Where a Canvas Blooms by foolishlovers
It’s an Arrangement. Aziraphale knows this. He knows a lot of things, and others he doesn’t, but the most important things, he knows. He knows that the cheeky redhead in his arms smiles and purrs when he runs his fingers through his hair, knows that Crowley’s hands are rough from working outside, knows the softness of his heart.
Aziraphale doesn’t know he’s in love with Crowley until he does. But it’s just an Arrangement. Is it?
Part 1 of The Cuddle Arrangement
word count: 3.8k
rating: T
relevant tags: Human AU, Trans Aziraphale, Trans Crowley, Touch-Starved Aziraphale, Touch-Starved Crowley, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Comfort, Pining
art by the wonderful @omens-for-ophelia
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petition to have crowley and aziraphale kiss under the bandstand as a beautiful mirroring of their first breakup, it is raining around them but they are sheltered and safe, together under a canopy, there's no need to protect the other from the rain because the distance between them has been bridged (at last, at last, heart to heart) reblog if u agree
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APPARENTLY SOMEONE POINTED OUT THAT AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ARE KISSING IN ONE OF THE WINDOWS IN THE TITLE SEQUENCE AND I NOW JUST CANNOT BE NORMAL???
Neil said that THERE ARE clues for s3 in the TS AND THIS IS WHAT WE’VE FOUND??
aa you can see, this is totally DIFFERENT KISS. aziraphale is now THE ONE TUGGING CROWLEY IN, GRIPPING THE HEMS OF HIS JACKET????? WHAT IF IT IS THE GET-TOGETHER KISS WE WILL SEE IN S3? also SOMEONE IS PEEPING IN.
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Rating: Teen and Up
Words: 3,376
Summary:
After 6000 years in the spinning hubbub of earth, Heaven had been overwhelmingly sparse. So bright it stung, so empty it echoed, so utterly quiet the silence howled in your ears and never seemed to stop.
Heaven was like if radio static had teeth, a total body itch you couldn’t scratch, an endless drip drip drip of gentle water slowly driving you mad.
And Aziraphale had spent an entire year there.
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A while ago I saw this post by @chernozemm and @dingledraw about how Aziraphale would feel after being in Heaven as an autistic coded character. It stuck in my brain as a concept and here we are! Complete with art by me (full image is in the fic! Its very soft!)
Thanks to my lovely beta reader @aspiring-pansy for looking this over!
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Good Omens S2’s ending is so agonising, but I do think it’s going to make Aziraphale’s development significantly more impactful in S3! As a second act this has every painful, fascinating ingredient that made Zuko’s arc in ATLA so outstanding, and Aziraphale’s core conflict/fatal flaw draws from the heart of his character!
He loves Crowley deeply but he’s still clinging to Heaven’s brainwashing, and he’s never actually treated Crowley as an equal or sought to understand Crowley’s perspective yet.
Aziraphale still seems to believe Crowley is just a ‘lost, confused angel’, rather than recognising what Crowley is actually doing: rejecting the system entirely and trying to do good on his own terms. Aziraphale still believes the desire to be Angelic and the desire to be good to others are the same thing, therefore if Crowley is good (as he’s shown himself to be) he must be secretly want to be an Angel and is betraying that whenever he argues against Heaven.
Aziraphale still hasn’t listened when Crowley explains over and over again that he DOESN’T WANT TO BE AN ANGEL. He’s still desperate for Heaven’s validation, even after he chose to leave, and there’s a deep void in his identity! He wants so desperately to be seen as “Good” (regardless of the actual morality of his actions) that it’s used over and over again to coerce and manipulate him! He also wants desperately for Crowley to be “Good” too, because at this point Aziraphale couldn’t ever let himself trust or accept Crowley if he wasn’t.
Aziraphale’s ‘angelic superiority’ is still constantly used to prop up his own identity, and he still considers deviance from Heaven (both in himself and others) as something shameful, embarrassing and in need of being ‘Corrected’. He also still believes Crowley needs/wants to be “Forgiven” by Heaven and that angels are inherently superior to everyone else!
Aziraphale’s default response to suffering being to make it about Heavenly purity rather than empathising with others also makes him extremely blind/self-centred in some situations. He’s proven that he’s willing to adopt empathy - the force that drives Crowley to compassion and forgiveness - if it helps to do good for others, but it’s still a very undeveloped skill in him.
At the start of this season Aziraphale lets Crowley sleep in his car for God’s sake, and apparently only calls Crowley when he wants something! He takes Crowley’s devotion to him for granted, and dismisses Crowley’s feelings and perspective on Gabriel instantly! Whenever they disagree on anything Aziraphale just assumes that he is Good and Crowley is Evil, therefore Crowley’s perspective isn’t worth taking seriously. And Crowley loves Aziraphale so much and is so afraid of losing him that he just… concedes. Over and over again. And keeps on forgiving him without Aziraphale ever realising how deep he’s cutting Crowley. Even now, Aziraphale still sees everything as a dichotomy between “Good” and “Evil”, “Angelic” and “Demonic”, with no middle ground or space outside of it. A worldview that fundamentally misunderstands Crowley’s entire life, moral compass and identity.
Aziraphale does love Crowley, but he still hasn’t reckoned with Heaven’s brainwashing. He still won’t ever be able to understand Crowley’s perspective until he gets the outcome he thought would fix everything, and realises that it won’t.
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