#bc some ppl will hear she's in the books and decide to hate her even more without even reading them

[fortheloveofexy]

On the one hand I am delighted at the idea of a Kevin Day duology... on the other hand I know that means Thea will by necessity have more of a presence and a lot of ppl are gonna be assholes about it.

[bahrmp3]

.

had a dream I was out too late and smh at home with friends except I wsd renting this place? inviting others I don't like to be roommates san renting? but wouldn't give them a key bc I didn't trust them except I didn't trust them to spend the night with them so I ran with two friends I got home late with and it's like we are out at three am now

on of them was a guy I hated in uni and apparently all these ppl take this course with mein the dream? at first my friends leave without me but I catch up to them and tell them five minutes and I'll join them

so I go to my room and change even though there are these ppl I hate in it the uni guy asks me if mum minded the drool stains (his) on tbe pillow and I go I didn't ask her but I k ow she didn't like them bc I didn't

he acted v free? wanted to take my home key off my own key chain and I told him wtf? no way and he said the n I'll have to make sure to come home every day to let them in but I booked it out of there socks in hand

in the elevator there was a puddle that my bag was standing in?

I had no way to get home so I rode this mini bus thing with her (swim coach?) as a driver and on the passenger seat was a guy who let in passenger except they were eating from my bag of oranges? which felt like a betrayal enough that I got out of tbe car and she got wjtb me (mini bus continues without us?)

I tell her that I would hvae forgiven them eating the eggplant but not the ora ges bc the ora gers belong to mum

smh this devolved to being in the street and lying with her to get a new id? pretending I am 16/17 and don't k ow English and suddenly my brother is there except he isn't pretending on the English front?

we have these neurolinks that coach's abuser (thanatos??? ha) tries to contact her with but she has that avenue closed but he monitors my own communication with her (so ppl can't hear us talking) and figures out where we are

and we are in some nitrogen only planet smh?

so he comes and decides the best action is to fight everyone till they find us or rather her

I turn against her smh? and we fight then I group of unknowns to me to plan on the fly on the street an attack to offset the thanatos guy

I wake up

[primaryred]

(Still selective) Genshin characters and what kind of hs students I think they would be pt. 2

part uno

notey-chan: I’m sorry for the 4 month wait. I’ve put this off for too long. I have no regrets writing this. Fuck genshin impact I wanted Yae die Ayato. Kazuha rerun pls. Unfortunately this may have less spirit since I’m not writing this whilst I’m shifting my brains out.

warnings: cursing / nsfw / drugs / infrequent hcs / spelling errors?/ hs topics / favoritism (esp on Kokomi’s part sorry not sorry) / gay gay gay lesbian homo ppl

Ei/ Yae

-Ei is a language arts teacher and Yae is the hot librarian

-I have a feeling Ei wanted to b a history teacher but Zhongli was ready to fight for that spot (boomer thingz)

-So she settled for language arts

-I also think that she’d teach fencing for some fancy defined art like that as a side gig

-Now, hear me out: Ei runs a book club with Yae

-Ei and Yae are childhood best friends

-Yae supervises the student council and they all confide in her a lot

-Kaeya and Childe have definitely hit on Yae or Ei more than a couple of times

-Ei’s legit 🤏 this close to suspending them

-Yae def knows abt Kazuha’s drug business. But she’s chill about it

-She probably helped him name it (some poetry shit (love that pot 🍃))

-Ei forgets her umbrella a lot and Yae always brings an extra for her

-They give each other chocolates during Valentine’s Day (tell the students “it’s a formality” but we all know that isn’t true)

-Yae prides herself on keeping her library clean and pretty

- all of the staff are scared of her

-Ei unironiclly stops Venti in the hallways while school alr started bc she thinks he’s a student

-Yeah, Ei and Yae both hate Venti

Arataki Numero Uno Itto

-MEANCE

-Sets camp in the detention room

-He probs has a designated desk w a name plate for him IN GOLD bc “silver isn’t manly”

-He’s tried to make a “fighting” club but the school wouldn’t allow it so he settled on Judo

-Probably tries to learn a new language if he finds out a foreign exchange student will be transferring

-Puts his feet on his desk

-Notorious virgin. Like even if a student was desperate they’d stay a good 37 feet away from him

-He has a gang, but he doesn’t beat people up

-Worse thing they’ve done was accidentally break a classroom window while trying to decide who can throw the biggest rocks

-Anytime a teacher assigns a project he tries to convince them if he can make it into a video to show the class

-Sara is contemplating a transfer

Kokomi

-IK she has a fan club. Half of the student body is in it. Literally no shame

-She’d slay in karaoke

-Would unintentionally start trends too like??? First week of school everyone dyed their hair pink and blue

-She prefers manga over anime. Reads TBHK and AOT

-Cuts her hair shoulder length frequently but her hair grows back so fast

-Marine science specialist. Also an advocate for all sea animals. Makes PowerPoints and everything

-She has like whales, starfishes, and whatever charms on her school bag

-Rich

-Has a wide food pallet. Like she is able to properly judge food with an extensive review

-She has taken some self defense classes, but gorou refuses to let her walk alone at night.

-He’ll probably go to war for her (even tho he alr has)

-Kokomi definitely has great comebacks. no one picks fights w her

-really nothing negative to say about her except her hyperfixation on sea animals

Albedooo

-brings the game frfr

-unintentionally

-he wants nothing to do w 80% of the students there. but SOMEHOW he attracts them all (kinda like komi’s brother or Saiki)

-he reads nerdy shit like the periodic table for f-fun 🤢

-yeah a chemistry nerd

-the only time he ever involved himself with school activities is when it has to do w science. And he’d always bring up some crazy theory that makes sense

-victim of TikTok challenges

-Kaeya definitely stopped him in the middle of the hallway, put his phone up to his mouth and asked him what song he was listening too

-only kid with actual academic potential. he could graduate early if he wanted to

-always does unauthorized experiments in the school laboratory (with sucrose or someone bc he doesn’t want to get in trouble alone)

-if the school ever held like a fitness/sports event he’d do extremely well in track or fencing. Like he’s innately athletic

-agreed to become class treasurer and head of the chemistry club after constant begging from many of the students

-brings an extra large coffee to school and ACTUALLY finishes it

-his style is a whole vibe tbh

[sparkysparklightning]

Okay listen

Yes this is the “longass post” I mentioned in my previous Tratie HoO post hgjkfsh I decided to publish it and see what y’alls think!

Anyway, I saw this post, like...a week ago?? And all of a sudden, everything related to the HoO series that I’ve held back just came charging full-force. So I’m here to grace y’alls with my ideas and thoughts about HoO.

Honestly, if I talked abt everything that went off-kilter in that series, we’d be here all day, so I’ll just stick to the mere basic point that was also the basis of my HoO conceptual rewrite idea, and that point is...

Percabeth shouldn’t have been a part of the Seven.

Yeah yeah, half of you guys must be throwing stones at me, the other half is probably nodding in agreement. But seriously, Percabeth already had their time to shine--they had an entire five hecking books, they ( and their characterizations ) definitely do not need another five more, yeesh! I love Percy and all, but pls, five more books in which his and Annabeth’s and their relationship’s character were diminished? Yeah, no thanks. 

I love Percabeth, but in HoO, they became so...bland??? Idk how to properly explain it, but I didn’t like what happened to their character arcs at all lmaoo

But then, I got an idea: what if, instead of Percabeth, it was TRATIE who was a part of the Seven, instead? 

Now this idea was inspired both from the post mentioned above plus another post that talked abt Tratie as a part of the Seven in a bit more detail, which I cannot find no matter how many times I scoured the rr-crit tag ( smh, if anyone else knows of this post, pls lmk and link it, I’m sorry 😭 )

And yeah, I know a lot of ppl have been hopping on the ‘Nico & Reyna as part of the Seven’ train when it comes to making HoO rewrites, but see, hear me out, just think about the potential of Travis Stoll and Katie Gardner--two children of minor gods--getting their spotlight in a series of their own ( plus more indirect spotlight on the minor gods in question ) plus a slowburn ( kinda ) relationship?? Heck, I already have some ideas for this, that I’ll jot down below the cut along with some conceptual ideas about the rewrite. If any of y’alls end up reading this whole post, can you...just, idk, lmk whether it’s a solid plan and if I should actually take it forward and plan on writing it? Bc I’m being rlly indecisive rn ahaha 😅

So. Tratie instead of Percabeth. Let’s take a closer look at the potential:

Honestly, I hate to admit it, but Percabeth didn’t do much to the plot as a whole, so it wouldn’t make much of a difference if they’re taken out. Though there are some things they did to move the plot forward, although little, and that’s what I’ll touch on before I discuss Tratie in general:

( oh yeah, disclaimer: I read the HoO series about five years ago?? I’m trying ( key word: trying lmao ) to reread the series currently, but it’s just not sticking lmfao. Probably the main reason why I wanna rewrite it so badly, other than the two posts that boosted my inspo )

--> THE ATHENA PARTHENOS: Annabeth went on a solo quest in MoA to track down the Athena Parthenos bc it was crucial to sealing the rift between Greek and Roman. BUT, any other demigod could go on that same quest instead of her. Like Piper, whose mother had told her that she was essential to sealing the rift but never ended up doing anything for it bc RR just...flopped idk; or someone like Leo who has similar abilities as Annabeth and would be able to outsmart Arachne in a similar fashion as well; or even Reyna could come earlier than she did in the series and work with the Seven or some of them to track down the statue? Idk, there are lots of options, tbh, there’s honestly not that much relevance to Annabeth being the daughter of Athena so she has to track down the Athena Parthenos. I mean, sure there was the Arachne ordeal, but other than that, nothing major rlly happens

Percy, himself, didn’t rlly...do much for the entire series, other than fight. I mean, there were some minor aspects of HoO where his powers or relations to other characters vibed well, so we’ll check those out:

--> KANSAS: In MoA, Jason and Percy fought each other bc they were forced to. That could easily happen even without Percy. Instead, of Percy, it could be Hazel and Jason fighting each other due to their connections as the Big Three children being taken advantage of. It could be sort of like a mirage of Thalia and Percy’s fight back in TTC. Plus, again, it gives way for more bonding and discussion after between two other characters that never got much interaction time together in canon

--> KYM AND POLYBOTES: okay this is the scene that takes place in BoO where Percy and Jason face off against Kym and Polybotes. But, Percy...does literally nothing here other than get poisoned lmao. It was Jason who did the heavy-lifting bc Percy got a t a d bit arrogant, thinking he was invincible underwater. So honestly, you could take out Percy and replace him with another member of the Seven (who would seem reasonable, in the context, so no Piper or Annabeth or Leo, etc bc none of them can survive even a minute under the water and doesn’t have a way like Jason to breathe). Tbvh, I can see Frank and Jason go together to face Kym and Polybotes. Frank can shapeshift into a sea-creature while Jason can use his ventus vacuum thingie, so it all works out, and nothing too drastic is changed! 

There’s probably a couple more of little scenes where Percabeth was mostly significant in some way to the series, but let’s be very honest...there weren’t a lot of them. So long story short: if you want to, you can easily take out Percy and Annabeth from the series and replace them with another pair and it wouldn’t be the end of the world, lmao.

Now onto Tratie ideas in relation to if they were a part of the Seven instead. Here are some bullet-points of some ideas that I thought of:

It could be a lovely parallel, where when Jason woke up, all he could remember was Thalia, so when Travis wakes up, all he remembers is Connor, his younger brother. I think it would be nice bc it shows that not everything has to be romantically coded like how Percy only remembered Annabeth in canon. It would emphasize Travis and Connor’s sibling bond more so, and I can just imagine Connor giving Travis reuniting noogies and trying not to burst into tears in MoA, and Travis whispers something like “you’re here” and the floodgates open, and it’s just crying and hugging and the like 😭😭

Katie is a daughter of Demeter, so she would have a somewhat connection with the Earth aka Gaea, hence there is now a plausible reason why Gaea would want to spill her blood to rise. Also, when the time comes to defeat her, instead of charm-speaking her to sleep or whatnot, Katie could be a significant crux to the primordial’s defeat bc her powers tie in with the land/earth, so she could use her powers to forcibly push Gaea back into the earth.

 Instead of them going to Tartarus, they end up going to Cupid (so some other pair will fall into Tartarus instead), and instead of a stupid forced outing, Cupid takes one look at them, senses their underlying emotional tension and goes “oh boy, yeah, you two have a lot to talk about” and actually (tries to) help guide the two into confessing the feelings they’d hidden, instead of being a little shit like in canon. Plus I just adore the idea of Travis calling Katie “flower” after they get together, and Katie calling him “key” not just bc he steals stuff but also bc he’s like the key to her heart and all that sappy bs, I literally love them sm 🥺 literally such wonderful nickname opportunities that have a deeper meaning

Travis and Jason might have a subtle rivalry, but unlike Percy and Jason’s weird ‘I’m stronger than you’ thing, it could be bc Jason felt a bit jealous of how everyone was looking for Travis, including his sister, while no one pulled much of an effort to look for him? It’d give an opportunity for them to talk things out and end up growing closer after talking

Juno/Hera saw Travis’s need, his desire, to redeem the Hermes name and as a result, used that fire to kickstart her plan by plopping him in Camp Jupiter while Jason got switched to CHB. Hence there is now a reasonable concept as to why the switch happened, because honestly, the whole Percy-Jason switch didn’t make all that sense bc Jason, yes I can sort of understand why he got switched, but Percy?? There was literally no solid reason that was explained as to why he was chosen to be switched lmao. But with Travis, Juno/Hera takes pity on him and uses this as an opportunity for him to bring glory to the Hermes name after the Titan War

I have a ton more ideas for the rewrite as a whole tbvh. Stuff relating to ways Gaea could actually be defeated, more on Octavian’s backstory and why he hates the Greeks so much, and other tiny scenes between the demigods that could bring about more characterization and details to their arcs.

The only problem is...with the way this is going in my head, I think things might end up diverging more or less from canon as the series progresses? Like there will obv be the canon scenes, but there might also be non-canon scenes that might change the series plot a little bit?? And idk how many of y’alls will appreciate that lmao ghjksfgh but I have started writing it. It’s a super long process lmfao, so idk when I’ll publish it (probably on Ao3, if I do), but I just wanted to let y’alls know bc a lot of you guys liked my first post abt this and I saw your lovely tags and it made me super happy and honestly, those tags are the reason why I even started writing this in the first place! So thank you guys so so much for the positive feedback!

[beanst0ck]

heyyy, it's me again :) so,, since the requests are open, can i have how noya, tsukki & kageyama (my fav karasuno bois) helping their s/o who's struggling with school and stuff. like they go to her house and shes crying, and when he asks why is she crying she says "idk" bc basically, that's happening to me now, and I need some fluff to have serotonin 😔😔💕 love u!!

school can b like that sometimes 😔

i don’t usually struggle with schoolwork but when i do it’s >:(

Yuu Nishinoya

it’s a normal day. not too cloudy, not to sunny, perfect for a date!

nishinoya thinks back to you, noticing that you seemed a little distracted at school today

he asked you multiple times what was wrong but you always responded with “oh no im fine!“ so he assumed you were just having a bad day :((

so to try and make you feel better, he decides to text you!

short king💕: HEy! be ready in 15 mins!! we’re going out to eat >:))

he found it kind of odd you didn’t see his message, but maybe you were just taking a nap or doing hw!

cut to him rushing over to your house bc our bby is excited!! it’s been awhile since he’s taken you somewhere so now that he has the chance to he’s pumped up!

he calls you multiple times on his phone ready to tell you he’s outside, but you don’t answer

now our bby boy is confused. he’s like?? where are you?? i just wanna go out and eat??

he looks around your house and notices your window is open

somehow, he manages to reach your window and sees you hunched over your table looking at something

he sees that your phone is on your bed charging, so now he understands why you wouldn’t answer!

“(y/nnn)!! let’s go out to eat!“

you turn around so fast

like “wHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO GET INTO MY ROOM??- oh hi noya“

he immediately freezes once he notices your eyes are red and puffy

better believe he’s going to rush over to you and ask what’s wrong, what made you upset, etc.

you have to wait awhile before he calms down so you could explain what was wrong

“today we had a test and i didn’t get the score i thought i’d get... i thought i’d at least get a passing grade but guess not, so im trying to study for the makeup test so i could do better this time :((“

he has a moment of realization and you swear you could literally see a lightbulb go off above his head

he finally understands why you were so upset earlier!!

now that he understands why you were sad he’s gonna do everything in his power to make you feel better

“how long have you been studying for?“

“since i got home..“

“(y/n) that was 3 hours ago...”

finds out you haven’t even taken a break and he’s about to throw hands

he cares about you a lot and wants you to take better care of yourself!!

he saw how hard you were working on trying to get a better grade and knew you needed a break, so now he’s definitely taking you out on that date as a reward for your hard work

“alright, you’re taking a break now! too much studying will break your head!!“

practically drags you out your front door. he didn’t even give you a chance to get ready, y’all left exactly how you were

he takes you out to buy your favorite food because even if you didn’t pass, you tried your best and that’s what matters

he would try his best to study with you, but we all know he isn’t the smartest when it comes to academics,,,

will give you lots and lots of kithes when he sees you finally got the score you wanted as a reward for your hard work :))

Kei Tsukishima

during school tsukki noticed that you were acting a little odd. normally you’re the one to initiate conversations with him, but today you were just quiet

immediately knew something was up, but didn’t say anything because maybe he was looking into things too much

time skip to lunch and tsukishima is looking for you, because he wants to eat his lunch with you!!

imagine his surprise when he sees you studying?

he’s like “what are you doing, are you trying to be a nerd now?“

you jump because you weren’t expecting him to find you so fast??

your plan was to study a bit before you ate your lunch with tsukishima but obviously that wasn’t going to happen today

tsukishima finds it kind of weird that you were studying during school hours because you never do that? but once again he stays quiet because hey maybe you just want to improve your grades or something

the day passes by normally for the both of you, but tsukishima still can’t shake the feeling that something is up with you

so after practice he decides to head over to your place

he parts ways with yamaguchi and begins heading over to your house to see you

he’s lowkey a little excited because he doesn’t come over to visit you much so he had lil butterflies in his stomach

your parents open the door and when they see him they immediately greet him happily and let him in

i headcannon that parents just love tsukishima idk why

tsukishima doesn’t even knock, he just opens the door to your room

when he sees you crying he just stares, extremely confused

when you notice someone’s entered your room you look up and through all the tears you see your boyfriend standing in your doorway, confused af

you quickly wipe the tears from your face, already knowing that hiding your face from him would not work because he definitely just saw you crying

you try and play it off tho

“ah! tsukki! what’re you doing here ahahha-“

he slowly walks over to you and sees your notebook fills with notes along with other worksheets filled with information

he closes your books and pushes away all the loose papers on your desk

right as you’re about to ask him why’d he do that for he immediately hugged you

it was kind of an awkwardly positioned hug tho? you were sitting down on a chair and he was standing so your face was against his stomach

he asks you if you were crying because of school work but did he really need to ask?? he already knew the answer-

he suddenly becomes sweet towards you? like he still teases you but not as much because he knows you’re sad rn :((

offers to tutor you if you really need to help, he’ll use it as an excuse to spend more time with you!

if you get a problem right your reward is his kithes

if his teammates see him tutoring you they’re gonna be like “awe“ because he barely agreed to tutor hinata and kageyama and he couldn’t stand them

they’ll clown him a little bit

speaking of them they’re probably gonna complain about it

���tsukishima you’re so mean! why does (y/n) get tutoring and not us :((“

insert sugamama smacking hinata for his comment

you get girlfriend privileges bc tsukishima is vv soft for you :))

Tobio Kageyama

im sorry but our dumb dumb kageyama probably wouldn’t notice how sad you seemed

hinata probably said something along the lines of “hey did you have a fight with (y/n)? she seems sad :((“

it’s not that he doesn’t care!! trust me he really does he’s just mostly focused on volleyball and doesn’t know how you feel unless you tell him

after hinata says that he starts to focus on you more, trying to see if what hinata said was true

if you DO seem sad, he’s gonna panic because he doesn’t know what to do

if you DONT seem sad bc you’re good at hiding your emotions, then he’s gonna call hinata ‘ bOkE!1!!1 ‘ because how dare he assume something about his gf

regardless of those things tho, he’s gonna start paying attention to you in general. he’s gonna try his best to understand your emotions because he doesn’t wanna upset you more!!

you’re most likely gonna feel his stares him a mile away. ppl are gonna think he hates you but in reality,, he’s just trying to understand your mood

one day while at school he noticed that you didn’t come. took him awhile to realize,, it was actually one of his teammates that said “where’s (y/n)? they aren’t with you?“ and he went into a mini panic mode because they’re right where’d you go?

realized that you weren’t at school and texted you

poor babey seemed lost without you because he spends most of his time with you

emo blueberry💙: you’re not at school? do you feel ok?

when you see his text you start to feel better because you know that he loves you and he’s worried bc you’re not there with him

kageyama begins to look back on his days spent with you

generally you seemed happy with him but there were times where you’d let your smile slip just a little

idk why but i headcannon that when it comes to relationships he’s vv inexperienced and doesn’t know what to do

as much as he’d hate to admit, he asked hinata it if he noticed anything off about you

when hinata tells him that you seemed distracted during breaks kageyama begins to do his journey on trying to find out what’s wrong

he asks his upperclassmen for advice and he actually uses what they say

after class he takes it upon himself to go to all of your classes to pick up any homework you might’ve missed

during practice you’re all he can think about which causes his sets to be a little off

daichi, being the kind dad he is, let’s kageyama leave early to go see you

kageyama enters your home and heads to your room. as he’s about to knock he hears sniffles clearly coming from you and he goes into panic mode

quickly opens your door and you two kind of just stare at each other awkwardly like,,

“uh, hi?“

he doesn’t understand how you could be so chill?? like you’re literally crying yet you’re acting as if you’re not

immediately asks if you’re alright, why you’re crying, etc.

once you tell him it’s because you don’t understand your schoolwork, he nods. he understands how you feel because he himself isn’t as good

he’ll tell you how it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand the material as fast as others because everyone learns at their own pace

he’ll slowly initiate a hug? it might be a little awkward because he doesn’t seem like he knows what he’s doing he really doesn’t but he hopes that it makes you feel better :((

he’ll drag you away from your studies for a bit if you haven’t taken a break and he’ll just cuddle you

AGAIN!! it might be a little awkward but pls he’s trying his best ok :((

if you end up falling asleep he’ll give you a little kith on your forehead :))

haikyuu mlist

requests open

[lovelylogans]

Yes. Please Open The Box. I've been on hp brainrot cause I've been rewatching the movies with my mom. Please

i feel like i have a lot of opinions that are popular opinions, and fuck terfs, but nonetheless:

regulus black would have been the perfect example of a brave slytherin that albus was named after

arthur, hagrid, or remus could have served as other father figures instead of albus; tell me hagrid would not burst into tears upon hearing his child was named after him? also, arthur, for both ginny and harry!

i read the occasional drarry fic but it has to be very, very well-written; or, at least, it has to have the understanding that draco has to go through some sort of redemption, either through atoning for his own actions, or an au in which he already has—some fics make him the next-gen spy, a bit like snape

uh, draco and dudley are perfect foils, and people would simp after dudley if he was as “conventionally attractive” as tom felton

dudley had more of a canon redemption arc than draco did

fatphobia is rampant in the series—villains are the vast majority of fat rep, and even good fat characters like molly or hagrid still have faults (hagrid is “big and dumb,” a bit like dudley tbh, and molly is kind of just? a Mother? like that’s her defining character trait. nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom if that’s what you want, of course, it’s just that molly didn’t have much of a personality outside of her children until the later books.)

misogyny too—molly was so mean to hermione in the fourth book and fleur in the sixth, ginny was mean to fleur too, hermione gives off “not like other girls” energy especially concerning lavender and pavarti

poc harry and hermione—sure, jkr says she’s cool with it, but she gets a lot of credit for the bare minimum. she could have written them that way.

there’s a whole lot of white people in hp. wish there’d been better rep

same with dumbledore! it’s so clear she said he’s gay to get better credit for rep that’s barely there, but now she has the chance to expound in it in the fantastic beasts movies, she isn’t planning on addressing it. right. okay.

should i even get into the antisemitism of the goblins

most -isms jkr ticked, tbh, and described better by other people who these -isms directly affect, so i won’t get too much more into it

wish hufflepuffs had more house rep, in general, they mostly just get cedric, and i wish that “good slytherins” were expounded upon, especially concerning the whole “no slytherins stayed” for the final battle you cannot TELL ME that there wasn’t ONE slytherin who had ambitions to fight voldemort

(i’m a ravenclaw, btw)

cho, angelina, and ginny are all overhated; movie!ginny was albeit lacking a lot of the Spice of book ginny, and movie cho got shorted bc they didn’t include marietta as the betrayer of the da, but like. god. pls chill ppl

albus probably considered that sirius was innocent but decided to leave him in azkaban, even though he didn’t know for sure; albus probably also laid out the traps for the stone with eleven-year-olds in mind, just in case harry wanted to try and prove himself; albus was behind a lot of the machinations, and at the very least he left a child to be abused for years on end

i wrote a ten page essay on why snape is a garbage person for that college class i mentioned. i got a perfect score.

like seriously i could talk about how much snape sucks and why him having a crush on lily isn’t redemption, but like. we get it. c’mon. “i see no difference,” threatening to kill a student’s beloved pet, being that student’s worst fear....... come on.

harry should have been the dada professor when he grew up. like it’s right there.

tonks is genderfluid you cannot convince me otherwise

i love wolfstar as much as the next gal, but if we get a marauders tv show slash movie, you know she’d make that shit as straight as possible. no thanks.

someone on tiktok said florence pugh as helga hufflepuff tho and. yeah.

mmm jkr really should have kept her hands off a lot of the international schools; i know she messed up at the very least native american representation, even though native americans requested she not do that, and there are really big Colonization Vibes from those expanded schools. which like, i get, bc colonization was happening, but. still. so many fics have done better with those concepts.

speaking of! fic recs! these are all on ao3

the changeling: slytherin!ginny. takes her through all seven years and addresses various kinds of magic. i absolutely adore it. harry/ginny

boy with a scar series: takes various “what ifs” about the harry potter series and writes them; mostly canon ships

sunshine in my eyes: lily is raised by professor mcgonagall. jily

true, and unafraid of toil: a character study of autistic newt scamander

the dogfather: petunia turns down taking in her son, sirius escapes azkaban much earlier, and harry’s adopted by muggles. only the first year of hogwarts is written out in full, but there’s ficlets that follow through to the end of the wizarding war. wolfstar.

(the completely unwilling participants on) the bachelor: james is the first british bachelor; lily is a journalist who is sent on the show, undercover, by her shitty boss. james/lily

swung by serafim: a characterization of snape that i do not completely hate; i avoid the last two chapters, bc i do not like snarry, it squicks me out, and i didn’t see the tags for it until the very end of the work since it gets more textual in those chapters, and also it involves real life events that feels a bit strange to write about in fic, but. that’s just me. i think there’s cho/harry/cedric in there?

turn: genuinely just one of the best-written harry potter fanfics i’ve ever read. harry after the epilogue gets sent to an alternate universe where things went a little different. drarry

the debt of time: obligatory “hermione gets sent back in time to the marauders” fic; these were super popular on fanfic.net, where i started out, but i read this recently and really really enjoyed it. sirius/hermione, remus/hermione

the pure and simple truth: everyone goes out to a bar. drarry, romione

hogwarts, to welcome you home: harry as the dada professor from mcgonagall’s perspective

stealing harry: sirius never went to azkaban, but harry still went to the dursleys for a bit. it’s written up to part of the third book, but it has notes for how the rest of the series would have turned out. wolfstar

hermione granger’s hogwarts crammer for delinquents on the run: if harry was told he was a wizard at age seventeen, instead of age eleven. drarry

the reclamation of black magic: harry’s grandmother dorea was in a coma and never died. now she’s come to adopt her grandson and seek a reckoning on the wizarding world. this is unfinished and is in harry’s first year; sirius black/remus, for a bit, but also remus/female oc and sirius/male oc; probably harry/hermione, by the end of it.

if any of you have fic recs (especially fics featuring ginny, jily, or wolfstar) (i’ve been meaning to read atyd, i’m saving it) please let me know!

[hereformcdonaldshonestly]

Hi, may I have a romantic mha matchup, please? dear lord i hope i haven't sent u this yet lol

Fleur | bisexual | girl | INTP

Appearance: I'm 164cm(~5'4) tall, slim&athletic, and I usually give off the 'cute good girl' vibe, so ppl are shocked when they hear me cursing a lot lol. Long brown hair with bangs, my deer eyes have the same color - I wear eyeglasses. My clothing style is very girly, mostly wearing skirts and dresses(sometimes elegant, sometimes rather cute outfits). There's a tiny, barely visible scar above my right eyebrow, I've opened our car's door on my head lmao.

Personality: I have a confusingly dual, hard-to-like personality. First impression is either a stoic resting bitch face bitch or the awkward, cute and polite girl.

I'm faking myself and good at keeping my emotions under control, I'm really adaptable(sometimes full-stoic, other times talkative). I HATE showing weaknesses, I'm hiding them from even people I love, I simply can't stand emotional vulnerability. Making me talk about my issues, problems? Nearly impossible.

My way of thinking is quite realistic and highly critical, I have opinions about everything, I get passionate while sharing them, deep conversations are keeping me alive. Sometimes I'm event told that I'm wise? Kind of.

I'm the CLUMSIEST person, and kinda awkward too, cringe situations always find me. Quite easily get jumped/pranked. My humour is colorful: TEASING, dark, morbid, absurd, trollish. Sometimes I can come off phlegmatic, rude.

I'm generally a kind, polite, caring and patient person tho. I take loyalty quite seriously, but I don't get attached easily. I have a kind of unapproachable, 'emotions ew' vibes, but I have a softie side who adores cuddling and giving love, affection to people - it's kind of a selfish coping mechanism for me at the same time, bc the feeling being needed is incredibly comforting for me. Also, I can be just a dumb idiot and loosen up with my little gang if I'm in the mood. Once my close friend told me that I'm an unpredictable person. I need a lot of alone time&space.

I'm also vain, snobbish, pro procastrinator, lazy and selfish just to mention some negative traits. I have massive self-hatred spirals, thinking I am a burden, unworthy for love on my bad days. Slight imposter syndrome I guess.

My love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and when I have to express it, I'm best with acts of service. I'm not so romantic, valentines day and similar stuff just gonna make me roll my eyes.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, travelling,  mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes, like Sodder siblings, Tara Calico etc.), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila, going out and drinking with friends, smoking sometimes, family time, psychology, sexual psychology, reading trash/funny FB comments, massaging others, deep converstaions, surrealism, anything indie

For you I chose:

Momo Yaoyorozu!

Reason

I feel like she would help balance you out, at first I thought about Katsuki Bakugou but then I decided that probably wouldn't work out the best. She would balance it out, trying to get you to talk about anything that's bothering you, but she isn't forcing you!

Why They Love You

Momo loves your soft side, she loves that you can feel comfortable around her. She also loves how wise you are! She feels like she can ask you anything and you'll be there to answer. Momo always respects your space and always is aware of what is going on, just so she doesn't make you stressed on accident.

Date Headcanons

As a date idea, Momo suggested a murder mystery tour! Where basically you walk downtown with a group and a tour guide, picking up clues and trying to solve the mystery! Turns out it was like one big walking version of Clue!

You guys went out for date night! You both agreed that you would go without a plan and see where it takes you, after an hour of walking, driving, and just talking, and that's you see the glowing sign for poem reading! You guys went in and sat down with some drinks, watching people read poems, sing, and talk about different topics. You guys had a great time together!

General Headcanons

Momo always asks about what you're reading that week. She always wants to learn more about the literature you like so she can read it as well! She knows how much you love classical literature so she starts suggesting different writers and even tried to buy you different books that she thought you would like!

Whenever it comes to a romantic holiday, she knows how you aren't a huge fan of them. She'll maybe surprise you with flowers or dinner, but she'll still treat it as a normal day. She surprisingly is the same way, not really understanding why it was a big deal. Unless you want to go and do something for it, she is completely okay with staying home and watching documentaries!

Songs That Remind Me of You Both

Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier

Yellow by Coldplay

I hope you have a great day!

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

If you don’t stan Midoriya what are you DOING he is so GOOD the core of his character is just. CARING about every person he comes across & trying to HELP them even though most of the people he’s encountered before yuuei had been real nasty to him like he could’ve given up! He could’ve said “you’ve never cared about me so why should I care about you” & turned his back on the world, used his talents for himself or even become a villain (like. My dude has plenty of motive I don’t even think I’d blame him) but he DIDN’T he tries SO HARD he just wants to be able to help people!

“But he‘a a crybaby :/” And?!?! First of all being in touch with your emotions enough to cry isn’t a bad thing!!! Second of all he’s been through a lot and is constantly under so much pressure god forbid he cry a little bit!!

His idol crushed his dreams! & yet he didn’t harbor any ill will toward all might and he still acted & ended up helping save bakugou (& then got SCOLDED FOR IT WTF. Like the pro heroes were all like “you could’ve died!” but they weren’t doing anything!!! Bkg would be dead if Midoriya hadn’t intervened and he got YELLED AT FOR IT. the disrespect is astronomical). He cares about people so much even when they’ve given him nothing but reasons he SHOULDN’T care about them but because he’s so good (and stubborn lmao) he cares about them anyway!! If I was bullied for 10 years I sure as hell wouldn’t care about my bully but because Midoriya’s a literal angel he still does?!?! Like wtf. He’s just so good!

& the most irritating part is that because of aforementioned 10 years of bullying and being let down by everyone (even his mother which while Inko is a great mother & loves Izuku so much she did screw up by not believing in him) he has like no self worth and doesn’t realize how amazing he is?!? He breaks his bones CONSTANTLY bc he doesn’t care about the cost to himself as long as he can save other people he literally doesn’t rlly care if he dies like when he was being killed by muscular he was scared but his thoughts were “sorry Kota, sorry all might, sorry mom” he was more worried about “letting people down” than the fact he was dying!! He only stopped breaking his bones bc he was told that if he did it again he’d permanently damage his arms which would make it rlly hard for him to be a hero like he didn’t even consider using his quirk in other ways before then even when he was constantly in pain from shattering the hell out of his bones!! He was just like “it’s working I’m saving people who cares if I’m in immense pain every time I activate my quirk that’s fine” like holy sh*t kid please care about yourself more!! In the sports festival he broke the bones in his hand TWICE OVER for someone he’d hardly ever spoken to!! Like please PLEASE get some self worth you finally have real friends they can help you! You don’t have to do everything alone PLEASE let them help you!

Also he’s so smart?! Not just book smart (even though he scored fourth in the class on midterms so he’s obviously that too) but he’s super observant and has crazy analyses on ppls quirks and beyond quirk observation he’s really good at observing people too?! He analysed that the slime villain’s weak spot was probably its eyes & threw the backpack at it startling it enough that it temporarily retreated? He observed Bkg enough that he knew exactly how he’d act in the battle trial and devised a plan to help them win (which btw was NOT SAFE FOR HIM AT ALL & HE KNEW THAT & HE DIDNT CARE AS LONG AS HE COULD HELP THEIR TEAM WIN, another point re: last paragraph) & when he found out that Uraraka didn’t have anything that she could float to combat Iida with, he improvised by punching thru the building so that Uraraka had rubble she could use against Iida & he thought of that while in the middle of fighting Bakugou like!!! He! Is! So! Smart!!! He managed to hit the nail on the head about exactly what Todoroki needed to hear during their sports festival fight & made him remember that he could be his own kind of hero & that he wasn’t his father! He figured out the fake Uraraka wasn’t Uraraka at all just bc he KNOWS her and believes in her!!! He figured out some of mirio’s strategy while he was completely wiping the floor with the rest of 1a and so figured out where he’d pop up & tho he didn’t win that fight he did last longer than the rest of his class had! He figured out that he could use Eri’s quirk to CONTINUOUSLY SHATTER & HEAL HIS OWN BONES (again he has NO self preservation and I am sad for him) so that he could fight with 100% of his power and hold on to Eri without being rewound out of existence & traumatizing her further & ALSO TOLD HER THAT HER QUIRK IS A BLESSING! I haven’t rlly gotten farther than that in the anime and I don’t read the manga but I KNOW I’m forgetting things but POINT IS he’s really freaking smart which is another thing that makes him so interesting to watch!! Like how many characters do you know that r both really smart & really kind the stereotype seems to be one of the other but bc Midoriya’s awesome like that he’s both!!

ALSO something else I rlly like about him is that he’s kind and cares about people but when someone hurts a person he cares about he gets MAD & will do whatever he needs to do. He was scared of Bkg but when he implied Midoriya gave Uraraka her plan, he snapped at him & was like “it’s her plan not mine you better respect her strength she did this not me!” He was also scared of End**v*r (I don’t blame him! The guy’s freakishly tall, literally covered in fire, and always angry!) but as soon as he insinuated Todoroki was just his pawn or smth Midoriya TOLD HIM OFF he was like “Todoroki’s not you also f*ck you I hate you” (ok the last part is a lil exaggerated but still). When muscular was threatening Kota? He went FERAL & used 1,000,000% of his power (which. How tf is that even possible but I digress good for you Midoriya ily) to beat him just so this little kid (who literally punched him in the balls earlier) wouldn’t die like he was MAD mad. And when he found out what Ov*rh**l was doing to Eri? I thought I’d seen feral before but HOLY SH*T. He literally tried to KILL HIM (good for Midoriya. Child abusers & transphobes have no f*cking rights) he tried to stab him with that sharp piece of rock & THEN he did 100% full cowling with that absolutely chilling expression like he’s so kind but there was NO trace of kindness on his face while he was fighting Ov*rh**l (good he doesn’t deserve it).

ANYWAYS ALL THIS TO SAY Midoriya is so smart and so strong and so genuinely kind & I love him & I wish he’d love himself bc he deserves it! I’m glad 1a cares abt him so much bc it’s!!! What!!! He!!! Deserves!!! Stan Midoriya ok rant over bye

Edit: ok wait rant not QUITE over I’ve got one more thing: with Uraraka’s help he took a childhood nickname that he always HATED (like he specifically says that in the story don’t y’all try to downplay how much it hurt him) & completely changed the meaning. He even made it his HERO NAME he was like “this isn’t gonna hurt me anymore I’ll make it into something I can be proud of” and like. Even tho I don’t like the nickname and refuse to refer to Midoriya with it unless I’m specifically talking about his hero persona, THE POWER THAT HAS. Once he realized that he wasn’t alone anymore he just DECIDED to take something that had hurt him in the past & turn it not something that could comfort people in the future (bc we KNOW that he’s gonna b the no 1 hero & ppl r gonna be comforted at hearing he’s on the scene). He did that. I’m so proud of him.

[janiedean]

I know your anti-HP but the Kylo discourse reminds me of that time a group of people tried to argue to me that if I thought Snape didnt deserve redemption then Dudley (a child that was raised in an abusive/neglectful household, was raised to believe/act in certain things/ways, grew up to realise his parents were wrong and started to attempt to make changes to his behaviour and be nicer) didnt deserve it either. Characters that show regret and remorse deserve a chance at redemption. Others dont.

... anon, idk if I understood the last two things right (i mean if it’s what you think or what the ppl discoursing with you think), but as far as I’m concerned, distancing myself from any hp related implication here because idk idc and if I never hear snape discourse in my life again it can’t be too late so idc about this specific discourse, tldr:

irl people who fucked up and want to do better should be given a chance to. not necessarily by the people they hurt and if they committed a crime they should pay appropriately before, but if they want to? they should have the chance. not being written off as lost causes;

people who aren’t Good Victims ™️ shouldn’t be refused help or compassion just because they don’t react the way they were supposed to;

this thing about whether redemption is deserved or not is a wording that is... weird because like, you get that if you want to do better but like it’s not a question of deserving or not, you don’t do better out of wanting to get the good place points, you just do it and if you do then welcome to the club;

narratively, obviously it depends on author decision - if the author wants X redeemed then they will be and it most likely will have a narrative where X feels remorse for his actions or has a chance to make up for his wrongdoings, if the author wants Y to just be a negative character who doesn’t redeem themselves then Y won’t have that narrative;

now, I think people should be objective about things, in the sense: you can like a character that the narrative had decided is not redeemable or is written as such (let’s go for someone that won’t cause me drama, idk, RAMSAY BOLTON): you can write your fanfic about how that person gets redeemed if you want to, but if you tell people they’re idiots for not wanting ramsay to be redeemed you’re not going to look that great because 99,9% of the audience won’t want ramsay to be redeemed as he’s not written as such. on the other side, if you hate a character (kylo ren FOR ONE) who is blatantly written to be redeemed because he was and it was obvious since tlj at least, you can write your fic or do your hc where he never redeems himself but saying that he’s the worst objectively or that kylo fans suck because they like a horrid character that you don’t want redeemed is useless and just digging yourself into a grave because canon is going there and you can’t do shit about it. like, if you don’t enjoy where canon is going you’re better off making peace with it and writing your au instead of being an ass to people who disagree with you;

now this also goes with the ‘please for the love of god look at the narrative’ angle because honestly denying what the narrative is blatantly telling is not paying anyone any favors and again, you can 100% choose to ignore it but twisting it won’t work (example: I don’t gaf about jon/erys and I wasn’t too big on its canonization but the moment it happened I didn’t spend months twisting the narrative so that it would say what I wanted it to say ie that jon/erys was doomed - it was canon, I just didn’t write it in fanfic nor thought about it beyond what I had to see and ignored its existence when I could and I didn’t go to ppl shipping jon/erys informing them of why I thought S7 was written like trash - why would I?). you can do whatever you want with the characters but like try to keep a healthy divide between what the narrative says and what you want for them and be an adult about it.

now: i haven’t read hp and idc for reading it nor watching the movies but if both s/nape and the kid in question were written to be redeemed because she wanted them to then they were because it was her story and she wanted them to be and idg why people are still arguing about that twenty years later but that’s another problem entirely. if person X doesn’t think kylo ren deserved redemption too bad the narrative had decided he was getting that since the beginning and it’s not about whether he deserves it or not, it’s about what the story is saying. as far as I’m concerned as long as you want to be a good person/better person/do good things in life you should be given a chance to prove it. in literature it’s up to the author. but like one thing is what you want for the character and what the author wants and how the author writes it bc if they’re good it will leave readers satisfied or at least not feeling like they were taken for idiots, if they’re not it’s going to be bad writing. that’s literally it. and I wish this redemption discourse didn’t feel like we think you buy it at the supermarket and/or there are standards for it and if you don’t meet them then whatever.

also: you can hate a thing and recognize it’s well written. like guys ian tregillis’s milkweed tryptich had a last book that took each single choice I didn’t want it to take and I hated what happened to all of the characters......... but that trilogy was actually so well-plotted, tight-knit and well thought and thematically sound that even if I hated everything it chose to be I still can recognize that it was good writing because it made sense, the plot held up and my personal dislike for it and for the protagonist as a person didn’t make it a bad book. or you can like a thing and recognize it’s terribly written or trash or a guilty pleasure. it happens. it’s fine. and when it comes to kylo discourse... it was an obvious redemption narrative with a character that was written to be sympathetic which resonated with some people and not with others which was eventually written badly because it didn’t pay off and 85% of this movie was an insult to the viewer. that’s literally it. and it’s 2019. like... it’s time to let it die especially when he redeemed himself. XD

[miriossunshine]

[1/2] Hey there. Could I get a matchup, please? So, I'm seventeen and really shy. I kind of hate social interaction and I've done most of my schooling online. I really like animals, especially birds, and I own three. I can't really be out in the sun to long because I sunburn easily and a disease I have causes me to overheat really easily. Because of that, I have a lot of inside hobbies, and a service dog for when I do go out. I do have some friends that I met online, and I really like them.

omg ur not weird at all!!! ur so sweet!! 💘💘 ty for sending in a request!!!! i wasn’t sure of your preference of gender in a partner so i shipped you with two characters !! i hope that’s okay!

continued: [2/2] I'm not confrontational at all, and I feel really guilty when I can't stand up for people. I have bipolar disorder, and I have counseling. A lot of this is why it's difficult to make friends, but I try. I'm really observant, and watch people before I decide to associate with them. I like reading books, watching TV, and reading fanfictions because I feel awkward and weird around real people. I kind of struggle with my self worth because of all of my problems. Sorry if I was weird. Thanks.

i ship you with mirio togata!

mirio is really understanding of you not being fond of social interaction and doesn’t force you to hang out or meet his friends right off the bat! but if you ever felt more enthusiastic to make friends he’s more than happy to introduce you to the rest of the big three bc he knows they’re really sweet and understanding people !!

AAAA he loves your birds!!!!! mirio gets so giggly when your birds sing and loves when they perch themselves on his shoulders or fingers ><

he’s such a worry wart when you go outside because of your sensitivity to the sun and is always prepared with any medication or anything that you may need to treat it when you guys are out ! he brings water bottles and kibble for your service dog as well!! c,:

mirio loves spending time inside with you and comes up with all sorts of indoor date ideas for the two of you! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ he loves comedies and u guys would def watch tons of movies snuggled up together !!!

he reassures you whenever you’re discouraged that it’s totally okay to be non confrontational!! he’ll defend you against anyone and it warms his heart that you’d even want to defend him ): 💕💕💕

mirio thinks it’s totally awesome that you have online friends and he always asks how they’re doing ^o^

he takes you to your counseling appointments if you’d like him to and reminds you how proud he is of you for talking about your mental state with someone <3

he also thinks it’s great to be observant and cautious with others, but he can be pretty optimistic about most things/ppl so he usually overlooks this advice for himself bdsnsnfnns

this boy loves u so so much and compliments you all the time !!! they’re all 100% genuine and straight from his heart!!!! he calls you his sunshine bc u light up his life no matter how bad of a day he’s having ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

i ship you with kyoka jiro!

she’s more reserved than her friends and totally understands your preference of staying inside! kyoka thinks ur shyness is cute and relates to it a bit too hehe

kyoka likes to do social things with friends but doesn’t mind at all if you’d rather not meet a ton of people at once! she loves staying in and watching your favorite shows with you and talking about anything that crosses your minds c:

she thinks ur birds are so cool! she loves hearing them sing and i can see her softly singing with your birds when she doesn’t think you’re around to listen ><

kyoka would probably introduce you to koda out of all of her friends first because he’s also shy and loves animals, so you have things in common right off the bat ! 0:

she has the ability to remain calm when it comes to your sensitivities to the sun and is good at not bombarding you with too many questions regarding if you’re okay! kyoka is also totally understanding if you ever need to go inside after being out for too long and she practically drops everything to take you home safely !!

she’s great at being calm around your service dog and not distracting them while you’re out! :D

i can totally see kyoka having some online friends as well !!

jiro can be confrontational if necessary, and if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable about anything she’s at your defense immediately. she doesn’t mind at all that you’re not comfy with confrontation and says she totally gets it!

she’s so proud of you for going to counseling!! she also lets you know that you can talk to her about anything!

jiro doesn’t hesitate to remind you of your self worth and how amazing and worthy of a great life you are!! she’s so proud of you and is always rooting for you!!!

[aelinbitch-archive]

unpopular opinion: i don’t like rowan/rowaelin. i’m not here to convince u to unstan lol ppl are allowed to like/dislike things w/o feeling bad about it omg but i hate that some rowan stans are so insensitive when it comes to those who don’t like him! they’re so thirsty for him that they condemn anyone who doesn’t stan him & then excuse his problematic/lowkey triggering actions bc he’s hot and it’s gross. AGAIN not saying ppl can’t like rowan it’s ok lol but it’s more about some stan’s behavior

That’s totally fair my angel. I dislike the vibe that some people are locked out of the fandom for not being a cheerleader for every aspect of the series, and I hope that my followers/mutuals know that if they dislike stuff I like, or like stuff I dislike, expressing their opinions regarding that won’t ever cause me to cut them off (unless it’s like, some truly gross shit, which disliking rowaelin isn’t). 

Also I have to say, even tho I do like rowaelin, I understand where you’re coming from about people excusing his actions because he’s hot. I’ve toooooootally seen that. And I’ll just be 100% honest - no shade to anyone, but some of the rowaelin content on this website disturbs me a little bit, in terms what’s considered hot/romantic/acceptable when writing or depicting them in art. I’ve seen some weird stuff defended as hot or even just “not that bad.” Which isn’t necessarily a problem with canon, but your ask was more about stans anyway, so yeah. 

A while ago I actually wrote rowaelin meta in response to some other peeps (which was more about Aelin in relation to Rowaelin and how she’s included or not included in discussions of the ship, but it has some thoughts relevant to this ask) so I’m gonna just copy and paste what I wrote below and feel free to read if u want. (It’s like very overdramatic and fiery lmao but anyway). 

I agree with a lot of this, but (at risk of derailing ms aelinapologist’s amazing post) I do have a few things to say, which are

1. OP took two whole paragraphs at the beginning of her post to say that the point wasn’t to discourse about rowaelin being abuse or not abuse, it was to talk about how the conversations centering around said abuse consistently display a disturbing lack of empathy for the character who should be the main concern of the debate. So I just find it a bit funny/odd that the replies (including a portion of the one I’m about to make, I admit that) have been like “Yeah great post! And now to discourse about Rowaelin-” but I digress.

2. I have consistently loved reading about Rowan and Aelin and they’re one of my favorite fictional couples. So nothing I’m about to say is intended to be like “GOTCHA they suck and you suck for liking them!!!” Because I like them as well. A lot. And in addition, nothing about this reblog is intended to be shady or confrontational in any way shape or form. I just think this is a great and very needed discussion I’d like to contribute to, so here goes.

3. Even if we look at HoF alone and ignore how things play out later: yes, they are both mean to one another, yes, they are both in a dark place and end up having a mutually positive effect on one another (so I definitely agree that, at least for HoF alone, it’s not a “douchey guy changes for the heroine story”) but. There IS still a power imbalance. I don’t think it’s entirely accurate to say “they were both bad The End” without also bringing up the fact that Rowan is 300 years old and Aelin is 18, and that Rowan is training Aelin and is in a position that gives him a massive amount of control over her, and that he is stronger and more powerful than her physically, magically, and socially (he is a prince and legendary warrior, she is a AWOL teenage princess currently working as a scullery maid).

Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but I really just don’t think that Aelin, a 17 y/o girl going through an unimaginably shitty time, being like “fuck you!!” to this 300 y/o jerk who doesn’t know shit about her is on the same level as aforementioned 300 y/o jerk hitting her, biting her, and telling her she would have been of more use to the world if she’d died when she was eight.

And in addition to that, we see that his behavior effects her a lot more than it effects him. When he verbally tears her down, we see her experience genuine and devastating despair and shame, whereas everything she does and says to him, no matter how snarky or outright cruel, is not having that same effect on him. People always seem to think they’re giving Aelin credit for being a Strong Woman™ by saying “she’s tough! she can handle it!” when in reality… we have evidence for the fact that she kinda can’t handle it. That the way he treats her in the beginning is slowly wearing her down and sending her deeper into a depressive state. And I don’t understand how it somehow reflects poorly on Aelin (or is even misogynist) to acknowledge this. Women, especially literal teenage girls, should not be measured by their tolerance for mistreatment.

All I really wish is that somewhere along the line we’d gotten a genuine apology from Rowan for this besides a throwaway line in KoA about regretting their “brawling.” And again, none of this is to say “see!! it IS abuse!!” it’s just to suggest that, even as an enemies to friends to lovers story, the “enemies” part was not exactly on a level playing field.

4. But with that being said, I could probably forgive the imbalance in their early relationship, mostly because their later relationship, as both friends and lovers, is so amazing and supportive in pretty much every way. And the great thing about enemies to FRIENDS to lovers, like you said, is that 1) none of the assholery occurred during any kind of romantic or sexual relationship or a transition into one, so it was sort of “fair and square” in that way, and 2) they had the opportunity form a solid, platonic foundation of trust and caring before they crossed into the lover territory.

Aaaaaaaaaand then Sarah did a retcon job on HoF which negated… pretty much all of that. I can totally be down with “good old fashioned mutual hatred thaws into caring which grows into love” but once we start hearing shit like “‘Sometimes, you’d be sleeping beside me at Mistward, and it’d take all my concentration not to lean over and bite them. Bite you all over’” and “‘That was the first time I really lost control around you, you know. I wanted to chuck you off a cliff, yet I bit you before I knew what I was doing. I think my body knew, my magic knew. And you tasted… So good. I hated you for it’”……. hhhhhhhhhhh.

I can’t think of many arguments for this NOT contributing at least a little to the “he’s mean because he loves you (and stick it out because someday he’ll figure it out)” trope. And while it might be a bit different because Aelin was quite mean as well, her behavior was just… meanness. Not some sort of weird outlet for repressed sexual attraction/love. I guess I just get flashbacks of “No sweetie, that boy in your class kicks your desk, pulls your hair, and calls you names because he likes you and doesn’t know how to express it.”

And I think this decision on Sarah’s part to go back and say he was into her all along is 1) a result of the mating bond thing she’s so fond of and 2) kind of a panicked backpedalling to the backlash she might have gotten over Rowan’s behavior in HoF? Which is…. so ironic because she made it SO much worse. In my humble opinion, she should have just doubled down on what she originally wrote as enemies-friends-lovers (and had Rowan bring up his early behavior and apologize in some way), and the problem would have been solved. And while I personally feel that I can recognize this for what it is - a shitty retcon - and enjoy the relationship despite it, I don’t think we should talk over people for whom this is a deal-breaker for the ship.

5. I don’t think about all of this and have the reaction that so many “anti tog” people seem to have of “FUCK Rowan he’s ABUSIVE and PREDATORY and I wish he was DEAD!!!” I think there are things to criticize about his behavior and about the way Sarah decided to spin their relationship, but they have had many great moments, especially in the later books, and I don’t think I or anyone else is “shipping abuse” by enjoying that. All of this is just to emphasize how, in OP’s very succinct words, “your inalienable right to enjoy two characters’ dynamic does not outweigh the right to criticise it.” Because there ARE valid things to criticize, and we as Rowaelin shippers (lol.) need to be careful not to conflate ugly hatred with valid criticism when we speak over it.

And because there IS so much ugly hatred for Aelin and her relationship with Rowan on this website, I completely understand why there’s a kind of knee-jerk reaction of jumping to defense of this ship we love. But that impulse, quite frankly, means nothing to me if defense of Rowaelin includes the erasure of Aelin’s canonical experiences. And maybe this is wacky and controversial, but I’m pretty sure we can express our enjoyment of Rowaelin AND keep Aelin as an individual from being swept under the rug.  

6. More than saying any of that what I really really want to do (and have been trying to do in the previous paragraphs, but maybe unsuccessfully) is bring the conversation back to OP’s original point which was not “abuse!” or “not abuse!” but about how the ways in which we discuss “abuse or not abuse” often includes a stomach-turning lack of concern for Aelin and some frustratingly reductive arguments. And somehow I have the sneaking suspicion that Rowaelin shippers are reading this post and missing the point, which that this is happening on BOTH sides of the argument.

Everyone is perfectly entitled to ship Rowaelin and argue their opinion about its merits or lack thereof, but when we cover our ears and say “she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too la la la la la la la” that’s completely ignoring the genuine pain that she did experience in HoF and the power imbalance that she was subjected to, no matter whether or not we personally feel that it was sufficiently rectified in later books.

And I see this ALL THE TIME, in both the fandom and “anti-fandom”, and I’m honest to god quite sick of it. I’m sick of the willful ignorance of a teenage girl’s pain in order to further an agenda. Yes, it’s more stomach-turning when the agenda is to prove what an evil bitch she is or whatever, but it’s not excusable if your agenda is to prove Rowaelin is great, either! And I don’t understand why we have to throw all nuance out the window and ignore how Dorian hurt her, ignore how Chaol hurt her, ignore how Rowan hurt her, fucking hell, ignore how SAM hurt her, just so we can make our arguments! Because as much as the antis love to scream about “WHAT MESSAGE IS THIS TERRIBLE SHIP SENDING THE TINY GIRL-CHILDREN WHO READ THE BOOKS???” it’s also like, what kind of message is our ongoing discussion of it sending by sweeping a teenage girl’s experiences under the rug when we argue about her relationships?

And like OP said, what have we even got to show for it? No conclusion has been reached, nothing has been achieved besides valuing a romance (or the hatred of that romance and preference for a different romance) over individual characters, namely an individual character who happens to be a teenage girl that has suffered an ungoldy amount - suffered, sometimes, at the hands of male characters we like.

In conclusion, the mass allergy everyone seems to have to giving a shit about Aelin unless its to further their agenda is sickening. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to hear about how poor Manon’s character was “ruined” by Manorian (although not directly by DORIAN, of course, because apparently Saint Haviliard can do no wrong) I’d have enough money to buy a lamborghini and drive it off a cliff like I wish I could every time I hear someone’s terrible hot take about how Aelin is complicit in her own alleged abuse. Yet somehow I’ve never heard anyone complain about the damage done to Aelin’s character by any of the male characters, including Rowan. It’s never “Rowan ruined Aelin’s character!!” it’s “Rowaelin sucks and so does Aelin.” In fact, one of the REASONS Aelin sucks in the first place IS Rowan/Rowaelin! What a great implicit message to send to people reading your “critiques”: if you are annoying and #problematic enough, your suffering will be used against you and you will receive no sympathy for it. Cool!

And for other ships, too: it’s never “Chaol and Dorian, while at points a very good for Aelin, also caused her a lot of pain” it’s either “Chaol was right about Aelin in QoS and both he and Dorian are ruined because of her #chaorian” OR, from the fans, who, again, are not off the hook, “Chaol and Dorian and Aelin are BFFs forever #originaltrio.” And as a teenage girl myself, who loves and identifies with Aelin, who is more invested in her story than anyone else’s… I’m just tired. And more than a little appalled. And I wish we could do better.

[gotatext]

by this point im p sure u all know the drill.... i’m nora, 23, she/her, gmt and tonight matthew im going to be greta o’driscoll, a terrible person but a hot one which frankly makes it almost ok. here is her pinterest..... this intro is literally just copied n pasted frm the last time i played her so soz if u’ve read it like 10+ times.... 

「 diana silvers. cis-female. 」have you seen greta o’driscoll around yet? i hear she decided to be in POTENTAS for their SOPHOMORE year as a CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major. the 20 year old SHEPHERD is known to be tenacious, magnetic, capricious and evasive. ➨ the muse is written by nora, she/her, gmt.

was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.

while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs

was always a really sporty bitch. it started with a junior athletics squad, which turned into athletics and cheer, which then became athletics, cheer and hockey until she basically was doing a different activity every night. she came to see her body as a tool that she could make work for her if she trained it up and this attitude’s always kind of stayed with her that as long as her body is strong she is capable of anything. runs every day. 

bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.

left school at 18 n went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.

TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was working at a strip club. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time.

they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate.

one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea… pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming….. 

she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe

massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch. maybe it’s maybelline, maybe its coke.

massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps.  i hate her 

isn’t a foward-planner, however. greta prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manners so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning. 

not afraid to go after what she wants !! ambitious academically and romantically thirsty !! she loves the adrenaline of the chase. when someone’s easy to get, she becomes bored. very bisexual and very proud of it. feminist as fuck nd part of a queer representation in the arts group which holds fortnightly meetings to discuss lgbt representation in film, literature, art etc.

old soul in a young person’s body. all the shit that has gone on has kind of aged her. she’s quite cynical about everything now. always smoking smoking smoking. very edie sedgwick in that way.  little girls skirts bought for next-to-nothing at the market because she’s skinny enough to get away with it, barely long enough to cover your bum, and then the ugliest baggy sweater you’ve ever seen thrown over it.

likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramphone because “The Sound quality is Better” kfdsjj.

super into pop art and andy warhol. puts female friendships above everything but at the same time, would fuck her best friends man

her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk.

aesthetics:

a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

wanted plots

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sports rivalries ! sporting friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!! 

since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships

 girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

and I want like, fellow criminology students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night?? 

she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry. 

ppl she did a few modules with ie. art history, bio-med, film studies, before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with

 ppl who she runs track with. 

someone she’s trying to make a zine with. 

here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.

would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo

full biography if u can be bothered

trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.

you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.

lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.

you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.

there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.

the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.

you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.

in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.

the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.

[kgstyr]

So if y’all for some reason want to hear about my Hurricane Florence story, then you’ve come to the right place. I raveled with my mother and eldest sister on our evacuation journey, while my sister and her husband and kid stayed home.

I’ll put it under a read more if you don’t want to read all of it, but just know it was a wild ride. And plz do me a forgive bc my memory is kinda shitty and selective so im prob missing great moments.

We left on the September 13th a little after 10 in the morning, but before we had even left, the outer bands of Florence were bearing down on us and we had already lost power.

We rode through the town of Swansboro, were the water was already high enough to lap the bottom of the tiny bridge into the town (even tho its low to begin with) even tho it wasn’t going to make landfall til the next morning.

/Now for all of you who don’t know about hurricanes, they usually only last 24-36 hours. It lasted for over 4 days. When hurricanes linger like that, it only makes it worse, even though Florence was only a category 1, it felt more powerful./

We kept driving, past Jacksonville, but until we got past there, I can’t tell you how many times the radio went off for Tornado Warnings (at least 4) up and down the coast of NC within an hour or so. I’ve been through a number of Hurricanes and Tropical Storms, but hearing all those warnings were a bit unnerving. Flood warnings started popping up as well, and as hard as it started raining I believed it happened that fast.

We drove up there pretty much without incident (we are direction illiterate, so almost without incident) up to the city of Pinehurst/Southern Pines, and stayed up in a hotel there for about 3 days. The first day was p good, we chilled up there- the drivers were aggressive as FUCK like run you off the road- it was real pretty with tall Carolina Pines and worldstar golf courses, just like country club on steroids.

The bed was kinda uncomfy and the window leaked a lil bit, but otherwise the first night was a good rest after a long day of driving.

But the next morning (or two, days get away from me), we went to the lobby to rent the room for another night, only for them to tell us that they had booked our room that day, so we had to leave. We were mad as hell, but we couldn't fight it given as we were in unknown territory, so we packed up our stuff and got ready to leave- only to tell us that they had gotten mixed up and that we could stay another night.

Needless to say, we were not happy about having to unpack, then repack, then unpack again.

When they said Florence was slow moving, y’all don’t understand how slow. usually, when hurricanes hit land, they may slow down for a bit, but they speed up and are usually carried out by the jet streams or approaching fronts within a day. It moved slower than 6 mph: ppl can walk faster than that.

The second day, it started raining where we were, and at first it was sporadic outer bands, but soon it become constant with fluctuating torrential downpours. By the end of the second day, the rains and wind had picked up enough to knock out the power to out hotel for an hour or so.

And the same thing happened with the hotel the next morning: they said they had booked our room, but then apologized and said that we can stay. This time at least we didn’t pack up before that.

Now, we went up to the Sandhills to get away from the flooding on the coast, but it came to us. The rain was pouring, and not letting up, and we went under a flash flood emergency nearly continuously from the second day onward, and evacuations across the county were in effect. After the third or fourth day, we decided to leave the area bc all of the water that was rising and evacuations.

After we had left the hotel area, we passed the town of Aberdeen, and we ended up pulling over at a gas station to look at the map (remember: direction illiterate family here) and that’s when I told my mother the famous line

“We should go back to Aberdeen, Mama.” Saying that we knew our way back home

But she decided not to, saying that we couldn’t go back because of the weather. We tried to travel south a lil bit to skirt around an area that was flooded, but we ended up getting pushed down way father south than we anticipated due to impassable areas and flooding, and we ended up on the outskirts of Rockingham. After riding around for hours, trying to find a way out, we ended up at a shelter for the night at the local high school because conditions had deteriorated to an unsafe level, and we were directed by some very nice highway patrolmen to where the shelter is.

None of us had even stayed in a shelter before, so it was a new experience for all of us. The people running the place were nice, but damn some of the ppl were annoying.

I now hate cots, and my Mama and sister hate them too. I really couldn’t sleep on it b/c of the steel rods in my back (scoliosis) and Mama has bad arthritis, so it wasn’t a pleasant night.

It got worse when Rockingham and the county started experiencing massive flash flooding in the middle of the night, and we were up half the night listening to the weather and keeping an eye out just in case we need to evacuate from the shelter. It became a lil more nerve-wracking when evacuees from other counties (like Horry, SC) were transported to our shelter. It was semi- peaceful at the shelter til like 10 other people were brought in.

I had said this several times by this point, but while we were trying to rest on horrid cots, I told Mama: “We’ve should’ve gone back to Aberdeen.”

Long night short, we were semi- kicked out in the morning, and we packed up our stuff and loaded up the car again, having made a soft plan the night before to head to the next town of Hamlet.

We were so tired and fed up and ready to go the hell home that when the car didn’t start, we all started hardcore panicking, and me and my mama, at least, are not panicky people. At first, we thought the car had gotten flooded from all the rain, but after a quick look around we concluded that that was not it, unless someone had just poured a bucket of water on our engine.

After several minutes of pulling each other’s hair out, we found out that the car just needed some oil. Either the long ride up the Sandhills had burned it all and we had rolled it in on fumes last night, or my sister didn’t exactly tell the truth when she said the car was fully oiled up.

Probably both, but that’s not the point (she is a special gurl no hate plz she tries her best).

After that, we stopped at the nearest Burger King in Hamlet and we tried to plot a course home, this time, trying to shoot straight up towards Asheboro and then going around Raleigh and coming home, because by this point other ppl from my hometown that had evacuated to Raleigh had come home from that route.

We left about 11:30-ish. We got as close to Asheboro as the city of Candor (google map it im bad at distance) and then got stuck on this loop for hours between Rockingham and Asheboro.

Literally at least 6 hours. A good chunk of that was trying to get to a town called Candor. We never found it nor made it.

At this point we were all at our wits end, screaming and yelling at each other (out of love ofc) because we are all so bad at directions that we can’t follow a straight line-

We stopped for dinner at somewhere, I can’t remember where, I think at Rockingham again, and then-

“We should go back to Aberdeen.” I say, and Mama laughs and asks why in hell we should go back. I told her that we had stayed in that area for multiple days and that I knew where the hotels in that area (Aberdeen, Pinehurst, Southern Pines, etc.) were-

It was nearly 6, and we were tired and exhausted and running low on money, so Mama agreed, because she didn’t want to spend another night in a shelter.

And, like I said, we couldn’t turn onto a straight line, so we got lost trying to find a hotel, but by a stroke of a lucky piece of my memory, I remembered where a Holiday Inn Express was in the city of Southern Pines, and we managed to find out way there in a darker-than-expected city. 

It was about 8:30 at night, and we were ready to just fucking perish when me and my sister went into the lobby, and asked the front manager if a room was available.

She said no, because a large part of the city had lost power itself and everybody in the town had crowded into the hotels. I felt my stomach drop just a tiny amount because we had been through direction illiterate hell to get there, just to not have a room for the night.

We asked her if there was any other hotel with a vacancy, and she checked and told us the nearest vacancy was in Durham, well over a hundred miles away. My sister, ever the conversationalist, ended up asking her if there was any way we could just crash in the lobby tonight. She said sure. So, we went out to tell Mama that we could stay in the lobby, and we got what we needed for the night to rest in the lobby.

We fully expected to be in the lobby all night, but then the desk lad left for a bit and told us that even though she wasn’t a housekeeper, she could clean a recently vacated room for us that night. We even got it for cheaper since we couldn’t afford the full price.

Lemme tell you, that was the quickest I’ve ever fallen asleep on a bed, and it was a gucci pillowtop bed too like 4 feet into the air, much better than the first hotel. Breakfast was a bit sparse, but that was understandable since power was limited throughout the city. We thanked her repeatedly for what she did; she had no obligation to actually get us a room, but she pulled a rabbit out of her Miracle Hat and gave us a good 8 hour night of deep sleep.

“See?” I said. “We should’ve gone back to Aberdeen.” My new favorite meme. Even though it was the next town over, it still counts as Aberdeen, right?

Over breakfast and leading up to our checkout time, we plotted our way home, and we headed out and started driving home at noon. And since we can’t follow our own directions, it was a tense few 10 miles or so before we got out onto open highway.

It took us a while, because our car is an older car and can’t get up the Sandhills that well, but we started seeing flatter land, and it was a blessed sight.

Mama saw a sign for the city of Benson, and she turned off the exit to go towards that city because she knew her way home from there.

Except like 300 feet from where she turned, the right front tire blew out. WE were nearly halfway home, and our fucking tire blows out. At the very least, I am thankful that it blew out 300 feet onto the exit and not 300 feet back, because if it had blown out on the Interstate we would’ve more than likely have crashed and killed bc no modern safety features on this old piece of beautiful junk.

We managed to roll it into a gas station on the left on the rim, the tire pushed inward and leaving the metal exposed, and that’s when we all had a coming to Jesus moment because back in Rockingham? Filling up the oil was a simple fix. Tire blowing out? We couldn’t do that on our own.

My sister went into the gas station to ask the clerk to call a nearby mechanic, while me and mama refilled our snacks then sat outside on a patio while we waited. Not 15 minutes later, an old, hunchbacked man came into an old, black truck that looked like it needed some repairs itself to check our tires.

Thank goodness that it was only hat one tire than had blowed out, having somehow been slashed all the way around. My sister, the socialite, told him about our harrowing journey up til that point, and I’m sure he could see the complimentary American Red Cross blankets strewn across the backseat along with everything else.

He only charged $40 for a used tire, a bad lugnut, and labor, which was amazingly cheap. He would only take $40, and he did a pretty damn good job because the ride was much smoother after that, and he even pointed out that the tires were misaligned. We got back on the highway, and started driving again.

The hills had started to flatten out when we got into Wayne county, and the trip was winding and calming down from all of our experiences earlier, but then we started to see signs of actual damage from Florence, not just rain and flooded roads.

It started out as just some snapped tree limbs, then smaller trees, then shingles and metal ripped off roofs and large trees snapped in half- and the smell- if you’ve ever smelt like, water mold or water that wasn’t were it was supposed to be (out of its basin), it was rancid and ripe, and not even rolling up the windows could keep it out of the air. I’ll never forget the smells.

The road was brown along lower areas, signs of recent standing water, and it was really visible as we went by Goldsboro. We didn’t go into the city because we had heard about the flooding, but we could literally smell the destruction.

It continued all the way thru Kinston, the smell of water mold and downed trees and damaged structures- we had to stop in New Bern to get some groceries because there were no more stores open after that stop to our city, and we went into a Food Lion in New Bern. There wasn’t much in there, but we got a few Pepsis and things, along with a tiny styrofoam cooler.

There prices were a little high, so we didn’t buy as much as we had planned on- plus their store was getting rather bare.

Someone stole a bottle of alcohol while we were in there, and that made us get the heck out of dodge super fast. Around that time, we had been passed by a fleet of 21 police cars/ SUVS heading towards New Bern and past it, lights on but no sirens.

We saw a few scattered in New Bern, Havelock, Newport- to stop the rioting and looting from earlier from happening again. When the news says people are looting these cities, they really are. New Bern had a lot of side roads closed, the road was a bit raggedy, and you could see what the constant winds did to the siding and roofs of structures.

Also I think one of those cops caught a guy we saw deliberately run a red light. Justice does work, people.

New Bern was bad, Havelock was worse. Nearly all of their side roads were closed, and over half of their street lights were off, which was not good for driving at like 10 at night. We saw cops lining a side street, and we just assumed that they were doing criminal shenanigans down there.

Plus I forgot to mention, frogs were everywhere. It was too dark to see them, but you could hear them for several counties in standing water. They were having frog orgies, I guess.

We knew the Newport River in Newport had flooded, so when the smell of river flooding was ripe, we knew where we were at. A lot more trees were down, and the road was dirty and brown with tree branches brushed to the middle lane or the side of the road, from what we could see in the dark.

My city  looked like someone took a fucking AOE chainsaw and went down the street and cut all the trees but with bad aim. The closer to the waterfront, the more it was obvious that there was damage, as quite a number of houses had gaping homes in their roofs.

The sister that stayed told us that the day after the storm, it looked like a bomb went off in the city, and even though they had gotten the worse of it off the roads and stuff by the time we got back, I believe that. The structures along the waterfront were flooded with the storm surge, and the cites across the Sound bore the brunt of it.

The power came back on for us just a few hours before we arrived home after 5 days of being gone, so it seems like we have perfect timing for that. Before the power started coming back on, it was like the county was a third world country Africa-style (still kinda is!) with the roads flooded making them cutoff from the outside world.

When people say they need donations, they need them. I’ve never had to go into a church to get a hot meal, but now I have. I’ve never slept in a shelter to get away from a natural disaster, but now I have. I’ve never gone to a store to scrounge around for food to restock our nearly empty shelves with, but now I have.

We didn’t get it nearly as bad as Wilmington, or Fayetteville, or Lumberton, but in the grand scheme, all the cities were affected in some way. 

Speaking of Lumberton, at the first hotel we met a very nice and polite black woman from the city of Lumberton, who said she lost everything in Matthew and was praying she didn’t lose everything this time. If she lost it all in Matthew, hen she probably lost everything including the kitchen sink this time as well. I hope there’s something left for her.

Also my Laptop broke (stupid Microsoft updates) at the first hotel on teh first night.

My apartment building sustained some damage (I wouldn’t call it major, but definitely some repairs are needed). It’s 2-story, and I’ve spent an hour today picking up some shingles and paint chips that had flown off the roof and onto the front side. Nobody else was gonna do it, and I didn’t want little kids to step on one with a nail in it and hurt themselves, and plus I wanted to help.

The wood for the balcony for the second definitely needs to be replaced, actually most of the balconies will need to be replaced, and the porch and lawn lights needs fixing bc many of them are bent or gone. A couple of apartments need extensive repairs in the back, and the trees that have snapped needs to be picked up- and the potholes need to be filled as well, but we’ve all been complaining for over 10 years to get them fixed and they haven’t been solved, and now there’s more- part of the sidewalk/driveway is gone somewhere.

The park across from us needs to have the trees picked up off of it, and it needs to be inspected so it’s safe for the kiddos. It could’ve been a lot worse if Florence hadn’t weakened, if it had stalled any longer.

IDK why u read all of this but for that I give u smooches. I guess this is just why I won’t be evacuating again unless its a Cat 5 barreling down on my ass because this was just 2 stressful 4 my frag ile ass. I guess if you wanna know more u can dm me but hey im just tryna survive in a third world city in America like the best boi i can be.

Just wanna shoutout the hotel desk girl who got us a room, the old tire man who spared out thin wallets and speedy service and that lady from Lumberton who I hope at least is somewhere warm and safe because GOTDAMN was our shelter cold as hell, like I felt like it was a solid 40 degrees in there. Plus all the little peeps along the way who helped us out in minor ways.

Also did I mention ppl driving in the Sandhills are rude and aggressive as hell? Yes? Well, I’m saying this again. They are the kind of ppl to road rage ur ass.

Just keep the smaller cities in the wide circle of Florence’s thot circle of destruction.

Yeet dabs

               ~Jek

[sistarstarly]

What made you go into art in the first place? Like was it a gradual thing or an instant that you decided to be an animator?

Oh this’ll be a long one since it was a question I ask myself pretty often. Could be a lil personal, but sh.

(((YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART; THIS WAS JUST WHEN I WAS INTERESTED IN ART)))

Well, for art wise, it was a hobby that was picked up all because I found out about the warrior cats fandom through Youtube. 

Yeah, I drew like the occasional stick figures (actually triangle ppl with oval heads) and weird creatures because they were fun to draw, but actually drawing something with a meaning? I was drawing warrior cats and my fursona with a fan-made clan because of this fucking fandom. I was so inspired to draw cats and try animating them like my favorite animators. (GinganinjaOwO, Squizy, NiftySenpai, Milkfake [even tho she barely animated warrior cats i was still deeply inspired by her animations lol], etc) I actually don’t remember the time I started drawing; it’s just kinda vague since all I remember from growing up was being “the best drawer” in elementary. I think I started animating when I got my first phone in high school and I learned about Flipaclip. I still have it lol.

Now, when starting high schools in Las Vegas, there are schools called CTA (Career and Technical Academy) schools designed with programs (like culinary, game dev. [v popular], web design, etc.) to get kids ready for college/understand their major before going to college. They were very popular to attend since they were basically private, magnet schools that you could only get to through a raffle.

At a young age (maybe like 6-8 years old), I was always nudged about my college option. I wanted to go to the big colleges, like USC, UCLA, NYU, etc. etc. etc. because my parent’s friend’s kids were going there, but there was the biggest problem for my stupid ass. I had to pick a major. Many of the options I picked were the hobbies/interests I found along the way.

(((YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART ALSO; IT’S JUST ALL THE INTERESTS I HAD BEFORE I PICKED UP ON ANIMATION)))

- Botany ( [age 6-10] living in the middle of the fucking forest, i was a huge treehugger. my favorite color was green at the time bc of plants. i dropped the career plan after i picked up a biology book and couldn’t understand how do flowers reproduce for a grade. i usually got like a C, at most a B, in all of my science classes.)

- Culinary ( [6-now] my parents opened a restaurant when we lived in washington, which got my interest into cooking. i watched the food network all the time when i had cable and we have a huge selection of cookbooks that i actually have right next to my desk rn that i plan to read and keep. i even thought i was ready to work for my parents when i learned how to cook the “perfect ramen” out of the package. when choosing my high school, my first choice was to pick culinary. however, my parents FORBID me to go into culinary/any food-related career mainly because of the food industry and their experiences with their food-relate jobs. i still have interest in cooking, but it’s more of a hobby.

- Environmental Design/Landscaping ( [13-now] i got this hobby when i moved into our brand spankin’ house and my parents wanted to design their own backyard. this was when i realized i wasn’t interested in plants; i was more interested in the aesthetic of plants. this quickly turned into a gardening hobby. we got a garden in the backyard lol

- Interior Design ( [12-now] now here’s the real banger. this was the program i stuck with for 4 of my damned high school years. i was first interested because my family was looking for a brand spankin’ house and we were looking through model homes for like 2 whole years. i chose my school specifically bc it was the only school that promoted their interior design program before i realized all the CTA schools had an interior design program but they didn’t promote them when the high schools came to my middle school. choosing interior design was actually like a gateway to my interest in art schools since most of my classmates turned into design (or literally anything that’s not related to interior design like fashion, marketing, etc.) students. during my sophomore year, i realized i should’ve picked game dev. bc it had the most art creation in that program but i was already too invested in finishing off this fucking program. i developed a love-hate relationship for interior design bc i studied it for 4 years and now it’s just a hobby i picked mainly for the aesthetic of living. 

(((OKAY THIS IS WHERE THE REAL ANSWER IS AT)))

Finally was ANIMATION. I was drawing for most of my life, from drawing on the walls with crayon, to now. But I didn’t think too much about it. At this point in picking a college, I was one year away from having to choose a major before the tests I had to take asked for my planned major and I had none picked out. I had no interest in going to anywhere for a career. I had no interest in anything except drawing; but that was slowly coming to a stop just like all my other interests. I didn’t even know you could draw for a career. I learned about animation as a career when I first meet my friend, Kiba or Kibadoglover45, when I entered her stream one day and heard she attended SVA. As the friendship grew, I decided illustration/animation was the only thing I had to go into. Why? It was the only thing I was good at. I didn’t have any interest at that point besides drawing, and my parents would not let me into college for something I wasn’t interested in. It was at the time that I was ready to just quit a plan for the future because I really didn’t have a plan. All my relatives suggested medical (i refuse to go to medical mainly bc my biggest phobia is literally medical) or accounting (i don’t know jack shit about money) because it made some REAL good money. I didn’t want to hear about it. They didn’t understand.

I was at my sophomore year in high school and was moving to junior year when I meet my online friends and I had recently stopped drawing because I wasn’t improving the way I wanted to. Also it was when I stopped talking to my previous online/RP friends after all the drama/toxicity and my main outlet for drawing was to draw my RP characters. After meeting my new online friends, they encouraged me to keep drawing and that’s when the burst of characters and stories started. I remembered making fanart for someone in that stream, who turned to my friend, Lady/Snow, and telling her that I stopped drawing long ago and that I thought I wasn’t as good as her. She told me to keep drawing because she saw potential in me. My friends were my biggest inspirations and motivators and if it weren’t for them, I would’ve not picked up on animation. Kiba and Milk’s animations were so fucking spectacular and their improvements were just absolutely goals, and I wanted to be just like that. I wanted to inspire others to animate and draw. I was set on having animation as a career in my junior year and now I’m here.

(((BADDA BING BADDA BOOM HERE’S THE TRUE ANSWER)))

So yeah, I guess it was a thing that gradually came. 

[goldenscript]

neighbor!jennie

author’s note: this is in the same universe as neighbor!monsta x <3

the friend crush (turned actual crush) candidate neighbor

in other words, she’s that girl you’re dying to befriend and to get to know and all that wonder stuff

she’s pretty, sweet from what you can see in your comfortable nook beside her home, and she definitely sounds like a blast to be around

minus the times where you can practically hear her and her screeching at each other for only god knows what

last you remembered it was over the last eggo waffle but you’re not gonna judge bc waffles are pretty damn good

you know she’s also a very attentive roommate to her roomie considering she’s always buying groceries and staying up to wait for her roomie too

which also brings up the mention that the walls between the apartment spaces are so damn thin, you can literally hear everything so it’s no brainer than you’ve learned all these things abt jennie by observation than actual talking

ofc you’d love to talk to her!!! you’ve been dying to for so damn long that it actually feels painful whenever you see chances to bc you don’t take them

like

at

all

your friend taehyung’s been nagging you to do it and even your roommate jiwoo who’s been nothing but an observer of you observing jennie and to say the least the two of them just want you to come out of your shell just to say hey bc that doesn’t hurt

right?

well it doesn’t but it does hurt ur pride when jiwoo purposefully locks you out of the apartment for reasons unbeknownst to you (lmao lbr u kno why but ur in denial bC YOUR ROOMIE WOULDN’T DO THT TO U RIGHT?????,,,,,,,,,,,,,)

absolutely, postively incorrect

bc she does and ur stuck in the hallway wondering if she’s actually asleep or if she’s punking you bc you forgot milk tht one time sophomore year (mind you, y’all are third years rn n you rlly wouldn’t b surprised if jiwoo did that ‘cuz of milk tbh she’s that typa person)

and you’re abt to call taehyung and ask if you can stay at his place when you hear a voice that isn’t warbled from a thin wall and is actually directed at u

“ummmm,,, are u ok?”

you actually fumble with ur phone and that causes her to giggle and wow it just sounds so freakin’ nice but holy shit is she really talking to you rn??? is that really happening???????

you’re absolutely baffled but u manage to nod and tell her that your roommate locked u out and she actually pouts on ur behalf and ur actually starstruck a lil’

it’s one thing to hear and observe these actions from jennie but it’s a complete game changer when she’s performing such actions,,,in front,,, of you,,,, and ,,,, for,,, u,,,,,,,,,,,,, FOR YOU

all u can focus on is ur heart pounding incessantly and u swear it’s ur nerves bc hey friend crushes can still make u nervous y’know n ur so engrossed in this tht u don’t even notice that jennie’s grabbed a hold of ur hand and is leading u back to her place

aND UR BRAIIN IS SUDDENLY LIKE !!! bc holy fuck is that really happening???

you squeak out a ,,, “what”

and she just giggles at you n says “it’s no biggie, my roomie’s out with her bf n i can’t just leave a pretty face like yours out! someone might snatch u y’know??”

“t-thank u,,,,”

“jennie” she smiles tho u kno her name n u kno it well tht it actually makes u super happy that she even knows urs bc after u say it she just grins at u and says “i know”

and basically at her apartment, u see how neat and nice it is with all the black and pink decor on her end w/ roses n these really gnarly looking motorcycles tht she winks at u abt bc her baby’s still in the shop rn and she even offers to take u on a joyride somewhere bc you’ve never once been on a motorcycle but u wouldn’t mind going on one

it’s a first for her but it actually makes her light up to see someone showing interest in something that she adores!!!

u eventually find out tht next to motorcycles she actually rlly loves event planning n that’s why she’s doing communications as a major bc one day she’d like to be in her own pr firm n showcase new and vibrant things that’ll benefit others bc next tht she loves helping others so if what she does can helps others then she’ll feel fulfilled in life

it explains a lot considering she’s always helping people,,, like always

from making sure her roomie’s fed to volunteering at homeless shelters to even tutoring young children, she’s even trying to get into a peer mentor program at the local middle school (a lot of it happens at different times in the year but she has no issues with any of it bc it makes her happy)

srsly she works to the point of overwork and even her roomie has to drag her out by the ear just to get the girl to relax

and evidently this is one of those days where she is relaxing (by helping u lolol) but also she rlly appreciates the attention and attentiveness you’re showing her bc you love listening to her talk and explain what certain things are and it makes her so so so so happy ok

at first it’s miniscule things that make her happy from those little hang outs you two will do now that the ice has been broken to even the times you’ll actually accompany her to a few of her volunteering tasks and she’s so certain she’s found a great new friend, a wonderful friend even tho u can honestly say that the friend crush has become more bc holy shit ??? jennie’s amazing how could u not see her as something more y’know?

and even tho ur certain she doesn’t feel the same and jiwoo calls bullshit like every chance she gets with u, the ultimate game changer happens,,, The Sludge

so two doors down are Changkyun and Jooheon, the resident rappers who have had the notoriety of suffering from the horrific gross substance tht no one can rlly label to a T but to say the least it’s Terrible and Nasty and just N O

so even tho those two were struck with it bc of their lack of pay in the water bills, that gross stuff is just traveling all around the floor - even kihyun and hyunwoo and other residents have suffered thru it so on a very unfortunate day it struck jennie and her roomie’s

fortunately her roomie got a place with changkyun meanwhile jennie was kinda left without,,,, n on tht day u actually see her outside of ur apartment door looking v torn n ur like “jennie???”

her eyes go wide and she manages a wave n u ask what happened n she just deadpans n says “The Sludge” so you understand

and instead of waiting for her to ask bc you kno a part of her wants to but the other part that hates being a burden is lingering so you just invite her to stay n u give jiwoo a heads up and tht blonde roomie of urs is like “w/e she’s staying in ur room”

which she does cuz u force her to bc it won’t hurt u to stay on the couch esp when there’s a guest

she’s pretty begrudging abt it but she manages to deal n she actually enjoys the way you’ve decorated everything and notes just how nice it all is and ngl but she doesn’t miss the photo of u n her on ur bulletin board of ppl you care abt n it makes her feels so warm and touched,,,, it’s like the first instance of her becoming certain of her feelings for u

it’s all small ofc but the more she stays with u, the more ur on her mind n the more she enjoys her times at ur place (which ur loving btw bc she’s a wonderful roommate who will help cook n does grocery shopping bc the damn Sludge is still infesting their apartment)

she does what she can to help and jiwoo loves it and you love having her around so much

in this close proximity you’re able to really see those little things abt jennie like how she loves milk ice cream, how she’s very meticulous in the way things are placed, and how she copes with her stress by organizing even if it can be a bit of an issue

like lisa and jisoo have had their entire desktops cleaned n organized to an utter t after jennie’s done with it (jisoo: “there’s srsly never a simple sleepover with her man”)

but for some reason, she won’t do that to your stuff? like ok she doesn’t organize stuff just cuz she wants t disrespect the owner; most of the time it’s ‘cuz they gave her permission but with you??? she’s not sure and she hasn’t asked

it’s different cuz with her friends they let anyone touch their stuff

but you?? she doesn’t wanna just be anyone to you anymore

she wants to go on motorcycles rides with you and take you to her favorite beach when everything’s too much

she wants to take care of you and show you how much she cares and how much she loves those little things abt u even if u hate those beauty marks and “blemishes” and all that other stuff

she wants to hear you talk about ur favorite book and why then watch the movies to talk abt how lame they were or how you loved a movie and why

she just wants to do anything and everything with you and it’s really just eating at her bc this isn’t another event to plan or really something she can just organize away

hell she can’t even ride her motorcycle away bc all she can think abt is the way you practically lit up when she offered to give u a ride n she decides to just take a risk and stop you after one of your classes

you’re a little confused but you go with it bc she seems pretty distracted by something n u need a break from stats anyway so when she hands u her helmet u take it and watch her put on her space

she tells u to hold on and u do for dear life even if ur screaming at ur heart to shut up bc this is the first time you’ve been this close to her and it makes u tighten ur grip bc you dont want her to disappear

funnily enough, she doesn’t want u to either and she just relishes in ur touch

and so you both wind up at that beach and it’s so beautiful n ur in awe bc holy fuck tht ride was amazing and this,,, T H I S is amazing!!!!

she finds you so adorable and she’s just like “yeah,,, yeah this is.....”

n you look at her in confusion, sitting beside her on the shore even if the cool sand clings to ur legs, “what’s wrong? you seem off lately?”

and she shrugs, looking torn once again bc she’s thinking back to how you accepted her in, always offered a hand to her whenever she needed it whether it was helping her carry a box of event programs or even tutoring her in a class, like,,,, she never realized how much she enjoyed you taking care of her bc she’s constantly taking care of others

so she just blurts out “i like you” she goes for it bc why the hell not??? it’s better to get an answer this way

you’re shocked ofc but eventually you’re like “fuck, me too”

bc having her there? so goddamn close???? those feelings really bloomed and it’s silly and cliche but you can’t help but smile and say “jennie i like you too”

and lemme tell ya rn, she couldn’t be happier,,,,even when you both later find out that the Sludge was fixed nearly two weeks ago bc her roomie promised she’d get her back ,,,,, she just brings u close into her arms and u two watch the waves in ease and in this nice mutual satisfaction and rlly that’s all you both could ever ask for~

[youseriousjayse]

Oh shit. I wanna fuck my boss. This is...not good.

I stg I barely caught myself from just walking over and kissing them while they were saying something ridiculous after the shop was closed. Oh fuck oh fuck. THis is bad. They’re married and have kids and they seem like a good person but sometimes…I definitely think they’ve flirted w me before. And I seem to be a favourite for no apparent reason. They talk about their spouse and their personal life all the time to me (esp their spouse), but I’ve only ever heard them mention their spouse like twice to other workers. And they compare me to their spouse all the time. Always saying I sound just like them or I do this or that just like them. ANd I would definitely go for it if it was an option which prob makes me a horrible person, but that’s okay I already knew that. 

Idk how they manage to be both “ur really hot” and “ur the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” It’s maddening. And they’re so fucking funny and that’s my weakness and they’re always trying to make me laugh. idek how old they are. in their twenties im 96% certain. Im horrid at guessing age. there’s def at the v least 5 yrs b/t us. but idrk. I don’t even hypothetically want anything serious. I literally just wanna be able to fuck them and feel mushy about them on the side and end it when I leave next july. Obv this isn’t ever going to happen but thinking about it hypotheticlly helps me short my shit out. idk. idk. i really like thm and they seem to like me. And the thing is it’s not even just about wanting to fuck them. I care about their kids and that means a lot bc i fucking hate kids and one of theirs is an attention whore and i rlly hate that type of kid. but i like them bc they are my boss’s kids and my boss loves them. And I love hearing more about them (even tho it’s always p sad shit about them acting up in school and always being upset bc my boss is never home)

Just…..wow. if anyone needed more proof im fucked up. have at it.

Seriously tho on the seeming interested in me and showing favouritism front, they are…so protective of me. Like they are Never like this with the other employees, and it’s definitely not like I can’t defend myself. The most marked example would be the guy who runs the bodega across the street.

He came in one day, screaming about how my manager had accused his son of stealing. So they were like, I’m not sure what you’re talking about but I’m sorry if there was some sort of miscommunication. And he just kept screaming at them and calling them a little bitch and a f*ggot repeatedly, and threatening to bash their fucking head in. And they were just taking it all very calmly and professionally and saying ‘I don’t recall this happening, I’m sorry if you heard differently’ even though he was physically pushing them and still threatening them and calling them all sorts of things. Then he finally left, but not twenty minutes later he came back, just as angry, shouting the same stuff and hurling around slurs and threats and pushing my manager around. Again, they kept very calm and responded reasonably and evenly the same stuff they had before.

Again he eventually left. But then he decided he had apparently still not had enough so he came back a third time. Just as angry as before, just as hostile and antagonising. The assistant manager on duty had come up front the last time to see what was happening, but had not intervened. However this time she tried to help, also calmly saying the same things as the manager. She had been working the day before and seen the guy’s kid come in and nothing like that had happened, so he started calling her a lying fucking bitch and saying he was gonna kill both of them, and kept more and more violently shoving my manager, which they continued to just calmly take.

Eventually the guy was just was repeatedly calling them a f*ggot again and again and again. And I, also calmly, asked if he could just please stop saying that word and he fucking rounded on me and started really laying in calling me a little bitch and all sorts of things, which I didn’t react to at all, because I have an excellent poker face. But I have Never seen my manager angry at all. Not even a little bit. But they were fucking furious, and they shoved him roughly back to the door (mind you he’s a big fuckin guy) And got right up in his face and fucking snarled Get The FUCK Out Of My Store (I did Not know actual snarling words was a thing, I thought it was just smth writers said to make the angry words more emphatic, but it is a Thing™) and shoved him straight through the door. And then they just took a deep breath and turned back around calmly as ever and was like ‘sorry about that’ to the other customers and started rearranging the counter like usual.

And that whole situation has come up twice since then when we were talking (it was months ago), and both times they were like yeah it was whatever, but when he started yelling at You I fucking snapped. And I’m like. Yeahhh how do I take this. Because I am not defenseless and I don’t look like it and I’m not tiny or fragile looking, we have several other employees more likely to feel the impulse to protect but,,,they never do? It never even seems to occur to them?

Just the other day I had a lady come in who was clearly spoiling for a fight. Rude and aggressive as fuck, but I treated her calmly and professionally bc that’s what I do, but she just kept saying dumb shit, so I kept responding, not in any offensive or upset way, just repeating the facts in a calm manner. She really started yelling and was like 'I don’t like ur fuckin attitude you keep talking back you’re getting all smart with me.’ And I (again. Very calmly.) Explained that I was simply answering the questions she asked. And she was like Where’s your fuckin manager bc you’re being rude as fuck you just keep talking back.

So my manager was at the register next to(?) mine(the counter is like an L shape and has registersat either side of the corner). And they turned around and said 'I don’t hear anything unprofessional or rude’ but she kept yelling over them and talking about how rude I was, so they kept saying I wasn’t doing anything wrong, so they were like 'Okay you can go now. Please leave the store’ and gave her the corporate number when she asked for it angrily, saying she was gonna complain about us (like so??? Fine. Here’s my name and the store # idgaf).

After she left and we took care of the couple of customers left they turned to me and were like 'wow she was really spoiling for a fight.’ And I was 'yeah I mean I saw it when she came in and was super aggressive right off the bat. She was so angry for no reason. Like…chill lol’ and they gave me a sort of look and were like 'I don’t know how you deal with that (((which, mind you, every employee, and Definitely them, deals w shit like that without going off))) I feel like it bothers me a lot more when they get like that to you, than it actually bothers you’. I just shrugged, but again……they dont,,,,do that for other employees. They always stick their neck out for me or get angry (I mean as close as they get to angry, excepting the thing w the bodega owner) on my behalf. It’s…what am I supposed to make of that?

Literally if they’re around and a customer tells me to lighten up or smile or smth (bc my face is just really unexpressive unless I put a lot of effort in) they’ll just smoothly come over and be like 'I’ve got the smile for ya’ or if someone is being aggressive or harrasing about it, they won’t even pretend to be cheerful and nice, they’ll just be like 'My employees don’t get paid to smile.’ Which,,,I’m not the only one who never smiles. Actually it’s just my manager and one of the assistant managers that always smile. The rest of us are p brusque and more obviously dead inside and dislike interacting with people. But again, they’ve never done that or said anything for another employee (that I know of, obv I’m not always around, but I’m around enough to feel like I practically live there).

And just. Bloody hell, they will talk about aggressive customers and tell me the customer got in their face and will be like 'seriously, like this’ and move their face so we’re barely not touching. Like. ???!?!?!????? And they get real close to me and brush by me a lot. Mind you, they do not do this to other employees (esp the face thing), but they’ll like lean over my shoulder to look at my paperwork or make fun of me (not like in a mean way just something stupid) or they’ll come over to put their numbers in (bc we need higher clearance on the computers for like,,,almost everything it’s so stupid) and they’ll like get right up next to me or squeeze in front of me. Which again, they do not do to others, and no other employee does that to me or anyone else.

If this was a book ppl would be pissed about the slow burn like Okay Why Aren’t Things Happening Already??! But unfortunately real life and an actual human being is more complicated than that. And I don’t know what to do with it.

~update: they just turned thirty. Fuck. I’m just barely twenty.

Edit: New jeans. very nice new jeans. dammit please stop rearranging the shelves in front of me while i’m trying to work, your ass is distracting. And a new tight tight jacket too and they wear it with the sleeves pushed up right below the elbow and that’s just. Always hot. The fucking jeans together with that stupid cursed jacket makes it incredibly difficult to look away. They’re just hhhhhhhhh I can’t. This is. So much.

YEAH I could prolly go on about them forever, but I know this is super obnoxiously long. I don’t know who I’m apologising to tho bc literally nobody reads this. Which is prolly why I overshare but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯