#backgrounds are hard to determine for them because many of them are connected...

[myheartismadeofstars]

Rainbow Six: DnD version

Technically all of them would have the same background (since a huge part of their story is that they all fell into a Fae Mound and grew up together not knowing that decades passed between each of their Fall)

Zel: Human Cleric of Cyrrollalee (Peace Domain). Zel is the youngest of the kids to Fall, but also the first. She is patient and kind and homey. She really was too young for her life before to really have impacted her. She first became aware of her goddess when she met a halfling woman who mentioned her. Everything she stood for seemed to perfectly suit Zel's dreams for her future. Still a girl at this time, Zel started worshipping her until eventually her desire for a peaceful life and a happy home genuinely caught her goddess's eye.

Archie: Human Monk - Sunsoul. Archie is Zel's older brother who Fell immediately after her, well...more accurately, he jumped. He is very excitable and active and very protective of his sister. He acts before he thinks more often than not. He began studying ki as an adult in hopes of tempering his personality, however, he finds himself unable to truly immerse himself in the teachings.

Verena: Genasi (Water 🌊) Mystic - Avatar.

Verena is the only Genasi in her family, a reawakened connection her older siblings do not have. Her family struggled with her being so different, and she was sent to live with her Uncle, a Peaceman, a priest of Eldath. Verena can get the Acolyte background, as religion was a big part of her upbringing and she still considers her Uncle's faith important to her identity. Verena is very honest, and while she does try to remain a pacifist she's not afraid to fight back. She was a dancer before her Fall. She realized she had psionic abilities as a teenager in the plane she grew up in, and sought to develop them, allowing her to feel other's emotions.

Audrey: Genasi (Fire 🔥) Artificer - Battle Smith

Audrey is chronically ill. She was moved out of the city to improve her health. She was always bitter about her poor health and often sought to escape from her own life. This resulted in her Fall. She became very interested in the work of an artificer. Her Steel Defender not only aids her in battle, but helps her when her illness flares up. She's a stoic and sometimes harsh woman, but she will fight tooth and nail for the people she cares for, often putting her health at risk.

Clemont: Human Artificer - Cook (HB)

Clemont was the oldest when he Fell. Almost twelve and already a caretaker by nature. Clemont already knew how to cook, but he wanted to make food that could heal bodies as well as hearts. He thinks that the point of life is to be kind to each other. He doesn't talk about his life before the Fall.

Nilo: Aasimar (Protector 🛡️)Fighter - Gunslinger

Nilo may have divine blood, but he didn't have a divine beginning. Nilo often describes himself as basically being an urchin for how little his mother was involved with his upbringing. It wasn't fair and it filled him with anger. Nilo ran away, intending to disappear, when he Fell. There was a time, between him learning how to wield the firearms he specializes in and now, where he was mislead and ended up killing innocents and almost Falling in a different sense. He has devoted himself to never making this mistake again and is now much more cautious when it comes to killing. He sees himself as a force of justice and equality, but he is prone to vigilantism.

Bonus "BAD" Trio:

Bee: Tiefling (Dis) Rogue - Phantom

Bee was adopted at a young age by her best friend's parents. She suffered a lot of prejudice for her birth (first Tiefling in her family. Her father made a deal with a devil in secret to support his six sons and then afterwards his daughter was marked by the pact). Truly she's polite and helpful, but you wouldn't know it if you're visibly human. She views all humans with suspicion, assuming they will treat her the same way. She likes sweets and warm sunshine. She's always smiling, even when angry.

Aideen: Human Bard - Eloquence.

After being adopted as a child by a politician, Aideen found her purpose in life was exactly that. She's very bright and loves people. She prefers to talk her way out of problems if at all possible.

Donovan: Human Paladin - Glory

Donovan is Aideen's biological brother, who wasn't adopted until a few years after her. He's bitter that everyone embraces his sister, they often expect him to be similar to her, but they are so different. He's not his sister. He took his oath for the sake of making himself stand out.

Donovan has, for years now, travelled in the company of a strange Lizardfolk Barbarian and a Firbolg Wizard

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

•~{ Heyyyy, So I realized I haven’t made a post mostly about Dani and Dan soo I fixed that :) }~•

The Sun and Moon

The JL needed help.

To be specific they needed powerful magical help, A new cult had started up somewhere near metropolis and they had started to steal different things in the past the JL just thought that they were selling the things they stole as they found no connection with the objects so they treated it like a normal group of thief’s.

Until they got a tip about a cult summoning so they fly over to stop it but they are to late and the beings that the cult is summoned and it has started to cause violent storms and extremely dangerous earthquakes and several other very deadly natural disasters all around the world.

So some of the JL and JLD are in the watchtower trying to find a way to stop the being but nothing is coming to mind until Constantine sighs and starts to draw a summoning circle with many runes but the only runes the JL can tell what they are is a Sun and Moon.

Than Constantine pulls two pendants out of his coat and puts them in the middle of the circle and takes a large step back with a determined but sacred face and than the circle starts to glow then a large blast of wind out of the circle and they see two figures one young female and one young male than they say.

“You called us, what do you have to trade?”

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Background•

Danny has become the Ancient of space, wait let’s go back a bit.

Danny life has been fine, his parents accepted him but is it is really awkward and they always look at him with pity and guilt so it’s hard to be around him and with Jazz gone off to college there’s no one else in the house to talk too.

But at least Danny still has Sam and Tucker to talk too and with Dan redeemed and either traveling with Dani or with Clockwork in the Ghost Zone anyway with Sam gone with her parents off to a rich people thing and Tucker at a family reunion Danny is kinda feeling alone.

But it quickly becomes resolved as Dan and Dani came back to Amity Park to visit Danny and everything felt nice and calm.

Until Dani and Dan get taken by Vlad when they were about to go to nasty burger and Vlad takes them to make “better” clones of Dani as she was the only one of the clones to live longer then 10 minutes and Dan as his biologically could help keep the clone alive longer.

But Danny finds out fast and books it to Vlad’s house to get Dani and Dan His Children back and if Danny can beat the shit out of Vlad he wouldn’t be upset but Danny gets their too late and Danny is forced to de-aged Dani and Dan to keep them existing.

And to make sure Dani and Dan who have been renamed Dawn and Dusk stay safe and to make sure this doesn’t happen again [because Vlad is a vengeful fucker who refers to stay down] so he heads to The Ghost Zone then books it to clockwork and ask him what he should do.

Thats when Clockwork says that Danny should stay in his lair with the now twins and he’ll know what to do soon.

So Danny listens and with the children head to his lair and fall asleep.

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Little Facts•

•Dawn and Dusk help / give favors for trades

•John didn’t want to call the Sun and Moon Ancients as they are known to “play” around with humans

•Danny mostly sleeps or is very sleepy because of how big he is

•The Beings that was summoned was vortex and undergrowth 

•Dawn and Dusk call Danny “Mama”

•Danny mostly stays in his large Space form

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Appearances•

Dawn-

[ Dawn has a lot of gold jewelry that she was given by her Mama and by Dusk ]

Dusk-

[ Dusk’s star coat was given to him by his mama it is made out of real stars ]

This is the pendants

•~{ And that’s it! Hope you gremlins like this anyway until next time byeeee }~•

[wvvmrn]

Armin and Annie: Perfect for Each Other

Many people seem to misunderstand or feel confused about Armin and Annie’s relationship. But the author wouldn’t have connected them without careful intention.

Some might find it hard to understand Armin and Annie’s love, but simply assuming it’s because of Bertholdt’s influence isn’t the right approach. It doesn’t align with the story’s emphasis on autonomous, self-driven love. In fact, this behavior is very much in line with Armin’s character. Ideal people often act in ways that don’t make rational sense.

I believe their relationship has roots going back to Season 1, sharing well-crafted, complementary traits. Considering Armin’s development through to the end, this is clearly an intentional relationship established by Isayama from early on. Moreover, they share a relationship that is too meaningful to be simply dismissed.

I’ve reinterpreted the events surrounding them while inferring the author’s intent. I’m not trying to force anyone to agree, just hoping people might take it lightly and see that this is one valid way to understand their connection.

1. Boy Meets Girl

In my view, their relationship was not forced by anyone, but rather portrayed as a natural result of mutual growth and understanding—a journey of self-discovery.

Their bond is built on complementary traits that allow them to admire one another. Annie possesses inner flaws but outward strength, while Armin has outward weaknesses but inner strength. Annie’s vulnerability was an internal cynicism and nihilistic attitude rooted in her troubled family background, while Armin’s vulnerability was an external lack of confidence in being “a weak person,” as revealed through the admiration—tinged with inferiority—he felt toward Eren and Mikasa. This mutual awareness explains why they took notice of each other.

In the ODM inspection scene, Annie shows concern for Armin, and when she learns he plans to join the Survey Corps, a faint sadness flickers across her expression. Armin tells her she’s kind for worrying about him. In that moment, at the very least, he sees her as a good person. Annie, in turn, recognizes Armin’s quiet determination, and he becomes the first to truly notice the hidden kindness within her. They each saw something in the other that quietly stood out. In particular, Armin’s speech in Trost demonstrated the kind of strength to go against the tide—something she deeply admired.

(Annie cared about Armin, and when she heard that he was going to join the Survey Corps, she showed a sad expression.)

Also, through the close-up interviews on AU Smartpass (2014), we gain further insight into how they perceive each other.

— Annie: “Armin... he lacks strength, so is often a hindrance, but he doesn’t complain or ask for help... he has willpower.”

— Armin: “I thought that, Annie, despite coming off as cold and unfriendly, is pretty observant of her surroundings...”

And their interactions in the OAD, we can see that they had a relatively close relationship.

1-1) A Good Person Doesn’t Gamble

Their meaningful interaction was revealed in Stohess, underscoring the bond between them. Armin was able to recognize the Female Titan’s identity just by looking into her eyes. He voluntarily took the initiative to lure Annie out. It seemed he believed he had something within himself that could persuade her. Armin saw through Annie’s inner longing to be a good person and made use of the goodwill she felt toward him. This entire course of action would have been impossible if Armin hadn’t cared about her.

Armin’s gamble was the right one. We may never know how far he had to push her inner world down to make it happen. But Armin cared about Annie, and he was one of the few who could catch even a faint glimpse of the world inside her. She wanted to be a good person, and Armin chose to use the fact that, to him, she already was.

(Even though she was somewhat aware that it was a trap, Annie couldn’t bring herself to refuse to show kindness to Armin.)

(Though the words are directed at Eren, the gaze is fixed on Armin — a deliberate directorial choice.)

(Annie is hurt by Armin’s gaze—their relationship formed through glances.)

(Just as Annie couldn’t bring herself to kill Armin, Armin also couldn’t bring himself to expose Annie’s crime—the discovery of Marco’s ODM gear—for an entire month.)

(Annie couldn’t kill Armin because of an “indescribable something.”)

Annie nearly killed Jean, but she couldn’t bring herself to do the same to Armin—twice. It’s true that she felt a sense of camaraderie with the 104th trainees and tried not to harm them more than necessary. However, it is also a fact that Annie treated Armin in a uniquely special way. Her kindness was focused on Armin—with deliberate narrative intent. Armin represents the humanity that Annie couldn’t let go of, even within her cruelty.

(Right after Annie accepted the mission and during their later reunion, there are depictions of Armin feeling guilt about this matter.)

“Armin, I'm glad I could be a good person to you...”

In that moment, Annie was seized by a sudden, inexplicable sense of liberation. Betrayal, trust, friendship, the charade she had played, even her faith in Armin—all the things that had weighed her down—fell away. She could now betray even the faint trace of hope that remained within her. Just as Armin had. Because they were not necessarily good person, they gambled.

1-2) The Things That Get Us Into Trouble

(A magazine that hints at Annie’s feelings for Armin)

— Armin: “There are also people who are forced into a dilemma because of such special feelings. I realized that those feelings are often made use of... That is why, even if I have someone I like, I won't say it. Because it will end up as a weakness of mine...(close-up interviews on AU Smartpass, 2014)”

Armin spoke about love in this way. His perspective mirrored the situation they found themselves in: Annie, caught up in that “indescribable something” she felt toward Armin, had ended up putting herself in a difficult position.

It was a momentary whim. For a brief time, she placed being a good person to Armin above returning to her father. This choice ultimately led to her downfall. Armin, too, was unable to reveal her alleged guilt for an entire month. Deep down, he denied or wished to ignore the possibility that the enemy might be Annie. Even after her true identity was uncovered, he still tried to communicate with her. Whether this was mere camaraderie or something more cannot be determined. But at the very least, it was clear that something was unfolding between them.

In the Female Titan arc, Annie was portrayed as a monster alongside Eren, while her human side was emphasized through Armin. I felt that Annie and Armin were connected on a deeply human level.

Armin represented the humanity that Annie still couldn’t fully let go of. However, after the Battle of Stohess District, Armin realized that while he could love Annie as a human, he could not love her as a monster. Armin was responsible for the blood spilled by the Survey Corps that day.

1-3) The Monster and the Good Person

Of course, at this stage, it’s not certain whether they were already in love. However, it’s clear that they regarded each other as somewhat special—and that there was a genuine human affection between them.

In particular, Annie’s feelings for Armin are expressed quite openly. For example, she deliberately directs her gaze toward him when she mentions “the feelings of a feeble maiden.” And she couldn’t bring herself to kill Armin because of that indescribable something she felt.

​Furthermore, Armin was the first person to recognize Annie’s kindness—to see her as a good person. He was the only one who treated her as a girl, not as a weapon. That might seem like a small detail, but to someone starved of affection, those words must have been a true source of comfort.

However, due to the cynicism shaped by her difficult family background, Annie was unable to fully understand her own emotions, while Armin was a boy who hid his feelings because of his particular view on love. This likely served as the author’s justification for portraying their relationship in such a complex and nuanced way.

​Personally, I believe Armin symbolized the kind of person Annie aspired to be—a good person. Their relationship repeatedly invokes the metaphor of the “monster” and the “good person.” At this point in the story, it’s enough to understand that they either hadn’t fully recognized their feelings yet—due to emotional immaturity or conflicting circumstances—or that their bond simply carried the potential to blossom into love.

2. Bertholdt Effect

I believe the author introduced the so-called 'Bertholdt effect' only to explicitly refute it—just as Mikasa’s obsessive attachment to Eren was ultimately revealed to be nothing more than simple love, not driven by any deeper or mysterious cause. There are far more reasons to reject that theory than to accept it.

“(To Eren, who asks about Bertholdt’s memories) Nothing that seemed useful.”

Considering how inconsistently memory inheritance works, it’s unlikely that Armin inherited much from Bertholdt’s memories. The inheritance period was relatively short—only four years—and Armin isn’t even related to Bertholdt by blood. There are no scenes explicitly showing Armin accessing inherited memories—only indirect implications. In fact, not a single scene depicts him actively using Bertholdt’s memories.

From 845 to 850, Ymir had little to no access to Marcel’s memories, and Eren also took a long time to recall his father’s. Armin had no knowledge of Marley or the Warriors. In fact, he even admitted that he couldn’t retrieve anything useful from Bertholdt’s memories. His awe and wonder when he first saw the ocean — and again when he arrived in Marley — remained completely genuine. The memories of the world outside the walls must have been either nonexistent or extremely faint. The closer we get to Armin’s early visits to Annie’s crystal, the less likely it becomes that Bertholdt’s memories played any role. To explain it as Bertholdt’s doing would be not only ironic, but also misguided. It’s simply not the right approach.

Considering Annie’s isolated personality and withdrawn attitude, it’s unlikely that Armin would have inherited any deep or meaningful memories of her. In fact, those memories would probably have differed little from the way Armin perceived Annie back in their cadet days. Therefore, the claim that he fell in love with her solely because of Bertholdt’s memories — without any genuine feelings of his own — is ultimately unconvincing.

Of course, that doesn’t mean he saw nothing at all—but it certainly wasn’t to the extent Eren implied. It didn’t have a profound impact on him. Rather, Armin’s actions appear to be guided by his own will.

Personally, I believe the memories Armin inherited were mostly from Paradis Island: memories of training with his friends, moments when they felt guilt and helplessness, and especially the trauma of causing Marco’s death. These would have helped Armin, someone who constantly seeks understanding, empathize with the Warriors.

This could be considered a set of “useless” memories that, while not significantly impacting the story (such as Armin obtaining information about the Warrior Unit in Marley from Bertholdt’s memories), help him better understand the Warriors’ perspective.

2-1) A Lie in the Guise of Truth

The idea of inheriting someone else’s emotions is simply absurd. Porco didn’t care about Historia during the Paradis infiltration, and Eren never felt Grisha’s guilt toward Zeke. Armin and Reiner didn’t share a deep bond either. If inheriting emotions were truly possible, the Reiss and Tybur families—who have passed down the Titan powers for generations—would be plagued by incest. And if Erwin had eaten Bertholdt, would he have fallen in love with Annie?

Why would something never shown anywhere else in the story suddenly apply only to Armin—and only in the context of love? Especially when the sole basis for this claim is Eren’s lie.

Everything else shapes Armin’s identity, yet the feeling of love for Annie alone is supposed to belong to Bertholdt. That would require a massive leap in both the scope and impact of memory inheritance—so it’s simply not a reasonable explanation.

The timing of Armin inheriting Bertholdt’s power was merely coincidental or due to circumstantial factors, and Eren exploited that coincidence to support his lie. This seems to be a source of confusion for many people. The creator deliberately planted narrative devices to heighten the shock and plausibility of the “table scene.” These were intentional misdirections—crafted to appear believable.

• The special bond of the Ackermans, and Mikasa’s headaches.

• The highly contrived scene where Mikasa subdues Armin.

• Eren’s ambiguous feelings toward Mikasa and the line, “Mikasa, I’ve always hated you.”

• Armin’s ambiguous feelings toward Annie, and the deliberately unclear timing of his visits to her crystal.

This is a narrative device crafted to make Eren’s lie feel convincing. By first presenting shocking claims to draw the audience in, and then later refuting them, the story reestablishes a sense of justification. Consequently, the emotional threads initially implied may appear subtle or even suspicious—but in hindsight, they can be read either as genuine emotional hints or as narrative evidence of deception.

This is especially true if we focus on Armin’s situation. First, Eren needed to confuse Armin to gain control over the conversation. And to keep readers immersed, the story had to make that confusion plausible. The ambiguous timing of Armin’s visits to the crystal also served to make his love appear sudden.

The limited depiction of Armin’s emotions serves a similar purpose. Looking at Armin’s view on love from the close-up interview on AU Smartpass—“...That is why, even if I have someone I like, I won't say it. Because it will end up as a weakness of mine...”—we can understand this intention to some extent.

It’s highly likely that Eren’s claim about the “Bertholdt effect” was a lie. Considering that he lied to Mikasa to push her away, it makes perfect sense that he’d do the same to Armin—using emotional manipulation. There’s no reason to think he’d suddenly be honest with Armin and Armin alone. After all, Eren didn’t truly want to hurt him.

This also implies that Annie was a significant figure to Armin. Eren used her as a tool to wound him emotionally—which only works if Annie genuinely mattered to him. If Armin hadn’t truly loved her, Eren would have chosen a different method.

This is later admitted once again by Eren. The fact that Zeke indirectly denies the so-called “Bertholdt effect,” followed immediately by Armin’s confession in the very next episode, reveals a deliberate narrative intention.

Armin had already suspected that Eren was lying. Unlike Mikasa, he didn’t waver in the face of Eren’s harsh words—he seemed confident in his own emotions. Furthermore, when Annie’s crystal was undone, Armin initially regarded her as a potential threat. More importantly, he prioritized rescuing Falco. He was never controlled by anyone, nor did he abandon his responsibilities due to personal feelings.

In the confession scene between Armin and Annie, their conversation revolves around the concept of being a “good person.” This alone makes it clear that the dialogue is uniquely theirs. It also confirms that their relationship, which began as early as Season 1, held deep emotional significance. Mikasa, too, disregarded Eren’s words and supported their relationship.

While it’s true that Bertholdt’s memories helped Armin understand Annie better, dismissing Armin’s visits and the love that grew from them as merely the result of Bertholdt’s influence is inappropriate. Such a view completely ignores Armin’s unique personality and his own free will.

3. Armin’s Motivation

(An official voice drama depicting Armin going to see Annie while Eren watches — could this be where Eren’s idea at the table scene originated?)

The exact timing of Armin’s first visit to Annie is unclear—it could have been either before or after the retaking of Wall Maria and his inheritance of the Colossal Titan. However, the voice drama is believed to take place shortly after they saw the ocean, and based on what is said in the dialogue, it’s clear that Armin had already been visiting her regularly. While it’s not certain, I currently estimate the timing to be shortly after the medal ceremony.

This is based on several clues: Armin is depicted wearing his medal, and It might have functioned as a kind of authorization to visit. the emotional impact of Floch’s accusations, and the hairstyles of both Hitch and Armin during that time.

3-1) Escalation of Mental Burden

According to Isayama’s Q&A interview (2015), Armin would often scream alone in the forest to release stress. From this, we can imagine Armin speaking to Annie in her crystal. It is also a hint that their relationship was kept in mind. The main reason Armin visited her was to find emotional solace—not just to comfort her or because of some “Bertholdt effect,” but because it aligned with his own emotional needs.

At the time, Armin was under immense psychological strain. Consider how he mentally broke down when the Okapi Titan captured him. He experienced killing for the first time. And he also had to ate Bertholdt, who was once his friend. Eren was changing rapidly. Being chosen instead of Erwin made him feel the weight of countless critical gazes. Armin sought out Annie to relieve that mental burden.

Listen closely to what Armin says in front of Annie’s crystal—in the anime and official voice dramas. He shares his worries and talks about himself while holding the conch shell. Even in a cruel world, we see a version of Armin who still dreams of understanding and hope.

3-2) The Trait of Never Giving Up on Understanding

Another reason lies in Armin’s relentless pursuit of understanding. He genuinely wanted to understand Annie. To him, there was something about her that couldn’t be explained by the simple label of “enemy.” That something was the kindness she had shown him. Annie couldn’t bring herself to kill Armin—yet Armin had, in a way, driven her to her death. Their roles had reversed, and the contradiction lingered in his mind, accompanied by a guilt he couldn’t quite name.

The expansion of the world gave Armin a broader perspective and deeper longing—but also more concerns. To him, Annie was like a forest. The fact that she showed him kindness despite being an enemy reminded him that she wasn’t simply evil. As someone who tries to understand others, Armin naturally wanted to understand her. That desire drove him to visit her.

It seems Armin believed in the warmth he once sensed from Annie. And he projected his ideals onto that warmth. His desire to understand her reminded him of his longing for the unknown and his hope for dialogue. Perhaps that’s why he so desperately sought to know her reasons—why she had to do what she did. Armin might have been trying to find the real Annie, the person beyond all the guilt and bloodshed. Just like when he once retrieved a conch shell from a sea of blood.

3-3) How to Love a Monster

Considering Armin’s willingness to communicate, his persistent spirit of understanding, his ways of coping with mental burdens and stress, and the feelings he harbored since Season 1, it is reasonable to conclude that this love arose from Armin’s own will, independent of external influence. Bertholdt’s memories may have accelerated Armin’s understanding, but not his emotions — and the judgment of that understanding has always been Armin’s own.

After the Raid on Liberio, Armin gained a deeper understanding of the Warriors’ perspective and grew into someone capable of empathizing with both sides. He felt compassion not only for Annie, but also for Bertholdt — the very person who had trampled his homeland, killed many of his comrades, and nearly brought him to death’s door. Yet, they had once been friends. The story consistently emphasizes that they weren’t so different; with just a shift in perspective, they could have remained friends — just as they were during their cadet days. When Hitch tells Annie, “I heard your story from Armin,” it becomes clear that Armin had already come to truly understand them.

Though they couldn’t hold each other physically, they were deeply connected mentally. Armin’s confession of his sins to Annie feels reminiscent of a confessional booth — projecting his inner turmoil onto her, seeking comfort, and trying to console the “monsters” they had become. Just as Annie maintained her sanity through Armin’s presence, Armin found emotional support in her. Given the human affection they shared since their training days, it’s only natural that Armin’s feelings for Annie developed into genuine love over. He built this love slowly and healthily.

Any sense of moral superiority between Armin and Annie had lost its meaning. Now, Armin and Annie faced each other as monsters. To fully accept her was, in essence, to understand himself. I believe that from this moment on, Armin was finally able to truly comprehend his own feelings. What remained unchanged were his feelings. In a turbulent world, the one thing he held onto was love. It was all he could accept.

“Annie, please... say something.” Armin said that as he gently held the conch shell.

4. The Author’s Intention

“Are you human or are you titans—are you a good person, or a monster?”

The charm of “AruAni” lies in their complementary traits and the dynamic way their relationship emotionally evolves depending on the circumstances. It is a subtle yet deeply engaging bond that makes understanding them all the more rewarding. Armin embodies the idealistic side for Annie, while Annie brings a sense of realism to Armin. Furthermore, their perspectives on what it means to be a “good person” enrich the story by exploring the nuances of good and evil, as well as complex moral dilemmas.

In short, the feelings that began as a simple human connection during their cadet days gradually blossomed into love over the four years Armin spent visiting Annie in the crystal. That love ultimately came to fruition as they faced the end of the world together. Their relationship is not rooted in moral superiority, but in mutual understanding. It is a healthy bond grounded in emotional connection and shared growth.

4-1) Fix You

This dynamic between Armin and Annie encapsulates the core message of the series. Thematically, it suggests the possibility of an ideal world—where hatred transforms into love through mutual understanding. On a personal level, it symbolically represents the recovery of humanity: the journey of those who were forced to become monsters—child soldiers swept up in an era of war—gradually becoming human again through empathy and understanding.

This is also why I see their relationship as clearly intentional. Considering that Armin is both the narrator and the one who bears the burden of survival, it seems the author always intended him to symbolize reconciliation between those inside and outside the Walls. When this concept is scaled down to the personal level, it becomes a story of hatred and love between individuals—with Annie being the most fitting counterpart. Their relationship connects silence and conversation, and even if peace on a global scale may be impossible, it shows that the chain of hatred can still be broken on a personal level.

Attack on Titan is a story that emphasizes agency in love rather than blind affection. If Armin’s love had been forced upon him by someone else, he would never have confessed it, and Isayama would never have portrayed it positively. Armin and Annie’s relationship represents, in a narrow sense, personal growth through understanding and love; in a broader sense, it shows the process of rebuilding hatred into love—and ultimately peace—through dialogue. It is no coincidence that Armin was chosen to guide the world toward peace.

​

5. My Own Take

Armin and Annie’s relationship blurs the line between good and evil through the metaphor of the monster and the good person, creating a moral dilemma. What we should focus on is not who is more deserving, but the process by which hatred transforms into love through understanding. It is, at its core, simply the process of one human learning to love another.

The bond between Armin and Annie is the story of “monsters” who longed to become “good person.” To understand each other was, in turn, to understand themselves. Just as Armin picked up a conch shell in a sea of blood, he saw the girl within the monster named Annie.

And he is a boy who chooses to live in a cruel world for the sake of beauty. The love with Annie symbolizes that very way of life for Armin. Through Armin, Annie was able to rediscover her true self. That’s why she was able to break free from her cynicism and make a choice that defied the flow. Recovering Armin from a life stained with regret made her truly alive again

5-1) When You’re Fallin’, You Can’t Dance

“I'd do it all over again.”

All of her actions, it’s said, were not driven by some grand cause to save the world—but simply by the desire to return to her father. For the sake of what was precious to her, she trampled on what was precious to others. Even as she was overwhelmed by guilt and despair at the corpses left in her wake, she admitted she would do it all over again. If it meant seeing her father again.

That was the true nature of the monster named Annie Leonhart—utterly selfish, yet profoundly realistic; almost small-minded in a way. She was still just a “regular people.” It was the burden of a vast current she could not resist, and a cry against her own cynicism.

Annie saw Armin as a good person while regarding herself as a monster. Because of this, she may have felt unworthy of being by Armin’s side. Alongside the compulsion to see herself as a “monster,” Annie also longed to be a “good person.” Her cynicism and avoidance slowly eroded her sense of identity each time she drifted further from that ideal.

But Armin took her hand. He did not deny her monster side, and he accepted his own monster as well. It was a process of accepting each other as they truly were. In a world filled with violence, this was the power and value of understanding and empathy. It was at this moment that Annie named that “indescribable something” by the name of love. Annie sat beside Armin once again.

Armin, too, had lost his humanity countless times under the banner of saving mankind. He knew all too well that he was not a good person. He carried with him an overwhelming sense of guilt—voices not only of soldiers, but of civilians, sometimes even children, and at times, of his own homeland, comrades, and friends.

There was no such thing as a “good person.” What existed were only people—and those who wished to be human. Much less would a monster ever blush.

Annie’s growth lies in her realization of the importance not only of her father but also of her comrades and Armin. She breaks free from her cynical attitude and begins to seek her true self. Until then, she had merely been one of the “regular people,” drifting along with the current—but through Kiyomi’s words and Falco’s help, she finally found the strength to resist it. At the end of that choice stood Armin—whose heart is connected to hers (Guidebook, 2021).

— Annie: “...On the contrary, if I could find one, maybe this meaningless world... might become a little better(close-up interview on AU Smartpass, 2014).”

Morning and evening. Our lives may be nothing more than a cycle filled with emptiness. And yet, if there is anything that can make life rich, it is love. If Annie could find someone truly precious within her nihilistic world, then perhaps that very meaninglessness could finally give rise to meaning. A meaning that allows one to live for tomorrow, with a sense of hope—like Zeke simply playing catch, or like their childhood selves running toward that tree on the hill. Armin is someone who can find meaning in the meaningless, and for Annie, he was that person all the more.

She seemed as if she were dreaming of an escape with her lover—like Eren and Mikasa's life in the cabin. In a world where there was nothing left for her to love, it felt like she just wanted to stay with Armin. But just as Mikasa couldn't stop Eren's advance, Armin too must move toward the conclusion of his choice, and Annie cannot stop him. Armin, too, understood Annie’s fragile heart and wished for her to find peace rather than pain, so he didn’t stop her from leaving. Mikasa cared for them because she knew better than anyone what it meant to carry such regret while moving forward.

There can be no paradise where you escaped and arrived. Just as Paradis Island was never a true paradise for the Eldians, Hizuru-the land Annie's ship was bound for—was never going to be hers. Her paradise was no longer a place, but a "form."

Mikasa's growth lies in letting go of Eren, while Annie's lies in being with Armin. Annie was able to be honest with herself through Armin. She no longer felt bound by the compulsion to see herself as a “monster,” or the yearning to be a “good person.” Because of this, she made a choice without regret. The bird broke the boat sailing on regret—her former self—and flew toward her own “life.”

This imagery evokes the themes of Demian. Armin is a central figure who breaks down the boundary between good and evil—there are no good person, only those who are useful. It was this Armin that Annie found at the end of her journey toward personal growth.

This was something only Armin could give Annie, which is why I believe their relationship holds an even deeper meaning. Without Armin, those four years of conversation would have been meaningless. The complexity and mutual understanding between them moved Annie’s heart precisely because it was Armin—no one else.

"I'm glad, Annie... should just keep on being Annie."

Armin is a character who places great importance on “beauty” in a world that is both beautiful and cruel. He saw kindness in Annie, and even after she became a “monster,” she never lost that kindness toward him. Believing in that beauty and investing his ideals in it, Armin began to see Annie in a new light. As long as he could believe that beauty was real, he was fully capable of loving her.

In the scene where Armin speaks to Annie’s crystal, he’s holding a conch shell in his hand. The conch shell symbolizes his ideals. It also serves as a clear narrative device affirming that his conversation with Annie stems from his own identity. This reflects Armin’s understanding of, and hope for, the unknown that is “Annie Leonhart”—a hope that ultimately encompasses love. The human inner world is like another ocean.

Armin was the reward for the humanity Annie never let go of, and Annie was the realization of the conch shell Armin used to hold—his ideals, hope, beauty, and love—even if they once seemed like empty idealism.

A boy who once longed for the world beyond the Walls falls in love with a girl from beyond them. This is that kind of story. To find love on the side of hatred, to be with someone who came from beyond the Walls—could there be any ending more fitting for Armin?

Eren and Mikasa’s relationship holds significance in the progression of the story, while Armin and Annie’s relationship carries meaning in its resolution. Their love resembles the process of rebuilding what has been reduced to ruins—whether it be the heart, or the world.

​

Thanks for taking the time to read my long post. I hope it was helpful to you.

[daydreamingsommie]

I think Engage has more worldbuilding than people give it credit for. It's just mostly visual rather than spoken

Firene is not only the largest country, it also has the most usable land compared to others. Gameplay-wise, most fruit and vegetable items will be from Firene because it's the fertile kingdom. No one else could possibly compare to their bounty. It also has the closest route into Lythos as the most devout of the four nations

Brodia's mountainous terrain adds to its characterization as a harsh military kingdom. From the map, it's difficult to determine where any settlements should be. The villages, the weak points full of ordinary civilians, all seem to benefit from this natural protection, but also suggests an unfriendly nature. Outsiders unfamiliar with the nation are likely to be intimidated by the treacherous environment. There's also a distinct lack of usable land. It has the highest area of barren land and steep mountains that are hard to settle on. It's obvious why they began their conquests. Brodian land just isn't sustainable

In fact, the most reasonable place to find one of Brodia's towns based on the map would be on the bluff near Paralogue 5 which puts it right in the middle of the Brodia/Elusia conflict

Solm's desert seems harsh on the surface, but the rougher areas are balanced out by the giant oases and vast coastlines. While homegrown crops are limited, the trade route options are easily accessible with many good locations to use as a quick stop. It's clear why they rely so heavily on trade and why it's so lucrative with the palace being reasonably close to the coast

Elusia is clearly the most isolated out of the nations in Elyos. Both of its borders are harsher to cross than the bridge and beaches Firene shares with Brodia and Solm. The moors are dark and swampy, and even without the war, crossing through the frosty canyons in Brodia is a difficult journey. Even Givre Port, their main trading port, is surrounded by snowy mountains which means even sea travel is a challenge for them. Elusia is the only nation outside of their treaty which is reflected by how difficult it is to even interact with other nations

Firene's more peaceful borders compared to Elusia's really sells why Firene is the keystone within the alliance between itself, Brodia, and Solm and why Elusia's been unable to form stronger connections with them for generations with or without their history with the Fell Dragon being considered

It's stated that Solm receives most of its food from Elusia which makes sense with the coast being an easy point to receive goods from them and is also Elusia's only option with Firene being too far and their bad blood with Brodia

Brodia and Firene have a man-made bridge as their border which implies they had to consciously choose to form peaceful relations, but it's also easily destructible should they come into conflict which forces Brodia to avoid targeting them for conquest at the risk of being closed off in their corner of Elyos

Worldbuilding doesn't always need a bunch of exposition. Sometimes, it's right there in the background in the world around all the characters

[wonubby]

GOL PARI JOON ! - K. BAKUGO

chapter 00: esmet chie? (whats your name)

SYPONOSIS - at U.A, y/n is known as Gol Pari, the untouchable flower fairy. admired by all, wanted by many, but she rejects them all without hesitation. yet, the only one she desires is katsuki bakugo, the one guy who doesn’t care. and y/n isn’t used to being ignored.

STATUS - ongoing

TAGLIST - open

esmet chie means what's your name and i'd like to add that y/n's skin colour is not specified; she's just from an iranian background!

present - masterlist - next

Y/N L/N

hero name: gol pari (flower fairy)

quirk: bloombringer

y/n has a deep connection with nature, specifically flowers and fae-like energy. by touching the ground or any surface with organic material, they can instantly sprout vibrant flowers and plants. these aren’t just ordinary plants; they carry magical properties, influenced by the user’s emotions and intent.

Healing Blossoms: Soft blue flowers that release a soothing pollen, capable of closing minor wounds and easing pain.

Binding Vines: Thorny roses that rapidly grow and entangle opponents, tightening the more they struggle.

Fae’s Whisper: Delicate glowing petals that, when inhaled, cause hallucinations of eerie fae-like figures, unsettling enemies.

Withering Bloom: A rare ability where the user can make flowers rapidly decay, draining energy from whatever they touch.

the bloombringer quirk has some major downsides. if they overuse it, they start wilting, aka, getting weak, pale, and barely able to move. their plants react to their emotions, so if they freak out, things can go very wrong. it also drains their energy fast, so they can’t spam it. concrete cities are a nightmare since they can’t grow plants without carrying seeds or soil. fire is their worst enemy (because, duh, plants burn), cold slows everything down, and too much water can make their plants go crazy. their vines and flowers aren’t unbreakable either; someone strong enough can just rip through them. plus, some plants take time to grow, so they can’t always react instantly, and their pollen could easily hit the wrong people if the wind decides to be a jerk.

age: 17

height: 5'7

fun facts:

y/n was born in iran and lived there until she was five before moving to japan. she comes from a wealthy family with royal blood but prefers to keep it to herself. ethnically, she is iranian on her mother’s side and japanese on her father’s.

she grew up alongside katsuki and izuku, but they drifted apart when her family moved to a more exclusive area, right next to todoroki shoto’s house.

as a kid, y/n wasn’t particularly interested in becoming a hero, but after awakening her quirk and training with shoto, they both caught endeavor’s attention and earned a recommendation.

Katsuki Bakugo

hero name: great explosion murder god dynamight or dynamight for short

quirk: bakugo's quirk is explotion. he can create and control explosions from the sweat on his palms, which is made of a highly flammable substance. he uses these explosions for powerful attacks, mobility, and to enhance his strength. the more he sweats, the stronger the explosions can get, but using it too much tires him out.

age: 17

height: 6'1

fun facts:

bakugo grew up with y/n, and even though they drifted apart when her family moved to a wealthier area, he always admired her from afar. as kids, they were close, but his fiery personality and competitive nature made it hard for him to express it directly. he was always impressed by her strength and determination, especially as she trained with todoroki.

despite his tough exterior, bakugo has a soft spot for the people he cares about, especially his mom, even if he doesn't show it. growing up, he was always a perfectionist, which made him easily frustrated when things didn’t go as planned, but he never let that stop him from pushing himself and others to be the best.

his rivalry with izuku only made him more driven, but deep down, he respected the people around him; especially y/n, who always seemed to have a natural strength he couldn’t help but admire.

Mina Ashido

hero name: pinkie

quirk: mina ashido's quirk is acid. she can produce and control a corrosive liquid from her body, which she can use to attack, melt objects, or even create defensive barriers. the acid is strong enough to dissolve most substances, but she has complete control over its viscosity, allowing her to adjust its thickness and consistency. she can also coat her body with acid to increase her mobility or make her attacks more effective. while it’s powerful, it can also be dangerous if she loses control, and she needs to be careful with it in close combat.

age: 17

height: 5'3

fun facts:

mina loves dancing and has an energetic, upbeat personality that makes her one of the most outgoing people in class 1-a. she’s got a huge sweet tooth and is often snacking on candy or sweets.

she shares a close bond with kirishima, and they’re often seen hanging out and having a good time. her friendship with y/n is also really strong; they’ve been through a lot together, and mina always has y/n’s back, offering support and a bit of humor when things get tough. despite her bubbly nature, she’s always really considerate and protective of her friends, ready to step in whenever they need her.

Kirishima Eijiro

hero name: red riot

quirk: kirishima's quirk lets him harden his body to become as tough as rock, making him nearly invulnerable to physical attacks. the longer he stays hardened, the more stamina it drains, but he can use it for powerful offense and to take damage for his team. the harder he gets, the more durable he becomes, but he has to be careful not to overdo it and tire himself out.

age: 17

height: 5'9

fun facts:

kirishima is known for his super friendly and upbeat personality, always ready to encourage his friends and make them smile. he loves to make everyone feel included and is one of the most supportive people in class 1-a.

despite his tough exterior, he has a soft spot for his friends and is especially protective of y/n, who he’s been close with for a long time. his friendship with y/n is built on mutual respect, and he’s always there to cheer her on, even if she’s feeling down.

kirishima is also one of the people who secretly hopes that y/n and bakugo will get together, always trying to nudge them in the right direction, though he knows they’re both a bit too stubborn to admit it. he’s also a huge fan of protein shakes and loves to talk about them whenever he gets the chance.

Denki Kaminari

hero name: chargebolt

quirk: denki's quirk allows him to generate and release electricity from his body. he can use this to power up devices or unleash powerful electric shocks on opponents. however, if he overcharges himself, he can short-circuit his brain, causing him to become temporarily "zapped" and unable to think clearly or control his quirk.

age: 17

height: 5'9

fun facts:

denki is the life of the party in class 1-a, always cracking jokes and making everyone laugh. he’s super outgoing and loves to make friends with anyone, making him pretty popular among his classmates. he’s also really chill and doesn’t let things stress him out too much.

his friendship with y/n is solid, and even though she’s a bit more serious than him, denki always knows how to lighten the mood and make her smile. he’s also tight with the bakusquad, often hanging out with kirishima, bakugo, and mina, and he’s the one who’s always trying to get them to relax and have fun together.

denki loves teasing bakugo, but he knows how to back off when it counts. he’s the kind of guy who will always have your back, even if he’s got a mischievous grin on his face.

Kyoka Jiro

hero name: earsplitter

quirk: kyoka’s quirk allows her to create sound waves by plugging the jacks on her earlobes into various objects or surfaces. she can release these sound waves in the form of powerful sonic blasts, using them for both offensive attacks and to sense her surroundings. the sound can also be focused into a concentrated attack, like a piercing noise. while her quirk is incredibly versatile, she needs to be careful with how much sound she generates, as it can leave her ears ringing and potentially cause damage if overused.

age: 17

height: 5'2

fun facts:

kyoka jiro is known for her calm and laid-back personality, often acting as the voice of reason in class 1-a. she’s a bit of a music lover and has a passion for playing the guitar, which ties into her quirk. kyoka is also very independent and doesn’t like relying on others, but she has a strong bond with her friends, especially with people like y/n, who she’s always willing to back up when needed. she’s pretty quiet, but when she does speak up, it’s usually something sarcastic or witty. kyoka also loves her personal space and can sometimes come off as aloof, but she’s a loyal friend who’s always ready to support those she cares about. despite being one of the more serious students, she’s always up for a good laugh and can definitely hold her own in the bakusquad's banter.

Hanta Sero

hero name: cellophane

quirk: hanta’s quirk allows him to produce tape from his elbows, which he can use for a variety of purposes like binding enemies, swinging around like Spider-Man, or even creating barriers. the tape is pretty strong and flexible, but it has its limits depending on how much he uses at once. hanta can also control the direction of the tape, making it a great tool for both offense and defense.

age: 17

height: 5'8

fun facts:

hanta sero is known for his playful and chill vibe, always making jokes and lightening the mood with his sense of humor. he’s super laid-back but still takes his hero training seriously when needed.

hanta has a close friendship with y/n, and he’s one of the few people who can make her laugh in even the toughest situations. he’s always looking out for her, whether it’s cracking a joke to cheer her up or offering help when she’s in a bind.

while he’s not as serious as some of the other class 1-a students, he’s incredibly loyal and always there for his friends. hanta’s easygoing nature makes him a good balance for y/n, and they’ve built a strong bond through their shared experiences in training and battles.

SOCIAL MEDIAS

© 2025 wonubby— All rights reserved. Please don't post my work as your own on any other sites.

[elliespuns]

how do you think joel would react to his girl having tinnitus and yk having hearing issues.. (bc i have tinnitus since like 2020) i think he would notice she has trouble hearing sometimes and often cries at night. i think he would be so sympathetic and supportive bc he himself has deaf problems ❤️😭

I just got this ask today, but I am compelled to respond to this ask as soon as I can so you know you're not alone.

Like you, I have been dealing with tinnitus myself. For me, it's the "humming" sound in my right ear. I'm 31 years old, healthy lifestyle, no smoking (except weed, lol), no caffeine (wish I could). It started almost 3 years ago. They say that many tinnitus sufferers thinks of commiting a sucide. I don't blame them, because when this phantom ear noise first appeared and I wasn't used to it being my constant companion, I wanted to blow my head off. As it started, I experienced near daily headaches and felt chronically unwell.

I thought it was a hearing issue, so I began seeing an otolaryngologist to determine the cause. Despite conducting every possible test and procedure, they were unable to find anything wrong. In fact, when they measured my hearing acuity, the results showed it to be perfect for someone my age. Paradoxically, the ill ear actually tested with even better hearing than my other ear.

I was at a low point in my life, battling depression and feeling utterly hopeless. Nothing brought me joy anymore. The constant hum in my ear was ever-present, except for when I listened to loud music. Only then, with my earphones on or in a noisy environment, could I temporarily escape the frustrating sound. The worst were nights and being in a quiet place.

But as I was also experiencing problems with my cervical spine, someone suggested I consult a specialist, as it could potentially be linked to my tinnitus. So I was referred to a physiatrist and neurologist who performed various physical manipulations to correct my alignment. I also underwent electrotherapy sessions.

Nothing helped. Eventually, I resigned myself to my fate. Over time, the sounds faded into the background and became less noticeable, blending in with the ambient noise of everyday life, unless I was focusing on it. Then, 6 months into physical therapy a miraculous change occurred—the tinnitus, while not vanishing entirely, greatly subsided in intensity. I still experience it to this day, but now it only bothers me when my back is acting up, during a killer migraine, or when I'm exhausted to the point of feeling utterly spent.

So let me tell you, I totally understand you and I'm sending you a big hug, honey. Tinnitus is truly an awful thing to experience. From what I've heard, even those who are completely deaf can still hear tinnitus—can you imagine not being able to perceive any sounds, yet still having a constant ringing, humming or buzzing noise in your ear? Life has a fucked up sense of humor.

And when it comes to Joel...

Joel would likely be very sympathetic and understanding if his girlfriend was experiencing tinnitus and hearing issues. As someone who is also hard of hearing in one ear, he would have a personal connection to the challenges and frustrations that come with hearing loss. I imagine he would be extremely supportive and patient, always making sure to face her when speaking so she can read his lips. He would put a lot of thought into communicating in ways that work for her—speaking clearly, finding quiet spaces for discussions, being mindful of background noise, maybe even learning a bit of sign language. He would want her to feel seen and heard, like she's still 100% connected to him. If she expressed anxiety or hopelessness about her condition, Joel would probably share some of his own struggles and how he's learned to adapt. He'd reassure her that she's still the same person, and that a hearing loss doesn't define her worth. His gentle, steady presence would be a source of comfort and strength for her to lean on. Joel's also the type to help research treatment options and go with her to appointments. He'd be her rock through the whole process—whatever it takes to help her feel better. His love is unconditional like that. He'd find ways to make her smile even on the tough days, like bringing home her favorite comfort food or just cuddling up on the couch watching a movie. In his quiet, steadfast way, Joel would be her biggest advocate and most loyal ally through this journey with hearing issues. He'd show her that even with a different way of experiencing the world, nothing would change the love and bond they share. His girlfriend would feel so cared for and lucky to have a partner like him.

[utilitycaster]

sort of an offshoot of that post about video game characters but I think I've mentioned before the third person v. first person split in D&D, namely, do you say "I attack it with my scimitar" or "Drizzt attacks with his scimitar". This is a well-known thing in TTRPGs, I'm sure you can find more intelligent discussion about it, but it's come up for me specifically in that a lot of old-school D&D players skew hard towards third person and often they are less interested in actual play, because they see D&D as a narrative tool. There's no self-inserts; they are narrating the exploits of a guy they made. And so the parasocial elements (which are not necessarily bad, it just depends, and that's another post) have no appeal, and even things like accents don't really.

I don't think third person vs. first person necessarily means "not a self insert vs. self insert." I switch between the two and often use first person. But I don't feel like any D&D character I've played is a self-insert. They have aspects of me, sure, because of course they do, I need to be able to play them and try to think like them, but I think in a game where death and failure are really possible and where you must collaborate and where your options are rather limited - because even in D&D, they are limited by the type of game it is - it's actually vital to separate yourself out from your character.

It comes down to something I've said a lot about so many things in fiction (but yeah, this does bleed into real life): are you able to accept a character who is not like you? Are you able to accept a character who might make wildly different choices than you would? Is your capacity to empathize or see a character as a person limited by them specifically hitting some demographic or philosophical targets you have constructed? Can you, even in a low risk, fictional environment, let yourself be different from how you are.

this seems very silly but I think I may have alluded to Justin McElroy talking about not being able to play fat characters in most games, and so he often just plays characters who do not look a thing like him. He often plays as a woman of color. (I don't recall where this came up? I think it might have been on an ancient polygon video or maybe commentary on one of the TAZ seasons? I'd love to find it again). And I think that's actually really great that this was his instinct. I don't want to diminish the importance of RPGs and TTRPGs for self-discovery; obviously it's been a place for many people to explore gender and sexuality, especially, and I do not want to take away the ability for someone to play as a woman in a game before you feel like you can live as a woman publicly in real life (and notably my issues with the BG3 and Inquisition player characters are not ones of gender/sex/race, ie, I think it is personality and background that might need to be more pre-determined). But yeah, if you cannot connect with characters who aren't like you that's a problem, and it does feel a little frustrating that we know that centering a self-insert OC type makes for a worse story and people still want that.

I've always been intrigued by pre-made sheets in TTRPGs where you are limited in some way, not in a dumb "oh my god you can't play a druid bc I'm a weird vindictive dude mad that your nature magic beats my weaponry" way but just as an exploration of having to walk a mile in other people's shoes and to be a person other than one that you created to exist within your comfort zone. Because a lot of people aren't Justin, and do play themselves or as close to it as they can, regardless of what is happening around them, and I think that is a mistake.

[zuko-always-lies]

hello, it seems like this page is dominated by Azula x girl ships, which is totally cool, I personally could see her with Ty Lee the most, but I was wondering if there are any thoughts on Azula x Sokka? Seeing as Sokka’s positive experiences with family could help Azula’s family trauma, and they are both incredibly smart and witty… just a thought. Please disregard me if you wish.

This is a question which deserves to be dealt with broadly. There actually aren't many reasonably prominent boys around Azula's age she can even potentially be shipped with. it's really only Haru, Teo, Jet, Zuko (note: I do not approve of Azula/Zuko, but I'll get back to that), Sokka, and Aang.

Teo and Haru do have significant appearances, but they receive almost no characterization, so there's not a strong reason to ship them with Azula.

Jet potentially makes a very interesting ship partner for Azula, simply because they have almost nothing in common yet perhaps share a certain drive and determination. However, it's a bit hard to imagine how they would even become lovers, and it's simply not a very popular ship.

For Zuko, even if we ignore the issue of incest, which is not a small issue at all, it's not a very attractive ship for me even from a theoretical perspective. Azula is a way more interesting character than Zuko, but one problem that she has is the everyone (the creators, the series, fanfic writers, fans, etc.) makes everything about her revolve around Zuko. Azula/Zuko as a ship perpetuates this tendency. Also, it involves Azula becoming emotionally dependent on another toxic guy from her family, which is something you'd hope she would grow out of. So yeah, I don't like Azula/Zuko due to the incest, but even ignoring that it doesn't seem particularly compelling to me.

Aang potentially makes a very interesting partner for Azula. They share so much. They're duty-driven prodigies who had an immense weight of expectations placed on them, they both love making mischief, they're both deeply ethical individuals, even if they're ethic systems are completely different, and Azula is even arguably one of the characters least inclined to resort violence in the series, just like Aang. Azula also left a scar on Aang's body when she killed him, so there's potentially a very odd sort of connection to explore. And Aang's compassion would be complex for Azula to experience and you can do a lot about how their cultures clash and combine. However, that being said, I have only very rarely seen an Azulaang fic I like. Common issues are

Putting Aang in a position of power over Azula

Making Azula's life resolve around serving Aang

Cutting Azula completely off from her connection to her nation

Softening Azula's character in a way that removes her canonical drive and ambition

Now we can finally talk about Sokka. The theoretical basis for Sokka/Azula is pretty strong. They're both warriors with daddy issues, they're both duty dedicated they both struggle to live up to their desired roles, they're both leaders, they're both highly intelligent, they're both sarcastic as hell, etc. The parallels just keep piling up. Azula is even one of the few characters to value nonbenders. There's a reason why this is the most popular Azula x male ship.

However, I have found that I don't tend to like Sokkla fics. Something feels off about them. I think part of the issue is that Sokka is a very hard character to write well, and he tends to feel a bit off to me whenever I see him in fanfiction. He's as silly and childish and idiotic and melodramatic as he is mature, intelligent, and dutiful. Also, it's easy to completely ignore his cultural background, but I think that background is critical to the character. Generally I've found that Sokkla fics tend to feel like they're about Azula much more than they're about Sokka, and it doesn't quite read right to me. And I guess in a certain way maybe Sokka and Azula are too similar for the ship to be truly compeling.

Anyways, those are just my personal opinions. Readers, please don't get mad because I don't like your ship.

[swaps55]

Reading your long fics, there's so much setup and payoff that has me thinking about how the story plays out for my Mass Effect universe. Which things bend, and which things break beyond repair, more tailored than the canon beats.

If you wanted a takeaway from your writing to be 'how to wound your characters in a way that makes the story really stick', it's working so well. It's so impressive how deftly you juggle the many characters while keeping the stakes and momentum charged.

Thank you!!!!! That means a lot to hear especially with this fic, given it is an absolute logistical nightmare. I work in constant fear that I am writing checks the story won't be able to cash. There are just too many characters in ME2 and too many siloed story lines that don't connect to a bigger throughline. It works fine in a video game, but in a linear format, ME2 is where narrative tension goes to die.

My approach to Mezzo has largely been:

Let game events that I don't have anything new or different to add fade into the background. (Like Freedom's progress, or Mordin's recruitment.)

Focus on characters who give me the most interesting perspectives on/relationships with Sam and determine what their primary drivers are. (For example, EDI and Jack.)

Find ways to connect those drivers to Sam's character regression/progression and somehow make a satisfying character arc for both. (Neither EDI nor Sam have a voice when it comes to their bodily autonomy and role with Cerberus; Jack and Sam both need to look outside themselves and their anger to heal).

Give characters reasons to talk to each other outside of Sam, for the love of god. (Miranda and Mordin, for instance.)

Set up all the weird shit I'm gonna do with ME3. [eyebrow wiggle]

Some of my beloved ME2 characters are going to get neglected in Mezzo because there just isn't room to do them the full justice they deserve, and some are going to play smaller roles because I just do not want to write a 300k story.

But it has been a tremendous amount of fun digging into characters like EDI, Jack, Garrus, Liara, Jacob, and Miranda in ways I haven't before. Mordin as a character already has a perfect arc in the game, but the biotic mystery I am setting up has been a really excellent way to involve one of my favorite characters of all time in a way that feels really satisfying.

Basically, the payoff for me personally while writing Mezzo has been extremely high and very rewarding, but clawing my way to finding those payoffs has already aged me ten years, lol. If it reads like it's deft and easy, that's great because it means the hard work has been worth it.

(this is so much more than you wanted to know, sorry. XD)

[omniblades-and-stars]

For Lucanis and Selae: 5, 9 and 17

Thank you for indulging me in avoiding work. Here's some information about these dunderheads.

5. Do they have different cultural backgrounds (e.g. a Rook who was raised in Antiva with Harding who was raised in Ferelden)? If so, do they ever share parts of their culture with each other? If they're similar, how do they celebrate their culture together?

Well Selae has lived in Antiva their whole life, and has very little connection with elven customs (city or otherwise). But they do enjoy many of Antivan customs. They love sitting with Lucanis to enjoy a nice, perfectly brewed, cup of coffee (with a dash of almond liqueur, another Antivan splash). They also enjoy wining and dining, and well, that suits Lucanis just fine.

And contrary to everything else about them, they do actually enjoy a grand ball or party. So of course, they're making Lucanis take them to the Satinalia celebrations every year.

9. Does your Rook bring them out often? How are they like on the battlefield? Do they banter much?

Selae takes Lucanis with them pretty frequently. It turns out that they work really well together on the battlefield. This is because they find a rhythm that matches, because they're reciting an old Crow rhyme in their heads as they fight.

They don't banter much, but occasionally one of them will shout a line from the rhyme when one of them gets a kill.

One for silence

Two for surprise

Three for good measure

Four's exercise

Five for a slaughter

Six for the thrill

Seven means more sovereigns

Eight marks the final kill

17. What is your Rook's favorite thing about their partner? What is the partner's favorite thing about Rook?

At first, the way Lucanis always checks on them, tries to feed them and is generally overwhelmingly concerned with their well-being is very confusing and off-putting to Selae. But once they get over their mistrust of the gestures, it very quickly becomes the thing that endears Lucanis to them the most. That and his eyes even though he looks like this 🫩 most of the time.

They're not arguing with a man with big, beautiful brown eyes. Whatever you say handsome.

I think Lucanis would really admire Selae's determination. They are very driven, and rarely if ever give in to despair (though they certainly feel it at times), even in spite (see what I did there) of everything that happens.

[scotianostra]

Scottish novelist and poet Naomi Mitchison was born in Edinburgh on November 1st in 1897.

Best known as a novelist and social commentator, but Naomi Mitchison also wrote and published poetry, much of which is rooted in her Scottish background.

Born to Louisa Kathleen Trotter and John Scott Haldane, a distinguished scientist based in Oxford, where Naomi Haldane grew up. The Scottish connection remained important throughout her childhood, and she spent many summers at Cloan in Perthshire, the Haldanes’ family home. Although her formal education was limited, she was steeped in an environment of scientific and creative enquiry which influenced her entire life.

Naomi married Dick Mitchison while he was on a short break from the Battlefields of Flanders in 1916, he was later injured in the war and it had a profound effect on the rest of his life and hers.

Both of them passionately wanted the post-war world to be a different and better place and were determined to do something about it, with explosive energy, Mitchison managed to write prolifically and variously; to work in the pioneer days at the North Kensington family planning clinic and for many other good causes. Her husband went into politics and she supported him and his socialist values wholeheartedly. He eventually went to the Lords and Naomi hated being called Lady Mitchison. The Mitchison house at Hammersmith was famous for its parties in happy or anxious times. The guest lists covered a wide spectrum from all walks of life, politicians, writers, lords, unknown proteges, refugees and strange lost foreigners from all over the world.

This generous style of hospitality continued at their Scottish home at Carradale in Argyll. The large house gathered in all kinds of waifs and strays among the famous and unreproached scroungers; and then the Mitchison grandchildren and great-grandchildren joined the mix. Naomi's wartime diary, Among You Taking Notes... , is a vivid description of that period, and of her own pivotal role in it.

She would go on to become a local councillor and member of the Highland Panel, which began the process of Highland regeneration, but in both roles she was frustrated by bureaucracy and apathy, you can imagine The Highlands in the 60's!

Mitchison was able to write anywhere, which helped because - as a compulsive traveller - she could get on with her writing on planes or in trains. She went to the US in the 1930s, because she was worried about tenant farmers rights; to Vienna in 1934 when the Nazi-era storm clouds gathered, and she smuggled letters from endangered people to Switzerland in her knickers. In 1952, she went to Moscow as a member of the Authors' World Peace Appeal. She went regularly to Africa, especially to Botswana, where she was made a sort of tribal mother to the Bakgatla people and helped them practically. Wherever she was in the world, she seemed to have an instinctive understanding of the country and people around her, a remarkable woman.

In later years, she was sometimes anxious and depressed - not for herself, but for the future. She often said that two wars in a lifetime were too many. She was totally opposed to nuclear weaponry and was fearful that science would destroy, rather than enrich, mankind.

In old age, she watched many of her generation die: but with great generosity of spirit she visited and comforted many of them to the end.

Naomi Mitchison spent the last years of her life at Carradale, where she died in January 1999 aged 101.

Kintyre

I wake when the wind changes. Beyond the dark Firth far, Where the waves clap and the tides rustle and the herring are, At the far side of the great Clyde the wind ranges. I wake as it changes.

If snow flew or mist blew East on the hills of Renfrew, Here, Arran sheltered, we might never know, Get no breath of sleet or hard snow, Until across the mountain ranges The wind backs and changes.

Clear starlight as sleep takes me, But a cloud creeps from the side. My dream no more ranges Through a universe at rest, But quick through the window wide, From Atlantic on the west Or from east beyond Clyde, Leaps anxious into my breast. I wake when the wind changes.

[snwlkr]

Fast & Furious - DomBri - Addicted to you

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Fast & Furious (Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences (Rated for featuring Heroin and withdrawal) Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 13,480 Relationships: Brian O'Conner/Dominic Toretto Characters: Brian O'Conner, Dominic Toretto, Vince (Fast and the Furious), Roman Pearce, Carter Verone Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Light Angst, Developing Relationship, Getting Together, Devotion, protective!Dom, Addict!Brian, Happy Ending, T-rated for featuring heroin and dealing with withdrawal as the main themes, Drug Withdrawal, Alternate Universe - Normal Life

Summary:

Dom and Vince lead a life of petty crime. One day at a friend's party, Dom meets Brian and falls head over heels in love. Even though Brian is struggling with heroin addiction, Dom is determined to take care of him and give him whatever he needs. Dom believes they can keep this going forever—until reality hits hard. After a house robbery lands the three of them in prison, Dom does his best to get Brian's doses but realizes he can't keep up with his needs anymore here. Now, he has to confront the tough truth he’s been avoiding for the past three years: Brian needs to get clean.

:::

Dom and Vince met during their first year of high school and quickly became inseparable best friends. They did everything together: skipping classes to drive cars and dirt bikes with their crew, shoplifting from stores, and spending nights partying and drinking.

As the years rolled on, their bad choices pulled them deeper into crime. What started as petty theft—snatching a few bucks' worth of stuff or someone's handbag—escalated into house robberies and car thefts. If they were lucky, they’d walk away with thousands. They made new friends who dragged them further down this path, and while the robberies were still small-time, they felt a twisted sense of pride in their exploits.

Mia, Dom's sister, started to notice the shift in her brother. Always the studious one with dreams of med school, she had worked hard to rise above their poor background. She wanted to pull Dom along with her, but he had lost his drive after their parents died when he was twelve. Living with their overwhelmed grandparents only added to his struggles.

Despite her own responsibilities, Mia tried to support Dom. She helped him study and even got Vince to crack a book for a while—though Dom knew that was just because Vince had a crush on her. Everyone in their class knew Vince had zero interest in schoolwork outside of class.

Dom’s car, his most treasured possession, was a last reminder of his father. People assumed the money Dom and Vince were stealing went into upgrades for their rides, but in reality, they were saving a portion of it—hidden under a broken wooden plank in Dom’s room—to help Mia with her education someday, even if she didn’t know it.

Life for Dom and Vince wasn’t ideal by any standard, but they thrived on the thrill of danger, easy money, and weekend parties. They were young and felt invincible.

One evening, they attended a party hosted by a friend of a friend. The crowd was filled with unfamiliar faces, but that didn’t matter. It was just like any other party—making new connections, having fun, drinking, and doing cocaine.

Some guys were glued to an NFL game on one TV, while others played a racing game Dom had never seen on another. Vince and Dom were racking up wins at the pool table, and a karaoke session was in full swing. Dom lost count of how many TVs were in the house. Outside, the swimming pool buzzed with people, laughter, and life. It was loud and joyful, and in that moment, they felt truly alive.

After winning their game, Vince headed off to grab a drink, saying he wanted to hit the pool. Dom considered following him but got distracted when he saw two guys stumbling out of the bathroom, laughing and making their way to a couch in the living room.

“Grab me a beer,” one of them called out, while the other headed for the kitchen. The first guy flopped onto the couch, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, looking like he was ready to doze off. Dom figured he must be pretty drunk; there was no way he could sleep with all this noise.

Feeling bold, Dom plopped down next to the guy with a big smile. “Hey, wanna smoke somethin’?”

The guy opened his hazy eyes and flashed a lazy grin. “Sure. I’m Brian.”

“Dom. Got something that'll get you buzzing nicely—I tried it yesterday. You’ll see,” Dom said confidently.

Brian leaned in closer, his head dropping onto Dom’s shoulder, looking almost pouty. “Nah, just wanna get stoned…”

Dom felt a bit sheepish. He usually stuck to stuff that energized him. Brian looked at him with those sleepy eyes and burst into giggles. Just then, two guys finished their race on the game Dom still couldn’t name, and Brian’s attention snapped to the screen, quickly forgetting their conversation. “Wanna play? Come on!”

Brian took Dom’s hand, leading him to the floor near the TV. Dom had never been great at video games, but driving in real life was a blast—how hard could it be on a screen? Well, he quickly learned it was a lot harder than he thought. The good news was that Brian was so much worse than him that he didn’t feel like he embarrassed himself in front of him.

“Bri, you’re just terrible at this!” Roman laughed, having easily finished first.

Brian looked both focused and confused, and it was honestly funny to watch. As he fumbled with the controls, the car on-screen swerved wildly, crashing into barriers and veering off track. “The car’s just not doing what I want it to do…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a danger on the road—real or fake cars,” Roman teased, bumping Brian with his elbow.

That caught Dom's attention. “Real cars?”

Brian surrendered the controller to Roman, frustrated that the car wouldn’t turn the right way. He turned to Dom with a dreamy smile. “I love driving.”

The guy who had been with Brian before, Tej, joined them with two beers, handing one to Brian before taking a seat next to him. He looked just as out of it as Brian, his voice slow. “Let me correct that—he loves cars and knows a ton about them. He could put you to sleep just talking about them for hours. But don’t let him behind the wheel, or you can kiss your car goodbye…”

Brian pouted. “That only happened once…”

“Three times. In a year. And one of those cars was my mom’s,” Roman said, raising an eyebrow and looking like a scolding dad, which only made Brian giggle again.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?” Roman smirked, inching closer to Brian. In a flash, Brian tried to scramble away, but he ended up spilling his beer everywhere and bumping into Dom’s knee. Dom caught him just in time to prevent a full fall.

Brian clung to Dom like his life depended on it—too late for it to be useful, really—and chuckled, “Thank you!”

“Wait, don’t move,” Dom said, swiftly taking off his thick jacket and laying it on the ground for Brian to sit on, making sure it covered the beer spills so Brian wouldn’t get any wetter than he already was.

Brian attempted to drink, but with most of his beer gone, it took him two tries to manage it. By the time he succeeded, his can was empty. He looked a bit disappointed, and Dom smiled. “Want me to get you a new one?”

Brian blinked and shot him a big smile. “Sure!”

“Just don’t spill this one, okay?” Roman chimed in, and Brian stuck out his tongue playfully. “That was your fault,” he replied gently.

When Dom stood up, Brian tried to get up as well. Dom caught his hand. “Stay here,” he told him, watching as Brian looked confused.

“But I want to come with you,” Brian insisted, rising with Dom’s help.

“I don’t like sleeping on the ground. I prefer pillows…” Brian mumbled as they made their way to the kitchen, and Dom wasn’t quite sure what he meant.

“You tired? Want to find a room upstairs?” Dom asked, feeling a twinge of sadness at the thought of Brian leaving him already, but it was clear he needed a quiet place to rest.

Brian blinked at him. “Yeah. But no. I’m happy I found you. Wanna go outside?”

With that, Brian took Dom’s hand again, forgetting all about the spilled beer. Brian was stumbling, his coordination still shaky, and Dom found himself guiding him outside with a smile on his face. “No more beers for you tonight, I think.”

Brian frowned. “Why? I only drank two… One and a half, I guess?”

Dom scoffed, suspecting it was more than that, but he kept his mouth shut. He spotted Vince having a blast with Han in the pool, both of them laughing and trying to dunk each other.

“Hey, Dom! Come on, the water’s nice!” Vince called out when he noticed them.

Dom turned to Brian, unsure if swimming was a good idea in his current state. Brian confirmed his doubts by slowly shaking his head. “Can’t. No cars, no water, Roman said. I love both. But can’t.” He then looked at Dom. “I’ll stay here; you go swim.”

Brian settled at the edge of the pool, waving at Han.

“Hey Bri, how you doing?” Han asked, his voice calmer than it had been with Vince a moment ago.

“Goood. Met Dom. He’s nice,” Brian said, gesturing lazily toward Dom, who was still standing beside him.

Han smiled at Brian. “Yeah, he’s nice, right? I’ve known him for a few months. Remember when I told you we had to drive away from the cops? It was with Dom and Vince, right here.”

Dom sat down next to Brian, taking off his socks and shoes to dip his feet in the water. Swimming looked inviting, but he didn’t want to leave Brian alone.

Brian turned to Dom, his eyes wide with curiosity. “So you were the driver?”

Dom felt a swell of pride at Brian's interest but tried to keep it in check. “Yeah. They almost caught us, but I’ve been driving for so long; I knew I could shake them.”

“There were three police cars, Han said,” Brian replied, blinking slowly, his voice filled with admiration. It was getting harder for Dom not to boast even more.

Han scoffed, clearly reading Dom’s expression. “Dude, brag all you want. He’s in no condition to chase cars, but he used to be an amazing driver. Just tell him everything.”

Dom hesitated, curious about why Brian had stopped driving, but he didn’t pry, and he was too happy to share his stories, maybe embellishing a few details along the way.

When Brian asked about the gears in his car, Dom lit up, enjoying every moment, while Han and Vince rolled their eyes in amusement.

“Aaand we lost him,” Vince joked, although he was just as passionate about his bike, so he couldn’t complain too much.

Despite Brian’s drowsiness, he occasionally offered surprisingly insightful comments about cars, proving to Dom that he wasn’t the only car enthusiast around. Maybe Brian just had a reckless streak? Dom couldn’t help but think that he might convince him to ride along as a passenger sometime.

As Brian attempted to remove his shoes and socks too, it became clear he was struggling. After watching him for a moment, Dom helped him out, and soon Brian had his feet in the water, lying back. Dom mirrored him, enjoying the coolness of the grass beneath them.

They continued to talk, and Dom loved turning to see Brian already looking at him. Sometimes, Brian seemed lost in thought, but other times, he would smile brightly at Dom, making it hard not to grow attached to him.

Dom was thrilled with how the evening was unfolding. He found someone who shared his passion for cars, someone who was easygoing and kind. The way Brian giggled made Dom feel warm inside, and he hoped their newfound friendship would last.

Two hours later, he had brought a lethargic Brian upstairs, who flopped onto the bed, face down, ready for sleep.

When Dom returned downstairs, he spotted Roman stirring Tej, who had fallen asleep on the couch. Dom approached him. “I put Brian in the first room on the left.”

“Alright,” Roman replied, but then stopped, letting go of Tej slowly just before Dom walked away to join Vince, who was in the middle of a beer pong game. “Wait, Dom.”

Dom turned back, noticing Roman’s serious expression. He might have scoffed at it under normal circumstances, but when Roman mentioned Brian, his mood shifted instantly.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get too close to him, alright…?” Roman said, his tone grave.

Dom’s heart sank a little, trying to wrap his head around the conversation. Brian had told him that Roman and he had been roommates before, and it had surprised him that he had never met Brian during the time he'd known Roman.

“Why?” Dom asked, trying to keep his tone neutral, but he could hear the edge creeping in, a hint of defiance. He took a breath to calm himself. “He seems pretty chill. Does he have a Rottweiler ready to bite anyone out of jealousy or something?”

He hoped not.

Roman sighed heavily. “He is chill, but you might never see it for real. Look, stick to cocaine and ecstasy on weekends, that’s all fine, but don’t go digging into his or Tej’s stuff, alright? Heroin is no joke. You don’t want to go down that road, I promise you. Don’t think that just because he does it, you can too, and that you’ll be able to stop whenever you want.”

Dom blinked, taken aback. He had assumed Brian was just a bit drunk, but maybe his incoordination and slow responses were tied to something more serious. Brian had seemed coherent enough during their car conversations, even showing genuine passion despite his drowsiness.

Roman continued, “I’m not your dad. You do you, but this is my advice. Don’t touch that shit. His entire day revolves around his doses. It costs money. He might seem functional a lot of the time, but that doesn’t mean he is.”

Dom nodded slowly, absorbing the weight of Roman’s words. “Alright, I won’t.”

Roman placed a hand on Dom’s shoulder, squeezing it gently and offering a sad smile before turning his attention back to Tej, who he planned to help upstairs.

Truth be told, Dom didn’t know much about drugs. He had always followed whatever the people around him were doing, often thinking, If they can, surely I can too. He recognized that mindset was foolish, but a part of him trusted these guys—they were the ones he was stealing with, the ones orchestrating their reckless adventures.

As time passed, Dom saw Brian more frequently at parties. The first time he saw Brian sniff something, he thought it was just a small quantity, finding it a bit odd. It didn’t click until later that it wasn’t cocaine.

Gradually, he started seeing Brian outside of parties, usually at Roman’s house. He witnessed Brian both sniffing and injecting heroin, living his life exactly as Roman had described—timing his entire day around his doses, especially on days they had robberies. Brian couldn’t afford to be completely lethargic during those times; he needed to be alert and responsive. And he needed the money.

Dom observed the grip heroin had on Brian, the way it altered him, and it left a knot of unease in his stomach.

Dom had watched Brian plead for money when the heist—the cash from it—wasn’t scheduled for a few more days. He had seen him spend his days drinking coffee, knowing he wouldn’t get his dose on time, and he watched as Brian grew agitated and anxious, succumbing to nausea and looking sickly. It was distressing to see him in that state, especially knowing it hadn’t even been nine hours since his last dose.

That was the day Dom made a decision that would change everything. He went out and bought heroin for Brian, paying for it out of his own pocket. If Roman had known, he would have declared that the day Dom had doomed himself, but Dom felt a rush of relief when he saw Brian’s mood shift, his happiness returning.

And that was the day Brian kissed him, and Dom kissed him back. Brian was staying at Roman’s house, so Dom had spent the day there too. In the evening, they and a few other guys were sprawled on the couches, watching a movie while Brian slowly drifted off, his head resting on Dom's thighs. As Dom gently caressed Brian’s hair, he couldn’t shake the feeling that, to an addict, only the drug truly mattered. Roman would have said that Dom was just part of the noise, but in that moment, he didn’t care.

Months went by, and while Dom never fell into heroin himself, he did fall in love with Brian. He made sure that if Brian couldn’t afford his fix, he would cover the cost.

It didn’t take long for Dom to learn that neither Brian nor Tej had a permanent place to stay. They often crashed at friends' houses. Everything Brian owned could fit into a single backpack, as all his money went to heroin. So, Dom left his grandparents’ house to get an apartment, inviting Brian to stay with him as much as possible. He couldn’t bear to see Brian go through withdrawal again.

Even when Brian fell asleep near Dom, Dom would always wake up alone. Nighttime was too long, and Brian’s cravings would kick in before dawn. He often found Brian in the morning in whatever room he had used for his dose, sometimes even on the cold bathroom floor.

Dom would carry him to the couch, keeping him close while he brewed his coffee and made breakfast. Depending on the timing, he’d encourage Brian to eat a little, knowing that stomach discomfort and nausea were common due to his drug use. Dom needed to make sure Brian was in good enough shape to avoid choking.

When Dom first met Brian, he had been quite skinny, and he took it upon himself to ensure Brian ate more regularly.

He hadn’t planned on telling anyone about their situation, but Vince wasn’t blind. More often than not, when he came over unannounced, Brian would be asleep on the couch or simply at home, happy to see Vince and engage with him.

Vince noticed Dom’s affectionate attitude toward Brian. Dom was glued to him, always ensuring he was okay, while Brian often rested his head on Dom’s shoulder or held his hand.

One day, when Brian was completely out of it, Vince confronted Dom. “Tell me something. You didn’t catch feelings for him, right?”

Dom’s sheepish expression told Vince everything he needed to know, confirming all of his fears. “Dom, for Christ’s sake. Yeah, he’s nice, and on rare occasions more upbeat than I imagined he could be, given his usual state. Yes, he’s becoming my friend too. But you’re not using your money for him, right? Letting him crash in your apartment is one thing, but you don’t buy him anything, right?”

Dom felt cornered. Maybe he was a damn fool for thinking he could handle this, but he sure as hell thought he could.

Roman frowned when he caught wind of the situation. “I told you to be careful around him, Dom…”

Dom shrugged, trying to remain composed. “I’ve never touched heroin, and I don’t plan to. I’m just making sure he’s alright.”

He had established that his job was to take care of Brian, which meant being responsible with his money and avoiding any addiction himself. He had limited his intake to a bit of alcohol, never enough to get drunk, ensuring he remained in control.

A part of Roman appreciated that, and he pulled Dom into a hug. “Just don’t get burned too.”

Dom’s life had become intertwined with Brian’s, revolving around him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. At the time, it made sense to him that providing Brian with his doses was a way to make him happy and feel useful. He believed that by consciously avoiding drugs himself and taking care of Brian, he was maturing, stepping into the role of a responsible adult—even if that adult life included criminal activities to fund their existence.

Brian was still working with their crew, paying for most of his needs, which mostly consisted of drugs and a bit of food. He didn’t care much for clothes or anything else, and Dom allowed him to stay without paying rent or bills.

Dom thought this arrangement could last forever. They were doing alright, and every time Brian kissed him after receiving his dose, it felt like validation. It had to mean something, right? It had to mean he was doing things correctly.

There were moments when Brian would experience blissful clarity, and Dom clung to those times, cherishing the laughter and connection they shared.

Mia was worried when she came to visit Dom. She feared her brother might fall into a pit from which he could never climb back out. But Dom always reassured her, insisting he was doing just fine.

Mia liked Brian for the most part, but she disliked the rare times she saw him in withdrawal. During those moments, he became restless, consumed by thoughts of his next fix. It pained Mia to witness that, and when she suggested that it would be better for Brian to rid himself of drugs entirely, Dom felt a cold fear wash over him.

“He can’t,” he insisted. “There’s still time, and it isn’t that bad.”, “Brian is rarely in a bad mood.”, “I don’t want him to go through withdrawal, it’s better this way.”

Dom never even tried to discuss the possibility of quitting with Brian. The thought terrified him, and he pushed it aside, convincing himself that as long as he was there for Brian, everything would be okay. But deep down, he knew that their fragile balance could shatter at any moment.

Dom was terrified that if he tried to make Brian quit heroin, he would lose him for good. The thought of Brian going through withdrawal was unbearable. Dom knew it would be a painful and suffering experience, and if he were the one pushing for it, Brian would likely hate him. He didn’t have the strength to endure that kind of turmoil; they were okay for now, and he wanted to keep it that way.

In his mind, he felt mature and capable of handling the situation indefinitely. But everything changed one day during a heist when they got caught—Dom, Vince, Brian, and two others.

Dom knew it was Brian’s fault. His focus had been off, driven by a craving for bigger doses. He wasn’t as patient as usual, and he messed up his part of the plan. Dom didn’t say anything to anyone, not even to Vince. He trusted that Vince wouldn’t bring it up, knowing he cared about Brian and felt a bit sad for him. But Dom couldn’t shake the anxiety that someone might overhear or that Vince might mention it as a funny story in a few years. A secret was only safe if it was kept by one person.

Brian was so out of it that Dom was certain he wasn’t even aware it was his fault.

They ended up in prison, and Dom was frantic about Brian’s well-being. He paid a substantial amount to ensure they shared a cell, and luckily, his money didn’t go to waste. They separated the other two guys into a different unit, leaving Dom, Vince, and Brian together.

Dom felt a wave of relief wash over him. He didn’t want Brian near anyone else while he was lethargic, unresponsive, and weak.

Soon enough, Dom realized he needed a way to get heroin. That’s when he met Verone. Dom still had some money, and he was willing to engage in any sort of contraband or shady job to secure Brian’s fix.

He felt ashamed, but almost all the money Mia sent him each month went toward Brian’s needs. He meticulously noted every cent, promising himself he would repay her every penny.

As time passed, Dom burned through all his cash and Brian’s, and Mia’s contributions weren’t enough. Thanks to his build, Verone easily found tasks for him to do in exchange for heroin.

Dom didn’t want to get involved in gang wars, but he found himself doing a bit of dirty work for Verone. He quickly realized that the tasks were far from pleasant. Protecting was one thing; killing or inflicting violence was another.

Dom preferred stealing cars and breaking into houses to having blood on his hands, but he wouldn’t stop. As long as Brian needed him to get his fix, he was determined to keep going. Brian’s happiness was all that mattered. The way Brian looked at him, thanking him, made Dom feel like he was Brian’s entire world, fueling his resolve to continue.

Dom never mentioned any of this to Brian, and Brian was often too out of it to notice. He had picked up on Dom’s changes in behavior and new acquaintances, but as long as Dom stayed silent, Brian didn’t pry, too content to receive his gear.

Dom kept pushing forward, trapped in a cycle that tightened around him with each passing day, all for the sake of the one person who meant everything to him.

One day, Dom found himself in a frantic state, desperately trying to hide the evidence of violence while wiping away the blood that stained his hands. It hit him hard then: it had been easier to take care of Brian outside of prison, but inside, the stakes were higher. Each time he ventured into this dangerous world, he feared something terrible would happen, leaving Brian alone and vulnerable.

But he couldn’t give up—he had no other solution.

When he returned to the cell, he found Brian lying on the bed, looking worse than ever. It was the first time he had spent so long without it, and he had thrown up, sweat glistening on his skin.

“Dom… my whole body hurts…” Brian murmured weakly.

“I know, I’ve got it, it’s okay. Just hang in there,” Dom replied, trying to soothe him despite the turmoil in his own mind.

Dom had managed to stay lucky so far, but he knew the risks were mounting. He wanted to believe that if he hadn’t been caught yet, he wouldn’t be. But that’s exactly what he had thought before, and now here they were.

He held Brian tightly, feeling the warmth of his body against his. As the drug kicked in, Brian lifted his head, his eyes momentarily sparkling with life. “Why do you have red stuff on your bracelet? Is that blood...? You’re not putting your life in danger for me, right?”

Dom’s heart broke a little at the question. He hadn’t told Brian anything about the lengths he was going to, and he didn’t plan on starting now. He brushed his fingers through Brian’s hair affectionately. “Of course not, baby. Everything’s fine.”

On the other hand, Vince wasn’t blinded by anything and quickly caught on to Dom’s odd behavior and associations. One day, while Brian dozed off on the bed, Vince turned to Dom, concern etched on his face.

“I get that you have to deal with Verone; I think it’s stupid, but I get it. But what the hell, Dom? What kind of shady business are you getting into? You won’t get out of it alive.”

“I will,” Dom replied, his voice steadier than he felt inside.

“No! For Christ’s sake, Dom, stop acting like this! Don’t you understand? You say you love him, but look at the state he’s in! He’s so disconnected; he’s in permanent danger from everybody here! He can’t defend himself,” Vince snapped, leaning closer to Brian and pushing him a bit too forcefully for Dom’s liking. Brian didn’t react.

“Vince—” Dom started, but Vince shot him a dark look.

Dom winced, feeling the weight of Vince’s words. “I can’t do anything about it. He needs it. I’ll always be here to protect him—”

Vince stood up, placing a hand firmly on Dom’s shoulder. “No, you won’t. Dom, he’s getting worse and worse.”

“He’s not! It’s just harder to get my hands on—”

“He’s asking for more and more over time. You can’t keep up like this. What if one day Mia can’t send you money? We both don’t have anything more outside of here. Or do you want to ask Mia to go dig under your floor? For her money?”

This time, Dom couldn’t hide the doubts and fears creeping into his expression. “I can’t give up on him,” he said, his voice breaking, making Vince’s gaze soften with empathy.

“I know, and that’s not what I’m asking you to do. I don’t want to give up on him either. I may not be as close to him as you are, but I’ve grown to like him too, you know? But you have to make him stop.”

Dom felt a wave of despair wash over him. The thought of taking that step was terrifying. “He can’t—”

“Stop. Stop saying that. Yes, he can. You just have to make the decision.”

Dom shook his head, panic rising within him. “He’s going to hate me—”

“Are you really ready to lose him? And by lose him, I mean something bad happening to him, all just so he doesn't hate you? You need to stop trying to be his savior. For once in your damn life, actually be his savior.”

Dom looked down at the ground, feeling utterly lost. “He’s never going to agree to accept medical help from prison. They can’t do it without his consent—”

“I know. You might be foolish enough to end up in this situation, but I know him just as well as you do. But I’m not talking about him having a choice here—he doesn’t want to get out of it the easy way? Then do it the hard way.”

“Are you crazy? You want him to go through complete withdrawal?”

“Yup. Cold turkey. It’ll last a week—yes, it’s going to be a very painful week for him. But once the effects disappear, you’ll just have to make sure he stays away from it. Have you ever known him not under the influence of heroin or not in withdrawal? If you refuse to step out of his life, then go all in. Make him finally be free from this stupid drug.”

Dom’s heart raced. He didn’t want Brian to stay on heroin forever, but he loved the way Brian looked at him as if he were the only person in the world, as if he were the most important one, whenever he brought him his gear.

But that was unhealthy. Brian’s sparkly eyes were a product of the heroin. If Dom returned empty-handed, that light would fade, and Brian would likely turn away from him. The only thing that mattered to Brian was his drug, no matter how Dom wanted to believe otherwise.

Dom had grown so accustomed to taking care of Brian, or at least that’s how he framed it. The truth was he had become used to providing him with what he wanted. By accepting all of this, Dom only compounded the problem. He wanted Brian to look at him without expecting anything in return.

He had fallen in love with Brian so quickly and naturally that he had never questioned the need to be there for him, to give him what he wanted.

When they were still outside of prison, Brian had often bought his gear himself. What Brian wanted from Dom was simple: to spend time together, talk about cars—at least as much as his mind could manage—and enjoy life’s little moments, despite his often-foggy focus.

Now, Dom felt like nothing more than a provider for Brian’s needs, and those needs didn’t include him.

The realization hit him hard. He couldn’t continue this way, trapped in a cycle where Brian’s happiness was tied solely to the drugs. If Dom wanted to be truly there for Brian, he had to make the hardest choice of all: to take away the very thing that still made him useful to Brian.

But the thought filled him with dread. What if Brian hated him? What if he pushed him away for good? The fear of losing Brian, of watching him suffer, weighed heavily on Dom’s heart.

He felt a profound need for Brian, a dependency that sometimes felt as intense as Brian's need for heroin. By giving Brian what he wanted, Dom felt useful, like he deserved his love and attention.

But now, as he looked at Brian, completely out of it, the weight of Vince's words pressed heavily on his mind. Dom loved Brian, and if that meant doing what was best for him—even if it meant Brian would hate him, and Dom would feel crushed by that rejection—then he had to act. It was time to confront the truth he had been postponing due to fear.

He agreed with Vince; he had taken the easy route for too long.

A few hours later, when Brian looked at him expectantly, Dom gently caressed his hair. Brian's eyes darted between Dom’s face and his hands, waiting for the familiar dose.

“Bri, I think you should stop,” Dom said, bracing himself for the backlash.

Brian blinked slowly, confusion clouding his features. “Stop what…?”

“Don’t you want to be free again? Finally have your mind clear—”

Brian’s expression shifted as he processed Dom's words. In a sudden burst of frustration, he struck Dom’s torso with his hand. “Don’t joke about that! Give me my gear! Dom!”

“I don’t have any,” Dom replied, his heart racing.

Brian's eyes widened in panic. “Wh—How could you—”

“Bri—”

But Brian had already lost interest in what Dom was trying to say and began to lift himself from the bed, groggy but determined to find Verone.

Dom caught his arm. “Brian. The medical staff can help you. They’ll give you substitutes—”

Brian wrenched his arm away, losing his balance. Dom caught him before he fell, but Brian shoved him back again.

“I don’t want your stupid methadone!! I don’t trust them!! I won’t allow them to kill me!”

“Brian, they won’t—”

“Yes, they will!! And I don’t trust you anymore, you traitor! You all want to get rid of me! I’ll get whatever I want by myself!”

“No, you won’t.” Dom firmly shoved Brian back onto the bed.

Using his strength, which had often helped him in confrontations, Dom found it easy to restrain Brian in his weakened state. But Brian’s panic escalated, and he began to scream, feeling trapped. “I hate you!”

Brian’s eyes were wild with fear and resentment, and Dom closed his eyes, trying to hold back his tears. “I promise you it will be okay soon…”

“How can it be okay…?” Brian's voice broke, and Dom could hear the sobs starting to escape, and he felt his heart shatter at Brian’s pain.

Desperate to comfort him, Dom reached out to touch Brian's shoulder, but Brian instinctively pushed him away once again.

Brian didn’t sleep that night, turning restlessly, filled with anger, tears, and sweat. He refused Dom’s help, pushing him away every time Dom tried to approach. When Dom had thought Brian was choking, he reached out, but Brian avoided him, eventually collapsing in the corner of the room instead of returning to the bed. Dom settled on the ground beside him, feeling helpless.

By morning, Brian was violently vomiting, unable to stop even when his stomach was empty. His body was fighting against him, and he didn’t even make it to the toilet, feeling dizzy and on the verge of passing out. Dom worried about Brian becoming severely dehydrated, with all the sweating and the rejection of everything.

“Get away from me, you asshole! I fucking hate you!” Brian screamed as Dom approached with water.

After yet another round of heaving, Brian finally turned to Dom, desperation in his eyes, and Dom approached slowly. Brian tried to gulp down water, but Dom made him take small sips, knowing how fragile he was. Brian shivered uncontrollably, and Dom held the paper cup steady for him, wishing he could do more.

Everything Brian touched seemed to hurt him. He spent the full day acting erratically, trying to escape the discomfort of his own body.

As the second day dawned, a CO arrived at their cell, and Brian immediately panicked, fearing they would take him away. The CO had to report on Brian’s condition to the medical staff, but Brian’s instinct was to scream at them, refusing to let them near him.

“We’ll manage,” Dom said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. It was a phrase he had repeated often recently, but it felt increasingly hollow.

The next day, the CO and medical staff returned for another assessment. Brian broke down in tears.

“It’s just a health assessment, Mr. O’Conner. I know you hate being monitored, but remember, you’ve done this before. Nothing bad happened. We just need to check on you.”

Dom watched Brian disappear, anxiety gnawing at him. A part of him hoped the medical staff would convince Brian because they would manage his withdrawal better than Dom could. They would do it slowly and carefully. But he also knew they couldn’t force Brian if he refused.

When Brian returned, he crawled under the blanket, ignoring Dom completely for the rest of the evening. Dom wanted to be there for him, to reassure him that the worst would soon pass. The peak of withdrawal would be over soon, and while cravings would linger, the physical dependence would start to fade.

With Vince’s help, they kept a watchful eye on Brian. They did what they could to support him during this difficult time, hoping that their presence could offer at least a little comfort.

But of course, just like a child who wanders off when you look away for a second, Brian disappeared when Dom was momentarily distracted by another inmate. Dom knew exactly where to find him and quickly caught up, discovering Brian begging Verone in his cell.

“I need it, give me some! I’ll do whatever Dom was doing in exchange, just give me—”

Dom rushed over, grabbing Brian’s arm to pull him up. “Brian, I beg you, it won't last long before you feel okay again—”

“I won't last long, you mean!” Brian shouted, pushing Dom away and turning back to Verone. Dom tightened his grip on Brian's wrist, determined not to let him slip away again.

“I swear to God, if you give him anything, if he gets his hands on any drugs, you’re declaring war,” Dom warned Verone, his voice low and menacing.

Verone remained unfazed. “I can’t control every drug circulating around here. People are free to do what they want.”

“Then spread the word. Tell your minions and buyers—I don’t care. The one who gives him anything is a dead man.”

Brian struggled to break free. “I fucking hate you! I need it, Dom, I need—” His voice cracked, and tears streamed down his cheeks.

Dom pulled him into a tight embrace, feeling Brian's desperation radiate off him. “Stop trying to control me! I’m not your slave!” Brian protested, his voice broken.

“No, you're not. You're your addiction's slave, and that’s the only thing truly controlling you. I know it’s hard, but you lived without it before, so you can do it again.”

Verone smirked, watching the scene unfold. “You were a good client, what happened? Bored of seeing him lifeless?”

Dom shot him a furious glare, but Verone raised a hand in a gesture of peace. “Hey, you do you. But remember, an addict will always find a way. If you really don’t want him to touch anything, don’t let him wander around.”

Dom winced. “It won’t happen again,” He finally replied, leading Brian back to their cell with a firm grip.

Dom was aware of the rumors swirling around them—some close to the truth, like how Brian had always been an addict and Dom had been a blind fool losing money on him. Others were more hurtful, claiming Dom was giving Brian drugs on purpose to maintain control over him. Some even suggested it was Dom who forced the drugs into Brian’s system. He had to bite his tongue, resisting the urge to lash out at those who spread such lies, knowing that a fight would only land him in solitary, leaving Brian all alone.

But he made a mental note of their faces. Someday, without witnesses, he would settle the score. He had never claimed to be a good guy, after all.

Once back in their cell, Dom felt a flicker of hope as he noticed Brian seemed more compliant. That hope was quickly dashed when Brian suddenly bit down hard on Dom’s shoulder, forcing him to release his grip.

“Fuck, Bri!” Dom exclaimed, letting him go as Brian crawled onto the bed.

“I feel like I'm going crazy... It hurts everywhere, my brain is killing me, I feel so bad…” Brian’s voice trembled, his body shaking.

“We can still go to the prison’s medical center—” Dom started, trying to offer a solution.

“I don’t trust them…”

“They’re here to help you—”

“I don’t want help… Just leave me alone… I just want to die…”

Dom closed his eyes, feeling the weight of despair settle in his chest. When he opened them again, he lay down behind Brian on the bed, bracing for the usual push away. But when Brian didn’t move, Dom took the chance to wrap his arm around him, holding him tightly.

“Hold on a bit longer. It won't last long, I promise. You’re almost through the worst of it. Think about how free you’ll be in a few days. I know it’s hard, but we couldn’t continue like this. You would have ended up miserable... And I want to see you healthy… I love you...”

“I hate you,” Brian replied, his voice steady and unwavering, sending a jolt through Dom’s heart.

“I know...” Dom answered, feeling a lump form in his throat. “Come on, try to sleep a bit.”

Brian’s body was feverish, drenched in cold sweat, and Dom couldn’t help but wonder how he had managed to wander so far from their cell. He knew, given how Brian felt physically and mentally, that sleep wouldn’t come easily.

But he had allowed Dom to hold him, and despite his own exhaustion, the warmth of Brian in his arms gave him the strength to keep going.

Days passed, and with Vince’s help, they managed to keep a close watch on Brian throughout the week. Now, on the tenth day, the withdrawal symptoms had almost completely subsided, but they both knew the battle was far from over.

Dom sat on the bed with Brian asleep in his arms. It had been hard for Brian to find rest, but after those grueling days, his anxiety and mood swings had begun to settle, allowing him to finally sleep soundly.

Vince joined them, sitting nearby. “You know it won’t be easy, right? We’ll have to make sure nothing triggers his cravings. No stress, no emotionally charged situations, nothing that could set him off.”

“I’ll stay with him. I’ll do anything to reduce the risk of relapse.” Dom kissed the top of Brian’s head, feeling a surge of determination.

“It won't be easy here. He knows where the drugs are, and he’ll see them right in front of him. This place is too small.”

“Yeah, well, it was your idea to help him through this here. So you’d better watch over him too.”

Vince rolled his eyes. “And I will, but this wouldn’t have happened if you had tried to make him stop earlier. Both Mia and I told you it was obvious Brian wouldn’t try that on his own, and that you had to make him. It was the best solution, just not the best timing. But we’ll manage.”

“We will. Once we’re out of here, we can’t go back to our previous place. And by that, I mean town,” Dom said, his tone serious.

“You want to turn the page on our past?” Vince asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You don’t have to come if you’d rather stay in LA. But I can’t let Brian see Tej again; I can’t take that chance…”

“Hey, I’m all for new beginnings. What would you do without me, anyway? You think you’re so mature, but you’re mostly just blessed that Mia’s your sister and I’m the best best friend you could ever have asked for.”

Dom smirked, wanting to tease him, but then his smile softened into something more genuine. Vince was right, after all. “Thank you. I don’t know if I would have had the strength without you.”

“No prob. You know what would be nice for him? A routine or something. Like a coping strategy, rules to obey—whatever keeps him occupied. There’s not much to do in prison, but we could go outside in the morning, work a bit, make him play. I was used to his sun-kissed skin, but he looks like Tim Burton’s skeleton thingy now.”

Dom chuckled. “Yeah. It feels like he hasn’t seen the sun in a year. We’ll also go to the library, give him a quota to read and everything.”

Vince nodded enthusiastically. “Yup. You’ll see, we’ll manage just fine. Then, we’ll get the hell out of here and find the most pleasant little town in the whole States where they don’t even know what heroin is.”

“Somewhere in Utah, right?” Dom asked, a playful glint in his eyes.

Vince smirked. “Somewhere in Utah. There are beautiful sights to visit, too.”

“Brian will miss the ocean, though.”

“Meh, a lake is like a small ocean… if you squint enough, I guess?” Vince quipped.

Dom scoffed, shaking his head. It was time for Vince to head back to his cell; the day was winding down, and sleep was on the horizon.

Dom carefully tried to lay Brian down without waking him. But as he shifted, Brian slowly blinked and stirred. Dom gently placed him on the pillow and then lay down close to him, caressing his hair to help him drift back to sleep. After a few more blinks, Brian turned toward him and snuggled in, ready to fall back asleep. Dom smiled, warmth flooding his heart.

Brian's first moments of clarity without pain were a joy for Dom to witness. His cravings were weaker now, the physical pain gone, and his anxiety had dissipated. Slowly but surely, his mind was clearing up. Still tired from everything he’d been through, he craved comfort more than anything.

He wasn’t talking much yet, still adjusting to life around him. It felt like discovering a whole new world—he recognized the other inmates, but he only really knew Dom and Vince. He could spot those who had supplied Dom with heroin and a few others whose cells were nearby, but he didn’t remember their names. He had never cared enough to remember.

Sometimes his cravings hit hard. At first, he thought about hiding them, crawling under the blanket, feeling ashamed and alone. But Dom quickly noticed and came to him.

"I’ll always be here when you need me. If you ever feel like using, just come to me," Dom said in his most reassuring voice, gently stroking Brian's cheek over and over until Brian finally drifted off to sleep.

It became a habit for Brian—whenever his cravings threatened to take control, he would seek out Dom's comfort.

Dom had always known Brian to be easy-going, docile, and avoiding conflict. Sometimes he had seemed apathetic; other times, anxious and stressed. But as the days went by, the drug no longer overshadowed his personality, and Brian was emerging from the haze that had consumed him for so long, slowly revealing a side of himself that felt more lively, spontaneous, and curious. Most of his clumsiness had faded—he was still less careful than someone like Dom, but he was now aware of his surroundings, and it showed.

He was expressing a wider range of emotions than the Brian Dom had always known. His laid-back attitude, easy smiles, and genuine kindness hadn’t changed, but he was more talkative, sharing thoughts and opinions that flowed effortlessly, and he was truly listening—his open-mindedness and accommodating nature weren’t due to drowsiness or disinterest, like before, but because that was who he truly was. Dom remembered what Roman had said about the real Brian being chill, and it seemed Roman had been right.

Brian was no longer a shadow of himself, and Dom adored seeing him become so vibrant. This was a Brian that Dom could imagine driving and racing, and the thought excited him. He could picture Brian behind the wheel, finally rid of the weight that the drug had always imposed on him. The idea of Brian embracing life fully filled Dom with joy.

As the second week came to a close, Dom and Vince had established a routine. At first, Brian approached it with reluctance, uneasy about confronting the world so quickly. But he had begun to enjoy their time outside, borrowing books to read under the sun while Dom sat on the grass nearby.

Today, Dom had brought a book too but found himself restless. He glanced over at Brian, who was engrossed in a novel, and Dom couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Dom, go play basketball,” Brian said with an amused tone, noticing Dom's fidgeting.

Dom straightened his back, trying to focus on the same page he’d been reading for the last fifteen minutes. “No, I’m good.”

“I can see you’re not really into that book,” Brian urged, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

Dom hesitated, glancing between the court and Brian. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Brian chuckled softly, shaking his head. “I’ll be right here, and I promise I won’t disappear. If you want, I can just go right behind the basket, so I’ll always be in your line of sight. And look at Vince—he desperately needs your help, doesn’t he?”

Dom glanced over at Vince’s team. He didn’t know the exact score, but with one side looking proud and Vince’s team appearing exhausted, it was clear that Vince needed some reinforcements.

Seeing the envy flicker in Dom’s eyes, Brian stood up and stretched. “It’s decided, then. Come on.”

Brian extended his hand toward Dom, encouraging him to take it, and helped him rise. Brian then moved closer and kissed Dom on the cheek. “Go have fun.”

It might have seemed like a simple gesture, but Dom cherished seeing Brian do these small things—gestures that proved he still valued their connection.

Reluctantly, Dom joined the game, glancing back at Brian to see if he was still reading. Maybe he wouldn’t be Vince’s savior for the day, but as the minutes passed and Brian remained engrossed in his book, Dom grew more confident on the court.

When the game finally ended, they didn’t win, but the result was better than it would have been if he hadn’t joined. Brian lay on the grass, still reading. Dom plopped down next to him, feeling a rush of warmth as Brian closed his book to give him his full attention.

In that moment, Dom’s heart skipped a beat. The way Brian looked at him, the shift in his expression—there was something genuinely beautiful about it. It reminded Dom of everything he had fought for, everything they had both endured.

“Hey,” Brian said softly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “You lost, but you did good out there.”

Dom chuckled, feeling a mix of pride and affection. As they lay there, side by side under the sun, he felt happier than ever.

In the days that followed, they managed to coax Brian into playing a bit, but he still felt awkward around the other inmates. Without the drugs to hide behind, he was just Brian—vulnerable and exposed, struggling to connect with people he barely knew. He felt out of place, less confident, especially as he watched how easily Vince and Dom interacted with everyone around them.

Overwhelmed, Brian often retreated into books, seeking solace in their pages rather than risking social interactions. He hoped that one day he would feel comfortable enough to act nonchalantly around others, but for now, the only two people he felt at ease with were Dom and Vince.

Dom cherished how open and natural Brian was with him, how he would recount the plots of the books he read each night. Hearing him speak, watching his thoughts connect and flow, was a joy. Brian’s storytelling had transformed; he could now share intricate details and make narratives coherent, something he had struggled to do when his mind was clouded by drugs.

In the past, when they watched movies together, Dom often found himself lost in Brian’s unstructured thoughts, as if he had seen another movie in parallel. But now, with Brian’s mind clear, he could listen to him weave stories for hours.

As the days passed, Brian’s laughter grew louder, his smiles wider, and his eyes sparkled even more with life. He engaged passionately in conversations about anything with Vince and Dom, bringing back the essence of who he truly was.

Yet, as much as Dom delighted in this change, he couldn’t shake a nagging worry. What if this newfound clarity made him find Dom dull or question why he was even with him? Maybe he had only been useful to the old Brian, not to this one. Brian might open his eyes and consider Dom like someone he had no interest in, and Dom would have to watch him go, watch him leave him behind to take his life in his hands, a limitless horizon in front of him.

Dom had no idea what his life would become without Brian. It had always been about him—only him. He barely remembered life before him.

But Brian hugged Dom easily, initiating contact far more than he ever had while using. Dom had always been the one to offer comfort; now he was so happy to see Brian doing the same so naturally.

One day, Brian noticed the turmoil brewing within Dom. He surprised him by coming up from behind and resting his chin on Dom’s shoulder. “What’s happening?”

Dom grimaced. “It’s, um—”

Brian pulled back slightly, giving Dom the space to decide whether he wanted to talk about it. His big eyes, so focused and so alive, locked onto Dom with a gentle intensity. There was an openness in Brian's gaze, a willingness to listen and understand, and Dom felt compelled to talk.

“I’m not holding you back, right? If you want to do your own things without me in your way, you can. I haven’t freed you from a controlling drug only to trap you again. I want what’s best for you, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me out of obligation.”

Even Dom cringed at his words, unable to meet Brian’s gaze. He sensed Brian getting closer, then Brian took both of his hands. “We haven’t discussed that yet… But… I’m sorry for what I said during withdrawal. I don’t remember everything; a lot of it is pretty blurred, not gonna lie, but I remember your expression. I know I said things that hurt you.”

Dom shook his head. “No, it’s okay. We’d all have acted the same way in those circumstances.”

Brian smiled gently. “The other thing is… I may not have been really receptive or present enough during those two years outside of prison, but even with a foggy brain, I could still tell what kind of person you were. I always felt safe and happy around you. I trusted you quickly, and my instincts were right—you never proved me wrong. Frankly, you should have given up on me a long time ago.”

Dom let go of one of Brian’s hands and cupped his cheek. “How could I ever do that? I love you,” he said, his voice genuine and steady. Brian felt his heart melt at the sincerity.

“I know. I love you too.”

In that moment, all of Dom’s doubts began to fade.

This time felt different from all the previous moments when Brian had said those words. He had always uttered them after Dom had given him a dose, and perhaps that connection had been anchored in Dom’s mind—associating the act of giving with the reward of those three little words.

But right now, it felt real. There was nothing Dom had given in exchange for them, nothing he had done to earn them, except for simply being who he was.

Brian got closer and kissed Dom, a soft yet powerful gesture that felt like everything would finally be alright. Dom hadn’t dared to kiss him in so long. During Brian’s withdrawal, he had pushed Dom away, and afterward, Dom had stayed near, watching over him while trying to let him rediscover what it meant to be alive.

Brian had initiated a few tender kisses on Dom's cheek, but Dom never dared to reciprocate. But this kiss felt like permission to love Brian freely, and as the warmth of Brian’s lips lingered on his, Dom felt a rush of emotions—relief, joy, and a profound sense of belonging, solidifying his place in Brian’s life.

Days passed, and Dom adjusted to playing basketball with Vince and other inmates, no longer fearing that Brian would run away. While Brian still often retreated into his books, he was gradually becoming more comfortable joining in on the games.

Life felt like a breath of fresh air. Dom cherished every moment spent outside, playing under the sun and watching Brian, lost in his book, whose hair shimmered in the light, making him appear almost surreal.

They continued this routine until one day, Dom lifted his gaze and noticed that Brian had vanished. Panic surged through him.

Brian had experienced cravings before, and Dom had always been there to comfort him, helping him manage his anxiety. The fight against addiction wasn’t over, but Dom trusted Brian to come to him before doing anything stupid.

He must just be in the bathroom, just like last time, Dom reasoned. Maybe he told me, but I wasn’t paying attention, too focused on playing. He’ll be back in a minute.

It wasn't the first time Brian had stepped away for a few minutes while Dom was playing—though it was still a recent development. Dom had always worried but purposefully never said anything to Brian when he returned, fearing that it might upset him or make him feel cornered.

Brian had always come back, and each time, Dom felt a wave of relief wash over him. But now, as two more minutes passed with no sign of Brian, unease settled deeper in Dom's chest.

Vince approached Dom, excusing himself from the game, too. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know,” Dom murmured, his voice barely audible, choked by the lump in his throat.

“Let’s go find him. Maybe he’s just in the bathroom. You check there, and I’ll go to Verone’s cell just in case,” Vince said with a firm voice.

Dom nodded, unable to trust his voice. He searched through every restroom in the area, his heart racing with each passing second. The worry gnawed at him, escalating with every empty stall he checked.

When he finally found Brian, his expression turned blank.

Brian was sitting on the stall’s ground, his back against the cool tiles. The clarity that had been slowly returning to him was gone, replaced by a familiar fog that Dom recognized all too well.

Brian looked up, his eyes now reflecting a mix of confusion and despair.

“Bri—Fuck! Why did you do this?! How could you do this? Why didn’t you come to me?! Why are you fucking everything up?! What, you liked going through withdrawal? You want to do that again? You know what? I don’t even want to talk about this right now.”

Dom turned to leave the stall, but Brian reached out, trying to catch his hand. His movements were slow and disoriented. “No—e…” he managed, his voice short and scared.

Dom was furious. He pushed Brian’s hand away, his eyes dark. “I don’t care about your excuses.”

Brian shook his head slowly, gasping for breath. “Th—n...”

“And you're slurring like crazy! Christ, it’s like it’s even worse than before. I don't want to see you for now.”

Dom began to walk away.

“Wa—” Brian’s voice trailed off.

Dom hesitated, torn between anger and concern. Brian seemed in a worst state than usual, but the weight of betrayal pressed heavily on Dom's chest. He wanted to turn back, to comfort him, to understand why this was happening, but the thought of Brian’s choices—the pain of it all—made it hard to breathe.

He left the bathroom, ignoring Brian's desperate call. He felt like punching every wall in sight. He could find the guy Brian had gone to; that would make for a perfect punching bag.

Vince spotted him and frowned at the look on Dom's face. “Don’t tell me he’s—”

“Yes!” Dom snapped, his voice tight with frustration.

“And you left him?” Vince's brow furrowed deeper.

Dom turned away, ashamed. “I just couldn’t stay there… God, seeing him like that is just… Fuck, Vince, we have to go through all of this again! I can’t watch him every second of his life in prison. I just can’t! And I can’t put you through that for damn years!”

Vince placed a comforting hand on Dom’s shoulder. “It’s alright. We’ll find a way.”

Dom buried his face in his hands, overwhelmed. “How? I’m so sorry for dragging you into all of this…”

Vince shrugged. “Babysitting isn’t my favorite activity, that’s true. But maybe we could convince him to get help from the medical center this time? They’ll keep him longer. I mean, he had seemed to try to avoid relapsing for a while, so there’s still hope, you know?”

Desperation clawed at Dom as he tried to consider solutions. They sat outside for a few minutes, but Dom could no longer enjoy the sun. All he wanted was to crawl into bed and shut out the world.

He just didn’t want to see Brian right now, but guilt gnawed at his heart. It wasn’t just about what he wanted. I can’t leave him there, he thought. “I’ll bring him back to the cell, and I’ll convince him to get some help.”

They both stood up, a sense of determination fueling their steps. But as they moved through the corridors, a commotion caught their attention. One of the guys near Dom’s cell saw him and approached, giving him a sad look.

“Dom, your boy… I heard he overdosed. They just brought him to the medical center. I thought he had stopped using? My roommate stopped for two months, and when he went back to it, he took his usual dose and overdosed because his body wasn’t used to that amount anymore… It’s not uncommon, unfortunately…”

Dom felt his heart drop, his stomach twisting as nausea washed over him. Everything slowed down, and he barely registered what was happening. The next thing he knew, he was sitting against the wall, feeling like his head was about to explode.

When Vince tried to catch his attention, Dom barely looked at him, lost in his own turmoil.

“I... I don’t even remember what I said to him before I left. My last words—I was so angry. I screamed at him and just walked away. But I’ve seen him take his dose so many times, and he never had trouble talking before. Maybe he sensed something was wrong, maybe he asked me for help, and I left! I left him behind, turned my back on him when he trusted me—”

Dom's voice cracked, the weight of guilt and fear suffocating him. The thought of Brian alone in that state, looking at Dom leaving him behind felt like a dagger to his heart.

Vince couldn’t handle it anymore. “Dom. Enough.”

Dom buried his face between his arms, and Vince heard the unmistakable sound of his sobs. It was a rare sight; Dom never cried in public. Vince crouched in front of him, but aside from wrapping his arms around him, there was little he could do. Seeing Dom lose it made Vince want to cry too, but that would be the last thing Dom needed.

So, Vince stood up and rushed toward the crowd gathered in front of the doors where Brian had been taken. Whispers floated through the air, and he approached the two guards stationed there.

“Was he breathing? Is he—” Vince couldn’t bring himself to say the word ‘dead’, so he changed his question. “—gonna be okay? Who found him?”

One of the guards shrugged. “I don’t know. They just brought him in.”

The other guard had no more information.

Another inmate stepped closer to Vince. “I found him.”

Vince opened his mouth, but the inmate quickly continued.

“He was coming out of the bathroom, but none of the words he said made any sense. It was like he couldn’t articulate anything anymore. He had trouble walking before he lost consciousness. I was there when the medical team arrived. He was still breathing—well, they said it was very shallow, like fourteen breaths per minute or something? They were bringing him in to administer naloxone, to reverse the effects of the overdose, and oxygen support.”

“Alright. Okay. Not dead. Thank you, thank you very much,” Vince replied, feeling relieved.

The inmate smiled sympathetically. “Good luck.”

Vince returned to find Dom sitting against the wall, motionless.

“Dom. Dom, he’s breathing,” Vince said, cringing internally. He didn’t know if Brian was still breathing at that moment. What if he was giving false hope to Dom?

Dom lifted his eyes to meet Vince’s, and Vince quickly looked away, unable to hold his gaze. Hope was the only thing they could cling to for now. “They brought him in. He’s not dead; they’re helping him.”

He tried to maintain a facade of calm, knowing how much Dom needed that reassurance.

Dom closed his eyes. He leaned his head against the wall behind him. Vince sat close, feeling the tension in the air. He didn’t dare voice the thought that maybe this would be the wake-up call Brian needed—a significant enough trigger to prevent him from trying again. It might give the medical center a reason to put him through withdrawal, and perhaps that was the best possible outcome—unless he wasn’t breathing anymore. Vince pushed that thought away.

Time seemed to stretch as they sat there, lost in their own worries. After what felt like hours, Dom rose abruptly. “I need to see him.”

Vince caught his hand, stopping him. “You can’t. We’re not allowed to visit. We may not even be able to get any news about his condition.”

“Maybe if I break down their damn door, they’ll give me some news,” Dom spat, venom lacing his tone.

“No, they’ll throw you in solitary, and you’ll lose any chance of getting updates at all.”

“Alright, I’ll ask politely, then—”

“Or you don’t talk, and I’ll do the talking,” Vince interrupted, his voice firm.

Dom glared at him for a moment, but the fight slowly ebbed from his expression.

It was ironic because usually, Vince would be the last person picked to do the talking. His short temper wasn’t his best quality, but right now, it felt safer to have him in charge than to let Dom take the lead.

Of course, there was no news for another two hours, until a guard—someone who had known the three of them for a long time—went to fetch information.

“He’s been transferred to an external hospital. Last I heard, he’s regained consciousness. They said he was found quickly, which probably saved him. They did blood tests, but there’s still more time to wait for the results.”

Dom nodded along, absorbing every word.

Vince furrowed his brow. “Blood test? What for? It was heroin.”

The guard shrugged. “Yeah, that’s what they concluded too. But I heard they’re running other tests to establish the quantity. The doctor is in contact with the external hospital; I’ll tell you more when I know more.”

“Thank you, thank you so much,” Dom said, feeling overwhelming gratitude. He knew nobody had to share this information with them.

They waited again, and the door finally opened an hour later, revealing the doctor. “Mr. Toretto, can you come with me to my office?”

Dom jumped to his feet and followed her, a CO staying close by. The doctor asked multiple questions about Brian’s recent conditions and changes.

“Yes, he was off. I understand there were big chances of relapses, but it’s been a month now, and he had held on until then. Maybe— I don’t know, maybe it got too strong and he couldn’t resist this time. But when it happened before, he always came to me.”

“You said he wasn’t exactly consenting for the withdrawal, right?” the doctor pressed.

Dom grimaced, the guilt twisting in his stomach. Morally, or even legally, what he had done was dubious. He didn’t care if he faced legal ramifications for coercion. “Yes. He was taking more and more, and it was becoming dangerous for him, and I just…”

“You can talk; it’s okay. I need as much information as I can,” the doctor said, her voice devoid of any judgment.

“I should have made him quit a long time ago. I was just being a coward, I felt like it was easier to keep going, and that I always would be able to provide him for what he needed.”

The doctor nodded, glancing back at her notes. “But despite his first lack of consent, he actively tried to stay sober since then, reaching out to you whenever the cravings became too strong. Did he express any suicidal thoughts?”

“Well, yes, during the withdrawal—”

“No, sorry, I meant after that. Users of heroin often face psychological troubles or issues they have a hard time dealing with. But since he stopped, what seemed to be his mental state? Do you think he might have wanted to commit suicide?”

Dom blinked, the question hitting him hard. “No.” He tried to think harder. “I don’t know, but he began reading a lot and seemed very happy to have his mind clear. I mean, it hadn’t happened for years. It was like he was learning how much he enjoyed things again. It was actually going better than I thought it would. You should have seen him,” Dom said with a small smile. “He was so talkative and happy to tell me about the books he read.”

The doctor nodded once more. “It seems to correlate with how many books he had rented recently. I’ll be frank with you, Mr. Toretto. I have received news about the quantity he injected, and it was far too much for his system.”

Dom nodded, his heart sinking. “Yes, another inmate told me it often happened that their previous dose became too much after a withdrawal.”

The doctor pinched her lips. “I don’t think it was his usual dose. You’ve been with him for a long time, and as I understand, you were the one acquiring it. So you probably have a clear idea of how much he was taking?”

“Yeah, fifty milligrams.”

“Which confirms my suspicions and the hospital’s findings. The results have arrived, and he was found with ninety-eight milligrams.”

Dom’s eyes widened in disbelief. “That’s impossible! He would’ve never done that.”

“Which is why I was asking you about any signs of suicidal thoughts. I do not think a user would consciously double their dose without a clear objective in mind. Of course, it can happen that, out of craving, a bigger dose becomes appealing. But Mr. O’Conner regained consciousness and said someone forced the drug in him, which is why I needed corroborating information. The cameras are being reviewed, and we’re investigating if that could be the truth. It’s not unusual for relapsing patients to lie, out of shame for what they’ve done.”

Dom felt a surge of anger. Forced? “Do we know by whom?”

The doctor straightened her back. “As I said, they are looking into it right now. But you have to understand that we cannot disclose that information. Plus, the cameras will only confirm that the man Mr. O’Conner accused entered the bathroom—but we don’t know what happened there. The dose was suspicious, indicating that Mr. O’Conner might be telling the truth, but there won’t be any proof, as I doubt the other man will reveal anything beyond having given the heroin to Mr. O’Conner and leaving.”

“You mean someone tried to kill him, and he won’t face repercussions?” Dom’s tone was cold, tinged with disbelief.

“I’m very sorry, Mr. Toretto. But what matters most to you: your friend’s life or revenge?”

The ultimatum hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. Of course, the answer was obvious, but Dom didn’t see a reason he couldn’t have both.

He nodded. “Do you think he’s going to be okay?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

The doctor met his gaze, her expression serious yet compassionate. “We’re doing everything we can. He agreed to undergo medication-assisted treatment, and his recovery will depend on how he responds to it. It’s a long road, but there’s always hope—especially since he succeeded once before. It will be easier this time; it will happen slowly, and he only took one dose, so his body will adjust to withdrawal more quickly.”

Dom nodded once again, then left the room.

He went to look for Vince, but he wasn’t in his cell. When he returned to his own, the sight of it only deepened his sadness—it reminded him too much of Brian.

“Dom!”

He turned to see Vince rushing toward him.

“I know what happened. Well—I don’t know exactly, but it’s Verone’s man, Enrique, I believe—or maybe the other one; I can never keep them straight. When you disappeared with the doctor, I went back close to their cell. I mean, you said Verone kind of agreed not to sell anything to Brian anymore, but the gear had to come from somewhere, right? If you want something, he’s the guy. Anyway, I wanted to investigate a bit, and I didn’t have to wait long. Verone was pissed at Enrique. From what I gathered, Verone never thought Brian would actually hold on, and the plan was to get him addicted again because he was a committed client, and you were useful. But Enrique gave him too much.”

Dom’s fists clenched. “Alright. Well, Enrique, Roberto, Verone—whoever, they’re dead.”

“Dom, if you get caught, Brian’s left alone. I can try to ask to be the one transferred to his cell, but I’ll have a hard time keeping him in line by myself. If he relapses, I won’t be able to do your job.”

“He won’t relapse.”

“He might, if you’re not here with him. I’m his friend too, but I’m not you.”

“But if I don’t do anything, they’ll do it again. I can’t take that risk either.”

Vince sighed. “Alright. Well, I can’t let you do that alone—”

“Yes, you can. Whatever you say, the both of you have to stay safe. I’ve done worse to get Brian’s dose. I’ve worked for Verone; I know what he’s capable of, and I won’t let him get close to Brian ever again.”

“But you can’t do that alone—”

“Don’t worry. I won’t be.”

Dom had spent enough time in prison to make friends and learn who owed debts to whom, who held grudges against whom. He knew exactly who to ask for help.

A few days later, Dom was warned by a guard that Brian had returned to prison. The hospital had handled the withdrawal, but once stabilized, the prison’s medical staff was taking over.

When Brian was released from the medical center a month and a half later, neither Enrique, Roberto, nor Verone were breathing anymore. Despite the large suspicion surrounding Dom, authorities had failed to find any incriminating evidence against him or anyone else.

Dom might have stirred up big problems by killing Verone, but he didn’t care. Another top dog would take the job, and that was it—nobody would remember Verone in a few months.

Brian had heard the whispers. He knew it was Dom; it couldn’t be a coincidence. He had spent most of his time in prison disconnected from reality, indifferent to anything beyond his immediate surroundings, but he had taken the time during his recovery to connect the dots about everything Dom had likely done for him over the past year.

He had accepted and followed all the procedures they laid out for him. Never had he imagined he would have to talk so much to a counselor, but therapy sessions were deemed crucial for his psychological recovery—especially since he hadn’t willingly taken that last dose and had almost died because of it.

When Brian finally returned to Dom, time had dragged on unbearably for Dom. They had never been apart for more than six or seven hours in the last three years. Dom felt like he was going crazy, but the moment his eyes landed on Brian at the entrance of the cell, everything else faded away.

He jumped from his chair and rushed toward Brian, who greeted him with a big smile and leaped into his arms.

Dom showered him with kisses—on his jaw, cheek, temple—any accessible part he could reach while holding him tightly. Brian giggled, nuzzling into Dom’s neck, and for that brief moment, all the fears and guilt of the past month and a half melted away.

But it quickly crawled back.

“God, I missed you, I was so scared,” Dom whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “And I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t stay with you. I left you behind; I didn’t listen to you—”

Brian kissed him to silence the flood of apologies, knowing full well that Dom wouldn’t stop even if he begged him to.

Dom lost himself in the kiss, his hand resting on Brian’s neck, afraid to move. If he lost contact with Brian’s skin, he feared he might disappear again. But the warmth radiating from him confirmed that he was alive.

After a moment, Brian broke the kiss and opened his eyes, prompting Dom to do the same.

“I promise you I won’t use again,” Brian said earnestly.

Dom shook his head, resting his forehead against Brian’s. “No matter what happens, even if you relapse, we’ll always find a solution,” he murmured, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “We’ll find a way back to each other.”

Brian looked up, his eyes filled with love, and Dom pressed on. “And if, one day, you were to leave me behind forever, I would follow you.”

Dom knew Mia would manage just fine without him; she always had, being the smartest of them all. Vince would be okay too; he was a real jack of all trades.

A flicker of understanding passed between them, a silent promise hanging in the air. “You won’t ever have to,” Brian said, his voice softening as he leaned in, pressing his lips against Dom’s.

“I’m so sorry…” Dom said softly against his lips. He had left Brian alone, probably desperate and frightened, feeling like life was slipping away from him.

Brian’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “It’s okay. You know, the only thing I was scared of wasn’t dying, in the end. It was that you would be so disappointed in me. I was terrified I’d die with you thinking I gave up, that I didn’t care about you.”

Dom’s grip tightened even more. He had tried to push away those very thoughts when he left the bathroom, knowing that an addict’s cravings often overshadowed everything else. But he had been devastated to think he hadn’t been enough for Brian to keep fighting, even if it was a selfish thought.

Every instinct had screamed that something was wrong, yet Dom had been blinded by his own fears. He was the one who had given up in that moment, and he would never forgive himself for that.

“They can’t ever do anything to you anymore. And I won’t turn my back on you like that ever again,” Dom promised, his voice steady.

Brian took Dom’s hand, bringing it to his lips. “I’m sorry for everything you had to do because of me. I never wanted things to go this way… But I’m fine now; I’m fine, and that’s all thanks to you. Everything you did for me… it’s over now. You can breathe.”

Dom kissed him again, smiling against Brian’s lips. “You’re the only air I need.”

Brian couldn't help but smile back. It was cheesy, but he couldn't even tease Dom about it because it perfectly captured how he felt too.

  :::

  THE END

[mrhaitch]

hi mr.haitch!

as someone who's interested in academia, do you think you can speak a bit about your experiences and journey? it's something i've had my eye on for a bit but honestly don't even know where to begin and idk if i'm just having a mini life crisis because i'm feeling unfulfilled in my current field.

I think I've spoken about this before, but I'll do it again. Please note that I am currently not in academia at present, although I do have plans to return. Currently I'm teaching functional skills in English and maths to kids in their late teens (many of them with severe emotional, behavioural, or learning disorders) so this will be more of a retrospective.

(Be warned, it's long)

Let's get one thing very clear: I was a bad student and my road into academia is and remains crooked. I had bad grades in highschool, an appalling attendance record, and spent a great deal of highschool in detention. It is a miracle that I finished highschool, and a further miracle that I was accepted by a college, and fluked through my A-levels.

I never paid attention in class unless it was something I cared about. Homework was a mythical concept, I never participated, rarely engaged, and generally treated school with disdain.

And I didn't get better until I was in my twenties.

Some of it was anxiety, a lot of it was arrogance.

So fast forward through my undergrad years where I oscillated wildly between workaholic frenzy (political philosophy, existentialism, philosophy of religion) to staunch absenteeism (philosophy of language, socratic philosophy). In my final year things kind of clicked, I knuckled down, got into a few fights with my lecturers, forced my grades up, and came out with a good enough grade to get onto a masters course.

This was largely in thanks to my writing, which I'd become increasingly dedicated to, completing and submitting my first (and thankfully unpublished novel) in the process. During my master's I revelled in the greater degree of independence, how I could direct and engage with the material in my own way, and how it connected with my passions (creative writing). I still had an arrogant moment, failed to prepare for an assignment and failed it. The failure capped my overall grade at a pass which sank any hope for a scholarship.

Dejected and pissed off, I then took the first job that came my way and gave up on academia. I languished in the service industry for four years and thought I'd amount to nothing more. Some political nonsense happened towards the end, I pushed back against the wrong people who promptly tried to fire me under false (and illegal) pretenses.

Haitch pushed me to look into doing my PHD again. I applied, teaching out to one of my old MA teachers to be my supervisor and he accepted with far more enthusiasm than I could've hoped for. I got a loan from the government and vowed to throw myself at my PHD as hard as I could, and I did.

From 2019 until early 2023, I worked five days a week (plus some time in the weekends) on my thesis and my writing. 8-5 every day with my nose in a book, or plugging away at a manuscript, or drafting papers. I lived and breathed it every second. I kept a journal where I pushed myself to work harder and harder to achieve what I felt was my dream. During that time I was determined to come out with my experience and qualifications than I could possibly need for an entry position. I shadowed my colleagues when they taught classes, exchanged emails with academics I admired, published more short fiction.

Brick by brick I built a portfolio and a modest reputation. Then I was invited to speak at a prestigious convention in the UK. I met legendary literary agents, famous authors, hung out with people I admired, and had a chance to read some of my work to an audience and discuss its themes.

I taught for two years, while at the same time working two other contracts for various outreach bodies teaching and supporting kids from deprived or disadvantaged backgrounds.

And I still can't get a permanent position.

I've been shortlisted once or twice, and knocked back at the first hurdle a whole bunch.

Academic positions are like gold dust scattered down the back of a unicorn as it leaps over a double rainbow. It is hard to get a job teaching and researching at a university, especially in the humanities. It is endless rejection with minimal feedback, banging your head against a brick wall over and over wondering if you felt it move or if you've just softened your skull.

It's hard, very hard, and takes a lot of commitment and a lot of sacrifice, with zero guarantee you'll get anyway.

But you do it because you can't imagine yourself doing anything else.

The eagle eyed amongst you will recognise this as the same conclusion I reached about writing, and they're right. It's the same. Often thankless, frequently difficult. A feeling of toiling alone in the dark, waiting for someone, anyone to peer into the well you fell down.

But as hard as it is, if that's the path you've chosen, a part of you doesn't care. You do it anyway. You do it in spite of what it costs you, and the little it gives back.

At least, that's how I see it. Thank you for attending my rambling, somewhat doom-laden, TED talk.

[neverforever09]

Watching Smallville (Clana) - Season 1

I started watching this show since my Tiktok feed was sprinkled with intriguing edits about Clark Kent and edits about his relationships. Basically, I didn’t have any expectations on what I would see on this show. I had little to no knowledge of any background lore or expectations about where this show would go.[So, disclaimer; Anything I write here is purely from my opinion on the show] I remember one particular comment on an edit where my interest was sparked in this show. The comment read something like “He [Clark] didn’t love anyone like he loved Lana. Lana was the one for him. They had to inject kryptonite in her veins for him to walk away. Even then, it was her that walked away, not him.”. I don’t know, that seemed like the kind of love that cinema was made for, no? So, I started watching the show because forbidden love was something I could deal with.

Season 1.

Smallville Season 1 began with introducing several baseline facts including: the warmth and love radiating from Clark’s adoptive parents, his friendship with Pete and Chloe, Clark’s abilities, and Clark’s crush on Lana Lang. At this point, I feel like Clark didn’t know much about Lana. She was a girl who caught his eye. But ‘a girl who caught his eye’ doesn’t seem to really capture the depth of his infatuation with Lana at this point. Clark is honestly a real creeper at the beginning, stalking Lana through the telescope in her loft.The first scene that comes to mind of the two of them is when Clark and Lana meet in the graveyard and Lana includes Clark in a conversation with her parents. Even this early on, the connection between them is palpable enough that it concerns Whitney who later on takes out his anger and insecurity on Clark. 

Of course, Whitney was a solid barrier in the progression of any romantic relationship between the two. What I loved was how Clark respected boundaries whilst shooting his shot. He was the guy to argue “Lana isn’t married” when people reminded him that Lana had a boyfriend. He’s also the guy who held himself back from crossing the line with Lana when he learned that Whitney was avoiding Lana due to family problems. I suppose that as noble as that restraint was, it was also the first of many times that Clark would choose to do what he believed was right rather than taking what he wanted.

Lana was certainly interested in Clark as early as their first walk home from the graveyard, but her interest wasn’t as developed as his. Still, she seemed to be the one making a lot of the moves. She was reasonably committed in her relationship with Whitney, but that relationship started fracturing the more she understood that Whitney wasn’t exactly a good guy, at least not when stood side-by-side with all of Clark’s heroic acts. Of course, Clark Kent was a handsome and mysterious man, but what I believe interested Lana was how good he was. 

Much of Season 1 is Clark crushing on Lana, trying to get Lana’s interest, and stepping back reluctantly due to his moral compass. And on the flip side, this season is about Lana falling for Clark, trying to hold onto a relationship that is familiar, and toeing the line between friends and more with Clark. This is fine for Season 1 - I’m all for a good slowburn. What irked me about the coming seasons was that for all the angst and courage it took Clark and Lana to cross the line from friend to lovers several times, there were few moments of happiness to show for it.

Season 1 is also where Clark begins to see how hard and important it is to protect his secret abilities. A key lesson for him was Phelan who exploited the knowledge of his abilities to have him do things that went against his judgment. Clear in this is how trust was a key measure that determined openness and honesty in Clark’s relationships. Did he want Lana? Yes. Did he trust her? I don’t think so, and this was understandable on Clark’s part in Season 1 where their closeness was limited due to Whitney and where Clark spent much of his time solving mysteries with Pete and Chloe.

On the flip side, I do think Lana trusted Clark as early as Season 1. For Lana, who had issues of abandonment, her trust in people was defined by how often they were there when she needed them. Clark, who had an open-door barn loft, a penchant for Lana’s company, and an uncanny habit of showing up when she was in danger, fit the bill. This is one of the reasons why she hung onto her relationship with Whitney for so long as, for all his faults and shortcomings, he was a call away.

How people will often describe Clark and Lana’s relationship in Season 1 is ‘cute’. That word rubs me the wrong way. Given their age and the setting (two teens in early years of high school), I understand why this word is used. However, these aren’t two regular teens - both of them carry quite a bit of trauma and baggage behind them. And their conversations are reflective of the maturity of their past and present experiences. Every episode, we see how their struggles and challenges are beautifully paralleled and how they support each other through it all even with just the exchange of a few sentences. It baffled me that, even given the depth of their conversations, how open Clark was with Lana about so many things, that 1) It took eons for Clark to say how he felt about Lana and 2)How it took 6 seasons for Clark to tell Lana about his powers.

I'm writing this Clark and Lana-centered review of Smallville after watching up to a chunk of Season 3 where Lana has started dating a bunch of dudes and Clark does not look like he gives enough of a fuck. I'm also writing this after binging S1 and S2 and part of S3 over like 4 days so this review might not be as in depth as I would like.

PS. I also end up on the sinking ships lol. fml

Let me know your thoughts!

[niseag-arts]

you've been showing me your admech OCs, do you want to know about mine?

I don't have art for all of them yet, but I can give you a summary :D some are a bit weird (ahum, artemis.) and more are coming because appearently i cannot stop making new OCs.

here we go! Artemis Unit B-20-A: Pronouns: they/them or it/its. (Artemis thinks gender is a trait of the flesh and they want nothing of it) Young tech priest from forgeworld Repleator, and a member of the ordo biologis. Artemis is vat grown and does not know who their relatives are, but has been adopted into the Mechanicus young and ultimately feels some form of familial relationship to the entire organisation. Artemis is diligent and does not have many hobbies, because they spend so much time working. Eventually, Artemis learns that while in-vat they have absorbed the machine spirit of the vat they were grown in, and this gives them an extraordinarily strong connection to the machine god. They have the ability to influence machines around them, and mold them to their will. (Disclaimer: this bit is because of weird shennanigans that happened in the roleplaying system he was introduced into) Artemis wears red instead of Repleators standard green because of this as well.

Skylax Q11.20 Pronouns: any (skylax does not know their gender, and doesn't really care) Skylax is a cyber mastiff handler, raised in the mechanicus and in service of the inquisition. they do not know who they are beyond that because they were recently mindcleansed. their records state that they were to be killed, but their mastiff, Seven, refused a different handler for so long the inquisition decided to mindwipe its existing handler rather than try and reprogram the mastiff. Skylax is surprisingly okay with this all, having accepted this reality as a chance at a new life.

Vinci L30 (art is very WIP) Pronouns: he/they Young Pteraxius Sterilysor currently in service of an explorator fleet. Employed as pest control on the ship, flapping around to places that are hard to reach for others. He has seen his fair share of war, and thinks this job is a welcome change of pace. He likes to make little paintings on bits of scrap canvas, particularly landscapes. He will make pictures of the home planets of his fellows based on their descriptions and then give them those.

Lexmechanic Cal (art is a doodle...) pronouns: they/them self insert OC: tech priest linguist. exact background still to be determined.

[prpfz]

🍓🥝 eighteen plus roleplay. twenty three & any prns. looking for fandomless, ocxoc, varied pairings. most plots are kidnapping/stockholm, stalking or 🕊️🪦 so if that’s not your thing, keep scrolling. long as fuck so bare with me.

semi-lit to literate (200-400 words // 1-2k characters) 3rd person pov. replies once a week, NOT once a month. chatting ooc is encouraged. discord only, i ask that you please let me take care of the server. i do not use tupperbot! smut:plot is 30:70. animated/manga faceclaims only. NO real person, picrew, sims (video game fc’s) or hand drawn faceclaims.

★ . . . a. (29) male. dom, top. older soft mafia guy. works as an arms dealer & tries to stay away from the dirtier parts of the mob. father is retired yakuza with heavy ties and many connections. he is loyal, being raised in a mob setting, loyalty is life or death; and also intuitive. his gut feelings usually tell something is wrong or about to happen. he is also possessive, growing up in a household where things weren’t given evenly; and controlling, almost a perfectionist, wanting to be in control of every moment, action and setting. in control of his own life ★ want to use him in a mafia, kidnapping & sort of stockholm plot, where your muse (ftm, switch or sub, bottom & pre op pls) who has a rough life (please no prostitution, stripping or sexual abuse background stories) maybe parents owe money to another mob or maybe they do, so my guy kidnaps them to save their life; and to y/c getting kidnapped is better than their current situation. i need someone who is calm and level headed, but also still suspicious and has a hard time trusting. someone who won’t cry because they miss home, nor someone who throws attitude because they were kidnapped. someone neutral to the ordeal. my guy doesn’t really know about trans people, so this romance will be a slow, learning experience. i have many side characters for this story and it may sound cheap but im serious about the whole background and world building. i’m very specific and picky with this one.

★ . . . a. (24) male. switch+dom, top. charming and cunning ex con. pyromaniac, got arrested for burning down a liquor store (it was closed, nobody was there) did time in prison for it and had to start his life over when he got out. he is optimistic, having the “glass half full” mindset, always rolling with the punches and making the best of whatever cards life has dealt; and independent. he’s never had anyone to rely on, nor anyone he could really trust, so he looks out for himself, and takes care of himself, always, making him a bit selfish and self centered as well ★ want to use him in a neighbors, stalking to lovers plot (weird ik) where your muse (m or f, switch, bottom) is a broke college student who rented a cheap apartment a few months ago, where the windows are like five feet apart and you can see in. my guy gets out of prison and rents an apartment there which happens to be across from y/c’s. he begins to watch through the window, whenever he can, entranced by your muse. looking for someone social, outgoing, relaxed, definitely not sleazy or a party animal. someone who is smart and in college ofc. someone who is sort of excited about having a stalker when notes start popping up and things go missing.

★ . . . c. (24) ftm, pre op. sub, bottom. trans fashion designer who has made a name for himself among celebrities and the queer community, having unique commissioned pieces. he is confident, and rather social. he likes to dress up and go out with friends. he’s disciplined, coming from a home where respect was extremely important. he is ambitious and determined, enjoying his work while also being a workaholic. he has a fear of failure and is a bit of a pessimist, thinking negatively of most situations but rarely speaks on it ★ want to use him in a kidnapping/stockholm plot as well. basic plot honestly, your muse (m, dom top) is rich and obsessed with my muse, wanting them all for himself. looking for someone coercive, someone charismatic, who will shower my muse with gifts and such to make him feel less like a hostage, eventually my muse grows used to it.

★ . . . l. (19) fem. sub, bottom. young, aspiring nurse. still in college, works overtime as much as possible at her families convenience store to pay for her schooling. she is trustworthy and very responsible, having three younger brothers. she’s good at keeping secrets and comes through on her promises. she’s determined, once she has her goal set she will do anything to get it done. she can be envious of others success, appearance or even materialistic items. she’s also insensitive, saying and doing things that only pertain to her and how she feels, disregarding others. she is a sub, bottom ★ want to use her in either A) a kidnapping/stockholm plot where she is in love with your muse (m, dom top) who she assumes doesn’t know her. so she stalks your muse and breaks into his home. while she’s there your muse gets home to find her, knocks her out and basically kidnaps her, keeping her in his basement. looking for someone soft but still psycho, not violent but willing to keep her at all costs. someone who seems like they have a fairly normal life. // B) the neighbor stalker to lovers sort of plot from above ^^ where my muse is the broke college student and yours is the ex con. looking for someone cunning, sly, charismatic.

★ . . . g. (29) fem. switch+sub, vers+bottom older soft and motherly teacher (sometimes married sometimes not depending on the plot) works with middle and high school. she is patient and understanding, working with children one has to keep a calm demeanor and a level head. she is dependable, someone one can trust to be there for them, and she hates being late; so she’s always early. she is stubborn and hard headed, taking little to no outside advice, although is very dependent; not having been alone since she was a teen, always keeping a boyfriend, lover or a warm body in her bed for comfort. she is a switch++sub, soft dom, versatile with a bottom preference ★ i want to use her in some boy next door or teachers pet type plots with your (m, switch heavy dom++ vers heavy top++ very specific i know) also really looking for older 🍪 on this one. if you don’t know what that is, this isn’t the plot for you. looking for a muse that isn’t mouthy or bratty, but also not whiny and overly subby. really an obedient sub top. curious and eager to please, maybe really attached and sprightly possessive.

if interested in any of these muses (even if you’re not interested in the plot) feel free to reach out or leave a like.

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