#at least in the wsl
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fiddleabout · 5 months ago
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chelsea really is just becoming the fucking man city of the women's game (derogatory)
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pernillecfcw · 2 months ago
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Even though today was shit im chelsea till I die 💙💙
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handsomehers · 5 months ago
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Big transfer news guys.. Chloe Kelly is going to Arsenal 🙂
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rolandkaros · 6 months ago
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here's the problem with writing a football au ok there's like minimum 25 people on a football team and only like mayyyyybe 150 recognizable active wta players. so that's only like. six full roster teams. and anyone i put on this specific team will now have to stay on this team for the foreseeable future if i want to write a continuation of this. there are only so many tennis players i don't want to trap them all at liverpool.
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they-them-van · 2 years ago
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Queer men had the AIDS epidemic, queer women/AFABS have the ACL epidemic in women's soccer 😔
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lw-sharkpenter · 1 year ago
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can’t pretend i understand awfc’s decision to let viv go on a free, but hey
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cfcw-familyfc · 2 months ago
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my big worry now is that Sonia will try to rest all the main players for a "comeback" that's not gonna happen and then lose the game against Palace on Wednesday
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muchover · 8 months ago
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emma hayes and not giraldez might just die ig
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megid0nt · 11 months ago
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Attn. primarily linux users but also anyone who uses computers, esp those who are likely to use command line tools for network communication:
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basespar · 2 years ago
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being an astrophysics student is all fun and games until you have a morning lecture the day after an observation night
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samkerrworshipper · 5 months ago
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lights are on, but nobody’s home
barca femeni x reader
it’s unedited. i’m not sorry about it, if it puts u off then soz icbf. this fic has been in my drafts since october so it was about time i finished it! combined to fics lol to get it done and its a fast paced very vague mess but have fun :) loved the idea not the execution!
warnings: kinda angsty?
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Red cards exist in the game for a reason. You don’t deny that. Red cards are needed to keep people safe, to set a boundary between safe and unsafe play. But there had been something so undeniably unfair about yours.
You’d hurt somebody, you weren’t going to lie about that. It had been unintentional, but a risk you’d taken had ended up with the world’s best player being stretchered off the pitch, and for just that, you deserved a yellow. But a red, for a tackle that was mostly legal, seemed ridiculous. Tackles happened. As a defensive midfielder, it was your job to get the ball off attackers, it was your responsibility to make sure that you stopped the ball from being kicked in the direction of your keeper or down the field to another player. It was what cemented your spot in the English midfield; you weren’t just a good attacker; you were ferocious in defence. You averaged at least 5 tackles per game; it was the most crucial part of your game; it was fundamentally what made you a good footballer.
Arguing with the ref and using some particularly vulgar language definitely didn’t help your case but in your defence it hadn’t been a red cardable offence. It was all pointless though, the card had already been raised and pointed in your direction, you’d been booked, in a friendly of all games.
It was bad, you’d know that from the moment your cleats had stepped over the line, the incessant booing being directed towards you as you walked past Sarina the grim frown etched into the details of her face was enough of a sign. You were in a bad situation, but you’d just put your team in an even worse situation with a one less player on the field to continue the fight in the world cup final rematch. It wasn’t good, it was your job to make sure that your team was in the best situation to achieve success on the pitch and you’d jeopardised that. What you hadn’t realised was that action wasn’t only jeopardising your team, it was jeopardising you as a whole.
It had begun from the moment you’d gotten back to your hotel room later that night. Your teammates had focused all of their energy on trying to lift your spirits, with the game ending in a 1-1 draw, everyone was happy. The England team was your second family, and considering you didn’t play in the WSL like the vast majority of them, national team time was valuable to you. You sat next to Beth on the ride back to the hotel, happy to listen to her non-stop talking as a distraction for the disappointment that had settled inside of you. At team dinner, you sat sandwiched in between Grace and Ella; most dinners spent on your normal table, you struggled to get a word in, but it was the constant surrounding buzz that kept you out of your head and specifically off of your phone, and you were more grateful than usual that you had that. By the time you’d even made it to your room and gone through your nighttime routine, you still hadn’t checked your phone. It was only as you began to prepare yourself to get into bed that you headed towards your bag to fish it out. You climbed into bed, finally opening your phone for the first time, and instead of it having a handful of messages from your family and a sprinkle of Instagram notifications, there were thousands. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, newsforums, both English and Spanish; as you scrolled down the list, it only got bigger. All of it was the same, about how you’d ‘intentionally’ injured your own club teammate to benefit your national team, how you were malicious, how you had played beyond the line of safe play, how you deserved to be penalised, how you had ruined sportsmanship. It was never-ending, and the more that you read, the worse it got. You felt like a shell of yourself as your eyes scanned the different words; you completely dissociated it all. It felt like you were reading about somebody else, like there was absolutely no possibility that the sentences you were absorbing could possibly be about you. There was so much falsity behind all of it that it was hard to understand it. You’d played the same you always did, you hadn’t played dangerously, you’d played within the rules as you always did. Beyond that, you’d visited Aitana in the change rooms after the game, desperate to apologise and make sure that you hadn’t done any damage or hurt her in any way. Your play hadn’t been malicious, there hadn’t been any ill intention or hatred fueled behind it, even though every single article or post was making it seem that way. Aitana had come off after the clash purely as a caution, when you’d gone to see her, all she was dealing with was a little bit of inflammation. By the time you were both back in Barcelona, she’d be as good as new. Even after watching the replays, it was clear to anybody with eyes that all you were doing was fighting for the ball, the same as every other 1-on-1 battle throughout the game. Yet as soon as a spotlighted player got injured, it was suddenly a different story being told.
Normally you would shake it off, in general, you were the kind of person who didn’t get bothered by much, You were a bubbly and happy person, you were the kind of teammate who was always smiling and trying to make other people laugh. Usually, if you had a teammate who was in the same situation as you were now, you would be the one picking them up and trying to help them shake off all of this. It wasn’t normally a struggle for you to overcome a little bit of hate, but there was something so shattering about this. Whilst you still believed deep down that you’d done nothing wrong, it was hard to convince yourself of that when there were so many people who were telling you otherwise.
You weren’t the kind of person who regularly fell into the mind numbing action of doom scrolling, you weren’t big on social media in general, it was something you had to do because of your job but not much else beyond that. Yet right now it felt impossible to deviate away from it, every time you saw your name pop up again somewhere you were drawn to another dark place of the internet where you kept reading until you were mentioned or tagged in another post and your phone lit up with a new piece of media.
It was never ending, it just kept coming, and the longer you indulged in it, the sicker you started to feel. Had you done something wrong? Were you truly as malicious as everyone wrote? Were you the bad person they were painting you to be?
It was impossible to not consider that potentially everyone else was right, maybe you were the problem.
It was a good day to be roomed with Lucy, she’d been in bed before you’d even made it up to the room and asleep whilst you’d been showering. If the sounds of snoring were anything to go off of then she was long gone, which made you feel more secure as you muffled a sob into your pillow. It was going to be fine, by the time morning rolled around it would be forgotten. Or at least that was what you thought.
The convenience of playing your games in Spain was that unlike majority of your teammates, you were able to sleep in the following morning instead of flying back to their club teams. Lucy was gone long before you woke up, something you were specifically grateful for because whilst Lucy was mostly oblivious, you weren’t sure if you would have been able to hide your red eyes and puffy face. You hadn’t had much sleep, but even in the few hours that you had managed to get, the notifiations on your phone had only multiplied significantly. Every second your phone lit up again, and for the sake of your own brain you chose to switch it off completely. If you stayed in the shower a little longer because you got so lost thinking about it all that your feet started to go numb from the water pressure there was nobody around to say anything about it. If you happened to space out halfway through your skincare and accidentally spill half of your serum down the sink it was nothing a bit of water from the sink couldn’t fix. Every time you thought you’d forgotten about it all, like you’d drifted away from everything you’d read and then suddenly it all came back to you like some sick fever dream. It was the same words that kept circulating, and every time it came back to you it was impossible to just let it go.
You were half way dressed when your door was knocked on. It was what woke you up to the fact that you had absolutely no idea what time it was or how long you’d spent spaced out and in your brain.
You weren’t shocked to find Keira waiting outside your door, looking significantly more put together then you were.
“Mate, I’ve texted you about 30 times. The taxis here to take us to the airport.”
Fuck. You’d forgotten that you were taking a group taxi instead of leaving the hotel individually.
“Give me five minutes, I slept in and forgot to pack up last night.”
Keira cut you off before you continued your ramble of excuses.
“I’ll help you pack up, you focus on getting dressed and sorting yourself out, okay?”
Keira wasn’t your closest friend, she was one of the few people on the Barcelona team that spoke fluent english which grouped the two of you together. She was also one of your idols coming through as the youngest midfielder in the English and Barcelona squad. But personality wise the two of you didn’t jell, you were too energetic and a little bit too immature to buddy up with her. It didn’t change the fact that she was basically an older sister to you. She wasn’t exactly the person you’d go to for relationship advice or confess your troubling thoughts to. But she was the person you could rely on to help you in any situation without asking questions, and this really was an extension of that.
Keira made quick work of packing up your things from around your room whilst you finished getting dressed and putting your hair in a messy bun.
By the time you’d made yourself look just enough presentable for the public eye Keira was done, all of your bags piled together at your hotel room door.
“I found your phone at the bottom of your bag, looks like you might want to charge it before the drive.”
Right now, your phone felt like a block of dynamite, balancing in Keira’s hand, ready to explode at any second.
“No, I just turned it off.”
You didn’t really think about how odd your words could sound until they’d left your mouth, and Keira’s eyebrows were raising quickly.
“You just turned it off?”
It’s an unusual behaviour for you, one that Keira has clearly picked up on by the tone in her voice. Your phone is practically an extension of you, the team didn’t joke about you having square eyes for nothing. Always getting people to film tiktoks or do stupid challenges.
“Yes?”
You actively observe all of the cogs in Keira’s brain turning, she looks like she has a lot to say, but then she glances down at her watch and it’s clear that the fact that you are running well behind time takes priority.
“Let’s go, the taxi is waiting.”
Keira practically pushed you out of the hotel room, all of your bags in her hands and ushering you straight towards the elevator.
As she’d said, the taxi is waiting in front of the lobby, the driver looks particularly ticked off as he waits outside the drivers side door, his foot tapping and a cigarette hanging halfway out of his mouth. Keira loads your suitcase into the boot of the car whilst you take your backpack off of her and hop into the back of the car, Keira follows and sits down across from you.
The first five minutes of the ride are silent, Keira flicks through her phone whilst you stare out the tinted window and pretend that you can see the things passing by.
“You can talk to me you know? I know we’re not exactly the closest, but I’m here for you.”
You don’t bother to look in Keira’s direction, you keep your eyes and facial expression schooled and focused on the window.
“Anything the media writes is bullshit, you ought to just ignore it.”
You wished you could have ignored it last night, when theoretically you were at your most vulnerable. Maybe if you hadn’t of read so much when you were already in a bad mindset it wouldn’t have imprinted so much, regardless it has and you can’t just ignore it.
“Kei, I’m fine. When have I ever cared what the papers write about me?”
Now, right now is when you care. It’s a fair statement though, you’ve never been affected when tabloids have written far worse things about you, when you came out and for months there was homophobic slander everywhere you looked. In the past it hadn’t been based off of facts, it had all been fictitious. But now that there is just a inkling of truth behind what’s being written it feels far more real and you aren’t sure how to get past that.
“I’m just saying that there isn’t anything wrong with being affected by it. Especially after last night, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that.”
This is the trouble between you and Keira, she’s a lot more frank. In your opinion it’s a thing that comes with age, whilst she’s very happy to admit when she’s going through a hard time you’d rather cover it up with jokes and pretend that it doesn’t actually bother you. The trouble with your approach is that it only works for so long before people start to see you fraying at the edges or you completely break down from the pressure.
“Just mad I hurt your bestfriend, huh?”
The only response you get from Keira is a loud exhale, the same a mother would when her child makes a immature joke at a immature time. Immaturity is your coping mechanism, because by default people tend to be put off by it, they naturally gravitate away from it. Furthermore they gravitate away from whatever conversation or confrontation they were going to have.
“I’m not mad, I’m concerned for you and how something like this can affect a persons career.”
It’s too many feelings, to much concern, too much. You don’t deserve it and you definitely do not want it.
“I’m fine, we play football, it’s part of it all.”
You still haven’t looked at Keira but you could make an educated guess and assume that she looks deflated. It’s another reason that out of Keira and Lucy you’d always gotten along better with Lucy, you didn’t care to admit it but she knew how to get to the bottom of all of your weird cues and knew what was right and wrong to say. Keira’s too smart for her own good, and it doesn’t work on you, it never has. She’s all you have at Barca now though, besides Roebs, whose been too focused on her rehab and getting back on the pitch to be much of a friend.
“Hate shouldn’t be part of it. If you need to talk about the fact that some part of it is clearly bothering you then I’m here, anybody else on the team is here. Okay?”
You nod purely for the sake of ending the conversation, you can’ even figure out how you feel about it all, let alone trying to rationalise it with Keira. You’re upset, yet you can’t quite get to the bottom of it. You’ve never been upset before when your actions have ended in somebody else getting injured, it’s a rare occurence and when it happens you feel a little bit of guilt but usually it fades. Injury is part of the game, it happens all the time right in front of your eyes. You suppose Aitana isn’t actually injured though, she’s sore and has a low grade ankle sprain but it’s nowhere near the same as her tearing her acl or breaking a bone because of you. You just feel drained, it’s odd, you put it down to the fact that you hardly got any sleep last night but you have this underlying feeling that it’s somehow more than that, yet you have no explanation for it.
After a long break of silence Keira and yourself fall into a fairly bland conversation about the upcoming fixtures and winter break plans. It’s so evident that there is tension in every word each of you speak, like you’re both a few syllables away from saying something that neither of you want to.
Luckily Keira is a lot more cautious than most people, unlike most of you friends or teammates in general she can control herself to a respectable level and can stop herself from word vomiting emotion fueled spieles.
By the time the driver pulls up in front of your apartment building not much has been said at all, but the overarching feeling is tense, it doesn’t feel good and the mixture of it with the everything else is making you feel sick. Keira gives you a hug after helping you unload your luggage and then leaves you. You know that outwardly you’re presenting that you want to be left alone yet everything in you is being used to stop yourself from clinging onto Keira and asking her to stay with you.
Your week is a lot of the same feelings. You have two days to yourself before training starts again and the two days are spent in bed. If you aren’t scrolling on your phone andreading every single thing that has your name mentioned then you are sleeping, or crying, or lying in bed thinking about it all. Every text from one of your teammates is left unopened, none of it matters when every single waking moment of your life is being spent thinking about the moment over and over again. It’s not just your career, not just the fact that you’re going to have to sit out in the next fixture and potentially tarnish your relationship with Sarina. You hurt Aitana, you hurt your ownt teammate. Your own actions had caused harm to somebody that you cared about. Every article, tiktok, post they were all painting you in some kind of negative light, like you were a demon hiding behind smiles. It was hard not to consider the truth behind it all, had you done what you did with malicious intent?
By the time training finally rolled around you were feeling even worse than you had a couple of days ago. Even though you’d been sleeping for hours a day there wer ebig eye bags under your eyes, you were pale and looked like you were sick. It was noticed by your teammates almost immediately, you weren’t even fully dressed in the change rooms before Pina was punching on you, talking rapidly in Catalan that you didn’t remotely understand.
“Chica, you missed our games night last night. To busy sleeping off the four goals you scored over the break, no? You need to leave some goals for other people.”
You shook Pina off as quickly as you could, you had a focus for the day and that was getting all of this over with. You had a game in three days, a game that you couldn’t ruin for your team again.
“Estas bien?”
You finish pulling your training top on and sit down on the bench in front of your locker.
“Estoy Bien.”
You focus on getting a sock on each of your feet and then your boots.
“Chica?”
There is concern laced in Pina’s voice, she’s still standing in front of you. Almost everybody else has made their way out onto the pitch, leaving the two of you and a couple of stragglers behind.
“You don’t look so good chica, are you feeling okay?”
Your boots are easy enough to lace up, once you’re done you reach behind you for your jacket, not quite sure if it’s warm enough to train in just your shirt.
“Estoy Bien. Vale?”
Before Pina can ask much more, you begin to walk towards the doors of the locker room. It’s breezy enough outside that you choose to put your jumper on, as do most of your teammates.
Aitana is doing individual training, because of her ankle. Pere says that it’s precautionary.
If you weren’t already feeling like you were on the brink of vomiting then now it’s the only thing you can feel. You feel ill, you feel completely absorbed by the sickness pooled at the bottom of your stomach. When Pere asks if you’re feeling alright you can’t say no, because you have no reason to feel as badly as you do. But it’s all the words, they’re spinning around in your head, every article, every single word.
It shows on the pitch, every decision, every pass, every shot, every tackle is helf back. You’re fearufl and it shows.
When training finally does finish, and Aitana is still working by herself with one of the coaches on another pitch you feel like it’s almost your breaking point. Until Pere pulls you over again and lets you know that you’ll be starting for the match on the weekend as a replacement for Aitana.
That’s your breaking point. You have nothing to say, nothing to think. You feel like a zombie as you walk towards the locker room. You sabotaged your teammate for your own good.
As soon as the team list is out that’s the only thing people will be saying, You don’t even want to think about what people will think when they see the photos of Aitana training by herself with her ankle all taped up. Whilst you were out on the pitch with all of your teammates. What was just starting to get better for you was only bound to relapse with the new information.
All of the girls notice your shift in behaviour. It’s Pina though who approaches Alexia on your third day of training back. Aitana is still training individually, purely for precaution and preservation. There are more important games then the one coming on the weekend and it’s not worth aggravating the small injury. It doesn’t feel like that to you though, and it’s been abundantly clear to everybody that something is up with you.
“Alexia, can I talk to you for a second?”
Alexia’s been talking to Irene about ….. for at least ten minutes and whilst Pina has no interest in interrupting it’s getting boring waiting around for a conversation to end that’s clearly dragging.
Alexia looks so care free, and Pina asking to talk to her shouldn’t change that, but the look that’s on her face changes Alexia’s demeanour almost immediately.
“What’s up?”
Pina looks at Irene awkwardly, like she’s not sure if the information she’s about to share with Alexia is for Irene’s ears. Irene seems to get the message, farewelling the two of them before heading off.
“I’m worried about y/n.”
Alexia’s silently been wondering whether to approach the subject. She’d thouyght about asking Keira is something had happened on England camp, considering that your particularly filthy mood had seemed to start afterwards. It was out of character for you, and originally Alexia had thought it was all part of some sort of prank plot. But as the last couple of days had passed it had become drastically clear that there was something else wrong. She’d thought it would be smarter to give you the benefit of the doubt, everyone had bad weeks. Alexia wasn’t aware of any relationships you were in but she wouldn’t have been shocked if your mood had been due to a breakup or something of similar origin.
“Ale, she’s been acting strange. She comes in everyday and hardly talks to anybody, she doesn’t joke around with use like she normally does, she hasn’t been answering our groupchat, she’s been avoiding all of our plans to hang out. Out on the pitch she’s been cautious but so unphased and she won’t talk to me or Ona or Patri or Kika or Esmee and I don’t know what to do anymore. Somethings really wrong, normally she’s so happy, I mean everyones noticed that the locker room has been more quiet. I thought it was going to pass, but she’s seemed really upset, like somethings really wrong and what’s happening on the internet can’t be helping it.”
The problem is that Alexia doesn’t disagree with anything that Pina is saying, she can’t dismiss any of it as overreaction because whether it’s been conscious or not she has noticed all of the things that she’s being told. She hadn’t yet pieced it all together as one thing but now that all the puzzle pieces are being laid out in front of her it seems impossible to ignore that it’s all coming together.
“On the internet? De qúe estás hablando?”
Alexia is the first to admit that she’s not exactly the best with technology, sure she’s got all the social media apps and Olga is constantly trying to teach her the ways of all of them but it doesn’t particularly interest her. She finds it easier to look at them as another means of work, it’s how she makes money, posting about football and endorsements. Otherwise she finds enjoyment in places besides her phone. Does it keep her slightly out of the loop? Yes. Does she have younger teammates to keep her up to date? Also yes.
“All the stuff about Aitana. I haven’t read into it much, but I know it’s not good. The media have been slaughtering her for that red card. She punishes herself enough after a bad tackle or pass, I can’t imagine what a red card would do.”
Alexia makes a mental note to look into it later but for now she knows that she needs to deescalate. Because if Pina is telling Alexia now then it’s not long before it blows up within the team.
“Okay. I’ll talk to her tomorrow after the game, if she’s still off I’ll talk to her. I’ll have a chat with Keira and ask if anything asked on camp, bueno? Whatever it is Pina, it can be fixed, all problems can be fixed. I’m sure it’s just been a rough week with all the travel and games, not everybody can adjust well, mixed with the recent fixtures it would be expected that everyone is feeling a bit more exhausted.”
It’s the rationalisation that seems to calm Pina down more, which was ultimately Alexia’s end goal. She can deal with you tomorrow but for now it’s crucial that she stops this from escalating within the team. When things spread it all becomes more drama and it’s not good, distractions are not what everybody needs leading into the next fixtures.
Alexia honestly forgets about the conversation completely. Between organising dinner the night before, stretching, spending quality time with her girlfriend and generally just getting herself game ready and in a good head space. She woke up feeling rested and prepared for the game ahead.
You however, were quite simply a mess. You’d hardly slept in over a week now, if you did sleep you woke up in a sweat after a particularly brutal nightmare, you were hardly eating because you always felt so nauseous from the anxiety and your performance on the football pitch had been dismaying.
Alexia, and your teammates, weren’t noticing the smaller things. You lived in your own apartment, in your own building. Nobody was aware of everything that was contributing to all the things that were beginning to show.
Alexia, hyper vigilant after Pina’s admission decided that she’d try and find you before everyone hopped on the bus to head to the opposing stadium, yet you were nowhere to be found. As everyone loaded onto the bus she almost missed you. Usually, you sat at the back, with the younger girls. Normally, Alexia gravitated somewhere in the middle of the bus, she was too old to be singing or messing around at the back but she liked to still be kept in the mix.
It was why she almost missed you, hunched into a seat almost at the very front of the bus.
“Chica?”
The way your whole body darted upwards as soon as you heard Alexia was another concerning thing that she was adding to a mental list.
“Capi.”
You pull your headphones off as a courtesy, but the reintroduction to the sounds of earth and the environment around you brings you right back to everything you’ve been feeling.
“Are you waiting for Kika or Vicky?”
Alexia feels like she already knows your answer, but she’s hanging on to a thread of hope that whatever Pina is feeling isn’t as bad as it seems.
“No, I need some sleep and it’s impossible to get any back there without somebody sticking something in my mouth or posting videos of me with my mouth half open.”
Alexia laughs, it’s the exact reason she can’t sit up the back anymore, it’s too much stupidity in a concentrated space.
“Ah, normally you’re more than happy to terrorize the rest of us, normalmente eres la reina de los estupidas.”
When your face doesn’t even respond slightly to Alexia and you have no witty comeback about her being boring or something else it’s another clear sign that something is up, she just can’t quite pin point what.
You’ve tuned out from her though, and as much as she is worried and thrown off, the bus is not a place to make a scene, specifically before a match. You will not take well to Alexia interrogating you and potentially causing any kind of emotional distress.
So, even though it pains her to do so, she walks on, she leaves you in the sinking ship you’re currently n in, taking on more and more water as every minute passes.
You’re at a point where you can admit to yourself that you are in no way fit to play.
You don’t want to be on the pitch, the fans don’t want you on the pitch, your teammates musn’t want you on the pitch, Pere wouldn’t have you on the pitch if Aitana was available and when you think about it the whole footballing world doesn’t want you on the pitch.
You flinch when you walk out to warm up and are met with boos, the Spanish fans are unlike all other fans, their passion is palpable and when one person starts booing everybody follows suit. It’s not even Barcelona fans, which is undecidedly worse and better. The overall impression is that you’ve aggravated the Spanish people.
It takes your teammates a couple of seconds to catch on to who it is the anger is being directed at but once they do it’s a domino affect of everybody turning to you, and then turning to each other and back to you. You try your best to not let it affect you, you’ve been booed before and have dealt with many angry fans, but when it starts to echo from the away side of the stands you honestly question if you’ve pushed yourself a little bit too hard.
Alexia regrets her decision not to say something to you when she sees the complete fear in your eyes as you look around at the crowd, who are vehemently booing you. It’s not a good feeling on any day to clearly have a crowd so against you but when you’re clearly off kilter as it is it’s clear that it all throws you off even more.
Before Alexia can think about it, she’s beelining straight to Keira.
“What happened on camp?”
Keira is just as thrown off by what is occurring as everyone else.
“England camp?”
It’s clear in the bewilderment in Keira’s face that she’s not understood what Alexia’s asking.
“With y/n, did something happen that nobody knows about?”
The booing finally comes to an end, but it doesn’t change the overall energy in which a whole crowd is sending your way.
“She was fine all camp, being an idiot with grace and beth and being her usual self. All the other games she was fine, and then after the Spain game, after the red card, she’s just been acting different. It’s like G at Man City all over again.”
Alexia understands everything that Keira’s saying, until the last sentence. Her English is pretty good, hger understanding is almost perfect, speaking less so but the last few words completely surpass her level of interpretation.
“G? Man City?”
Alexia notices you in the corner of her eye doing shooting practice, every time you miss and echo of cheers erupts.
“Georgia? Stanway? A couple of years ago, when she was young she got a stupid red card, it wasn’t pretty not dissimilar to the challenge on Aitana. Big mess with the media, got some really nasty messages.”
She doesn’t remember the moment itself, but she does remember reading something about it a couple of years ago.
“Gracias.”
You’re red hot with rage already, the crowd has you amped up. When Pere questions you in the locker room about your state of mind, you are quite literally in a blinding fury. It the kind of sadness fueled anger, youa re literally ripping apart at the seams and instead of actually feeling all of the innate anguish you are experiencing you turn it into anger.
“Why the fuck did you go to Pere and tell him I wasn’t ready to play.”
The tunnel is the only time you’ve been able to talk to Alexia, she’d been so held up with the pep talk, then talking to Pere, then giving inspiration to everybody else. But now that you have the opportunity you can’t ignore it.
Alexia’s eyes are ahead, you’re stuck standing behind her but she can hear you perfectly clear.
“After the game.”
It had taken enough effort for you to convince Pere that you were fine. You were begging for a starting spot that you didn’t even want, a spot that is actually making you feel sick to your stomach. It’s the doubt though, you doubted yourself in that stupid tackle that got you the card, so if you doubted yourself what was to stop everybody else from doubting you?
“No, what makes you think that you can talk to our coach about my game fitness without even talking to me? Do you have any respect for me at all?”
Alexia turns around, and it makes you feel slightly validated and slightly less like you’re about to punch her in the head.
“It’s not about your fitness.”
The punching in the head feeling returns pretty quickly.
“Not about my fitness? What the fuck else is it then? Just because I don’t act like a dickhead on the bus and decide to take a nap?”
Alexia gives you on final look before turning around, the look on her face only adds to your sickeningly consuming anger.
You go onto the pitch angry, which isn’t good for anything. Every time the ball lands at your feet, boos echo out. Every time you get tackled, which is fairly frequently because the opposition has chosen you as the punching bag for the game, cheers erupt. The game is easy enough, 90 percent of possession is with Barcelona, with you spot in the midfield the ball comes to you every few seconds. It’s mostly fine, for the first ten or so minutes. Until the tackles start to get rougher, and you’re mad, and the crowd is loud and everything feels so incredibly wrong.
It’s working you up at a fast rate, then the ball lands at your feet for the 50th time in the match already, and without even looking up at your defender, who three seconds before was standing right in front of you, her studs are placing themselves directly into your calf. It’s not a comfortable feeling, to put it lightly. You manage to clear the ball before you’re on your back, clutching at your leg and trying your best to breathe as the crowd cries out, your opponent mutters something aggressively in spanish and your teammates argue with the referee.
It’s all too much. Your just angry, and upset. Not even at your defender or at the tackle, just at all of it. You think in a roundabout way that this is all karma, that this is your punishment for whatever you did to anger everyone and yourself. You’re tired and fed up and want it all to go away.
You want to sink into the grass of the pitch and just disappear, it would make your life so much easier if in this moment you could just disappear and not face any of the stuff that is happening.
Then there are hands on you and you’re reminded that it’s nowhere near that easy.
“Estas bien? Necesitas la medica?”
You force yourself to stand up, push through, get it over with. You need to prove everybody wrong.
Whether you can see it or not, you are spinning out. Everybody else can see it, you’re frantic, timid and shaken. Patri is the one to put her hands on your shoulders and steady you before you try to return to play.
“You need to go off.”
Twenty minutes have passed, you aren’t going to force a sub when it is unnecessary.
“I’m fine.”
Patri shakes her head, in the same way Irene or Marta would when they are being tough.
“You are not okay, and you need to go off before something worse than that happens.”
You shake Patri off, and when she tries to come back you give her a shove.
“I’m fucking fine. I know when I can and cannot play.”
Like every other attempt that’s been made to try and stop you, she just frowns and walks away. The ref gives you a once over before allowing the game to return to play.
It’s not fine, nothing is fine. Your defender continuously gets away with dangerous tackles that should be continous yellow cards, the crowd is getting to you with every passing second. By gods grace three goals are scored in a few minutes, not only does it silence the opposition it puts you at ease a little bit. For the most part, you’re doing okay, or as okay as possible.
Until it gets to a corner.
There is two minutes of stoppage time, which have well and truly been used up. The corner is going to be the last play and it’s impact is not super important but the pressure is still there. You end up sandwiched between the two centre backs, and for whatever reason when the boot releases off of Patri’s foot from the corner instead of running to make room like you’re supposed to, you are yanked directly to the ground, with two boots stepping directly onto your legs.
It’s not agony, it’s definitely not good but you’re spending more time trying to not cry and collect air then focusing on everything else.
You can’t breathe, and you physically can’t stop the sob that leaves your mouth, it’s pathetic but it’s been building and you can’t stop it.
You don’t bother with listening to the call, or letting your teammates help you up or worrying about the play. The whistle has blown and you have one mission, to go anywhere away from people. You force yourself to stand up even though your back hurts from falling flat on it and your thighs hurt from being stomped on, and walk off.
Pere and the bench are still waiting in the dug out, normally you’d hug or talk or anything but right now the only thing on your mind is getting away, because if you don’t then what is now only tears is going to turn into a full panic attack. You’re working simply off of pure instinct, you have the shutters on and the only thing you are focusing on is your end goal and getting there. When you get to the changing rooms it’s empty, you bee line straight through to the bathroom and lock yourself in a stall before you actually let yourself think beyond the orders that have been set out in your mind.
Like everyone had said, you aren’t ready. You are living with the knowledge that because of your actions, your stupid actions you are being given a spot and opportunity that you didn’t deserve, you got it purely based off of the fact that you injured one of your teammates. Now you can’t even live up to the expectation of being a replacement.
The feeling that was initially what you had thought to be anxiety sickness builds up and all of a sudden you’re grateful your in the bathroom because within a couple of seconds you are kneeled on the floor letting your whole stomach contents out. It’s not a good feeling, you’ve been slowly descending towards rock bottom for days now but you’ve come to the realisation that this is it, this is your lowest point. Every time you think about the pitch you subsequently think about the crowd which leads you to think about everything happening inside your phone and then the sick feeling is back full force. The you think about Aitana, her ankle, her spot, her training, everything. All of that combined and all you can do is cry, it’s the only emotional outlet that you have enough energy for. You’d love to be able to punch something or throw something but you don’t have the energy, you’re running off of no sleep, hardly any food and now the fatigue of playing a half of football.
“Chica, can you open the door?”
Truthfully there are not many people you want to see in this moment or really ever again but Alexia might be at the top of the list. You’d been a little bit star struck when you’d gotten to Barcelona, you were an up and coming and to be on a roster with the best midfielders in the world was something you were in awe of. You were still slightly in awe of the fact that you were sharing a bench with two ballon d’or winners.
“I’m fine.”
You force yourself to stay as silent as possible even though it’s hard with the constant sobs building up inside of your chest.
“Please open the door.”
You’re at rock bottom and even if you try to swim out you’re going to need some help at some stage you suppose.
As soon as you open the door there is a resounding gasp, you close your eyes to keep a little bit of your inner peace whilst Alexia steps into the stall and locks the door behind her. There is just enough room for her to squeeze down on the floor next to you so she does without any hesitation.
“I don’t need you telling me that you were right to question me playing and that it was a bad idea, I’m already aware.”
You’re not sore from the match and yet everything hurts, you actually feel like your limbs are slowly being ripped off of your body and everything is being split open.
“I wasn’t going to say that, I was going to ask if you’re okay.”
It’s a complicated question.
“Physically yes.”
Your eyes are still closed, if you look at Alexia then suddenly this all becomes a whole lot more real.
“Mentally, emotionally?”
Just the question is enough to essentially demuzzle you, everything you were doing to stop yourself from crying out fails, and you start sobbing, in the loudest and ugliest way possible.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Alexia bunches up jext to you, slings an arm around your shoulders and brings you in closer.
“Don’t apologise when you didn’t do anything wrong, even if everyone else is making it seem like you did.”
Deep down you do believe you did something wrong, you don’t exactly know what but you must have, you must have done something because why else would all of this have happened.
“I hurt Aitana, I took her spot, I sabotaged her.”
The crying is cathartic, you’ve been crying for days but in an unemotionally detached way to expel some of the depression instead of actually feeling it.
“No you didn’t. You mis-timed a tackle that ended in a very minor injury. Football is a game of injuries, it happens. I don’t care what you’ve read online or what you’ve heard, the facts are simple. Anyone on our team or the england team can tell you that. Nobody blames you for what happened, not even Aitana. So you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
It’s easier to blame yourself you think.
“Everybody hates me, all I’m getting are messages about how I deserve to die and how people wish I’m never able to have kids or that I get injured as payback.”
Alexia’s deep breath makes you feel queasy all over again.
“What we’re going to do is delete all of your social media apps for the next few weeks, nothing is going to make people stop being putas, si? So for your own sake you’re going to delete all of them, turn all of your comments off, turn your messages off. There is nothing more important then your peace of mind, once that’s gone then this happens. You deserve better than this, you deserve to feel better than this. You also deserve to have fun and enjoy being a part of this team, nobody thinks you sabotaged Aitana, nobody blames you. You are just as welcome here as you were before the break, you are just as valued here as you were before the break. This stupid situation is not worth your health, si?”
You wipe away some of your tears, even though they’re still coming and nod.
“You deserve better, and until people realise that we need to focus on making sure that you know that.”
You feel specifically worthless, and it’s completely your own doing.
“Now, we need to get up before my legs go to sleep and my old body is stuck on the floor in here. Not everybody has young bones like you kids.”
You flush whatever parts of your stomach decided they wanted to resurface and force yourself to stand up, but as you do so the realisation that you are midway through a match comes back and all off a sudden you feel the need to sit down again.
“I told Pere to take you off for the rest of the game, I was coming off anyway, managing minutes. You can get dressed or shower, or do whatever you need to do and then we’lltalk a bit more about how we can turn this around. I’m serious when I say that the main focus is you right now and supporting you.”
You ignore the fact that nothing was ever mentioned about Alexia managing minutes and just accept that it’s a pointless argument and you don’t exactly mind her company right now. It’s nice to know that there is somebody shining a light for you at the end of the tunnel.
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woso-dreamzzz · 11 months ago
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Idol
Barcelona Femení x Teen!Reader
Summary: You manage to humiliate yourself in front of everyone
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Your first ever tournament with England ends in defeat.
Defeat to Spain by one goal.
You'd contributed well through the campaign, coming on as a super sub most matches.
You were still young, nearly sixteen but still making waves in the Championship. You'd played at Bristol City, helping them secure promotion.
Then you'd gotten the call from Sarina to join her World Cup squad.
You'd happily accepted.
A natural midfielder, you'd tended to replace whoever needed to be replaced during the World Cup campaign and made waves with the amount of chances you'd created.
Most of them never came to anything, an intercepted pass or a save by the keeper.
But you still made chances, still unpicked midfields and defences like it was easy.
You were a talent, hidden away in the Championship where no one could see you.
You were adaptable, able to play wherever you were put, eager to get just ten minutes on the pitch to show off your skills.
You were a little bummed at hearing your friend Grace would be called away from Bristol City now they were in the wsl but you reckoned you'd still see each other during matches.
That had been the plan until Barcelona paid your release clause.
You'd only been signed to Bristol for one year, your first academy contract and you were already being transferred over to a different team.
To Barcelona.
That was the scary thing.
Their midfield was stacked. You'd even go so far as to say the best midfield in the world, at least in your humble opinion.
In your humble opinion as well, you'd never been more excited.
You were as English as they came but your uncle had worked in Spain straight out of university and only got interested in football because his coworkers dragged him out to a Barcelona game.
You'd have to thank them at some point, for igniting that love of football and Barcelona in him because it was the only reason he'd started you in football in the first place.
'My niece will play for Barcelona one day' is what he'd said to people.
And here you were, practically trembling at Keira's side as you looked up at the building.
You'd come into the England team by yourself, not knowing anyone.
It's nice to know that you have Keira and Lucy here with you now. You don't think you would be able to cope with introducing yourself to such legendary players by yourself.
The nerves threaten to overtake you but you force yourself to stay strong. You force yourself not to show your new teammates how in awe of them you are.
"You'll do great, kid," Keira says to you, ruffling your hair.
"Just try not to embarrass yourself," Lucy teases," We know what you're like."
Your face flushes red and you look down.
"Lucy, leave her alone."
You both know what Lucy's referring to though.
You were a Barcelona supporter through and through but you had a great deal of respect for anyone that played in the midfield. You'd nearly thrown up all over Keira and Georgia when you first met them, mindlessly blurting out their statistics from last season that you'd memorised from watching all of their games before the embarrassment set into your bones.
It was nearly the most embarrassing moment of your life, second only that time when you had accidentally knocked both you and Grace out at training by trying to head the ball at the same time as her.
Lucy and Keira were sworn to secrecy over the first matter and you knew they wouldn't betray you to anyone who wasn't English.
Both times were humiliating but, at least, at Barcelona it was a fresh start.
Or, it would have been an embarrassment-free fresh start had you not completely humiliated yourself the moment Alexia Putellas shook your hand.
"You'reonmywall!"
The words rush out of your mouth before you can even stop them and Lucy bursts into hysterical laughter.
Keira catches your shocked expression as you turn to look at her, brows shooting up to your hairline and eyes wide like you can't even understand why you opened your mouth in the first place. It would have been better if you pretended to be mute.
Alexia Putellas cocks her head to the side curiously.
"What was that?"
Fuck.
She even sounds understanding.
"I...er...It's nothing."
"She said that you're on her wall," Lucy, the traitor, says once she's recovered from her laughter.
Somehow, your face burns even brighter and you hide away behind Keira.
"On her wall?"
"As a poster," Lucy confirms, nodding," She collects them."
"Please stop. Keira, make her stop," You beg but Keira just soothingly pats you on the back.
"No accounting for taste," Patri Guijarro teases, laughing herself as her hand falls onto your shoulder," Is it just Ale on your wall?"
"I..."
"Lots of different players," Keira says, saving you from embarrassing yourself further yet somehow managing to still humiliate you," Not just Alexia."
"Is it a good picture of me?" Patri asks, already assuming there's a poster of her somewhere up in your childhood bedroom," Did it catch my best side? Because some photographers don't, you know."
"Am I on it too?" Pina asks," I don't think there's enough posters of me. I should be on more people's walls."
"It was a group poster. Everyone's on it," You manage to force out of your mouth.
"Except the Alexia poster," Keira, to your horror, keeps talking," That one's solo."
"Keira!"
This whole situation is super humiliating and you can't make eye contact with anyone.
A finger taps your shoulder though and it's rude not to look at someone when they want to talk to you so you have to force your eyes up.
Alexia Putellas is the one that tapped you and your throat bobs nervously.
"I am on your wall?"
"Yes?"
"You play midfield, right?"
"I do."
"I thought so," She says," When I heard we were signing you, I watched some of your games. You had some good ones during the World Cup. You were Bristol City's playmaker."
You nod. "I...Er, that's what they said, yeah."
Her hand goes over your shoulders.
"You have a lot of talent but you hesitate too much. You could have scored in the World Cup final if you hadn't passed the ball. Come on, I have a few tricks I think will work well for you."
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softidiotsposts · 4 months ago
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Color Clash
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mega fans are scary...aren't they?
{Hello! From this lovely request (please feel free to leave requests! i love them) Warnings: chelsea/lioness!reader, fluffy fluff, some crack and good vibes :) // word count: 2.3K}
masterlist
The London derby is quite an interesting event in the WSL, not only is it a clash between two of the most formable teams in the whole league but also quite the drama show.
Cards like to fly out of the pockets of referees, especially if McCabe is playing, players dive left, right and center but it's the atmosphere that is most important.
It's absolutely electric, so much so that it sends jolts down you- fans from each time show up fully decked out in their teams respective gear, holding banners, scarves and shirts to show their dedication and you thrive off the attention- you always have loved playing in front of a crowd.
Maybe that’s a part of why you love every single derby, maybe even more than the average player- Mostly because it feels really really good to win over your girlfriend's team but also because you're Chelsea through and through, no doubt about it.
You had grown up in Hammersmith and went to every single game you could- Stamford Bridge was practically your second home, right after to the local football pitch where you spent the remainder of your free time. You trained relentlessly and it all paid off when Chelsea's academy accepted you into their ranks- the rest is history.
At this point, after spending your whole career at Chelsea and clearly stating you'd never want to transfer anywhere else, you have become quite the face of Chelsea women.
That's kind of what makes your relationship with Leah so surprising.
Sure, you'd know each other for a while with both of you playing for England and all but the possibility of either of you dating the other was slim (at least in your teammates opinions) but you've never hated Arsenal- Sure, you'd never be caught dead in red but otherwise you were fine... unless they won of course.
You and Leah danced around your feelings for a while- it made England camps quite awkward, since the two of you were always some of the first to be called up and at that point you had nearly kissed multiple times- and had been forced to room together quite a few times. 
But after the Euros win, with alcohol coursing through your veins, a push from Lucy and the high from the medal around your neck so finally confessed your feelings.
Through karaoke.
Which Beth convinced you was a good idea and you stupidly made a fool of yourself, singing You Belong With Me at full volume in the worst tone ever not only in front of Leah but most of the squad. 
In the end though, it did win Leah's heart so maybe you should thank Beth?
Ever since then, England camps have gone by like a breeze, the only minus was that you and Leah could never bunk together but you realize there are worse things. You could only be thankful that the international window allowed for the two of you to play in England shirts together- unlike the London derby.
You roll over and wrap an arm around Leah, sighing into her neck as you pull her closer.
"Don't you have meetings or something before the game?" Leah chuckles and wraps her arms over yours where they are resting on her chest.
"I dunno, do I?" You say, eyes still closed in hopes of getting another five minutes.
Leah is not so forgiving because she manages to get out of your iron grip and gets out of bed, it makes you groan and roll over back over to the other side.
"I wouldn't know would I, darling?"
You sigh and crack an eye open to see Leah standing at the foot of the bed, looking at you with an expecting expression.
"Well, I'm not about to reveal secrets to the enemy."
You stick out your tongue at Leah and she laughs then throws one of the pillows that is resting by her feet at you. Then another and another, until you can't breathe because you're being suffocated by throw pillows.
"I yield! I yield!" You yell and throw the pillows off your head.
Then Leah pounces on you, straddling you on the bed and pinning your shoulders down. You smirk and wiggle your eyebrows suggestively making Leah scoff.
"I'm just trying to get information out of the enemy." Leah laughs and leans down to give you a long kiss, it's soft and utterly melts you into a puddle.
You kiss her back just as deeply before she pulls back to peck your cheek lightly.
"Is your method bribery, baby?"
"Maybe, is it working?" Leah presses another kiss to your lips and you moan into it- absolutely loving the way her lips feel on yours.
"Yeah- I think so." You say softly and Leah smiles then rolls off of you.
"Hey!" You reach for her but she's already too far away to drag her back into bed with you.
Leah tuts at you, "I don't think Bompastor will be happy if you're late- maybe she'll pull you out of the starting eleven?"
You gasp, with fake betrayal, "She would never and I'm not going to be late, she needs me to beat you."
Leah raises her eyebrows at you, "You beat us? Not going to happen, babe."
You laugh and finally roll out of bed only to tackle Leah back into it, she yelps and holds onto your forearms when you practically throw her over your shoulder in a half rugby tackle.
"Really? Because I swear we beat you at the Em-"
Leah covers you mouth with her hand to prevent you from speaking and you furrow your brows at her and she smirks back.
"Shhhh, baby- you don't know what you're talking about."
You reach to remove her hand and after doing so smile sweetly.
"I scored two that game, Lee."
She groans and gives you a little playful shove.
"Don't remind me."
You lean in to kiss her, hoping that it would soften to blow off your words and you think it works since Leah kisses back with just as much enthusiasm.
It's after a far too long make out session that you actually get ready, triple checking you had put on the correct things, packed your boots and not Leah's by accident and made sure that you had all you needed.
Then you're both standing by the door, saying goodbye with a light kiss,
"Hattrick for me in this game?" You tease and Leah rolls her eyes.
Then scoffs, "You're not getting past our defense, baby."
You wave her off with a, "Sure," Before walking to your car; a bright blue Skoda that Leah hates since it has a very proud Chelsea bumper sticker and probably because you have around a thousand other pieces of memorabilia inside of it.
The drive to the stadium is filled with minor road rage and lots of waiting because of all the London traffic but you eventually make it to the stadium on time. You might actually be a little early which is new and when you walk in you're greeted by the sight of some teammates.
Immediately, you see Guro sprint at you and you open your arms for a hug. You've practically been best friends ever since she joined Chelsea, the team even jokes that you're stuck at the hip- which might be true since you spend every second of training with each other and a large chunk of free time too. 
"Ready to beat Arsenal again?" She asks when you wrap an arm around her shoulders.
You chuckle, "Of course, gotta keep winning, don't we?"
"Plus, I'm thinking of making Leah sleep in Chelsea bed sheets if we win."
You hear a wave of laughter behind you and turn to see Lucy and Millie,
"She's going to kill you if you do that."
You nod at Lucy's comment because it's probably true. The last time you mentioned those sheets, Leah had threatened to throw them out all together.
"She'll get over it," You wave them off.
Then Millie speaks, getting all captain mode on you, "Just be focused, 'kay?"
You nod because even through all the joking and laughter you knew just how important this game actually is- you had to win, not only to keep your unbeaten record but also so you could have bragging rights for the week.
The dressing room is nice and lively ahead of the game, everyone is buzzing to be playing at the Bridge, you included. So you come out on the pitch for warm ups absolutely pumped, giving your all in the shooting and build up drills that the management has set up pre-match.
Then make sure to properly stretch since you're not trying to risk an injury, not when you have such an important season ahead, with the possibility of Champions League glory being very much real.
It's soon after the walkouts happen, you grin in the team picture- arm wrapped around a teammate as usual- then shake hands before the match.
When you get to Leah, who is about half way down the line, you smirk, "Too bad for you that I'm not benched."
She scoffs but doesn't respond and you take that as her being focused- match ready. 
The game is intense, as it always is when two top teams meet each other in a clash- especially in the London derby.
The first half is a struggle, tackles are aggressive and physical, the ball possession is practically divided and you're being marked very tightly by the Arsenal defense.
As you'd learned when you met Steph Catley on the left hand side- you try to fake her but she responds with relentless chasing and tugging and you take the opportunity to win a corner since there is no other way out of this one.
The corner is given and you go take your place in the box, it just so happens that Leah is right in front of you- clearly trying to mark you since you're of similar heights.
The corner is taken, ball flies in to the back post and all you can see is a mess of blue and red- then the ball somehow ends up at your feet and you just blindly boot it in the direction of the goal then hear the clear cheer of the fans and realize it has somehow ended up in the back of the net.
It's all really a blur but you run to one of the corners and wave your hands in the air wildly, the crowd cheers along with your odd celebration before it's time to get back in position.
You happen to catch a glimpse of Leah and shoot her a happy smile that she rolls her eyes at. You know she's just as proud of your goal as she is upset that you're one up to nil.
The rest of the game is a stalemate- neither teams really make any deciding plays and yellow cards are given out like sweets for fouls. By the end of it, you're exhausted, the Arsenal defense had been harassing you all game just like Leah said they would. You're so tightly marked that you can barely get a touch on the ball without someone being on your back.
Eventually the game ends in a 1-0 win for you and you're internally grateful for that lucky goal you scored in the first half. You participate in the team talk before walking over to some of the Arsenal girls, you greet them with a polite wave and hug Leah from behind- wrapping your arms around her waist- and she knows it’s you straight away.
“So…” You start but Leah cuts you off.
“Yes, yes, I know you won, babe.” 
You chuckle, “Not what I was going to say but thank you,” 
“You had a great game, baby,” You continue. 
Leah turns in your arms and wraps her arms around your neck for a hug that you immediately lean into- squeezing her tightly. Then pull away to peck her cheek with a grin.
“Can I have your shirt?” 
She laughs and gives your arm a light shove, “I have plenty at home that you can wear.” 
You frown, “Not what I was going for but okay.” 
She scoffs and you wiggle your brows with a smirk on your face.
“We are in public!” 
The day ends with you and Leah cuddling on the sofa, watching reruns of love island since there is nothing else on TV that is worthwhile. You lean into her touch, soaking in the warmth from her arms hungrily and she squeezes you tightly as you lay directly on top of her. 
You close your eyes, feeling the fatigue from the difficult game hit you like a truck- making you absolutely exhausted. 
“You should tell Steph to lay off me next time we play against you,” You mumble out and Leah laughs, making her chest raise up and down.
“That’s the whole point, darling.” 
You groan, “You guys need to relax.” 
You hear Leah’s light giggle then feel a hand run down your back comfortingly and you let out a long sigh, the tiredness catching up to you fast. 
“I love you, darling,” You hear Leah mutter into your hair when she kisses the top of your head and you smile to yourself. 
“Love you more.” 
It’s after a short nap on the sofa that you mention the Chelsea bed sheets and promptly get shut down but thankfully you can stop Leah from throwing them out completely. Instead they are now hidden in the deepest part of the linen closet. 
You stop caring about the win when you and Leah slip into bed and she holds you as you drift off- there is simply no other place you’d rather be.
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enwoso · 1 year ago
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welcome to the world | alessia russo
-> three moments during pregnancy, and one which means the most.
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one
you and alessia had been best friends since the two of you met all the way back on the first day of primary school when you were both were just four years old. alessia was older by two months and was something she loved to use to her advantage.
"y/n i'm older so i know what's best!"
"less! you use that same excuse every time!"
the two of you being polar opposites in school, alessia being the more confident one, who loved football with her entire heart while you were definitely the more introverted one who swore you were allergic to any form of athletic activity. you instead loved having a book in your hands, escaping to another world within the story from the book.
but that's what made you too the bestest of friends and that was something neither of you would change, ever.
you had gone through school together, knowing every aspect of alessia's life and in turn she knew every aspect of your life. and the older you got the more your family's began to become more and more closer.
like when you two were little, you would sit and pick the daisies from the grass on the field making a daisy chain to give to alessia while she would run around the field with a ball at her feet a big toothy grin on her face as she did so.
as alessia got older she made sure you were at every one of her football matches and you proudly did, alessia always making sure to make the point that she played a lot better when you were standing there watching her, even if you didn't have clue what was happening.
you had to there, you were her lucky charm.
so to your families it wasn't the least bit surprising when you both began to start dating when you were 17, however you held off telling them until just a few months before alessia moved to go to university in america.
there reactions being very far from what you both imagined it being a simple — “we knew all along" with a smile and a shrug of the shoulders leaving you and alessia more confused then what your parents were.
now the both of you were 24, having been together now for seven years. alessia had came back to england having made her break through into the lionesses senior squad and was now playing for arsenal after just having the summer of her life, even if england were unable to win the world cup, you know that just making a final was a huge achievement alone.
you on the other hand had graduated from university having gotten your dream job and you couldn't be anymore prouder of your girlfriend — life with her by your side was amazing and was just about to get a whole lot better.
you were finally pregnant.
after a few failed rounds of ivf, you and less decided this would be your last try before you stopped trying for a while in order to give your body a rest however you were now stood in your bathroom shaky hands holding a positive test a huge grin taking over your face.
you had been feeling horrible for the past few days, thinking you had just gotten a tummy ache but now it all made sense there was going to be a little human growing inside of you.
alessia being at the arsenal training ground as it was the beginning of the wsl season in just a few days time, this gave you a few hours to set up a little something in a way to surprise her.
alessia was due to be home in the next ten minutes so buzzing with excitement you found a sticky note and wrote 'hello mama!' on the note and placed it next to the pregnancy test
stepping back and looking down at your stomach and admiring it, it beginning to settle in that you were about to have a baby with the girl of your dreams. thoughts of alessia with a baby over run your mind but you were soon took out of that track of through by the sound of the front door shutting.
"baby i'm home!" she called out hearing her drop her keys on the side table and her bag hitting the floor as you came over to the door a giggle slipping from you as you watched her tussle with her trainers to try and get them off.
"hi love" you smiled as she engulfed you in a hug, "how was training?" you asked as the blonde moved her head into your neck, inhaling your perfume. "good but i missed you" she mumbled into your neck as you kissed her forehead.
you hummed, "i've missed you too but i've actually got something to show you" alessia's head rising from your neck, confusion knitting over her face. "show me?" she repeated hesitantly.
you nodded, "close your eyes" alessia looking at you apprehensively, "should i be scared?" the blonde asked, a nervous smile on her face. "no! no i actually think you'll really like it — just close your eyes and trust me!" you said as the blonde finally shut her eyes, you grabbing her hands and leading her to the kitchen.
"okay.. open them!" you say standing to the side as the room is filled with silence, you waiting for alessia who is looking at the little display as you waited for her to piece everything together.
"no way- really!" alessia gasped turning to you a wide smile not so dissimilar to the one you had on your face a few hours ago. you nodded as a squeal came from the blonde as she wrapped her arms around you, twirling you around attacking you with kisses.
placing you back on the ground, her hands staying on your waist as they travelled to your stomach. making sure she's gentle both hands rest on your stomach where your little human will live for the next nine months.
"this is the best thing that has ever happened to me!" alessia mumbled before placing her lips on yours, a slow and loving kiss taking place as your hands came to cup on her cheeks as alessia's hands stayed put on your tummy.
"i love you!"
"i love you too lessi."
two
it was a rainy sunday afternoon and alessia had just gotten home from playing at meadow park, a solid win and even bagging a goal, it was all a good feeling but nothing beat being tucked up next to you as you watched tv.
you lying with alessia on the couch, her head resting on your shoulder as your legs draped over the blondes, tangling themselves within hers as she played with the rings on your fingers.
“where you going?” the blonde asked a pout on her face as you made a sudden movement to get up, looking back at the blonde with a smile, “just to get a drink?”
before you had a chance to even move any further off the couch, alessia had sprung to her feet. “i’ll get it” the blonde sweetly said, pecking your lips quickly before rushing into the kitchen, not before stopping and yelling asking what it was you actually wanted.
“just a water love!” you yelled back, hearing her open the fridge as you smiled to yourself. ever since you found out you were pregnant alessia had been amazing.
helping you whenever your morning sickness struck, giving you your weird cravings whenever you wanted, being patient with you whenever you weren’t in the best of mood because you were tired or just weren’t have the best of days, you could already tell that she was going to be an amazing mother and the little human inside you was only about the size of a peach.
"oh my god!" you gasped as alessia almost ran back in the living room.
"what's wrong?" she frantically asked confusion hitting her as she wondered why there was a big cheesy grin on your face.
"little one just kicked!" you said watching intensely at you bump to see if it would happen again. "is it not a little early for kicking?" alessia asked as you shook your head. you were just hitting the fourth and a half month mark.
you midwife had told you to keep an eye out for any movement as it would begin to happen but it would all depend on the little one growing inside as some baby's were very active inside the womb whilst other weren't.
"no, she said it would be around about now" you explained as alessia nodded, you hands going over your bump trying to feel for any movement.
"pass your hands" you told alessia as she placed your water bottle down on the coffee table at the side of the couch before handing you her hands.
you moved you top up a little more to reveal your bump which was huge but was definitely getting bigger by the day. moving your girlfriends hands around you bump hoping for her to feel your little one's movement.
"can you feel there little kicks!" you looked towards alessia, a little “wow” escaping her as she felt the little kicks as she sat in awe.
"powerful little kicks" you whispered still loud enough for the blonde to hear you as she hummed in argreement her hands still holding your bump.
"gonna be a footballer just like there mama" alessia said smugly as you shook your head in amusement. looking at the blonde, leaning forwards to plant a kiss to her cheek, as she moved the kiss landing on her lips.
three
you were back at wembley for the first time since you had found out you were pregnant, the england girls were set to face the netherlands in the uefa nations league match in hopes of securing qualification for the the olympics next year.
you were nearing six months into your pregnancy, your body was changing massively and you had your 21 week scan telling you the gender of your baby a few weeks ago and with each ultrasound you were falling more and more in love with your little one and you couldn't wait to meet them.
watching as alessia would sit in the room with you, eyes in awh of the tiny human growing in your belly. listening intensively as the heartbeat would fill the small room in the hospital.
however as the weeks were passing, alessia was growing more and more protective of you. not allowing you to pick up anything heavier than an empty bottle or allowing you to stand in your feet for too long meaning she had been taking on the roll of cooking for the past few weeks but secretly you didn't mind that as you loved her cooking.
you were meeting with alessia's mum, dad and brothers at the match, alessia having left earlier this morning to do her usual pre match routine however every half an hour there was another message asking if you were okay - the blonde had been a little wary about you coming to the match but you had assured her that you would be perfectly fine.
walking in the entrance to wembley it was quiet for now fans still not allowed to enter for another thirty minutes. seeing alessia's family in the reception area all with england jerseys on, russo and the number 23 plastered on the back. yourself with the blue england away shirt on with your girlfriends name proudly on your back.
"hi honey, how are you, and the little one?" carol asked, engulfing you in a hug, she had been amazing to you since you had found out along with your own mum - the both of them giving you plenty of advice and tips on how to deal with pregnancy symptoms.
"i'm feeling good today, happy to be out the house!" you beamed it being to longest you had been out without the urgency of needing to go home.
"and little one is very happy and healthy in there" you smiled, "this is from the scan a few weeks ago- look!" you said getting the latest scan photos up on your phone.
"going to be such a beautiful baby" carol pouted, nudging her husband and alessia's two brothers to come and look at the scan photos.
"can't wait for me to pass on all my football secrets!" gio said as you shook your head at the younger russo's childishness. "i think less will beat you to that" you chuckled as giorgio shook his head rolling his eyes at your comment.
"and who do you think she learned them off, hmm?" gio said with a smug grin as it was your turn to roll your eyes, "your dad?" you teased as he scoffed beginning to walk away in a pretend huff.
"giorgio!"
you had all made your way to the family box, gio coming out of his little huff but not before alessia had made it her mission to find you before she began her warm ups.
"are you sure your okay? you haven't got any p-" alessia began before you cut her off. "lessi, i promise you i'm fine plus your mum and dad are here so i'm not alone okay" you said placing your hands on her shoulders squeezing them a few times as the blonde nodded a few times letting out a big sigh her body relaxing a little.
"now you go out there and play the game that you love!" you smiled as she sighed loosening herself up before placing a sweet kiss on your lips.
"i love you" she whispered as you lips lingered and you hummed repeating the three word back to the blonde before pushing her in the direction of the rest of her teammates.
"come on less, she's not made of glass, she's isn't gonna break in the next ninety minutes!" hearing a thick manchester accent of non other than ella. turning your head to wave at the girl before turning to your girlfriend who had a light scowl on her face in the direction of her bestfriend.
"go on!" you nodded your head in the direction of her other teammates, as the blonde began to walk away not before kissing your goodbye on the cheek. watching as she walked off towards her friends not missing the fact she tripped on the carpeted floor, shaking your head in amusement.
"typical"
it had been a tight game between the dutch, the current score being 2-2, lauren just equalising for england. it was all to play for and england desperately needed the three points in order to put them in a good place for qualification.
alessia had been substituted in the 68' minute having been brought offf from fran kirby.
england managed to pull the win with ella scoring in stoppage time meaning england secured the three points putting them in with a chance of qualifying for the next round of the nations league.
the girls walking around, stopping and signing shirts, books, you name it while also taking photos with the fans. walking around wembley waving and thanking the fans who took the time to come and watch them play.
alessia finally gets to where the box is, looking up trying to find you and soon enough she does giving you a wave as you blow her a kiss back. as she caught it holding it close to her chest.
you were now waiting in reception for your blonde lover to emerge from the changing room, a few of the england girls coming out, waiting in the reception area to board the bus.
mary, beth and lucy being the first of girls to come out all showered, wet hair in low buns and wash bags hid under their arms with big grins all over there faces, there being a hint of surprise in their faces when they find a sight of you.
"hey y/n! how's you and the little one?" beth asked as you sat scrolling through your phone. a smile appearing on your face, sliding you phone into your pocket.
"yeah i'm good, tired and little one kicking my ribs like no tomorrow!" you sighed leaning back in the chair that you were sat on, as the three girls joined you.
"less been teaching them football tricks already?" lucy joked as you all began to laugh before getting into the conversation of how long the blonde was going to take to get ready - knowing she loved her skin and hair routines too much as you found yourself spending a lot of your time waiting for her to get ready on a mornings.
"do you know the gender yet?" mary asks as the topic changed again, "i think it'll be a girl!" the manchester girl appeared beside you as you rolled your eyes nudging her slightly as she sat down next to you.
"and then you can call it ella!" she cheekily smiled as you shook your head along with a few weird looks from the other girls.
“you can take that up with less, yeah!” you say softly, patting ella on the back as you give her a look that tells the midfielder that the answer is a definite no.
"what! just saying ella is a great name" she was the one to now roll her eyes as you chuckled shaking your head, "we did find out the gender-" you began smiling as the debate began of what you and alessia were having.
"so what's the gender then?" lucy asked the debate stopping as they had ran out of points to back up why one thought it was a girl and why one thought it was a boy.
"you'll find out in good time!" you smiled as the four began to all talk at once crowding you but luckily your saviour came to your rescue who was in the form of a tall blonde wearing a tracksuit and a massive wash bag hanging tiredly under her arm.
her blonde hair which was still wet, racked back into a low bun at the back of her head. her tired movements getting closer to you, "woah, don't crowd the pregnant lady!" she yelled walking closer to you, standing behind you as she shooed the girls away. resting her hands on your shoulders as you looked up at her with a smile, as she leaned down to place a quick kiss on your lips.
"well we wouldn't have to if she would just tell us if your having a girl or boy!" beth complained as the other three joined in with their complaints.
"we might as well tell them all together" alessia said as she began to gather the rest of the girls around in a huddle, you and less being in the center,
"what's this about russo?" georgia asked as a few others asked the same.
"well we had planned to tell you all in a different way but some are clearly too impatient. but we did find out the gender of our baby the other day and we are having a little... girl!" alessia explained leaving a few pauses just for dramatic effect as the rest of the girls cheered at the gender.
"told you mary! you owe me tenner now!"
four
you were now officially nine months pregnant and if you were being honest you were over it, you wanted nothing more than for the little one to be born for many reasons, one being so you could finally meet your little baby and two so you could get back to doing things without feeling tired after two minutes or needing to go and pee every ten minutes.
alessia with a lot of convincing had gone to training after ensuring that you were going to be okay for a few hours by your self expect you were not going to be by yourself as she had sent her mum to keep you company for the duration she was away.
not that you minded as it meant it kept your mind of the contractions you were having every few hours that had been progressively closer together since yesterday.
you knew it was going to be any time now, your hospital bag sat at the bottom of the stairs which alessia had made sure to pack and then unpack it to then repack it to make sure you had everything you and the new baby would need.
you were currently stood at the kitchen counter folding some clothes of your own while carol insisted on making you lunch, "lessi said that the.. oh" you stopped feeling another contraction wave over you this being a much more intense one that the previous ones you had been having in the past few hours.
"honey, are you okay? do you want me to call alessia?" carol asked as you hummed, leaning over on the kitchen counter trying to steady your breathing.
"okay, just keep breathing, in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth” carol soothed as she picked up her phone from the kitchen counter and pressing on the blondes contact who answered before the call even have a chance to get to the third ring.
"mum? what's wrong? is y/n-" alessia blurted out in a panic before the older women even had a chance to say hello.
"alessia! y/n is fine, but her contractions are getting slowly worse and she's going to want you here to comfort her" carol explained as a sigh of relief was heard from the other line.
"tell her i'm leaving now i'll be twenty minutes max!" alessia said in a hurry as it could be heard of her rushing around, many sounds of doors opening and closing.
"alessia, please don't panic. she's okay and if anything changes i'll call you as soon as i can" carol calmly said as the blonde on the other line hummed along rustling still heard.
"okay mum, i won't be long!" alessia quickly said before saying bye and ending the call. carol puts her phone down, you still in the same position controlling your breathing.
"she's on her way. do you have a yoga ball?" carol asked as you gave her a look wondering why on earth she would need one of them right now - pain fogging your brain for a moment.
"it's for you to bounce on, it'll help you stay upright and active" carol explained further as a knowing look came across your face - it slowly coming back to you remembering the midwife telling you about a range of exercises to do on it but admittedly you were a lot more focused on the sound of your baby's heart beat than the midwife's words.
"oh.. um i think there's one in spare room upstairs, less put it in there somewhere" you paused every few words your voice shaky as with each contraction you tried to steady your breathing - in through your nose and breathe out you were repeating to yourself.
carol telling you she would go and get it for you but not before asking you a few times if you would be okay left alone for a few minutes, you nodding and the older omens coming back a few minutes later with a bright green yoga ball.
helping you into the living room, as you lent forwards thinking it would help with the pain but really it did nothing. carol placed the bright green ball in the middle of the room and helping you find a rhythm to follow as you bounced up and down on the green ball.
it admittedly helping to reduce the intensity of the pain from the contractions as you were able to fall back into conversation with the older women but just as you did your blonde lover burst through the door with a sudden urgency.
"y/n, oh thank goodness your okay!" the blonde said out of breathe as she held her hand on her chest, as she stood in the doorway of the living room. a small laugh leaving your lips as you shared a look with her mum.
"have you ran back from coloney or something? why are you so out of breathe?" you asked a small chuckle coming from her mum but nothing from alessia as she wasn't impressed with your joke.
"sorry for being concerned for my pregnant girlfriend, but i did run to tell jonas where i was going before running to my car!" the blonde rolled her eyes before going into the kitchen to get a drink.
"sometimes you would think it was her with the pregnancy hormones" you joked to carol who laughed slightly along with you.
"i can hear you, you know!" alessia yelled from the kitchen as you laughed a little more with the older women.
an hour had passed and gradually your contractions were getting worse, carol had gone back home and told alessia to call her when you were in labour and she would be straight there with you both.
you were getting yourself a bottle of water from the fridge when you felt a popping sensation, a groan coming from you as you lent on the counter as another contraction came along.
"baby?" alessia called out from the living room, "love are you okay?" she asked again after not getting an answer, you hummed letting the last of your contraction hit.
shaking your head as another hit soon after, "n-no- i think my waters just broke" you whispered feeling slightly embarrassed as the feeling of warm liquid rushed down your legs
"breathe, love. let's get you changed and then we'll head to the hospital" alessia said softly taking your hand and leading you to get a change of clothes.
within half an hour you were changed, hospital bag in hand and being lead down the corridor to the maternity ward by a nurse.
"your midwife will be here in a few minutes to do some checks" the nurse smiled as she lead you both to a private room. you nodded your head your contractions were still very much present and very often. "thank you" alessia spoke for you as she helped you over to the bed.
like the nurse said the midwife came through the door, a few trolleys of medical equipment following her through the door as she began doing your checks and telling you how far you were dilated - 5cm.
“we can give you your epidural now, and then in about an hour or so you’ll probably be ready to start pushing” the midwife explained as both you and alessia nodded along.
“i’ll have the epidural” you said immediately after the midwife had stopped talking, the women nodding and letting you know she would be back in a couple of seconds
"i can't believe that we are going to meet our little girl soon!" alessia whispered kissing the top of you head as you got comfy in hospital bed, a smile creeping on your face it not lasting long as another contraction hit you as your face scrunched up with the sudden pain.
_
"that's it y/n, one more push and the head will be out" the midwife encouraged as you face was pooled with sweat and tears, alessia holding your hand as you squeezed the living day lights out of it.
"you doing so good love!" alessia encouraged, kissing your head as you groaned again, the midwife urging you to push again.
a few more pushes and baby's head had officially been delivered, only a few more were needed to get the rest of the baby out.
"keep pushing, baby's nearly here!" the midwife told you as you hear alessia urging you on with words of encouragement stroking your hair out of your face and within seconds of your last push, you hear a baby cry.
your swear your heart stopped for a second, looking up to alessia who was grinning from ear to ear. "you did it!" she whispered into the side of your face as tears fell down your face and your baby was passed to you on your chest.
"congratulations, you've given birth to a beautiful baby girl!" the midwife smiled as you handed you your baby, as you pushed the towel from covering your little girls face. her little cries stopping as soon as she heard yours and alessia's voices.
"she beautiful" alessia said, stroking the side of her small face, you silently nodding as you both sat admiring your little girl. excitement coursing through you as after a long, tiring nine months your little girl was here.
"welcome to the real world, little one"
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liked by giorgiorusso_ and 1,042,106 others
alessia 23/05/24 ☁️
when two became three. me and mummy love you so much our little love🤍
comments -
leahwilliamson my heart🥹 congratulations i can’t wait to meet the little one🤍
31m 129 likes     reply
giorgiorusso_ next in line for me to pass on my football knowledge to!
1h 230 likes     reply
-> alessia in your dreams gio.
yourusername omg your milf era is beginning!
1h 360 likes     reply
-> alessia your my favourite milf<3 forever proud of you
ellatoone oh gosh they grow up so fast🥹
1h 207 likes     reply
-> yourusername your literally younger than us tooney?
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logos0 · 7 months ago
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From Ice to Fire
Leah Williamson x Reader Enemies to Lovers | Happy Ending
The wheels of the plane touched down at Heathrow, and the hum of the engines died as you peered out the window at the grey skies over London. It was a far cry from the snow-dusted landscapes of Scandinavia that you called home. But here you were, ready to embark on the next chapter of your footballing career. Arsenal FC had been a dream for years, and now you were one of their newest signings.
As you stepped out of the taxi at the training grounds, nerves prickled at your skin. You had achieved so much to get here, yet a voice at the back of your mind whispered that the hardest part was still to come. Meeting the team, proving your worth, adapting to the intensity of English football—all of it loomed large.
The team welcomes you warmly on your first day at Meadow Park. The first person to greet you was Beth Mead, her grin wide and her energy infectious. "Ah, the new signing! Heard you’ve got a killer left foot. Let’s hope it’s true." Vivianne Miedema followed with a calm nod, and Kim Little, the captain, offers a handshake that carries a quiet authority. But then there’s Leah Williamson.
The Lionesses’ captain greets you with a polite, almost perfunctory nod. Her reputation precedes her: confident, charismatic, a born leader. But something about her intensity feels off. The Lionesses’ captain carried herself with a quiet intensity. Her eyes assessed you from head to toe, and her polite nod felt more like a formality than genuine welcome.
For the rest of the day, her presence loomed. During the first drills, she was the one who barked out directions, corrected positioning, and, more than once, seemed to single you out for criticism.
"You need to stay tighter to your mark," she said sharply after a defensive drill.
You clenched your jaw. "Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you’d tracked your runner."
Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment, the air between you crackled with tension.
It was going to be a long season.
Your integration into the squad is smooth… except when it comes to Leah. The rivalry between you two grew over the weeks. On the surface, everything seemed fine. You worked well enough together during games and even exchanged the occasional word of praise when necessary. But in training, it was a different story. She seemed to find faults in everything you do. A misplaced pass? She’s the first to point it out. A moment’s hesitation on the field? She’s already barking instructions.
"That’s not how we press here," Leah said during one particularly gruelling session, her tone clipped. "Maybe in Scandinavia, you can take your time," she snaps after one particularly tense drill, "but here, we move fast."
You wiped sweat from your brow, shooting her a glare. "I’ve been playing football since I could walk. I think I know how to press."
"Not in the WSL, you don’t," she snapped back. You glare at her, chest heaving from exertion. "Maybe if you passed the ball sooner, I wouldn’t have to clean up your mistakes."
The tension between you was palpable, and the team could feel it. Beth smirked knowingly, muttering, "Oh, this is gonna be fun to watch."
During the next weeks, your Scandinavian coolness continued to clash with her fiery intensity at every turn. The team, much to your dismay, seemed to find your friction entertaining. Beth Mead started taking bets on when the two of you would finally explode, and even the usually reserved Vivianne Miedema would smirk when you and Leah squared off during drills.
It wasn’t that you disliked her—at least, that’s what you told yourself. But her constant nitpicking, her relentless need to push, got under your skin like no one ever had before.
And yet, you couldn’t help but notice her. The way she commanded the field with such confidence, the way she celebrated every goal like it was her first, the way her laugh—rare as it was—lit up the room during team dinners.
But noticing wasn’t the same as liking.
One evening after training, you stayed late to practice free kicks. The floodlights cast long shadows across the empty pitch as you lined up ball after ball, aiming for the top corner.
"You don’t rest much, do you?"
The voice startled you, and you turned to see Leah leaning against the goalpost, arms crossed.
"And you don’t know when to leave people alone," you shot back, though your tone lacked its usual bite.
To your surprise, she didn’t respond with a snarky remark. Instead, she grabbed a ball and joined you. The two of you fell into a rhythm, each taking turns at the goal. There was an unspoken competition in the air, but it felt different this time—less antagonistic, more playful.
When you finally stopped, both of you breathless, Leah gave you a small, genuine smile. "You’re not bad," she said.
"Coming from you, that almost sounds like a compliment," you replied, earning a quiet laugh.
For the first time, the tension between you seemed to ease.
The match against Chelsea was a turning point. Arsenal was down 1-0, and the clock was running out. You intercepted a pass from Sam Kerr and drove forward, weaving through defenders before threading the ball to Leah, who was perfectly positioned. She scored with a thunderous strike, and the stadium erupted.
Before you knew it, Leah was running toward you, a wide grin on her face. She wrapped her arms around you, her excitement contagious. "That was all you," she said breathlessly, her forehead briefly touching yours.
For the first time, her words felt entirely sincere, and something shifted between you.
After the Chelsea game, the team celebrated with a night out. You found yourself seated next to Leah, and to your surprise, the conversation flowed easily. She asked about your life in Scandinavia, and you told her about the snowy winters, the northern lights, and the small village where you first fell in love with football.
"You’re full of surprises," she said softly, her eyes searching yours.
"So are you," you replied, feeling a warmth you hadn’t expected.
A few weeks later, after a late-night training session, you and Leah ended up alone on the balcony of the team’s hotel. The city lights glittered below as silence stretched between you.
"I was wrong about you," Leah said finally, her voice quiet.
You turned to her, surprised. "What do you mean?"
"I thought you were just another hotshot here to make a name for yourself. But you’re more than that. You care about the team. You push me to be better." She hesitated, her usual confidence faltering. "And I… I think I like you."
Your breath caught, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop.
"I like you too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
She leaned closer, her hand brushing yours. When she kissed you, it was soft and tentative, as though testing the waters. But when you kissed her back, it was with all the passion and fire that had burned between you from the start.
The shift from enemies to lovers wasn’t seamless. You still bickered during training, but now it was laced with humour rather than hostility. The team noticed the change immediately.
"You two are ridiculous," Beth teased one day. "Just get a room already."
Leah rolled her eyes, but her hand found yours under the table.
On the field, your partnership flourished. Leah’s leadership and your creativity drove the team to new heights, and Arsenal climbed to the top of the league. Off the field, your bond deepened through late-night conversations, stolen moments, and an unspoken understanding that you had found something rare.
The season ended with Arsenal lifting the trophy. As confetti rained down, Leah pulled you into her arms, her smile brighter than ever.
"We make a good team," she said, her forehead resting against yours.
"We always did," you replied with a grin.
In that moment, surrounded by your teammates and the deafening cheers of the crowd, you knew this was just the beginning—for Arsenal, for your career, and for you and Leah.
From enemies to lovers, from ice to fire—you had found your home.
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mysunshinetemptress · 1 year ago
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You see me
Leah Williamson x McCabe!Reader
Warnings: angst, feeling invisible, Leah’s ACL. Also I decided to split it into two parts this is a little background in part one part two is more your relationship development and then the downfall.
Leah wasn’t a mean person, she had never been mean to anyone in her life, until she met you the Arsenal signing who hadn’t had the opportunity to play for them in her first few seasons sent out on loan instead, Katie’s little sister, she was so mean to you though all because of a stupid bet your sister had made. Leah was doing the meanest thing she could possibly think of to you, you the quite and shy defender who only seemed to speak on the pitch, you who shied away from every fight on the pitch brought your way, you who was currently standing in front of her with tear stained cheeks as your eyes pricked with more fresh tears threatening to spill over, you who’s hands shook as you held on desperately to her present your signed Thierry Henry Arsenal jersey you had gotten as a kid. You whose eyes broke from their stare to look at Katie as she laugh “i mean come on pal hardly you actually thought that.” You who as Katie began laughing again surrounded by the Arsenal girls shoved the framed jersey into her hand quietly saying happy birthday as you turned to race out of the room. Leah was mean so mean to you a girl who didn’t deserve any of this. Amanda came pushing through the Arsenal girls before reaching her daughter “where is she off to then we are about to do the cake.” Leah turned to look at her mum cheeks blotchy and tears in her eyes “mum….i.”
6 MONTHS EARLIER
You grew up one of the youngest of 11 kids, the younger sister of international footballer Katie McCabe and so the title of “Mini Mac.” Had been bestowed upon you when you first signed for Shelbourne FC. Only you where the complete opposite to your older sister quite, reserved and always ready to shy away from a fight on or off the pitch you could easily get lost in a crowd and often times that was the case. You knew growing up in a house with so many kids whether everyone was there or not you had to be loud to be seen but after so many years of trying as a little kid you got used to being quite and invisible and unsurprisingly that transferred into your football career and adult life.
You had made your senior debut for Ireland at 16 just three weeks before your 17th birthday and shortly after your older sister’s team Arsenal had come knocking looking to sign you in the summer transfer window. How could you pass on the opportunity to play for your childhood club, a top team in the WSL and better yet along side your ideal, your older sister.
But your career seemed to get stuck at Arsenal, getting loaned out after your first season of sitting on the bench wasn’t ideal and when you finally thought you would get to step out on to the pitch for your dream team you got loaned out again this time to Manchester United.
Manchester wasn’t always the best Marc Skinner ran a tight ship that often led to you feeling worse than before hiding away from his constant grief about the team not being good enough in your cubby became a norm, but at least you got to play a couple of games right ?. what you hadn’t expected was to be called back to your parent club. With news of Leah’s ACL tear hitting the media a few days later and her inevitable exit from the team so she can focus on recovery you some how still hadn’t expected to get a phone call from Jonas Eidevall informing you that Arsenal had requested your return to take Leah’s spot on the back line plus this time would be different you would get to play along side Katie for both club and country you would have someone who wouldn’t mind sitting with you just talking about random things.
Boy where you wrong, arriving at London Colony you where greeted with the medical staff who wanted to do a check before they let you in to train with the girls agreeing quickly as to get it over and done with you couldn’t help but tap your foot excitedly the thought of pairing up with your older sister in training and just laughing like you used to. Arriving into the changing room you turned looking for your sisters cubby spotting the shamrocks decor you smiled at the little sense of home no matter how cliche it was before setting your things into empty space beside her looking in at the photos that dawned the inside smiling at the family photo of all 11 of you before it waved as you spotted your face half cropped out of it only you knew it was you otherwise you wouldn’t have a clue who it was. You jumped slightly at the loud noise smiling at the familiar accent Turing to spot your older sister “Y/n.” You looked at all the other Arsenal girls smiling “hi.” Katie walked towards you eyebrows pinched together in confusion “wha ya doin here.” You looked at her confused this time “ I got called off loan I’m covering the centre back position.” The team looked at you confused “we don’t need another Centre Back Y/n we have Rafa, Lotte, Jen and Teyah.” You looked at Katie a little hurt at she brushed your position off of course you knew that Arsenal didn’t have a shortage of players that’s why you where sent on loan in the first place but now you where here to play for their senior squad for the first time at the age of 22 along side Katie and you couldn’t help but feel like she didn’t want you there “I know, but Jonas called me and he said that I would be taking over for Leah for the time being.” You were cut off by Jen “he said that to me and Lotte as well mate.” You felt delusional now of course you wouldn’t be the first choice not against Jens experience and Lottes longevity at Arsenal from being an academy player you where just Katie’s little sister the name on your back the reason you had gotten so far that’s what you had been told since your older brother Gary had you out playing in the road “oh yeah I’m probably just here to back up you guys then or maybe Steph I can play on the left.” Jen nodded moving to her cubby as the rest of the team dispersed “I’m really excited.” Katie looked at you eyebrows forward “why.” You smiled “I get to play along side you here, you know my dream club with my big sister I was actually wondering if you might want to….” Victoria made her way over jumping on to Katie’s back “partners for training.” You looked at the way Katie’s face lit up for the younger girl “who else would I be partners with.” Katie turned and began talking with the younger girl as you felt your heart sink you wanted to partner with Katie but just like at home when she would rather play with Lauryn or international duty and you could never drag her away from Rue or Louise.
You sighed walking back into the changing room taking off your boots before heading to the gym where you watched the girls separate into their groups as you headed over to the balance ball looking to start like you normally did at United. You couldn’t help look around at all the little cliques within the team and wonder if you would ever fit in, shaking your head you decided to try and stick with Katie you could at least count on her she was a built in buddy for crying out loud.
This happened for the first couple of weeks back at the Arsenal you following Katie and her friends around as you tried to fit into conversations or into training exercises but they never seemed to notice you often getting cut off or left to run a drill solo, match days were one of the worst getting dressed into your Arsenal shirt adrenaline kicking in as you hoped today would be the day you started or even got to come off the bench only to be met with a full 90 minutes of siting alone on the end of the bench freezing legs bouncing up and down.
Team nights weren’t any better often sitting alone just watching your teammates laugh trying to get in on the jokes and have a laugh but ultimately getting talked over again. You would often find yourself slipping out before food arrived.
Leah had been watching you over the past few weeks heartbreaking at the sight of your depleted emotions as you were either denied a conversation or training partner or the opportunity to represent Arsenal. Walking into the changing room Leah looked around smiling at you softly as you looked up catching her eyes as you tied your boots getting ready to head out for training “hey, we are having a team session at mine this weekend I was wondering what you eat from the Chinese to have it all ready.” You looked quite shocked at the older girl not once had someone approached you, you always had to put in the effort and asking what you wanted to eat at hers was even more shocking you knew you wouldn’t even last that long but the look on Leah’s face told you she wasn’t taking no for an answer “eh just some version of spicy noodles please.” Leah nodded smiling “cool it starts at 7 but come over whenever yeah.” You nodded smiling “thank you.” Leah squeezed your arm heading to the physio as you head out to train.
Arriving at Leah’s you texted Katie who you knew had already arrived telling her you were outside and asking her to get the door as the anxiety built at the thought of ringing the doorbell but after 20 minutes you decided you where just going to have to push it aside and knock. Instantly the door opened as Leah smiled at you happily “hey you made it.” You smiled sheepishly at her “yeah sorry I…. Is Katie here.” Leah looked at you worriedly as you picked at your hand “yeah over there.” You turned spotting your older sister before walking over “hi.” You felt stupid as no one not even your sister seemed to acknowledge you as you looked around for an empty seat before opting to stand in the doorway to the hall. Hours ticked by as you watched your teammates once again laugh and enjoy each others company as you stood awkwardly away moving whenever someone had to get past, sighing you set your drink on the table before heading to the door before you felt someone grab your hand “where you off to then.” You turned eyes landing on Leah as she smiled at you “me..oh..I…well I was going to head home.” Leah looked at you carefully “how about one drink with me and if you still want to leave after it then you can and I’ll see you on Sunday.” Looking at her quizzically “ok.” You were shocked at how quickly you agreed but followed the older girl as she laced her fingers with yours pulling you into the kitchen “right pretty girl what would you like to drink.” You looked at the drinks spread out in front of you before agreeing to a bottle of Heineken as Leah popped off the top handing it to you “you know for a McCabe you’re awfully quiet.” You smiled halfheartedly “I know, I….its just the way I am I guess” you paused “I tried to be..but when you get left out no matter how hard you try you sort of just I don’t know adapt to it ya know.” Leah smiled at you softly “well I think it’s rather refreshing I mean I know she’s your sister but Jesus Christ Katie’s worse then Tooney and that girls loud.” You let out a laugh as Leah’s eyes lit up she had never heard you laugh before and to make you laugh caused something to stir within her.
You both didn’t seem to notice the time as the girls crowded into the kitchen to say goodnight to their host as you looked at your phone looking back up you realised Leah had been swept away by your teammates as you put the empty bottle you had been nursing for the last four hours and slipped out the front door before heading home.
Team nights continued on like this, the girls sat laughing in each other’s sitting rooms while you and Leah talked about anything and everything in the kitchen laughing amongst yourselves. You couldn’t help but smile at the blonde the fluttering feeling in your stomach worsening the more you both did this at team bonding nights so much so it had spilled over to getting the fluttering feeling every time you saw the older girl.
Playing at Arsenal was improving too, you had been pushing your self harder than ever hoping for Jonas to notice and give you some minutes and finally it payed off.
You guys were set to play United and you couldn’t wait to see some of your old teammates especially Mary who had taken you under her wing when you joined on your loan.
Walking out for warm ups you began lightly running before being pulled into a rondo and then taking shots at Manu. You began to make your way inside when you heard your name being called before looking to the family and friend section seeing Leah smiling you waved sheepishly making your way back to the changing room. Jonas had barged in ten minutes before kick off stating a change to the line up “Y/n you’re starting on the left Steph is out she has a problem with her hamstring.” You looked at the older man surprised as you nodded standing to make your way to the tunnel.
After a tough match that ended in a draw you turned looking at your teammates breaking into groups as they began making their way to the away stand to thank the travelling fans before you felt someone jump on your back “Maca.” You laughed trying to shove her off “Maza get off me.” Laughing Mary jumped off your back pulling you into a bear hug. You sunk into her embrace as you squeezed her tight “I miss you.” You hummed “I miss you too.” Mary pulled away “you seem happy, definitely happier what’s going on your new team absolutely adore you then.” You smiled halfheartedly as Mary felt her smile drop “hey you can tell me.” You shrugged “I don’t know I just thought this time would be different, getting to play at my favourite club with Katie is a dream I mean it’s all I’ve ever wanted but I just can’t seem to click.” You dropped your head feeling disappointed “oh y/n they’ll come around your amazing, quiet and shy yes but amazing nonetheless.” You looked up “I think I made a friend though Mary.” Mary felt her heart swell at the hope in your eyes “oh yeah who.” You smiled thinking of Leah just as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder greeting Mary who seemed to immediately notice your red cheeks “ready to head to then.” Mary grabbed your arm pulling you towards her “did she not tell you Williamson she’s staying at mine tonight then heading back to London.” Leah looked at you eyebrows raised as she poked her tongue into her cheek trying to not get annoyed at the way Mary’s arm wrapped around your waist and you leaned into the older girl “but it’s Katie’s night for team bonding.” Mary shrugged “we have had this planned for weeks Williamson I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait.” You smiled sheepishly at the blonde “sorry Lee, I’ll see you tomorrow though.” Leah sighed pulling you into a hug “alright but you text me as soon as you hit London.” You smiled nodding “Will do.”
You spent the night talking about Leah to Mary and the older girl couldn’t help but smile you looked so in love just talking about her and so happy that you had made a friend on the Arsenal squad that not once did she try stop you from talking instead smiling and nodding along and asking questions when she thought of them.
Leah spent the night feeling miserable sat on the couch beside Lia and Beth, your kitchen chats had become her favourite part of team nights and with you still in Manchester Leah felt slightly lost, that was until Katie announced a game idea “let’s play truth or dare.” Sighing Leah joined the rest of the girls sat in a circle laughing every now and again as she watched her teammates take turns choosing truth or dare and carrying out each task that was until Katie decided to ask her “right then Williamson truth or dare.” Leah smiled never one to back out “Dare McCabe.” Katie smiled wide “I dare you to ask my sister out and see how long you can string her along for.” Leah felt her smile drop “what.” Lia piped up “Katie that’s a bit far.” Katie shook her head “nah it’s not, it’s just a joke she’ll understand come on I’ll even make it a bet.” Leah looked around at her teammates, before dropping her eyes to the ground. She liked you more than a friend but you had never given any indication that you liked her back, maybe she could use this to see and then if you did you guys would end up dating anyway right. Looking up Leah smiled slightly “how much.”
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