#bad batch humor

[amandamadeathing]

Social network post for Echo

[ukiyoebirds]

Faded Memories and Bitter Partings.

Even as a child, Hunter had luscious locks.

[havoc-7]

I just KNOW that Crosshair and Tech were the most chaotic duo back on Kamino. Tech is literally terrifying. He’s the most intelligent and the most practical, yet the man watched two (2) illegal high speed races and was like “eh yeah I could beat that system” and then DID. His unhingedness is a CHOICE. Combine that with Crosshair, who hated your guts before the Kaminoans even bred them in a tube, who picked three (3) physical fights with his COs in a four-episode arc, and you know they got up to the most chaotic shenanigans together as cadets. Poor Hunter has probably been trying to keep them out of prison since they could walk

[kybercrystals94]

Banner by @blackseafoam

My siblings and I were (okay…ARE) notorious for texts like this. 😂

[barissoffee]

STAR WARS: THE BAD BATCH | 3.08 BAD TERRITORY

[currentlylivingonaprayer]

[apocalyp-tech-a]

Just sayin!

[clonebrainrot]

[ladyzirkonia]

Honestly if he's not like this I don't want him.

[clone-whore-99]

The constant bantering between the Batch and Ramfart is amazing

"You sure we can trust that hydrosnake?" "I CAN HEAR YOU!"

"I can't wear this! It's a captains uniform! I was a vice admiral" "well you've been demoted"

"Do your thing and get us inside, we'll handle the rest" "that's do your thing, sir" "I dont think so -_-"

[thecoffeelorian]

I'm At Soup! (TBB Edition)

Title: I'm At Soup!

Fandom: Star Wars/The Bad Batch

Characters Involved: Crosshair, Batcher, Hunter, and Wrecker

WC: 486/Under 1k.

A/N: This is the one-shot to celebrate me reaching 300 followers on Tumblr! Thank you all for getting me here, and let me also tag the following people specifically:

No Pressure Tags:

@oraleandreu @gun-roswell @harmless--dreamer @built-on-hope-1977 @orangez3st

@hellhoundmaggie @lulalovez @momojedi @lazyprofessorpursesalad @still-nix-d-goffic

@archivewriter1ont @cloneflo99 @tink1221 @leapingbadger and anybody else who would like something funny to read. :D

Don't call unless it's an emergency, Hunter had requested, wanting nothing less than near perfect silence during his latest shopping trip. Under normal circumstances, Crosshair would have done just that, as he already had first-hand experience with being overwhelmed and also wasn't all that eager to force others to go through the same thing.

However...no thanks to Batcher having run off ten minutes ago, her confusion as to whether or not the moon-yos of Pabu were living animals or squeaky toys, it was unfortunately time to call in the reinforcements.

Specifically, calling up Hunter himself over the commlink, all the while he himself stood at attention by the dining room table.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Cross, what's up?"

"I need your help, can you come here?"

"Uh, I can't, I'm buying clothes."

"Alright, well..."

Letting out a small sigh, Crosshair just shrugged and continued with the call. Best not to overthink the situation, after all...yet.

"...Hurry up and come over here."

"I can't find them."

What.

"What do you mean, you can't find them?"

"I can't find them, there's only soup."

A small crackle of static popped over the system, then an awkward silence followed...and curiously enough, no 'Gotcha' or other hints that this was just one big joke from Hunter.

"What do you mean, 'there's only soup'?"

"It means there's only soup!"

"Well then, get out of the soup aisle!"

"All right! You don't have to shout at me!"

Next came the sound of footsteps as Hunter continued down a different aisle, a small huff of annoyance, and then--

"--There's more soup."

"What do you mean there's more soup?"

"There's just more soup!"

Two aisles of soup now...? This was getting out of hand, and no, that wasn't a round of self-deprecating humor.

It. Was. Madness.

"Go into the next aisle!"

"There's still soup!"

"Where are you right now?!"

"I'm at soup!"

At Soup?! How could any Trooper in the known galaxy, be it far far away or a few klicks ahead, suddenly be 'At Soup'?!

"What do you mean you're "at soup?"

"I mean I'm at soup!"

"What store are you in?!"

"I'm at the soup store!"

"Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?"

"Kriff you!"

Both Troopers turned off their ends of the commlink with a loud slap, each of them so frustrated with the other that they most likely would not be on speaking terms for the next hour.

Back on Crosshair's end, he would merely shake his head in disgust before going off in search of the dog treats, if only to give Batcher a reason to come running the moment he jostled the bag loudly enough.

On Hunter's end, however...he would be comforted with one of Wrecker's hands upon his shoulder, along with the following vote of confidence:

"I think we're gonna have to stun this guy, Sarge."

"Dank Ferrik," Hunter sighed in return. Today just wasn't his day.

[amandamadeathing]

❌ Single

❌ Taken

✔️ In a very healthy relationship with five fictional men

[ukiyoebirds]

Crosshair's fine. Slightly drunk, but fine.

Nothing like a kid to give you an existential crisis.

[havoc-7]

I feel so bad for the guy that had to be Tech’s flight instructor on Kamino. Just like imagine feeling happy and secure in your job as a clone cadet flight instructor, and then this scrawny little clone who’s about five years younger than the others in your class with giant round goggles and his hair standing on end from shorting out Kamino’s entire electrical system on a dare marches up to the flight simulator, looks at you, and says, “Look, sir, let’s not kid ourselves here. There’s nothing about flying you can teach me that I don’t already know. I’ve read every flight manual ever written and can recite the specs of any standard ship in the galaxy. My enhanced mental abilities allow me to process information from multiple sources faster than you can even remember what you ate for breakfast. I’m already a better pilot than you will ever be, so just give me the score that we both need to be done with each other and let’s move on with our lives” and then slams on the gas

[kybercrystals94]

Banner by @pandorademos

@summer-of-bad-batch

Week 2 | “Don’t even think about it.”

[leapingbadger]

Data Analysis

This is a follow up to my previous story, Interrogation.

Summary: Tech has completed his 'additional research' and asks for Hunter's help in interpreting the data so he can finally figure out how to move forward with the object of his affection.

Read on AO3

This one got away from me a little so I'll include an except instead of the whole thing. I hope you enjoy!

Excerpt:

“All my additional research has been diligently tracked, sorted and categorized. Perhaps in reviewing you could extrapolate your findings and inform me of your…” Hunter took the data pad and let his finger hastily scroll. “Tech, there are thousands of datapoints here. You were only gone for three days.” Tech nodded and took the datapad back, “that is correct. You can sort by subject matter, type of interaction, conversation…” “You recorded her?” Hunter asked, shoving his brother to the wall on the outer side of the path, his voice a hushed whisper. “Of course not. That would be unethical. I was able to recall everything with my eidetic memory and…” Tech noticed Hunter raised himself to his full height and pinch the bridge of his nose. He was aware this body language often indicated exasperation in his brother, although he was unsure what would have caused his ire at the moment. Hunter took the datapad back from his brother and continued to scroll as he walked. Tech’s fingers felt itchy, and he had to consciously stop reaching for the datapad on his belt, his muscle memory failing to realize it was currently in his brother’s grasp. “You counted how many times she touched your shoulder?” Hunter asked, his voice was devoid of emotion, but Tech couldn’t help but feel judgment underneath it. “Yes, it should actually be updated to eighteen. She did it when we landed,” he said, his fingers reaching towards the device only to have Hunter move it away from his grasp.