#as you can see i didn't restart

[bewitchingbloom]

Love me a game that lets me get up on the roof

[mystiqmemory]

DARE I SAY.

Eden Tobisa from the Fan-series Danganronpa; Despair Time &

Diana Venicia from the Fanganronpa Project; Eden's Garden.

[jonesandashes]

day 11: rewired my brain | #ffrmc2024

"Gentlemen," I said, "I've studied the maps" by lagardère (laurore)

Little/Jopson, Little/Tozer | 23k | m

Edward Little has a history of bad break-ups set against dramatic Arctic backdrops. The best way to avoid this happening with Jopson is, perhaps, to go to the Arctic without him - even if it means that he'll have to spend the next six months alone.

Academia AU. There's a whole series and it's fantastic, but this is my favourite entry and it can stand alone. This is the fic that made me buy Little/Jopson and Little/Tozer, but that doesn't matter. What matters is you make decisions and you try and you fail and life is long and it's short and there's no going back but also, sometimes, there is.

We go back and forth in time between Little as a 30-something Artic researcher and 14ish years ago when the cold boys were in university together, and slowly fill in what happened in between: how everyone changed or didn't change. Or maybe wanted to change but couldn't do it. Features possibly my favourite ever take on the character of Edward Little. (And though his appearances here are very brief: I think my favourite take on Irving, too.)

[chucapybara]

tell me there's anything as profound as having fought through hell, come out bloodied, lost an eye and an arm and a chestpiece and having taken those lost parts off the body of a version of yourself that didn't succeed and having slain countless zombified replikas and burned through thousands upon thousands of copies of yourself with one singular goal but to fulfill a promise

[gu6chan]

ouaaaaaghhh i've been on a bit of a pokemon binge lately......... i should crack open my old pokemon games and take a peek at my teams :,) i wish i still had my old copy of conquest and black 2 though............ :(

[aquilamage]

well, found out what happens when you save on cycle 0: getting into negative cycles that basically function the same as 0 (you're done if you die or quit out, food point amounts are halved from everything, scary 'youre fucking dying' effects happening). and then the end is the same thing

it's neat as a gameplay mechanic for sure, although eh for story impact.

[kedreeva]

I discovered the ability to play on "hardcore" mode in Minecraft, which is where the difficulty is set to hard and if you die, that's it. Which is weirdly enticing, so I gave it a shot.

The first time I tried it, I pretty immediately died. Like, I did not last an entire hour.

But, I recently had a world where I survived over 100 days, and almost all of those day were spent in a Dark Oak Forest biome, which is one of the more dangerous ones. I built a 3-story house with a greenhouse, a wine cellar, a mine shaft, agriculture and livestock farming and more. I was slowly exploring the verdant cave below my home. I stepped backward into lava and couldn't get out again, while I was on the phone with a friend. Don't chat and play, I suppose lol

I restarted on a random seed, and there were several nice biomes within view (jungle, flower, desert, badlands, birch forest). I could see a village in the distance, so I headed that way first and found a massive abandoned mine just outside of town. I didn't go too far in, but there were some chests of goodies near some of the entrances. I tamed a few wolves and a cat, and I just took off into the distance. I spent the first 20+ days just kind of wandering the wilderness with my dogs, camping out at night. I picked a random nice spot in a broad Birch Forest to toss down my stuff and build a home, mostly because my hands were full.

I'm close to 50 "days" in, and I've spent most of it out gallivanting. I went out to find a village to tame a second cat, so I could have more at-will, and to find a Striped Wolf out in those badlands (successful). I spent days looking for a Spotted Dog in the savannas that looked like plateaus (unsuccessful, and I lost my cat and had to go BACK and get ANOTHER one). I finally returned home and this is the view from my front windows, just before I logged for the evening.

Something about only having one life makes the game a little more charming than usual. I mean, it's always charming, but I've been taking more time to look around at the worlds I won't be returning to when I finally bite it. Making sure I take a minute to appreciate the views, pat the doggos, look in the nooks and crannies for things I might like, since I won't get to come back. I mean, I can come back but I can't Come Back, y'know?

The same is true of real life, obviously. There are an increasing number of things that want us dead, but there are still sunsets out the window, and doggos to be pat, and little treasures to be found if we're looking for them. I think that's worth sticking around as long as I can.

[writersrkive]

Don't shut up | Spencer Reid

summary: Spencer is used to people who constantly tell him to shut up, but somehow, he feels even more embarrassed and sad when he thinks you want him to stop talking after looking at the tired and confused expression you have when he's trying to help you. The thing is you hate when people do that to Spence and would spend years just listening to his voice.

genre: fluff

pairing: Early seasons!Spencer Reid x bau!reader

warnings: mentions of the team shutting Spencer down. Derek and JJ being a little mean to him when he's spreading information. Spencer being a cutie potato. Mention of a stomachache and its causes (mention of miscarriage as one of the causes, but nothing happens). Reader not being a native english speaker, but just a slight mention.

a/n: Dr. Spencer Reid is a genius.... I am not. I literally had to search for information and copy-paste here in some parts, so if there's misinformation, it's Google's fault, lmao. I wrote this yesterday when I was about to sleep, so I'm sorry if something is wrong with the writing (even though I already edited). English isn't my first language, please be kind <3.

Navigation Criminal Minds masterlist Spanish ver. On Wattpad (coming soon)

Spencer and you arrived early that morning. He hated being late for anything. He couldn't afford to be late if he wanted to stick as closely as possible to his assigned schedule, especially because he took public transport. On the other hand, you had no choice but to arrive early when you woke up at four in the morning thanks to a severe stomachache and couldn't go back to sleep.

That's how your conversation started. Your genius workmate was surprised to see you, first hour in the morning, when he walked in the office, even before Hotch arrived.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. You couldn't deny that the expression was too cute for your own good.

“Yeah… I think so. It's not even the stomach ache that bothers me, it's the fact that even if I was sleepy, I couldn't fall asleep again. You know? That happens to me a lot. Once I open my eyes, I can't go back to sleep. I've also been feeling mildly unwell for a week, but even though the medication is controlling it, it doesn't stop."

At this point, he already set up his desk, leaving his briefcase on his own chair to walk over to you and sit at your desk, next to the chair you were sitting in, to listen to you attentively and answer.

“The brain works with different phases of sleep: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM sleep. The cycle usually restarts every eighty to one hundred minutes, and we typically have four to six cycles each night.”

Hotch came out of the elevator and walked upstairs after both of you waved at him, and he let out a soft “good morning”. Emily arrived a few seconds later. You greeted her too, as she took place on her desk, but that didn't stop your conversation.

“So, it's completely normal that we wake up in the middle of the night because of that process, but if it is frequent, for three months or more, it may be a symptom of insomnia.”

Your view went to the floor, and your head nodded in a semi-unconscious movement, because although you knew that your sleep cycle was ruined by work, you had not come to that conclusion, maybe that was it.

“Now, the stomachache…” He said, taking one pen from your pencil case to concentrate. He usually never took other people's belongings or shared his own stuff because of the germs, but somehow, after a few years of working together, he had come to have a good amount of closeness with you to borrow some stuff from you. Months ago, it hadn't gone unnoticed by Penelope that Spencer had a box full of pens reserved for you, in case you needed one, nor the fact that he denied JJ one of them once, when the blonde girl needed something to write with quickly.

“The causes can be the most common, such as gas, indigestion, a muscle injury, or stress. Although there are also more serious causes: gastrointestinal infections, inflammatory bowel disease, irritable bowel syndrome, ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage..."

“Wow, what are you trying to do? Scare her?” Derek's voice invaded the place and Emily smirked.

“What? No, I'm just saying the possibilities…” Spencer whispered, looking down, a little worried that he might actually scared the person he cared more, besides his mom.

“It's okay.” You answer loud enough so your friends and coworkers would hear. “Thanks, Spence. I already went to the doctor, so I have none of… those.” I gave him a little smile. “But about stress…” The sentence hung in the air, so Spencer looked up and continued speaking automatically.

“Stress can cause stomach pain because the autonomic nervous system of the gastrointestinal tract reacts to the same hormones and neurotransmitters as the brain. This is because the digestive system is connected to the nervous system, and the enteric nervous system, which is located in the digestive system, is able to send and receive impulses and assimilate emotions.” He started to talk faster.

Your focus on the genius boy and his explanation was sincere, but maybe it was the fact that you didn't rest well, plus the fact that he was speaking too fast and not vocalizing all the syllables, that for a moment your brain didn't process what he was saying.

It was weird. At some point you didn't even hear words, just sounds from his mouth. That didn't happen to you for a really long time because you already had experience with the native speakers, even if english wasn't your mother language. The exhausting feeling of not being able to sleep well was definitely to blame.

While your brain was coming to that conclusion, Spencer could only see your furrowed brow, tense jaw, tilted head, and dissociated look.

“You want me to shut up, right?” That whisper was enough for you to come back to reality. His cheeks were red and his eyes looked a little sad, not to mention the way his mouth formed a line like whenever he felt awkward.

“Yes, please!” Derek answered instead, leaning back in his seat and looking up with his arms outstretched as if he'd had to deal with seven unsubs in the five minutes he'd been there, listening from his place to the information Spencer was giving you.

“Little genius boy got excited… again.” JJ said, looking at some documents in front of her, opening her eyes wide in an expression of tiredness and disinterest.

The young profiler stood up from your desk thinking about returning to his chair, a little embarrassed, but you took his pinky with yours —that way you wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable in case he wasn't in the mood for physical touch, something he refused unless it was you. Again, another special treat—. “Wait. It wasn't like that.” Hazel eyes looked at you intently, still with a bit of doubt. “I'm sorry Spencer. Yes, you got excited, but that's not something bad.”

“It isn't?” He questioned.

“No, but you started to speak fast, and the fact that there are some words that I have a hard time processing in English and I couldn't quite catch what you were saying because I didn't sleep enough, well, that distracted me. Would you mind repeating it again, slower?” This time, you were the one with warm cheeks.

“Oh. Are you sure you don't want me to shut up?” The boy was actually intrigued and a little surprised.

“Why would I want that?” The fact that your teammates often shut Spencer up when he tried to share extra information, or information that he had been asked about, was something you had noticed from the moment you started working with the team. You thought that was rude. You understood that sometimes Spencer got excited, gave information that was perhaps better saved for another time since you were investigating a case, or people could be tired and want silence, but the team either silenced him or made fun of him most of the time. Plus, there weren't many other things you liked more than hearing his voice.

The sweet, soothing tone of his words helped you sleep on the jet after a long case, or made you want to hear more about whatever he was talking about. Feeling like he was sharing with you, a mere mortal, some of the vast knowledge he had was nice.

“I'm always happy to hear whatever you need to say, even if it's about something I don't understand. And, right now, you are helping me a lot, so, please, don't shut up.” The crimson color returned to the tall boy's face, this time not because he was uncomfortable. Your kind and somewhat complicit smile made his heart race, like almost every time he was with you. Spencer knew that no matter how tired he got, he would never shut up if you wanted him to keep talking.

[princesssmars]

better leave your man at home!

mini stories of vi, sevika, abby, and ellie showing you your true worth.

wc : 7.306

contains : sfw and nsfw. fxf. fem!reader. cheating on the men's part until ellie's part lol. ellie’s is a modern!au the rest are in canon. mentions of violence and alcohol. silco but he's chill. owen but he's not chill. reader can be interpreted as bi or comphet i think!

a/n : ladies if you're reading this...cheat on him. or cheat back. yknow what just leave him.

VIOLET ꨄ

ʚɞ ever since getting out of prison and restarting her life, vi had been looking for a new purpose.

ʚɞ she had found a solid job, managed to reconnect with wither last siblings left alive, and started to build up a life for herself, but still, she felt...aimless. she longed for a deeper connection than the ones she had, someone she could yet again.

ʚɞ and then she meets you, a sweet little store owner with a voice that sounds like a symphony and an attitude as sweet as cookies. the first time she even met you she bumped into you on the street outside your bakery, knocking you supplies for your treats all over the ground. she's expecting that usual zaunite 'watch where you're going!' but instead you tell her not to worry, that you were carrying too many things anyway.

ʚɞ it was almost instinct for her to assure you she was at fault, downright demanding she help you carry everything that dropped inside and that it was the least she could do. you call her a sweetheart and tell her if she does you'll send her home with a plate of her favorite dessert. how could she say no?

ʚɞ she cant help but to quickly hang out with you whenever she can. after her shifts she stops by to help you close up, telling you its the least she could do for someone who was oh-so sweet. you seem to welcome her affections, whispering one late night when making some extra batter that you always appreciate when she stops by. she goes home on a high that night.

ʚɞ but then the worst thing ever happens. you get a boyfriend.

ʚɞ apparently he's some old family friend who moved back to the city when he found a small fortune overseas and was ready to come back to 'win you over like he tried years ago'. you told the story with a slightly wistful voice but all vi could do was nod along with wide eyes and a shut mouth.

ʚɞ eventually, she meets the guy, a tall and rather weasly looking guy who was waiting impatiently outside the store. she gave him a simple greeting and all he could do was tilt his head in recognition that she was there, apparently. she passed him and went to the back of the store and asked you what he was doing standing outside looking all suspicious. her eyes nearly bulged out of her head when you told her he was waiting to take you out but had to stand outside because he couldn't stand the smell of bread.

ʚɞ yeah, this definitely wasn't gonna last long. she’d just have to get you to see that.

ʚɞ sadly, she didn't have to do much work. ton a sunny day when the two of you were walking through the upper city levels together you stopped in your tracks, a talking vi whose arm was wrapped with yours questioning what made you stop before following your eyesight to see your boyfriend in the arms of another woman, way too close for comfort. vi wanted nothing more in that moment than to go and knock the bastard's lights out, but she had to prioritize you first.

ʚɞ you go into a depression for a week, your shop closed and your apartment locked as you skulk and cry in your home. but thankfully you gave vi a key not too long into your friendship, and she wakes you up one afternoon and demands you go and clean yourself up while she takes care of your chores.

ʚɞ you come out of the shower feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, your mood only lifting higher at the smell of cookies in the air. you pad out to the kitchen and cant help but smile when you see vi standing with a tray of perfectly made chocolate chip cookies on the island counter.

ʚɞ you sit up on your counter and moan at the taste of the cookies, vi accepting your praise of her baking skills with pride as she rubs over your bare thighs. eventually the topic steers to your recent heartbreak and vi makes sure you can complain and vent to her all you want.

ʚɞ but the last thing she wants to hear is you blaming yourself, teary-eyed and mumbling about how maybe you were too overbearing in your affections. she gently but sternly brings your attention to her, making sure you look her in the eyes when she goes on about how you’re the nicest and most soft-natured person she’s ever known and he was a fool to not see what an amazing woman he had in front of him.

ʚɞ and you cant help but feel even worse at the clear effect her affection has on you, unconsciously biting her lip at her praise and closeness. her eyes dart down to your lips and back to your eyes, slowly inching her head forward for permission. as soon as you slightly nod your head she’s kissing you with months of pent-up adoration, warmth, and lust.

ʚɞ a small part of you feels guilty for moving on to your close friend only a week after you broke up with your boyfriend, but when her fingers are drifting down to your cunt and making you cry as you cum over and over again, you can't find it in you to care.

ʚɞ “he was an idiot to give up on someone as sweet as you. but down worry muffin, i’m not gonna take that chance.”

SEVIKA ꨄ

ʚɞ sevika had made a promise to herself years ago: don't mess with married women.

ʚɞ she could give herself some grace, she was young and dumb, and the woman was incredibly gorgeous. and when a woman with legs that could bring any person woman or man to their knees comes up to you and asks you your plans for the night, you cant exactly pass up the opportunity. though she wishes she did after her partner caught them together in bed and she got in one of the worst fights of her life.

ʚɞ but she had to admit things in her life were getting a bit…stale, to say the least. her schedule was a steady routine of doing tasks for silco, reeling in jinx, and keeping the last drop working like a well-oiled machine. she didn't want anything drastic that would screw up their plans to happen, just…something.

ʚɞ and oh, does she get it. some out of towner got too rowdy in the bar and started a bar fight and before she could come in and get things under control theirams leg gets broken. so now she’s tasked with finding a good enough replacement to cover him for the few months it gets healed since he for some reason couldn't just take a shimmer dose and get back on his feet in no time.

ʚɞ she goes through dozens of recruits, all either too disobedient or downright atrocious behind a bar. she’s just about to give up and force one of the goons to do it when you come through the door. you’re rather unassuming, and at first she things you’re joking until you travel behind the bar and instruct her to give you any drink and you can make it. after ten different drinks she’s more than convinced.

ʚɞ she doesn't talk to you much at first, you’re just another cog in the machine that keeps the enterprise running smoothly. obviously she’s noticed that you’re attractive, surrounded by a stern but easy-going aura that makes most customers sit and want to talk to you for hours on end. it amused her when she watched how you convinced three different patrons to buy some more drinks so you’d continue telling them a wild story of some adventure you apparently had in bilgewater years back.

ʚɞ she can't help but ask you if its true later when the bar is closing and you’re wiping everything down, rolling her eyes when you call her out for listening to your conversations. you reveal that all your stories of adventure and excitement are true, but that you gave that life up when you decided to settle down after you get married.

ʚɞ she scoffs that the woman you married must be a hell of a catch to get you to leave behind such an exciting life, and she sees your eyes drop when you reveal that life with your husband is a nice and quiet alternative to your days of danger. sevika’s always had a good poker face, and she’s really glad she has it now after hearing you gave up all of that for a guy. and that her gaydar was apparently wrong, which never happens.

ʚɞ but its almost like this is the challenge her mind has been looking for, because after that conversation she keeps having late-night talks with you when no one else is around. you’re disarmingly easy to talk to, able to show a compassion and understanding that isn’t common for the folks down here. its only a few hours after she gets a bit too tipsy and accidentally lets slip a story about her upbringing that she lays in bed and slaps her human hand to her forehead in frustration when instead of being embarrassed all she can think about is your soft hand gently rubbing her shoulder as she poured her heart out.

ʚɞ she is so screwed.

ʚɞ eventually, you draw silco’s attention. mostly because the profits from the bar have nearly doubled since you started working, partly because he can tell a certain someone is distracting sevika. he gave her a list of tasks one day that he could tell she hated doing and she went off with a nod and without a word, and she either had a new woman in her life or she was about to snap. he made sure to find out about you a few minutes later, and asked/demanded to know more about your life. in particular, any outside connections you had.

ʚɞ sevika doesn't know whether she wants to thank silco or kill him when you’re given a more permanent position at the bar and finally introduce the crew to your husband, a man who silco has apparently given a job in his booking department. when sevika pulls him aside later to ask why he would od something like that, he just. shrugs. silco never just shrugs.

ʚɞ now that you’ve basically part of their little crime family it's even easier for sevika to spend more time with you. unfortunately for you jinx has taken a liking to you, but you handle it well and always make sure to give the girl her favorite drink in her favorite cup whenever she stops in the bar to babble on about some new weapon of mayhem she’s decided to make.

ʚɞ but after a few weeks she notices your mood start to sour, how you start getting snippy with some of the more rowdy drunks who stumble through the bar. she catches you a few hours after closing sat behind the bar with a half drunken bottle in your hand and mascara running down your cheeks. normally if this was anyone else she’d scoff to herself and quickly make her exit but instead she plops herself down next to you and demands you tell her what's wrong. through hiccups and tears, you tell her that you’re pretty sure your husband is lying to you. about a lot. in particular about where he spends his nights and comes back grumbling about ‘unfair bets’ and losing cash.

ʚɞ sevika assures you she’ll get to the bottom of it, and it only takes her a few hours of trailing thee guy to find out the problem. it seems your betrothed has been gambling your money away in seedy gambling circles, with some guys she swore she told to cut it out months ago when it came to rigging their dice when playing with tourists. but the amounts he’s using are definitely more than what either of you are making on a salary.

ʚɞ she tries not to smile when she picks the excuse of a man up by the back of his neck with her mech hand, reveling in the horrified look on his face as he makes up excuse after excuse for why he’s been stealing money from you and the boss, that he swears he’ll make it back up to silco-

ʚɞ you come in the next day as confused as ever, whispering that your husband packed up his things in the middle of the night and disappeared. sevika sits you down and explains that your husband was a thief, stealing hundreds from silco rather sloppily under his nose, and was dealt with in a timely manner. but she assures you that you won't be affected by any debts he may have had, she’ll make sure of it and make sure none of those gamblers come after you.

ʚɞ you only grow closer and closer after that night, and its no surprise you start to catch feelings for the gorgeous woman who constantly makes sure you’re safe and protected. its on one of the bars rather more exciting nights that you relent and play a drinking game with some members of the crew, and in a moment of weakness accidentally admit that since your husband left you haven't been laid in weeks, and in an additional moment of weakness admit that the first person you’d like to rock your world would be none other than silco’s second hand.

ʚɞ it was just your luck that the woman was walking by when the words left your lips, and fueled by her own dose of liquid courage came up behind you and whispered that she was free at that moment.

ʚɞ you expected many things when you settled down in zaun, and getting bent in half for hours on end by the second in command to the rule of the underground was not one of them. but when sevika groans in your ear and moans about how you have the tightest pussy she’s ever had the pleasure of taking, you’re really glad it happened to you.

ʚɞ “god, i’m really not gonna be able to stay away from you now. promise that the next time you get married you’re not gonna have to worry about being disappointed ever again.”

ʚɞ (when sevika walks in the next morning with a rare smile on her face silco does admit that he hired your husband knowing he’d be an idiot that she’d have to get rid of. you’re welcome.)

ABBY ꨄ

ʚɞ abby never saw herself as a jealous person. she’d only been in one relationship before, and even though it ended rather sourly she knew it was only natural that they’d both eventually move on. but when she sees you, a new wlf recruit walking and smiling side by side with owen, she feels…weird. really weird.

ʚɞ she does feel bad that as soon as he introduces you all to the group at a small party thrown by some of the soldiers all she can manage is tight-lipped smile and a small wave. you visibly deflate and smile it off, immediately pulled away by nora and leah to grab some drinks. manny butts her shoulder with his, giving her that ‘what the hell?’ look he loves to do. she defensively apologizes, because how should she react? her ex-boyfriend clearly has a thing for you, is she supposed to be all buddy buddy with you?

ʚɞ it doesn't help that its clear to everyone that you’re pretty. like, weirdly pretty for someone in the middle of an apocalyptic setting. crystal clear skin, smooth lips, and eyes of a beautiful shade. she caught herself staring once in the gym as you laughed with one of the trainers and had to quickly get herself together.

ʚɞ isaac must be playing a sick game because you then get assigned to go with her on patrol. she initially resented, questioning why you were tagging along when you mostly worked with the medics and mel was already trailing along. he said that apparently you had asked for the chance to get some more field practice and left it at that, dismissing her with a wave.

ʚɞ she was quiet for most of the ride to the patrol spot, hands tight on the steering wheel as you sat in the back of the truck with the others in the group and laughed at some story one the guys was talking about.

ʚɞ god, even your laugh is cute, she thinks as she carefully maneuvers the truck around a downed tree. youre like if a dream girl was placed down in this wasteland to torture her, a giant sign to tell her of course owen went after you, you were perfect. more perfect than she could be.

ʚɞ it isnt helpful that shes left partnered with you as you clear out the abandoned store in the strip mall they've all been sent to check and re-clear the spaces if necessary. she finds herself frustrated when you very reasonably and very smartly stick to her side the whole time. she swears she almost trips over an overgrown branch when she catches a whiff of your soap and she doesnt know where the hell you managed to snag vanilla flavored anything.

ʚɞ everything is fine for a while. you both remain vigilant as you walk through the barely lit aisles of the department store, the only action when a clicker jumps up out of nowhere and nearly tackled you before she’s roughly pushing you out of the way and kicking out its knees before bashing in its head with her boot. she’s panting and catching her breath before roughly asking if you were alright and reminding you to stay vigilant, taking your wide eyed stare for shock at a close encounter to what would be a rather painful death.

ʚɞ but despite her rather abrasive attitude you try your best to be friendly with her. you reveal that owen did confide about their past relationship, and as awkward as the situation sometimes was you wouldn’t let it drive a wedge between you, that you in fact wanted to be friends with abby. you had heard a great many things about her, how she was a loyal friend, a courageous leader, clearly an incredibly strong soldier-

ʚɞ her brain. short circuits a bit. the way you called her strong, like it was fact that was so obvious that she’d already proven it to you just by being out here. sure she’d pushed you of out the trajectory of that clicker but that was normal, anyone should and would do the same. she realizes you wouldn’t get the chance to see any displays of strength like that back in the base save for the visits to the gym, and a foreign voice in her head laments what a shame that is.

ʚɞ she doesn’t realize until a day later just how screwed she is.

ʚɞ whatever weird…feelings she has for you don’t even get a chance to go away or settle, just fester and multiply with your constant presence. where abby is her friends are close by, and that now includes you. at small get togethers, shared gym workouts, breakfast lunch and dinner hangouts, you’re always there with a bright smile and a warm greeting for her. she thinks she’s hiding whatever it is she’s hiding pretty well until nora pulls her to the side and asks why she just keeps staring at you whenever you’re around, that she understand there might be some lingering feelings of jealousy and resentment towards owen but that’s no reason to treat you rudely.

ʚɞ abby stumbles over her words, insisting that she’s not treating you rudely, that’s the last thing she would want to do. who would ever do that to someone as nice and sweet and gorgeous as you? she ends her mini explanation with a stiff chuckle and looks at nora who’s now staring at her with an open mouth and a flabbergasted look on her face.

ʚɞ so it’s clear that abby likes you. she doesn’t know how to grapple with the fact, and decides its best to just deal with it privately and wait for it to just pass as most things do. the only person who knows is nora, who after not talking to her for a few hours after their last encounter came back to abby’s room to apologize for walking out on her in a moment where they so clearly needed to talk more about what was just revealed. she assures abby that she’ll help her through this but it’s very confusing to herself as well. it’s not every day you have to deal with your best friend falling in love with her boyfriends new girlfriend.

ʚɞ she doesn’t agree with abby’s method, frequently telling her that dealing with this in private will only have the opposite effect. and just like normally she’s right, abby’s increased attempt at distance from you only peaks your worry and drives you to constantly check in on her to make sure she’s okay. one day you come by her room after one of your workouts, and the sight of you covered in a thin sheen of sweat in shorts and a tank asking her sweetly if she’s feeling okay and if she’d like to join you for lunch let’s her know for sure that she really can’t do this for much longer.

ʚɞ so she’s tries her best to try a different approach : exposure therapy. as bad as it sounds, she’s sure once she starts spending more time with you she’ll realize you aren’t some mythical girl of of her dreams and are just a normal person who’s dating her ex and who she can totally just be normal friends with. she comes up to you in the halls a few days later and asks if you’d like her to help you train for more field work and you beam up at her before wrapping your arms around her neck and thanking her a multitude of times before composing yourself. you go one about how you were so eager to prove yourself and you’d do no better than to have the abby anderson teaching you the basics. she zoned out as soon as she felt your skin against the back of her neck, nodding along to all of your words with a doe-eyed blank look.

ʚɞ it’s really nice bonding with you over the course of a few short weeks. you quickly pick up on the things she teaches you, and whatever you don’t she’s more than eager to help you learn. she hates to admit it but her conscious cheered a little bit when you told her you needed help aiming one of the bigger rifles, and it nearly screamed when she got to place herself behind you and helped you aim at the target practice. maybe she’s a bit delusional at this point but she swears she felt your body relax into hers, felt your breath stutter just a bit when her chest met your back.

ʚɞ and she knows it’s serious when she trusts you enough to share her space in the library. it’s a night when manny has a girl over so she’s in her usual cozy spot surrounded by the book shelves when she shears your gentle footsteps and call of her name, remarking that you initially went to the room out of loneliness about owen being gone for the night but came here when a breathless and shirtless manny told you her usual sleepover spot. she invites you to settle in with her in her heap of old blankets surrounded by dusty novels, trying her best to remain calm when you lean your head on her shoulders and insisted she keep reading her current book aloud.

ʚɞ she wakes up to the early morning light with her head rested on top of yours, snuggled up to battle the chill of the stadium air and your hand clamped around her arm. when she looks down at your face and wishes she could see you like this every day she realizes that she is really, really screwed.

ʚɞ luckily she doesn’t have to wait long to see you like that again. well, the circumstances are rather horrid. yet another soldier was having small secret party ok one of the larger stadium dorms and you were glued to abby’s side. everyone besides nora was confused but happy that the two of you seemed to be getting along so well, and nora herself kept giving abby looks that were a mixture between pity, worry, and just a bit of ‘you need to just get this off of your chest to anyone else but me’ annoyance.

ʚɞ abby was your designated drink manager, constantly making sure you weren’t too drunk and were drinking enough water to stave off any of the negative effects of the smuggled in alcohol they brought in for the party. you’re both sitting on one of the couches and observing the party when you make an off handed comment about not seeing owen for a while and abby decides to sit you down snuggly on the couch while she goes to look for him to appease your tipsy haze. her search leads her down the hallway, and it’s only when she hears an object drop in a nearby maintenance closet does she find out the truth.

ʚɞ she whips open the door to see owen and mel in a rather…well, let’s just say a really lewd position. in the midst of being disgusted and infuriated she finds a bit of amusement at mousy mel of all people doing a drunken hookup in a dingy closet. owen hurriedly tries to fix himself and his pants, insisting to abby that it’s not what it looks like, and suddenly his eyes lock on an object behind her and she turns around to see you, teary eyed and clearly betrayed before you silently stoop off to the direction of your own room.

ʚɞ abby is normally a calm person. as a soldier she isn’t afforded the luxury to let her emotions get the better of her in moments of stress. but seeing you with tears in your eyes and a wobbly lip makes her wish she broke owen’s nose on the spot. collecting all of her composure, she slaws the closet door in his face and quickly runs after you.

ʚɞ she quickly chases after you, making her way down the stadium halls until she finds your bedroom door agape, quickly knocking and entering when she hears your quiet cry demanding owen leave. she makes sure to announce who she is once she settles in beside you on your bed, gently extending her hands to make sure shes allowed to physically comfort you before pulling you into a tight hug once you let her know it’s okay.

ʚɞ she had again struggles to keep her composure when you cry into her shoulder, not minding the tears staining her t-shirt when she hears you weep about what a fool you wer, how you were such an idiot to believe that someone like him could truly care about you.

ʚɞ in the morning, she can blame the weeks of pent up feelings, or maybe the cup of beer she had an hour before, but she can’t stop herself from grabbing your shoulders and turning you towards her, commanding your attention before she reveals that should’ve warned you about owen earlier, that she should’ve known he would take advantage of someone with as sweet a nature as you. She’s always known he was a fool, but to ruin his chances of someone like you is the dumbest thing he ever could’ve done.

ʚɞ when you sniffle and look up at her with those shiny eyes and puffy lips and ask her if that’s true she feels her composed facade slipping, hands shaky as she reaches up to wipe your tears away before letting her palm letting her fingers trail down your face, biting her lip when she sees your eyelids flutter closer when her hands start to ghost down your neck.

ʚɞ she doesn’t feel sorry when she watches you take off your top, doesn’t feel guilt when she pushes you down to the bed and lets her lips bite and kiss from your neck to her chest and draw out all manners of whines and gasps from your throat. and when she feels your hips lift up and grind into her crotch, when her hands attach themselves to your hips and forces you to bring yourself to an orgasm in your pants, she doesn’t give a shit how it’ll seem when she parades you around the stadium tomorrow.

ʚɞ manny and nora are open mouthed and shocked when you walk hand in hand into the cafeteria the next morning, both starry eyed and covered in love bites as you sit together nearly attached at the hip. when owen walks in a few minutes later and quickly storms out after seeing the two of you, abby can’t help but shrug when manny asked her what the hell is going on.

ʚɞ “owen had his chance, and he should learn that jealously is a monster.”

ELLIE ꨄ

ʚɞ in moments like these ellie remembers laughing at how her fellow lesbians would fall for their straight friends in middle and high school and end up with broken hearts and broken friendships. and now as she sits across from you and listens to you lament about your boyfriend, she realizes that karma is real and she is totally a bitch.

ʚɞ truly, she has no one to blame, but herself the moment she saw you walk into the record store she worked at she knew that this would only lead to trouble for herself. It was obvious to Dina, who lightly pushed his shoulder and told her to stop drooling and to focus on her work and not fall into another relationship so soon after her catastrophic breakup with cat. she had rolled her eyes at the brunette and assured her nothing would happen, that she’d politely introduce herself, help you buy a product, and never think about or see you again.

ʚɞ god, what an idiot she was.

ʚɞ as soon as she introduced herself, you complemented her tattoo, mention that you had wanted one but were too indecisive about a design and placement. before she can even think of what she wants to say she’s telling you that wouldn’t mind hooking you up with her tattoo artist who could help you decide what you wanted. hell, she wouldn’t mind helping you decide what kind of vibe you were going for when it came to the body art and where exactly on your body would be best to showcase it.

ʚɞ you’re beaming up at her and thanking her, telling her that she really is just too kind. she’s even kinder when she continues to talk to you as she helps you look through the store, helping you decide which record would be best for your collection.

ʚɞ and helping you pick out another record as a gift. for your boyfriend. she can hear dina snicker at the counter all the way from three aisles away, passing it off as allergies when you turn to look at her.

ʚɞ but it’s not like she’s gonna fall for you. she gives you her number, but that’s because she already promised she’d help you with the tattoo stuff. and sure she talks with you for hours the following week and even goes with you to the parlor for moral support, but that’s because she’s a good person! and you even told her she’s a great friend for helping you with this! she’s just being friendly.

ʚɞ soon enough she basically becomes your new best friend. she doesn’t know how it happened really, somewhere between helping you when your car broke down in the middle of the road and having dinner with your parents when they demand to meet the person who’s been taking up an extra chunk of their daughters time. it’s frightening how easy it is to just be with you, to talk to you about any and everything. she remembers it took dina pestering her at work for weeks for them to become friends, and here she is laughing with your dad over roasted chicken after a month.

ʚɞ dina and jesse call her delusional. when the former shows the latter a picture of you on the instagram account you have to ellie he folds over in laughter and tells ellie oh so eloquently that she’s definitely going to fall for you, it’s only inevitable. but she remains vigilant that she wouldn’t do something so dumb. i mean yeah you’re basically exactly her type, like a deity went into one of her wet dreams and plucked the woman she manifested and placed you in the real world, but she was strong. there were plenty of fish in the sea. plenty of gay fish, to be exact.

ʚɞ she tries to go on dates, scrolls through tinder and likes every other attractive viable woman she sees. she even manages to have a few hookups. its really just a coincidence that they have some of your similar characteristics, truly. she’s not actually looking for you in any of these girls, that’d just be weird.

ʚɞ but then it happens. she has a girl over, her leg thrown over her shoulder as she grinds herself into the pretty girl’s cunt. she’s lost in a high after the blunt they’d shared earlier and her heads thrown back as she’s letting out expletive after expletive, and then she does it. she moans your name. she pauses, the girl pauses, and its silent as they remove their entangled limbs from each other and rigidly lay in bed side by side. it hurts even worse than the embarrassment when the girl pats her shoulder with a smile after she’s put her clothes back on, wishing her luck with whatever’s goin on between the two of you.

ʚɞ there’s no point in denying it then. she doesn't even get the chance to keep it to herself, the next day when she’s watching a movie on your couch you poke and prod at her until she reveals what’s got her in such a sour mood. she doesn't tell you the full story, of course, just that something absolutely mortifying happened last night when she was riding some girl. she groans that she didn't even get to finish and that was way worse then what she said, hoping the joke will ease some of the embarrassment she has telling the story and the guilt about passively lying to you.

ʚɞ she doesn't notice how you hips shift in your seat, how your teeth bite at the skin of your lip. she does notice when you question what she meant by riding a girl. she cant help but think about how adorable you are before explaining the position in the nicest way possible. you hum and turn your attention back to the movie and she thinks that's the end of the conversation. but only seconds later you’re asking her to show you.

ʚɞ she thinks she's dreaming. no, she knows she's dreaming. its happened before, weird dreams she has after a strong high where she swears her dreams become all the more vivid and lifelike. it was super annoying the second time it happened, she woke up to a world where she in fact did not win the lottery and get to make out with her celebrity crush. but this is just cruel, she didn't know her brain could be so masochistic. but no, the feel of your hand shaking her shoulder and shyly asking if you’ve made her uncomfortable is real, your big eyes flitting to anywhere but hers is real.

ʚɞ she stutters over her words, asking if you really mean it. and you say yeah, you’d been curious about this anyway. it wouldn't hurt to do it with ellie, you were friends, right? and god what an idiot she was because she’s nodding along like of course, this couldn’t make your friendship weird at all, right? so she gets to work, not doing anything too lewd except for gently pushing you to lie on your back as she maneuvers her body over yours, placing her crotch over yours until she can feel the heat of you through her jeans. she tries not to show a reaction to the sight of you looking up at her, curious and flushed as your hand briefly comes up to rest on her hip. its only when your hips delicately press up into hers that she abruptly removes herself from on top of you, stiffly chuckling before recommending you get back to the movie.

ʚɞ neither of you bring it up again.

ʚɞ it’s so much more difficult to be around you now. before she was resolute in the fact that she was alone in whatever weird feelings she had towards you, but eventually she might move on. but with only a few actions you threw that whole viewpoint out the window. now it was clear that you were interested. maybe not in ellie but in sex with another woman. a small part of her is upset at the fact it might not be her. its only cliche that if you started having these feelings you’d fall for your gay best friend, who the hell else were you thinking about? whatever, that wasn't important.

ʚɞ what was important was what occurred over the next few weeks. it happens slowly but surely, your complaints about your intimate troubles with your boyfriend. now ellie had met the guy before, and it made her feel slightly better that she had a valid reason right from the start not to like him. the man was clearly an ass, looking her up and down the first time they met and giving her a ‘yeah you’re weird’ look that he apparently didn’t think she’d recognize. luckily she didn’t have to see him often, only seeing him in passing when she spent time with you at yours or picked you up to go hang out.

ʚɞ but now his weirdness is apparently front and center. she nearly chokes on her chipotle when you tell her that he questioned why the two of you were spending so much time together, feeling like ellie was going to make a move on you.

ʚɞ and yeah, it was offensive. just because she was a lesbian didn’t mean she wanted to jump the bones of every woman she met. unfortunately that didn’t apply here because she very much did want to jump your bones. not like he knew that. hopefully.

ʚɞ but she doesn’t want to get in the way of your relationship, begrudgingly recommending that maybe the two of you should spend some time apart so he can chill out and realize he’s being paranoid. she’s very happy to hear your quick rebuttal, remarking how you’d rather dump him then spend any more time away from her.

ʚɞ god you are making this so confusing. and it only reaches a head the next time she sees you. you’d texted her to ask if she could come over late at night and obviously she said she would, along with a bag of your favorite drinks and snacks just in case you got peckish. so she’s sitting on the couch as you both eat some shareable m&ms when the topic becomes a bit more…intimate.

ʚɞ she notices your rigid shoulders as you sit stark straight on the couch and laughs about how pent up you must be. your following laugh is awkward as you agree that you have been a bit stressed lately. so she tells a joke, that your boyfriend isn’t up to par in bed. she expects you to laugh and hit her shoulder but you nod your head.

ʚɞ you…nod your head. and then you turn to her, and she’s getting flashbacks to the last time you were this close on your couch. her face is hot as whisper that the past few times you’ve tried to sleep with your boyfriend he, as you eloquently put it, ‘just pumps and dumps’, and brushes you off whenever you bring up the fact that you haven’t had a release. that as much as it ashamed you to say it, once he falls asleep next to you you sometimes find your hand trailing under your shorts and thinking back to her stories of the hookups she told you about, wishing she could show you how all of that felt.

ʚɞ ellie has always liked your bedroom. its soft and sweet, with vines of fake ivy hanging across the ceiling and a large canopy hanging over the bed. you even have an adorable collection of stuffed animals, a few of them gifted to you by her throughout the months of your friendship. all of the little guys have been shoved to the floor now, and for a fleeting moment she things they’re really just going to have to understand before her mind is consumed again with you, how you’re pretty flushed face is staring and moaning up at her as her wrist nearly cramps with how fast her fingers are pistoning into your wet cunt.

ʚɞ you haven’t even touched her and she’s already on cloud nine. your confession nearly made her pass out, and she swore she had died and gone to heaven when you asked her to help you with your problem and grabbed her hand to lead her to your bed. it was like her horniest dream come true to see you undress, to feel over your skin, to lower her head to your pussy and try her best to suck out your soul in the most loving way possible.

ʚɞ she feels her boxers get soaked when you cum around her fingers again, legs wrapping around her waist and head raising to muffle your sounds in her shoulder. she swore she nearly came when you bit into her shoulders, already knowing she was going to look into the mirror later to look at the mark your teeth left on her with a smile. but she didn’t predict for you to be so insatiable, for as soon as she pulls her fingers out of your cunt you’re whining and grinding your hips up into hers, whispering little *‘please, el, need more’*s

ʚɞ “don’t worry, baby, i’ll give you whatever you want. swear once i’m done you’re never even gonna think of that stupid boyfriend of yours again.”

[confuzing]

"We're rebooting the multiverse?" the new hire asked, sounding like he didn't believe her.

Mei nodded. "Well, part of it. It's actually not that big of a deal? It happens a lot- especially the PIDW subsystem. I blame the Prime."

"You're talking about Luo Binghe right? One of the other guys was saying he ripped something?"

"The coding of the multiverse- hence the restart," she said. "And there's lots of Luo Binghes." To prove her point she stopped at the observation window for Room 668G.

The new guy blinked in shock at all the Luo Binghes inside, mostly disciple Binghes, though there were a smattering of fluffy puppies in the room too.

"Are those?"

"Bingpups yeah- look the multiverse is vast - this isn't anywhere near the weirdest thing I've seen."

"How do you know who the Prime is if there's so many?"

A good question. "It varies by section but the PIDW section goes with the guy living the original novel. You read it right?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Mei continued down the long hall. "Anyway we figured out which one he was because he doesn't seem to have a husband?"

"A what??"

"Let me explain," Mei said. "So it's kinda weird but in literally every iteration after the Prime, Luo Binghe has a husband- it's all the same guy too- and all the Luo Binghes are desperately in love with their husbands and vice versa. But the Prime just... doesn't have one. Like you'd think having a bunch of overpowered demons around would be more of an issue but the little ones are very polite and the rest of them chill out tremendously when you pair them up with their husband."

"But Prime doesn't have one." the new guy frowned.

Mei shook her head. "Not that we've found anyway. Believe me the research team is looking. It wasn't a big deal for a while but then there was an... incident. Prime spent ...18 hours I think? In a universe where there was a husband and he got extremely jealous that he didn't have one. So he's been looking for his own ever sense.

"Which causes problems when he's running around in everyone else's world trying to steal and/or bride-nap their husbands," Mei concluded. "He usually does that when he's here too but I haven't heard any alarms today... Here let's peek..."

She deflected the new guy down a side hall, taking him through a series of twisting turns until they stopped outside another holding cell. This one had only one Binghe in it, this one in full Demon Emperor regalia. He was kneeling on the floor with his eyes shut- meditating probably?

"Wow," the new guy said softly.

In the holding cell Luo Binghe Prime's blood red eyes snapped open.

Time to leave! Mei began gently shoving her new coworker away from the window.

"...Can he see us?" the guy asked.

"Oh yeah," Mei said. "Hear us too. Two way mirrors do jack shit for Heavenly Demons. Come on, the boss is waiting for us."

That got the guy to start moving. As they left Mei remembered something.

"Hey, I don't think anyone actually told me your name?"

"Oh they didn't!" New Guy said. "I'm Shen Yuan."

Behind them the alarms on Luo Binghe Prime's cell started beeping rapidly. Thank fuck that wasn't her problem. She just had to get Shen Yuan to part two of his orientation in one piece. Still, wouldn't hurt to just ... She linked their arms and started walking faster.

[insertdisc5]

TIMELOOP GAMES REAL!??!??!!

hi i made a timeloop game called In Stars and Time and this is a whole post about other timeloop games you can also play.

some i liked. some i loved. some i didnt like. all are worth playing and like also listen the second friends and family heard i was making a timeloop game, i got bombarded with timeloop media recs. so here is a sampler in no particular order! NOTE: knowing some of those games are timeloop games is a spoiler. but. you are here. for timeloop games. so timeloop games you shall have

Outer Wilds

If you need to play one timeloop game, it's this one. Please play it blind. I swear to god you won't regret it. it's timeloops in space!!! it makes you think!!! there are so many "HOLY SHIT WAIT I GET IT NOW" moments!!! please just go play it please please please. some of the best environmental storytelling in a game. so many hints in plain sight. JUST PLAY IT

[way more timeloop games under the cut]

Oxenfree

I didn't actually like Oxenfree very much. But also it stayed in my mind for weeks after I finished playing it. that's how you know it's a good game. I really enjoyed the dialogue system in this, and how much the loop affected the characters. and it got so spooky!!!

Hikeback

i'm in the credits for this one because i was one of the inspirations heehee <3 i loved playing it… short little game about trust, self-sabotage, and never-ending cycles. highly recommend it

The Stanley Parable

Listen babes it absolutely counts. I replayed it a bunch while making ISAT, and I got immensely inspired by the dialogue, and how it catches you off guard sometimes? You get SO SO used to the narrator's "All of his coworkers were gone. What could it mean?" at the start of every game, and then for no reason instead it says "A soft wind blew outside and perhaps rain started, and if it did it stopped shortly after. Stanley hoped that he would one day see weather." like WHAT THE FUUUUCK IM GETTING CHILLS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

12 minutes

ok i know we all made fun of this game when it came out because the story is batshit insane HOWEVER!!!!!!!! i REALLY REALLY LOVED how doing the same actions multiple times would have slightly different outcomes. If you battle someone, the first time you get knocked out in one hit and the loop restarts. the second time you try, you evade the first hit, but get knocked out. the third time, you last a little bit longer, and a little bit longer, until you can pretty much hold your own against your enemy. And it applies to so many things in this. Retrying different things to see how they would change was a delight.

this game is also so bad its almost good, and if you're interested you HAVE to play it with friends so you can yell about how bad it is together.

Zero Escape

it's just a good series ok. escape rooms, and also time loops! the 3rd game in particular goes deep into The Math of how timeloops would work, which i think is interesting. sometimes timeloop games just go "yeah you can timeloop dont worry about it" and others go "OK HERE'S THE HOW AND WHY IT WORKS" and both are interesting!

START AGAIN: a prologue

this game has almost everything i could wish for in a timeloop game. depression. lines repeating. dying brings you back. you get new levels and skills because you're aware of the loops but your party members don't. so you get overpowered next to them and they Notice. just. party members who dont know about the loops still noticing something is wrong. you are acting differently than yesterday. you look sad. you are acting weird. you know too much. how did you know where the keys were? how did you know this would happen? what's wrong? talk to us. and oh my god this game has a sequel? which will probably have Actually Everything i could wish for in a timeloop game? i can't wait. who made this? (its me i made this)

Ghost Trick

ok its not really time loops and more time travel and only for 4 minutes HOWEVER!!!! you should play it. you know you should play it because everyone says so. so go play it

Elsinore

im sure its a great game but ive never seen/read hamlet. so thats a failing on my part. because. you absolutely need to know hamlet to understand this game lol i did like the whole "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop"! very fun. or it would be. if i. knew. hamlet

The Forgotten City

a friend kept recommending it to me and i didn't like it. its good! just not for me. but if you like to think a lot you should play it. another "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop" game

Gnosia

Gonna be real. I didn't like the story very much, in part because the game lets you choose your gender but still acts like youre a straight dude. HOWEVER the gameplay was very inspiring to me. Every loop is pretty much just an among us meeting, and you have to find out who the imposters are or everyone dies and you loop again. and sometimes you ARE the imposter, so you need to make sure no one finds out. or you loop again. rules get added as time goes on too. i REALLY loved how quickly the loops stacked up. seeing "loop 100" was such a nice moment. ive been here so long! i tried to recreate that somewhat for my own game…

Loop Hero

Technically not a timeloop game, but a loop game. It still absolutely counts because it's about loops and memories, and what are loops and memories together if not a timeloop. You have your little guy going through a closed loop, battling enemies, getting cards, and making the world whole again by using those cards to make forests, towns, lakes come to life. I am famously a Story First Gameplay Second kinda player, but I did play this 45h for the gameplay alone. I learned a lot about battle balancing and randomness by playing this!

You and Me and Her: A Love Story

you know doki doki litterature club? this came before. and one might say. it's. better. in some parts (and i say that as someone who LOVED ddlc!) i won't say much except it's a dating sim but with timeloops. with a lot of what it implies. why are you dating this girl a second time? a third time? a fourth time? choose another one already! it was such a fascinating game to play, and is incredibly meta in the way it talks about dating sims and visual novels. had a lot of very impactful moments however, i played the hentai version. some of the worst, most cringy sex ive ever read and heard. however, one might say the sex is an integral part of the game and its deconstruction of hentai/dating sims…? no. just play the steam version which doesnt have the horrible sex scenes and you will have a great time i think (or play the hentai version. if you like. to watch. horrible sex scenes???)

Higurashi

knowing this is a timeloop game is a massive spoiler. however, this game is more than a decade old, so,,, honestly if you havent played higurashi what are you doing. i know i just spoiled you on it but i was also spoiled on it and i can GUARANTEE YOU that you will still have an amazing time. one more thing. you gotta play with the original sprites or you're a fake fan

I Was a Teenage Exocolonist

starts as a visual novel/management sim/dating sim kinda thing, until you realize that every replay is a new timeline. so the main character can save people, because they remembered about them dying in a previous one. i wish the timeloop would affect the game/story more (let me find a certain character quicker once ive found them in a previous playthrough!!!), but timeloop aside, it's a very fun game to play!!!

that's it! hope you will find a nice timeloop game you like

[anime-fan-05]

hey love your account ❤️

can you do a headcanon of tanjiro, giyuu, kyojuro, sanemi and muichiro's reacting to reader calling them by their name?

arigatou!

Kimetsu no Yaiba ~Calling them by their first name~

Manga/anime: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Warnings: nothing

(Y/N): your name

Obanai and Tengen's headcanons are here.

K. Tanjiro

At first he won't even realize how you called him: he's used to his friends calling him by his first name

After about two minutes, however, he'll understand what you said

He'll blush deeply and smile sweetly, and he'll asks you: "How did you call me? N-not I mind, you can keep calling me that all you want!"

If you call him by his last name after that day, he'll pout and think you didn't call him because of what he said to you that day

"Can you still call me Tanjiro? I-I didn't want you to stop calling me by my name when I told you that time!"

T. Giyuu

Like Tanjiro, he won't immediately understand you called him by name, so he'll pretend nothing happened and continue doing what he was doing

Nevertheless, after a few minutes he'll realize it

A light dusting of pink will cover his usually pale cheeks and a small smile will make its way onto his face

All day he'll think about you and how his name came from your lips

If you call him by his last name after that day, he'll fear he's done something wrong ("Did I do something wrong? Why did you call me Tomioka and not Giyuu?")

R. Kyojuro

The smile perpetually present on his face will widen even more and an adorable blush will paint his cheeks

If you two are fighting a demon, I feel sorry for him, because Kyojuro will kill him with a huge flame due to what you told him

"Since you call me Kyojuro, can I call you (Y/N)?"

He'll remember that for a very long time, and, every time he thinks about it, he'll blush slightly and his smile will widen

If you call him by his last name after that day, his smile will diminish slightly and he'll think you're angry

S. Sanemi

He'll freez, paralyzed: Sanemi.exe has stopped working; press a button to restart

After he recovers, he'll turn his head away so you won't see how much he'll be blushing

"Are you blushing, SA-NE-MI?" "No! Shut up!"

A huge sense of pride and possession will grow in him and, from that moment on, he'll be more protective of you than he's ever been

If you call him by his last name after that day, he'll ignore you ("Shinazugawa?" "Who are you talking to? I'm Sanemi, not Shinazugawa.")

T. Muichiro

He'll continue to do what he was doing all day, not realizing how you called him

The next day, when you call him by his name again, he'll understand it

Immediately after realizing this, he'll also freeze for a few seconds and his cheeks will turn slightly pink

He'll be distracted more than usual all day thinking about you

If you call him by his last name after that day, he won't notice at first, but then he'll stare at you intently until you start calling him by his name again

💮 Rules 💮 Masterlist 💮

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

chicken scratches ☆

synopsis : katsuki tries to surprise you...but he's taking too damn long !!

an. merry christmas(if you celebrate) n happy holidays yall !! i love my boyfriend as usual,,btw have yall seen that new hori art ??? dreamy sigh my man so stupid..

cw. itty bitty manga spoilers, but otherwise nun !!

when katsuki manages to hold a pencil again and write with his right hand, it looks absolutely horrendous.

switching from writing with their left hand then back to the right one would've been disorienting for most, and it probably was for him, but he didn't show it much aside from the occasional grumble and scoff at his trembling grip. nothing ever holds him back after all.

you sigh "can i—"

"no. don't look yet." katsuki has his back turned to you, sending you a sharp glare. hunched over his little piece of paper like how he'd hide his page from kaminari's peeking eyes during an exam, always so dramatic. he turns around with a huff and you snort with a roll of your eyes.

you had come over to his room after he’d told you to, mumbling out a quick “come over.” over the phone and hanging up before you could say a word.

and so here you were. waiting.

“katsukiiiiiiii—”

“shut up,” your boyfriend grunts, his scribbling sounds harsher, in a bit more of a rush. “so damn impatient..”

“but i wanna see what you wrote !” you kick your legs up in the air, pouting at his back sitting in his office chair. “i’ve been waiting for decades to see you write with that arm again.”

katsuki scoffs out a snarky laugh “yeah, well how do you think i feel ?” you groan, whining at his dark joke, he laughs again. “just stay put. ‘m..almost done.” he trails off, focusing back on his surprisingly long task.

you do know that despite being able to use his arm again, it had gone slow—surely, but really slowly. then again, he originally wouldn’t have been able to use that arm at all, so you’ll honestly take anything.

but the excitement is getting to you, and you really wanna see what he wrote ! so slowly, surely, you quietly try to sneak the short distance to his desk to peek behind his shoulder. however, your boyfriend has some crazy spider senses.

he sighs “if i turn around and you’re not sittin’ your ass on the bed i’ll—HEY !”

busted. katsuki catches you mid creep, so close to seeing his paper until he swiftly turns in his chair. he reaches out with his left hand, reflexively, and grabs a hold of your arm.

“you can’t ever just—do what you’re fuckin’ told ! knew you were being too damn quiet ! ” he complains between gritted teeth, trying to wrestle you away from him.

“i just—wanna see !” you shriek. when he suddenly remembers he can use his right hand again, and it almost feels nostalgic the way he jams it in your side to tickle you, dropping his pencil in the process. you think you hear it rolling on the floor, but your own noises of surprise overpowered the sound. he’d really gotten better at using that arm again, you could cry if your boyfriend wasn’t actively trying to shove his entire hand inside your ribs and push you away.

during the light scuffle, his hurried movements magically make the paper fly away with a harsh whip of his arm and a gust of wind, you thank every god when you notice it, just a second before he does. you’re half sure the world slowed down as you slide down to the floor and clutch the piece of paper in your grasp like the fate of the world depended on it.

the little piece of paper makes your heart jump, with its crumpled up edges and wonky writing and all.

I love you

both the o’s are too long, his u trails off towards the end and the e looks like he'd written it with the pencil in his mouth. it looks nothing like his usual handwriting.

but it was him, unmistakably, undeniably him and all of him and all of his efforts. all his efforts coming down to this. being able to write i love you and to show you.

your heart does more than jump, it restarts in your chest.

harshly, your flipped over by katsuki. he’s red all the way down to his neck and his eyebrows twitch angrily. but his hands, both his hands are gripping your cheeks hard and pulling at them and you can’t help but laugh.

“little shit. can never jus’ lemme be romantic..” he pouts, pouts like the adorable tryharding asshat he is, and you’re so so happy. your cheeks hurt cus he's tugging at them but his right thumb is digging into your cheek. you can feel the little callous on his middle finger because he holds his pencil with too much pressure on it.

“you’re so adorable.” it tumbles out between a watery laugh before you can stop it, katsuki’s jaw ticks and he gets even redder if that was even possible—he uses his right hand to squish your nose shut mid breath so your ears pop.

“shut it, shut up. ya ruined everything.” ducking down, his teeth make contact with your cheek and your chin knocks against his when you jump with a little scream. "i literally just finished. was just about to hand it to you, but noooo—everythin' has to go your way.." he angrily mumbles into your neck.

you press a kiss to his nape and he stiffens "i'm sorry for ruining your perfect surprise." he scoffs, biting at your shoulder. "i'm really happy though, it was unfortunately very worth it."

"you're a fuckin' fiend." he spits out, and you really can't help but laugh "love you too." you snort out, and his hands, both of them squeeze your sides hard, your cheeks hurt and you can't help but laugh.

[autemis]

I just restarted KCD2 and now, with the knowledge of what will happen, something has picked my interest...

(and of course, it's about hansry again!)

The scene, after Henry falls down the cliff and is carried through the woods by Hans, is very interesting. Henry starts to hallucinate (Idk if it’s because of the fall, the pain, the bleeding wound or all combined) about the most traumatic moment in his still young life - the fall of his home and the death of his parents. He has to relive all these gruesome memories once again - all the deaths and horrible things he had to witness, like the slaughtering of his own parents... The life he only knew was taken away from him in a mere minutes-long bloodbath and all of this he had to see once again in front of his inner eye - with just one little difference: Hans.

With Henry babbling in pain because of his trauma, Hans is there and always tries to shield these memories away - tries to break the cycle. He constantly tries to bring Henry back to reality - telling him that he is not alone, that he doesn’t have to be scared and that everything is alright. He also tries to counter the blame Henry places on himself. When Henry says that he betrayed his parents, Hans reminds him that he never had done this to him.

He chooses to never talk about a hypothetical third person - he just speaks about himself. Henry never let him down. He is there for Henry. They can do this together. Hans provides Henry with an anchor - something he can really feel and see, because Hans is right there. That’s nothing to hallucinate about, it’s something undeniable and that’s exactly what Henry needs in this moment because of his condition. Something real, something he can hold on, so he doesn’t lose himself in this nightmare.

Hans is like Henry’s lifeboat in this situation. He not only carries him physically but also mentally through this life-or-death situation. He is the reason why Henry isn’t losing himself and makes it through the night. And not just that, he also shows Henry a different ending to this gruesome day.

Originally, Henry had to leave everything behind - to flee - scared and alone. But this time, Hans was there. He didn’t lose him and he wasn’t alone - they made it together. Even if everything else was lost, they still have each other. This alone will give them a reason to live through tomorrow and many days beyond - to look forward.

And right there, a light is shining through Henry’s dark dream - breaking the hallucination and leading him back to reality. The whole scene where they see the light in the distance is very beautiful, because for Henry, there is not just the real shine from the cabin, it’s also Hans. His acknowledgment of "the light" is not just related to the light in the distance, it’s also Hans - he is the light that leads him out of these bad memories - back to reality. Where he isn’t alone anymore and hope will shine even through the darkest night.

If you think about it, the "heart" options were never flirty. They aren't flattering compliments or smug comments - they are statements. Henry talks about real emotions and fears here. "I'm worried for you", "I care about you", "I think we didn't talk enough" - Henry doesn't want to flatter Hans, he isn't even thinking about that. Tbh, I would say he doesn't even intend for a single second to be "romantic" with Hans. Everything he says is not because he wants to flirt - he is just honest. Those are Henry's real emotions, we chose here.

Something was starting to hit me there—especially after Henry awakened the next day. The first thing he wanted to know from the strange woman he had never seen before in his life, who could potentially be an enemy, was: "What is with Hans?", "Will he make it?", "Will you help him?" He wasn't worried about himself or even aware of his own pain at first, until he was sure about what happened to Hans. Even after he realized and felt that his own body was in bad condition, he got up to help his friend. That's when I started to realize that Hans's romance didn't begin with the choice of the first heart option—because there was never a way for the player to influence the development of emotions or to stop them. They were already there, and the only decision we were allowed to make was whether to give Hans the courage to show them openly in the end and for Henry to understand them.

The other options are mostly jokes or "don't worry" comments - things he says to hide his own fears or to brush off a situation. Statements like "oh come on, just stop talking and move on" don't sound like Henry at all. Henry is caring and nice, he is helpful and always tries to be fair. He fights with his own demons, but he will always put himself aside to fight for someone else's rights. He can be a bit foolish, but he wants to learn as much as possible and listen to people's stories.

For me, it looks like the only "real" romance option is the last one. And even there, it's not about the first interaction or the first kiss - these goes straight to Hans. But he wouldn't have done it without our help to ensure Henry stays true to himself, his emotions, and Hans. What we choose as players is not to romance Hans, we choose for Henry to realize the true nature of his own feelings.

When he pulls away from the first kiss and takes a few steps back, you can see his confusion. He isn't disgusted or angry, he isn't even scared about "the sin" they just committed. He is just confused because we helped him realize why he did all those things. None of what Henry ever said to Hans was smug or even particularly romantic, he just always spoke the truth. He spoke from his heart about things he genuinely felt and it didn't feel specifically romantic because they were just honest emotions. Henry never worried about what he said - he never feared hiding his feelings because it felt natural to talk this way to Hans. There was never a reason to hide anything.

Henry wears his heart on his sleeve whenever he talking with Hans and that's why he just now realizes what all of this means - for Hans, for himself, for both of them and their future. Only then our choices take effect, only then does Henry kiss Hans and follow his feelings. I wouldn't say that, at this point, he fully understands what this is between them, but he is willing to follow this path. He isn't disgusted or afraid, he expects whatever this new, clearer situation is - even if he can't put a name to it yet. He wants to continue and follow his heart, he isn't running away, which is something Henry always reminds himself and others not to do. He will never run away again and he isn't doing it now or in the future. Whatever comes next, Henry is willing to face it because there is nothing to regret. He didn't run away, he was honest and he wanted this - even if he just now realizes it.

Just a little random note for the end, that I think is very interesting: Hans's romance is not a side quest, it's completely intertwined with the main campaign. Every important decision Henry made with him took place in the main quest. Sure, you sometimes didn't necessarily have to speak to him, but the dialogues still occurred during main events. For example, during the robbery - you don't have to talk to Hans, but the dialogue happens there.

In contrast, with Katherine or Rosa, you have to do some side activities, which makes their stories feel more excluded. Hans's romance is part of the main story, which really gives this route a more canon-vibe than the girls' romances.

[ddejavvu]

i think hiccup likes watching you. it can be spun into the 'quality time love language', it can be written off as him reading over your shoulder, it can look like he's dozing across from you on the couch. but really, he's using the entire time to soak up your presence. he likes seating you with your back to his chest, so that he can see what you're doing in front of him by peering over your shoulder. sometimes he'll look at the back of your neck, counting freckles or roving over the baby hairs that escape your haphazard updo, staring at the skin he's lucky enough to get to kiss whenever he wants. very frequent back-of-the-neck kisser, this guy. he thinks its chaste and therefore meaningful.

if he's 'reading over your shoulder' he's actually just watching you read from over your shoulder. he watches your fingers twitch on the page, he watches the way you lose focus and have to restart a few paragraphs, he watches the way you toy with the corner of the cover while deep in the zone. he wants to commit everything to memory, he wants to know you deeper than he knows himself, he wants to have every minute twitch of your body recorded in something much more potent and permanent than charcoal on a page.

he studies the world around him, and you're no different. he finds out that you stuff your feet beneath the cushions on the couch because you like pressure holding you in place, so he takes to sitting on the tips of your toes with a cheeky smile, pretending its an annoyance instead of a deliberate act of thought. he watches you grapple with those same baby hairs he'd kissed and fashions some hair pins for you, pretty and effective. he knows it bothers you when your washcloth doesn't dry out in the cold winter months, so he takes them to the forge in the mornings and dries them over the fire so that they're toasty when you wash your face that night. he finds you interesting, watching you is his own hobby while you're doing yours. he doesn't get bored or feel the need to engage in his own activities if you're reading in his lap, or sewing up your shirt, or cooking, or stretching out your sore muscles, he's occupied with watching you live.

he's lost a lot in life. he's felt scarcity, not in food or shelter but in love. in tenderness, in being needed. so the way that you're so eager to sit between his legs, to lean back against his chest and crack open a book- something you could be doing alone on the other side of the couch if you wanted to- that's something special to him. he knows what it's like to feel discarded and unworthy, and he deliberately takes time to bask in the gratitude he feels towards whatever god sent you to him. he's fairly certain you didn't come from loki himself like the twins did, but he knows someone, somewhere out there, wanted him to have you, and he won't take that for granted.

[five-bi-five-mind]

so I am obsessed with your jj x readers fics, esp the top!jj and jealous!jj ones. so I have a request (if you take requests).

jj had Henry but she and Will didn't end up together because Will wasn't willing to sacrifice his career and neither was JJ but they used to spend a lot of time together for Henry. Fem!reader started working for the BAU when Henry is five, and JJ and Reader started sneaking around together. JJ is possessive of reader but they're both closeted, even though reader is now willing to go public. but then Will returned, wanting to be a family for Henry's sake and JJ agrees to give it a shot, breaking reader's heart. A month or so later, the BAU returned from a gruelling case and go to a bar to wind down. JJ and Reader haven't really spoken since things ended except for work purposes. But when JJ sees a guy flirt with and kiss reader at the bar, she grabs reader and takes her to the bathroom and becomes possessive....After, reader asks JJ what she wants because jj's behaviour is confusing and JJ says "You" (thank you)

Breaking Point

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader

Genre: Angst, Smut

Words: 11.7k+

Summary: JJ fell for you hard, but she wasn't good with feelings and she liked having control. Only problem was, she lost all of it any time you were around. Now, Will is trying to push her to restart a relationship and all she can do is push you away to handle all these complicated feelings.

Warning: rough sex, overstimulation, possessive sex, possessive!JJ, little bit of toxic!JJ, dubiously consensual kissing, double sided strap-on, multiple orgasms, vibrator, bottom!r, top!JJ, alcohol mention, biting... I think that about covers it.

A/N: I took a break but now we're so back and it feels good to be back. Hope y'all enjoy a JJ fic!!

(gif not mine, credit to luthqrs)

She had fallen first. You always joked that it was you who did and you were just waiting for her to stop being so wrapped up in her own head, but no. If only you knew how mistaken you were.

She most certainly had fallen first, and dare she say, she had also fallen harder. Not that any of that seems apparent to you now, or ever will at this point, if JJ were being honest with herself. But she would go to her grave denying any claim that you were the one to fall first or to love her harder.

See, she fell for you the moment she saw you. She might be practical, she might be calculated and calm and she prided herself in always weighing the risks versus the reward. JJ built her life around assessing every situation and making sure every single action she took, every choice she made, made sense for her future. But then her eyes fell upon you and all of that went out the window.

She replays that first day you came to the BAU in her head more times  than she could care to count. That day she met you, you were just starting as part of the team. She heard your laugh from the halls before she even saw your face. The feeling of your laugh ringing through her ears, washing over her entire being, she won’t ever forget. She didn’t understand why she felt the way that she did then, not until her eyes finally met yours, but that was hours later. 

Somehow, the two of you managed to miss properly introducing each other for most of that first day. You were off getting familiar with the BAU, catching up on who’s who and where’s what. She was wrapped up in a case close to home that seemed like it was all dead ends. It wasn’t until the end of that work day did she finally run into you. Literally.

With her hands full of files and her eyes glued to the words written in them, she kept walking until she smacked right into you. To her own defense, you were looking everywhere but up, trying to find the right room number to finally meet the elusive JJ in the first place. Neither of you were looking forward until your bodies collided and her papers started flying everywhere.

JJ was immediately mortified and frustrated and for a moment there was utter silence as you both looked down at the mess of papers around you. But then you looked up and laughed. It caught her off guard again, but she didn’t know why. Maybe it was that the feeling washed over her again. A feeling she rarely feels these days with her line of work. A feeling that something pure and happy was in her presence. It’s that sort of feeling that rubs off on people, but rarely does it grace the BAU halls. And then she looked up.

Your eyes sparkled as you laughed. “Well, that’s one way to make an introduction I guess,” you said to her between giggles. Without even knowing it, she was smiling back at you. She thought to ask if you were okay, but words were hard to get out. 

You scooped up all her papers and she just stood there, eyes wide, as you placed them back in her hands. When you told her your name and that it was nice to meet her, finally she found her voice again and said the same. 

The meeting might have been ordinary to you, but to her it was the first time in a long time that the world felt lighter. It was the moment that you walked out the door from your first day with the BAU that JJ swore to herself to make sure you never lost that light. This job could be monstrous, but you weren’t a field agent. She could shield you, she could protect you.

It was in that small moment that JJ fell in love, even if it took her weeks to realize what that feeling was. The need to protect you grew as she watched you wince from across the room each time new crime scene photos were presented for each new case. She remembered being like you, she literally was you. Now you’re the new communications liaison and you still had the same sick feeling she used to get when the horrors of the world were being highlighted page after page on the table in front of you. 

—----------------------------

It was only a few short months before the feelings JJ had for you boiled over. She’d like to say she was good at hiding them, and to an extent, she was, but she unfortunately had a breaking point. What she really regretted was how that breaking point came about and what actions it resulted in.

In JJ’s best efforts to shield you from a job that, in all reality, was impossible for someone to be shielded from at least some horrors, JJ had also somehow convinced you and a lot of people around you that she hated you. She would urge for you to not be put on certain cases, but that would come in the form of her– unintentionally –making it sound like you were not qualified or skilled enough to handle those cases. JJ didn’t think that in the slightest, though. She really thought you were better at the job of being a liaison than she ever was. But she also knew the path she took from being a liaison, to finding herself in danger in the field and not as prepared as she should’ve been at times. She couldn’t handle you following that same path, so she did what she could. 

The rumors that she hated you were also not helped by the fact that she absolutely froze up any time you tried to talk to her. She had no idea what this magnetic pull was that she felt any time you were near. She thought about you when you were around and even more when you weren’t. JJ knew she should’ve actually tried to have more conversations with you, squash the rumors that she hated you finally, but any time she tried to get closer to you the pull got stronger. And then by the time you did approach her, her mind was so wrapped up in the feeling that she just couldn’t think to get any words out. Everything about you confused her. 

What made matters worse, however, was that JJ found herself always near you even when it wasn’t by her own choice. In the office, she was always nearby to make sure you didn’t walk into a wall, since you had this annoyingly charming habit of reading files and walking at the same time. Or, JJ always noticed you had a knack for getting up any time the jet had turbulence and she would often shoot up and catch you before you fell. Anytime that happened, JJ would feel like her skin was on fire wherever your delicate hands would steady themselves on her strong arms. It always made her stomach twist in a way that felt similar to when she used to have a fear of flying, only the feeling would stick with her when they landed and then hours after. 

While JJ savored these moments without really knowing why, it came across quite differently for you. JJ’s eyes would always harden anytime she stepped back once you regained your footing and she wouldn’t stop staring at you. To everyone around the both of you, it looked like she was glaring. In reality, JJ was just trying to figure it all out. But as more and more time went by, she was starting to piece everything together.

Feelings weren’t something JJ was good at, but she couldn’t deny that they were building within her. She had decided maybe she should ignore them. If she stuffed them down long enough she could either get used to living with the feeling or they’d go away. At least that’s what she told herself, but then there was a day that your time overlapped with that one intern… The one with the rich dad and the shit eating grin. 

JJ was in the absolute worst mood and he was just making it worse. He usually flirted with the other interns and she didn’t care about that but today, she guessed he was going for a different target. And any time JJ heard his obnoxious voice flow through the halls, calling your name for you to slow down so he could catch up, asking you a useless question, it just made things worse. She snapped three pencils that day and it wasn’t even noon yet then. 

When he finally came to her office to ask if she needed anything, she thought asking him for a big coffee order for the office, but for specific coffee across town would solve her problems at least temporarily. She just wanted him away from you; he kept getting too fucking close. And she told herself this wasn’t about jealousy, it wasn’t because she wanted you and couldn’t have you, it was because he was going through interns like they were nothing and she didn’t want to see him treat you like that too. Except, her plan to get you away from him backfired in the worst possible way. 

She didn’t think he would have the guts to ask you to join him in assisting, and she didn’t think you would use your lunch break to assist. But of course you did, because you’re kind and he played it up, acting like he could use all the help he could get. That just soured JJ’s mood even more.

It took over an hour for you to return with that guy too and the whole time JJ kept picturing the worst. How he might be driving with his hand on your thigh, when it should be hers. How he could be making you laugh and smile when JJ just wants to be the reason you do that just once more for her. How he could be asking you on a date and she wouldn’t be there to somehow interject and make sure that never happens in a million years.

She wouldn’t ever know if her first two worries happened to have come true, but to her utter horror the last one did. As he brought back the coffee, handing it out to all the team, he turned and gave you that same scheming grin and said the words that JJ absolutely did not want to here. “So, that’s a yes for Friday night?” 

It wasn’t said to the room, obviously. It was said to you as you stood next to him and sorted out the pastry orders for the rest of the team. You just looked back at him and gave him a small smile and a brief nod. You didn’t have to say anything for JJ to know her worst nightmare was confirmed, and yet she couldn’t stop herself from asking her own question as she stood in front of you and waited for the items she requested. 

“What’s friday?” It sounded just as angry as JJ felt. But what didn’t help the situation was the way you flinched at her tone and how your eyes widened in fear. 

“Oh– uh…” you stuttered, your eyes still looking at JJ with shock and confusion. “We’re just going for drinks, no big deal.” 

Why did JJ feel her stomach drop at the way your eyes moved from hers to then look down at the floor? JJ winced at her own actions, but it was like something else took over for her as your words began to sink in. “Can I see you in my office, (Y/N)?” Suddenly, she was on autopilot as the idea of you going out at night with him washed over her like molten lava. “Alone.” 

She caught the look you gave the intern and the look he gave back, and JJ’s rampant jealousy flared, but to her relief you just nodded.

She didn’t wait for you to start moving before she turned on her heel and started striding to her office. When JJ reached the office she held the door for you and you walked in on shaky legs. She would’ve felt guilty at how nervous she was making you, but right now she could care less. She needed to squash these plans, no matter what. She had no idea how, but right now logic was out the window. 

“Listen, I know that dating is frowned upon in the office but it’s not a–”

“You’re right,” JJ cut you off mid sentence, closing the door behind you with a slam. “So why are you announcing to the whole office that you intend to do it anyways?”

“L-look I’m sorry,” you were panicking as you looked back at JJ, still standing between you and the door with her arms crossed. “But it’s not a date. We’re going out for drinks. That is all, nothing the team doesn’t do regularly.”

“It’s completely different,” JJ snapped back. 

“How so?” You were just confused if you were being honest. Not mad at the reaction of your colleague, but utterly lost to why it seemed like JJ was so angry from this that she was visibly shaking.

“Because he wants to sleep with you!” JJ knew she was breaking some sort of rules with HR with that outburst but she could care less. Her nails were digging into her own arms as she stood, fuming in front of you.

“That–” You honestly couldn’t think of a comeback. You were so shocked by her outburst that your mind was racing too fast for you to keep up. “Why do you care?” It was all you could manage to ask. 

“Why do you want to?” JJ really needed to stop at this point, but her blood was boiling and her skin was on fire and she kept taking steps until she was in your personal space and had backed you up against her own desk.

“It’s not against the rules, it’s just frowned upon, but I won’t lose my job for it. I’m allowed to get a drink with him.” You were trying to rationalize something that you didn’t even want to do. It was just drinks, and he was nice, you didn’t want to date him you just wanted to have a good time with someone for a few hours until you had to go home to an empty apartment, was that so wrong? 

“It’s not okay.” JJ was breathing hard and she was standing so close to you that you could practically feel her body against yours.

“Why?” You were getting frustrated. Your brain was working fast, trying to figure out what the hell was going on here.

The simple “why” was something JJ couldn’t answer. She didn’t have an angry remark, she didn’t have anything smart to say. Her heart was beating so fast she could hear it pounding in her ears and all she could manage was a frustrated, “It just fucking isn’t!”

“Does this have to do with the team or is this just your problem, JJ?” You were finally pushing back, but you still remained still. The confusion was irritating and her bad attitude was starting to rub off on you. The way her adrenaline was pumping, her aggressive reaction, it was all seeping into you and suddenly your scared demeanor flipped. “You’ve had a problem with me since day one! What is it? You’re trying to push me out right? I can’t even make friends with the intern, is that it? If you want me out of this team so badly, I can just go because obviously this isn’t working out! Not when every single little thing I do pisses you off so badly. I don’t know what I even did you, but I’ve had it with–”

And just like that JJ snapped. All control went out the window. You were mid angry rant but the thought of you leaving the BAU scared her just as much and her resolve crumbled. 

Her lips smashed against yours with such a force that you had to brace yourself on her desk until your knuckles turned white. Her kiss was brutal, it was angry, it was passionate and the way she had finally released her own arms to grip your chin had you grunt against her lips. Your eyes were wide for a moment as her lips pressed harder against yours, moving in a way so yours parted enough for her tongue to graze yours. And when it did you couldn’t help the way your eyes slipped shut and a slight shiver ran through your body. One of her hands was still gripping your chin tight, but the other had snaked its way down and around your waist so you didn’t have to steady yourself so hard on her desk. This also meant her full body was pressed up against yours and you were surprised by how much heat you felt as she leaned into you. You were also surprised by how much your own body melted into hers as she let out a groan against your own lips. It wasn’t until you heard that groan that you realized, you had been kissing her back. You had maybe resisted for a moment, but at some point your hands weren’t on the desk but in her hair, your lips had parted more, and you had let her tongue run against yours in a hungry frenzy. 

But then reality sunk in for a moment and, since you no longer needed the support to stay up right since you were now seated on her desk, you removed your hands from her hair and moved them to her chest to shoved hard. Surprisingly hard for someone who had maybe a fraction of JJ’s strength.

She stumbled back, her eyes wide and her lips red and wet from the force and messiness of the kiss she didn’t mean to give. There was a pause, a silence that hung over the room as you both just stared at each other. 

JJ was trying to think of excuses, of reasons for why the hell she would force herself on you like that. She was so angry she didn’t think and now she was angry at herself for doing something so out of character.

But then you took a deep breath and JJ’s eyes flew from the floor back up to meet your own. “So…” you cleared your throat as you struggled to find the words you wanted to use. “I guess that explains some things.” 

And then you laughed, a real, genuine laugh, and JJ’s whole body relaxed. 

—----------------------------------------------------------

Obviously, you did not go out for drinks with the intern. Instead, you and JJ had a talk and JJ had essentially poured her guts out to you and you had told her that you felt the same exact pull she was feeling. The only difference was, you actually knew how to handle your feelings, but with how JJ had been acting, you had convinced yourself that it was very much one sided. 

Clearly it wasn’t, and after that moment in the office you had decided to try to follow your feelings with her, albeit slowly and without announcing it to the team for at least a good while. Keeping it a secret from the team was working out well, but the taking things slow part went out the window basically the same night as your first kiss. 

JJ had the idea of talking alone, just the two of you at her place. That very quickly ended in her taking you right then and there on her couch for the first time. You should’ve been embarrassed you couldn’t even make it to her bed, but the way she kissed you like she was trying to savor every single inch of you, you never stood a chance at resisting her. 

After that, well, the two of you were goners. Sneaking office kisses– and sometimes even more… whenever you’d get the chance. She insisted on being secretive and careful for numerous reasons, and you were okay with that as long as it meant JJ was all yours. 

After six months of sneaking around had gone by, you did, however, reveal your secret to her child. It was entirely by accident and all due to the ex of hers that you never liked, nor trusted. 

You both had been in bed, wrapped around each other the way you both would every single night since you exchanged “I love yous” three months prior. This time, luckily, you were both clothed. Both of you were tired from a case and just wanted to fall asleep in the safety of each other’s arms. 

But then, early in the morning, an excited blonde head peaked through the door and that peaceful sleep you were once in was rudely awakened. It felt like someone drenched you in frigid water, the way JJ’s eyes snapped open and met yours in terror before snapping to the child bounding for the bed. 

She jumped up with record speed and met him before he could jump in. “Henry, h-hi buddy. What are you doing here? Where’s your dad?”

Before she could even answer she heard his voice call from further in the house. “Hey, we just let ourselves in!” You really hated that he had his own key, but knew as they were co-parents it was necessary. Plus, that’s not what was on your mind right now. Now, you were also standing out of bed and just looking around the room helplessly as if hiding would solve anything. 

“Mommy, you had a sleepover?” His innocent question felt like a shot to the heart. You both froze. JJ had a forced smile on her face that she directed toward her son but you couldn’t bring yourself to fix your expression. It was one of utter shock and horror. 

You had met Henry, even spent plenty of time with him in the last six months. JJ would just say you’re a good friend and he happily accepted that. In all honesty, he adored you and you felt the same for him, each time you saw him it felt more like you were becoming a family, even if he was totally oblivious to that feeling. But the two of you hadn’t talked about actually telling him what you were, you never wanted to push it with JJ. 

“Uh…” JJ laughed nervously, her eyes shooting between him and you. “Yeah, buddy.”

She was trying hard to think of some way to come up with an excuse for what you were doing in her bed. She knew he didn’t really need an answer, but she feared what he would say to his father, her ex, when Henry inevitably spilled the beans. 

“So,” you heard Will’s voice call from the hall. “We thought we’d surprise you, take you to breakfast!” 

His voice was getting closer and closer and you were frozen in place. There was no way for you to hide now, nowhere for you to run. 

“Sorry to wake you and all, doll,” his voice continued to get louder. “But the little guy just wanted to surprise you.” 

You could hear the creaks of his steps right around the corner. 

“So what do you say?” His voice was right by the doorway now. “Breakfast as a family sounds…”

He didn’t finish his sentence as he entered the doorway. his voice trailed off and his eyes were wide. He was looking between the child clinging to his ex and you, a person he’s met two or three in passing because of the job, standing two feet from the bed. A bed that was unmade and clearly slept in by both of you. 

“You have company.” His whole demeanor changed in an instance. His eyes hardened and his jaw set. “I didn’t know…”

He trailed off again and you heard the unspoken words. He didn’t know JJ was seeing other people. He didn’t know JJ was seeing a co-worker. He didn’t know JJ even liked women. They were all questions you could see swirling in his mind. 

“I’m just leaving,” you finally spoke up. Something told you, you didn’t want to be here for whatever discussion was about to happen. JJ looked over as soon as she heard your voice and gave you both an apologetic, but relieved look. 

You didn’t even gather your clothes. You grabbed your phone and keys, and left in your fuzzy pajamas. 

When you got back to your place you were a mess. Nothing could’ve prepared you for starting your morning like that. JJ sent a text maybe fifteen minutes after you got back home with a quick apology and a promise to talk later. 

But then you didn’t hear from her for hours after that. And hours more once the sun went down. And then suddenly the weekend went by and hours became days. JJ took time off of work and those days turned in to almost two weeks.

You were a mess. The team saw, but didn’t say anything. You just tried your best to do the job. 

For JJ’s part she was also a mess. She knew she needed to see you, to talk to you, to do what she never thought in a million years that she would ever do. That’s why she was ghosting you, so she could put off the pain that she knew was going to feel like ripping out her own heart and stomping all over it and yours in the process too. 

After that day, Will and her had argued. He had told her that he never expected her to move on to someone else. That he always expected she would come back to him once they both felt less married to their jobs. When JJ had said that, though, that was just her excuse to spare his feelings. Will had never made her happy, not in the way she was when she was with you. 

But his words still twisted in her gut like a knife. They spent hours screaming back and forth about everything until he finally took the low blow and used Henry as an excuse. He convinced JJ that when they were apart, Henry would be a mess that he couldn’t be with both his parents at once. 

If JJ was thinking logically, she would’ve seen through that lie since Henry not once mentioned that to her. But she was caught off guard and Will was pressing all the right buttons to make her guilt and anxiety rise, until finally she heard herself give in to him. 

She uttered four words to him and that was all it took to realize JJ had lost this battle. “I’ll break it off.” 

JJ wasn’t ready to accept the full weight of those words. It’s why she didn’t answer your calls or texts and why she took off work for over a week. In that time she didn’t see Will either though. After a few days he added into his arguing that they needed to try again and she adamantly disagreed. She tried to push alternatives, more time spent together with Henry, but not together in a romantic sense. He wasn’t happy about it, but agreed to take what he could get, always saying it was a “start” but JJ didn’t like what that implied. 

What made matters even worse was that she saw you before she was ready to face you and it all happened completely by accident. 

It was rounding on two weeks and JJ was running out of vacation time, so she knew she had to break the news to you soon, she just wasn’t ready for it to be that soon. 

Except, she had foolishly agreed to dinner with Will to discuss Henry away from the house. He convinced her that their son didn’t need to hear them argue and that they’d be more likely to keep their voices level in public. She really shouldn’t have agreed, but she did. And that’s how she found herself seated across from Will at a semi-nice restaurant for the evening. 

To add to everything else, when she realized you were there too, was the exact moment that Will reached out and put his hand over her own. She wasn’t even sure what he was saying, not when the rest of the world felt like it was frozen and crumbling around her all at the same time. 

There you were, about to be seated with Emily walking in behind you. The look in your eye told JJ she didn’t need to say any words to rip your heart out, you figured it out on your own all in that moment. To make matters worse, JJ would usually recoil from Will’s touch, but being so shocked to see you, she couldn’t move a single muscle. 

Your eyes switched between looking at her horrified face to Will’s smug one and then finally to the way his hand laid over hers. It made you sick. Emily stopped in her tracks behind you taking in the scene and no doubt understanding why your body language had changed. 

She had taken you out, guessing the relationship between you and JJ within seconds of it starting. She also knew there was trouble in paradise, so when Emily confirmed you hadn’t heard from JJ after over a week had gone by, she thought a nice dinner would help. At least it would get you out of the apartment. You had stopped leaving other than to go to work since that fateful day. 

Emily didn’t need to see your face to know it was filled with hurt. She put one hand on your shoulder and leaned close to whisper a simple “let’s go” in your ear. 

JJ watched, sick to her stomach, as you nodded and turned back around. All too late her brain fully processed what happened and she shot up from her seat as she watched Emily help put your coat on at the door. 

There was no conversation after that. You didn’t need one, you understood and you avoided her like the plague. 

————————-

Three months went by after that. The two of you only talked when you needed to. You spent more and more time laying in bed than you’d like to admit and JJ… Well, she fell into a pit of self loathing for how much you were hurting. 

Still she didn’t give into Will, despite what you and others might think. She would go along with his plan to spend more time together, but only platonically. And the only reason she agreed to that was because the days she spent at home without Henry were torture. She would stare at the phone and hope for you to call or for her to get the courage to call you, knowing she really could not do that after everything. 

If she wasn’t staring at the phone alone on her own, or ignoring her heartache by spending time with her son, she was busy staring at you any time you worked together. You felt her eyes burn into the back of your head and it always made your chest hurt. You tried your best to ignore it, to ignore her, but there was only so much you could do when she hovered.

Again, you were thinking about finding another job. The only thing was you had just gotten comfortable here. And really, Emily had been your rock through all of this. She had spent a lot of time listening to your heartbreak when you finally revealed what she already knew about the two of you. Emily had even offered to try to talk some sense into JJ, but that avoiding that she was extending to you had unfortunately also extended to the rest of the team. She couldn’t handle seeing any of them, especially if they were going to, undoubtedly, question her about her increased time with Will and what was going on with her intense mood. 

The closeness of you and Emily was starting to drive JJ crazy. She had a million questions ever since she saw her put a hand on your shoulder that fateful day. But she also fully recognized that she had absolutely no right to ask you any questions, and honestly she didn’t think she could handle hearing them for two reasons. One being that if Emily and you were romantically involved it would crush JJ even more, the other being that last time JJ got jealous, her control slipped and that’s what led her to this heartache in the first place.

So instead, JJ just watched and tried to see if she could figure out exactly what was going on. Of course, she told herself she also watched to protect you. Maybe she was a coward who fled from you, but she was still trying to keep some of the promise she made to herself about you since the first day she met you. She already let some of your light die, but she knew that was from how she had hurt you. Those wounds would heal, at least she thought so, but the way this job can leave an impression on a person really couldn’t. She just couldn’t have you getting hurt by anything else. 

Except, when she pushed for you to be away from a case, you started pushing even more strongly for that exact case that she so badly did not want you to have. It was like you were purposely putting her through hell. She had to worry about you and keep her distance for some of these cases, the only good thing was that with Emily close to you now, at least two capable agents could protect you. Anytime she saw Emily do exactly what she swore she would always do, protect you, comfort you from the horrors of a bad case, it would feel like JJ’s heart was ripping at the seams.

And then there was one case that was just too horrible that even JJ could barely stomach it. But you still insisted on heading over with the team. JJ watched with a grimace on her face as Emily sat by you on the jet, her hand on your arm, trying to coach you on what to expect and how to take precautions. JJ was fuming at her close proximity and the way Emily was gentle with you in a manner she didn’t think she had ever seen from the other agent.

It wasn’t at all what JJ thought, though. You didn’t mean to challenge JJ when you insisted on these cases. You just couldn’t stomach going home to your empty apartment so much anymore, not when the ache of losing JJ was getting even worse. So you clung to Emily, your new friend, your confidant. She was a small light in the darkness that was surrounding you both at work and in your own personal life. There was nothing romantic between you two, it was just like you clicked as fast friends and that’s what you really needed right now.

So when a hard case came up and Emily was assigned to it, you insisted on going too so you wouldn’t feel so alone. Every single time, you ignored the snide remarks JJ made when she didn’t get her way. And you definitely tried not to acknowledge the jealous glaring JJ would send your way any time Emily put her hand on you. Deep down, you knew exactly what JJ was thinking about when it came to your closeness with Emily and you hoped she thought it. In fact, you hoped it hurt her. At least then she would have a taste of the suffering she put you through each night you knew she would go home to Will. 

But with this last case, everything was just so much worse. 

Not only were you in a small town with a hotel that had limited availability– so of course, to JJ’s utter dismay, you shared a room with Emily– but you insisted on being way too close to where the danger was. JJ couldn’t help but think that you were so over her and into Emily that you couldn’t be separated for one goddamn second. It wasn’t like that though, if JJ was being logical, she would’ve known it was because you were determined to help in any way you could. 

Except, being closer to the case meant you were closer and closer to being the next victim of this unsub and it had JJ near her breaking point yet again. She hovered closer than ever, and you felt that from the way her fiery eyes would stare at you for hours on end as you and Emily worked closely together on how best to respond to the public while she was busy trying to find the killer.

And of course, the perfect storm came the moment both JJ and Emily took their eyes off you. You got attacked, you almost got shot, you could’ve died. JJ was tired of watching you walk into a hotel room with Emily right behind you and she had to ask. She couldn’t handle it anymore, she told herself if she just found out that you were at least happy with Emily then she would stop hovering, she would try to stop caring.

So she pulled Emily aside, for a moment– it was just a moment. But it was all it took for you to get snatched. JJ didn’t get to ask her question, she heard the struggle and her stomach dropped when she turned around and you weren’t there.

Then, of course, it was Emily who stayed calm. It was Emily who made the plan. It was Emily who found you, found the unsub, and rescued you from a fate JJ was always worried you’d meet. You were bruised and battered, but ultimately fine. JJ wanted to run to you, to hold you and comfort you and care for your wounds, but it was Emily who ran to you first. It was Emily who pulled you into her arms and squeezed you tight. And as JJ ran in behind her and saw the way she held onto you and you held onto her, her feet froze and she couldn’t bear to look at either of you. 

Seeing all of that, going through that case on the sidelines while you were almost lost forever, it was killing JJ. She couldn’t pretend she was okay without you anymore, she couldn’t pretend to be a happy family with Will either. She didn’t know what was happening between you and Emily, but she had to find out, and more than anything she had to see if she could get you to give her another chance.

Emily was her friend, and part of her felt guilty that if her assumptions were true she would essentially be trying to steal her best friend’s girlfriend, but you were hers first. JJ wanted you to be only hers always, and she was just now waking up to that realization.

—-----------------------------

As soon as you all returned from that case, JJ set the record straight with Will. She had long since realized that Henry didn’t really care to spend time with them together. If anything, JJ realized, Henry missed time with you. 

Will did not take it well, but JJ was prepared for that. She threatened court and full custody and he finally backed down. She had gotten him to agree to only see each other for drop offs with Henry and forced him to give her spare key back.

A week had gone by since that case, but the whole team was still feeling the exhaustion from it. When Penelope suggested everyone get drinks, JJ surprised herself by agreeing. But then again, she saw the way Emily approved of that idea and knew that if Emily was going, you would be there. JJ was determined to figure out what was happening between the two of you and watching the way you two were together at the bar would be an excellent clue before JJ finally got up the nerve– for the second time –to confront Emily and figure things out. 

When you all got to the bar, JJ noted how the two of you came in together. She wasn’t surprised, but it made her blood boil in a way that was familiar to when that intern got too close to you. 

You sat in a booth with Penelope and Morgan chatting away while Emily sat her stuff next to you and went to the bar for a couple of drinks. JJ sat at a table with Hotch and Reid, they were discussing something beyond her, but she couldn’t bother to listen. Her eyes were glued to you.

For the most part, you knew she was staring, but you had gotten really good at ignoring it the past few months. Except, this last week it had been worse. She would not only stare at you, but glare at Emily, her own friend. You knew, by the way your pulse sped up each time you caught the look JJ was wearing, that something had to give, you just didn’t know when. You especially didn’t think it would be on a night at the bar, with the entire team surrounding you. 

Three drinks in for you and Penelope suggested some dancing. You didn’t dance, Emily didn’t dance, but Penelope pulled the two of you up and out of the booth anyways. So then you found yourself dancing very close to Emily while Penelope was happily moving along with the music and Morgan right next to you. 

You had never been a good dancer though, so when you tripped on your own feet Emily’s arms flung out to catch you and you found yourself pressed against her. It all happened entirely too fast after that. 

There was a loud slam of a glass somewhere in the distance and then a hand roughly tugging your whole body back by the shoulder. “Can I talk to you for a second?” JJ’s voice was louder than it needed to be, even over the music. Emily had backed up, her hands in the air as if JJ was armed and aiming for her. 

You didn’t even know when JJ had spun you around and away from Emily’s embrace. Your head turned to look at Emily and her face wasn’t even shocked. It was just expectant and unsurprised. She gave you a short nod, looking at you with soft eyes, but before you could even agree JJ pressed again.

“Do I need to ask for your permission to talk to (Y/N)?” 

“JJ!” You gasped at her harsh tone. She had never talked to Emily like that, she would never dare. But she’s also had a couple drinks and she was about done watching her best friend have her hands all over the girl of her dreams. 

“It’s not my decision,” Emily said, keeping a calm and level tone. 

“Excellent,” JJ hissed as her hand grabbed yours and tugged.

She had realized that meant it was up to you, but she didn’t give you a chance to agree. She needed to figure this out alone, right then and there, and in her anger she decided she needed to hear you say it. She needed you to admit that you were able to move on from her so quickly and with her closest friend no less. How could you even do something like that to her? JJ was seething. Yes, she knew it looked like she immediately moved on with Will before even actually properly breaking up with you, but she hadn’t! Aside from that moment where he touched her hand, JJ wouldn’t let him have any sort of physical contact with her after that. She loathed his touch, and she couldn’t imagine you’d be able to handle anyone else’s but hers. After all those nights of admitting to her that you were hers alone, she never thought you’d move on so quickly. But here you were, and to her, it looked like you were utterly wrapped up in Emily.

“JJ, what the actual fuck?” you were protesting as JJ was dragging you across the bar and towards the bathroom. She didn’t seem to care though, as she practically shoved you into the bathroom before stepping in and locking the door behind you.

“I didn’t say that I wanted to talk!” You took a step back from her.

“We need to,” JJ snapped back. She realized she was one to talk, considering the two of you never properly had a break up conversation. But at least now, you could have that or some sort of conversation. Whatever was going to happen, JJ knew it needed to be said.

“We could’ve done that any other time,” you began with your arms crossed over your chest. “It’s been months. And now, with everyone having seen your little outburst– Now, you want to talk to me?” 

“What’s going on between you and Emily?” Okay, so JJ was ignoring everything you said to her now. JJ knew this wasn’t the healthiest way to work out her feelings, but she couldn’t help it. This was driving her crazy, her control was slipping again. There was just something about you that made the resolve she worked on for your years go out the window.

“What?” You took another step back in surprise. JJ followed. “Nothing! Why do you care?” 

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” JJ pressed, taking another step into your personal space.

“Why. Do. You. Care.” You emphasized every word, getting more angry by the second. 

“It hasn’t been that long, (Y/N)!” JJ was still taking a step forward for every step back you took until your back hit the bathroom wall. “Now you’re fucking my friend?”

“So what if I am?” You threw your hands up in frustration. “I can fuck whoever I want! I can go home with a random stranger, I can go home with Emily, I can fuck anyone I want. You know why, JJ?” Your finger poked hard into her chest as you finally reached your own breaking point. “Because you’re fucking your ex and you didn’t even have the decency to break up with me!”

“So you are fucking Emily?”

“Jesus Christ, JJ!” You were yelling, you knew you were yelling, and you knew someone could hear you if they were too close to the bar bathroom. At this point you didn’t care. “NO! I am not, but you know what, maybe I will. Maybe I’ll go home with Emily tonight, maybe I’ll go home with a stranger. I don’t have to be alone just because you decided you don’t want to be with me anymore. And I think it’s time for me to finally, finally move on from you JJ. I’m not yours, I don’t belong to you, I can go fuck–” you practically spit out the word, “whoever the fuck I want.” 

JJ stopped for a second. An uncomfortable silence fell over you as you huffed in heavy breathes from your outburst and the rage boiling through your veins. You took a step forward trying to leave, but in that moment JJ took one too until you were forced to retreat, your back again pressed to the wall. This time she was right in your personal space, much like that first day that she kissed you.

“No you can’t,” JJ’s voice shook with anger as she spoke, but it wasn’t a yell. It was a low, daring tone that made your skin crawl. 

“What?” Your eyes were wide in shock that JJ, after your outburst, would still deny you your own freedom. “Yes, I ca–” 

You couldn’t finish your words, JJ was already on you. In fact, she was pressing her whole body so hard against yours, you barely had room to gasp. It couldn’t be heard anyway, not with the way her lips crushed into yours with blinding speed. 

It wasn’t going to be like the first time though, you weren’t going to give in that easy. You turned your head after a moment of her lips pressed to yours and took a deep breath before trying to protest.

“You’re with Will now!” You gasped out as you felt JJ’s lips meet your jaw line. 

“I never was,” she breathed against your skin. Your blood went cold at that, but you didn’t even have time to process before JJ’s hand snaked between the two of you and cupped your chin. With little effort, due to the shock of her words, she pulled your head back so your lips could meet hers again and all you could manage to do was let her kiss you. 

But some sense came back to you the moment you felt her teeth tug at your bottom lip. You pushed on her chest and tried to turn your head again, only able to mumble a weak, “I don’t understand…” against her lips. 

Her hold on your chin tightened, keeping you in place as she used her body weight to keep you still against the wall. “This has been torture,” JJ groaned against you. Her fingers clenched harder around your jaw as she dragged her lips across yours once again. “I can’t handle it anymore.” Her lips pressed firmly against yours this time and all you could do was whimper against her mouth. 

“I’m not with Will,” she continued to mumble breathlessly against your mouth. Your hands braced themselves on either side of her waist as she pressed you harder and harder against the wall. “You’re supposed to be mine,” she practically growled against your lips.

She was filling all your senses and your head was swimming. You were supposed to hate her, she left you. She hid you and then she got back with her ex, but here she was devouring your lips with her own. You weren’t supposed to swoon at the way she called you hers or melt when you felt her tongue dance against your own. But you couldn’t help it… she was all you ever wanted. 

Your body practically melted in her arms as her lips dragged themselves over yours before fully claiming your mouth in a searing kiss. The way her tongue swept over your lips until finally you parted yours had your head swimming. When you both heard and felt the groan that escaped her own mouth your whole body shuddered. You really shouldn’t be doing this, you knew that somewhere deep down in your mind. But every time her tongue ran against yours that thought got pushed back further and further until all that was left was just her. 

When one of her hands left from around your waist to tangle in your hair, you knew you were a goner. Her lips had left yours to attach themselves to your neck and you did nothing to stop it. The hand that had made its way to your hair was now tightened into a fist and she was pulling hard, making you tilt your head back so she could have more access to the most sensitive parts of your neck. All you could do was whine and squeeze your eyes shut as the overwhelming feeling of JJ’s tongue making its way down to your collarbone was driving you crazy. 

There was no way you were going to snap out of this. You knew that the aftermath of whatever was happening between the two of you in this moment would break you as soon as it was over, but you had missed her so much. If she was being driven crazy just because she saw you for two seconds with someone else, how did she think you felt? It was torture not having this with JJ anymore. You craved this. You needed it. 

But still there was that one voice. It was so small and distant now, but it was still telling you this was not a good idea. That you should push her away before this would hurt too much. JJ leaving you the first time had broken you and you’re barely putting the pieces back together. What happens if you break again? Will there be enough of you left to even salvage? 

It was the feeling of JJ’s teeth biting down hard into the most sensitive part of your neck that somehow finally broke you out of the trance you had fallen under. It was like someone dumped ice cold water on your system and your entire body went ridge. JJ was too focused on the feeling of having you in her arms and against her lips again to notice, though. 

She kept going, running her tongue over the angry red mark she had just left. Your hands were balled into fists again at either of her sides and if she noticed that you were trying to lean away from her, she didn’t seem to care.

“JJ, wait,” your voice was quiet and hoarse. If you could’ve you would’ve been more assertive, but your head was still swimming. Your hands pressed harder onto her sides, trying to keep her still while you pushed your own body away, but her grip was strong. One of her hands tightened in your hair and the other around your waist; the action made you wince. 

“Please, stop.” Your voice was a little louder now and you felt the reality of the last few moments settle in your stomach like a bowling ball. Thankfully, JJ finally took notice of this. Her body stilled and her head tilted back up with hooded, hungry eyes. For a split second you wanted to throw it all away, but that tiny voice had officially won.

“Why?” JJ was still holding onto you, but the hand in your hair had finally moved back to your waist. 

“JJ, I can’t handle this. I could barely handle sneaking around, I definitely can’t handle being your little secret again until you decide to leave and go play family. Or make me the other woman… or whatever is going on here.” 

“You’re not those things, you would never be those things.” JJ’s eyes said it all as she uttered that sentence. The pain in them had shown, but it just added to your confusion over this whole situation. You were torn between wanting to yell at her and comfort her all at the same time.

“Then what am I, JJ?” You needed to press this. She can’t just keep you from moving on, she can’t keep interjecting when someone shows slight interest. Either this all needed to stop for good or the both of you needed to finally figure things out. “What is it that you really want?”

“It’s…” JJ stood still, her hands still gripping your waist. The sound of the drip of the faucets nearby seemed deafening in the uncomfortable silence, but yet you waited. “You. I want you.” 

There was a pause and you took a deep, shaky breath to ground yourself. “What does that mean, JJ?” You whispered your question, afraid to get your hopes up. 

“That I want to do this for real. I’m done holding back,” JJ’s hand released you for a moment to brush hair from your face and tuck it behind your ear. “I’ll tell everyone, I’ll vow to never leave you again. I just can’t be without you anymore longer.” 

You searched her eyes for a moment and this time you could see the sincerity shining through them.

“Just tell me you’re mine,” JJ whispered as she pressed her forward to yours. “Just please, tell me you’re mine.” 

“I- I’m…” you took another deep breath, squeezing your eyes tight before tilting your head up so JJ would move hers down. “I’m yours,” you breathed with a soft kiss placed on her forehead. 

When JJ heard those words her hands moved once again to hold either side of your face, bringing your lips in for another searing kiss. But this time you were ready and you met her with as much passion. 

She kissed you like that for a while, her lips pressing completely against yours in a way that left you gasping for air against her mouth. After a moment JJ left your lips and kissed up your jaw. She made her way to your ear and leaned into you closer, her breath tickling as she took a moment to enjoy the way you were panting and shaking against her. “Can we get out of here?” JJ’s voice was filled with so much want as her teeth grazed your ear. You bit your lip to stop yourself from letting out an embarrassing whimper at the words you longed to hear once again, and nodded your response instead. 

——————- 

Getting into her place was messy. As soon as the Uber dropped you off, JJ’s lips, tongue, and teeth were all over you again. The way she was kissing you, you already knew you were a mess for her. 

As soon as she managed to get her front door open, she slammed it closed and then slammed you onto it, grinding her knee between your legs as she kissed you in a frenzy. At some point, the two of you had pulled off your shoes and she had scooped you up, still kissing you like crazy, as she walked the two of you to the bedroom. 

When she flung you onto the bed, with more excitement than grace, you didn’t even have time to react before she was on top of you, pulling at yours and her own clothes.

“Tonight,” JJ growled against lips, “you’re going to know that you belong to me alone, always.” You felt her hips roll against yours from where she had already gotten between your legs and you gasped at the sensation. 

“And you— you’re- oh god.” JJ’s teeth were sinking into your neck again and her hands already had your shirt and bra over your chest so her fingers could play with your nipples. It was making full sentences nearly impossible to get out. “Y-you’re mine.”

“All yours, princess,” JJ purred as her tongue and teeth moved down your neck and onto your chest. The second you felt her warm mouth close around your nipple, you couldn’t stop the pathetic whine that fell from your lips. You didn’t even notice that JJ had also managed to pull your shirt over your head, you were just so far gone in all the sensations she was giving you and she hadn’t even really started yet. 

JJ spent time paying attention to your breasts, alternating between your nipples with her lips and teeth while she continued to rock her thigh between your legs and encouraged you to grind on her. Things were building up fast too, you could feel yourself getting worked up and close to release, but you desperately wanted more. More of her touch, more of her hungry possessiveness, more of everything. 

It was like she read your mind though, because in an instant she was pulling away. You started to whine but then you felt her hands pull at your tight jeans and you were just relieved that it meant more direct contact with JJ where you needed her most. But then, once you were finally completely naked, JJ got off the bed. 

“Where are you going…” you trailed off as your eyes followed her to her night stand. You didn’t need an answer, as you watched her pull out a silk bag that outlined its contents quite obviously. JJ quickly removed the rest of her clothes before returning to the foot of the bed. 

“I got this a while ago for us,” JJ admitted as she pulled out what the bag was not-so-discreetly hiding. “But I was holding off on telling you, I was worried I would get too intense if we tried it, but…” JJ was back on the bed, kneeling between your legs, her hands on either of your knees. “I’m tired of holding back, aren’t you?”

You swallowed hard as your eyes zeroed in on what JJ’s hands were doing. With a pink, double-sided strap in her hands, she was spreading lube on both sides. You couldn’t help but notice how one side was quite larger than the other. 

“It vibrates by the way,” JJ’s wink was even visible in the dimly lit room. “Are you okay with this?”

You appreciated the check in, and yeah you were nervous for this, but you also had never wanted something more than this moment right now. “Yes,” you practically moaned the word in excited anticipation. 

“Good,” JJ gave you a smile more mischievous than you’ve ever seen it. And your eyes were still completely transfixed on the way her hands were lowering the toy down between her legs. “Let me just…” she trailed off as she took it inside herself and you watched in a trance as she shivered at the sensation. 

Then it was your turn. She readjusted your own legs, spreading you wider and you couldn’t help but feel yourself flush at how exposed you were. You also knew you were incredibly wet from her already. Even if she used lube, you didn’t think you needed it. Although, it was big, and the biggest you’ve ever taken before was just her three fingers… 

The toy lining up with your entrance is what woke you up from your thoughts and you gulped. JJ’s pupils were blown as she looked down at your naked body, your pussy dripping wet for her before she even entered you. And then, in a flash, she was all the way in. 

The way you both groaned at the sudden feeling spurred JJ on fast. She was immediately entranced by how good she felt while also being flush between your own thighs. “Doing okay?” JJ’s voice was strained, she was trying hard not to just start fucking you into the mattress. She needed the okay first. 

“Mm.. mhm,” was all you could manage, but you paired it with a nod. Your eyes were shut tight and you couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your own hips against JJ’s, desperate to feel her start moving. 

The toy was big, the way it stretched you out burned, but it was so fucking delicious in every way. Except, the moment you rolled your hips a second time that was all it took for JJ to break. She knew she wouldn’t be able to go slow with this toy, not when it felt good to actually feel you somewhat when you try to fuck yourself on the strap. She just didn’t know it would be this good. 

JJ’s grip on your legs tightened and she began to grind into you hard. Your head immediately fell back onto the bed when you felt JJ’s hips rock into your own. She was moving faster than you expected she would and it was all overwhelming. 

With the way JJ was moving, her whole body was now pressed against yours. Moans and desperate sighs came from above you and you couldn’t stop yourself from wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling her even tighter against you. Your hips moved in time with hers and the way you felt her shake in pleasure above you while you took every single pump of the toy into you was incredible. 

JJ’s hand came to your chin and she pulled your head back down until you were face to face, her body never slowing from the way it rutted into you. “Does it feel good?” JJ purred as she kept fucking into you with the strap, every pump pushing her end against the right spot for her. “Do you like what I’m doing to you, princess?” 

You moaned, your eyes squeezing shut tight as JJ pumped even harder in that moment. But JJ’s hand stayed on your chin, squeezing a little tighter than before. “Use your words,” she demanded as her thrusts got more powerful. 

“Yes!” You cried when JJ’s other hand moved to hook your own leg around her waist. “Fuck just— please just don’t stop.” 

“Good girl,” JJ groaned as she felt her own peak building. “Look at me.” 

It was a struggle to open your eyes but you did so just as JJ’s hand moved from your chin to your neck. “You’re mine,” JJ growled as she applied pressure. You groaned out a yes in agreement and JJ moaned as her hips continued to move frantically. 

“You’re mine,” she repeated, fucking into you with full force, “and you’re going to look at me when I make you cum.” Those words were what finally did it, you fell apart on her strap with a loud moan. Her hips never stopped their pace until finally you felt her whole body shudder above you. Her head fell into your neck and you felt the way she moaned and placed wet kisses to your bare skin. The way the orgasm hit JJ was just as powerful as yours and you both slowed for a moment. 

But that moment was short, because as JJ pressed her whole body weight on top of you, you felt her hips roll again and you whined at the sensitive sensation. 

“Shhh,” JJ soothed, “you’re going to give me one more.” 

“JJ I don’t know if-“ her hands were moving down your body, hoisting both your legs this time over her hips. You tried to finish your sentence but you couldn’t with the way she was slowly pumping the toy back into your already sensitive pussy. 

“We haven’t even tried all its features.” You didn’t comprehend what JJ meant until it was too late and she had you gasping in surprise. One of her hands had left your leg and moved down between the two of you. She had turned on the vibration and now, the pink, rather large strap on that was inside both of you was vibrating in a way that was causing your eyes to roll back into your head. 

“Oh my god,” you both said in unison, only your voice sounded like a garbled moan at the same time, while JJ just sounded breathlessly fascinated at the reaction it was pulling from you. 

“This is better than I ever dreamed it would be,” JJ purred as her hips restarted their rocking rhythm into you. The way the toy curved so the base of it hit JJ’s clit at the same time made her struggle with her staying steady and slow, but she knew you were sensitive and needed to be worked back up gently at first. 

With your legs hooked over her waist though, the strap was hitting even deeper than it had been when you first came and now that it was vibrating too, you swore you were seeing stars. 

“That’s it,” JJ whispered as she grabbed your hips and helped you fuck into her strap. “Keep moaning for me, baby, moan my name.” 

You didn’t even know you were doing that. You just couldn’t even control your body. All you could do was moan and whine as you let JJ fuck your into the mattress. 

Your whole body was shaking and JJ’s was too. Her pace was faster again and you knew it was a matter of time before you both came together again, but when JJ reached down and turned up the vibration you instantly fell apart in a show of moans and tears before she could cum with you. 

She didn’t stop there though, she didn’t even turn down the vibration as her hips started going harder. 

“J… JJ I can’t.” You were practically slurring your words, you could barely function with how many sensations were going on as JJ kept using your body to get herself off. 

“Shhh, one more baby one more,” JJ pleaded as she chased her own orgasm using your body. “I wanna cum again too.” 

You just nodded desperately, your eyes shut tight as JJ again pressed her naked body to yours and fucked the toy into the both of you. Her moans were getting louder and yours were matching as your nearly exhausted body was being brought to the edge for a third time. 

JJ hips were slamming hard into yours again, so hard you knew there would be bruises. And the grip she had on your hips was so tight you figured there would be nail marks left over too. But neither of you cared, because when JJ came on top of you again with a desperate moan you couldn’t help the cry that you let out as you felt your body release for a third time. 

And finally, finally after a brief moment, JJ moved to turn the vibration off. Your body jolted at the feeling of it finally stopping, but you couldn’t even pick up your own head to look as JJ slowly pulled the toy out from you and then her. 

“Holy shit,” JJ panted as she rolled off you and pulled your spent body to her chest. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you said breathlessly. 

“Good… we’ll give it five minutes and then I want to taste you.” 

“What?!” You perked up at that. Your body was still shaking and you knew your thighs were covered in your own cum. If you came one more time you didn’t think you’d be able to walk tomorrow. 

“I told you,” JJ traced a finger across your jaw as you looked up at her with wide eyes. “I’m not holding back anymore. Tonight I will show you who you belong to and I’m not done showing you yet.”

You gulped as you looked at the resolve in her eyes. You knew there was no stopping this once JJ had decided to let go of control, but this is all you ever wanted. So, maybe another round… or even two… wouldn’t be so bad. At least you both had the day off tomorrow.

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