#bc Adam and ronan are both so lost

[letthesunshinein]

there’s something so beautiful about the way ley lines and cabeswater are used to talk about trauma and healing??

so much of the dream thieves is about ronan coming to terms with his existence as the greywaren and his sexuality and it manifests as night horrors until he comes to terms with himself, and then he finally has control (over his dreams) and knows what he wants (adam)

and when adam has a total breakdown/dissociative episode and finally goes to fox way to work with persephone the first thing he encounters is his memories of abuse, of feeling alone, of pain. and it’s only after he moves through it that he can start to heal, that cabeswater can start to heal

and both of them still have to deal with their anger and trauma throughout the rest of the series but dream thieves really just cracks these two boys open so that new things can grow

[excelsiorss]

Hoping on here to say I finished my reread of trk like…months ago? and any meaningful discussion i could write has been lost. so instead here’s some notes i wrote in the margins!

“Blue saying she wouldn’t have been friends with Noah when he was alive?? Bitch I would! This kid is rad”

“I will eat her” — about Gwenllian being mean to Noah

Lots of sad faces anytime Noah does anything

“Go look in a mirror, Ronan”

Lots of “oop” about pretty much anything revolving Blue/Gansey

“Aww, he’s a dad.” — about Ronan (though he’s more malewife tbh)

“Ronan Lynch is a LIAR”

Lots of notes on PTSD and how Gansey obviously has it

“If Whelk wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him”

“Letting Calla touch a ghost that’s been moving through time for 7 years seems like a very bad idea.”

“We get it! Gansey is the cutest boy that ever lived and has a huge heart! Whatever!”

“You can’t tell me that Gansey isn’t a little bi!”

“Here we go!” — about 6:21

“Just be poly”

“Fiat lux?? Amabo te??” Ronan’s latin is terrible

“Get him Adam!” Ronan’s latin is terrible pt. 2

Lots of notes about how Orphan Girl/Opal is a mirror of Adam and how Adam loves her and protects her bc he sees himself in her and how Ronan loves them both so much.

“Oh, Noah.” “My angel!” “bby :(“ “Noooo” (I’m a Noah stan through and through)

“Yo fuck this demon!”

“Sooo interesting that Piper kills Greenmantle with wasps right after Gansey puts himself in front of possessed Noah to protect Blue.”

“I love her. My toxic wife” — about Piper

“She was feeling a special sort of extravert. What? A narcissist?”

“Gansey, love, don’t start with ‘She’ll keep the eye.’”

“Stop flirting” — about Henry and Gansey

“Wooow. A korean criminal and we just learned Henry was kidnapped as a child bc of his mother?? No way that’s related at all!”

“Gasp” — Henry / Seondeok reveal

“Stop flirting” — about Ronan and Adam

“Seeee? Declan can be funny!”

“Adam saying ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and it’s just Ronan having to talk to Declan.”

“So Niall did the magical equivalent of a parent using their child’s social security to get a credit card.”

“About time” — about Blue realizing she’s a hypocrite

Lots of screaming about the kiss

Notes on racism and how Henry is Korean, not Chinese.

Lots of confusion bc I thought we (and the characters) already knew Ronan had dreamt Cabeswater, but everyone is acting like they didn’t know. But then Gansey mentions that HE also thought he already knew that? So more confusion.

A note about how Gansey tells Adam not to break Ronan and then a note about how off the rails Ronan goes in TDT bc Adam doesn’t text him back immediately.

“His native language is thought. That’s so powerful. Henry, I wish we got more of you.”

“Mr. Gray, put the gun away, he’s just a kid!”

“Laumonier rubs me the wrong way and I don’t know why. Like, yeah they’re criminals, and they’re Piper’s dad/uncles so there’s already something wrong with them, but there’s something super weird about them that goes beyond that. Weird vibes. Super weird vibes.”

A break down of “unguibus et rostro” and everything Adam could have meant by that.

“Yo FUCK this demon”

“Not Henry and Blue being immediately accepted by Gansey’s parents. You’re telling me they’re not poly????”

“Everyone knows and everyone knows that they know and nobody is saying it.” — about Gansey

I’ve studied both Korean and Latin (among other languages) and every time an author plays with linguistics or uses foreign words to describe something the characters or going through, I get so giddy. The section on 정 or jeong, and how easily Henry explains it to Gansey is probably one of my favorite parts. I have a whole break down over it in the margins followed by “just date already!!”

“Noah reliving his death over and over is just like Gansey having PTSD.” (I probably could do a lengthy post on this, but I will refrain)

“No!! (yes!!)” — about the sweater

“Yes! It was!!” — about the story being about Noah. (It’s not really, but it also really really is)

“I could write essays upon essays about you Noah. You are my tragic little boy, and I love you.”

There’s more, but I’m bored and have things to do. I already started on rereading TDT, so maybe I’ll do more posts on that series at some point.

[squash1]

pynch was literally my favorite couple of all time but I really think (not even on purpose) maggie destroyed their relationship post cdth...like it became unhealthy in a way that never got addressed

i disagree so much and here’s why:

trc adam & ronan are teenagers. and they act like teenagers. they have incredible emotional intimacy for their age but they are still just kids who are not completely honest about everything & don’t really have to face deep problems within their relationship (the problems are usually external). there’s a lot more ease to relationships that exist in one place at a time when both people are at the exact same stage in their life which is trc ronan & adam. i think dreamer trilogy ronan & adam show the complexities of a relationship that has existed over a long period of time as the people in the relationship change.

cdth is the beginning of a new portion of ronan & adams dynamic because it’s the first time they aren’t tied together by place (same school, same town, same friends). adam goes to harvard and ronan is left at the barns, partially by choice and partially because he can’t really leave bc of his dreaming (mental illness coded). the dreamer trilogy is ultimately about ronan lynch more than adam, although ronan isn’t ronan without adam, and so we really see ronan’s struggle to find who he is in a context that is removed from adam and the rest of his friends. the dreamer trilogy is a portrait of what it means to move from being a teenager to being an adult and that includes the changes a romantic relationship undergoes through that transition.

mister impossible ronan & adam are not functional even though they still love and care for each other. this is mainly because ronan is lost and has chosen a path to being “found” that isn’t real or productive. but he has to figure that out. what ronan goes through in mi — distancing himself from friends and family, searching for people “like him,” and feeling ultimately just lonely all the time — was a necessary journey for him. the whole time adam is trying. and ronan is trying too. but they just aren’t in the same place but that doesn’t make their relationship bad, it makes it real. and then in greywaren, ronan is able to have a literal break from the world and work through his issues and realize what’s important and who he is and what he needs. and adam does the same thing — reevaluating his priorities and his future. they both are learning how to be truthful with themselves first, and then with each other. greywaren is the ultimate reckoning. and i can never ever say that ronan & adams relationship was destroyed after cdth because in greywaren we get this:

and if that’s not the definition of love, of finding your way back to each other, of unconditionally holding another person up, i don’t know what is.

[adamprrishcycle]

Do you recommend reading the dream books? im kinda scared to read them even tho Ronan is my fave character bc it won’t be like trc:( also highkey scared of reading anything upsetting between ronan and adam lmaoo

Well you’re defo asking the wrong person because I’ve only read call down the hawk. And being honest I didn’t enjoy it half as much as TRC, however I think it was like watching the hobbit films and expecting them to be lotr you know? And it took me 6 months to read cdth so each time I went back to it, I’d already lost a bit of the story.

So anyway! I’m currently rereading TRC and then I’m moving straight onto the dreamer trilogy and this time I’m ready and expecting characters I love and new characters I’m gonna love and a whole new vibe. Let’s both read them and meet back here when we’re done xx

[emmerrr]

It's kinda sad how Ronan thinks the real Adam is slipping away from him because of his accent not being prominent when they talk. I mean I understand that Adam kind of wants to hide his accent when he's with these rich kids but on the other hand it's sad because I don't think it's a problem to have an accent. Like I get that he thinks rich people don't have accents but I doubt that is true. Also Adam talks a lot to these people so obviously his accent is practiced and he's only talking to Ronan on the phone for a few minutes so his accent wouldn't come through as fast. I believe when he'd be talking to him for a longer period or when they would meet then his accent would come back out naturally. Ronan is such an extra drama queen lol like he takes everything so seriously and thinks oh Adam must not love me anymore bc he doesn't have an accent or text back. A relatable gay icon lol

ooooh the accent thing, yeah, this is actually really interesting to me (sad, too!)

i don't know that i'd say adam thinks that rich people don't have accents; the hang-up seems to be more about him specifically than how other people talk. he thinks his accent gives him away, that no matter how smart he is or how hard he works or what he says, wherever he goes people are going to hear his accent and know where he comes from and know that he doesn't belong. (i'm not saying he doesn't belong btw, just that i think this is where adam's insecurities regarding his accent are coming from.) it's another way of trying to distance himself from his upbringing, i guess. y’know, other than outright lying about it (oh adam).

ronan's known adam since high school though, and so he knows that adam always used to try and hide the accent but never fully managed it. in cdth when ronan visits adam, he doesn't immediately recognise him, and when adam first speaks, ronan can hear that he's finally been able get control over his accent. it's not until they hug that ronan's like 'okay yes this is familiar, this is still my adam'. flashforward to the end of mi where everything's been going on and ronan hasn't spoken to adam in weeks -- too scared to let him in, too scared to call, perhaps making up his own reasons why adam didn't text back before and letting all these thoughts fester without actually trying to communicate any of it -- and ronan finally calls. he can't see adam, he can't touch him, he can just hear his voice, and there's no trace of the accent whatsoever. he now sounds like a stranger. everything changing -- adam changing -- was probably one of ronan's biggest fears about adam leaving for college, and now it's like ronan's got tangible proof of that.

i don't think i can articulate this quite how i want to, but it's like they both have opposing anxieties about adam's accent? idk. i don't think ronan thinks that adam doesn't love him anymore, i don't think it's as simple as that. he's just...lost. yeah.

adam dampening down his accent is entirely to do with himself and his own complicated emotions towards it, but on the other hand it's also something ronan can point to as a very obvious change in adam that could make him spiral into larger and darker thoughts about what it means for them. it's not actually about the accent, not really.

[sixofravensandfoxes]

The Gangsey playing Among Us

Gansey

does Not understand at first

“i saw blue go in the vents how do i do that?”

keeps getting lost while doing the tasks

eventually he figures it out and is a good crewmate™️

always fixes sabotages

always finishes his tasks and encourages everyone to do the same

“come ON who still hasn’t done their tasks?!?! we’re so CLOSE guys”

let’s be real his screen name is probably glendower or “the raven king”

he also probably picks orange for the pig

hilariously defends the impostor when voting and is HURT when he finds out who it was

Adam

picks red because of the coca-cola shirt

(un)surprisingly very good??? like he’s the best out of the gangsey??

he’s really good at tasks and gets them done first

he’s also good at fixing sabotages but usually leaves that to gansey so he can try to find the impostor instead

hangs out in security and admin to figure out who’s the impostor

very good at reading others and he’s always the first one to figure out who the impostor is

mr “unknowable” parrish is also an AMAZING liar

after a kill he immediately vents away and creates an alibi in front of everyone

he’s often one of the last crewmates standing

Blue

either she ironically picks the color blue or refuses to be it, I can’t decide

she plays with her family at 300 Fox Way and they always beat her bc they’re, well, psychic so blue is really good from her practice trying to outsmart maura and calla and orla

often gets distracted doing tasks because she thinks someone’s “sus,” much to gansey’s disappointment

doesn’t bother fixing sabotages bc she knows gansey or adam will do it

always sticks with someone (usually noah or henry) to prove her innocence

quick to accuse others based on the smallest piece of evidence

sometimes she’s right, more often she’s not

“i saw someone vent near weapons and the only person i found over there was henry so it has to be him”

sabotages a lot as an impostor to try and get gansey out

she and adam are an unbeatable impostor duo

Ronan

definitely picks black

probably has a pet to follow him named after chainsaw

he also does Not understand but he’s worse than gansey

never does his tasks and gansey yells at him

he HATES the one where you have to swipe a card in admin

definitely does not bother fixing sabotages

ends up at the wrong place at the wrong time and gets accused for standing over a body

he’s not a terrible impostor but he doesn’t know all the secrets to be a GOOD one

he gets lost a lot and doesn’t know where the vents lead so he avoids using them

he does get better eventually since matthew loves the game and wants to play with him and declan

whenever ronan’s impostor he always targets declan first

Henry

definitely the most chaotic player

calls emergency meetings for E V E R Y thing

“guys guys guys I card swiped first try!!!!”

does visuals a lot to prove his innocence

also very quick to accuse anyone based on the smallest amount of evidence

he and blue dominate the chat

starts fights in the chat to draw attention away from himself when he’s impostor

sabotages every few minutes and likes to lock his victims in the room, vent to them, and finish them off

probably wears the flamingo hat or smth very similar

Noah

the guy who gets killed first and wanders around as a ghost for the rest of the game

very good crewmate, does all his tasks even when he’s dead

quiet in the chat, skips voting a lot, and doesn’t like to pin blame on others

often wins as the silent impostor bc no one ever suspects him

lives in the vents and is great at sneak killing

hangs around blue a lot when he’s a crewmate and he follows her around as a ghost

Bonus:

Matthew

the reason the lynch brothers both originally downloaded the game

he’s not particularly good at being either the crewmate or impostor but he has a lot of fun playing and ronan and declan love seeing him happy

he gets distracted doing his tasks and likes to follow other players around to see if they’re impostors

he most definitely wears weird hats and changes his color every game

he loves pink, lime, yellow, orange, cyan, etc

he’s not particularly good at being impostor but somehow no one ever votes him out bc he’s pure™️

Declan

only plays bc matthew forces him and ronan

secretly really enjoys it

he probably picks brown or some other very boring color

alternatively he goes with cyan or lime bc man is repressed™️ and just wants to express himself

if you thought adam was good, wait till you see declan

no one ever suspects boring declan they don’t even think he knows how to play well

man has LOTS of practice hiding himself and is an amazing liar

responsible crewmate, does all his tasks efficiently and then looks for clues for the impostor

he and adam are an unstoppable crewmate team and impostor team

yes I want adam/declan team up in cdth2 what gave that away?

[non-mortem-somni-fratrem]

Hi! Okay, first of all, Henry is my favourite character in TRC, so I'd like to ask headcanons about him slowly becoming part of the gangsey, even if he feels like an outsider, being the last arrived, and fears to not be able to become one of them...but with time he becomes just as important and loved as the others and maybe they notice his fear bc they all look out for each other?

Oh wow 🥺

Henry has a hell of a time with Ronan in the beginning (like everybody else because Ronan is a jealous little piece of shit)

Blue and Gansey basically have adopted him and drag him along all the time.

Cinema? Yeah, I bring Henry.

Dinner at Nino's? I call Henry and ask him if he's hungry too.

Late nights at Monmouth? Henry you want to join us, don't you?

Ronan despises it and Gansey's hearteyes for him.

Adam understands at first that Henry won't leave the next time and tries to arrange the situation to be okay for both of them.

It's hard at first because we know Henry is that spoiled kid. That kind Adam really doesn't like. Somehow he thinks Ronan and Gansey as his spoiled brats are enough.

Then somehow he starts to actually listen to what Henry says and fast he thinks he's really okay.

They still hang out a lot and at one time in Winter Henry has catched the flu and lost his voice for a time. Writing everything down is super annoying but what should he do.

Then obe evening Ronan comes out of his room and tosses Henry a braclet.

"It speaks for you, Cheng but just shut up"

Gansey and Adam share a look and start smirking and Blue kisses Ronan on his shoulder (she can't reach his cheek for sure).

"Ew, Maggot"

From the place where Henry's sitting comes a "Thank you" in pretty much his voice and then he starts smiling too.

[the-ace-with-spades]

all the pynch fics that I'll write at some point

(I'm sad bc of MI so I thought I'll make this list even though no one asked and will never ask)

untitled, self-indulgent Ace Adam, post-RK fic

based on my experience and realization that I'm, in fact, ace

or the boys are experimenting more and more and Adam realizes he doesn't enjoy the sexual stuff, cue miscommunication, avoidance, the discovery of aesthetic attraction and the horrible experience of not knowing how to tell your boyfriend

a different kind of fake dating au

this is just my love for Declan and Declan & Adam semi-friendship

Declan and Adam are both studying poli science at the same uni. Both hate dating. Both have to attend posh parties. For the sake of not having the problem of bringing plus-ones, they decide to fake date. Cue Matty hearing about 'Dec's boyfriend' and insisting he should come for Christmas. Cue Ronan meeting a hot guy - Adam - at the gas station on Christmas Eve and panicking when he sees him in his own house an hour later

the vague 'Happiest Season' AU bc I dissociated watching that movie (alive Lynches AU)

Ronan asks Adam, his boyfriend of six months, to come with him to the family Christmas party. He, however, does not mention that he's not out to his family. Cue drama™

single parent au with a twist??

Ronan is a single dad. He and Adam had been dating for two years. Problem? Ronan's daughter, Opal, still absolutely hates him.

meniere's disease au that I'm not so sure about

Adam is an unlucky bastard and, last year of college, loses even more hearing. Cue learning how to manage life again

(I'm weary bc I was a hearing aid person in school and hate how adam's hearing is just skipped in trc but also I'm not deaf and only knew some people with meniere's so like should i write it? i prob won't)

domestic bliss aka the fic that is gonna be a full-blown novel and is actually planned

angst-with-happy-ending fic that spiralled in my mind when I was binge-watching five seasons of criminal minds

Ronan and Adam's daughter gets kidnapped and their lives slowly start to drift apart while they start to hate each other. Years later, just before the police wants to close their case and declare her death, they reconnect to try, for the last time, find her.

Summary: Five years ago, Ronan and Adam lost their little girl. Two years ago, Adam asked for a divorce and Ronan gave it to him. A year and a half ago, Ronan saw Adam for the last time.

And now Ronan was driving the car through the Pennsylvania state border, with Adam navigating the map in the passenger seat.

[portokali]

hi im very tired but i had to write bc ur tags on trc as neverland!!!!! im so!!! yes this makes so much sense. also noah as the fairies bc he is kept alive because the others believe in him and as long as he’s believed in(remembered) he has energy!!?? ok sorry for rambling like an idiot but i love trc and i love peter pan and i never thought about it this way but it makes so much sense.

bestie yes!!! i hadn't thought of it this way until i saw the post where everything was combined together - but i always felt maggie's tweet to be true about the dynamics within the gangsey, that gansey acts like the most adult and put-together of them all but is in fact the one refusing to grow up (and more often than not it's everyone else babysitting him tho in his internal monologue he feels like he's doing all the babysitting lol - again, because of some persumed responsibility towards his friends). "he wanted to quest forever", the boy who died but never grew up... also you're so Correct about noah as a fairy he just wanted to be remembered believed in oh i'm gonna cry.

also; his lost boys; adam and ronan are both very lost at the beginning & clinging to him emotionally at least to some degree each (which again! reinforces his sense of responsibility over them; an illusion of adulthood!), but they grow before him (circa bllb i'd say) into his magicians instead. blue was never rly lost tho, & i'd argue that's largely thanks to her family, she has this strong support system & reassurance in herself that all boys lack (initially at least). "you'd have already found it" - the hunt itself takes new shape & purpose when blue joins the group and it's largely because she and gansey fall in love & because ronan and adam grow up (and fall in love) before him... like this boy has an entire team rooting for him and following him and yet they all reach a point before he does where the quest becomes something else to them than it is to him

[faeparrish]

idk about you but one thing that keeps startling me when re-reading the trc (+outtakes) is the easy physicality about adam and ronan's friendship even when they didn't know each other that well (see: pre-bllb). like, ronan throwing his leg over adam's in tdt? with adam not even questioning it? or the deleted scene from tdt, when ronan slaps adam's cheek and tugs on his tie? again, adam only smiles. for two ppl who aren't really that close, all these gestures seem almost too familiar/intimate...

ohhh yeah that’s so true ! I love that about them, they’re very physical and gestural in their friendship, even early on. idk how long they had known one another at the beginning of the series (maggie’s timelines are wildly constradictory and impossible to figure out lmao) but we know they were both better friends with gansey than with one another at the beginning of trb. they were close enough to show their friendship in unspoken but assured ways though — the scene where adam stops declan from coming into monmouth because he knows ronan needs to be alone, and the part where ronan is cramming for his finals bc adam had lost so much in making sure ronan didn’t get arrested for fighting his dad. so altho they weren’t as close to one another as they were with gansey, they still looked out for one another.

and yeah the interesting thing about the touch between them is that it’s usually ronan initiating it and adam allowing him — casually at first (like the examples you gave) and then more significantly (like the part where ronan is examining adam’s hand). I think it kinda mirrors how their relationship began too because ronan was the first to kiss adam, and adam let him initiate it. and w the metaphor of how adam “let the storm soak him”, he’d seen this coming for a while with all of those smaller moments, so again he didn’t stop it or withdraw from it. he let ronan (aka. the storm) completely overwhelm him with it — gradually at first with all the small touches and moments between them, and then all at once with that first kiss.

[pipedreil]

3 and 15!!

i am now realizing that reblogging two different ask games was not a good idea as i have no clue which one ur talking abt so im going to answer it for both of them 

3.  characters you would marry in an instant?

i am ready to take mr kevin day’s hand in marriage any time, as well as finch from the hazel wood bc he’s babie

& 3. Are there any fictional characters you relate to/identify with?

ronan from trc and i lost our dads at around the same age so i relate a lot to how he dealt with that (and we are both gay disasters around pretty people)

15. does it bother you if a character shares the same name of someone you know well?

not really since my brother’s name is adam and i’ve read at least three books where one of the main characters is also named adam

&  15. Describe your current mood in emojis.

😌🧚‍♀️🐸🌿🌱🌲🍂🍄  (im cottage coreing my acnh island dont @ me)

[of-magic-and-monsters]

yes hello i’m trying very hard to find a fic on ao3, please let me know if you can help.

it’s a raven cycle pynch au where the gangsey lives in LA. ronan is a boom mic holder guy and does sound editing for movies and adam, gansey, and blue are all lawyers/work in a law office.

(idk how to do one of those Keep Reading links but this is where i’d put one)

it’s actually a series of fics that starts as a fake relationship thing between ronan and adam before adam realizes that ronan and gansey are besties. the series goes all the way through to ronan and adam getting married.

some details i remember bc this series is very memorable (spoilers ahead!!! for both the fic and the books):

adam took his dad to court like he does in the books but bc he didn’t know gansey and ronan, he lost the case and had to go back to living with his parents

adam and ronan are stuck in traffic when ronan discovers that adam is deaf in one ear

ronan’s mom has some sort of degenerative disease, early onset alzheimer’s maybe? she lives on a ranch and ronan visits her

henry is a film producer that ronan sometimes works for

in one of the fics, ronan comes back to their apartment late and he’s dressed in a suit bc he got roped into being an extra and adam thinks he looks really hot

adam really doesn’t like his job. eventually he quits.

ronan goes through this whole process of getting a prenup so that adam would get half of everything if they get divorced BEFORE he even proposes. he gets blue to help him even though blue is in like environmental law or smth

if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading this long ass post. also i hope that this served as a good fic rec to a fic whose title or author i can’t remember because it is actually phenomenal. i will link the fic once i find it!!

[dreamersscape]

The Raven Cycle: A Liveblog (Part 4)

(Let’s just pretend the gap since my last installment was a much shorter and more reasonable period of time than it has actually been, shall we? I tried to make up for it with the length of this edition. Suuuuuper long post under the cut.)

Me, reading TDT’s opening quotations: Okay, yes, good. Taking things out of your dreams into the waking world. Got it.

Me, reading the last quote: ‘I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.’?

YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING OF MY PEOPLE, AUSTIN STRINDBERG. GET THEE HENCE.

‘He always returned with gifts, treasure, and unimaginable amounts of money, but to Ronan, the most wondrous thing was Niall himself. Every parting felt like it would be the last, and so every return was like a miracle.’ RONANNNNNNN. (Is it weird that it feels like Ronan is supposed to be my favorite bc he seems closest to my type and goodness knows I can relate to the grieving-a-father feels, but that’s not really the case so far? I love him dearly, but it feels like I should love him more. Weird? Not weird? I dunno.)

*carefully takes notes about the alleged details of Ronan’s birth because I know now every minor detail is actually Very Important*

‘Theoretically, Blue Sargent was probably going to kill one of these boys.’ Oh, good, it’s only a theoretical death. Glad we got that sorted out. Guess I can stop worrying about it now, right? :P

'Adam’s hand glided over her bare elbow. The touch was a whisper in a language she didn’t speak very well.’ I really like this line! Also, somewhat sadly, relateable.

'It had five tiny white buttons: four arranged in a cross shape, and one off by itself. To Blue, that fifth button was like Adam. Still working toward the same purpose as the other four. But no longer quite as close as the others.’ Oh, so we’re going to make my heart hurt over Adam Parrish in the first ten pages of the book. Fine.

'In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys.’ Aw, those lines sound familiar. ;) And we’re all right there with ya, Blue.

'The dorms were emptier than they would’ve been during school term, but they were not empty.’ Whoops unrelated-to-TRC-but-nevertheless-on-brand feels ahoy.

So it’s been long enough since I read TRB that I can’t recall if I had any particular feelings about Declan then, but definitely feeling pretty sympathetic towards him now, what with his father’s seeming dismissive attitude toward him and the assault from this Gray Man. Also, have I read the word Greywaren before? Not sure.

Oh. So Ronan is the Greywaren, then. Guess that answers that.

’Mom is nothing without him’? Woooow, Declan. Wow. A bit less sympathy, now. (Maybe there’s something about their mother I don’t know yet, but still…)

’Creature was a good word for him, Ronan thought.’ Oof. He’s gonna make me eat my words, isn’t he? I already said I love you dearly, Ronan!

And now he’s gonna divert himself from his unpleasant thoughts with an external distraction. Oh good. That doesn’t mirror any of my other favorite characters at all.

'Back then, it had surprised Ronan; he hadn’t realized yet that Gansey could persuade even the sun to pause and give him the time.’ [drags a hand slowly down my face] Don’t do this to me, Maggie. Haven’t you already put me through enough with Adam and Gansey?

'His thoughtless expression was one of wonder or of pain; with Gansey they were so often the same thing.’ Well that–that’s a sentence.

’“Ronan, there’s no reason for that,” Gansey said sternly, as if Ronan had hurled a toy on the floor.’ Gonna start listing all the mom-friend!Gansey moments, 'cause I gotta.

'He laughed enough that Chainsaw abandoned her paper shredding to verify he wasn’t dying.’ This is cute, other than the implication that Ronan genuinely laughing is a all-too-rare occurrence.

’“So what you’re saying is you can’t explain it.” “I did explain it.” “No, you used nouns and verbs together in a pleasing but illogical format.”’ Hee!

I half expect tired-of-potential-and-only-being-useful-needing-something-more!Blue to break out singing ’I want much more than this provincial life/I want adventure in the great wide somewhere/I want it more than I can tell’ and I don’t say that at all in a disparaging way, that’s just what it made me think of. It’s a very understandable desire on Blue’s part.

’“Jane!” Gansey said joyfully.’ I will never tire of this. :)

'When she returned, she leaned on the table beside Adam, who touched her wrist. She didn’t know what to do in response. Touch it back? The moment had passed. She resented her body for not giving her the correct answer.’ So! Freaking! Relateable!

'Kavinsky headed directly to the large table in the back, and the postures of the other boys all changed drastically….Gansey stood, leaning against the table, and there was something threatening rather than respectful about it.’ I live a protective!Gansey appreciation life.

The Gray Man is quite a character.

Ummmm so chapter eight just hurt my soul a whole lot? Here’s a list of the culprits:

'He’d spent just two hours at the easiest of the jobs — Boyd’s Body & Paint, LLC, replacing brake pads and changing oil and finding what was making that squeaking noise there, no, there — and now, even though he was off, he was ruined for anything else. Sticky and sore and, above all else, tired, always tired.’

'The only rub was, Blue was another troubling thing. She was like Gansey in that she wanted him to explain himself. What do you want, Adam? What do you need, Adam? Want and need were words that got eaten smaller and smaller: freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless-steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blue’s hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes. What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.’ (This hurt less than the 'to go home, to go home, to go home’ passage, but ONLY JUST.)

'He’d already seen the ignored, unopened envelope emblazoned with Aglionby Academy’s raven crest. For two days he’d been stepping over it, as if it might disappear if he failed to acknowledge it.’ (Ah, hello avoidant coping skills, my old friend.)

’[Adam] ached inside.’/'He still ached.’/'his spine aching, shoulders aching, soul aching’

'They stared at each other, both hurt.’/'He tried not to let it sound like he was still hurt, but he was, and it did.’/'She tried not to let it sound like she was hurt, but she was, and it did.’

’What do you want, Adam? He didn’t even know.’ (T.T)

'His wide eyes and gaunt face peered back at him, troubled but not unusual.’

I’m so done, he thought. No more. Please, I can’t take any more.’ (SAME.)

'The difference in tuition between this year’s and next was twenty-four hundred dollars. That number again. It couldn’t be a coincidence.’ (SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE GANSEY/ADAM TENSION/CONFLICT/FIGHTING. WHEN DO WE GET TO THE GETTING BETTER PART?)

'They couldn’t hurt Gansey. Nothing could hurt him; people who said money couldn’t buy everything hadn’t seen anyone as rich as the Aglionby boys. They were untouchable, immune to life’s troubles. Only death couldn’t be swiped away by a credit card.’ (Oh Adam honey, you don’t even knooooow. :()

Adam! Some people show and feel love through acts of service! It’s not an inherently bad thing! Concern and the desire to help are not the same thing as pity!

Also, Blue’s “Then don’t be pitiful!” response was kinda strange, even for an impulsively perturbed remark? Just felt weird.

'She was looking at the box that served as his nightstand. Somehow it had moved several feet away from the bed. The side was badly dented, its former contents scattered violently across the floor. Only now did he remember the act of kicking the box, but not the decision to kick it.’ (Crap.)

'He calmed enough to remember that if he waited long enough, carefully analyzing how it felt, the emotion would lose its inertia. It was the same as physical pain. The more he tried to mentally decide what made pain hurt, the less his brain seemed able to remember the pain at all.’

'He’d never escape, not really. Too much monster blood in him. He’d left the den, but his breeding betrayed him. And he knew why he was pitiful. It wasn’t because he had to pay for his school or because he had to work for a living. It was because he was trying to be something he could never be. The sham was pitiful.’

'Some nights he lured himself to sleep by imagining how he would word the favor for Glendower. He needed to get the words exactly right. Now he rolled phrases around his mouth, desperately reaching for one that would comfort him. Ordinarily, words would tumble and lull through his mind, but this time, all he could think was Fix me.’ (On a related note, I’m dead.)

'He had a strange, disconcerting feeling that he couldn’t trust his senses. Like he was tasting an image or smelling a feeling or touching a sound. It was the same as just a few minutes before, the idea that he’d glimpsed a slightly wrong reflection of himself. Adam’s previous worries vanished, replaced with a more immediate concern for this ragged body he was carting around in. He’d been hit so many times. He’d already lost his hearing in his left ear. Maybe something else had been destroyed on one of those tense, wretched nights.’ (*Spontaneously revives to continue worrying myself to death over Adam Parrish* WHY CAN’T I TAKE CARE OF HIM?)

'Ronan, Noah, and Gansey were at the Dollar City in Henrietta, loitering. Theoretically, they were there for batteries. Practically, they were there because both Blue and Adam had work, Ronan’s shapeless anger always got worse at night, and Dollar City was one of the few stores in Henrietta that allowed pets.’ These stupid codependent teens.

“Hello? Oh, hey,” Gansey said to the phone, touching a notebook with a handgun printed on the cover. The oh, hey was accompanied by a definite change in the timbre of his voice. That meant it was Adam’ [tries to feel the joy I deserve at this past my intense anxiety about the probable clashing over the tuition thing]

'Ronan rested his forehead on the topmost shelf. The metal edge snarled against his skull, but he didn’t move. At night, the longing for home was ceaseless and omniscient, an airborne contaminant. He saw it in Dollar City’s cheap oven mitts — that was his mother at dinnertime. He heard it in the slam of the cash register drawer — that was his father coming home at midnight. He smelled it in the sudden whiff of air freshener — that was the family trips to New York. Home was so close at night. He could be there in twenty minutes. He wanted to smash everything off these shelves.’ He and Adam both want to go hoooome and I wish I could provide that for them and turns out I am actually Gansey.

'“Glitter,” whispered Noah reverentially, giving it a shake.’ Truly Noah is their light in the darkness. I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHH.

'Farther down the aisle, Gansey suggested to the phone, “You could come stay at Monmouth. For the night.”’ Like I said. Also, I really, really wish I could hear both sides of this phone conversation.

'Sometimes Ronan thought Adam was so used to the right way being painful that he doubted any path that didn’t come with agony.’ I mean, fair. And heartbreaking.

'Gansey’s back was turned to them. “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ramirez? I didn’t talk to anyone at the church. Yes, twenty-four hundred dollars. I know that part. I —”’ Oh no. It’s happening.

'But one of the marvelous things about being Ronan Lynch was that no one ever expected him to do anything nice for anyone.’ I would hug you Ronan, except there is now more Adam 'n’ Gansey friction and I’m really bad at handling it!

'Abruptly, Ronan’s entire body went cold. Not a little chilly, but utterly cold. The sort of cold that dries the mouth and slows the blood. His toes went numb, and then his fingers….Then Noah reappeared in a violent sputter, like the power crackling back on. His fingers clutched Ronan’s arm. Cold seeped from the point of contact as Noah dragged heat to become visible.’ Oh, so Noah can do that with Ronan too? Because of his greywaren-ness?

'“I lost …” Noah struggled for words. “There wasn’t air. It went away. The — the line!” “The ley line?” Gansey asked. Noah nodded once, a sloppy thing that was sort of a shrug at the same time. “There was nothing … left for me.”’ Not allowed. Just saying.

'He didn’t say, Or maybe something terrible happened to Adam that day he sacrificed himself in Cabeswater. Maybe he’s messed up all of Henrietta by waking up the ley line. Because they couldn’t talk about that. Just like they couldn’t talk about Adam stealing the Camaro that night. Or about him basically doing everything Gansey had asked him not to. If Adam was stupid about his pride, Gansey was stupid about Adam.’ Yes, we know. :)

'From Ronan’s room, he heard Noah’s laugh. He and Ronan were throwing various objects from the second-story window to the parking lot below. There was a terrific crash.’ Having witnessed my younger brother doing basically the same thing once, I can vouch for the authenticity of this teenage-boy activity.

'Once, he had dreamt that he found Glendower. It wasn’t the actual finding, but the day after. He wouldn’t forget the sensation of the dream. It hadn’t been joy, but instead, the absence of pain. He couldn’t forget that lightness. The freedom.’ Yeah, don’t we all dream about the absence of pain. *buries face in hands* OH GANSEY BOY.

’“Do you want me to talk to her?” This was something he definitely, 100 percent felt certain in his guts that he had no interest in doing. “I’m really bad at talking, Gansey,” Adam said earnestly. “And you’re really good at it. Maybe — maybe if it just comes up natural?” Gansey’s shoulders collapsed; his breath fogged the glass and vanished. “Of course.” “Thanks.” Adam paused. “I just want something to be simple.” So do I, Adam. So do I.’ This right here? This A Whoooole Lot. Is there anything you wouldn’t do for Adam if he asked, Gansey?

'Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, “He threw me out the window!” Ronan’s voice sang out from behind his closed door: “You’re already dead!”’ OH. MY. GOODNESS.

’"You should come over.” “Not tonight,” replied Adam. I’m losing him, Gansey thought. I’m losing him to Cabeswater. He had thought that by staying away from the forest, he’d keep the old Adam — put off the consequences of whatever had happened that night when everything started to go awry. But maybe it just didn’t matter. Cabeswater would take him regardless.’ I dream of the absence of pain!!!

'His skin shivered and crawled, and he realized it was crawling with hornets, the ones that had killed Gansey all those years ago. There weren’t many this time, only a few hundred. Sometimes he dreamt cars full of them, houses full of them, worlds full of them. Sometimes these hornets killed Ronan, too, in his dreams.’ Oh, Ronan.

’Arbores loqui latine. The trees speak Latin. “You’ve done this before,” she said. Time was a circle, a rut, a worn tape Ronan never tired of playing.’ Huh. Has Ronan been dreaming of Cabeswater for years and years?

'Curled on the mattress, [Adam] covered his face with his summer-hot arm. Sometimes, if he blocked his mouth and nose, just this side of suffocation, sleep would overthrow him.’ THAT DOESN’T SOUND HEALTHY, MY BOY. :(

'He was awake enough to think of the invitation from Gansey. There might be an internship in there. Adam knew it was a favor. Did that make it wrong? He’d said no for so long that he didn’t know when to say yes….He hated the careful way Gansey had asked him about it. Tiptoeing, just like Adam had learned to tiptoe around his father. He needed a reset button. Just push the reset button on Adam Parrish and start him again.’ I am sad. (But maaaaybe he’s starting to reconsider the idea that he can never accept hep of any kind?)

'After he had exhausted this line of thought, Ronan gave in to the brief privilege of hating himself, as he always did in church. There was something satisfying about acknowledging this hatred, something relieving about this little present he allowed himself each Sunday.’ Oh, Ronan.

'“Hey, pal,” Matthew whispered. He was the only person who could get away with calling Ronan pal.’ Awww. :)

'Matthew Lynch was a bear of a boy, square and solid and earnest. His head was covered with soft, golden curls completely unlike any of his other family members. And in his case, the perfect Lynch teeth were framed by an easy, dimpled smile. He had two brands of smile: the one that was preceded by a shy dip of his chin, a dimple, and then BAM, smile. And the one that teased for a moment before BAM, an infectious laugh. Females of all ages called him adorable. Males of all ages called him buddy. Matthew failed at many more things than either of his older brothers, but unlike Declan or Ronan, he always tried his hardest.’ Whoops, I’m attached.

'Ronan had dreamt one thousand nightmares about something happening to him.’ *rubs heart*

'A lady reached over the top of Noah to pat Matthew’s head fondly before continuing down the aisle. She didn’t seem to care that he was fifteen, which was all right, because he didn’t, either. Both Ronan and Declan observed this interaction with the pleased expressions of parents watching their prodigy at work.’ Once again: Awww. :)

'Blue very much liked having the boys over to her house. Their presence at the house was agreeable for several different reasons….And the third reason was that it suggested permanence. Blue had acquaintances at school, people she liked. But they weren’t forever. While she was friendly with a lot of them, there was no one that she wanted to commit to for a lifetime. And she knew this was her fault. She’d never been any good at having casual friends. For Blue, there was family — which had never been about blood relation at 300 Fox Way — and then there was everyone else. When the boys came to her house, they stopped being everyone else.’ THEY’RE FAMILY NOW. <3

'Crossly, Blue realized that Gansey had now called her Jane so often that it felt strange to hear him say her real name.’ Embrace it, Blue. Embraaace it. :D

'He hid the insatiable wanting well, but now that she’d seen it once, she couldn’t stop seeing it. But he wouldn’t be able to explain it to Maura. And he would never really have to explain it to Blue. It was his something more.’ Awww. :)

(Sorry this liveblog is devolving mostly into either EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE or But this is cute! and if that is starting to become boring…)

’"What did they die of?” “Mom always said ‘meddling.’ Gansey completely forgot they were being secretive and let out a tremendous laugh. It was a powerful thing, that laugh. He only did it once, but his eyes remained shaped like it. Something inside her did a complicated tug. Oh no! she thought. But then she calmed herself. Richard C. Gansey III has a nice mouth. Now I know he has nice eyes when he laughs, too. This still isn’t love. She also thought: Adam. Remember Adam.’ 1.) I hope this line of rationalization works out for you, Blue. ;) 2.) I am still feeling torn, though. Blue and Adam are cute together. 3.) I’d be okay with a Blue-Gansey-Adam OT3 though.

'Maura frowned. In a low voice, she said, “I think I need to have a conversation with that boy.” “Someone does,” Calla replied, heading up the stairs. Each stair groaned a protest for which she punished the next with a stomp. “Not me. I’ve outgrown train wrecks.” Blue, alarmed, said, “Is he a train wreck?”| Her mother clucked her tongue. “Calla likes drama. Train wreck! When a train takes a long time to go off the tracks, I don’t like to call it a wreck. I like to call it a derailment.”  From upstairs, Blue heard Calla’s delighted cackle. “I hate both of you,” Blue said as her mother laughed and galloped up the stairs to join Calla. “You’re supposed to use your powers for good, you know!” After a moment, Adam said to her, without lifting his eyes, “I could hear y’all, you know.” Blue hoped fervently that he was only talking about Maura and Calla and not about her kitchen conversation with Gansey. “Do you think you’re a train wreck?” “That would mean I was on the tracks to start with,” he replied.’ I would just like to say that I am miffed by this passage on Adam’s behalf. Thank you.

The chapter where Mr. Gray comes to 300 Fox Way was… interesting.

'Gansey, a furious sun, glowed from the other side of the universe, his gravitational pull too distant to affect Adam.’ WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME MAGGIE I CAN NEVER RECOVER.

So yeah, I just read the part where Adam is thinking back to how he and Gansey became friends and I think my heart just burst from emotional overload.

'Sometimes Adam wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t stopped that day. What would be happening to him right now?’ Sometimes, Allan wondered what would’ve happened if Robin hadn’t stepped out of the trees that day. What would be happening to him right now? SORRY, I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Also, it only just occurred to me that Allan and Adam are A-names and Robin and Richard (even if that’s not what Gansey goes by) are R-names. This makes me so unreasonably happy!

'Gansey was giddy now that they’d decided to go back to Cabeswater. He hated nothing more than standing still. He ordered Ronan to put on some terrible music — Ronan was always too happy to oblige in this department — and then he abused the Camaro at every stoplight on the way out of town. “Put your back into it!” Gansey shouted breathlessly. He was talking to himself, of course, or to the gearbox. “Don’t let it smell fear on you!” Blue wailed each time the engine revved up, but not unhappily. Noah played the drums on the back of Ronan’s headrest. Adam, for his part, was not wild, but he did his best not to appear unwild, so as not to ruin it for the others.’ REEELATABLLLLE!!!

'Adam felt like he was watching it all from outside. He felt like he was about to catch another image, like a flick of the tarot cards he’d looked at earlier. Was that someone standing by the side of the road? I can’t trust my eyes.’ Leave him aloooone. :(

'Gansey leaned back, head thrown to the side, drunken and silly with happiness. “I love this car,” he said, loud to be heard over the engine. “I should buy four more of them. I’ll just open the door of one to fall into the other. One can be a living room, one can be my kitchen, I’ll sleep in one …” “And the fourth? Butler’s pantry?” Blue shouted. “Don’t be so selfish. Guest room.”’ He’s adorable.

Huh. Cabeswater’s gone!

'Adam felt that the Pig’s status perfectly encapsulated how he felt. It was not really dead, just broken. He was held inside the question of what it meant for him if Cabeswater was gone. Why can’t things just be simple?’  While this is a legitimate concern, Adam, to be fair, just a few moments ago you were worrying about was going to happen when you returned to Cabeswater for the first time after your sacrifice. Poor guy’s anxious over everything. :/

'Ronan leapt out of the car and slammed the door. The thing about Ronan Lynch, Adam had discovered, was that he wouldn’t — or couldn’t — express himself with words. So every emotion had to be spelled out in some other way. A fist, a fire, a bottle. Now Cabeswater was missing and the Pig was hobbled, and he needed to go have a silent shouting fit with his body. In the back window, Adam saw Ronan pick up a rock from the side of the road and hurl it into the creeper.  “Well, that’s helpful,” Blue said tersely.’ 1.) [Fond but exasperated] Oh Ronan. 2.) I appreciate your reaction, Blue. You’re not wrong.

'“I’m calling Declan,” Gansey said. “And telling him to bring a battery.” Ronan told Gansey what he thought of this plan, very precisely, with a lot of compound words that even Adam hadn’t heard before. Gansey nodded, but he also dialed Declan’s number. Afterward, he turned to Ronan, who leaned his cheek hard enough against the top of the window to make a dent in his skin.’ Please stop dealing with difficult emotions/situations by causing yourself pain, Ronan, honey.

'Gansey rounded on Adam, clutching his own headrest and looking behind him. “Why is it gone?”’ Why is my mental picture of this so endearing?

'Declan’s Volvo glided up, as quiet as the Pig was loud. Ronan said, “Move up, move up” to Blue until she scooted the passenger seat far enough for him to clamber behind it into the backseat. He hurriedly sprawled back in the seat, throwing one jean-covered leg over the top of Adam’s and laying his head in a posture of thoughtless abandon. By the time Declan arrived at the driver’s side window, Ronan looked as if he had been asleep for days.’ Oh, Ronan. What am I going to do with you?

'And as he sat there, observing the set of Declan’s shoulders and the way his eyes looked, he realized something startling. Declan was afraid. Probably it wasn’t apparent to Gansey, who was fairly oblivious, nor to Blue, who didn’t know what Declan looked like ordinarily. And Ronan’s feelings about his older brother were like blood in the water; he wouldn’t be able to see through the bilious clouds. But to Adam, who’d spent a fair amount of his life afraid — not only afraid, but trying to hide it — it was obvious.’ [Gansey voice] I am right to have Allan feels here and I will not be made to feel bad about it! (Also, in blast-from-the-past news, I’m really close to finally done with putting my anxiety-and-Allan thoughts into words and I’m excited for that.)

I love when Noah senses one of the other boys is in distress and goes to them and does his ghostly best to comfort or assist them. <3

'He thought about the day he’d been stung to death by hornets and lived anyway. Gansey ran over the memory until he no longer felt the thrill of hearing Glendower’s name whispered in his ear, and then instead gave himself over to feeling sorry for himself, that he should have so many friends and yet feel so very alone. He felt it fell to him to comfort them, but never the other way around. As it should be, he thought, abruptly angry with himself. You’ve had it the easiest. What good is all your privilege, you soft, spoiled thing, if you can’t stand on your own legs? ’ OH HONEY :( (But Noah does try!)

'“It’s not just the blood,” Ronan said. His chest moved up and down with his breath. “Something else got out, too.”’ Uh-oh.

Phew. They dispatched the nightmare creature while remaining mostly unscathed. Although they needn’t go around asking each other, "Are you murdered?” with the reply, “I think so.” anymore, please.

'“There was another one,” he said. “It got away.”’ Well, that’s not good!

'“It’s for the distasteful thing,” Gansey said. He plucked at the T-shirt with deprecating fingers. “I’m rather slovenly at the moment, I know.”’ [Fond, amused sputtering]

Oh, they’re going to the Barns!

'Gansey, a bit of the gallows in his voice, advised, “Poke its eye.”’ [Confused, taken-aback sputtering]

'“It feels the same as when you guys lived here,” Gansey said finally. “It seems like it should be different.” “Did you come here a lot?” Blue asked.  He exchanged a glance with Ronan. “Often enough.” He didn’t say what Ronan was thinking, which was that Gansey was far more of a brother to Ronan than Declan had ever been.’ Brothers <3<3<3

'Ronan loved it so much. He nearly couldn’t bear it. He wanted to destroy something.’ That’s…one reaction to profound love. (Yes, I know. Profound love for something that’s been stripped away from you.)

'“Ronan Lynch,” he said. It was the voice Ronan couldn’t not listen to. It was sure in every way that Ronan was not. “Stop this right now. Go see your mother. And then we’re leaving.”’ More Mom-Friend!Gansey.

'Ronan walked directly up to her, close enough to see that she had not changed a bit since the last time he had seen her, months and months ago. Though his breath moved the fine hairs around her temples, she didn’t react to her son’s presence. Her chest rose and fell. Her eyes stayed closed. Non mortem, somni fratrem. Not death, but his brother, sleep. Blue whispered, “Just like the other animals.”  The truth — he’d known it all along, really, if he thought about it — burrowed into him. Blue was right. His home was populated by things and creatures from Niall Lynch’s dreams, and his mother was just another one of them.’ Huh.

'My soul’s in enough peril as it is.” At this, Gansey’s face turned to a genuine frown and he looked as if he was about to say something. Then he just shook his head a little….“She didn’t try to see the future. It’s not something she became; it’s something she is. I could just as easily say that you’re evil because you can take things from your dreams!” Ronan said, “Yeah, you could.” Gansey’s frown deepened. Again he opened his mouth and closed it.’ Same, Gansey. Same.

'Ronan looked at him. That look, Blue thought. Ronan Lynch would do anything for Gansey. I probably would, too, she thought.’ If only he knew it. *rubs heart*

'Blue and Gansey exchanged a look. Blue’s look said, I’m so, so sorry. Gansey’s said, Am I the pretty one?’ Bless his cotton socks.

'Ronan thought of what Declan had said all those months before: Mom is nothing without Dad. He’d been right.’ Okay, but does Declan know about this stuff and how it works?

'Ronan interrupted the silence. “Cabeswater. Cabeswater is a dream.” Calla stopped rotating. “You don’t have to tell me I’m right,” Ronan said. He thought of all the times he had dreamt of Cabeswater’s old trees; how familiar it had felt to walk there; how the trees had known his name. He was tangled in their roots, somehow, and they, in his veins. “If Mom is in Cabeswater, she’ll wake up.” Calla stared at him. Silence was never a wrong answer.’ Okay then.

'But those words of Declan’s needled Ronan: She’s nothing without Dad. It was like he knew. Ronan wanted badly to know how much Declan knew, but it wasn’t like he could ask him.’ No, that would be too easy.

'“Says you and Dad were both dreamers,” Matthew said, “and you’re going to make us lose everything.” Ronan sat very still. He was so still so quickly that Chainsaw froze as well, her head tilted toward the youngest Lynch brother, purloined tuna sandwich forgotten. Declan knew about their father. Declan knew about their mother. Declan knew about him.’ Curious. Very curious.

The Gray Man is going to Monmouth Manufacturing!

'He had spent forty-eight hours more or less awake and restless and then, on the third day, he had bought a side-scan sonar device, two window airconditioners, a leather sofa, and a pool table. “Now do you feel better?” Adam had asked drily. Gansey had replied, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Hey, man,” Ronan said, “I like the pool table.” The entire situation made Blue apoplectic.’ Tag yourself; I’m Adam with a dash of Ronan. Pool tables are cool.

’"You are still wearing those incredibly stupid boat shoes, and of all the things that you have bought, you still haven’t replaced them!” Gansey, bewildered, observed his feet. The movement of his toes was barely visible through the tops of his Top-Siders. Really, in light of recent events, these shoes were the only things that were right in the world. “I like these shoes.”’ Update: he’s still adorable.

’[Gansey] exchanged a glance with Adam, because it had to be done’ 1) What does this mean? 2) I love them SO MUCH!

'In some parallel universe, there was a Gansey who could tell Blue that he found the ten inches of her bare calves far more tantalizing than the thirteen cubic feet of bare skin Orla sported. But in this universe, that was Adam’s job. } He was in a terrible mood.’ Oooooh. 👀

'So these were the people Greenmantle had warned him about. Fellow seekers of the Greywaren, whatever it might be.’ Curious and curiouser.

'Blue cheerfully spit a mouthful of brown water on his boat shoes. It pooled in the canvas over his toes. “Good God,” he said. “Now they’re really boat shoes,” she replied.’ Blue’s crusade continues.

'He knew what it was. He just didn’t know why it was. He said, “Well, that’s a wheel off the Camaro.” And it was. It looked identical to the wheels currently residing on the Pig — except this wheel was clearly several hundred years old. The discolored surface was pocked and lumpy. With all of the deterioration, the elegantly symmetrical wheel didn’t appear that out of place beside the shield boss. If you overlooked the tattered Chevrolet logo in the middle. “Do you remember losing one a little while ago?” Ronan asked. “Like, five hundred years or so?”’ Aggressively the Most Curious.

'Blue held his gaze, unflinching. Crisp, she replied, “None at all.” And it was a lie. It should not have been, but it was, and Gansey, who prized honesty above nearly every other thing, knew it when he heard it. Blue Sargent cared whether or not he was interested in Orla. She cared a lot. As she whirled toward the truck with a dismissive shake of her head, he felt a dirty sort of thrill.’ Oh, you kids.

'“Hey, Noah.” He was too busy being ghostly to attend to her, however. Currently, he was engaged in one of his creepiest activities: reenacting his own death. He glanced around the tiny yard as if appraising the forest glen containing only himself and his friend Barrington Whelk. Then he let out a terrible, mangled cry as he was struck from behind by an invisible skateboard. He made no sound when he was hit again, but his body jerked convincingly. Blue tried not to look as he bucked a few more times before falling to the ground. His head jerked; his legs bicycled. Blue took a deep, uneven breath. Though she had seen him do it four or five times now, it was always unsettling. Eleven minutes. That was how long the entire homicidal portrait lasted: one boy’s life destroyed in less time than it took to cook a hamburger. The last six minutes, the ones that took place after Noah had first fallen but before he actually died, were excruciating. Blue considered herself a fairly steadfast, sensible girl, but no matter how many times she heard his torn-up breath seizing in his throat, she felt a little teary. Between the twisted roots of the front yard, Noah’s body jerked and stilled, finally dead. Again.’ I feel w o u n d e d.

'They wandered to the door like that, a pretzel of dead boy and not-psychic girl.’ Don’t even look at me!

'Gleefully, Noah said, “There’s a pool table now! I’m the worst at pool ever! It’s wonderful.”’ THIS SWEET CHILD IS GIVING ME EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH.

'Gansey, pacing next to his ruined miniature Henrietta, set his eyes on Ronan. There was something intense and heedless in them. There were many versions of Gansey, but this one had been rare since the introduction of Adam’s taming presence. It was also Ronan’s favorite. It was the opposite of Gansey’s most public face, which was pure control enclosed in a paper-thin wrapper of academia. But this version of Gansey was Gansey the boy. This was the Gansey who bought the Camaro, the Gansey who asked Ronan to teach him to fight, the Gansey who contained every wild spark so that it wouldn’t show up in other versions. Was it the shield beneath the lake that had unleashed it? Orla’s orange bikini? The bashed-up remains of his rebuilt Henrietta and the fake IDs they’d returned to? Ronan didn’t really care. All that mattered was that something had struck the match, and Gansey was burning.’ #JusticeforMiniatureHenrietta

'“Don’t say anything stupid to him,” he told Gansey.’ Did I read that right? Did Ronan really just advise Gansey to be careful?

'The Gray Man recalled the buzz of his phone and patted his pockets. His phone was missing, however. Maura Sargent had stolen it while they were making out. In its place was the ten of swords: the Gray Man slain on the ground and Maura the sword driven through his heart.’ Interesting. Sorry that always seems to be my reaction to the Gray Man, but there it is.

[swiftzeldas]

2, 11, 15 for the shipping meme?

22. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.

difficult questions bc honestly i don’t think my ships have the same, hmm, “staying power” as books or shows or movies do BUT, that said:

jim/pam (the office). they are the OTP to end all OTPs. they’re the kind of relationship i always wanted to have “when i grow up.” i think the finale of the show gave pam a raw deal because it attributed her happiness to ending up with jim, which was never the case - pam’s happiness was tied into finding herself. jim, though - jim never could have had a happy ending without pam. that’s not even to say jim loves pam more than pam loves him bc that’s not true but there’s something so nice about a show that allowed the woman to find herself before she came back to love. nothing else has accomplished what jim/pam did

mia/michael (the princess diaries). idk this is a case of these books and this pairing winding their way in and out of my life from the time the first book came out in 2000 or whatever until the final book came out when i was a senior in high school. i always feel like i grew up with mia and she was never perfect and her relationship with michael was never perfect even though you could tell from book one they were DESTINED to be together. i guess i like pairings where both characters are allowed to be individuals as well as part of a relationship

charlie/claire (lost). this gets included because i think this was the first ship i had once i started really engaging with fandom on the internet. i’m not even sure if i would ship this as much if i watched Lost for the first time today as opposed to when i was 15 but despite everything they went through and how gotdamn annoying charlie is half the time they really did love each other and they were a sweet pairing on a show that did not have many “sweet” pairings lol

11. Talk about your favorite first kiss.

i answered this already but ronan and adam in the raven cycle series is a good one just because it came after three books of waiting for it to happen. payoff is always good

15. Have you ever “shipped at first sight”?

i answered this already too! i think another good example of this is matt and claire on daredevil. i mean, hello, she dragged him out of a dumpster, fixed his wounds, then helped him torture a man so like what is a girl supposed to do with that??

[cc-kouga-blog]

These Are The Days 6/9

For @quietrook

One Sunday after church, Ronan finally talked to Declan about his plans. His older brother gave him a complicated stare. It was 1% incredulous, 1% disbelief and 98% pride. Ronan had trouble dealing with a proud Declan. For so many years the only emotions he inspired in Declan was disapproval and disgust. It was a sobering moment for Ronan, to see the genuine smile on the oldest Lynch’s face. More so when it echoed the smile Niall Lynch used to give his middle son. It reminded Ronan that Declan was as much as his father’s son as Ronan himself.

“I can help with the business plans and the licenses. But how are you going to separate the farm with this?” Declan made a motion to indicate the Barns and it’s many dream secrets.

Ronan brought out the schematic farm plan he had made with Adam’s help and spread it on the kitchen table. The Lynches property was vast and it gave plenty of space between the Barns and the proposed farm. Ronan and Adam had planned it so the farm would have its own access road, water source and electric line. The farm could operate independently without anyone coming close to the Barns. Declan gave him another smile and approving look.

“So you’ve been thinking about this seriously.” He remarked as he poured over the paper.

“Yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t bring it to you.” Ronan said with only half his usual barb.

Declan only hummed in response. Then he pulled out his phone and scroll through his contacts.

“I’ll start calling people on Monday. In the meantime, you need to set up a bank accounts and get in touch with an accountant.” Declan tapped some more. “There. I’ve sent you the numbers for the local bank and an accountant firm.”

“Okay.” Ronan grunted. His relationship with Declan was better, but it hadn’t reached a point where he can say ‘thank you’ without wanting to wash his mouth afterward.

When it was time to leave, Declan gripped both of Ronan’s shoulders. “I’m proud of you.” Then he kissed Ronan’s cheek and climb into his Volvo.

Ronan made a show of wiping his cheek, but once the car was out of sight, he gave in to the urge to grin. He used to think of his future in a somewhat abstract way, re-build Cabeswater, raise Opal, marry Adam. But now, he had a more concrete way of building up his future, shaping it into one he wanted and could have. It felt big, it felt significant, and he was ready for it.

Three months later, Ronan Niall Lynch was the proud owner of Lynch Farm. Declan must have pulled some strings to get all the licenses and permits issued so quickly. Ronan sent Adam a pic of Opal holding up the legal papers.

‘We might just survive if this brat can keep herself from eating the important looking papers.’

Adam’s reply was a pic of himself surrounded by piles of books.

‘I might just survive if these books can keep from eating me.’

Feeling mischievous, Ronan sent another pic of himself sticking his tongue out obscenely.

‘The question is, can you survive me eating you out?’

To which Adam sent a selfie of himself glaring at the camera, cheeks flushed, middle finger raised.

‘Fuck you Lynch. I’m blocking your number until I’m done with my tests.’

Two minutes later another text from Adam arrived.

‘And I would totally survived it. The question is, can you survive me swallowing you whole?’

Ronan had to groan and locked himself in the bathroom after that.

***

It took another month for Ronan to find a contractor to begin the construction of the farm. For the long term, Ronan had planned for several barns, hothouses and cabins. The cabins would eventually housed the workers, with one intended to be the office, although it would have a bedroom and a small kitchenette tucked in the back for his personal use.

For the first stage, Ronan had the contractor built the road and put up all the fences, but only built one barn, one hothouse and a cabin for himself. He would build the rest once he was more familiar with running a farm.

When everything was ready, Ronan went to buy the rest of what he needed to truly become a farmer. He bought packets of seeds, natural pesticides and fertilizers and the farm machines. He had his sight on a BCS two wheel tractor and it’s various implements. Once it arrived, Ronan took a picture of it and sent it to Adam.

‘My new Italian ride.’

‘What happened to the German one?’

‘I can’t fucking use her to till my farm Parrish.’

‘Is it a Lambo or a Porsche?’

‘It’s BCS you fucker.’

‘Huh. Bought it, or?’

‘Stole it from my fucking neighbor.’

‘Don’t turn me into your accomplice you asshole!’

‘Too late for that Parrish. They’ll know to pick you up if I get caught.’

‘Not if I turn you in first.’

‘Fucking traitor.’

‘Did you mean fucking tractor?’

Ronan laughed and sent Adam a pic of him shirtless, pushing the BCS.

‘I hope that’s not how you plan on doing your farming.’

‘Why not? Don’t tell me you’re jealous of my tractor?’

‘I’d like to see your Irish pale ass skin handle the sun Lynch.’

‘You like my Irish pale ass.’

Adam’s reply was a pic he took in front of the bathroom mirror. Adam was clearly just stepped out of the shower. His tan skin was gleaming with water and his towel was wrapped so low around his hips.

‘How do you like this?’

Ronan had to curse and scrambled back to his room for some privacy. He needed to appreciate the perfection that was Adam’s Parrish body, and he’d rather do it alone and behind locked door.

***

Three months later, Ronan overnighted a box full of his first harvests to Adam. He sent several heads of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers. Two days later, he received a pic of Adam and his entryway buddies sitting around the common room. Each was holding a bowl of salad and a thumbs up.

‘Thx for the veggies. Do you think you can send us pumpkins and strawberries next?’

Ronan’s reply was a pic of him and Opal standing in front of a farmer market stall. There was a sign reading ‘Lynch Farm’ and several neat rows of vegetables off to the side.

‘We’ll see.’

***

For Adam and Ronan, there was one good thing about being in a long distance relationship. Though the separation was hard, it inadvertently cut their fighting time by a lot. Between Adam’s studies and jobs and Ronan’s farm, they didn’t really have much spare time, so whenever their free time aligned, Adam and Ronan spent it being as sappy as they could get away with, which was a lot. (Still, both vehemently denied of being a sap.)

They still bicker with each other, mostly through texts, but somehow it always ended up in shirtless pics being sent back and forth. Which led to sexting. Which led to either boy locking themselves in their room to relieve the tension.

Whenever they talk on the phone, it was always about hundreds other mundane things. They would talk about Opal or about the latest pic the Gansey trio sent them. They would gossip about Adam’s classmates and Ronan’s farmer market friends. They would commiserate over essays and the sudden shortage of manure in Henrietta. They would complain about nice customers and rude costumers. They would trade videos of their daily life. Adam waiting in line to get food at Annenberg Hall, sunrise as seen from the Barn’s rooftop, Adam doing a handstand, Ronan and Opal doing a handstand.

Some nights, they would Skype but have no conversation. Adam would study and got lost in his books, while Ronan finished his modules or re-reading his notes at the other end. They were too busy to talk, but it was nice to look up once in a while and saw your boyfriend’s face not one feet away though physically they were hundreds of miles away. It made the distance bearable.

There were days when one of them were too tired or too busy to even send a text, and that happened more often than both liked. Ronan hated those days. Those were the days where his doubts crept in and the ‘what ifs’ returned with vengeance. On those days, Ronan would take the BMW out and raced her on the backwater roads of Virginia. The older Aglionby boys knew better than to go against the charcoal gray car, and the newer ones who never even heard of Ronan Lynch’s name learned their lessons soon enough.

It was a good way of taking his mind off things. The adrenaline rush was enough to ease the restless energy thrumming under his skin and come morning light, all his doubts would seem silly. Especially when his phone had one message from Adam waiting to be opened. It was a pic of Adam in bed, wearing Ronan’s shirt, all sleepy eyed and mussed hair.

‘Thinking of you.’

Ronan saved the pic and started his day with a smile.

For Adam, days where he didn’t get in touch with Ronan in one way or another left him feeling guilty. It felt like he was forgetting Ronan or something. He knew it was irrational to feel that way, especially because they were two grown ups who built their relationship based on trust and mutual understanding.

The nights were the worst because that was when the dreams assaulted him. He often dreamed that wretched day where his hands wrapped around Ronan’s neck, robbing him of air, leaving bruises in their wake. He would wake up gasping, hands grasping the sheet so tight he almost ripped it.

Nights like those he was tempted to call Ronan even if it was three in the fucking morning. Most of the times, his finger was one tap away from making the call, but he always pushed down the urge. Ronan slept little enough as it was, Adam didn’t want to deprive him any further.

Instead, Adam would take off his clothes and wear one of Ronan’s shirt. He would take out the toy car and spin the wheels, letting the music filled his silent room. He would take out the photo album and looked at the smiling faces of his family. He would take out his phone and browse through the many pics Ronan sent him. It calmed him enough that he could finally drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he felt half better already. Then his phone pinged, signaling an incoming message. It was a selfie of Ronan and Opal. Opal was holding up a box of strawberries and they both were smiling ear to ear.

‘You fuckers are gonna love my strawberries.’

Adam laughed and forwarded only the pic to his group chat.

‘Strawberries are on their way.’

Adam prepared for class and he could already taste the strawberry on his tongue.

[clary-jace]

a-z :D

ohh alright anon we’re just gonna go there and do all of them!!! alright!!! let’s do this!!! 

A: Your current OTP. 

well, as y’all know i’m always on my rucas shipping bullshit because i’m me and i’m literally always thinking about them, but i’m also currently really into glenn/maggie, like i’ve shipped them for years but i’m in a Mood™ with them recently, so i’d say them. 

(gonna continue these under the cut bc this is probs gonna be long) 

B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind. 

this isn’t necessarily true anymore bc i kind of don’t care abt any ships from this universe and i stopped watching all these shows but back in the Day aka like 2014, i was watching arrow and the flash and phoebe ( @justiceleague2017dirzacksnyder ) turned me into a barry/felicity shipper. 

C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can't. 

there are very few ships that i actively wished that i shipped but a lot of the time i wish that i shipped a ship that was more popular in a lot of my fandoms, like i like the pairing itself but i wish that just ONCE i could ship the most popular ship in a fandom for all the content 

D: What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 

looking back on my ff.net account, which was my first Online account, the first thing i ever contributed to any fandom was a sonny with a chance fanfiction back in july of 2009. 

E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what? 

ajflkdasf i definitely have, i have this han solo edit that was kind of my first “cracky” edit that i ever posted and then i have the best post i ever made (my riley “look what you made me do” edit) and i also think my girl meets world incorrect quotes would also fall under this category 

F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? 

hm, i would maybe say the walking dead? i’ve considered myself part of the fandom for like 3 years even tho there was a solid like 9 months where i didn’t post any original content, i’ve been a fan for a long time and have plenty of original content to show for my time in the fandom 

G: What was your first fandom? 

honestly?? probably like late 2000s disney/nick shows ajkfldjasf, that’s what all my earliest fandom contributions are for and considering i was joining the internet fandoms at like age 13, it makes sense 

H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows? 

real life! the only animated show i’ve ever been super into is bob’s burgers, which is like my favorite show of all time, but most of my other favorite shows are real life, not animated. 

I: Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? 

tumblr has never ruined an entire tv show fandom for me but it’s definitely ruined ships/shipping fandoms for me, like a lot of times if a shipping fandom is really like rude towards one of my favorite characters that’ll make me stop being a fan of that ship/that ship fandom.

J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr. 

tbh most fandoms that i join, i join them because of tumblr like i distinctly remember the walking dead being all over my tumblr and originally having no desire to watch it but all the gifs and edits that i saw made me really interested eventually so i caved and watched it. the same kind of goes for girl meets world too. 

K: How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom(s). 

I HAVE TO SAY that most people in the rucas fandom are pretty wonderful and all things considered the rucas fandom is probably the nicest shipping fandom i’ve ever been in like obviously there are sour apples in every fandom, but most rucas shippers are pretty sweet, i will also say that i’ve never met a mean gleggie shipper which i’m Thankful for. 

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for? 

considering my favorite gifmaker AND fanfic author is maggie @friarlucas aka my bestie, i like to think that i have more than one request BUT if i only had one and am not allowed to request the next chapter of atlp, i would request a follow up to her hp au fic where lucas fell off his broom 

M: A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to. 

at the beginning of our friendship, samantha @jakeamys kinda pulled me into the dylan o’brien fandom tbh, that’s really the only time i can think of something like that happening tho 

N: Your favorite fandom (for the people; not the thing you fangirl over). 

HONESTLY probably the gleggie fandom, when i was more firmly in that fandom every single person that i met was an angel and i also have to say that i always felt like most gleggie shippers loved both glenn and maggie and truly just wanted to see them together and just genuinely loved their scenes and that’s all you can ask for which i love, i hope all my gleggie shippers out there are doing well bc i love them all 

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of? 

i’m sorry i can’t think of any song randomly ajfkljdaf i’m really bad at questions like this i’m sorry i failed you 

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). 

OK so an au i’ve had on my mind for like a week that i have yet to post abt is a zombie apocalypse au for riley and lucas where the apocalypse happens when they’re in college (+ dating long distance) so riley is in nyc and lucas is in texas so obviously they have no way to contact each other and they’re really far apart and they have no idea if the other one is still alive and then like a year or two into the apocalypse riley is living at this community/camp and one day lucas randomly shows up bc like he was wandering around the area and ended up getting hurt and needed help and he has no idea riley is there and wow they reunite and it’s beautiful 

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why. 

i used to be really into riley and maya and i just kind of lost interest in them, i realized that i just didn’t like them as much as i thought i did so i don’t really consider myself a shipper of them anymore 

R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships.  

i don’t know if i’m necessarily the Only shipper but i feel like i’m one of the few people who ships zay and lucas romantically, same goes for maggie and sasha like i don’t think i’m the only one but i’m one of the few that’s for sure 

S: What's a headcanon you have? 

i literally have been sitting here for like 10 minutes trying to come up with a hc but like i can’t think of anything i’m so sorry anon for failing you i’ll try and do better next time 

T: What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships? 

i’ll admit that i don’t have many m/m ships but i really love zay/lucas (girl meets world) and adam/ronan (the raven cycle), as for f/f ships i love maggie/sasha (the walking dead), riley/smackle (girl meets world), malia/lydia (teen wolf) and spencer/emily (pretty little liars) 

U: What are your favorite male/female ships? 

my top five m/f ships are riley/lucas (girl meets world), glenn/maggie (the walking dead), han/leia (star wars), matt/julie (friday night lights) and rich/grace (skins) 

V: Do you have any 3-way ships? If so, what?

riley/lucas/zay!!!! the ot3 we were robbed of!!!!!!!!!!! they’re really all i can think of tho. 

W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms. 

riley matthews (girl meets world), maggie greene (the walking dead), julie taylor (friday night lights), han solo (star wars) and spencer hastings (pretty little liars) 

X: 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms. 

riley/lucas (girl meets world), glenn/maggie (the walking dead), han/leia (star wars) 

Y: A fandom you’re in but have no ships from. 

i truthfully ship in pretty much any fandom that i’m in but i would say that i have pretty much no ships when it comes to bob’s burgers like, obviously, i love bob and linda but like outside of that i don’t really “ship” anything???

Z: What's a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it?

i literally can’t think of anything for this one??? like yeah tumblr hates a lot of my ships but i’m also not like ashamed of any of them so like???? i can’t say there’s anything that i don’t talk abt shipping if that makes any sense