#because of whatever criteria
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I pondered on this for a while before deciding to type up this reply because I genuinely can't choose. I can't even pose a hypothetical in this scenario.
Which one deserved freedom the least? Going down the list piece by piece there are reasons for each of them to 'deserve' their freedom, but ultimately I'm stuck on the fact that each of these are a facet of the Shifting Mound.
Each of these vessels has been molded into who they are because of you, because of the LQ. How can you pass judgement on who deserves to stay locked/imprisoned wherever they are, when you're the one who created each one?
If the question were 'Which one deserved freedom the most" it'd be a toss up for me between Wraith or MOC. It's not an accident that both can be gotten from the Nightmare. While I think all the vessels deserve to leave, those two became who they are through the glimpse of hope (leaving with the LQ), only to have it be ripped away.
I think there's a heavier undercurrent of loss with the fact that in the Nightmare route and from her perspective, the LQ leaves. Rather than even attack, because hate is an easy motive. But in Nightmare, the LQ leaves, possibly because she's not worth the effort it would take to free her.
In my opinion, that lends itself towards saying that MOC or Wraith would "deserve" freedom more than the other vessels
....
But for who would deserve it the least? I thought I'd have an answer by the end of this but I still don't. I can't imagine choosing a single one of the listed (or unlisted) vessels to say 'you deserve this the least'. They're all parts of Shifty, they're all fragments of experience. And it's my overinflated opinion that they all deserve the very best, and that includes leaving.
Alright, experimenting time, part 2...
(Once again, a few things:
If your decision is too nuanced to have a single answer OR if you have a preference for The Drowned or Burned Grey, put a comment or reblog with your take.
This ain't for dunking on your most hated princess. Please try to put your biases aside before answering for the sake of the experiment.
Don't be afraid to have a clear answer and share your reasoning. "There are no wrong decisions, only fresh perspectives.")
#slay the princess#stp slay the princess#stp vessels#stp moment of clarity#stp the wraith#stp the shifting mound#oops that's a few paragraphs#i didn't mean to go that long but you can't just ASK ME THAT#while i do have favorite vessels#i genuinely don't have one that i hate above the rest of them#they're all a product of their circumstances#and what any one of them 'deserves' shouldn't be based off of their worst actions#add to that the fact that they're all parts of shifty#and i don't see how you can say one of them deserves to stay a fragment more than the others#in one of the lines with shifty#when you ask her how many more vessels you need to find#she says “the rest will find their way back to me”#that means that inevitably#all of these listed would find their way back#independently#if the LQ didn't interfere (granted she needs the interference in order to achieve that final stage)#but who are you to decide which one is worthy to find their way home?#what right do we#as the players#have to judge the consequences of our actions and say#“no you're actually never leaving”#because of whatever criteria#when we're the reason that ANY ONE OF THESE VESSELS#is the way that they are?#bubble podcast
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girl one of my school friends straight up just said 'i wish i was a girl but im not so it is what it is' and when i replied 'i'm gonna forcefem you im going to slip estrogen into your sandwich' """he""" was like 'i wish'
by the time we graduate i want """""him""""" to change """""""""his"""""""""" pronouns. any tips?
Get some pills into her food now!!
#But seriously.#Talk to her. Tell her that if she wants to#She just can#That there’s no criteria besides will#And give her the time to accept that#Be here for her if you can#It’s not easy for the new girls#To understand that there’s no magic sauce that makes you trans#That you don’t have to know it from birth#You can just wake up one day and decide it’d be fun#Because gender is whatever you make it to be
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[trying to pick a second language for my guy who's studying magic but specifically probably magical engineering with a mind toward an artificer multiclass]
[looking at Gnomish and sweating]
#LOOK--#sdhkfg the THING is it's a rare and unusual language (and also a famously difficult one to learn as a non-native speaker)#but it's also a highly technical one.... it's THE sciences language.....! IT MAKES SENSE OKAY#it's just really funny because the way the gnomishness of my dnd playing has snowballed was an ACCIDENT#juniper is also a human who speaks gnomish but at the TIME she was only my third PC you know?? 😭#ambrose speaks gnomish because it's relevant to his field of study AND because I was gonna start as friends with a friend's gnome PC#felix is a gnome because I was like 'fuck iiitttt who caressss I'm never gonna play this character anyway I can do whatever I want'#indigo is a gnome because one of my friends was like 'we should make an all-gnomes pirate ship and run one-shots'#and then their current campaign DM was like 'heyyyy you should play indigo in it'#idri was a gnome out of contrariness and melliwyk was a gnome so she could fit in a backpack (her concept origin)#anyway frankly if I have an unusual number of non-gnomes who speak the language it's because iiiii am the only one who knows it's relevant#(also justin. because he's married to me and is subjected to all my opinions. [blows kiss] simon speaks gnomish which Makes Sense!!)#I just get self conscious fgkhjfdkj. parody of myself for real. yeah sure my guy speaks gnomish why not!!#I don't have any other particular criteria around which to base the extra language decision#embarrassing tho cause it's a public character sheet game#[friends seeing gnomish on my languages] that's what I thought you'd say you dumb fucking horse
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...some other pink variant but within the magenta category
#one of my classes this term we have to give a fictional character a proper diagnosis and treatment plan from the DSM 5#the fictional character had to be from a list of movies pre-selected#but I made a good argument for the inclusion of video game characters because of the immersive story telling element#and how the characterizations can be just as effective as watching actors on a screen#prof accepted the argument and may want to include video game characters next term#but as a consequence I'm kind of the guinea pig so she presented a friendly challenge: I give her a list of characters#she briefly goes through them via google and whichever one will probably hit most of the paper criteria and cultural/ethical considerations#is the one I have to write my paper on#hell yeah challenge accepted lady! if I can make progress for future students to write about whatever the fuck they want lets gooo!#so i gave her a list of all my blorbos#she definitely knows my type at this point and im fucking scared of how anything i say can and will be used against me in a court of law no#well the pick of the litter is Luis Serra Navarro#cause he hit most of the marks and she thought the cultural piece on his end would be a good challenge from a counselors pov + cult trauma#that list had all my husbands and wives (no joke 15+) on it so there was no way I'd lose so I felt pretty good#she remarked that she was tempted at the Ardyn and Karl types cause “he looks neat” but took one look at their info on the wiki and thought#“This man is so fucked up its gonna take more than 10 pages to cover everything lets keep it simple”#she said it nicer than me but i thought that was funny as shit (jokes on her Luis is probably gonna take up 10 depending on my bandwidth)#anyway at some point during the term im gonna have a diagnostic paper on Luis from RE4#I might post it up here after the end of term cause I think that would be fun for people to pick at#anyway kind of a good day but also kind of a shit day but overall okay#burnout is still a bitch. I miss everyone on here I miss writing fictional stuff I'm feeling a lot today#magenta is my vent word
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( rambly post + rambly tags )
Ya know ... a fairly common complaint / critique I have seen thrown at the first osmt san movie is that it didn't show the 18matsus enough -- which i definitely agree to, to some extent -- but specifically complaints about kara being shown the least always baffles me a teeny bit.
I personally think it makes like. a LOT of sense if you think about where the movie's coming from -- the whole point of it is to show how much they used to suppress, but also, how much Karamatsu was talked over and ignored as a youth. I think his absence really nails home how little regard the others had spared for him at the time and how he often went forgotten and ignored ( and also plays into why, aside from red roses, forget me nots are his most common flower association ).
I would say it comes off as a more deliberate choice to feature him as little as possible because even the other brothers barely --or not at all -- remembered how Karamatsu was supposed to be back then. And yes, it's his memory world -- but doesn't that also emphasize the fact? The fact that he felt so isolated and forgotten from his siblings he's barely even present in the world made from HIM???? Like ... ouch, man. That shows you so much without telling you to your face, and makes a pretty good case for Karamatsu trying to suppress that aspect of himself and his personality more than anything; hard to find, hard to talk to, glossed over by all...
Then there was the lying to himself, and that only really made things worse for him in the future. Now he's more fascinatingly closed off than ever ... and only now does it seem like the brothers (at least as of the pizza skit) are realizing how little they do. I'm also of the camp that I believe his season 3 characterization makes a lot of sense post movie, though I know that's a pretty divisive opinion in the fanbase -- but whats clear to me is that he's very much about to burn out similar to ichimatsu's burn out, and he can't keep pretending he's fine and dandy forever.
#🍒 txt#unrelated rant but i don't feel like making its own post:#really hate when people say karamatsu is a narcissist because No The Fuck He Is Not#I see it in yt comments all the time and shit and it makes me mad#some people should really not be allowed to talk about narcissism at all until they actually understand what it means#then again the marketing also misuses and HAS been misusing the term narcissist to mean what people have reduced it down to#being “shallow and full of yourself”#that couldn't be the furthest case for karamatsu.#if anything i'd say he's more quiet bpd#and if anyone is a true narcissist / npd haver it'd 100 percent be totty#karamatsu's mask is very clearly that; just a mask. he doesnt actually have that actual self confidence#nor is he actually that full of himself or shallow#none of the criteria of narcissism fits him whatsoever#he has extremely low self esteem that he hides behind bravado because if he just ACTS cooler#itll make him cooler!#or so he thinks.#but people hate his mask juuuust as badly. if not worse than his true personality#karamatsu at heart is super meek introverted shy spineless and closed off#the way he pretends to act and is legit shown PRACTICING acting like this in s3?#i think it could not be ANY clearer tht he's NOT full of himself. he tries to hype himself up in a very similar way totty does for himself#does he do stuff to get praised and be seen as nicer than he is? yes#he is so desperate for even a shred of positive attention he'll do anything to get it. at least earlier on#bc of the way he was treated#but that doesn't make him a self serving narcissist or whatever#morally ambiguous perhaps. desperate for kindess? AAABSOLUTELY#i could rant about this all day lol
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To not bomb the assignment I’ve been blowing off for this entire semester, I’m drawing scenes from Malevolent because of course I’m so predictable.
#I hate sketchbook assignments#because I’m constantly sketching and drawing cause duh art school but none of it fits the criteria#but my professor said we can kinda do whatever so I am winning
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I can't stop thinking about the post I saw last night that said "fics with em dashes are probably AI generated cuz humans rarely use those" and like. I defended em dashes vehemently in the tags of that post. but em dashes aside, "anything with X is probably AI generated cuz humans rarely use/say that" is a terrible rubric. cuz AI is literally predictive text. it's basically just a really advanced version of that thing your phone does where it suggests what word you should use next. and it's trained on human-written content. and tries to mimic human-written text. so anything that humans rarely use or say is something that, by extension, AI would rarely use or say because if it wasn't common in its training data then it wouldn't be using it
#this is why 'AI detectors' keep failing btw#cuz any speech pattern that's common in AI text#exists because it's a regurgitation of whatever was common in its training data#so the training data has attributes that match the criteria for what the program deems as being likely AI#it's why that one AI detector. that was endorsed by chatgpt and used by teachers to screen students' essays#had such hilarious false positives as the US constitution and the bible
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Link up with my LOL
#calicoglows#visionary#sylphid#clumps#what is the criteria to tag the comic because sometimes i dont do it. i dont know. im so whatever.
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If I see one more person refer to OSDD as a whole as a generalization or synonym of OSDD-1B I'm going to snap the wooden bars of this cage in the enclosures of my mouth and crawl my way out of Hell to Find You.
#News flash! Did you know (near) every section of the DSM-V-TR has a “Otherwise Specified” section?#And that every Other Specified disorder is a form of general symptoms without enough basis or prognosis to become its own diagnosis?#Did No One teach these guys about OSDD-2 OSDD-3 and OSDD-4?#2 is identity disturbance w itense coercive persuasion#AKA mind control changes personalitt#3 is Acute dissociation to stressful events Which is dissociative episodes lasting typically less than a month#So instead of it being chronic theyre just dissociation to an extent where its less tham a month#Typically to one traumatic event and can last as short as a few hours#4 is Disoociative trance which is exactly what it sounds like#Youre in a complete loss of awareness and go into complete autopilot with profound unresponsiveness to stimuli#Hell even 1a is unknown#Where it's all the criteria of Dissociative Identity Disorder but without the formation of separate identity states#But rather seen sort of like “Different Parts” of 1 solitified identity#Can you tell I've been reading my favorite section of the clinical psych Bible (DSM-V-TR)#I just hate when people say everyone with OSDD is a system or whatever NO. THEYRE. NOT. BREAKS PENCIL.#ITS A WIDE RANGE OF SYMPTOMS AND CRITERIA BECAUSE THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT THEY ARE NOT ITS OWN DISORDER.#IM. GONNA. BREAK. SOMETHING. GRAAAAAH!!!
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It's 1AM now and I just realized I wore the 唯一 necklace with the palm trees dress I reserved for New Year's Eve—so, basically, a NuengPalm themed outfit 😆
#I did not mean to do that at all????#I only chose to wear Nueng's (silver) necklace because the dress was black and white 😅#the story of how I acquired this dress is also kinda funny#because I originally bought it for my grandma. but she did not like it.#she said that it was like it was made for >me< instead#at first I was sad because I really wanted her to like the gift I spent a long time picking to fit her very specific criteria#but THEIN it dawned on me I now had a dress with Palm trees in it!! PALM trees!!#and I instantly got very protective and possessive of it like it was an actual fandom-related special dress#//#thanks to FadelStyle I also wore dark makeup today#and a tiara#why the tiara?#well. I had bought it back on 2023 on a whim—but all this time I had never wore it.#there was no proper occasion. and also I was too afraid of what people would think.#a lower-class grown woman wearing a princess's tiara. how stupid.#but today���well‚ yesterday—I was feeling like I was running out of time#like this night was my last chance in this life to do what I really wanted to#so I decided to just say the hell with it! and wear whatever I felt like it#and you know what?#for a moment in my room I was the coolest rockstar princess in an old lady's dress in the whole world
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i absolutely cannot let myself get started on another fic until im at least onto chapter 5 of caecilian but the temptation to write something of aaravi taking miranda monster hunting and describing the entire EVERYTHING there is real
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#mostly in the duality that is#what aaravi actually does as a monster slayer and the context that it exists within both in her own life and within the world#and with the fact that miranda doesnt actually sincerely identify as a monster nor care about that divide#to her this is landfolk on landfolk problems that merfolk have absolutely no involvement in#she only gets labelled a monster by landfolk who care about this and using criteria that wasnt made with merfolk in mind#and goes with it because really shes trying to do her job and serve an ambassador role and Whatever#its the same as her picking a gender basically at random. there wasnt a none of the above option that was offered nor applied#to her aaravi is basically a mercenary and thus her feelings are the same as a mercenary#shes not meaningfully different than anyone miranda already knows through bellanda#and aaravi has. complicated feelings about it.#aaravi has complicated feelings about all of this#miranda occupies a role like aaravi herself where she fails to fit into either side of a duality#but aaravi also has a rising guilt about her involvement that she has to explain to miranda in the first place#and all of this parallels miranda's role as princess too#about how little aaravi knows about her atrocities and what shes done and what it MEANS for her to be what she is#as someone who was never subjected to it and has no context for how bad it really is#theyre very much two sides of the same coin tbh#very alike each other but in opposite contexts#which tbh is part of why they work so well#its the combination of understanding and support and yet just enough challenge to stop them from buckling down harder#theyre able to call each other out because they know personally exactly whats happening in the others mind#which is also why i dont like ships that just wholeheartedly encourage aaravis whole everything without understanding whats going on#the same as why i hate ships and endings that have the other person just joining miranda as royalty#like. no. no these are not neutral endings here. you do not get to absolve anyones involvement here.
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At least I'll probably get officially diagnosed as transsexual within a couple years from now. I hope.
#well technically i wouldnt hope taht because id really prefer if they remived the diagnostic criteria but whatever#i hate the finnish trans laws#killing someone#with EXTREMELY good luck i think its possible to get hrt before getting a diagnosis since doctors can prescribe you pretty much anything#but i doubt that ill get a doctor wholl do that
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i decided to give a k-bl series a chance -- i'm not a fan of k-dramas, and most bls i've watched were "yeah, it's nice" at best, so this is Big -- and my loves -- reader -- what did i get in return? what did the show give me in return for my enormous leap of faith? can you guess? hm?? hm???
second-hand embarrassment through the roof STRAIGHT between the eyes
#shrimp thoughts#I AM. SPEECHLESS#out of ALL THE DRAMAS THERE ARE i had to pick one with a 'oh you dropped this' situation in which the 'this' is a silicone dick#by the way this is not the first 'oh you dropped this' situation in this episode. i'm not even 7 minutes in#(and every time the 'dropped' object is just... tossed in from outside the shot in the MOST blatant way. and of course every time the#character dropping it wasn't even holding it at the moment so i guess people's stuff just randomly hops out of their bags/boxes/whatever)#the main character also goes 'am i going to be alright like this...' in his thoughts two times as well#i'm only watching this because ace did a song for this drama and the synopsis didn't sound mind-numbingly stupid#but like. i guess when it comes to bl dramas a lot depends on how much you're willing to embrace the Convention™#and i... like not having to skip or remind myself of the Convention as i watch the /first/ episode. not every show has to be intellectually#stimulating and a masterpiece of its genre obviously but when i do give something a chance i like to know i made the right choice#alas. double alas because my criteria are extremely picky and stupid namely 'a kdrama that's unlike a kdrama' (swap the k for t or j#if you want to) and 'a bl drama that's unlike a bl drama' (aka not tropey to all hell) and also 'not boring' if it's possible#so perhaps i should just give up orz
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theres something uniquely annoying about paying thousands of dollars to go to school and take classes to learn a valuable skillset that can help you in your desired field of work. and it feels like everything weve done so far is just copying other peoples work
#lycan howls#this is mostly still abt my modeling class bc the last project and this new one i just got#have been like “find a model on artstation following X criteria and then model it yourself detail for detail”#as if i can even feel semi decent about putting that kind of shit in my portfolio because its just someone elses work with my name on it#and kt makes me feel like shit#i dont want to be a modeler so at least let me do something i want to do ffs#also abt my programming class that i like usually. it feels like were more just copying whatever the prof does#instead of actually Learning the tools so we can go on to do our own stuff later#i know its an intro class but. augh
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Every time I see posts about what OCD is really like I look away cuz I got enough shit going on
#it’s just autism I swear#nothing else#I’m sick of fitting criteria for disorders I just wanna live bro#btw read this as me being in denial or whatever#I love ppl with ocd and I respect them like I do anyone else with stigmatized disorders#I just am overwhelmed by my own problems#and while I am aware that accepting it and working on it will make my life easier#I feel like I have too many disorders already and it’s embarrassing if I realize I have another one#so for now I’ll blame it all on my autism#we’ll see how long it takes for me to actually do more research on OCD#because some of y’all say shit that is too accurate and true to how I live and think#and boy oh boy do I not want to deal with this rn
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