#because there is no plausible explanation for this behaviour

[elijasz]

"Well, if I don't answer your email, you should message me again."

What if I just come to your house instead? What if I put holes in all of your socks? Will that teach you to not push away any responsibility you have as a teacher for your students? I'm a teacher myself. I know wtf I'm talking about and I hope you hit the curb when you get new rims because by the gods you deserve it.

"I get so many emails"

Yeah? Guess what bitch, me too. But your JOB is to answer my fucking emails. Thats what you get paid to do.

"I'm too stressed."

Me too, bitch! I literally have panic attacks, checking my emails. Because I'm constantly worried YOU will give me shit. Because you decide about my future. You are already working in your field!? What tf are you scared of? Getting fired? Get a different job, dumbass.

I hate academics so much. And just emails. I am going to set up an auto-reply that just states "I receive too many emails every day, thus will no longer be answering any of them unless you put URGENT in the title of your mail. Thank you, have a nice day."

[frenchie-simone]

Physicality

Logan Howlett x fem!mutant!reader

word count: 2.8k

tags/warnings: SMUT 18+, reader is some kind of wolf/dog-ish mutant but no tail/ears described, reader has hair, reader is in heat, unprotected piv, creampie, logan has a pain kink (duh)

a/n: y’all i wrote this because i sometimes do feel like a bitch in heat, so this is self-indulgent as it always is. a tiny bit rushed so it’s not the best but i think it’s alright. if i forgot tags or warnings lmk!!

Today marks the day that you've officially been a part of the X-Men for six months. Your first mission feels like an eternity ago, perhaps because you're so busy every day, no day quite like the previous one. Being an X-Man means two things to you: dangerous missions and physics classes.

Oh, and of course, the massive crush you have on Logan. He doesn't know, how could he, when you cover up your feelings with snarky comments and distant behaviour? Logan doesn’t question why your anger seems to be directed at him the most, he just thinks you hate him more than you hate the average person. It’s partly true, you hate him for the way he makes you feel. More than that, you hate the fact that it's a full moon tonight.

It's after school hours, and you're preparing yourself for spending the night in the forest. You grade the physics homework, take a shower, change to more comfortable clothes and eventually sneak out of your room, trying to avoid anyone asking questions. It’s evening and the sun is setting early, so you decide it safer to leave the mansion now, just in case.

You greet students downstairs, and thankfully no one decides to chat more than that. You make it out to the courtyard without anyone interrupting you. You hop the fence and head towards the entrance to the forest, but your heightened senses pick up a familiar musky smell. You stop in your tracks and mutter a “fuck” under your breath before turning around. To no one’s surprise, you find Logan trying to follow you. He widens his eyes, but quickly regains his composure, his usual smirk creeping on his face. His gorgeous face…

“Were you following me?” you ask and cross your arms, glaring at Logan. He huffs a laugh and props a hand on his hip.

“Yeah. Was curious as to where you're sneaking out on a Tuesday” he says casually and raises an expectant brow, waiting for an explanation. You clench your jaw and look away, trying to figure out a plausible excuse.

“It’s a full moon tonight. I just wanted to watch the sky. In peace” you emphasize the last word. It’s getting darker by the second, and the minute the sun leaves the horizon, it's too late. Logan can't be near you tonight. You already feel the heat simmering on your skin despite the cool breeze.

Logan scrunches his eyebrows and looks at you, unconvinced. And yet, he only exhales and nods. “Alright, sweetheart. Just try not to get mauled by wolves, will ya?” he says with a smirk. If only he knew you were the wolf to look out for. You roll your eyes at him and mutter some curses under your breath before turning around and walking deeper into the woods.

It’s midnight and the sun has set. You're located deep in the forest, far from other people. The heat is getting to you now. Your muscles are twitching, your core is aching and it feels like your blood is boiling. You sit down and lean against a tree trunk, not caring about the dirt ruining your clothes, panting and trying to calm yourself down. You know that pleasuring yourself won't fix it, but it'll at least bring temporary relief. You slide your hand down your pants and under your panties and start massaging your clit. Pictures of Logan pop into your mind; images of him shirtless, sweaty, just after a workout… you can't help but imagine what he would look like on top of you. Or under. Or from the side.

“Logan…” you can't help but moan his name at the thought. Even imagining him is bringing you close to finishing. You move your fingers from your bud and curl them inside you, inside your already soaking pussy, and press your palm down on your bundle of nerves. You add another finger and start pumping slowly at first, but you lose your cool almost immediately. Your pace quickly becomes fast and hard, and with Logan's face and body plastered on the wall of your mind, you release on your fingers in record time. You mutter a "fuck" at how quickly you came because the ache comes back almost as fast as you finished. You lean your head against the tree and groan in annoyance, before bringing your fingers into your mouth to clean them. It hurts so much, it throbs and aches, so you bury your head in your knees and try to distract yourself from the pain that you can't fix yourself. You try to think about your next physics lesson, upcoming missions, and what you'll do on the weekend... and for a while, it works. Until you hear a twig crack and snap your head towards the sound.

You'd been so lost in your thoughts that you hadn't smelled Logan approaching. Now he's appearing through the trees, searching for you. And that musky, earthy scent of him is even stronger to you in your current state, and your nose twitches involuntarily. He sees you crouched on the ground, dishevelled and seemingly exhausted, and he quickly rushes to you. Worry etches his face as he kneels before you and places a hand on your knee. "Sweetheart, what happened? Are you alright?" he asks, searching your body for cuts or bruises. You swallow and look down at his large hand touching you.

"I'm fine, but you really shouldn't be here" you try to tell him, your voice shaky. He furrows his brows and gently strokes your knee, the worry still there. "Don't lie to me, Wolves. What's up?" he pushes, not listening to your dismissals anymore. You lightly shudder under his touch and your breath quickens. You try to calm yourself, but it's no use. "Logan, I'm serious. This is something I gotta deal with alone" you manage to say between shallow breaths. His hand stops stroking and slightly tightens its grip on you. "I'm not leaving 'til you tell me what's going on" he says with a stern voice. You can tell he means it. You swallow your pride and just decide to give him the truth.

"I'm in heat. You know, like an animal…" you mutter and look down, embarrassed to admit it. When he doesn't answer you, you carefully glance up. His eyes have gone wide and you hear him take a shaky breath. Oh fuck, did you make him uncomfortable? You turn your head to the side to avoid his face and you feel shame creeping on your cheeks.

"Hey, it's okay... I was just taken by surprise, I had no idea..." he explains after seeing you turn your head away. You turn your gaze towards him again, and he doesn't appear disgusted or uncomfortable, just a little... nervous. Logan takes a deep breath before speaking again: "Do you..." he clears his throat, "want me to help you?"

Your mouth falls agape at his words and your eyes widen. He can't mean what you think he is, right?

"How?" you ask him, eyes still blown wide. He rubs the back of his neck, unsure how to phrase it. "You know... take care of you," he says and looks at you, anxiously waiting for your reaction. You didn't think he'd actually suggest it, but now that he did, your body goes hot all over. You try to play cool even as you hear your heartbeat in your ears. "I couldn't possibly make you do that, Logan. It doesn't feel right" you answer with your remaining sensibility, but your urges and instincts strongly disagree. You look down at your knees, trying to hide the pleading in your eyes. Logan only scooches closer to you and takes your chin in his hand and tilts your head towards him.

"You're not making me, Wolves. I want to help you, wanna make you feel good. C'mon, let me take care of you" he assures you and holds eye contact, wanting to show you he means it. His words, his closeness, his tenderness... it's too much to refuse. You can't control your urges anymore.

You bite down on your lip to keep in any pathetic whines, but the way he looks at you is like an invitation to pounce on him. Before you can register what you're doing, you're pressing your lips to his. You only get a taste before you realize what you're doing and quickly pull away. "Shit. I'm sorry" you mutter and move away. You see his jaw clench, and you think you’ve upset him. The thought makes your heart drop.

Until he grabs your neck and smashes his lips on yours. You whimper at the sudden movement, but you quickly kiss him back. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. He groans against your mouth, before his tongue runs along your lower lip, asking for permission to enter. You part your lips instinctively and he doesn't waste a second shoving his tongue in your mouth. Your own tongue quickly joins in, until you're both devouring each other with such passion and hunger that it makes your head spin and core overheat. Logan sits down on the ground without parting his lips from yours and pulls you down with him, and you adjust your thighs to straddle him.

Neither Logan nor you thought this was how your first time would go, but neither of you could foresee this. All your sensibility, rationality and critical thinking were thrown out the window, and all you can think about is his large, muscular, perfect body under yours. In the heat of the moment, you start subconsciously grinding your core against his already stonehard length. His hands fly on your hips to guide you, and he groans against your mouth at the friction. You pull away only to catch your breath, still rocking against him, and your hands go to lace themselves in his brown hair. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, panting against his skin, but the need for more becomes too strong.

“Please, Logan… I need you inside me” you practically whine, teeth sinking into his neck in an attempt to muffle your pathetic whines and mewls. Logan groans at the sting of your teeth in his neck, and if you’d see his face, you’d notice his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

“Mmh, you’ll get what you need, sweet girl. I’ll take good care of you” Logan coos into your ear, lifting you up and placing you to lie back on the ground. He’d like to take his time, draw out your pleasure, but Logan can sense the urgency of your situation. You start quickly unbuttoning your pants, needing to get him inside before the painful throbbing of your pussy becomes too much to bear. Logan complies, starting to unbuckle his belt, although he’d very much like to see you naked, to see that skin he’s been dreaming about ever since he laid eyes on you. Another time, he thinks to himself.

You pull your pants off hastily, while your eyes are fixed on Logan’s bulge still hidden beneath the fabric. When you’re in just your panties, you start helping him, or at least you try to, but you’re just fumbling with the zipper because of the hurry you’re in. Logan can’t help but smirk to himself, but he makes no comment, knowing you’re more than just desperate. He pulls down his jeans along with his boxers, freeing has impressive and extremely hard length, the tip already leaking pre-cum. Your eyes widen at the sight, and you feel your walls clench around nothing. You’d like nothing more than to run your tongue over his prominent vein, or take his cock down your throat. That’ll have to wait for another time.

You pull Logan closer by hooking your legs around his waist, and he falls forward with a grunt, but quickly steadies himself on his forearms. You don’t even take off your drenched panties, you just pull them to the side, waiting for him to give you exactly what you want and need.

“You sure you want this, darlin’?” Logan asks you, giving you one more chance to change your name. You quickly nod your head, grabbing ahold of his dick and guiding it to your entrance.

“Words, baby” Logan tsks at you, wanting verbal confirmation. You mentally groan, feeling like if you opened your mouth you won’t be able to shut it. “Yes, fuck, I want it. Need you” you pathetically beg, still trying to pull him closer.

Logan straight up growls as he finally caves, despite that nagging feeling in the back of his head telling him this is wrong. That he’s taking advantage of a poor bitch in heat. He quickly realises the guilt is not enough to stop him. In one hard thrust, Logan sheathes himself inside you, and you gasp at the sudden but very welcome intrusion. He’s already panting heavily, trying to take it slow, as to not hurt you. Too bad you’re not having it.

“Please move, Logan…” you whine, trying to rock into his shaft. Logan’s large palm quickly moves to pin your hip down, and before you can protest, he pulls out almost all the way, before slamming into you. You cry out in pleasure, your hands flying up to claw at his shoulders. Logan buries his face in your neck, as he repeats the motions, going slow but incredibly deep inside you, you can feel him in your tummy. Your walls are squeezing him so tight, he can’t help but groan, trying to muffle his noises against your skin. He moves his arms to wrap underneath you as he now picks up his pace, unable to go slow when it comes to you. You moan at the increased speed, your sharp nails scratching down his arms, and to your surprise, he lets out a moan at the sting.

“Fuck, baby… gonna come before you if you keep that up” Logan grunts, but makes no effort to slow down. You start trying to meet his thrusts with your hips, but Logan is not having it. He holds you tighter, fucking you down on his cock. He frees one hand from underneath you, moving it between your bodies to rapidly draw circles your swollen clit. You whine at the added sensation, your back arching off the ground.

“I’m gonna- fuck!” you cry out, unable to finish your sentence as your orgasm suddenly crashes down on you with a brutal force. Your nerve endings are lit on fire, but in the best way, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as you’re struggling to stay grounded. Logan holds you through it, just whispering sweet nothings to you:

“That’s it, baby. I’ve gotcha.”

“Did so good for me…”

Logan helps brings you down from the high, and for the first time in days, that seemingly insatiable hunger that had been residing in the pit of your stomach is gone. But not for long.

“Logan, I want you to cum in me, please…” you whine, your weak thighs shaking as you try to pin him to your pussy. Logan groans, knowing he really shouldn’t. It’s reckless, irresponsible, but how can he refuse you when you’re being so pathetic and needy for him to fill you up?

Logan lifts you up from the ground with effortlessly, making you straddle his thighs. He holds you down on his cock as he starts thrusting up into you, now just chasing his own release. You whimper as he pierces you on his dick, but you take it, more than willingly. It doesn’t take long, until he’s coming with a strained groan, holding you down on him, his grip so tight it’ll bruise. You feel his warm spend coat your inner walls, filling you up to the brim as he pumps himself empty. You let out an almost obscene moan as you cum on his cock again, the remnants or your previous orgasm not having faded.

“Fuck, Wolves… I shouldn’t have done that” Logan murmurs into your ear but with a slight grin betraying his words, and you can only giggle in response. There was no regret in either of you, you’ll worry about plan B tomorrow. If you remember…

You sit on his lap for a few moments, letting him catch his breath. For only a split second, you’re aware of the fact that you’re in the middle of a forest, both of your clothes covered in dirt, and you’re pretty sure you feel a leaf in your hair. When you feel him soften in you, you look up from his neck, admiring his face for a second. Your lips curl into a small smile.

“You didn’t think we were done, did you?”

[communistkenobi]

I watched that jack saint video the other day about why the jeffrey dahmer netflix show shouldn’t exist and it reminded me of how revolting “serial killer discourse” is. like all these psychiatric justifications and obsessions with finding some essential hidden evil in these people, these true crime obsessions with profiling the villains among us as if that is an actual real societal personality type. listening to those kinds of explanations is like taking in negative information, it deletes knowledge from your brain. because like idk isn’t it just more plausible that some people internalise and then act out the overwhelmingly dehumanising & exterminationist societal narratives about black people, gay & trans people, indigenous people, sex workers, women, and all the intersections therein, all the groups normally victimised by serial killers? the explanation that these are popular victims groups for serial killers bc they are more vulnerable/less likely to be investigated by police seems like backwards logic to me on some level and feeds into the like “master mind” shit people use to describe serial killers. like idk im not an expert on hate crime or serial murder but to rely on personality disorders/mental illness as an explanation for this type of violent behaviour instead of patriarchy and white supremacy seems flagrantly unethical and reactionary

[dixons-sunshine]

What’s Your Name? | Daryl Dixon

A/N: Just a small fic to officially introduce my OC! I hope y’all like her.

“I wouldn’t choose that one if I were you.”

Daryl jumped slightly at the sound of a woman’s voice that filled the air. He whipped around and came face-to-face with the woman that had helped Merle when he had sustained an injury a while ago. The same woman that had smiled at him so warmly back then. The same woman he had found himself searching out whenever he was in camp.

Her beautiful brown eyes locked with his blue ones, a small smile on her face as she regarded the wide-eyed, startled look on Daryl’s face. “Sorry,” she apologized lightheartedly, taking a few steps towards the frazzled archer. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“S’alright,” Daryl mumbled, his eyes ducking to the ground below as he willed his heart to slow down from the fright he had. The woman’s light laughter filled the air after a few moments. His eyes flickered over to her questioningly, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What? What’s so funny?”

The woman shook her head. “Nothing. I’m just a little surprised, is all.”

“Surprised?” Daryl inquired confusedly, his frown deepening. “Why?” Why was he asking? Why did he care? He had a job to do, goddammit. His brother was still handcuffed on that roof and he needed to save him. He had way more important matters at hand. Why did he want to continue conversing with this woman?

“Because you’re actually talking to me,” she responded, crossing her arms over her chest. “When I tried to talk to you two days ago, you practically bolted for the woods. I figured you would’ve run for the hills by now.”

“I dun’ run,” Daryl scoffed, his tone defensive. He mirrored her stance, his arms crossing over his chest. “I jus’... I had somethin’a do, s’all.”

“In the woods? At night?” she asked, her eyebrows raising questioningly. “You do know that the geeks could be roaming around, right? What was so important to risk your life for?”

Daryl’s mind raced as he tried to think of a plausible explanation for his behaviour two nights prior. Then, as if being hit by a sudden revelation, Daryl scoffed and shook his head. He did not owe this woman an explanation. He did not even know this woman’s name, for christ’s sake. She did not have the right to poke her nose in his business.

“Ain’t none’a yer damn business, woman,” Daryl replied sharply, his tone defiant and final. Remembering her mentioning something about the weapon he had been inspecting a few moments prior, he opted to shift the subject. “What the hell were ya on ‘bout this?” he inquired in a gruff voice, motioning over to the gun on the wooden log in front of him.

The woman’s gaze lingered on his face for a few seconds longer, her brown, chocolate eyes squinting as she attempted to figure out what whirred around in the brooding archer’s mind, before flickering over to the weapon in front of her. “That’s the gun I brought with me from the city when I first stumbled across the camp. It has a mind of its own. It only works when it feels up to it. Not exactly the weapon you’d wanna take out in the city where all the spooky things live.”

“Spooky things?” Daryl echoed, his tone holding a tinge of amusement at her rather childlike assessment of the dangers that lurked in the dark corners of the dangerous world they were all being forced to live in. “Like what?”

“Oh, just the usual. Snakes, spiders,” she began listing off, “and now walkers as well. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if you ran into a vampire or a werewolf out there.”

Daryl rolled his eyes at her dramatics, though he had to fight of the faint smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. “I’ll take my chances,” Daryl said in response. “‘Sides, it ain’t exactly like I have much of a choice.” For added emphasis, he motioned over to the otherwise empty bag, the other weapons having been evenly distributed between Rick, Glenn and T-Dog.

The woman nodded and took a few steps back, her hands being shoved into the pockets of her work-worn jeans. “Alright, then. Just figured I’d warn you.”

“Thanks,” Daryl muttered, fully expecting the woman to leave. However, when she didn’t, his eyes locked with hers questioningly. “There somethin’ else ya wanna say?”

“Ask, actually,” she replied nonchalantly, not even bothered by the archer’s rather cold tone. “What’s your name?”

Daryl’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why’s that important?”

“Well, we just had a lovely discussion. Giving your name would be the good mannered thing to do.”

She had a point there. Begrudgingly, Daryl conceded to her request. “Daryl,” he said gruffly. “My name’s Daryl.”

The woman smiled at him. “Yeah, I know your name. I just wanted to hear you say it. But it’s nice to officially meet you, Daryl.” She looked to the right for a moment, before shifting her attention back to the man that stood before her. “Well, I’ll leave you to it, then. I hope you find your brother okay.” With that, she turned around and stalked towards the opening.

Daryl frowned slightly at her retreating figure. Unwillingly, he called out to her, stopping her in her dead in her tracks. “Ya ain’t gon’ give me yer name? Thought it was considered the good mannered thing to do when exchangin’ names with a stranger. How m’I s’posed to know who to give this back to?”

“You could always just ask Glenn what my name is. Or Shane or Lori or somebody,” the woman replied, her back still turned to him.

Daryl scoffed. “Yeah, but I dun’ wanna do that. I wanna hear it from ya.”

The woman stopped, turned around to look at Daryl, and sent him a small smile. “Georgianna,” she told him after a few beats of silence. “But just about everyone calls me Georgie. It’s your pick, really. I respond to either.” With that, the woman—Georgianna—turned back around and finally left the Dixon brothers’ campsite, leaving Daryl alone with his own racing thoughts.

Taglist: @holdmytesseract @thevegandarkelf (comment to be added/removed)

[fannedandflawless]

Magical Transport & Terrain: The Things That Should Not Be

We need to talk about the sprawling, perilous wilderness bordering the castle—a forest so infamous it's literally called Forbidden. And yet, it somehow doubles as the school's preferred disciplinary playground.

🌲 The Forbidden Forest: Hogwarts’ Most Reckless Detention Policy

Let’s start with the name—“Forbidden”—and immediately ask: why is it directly accessible from the castle lawn?

Students are sent into the Forbidden Forest for detention. As a punishment. At the age of eleven. Often unsupervised, or led by Hagrid and Fang, which is about as secure as a wet parchment barrier.

Inside the forest:

Acromantulas (giant, human-eating spiders)

Centaurs, who are hostile to interference

Dragons, yes—dragons—were temporarily kept in the Forbidden Forest during the Triwizard Tournament. Massive, fire-breathing beasts were contained in cages just a short walk from the school lawn. Because what’s a magical academic event without catastrophic risk?

Werewolves, presumed to roam freely

Unicorns, one of which was canonically murdered by Voldemort

Thestrals, only visible to students who have witnessed death (trauma not optional)

Grawp, Hagrid’s younger giant brother, who resides in the forest despite having questionable impulse control

Likely numerous other magical creatures that Hagrid may or may not have introduced, fed, or "accidentally adopted"—and unlike Newt Scamander, who kept his creatures contained in a magically expanded, structured habitat with clear care protocols and protections, Hagrid’s version is more free-range chaos than regulated sanctuary

Let’s also remember that Hagrid at one point had an entire menagerie of magical creatures spilling across the grounds—more than one Hippogriff, numerous blast-ended skrewts, and various questionable acquisitions. Most of these creatures were never seen again in later books, with no explanation of what happened to them. And based on Hagrid’s behaviour—like releasing Aragog into the forest—it’s entirely plausible he simply let them loose into the wilds. It was less a Care of Magical Creatures class and more a barely-contained magical farm leaking into the tree line.

And not to be forgotten—poisonous or aggressive magical plants, some of which may be semi-sentient or carnivorous.

"You’ve broken curfew. Into the forest, child."

Now, not to be dramatic—but while certain professors handed out forest detentions like candy with a death wish, Professor Severus Snape absolutely did not. Not even once. Not even close.

Let’s be abundantly clear: Professor Severus Snape—strict, moody, terrifying in seventeen languages—never sent a single student into the Forbidden Forest for detention. Ever.

Unlike certain other staff members (yes, Minerva, we're looking at you), who thought a late-night stroll into a lethal magical forest was character-building—Snape kept his detentions strictly within castle bounds. Preferably underground. Preferably involving caustic liquids.

When Snape dished out detention, it usually meant:

Touching something slimy and regrettable in a dungeon

Writing long, soul-draining essays on why magical mishaps are Not Funny

Cleaning cauldrons that may or may not have sentient residue

Being glared at for one solid hour while sorting flobberworms by viscosity

Not once—not once—did he say: "Ah, yes. You've misbehaved. Into the murder-forest with you."

Because here’s the truth: Snape liked control. He was not about to outsource his revenge to a tree. Or worse, to Hagrid.

Even at his pettiest, Snape was precise. He didn’t endanger students for the drama. He inflicted guilt, not injury. He curated humiliation like a one-man art gallery.

So no—he didn’t hand students over to the forest and hope they'd stumble into Merlin-knows-what just to prove a point.

And that, ironically, makes him—tragically—one of the more responsible adults at Hogwarts.

And just to remind you how completely unhinged this system truly is... Let’s return to Exhibit A: sending first-years into the murder-forest after curfew. With lanterns. And Hagrid. And Fang (aesthetic, not effective).

Because naturally, if you’ve broken school rules, the best response is to drop you into a magical wilderness filled with centaurs, werewolves, and man-eating spiders. Hogwarts once sent Harry and Draco—both first-years—into it after dusk for detention. With a lantern. And Hagrid. And Fang (who, clearly, is unhelpful). That’s it.

And somehow, no one has launched a formal complaint—or inspected this forest’s wildly unsupervised population. The decision remains one of the most absurd examples of Hogwarts’ disciplinary logic.

🐴 Thestral Carriages: Silent Flight, Zero Safety

Let’s now take a ride—literally—on the invisible Thestral-drawn carriages used to ferry students to and from the train station.

Key issues:

The Thestrals are invisible to most students, which means first-years (and many others) believe they’re being transported by driverless, levitating carriages.

There are no seatbelts, no guards, no harnesses, and no barriers on the sides.

The terrain is rocky and forested, often damp, and the carriages are pulled by skeletal death-horses with wings.

No brief safety explanation. No magical tether. Just vibes.

“Hop on, children. Ignore the potential 30-foot drop.”

And if that wasn’t enough:

The carriages navigate through fog, darkness, and rain, without lights or magical beacons.

No mention of spell cushions, protective enchantments, or even a simple "Hold on."

🧠 Lingering Logic:

The same school that won’t let students enter the kitchens without a password has no problem launching them into the night in invisible, unguided carriages through a monster-filled forest.

Welcome to Hogwarts. Sign this waiver in blood.

⸻

Related Posts:

Hogwarts Security Issues: The Safest Place? Really?

Sirius Black Vs The Wards: Why Death Eaters Weren’t Invited To Tea

[maxdibert]

Your analysises on Snape's behaviour are very inspiring to read, thank you for putting up the time and effort to build such detailed and well-written arguments! Snape is a very complex and traumatised character, and you tirelessly remind all of us of that.

Well, it really bothers me when certain things are trivialized, even in fiction, because people’s opinions are often influenced by social prejudices they’re not even aware of. This leads to certain traumas being minimized or behaviors being vilified, even when those behaviors have explanations that are not only plausible but also quite deterministic in terms of psychological development. That said, I also have a soft spot for complex characters that everyone hates because, well, I’m a sucker for lost causes—what can I say?

Thank you so much for your kind words. Sending you a big hug, take care! <3

[ranahan]

Also! What do you think is the rules around epenthetic vowels in mando'a? We have a bit different epenthetic vowels showing up between kom(o)r(o)k, kar(o)ta, but aay(e)han, dush(i)shya...

I think the basic rule of epenthetic sounds is to make words conform to Mando’a syllable structure and phonotactics. It seems to me that Mando’a more often elides sounds if e.g. joining two morphemes would result in a prohibited consonant cluster. That’s the more common strategy. Sometimes (more rarely) though there are extra sounds that (imo) are easiest to explain as epenthetic sounds—i.e. they’re there because of phonetics, not because they carry meaning.

Mando’a phonotactics

As far as I can tell, Mando’a has pretty easy phonotactics. The syllable structure is (C)(C)(C)V(C)(C) and the allowed consonant clusters are:

Onset:

Pr, where P = voiceless or voiced stop /p b t d k g/: pr, br, tr, dr, kr, gr

SPR, where S = /s/, P = voiceless stop /p t k/, R = /r l/: sp, st, sk, str, skr, sl, kl

That is, it’s the Indo-European SPR (sibilant + stop + /r l/) type, but the allowed set is a bit smaller than in e.g. English.

n.b.

I interpret ⟨ts⟩ as an affricate /t͜s/, i.e. it’s a phoneme not a cluster. That way I don’t have to explain why ks, ps, etc. aren’t allowed.

ty, cy, shy, ny, ky which I interpret as palatalisations tʲ, sʲ (=ʃ), ʃʲ (=ɕ), nʲ, kʲ

dh, mh, gh which I interpret as palatalisations /dʲ mʲ ɡʲ/, possibly realised as [dʰ mʰ ɡʰ] or [d m g].

Palatalisations are discussed previously here.

Coda:

st

rd, rʃ

ht, hn

I’m not really counting kom’rk and shebs, as they are anomalous in several ways. Shebs seems to be actually a loan from chebs; in-universe the extra -s could be explained as influence from Basic, so that sheb is the dictionary form and shebs is a dialectal/slang form. Kom’rk is given an unproblematic pronunciation

Clusters in the coda aren’t terribly common overall, and the ht, hn only appear in one word each (gaht + ka’gaht which appears to be a compound of gaht & ehn). Note that the coda clusters are kind of a reduced set of the mirror images of the onsets, which is expected.

Across the syllable border, most combinations are allowed as long as at least one of them is some kind of a continuant. Stop-stop combinations are uncommon.

There are few restrictions on single consonants, but

vh seems to appear only syllable-initially, same with the semivowels w and j; j seems to get realised as [i] in that position (I analyse y between two vowels [j] as the onset of the next syllable)

ng only appears syllable-finally

The planet Ceravh is a possible exception, which could be Mando’a or a (nativized) loanword, as we’ve discussed previously.

Diphthongs are ay (also spelled ai), ey, iy, uy, oy, and au. Other vowel-vowel combinations are allowed, but belong to different syllables. I’m very tempted to spell au as aw in this context, since Traviss notes that there’s an “almost v” sound in e.g. ba’vodu’e. So in the Vy type diphthongs, the y is [i] before consonants or word-finally and [j] before vowels, which is a very common behaviour. The corresponding behaviour would be for e.g. au to be [au] before consonants and word-finally and [aw] (or maybe [aʋ]) before vowels, which would also be a very common behaviour. So I’m tempted to interpret e.g. nau’ur as [na.ʋʊɾ] rather than [naʊ̯.ʔʊɾ]. But perhaps both realisations exist in different dialects.

Other interpretations are possible. This is what I consider overall the simplest and with least exceptions.

Edit: This was my draft on phonotactics I wrote a while back, seeing it again now I might make some edits.

Epenthetic sounds

So back to the question. The data is what it is, so I’m making egregious generalisations from way too little data as always. Like we’ve discussed previously, this is the nature of trying to infer rules from a corpus of ~1k words. In some cases there are two (or more) equally plausible explanations, so it can be hard to say whether a sound is epenthetic or some affix or maybe a part of a longer word that’s gotten whittled down to fit in a compound. With the data we have, it’s impossible to say whether it’s synchronic epenthesis or diachronic sound loss (and maybe an archaic pronunciation that still hangs around in some dialects); it could be either.

komorok and karota—I think these might be easier to explain the other way around, i.e. they have lost sounds. Imo that mrk cluster in kom’rk is really odd compared to the rest of Mando’a; rk I might excuse by comparing it with rd. But mrk? That bad boy needs at least one extra vowel. Karota > kar’ta is not the only word that (imo) seems to have shortened or lost a syllable in that position. It was probably an unstressed one. Nvm, Traviss gives the pronunciation as “kah-ROH-ta,” which is very weird: why drop the stressed syllable. Why. Kar’ta isn’t even problematic phonotactics wise. Or it could be an epenthesis.

dushishya—I don’t know why Traviss didn’t make this dushya; it’s right there. Mando’a elides identical sounds left and right and even chaaj+shya is chaa’shya. I’ve chosen to elide the final consonant in words ending in a sibilant before -shya instead, but if you want to keep both sh’s, then the epenthetic vowel is there so it’s possible to pronounce them as separate sounds instead of smushing them together.

aayihan—I like to think aay is the same *ay- as in e.g. uj’ayl. It might mean something like ‘sweet.’ I don’t know why it’s gotten a long vowel, but if I were to reconstruct a history for this word, I’d say aay’han used to be a longer compound or perhaps a phrase that’s gotten shortened over time. I think ‘han is a contracted form of haran; it wouldn’t be hard to imagine aay might’ve originally been a longer word too. But yeah, the extra vowel is there because you have that voiced /j/ and voiceless /h/, try to make them a cluster and it doesn’t really work. And there are two syllables because the aa is a long sound: seems to me the nucleus can be a short vowel, long vowel, or a diphthong—additional vowels belong to separate syllables. So aay’han would be aa-y-han. I guess it could be pronounced as aa-i-han as well, but if you want to realise that y as [j], then it needs a vowel because /j/ is not allowed as a coda.

The epenthetic vowel is in dushishya and aayihan likely because sh and y are palatal sounds. I doubt there are rules as such to what the epenthetic vowel should be, they’re probably entirely dependent on the surrounding phonemes—pick whatever is easiest to say depending on the other sounds in the word.

buurenaar—I found it easiest to reconstruct the verb ‘to storm’ as *buurenir, and then the noun buurenaar just has a swapped suffix. But it could also be *bur + nar or *burunar plus sound symbolism which turns the vowels long like wind.

ast’ehut—e could be the -ness prefix (ast-ehut) or an epenthetic vowel.

Coruscant > Coruscanta. Mando’a doesn’t do -nt codas, so this is an easy explanation: epenthetic vowel to keep the original sounds and make them conform to Mando’a phonotactics. You could argue that entye is ent-ye and has -nt coda; I however think it’s en-tye and the ty represents a palatalised consonant tʲ.

In the case of the -ii suffix, I think we could say it inserts an epenthetic vowel if the suffix appears after a vowel in the stem, and in both cases (aru’e > aruetii, kando > kandosii) that vowel is alveolar, probably because the high front vowel /i/ in the suffix so it’s easiest to insert some front-ish consonant as well. Which alveolar consonant? Probably just “feels”—whatever is easiest to say.

The variation in conjunctions and prefixes depending on the following word (e.g. a/al, sha/shal, ge/get, etc) is possibly a related phenomenon. But again, impossible to say because we don’t know where these words developed from.

These are what comes to mind, if there are more words that appear to have something extra, feel free to add them below and I can take a stab at them.

tl;dr: Epenthetic sounds are inserted to make pronunciation easier; what counts as “easier” is defined by the phonotactics of the particular language. Describing epenthesis as only “correcting phonotactics to what’s allowed” is probably bad or at least incomplete description of the process, so while e.g. kar’ta is not problematic, karota might still be an epenthesis.

This is also applicable to the loanword discussion, btw—loanwords can be subject to native phonotactic restrictions as well. I’ll get back to that later!

[eye-of-yelough]

anyway here’s the aeryn/gortash dynamic explanation.

nsfw shit under the cut. CW for. i mean so much. but specifically CNC

because it is all consensual, despite the atrocities. although it’s worth mentioning that that does not make it healthy and there’s definitely a lot of manipulation going on so like. is it. its dubious that’s for fucking sure.

So. their dynamic is really just me taking “psychosexual warfare” and seeing how far i can possibly take it. That’s it in a nutshell. also exploration of how a sexual “relationship” between a hypersexual (aeryn) and aroace (gortash. to me) would work.

Aeryn’s hypersexuality is a real point of interest to Gortash, and is his main angle when trying to pick apart his psyche, the way his behaviour changes depending on how long he’s gone without, how it seems intrinsically linked to his Urges, “whoever decided to call it bloodlust was a fucking genius” - Aeryn, probably.

That fascination really hits its pique when, somewhere a between 2 and 3 years into their unsteady partnership, gort wakes up in the middle of the night to aeryn just straight up jerkin it. staring at him. (wether he was already there because aeryn stayed over after them being awake for 50 hours plotting and doing medical malpractice or he just walked all the way there from the undercity to break in and wack it to gort’s sleeping body, i don’t know. but it’s important to me that you know that with aeryn, while the former is more likely, the latter is entirely plausible. he’s a creep.) obviously this brings up a lot of question in gortash’s head. “did he want to be caught?” (most definitely.) “has he done this before without me noticing?” (you can bet on it, mate.)

Sad thing is, I can’t for the life of me figure out what gort would actually do in the moment here, but it’s when he realises that if he wants to manipulate Bhaal’s favourite child, to claim, to conquer, he’s going to have to speak his language. so the next morning he very nonchalantly brings up the incident that Aeryn is eagerly pretending didn’t happen, and offers his help him with his little sex addiction. puts himself in this caring, almost therapeutic role. bullshit, of course. he has no intention of fixing just yet. only after he’s been broken can he be fixed, remade in his perfect image. and aeryn, to his credit, does know that it’s bullshit. he just underestimates the depth of it. See, he knows that Gortash wants to break him. he knows that gortash is a manipulative, domineering control freak. but he kind of just. thinks it’s a weird sex thing. his reaction to gort’s proposal is basically “you’re even weirder than i thought. okay fine. i’ll play your game. i’ll win in the end.”

That’s another key part of their dynamic: mutual misunderstanding. Aeryn thinks it’s a game, Gortash thinks it’s war. Gortash thinks he’s breaking Aeryn, but Aeryn’s loving it.

Gortash’s “therapy” is anything but, of course. Aeryn doesn’t become less of a sex pest, he just finds it increasingly difficult to enjoy himself with anyone but Gortash, who knows him, what he likes and doesn’t like, inside and out. (all part of the plan, the possessive cunt) which pisses Aeryn off to no end because the man Just Won’t Fuck Him in the way he wants. oh, they’re doing weird “stabbing as a metaphor for penetration”, sexually charged medical malpractice, voyeurism, full on bdsm shit all the time, but there’s very little… touching. Gortash just gets off way more on denying Aeryn what he wants while slowly driving him insane with desperation than he ever would if they just. had sex. This isn’t to say they never do, but we’re talking 10 years down the line here, and only under very specific conditions. (more on that in a bit.) If aeryn was right about one thing, it’s Gortash being a weird sexual control freak.

anyway here’s some things their warfare includes:

Gortash bringing some noble up to his chambers to seduce them, notices the window he left closed is open, a chair in the corner’s cushion being smushed down by an invisible weight, and thinking “ah, i’m performing for two tonight.”

one of Gortash’s main weird psychosexual fantasies about Aeryn being turning him into an Actual Doll and keeping him on his shelf for all eternity. he makes many different types of dolls after Aeryn’s likeness, including plushies that he holds at night for a few months before giving them to Aeryn just to savour the look of confusion and disgust on his face.

Gortash stealing some of Aeryn’s Bhaal-sculpted skin and turning it into gloves.

Aeryn waking up after Gortash spikes him in increasingly awkward positions over the years (this happens a lot. like, a lot.) the first time he wakes up bound, gagged and blindfolded in gort’s basement. “i just wanted to see how long it would take you unti you freed yourself. 2 minutes and 31 seconds if you were wondering. i’m impressed :)” eventually he gets used to that routine and he just ends up laying under gort’s desk for a few hours, listening to him work, Gortash occasionally talking to him like you do to a pet. this is probably the closest they get to domesticity. A few years down the line, Aeryn wakes up naked, covered in bruises and black handprints, aching between his thighs.

Knowing it finally happened, but having no memory? If I had to pinpoint the closest Gortash ever got to winning the war, it was there. something in his brain genuinely breaks that night.

Oh. And they only kiss once. Right before Aeryn’s lobotomy, as well, it’s a whole thing. I might make that into a separate post. or you can send an ask. that’d be nice :)

edit: here it is

[rainbowdaisy13]

I have some nay-saying counter-thoughts to missy’s post about the zane lowe Me! interview, from a place of good faith.

I’ve been a kaylor since rep, and very closely followed the lover rollout, and taylor’s talking points in this interview have very straightforward explanations according to what I remember from that time. Me! came out as a lead single, the album name hadn’t been announced yet. I remember the atmosphere of excitement that taylor was pushing the ‘clues and easter egg hunts’ aspect of her brand sooo hard, and specifically around such a gay and rainbowy video!!! Me! Out now!!!! all that was so exiting, because us kaylors were the ones used to being the most involved in easter egg hunting, it felt like she was talking to us. but she still wasn’t being explicit to the public that the easter eggs were gay. in official interviews she angled it like ‘my easter eggs help the fans figure out facts about the upcoming album’. I think there’s a double meaning there, she used the frenzy around album-related easter eggs to encourage gay easter-egg hunting but with plausible deniability. In this interview she’s talking about how the word ‘Lover’ is seen in the music video. that’s the easter egg that ‘some people have got’: the upcoming album name was right there in massive pink cursive letters, and later everyone was like duh!! how’d I miss that! I remember her confirming that later when the album came out. It’s hard to explain, like this behaviour totally IS a gay hint, but she also covered herself with an ‘official explanation’ that she pointed to more explicitly.

then, I’ll be honest I reckon the rep double album tiktok is big clowning. the original rep IS an album of ‘two sides’, we talked about that all the time in the kaylor-sphere when it came out, and it was a consistent part of taylor’s narrative for explaining the album (once she was actually giving interviews again, in the lead up to lover). there are the big bravado bass-y songs (that most of the public interpreted as kim and kanye diss track drama songs) but fans knew the album’s core / ‘other side’ was beautiful love songs that about a secret love that she eventually passed off as ‘about joe’ (but we’d always known it’s about the actual secret love- karlie). the two sides to rep have always been understood as the ‘love story amongst the noise’ as she describes here.

I’m no hater, I just think we need to remember the context when looking back! just saying, I don’t think there’s anything here that wasn’t explained at the time.

Excellent post thank you anon! And yes please no one take offense, this isn’t a shot at anyone—it comes from a place of being people who have been here for years, who know we’ve discuss pretty much everything there is to be found at length, but it’s nearly impossible to find those posts even if our blogs are still in existence bc tumblr doesn’t have a way to easily categorize and archive posts

Side Note—Part of the reason I don’t use TikToc is because so many TT kaylors pirate our content here without giving credit. I love that the tumblr kaylor community is overall wonderful at reblogging and interacting with each other—vibe is collective discovery over clout 🖤

[theweeklydiscourse]

Aaron Warner: A Defanged Romantic Lead

Don’t get me wrong, I actually love Aaron Warner’s characterization in Shatter Me. I like his unhinged attitude and how at times he comes off as a little delusional with his fantasies of a fucked up future together with Juliette. He’s like an obsessed scientist who caught a mermaid and is both in love with her while also being fascinated with her supernatural qualities and wanting to exploit her for them…BUT.

There’s this trope I’ve noticed that I’ve thought about for a while, but I’ve never actually written about it. Have you ever noticed that in certain stories involving fantasy or dystopian elements, the story will begin with a dangerous and edgy male lead with dubious morals but as soon as the author considers them as a romantic interest for the female lead they are completely and utterly defanged?

What I’m referring to is the tendency to characterize a male lead as an unhinged individual who engages in violent and dangerous behaviours in the first book only to completely backtrack on that characteristic in the second book. These male leads are often extremely well-liked by readers and are involved in equally well-liked romantic sub plots in their respective series. However, there is a certain dissonance to these types of characters that I believe cannot be ignored and I have an unconfirmed hypothesis on why this trope has become so popular. Aaron Warner is a perfect example of this trope (among many) and to illustrate my point, I’ll use examples from Shatter Me and Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi.

To make things clear, I do enjoy romances with darker themes, But, I absolutely cannot stand the lack of nerve in both of these narratives and their refusal to truly lean into the subjects they raise and how they cower at the implications of what they’ve written.

Anyways, here’s a page from my physical copy of Ignite Me from a few years ago.

I hate how Aaron’s explanation for his actions in Ignite Me amount to him getting huffy with Juliette for expressing her grievances with the way he handled things in Shatter Me. It’s just one justification after the other in rapid succession. Some of it it plausible, like his efforts to establish Juliette as an intimidating force in the Sector by making a public display of her abilities (albeit against her will) as well as belief that he was lifting her out of a poor situation. But, this is all marred by the final line: "I had no idea you hated me so much. That everything I tried to do to help you had come under such harsh scrutiny.” Because…really? You had no idea that Juliette harboured any negative feelings towards you after what you did? That your actions would come under “harsh scrutiny”?

Let’s go back to Shatter Me, shall we?

“We will always be enemies.” My voice is cracked into chips of ice. The words melt on my tongue. “I will never be what you want me to be.” (Shatter Me, Chapter 13)

I push him hard, slamming his back up against the door. “You disgust me.” I stare hard into his crystal-cold eyes. “You disgust me—” (Shatter Me, Chapter 18)

I meet Warner’s gaze. “If you ever put me in a position like that again, I will kill you. And I will enjoy it.” (Shatter Me, Chapter 25)

“You’re insane.” My hands are shaking but I hold the gun up to his face again. I need to get him out of my head. I need to remember what he’s done to me. “You want me to be a monster for you—” (Shatter Me, Chapter 27)

All of these lines are preceded or followed by Aaron insisting that he is helping Juliette or that she should appreciate the work he’s done to make her flourish. So it seems ridiculous that Aaron suddenly shocked and appalled that Juliette thinks of him as a bad person. While I do think that some of Aaron’s actions were justified given the circumstances, it is still laughable that the narrative expects me to buy into Aaron’s argument here. I imagine that this conversation is meant to recontextualise his actions and give him a chance to explain things from his side, but all it does is give him full permission to go on a self-righteous tangent.

This scene encapsulates my point about Aaron being defanged. It exists to portray him as a well-meaning but unaware benefactor to Juliette (unbeknownst to her) and seems to let him avoid taking responsibility for his actions. His claims that he was unaware of Juliette’s initial disgust and hatred towards him even though evidence suggests the complete opposite. How could you “have no idea” that Juliette felt that way about you when she was throwing it in your face in all of your interactions? The answer is that Mafi wanted to do the whole “I was hurting you to protect you” deal but muddles her continuity due to her need to make Aaron a “good” person at all costs. It’s an especially baffling character decision especially when Aaron claims to have an intimate knowledge of Juliette’s true feelings several times.

But that’s not the only thing. Aaron’s shock about Juliette thinking he was an unhinged creep suddenly frames Juliette in a negative light. Suddenly, she is at fault for being too judgmental and jumping to conclusions about his motives when he had deliberately misled her.

“Was that all a part of your plan, too? No wait, don’t tell me”—I hold up a hand—“that was just a simulation, right?”

Warner goes rigid.

He sits back; his jaw twitches. He looks at me with a mixture of sadness and rage in his eyes. “No,” he finally says, deathly soft. “That was not a simulation.”

“So you have no problem with that?” I ask him. “You have no regrets over killing a man for stealing a little extra food? For trying to survive, just like you?”

Warner bites down on his bottom lip for half a second. Clasps his hands in his lap. “Wow,” he says. “How quickly you jump to his defense.”

“He was an innocent man,” I tell him. “He didn’t deserve to die. Not for that. Not like that.”

“Seamus Fletcher,” Warner says calmly, staring into his open palms, “was a drunken bastard who was beating his wife and children. He hadn’t fed them in two weeks. He’d punched his nine-year-old daughter in the mouth, breaking her two front teeth and fracturing her jaw. He beat his pregnant wife so hard she lost the child. He had two other children, too,” he says. “A seven-year-old boy and a five- year-old girl.” A pause. “He broke both their arms.”

Judge me,” he says, “all you like. But I have no tolerance,” he says sharply, “for a man who beats his wife. No tolerance,” he says, “for a man who beats his children.” He’s breathing hard now. “Seamus Fletcher was murdering his family,” he says to me. “And you can call it whatever the hell you want to call it, but I will never regret killing a man who would bash his wife’s face into a wall. I will never regret killing a man who would punch his nine-year-old daughter in the mouth. I am not sorry,” he says. “And I will not apologize.” (Ignite Me, Chapter 7)

What a sick joke.

“GOD Juliette! I can’t believe that you’d view me as the kind of person who would kill an innocent man in cold blood! It’s not like I deliberately misled you and lied about my motives for killing him. It’s not as if I manufactured a scenario where I came off as a dangerous and cold-blooded psychopath and did nothing to make you think otherwise. Wow can’t believe that you’d be so judgmental.”

You know? It’s not lost on me that Aaron doesn’t even address the fact that Juliette was fed false information about Fletcher and gets so indignant about her assessments of him. I hate this part even more than the last. Take a look at the scene from Shatter Me they’re referring to and you’ll see what I mean.

I’m sorry but this is just stupid beyond words. It irritates me to my core that the narrative cannot commit to Aaron’s previous characterization and follow-through on it. It cheapens his development later on and it almost borders on gaslighting with how it tries to cast judgment on Juliette for questioning Aaron’s morality in the first place. And for what? All to make Aaron into a technical good guy who has all the aesthetics of a dark romantic lead, but none of the edge to match. He is dulled by this contradictory scene and made into this schlub who was just doing his best to help while implicitly accusing Juliette of jumping to conclusions and being too “harsh”.

Because this passage from Shatter Me proves that Juliette isn’t just pulling these accusations out of thin air, she has a legitimate reason to believe that Aaron is morally bankrupt, but the narrative doesn’t let her dwell in those conflicting emotions. Instead, it goes out of its way to make Aaron as noble and misunderstood as possible while shaming Juliette for buying into the LIES THAT HE HIMSELF TOLD HER!! The cherry on top of this scene is that she apologizes to him as he storms off in a huff.

It’s such an emotional cop out and it tries way too hard to soften Aaron’s actions to make him more digestible as a romantic lead.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

what is your mclennon take

All righty then, feel like I haven't been asked this in two years.

(throwback to @phoneybeatlemania asking me this on anon on like day two of my having this blog <3)

I wanna preface this by saying I'm hyper-aware that multiple takes more or less fit the facts. I'm often reading up on what people who disagree with me are saying and try to consider their arguments as seriously as I can. Because of this, I don't feel entirely confident committing to one single take; more, a spectrum of scenarios I find more or less plausible.

(putting this under a read more cause I'm annoying lol)

At this point you can't really convince me John wasn't bi; the evidence is ample and IMO conclusive. Combining that with things John said after the breakup, some of his behaviours and words while the band was together makes him being attracted to Paul seem very likely to me, and I generally operate under that assumption though I do try to sometimes consider other possibilities.

Generally, I don't really buy into the idea that Paul is (meaningfully) attracted to men for two reasons: 1) he's denied it + continues to do so, and I dislike going against someone's word without good reason and 2) all the evidence I've seen for it feels very… Circumstantial. It seems more like a post-hoc explanation for a bunch of not necessarily related behaviours rather than concrete proof. (for example comparing when Paul started growing a beard to when he and Linda got together and concluding a general "return to the safety of heteronormativity" in mid-'68 based on that)

That being said, that doesn't mean I think Paul couldn't possibly be bi and I do see how the fact that he's still alive means that anecdotes like the ones we have of John confirming his consistent interest in men would not have emerged as easily and readily as they did once John died. (and conversely, Paul has outlived most Beatle-era people; I doubt much will come out from that time period at all in the near future, unless his kids decide to share things, but loyalty appears to be the currency of the McCartney Clan so…)

And also, I've seen this implied multiple times so let me reiterate: thinking Paul is not attracted to John is not equivalent to thinking Paul had an in any sense normal friendship with John. I believe that, no matter what, John was important to Paul to a probably slightly unhealthy extent and I don't discount that he's referred to John as some type of soulmate.

Now, timeline-wise, I consider myself somewhat of an outlier in that I'm highly skeptical of the idea that John was attracted to Paul from the moment they met (and, for that matter, if proof of Paul's attraction to men emerged, this skepticism would extend to him as well). But I also don't have some timeline I'm personally subscribed to because I think the evidence on this front is convoluted and somewhat contradictory. I'd say it mostly indicates to me that either a) John experienced multiple waves of infatuation which ebbed and flowed over the years or b) he was somewhat possessive of Paul before he was actually attracted to him. (or a combination of these two) Another thing I don't feel particularly confident about is at what point this attraction would have become conscious (and I err on the side of not believing an unconscious attraction could have lasted especially long)

I usually try to approach them holistically as people and when I can leave the romantic/sexual stuff unaddressed because I think a lot of aspects of their relationship can be analysed regardless of the precise nature of their dynamic. On the other hand, I do acknowledge that both these men were very sex/love-oriented and thus I can't discount it completely.

[blanketforcas]

A guide to real-person shipping and tinhatting

Most of this can be applied to general tinhatting but I will mainly be focusing on RPS and using examples from cockles fandom. This is based on my experience and what I’ve personally come across. Examples I use are merely illustrative and not meant as shade to anyone.

Let’s get some ethics of rps out of the way first

*disclaimer: this is what I would advise, I know opinions on this do vary

Try to keep it off main as much as possible (ie twitter, tiktok). You can’t always escape the algorithm, some stuff does get seen by the actors. Every actor’s comfort level with this is different, but as a general rule let's say tinhatting stays on tumblr or group chats

Try to avoid stating something as truth unless you’re quoting the actors

This goes without saying, but don’t ever mention the ship to the actors and if they bring it up themselves, don’t forget that’s not a free pass to just say whatever

Now, moving on to some pitfalls and tips

Do some basic research

Is this tweet/post reflecting the truth? Do multiple sources confirm this? Is there video? What was the context? What is happening right before and right after this particular moment? Does that change how you think about it?

When you see a picture you haven’t seen before, are you sure it’s not a manip? Use reverse image search and if nothing comes up, try to look up the event using key words to see if you can find the picture. If it’s hard to find and friends can’t help you either, it’s probably a manip. Obviously also look for signs within the picture itself (strange lines/different lighting on one person/missing limbs etc)

Are you projecting?

We all do it! It’s normal, just try to be aware when you’re doing it. Sometimes actors might indeed be similar to you when it comes to [whatever your theory is about], sometimes not at all. Fact remains you’re more likely to run with it when it’s something you do or feel yourself. Try to ask some friends what they would do/how they would react and maybe you’ll find out it’s less common or obvious than you think.

Confirmation bias is one hell of a drug

It’s surprising how easily a pattern can be found if you actively try to find one. Try to keep thinking critically: do I too quickly add something to the list of evidence because I really want my theory to be true? Does it really belong in that pile or could there be another reason why X happened the way it did?

The more effort it requires to make your theory sound plausible, the less likely it is to be true

Does it need a lot of explanation? Are you having to find a lot of excuses when an alternative explanation is presented? Are there inconsistencies in your theory that are difficult to explain away?

These are all red flags and should make you question the validity of your theory.

You as a fan are always going to be far more invested than any of these actors will ever be

Whether it’s about the show they are on or their social media behaviour, you will always care more and inevitably find details that weren’t put there intentionally.

No, the actors aren’t constantly leaving clues about the show you love (“you’re not crazy” tweets aside) in their everyday posts, they are just living their lives and sharing it.

And no, actors aren’t hiding secret and very obscure messages in their posts about how their relationship is real. They will simply quote Casablanca on the other person’s birthday and assume you get the memo

Remember they aren’t as obsessed with us as we are with them

This ties into the previous point about hiding secret messages. It’s a consequence of parasocialising which is something I talk about later in this guide.

Actors may or may not care a lot about us as people/as a fandom, and sometimes they do like to play with us in a general lowkey sense, but they aren’t looking for a “special” group of people who Get It. They aren’t putting in the time and effort to find a way to communicate with us on some secret code level. An example within cockles fandom I’ve seen is the stoplight system (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, this was an idea proposed by a fan via text messages that Misha could use red/yellow/green to communicate how loud we could be about cockles – the day after, the official Gish account’s activity was seen as possible confirmation Misha actually adopted the method).

Which leads me to my last point:

Watch out for conspiracy thinking

I know, I know. It’s kind of in the name. Tinhatting implies some sort of conspiracy, but this is a bit too simple when it comes to RPS and especially cockles – where you have two people who make a lot of references themselves and like to have fun with it. There’s different levels of tinhatting one can do, my goal is just to try to make you more aware of some of the red flags and pitfalls that I’ve mentioned throughout this post.

Okay maybe one final point about mental health

You’re more susceptible to falling for some of these things if you’re parasocialising hard. It’s something we are all familiar with because how else did we end up in this dumpster in the first place?

It doesn’t need to be problematic – it’s almost inevitable and comes with being a fan. With tinhatting It’s important to check in with yourself from time to time how much you care about a particular theory and why you find it so important.

More generally when you find yourself spending more and more time in these fandom spaces – ask yourself if there’s something else you’re avoiding or feelings you’re repressing that need to be dealt with. Reach out to friends (those can and do include the people you spend all that time discussing RPS with), try to distance yourself a bit etc. Take a step back if needed.

With all that being said, you can still do whatever you want and make your own judgement. I just hope this can help at least one person to be more cognizant of how they engage with RPS. I know I’ve personally fallen for some of the traps and I learned and still learn along the way.

Yes, this is a little bit silly, it’s a silly subject matter. The reason I care so much and wrote this guide anyway, is not just because I like tinhatting to be believable (cause I do, I can’t deny that) but also because a lot of these critical thinking skills are helpful in for example preventing people from falling for actually dangerous conspiracy theories, cults and cult-like group structures, and toxic relationships.

Now I feel like I ended on such a serious note but I want to emphasise of course the most important part of RPS is to have fun – and this is hopefully just a tiny toolbox for when you want to do more of a deep dive.

Happy rps'ing!

[beans-in-your-socks]

Good Omens S2 Ending Theories: an analysis.

ok so in the aftermath of good omens s2 lots of theories have risen about Aziraphales choices and his out of character behaivour.

i will be discussing my takes on the following theories:

The Coffee theory + book of life theory

The Lie theory

Religious Trauma theory

The Last Resort theory (my own theory)

(Please feel free to make any corrections if i get any information wrong)

Starting with the coffee theory:

(i may be wrong here, this is what i have heard, i am still currently reading "the magic trick you didn't see" essay) the coffee theory :

This theory basically goes off the idea that The Metatron has laced the coffee with some sort of poison or miracle so that Aziraphale would be compliment with him and go back to heaven. there's another theory that sort of ties in with this, in that, The Metatron is meddling with the book of life.

what we know:

Poison affects celestial beings very differently than it does to humans (as seen in the flashback where Crowley chuggs a bottle of Laudanum, a very strong painkiller, which can be toxic if taken in large amounts. Usually, for humans, an overdose on Laudanum would result in a coma or loss of consciousness whereas, Crowley got high as a kite, shrunk, grew and went a little off his rocker.

The Coffe had Almond syrup

almonds symbolise Holiness and Purity

whether this a metaphor or The Metatron being evil, we cant know

he was extremely forceful in trying to get Azi to drink the coffee, as seen in the quote "are you going to drink it?"

his voice was welcoming yet there was a slight undertone of malice

when he orders the Coffee he asks for a dash of Almond Syrup, which is like very small amount but when he hands it to Aziraphale he says it has a "hefty jigger" of almond syrup, which is drastically larger than a "dash"

"do people ever ask for death" what kind of a questions is that? its so suspicous

we all know how good Neil is at adding the little details, so why else would he include the whole coffee scene and concept?

My thoughts: i think the coffe theory could be a plausible explanation of the last events of ep6. Azira's behaviour was erratic and out of character. we ALL knew something was up when he said "Nothing lasts forever". this bitch has been wearing the same outfit for 100 years.

he also intially said he doesnt want to go back to hevean, but as he drunk more coffee he became more compliment with the idea of him leading the angels.

theres also something so deeply unsettling about the elevator scene. he's smiling, almost manically. Azira was NEVER power hungry, so him taking the job as supreme archangel, without another thought, doesn't make much sense.

i will probably add more to this but that's it for now.

The Lie theory:

the lie theory states that The Metatron never said that Crowley could become and angel again, and that Aziraphale made this up so that he would feel less guilty about leaving Crowley behind, because he knew that Crowley would never, under any circumstance, come back to hevean.

frankly, this theory makes no sense. if this was the case, Metatron's whole chunk of dialogue after Crowley leaves would be unnecessary and unjustified.

he says "how did he take it?" as if asking if Crowley was coming back

"he always did want to go his own way" implying that the offer of coming back to hevean did exist and that he just declined

"always asking damn fool questions too" talking about Crowley's fall from hevean

i, personally dont think the lie theory is a justifiable explanation for the s2 ending.

The Religous Trauma theory:

probably one of the most justifable theories, the religious trauma theory is that Aziraphale has been so brainwashed by thousands of years worth of manipulation from heaven, that he just cant see how toxic they are. he desperately wants to believe they can do good, and that he can lead the good. he wants to "fix" the system, when in reality, the system is working exactly how it was built and should be demolished, not fixed, because there's nothing to fix.

this makes a lot of sense, although it still doesn't explain the emphasis put on the coffee.

so

i present:

The Last Resort theory.

a theory of my own creation, the last resort theory is a sort of combination of the Coffee Theory and the Religious Trauma Theory. (Similar theories probably already exist but here's mine)

The Metatron knew that Azira would never leave Crowley, but he did know that Aziraphale would take the chance to "fix" heaven. he knew that manipulation alone wouldn't be enough, he's smart, and so had to add that extra cherry on top, a "class A, surreptitious half a miracle". in the last resort theory, Metatron has laced the coffee in some way to tip Aziraphale over the edge, because he knew that the offer of bringing him and Crowley back heaven would be almost enough to destroy humanity once and for all. The Metatron spiked the coffee as a last resort to tempt Aziraphale back upstairs and destroy the earth. he knows that if Azira stays with Crowley they will find a way to stop the second coming, which he cannot have happening, he needs for them to be separated for this to work. its obvious he hates Crowley, he gives him dirty looks and insults him after the confession, by bringing up one of the most painful experiences of his past, the fall. so he separates them, and that leaves us at our end.

Aziraphale smiling insanely in the elevator

and Crowley crying silently and internally in his Bentley.

what are everyone else theories?

[dtmsrpfcringe]

Hi, so I was aware of the account around the same time that I think you were told about it in your anons - they started following me. I didn't think much of it when I looked at it (I tend to check followers for bots etc), other than 'christhs1' potentially being his middle name, and it kind of having the same structure to his old account, 'mchshe1'. But for a time, I just dismissed it.

Anyway, the account then updated, and added the dog/meme pfp, the pronouns, and then the name. The name especially threw me for a loop, a) because it's Sheen's middle name, and b) Thomas is his mother's maiden name. Then when they rb'd your anon, and I thought 'okay, this could potentially be him, that'd be fair enough because that anon seems the most likely (and level-headed) explanation to the whole Michael/David thing, rather than "secret relationship being kept hidden by PR" shtick'. This is the point where I wanted to keep an eye on the account, because if it /was/ him, lol that's brilliant. I followed, thinking that if the guy just wants to lurk, good for him.

So then the pfp changed to one of him in a pub, and I couldn't find it or trace it back to /anywhere/. Which doesn't necessarily mean much, but if someone was impersonating him, I thought, it seems weird that they'd use a 'rare' pic, when there are others on his Twitter etc that they could have used instead. Why would they go to the effort of deep-diving for a specific image, and tbh - /how/ did they managed to find it? Again, I therefore thought that it could potentially could be him, using a picture only he would have.

I then noticed that they had been commenting on igv's posts, but even then it seemed plausible, if a bit bold, that it was him. Then the @ngo callout post, which was even bolder. Then they posted a meme/image post yesterday, having deleted the @ngo post, and /then/ they deleted that one (the 'x' they put on the end of it was interesting, though!), and posted this new callout one directed at @igv.

In between all this, they've changed the pub pfp back to the dog one a few days later, and then a few days after that (a couple of days ago, I think?) changed it to an image of his eye.

The @igv one is the post (that, and the new pfp) that has swayed me to thinking that it isn't him. It /could/ be that he's now read through all the posts they've made, especially the ones where they're ripping the shit out of Georgia and Anna - and ultimately fabricating a whole story, contrived from the very limited things that have been posted by media and on social media - and he's lost his temper about it. Plus, the spelling of 'socialise' and 'behaviour' support it - British spellings. Even 'fantasying' (sic) could be that he wrote 'fantasy' first, changed around the wording of his post, added on 'ing', and didn't quite proof-read properly.

But the issue for me is how the post describes the rumours of him being queer. The language comes across as .. well, to be honest, a bit derogatory; describing the /possibility/ of him being queer as disgusting and vile and nasty lies. Speculating about his sexuality is a horrible thing to do, no question about it; it's his business and his alone (whether he's straight, bi, pan or anything else) and he may not want to come out if he /is/ queer, or! Actually may not feel that it's necessary/that he needs to - that previous Tweets/interviews he's done speak for themselves.

But the way "a queer", and "SUCK DICK????" is also worded seems... Idk. Whilst obviously you can never know someone - especially a celebrity - from their interactions on social media, it just appears so far removed from how he's spoken in the past on social media, even when he's been pissed off at people.

So, despite all the other things that made me think 'Ha, would be cool if it were him! Also - mortifying!', that one post has put me in two minds; either a) it's not him, and just someone messing about impersonating him (at which point... Ok), or b) there's the very slim chance that it /is/ him, and he's understandably lost his rag... but at which point the wording of it is rather poor, in my opinion, even if that's not at all how he intended it to come across.

For my money, right now, it's the first explanation - that it's/not/ him, and was doing a good job of impersonation (being a bit mysterious, rare picture, using a pseudonym, using 'x' etc), but if they want to drop a selfie in my inbox or something lol, I'm more than happy to change my tune.

this!!!! This is what I was saying

[paranormal-xfiles]

Is the universe really a ‘dark forest’ full of hostile aliens in hiding?

By Jake Carter

Tony Milligan: We have no good reason to believe that aliens have ever contacted Earth. Sure, there are conspiracy theories, and some rather strange reports about harm to cattle, but nothing credible. Physicist Enrico Fermi found this odd.

His formulation of the puzzle, proposed in the 1950s and now known as “the Fermi Paradox”, is still key to the search for extraterrestrial life (Seti) and messaging by sending signals into space (Meti).

The Earth is about 4.5 billion years old, and life is at least 3.5 billion years old. The paradox states that, given the scale of the universe, favourable conditions for life are likely to have occurred many, many times. So where is everyone? We have good reasons to believe that there must be life out there, but nobody has come to call.

This is an issue that the character Ye Wenjie wrestles with in the first episode of Netflix’s 3 Body Problem. Working at a radio observatory, she does finally receive a message from a member of an alien civilisation – telling her they are a pacifist and urging her not to respond to the message or Earth will be attacked.

The series will ultimately offer a detailed, elegant solution to the Fermi Paradox, but we will have to wait until the second season.

Or you can read the second book in Cixin Liu’s series, The Dark Forest. Without spoilers, the explanation set out in the books runs as follows: “The universe is a dark forest. Every civilisation is an armed hunter stalking through the trees like a ghost, gently pushing aside branches that block the path and trying to tread without sound.”

Ultimately, everybody is hiding from everyone else. Differential rates of technological progress make an ongoing balance of power impossible, leaving the most rapidly progressing civilisations in a position to wipe out anyone else.

In this ever-threatening environment, those who play the survival game best are the ones who survive longest. We have joined a game which has been going on before our arrival, and the strategy that everyone has learned is to hide. Nobody who knows the game will be foolish enough to contact anyone – or to respond to a message.

Liu has depicted what he calls “the worst of all possible universes”, continuing a trend within Chinese science fiction. He is not saying that our universe is an actual dark forest, with one survival strategy of silence and predation prevailing everywhere, but that such a universe is possible and interesting.

Liu’s dark forest theory is also sufficiently plausible to have reinforced a trend in the scientific discussion in the west – away from worries about mutual incomprehensibility, and towards concerns about direct threat.

We can see its potential influence in the protocol for what to do on first contact that was proposed in 2020 by the prominent astrobiologists Kelly Smith and John Traphagan. “First, do nothing,” they conclude, because doing something could lead to disaster.

In the case of alien contact, Earth should be notified using pre-established signalling rather than anything improvised, they argue. And we should avoid doing anything that might disclose information about who we are. Defensive behaviour would show our familiarity with conflict, so that would not be a good idea. Returning messages would give away the location of Earth – also a bad idea.

Again, the Smith and Traphagan thought is not that the dark forest theory is correct. Benevolent aliens really could be out there. The thought is simply that first contact would involve a high civilisation-level risk.

This is different from assumptions from a great deal of Russian literature about space of the Soviet era, which suggested that advanced civilisations would necessarily have progressed beyond conflict, and would therefore share a comradely attitude. This no longer seems to be regarded as a plausible guide to protocols for contact.

Misinterpreting Darwin

The interesting thing is that the dark forest theory is almost certainly wrong. Or at least, it is wrong in our universe. It sets up a scenario in which there is a Darwinian process of natural selection, a competition for survival.

Charles Darwin’s account of competition for survival is evidence-based. By contrast, we have absolutely no evidence about alien behaviour, or about competition within or between other civilisations.

This makes for entertaining guesswork rather than good science, even if we accept the idea that natural selection could operate at group level, at the level of civilisations.

Even if you were to assume the universe did operate in accordance with Darwinian evolution, the argument is questionable. No actual forest is like the dark one. They are noisy places where co-evolution occurs.

Creatures evolve together, in mutual interdependence, and not alone. Parasites depend upon hosts, flowers depend upon birds for pollination. Every creature in a forest depends upon insects. Mutual connection does lead to encounters which are nasty, brutish and short, but it also takes other forms. That is how forests in our world work.

Interestingly, Liu acknowledges this interdependence as a counterpoint to the dark forest theory. The viewer, and the reader, are told repeatedly that “in nature, nothing exists alone” – a quote from Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring (1962). This is a text which tells us that bugs can be our friends and not our enemies.

In Liu’s story, this is used to explain why some humans immediately go over to the side of the aliens, and why the urge to make contact is so strong, in spite of all the risks. Ye Wenjie ultimately replies to the alien warning.

The Carson allusions do not reinstate the old Russian idea that aliens will be advanced and therefore comradely. But they do help to paint a more varied and realistic picture than the dark forest theory.

[koscheicore]

Rant about invisible illnesses, people's asshole behaviours, professional erasure, ableism etcetc + a bit of personal stuff

Yesterday I kind of... started crying bcs I was reading on fibromyalgia. I have read about it before several times, not only because it's plausible I could have that - or something with similar symptoms - but also because I just like to read on these things, and how people experience them.

However, what got me crying wasn't really the possibility of having it, the lack of explanation so far for my pain, but rather how many people affirm they don't get proper care for it, how many professionals believe it's not even real, how their pain is erased because it's not visible. How they're told they're too young to be feeling it, if they are young, and that's it, often refusing to look for any causes it's a years long battle to even get minimal help for it and then, when the pain gets unbearable it's not enough for the ER. People with fibro, and many other invisible illnesses, are thrown under the bus constantly. And it fucking sucks.

Today I talked about it a bit, and how idk where my pain stems from, and someone decided to tell me that they've heard fibro isn't even real. To all I said abt my pain, that's what they said.

Idk if I have it, but I don't need to have it, to have felt a deep sting as they said that. How I remember also how ppl irl around me genuinely believed widely that ADHD wasn't real in the early 2000s, too. And would tell that to people with a diagnosis even, upon learning they had it. What's the need? What do they get out of that? They read it somewhere and felt the need to say it, without any further research? Idk. Shit like this really hurts, even if it's something I'm not affected by or have the possibility to be, it really fucking hurts, because that's how people end up not having appropriate help and going through constant living hell.

It's definitely hurt me more to not be believed about my mental illnesses than to live with them. To try to reach out just to be dismissed, by friends I trusted, by family members, and fucking hell, by professional after professional. When people listen, and try to understand, even if they don't know how to support you, that's important, that helps. And that's when I started managing better, when people listened. Doesn't mean my issues got better, just that I was more willing to take care of myself, to try and get better or at least make things easier for myself.

Telling someone it's not real, that's just helping them blame themselves, think it's their fault, internalise self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness because well, if it's not real they shouldn't be struggling yeah? They shouldn't be complaining, they don't deserve help because it doesn't exist in the right place, yeah? That's what you're implying when you say it's not real. That's how you deter people from seeking help, even self-help if professional help isn't available (or they don't want to give it to you because let's face it. often they don't.)

And that's also why it's taken me so long to say anything about my pain to doctors, because well, I have been told I'm too young, too. And I'm tired. I'm not a good advocate to myself when it comes to getting help, because I'm just used to being dismissed, and it's tiring to fight, it's easier to swallow it up and keep living in the same struggle than to try to get help only to end up crying because you won't get it bcs incompetent so-called professionals. To lose friendships because of it too.

Idk. Just kinda had to get that out, I guess. Anyways, I have medical tests this month, so let's see how that goes.