#barely hinted at

[sorenphelps]

🦕 emergency🦖

a comic with very sloppy colouring which happens right after this ficlet, and right before this one, both written by @goldenlionprince for The Bodyguard AU. I originally wanted to add a second page, but it's mostly dialogue, so I attempted to write it instead. It's about 500 words, and should be read after the above comic page. Thanks for the beta @neverenoughmarauders. Also tagging @lovelymasks & @diamondmeadow.

“It is real and I just can't keep it under control anymore, okay? Yesterday he kissed me and I let him! I should be focused on his safety, but I... If he hadn't stopped I don't think I would have... I mean, I slept with my gun out of reach, damnit! What if someone attacked us?! And it's not just that I'm overworked and underfucked, it’s more like I actually... I want a relationship?... But I can't... You know me, I'm just not cut out for this, I shouldn’t...” Sirius says desperately without taking a single breath.  Remus is still a little angry at him for making him so worried and rush to the museum, but his friend asks for his help so he will try his best. Sirius looks quite concerned after all. “Okay, take a breath and calm down. You know that having emotions is normal human behaviour, right? And contrary to popular belief, you are also just a mere human.” “Oh yeah, thank you for reminding me that he’s way out of my league!” Sirius snaps at him. “Oh, come on, we all know that’s not true!” Remus snaps back. “If you are so worried about your feelings, maybe you should just find yourself a hobby instead? Ever thought about doing pottery?”  Remus knows he’s acting like a little shit, but you can’t deny a man his pleasures. Plus it is sure to anger Sirius. Ironically, anger can clear his mind better than logical reasoning in stressful situations. “That is precisely all I am doing! Come on, Remus, haven’t you paid any attention to what I’ve been saying?!”  Sirius runs his fingers through his hair nervously, notices the familiarity of the movement, and again, starts thinking about James. He really is a goner. He lets out a frustrated grunt. “Look, I’m sorry for using the dino code, but I really need your help.” “All right. How can I help you though? If you want an emotional support plushie, I’m afraid you have to buy that yourself, but I promise I won’t tell the cashier that it is not actually a gift for your imaginary 5-years-old nephew. I can’t really make you fall out of love, but I can make you another emergency package with some books about love and a few packs of condoms. I can also talk you through it, or just silently let you figure it out yourself, while we look at some fossils. Or you can come home with me and help me finish folding the laundry.” “That's what you had to abandon? Wow, Lupin, I almost felt bad for a moment for interrupting your schedule of very important tasks with my problem.”  He looks a little less stressed, but it only lasts until they cover the possibility of a relationship again. “I really want this, Remus, but… How do I not fuck this up so badly that he ends up running away to marry my cousin?!..” “Don’t be dramatic, you already ran out of available cousins to marry.” “Marry my brother then…” “Don’t be ridiculous, they haven't even spoken a word to each other, besides the only thing they have in common is you… Calm down, and use that big brain of yours to figure out what you really want. Then we can think about how to make that happen, okay?”

[pinkedify]

heartstrings

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[r-aindr0p]

A (french) vampire barges in your house "un"invited and cooks up some "crunch-misters" for you. What do you do ?

[grahoriasfancave]

This fandom’s going through a lot of discourse right now, especially regarding mischaracterization, so here’s a list of non-rape-related details the game and Q&As tell us about Anya

(disclaimer: I’ve watched a handful of playthroughs but haven’t played Mouthwashing myself)

She’s competitive (re: game night)

She’s determined and/or stubborn (applying for medical school again and again to the detriment of her savings, keeping Curly alive though mercy-killing him would be just as acceptable)

She’s insanely good at her job even if she’s not legally a nurse (keeping Curly alive this long on very limited supplies, holy hell)

She’s a logical person (assessing situations quickly and accurately, taking time to think things through before acting, paying attention to detail)

She’s friendly toward her coworkers (teasing Swansea about his sweet tooth, pinning Daisuke’s art on the board in Medical, expressing amusement when Curly says something corny)

She gets lost in thought sometimes (Swansea complains she doesn’t always pay attention when he’s talking to her)

She and Curly have the same taste in music (Curly compliments her playlist)

She’s willing to break rules when it seems beneficial (hiding the gun, arguing that they should break into the cargo hold, allowing Curly to take over Jimmy’s psych eval)

She’s very academically inclined (reading and rereading manuals beyond her “wheelhouse” as the nurse, spending her free time studying)

She likes going for runs, horrible reality TV, and fast food

Feel free to reblog with anything I missed :)

[peace-hunter]

also regardless of whether soundwave becomes a decepticon or not in the baby prime orion au, he still sends optimus every recording he has of the primes. especially the ones where they're with him as a baby. the ones where they talk about him. where they're gushing about him learning a new word or how to run or just a fun thing he did that day. the little things that no historian would think to record but that a close friend may treasure.

he couldn't keep his primes safe. he couldn't take revenge on the traitor who murdered them. he couldn't stop him from taking their legacy and molding it to his whims. but if he can keep the memory of them alive, if he can make sure they are remembered as how they truly were, if he can give optimus back a little bit of the family he lost... maybe that can begin to make up for his failures

[olberic]

optimus in earthspark saying his favourite colours are red blue and chrome and the joke is that thats his colours but hmm yknow who else is

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[frameconfessions]

Techrot Encore Protoframes Early Voice Previews from the Promotional Site

Flare Varleon

Velimir Volkov II

Minerva Hendricks

Kaya Velasco

[six-of-cringe]

Looking through Crooked Kingdom for reasons, and before Jesper goes to meet with his dad at the University, it says Wylan lent him a few Kruge to get some more student-ish clothes and I wondered where he got that money from. I now realize that this was shortly after Kaz gave Wylan the 5 kruge from Smeet and told him not to spend it all in one place. And then he proceeded to spend it on helping Jesper. Fungus in my brain

[lastminutestarwarsfan]

Can someone please explain to me how in the name of God Palpatine was even able to gain so much access to Anakin? It's implied he's been keeping him close since Phantom Menace. Like I can understand after he's been knighted but as a padawan???? And not just ANY padawan but the notoriously unstable, taken-in-far-too-late-trained-by-a-barely-qualified-freshly-knighted-king-of-sass-and-oh-btw-we-think-he's-the-chosen-one padawan?? That one??? Surely there must have been parameters in place to protect Jedi children from just this sort of manipulation???? Not to mention keeping a close eye on this one in particular???

Like if it weren't so sad it would be (and admittedly is) hilarious how oblivious everyone is.

Like just imagine fucking Yoda and Mace chilling and thinking to themselves "Hmm where's that boy Anakin, you know the one we really did not think it would be a good idea to train lmao" and someone just cheerfully reasssures them "Oh don't worry his kindly pseudograndpa who is definitely not grooming him has taken him to the Opera! For cultural enrichment" Like??? Honestly I know no one suspects Palpatine is a Sith, but he's sure as hell a creepy old politician with a propensity for hanging around little boys. How is no one's alarm bells ringing?? How are the pedophilia accusations not pouring in??

[anotherdragon]

crazy how we only had qsmp for like a year but it managed to irreversibly sear itself into my brain. the storylines were messy and unfinished and we will never see a satisfying end for any of it but holy shit was it beautiful

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[nero-neptune]

– + × = ?

[chirpsythismorning]

Mentally I'm here (wait for it…)

[mettatons-fat-doughy-asscheeks]

You look at him

Totally couchbound

Fast food bags and wrappers surround him and even can be found in his folds

BRRRMPPTTTTTTTT

He's of course helplessly gassy. You ensured it by putting him on that diet

His tubby face and chins are smeared in grease and sauce, majority being mayo

You made sure he craved the extra fatty stuff, stuff no sane human would ingest even on a dare

Lest they turn into a porker like him

His sweaty body looks as if it could give off steam it was so hot

You tuned the temperature of the "living room" to make sure he was always sweating

A bottle of sugary soda or an ice cold ice cream shake was always in reach to cool him down

Especially when he unceremoniously dumps it down his front because his fat sausage fingers were deprived of any dexterity long ago

He loves the feeling of the icy cold slop washing down his bloated areola

Those plumped nipples he was constantly groping and teasing any time he got even remotely close to turned on

After all even when he could get up he couldn't reach down there

A growing mound of pubic blubber and a steady dose of specially crafted "supplements" ensured that

And oh how he was turned on

Maybe it was the constant stream of humiliating smut you'd play over multiple TVs in his eyeline.

Maybe it was the fact any time he fruitlessly attempted to stand like he was still capable of being a functioning person the wobbling of his fatpad stimulated that useless little thing it'd swallowed

Maybe it was you constantly fucking his cavernous greasy navel like it was your own personal onahole

Or the friends you allowed to do the same

Maybe his mind was so hopelessly broken that the mere act of eating that greasy slop one could charitably call "food" made his pathetic cock twitch

Either way it gave him hands free orgasms that made him spurt hot gallon sized puddles of cum directly onto the carpet in front of where he sat

On that couch

His prison

His permanent home

You know he loves it

At least

You sure do

[tails-perhour]

Girls night 💅🏼

[ghostpajamas]

this sam winchester anim ive been doing on-and-off for a few weeks is really funny to me man. one wrist slitting scene wasnt enough? two? back-to-back ? whats this guys deal (looking at my reflection in a pond) maybe if i get closer ill find out ... (falls in)

here it is as a stupid fast gif. HASHTAG WORK IN PROGRESS. HASHTAG HALFWAY THERE OR SOMETHING. HASHTAG MAYBE ONE THIRD. i dont know why im talking like this.

[neverpollo]

Doing some VERY stupid MontAda fanart. Anyone who guesses what songs it references gets a cookie