#because imagine him using a functioning toilet for the first time 💀

[avvail-whumps]

Royal Bought: Sampling #5

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content warnings: vampire whump, defiant whumpee, human auction house, captivity, manhandling, minor blood

The vampire’s grasp was unrelenting, but that was to be expected when Luke had done something as stupid as spit in his face. 

He could still taste the sticky glob of blood between his teeth, pooling from his split lip, a numbing, throbbing sensation having replaced the aching pain by now. The tip of his boots clipped against the edge of the stairs as he was unceromiously hoisted up, his eyes watering. 

Luke heard the clang of the door being pushed open, revealing a more modern interior as he was led — or better yet, dragged — down the corridor. It was buzzing with workers passing by, mostly vampires, but even then, Luke caught a glimpse of some of the blank faced humans working obediently. 

It sent a shiver down his spine. 

No one really paid attention to them, all except the occasional glance, no doubt due to Luke’s bloodied face and the way he was being manhandled down the corridor. Was it uncommon for humans to fight back? He didn’t think it was that, so much. They were merely glancing at him as if he was this wild, untamed dog with no manners. 

The vampire eventually came to a stop in front of a door, pushing Luke inside the room with a hard shove. He staggered, the grip on his hair having been released, a cry of relief coming from his sore scalp. The door was shut behind him, and even though Luke wanted to wrench his head around and send a deadly glare towards the creature, he was more taken aback by one sat on a comfortable looking couch in front of him. 

This vampire looked older, his lips pulled into a calming smile. 

The room was strange to Luke. He had grown up in a camp in the middle of the wilderness, making use of anything they could around them to live. There were things in here that he had never seen before - more namely, the light source of the room. There were no windows here, and yet, the place was not shrouded in darkness. 

Luke’s eyes wandered around in confusion. 

“Welcome,” the older vampire hummed kindly, gesturing to the space in front of him. “Please, take a seat.”

There was a table with rectangular sheets of paper and what seemed to be some sort of small kit of tools. Luke’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, throwing a subtle glance over his shoulder. The previous creature had closed the door behind him, remaining in the room. He was looking at Luke with disdain etched into those hardened features.

“There’s no need to be afraid,” the older vampire lulled, drawing Luke’s attention back to him like a magnet. He swallowed uneasily at the pleasant aura the vampire was exuding. His voice was soothing and calm. Why? Wasn’t he here to be sold off? “I know this all might be a little new and confusing for you. Let me introduce myself: my name is Silvan. And you must be Luke.” 

Luke shifted uncomfortably at the knowledge of his name, uttered with such confidence. Silvan must have been quite an old vampire, considering the skin on his pale face was slightly weathered, and there were hundreds of years lingering in his eyes. He was wearing a tailored suit, black on dark raspberry sorbet, contrasted against his greying hair. 

Silvan’s eyes were intense, even when Luke wasn’t looking at them, and it was like they were stripping every personal detail from him with ease. His voice was like smooth velvet when he spoke, low, dulcet tones coming from his tongue.  

“You lived beyond the Collared Forest, am I correct?” 

The first vampire moved silently behind him, as if his feet didn’t even touch the ground. When Luke glanced at him again, he had retreated from the door, boxing him in. Unlike Silvan, this was a clear warning to sit down and do as he was told. 

Luke’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, the taste of copper still fresh on his tongue. Against his better judgement, his legs managed to gain some of their strength back, and he begrudgingly circled around the plush couch, sitting opposite the older vampire. The material was incredibly soft, and Luke wondered what it was made from, how it was shaped in such a peculiar way, and if everything here was this comfortable. 

“Why do you care?” Luke gritted out, his narrowed eyes watching the older vampire like a hawk as he reached for some soft tissues out of a box, holding them out for him to take. He didn’t. 

“Ah, I’ll take that as a yes then, I suppose,” he mused, brow cocked in amusement. His pointed eyes flitted over to the other vampire with a hum. “His blood?” 

“He was misbehaving,” he sniffed codly, nose turned up. “He’s ill mannered and has a ridiculous temperment.” 

Luke was almost offended. They were talking about him as if he couldn’t hear them. 

“The scent will spread fast, Silas,” the older vampire sighed deeply, his head tilted and hands back in his lap. He didn’t look like he was even considering Luke’s blatant rudeness for ignoring the tissues handed to him. 

“So do rumours,” Silas spoke smoothly. “It won’t matter in the end.” 

Luke’s fingers twisted into his thighs. The older vampire’s gaze had almost softened for a brief moment when his eyes wandered back over to him, as if remembering that Luke was here and they had a job to do. Judging by the kit on the table and the way the other boy had informed him that humans were hoarded off for “sampling”, he figured this was exactly that. A sampling of his blood to determine if he was expensive produce, he didn’t doubt. 

“The process can be pleasant if you just behave,” Silvan smiled warmly, speaking to him as though he would be inclined to take him up on that advice. “You’re very important to us. We don’t want to have to hurt you to keep you in line.” 

He found that hilarious; vampires weren’t exactly a beacon of truth. The sticky blood on his face and the numbness of his lip was a reminder that they had no issue hurting their livestock if it meant keeping them in line. 

“Bullshit,” Luke hissed, his nose wrinkling in disdain. “Important? You’re selling us off like cattle.” 

“Cattle?” The older vampire mused. “You’re not cattle. We pride ourselves on taking care of our merchandise. We make sure you’re all healthy, fed well, given the proper care and attention when you need it.” 

“You sell us,” Luke breathed, his voice almost breathless from even having to utter such horrifying words. 

“What happens when you’re bought has nothing to do with us,” Silvan informed firmly, as if that justified the crowd of humans they had awaiting their horrible fate down below. “But here, Luke, you’re safe. If you don’t behave, then we, unfortuantly, have to take the necessary precautions to keep you in line.” 

Luke licked his lip. The flesh flared with a raging intensity for a brief moment, and he could map out the distinct tear. Almost to make a point. Silvan noticed it, but he didn’t comment, head tilted in curiosity. 

“Physical violence will, of course, be enforced if you don’t cooperate,” the older vampire hummed. “But as I’m sure you know, we have much better, and much tamer, methods. They can feel good.” 

He made sure he wasn’t looking at Silvan’s eyes. He felt himself shivering at the memories of Justinian’s compulsion, not wanting his own bodily autonomy to be stripped away from him like that so easily. 

“Feel good?” He echoed bitterly. 

“Of course,” Silvan smiled. “Some things can be quite euphoric. Compulsion can relax the mind and the body. Even a feeding, if handled properly, can feel good for you, too.” 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“Many humans quite enjoy it,” the older vampire chuckled softly. “They offer themselves up willingly. That’s the price of cooperation in this place. As a human who grew up beyond the Collared Forest, I don’t expect you to understand fully just yet.” 

Luke’s chest bubbled with an irritated scoff. His leg was bouncing anxiously at a continuous pace. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” He growled slowly, not missing the way Silvan gestured to Silas for a brief moment, who stepped around the table to collect the tissues the older vampire handed to him. Luke suddenly went tense on the couch when Silas turned to face him again. 

“You are somewhat of delicacy,” Silvan hummed, treading carefully as if he was pondering on the words as he said them. “It’s rare for there to be humans who lived so far from our territory here. You’ll cause quite a stir in the markets once word spreads around. Especially if the scent of your blood is anything to go off.” 

His fingers twitched, itching to reach for his necklace and squeeze it tight for any sort of stability. His heart began racing even faster than before, throwing him for a loop. His adrenaline surged as Silas stepped closer. 

“Am I supposed to appreciate that? That I’m good money for you?” He hissed coldly, leaning away from the vampire as prowled closer. “Stay away from me.” 

His demands were ignored. 

“You want to sample this blood?” Silas asked, his nose wrinkling in disgust at the sight of Luke’s face. A hand closed around his forearm, yanking him back across the couch with a force that gave his shoulder an ache and his skull a wobble. 

“No,” Silvan hummed, rising from the seat himself, and leaning down to collect something sharp from the tool kit in front of him. “I’d like it fresh from the vein. But, please. Wipe his face - and let him struggle.” 

Maybe it was a cruel demonstration of how no matter how hard Luke fought against this, there was nothing he could do against them. No matter how many times he thrashed, ignored the throbbing pain from the tight holds, or retaliated with his own kicks and smacks, there was nothing he could do. 

Silas had him easily pinned down on his back, one single hand locking his wrists together above his head. The vampire’s knee crushed into his ribs, pressing down uncomfortably onto his lungs, careless of Luke’s comfort as he wiped the blood from his face. Luke’s legs kicked out, breathing heavily between clenched teeth, screaming muffled curses and insults against the hand clamped over his mouth, tissues soaking up any fresh blood from his wound. 

Silvan was hovering over him now, and Silas easily wrenched his head to the side, exposing the flesh of his neck. Goosebumps exploded across the expanse of skin, and squeezed his eyes shut tight.

“It’ll sting only for a moment,” Silvan warned him calmly, the feeling of cold hands prodding against his neck making him squeal. He felt a sharp prick, his body seizing against his own will. The older vampire pressed something cold against the area, gave it a couple swipes, and then drew away. Silas’ disgruntled expression darkened for a second, letting Luke stew in the position for a moment, before finally letting go of him. 

He slapped a hand to his neck, sitting up so fast he’d almost gone dizzy. 

“What did you do?” He snapped, his voice still trembling from the hysterics he’d built himself up to. His heart was pounding hard against his ribs. Silvan pinched the small, blood coated needle with his fingers, opting to ignore Luke for a moment. He swiped the needle swiftly against his tongue, giving himself a moment to taste the blood. Silvan then hummed, folded the needle between a white napkin, and placed it down on the table. 

“Interesting,” he merely commented, and Luke awkwardly rubbed the side of his neck. “Though, I am not suprised. It’s guaranteed his blood will attract many well-off vampires.” 

Silas dumped the bloody tissues in the bin. He didn’t look pleased by the situation at all, his eyes darkened and his expression grim. He wasn’t fatigued by Luke’s struggle at all, having not even broken a sweat, it seemed, or put in hardly enough effort to even quicken his breathing compared to him, who was still trying to catch his breath. 

“He’s rabid,” Silas sneered. “Doesn’t matter how attractive his blood is. No one will take him with such an imputent temperament. None that could match the price, certainly.” 

Silvan took a seat once more, throwing one leg over the other languidly as he observed Luke with those gleaming eyes, as if calculating exactly what he had in store for him. He clenched his jaw, trying not to let any slither of fear pass over his face. He didn’t want to give them the satisfaction if his fight caused them this much trouble. Luke wasn’t going to make himself easy to sell. 

“We have plenty of time to prepare before the auction,” Silvan informed, though he seemed to be talking to Luke as well. He refused to catch his eye. “We’ll give you an opportunity to settle into your circumstances, Luke. I understand this is difficult for you, but there is no denying the inevitable.” 

Bitter resentment, as well as this cold, crackling helplessness cut through him like a knife. His voice had almost lost its strength. “Fuck you…”  

Silvan only smiled warmly. 

“I’ll be sending you to Ileana, now,” he explained, his hands interlocked on his lap casually. “She will take care of everything from there. She’s be your handler, and believe me, our aim here is to take very good care of you. You’ll be provided quality food, clothes, and a room to stay.” 

Luke bristled. “Lucky me, huh?” 

Silas’ eyes narrowed an inch. “She will also be teaching you how to best accommodate your master, or mistress. It won’t be good for you to misbehave, Luke. We’re giving you the benefit of the doubt because of your…” He gave him a subtle once over. “...unique upbringing, but push your luck, and we will, unfortunately, have to risk completely stripping your mind.” 

He remembered the humans he’d seen down the corridor. Lifeless eyes, blank faces, mindlessly following their orders. An empty shell to be used. A horrible shiver rolled down his spine at the thought, and he was sure Silvan caught on to the way his heartbeat quickened.

“You don’t want that, do you, Luke?” 

“I don’t want any of this,” he croaked. 

“Well,” Silvan hummed, unsympathetic. “That is something you will have to come to terms with.” 

The older vampire suddenly straightened, glancing at a unique looking contraption on his wrist. Luke eyed it wearily. 

“We need to press on and sample the rest of the humans,” Silvan smiled, his gaze flickering over to Silas with a beaming smile. “Please take him to Ileana and bring me the next one.” 

Luke’s expression soured when Silas grasped his arm tightly, yanking him onto his feet. He gave a firm tug, but he wasn’t going to shake the vampire’s grip from him, not without a miracle. He could feel Silvan watching him go intently, his voice rising when he got to the door. 

“Good luck, Luke,” the older vampire grinned, flashing his fangs. His voice went right through him, making his stomach twist. “Have a pleasant stay.”

tag list – @whumpatize-me-captain @whump-me-all-night-long @softvampirewhump @d-cs @obsessednerd505 @suspicious-whumping-egg @sapphirechao @sparrowsage @excessive-vampires

[attic-club-sandwich]

I posted 1,084 times in 2022

That's 1,036 more posts than 2021!

110 posts created (10%)

974 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pridecomethbeforethefall

@eternallydaydreaming2015

@delphi-dreamin

@teenytinyrayofsunshine

@belphieslilcow

I tagged 1,064 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#obey me - 660 posts

#obey me mammon - 145 posts

#obey me lucifer - 97 posts

#bleach - 89 posts

#obey me belphegor - 89 posts

#obey me leviathan - 74 posts

#obey me beelzebub - 58 posts

#spy x family - 56 posts

#obey me satan - 55 posts

#code geass - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 71 characters

#this gives me butterflies i can't even imagine how miya was feeling lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

using my VIP privilege to provide you with DiaLuci in a convertible.

121 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

#4

Belphie has Lucifer blocked 💀💀

130 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#3

I'll Protect ya, Little Human

Obey Me! Commission by @moinstarr ⭐ Recently I commissioned amazingly talented Moin to draw my MC Shae with Mammon! Please go check out their blog, their art is so beautiful! 💜 This was my very first commission piece i've ever requested and I'm so so impressed. My idea was that Shae has a little run in with an out of control demon and Mammon comes to save the day. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT MOIN’S PERMISSION.

156 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#2

After some thoughts, I'm deciding to post this again....but with very detailed notes about the reader!

Summary: A short drabble about MC getting their period for the first time since regaining their human form in the Devildom.

Mammon x AFAB! MC

CW: MC has a vagina and menstruates. Period content and blood mentions.

ONLY HUMAN

Being stuck as a sheep in the Devildom was hard, but you were beginning to think that being a human in the Devildom was even harder. Since you regained your human form, your body had started to go back to its normal functions, which included your first monthly cycle since being human in the Devildom.  

Your sleep was interrupted all night long due to the dull ache of cramps in your lower abdomen…unfortunately you knew that ache well. Your period had started in the middle of the night, and you had completely forgotten to get any sort of products for it. Not that you even knew how to go about asking any of the demon brothers. You reach over to your bedside table to check your phone. Squinting, you could make out that it read 3 a.m. Of course. You sigh, kicking the covers off of yourself and head to the bathroom.  As you sit on the toilet contemplating your next move, your phone buzzes. Who would be up at this hour? You thought as you reached for your phone once again. You had a text message from him.

Mammon

“Yo, MC! I can’t sleep. Are you up?”

Your heart begins to beat faster at the thought of the white haired demon texting you this late at night. 

“Yes. But I won’t be much fun…I'm not feeling the greatest.”

“What?! Why didn’t you say something sooner?! I’ll be right there!” 

You can’t help but giggle as you picture him hopping out of bed and tripping over his own feet as he struggles to put on the closest nearby article of clothing. Because he has nothing on when he sleeps, you thought. You felt your cheeks heating up as you shook your head, this is no time to be fantasizing about the Avatar of Greed. 

You quickly stumble out of the bathroom and pull on a pair of shorts as you hear a knock at your door. “MC, I’m comin’ in, okay?” You turned around to meet Mammon’s gaze as he looked you up and down. “W-Wait. Why do you smell like blood? What the hell happened?!” You sighed as you sat down on your bed, Mammon taking the spot next to you. “I’m okay Mams. I uh, just got my period is all…” It seems to take him a few moments to process what you said. “Your period…? Oh wait, I think I remember reading about that somewhere…in one of Satan’s books about humans.” You nodded. “Yeah, my fragile human body is making me feel a bit sick right now.” Mammon hummed as he  gently placed his hand on your forehead. “Well you’re feelin’ a little warm, and it’s my job to take care of the fragile human! So tell me what you need and I'll get it for ya!” You giggled at his enthusiasm. “Well for one, I need some supplies…I never got anything while I was a sheep.” Mammon nods and jumps up, I’ll go get ya some right away. Need anything else?” You leaned against Mammon’s side as you thought for a moment. “Painkillers, for sure. And snacks.” The second born nodded and stood up. “Sure, you relax and I’ll be right back!” He was about to leave your bedroom when he hesitated. “Wait a minute, let me tuck ya in so I know you’ll stay put!” Your eyes widened in surprise as Mammon made his way back towards your bed. “Go on, lay down!” You giggled and slid back under your covers. Mammon pulled the blankets up around you and gently tucked the sides around your body. “Good. Now stay where you are and I’ll be back with everything you need. I’m gonna hack into Levi’s Akuzon account. That way it gets delivered here ASAP!”

235 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

1,016 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Hehe this is cute! I can’t believe that Manga post blew up though omg

[grandtorinaa]

Obey Me Bathroom Headcannons (Brothers)

Assorted texts from me rambling about the obey me characters bathroom habits at 3am

There's a second part with the side character s

Lowkey I head cannon that Levi would pee in a bottle just to avoid his brothers

He doesn't leave his room for days he's probably constipated enough not to leave either, because he probably eats bad too

he either bathes very often because he likes water or doesn't take a legitimate shower for days and just uses a washcloth and bucket to wash up when he really needs it

Asmo is disgusted, his eyes are closed

Mammon is the one getting timed for his showers because he will absolutely use all the hot water

Asmo said the communal bathroom is for peasants

Beel 100% takes monster shits and he gotta let people know he using the bathroom beforehand to prevent potential casualties or damage to the surrounding area

Belphie is the one who busts in without knocking and makes eye contact with you in the toilet while saying nothing and closing the door

Satan is not allowed books in the bathroom but on occasion he locks himself inside to escape the brothers

he has a rack of bathroom only magazines but he also reads shampoo bottles

Mammon is the one who has repeatedly been forced to pee outside because someone else always happens to be in the bathroom

MC catches him and Mammon turns around to explain himself and liquid is still coming out like please sir

Satan uses 3 in one shampoo and a soap bar on his face and his still is somehow still clear skin. He got old spice for special occasions

Asmo taught mammon skin care and saved his model career

Levi washes his face with water, and nothing else, maybe a washcloth if he feels fancy

Mammon brushes his teeth with soap sometimes and honestly same

He has good hygiene, could you imagine how his family would roast him if he didn't 💀🖐🏾

Asmo called him musky husky and he ain't been the same since

Beel is pretty clean and Belphie smells like how your mouth feels when you wake up every other time you meet him, like, that weird smell babies have

Beel has eaten all the body soap in the house once

Beel and Belphie are my last two braincells trying to function

Lucifer is the one person who lowkey analyses his defecations and stuff for health reasons I don't know why I think that but he does

Someone forgets to flush and he's like "Which one of y'all isn't eating enough fiber?"

He also doesn't buy them new toilet paper if they use it too fast either

Mammon wiped his ass with clorox wipes once and he had to go to the emergency room because he got an infection afterwards

"Me and MC did a blood pact where we put bleach in our asses" - Mammon in that reality

Satan also likes decorating the bathroom but all his decorations are tacky cat ones that don't really match

He'll buy random shit off Amazon he finds interesting

Levi has very little bathroom presence but Belphie walked in on him once and the poor man almost fainted before yelling at him that he needs to knock first but belphie is like "it's not my fault you didn't lock it"

Belphie be starting shit

Belphie uses YOUR soap but when you confront him he's like "It's our soap now" and you have to go to Luci because belphie decimated the entire bottle in 2 weeks

Belphie also has the old man style bath robes and slippers and grunts around like an old man when he wears them

Beel will be the one to step on shower curtains while he showers and accidentally rips up the curtains

Mammon the one leaving water all over the floor after he showers

Satan showers but he likes baths alot

Beel buys either ocean scented products or warm honey/vanilla type smells

Satan was the cucumber melon girl in school don't @ me, Levi and Asmo with the Japanese cherry blossom headassess

Luci likes to really savor his showers when he can and probably plays music during his, and his room has one of those air freshener despenser things. If you interrupt his shower/alone time he will confront you dick out and everything because he just wants to be left alone for once lmao let him rest please