#bear in mind the simple render takes maybe and hour and 2-3 effect layers
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A serious question for my brain: Why!??
#I hate that I have a bad evening yet again#one would think I would be over the moon giddy and happy still after Jere blessed me earlier#jokes on me I guess#all it took was a 'not even bad comment' feedback on my art and now I feel nothing matters#tbh I don't like where my rendered art is atm#I have some few instances where it turns out amazing#(like with the Berlin or Malmö redraws)#yet most often than not I hate it#I am not satisfied with how my käärijä zine piece turned out#or the 1 year anniversary for tavastia#or the birthday present to myself of me and Bojan#some of these on a very bad day is directly unappealing (ugly) in my eyes#and now I was just asked if there was any difference between my simple and detailed render not by one but two artist friends#bear in mind the simple render takes maybe and hour and 2-3 effect layers#the detailed render takes 3+ hours and oftentimes 25-30+ layers#if fellow artists cannot even see the difference on me putting in effort and the rendered art doesn't look good to me anyways#why am I even bothering#maybe I should just stick to sketching#it seems to be what works out in the end most of the times anyways#or maybe I am just dramatic#one thing's for certain: this sort of killed my mood for drawing#which is not great when working on commission examples + wanted to work on thumbnails for zines#why am I like this#micahs thoughts
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