#because you really don’t need to in order for zhuiling to work???

[twistedappletree]

lmao

[twodaysintojune]

A Disease, by any other Name

Mo Dao Su Zhi/The Untamed 

ZhuiLing, warnings-None

Find me at AO3

When Lan SiZhui entered the library, he saw Jin Ling frowning, arms akimbo and glaring at an open notebook that had apparently somehow insulted him to no avail according to the expression he was bearing at the moment. Curious, SiZhui entered his frame of view and looked at him from an angle.

"Jin Ling? What's wrong?"

Jin Ling looked at him and to SiZhui's surprise, his expression became more angry.

"You know, this is your fault too!"

SiZhui jumped a little and looked at him confused. Jin Ling only nodded to the empty seat in front of him and waited for the other to follow suit. SiZhui tried his best to not say anything about the fact that he was resembling his uncle a lot at the moment.

When he was finally down, Jin Ling smashed the notebook into his hands.

"Read."

"All of it?"

"All of it."

He said imperatively. SiZhui grabbed the book, opened it and did as told. The notebook was telling a story about Jin Ling, and JingYi, and himself. It felt kind of a normal retelling of their usual day to day until he arrived at a particular passage.

...Jin Ling stood under the magnolia tree with forlorn eyes planted on the kind boy who was currently ignoring him in favour of the other Lan disciple. He felt sadness fill his heart, wondering if he would ever be the recipient of such kind eyes for at least a moment's grace and then he fell into a coughing fit. It had been just a couple of coughs but there it was, undeniable, a single white fragrant chrysanthemum petal. He looked at it and, glancing a last sight at the happy pair, he turned around and crushed it in his hand...

SiZhui kept on reading, frowning more and more with each page that went by. 

"What… What on earth is this? What sort of disease is this? I've never seen you coughing flowers before. And you're very definitely not dead on the ground due to… unrequited love?"

"That." Jin Ling took some breath. "Is because this is obviously a made up story written by the female disciples. The Lan female disciples."

“The female disciples? How did you even meet them?”

Jin Ling went on telling SiZhui how he had been practicing his forms at the swords courtyard when he heard lots of giggles from behind one of the partition walls and saw the girls running away when he glanced at them. 

“I wouldn’t have minded much but I saw the notebook fall from the hold of one of the girls and so I went to pick it up. I thought they would need it for their class and checked it to see who it belonged to but I read THIS instead.”

SiZhui sighed. “We should give it back.”

“What? No!”

“Why not?”

“Why? WHY? Because it’s annoying! I’m not sick, I’m not in love with you and I’m definitely not on the brink of death! Do you realize what would happen if this kind of text spread out? Even if I’m here studying I’m still a Sect Leader SiZhui! I cannot have rumours of me being at death’s door!”

“I get your point but I don’t think these girls wanted for this text to spread either. It looks like a very personal thing.”

Jin Ling huffed. “Whatever, I don’t want to have anything to do with it. If you want to give it back then do it yourself.”

SiZhui gave his friend a pained smile. 

“Also why the hell did they choose a white chrysanthemum!? Wasn’t that like asking for my death from the very beginning!? What do these girls have against me that they want me to wilt and die!?”

Ah, that’s what got him this angry. Thought SiZhui, unable to stop a soft smirk at his friend’s frustrations.

“What would you have preferred?”

“I don’t know, something more auspicious? Like a lily or a lotus flower. I want my love to be happy, not a tragedy.”

SiZhui hummed in agreement.

“If it was you the one with the disease it would definitely be a lotus.”

“A lotus?”

“Yes, because you’re very elegant, you should only cough a flower as noble and elegant as yourself.”

SiZhui felt his cheeks burn slightly with the praise and then a thought came to his mind. 

“What if we change the story?”

“What?”

“Let’s change the story. You don’t want to die in it and I don’t want you dead either. Let’s change the story.”

Jin Ling gave him an odd look but he was definitely considering the proposition.

“We would be meddling with that girl’s writing. That would be impolite.”

“But you still don’t want to die, do you?”

“Ugh, alright! Let’s do it!”

SiZhui beamed and moved by Jin Ling’s side in order to grab the brush. 

“Alright, how do we follow this scene?”

---

Two days later, Lan Lu was called by her professor and given back the notebook she had been frantically looking around for yet unable to find.

“Be more careful next time. You should be grateful sect leader Jin found it and sent it back.”

Lan Lu thanked her jiaoshi and felt her cheeks burn. She excused herself and looked for a secluded place to open it, hoping that he had not destroyed her work in a fit of rage. She barely knew him from the few glances they had of him while walking from class to class but she and all her classmates agreed that he had quite a temper. 

When she opened the notebook she saw not one but two letters neatly kept within the pages, she took them and read the first one.

“Estimated disciple: 

I would normally not be bold enough to tamper with another person’s prose but I believe I have a certain right considering this story is done with me in my regards. And please keep in mind that I am not fond of being dead by any means. Not even the literary ones. 

Regards, Sect Leader Jin RuLan.”

Lan Lu felt her cheeks burn bright and thanked the heavens there was no one else around to see her. She took the second letter out.

“Estimated Lan Shimei:  

Please be more careful with your belongings next time. I hope you don’t mind us taking the liberty to change the end of your story, Jin Ling is a dear friend of mine and I would feel extremely sad should I ever receive news of his death.

Regards, Lan SiZhui”

Lan Lu felt almost about to faint. Knowing that Jin Rulan had read her story was already embarrassing enough but knowing that the kindest Lan, SiZhui, had done so as well was mortifying. She passed the pages until she found the place where the calligraphy changed and began reading.

Jin Ling opened his eyes surprised that he was still alive, no matter how faintly. He had assumed that the last flower he had coughed would have taken with him his last breath but something had managed to keep him alive. No, not something, someone. And that someone was still frantically sharing spiritual energy with him. When he looked around he felt surprised.

“SiZhui”

SiZhui tore his gaze from his task, sharing energy through his central meridian, upwards. He looked tired and desperate.

“Jin Ling! Thank heavens! Hold on! JingYi ran to fetch a healer! You’ll be better soon.”

Jin Ling coughed and looked away, “It doesn’t matter. Stop doing this. This disease cannot be cured just like that.”

“No, Jin Ling, no, you have to fight! I… I’ll help you! Just tell me who it is that is denying you and I’ll find a way to make them love you!”

Jin Ling gave out a sad laugh and felt his eyes begin to fill with tears. He covered his sight with an arm to avoid looking at SiZhui.

“Why are you always this kind? It’s no wonder that I ended up falling for you.”

Jin Ling felt the soft trail of energy tremble for a moment and then stop, making a deep sadness fill his lungs once more but this time, before he was able to stop breathing, he felt a pair of hands holding his face softly and then soft lips on him. Jin Ling’s breath stopped now for a completely different reason and he pushed the other boy away startled. 

“What are you doing!?”

“I’m showing you that I love you.” 

SiZhui kissed Jin Ling again but the other resisted.

“You…! You can’t say you love me just like that! What about JingYi!?”

“What about him?”

“What? I… I thought...”

“Jin Ling” SiZhui’s eyes went serious. “JingYi has been my lifelong friend, and yes, I love him. But the kind of love I feel for him is different than the one I feel for you. You’re brave and caring and I love that about you. I would be blessed to have you by my side. But you have to stay alive for that.”

“SiZhui...” Jin Ling felt the pain in his chest receding and another completely different feeling blooming inside. “Do you really mean it?”

“Yes, I want to be with you forever.”

Jin Ling now felt all the happiness inside him wipe away the constricted feeling inside his body in waves and held SiZhui’s hand.

“Then let’s do that.”

Lan Lu brought the notebook back to her lap and took a breath. After gathering herself, she stood up from her hideout and ran to her shared bedroom in the girl’s dormitories searching frantically for a clean notebook to write on.

---

Some days later, Jin Ling came into SiZhui’s bedroom with a scowl. When he spotted JingYi laughing out loud on his bed and SiZhui looking downwards apparently embarrassed, he couldn’t help but frown more.

“What are you laughing at?”

JingYi laughed even harder. “You! I’m laughing at you!”

“What? SiZhui, what does this idiot—” Jin Ling halted his thoughts when his friend pointedly tried to avoid his gaze “You told him about the story!?”

JingYi’s laughter increased while SiZhui lifted his hands in a calming motion.

“I never thought it was meant to be a secret!”

Jin Ling waved his hands frustrated. 

“Urgh SIZHUI!” Before he went any further though, he calmed down, counted to ten and gave JingYi a smirk. “Well then I guess it’s time for ME to laugh at YOU then.”

JingYi gave him a suspicious glance. “Why? What are you planning to do?”

“Me? I’m planning nothing, after all, I’ve already got my happily ever after.” Jin Ling said with a growing shit eating smirk, waving a notebook that he had apparently been holding in his hand all the time.

SiZhui frowned. “What is that notebook about?”

Jin Ling opened the notebook on the first pages and coughed up to clear his throat.

“JingYi coughed up the first petal of a magnolia flower outside the jingshi, while everyone was inside celebrating Jin Rulan and Lan Sizhui’s engagement...”

SiZhui’s eyes widened. JingYi frowned. 

“What the hell?”

“...He had been shocked the moment he heard the news and what was shocking him the most was that he had never thought that SiZhui would ever leave him and now that it was happening he felt as if a thorn had crawled onto his chest...”

“What the hell, that’s... That’s not true!” 

“...It was not up until now that he had realized just how much he loved his best friend...”

“That…! Give me that! Dammit Jin Ling!” 

“...And now, he realized, his heart was aching, longing for him~” 

Jin Ling began to sing-song while he jumped across the threshold, swiftly avoiding JingYi’s attempts at fetching him or the notebook while SiZhui hid his face between his hands with a groan.

“Oh, please no.”

“Why, Yes! It seems that Yes, there is a continuation!”

Jin Ling kept running away from the other Lan laughing. At least this time it was not him, the one at the verge of death and he couldn’t be more merrily thankful for that silver lining.