed gaze travelling from the murky colour up toward the closet, to the perpetrator currently tearing your wardrobe apart. He doesn't even pause, hands still digging, almost resembling a dog burying a bone.
Sighing, you drop your head back, hair splaying against your pillow. The water-stain on your bedroom ceiling greets your sigh with silence.
You had thought that, while sure, yeah, the Harrington's are a fancy bunch, it ultimately wouldn't be that much of a hassle to step in as Steve's date.
You'd have to dig through your closet for the nicest thing you owned (and seldom wore) and you and Steve would concoct a ludicrous story that could be the next John Hughes film.
It would take an hour, tops.
A severe underestimation. Maybe the promise of one hugely, massive favour should've tipped you off.
"Are you being serious right now?" You moan from your place on the bed. You shift your head forward again, eyeing your best friend across the room.
Steve, still buried in your closet, makes a loud harumph in answer. His voice comes out muffled against the clothes, too swamped amongst the fabric. "âY'know, this wouldn't be so hard if you actually had anything wearable in hereâ"
You make a noise of indignation, tipping your head further forward. Your necklace shifts, the pendant sliding down the chain and hitting the comforter beneath you.
"And just what are you trying to say?"
Steve pauses for a moment, his hands halted on a pair of coat-hangers. He leans out from the clothing and lets his head loll back, his hazel eyes forming a flat stare.
"Har har." Steve says sarcastically. He turns back to the closet, the coat-hanger in his hand scraping as he pushes it along, assessing each piece with quick, attuned eyes. "I'm just saying you have a lack of clothing that my mother deems acceptable."
He turns back for a second. "Which is a good thing, by the way."
You hum in agreement, letting your head flop back onto your pillow. You've seen the pantsuits Cynthia Harrington wears.
Steve continues his barrage through your wardrobe, making a noise of disapproval every couple of seconds.
You also can't say you had expected to get started so soon; as in immediately post fake-girlfriend proposal. It occurs to you that perhaps you've said yes to something bigger than you expected.
"You're taking this really seriously." You comment.
"Yeah, well," Steve reaches in and tosses another blouse, this one pale-blue, on the bed by your feet. "I know you've met my parents before but they're, like, different when Brandon comes around."
"Different?"
"Like worse. Way, way worse." He draws a line with a flat hand. "Brandon makes them just soâ"
His hand curls up, forming a fist. He sighs, dropping it to rest on his hip. For a long moment, he stares into your wardrobe.
You push up on one elbow, brows knitting together. "Steve?"
Steve jolts lightly at your voice, torn out of his thoughts. He reaches out and plucks another blouse from your wardrobe, a maroon pleated one that you'd sworn you had thrown away. It's horrendous and definitely picked out by your mother. He turns and chucks it on the bed, crumpling atop the others and looks up at you, hands perched on his hips.
"Just, like, the smoother this dinner goes, the better, okay?"
You sit up completely, catching the seriousness leaking into Steve's voice. Damn. He actually sounds pretty worked up about the whole thing.
You smile, aiming for comfort. Even if you hadn't quite grasped what you had said yes to, Steve was still your best friend.
His parents were⊠difficult on the best of days. It was clear he was going for the least eventful, head-down approach as he could for this.
You could do that.
"Okay." You nod, more serious this time, eyeing the blouses on the end of the bed. You miss the relief that shutters across Steve's face. "We got three days til Saturday. What do you need me to do?"
"You can start," Steve says, spinning back to face your chest of drawers this time. His eyes flash over, with a hint of mirth. "By telling me if you even own a skirt that goes below your knees, you scandalous woman."
You laugh and get to your feet, wandering towards your drawers to pull open the bottom most one. Fishing around, you try to recall if you have anything church-worthy, tongue poking out your lips.
A hideous woollen skirt gifted to you for Christmas a couple years ago springs to mind. You shiver.
"Below the knee, huh?" You say. "You better start telling me about the role I'll be playing if I can't even turn up as myself."
You're only half joking. Your fingers curl around the scratchy fabric and you wrinkle your nose in recognition. Tugging it forward, it escapes the confines of your drawers and splays out with a sudden poof. You get the joy of remembering just how ugly it really is.
Twisting, you hold it up to Steve who has taken your place on your bed, laid back.
"Think this'll do?"
Steve's head perks up and he locks onto the skirt in your grasp. "Ugh, it's awful. Perfect."
You drop the skirt, abandoning it to take your place next to Steve on the bed. The springs creak slightly as your weight joins Steve's, the bed dipping and forcing you closer together. A smile sneaks onto his face.
"Okay, but for real," You jab a finger into the softness of Steve's side and he makes a little noise of complaint. "You've gotta tell me what I'm expecting for this, dude. It would be, like, catastrophically mean of you to send me in there blind."
Steve sighs â something he's really doing that a lot recently â and rolls toward you, propping his head up with one arm. The edges of his polo stretch as his bicep bulges. He frowns down at your comforter as he thinks.
"I don't know if I actually can prepare you for it." He admits, raising his gaze to look at you through his lashes. "Like, I think we're gonna have to just come up with a story and fend off the questions as best we can."
Another thought occurs to you. You frown. "Wait, don't your parents, like, know about me already?"
Steve's gaze darts away, this time staring at your comforter with a greater intensity. He gives a mirthless chuckle. "Yeah, well, that's why it'll work. They basically already ask me when we'll be getting together."
Your brows jump. A teasing grin taunts your mouth but you forsake it for a more helpful approach.
"Alright, then," You say. "Then let's do better than fending off the wolves. If I'm gonna be your fake girlfriend, I'm not gonna half-ass it. Let's knock the socks off your parents."
Steve's eyes jump up, meeting your stare and it takes another moment before he realises you're being genuine. You grin, poking him in the side again.
"And Brandon."
"Yeah?" Steve smiles. He sounds a tad awed at your dedication, his eyes roaming over your face gently. After a moment, he shakes his head, as if clearing his thoughts. "Okay. Uh, we have to come up with a backstory first."
"And it has to be one that your parents will believe too."
Steve nods, then pauses, a frown knitting together his eyebrows. "Wait, when did we get together? We can't have just started dating that'sâ like, almost as bad as showing up without a girlfriend."
You blink, perturbed. "What?"
"Oh, hey mom and dad." Steve says, his tone sardonic and flat. "Oh yeah, this is my girlfriend who I somehow started dating just one week ago, coincidentally just in time for this family dinner."
You cringe a little. He does have a point.
"Fine." You say. A little worry burrows into your brain â the longer you make your 'relationship', the more details you have to construct, to remember, and recall correctly.
You worry your bottom lip. "How long is long enough though? If it's too long, we have to remember more things."
Steve's mouth twists in thought. He gives a hmm.
"I think the last time you saw my parents was⊠sometime around New Year's Eve, right? They had that party, d'ya remember?"
You wrack your brain and find a memory with glittering fireworks and greasy hot-dogs. Steve had too much champagne and emptied his stomach into a bush. Faintly, the memory of passing by Mr and Mrs. Harrington fits in thereâ only for a moment.
"Yeah," You say.
Combing over the last years' events, you try to think if there's anything else you would've seen them at.
Graduation? You try to smooth out the wrinkles of that memory too; sunny day, sweltering gown. You hadn't remembered seeing Steve's parents there. "'Cos they didn't come to graduation, did they?"
"Nope." Steve says, popping the p. He rolls back to lie flat on your bed, folding his hands to rest on his chest. "What about after one of my basketball games? The final one of the season." He proposes, eyes tracking back to you.
You laugh without meaning to, spurred on by Steve's surprise.
"Really? At your basketball game? That's when the sparks went flying and we got together?"
Steve's mouth drops open an inch in offense. He throws his hands up. "What? That's, like, totally romantic." He defends. "Besides, it's a good reason for our friendship to have changed."
"You lost that game."
"I still scored!"
"Fine." You appease, laughing lightly. "We got together after you lost the last basketball game of the season."
Steve wrinkles his nose again. "Well, don't put it like that."
You laugh again, soft and light.
"Who asked who?"
"I asked you." Steve says.
You nod, carefully trying to commit the detail to memory. Your head spins as you try to think up the variety of different questions you might get asked at the dinner.
What sort of questions might his parents ask? Or his brother? They'll probably want to know the basics â how you got together, how it's going. You might get a shake-down to see if you're worthy of dating a Harrington.
Then, of course, there is the matter of ensuring you're a convincing couple. In love enough to be brought along to an exclusive family event.
That means⊠getting touchy. The thought sends a jolt through your stomachâ will you have to kiss?
You bury the thought. You'll cross that bridge and have it's subsequently unavoidable, awkward conversation when you get to it.
You're not sure who'll you will have more trouble convincing; Brandon or Steve's parents. But from what you know of Steve's family, you'd bet none of them know him that well.
For all you know, this could well be a walk in the park. Maybe the easiest free trip to Indianapolis ever earned.
"What's Brandon like?" You ask, trying to get a better sense of who you'll be fooling. "Do you think he'll ask many questions?"
"He'sâŠ" Steve's eyes shift from you to the ceiling, his mouth forming a flat line. "An asshole, like my dad. He's got this amazing talent for getting under my skin. Which usually includes undermining just about anything I have going for me in my life. Orâ" He gestures to you with a sigh. "âwhat I actually don't have going."
He rolls his head in your direction, his mouth twisted into a bitchy frown.
"He used to always rat on me to our parents when I was kid. He once got me in trouble for going to see Tommy just because he didn't want to walk me over. Said I disobeyed authority." Steve makes quotations with his fingers.
Your brows raise in disbelief. "Isn't he, like, fifteen years older than you?"
Steve huffs a mirthless laugh. "Yep. Told you, asshole. So, yes, he'll probably ask questions but I don't think he'll expect I'd do something as desperately pathetic as faking a girlfriend so hopefully we'll fly under his radar."
Reaching out, you whack Steve on the arm, relishing in his annoyed ow!
Eyes narrowed, you wait til he's looking at you with his what gives? face before you say, "What you're doing is not pathetic, nor is it desperate. It is an act of survival against your shitty family, okay?"
Steve stares at you for a moment before his shoulders seem to melt, the tension leaking from them. He flops his head back.
"Okay." He murmurs in agreement.
"Alright," You say. "Now, let's get this story straight. We got together at the final game of the season, which would mean we've been together for nearlyâŠ"
STEP TWO: THE ACT
Your legs itch and you fight the urge to readjust your tights for the umpteenth time.
Steve, in the driver's seat beside you, drums his hands against the steering wheel too rapidly to be casual. He keeps darting one hand to his mouth, teeth worrying at his thumbnail.
You'd reach out and smack him to get him to stop but you're beginning to feel the lurch of nerves yourself. The drive from your house to Steve's has never seemed so, so entirely too short.
"Okay, uh," Steve's throat clicks, clammed up from his silence for too long.
He hadn't spoken much when he had picked you up, other than to laugh at your joke at the mismatch of yourself and your prim outfit.
You'd ended up finding a double-breasted blazer in your mom's closet and you look almost ready to run as the local mayor. You're even wearing tights.
"We got together the 20thâ"
"âof June, last year." You finish for him.
Steve nods, his face still facing forward. His eyes look a tad unfocused, even as he reaches out to adjust the collar of his dress shirt. "Right. So we've been together for, uh, about ten months."
You nod encouragingly, checking the details in your head. "You asked me out. Our first date wasâ"
"âat The Hawk." Steve cuts in, parroting off your memorised answers. "We saw Labyrinth and, uh, then I drove you home."
That part isn't technically untrue. You and Steve had gone to see Labyrinth together back in June of last year, but it certainly hadn't been a date. You find the details lend themselves quite easily regardless.
"That's when we had our first kiss." You remind him, even if it makes your face heat minisculy. "What did you get me for Christmas?" You quiz.
"Uh," Steve's hand rabbits against the steering wheel, nerves evident. He finally breaks his stare from the road to glance at you, his brows furrowed together, eyes worried. "Fuck, I can't remember."
"It's fine," You stress, waving a hand. "You got me tickets to Billy Joel and we drove out to Indianapolis for the concert in April."
Steve nods a bit too manically, his perfectly coiffed hair coming a bit loose. The houses flashing by the window gradually get bigger, fancier. He bites his thumbnail again and this time you do reach out and tug his wrist away.
"Thanks." He murmurs.
He turns the wheel, the engine droning as the car takes the corner to enter his street. Your nerves hike a mile higher and you tug at your tights fruitlessly again. The street is lined with nice cars â not unexpected for Steve's neighbourhood.
What is unexpected is the sheer volume. You and Steve peer out the car windows, eyes wide, as you take in the full street. When you swallow, your throat feels particularly dry.
You turn to Steve. "I thought they said it was a family dinner?"
Steve, his eyes darting from car to car, either trying to find a park amongst the packed sidewalk or maybe just panicking like you are, takes a moment to meet your eyes. He looks a lovely shade of chalky white.
"They definitely did."
There's a free space down the end of Steve's street, the driveway already full with two cars, neither you can recognise.
Steve's foot hits against the brake too abruptly and the car jerks to a stop, rocking forward. You grip the edges of your seat tightly as Steve kills the engine. For a moment, neither of you make a sound.
"What if there's more than just family in there?" Steve croaks, turning slowly to face you.
The paleness in his face has pitched toward something greener. He swallows heavily, twisting back to stare out the windshield and his hands on the wheel tighten. "Oh my god, this isâ this isn't gonna to work."
"Steve."
"Valentines, we did Lover's Lake," Steve mutters to himself, eyes still out the window. "Fuck, this is so stupid."
"Steve," You try again. His own panic is worsening your own and if he continues to spiral, you fear you might never make it out of the car and you did not wear itchy tights for that to happen.
"You got me the Michael Jackson record for my birthday," He rattles off again, almost absentmindedly, as though his mind can't pick between panicking about trying to remember all the details or the apparent extra guests.
"This isâ oh my god, we're never gonna convince them."
"Steve." You say firmly. His head snaps around, broken from his mutterings. He blinks at you.
You take a deep, exaggerated breath in. Steve follows instinctively, his shoulders rising as he inhales.
"We will convince them." You insist earnestly.
Offering out your upturned hand, you wait for Steve to shift to place his bigger hand in yours. When he does, your fingers curl around it, cradling it.
You can feel the rabbit of his pulse at your fingertips and you meet his eye as you say, "We know each otherâreally well. We're best friends. We've practised, we look the part, okay? Now, all we have to do is⊠be a couple for an evening. It's going to be fine."
Steve swallows and for a moment, he doesn't say anything. Then his breath bursts out in a release of tension, his hand finally squeezing yours back. "God, what would I do without you?"
"Crash and burn, probably." You tease, thankful when unease hanging on his frame is replaced by something more familiar.
Steve makes an appalled noise, tightening his grip on your hand so you can't pull it back. His other hand moves, his fingers dancing across the ticklish skin on the inside of your arm til you shriek out in laughter, yanking your hand back.
Your laughter seems to have dimmed the nervousness a bit. You glance over your shoulder, down the street, and track an older couple dressed primly entering the Harrington home. As you turn back to Steve, you swallow to gather your nerves.
"Ready?"
Steve doesn't look like he is, his shifting, unsure eyes and stressing hands. He pushes his palms against his slacks and takes a sharp inhale, before meeting your eyes. "Ready as I'll ever be."
You count the steps up to the doorway without even meaning to, arriving at the Harrington doorstep in approximately 47 steps. The maroon double doors before you seem taller than usual. Steve raises his hand to knock and then halts, his attention shifting to his upraised hand.
He quickly tucks it back against his side, except this time with his elbow held out for you.
A faint pang of surprise in your chest, coloured with something softer, nicer. Youâve seen somewhat what Steveâs like on his dates and youâve certainly heard plenty of the aftermath. But youâve never been on one, of course.
As you loop your arm to nook in his, you find yourself unexpectedly eager to find out exactly what itâs like to be Steve Harringtonâs date.
Steve knocks on the door, then twists the knob and lets himself in.
Despite seeing the earlier guests, thereâs little to prepare you for the room full of people that stand on the other side of the door. Moving on instinct, clinging to Steveâs arm, you step through the threshold and into the lion's den.
Your nerves fry. Never mind lion's den; you feel more like a fly caught in a web. Frog boiling in a pot? No, that doesn't work because you know exactly what you were signed up to when you said yes to Steve.
Well, not precisely. You survey the crowd, counting at least three times as many people as you were expecting with nervous eyes.
Your little white lie with Steve just graduated to having an entire audience. No pressure, right?
âSteven.â
The croon of Cynthia Harrington greets the pair of you.
You feel Steve stiffen up beside you, his shoulders rolling back, his entire body straightening up. His throat bobs as he swallows nervously.
âMom,â Steve says. His voice is a bit dry and he swallows again. âYou didnât say there were going to be this many people here.â
Heâs polite enough to not word it as an accusation. His niceties donât work, bouncing off the painstakingly sculpted smile of a businesswoman.
âPlease, itâs a networking event, Iâm not sure what you expected.â She adjusts her diamond earring, swaying and heavy, as she speaks dismissively. âI told you this, Steven.â
You never hear anyone call Steve Steven other than his parents.
âNo, Mom, you didnât.â
Thereâs a barely restrained bite in his words.
That catches Cynthiaâs attention. She stops her roaming gaze to focus on her son, not even glancing at you. After a moment, she gives an exasperated huff.
âWell, why else would we be back, Steven? Your father is trying to close business with Mr. Collings.â
The sting isnât even for you â in fact, you donât even think she realises sheâs dealt it â but you feel it all the same. Steveâs arm looped with yours tightens, a minuscule motion.
Though you know he thinks theyâre all assholes, it doesnât stop Steve from hoping theyâll come back for him.
âRight.â Steve says, voice tight. âSure. Of course.â
Youâre just thinking about dragging him away from this barbed conversation, clearly pricking all his sensitive spots, when Cynthiaâs sharp gaze slides over to you.
Her eyes gleam in recognition and her posture changes.
âOh, is this the girlfriend youâve spoken of?â
This time youâre the one who stiffens up. Itâs momentary. You know that Steveâs likely freaking out too and at least one of you has to pull yourself together.
The most winning smile you can manage glides onto your face.
âThatâs me.â You squeeze Steveâs arm with your hand. It's half in genuine comfort, half in show.
Cynthia regards you for another long moment before she manages to straighten up further, as though pinched.
âOh! Yes, I recognise you. Remind me of your name, dear?â
Itâs a struggle not to grit your teeth. Steve and you have been friends for nearing ten years now.
Still, you relay it politely for her. Your smile feels a bit wooden now.
âOh, Steven. How nice.â Cynthia says, a touch of patronisation in her tone. Her beady eyes slice back to yours. âHe had such a crush on you for the longest time, itâsââ
âMom.â Steve hisses, cutting her off. Another unexpected jolt of something warm in your chest. Wait, really?
You chance a glance up at Steve. His ears are tinted pink.
Youâre not entirely sure what to make of how that makes you feel, so you shelve it for later. Maybe when youâre not being thrown to the sharks by Steveâs awful parents.
Okay, too many animal metaphors. Falling asleep to the Discovery Channel last night is definitely taking its toll.
âWeâre gonna mingle, find Dad.â Steve says hurriedly. He moves forward, past his mother, and tugs you with him. Your legs itch with the reminder of your scratchy tights.
âAlright, Steven. Make sure you say hello to your brother!â
Steve huffs, loud enough that you hear it, and you let him lead you through the throngs of middle-aged people. He stops when he reaches the kitchen, finally unwinding his arm with yours.
He does it so he can shove his hands in his hair, a stressed motion from Steve if youâve ever seen one.
âGod, okay, that went well.â He says sarcastically.
âStop. Youâre ruining your hair.â You reach up and rescue his lochs from his harsh grip, fingers around his wrists to tug his hands away. Youâre far too aware of how long it had taken him to do.
Steve lets you. When you focus on his face, you notice the pink from his ears is also on his cheeks.
The question jumps off your tongue, unbidden.
âWas she telling the truth? About⊠the crush? Or was she just trying to tease you?â
The pink dips closer to scarlet. Steve sighs, his eyes closing for a moment.
âIâ she- yes,â He admits. Your heart shudders at the revelation. Steveâs eyes open and he twists his hands so he can hold yours in them. âBut, like, not now. In the past. Years ago, I promise.â
For his sake, you do your best not to take it too seriously. Even if you wanted to pry, now is not the time nor the place to do so.
However, you canât resist a small, teasing grin. Steve catches it and his embarrassment gives way to exasperation instantly.
âYou likeeed me,â You say in a sing-song voice.
Teasing is not unfamiliar in your friendship with Steve and getting to joke around, even at this strange party, feels nicer. Steve groans dramatically, his eyes closing and his hands pushing against your hands to shove you away.
A new voice interrupts.
âLiked? I sure hope he likes you now, being his girlfriend and all.â
You and Steve both snap out of your easy joking, remembering that youâre supposed to be presenting as a couple. Head turning to who had spoken, it only takes a couple of seconds for you to place who it is.
He looks a little bit like Steve, but not really.
The eyes are different, not as slanted and he hasnât got any of Steveâs beautiful moles. But the nose, the mouth, put together with matching brown hair and tan skin, you know who this is without having to ask.
âBrandon.â Steve says. The name is stilted in his mouth.
Brandon smirks, his same hazel coloured eyes dragging a long, scathing once-over of his younger brother. He doesnât look impressed, if his disinterested expression is anything to go by.
Then he does the same to you.
Itâs almost tangible, the prickly feeling of his gaze raked over your body. Searching, hunting, nearly making you want to perk up to gain his approval.
God, Steve was right on the money. This guy is like his father but worse.
âThe eye-candy of the month, huh?â He says to you, chuckling as if heâs made a joke.
You consider, then make the decision to throw all pleasantries out the window. You donât smile back.
âActually, Steve and I will be coming up on one year soon.â
Tangling your hands back together as you say it, you lean into Steveâs side. Itâs warm, smells of his cologne. Only when you gaze up at him, do you let a smile grace your lips. Itâs soft and genuine.
Steve smiles back down at you, crooked and lovely.
âIâm surprised anyone could settle him down,â Brandon continues and you turn back to him, fighting the urge to narrow your eyes. It doesnât escape you how heâs jumped from one slight dig to the next.
Heâs clever with it. Polite enough that Steve canât exactly bring it up as an issue.
Brandon continues, swirling his crystal tumbler of whiskey idly. âSurprised he wanted to. Little bro always seemed like such a womanizer. Didnât think heâd want just one chick.â
He leans in and socks Steve on the shoulder, hard, when he says the word womanizer. Heâs grinning.
You have to admit, Brandonâs far too good at this â good at getting under your skin. If you hadnât been forewarned of his behaviour, if you actually were Steveâs girlfriend, it would certainly rub you the wrong way. Heâs certainly doing his best to sprinkle grit and strife between you two.
And you know it hurts Steve to hear â Sure, maybe when he was a thick-headed freshman, with no clue about the world, he had acted that way.
Nowadays... Anyone who knows Steve, even a little bit, knows he wants the real deal, more than anything.
âNot anymore,â Steve says, though itâs not nearly as confident as he usually is. He clears his throat and casts his gaze around. âWhereâs Ariel?â
âAh,â Brandon hums, looking around himself. He takes a long sip of his whiskey. âNot sure. I think I left her in conversation with the Ericksonâs from across the street. Sheâs been pleading with her eyes to be saved but hey, sheâs gotta learn sometime, right?â
Your lip curls up in distaste before you remember yourself. Fingers intertwined with Steveâs, you clutch them tighter for some semblance of strength.
Youâve got to get the two of you out of here before you start outright sneering at this man â which is very much not the heads-down approach Steve had asked for.
âBabe,â you say, effectively dismissing Brandonâs comment as you look up at Steve. He looks down at you and squeezes your hand. âCan we grab a drink, please? Iâm feeling thirsty.â
Steve murmurs his affirmation and you both turn back to Brandon to bid a polite goodbye. His left eye twitches just once, the only indication that heâs put off by your subtle rejection.
âWell,â Brandon fixes his features, his smirk sliding back into place. âDonât let me keep you. What was your name again, sweetheart?â
âI didnât say.â You say, forcing the politest, more nonchalant expression on your face. You let him stew in the awkwardness, waiting for him to break and ask.
He doesn't. Brandon just smiles, though this time it doesnât quite reach his eyes. He holds out his hand and despite how you donât want to, you place your own in it to shake it.
âWell, itâs been real nice getting to meet you. I hope Iâll see more of you later tonight.â He smiles like a promise. His grip tightens in the handshake.
You grip his hand tighter, matching his strength, and for the first time in the whole conversation, you match his perfectly fake smile.
âNot if I see you first,â You say, spoken pleasantly enough that the meaning of your words doesnât sink in until youâve pulled back. You urge Steve somewhere, anywhere thatâs not here.
âCâmon, letâs get that drink.â
Thereâs a punch-bowl out in the living room, thankfully. Displayed next to it is a large jell-o mould, arsenic green, and jiggling gently whenever someone bumps the table. Rich people stuff, you assume.
You eye it curiously as Steve quietly ladles a cup for you, then himself.
The punch is pineapple flavoured but peachy in colour. You sniff the cup Steve gives you hesitantly before you take a small sip. Itâs nice. Mostly juice.
You peer up at Steve over the next sip and the cup hides your near hiccup of surprise when his hand slides along your waist. His hand, warm and large, settles on the small on your back and urges you closer.
âThat wasâ wait, this is okay, right?â He pulls his hand back an inch, hovering over your waist. You nod without having to think about it.
âOkay,â He sighs in relief, resting it back down. His thumb moves, soothing along the fabric almost absentmindedly.
He grins at you, âThat was, like, amazing to watch. The whole ânot if I see you firstâ just, god, his face. Amazing.â His hand on your waist squeezes lightly. âYouâre amazing. I didnât know you could be so snobby.â
He says the last word slightly too loud and you laugh, worriedly stealing a glance around the room. No oneâs paying you much mind. You do notice, however, that Brandonâs meandered into the living room now.
You sidle closer, tucking up under Steveâs arm.
Surprise touches Steve's features; his brows raising a bit, lips parting, and cheeks colouring that ruby colour once more.
Itâs as if, despite all your previous agreements, heâs forgotten that youâre supposed to be acting like a couple.
As if heâs forgotten that couples act like this. In love, that is.
âAre you finding this weird?â He murmurs, volume control on this time. Itâs said just to you, muffled into your hairline.
From afar, you think it might look like heâs kissing your forehead.
You take another sip of the punch, peering at his dress shirt, and consider his question. Itâs not weird, per se. You tell him as much.
âI think itâs just new,â You look up at him â closer than you usually ever see him. His lashes are long and spidery. His hazel eyes are lighter under the lights. âJust different to what weâre used to. Itâs⊠nice, I think.â
âYou think?â
You expect Steve to tease you for your own unexpected soft answer but instead, his response comes out with a strange reverence.
If you had to pick a word, something traitorous would maybe call it hopeful. Wait, traitorous? Wait, hopeful?
"Yeah," You shrug a little, no big deal. "I mean it's not that much different from how we already are, right? Just a little more..."
Steve's thumb swatches along your back, more intentionally this time.
"Touchy?" He provides.
You nod and pretend the strange acknowledgement isn't making you feel a tad more flustered.
The touchiness is really quite nice. Itâs sweet to have an anchor in this freaky social situation, very much unlike the aforementioned and abandoned Ariel. Steveâs hand on you is a grounding touch, a constant soft reminder of the person who has your backâliterally.
And the person is Steve â which, again, isnât really that different from what youâre used to. He sorta always has your back anyway.
You suppose it hasn't really crossed your mind before, not in depth at least, the small changes that would occur if you and Steve really did date.
How different would it really be?
Chin tilting up, you slyly steal a look at him as Steve scans the party. He's probably planning escape routes, jaw clenched subtly. He's clean-shaven, not a whisper of that stubble that you think suits him rather well.
Would you still be friends, if the two of you dated?
The question feels silly the moment you think it, even if it's only spoken in your mind. You wrinkle your nose lightly and hide it behind another sip of punch. There's an easy answer to that.
Of course you would. It's like you just said: not that different from how you are now. Same teasing dynamic, same loyal history, same sharing embarrassing secrets and same driving around doing nothing, loving it.
Just more. More of this.
Steve squeezes your side warmly, his head twisted to look back down at you. He's asked you a question you realise.
"Hm?"
"I was asking how long do you think it's acceptable to wait to fake a heart-attack to get us out of here?â
Amusement draws your eyebrows up. You grin up at Steve. "A heart-attack? At your youthful, healthy age? C'mon, Steve, they'll never believe it."
Steve's expression twitches closer to bitchy as he considers your rebuttal. You take another sip of punch. He relents.
"Fine. What else? Iâm not above faking haemorrhoids.â
The punch in your mouth comes back out in a surprised splutter, thankfully landing mostly back in your cup. A drop of it streaks down your chin.
Your surprise quickly morphs into a glare, eyes shifting up to deliver it to your best friend.
The shit-eating grin on Steveâs face tells you that his timing was not accidental.
âYouâre unbelievable,â You hiss because what happened to the polite, head down, and not eventful approach that Steve had all but pleaded from you?
He reaches for a napkin for you without asking â and then tugs you in closer with the hand around your waist, brings the napkin up to your face. He hovers, giving you a moment to realise what heâs doing, before he dotingly swipes away the streak of juice.
âCareful now, honey,â He says, giving the petname a teasing intonation.
How he managed to pick the petname that does actually make your heart perk up in your chest is beyond you. Maybe he knows you better than you think.
âOh, thatâs how itâs gonna be?â You ask, brows raised, pretending to be annoyed. Your bitten-back grin gives you away. âMaking me spit my punch and then just sprinkling in a petnameââ
ââlike you didnât do that first, with Brandon in the kitchen.â Steve interjects. He crumples the napkin and drops it back on the table.
âOkay," You say. "Fair."
"We forgot to discuss that, actually," Steve says. He sounds casual but he looks away, studying the punchbowl rather intently. "What... like, do you like to be called? In a relationship?"
It is an oversight both of you managed to miss, which makes you feel a little foolish now. You focus on the question.
"I like honey," You admit gingerly. A tepid smile threatens at your lips and when you look up at Steve, he's already turned back to watch you closely. "It's a bit old-fashioned. Sounds more like something you say if you're married but...I think it's nice."
"Yeah," Steve says softly. "Me too."
Something hums brightly in your chest at his gentle expression, his fondness zeroed in only on you. You break his gaze to swallow, your mouth suddenly dry.
"What about you?"
Steve chuckles. "Don't like babe."
"Too late."
âYeah, well, obviously.â
Thereâs a beat and you think if youâve ever had this conversation before. Sweetened preferences didnât usually make it into your gossip sessions. This is new territory.
âI like sweetheart too,â Steve says, somewhat offbeat. As if heâd thought for too long if heâd say it or not.
He peers down at you, a scrunch in his nose. âNot like Brandon says it though. He mightâve ruined that one for me.â
âHe can ruin this dinner, but not that.â You decide for him. âCâmon, sweetheart. We look like weâre stealing all the punch.â
Using your hand in his, you lead him away from the punch table and weave through the people milling about the living room. A touch of resistance makes you glance back. You can see a pink glow painted on Steveâs cheeks.
Your feet come to a halt, twisting back to properly face him. You canât resist the urge to tease. âOho, you werenât kidding- you do like that one.â
âOh, shut up,â Steve murmurs, his tongue pressed into his cheek and his eyes narrowed.
âI donât believe I raised you so poorly as to address a lady like that, Steven.â
You jump at the intrusion, realising youâd unluckily managed to stop right beside Mr. Harrington. Fuck, why are all of Steveâs family so good at sneaking up on you? You chalk it up to their snakeish tendencies.
âDad.â Steve says hurriedly. Then, with a quick swallow, he corrects himself. âIâm sorry, sir.â
Mr. Harrington is not what youâd call an impressive man. Sure, his suit is tailored to fit and you have no doubt his overwhelming cologne costs more than three paychecks combined â but in substance? He lacks. Severely.
Youâve met him thrice.
Every time, you wonder how someone as wonderful as Steve, can come from someone like him.
Though, it certainly explains the god-awful âKing Steveâ phase Steve had gone through in his freshman and sophomore year. You shiver at the memory.
âIt was warranted, Mr. Harrington, believe me,â You jump in to move the attention of Steveâs father back to you, easily shouldering the blame. A smile, cool and collected, graces your face. âI was teasing him, after all.â
Mr. Harrington grunts in disagreement. âHardly an excuse to speak so crudely, especially in front of guests.â
Opening your mouth to defend him again, Steve speaks first. âYouâre right, sir. I apologise, it wonât happen again.â
Steve still shoots you a thankful glance. You clamp down your half-formed response and squeeze his hand instead. He squeezes back.
Maybe the two of you shouldâve learned morse-code with all the squeezing youâre both doing. You hadnât anticipated holding his hand for this long.
You could let go. You donât really want to â and youâre pretty sure, neither does Steve.
You canât remember the last time you held his hand.
âYour new girlfriend, I presume?â Mr. Harrington nods to you.
Steve barely gets a moment to respond when his father is waving him forward, stepping back to open a circle of middle-aged men behind him.
âCome, thereâs a few associates Iâd like you to meet, Steven.â
Thereâs no question, only a demand. Despite how it feels like stepping into a pit of vipers â damn you, Discovery Channel â you and Steve join the circle.
âGentlemen,â Mr. Harrington addresses the four men before you, a wry smile on his face. âMy son, Steven.â
Then, as an afterthought, with a glance your way. âAnd his girlfriend.â
âOh? Not fianceĂ©?â One of the men speaks up. Heâs balding, his hair combed over in an attempt to cover his ruddy coloured scalp.
âIâm afraid youâre thinking of my other son, Brandon.â Mr. Harrington says, words suddenly imbued with a proud tone. Steveâs hand grows rigid in yours, though you donât think heâs even noticed. You send a squeeze back.
A different man speaks up. This man has all his hair, but also has a pot-belly that threatens to send buttons on his dress shirt flying.
âAh, well, fianceĂ© to be, I bet.â He says, speaking directly to Steve and ignoring you. âSoon itâll be the olâ ball and chain. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, son.â
Then the fucker winks at youâas if youâre in on some big joke. A deep, miserable pity dawns in you for their wives.
âActually,â Steve begins. Thereâs an edge in his voice.
You glance up at him concernedly â sure, these guys are douchebags, but you know that. Throwing in the polite and heads-down approach in front of his father might be the worst timing ever.
âIâm not sure what you mean.â Steve says. The bite in his voice has receded and instead, he sounds calm. Polite. âMy girlfriend is one of the best things in my life. Sheâs smart, talented, beautifulâ and why she chooses to waste her time with me is a mystery to me.â
He speaks as though he believes every word heâs saying, a hundred percent. You realise youâre holding your breath when Steve turns to look down at you. His hazel eyes are soft, genuine.
âShe makes me a better person. Sheâs⊠Sheâs my best friend.â
The line between your genuine friendship and this fake concocted act blurs entirely â and suddenly, you canât tell what is real and what is not.
Worse, youâre not sure which you'd prefer more.
Does he really think all those things about you?
Steve, who should probably, definitely take up an acting gig after this, plants a quick, nimble kiss on your forehead to sell his loving words.
He turns back to his fatherâs business friends.
âBelieve me, if I ever get so lucky as to marry her, Iâd be the ball and chain.â He chuckles. âNot the other way around.â
Youâre still holding your breath, heart stuck somewhere halfway up your throat. The businessmen before you show varying amounts of surprise and annoyanceânone more of the latter than Mr. Harrington himself.
It doesnât matter. Steveâs said it all in that perfectly polite way thatâs so often been used against him. Something within you glows hotly with pride.
âNow, gentlemen, if youâll excuse us,â Steve says politely. He drops your hand to re-link your arms once more, then nods to them. âI need to reapply my haemorrhoid cream.â
Youâre pretty sure Steve turns you both away from the conversation as fast as he does, knowing that youâre gonna laugh. You do, his last sentence so unexpected it turns your laugh into this foul half hacking, half coughing noise.
Steve pats your back, expecting it, raising his voice as he walks you forward, âThere, there.â
Thereâs a little smugness in his tone. You wait until you pass back into the front hall â now Cynthia Harrington free â to unlink your arms and smack him on the chest.
âAsshole!â You exclaim, but youâre already laughing. Steveâs laughing too, the sound bright and honeyed amongst the dull murmur of the event. God, the looks on their faces.
âI didnât think you would actually do that.â
âHey, it got us out of the conversation, didnât it?â
âYes, but,â You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, gaze falling from his for a moment. âI mean, wonât your dadâŠ?â
Steve sighs and then shrugs. âI think Iâm done trying to impress people like that. If youâre not up to standard to them, why the hell would I care about their opinion of me?â
Your heart feels a little wobbly at that. Steve has always been devastatingly earnest; itâs just less often directed at you. The two of you are used to teasing.
You fall back on it. âAwww,â You coo, gripping his forearms and leaning forward with a coy grin. âYou got haemorrhoids for me, honey? Thatâs so romantic.â
Steve narrows his eyes, trying and failing to suppress his own smile.
âHey. Fake haemorrhoids, thank you very much.â
âEh, whatâs the big difference?â
âOne is my bleeding heart, the other is my bleeding ass, is the big difference.â
He can barely get through the sentence before his laugh takes over. You dissolve into laughter too, cheeks beginning to ache with the force of your grin.
âSteve? Leaving so soon?â
The sweet bubble of laughter around you and Steve pops at the sound of Brandonâs voice. Heâs in the doorway that leads to the kitchen and at your attention, he steps toward you, slow and deliberate.
âYeah, actually,â Steve says. His eyes track Brandon with every calculated step his brother makes til he stops, a few metres from you both.
âYâknow, I heard that hasty exit in front of dad. Did you know that was in front of Mr. Collings? Yâknow, the one guy dadâs trying to close a deal with?â
Shit. You swallow heavily. You didnât know that. You know neither did Steve.
Beside you, Steve grows tense. When he swallows, you hear his throat click from dryness.
Brandon watches and revels in the tiny reactions, his smirk growing. He tucks his hands into his suit pockets casually.
âI talked with mom, too. Learned some interesting stuff, especially about your pretty lady here.â
He nods to you, hazel eyes slicing across to meet yours. Your nerves start to stand on end, something threatening in his calm demeanour setting you off. You grip Steveâs forearms tighter.
âThat she is the best friend youâve been mooning over all these years. And I just thoughtââ Brandon clicks his tongue. âMan, what are the chances that we donât hear a thing about you two getting together until this conference? Crazy timing, if you ask me.â
He tilts his head to the side, examining the two of you closely. His smug nature is far, far too much like that of a predator toying with its prey.
âItâs like- wait, noââ
Brandon cuts himself out, fishing a hand out his pocket to gesture to you, grinning smugly like something is funny.
âIs he paying you?â
You recoil back, so baffled and taken aback by the cruel mockery Brandon jumps to make of his younger brother. To make of your best friend.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you?â You snap.
Brandon blinks, surprised, and a bit of his smugness dries up. He draws his hand back, holding it up defensively.
âC'mon, like it's not just the kind of pathetic move heâd pull. I havenât even seen the two of you kiss.â
He chuckles as if the idea is ludicrous.
STEP THREE: THE KISS
You act without thinking â turning back to Steve, your hands reach up to tightly grasp the collar of his dress shirt.
You see Steveâs hazel eyes widen ever-slightly, then youâre pulling him down, pressing up on your toes, and kissing him.
And⊠oh.
Heâs not half bad at that, you think. It takes Steve a moment, but then his arms circle your waist and after a tentative moment, he kisses back gently, deepening the kiss. Not bad at this at all.
For one brief, precious second, youâre kissing your best friend.
And it's entirely incomparable to any kiss you've experienced beforeâimmeasurable in passion and utterly undoing in a thousand ways.
Steve breathes a little heavier, his cheeks flushed, when you break away. You sink back down off your tiptoes, hands dragging off Steveâs rumpled collar to rest on his chest. You turn to face Brandon.
He doesnât look so smug anymore. He looks ticked off. Good.
âBrandon, youâre an asshole.â You state plainly. âI hope one day, soon, your fiancĂ©e realises what a cruel and shallow bully you really are. And I hope she leaves you for it. Truly.â
The ticked off expression on Brandon's face veers closer to aghast and offendedâas if he canât believe you have the gall to speak to him that way.
âI hope you realise what a stain you are on other peopleâs life and I sincerely hope that I never have the displeasure of meeting you again.â
Moving to grip Steveâs hand in yours, you move towards the door without a goodbye.
STEP FOUR: THE AFTERMATH
Itâs bright outside. Stepping out feels a bit like waking from a stress dream, where in reality, the sun is shining and things that were driving you nuts aren't really problems you actually have.
You stall on the front doorstep, where you were just an hour or so ago.
Well, that didnât go⊠awfully, you think. In fact, youâre feeling quite happy with serving Brandon a perfect brand of his own medicine.
Youâre about to open your mouth and say as much when Steve drops your hand, brushing past you to head down the stairs, âCâmon, letâs go.â
Your stomach drops at the tone of his voice, a prickly disappointment draped over his words. Youâd think youâre reading into it â if Steve wasnât currently heading for the car, not even waiting for you to catch up. A dead giveaway.
Tights itching from the hasty movement, you quickly follow him and puzzle for a moment. Heâs mad. But at what? It takes only a moment to hazard a pretty good guess.
Before the dinner, the awkward conversation of how touchy you two would be had been breached. You and Steve both agreed; no kissing. Even with how close the two of you were, it felt like strange territory to cross into. An unspoken line not to cross.
By kissing him, youâd broken that rule.
Guilt wells up within you. Your moment of telling Brandon to suck it suddenly feels tainted by the sliminess of kissing Steve without permission. You pull at your tights uncomfortably, trailing behind Steve on the sidewalk.
As you reach his car, you swallow the lump in your throat, and speak up.
âI'm sorry, okay?"
Steve, who's reached the driver's side door, looks up and over the top of the car. Then furrows his brow.
"What?"
"For..." The word gets stuck in your throat like wet paper. "Kissing you when we said we wouldn't do that. That was-" You inhale sharply and study the trim along the edge of the car window.
"I just really couldn't stand how he was talking to you. And I thought that would shut him up."
You glimpse back up at Steve. He's softened a little at your words, the crease between his brows gone now. His eyes dart away, a muscle in his jaw working tightly.
"Yeah, well, you were right. It worked."
Steve seems to hear how short his words sound right after he says them, especially as you rear back an inch. He gives a sigh, his eyes falling shut for a moment. "Look, I'm not mad about the kiss, okay?"
His particular wording isn't lost on you.
"But you are mad." You press.
"I'm not."
You step closer to the car, desperate to understand. He is mad but he's not mad about the kiss? Does that mean he is or isn't mad at you?
"You sound mad."
Steve makes a sputtering noise, like he's torn between denying it or not. You catch it, pressing your hands against the car window to lean in even closer.
"So, you are mad. At me? Are you sure it's not because of the kiss?"
âYes. No." He's furrowing his brow again, confused between how to answer your question correctly. He pinches the bridge of his nose with another sigh. "Itâs- no, I'm not mad at you.â
Still not an exact answer. You eye him warily, your guilt still lingering at the front of your chest, aching painfully. It forces out your next words, reminiscent of a rambling apology. You take a step back from the car and begin to pace.
"It's okay if it is the kiss, Steve. I- I mean, we said we wouldn't and I broke that- and I don't want you to ever feel likeâ"
âI justâ I didnât want our first kiss to be like that!â
That halts your pacing, feet quite suddenly rooted to the spot. You turn rapidly back to Steve, your eyes wider than they were a moment ago, heart jammed back up your throat. Did he just say...?
Steve realises what's escaped him a moment after you do. His hand leaps to cover his mouth as if he can smother the secret he's just let slip.
His eyes crush closed. He smushes his hand against his face more forcefully as though he's trying to push the words back into his mouth.
"What does that mean?" You ask softly. "Steve?"
He clears his throat, dragging the hand down and off his face sluggishly. "That, ah, no- nothing!" He deflects, hands making a crossing motion. "It meansâzilch. I just, ah, you know- it'sâ"
He's thought about it beforeâabout how he'd want a first kiss between the two of you to go.
A glow in you dissolves, the saturated sweetness of it riding through your veins like a sugar rush. You have a sudden wish you weren't wearing such a ghastly outfit for this conversation.
"Steve," You interrupt him. You round the front of the car slowly, stopping with still some distance between you. Let him meet you in the middle. If you're right about all this, that is.
"If there's even a small part of you that wants to do that again," Your breath shudders at your inhale. "You need to tell me."
"A small part?" Steve echoes your words, his tone incredulous. He rounds the car to meet you, his hands out in front of him, flexing into fists. "Don'tâ don't say what I think you're going to say, if you don't mean it."
He pauses in front of you, eyes blazing with a fierce emotion as he stares down at you. He studies your face and then groans, tipping his head back and burying his hands in his hair.
"It's a big part, y/n. A huge fucking part of me wants to kiss you again and has wanted to for awhile." Steve stresses. His hands sag down from his mussed hair to hang off his neck before he gestures back to the Harrington house.
"What I said in there? About my crush on you being ages ago? I lied. I've had a crush on you for years and I don't think I ever stopped and so if you donât mean what I think you mean, please donât⊠Donât give me hope.â
There's desperation in his final plea.
A thousand emotions course through you, all competing for your attention. You squint incredulously at Steve, half tempted to sock him for the feeling of a kept-secret. You're best friends for gods sake. Years. Years, he said.
A tremble takes your heart. You open your mouth and try to find the right words.
"Wha... You never said anything."
It comes out a little insulted.
Steve stares at you, flabbergasted. "You never seemed interested!"
"I didn't think I was your type!"
Though it seems impossible, Steve's eyes widen further, his hands shifting to hold out before him, fingers spread wide.
"Are you saying you've thought about it before!?"
"No!" You exclaim, suddenly stressed. You run your hands across your face agitatedly. "I mean, yes. Of course, I've thought about it before!â
Your fingers splay against your cheeks, pulling an expression not unlike the painting The Scream. You're not sure you've ever been this stressed, this undone before.
âEvery day through fuckin' high school someone asked me if we were a thing. I just... hadn't, like, considered it til today. Properly."
"Okay, okay," Steve breathes in deeply.
He brings his hands together, clasping them, and he rests them against his forehead. For a second, he stares at the ground before he meets your gaze, dropping his hands.
"And... now?"
Fuck. Right. Cards on the table, you guess.
"Like," You don't know where to put your hands now. They drop off your face and hang loosely at your side. "I told you, I hadn't really, like, thought about it â but we were in there and it just wasn't that different!"
It's a heavy effort to keep yourself looking at Steve. There's no decoding the expression on his face, not when you're already frantically trying to unscramble your own feelings.
"If we did actually, yannoâ" You stumble over the words, a fierce and bumbling heat flaming your face. "âdate and beâI don't knowâboyfriend and girlfriend, like, I guess what would actually change? And now I think we've just been one step removed from dating this whole time!"
Steve takes an almost quivering breath in and takes a step forward, bringing you both closer. He asks the million-dollar question.
"Would you... want that?"
"I," You flex your hands anxiously. "I don't think we can go back to the way things were." You say truthfully.
Something crestfallen ripples across Steve's face. It's hidden away in the next second. You gulp involuntarily. You feel so nervous you can feel it's fizzing inside you, bubbling like a freshly carbonated drink.
But more than that, it feels like you're balancing on the precipice of something good. Like waiting for news on whether you get something you desperately want.
And there it is; the true revelation.
"And I don't think I want to."
The admittance hangs between you, strung out and tinged with your apprehension and Steve's disbelief. He stares at you, brown hair tousled and messy, pink lips parted in his surprise.
He's your best friend and he's been waiting all this time. Holding the torch quietly, the flame flickering low sometimes, but always burning, always for you.
How the hell did you miss it?
"You..." He croaks. He reaches up and tugs at his tie as if it's suddenly too tight around his neck. "You mean that? You'd want to, like, date me?"
What you really want is to kiss him again. To chase away the tender look of disbelief in his eyes with a passionate press of your mouth against his. But you won't kiss him without asking twice in one day.
"I would like to try," You say. It takes a lot of courage to not lose your nerve. You rock up onto the balls of your feet to let out some of the rampant nervous energy.
Steve clocks it, some part of his brain that knows you, and all your tells well, finally coming back online. You're as nervous as he is, and maybe just as unsure.
But you want to try.
That's about all Steve's ever wanted. A chance for more between you.
He closes the distance between you, his hands shifting up and sliding along your neck to cup your jaw. It's ticklish enough to make you shiver and Steve smiles at the motion. He draws your faces closer and you push up on your toes to reach properly, magnetically drawn in.
He pauses just before your lips can touch.
Your eyes scan his face and he does the same to yours, both of you drinking in the intimate closeness. This close, you can see the tiny quiver hidden in his lips.
Fondness percolates between you, sweeter than sunlight and softer than a daydream. You can't resist the smile that toys at your mouth. Steve smiles too.
You're excited.
His pupils are blown wider than usual, only a ring of hazel around them. It might be your new favourite colour.
"I imagined," Steve murmurs lowly, his eyes now trained on your lips. "Our first kiss would be more like this."
The kiss is different from the one in the hallway. There's no surprise in it, no hesitance â Steve cradles your face between his hands preciously and kisses you so fiercely you ache.
He kisses with painstaking reverence. With an unfaltering adoration. Steve kisses you as though he envies anything that's ever touched your lips.
You grapple to find purchase on his suit jacket, your fingers curling around the material and pulling him closer without breaking the kiss. Steve hums into your mouth, his nose pressing against yours. You're both trying to pull each other closer.
"That was-" You breath heavily against his mouth as the kiss breaks. Your eyes open. Steve's gazing at you through his lashes, honey-eyes doting.
"You-" You try again, realising you haven't finished your sentence. You can barely get a word out, a relentless grin overtaking your lips. "I meanâyou thought it- like that?"
"I hoped." Steve whispers. He's grinning too, not yielding any of the nearness between you. His thumbs on your jaw swatch softly across your skin.
God, he'll undo you entirely. This newness, this intimacy, it's ruining you. You capture your bottom lip with your teeth and bite it meanly to try to contain your grin.
"So, like, you wanna try? For real?" You say, matching his whisper. Speaking too loud feels like it breaks the momentâand you want to savour it as long as you can.
You can't even imagine how Steve must be feeling, waiting all those years. You take your feelings and multiple them tenfold. It's dizzying. It only endears you even more.
"Like, being boyfriend girlfriend?"
Steve's eyes crinkle in happiness as he scrunches them closed for a moment. His nose scrunches a little too at the motion. He takes a deep inhale and opens his eyes.
"Dating, boyfriend girlfriend, sweethearts, I don't care what you call it." He breathes. "Yes. Yes, to all of it."
Then he kisses you again, stealing the affection off your lips with an ardour that threatens to make your knees weak.
You kiss and kiss until you and Steve are both smiling too much to properly continue.
Only a couple days ago he'd asked the same question you had asked him, except as a begged request to help his ruse. He's the only one you'd have said yes to, you know now, the only exception.
One can only wonder how the two of you would have carried on if you had said no â never gone along with his frankly ridiculous plan, never showed up on his arm to fool an event full of people, never kissed him just to piss off his brother.
Never known the true depths of affection Steve held for you.
As you crowd in closer â your lips skimming across his gently, hearing the hitch in Steve's breath before you kiss him once moreâ you're thankful you'll never really know.

taggin some peeps below! @illyrianbitch @headkiss @brettsgoldstein @spideystevie @djotime
@katsu28 @inthehystericalrealm @djarinova @cheugyphobe @sunshinesteviee
@sunlitide @citrinesparkles @bigfrogs
just ppl that either expressed interest in the preview or i thought would enjoy! <3 i don't know what possessed me to pick this draft up and straight up like double the word count and finish it in one day but whew,,, i enjoyed that sm
#if u think this has nick & jess energy from new girl you would be correct; i took insp from their first kiss hehe#heavy inspo tehe#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve x reader#steve harrington fluff#steve fluff#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fanfiction#best friends to lovers#fake dating#getting together#ruby writes steve#I HAD SO MUCH FUN I HOPE IT DOESNT FLOP#also yessss i did reuse a line from a different fic in this one no one point it out pleek
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i feel like people forget that sometimes characters in fic are written like that because it's a reflection of real life.
people have sex without setting boundaries. people have unprotected sex without talking about their sexual histories or producing recent sti tests. people play with kink without discussing it ahead of time or establishing a safeword. they have anal without 'enough' prep or lubeâthey may even prefer it like that.
and none of this is really a fantasy. it's all pretty normal. you can feel that it's inappropriately normalised, and you'd probably be right! but it is normalised: one study found that 58% of female undergraduate students on the campus studied had been choked during sex. 20% of those students said that they'd never been asked if it was ok; another 30% said they'd only sometimes been asked if they consented. fully half! (non-paywalled journal article on choking during sex here, including these numbers.) despite a rise in stis of all sorts, condom use is declining. (pdf link to the full text of this study about declining condom use in the us; aidsmap article about an australian study with similar results.)
even when people do talk about thingsâsex or anything elseâthey communicate imperfectly. 'yeah, but don't go too far' is consenting and setting a boundary, and also relying that the person you're talking to has the same metric for 'too far' that you do. for some people, 'the trash needs to go out' is a neutral, factual observation; for others, it's a request that the person they're speaking to take out the trash.
even when people understand each other perfectly, people react unpredictably to things sometimes! we behave irrationally! people laugh uncontrollably at funerals, or get angry at the straw that broke their back rather than the enormous load they were already carrying. they get scared and lash out at people trying to help them. when hurt, most people do not instinctively reach for therapy-approved grounding exercises and 'i feel' statements.
pretty much any bad choice that characters could conceivably make is a choice that people make in real life, on purpose, all the time. people do things that can have catastrophic, life-changing effects because it felt like a good idea at the time, or they're leaning into the vibe, or they just didn't think about it all that much, or an infinite number of other reasons.
fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible ways to live your life, and fanfic isn't any different. it's not a narrative flaw to let characters do things that are messy or harmful or downright stupidâit's a reflection of what people are actually like, and not something that authors should feel they have to apologise for.
#fandom#fanfic#writing sex#writing#writing advice#i guess#i know no one is going to read this#but it just bums me the fuck out#people are messy and imperfect#it's part of what makes us interesting and fun tho#characters should be allowed to be messy and imperfect to#echoes linger
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HEY THERE SUGAR BABY!
|| pedro masterlist || update blog || inbox || taglist || ao3 ||
àłââ· PAIR: Harry Castillo x fem!reader
àłââ· WC: 10k
àłââ· CONTAINS: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, smoking, drinking, boss/employee relationship, reader is a personal/executive assistant, very much a work husband/work wife dynamic, inescapable sugar daddy tendencies, no actual sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship despite how the title and previous tag makes it sound lmao, harry castillo is a cool boss, romcom tropes cause iâm feeling romantic, slow dancing, first kiss, heavy petting in a limo, oral sex (fem!receiving), multiple orgasms, p in v, porn with way too much fucking plot, no use of y/n.
àłââ· NATâS NOTE: i usually donât like to write for a new character before iâve watched the movie but you dangle the idea of a hot billionaire work romance in my face and expect me not to bite at it? iâm just not that strong. also i have zero idea what his actual job in the movie is, i think itâs a basic ass finance bro wall street type job and that bores the hell out of me so heâs an architect because i said so. he's my barbie i can make him do what i want! this whole thing was mainly an excuse to write about my satc, carrie and big vibe slash fantasy but way less toxic. hope yâall love it, mwah!
àłââ· NATâS HEADPHONES: MATERIAL GIRL - Phlotilla
dividers by angel @saradika-graphics!
an architect and his assistant walk into a galaâŠ
Youâve been working with Harry Castillo for four years, two months, and thirteen days.
You know this because his calendar starts and ends with you.
Your nameâs not embossed on the front of the seventy story building sitting pretty on 57th street, not splashed across the cover of Architectural Digest, not signed neatly at the bottom of those pristine renderings that get passed around in glass boardrooms and land multi-million dollar deals.
But you know the build order of every project in the past five fiscal years. You know which of the project managers canât be trusted with deadlines, which board members need their egos stroked, and every single name attached to each of the contracts spanning across five continents.
You were three years out of school and six months into a soul sucking accounting job that felt more like glorified coffee-fetching with a minor in emotional labor when Harry called.Â
Wellâtechnically, his HR director called, but Harry noticed you, or noticed your resume stacked with respectable internships and juicy recommendation letters. Or maybe it was the fact that during your third round interview, you corrected one of his junior partners on a misquoted quarterly budget breakdown.
Either way, two weeks later you were standing in a glass top floor office owned by one of the most powerful men in the city.Â
And yes, you knew who he was before he hired you, of course you did.
Harry had been New Yorkâs golden boy since the early aughts, when his first building went up in Tribeca and every magazine with a spine declared him the second coming of Frank Llyod Wright.
He was a genius, innovative. One of the youngest Pritzker Prize winners in history who got the kind of press coverage that made people think âarchitectâ was synonymous with âcelebrityâ.
Now, at 47, Harry Castillo is an institution in the world of design.
Castillo Atelier is the best firm in the city, maybe even in the world, depending on which Real Estate Digest cover story you read. His name alone makes most clients practically foam at the mouth and drop seven figures without seeing a single blueprint.
Youâve been his executive assistant longer than it took you to get your shiny Business Administrations degree from Colombia, and if anyone knew Harry better than his mother or his therapist, it was you.
You have every number of his black American Express card memorized, front and back. You have every password to every account imaginable tucked away neatly in a file labeled âBLACKMAIL MATERIALâ on your desktop.Â
You schedule his life down to the minute, from site visits in Abu Dhabi to dental cleanings in Midtown. You know his shoe size, the name of his best tailor's teenage daughter, which marble supplier he trusts in Verona. You know the entry code to his West Village brownstone and youâre on a first name basis with the doorman at his Fifth Avenue penthouse.Â
You know he drinks his coffee black but only before noon and he switches to espresso, that he smokes Marlboro Golds even though he swears up and down heâs quit, and that when heâs stressed, he starts sketching towers with spiral staircases thatâll never pass code.
Itâs morphed into a strange kind of intimacy. Not romantic, but not exactly a normal boss-employee relationship either.Â
He's the kind of boss who makes you want to roll your eyes at the word, because it's not that simpleânot that sterile.
It's late nights spent in his dimly lit office where he sheds his suit jacket and hands you a perfectly poured wine glass without asking when you're the only two left in the building. It's sitting shoulder to shoulder on a leather couch, going over zoning permits while his arm rests behind you, not on you, but close enough to count.
Harryâs careful with you, in a way thatâs not always obvious. He buys you the books you idly mention wanting to read in passing and custom David Yurman earrings fitted with your birthstone. If he was ten years younger and you were ten years dumber, you mightâve mistaken it for something else.Â
As it is, you just tell yourself he likes spoiling things that work well. Like his thousand dollar espresso machine. Like his Aston Martin. Like you.
You should feel like an accessory.
Instead, you feel like a centerpieceâlike youâre the sun that his life revolves around.Â
You canât tell which is worse.
Today, like most days, starts with you getting to the office an hour before him.
You take the elevator up to the seventy third floor, unlock his office, and flick on the lights. The space is gorgeous, minimalist in a way that doesnât ever feel cold. Floor to ceiling windows, sleek dark wood floors, and exposed beams.Â
Thereâs an open notebook on his desk from the night before, a few handwritten notes scrawled in sharp, narrow pen strokes that he gave up on halfway through and started sketching in the margins.
You roll your eyes, smothering a fond smile as you walk out of the room and to your own desk. Itâs less than six feet from his door, close enough that you can always hear clipped phone calls or the soft sounds of Prince playing from his sound system.
You drop your bag, start up your desktop, and begin triaging the day. Your inbox is in a constant state of full to the brim no matter how good you are at your jobâbursting with emails from developers, calendar shifts, a client breakfast cancellation.Â
The whole office smells like bergamot and bergdorf. Someone sent over a Diptyque candle and Harry hasnât stopped lighting it. Luckily for you, itâs strong enough to keep the scent of lemony luxury permeating long after itâs been blown out.Â
Itâs still not enough to magically cancel out the stress of pushy demands disguised as business and city bureaucracy, but you can still pretend it is.
Youâre bouncing between five open tabs and sending increasingly frantic texts to the head of operations about a late shipment of imported glass by the time you finally hear a soft ding from the elevator followed by crisp footsteps coming your way.
Harry rounds the corner holding a pastry bag, Ray-Bans on, hair still wet from the shower and curling around his ears. âGood morning, sunshine.â
You donât look up from your screen. âYouâre late again.â
âNo,â Harry tuts, leaning his hip against your desk and dropping the bag in front of you. âYouâre just early.â
âI work here.â
âFunny, so do I.â
âDo you?â You finally look up, brow arched. âI forget.â
Heâs wearing that suit. The one that makes your job harder in the most inappropriate HR violating ways. Deep blue pinstripe with the burgundy Gucci tie you handpicked last year. Itâs fitted like it had been tailored by the hands of God.
He tilts his head, peering at you over the edge of his glasses. âIs that any way to treat the man who bought you breakfast?â
Your eyes cut to the white paper bag, Mah-Ze-Dahr. You donât need to look inside it to know what it is, a twenty dollar pistachio crunch croissant. Your favorite.
You donât have time to respond before Harry drops his glasses on your desk, settling into the chair across from you. âRemind me never to take a meeting in Soho before noon again.â
You set the bag aside and continue typing with a soft shake of your head. âYou said that last week, and the week before that.â
âAnd yet I keep doing it.â He rolls his head on his shoulders with a soft sigh. âThatâs insanity, isnât it? Doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.â
âThatâs Einstein,â you say, pointedly ignoring the way heâs looking at you. âMaybe you just like the punishment.â
Harry huffs, amused. âI pay you too much to psychoanalyze me.â
You open a new tab, click on a high priority labeled email and turn your screen in his direction. âYet you donât pay me enough to deal with your ex-wifeâs lawyer hassling me before seven.â
That certainly gets his attention, his spine straightening as he leans forward, squinting at your screen. âShe didnât.â
You nod, resting your chin on your palm as his eyes flit over the lengthy body. âShe did.â
You watched the divorce unfold like everyone else. It was loud, expensive, and painfully public. She was a former model turned gallery owner with a sharp tongue and better connections than half the industry. When she aired Harry out in New York Magazine the tabloids had a fucking field day.
The headlines were vicious. Castilloâs Castle Crumbles. From Manhattanâs Favorite Power Couple to Demolition Duo. Architect of His Own Downfall?
âChrist.â Harry sighs, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. âShe promised sheâd keep you out of this.â
âShe lied.â You turn your screen back around, grabbing a pen to quickly scrawl the lawyerâs number across the front of a Post-It. âShe wants her name off the Lakewood project or sheâll go to the press about the Montauk property.â
He drags a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. âFucking hell.â
You slide the Post-It note across the desk. âDonât shoot the messenger.âÂ
He doesnât thank you, not out loud, but the way his eyes linger on the note before he tucks it into his jacket pocket says enough.
âI donât deserve you,â he says, and itâs almost a throwaway commentâbut his voice dips a little, gets low in that way that always makes you want to chew glass or scream into a designer throw pillow.
You shrug. âYou say that a lot, but I donât see any new raises.â
His grin is lazy, charming. âYou know Iâd bankrupt this company to keep you.â
You roll your eyes so hard it should count as cardio. âPlease donât. I like having dental.â
Harry laughsâreally laughsâand itâs unfair how good it sounds, how it worms under your skin and stays there.
You turn away, forcing the warm feeling in your stomach to the back of your mind, and pivot. âYou have a conference call with Dubai at eleven, lunch with the Fairstein developers at Cipriani, and thereâs some plans in the Berlin file that still need to be signed.â
Harry nods once, shifting into business mode at the drop of a hat. âWell, Iâve got my marching orders.â
He checks his watch, stands, and straightens his jacket with a lazy kind of grace. You hate the way your eyes catch on the curve of his wrist, the way the cufflink glints in the morning light. Custom Cartier, a gift from some foreign diplomat client last Christmas. You remember because you signed for the delivery. Wrapped it, even.
Just before he steps into his office, he pauses. âI mean it.â His voice softens, and for a flicker of a moment, he looks at you like heâs trying to tell you something without saying it out loud. âThis place doesnât work without you.â
You glance up, heart skipping in your chest, ready with some practiced quip, but heâs already goneâdoor shut, his silhouette framed behind the frosted glass like a shadow you canât shake.
This is how it always isâbusiness talk sugarcoated in flirtation, or flirtation buried under years of knowing exactly how the other one works. If he werenât who he is, and if you werenât so damn good at ignoring how often he looks at your mouth when you talk, it mightâve gone somewhere dangerous already.
Instead, it lives in the margins. Like the ones he doodles spiral towers into. Like the ones in the secret planner buried in the very bottom drawer of you desk where you write down things like:
Remind Harry to eat something before 3.
Book flights for Hong Kong.
Donât fall in love with your boss.
That last oneâs underlined. Twice.
The rest of the morning floats by, you busy yourself with three different screens and sporadic bites of croissant and sips of coffee until one of the newer interns shows up with the mail.
You thank her and flip through the small mountain of envelopes until one catches your eye. A sleek black one with loopy silver lettering on the front. To Castillo Atelier, with a familiar logo stamped on the corner. You rip the gold seal, and slip the card out.
The AIA New York Chapter cordially invites Harry Castillo & Guest to the prestigious 2025 Architecture Gala | The Metropolitan Museum of Art | Black Tie.
You blink, and read it three more times before a deep sigh rips itself from somewhere deep in your chest. You skim the rest, going over fine print and steadily sighing louder the more you take it in.
You really should have known, itâs around that time. Award season, charity galas, old rich people stuff. Only this year, Harry Castillo and Guest are in separate states, in separate houses, and very much not on speaking terms.
Nor will they be on them in time for Friday night, or any other night in the foreseeable future.
You stand, letter in hand. Your heels click against the floor until youâre standing just outside Harryâs office, mulling over how bad it would reflect on your part if the invitation mysteriously found its way to the bottom of your trash. You knock anyway.
âCome in,â came the replyâhis voice low, rough like it always is after the lunch rush, like velvet dragged over concrete.Â
You stepped inside, closing the door behind you with a soft click.
Harry is at his desk, sleeves rolled up, tie loosened, Dior frames perched halfway down his nose as he looms over the stack of blueprints you left on his desk a few hours ago.
You donât let yourself look at the tan column of his neck as you lean against the door. âYou got a minute.â
He looks up, relaxing in his chair. âFor you? Always.â
You hold up the invitation like itâs a warrant, shaking it gently. âYouâve been summoned.â
Harryâs eyes bounce from your own to the thick card stock, you watch the recognition register in his eyes. He sighs, âThe gala.â
You nod, crossing your feet in front of you. âYouâre being honored.â
He shakes his head with a laugh. âI was hoping theyâd forget about me.â
Who possibly could?
You arch your brow. âItâs a lifetime achievement award.â
âIâm not even fifty.â
âApparently, theyâve run out of old white men to honor.â
Harry chuckles, but itâs a tired sound. He rubs slow circles over his temples, tousling the salt and pepper hair scattered there. âTell them weâre busy, send a fruit basket.â
You canât explain the feeling that floods your chest, a mix of something like compassion and pity. It makes your heart ache, just a little bit. Enough to make you really feel it, enough to make you bury it before you can really dwell on why it hurts so much.
Harry puts on a spectacular front, but you know him too well. You know that the divorce has weighed on him, thatâs it made him question himself. You know it was a massive shot to his self esteem, as both a person and as a company.Â
You also know deep down itâs not the company that you care about.
âNo.â You shake your head, making your way over to his desk.
He looks up at you, brow raised. âNo?â
âNo,â you emphasize, setting the invitation down on his desk. âYou may think this is pointless, and that youâre too youngââ
âWatch it.â
ââBut you deserve this,â you finish, tapping a manicured nail on the card. âYou deserve a whole room full of people fawning over you for no reason other than the fact that youâre you.â
Harry's eyes find yours again, slower this time. He doesnât say anything at first. He just looks at youâreally looks at you. And for a second, itâs too much. Too focused, too quiet, tooâŠtender. Itâs the kind of look that makes your skin prickle, your stomach twist.Â
But you donât flinch under the weight of his stare. You never do.
He leans forward, resting his arms on the desk. âOkay.â
You blink. âOkay?â
âOkay.â He nods, lacing his fingers together. âIâll go.â
It feels anticlimactic somehow. You expected more of a fightâmore pushback or maybe even a snide comment about black tie events like this becoming less about the accolades and the charity and more about new wave firms bustling around like show ponies scuffling over who signed the best contract with the most zeros tacked neatly on the end.
Instead, he just says okay. Like itâs simple. Like you arenât the reason heâs saying yes.
You narrow your eyes at him, suspicious. âJust like that?â
âYou make a compelling case." Harry shrugs, reaching for the invitation. âBesides, you know I love it when you compliment me.â
You huff, shaking your head, but you canât fight the smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth as you lean on his desk. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âSo Iâve been told.â Harry nods, but heâs smiling wide enough to outdo your own.
He looks down at the invitation, scanning over the text languidly. He hums as he reads, dragging his thumb across the raised font.Â
You let yourself watch him, cataloging all the details youâve already memorized a thousand times. Your eyes trace the shape of his brows, the deep set lines that fan out from the corners of his eyes, the strong arch of his nose, the soft curve of his lips.
When heâs done, he taps it against his palm once and looks back at you. âAnd who, pray tell, is coming as my guest?â
You tilt your head. âI can get you someone,â you offer, even if the words make your stomach churn as you say them. âYou want blonde or brunette? Bashful debutante or discreet NDA?â
Harry doesn't answer right away.
He leans back in his chair, looking at you like you're a puzzle heâs not quite finished solving. Like youâre a building heâs still sketching, still drafting, still trying to figure out if the foundation can handle the weight of what he wants to build on top of it.
âI donât want someone,â he says finally.
The words land softer than you expect, but they still hit like a hammer to the chest.
âYou should bring someone,â you deflect, professional, clean. âItâll look good. The press will be there.â
âIâm aware,â he says, still watching you. âWhich is why I donât want just anyone.â
You donât respond. You canât. Not with the way his voice soundsâquiet, certain, threaded with a dangerous kind of warmth that makes your pulse kick.
Harry reaches up to slip his glasses off his face. âI donât want someone,â he says again, voice even. âI want you.â
He says it like itâs the most obvious thing in the world, like your pulse doesnât trip itself up three times over.
You blink. Once. Twice. Then scoff, forcing a laugh. âExcuse me?â
âCome with me.âÂ
Itâs too sincere, too heart stoppingly warm.Â
Your stomach drops. Then flips. Then rises again in the same way an express elevator does at fifty floors a second. âHarryââ
He cuts you off. âDonât make that face.â He points at you with his glasses, shaking his head. âYouâll look incredible in black tie. And I trust you more than any PR wrangled plusâone theyâd set me up with.â
You shake your head, brows pinched. âThis isnât just some client dinner at Nobu Iâm playing third wheel at, Harry. This is extremely important. Itâs the goddamn Met for architects.â
Harry just smiles, squinting at you. âWhen have I ever let you feel like a third wheel?â
âIâm being serious.â
âSo am I.â
You just stare at him, lost for words. The city buzzes beneath you, the familiar noise of traffic and life blending together.
Harry doesnât look away, he keeps your gaze, quietly drumming his fingers along his desk. Itâs infuriating, the way the setting sun bathes him in a soft golden light, illuminating the smile on his face. A smile that makes it clear he knows heâs already won.
It makes you hesitate, the weight of it. Because it would be a date. Maybe not on paper or by any certain labelsâbut in every meaningful, messy, deliciously complicated way it matters, it would be.Â
Harry Castillo and guest, you filling the role perfectly.Â
You hold his gaze for a few moments longer, dragging it out just enough to make it seem like youâre putting up a real fight.
Finally, you cross your arms over your chest with a low sigh. âOkay.â
He cocks his head, smug grin on his lips. âOkay?â
âOkay,â you repeat, raising a shoulder more casually than you feel. âIâll go.â
âReally?â His tone is suspicious, but his smile doesn't budge. âThereâs no catch?â
âYou made a compelling case." You push off his desk, smoothing your hands down the front of your pencil skirt. âBesides, you know I love it when you compliment me.â
Harry laughs, a rich, warm sound. âI shouldâve known.â
âIâll need a dress,â you say, slowly making your way to the door. âI think the rest of the evening off should give me plenty of time to find one, donât you agree, boss?â
Harry shakes his head, easy as anything. âIâll take care of it.â
You pause, hand on the doorknob. âTell me youâre not trying to play sugar daddy, the interns are already gossiping.â
He arches a brow. âIf the shoe fits.â
âHarry.â
âOkay, okay.â He raises his hands in surrender, another laugh spilling from his chest to make the room just a few degrees warmer. âIâll handle it. Trust me.â
You roll your eyes, pulling the door open before you do something stupid like smile back. âDo I really have a choice?â
Just as you go to leave, he calls your nameâsoftly. It stops you mid-step.
You glance over your shoulder.
He doesnât say anything else right away. Just looks at you like youâre something heâs still trying to figure out how to know, even after all this time.
âThank you,â he says finally. Quiet. Sincere.
Your throat tightens. Not because of the wordsâeven if you give him shit for it, heâs said them beforeâbut because of the way he says them now. Like he means it for more than just the RSVP. Like he means it for staying. For putting up with the late nights, and the stress, and the divorce fallout, and the birthday gifts he forgets until the day of.
You nod, once. âYouâre welcome.â
And then you slip out the door before the silence swells too much and gives you away.
Youâre not in love with him. Not yet, but something about the way he looked at youâlike you were both a solution and a problemâmakes your chest ache in a way you donât quite know how to ignore anymore.
Youâll go to the gala. Youâll wear something ridiculously expensive, if Harry has any say on the matter. And maybe, just maybe, youâll let yourself enjoy it.
Just a little.
The package arrived that same night.
A man in a suit knocked on your door and had you sign for a box bigger than your work desk. He had to help you drag it into your hallway and denied the tip you tried to give him, assuring you it was already taken care of.
There were no labels on the box, no receipt or return address or anything other than an obnoxiously large gold bow wrapped neatly around all four sides.
Well, that and a note taped to the front.Â
Your name was written in a familiar, looping handwriting that youâd recognize by touch alone. You peeled it off with careful fingers, and with more ceremony than necessary, flipped it open.
âMake them think I built you myself - H.â Â
You stared at it for an embarrassingly long amount of time, not bothering to stifle the smile on your lips as you ran your thumb over the ink. You were alone anyway.
The box groaned a little when you finally opened it, layers of black tissue paper rustled softly as you peeled them back.
And there it was.
Midnight blue. Backless. Heavy silk. The kind of thing that knew how to behave under dim lights and the weight of eyes.
You could already feel itâhow it would cling to your waist, slip along your thighs when you walked, turn your skin into something luminous. You didnât even need a mirror.
Of course he picked this one. Of course he knew your size.
You reached for it, fingertips grazing the fabric like it might evaporate, still slightly dazed. There was an overwhelming aura about itâlike this wasnât just a dress, but a thesis.
A statement. An intention, signed and sealed in French seams.
And somehow it still smelled faintly of him. Not in a creepy way. In a way that made you wonder if heâd touched it before it left the boutique. If heâd looked at it and pictured you, just for a moment too long. If heâd smiled when he imagined what youâd say.
You unfolded it like you were handling a newborn, held it against your body and turned toward the hallway mirror, half laughing at yourself, heat rising to your cheeks.
You turned this way and that, staring at your reflection in the dim light, pretendingâjust for a secondâthat he was behind you, watching.
Your phone buzzed on the counter. One sharp vibration, tearing you out of your little fantasy world and back to the present.
You crossed the room still holding the dress to your chest, and bit your lip when you saw his name at the very top of your screen.
Hairy
Try not to cause a scene unless you want to make headlines. Iâd like to keep your promotion rumor free, for now.
You laughed softly, thumb hovering above the keyboard for just a moment before you started typing.
You know this is deranged behavior, right?
You hit send before you could overthink it, watched the read receipt pop up a second later before the three little bubbles came to life.
They vanished, then reappeared.
Hairy
Iâm aware.
But I have impeccable taste. That absolves me of quite a lot.
See you at 8.
You swore softly under your breath and set the phone down like it was overheating.Â
You looked back at the dress. At the mirror.
God help youâyou were going to wear the hell out of it.
Friday comes both too fast and too slow.
You glide through the whole rest of the week pretending this is normalâjust another event, just another night of shaking hands and schmoozing.
You tell yourself it doesn't mean anything, but the butterflies in your stomach donât listen quite as well.
You hardly see Harry at work, most of his time spent across town busy with clients like he always is near the end of the week. You canât tell if it would have helped or hindered your nerves to see him before you both showed up to one of the most prestigious events held in his field, together.Â
Maybe itâs better this way.
Now, youâve spent the better part of the evening after work pacing the floor of your apartment in a silk robe, nerves reaching a fever pitch.Â
Your phone is blowing up from its spot next to you on your vanity with calendar alerts and panicked texts from Harry about the misplacement of a single Prada tie he just has to wear even though he has hundreds of others to choose from lining an entire wall of his walk-in. You know that, youâre the one who hung them.
You do your hair and makeup on what feels like autoâpilot, the playlist you put on to distract you playing softly in the background until your phone lights up again, buzzing with a text that cuts through the static like a wire to your nerves.
Hairy
Found the tie, crisis averted.Â
Just need you now. Be there in 15.
You take a deep breath, exhaling through your nose and sending a quick thumbs up before you're standing on shaky legs.
The dress has been hung safely on the back of your bedroom door since you unboxed it. You take a second to just stare at it, before reaching for it with reverence, like touching it too fast might break the spell of the whole evening.Â
It slips from the hanger like water through your fingers, the fabric heavier than you remembered, or maybe thatâs just the weight of new expectations.
You slide it on slowly, smoothing it over your hips, tugging the zipper up with a practiced hand. It fits perfectly, almost like it was made to your exact measurements.
Your reflection stares back at you in the mirror. You barely recognize her. Poised, elegant, flushed with anticipation. You look like someone who belongs next to a man like Harry Castillo.
The thought alone makes your pulse thrum a little faster.
You swipe on lipstick lastâsomething deep and sultry, a few shades bolder than you usually wear, because tonight is different.
Youâre not just the assistant tonight. Youâre his date. Sort of. Kind of. Not really.
But he asked you to come, he wanted you there, with him.
The buzzer sounding from your door slices through your thoughts.
With one last deep breath, you grab your phone, your keys, and the clutch youâre borrowing from a fashion editor you sometimes get drunk with at Bemelmans, and you walk out the door.
The click of your heels echo as you make your way down the hall to the elevator.
Harry is the first thing you see as the doors to your building slide open.
Heâs leaning against the limo waiting for you, the door open next to him as a cigarette dangles between his fingers. He looks like he stepped straight out of a GQ spread. His Kiton suit fits him like a glove, the charcoal velvet hugging broad shoulders and tapering at the waist like it was stitched directly onto him.Â
You make your way down the stairs until youâre standing on the pavement. Harry looks up at the sound of footsteps.
The cigarette stops halfway to his mouth.
For a moment, he just stares.
You can feel his eyes on your body like a caress, ghosting from your heels all the way up to the Cartier necklace he bought you after you saved a merger in Thailand, resting gently on your collarbones.Â
The silence stretches, taut like a violin string.
You clear your throat, fighting the urge to squirm on the spot. âIs it too much?â
Harry blinks, like the sound of your voice broke him out of a trance. âNo,â he breathes, shaking his head distractedly. âItâs perfect.â
Your heart lurches in your chest, fluttering wildly like a Monarch trapped beneath a mason jar. âYou donât look half bad yourself, Castillo,â you murmur, trying for playful, but your voice comes out too soft, too breathy.
He smiles at thatâslow, crooked, absolutely devastating. The kind of smile that makes your knees a little weaker than heels this high should allow.
âWell,â he says, flicking his cigarette into a nearby trash can. âWeâre already late, we might as well make an entrance.â
Harry offers you his hand, and without thinking, you take it.
âWe might as well.â
The Met is bathed in glowing opulenceâdecked in gold and white, chandeliers like constellations above you. Thereâs jazz swelling from a live quartet near the Temple of Dendur and the room comes alive with it.
You glide through marble halls on his arm, greeting developers and designers and too rich donors who want nothing more than to be photographed with nights' most respected attendant.
Harry is a natural hereâeffortless. He laughs, he charms, he plays the part of the adored genius.
You also play your role perfectly.
You smile. You exchange polite hugs and shake hands. You whisper names into his ear just before he needs them.Â
The two of you work the room like a well oiled machine. Not a screw out of place.
âYou do realize they all think Iâm sleeping with you,â you murmur as you pass a table full of ancient structural engineers throwing pointed looks at the two of you.
âLet them,â he says, not missing a beat.
âIsnât that bad for business?â
Harry looks at you sideways. âWhoâs going to call us on it?â
You donât answer. You donât look away either.
Thereâs champagne, and a brief moment where a reporter mistakes you for his fiancĂ©e. Harry doesnât correct her. You do, of course, all while violently fighting the heat crawling up your neck. You donât miss the way his mouth quirks when you do.
Dinner is some overly fussed beet amuse-bouche followed by lamb you barely taste. Youâre seated next to Harry at the center of a table surrounded by board members and art world fixtures who all speak in the same Upper East Side cadence that makes everything sound like a question and an insult.
But Harry listens to you. He lets you finish your thoughts. He asks you what you think of the new public art installation in Battery Park and snorts when you call it âegregiously derivativeâ even when the rest of the table frowns.
âYouâre such a snob,â he murmurs, voice low against the shell of your ear.
You smile behind your glass. âAnd yet here I am, slumming it with my boss.â
He grins bright enough to rival the candle light. âLucky me.â
At some point, about halfway through a debate about the authenticity of modernism in design, you notice the way his knee brushes against yours under the table and stays there. You donât move. He doesnât either.
Itâs become a theme. The touch. The contact.
Harry kept his hand on the small of your back most of the night, it was practically glued to the spot before dinner began. This is no different, except for the fact that this touch is hidden. It's shielded from the prying eyes of members and photographers and reporters.Â
Itâs just for you.
The awards are handed out shortly after.Â
Harryâs name echoes across the room to rounds and rounds of applause. The speech is short, tasteful, elegant, moving. He stands under a golden spotlight and says something about legacy, about cities and their hearts and how architecture is just the blueprint of human longing.
You watch him from your seat at the table, heart caught in your throat. He looks radiant on stage, confident and alive in a way you haven't seen in months.
You clap until your palms sting.
When the speech is over, he doesn't have a foot off the stage before many of the other attendees swarm him. You let out a slow breath as you watch him receive hugs and kisses and claps on the back.
You only slip out onto the terrace when everyone at your table has left to join in, clutch in hand.
The cool night breeze is a welcome escape, soothing as it blows across the bare expanse of your skin and seeps into the rich fabric of your dress.
Itâs not that you werenât enjoying yourself, that you werenât enjoying watching Harry. You just found it, almost hard to breathe all of a sudden. The range of different emotions swirling through your stomach certainly didnât help, but that was a problem you could repress and compartmentalize for sometime in the near future.
Youâre maybe five minutes into your emergency cigarette when he finds you, your heels kicked off as you sit on a marble bench.
âYou never smoke.â he says, setting his award down next to you and plucking the cigarette from between your fingers, taking his own slow drag. His lips seal directly over where your own were just a second ago, circling the ruddy lipstick stain wrapped around the filter.
You look out to the city, exhaling a steady stream grey. âI also donât usually wear a custom made, six thousand dollar dress or fake laugh at old men who wonât stop calling me âdarlingâ while they openly stare at my tits.â
Harry hums at that, amused, the smoke curling lazily from his lips as he tips his head back to look at the sky. âYou handled it like a pro, you were brilliant tonight.â
He holds out the cigarette, reddened embers float down from the tip, losing color as they fall until theyâre nothing but a black speck on the pristine sea of white beneath your feet.
You take it, your fingers brushing against his. âIâm very good at pretending.â
His eyes shift to you, the kind of look in them that settles somewhere deep and heavy in your chest. âI know.â
Thereâs a beat of quiet between you, filled only by the wind brushing through the terrace hedges and the distant echo of jazz from inside. The city glimmers out past the railing, a mirage of light and motion.
You clear your throat, raising the cigarette to your lips. âYou didnât have to come find me.â
âI know,â he says again, softly this time. âBut I wanted to.â
You turn to face him fully. âBecause you couldnât remember Natalie Rebuckâs name, or because you were worried Iâd throw myself off the balcony?â
He doesnât smile. He looks at you too seriously for either of those to be one off jokes. âBecause youâre the only person I wanted to see.â
That stills everything in you. Justâstills it.
Thereâs nothing ironic about the way he says it. Itâs not teasing, not playful. Just a quiet truth. And somehow, thatâs more disarming than anything else he couldâve said.
âYou saw me fifteen minutes ago,â you manage, your voice not quite as sharp as you want it to be.
âYeah.â He shrugs and says it again, slower this time. âAnd I missed you.â
Itâs that same tone. Soft, reserved. Gentle enough that it makes you feel like the only person in the world and sick to your stomach all at once. The cigarette hangs limply by your side, dwindling to nothing between your fingers. You wonder, idly and far too late, if you can even smoke in a dress like this.
The silence stretches on like taffy. Youâre just about to respond when the music starts up again inside. Itâs something old and very romantic. Maybe Sinatra, or Ella. You canât quite place it.
Harry seems to, perking up instantly. He glances through the open door, where many couples inside are pairing off and filling the dance floor one by one. He looks back at you, eyes glinting dangerously under the terrace lights. âDance with me.â
You canât help the laugh that bursts from your chest, eyes wide with disbelief. âYouâre kidding.â
âI just won a very important and highly coveted award given out only once every single year.â He takes a step closer, offering you his hand. âYouâre telling me I donât get one dance?â
You shake your head, inching back the tiniest bit. âI donât dance with my boss.â
He winks, warmth sparking to life in his eyes just beside the glow of the lights. âGood thing Iâm off the clock.â
You stare down at his outstretched hand for a second too long, lips parted in soft protest, breath caught somewhere behind your ribs. Thereâs something so deeply unfair about the way heâs always been able to make you feel like the only woman in a city of millions. Even now. Especially now.
You give him your hand.
You still hesitate even as you stand and slip your heels back on. You glance at the terrace doors and wearily eye what feels like a sea of people. âOut here?â
âNo,â he says, turning your hand over in his and brushing his thumb along your pulse point like itâs nothing. âInside. Just one song.â
You hesitate again. Not because you donât want to, but because you do. Too much. And that terrifies you.
But then his hand tightens just slightly around your wrist, grounding you. His palm is warm, and you realizeâof course he knows. He always knows. Knows how to read a room, read a blueprint, read you. Better than he probably should.
He tugs gently, and you let him lead you back inside.
The terrace doors hush closed behind you and the city disappears, replaced again by the ambient, golden warmth of the Metâs grand hall. You weave through the swaying bodies with ease, like they part from the sheer energy you must be oozing as you find a spot in the center of the room.
Harry draws you in close.
Too close for coworkers. Too close for anything you could explain away come Monday. But not close enough for the ache it sparks low in your belly. One hand finds the dip of your waist, the other laces your fingers in his. His touch is elegant. Familiar. A little too knowing.
You slide your arm around his neck and let him sway you into the rhythm. Youâre too aware of every point of contact. The velvety fabric of his tuxedo beneath your hand. The graze of your thigh against his leg. The way he smellsâTom Ford, Tobacco Vanille. But thereâs something else, something hidden under it thatâs just Harry.
The rhythm is slow. Intimate. His hand is an inescapable plane of heat on your back, just beneath the dip of the dress, the pad of his thumb draws tiny, absent circles against your spine.
He hums the melody under his breath as you move together, you can feel the deep rumble of it against your chest.
âYouâre trembling,â he says suddenly, quietlyâwhispered against the shell of your ear.
âNo Iâm not,â you lie, pulling back to meet his gaze. âItâs probably the nicotine.â
Harry laughs, the corners of his eye crinkle endearingly as he does. âIs it?â
You nod. âIt is.â
The music hums all around you, but you hardly hear it. It fades away into the soft air of complete nothingness, same as all the people around you wane and dwindle until youâre almost certain you and Harry are the only two left standing.
You canât break away from the weight of his gaze, drawn to it like heavy metal to a magnet. His gaze sweeps across every inch of your face, like heâs seeing you for the first time.
âYou look so beautiful tonight,â he murmurs, so softly it nearly melts into the melody. âYou always do, but tonightâŠâ His voice tapers off as if he canât quite land on the word. He doesnât need to.
âHarryâŠâ
He shakes his head. âI mean it, you are absolutely gorgeous.â He spins the both of you slowly, his eyes never straying from you. âAnd thatâs the least interesting thing about you.â
It feels like a physical blow, but it lands in the softest way possible. His words washing over your skin feels a million times more luxurious than the miles of silk encompassing you.
You wonder if this is how it startsânot with fireworks, but with slow dancing in a museum full of strangers with your boss whispering something like worship in the space between you.
Itâs nothing. Itâs everything.
âWell,â you reply, voice shaking and almost far away. âYou did hire me because my resume reads like a Vogue spread. You said it yourself, the firm doesnât work without me.â
It should ruin the moment, bringing up workâwhere your relationship actually stands in the real world, outside of this fantasy of a nightâbut Harry doesnât let it.
He just shakes his head, brows pinched together like heâs deep in thought. His hand tightens around yours, heâs so close now that you can feel the steady beat of his heart.Â
Can he feel yours?
âWhen I look at you, and I think of all that you areâŠâ Harry trails off again, the chocolate brown of his eyes shining under the twinkling lights as he holds your gaze. âThat doesnât even cross my mind.â
Your breath stutters, and you knowâyou knowâthat if you speak, itâll all come tumbling out. Everything youâve been trying not to say, not to want. The feelings youâve tried to laugh away or roll your eyes at or bury under hundreds of deadlines and calendar alerts buzzing from two separate phones and all the plethora of ways youâve told yourself this canât happen.
âIâŠâ
And then he kisses you.
And then you canât speak at all.
Itâs slow at first, but not hesitant, not unsureâdeliberate. Harry kisses you like heâs been carving space for it, like itâs been trapped in him for too long. His lips are soft, but sure, coaxing rather than claiming.Â
His hand slides from your waist all the way up to cradle your jaw, leaving behind a trail of heat along the plane of your spine. His thumb brushes your cheekbone, you can feel the faint callous left behind by countless pens and pencils.
Your hands bury themselves in the soft curls of his hair as you melt into his body. Itâs so simple, the shift. Youâve spent so long running, so long lost in the dark waters of denial that you almost canât believe how easy it isâhow perfectly you fit together.
Itâs like the last piece of a puzzle finally falling into place, slotting into all the others that came before it.
Harry exhales shakily, lips barely parting from your own. âChrist,â he whispers, forehead touching yours. âYouâreââ
You kiss him again before he can finish.
His lips part under yours with a sigh that borders on desperate, and the heat crackles between you now, undeniable. Dizzying. When your mouth opens to him in turn, he groans low in his throat, like the first taste of you has broken something open inside him.
Slow becomes hungry. Your hand slides to his jaw, thumb brushing the rough edge of stubble. He tastes like champagne and citrus and the heady edge of smoke
The kiss turns molten under your fingertips.
You feel it in your knees, in your chest, in your coreâthe sharp, sudden ache of need blooming within you that has nothing to do with polite society.
When you finally pull apart, itâs only because air insists you do.
Harry rests his forehead against yours once again, his eyes still closed when yours slip open. His cheeks are flushed, his lips slick and smeared with the barest hint of your lipstick. You can feel his breath puff over your skin in short, quick pants that you match.
He opens his eyes, and your knees nearly buckle at the look in them. His pupils are blown, wide and black as ink under the lights. Your pulse is a drum in your throat, beating just as loud and fast in your ears.
He swallows hard. âWe should leave.â
Your voice is barely a whisper, but itâs just as firm. âYes.â
The ride back to the office is a blur.
Youâre not even sure how Harry got you out of the Met so quickly, how you made it past the new swarm of admirers once again trying to shake his hand or take a photo or congratulate him.
The limo was already waiting by the time you made it out the doors. You barely remember the valet, just the cool feeling of the seats beneath your thighs and the sharp click of the partition going up behind Harryâs head.
His eyes pin you to your seat, hot and heavy and impossibly dark as the hum of the engine carries you through the city, velvet wrapped and haloed in streetlight.
He hasnât even touched you yet, not really, but your skin feels like itâs blistering beneath your dressâyour pulse high, your thighs pressed tight together in anticipation that makes your stomach twist and flutter.
âCome here,â Harry says, voice low, rasped from restraint and heavy need.
Two words. Thatâs all he says.
Your legs move before your brain catches up, straddling him in the backseat like itâs the most natural thing in the world. His hands come to your waist as you settle into his lap, and fuckâheâs hard already, thick and burning a plane of heat against your high.
âYou have no idea,â he breathes against your neck, mouthing at the skin just under your ear, âwhat you do to me.â
âTell me,â you whisper, even as your eyes slip shut, hips rolling forward instinctively against him
Harry groansâdeep and pained and real. âYou walk into a room and I canât think. Not clearly. Not rationally. Itâs all static, itâs all you. Your eyes, your mouth, your fucking mindââ He nips your jaw, tongue chasing the sting. âYou kill me.â
You moan, your hands digging into the strong muscle of his back. It draws a ragged growl from Harryâs throat, his fingers twitching on your hips.
âAre you wet for me?â
Youâre nodding your head before you even realize it. âYes.â
He curses under his breath, burying his nose in the sensitive spot where your neck meets your shoulder. âI havenât even touched you properly, and youâre already making a mess.â His voice is rough velvet, soaked in lust. âWhat do you think that says about you, sweetheart?â
âThat I want you,â you breathe, already half-gone. âSo fucking badly, Harry.â
Harry lets out a slow breath through his nose, his touch slides down your thighs, bunching your dress. âWhat I wantâŠâ He trails off, slipping his hand under your skirt. You gasp as his fingers skim the waist of your panties. âis to spread you open, taste how needy you are. I want to make you come with my mouth before I even think about fucking you.â
His fingers brush over the soaked center of your panties and he groans, low and dark. âFuck.â He presses the pads of his fingers into you through the fabricâjust enough pressure to tease, to leave you gasping. âThis all for me?â
You whine, high and light in the back of your throat as you nod frantically. Thatâs not enough for Harry.
His eyes narrow, lips brushing the shell of your ear. âUse your words, baby. Who made you this wet?â
âYou,â you whisper. âYou did.â
âThatâs right.â He slides the lace aside to run two fingers through your folds slowly. Your hips jolt, and he grins against your throat.
Your head drops against his shoulder, hips bucking against his fingers. He holds you in place with an iron grip, not letting you grind down for friction just yet. You feel the twitch of his cock beneath you, straining against the fabric of his tuxedo pants.
âHarryââ you gasp, breath breaking as he circles your clit with the barest pressure. Just enough to tease.
âMm, I know,â he murmurs, kissing your throat. âI know what you need, but not yet. I want you squirming by the time we get to the office. Can you be good for me and wait, hm?â
Your stomach clenches in anticipation, your cunt throbbing between your legs. Youâre not sure how much more desperate you can get, grinding on your boss in the back of a limo while his hand is up your skirt seems like the highest form of desperation.Â
StillâŠ
You nodâbarelyâbecause your throat is tight with need, but Harry clicks his tongue.
âI said use your words.â Itâs not mean, the demand. The tone of his voice. Itâs strong, rich with the same power and authority youâve seen countless times over the past few years.
âYes,â you whisper, your voice trembling. âIâll be good. Iâll wait.â
âThatâs my girl,â he murmurs, brushing his mouth over your jaw like heâs proud of you, like heâs already rewarding obedience.
He keeps his hand there the whole driveâjust resting. No pressure. No movement. Just the heat of his skin against your soaked center, the weight of his hand where you need it most, while the city blurs past the tinted glass. Itâs maddening.
Every bump in the road jolts you slightly. Every turn shifts your hips, makes his fingertips graze your clit. Itâs not enough. Itâs torture. You bite your lip raw trying not to move, not to grind down and take what you want.
It would be so easy, youâre pathetically close to the edge as is.Â
But you told Harry yes, breathed it against his shoulder in soft surrender.Â
You promised to be good, and youâre dying to see what it gets you.
Getting up to Harryâs office is a mess of stumbling feet and frantic hands that refused to stop touching any longer than they have to.
Harry kisses you against the door, your back pressed to the frosted glass. His mouth is hot and hungry and unrelenting, like heâs trying to make up for the months of waiting with every glide of his tongue.
Youâre the one who breaks away just long enough to fumble for the keycard clipped inside his jacket, but Harryâs already sliding it free with one hand while the other stays around your waist.Â
The lock beeps open and you stumble through the door, breath ragged, dress askew. Harry kicks it shut behind you, his lips never leaving yours as he walks you backwards until the tops of your thighs hit his desk.
You barely have time to gasp before you're liftedâeffortlessâonto the surface of his desk, papers fluttering to the floor beneath you as he spreads your legs apart with both hands.
âLean back,â he says hoarsely, helping you as your hands fumble for balance. The cold glass of the desk kisses your palms. âLet me see you.â
Your dress is hiked up around your waist, pooling all around you like ink, your thighs parted. Harry looks at you like heâs starved. His eyes drag up your body like a man measuring the cost of ruin and deciding to pay it gladly.
He makes quick work of his jacket, only needing to shuck it off his shoulders after you made quick work of the buttons back in the elevator. He collapses back into his chair with a shaky breath, sliding in between your legs.Â
His hands find the waistband of your ruined panties, eyes glued to your core as he peels them down your legs. âFuck,â he mumbles, running his index finger through the wet mess that greets him. He kisses the inside of your thigh once, then higher, and higher. âSo beautiful.â
His mouth is on you in a secondâhot, wet, consuming.
He licks a long stripe from your entrance to your clit, groaning like heâs tasting something decadent.Â
âShit.â Your moan is loud, hips jolting off the desk. âHarryââ
âChrist,â he groans against you. âYou tasteâJesus. I could stay here all night.â
He takes your legs in his hands, throws them over his shoulders and he devours youâthereâs no other word for it. Messy, greedy, reverent. His tongue works in tight, filthy circles, alternating pressure, pulling gasp after gasp from your throat.
He sucks your clit, slow and deep, lips sealing over it and pulling it into his mouth. His tongue flicks once, twice, and your hips jolt off the desk.
âFuck, yesâright thereâdonât stopââ
His hands spread your thighs wider, thumbs digging into soft flesh as he groans into you, like youâre the thing getting him off.
Your head falls back with a cry, hands burying themselves in his hair. âGodâHarryââ
âThatâs it,â he mutters against you, voice vibrating into your core. âUse my mouth. Take what you need.â
You donât even realize youâre doing itârocking forward, grinding down on his face like itâs instinct. His nose bumps your clit perfectly, the stubble on his jaw sending aftershocks through your skin. He hums with satisfaction, like he knew youâd lose control, like he wanted it.
Youâre already squirming, already close all over again. Your head lolls back as you cry out, desperate and high and wanton.
âLook at me,â he demands, voice muffled. âRight here. I need your eyes on me, honey.â
You do.
You look down and see him between your thighs, hair mussed, lips slick, eyes nearly black. Heâs never looked more beautiful. Or more ruined.
Your fingers tighten in his curls, yankingâhe groans like he likes it, grinding his mouth harder against you, tongue flicking over your clit until you cry out, arching into his face.
âHarryâHarry, Iâm gonnaââ
âCome,â he commands. âLet go for me.â
And you do.
Your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal waveâsharp and blinding. You cry out, thighs trembling, nails digging into the wood of the desk as Harry keeps licking you through it, gentle now, savoring every second.
Only then does he pull back, licking his lips like heâs just finished dessert. He rises to his feet slowly, towering above you.
âBeautiful,â he pants, voice rough and heartbreakingly earnest. âYouâre so beautiful like this.â
You can barely breathe, your chest rising and falling with every sharp inhale. But you still reach for him, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt. âPlease.â
Harry doesnât hesitate. He undoes his belt with one hand, the other bracing beside your head as he kisses you againâfilthy, deep, you taste yourself on his tongue. âI need to be inside you,â he says, voice wrecked. âNow.â
You shift, moving to turn onto your stomach.
âNo,â he says sharply, hands tightening on your hips. âNo, I want to see you.â
Your lips part on a soft breath, something dangerous squirming to life under your skin. âOkayâŠâ
The sound of his zipper rings in your ears, and you glance down just in time to see his cock freed from the soaked cotton of his boxers. Itâs thick and flushed, rosy tip already slick with precome. Your breath catches when he strokes it once, twice, eyes pinned to your cunt like heâs imagining exactly how youâll take it.
âYou ready?â he asks, soft again, lining himself up with your shaking entrance. âI need you to say it.â
âYes,â you breathe. âI want you, Harry.â
He pushes in slowlyâso slowlyâand your back arches, a shocked moan catching in your throat at the sheer stretch of him. Heâs thick, unrelenting, and your body clamps down around him greedily.
âJesus Christ,â he breathes, pressing his forehead to yours. âYou feel like fucking heaven.â
You gasp, nails digging into his arms as he fills you. âOh godâHarryââ
âThatâs it,â he groans, teeth gritted as he bottoms out. âThatâs my girl. Taking me so fucking well.â
He doesnât wait long after that. The first thrust is slow, the second is harder. By the third heâs fucking into you like he canât get deep enough, the desk creaking beneath you, the sound of skin on skin filling the dim office air.
You clutch at him, gasping as he hits every spot that makes you see stars.
Harry fucks you with purpose, with hunger, but he never loses that softnessâhis thumb on your cheek, his lips pressing kisses to your jaw, your shoulder, the hollow of your neck, the swell of your breast. He cradles your head in his hands so you donât knock it into the glass.
Itâs all too much. Too much and not enough.Â
It feels like home, like this is where you should have been instead of running every chance you got, like a coward. Your hands dig into his shoulder, his name falling from your lips over and over.
âYes.â He kisses you again, bruising and messy like heâs trying to taste the way it sounds right off your tongue. âSay my name.â
âHarryâfuckâHarry!â
âThatâs it,â he growls, fucking into you faster now, the slap of skin on skin echoing through the office. âYouâre mine now, aren't you? You're finally going to let me have you?â
âYesâyesâoh my godââ
âSay it.â
âI'm yours, Harryâyoursâfuck, Iâmââ
He pulls you tight against him, fucking you so deep itâs like heâs imprinting himself inside you. âCome for me, sweetheart. Show me how good I make you feel.â
You come with a sob, clenching around him, unraveling completely beneath his weight and his words and the unbearable sweetness in his eyes as he watches you fall apart.
âIâm gonna come,â he grits out, thrusts growing erratic. âWhere do you want it, sweetheart? Tell me.â
âInside,â you whisper. âWant to feel it. Please, HarryâŠâ
Thatâs all he needs.
He spills inside you with a groanâdeep and rawâthrusting once, twice more before spilling into you, his mouth dropping to your shoulder with a quiet, reverent moan of your name.
New Yorkâs skyline shines through the window, bathing you both in a shimmering light.Â
The only sounds filling the office are the light, gentle breaths as you both come down. The dull hum of the city underscores it, muted and fuzzy around the edges.
Harryâs hands donât stray from your hips, his thumbs absentmindedly draw small circles over your bare skin. The night plays through your mind in flashbacks, each snapshot of all the moments where things shifted like a slideshow behind your eyes.
The stairs of your building, the touch of his hand on your back, the looks from across the room, the terrace.Â
âFuck,â you say suddenly, raising your head off the desk in alarm. âHarry, your award. You left it on the terrace.â
Itâs quiet, until his shoulders start to shake and the unmistakable sound of laughter fills the space between you.
âItâs not funny!â You slap his shoulder, but youâre still smiling. âThat was the whole fucking point of tonight.â
Harry lifts his head, meeting your gaze. âWas it?â
You look back, puzzled. âWasnât it.â
Harry chuckles again, shaking his head fondly. He leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, slow and indulgent. âIâve already got the only thing I wanted tonight.â
Your heart does a small, dangerous thing in your chest. âWell, this is definitely going in my yearly review.â
Harry hums. âI look forward to reading it.â
You donât muffle your laugh, you donât turn your face to hide your smile. You only raise your hand, carding your fingers through the sweaty curls laying on his forehead.Â
Harry turns his head, pressing one last kiss to your palm.
Youâll email the AIA tomorrow, for now, they can wait.
MINI NATâS NOTE: if you would have told me a year ago that i would be writing for a pedro pascal character in a movie that chr*s ev*ns is ALSO in, i would have laughed in your face, HARD. oh how the sands of time can change us.
anyway this actually wasn't the harry fic i originally wanted to post. i was working on something completely different when this idea manifested in my brain and i immediately jumped shipâŠbut in my defense this is the fastest i've written something since the semester ended so ofc she's being uploaded. thank you so much for reading, love you!
#â đŻđąđ”đąđđȘđą đžđłđȘđ”đŠđŽ âĄ#áŻâ
đ§đđ'đŹ đ©đđ«đŹđšđ§đđ„ đĄđđ«đ«đČ đđđŹđđąđ„đ„đš!#natalia cant write anything under 1.000 words#say it with me...#this was so fun to write#it always it lmao#love you!#mwah mwah mwah!#the materialists#harry castillo#harry castillo x reader#harry castillo x you#harry castillo fic#harry castillo x f!reader#harry castillo smut#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal smut#materialists#materialists 2025
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