#what I usually do if I don’t like a certain thing in a fandom
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lmao
#saw someone saying people give JL the characteristics of LJY in order to ship zhuiling and#??????#that doesn’t make any sense to me because I’ve never read any zhuiling fics where either of them are OOC or switched characteristics#because you really don’t need to in order for zhuiling to work???#my dude#JL and LSZ are canonically close friends /because/ of how well their personalities get along with each other#like it’s literally canon that JL ends up being close to LSZ because of LSZ being so patient and supportive with him#idk what else to tell you#except sorry you hate a fictional ship so much that you gotta fabricate reasons to dislike it??#what I usually do if I don’t like a certain thing in a fandom#is ignore it and go on with my life bc it’s not that serious#but go off I guess lmfAO#anyway#delete later#also reminder that I’m not going to argue with you over this so don’t bother#apple babble 🍎#since the headcanon of them being related has been debunked over and over#i feel like people just grasp at straws to shit on zhuiling specifically and it’s so wild like#how do you never get tired of being so crusty 💀
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i am not ready to get pissed off today but can we not ruin people’s positive fandom experiences. can we not. if someone makes a post saying “i love sophie foster!!!!” can we not go to that post and immediately comment “well i don’t like her”. if someone shares a headcanon and it clashes with yours can we not go to that post and reply “well that headcanon is WRONG because HERE’S WHAT CANON SAYS”. if someone talks about a ship can we not go on that post and start ripping it to shreds. can we not. you are aware that just scrolling past without engaging is an option, right? you know you can tamp down the urge to express your negative opinion where inappropriate, right? make your own damn post!!!! can we not ruin positivity posts for the people that like/made them. can we please not. please.
#none of the examples i cited are actually what i’m pissed about. they’re just examples#if you don’t agree with a post you can do this magical amazing thing called SCROLLING PAST WITHOUT ENGAGING#when posts are all “sokeefe is so cute!!!!” do you see me commenting shit like “actually they’re toxic and they suck”?#no because i have basic fandom decency and have a semblance of self-control. do you think the sokeefers care about my opinion????#the only exception is when the person explicitly says they welcome debate#and usually a post that just says something like “omg who loves biana vacker here?” is not the sort of post that is inviting debate#jfc you all are you not ashamed#sorry for the vent i needed to get that out of my system. saw some responses to a post about a certain character that pissed me off#kotlc#kotlc fandom#keepblr#<- what i wrote this about#someone’s going to ask for the actual details that inspired this but i’m not giving them out publicly. dm me if you want to know#mine
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seeing ppl reblog a “shitpost” where dean homophobically rejects Cas in the confession not realizing it’s literally from w* / destiel haters who think dean doesn’t give af abt Cas and would actually do that. like yea I don’t expect ppl to vet blogs but like, I saw it and immediately got a Vibe from it and was right
#it’s wild how much deancrit destiel shippers will literally just end up parroting anti destiel things and headcanons#bc they think it’s funny that dean would be ‘homophobic’ or hate him and think he’d treat Cas like that#like truly I do not understand those kinds of ppl or how they can ship destiel if they actually hate one half of the ship but.#unfortch they exist. and it becomes sooo funny to them to reblog these kinds of posts that are literally from ‘the other side’#and then other ppl just uncritically reblog them and spread literal w*ncestie/br0nly ideas and headcanon around#anyways yes I’m too serious for certain subsections of this fandom#like sorry I’m not gonna reblog a shitpost that completely goes against what I believe abt these characters#he WOULDNT say ‘let the darkness take you faggot’. he WASNT holding back a ‘slur’. joking abt it isn’t funny to me 💁🏻♀️#esp since those are exactly the kind of things anti destiel ppl said to invalidate the confession or dean’s own feelings#and insist destiel ‘isn’t real’ bc Dean didn’t say anything / ‘looked like he was holding back a slur’ etc#fandom annoying me as per usual#it’s also abt sticking to your convictions for me#like either you think dean was in love with cas and distraught and processing and wanting to reciprocate in that scene#or you don’t
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Why do you even ship them?
In the past couple of months I’ve seen a lot of people genuinely confused about one or the other ship existing, so I wanted to explain some common reasons characters might get shipped.
This is part 1 of my fandom netiquette posts here is part 2
But before we get into it: The point is usually just good, plain old fun! The entertainment of them being together !
And for entertainment and fun, it doesn’t matter whether they’ve even been in the same room or not! Hell, it doesn’t even matter if they’ve been in the same universe or not! Basically: It’s all not that serious and the ppl harassing creators/actors/fans about said ships are usually the minority and frowned upon!
First of all, there are different ways in which people enjoy that ship:
In canon, aka it either is canon or they want it to be canon
Half canon, this means either post canon or if a very specific thing would have happened differently within canon
Canon divergent, aka it’s only enjoyable in theory or alternative universes and they don’t actually want it to happen within canon
In other words, there are different ways in which people support this type of relationship
It is the perfect relationship and everyone should strive to find and be this kind of love
While they have their flaws, this is a realistic way a healthy(ish) relationship can come out on the other end of all the horrors tm
This is (somewhat) toxic but in the universe/story line it makes sense and is the best possible outcome for them
This is the truly worst thing that could come out of it for the both of them but that’s why it is so interesting
Usually it boils down to these emotions:
It would be funny if they go together.
It would shift the impact of all that angst and trauma
It would be super cute. Plain old romcom vibes. Specially if the of story is not that at all and you just want something good for them.
Some basic reasons, that are more about the concept of them than actually them: :
They are fan favourites
They are both hot
Everyone else in the group is coupled up
They fit a certain stereotype/common trope
They resemble another popular ship juuuuust enough
The actors have played a couple/ship in another show
Spite! To annoy the author/other fans
Some personal reasons of the individual fan:
Reminds fan of their own crush
Fan relates to some aspects of their story
Fan relates to some aspects of the characteristics
Character looks like them/ like their crush
Based on the characters/stories design
They claim to hate/dislike/annoy each other but are somehow always found in each others business (willingly or not)
Opposites attract: They have opposing color schemes, personalities and/or views. The more differences the better.
Parallels: They have the same color schemes, personalities and/or views. The more similarities the better.
Based on their relations
You just want something good for this character and they (other character(s)) ARE that something good.
You just want something annoying for this character and they (other character(s)) ARE that something annoying.
Them being together would annoy this other character to noooo end
Even tho they don’t interact on screen (often), there is evidence that they did so off screen: they keep up a certain level of relationship (good or bad) despite everything else going on
Purely about the characters
They don’t pay attention to anything or anyone else nearly as much as they do about each other, especially ppl they should objectively care more about.
They’re the only ones who survived/left to deal with the aftermath. Even if they didn’t talk much prior to this, this is something to bond over. To keep the memory alive.
The expectations set on them are/were the same. And despite the different support systems and coping mechanisms… the other is truly the only one who could even find a glimpse of understanding of what they’re going through.
Yin and yang: a perfect mixture of parallels and opposites: They’ve gone through the same thing but deal with it widely differently. OR They come from widely different backgrounds and reasoning but end up at the same conclusion.
BECAUSE they’re so codependent they just wouldn’t make sense with anyone else, regardless of wether they themselves make sense
BECAUSE it is unhealthy and toxic and it’s interesting to explore such a relationship
BECAUSE if they’d be in literally any other genre/time they’d be fine. Nothing this bad would’ve ever happened if they’d just lived in another universe.
Why not ? It’s fiction.
These are all the reasons I can come up with at the top of my head but feel free to add!
Alas I want to encourage everyone to be open minded! Either to genuinely try to understand why a ship exists or, if you don’t want to waste your time on sth. you’re sure you don’t like, just filter and block the ship and their fans!
None of us can afford to waste our very limited free time on arguing with and harassing others about something FICTIONAL …that we don’t even like. Instead, please focus on making and/or supporting art about YOUR ship! This is not only much nicer to the fans you don’t support but also to yourself! Positive interactions will result in more positive interactions after all! Mostly.
#I’m tagging this with all the ships I’ve seen confusion about wether I ship them or not#xicheng#caitvi#beefleaf#kylux#supercorp#lawlu#namivivi#inosaku#coldflash#zukka#pansymione#kakairu#chirisu#sabriel#lokius#sterek#mystrade#harringrove#itafushi#satusugu#shokohime#nobamaki#batjokes#Ali x sangwoo#marvey#gihun x inho#carl x akram#superman x lex luthor#junho x salesman
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Here’s the thing. I’m really dense. Like not even on purpose like Maomao, it’s just how I am. Emotions and all that, I’m terrible at their interpretation.
And I was thinking about how Maomao (and people in the fandom) keep talking about how Maomao isn’t romantically attracted to Jinshi. To be honest, I was pretty convinced of them just ending up as friends, despite people repeatedly telling me she’s an unreliable narrator. That is until LN 7, and that’s when I realized how much she truly loves him even though that love doesn’t feel like a blazing fire to her. She is completely in love with Jinshi.
It’s how she almost seems to take comfort in his presence when she disagrees with Luomen for the first time. She’s embarrassed by it, doesn’t accompany him home even though she’s likes to be with her father as much as possible, and when she’s nagging Jinshi about how much sleep he’s been getting (it is genuine concern), I understood that train of thought. She’s trying to find even ground again even though she’s shaken up. And usually, I always thought she would keep her distance from Jinshi, because we’ve seen her freak out before. Maomao, when it’s only about her, she runs. She doesn’t face her emotions very well, but she decided to stay with Jinshi.
Then she’s clearly grumbling, jealous even, when she’s talking to Jinshi about how close En’en was to him. She probes, she questions him about what he let En’en do, what Suiren thought about her. Maomao was being uncharacteristically obvious with her feelings (likely because she was tuckered out).
Then when Jinshi, frustrated and anxious, treads on her nerves, she isn’t angry right away. No, she understands what caused him to say such a thing before she explodes. She takes note of it.
When she lashes out too, and Jinshi responds in the way she asked him to, she’s aware of why he hadn’t done so before. She understands he approaches her in a certain way for her own protection.
She keeps making these allowances for him and they’re not unjustified, even though she’s exhausted, a little ashamed, and frustrated—she has him on her mind.
People can say that it doesn’t signify romantic love, but honestly, she clearly finds him attractive, especially after she realizes he isn’t a eunuch (she did mention that she didn’t find eunuchs attractive partners). I wasn’t ever doubtful about her attraction, but more her admiration of him and the comfort he gave her.
Damn, I don’t know. LN 7 in general is one of my all-time favourites.
#I’ve never been in love with someone but I don’t think a blazing fire in someone’s heart is a requirement#it seems almost fantastical#like I genuinely don’t understand what else a soulmate would need#what’s more to a deep love than respect and comfort within each other#the apothecary diaries#the apothecary diaries light novel#the apothecary diaries light novel 7#kusuriya no hitorigoto#maomao#jinshi#jinshi x maomao#jinmao
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Entry 1 - The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post
This is my first blog entry and, before you start reading, let me just drop in this little disclaimer:
You will find that I bounce between fact and speculation with a mix of sarcasm and [I hope] level-headedness, common sense, and deductive reasoning.
I am a Lukola. Plain and simple. You will not change my mind. It’s an all or nothing thing for me. How I got here, I’m not exactly sure – wait, no I do know how I got here (thank you Nicola and Luke for being so fucking charming).
Of course, I knew what Bridgerton was before I joined the Lukola fandom. In fact, I watched both Seasons 1 and 2, and they were okay. Yes, just okay.
I knew that Season 3 was about Penelope – the only character I found remotely interesting – so when I saw an article on People’s page showing Nicola and her costar holdings hands, I admit I was intrigued.
Were they dating?
Let’s ask Mr. Google and find out.
No, apparently, they were not.
Okay, fine.
I then made the mistake of clicking on a video of Nicola and Luke being interviewed in Australia. And, motherfuck, they were like lightning in a bottle! Luke – being asked if he believed in friends to lovers – responded in a way that left me feeling a bit blindsided. My immediate thought was: “He fell in love with Nicola the moment he met her.” It’s funny how many people I’ve spoken to since who had an identical reaction and, to be honest, Luke’s response won’t make your heart flutter. But, it was something in the way he said it.
Now, let me explain my feelings about love at first sight. Actually, Nicola explained it best when she said lust at first sight is often mistaken for love at first sight. This, I agree with wholeheartedly. To me, love at first sight does not have to be lusty. It can be, sure, but it can also be something entirely different. Maybe it’s a fleeting feeling of recognizing someone in a way you cannot possibly articulate out loud. Maybe it’s a palpitation of your heartbeat. Maybe it feels like home. Regardless, when you experience it, you’ll know it.
That, my friends, is how I got here, and why I [sometimes begrudgingly] stay here – walking alongside this rather long, winding, and often pothole-filled road waiting for two people to admit to the general public – whether it be in a blatant or subtle manner – that they are, in fact, together.
I’ve noticed in this fandom we seem to have three types of people. We have the Sincerely Ignorant, the Conscientiously Stupid, and the Fact Finders.
The Sincerely Ignorant are those that are easily persuaded. They are like sheep following their shepherd. In fact, the Sincerely Ignorant are the most dangerous as they tend to spiral hard and fast – and often without reason.
Next, we have the Conscientiously Stupid. These are the shippers that choose to live in error because it fits their narrative. We are all a bit Conscientiously Stupid but there are those that push an idea so hard that they omit certain truths from their storyboard. The danger here is obvious and their victims always include the Sincerely Ignorant.
Lastly, we have the Fact Finders. The people who track information – key players, side characters, dates, places, statements, etc. These are the people who often find themselves pulling the Sincerely Ignorant out of the water when they spiral, usually due to narratives being pushed by the Conscientiously Stupid.
I am a Fact Finder. Am I perfect? Fuck no, but I do find it fun to collect and analyze information and share it with my fellow Fact Finders. Plus, collecting data helps me maintain some indifference towards the USS Lukola because, let’s face it, this god-damned ship has been blasted by quite a few cannonballs at this point. Some days, I’m surprised we’re still afloat.
Let’s start with Cannonball No. 1. Pap-fucking-smear. June 12/13, 2024. What a fucking shit show. Who shows up to the London premiere? Antonia, Luke’s – I honestly don’t even know what word to use here because I have a lot of different thoughts but out of [a small amount of] respect I will call her – “girl friend” [yes, that space was intentional]. We all know the story, Luke was papped outside his hotel with Antonia on premiere night and he was pegged an overnight dumpster fire.
And, oh my God, the Sincerely Ignorant and Conscientiously Stupid ran with it. I mean, they practically became wild dogs chasing down a fox under the command of Nicola the Huntsman. However, Nicola, almost immediately, came to Luke’s rescue by posting an “in support of” style story to her IG. I’m not saying Nicola wasn’t affected by this mishap. At the very least, the post-premiere PR efforts were dumped squarely on her tiny shoulders. At the worst, she’d had her heart broken.
I never liked the Papsmear pictures. Not because I disliked what they depicted but because there was something “off” about them. Luke didn’t look like a man happy to be out with his lady friend. He looked like a man who had been hoodwinked and whether that was because he knew he’d just made a major PR misstep or because he knew the narrative that would follow was false doesn’t really matter because it’s all speculative. But, what makes me believe it was the latter is what Luke did next.
On June 15, Luke put a story on his IG promoting Season 3. That isn’t all that interesting but the scene it depicted made me do a double take.
Could it be?
No…no way…
But…it was.
It was the scene in Ep. 6 where Cressida entered the Mondrich Ball and Colin pulled Penelope aside and told her he wouldn’t let Cressida ruin their evening.
What in the hot fuck? I mean, really, what in the hot fuck??
Did Luke really just blast out an IG story where his character tells Nicola’s character not to let the Cressida character ruin their evening? Was Cressida…Antonia?
Because that’s fucking loud.
I mean, of all the scenes over four episodes, Luke chose THAT one to promote Pt. 2?
Surely, Antonia or one of her friends or family members would have picked up on this, right? And, told Antonia.
No one is going to convince me that Luke and Antonia were in a blissful relationship after that IG story was posted. Why? Because the deductive reasoning part of my brain tells me Luke chose Nicola straight outta Pap-gate.
The Conscientiously Stupid may [rather they WILL] argue that it was just for PR. Okay, but that would mean Antonia accepted the comparison between Cressida, the Evening-Ruiner, and herself. Take a moment and put yourself in Antonia’s shoes. Would you accept this from your partner? (P.S. If you said yes, you have bigger problems in life than following real people’s relationships.) We know Antonia accepted this role to some extent because we have evidence she attended events with Luke over the summer. So, what the fuck?
In my opinion, Luke’s IG story is a defining moment in the Lukola narrative, but one that was overlooked in June and one that continues to be overlooked – and ignored – now.
Luke’s character is telling Nicola’s character he won’t let another woman ruin their evening.
Let me repeat that again for you: Luke’s character is telling Nicola’s character he won’t let another woman ruin their evening.
Now wrap your head around that.
#lukola#nicola coughlan#luke newton#my opinion#my thoughts#sincerely ignorant#conscientiously stupid#fact finder#speculation only
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just to fight?
(Ambessa Merdarda x Reader)

─━━━━━━⊱✿⊰━━━━━━─
summary: Ambessa, impressed by your skill, challenges you to train with her. She’s a teasing woman, but you sure didn’t expect the fight to become more than that.
─━━━━━━⊱✿⊰━━━━━━─
rating: explicit, minors dni
language: english
tags: #f/f #arcane #leagueoflegends #lol #Ambessa Medarda/Reader #Ambessa/Reader #Ambessa Medardaxreader #Ambessaxreader #AmbessaMedarda #LightDom/sub #OralSex #Sex #IWroteThisInsteadofSleeping #Training #TrainingCamp #TrainingFight #SoftAmbessaMedarda #ReaderInsert #y/n #wIw #UselessLesbians
link to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61339111
notes: I haven't written anything in a while. Wrote this when i should just be sleeping but this woman doesn’t leave my mind! Correct me if you see any errors and comment your thoughts about it <3 I don’t play league so…arcane !!! I accept suggestions to write fanfics about arcane characters x reader…and other fandoms…but i might take a whileeee to do them.
I hope you like it byee
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"I would like you to accompany me"
"Where?" That's what you wanted to ask, but you just say it in your head. You wouldn't have the courage to question Ambessa Medarda's word, because despite everything she was your lord, the person you should follow and obey
「• • •」
You had found it really strange that, for the first time since you joined the Noxian army, the warlord had come to see one of the daily training sessions, this never happened. You didn’t understand her motive, yet, to the surprise of many, there she was, attentive to everything your colleagues and you did
You were physically tired of having trained all afternoon, but the training was the usual for you.
You had been a soldier long enough to get used to that heavy training routine, but your boss's attention made everything much heavier, you felt you couldn't fail
You rarely did it, to be honest. You weren't extremely strong, like many, but you were agile and intelligent, which made you survive until now
「• • •」
While walking through the corridors you couldn't stop questioning yourself about where Ambessa Medarda would take you, it was rare for her to call someone particularly for whatever it was and distinctions were only in special times. You hadn't done anything wrong either, at least not that you consider.
"You look scared. That is something that doesn't look good on you." - She says with a firm and almost defiant tone.
"I just... I just wanted to know what's going on…”
"Why so much curiosity? Are you afraid?" - When she says this, she stops walking slightly and looks you in the eyes.
"N-no." - You said as firmly as you could, the last thing you could do was embarrass yourself in front of the person who has the most authority before you.
"That's good."
After some time walking Ambessa stops in the hallway, you almost bump into her, distracted by the million thoughts crossing your mind. You two are strangely close to Ambessa's office, which you thought would be your stop today. Of course, it wouldn't be a good thing if it were.
Nonetheless she opens another door.
Was it a...private training chamber? It was much cozier than your regular one, but why would she have taken you there?
"Won't you ask any questions? I didn't think you were so coy" - It seems that whenever she opens her mouth it's to provoke
"I apologize."
"Don't."
"Why am I here?"
"Why should you be, little lamb?"
When you hear her call you that you look into her eyes with a certain intensity, it annoys you when people try to diminish you, but then you realize that you can't look at someone like her that way and your expression changes
"You can get upset, that's how people fight better.”
"Did I come to fight?"
"To train with me"
"Why?"
"Because I want to." - Her face is serious. It is not an option, it is what you have to do. - "Now stop chattering and let's start" - She says as she enters the room and goes to the fight area.
You do the same.
Really, you should have noticed before, she was dressed in a training uniform, just like you, so it was obvious that she had come or was going to train, but you had no idea that she invited soldiers to train with her.
"Do you usually train with...soldiers?"
"Only with the ones I like" - She says cunningly. She's someone who likes to take advantage of situations, and she might not even really like you, but when she passed through the corridor and I saw you fight so foxily she couldn’t stop thinking if she could break you.
It's a constant within her, that of power.
You don't seem very confident about your future performance fighting against her, but you accept the fact that she chose you and you feel happy about it. You don't know very well how to react to what she said, so you simply put yourself in a battle position, preparing to start fighting.
She seems happy with your initiative and gives you a slight smile.
"Let's see how much you can handle." - It looked like a threat coming from her. You didn't know how far this training could go but you were definitely going to be beaten up, even so, you didn't want to lose your pride.
"Let's go then.”
Ambessa is a warrior, always imposing and focused on her goal. She knows she is completely in control, but in a training battle, what is at stake is not only winning, but also observing the other, understanding movements and weaknesses and in this you usually always overcome.
When you start the fight by deferring a punch in her stomach, her face doesn't reveal any emotion, but her eyes are sharp.
She even smiles a bit and moves with the precision of a predator around you, which leaves you apprehensive about whether you should have done that or not.
Her strong and dominant posture and her muscles are prepared to move at the right time, even so the way she is surrounding you is provocative, it makes you anxious.
Ambessa gives then the first step she advances quickly, but you, attentive, manage to escape quickly.
She admires, in her conscience, the grace with which you did it.
Without wasting time, she tried again, advancing with an accurate punch. But you now even more focused, you used your agility to escape, turning quickly and moving away from Ambessa with a light jump. You were trying to process how the rhythm of the fight was going to be. Your breathing was faster, but you managed to stay calm, controlling your steps and positioning yourself strategically. Ambessa doesn't seem surprised by your speed because that's precisely why she chose you in the middle of all the soldiers she saw. Quickly the lord composed herself, ready to resume the attack.
With a slight smile, she advanced again, now more cautious, studying the movements you did. She knew she could break you anyway.
However, you used your distance to buy time, moving fluidly, trying to predict Ambessa's attacks. When she approached, you leaned back, avoiding a direct blow. With a quick impulse, you got up, trying to hit a counterattack punch. But Ambessa dodged with surprising agility, always in control of the situation.
Over time, Ambessa felt that she needed to intensify the battle. Her patience runs out quickly, and she no longer wanted to play with the opponent. Her eyes shone with a fierce determination. She advanced harder, moving more brutally, trying to catch you by surprise. Ambessa used her height and strength advantage to surround you, without giving you space to escape again. With a quick and decisive movement, Ambessa grabbed your wrists, forcing you to stay on the floor.
You tried to fight against it, but Ambessa's strength was overwhelming. With a precise blow, Ambessa immobilized you, holding you tight, until there was no way to escape.
With a instigative smile, she leaned a little closer, and the provocation came out naturally.
"I thought it would be more difficult... Where was all that strength you seem to have?" - Ambessa's tone was full of fun, playing with your visible frustration.
But you didn't give up. With impressive agility, you used the moment of distraction to unexpectedly escape from Ambessa's domain, turning around and trying to take advantage of the gap. You didn't have the strength to completely immobilize Ambessa, but your determination made you try at all costs. With considerable effort, you tried to spin and position yourself behind Ambessa, trying to apply an immobilization technique.
Ambessa, now with a wider smile, noticed your effort and the difficulty you were having to apply the blow. - "Oh, so here's your great hidden force, little lamb."
"That's not my name.” - You answer. She laughed softly, more impressed with your persistence than with your attempt.
"Good try, but you will need more than that to get me, child." - With this, Ambessa got rid of you and the fight continued.
At a certain point you were already exhausted, your movements slower, your breathing heavy. Ambessa knew it was the right time. In a quick movement, she used her strength to knock you to the ground again, immobilizing you with precision, leaving you with no space to escape. Despite trying to resist, you no longer had the necessary energy to continue.
Ambessa, with a satisfied smile, kept you on the ground for a moment. - "You tried, but it wasn't enough..." - she said in a soft voice, but you felt that she couldn't finish the sentence because she didn't know your name.
With a certain shortness of breath you say - "Y/n"
"There's still a lot to learn, Y/n, but I see great potential in you."
You, with your eyes still full of determination, looked at her, but the tiredness was evident. Ambessa finally released you, helping your body up.
"You tried very hard, I admire that" - She said with a kinder tone. - "But it can't always be about winning, right? - She provokes.
You looked at Ambessa, still hurt by the defeat, but with a sincere smile on your face.
"Thank you for choosing me to fight," - you replied, with a renewed determination.
Ambessa watched you with a respectful look, placing a hand on your shoulder. Then her expression changed, something sly there in the middle.
She approached you
"Do you think I would call you just to fight?"
She doesn't seem to be joking when she says that and you get confused for a moment. Like what the hell was she saying.
Her hand goes up from your shoulder to your chin and stays there.
Ambessa can't deny it, she feels attracted to women who are strong, who don't give up and the fact that you have the courage to continue training with her pleased her. Not to mention that she may have chosen you for being agile and looking determined, but she also chose you because you were beautiful.
Your head is at a million per hour.
Ambessa Medarda, one of the strongest warriors who has ever stepped on earth, is touching you as if instead of having just fought with each other, you had met at a bar and she was ready to take you home.
You've had sex with women, that's not even the problem, but in what world would a woman like this look at you in such a...seductive way.
"I-I don't think I understood…” - It's the only thing you can say.
"I can make you understand.”
And with that she grabs your head and pulls you for a kiss so intense that you lose your balance and your head turns in confusion.
It takes time for you to realize what is happening, but the moment you orient yourself, you do not miss the opportunity that is given to you.
Maybe you're even dreaming, then you give everything you have in that kiss and hold yourself in her arms.
She seems to like it and one of her hands lowers to your waist and pulls you for your bodies to touch. The hot feeling inside you makes you feel like it's the first time you've ever been touched by someone.
Your lips separate, but she doesn't let you go and looks at you.
"Did you understand now?"
Maybe you're crazy. Maybe it's your soldier instincts. But you're ready to do anything this woman asks you.
So, puzzled, you just nod your head to say yes.
"Good." - She smiles at you and grabs you by the thighs making you jump to her lap.
From one moment to the next you are carried to her room and during all that time your lips did not come off. It was also impossible when everything in her was honey, the taste of the mouth, the color of the eyes...
She closes the door by leaning you into it, with you still on her lap.
"Before anything else. You have to realize that this won't be a habit."
Well, it could be, but you didn't want to know about it now, if it was supposed to be only once then let it be now.
"There's no harm in that." - You hug her neck and kiss the woman in the most seductive way you can.
Ambessa likes that, the submission and acceptance you have right now, without losing your determination. It's a turn-on. She smiles in the middle of the kiss, but doesn't stop it. Instead she puts you on the floor, with you still clinging to her neck, but she takes the edge of your uniform sweater and starts pulling to take it off and you without hesitation put your arms up and leave it there, helping her.
"No bra? To fight?" - She really wasn't expecting that.
"They stick too much." - For some reason you're not ashamed, you're more proud of what's happening than anything else, you feel incredibly good about yourself, it's not just anyone who goes to Ambessa’s room to fuck. With her. You think.
"I respect that decision" - She smiles at you and kneels in front of you. Your surprised and try to make her get up, but she rejects your attempt to help her.
It's impressive, she's still incredibly big on her knees. Her face is directly in front of your breasts. You flow a little, you don't believe what's happening.
There is no hesitation in Ambessa when she starts sucking one of your nipples, while grabbing your other breast.
Immediately you feel amazing, you breathe deeply. With goosebumps all over your skin, it was impossible to get more excited, but maybe you even got.
She bites the sensitive place. You feel weak and can't take it anymore, you let out a moan.
Ambessa of course, appreciates that and starts delivering kisses all over your chest, as if your body was a temple in which she prays.
You take your hand to her hair, and almost caress the strands. It's surprising that she's not being very rude so far.
Until now...
She stops kissing you and gets up, starting to take off her shoes, which at this point were already making her uncomfortable.
"Go to the bed.” - It was an order.
You did it like that, she turns to you.
"Take off your clothes.” - One more order. It was strange to receive orders of this kind, but coming from her, there was nothing else to do but obey.
You did what she told you while looking into her eyes, however you didn't show yourself much, because you didn't know if she was impatient or not, when her gaze seemed to devour you on the other side of the room.
"Good girl.” - She says when you're done. The comment makes you happy. - "Now lie down on the bed and spread your legs wide.”
That moment was like being on the edge of a cliff: curiosity and desire call you to move forward, but shyness holds you, making your body feel tense, but still, the desire to overcome shame and do what you really want, and give her what she wants, is stronger. So, even with your heart beating a thousand, you move on and do as she asked you. You feel the cold hit you on the uncovered skin when you position yourself, your body shivering once again as she begins to approach the bed.
She positions herself between your legs and takes off her own shirt, then the bra that held her breasts. After that she puts both hands on each side of your head and you realize that she is giving you an opportunity to touch her and explore what is in front of you. Immediately you affectionately touch the scars that pass through her chest. She seems to melt with that touch and caresses your hair.
After that you touch her breasts, your care makes her laugh a little.
"Do you think I'm made of porcelain, doll?"
You wanted to answer yes, that what you had in front of you was too precious not to be careful with, but you realized that she was just provoking you.
"You're very beautiful" - You simply said the most honest thing that went through your head.
She seems to be almost shy about it, the compliment moved her somehow.
"I know.”
Soon after she says that, she comes down on you and starts distributing kisses down your thighs. You can't do anything else but close your eyes and appreciate all the sensations it brought you.
She began to kiss the inside of your thighs and climb dangerously slowly, you already knew what was coming so you held her hand that was still hovering on the soft sheets of the bed, since the other helped in the caresses.
After a while, the kisses and the licking passed near your vulva, circled it. You couldn't stand that slow speed, it made the heat between your legs unbearable.
"My lady..." - You sighed so low that she didn't even hear it, you didn't know if you should call her that. - "Ambessa." - This time louder.
She stopped - "I know you're impatient, but you have to enjoy the moment, doll.”
"The moment is being very long, I want you in me. Now." - It sounded even quite sturdy for someone who is begging for her own boss to fuck her.
Ambessa smiled when she heard that and without taking her eyes off you licked your core from the bottom up, very slowly, dragging all your wetness with her tongue.
That alone gets a moan out of your mouth.
"Oh my..."
For Ambessa this is like asking for more.
She wet her mouth and then slowly began to insert her tongue and move it up and down. It made you go crazy. You didn't care at all, you just moaned as much as you needed. She loved it. You were careless in the right moments.
She increased the length of her tongue to go into you slowly and continue the circles inside you for a while.
She felt your juices and just swallowed them without stopping the motion, tasting you as if you were a candy.
Right when you thought you were going to cum that way, she just brought in a thumb and started to slowly touch your clit, circling around it gently while her tongue was working inside of you.
After a while like this, you thought you were going to reach your climax, you even used the hand that wasn't in her hair to stimulate your own nipple, but when she realized this she stopped, restarting your orgasm to move her tongue up, bringing one of her fingers into your entrance.
But suddenly she changes her mind and maturely decides to insert two fingers in tou.
You gasped, not expecting that much of a stretch on you, but the feeling of burning was so good you moaned in pleasure.
When she realized that you liked it, she continued and moved in and out while sucking your clit, going faster as you became closer to cum.
You were moaning loud and the sensation was so intense that while shaking you were squeezing your legs with her head in the middle.
You released yourself in her, she felt a hot sticky load on her fingers and didn't stop.
You were stimulated far beyond orgasm, which made you scream a little and try to pull her head up by the hair but she, with her brute force, kept herself in the middle of your legs and made you come again soon after, as if by magic.
It had never happened to you before. You're breathing heavily and you look at her completely defeated, with your eyelids heavy from all the effort you made today. She withdraws from your thighs and puts herself on top of you again, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.
"You did amazingly well, doll"
"M-me?" - You try to speak between sighs - "I think...you're the one who di...did"
She shut you up with a kiss.
"I think you are now my favorite soldier, Y/n" - She told you but you were already seeing stars of so much tiredness, so you just smiled. She noticed that.
"Come here" - She picks you up and puts you in her bed, a very affectionate act, you weren't expecting that.
She covers you with her silk sheets and enters the other side of the bed grabbing you in a careful hug, in which your head rested on her chest.
"And you?" - You hug her waist. For some reason, in the middle of your sleeping and after sex haze, you feel that you are failing her by not making her feel pleasure back.
"I'm fine..." - She says and then brings her mouth closer to your ear and you can feel the warm air of her velvety voice. - "Hearing you like that was enough for me."
And that's how you went into a deep sleep, which you no longer remembered it was possible to have. Of course, it had to be this woman bringing it to you.
#ambessa medarda#ambessa x reader#arcane ambessa#ambessa league of legends#ambessa smut#ambessa x you#lol#league of legends#arcane
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Hi!! I really love your homicipher content!! Could I ask you for Mr Machete headcanons in a relationship?
This man needs love please, I can't find any of it anywhere!!! 😩 And by the way, you write very beautifully! Never stop :D!
If your requests are already closed you can ignore this. Thank you and have a nice day!
⊱ Being in a Relationship with Him ⊰ || Mr. Machete Headcanons
╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮ Character(s): Mr. Machete (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Spoilers for Homicipher (specifically Mr. Machete’s Route), Canon-typical Mentions of Violence (and horror-elements), Cultural Barriers (Mr. Machete Doesn’t Fully Comprehend Certain Emotions/Expresses Them Differently Than a Human Would – He Also Will Fight You™ Which Is Obviously Not Healhy IRL), Brief Mention of Blood Consumption. Genre: Headcanons, Fluff(?), Romantic Relationship (It’s Complicated, honestly). Word Count: ~1,100 words. Request: “Hi!! I really love your homicipher content!! Could I ask you for Mr Machete headcanons in a relationship?” Author’s Note: Of course, and thank you for your kind words! While Mr. Machete isn’t one of my top picks, I can certainly see his appeal. Plus, if I’m being 100% honest with everyone, he’s actually really fun to write for (which I was not expecting at all when I started writing for this fandom). This type of character usually isn’t my favorite, but I’m starting to understand the Mr. Machete fans the more I write for him… 😳 I kind of focused on the traits that Mr. Machete would look for in a partner, and what being in a relationship with him would be like. Of course, I do my best to stay as canon-compliant as possible, which means that this is not a cute list of sweet/fluffy headcanons, so just be warned (there’s nothing too horrible or crazy, just… don’t date anyone who would spear you with a huge sword irl haha). Anyway, I hope you enjoy! I had a really fun time thinking about/writing this one.
→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated! ♡
╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯
🔪: Honestly, being in a relationship with Mr. Machete can be challenging sometimes or simply impossible, especially if you’re expecting him to be a perfect gentleman who treats you like a delicate flower (spoiler alert: he won’t and he never will). He’s a rough and rugged resident of the other world, someone who is constantly on the search for exhilaration – he’s looking for someone who will give him a challenge in battle and someone who will bring stimulation into his existence that he has increasingly grown bored with. If you cannot do either, then he wants nothing to do with you. He has no problem driving his sword into your back if you do not bring him any sense of excitement and overstay your welcome.
🔪: To first catch the attention of someone like Mr. Machete, you need to be strong. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean physical strength (even though that certainly is a bonus and he would prefer someone who is bigger or someone who is physically the same size as he is), but being strong can also be mental fortitude – someone who doesn’t let their mind and emotions take control of their life. He’s not an emotionally available type of person, not seeing the point in discussing emotions or lingering on past mistakes or sorrows, instead choosing to express himself in the only way he knows how to – violence. If there’s any stirring within him, feelings he cannot put a label on, he gets his frustrations and confusion out by slaughtering others or dueling with someone who he feels can stand toe-to-toe with him. So, if you’re in a relationship with him, you have to be okay with battling him and accepting the possibility of being injured (or even dying) as a result. It's kind of his go-to way of communicating things he cannot find the words for.
🔪: He also wants a partner he doesn’t need to babysit or look after, someone who can take care of and protect themselves if danger were to arise. He wants an equal, not someone who is fully dependent on him for physical security or emotional support. He wants someone who he can rely on and who he knows will watch his back. Mr. Machete doesn’t mind someone simply following him around (even if he’ll constantly ask you why you’re doing that despite the fact he does find it somewhat annoying) but, if you’re planning on staying with him for the long term, he prefers someone who can pull their own weight, especially so in a fight.
🔪: If you manage to meet his standards and earn his respect in either physical or verbal battles, congratulations! You now have yourself an emotionally unavailable partner who loves violence and is constantly looking for excitement to fill the aching void inside his chest! He’ll frequently do things in your relationship that go against what you tell him (the primary example being when he just threw the MC across the chasm despite her yelling for him to stop), and he doesn’t understand why it makes you upset, especially since everything usually works out in the end. He doesn’t pick up on context clues either so if you need him to do something specific, you’ll need to tell him that since he doesn’t read between the lines. If you try and explain it to him, though, there’s about a 50/50 chance he’s actually listening to what you’re saying – it depends on his mood.
🔪: However, after the two of you spend more time together, he does find himself (albeit begrudgingly) enjoying your company. He’s always traveled alone, looking for a home he cannot remember yet a deep part of him longs for. He’s never been one to have companions or appreciate another's company… yet here you were – still following him around despite everything, and he actually found himself liking it (maybe, just maybe, you could find a home in one another).
🔪: He would need a partner who was quick-witted and not afraid to bite back at his complaints with snide or snippy remarks. Mr. Machete finds bantering with you surprisingly enjoyable, and he often tries to guess what you’ll say to him before you even have the chance to think of a good comeback. You can tell when his feelings start shifting a bit, too, finding that he criticizes your weapon and stature less frequently and instead praises you on things you do well, such as your improvements in battle (even though he’ll still remark that you move too slow). That’s fine, though – he doesn’t mind training with you more to give you an opportunity to enhance your skills.
🔪: Mr. Machete will never really be soft with you no matter how much time passes, and that’s just something you’ll have to accept if you want to be in a relationship with him. Once you have won him over, though, he will stick by your side through thick and thin, and he finds himself fleeing from battles less often, almost as if he’s trying to impress you (however, if both of you do need to flee, he’ll fling you over his shoulder and leave while carrying you instead of leaving you behind in the dust, so that’s an improvement at least). He’ll also keep you healthy, willingly cutting open his palm without you asking him to do so, placing it above your mouth while his blood trickles down your throat – he’ll give you as much of his blood as you need if it means getting your body to work again. He doesn’t want you to be weak, so he’ll help you stay strong.
🔪: Not big on most typical ways of displaying affection, instead finding the best way to show you his respect and endearment by challenging you to duels. It’s almost like a dance between the two of you, an opportunity to see how much the other has improved while the sound of your weapons clashing echoes through the concrete corridors of the other world in a haunting song of bloodlust and complicated feelings of love. After battle, though, sometimes he’ll just… hold you. It feels surprisingly normal – you sitting in his lap, head resting against his chest while you close your eyes and catch your breath, and his arm flung around your shoulder while he holds you close. The moments when you two aren’t searching for your home or fighting something (or each other) are rare and eerily calm, yet they’re also relaxing and bring you both a sense of peace in each other's presence. Mr. Machete doesn’t find these brief instances boring, either, even though he knows he should detest them... he doesn't mind sharing the occasional moment of quiet with you.
#🌸 . plum writes#homicipher#文字化化#homicipher x reader#homicipher x you#mr machete#mr machete x reader#mr machete x you#homicipher imagines#homicipher headcanons#imagines#headcanons#fluff#x reader#reader insert
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I just finished your recently completed DP fic and I LOVED it!!!!! I also caught up on the DPxDC crossover and love that too! I’m not in the DP or DC fandoms, but your fics were so amazing, do you have any fic recommendations? I don’t even know where to start looking, I know nothing about either fandom.
Thank you, I'm really glad you like them!! I always recommend first looking at the bookmarks of your favorite authors. Usually they'll read a lot of the same stuff they write, so it's a good way to find fics to your taste! I have about 400 DP fics bookmarked, but here's the highlights-
(Cut for length, there are so many, my impulse control is nil)
DP
Wake Me Up to Say Goodbye - A gradual Jack-centric reveal fic. Jack's genuine love for his family shines through so well here.
broken trust and the wounds hidden behind - This fic is particularly dear to me. Jack finds out about Danny without Danny realizing and starts working to make things right.
Prove That You Deserve the Answer - Jazz/Maddie bodyswap fic. One of my favorite reveals.
Dinner and Diatribes - Vlad traps Danny and Maddie in an underground bunker to play house. This one is, uh, a lot of the inspo for the Fentons' dehumanization of Phantom. But it has a happy ending.
How to Raise the Dead - Very short, sweet fic that isn't exactly post-reveal, but Jack and Maddie know anyway.
Now's The Time (Get In Line) - A fun reveal fic where the GIW raid Casper High for Phantom. The central battle scene in this lives rent-free in my mind.
definition of insanity (is doing the same thing) - Dash Baxter redemption, seriously confronts Dash's bullying.
A Play to Remember - The most interesting and complex A-listers reveal I've ever read.
That Razor's Edge - Halfa!Valerie. So wonderfully done. <3
Ghost on the Couch - Maddie makes Danny go to therapy. While they never quite get around to talking about most of the events of the series (rip) it's still a brilliant showcase of Danny's psychology and emotional turmoil.
DPxDC
If You Give a Bat a Burger - Obligatory, the quintessential DPxDC fic. Plot driven and engaging, and you'll see a certain reference to it in most other DPxDC fics lmao.
Vacation Crashers - Another staple. Plot-driven, but it has one of my favorite Bruce characterizations of any DPxDC fic. (It also inspired a lot of the Fentons' more... neglectful behavior in my fics.)
those who serve. - Can't pass this one up. Danny becomes Alfred's apprentice. Alfred is very concerned.
Wanted: Dead And Alive - Dead Tired. Everyone is scrambling to figure out who the hell Danny is, very fun without sacrificing feeling.
Some Kind of Miraculous Bind - A Demon Twins fic. Damian is very sweet here. <3
But I Want to Be Let In, Not Out - Probably my favorite Demon Twins iteration. Damian just wants to see his brother again, okay?
The Bat Trap - One last Demon Twins fic for good measure. This one plays with its premise so well and integrates the two worlds wonderfully.
Like and Survive - Phantom's Guide to Young Hero Survival - Fix-it field trip through the DCU. You don't know a lot about the DCU? You're about to find out. Very thorough and thoughtful.
Ghosts, Legacies, and CPS - Danny is removed from the Fentons' custody. Danny is inserted into Tim's custody. Vlad does something stupid. Beautifully done and very satisfying.
what dumb luck or good ghost led you from there to here? - Danny and Barbara, where Danny settles in the Clocktower and Babs coaxes him closer like a stray cat.
I Am A Retired Hero And My Love Interest Is A Former Crime Lord? - Dead on Main, obviously. Probably the fic that made me fall in love with this pairing, with a lot of excellent background and foreground plots. Jack and Maddie chase Skulker around to ask him questions about ghost culture. He complains to Danny about it. It's great.
What Binds Us - Such excellent worldbuilding around Crime Alley and Gotham in general. I loves it. <3 (This one by @breannasfluff)
Like Betta Fish Do - Dead on Main, both sweet and very fun. I love @clockwayswrites' characterizations and this particular fic handles their developing relationship super well. On that topic-
One Stop Soup Shop - My feelings,,,, tooth-rotting Dead on Main fluff.
Birdritch - Spirit Halloween, so much fluff between Danny and the Batfamily.
A Broken Sort of Normal - OOF. So many feelings?? Danny/Wally, with so much good angst.
(I can't keep going down the list, just take a run through PaperPuffin's profile, you won't regret it. <3)
I would also suggest following @nerdpoe, @stars-obsession-pit, and @sheepheadfred; they all have good taste in tumblr snippets!
Have fun!
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Merchandise Blues! Aika and Zira Go to the Zoo!
Fandom: Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl
Rating: Gen
Words: 2k
Summary: There's a new line of Star Guardian merch out! Zira loves it. Aika is conflicted.
Based off of @kianamaiart's amazing universe and @ok-pop-1's incredible art! The concept behind it was just so fun!
Aika slid further down into her seat as yet another yellow Star Bag came into sight. Hoshi smirked, but Zira wasn’t concerned with them.
“You okay?” She asked her crush friend, nudging the smaller girl gently.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Aika replied, pulling herself up straighter and trying to smile like she wasn’t bothered. “I just forgot the new merch line was out this week, that’s all. It’s just… just a lot. Of blue. And yellow. Very yellow.”
“... You do know you are also wearing blue and yellow, right?” Zira asked, unable to stop the question. Aika’s face twisted back into a pout and she sulked back down into her seat.
“They were my favourite colours first!” She insisted, then hissed in a softer voice, “That’s why she wears them, not the other way around.”
“True!” Hoshi piped up from beside them. “I don’t really care what colours Aika wears. Both my colour and the uniform match her preferences, since it helps human confidence so much to feel like you look good.” They went back to comparing hoodies with an over-excited kindergartener then, entirely ignoring the girls once again.
Aika shook her head while Zira giggled, as amused as always at how the two mirrored each others’ disinterest and disillusionment in perfectly inverted symmetry.
Aika glanced around the train car again, and her face fell when she saw one group that ramped the whole merch thing up to 11. The parents were… mostly normal. They both had the new hoodies, he had a bag and she was wearing Star Wand print leggings, but the kids…
The baby was actually really cute, dressed like a little star with the hood up. Wings longer than the kid themself hung down from the carrier the mom had them in and the little blue baby shoes matched the whole thing perfectly, even though they obviously weren't part of the official line.
The elementary schooler, on the other hand… Zira probably thinks she’s cute. Aika thought, scowling unconsciously at a little redhead wearing a replica of her uniform, right down to the (NON-platform, at least they were sensible there) boots. Her hair was up in two little ponytails held in place with ties that had satin stars on them, and she was clutching a Star Guardian doll with one arm and her dad’s hand with the other. She was gazing around in wonder at all the other people wearing the same colours before she spotted Aika and her eyes went wide.
“MOMMY SHE HAS STAR PIGTAILS TOO!!” The kid shrieked, both parents immediately shushing her. “I’m so sorry,” Her father told the people around them, “Katie shush. You’ll wake the baby and you’re bothering others.” Her mom hissed. Her face twisted at the rebuke, and in only a blink she’d slipped her father’s hold and was right up in Aika’s face.
“Ummm… Hi?” Aika tried, not quite certain what had just happened here.
“You love Star Guardian too.” The kid insisted, reaching towards Aika’s hair but stopping just short. “Mommy can’t get the buns right, so Daddy bought me the bows. Did your Mommy do these for you?”
Aika blinked at her while her father rushed up to them, apologizing before he even got there. “Ah, no? I do them myself.”
“STAR GUARDIAN IS THE BEST!” The kid shrieked again, just as her father scooped her up. One hand wrapped around her to cover her mouth as he hushed her.
“Katie, no. We’ve talked about this, you can’t be yelling inside like that. You know better. It’s really rude, as is getting in this nice young lady’s face like that.” He turned towards Aika himself as his kid quieted down to sulk. “I’m really sorry about that. She’s usually not like this, but her grandmother just bought her the dress and now she’s a bit overwrought and is having a hard time calming down. I’m sorry she went to touch you as well. I promise she usually does know better.”
“It’s alright.” Aika replied, not quite certain what else to say. Zira smirked a bit next to her, noticing an opportunity to tease her friend a little.
“She’s quite the fan, isn’t she? And Star Guardian is her favourite?” The girl perked up at this, though she kept her voice to a reasonable level when she responded.
“She saves people.” The wonder in her voice was so awestruck it even made Zira a little uncomfortable, knowing that she knew something the girl didn’t. She snuck a glance at Aika, who was now having an even harder time pretending she didn’t want to snap at the kid just a little.
“That is what she does.” Hoshi broke in distractedly, now looking out the window. “It’s what she’s here for.”
Aika’s face fell at that in a way that made the man’s brow furrow in concern. The little girl didn’t notice.
“She saved us.” She continued, clutching her doll with hero-worship clear on her face. “I gave her a flower and she thanked me for it. Grandma’s teaching me to grow buttercups so next time I can give her one I grew just for her, rather than one I picked in the park.”
“... A buttercup?” Aika asked, her defensiveness dropping from her even as her eyebrows drew together. “You gave her a buttercup?”
The little girl buried her face in her father’s shoulder, suddenly shy, so it was him that nodded. “She did. There was a fight at the park and my wife couldn’t move very quickly because she was pregnant. Star Guardian got us out safely, and Katie gave her a buttercup she had picked just before it all went pear-shaped. It made an impression on us, as I’m sure you can see.” He gestured to himself then, and both Aika and Zira joined in with his little chuckle. He headed back to the rest of his family then, and Katie waved at them over his shoulder. Aika waved back, a soft grin on her face.
“Star Guardian made quite an impression on them.” Zira commented, trying to gauge Aika’s mood after that run-in.
Aika’s face fell, and Zira winced. “She does that.” There was a hollowness to Aika’s voice that Zira wasn’t used to hearing and wasn’t sure how to handle.
“I remember you putting that buttercup in a vase when you got home.” Hoshi commented, obviously trying to cajole the young girl back into a better mood. It didn’t work, as the smile Aika gave them was brittle around the edges and so obviously forced.
“I remember how much trouble I got in for breaking formation to help them.” She replied mildly. “No one would talk about anything else for weeks. It was all, “How could you be so unprofessional, Aika? Don’t you ever think of anyone but yourself? You’re so unreliable Aika. We can’t trust your judgement. How are you always late?” Eventually everyone seemed to get bored of it, but it would still come up every now and then when I was ‘underperforming’.” She put the air quotes around the word, but even if she hadn’t her tone would have conveyed them anyway. Hoshi winced.
“Yeah, that was… not my best showing. I messed that up pretty bad.” Their voice was rough in a way that in a human would probably have meant they were fighting back tears but Hoshi… wasn’t. There wasn’t a human equivalent to the tone of it. It reminded Zira of grief.
“How?” She questioned, unable to help herself even though she could tell that neither of them really wanted to talk about it. “What happened with that fight?”
Hoshi squirmed a bit, but did answer. “One of the other girls took a bad hit that probably wouldn’t have happened if Star Guardian was there. It all… Got a little personal. After. And I… Didn’t shut that down. I should have. I should have made it clear that they didn’t have the authority to question Aika’s judgement or dedication. And I should have trusted in them myself.”
Aika was leaning forward now to look at Hoshi around Zira, and it was clear on her face that they had never discussed this since. She obviously didn’t know Hoshi regretted it. “So why didn’t you?” She demanded, causing Hoshi to slink back defensively into their hoodie.
“Mainly because I just really didn’t understand humans.” They replied, obviously trying to keep their defensiveness out of their tone. “I’d never worked with any before, and this was fairly early on in your career. Usually a Guardian team needs to work together to defeat a monster. I was… trying to encourage you to think of your team first, because I assumed that without them you couldn’t win and more people would be in danger. Most species are not as… creative as humans, and even other humans aren’t as creative as you, Aika.” Aika blushed at that, obviously pleased with the praise. “I thought your apparent willingness to abandon your teammates was a show of weakness and disharmony, rather than of trust. And… I think the other girls followed my lead on that.”
Aika blinked at them. “There is never a world where I will abandon a family that has no way to protect themselves for the sake of a group that should have the ability to fight on their own. Also it’s really messed up that you expect a kid to make that choice. I was still in elementary school.”
Hoshi nodded. “Yeah, I also… Don’t really have a frame of reference for just how young you were when you started. I wasn’t expecting that. So since neither the Star Shard or humanity come with an instruction manual, I had to just figure it out on the fly. That time I guessed wrong, but it took over a year for me to know that. By that time it was too late to fix.”
There was a very uncomfortable silence radiating from both sides of her that made Zira shiver from a purely emotional cold. Then a thought came, and she broke it in as awkward a way as she ever did. “You should join the leadership club.”
They both turned to her, blinking in bemusement. “The leadership club?” Aika repeated in bewilderment.
“Yeah!” She replied, just going with it now that they weren’t so upset. “You said humans don’t come with an instruction manual, but there are still things you can do and learn to make it easier to work with us! I don’t think you can take any actual management courses, those are usually adult things, but leadership would be a good start!”
Aika laughed at that. “That's a great idea! And since we joined the book club, Hoshi’s gonna be on their own for it. Sounds like fun.”
The star in question sulked back into their seat. “I don’t wanna miss book club!” They insisted. “That kid with the hair gets all uppity when I’m not there to refute their nonsense, and besides! I’ve already read the book!”
Zira blinked at them. “That book was decided on yesterday,” she stressed. “How have you already read it?”
“Hoshi doesn’t need to sleep as much as we do.” Aika replied, getting to her feet just as the announcement came on. “Come on, this is our stop! I can’t wait to see the penguins!” Her face lit up with glee as the train rocked to a stop, and she was gone the moment the doors opened. Zira found themself grinning as well, their previous mood restored. Aika had that effect on people.
#aika idwtbamg#idwtbamg fanfic#hoshi#zira#still just vibe based#can't wait for the pilot!#so characters may end up being OOC#we'll see#my own interpretation on how things got to where they are
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April 2025 CPNs round-up ❤️💛💚
the start of the month was actually quite eventful, celebrating april fools with the best clowns in chinese domestic entertainment. lol. it started with a double fake rumor which was bits of old rumors pieced together. then as usual for this day, fansite team building happens. meaning, fs for specific celebrities will post about other people. so we supported ones that posted about our boys. a good summary of those are here and there is a good number. whether that’s bjyx or them as individual.

that led to bojunyixiao being on top of the hot search list. this is so fitting for april fools! knowing how much we clown! lol. but seriously, it’s so nice to see how active the fandom still is. the whole fandom has been summoned by the photos shared. there is really nothing new — but we all got excited. that’s how great cpfs are! so sorry ( not really ) to our haters cause we are not going away anytime soon. 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻
okay, now let’s go to the actual cpns we enjoyed this month! ⬇️⬇️⬇️
• there is a repo from a kid yibo worked with for the bananain shoot. he mentioned that wyb does not smile much, but he does when he looks at his wechat. lol. so we gotta clown all the times you can him smiling down while looking at his phone, probably talking to xz.
• the very lucky ones who already got their WM vinyl noticed how the design is written looks like an 8 and 3. that’s them. Bo and Zhan. 🥹🥹🥹🥹 we know how XZ likes to hide things in plain sight when it comes to his art. so this is a classic example.

• this comparison! they are twins! i wish they could have had this kind of hair at the same time.

• croissant in lacoste ad ���🥐🥐
• At the time of writing, GG has not been officially announced to be a part of this rumored drama. @rainbowsky made a really good primer for it over here so you can go ahead and look. but it’s basically screaming the same timeline as yibo’s war of faith. lol. so of course, whoever this character is will be wei ruolai’s husband in the yizhan multiverse! i’m looking forward to it! 🙌🏼
• video “proof” in zhuhai race last year where someone mentions zhan ge + the plot thickens that xz was actually there that time
• this went on HS 4/13 for some reason. there may be some context that i missed lol. but tbh, who cares. they are both successful in their own way in the age they are in. there is no “catching up” to do because they are in different tracks. 💛💛💛

i personally get defensive when it comes to their careers and achievements, i hate tying them up in that aspect. or wanting both to have the same exact things. it does not work that way. i believe in supporting what they do and i accept the fact that sometimes one has more than the other in certain aspects and how that’s okay. i could write up a whole thing on this topic and my thoughts on it but i don’t think the fandom is ready that for that conversation. lol.
• WMWM clothing brand x WM album - another example of the universe conspiring to give them some obscure connection.
• THIS. We are so blessed to have them in Magazine Issues that show their long hair 😍😍😍
how can you not love them both? talented and beautiful creatures!


• WYB’s May Vogue 2025 issue candies
• there is some buzz around xz being spotted passing by Wuhan and him going home immediately. of course we think it’s because Bobo is in Beijing. So he has to be with him 🤡🤡🤡
• our boys greeting sina for their 25th anniversary 🫶🏼
• On 4/20 xz was spotted attending a concert in Beijing with his parents. the “empty” space there is being filled with WYB by us clowns. lol. we don’t have facts but more of wishful thinking since they are both in Beijing. personally, i think people WYB is there because of how happy XZ is. not saying he cannot be happy without WYB, it’s just that there is something more of it’s related to WYB. 🤡🤡🤡

• revisiting an old rumor of them having a skiing show together
• XZ arrives in Shanghai while WYB is there for a race and the next day WYB goes MIA and can only be seen during practice - finally, a timeline of sorts and cpn interpretation of what happened during the weekend✌🏼 on 0428, both Lele and Dabo were seen by chance and people are saying their staff seem to be on holiday. so maybe that’s because the two lovebirds are chillin at home in Beijing. yes please! or maybe they gave their staff some time off after a busy weekend 😋
• WYB is interested in Vinyl record
• WYB saying an expression that is common in Sichuan/Chongqing
see you next month! 🫶🏼💕
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When They Know They're In Love ~ Frostheim Edition
I will be doing the other houses and will link them here once they're posted. I hope you like this and if you did, please feel free to send in requests for what you'd like to see.
Fandom: Tokyo Debunker
Characters: Jin Kamurai, Thoma Ishibashi, Lucas Errant, Kaito Fuji x gn! Reader
Frostheim | Vagastrom | Jabberwock | Sinostra | Hotarubi | Obscuary | Mortkranken
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How do the characters know they're in love and what will they do when they realise?
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Jin is not exactly the most in touch with his emotions. He knows he feels something around you. Does he think it’s some weird side effect of your ability or him using his stigma after so long? Absolutely.
It will take him a long time to figure out that what he’s feeling is actually love but when he does, it’s when you’ve finally snapped at his treatment of you.
You’re tired of being treated like a servant and you’re letting him have a piece of your mind.
And suddenly, his chest is tightening, and he’s got butterflies, and he realises just how beautiful you are. How did he never notice this before?
It might take him a while longer to accept his feelings and pursue you properly but when he does, expect to be swept off your feet by the effort he puts in to making you feel just as strongly about him.

Thoma is a lot more observant than Jin. He’ll recognise his feelings almost straight away when he sees how hard you’re working both to get to know the ghouls and to break your curse.
He’s found a kindred spirit in your hard-working attitude. But he won’t act on those feelings for a while.
He’s busy with his own work and, if he’s being honest, he doesn’t think he could handle getting into a relationship with you, only for your curse to take you from him a year later.
I think it would take a life-or-death situation for him to confess. Something where he nearly looses you before the year is up and he realises he has to tell you how he feels before you’re gone.
Whether a relationship blooms from that is up to the two of you but Thoma’s a practical guy. Whatever you’re decision, he’ll make it work somehow.

Luca is an interesting case. I feel like he’s aware of his feelings about certain things but not others. Love is one of those things he’s not super aware of.
He knows how he feels about close family like his brother. But you? He just doesn’t register his feelings towards you as romantic at first.
He finally puts it together when he sees you asleep in the library, a book open in front of you with information relating to his brother’s situation.
The rush of affection he feels towards you in that moment is so strong, even Luca can’t misunderstand it as anything else. Now he just has to confess.
He won’t drag it out and will likely pull you aside next time he sees you. He’ll be perfectly gentlemanly and explain his feelings, as well as letting you know that any decision you make, he will accept.

Kaito is certainly in touch with his emotions, but I don’t think he would realise the depth of his feelings for a long time.
If you’re female presenting, he would just assume what he’s feeling for you is his usual affection towards women. If you’re male presenting, he’ll just assume you’re a really great friend.
He realises he’s in love with you when he gets a message from another person and realises the sinking feeling in his stomach isn’t a normal reaction.
Honestly, I feel like Kaito will be a bit freaked out by his feelings to start with. He’s not used to really caring about people and he’s not entirely sure where to start.
Once he does come to terms with his feelings and realises he wants to be with you as more than just a friend, he’ll do his best to up his game so you fall for him the same way he fell for you.
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Hey, did you enjoy this? If you like my writing, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page! This will allow me to make some money off my writing, something I enjoy doing.
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#writing#fanfic#headcanon#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker x reader#jin kamurai#jin kamurai x reader#thoma ishibashi#thoma ishibashi x reader#lucas errant#lucas errant x reader#kaito fuji#kaito fuji x reader
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i mean this respectfully, but every time the diaboys get mentioned as being rapists and abusers i’ve noticed the very first thing you point out is “oh but yui is one too.” and while it’s true that yui isn’t any better than them at the end of the day, it doesn’t mean that we should dismiss that the diaboys are abusers to their core by immediately bringing up yui. there’s nothing wrong with simply acknowledging that they rape and abuse. at the same time, doing so doesn’t mean we’re ignoring yui’s faults. i mean ofc there’s going to be those ignorant fans that think yui is this perfect angel but those of us that truly understand the game know that she’s just as corrupted, there’s no ignoring that. but i’ve just noticed that whenever someone has a valid critique of how horrible the diaboys are your usual response is to bring up yui which kind of makes it look like you’re downplaying the diaboys’ abuse imo. however if that isn’t your intention then pls feel free to clear that up. you’re one of my favorite blogs on here but i hope you get my point
// I mean I get you, but I only react like that when people are dragging the Diaboys down only to make Yui appear better. I reacted to this post:

By saying things like that, they not only diminish Yui’s character, but also come off as if they’re morally superior simply because they don’t stan characters like the Diaboys. But the truth is, they actually do. Even outside of the bad endings, Yui is often seen crossing boundaries, objectifying people, or making situations worse. She sometimes becomes an abuser not due to trauma, but because she lets her obsession, jealousy and possessiveness get the worst of her.
What’s frustrating is how people will insist others ar "misogynistic" or "problematic" for criticizing a female character, as if disliking her is the same as denying her trauma. But that’s a false equivalency. You can fully acknowledge what a character has been through and recognize that they’ve made harmful or cruel choices. That’s true of Yui, and it’s just as true of characters like Cordelia, Christa, Beatrix, or the Diaboys. And some of them are still victims in various routes, but we don’t grant them the same immunity and we don’t treat their trauma as a shield from critique. That’s where the hypocrisy shows. If you’re quick to criticize or hate on a character for certain actions or traits, but then turn around and ignore, excuse or even praise your favorite character for doing the very same thing, it’s definitely time to pause and reflect.
Honestly, it seems like the fandom these days is obsessed with deciding which character is the ‘better person,’ but the whole series really highlights how everyone has both light and dark side. So my issue with these Yui stans is that they just token-stan, without knowing anything about her, and try to make the Diaboys stans feel ashamed for liking the type of characters they do, and that’s really wrong.
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Veets
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pairing: Vox x Chocolatier!Overlord!Reader
Type: Headcanons
Featuring: Alastor, Carmilla, Velvette, Valentino
In which Vox got the Vee’s a collaboration with hells greatest chocolatier.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ For a guy who likes his coffee black, he surprisingly liked to enjoy the occasional sweets every now and then.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ His go-to was a chocolate bar from (Company name). He enjoyed the chocolate treat so much he actually had his team reach out to the company for a possible deal of some kind-just so Vox can have a jar of that chocolate he really likes sitting on his desk when he does his nightly talk show. Something to snack on in between commercial breaks.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Lmao yeah the company said ‘no’. May or may not have bruised Vox’s ego. His company is VoxTek! That’s like the largest television and tech company in all of Pride! A chance to feature your products on his show? Wasted opportunity if you ask him.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Despite the initial frustration with the lack of legal approval to feature (company name)’s on the show, Vox didn’t let it get to him that much. I mean, it’s just chocolate. This is different from a brand deal of some sorts. If he were to work with that bitch Carmila Carmine, that would be different. Besides, Vox stills keeps a chocolate bar or two under his desk or next to him where the cameras won’t catch any sight of it. He can just snack when theirs commercial break. No big deal.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Besides, making a deal with them would probably mean promoting their general business and other products, rather than the chocolate bar-which is like the only thing he cares about.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Ah yes, another extermination. Another meeting with the other Overlords. Vox hated going to these meetings. But alas, Valentino always flat out refused to go, and he can really only rely on Velvette going to represent the Vee’s if she was in a particularly good mood or Vox absolutely could not go for whatever reason.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ While Vox sat in his chair, he could feel certain waves in the air crack and go staticky-Alastor. Vox internationally groaned. Great. Every since that bambi fucker came back, they’d start seeing each other at these meetings again.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Alastor sounded like he was in conversation with someone. Not that Vox cared, but he noted that Zestial and Rosie were already present in the room so whomever Alastor was chatting to did peak Vox’s interests somewhat. Good lord is this man obsessed with the old radio man.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Then the door pushed open and in came Alastor, the creepy smiling fuck, with someone lovely next to him.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ The fuck?
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Was this a new overlord? No, no. Vox would have for sure heard about them. You don’t become an overlord without making a name for yourself after all.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Vox gave the duo a puzzled look as they sat next to each other, right next to Rosie.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ “(Y/n). It’s so good to see you after so long, old friend.” Carmilla Carmine greeted you.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ As Vox would come to find out in this meeting, turns out you had been an overlord for quite some time. How he never seen you at these meetings, never even heard of you, and never heard anyone mention you was baffling to him to say the least.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ It wasn’t until after the meeting when Vox would approach you. He put on his charming facade, an act he’s used to slipping in and out of for whenever the occasion calls for it, and held out a clawed hand.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Your name is what again? Oh you’re usually too busy running your company so you never make the meetings? Oh well, he runs a company too! VoxTek, you heard of them? Uh huh yeah what company do you run?
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ -MOTHERFUCKING (COMPANY NAME)?!?!?
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ His screen may or may not have glitched at this new information. He also may or may have not asked for your personal number-for business!
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Despite you both having busy schedules, he still likes finding time to hang out with you on perhaps a phone call or video call-whatever you’re comfortable with. He admits to himself that you’re not only quite a lovely sight but a delight as well.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He’d keep tabs on your company. You, yourself was quite difficult. Because much to Vox’s pure annoyance, your company doesn’t use VoxTek appliances. Meaning he can’t hack shit and spy on you! God damnit!
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Cue Vox unwrapping his favourite chocolate bar and eating it angrily as he looks through the very few pictures he’s found of you online.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Curse you. Your company rejected his offer. You hid yourself so well from him unintentionally. You were so hidden from the public that you were deemed untouchable. You HAD to be buddy buddy with Alastor. And you HAD to be fucking attractive! “Fuck you!” Vox threw the half eaten bar at a screen with your face on it. He didn’t mean it though.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He would never ever admit this to anyone but like a week later he spent 30 minutes walking in circles around the Vee’s lounge area. May or may not have been hyping himself up to call you. May or may have not noticed Valentino and Velvette walk in. And they may or may not think it’s hilarious that Vox is too nervous to fucking call you.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ “I’m not nervous.” Vox chuckles though Val and Vel immediately catching onto the obvious lie. One look at the slip of paper Vox was holding in his fingers, your number, and Velvette had already dialed it into his phone before handing it off to him.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ “Fuck you!” He flips a quick finger at her.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ With very little, reasonable, options Vox talks to you as confidently as he could. When you respond with questions why a sudden call to your personal number, he quickly mentions wanting to organize a business meeting with you; “For business…. Talk. Meeting… business… stuff.” He wants to slam his screen against a fucking rock. Valentino finds it fucking hilarious and pathetic. Velvette’s recording the whole thing on her phone-mumbling something about blackmail to Valentino.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ To his pleasure, you agree and before either of you know it, you’re sitting at his table in some oversized aquarium of a meeting room.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ “What did you want to discuss?” You don’t leave any room for small talk, wanting to get down to business.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Vox had spent the past few weeks putting together some pitches that could have you at least satisfied with the meeting. Truth be told, the meeting was an excuse to see you again-and in person. After going through some pitches, some of them his team came up with, he made a mental note to fire whoever made these pitches cuz my god did you not seem interested in any of them.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ At least with that out of the way, you could make have some time to just talk, right? Like the pitches, Vox spent some time thinking about what he’d even say to you in casual conversation. As well as played with the idea of asking you out. He knows he’s suave and all that but his own body betrayed him with glitches and little electrical shocks whenever he would overheat.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Growing a bit desperate, considering this is the first time he’s seen you in person since the overlord meeting MONTHS ago, he decided to shoot his shot. He knows he could play it off-even if his body betrays him he could always casually blame it on maybe a software update or something. Sure that’s a bit humiliating but it’s somewhat better, right?
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ “Valentines Day is next month.”
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Oh my god what the fuck was he doing
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ The way you simply look at him and silently urge him to continue has his fans picking up speed. They feel so loud in his head he’s almost certain you hear them too.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Just ask her. Just ask her. Just ask her-
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ “If you don’t have any plans, I’d like to propose ayyyyyy….” he trails off, suddenly getting cold feet, “ayyyyyy a collaboration! With the Vee’s!”
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ And that’s how the Vee’s got a popsicle deal. It released alongside your companies Valentine Chocolates, and other sweets and goods.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ At least getting on your good side, you allowed some of your products to be showcased on his talk show.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ oh and you accepted his offer to appear as a special guest on his show! Mainly to promote the ‘Veets’ treats though. He mentally celebrated the ratings this episode was gonna get. You hardly showed your face anywhere or even spoke to the public. This was kind of a big deal. You were the CEO of hells most beloved and largest chocolate factory after all.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ As the show went to commercial break, Vox turned to you to see you lick and slurp on the ‘Voxsicle.’
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ “Despite how short notice Veets was, I’m proud to say these came out marvellously well.” Vox barely hears those words come out of your mouth despite him looking at your, well, mouth.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Damn… that’s kinda hot though.
This came out sooooooo much longer than I intended too omg 😭
These are unrelated to the draft reveal post but this hit with like a truck and I couldn’t get the inspiration out of my head. Thanks for reading! Likes + Reblogs appreciated♥︎
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Jean Valjean's Canon Toxic Unhealthiness around Romantic Love
( alternate titles: “Does Jean Valjean is Gay?”, or “Does Jean Valjean is Asexual?” Or: “Why is it so difficult to slap an identity/sexuality label onto Jean Valjean?” Or “LGBTPTSD+”)
I was looking at the responses to this poll about whether people interpret Jean Valjean as gay/asexual/straight or something else….and it got me thinking again about Jean Valjean’s canonical intense, complex, awful, toxic, and overwrought emotions around identity/ romantic love. I want to talk about that for a bit because I think it often gets overlooked in fandom!
I've noticed that Les Mis fandom/analysis often tends to interpret Jean Valjean as being far more content, more "at peace with himself," and more "comfortable in his own skin" than he ever is within the novel. This is also a common change in adaptations. The musical's version of Jean Valjean is great-- but he also seems a lot more self-actualized, more like he's gotten himself completely "figured out" by the end of the story. Other, bad, Les Mis adaptations — the adaptations that generally portray Jean Valjean a worse more violent person — also usually make Jean Valjean more confident in himself, more confident in his own feelings/desires, more certain that he’s entitled to certain things, and more willing to demand or take what he wants.
But one major aspect of book Jean Valjean's personality is that he does not have a healthy relationship with anything about himself. He has a tortured broken relationship with his own identity. He repeatedly thinks about “Jean Valjean” as a person outside of himself, a person who he finds frightening, repulsive, savage, and horrible— like a wild animal he needs to sedate, or beat into submission. He is obsessed with self-denial and self-repression. He is fixated on the idea that he is subhuman, that he is not allowed to want things or to pursue having any kinds of relationships with other people-- and that the most heroic thing he can do is "grab himself by the collar” and violently force himself to stay away from the things he wants. He is desperate to be loved and fixated on being unworthy of love and on denying himself love. He is absolutely not at peace with his identity: to paraphrase Jean Valjean in one of the later chapters, he believes he can only gain inner peace by “eviscerating his own entrails.”
He is never truly content with who he is, what he wants, or what kind of love he wants— and he never learns to be. The novel ends with him cutting himself off from his only family, breaking ties with the only person who loves him, and essentially slowly killing himself out of self-loathing.
There are other characters in Les Mis who seem very content with who they are and what they want. Enjolras is self-assured in his identity, and doesn’t appear to feel like there is any kind of love that is missing from his life. Whether you interpret him as gay or ace or trans or w/e, book!Enjolras is written as someone who is extremely self-assured and has a loving support system that is enough to keep him happy. But I don’t think that’s true for Jean Valjean at all XD.
And that’s why it's hard to apply labels like “aromantic” or “ace” or gay/straight/etc to Jean Valjean, when talking about his canon characterization. Those labels imply the person has a basic level of comfort with acknowledging their own desires/lack of desire/identity. And Jean Valjean never achieves that level of comfort. What “label” do you give to someone whose relationship with their identity is “I do not belong in a family, I have no right to want things, I have no right to be happy, I am outside of life, and I will never be at peace until I eviscerate my own entrails?” Is there a “self-disembowelment" pride flag? XD I've seen a lot of interpretations that go "Jean Valjean never expresses any interest in romance, he's perfectly content just to have his relationship with his daughter" but I honestly don't think that's true. Jean Valjean tries to content himself with having only Cosette. But part of why everything explodes so catastrophically in the end of the novel is because he needs more than just a paternal relationship. He doesn’t try to have a “normal�� father-daughter relationship with Cosette, he tries to force his relationship with Cosette to be literally everything and everyone to him, for her to be his entire world: and it doesn’t work.
There’s a passage in the novel that talks about how all the love Valjean is capable of ends up being suppressed/sublimated into his relationship with Cosette. The love of a brother, of a friend, of a father, of a husband, the love of everything he is capable of, gets repressed so that he can throw every part of himself into being a father. There are Bad les mis adaptations that incorrectly misinterpret that passage to mean that Jean Valjean is incestuous/grooming Cosette. But in context, that’s not what the passage means at all.
The passage specifies very explicitly that Jean Valjean “did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father,” that “no marriage was possible between them,” that his feelings for her are absolutely paternal. But the passage does show how Jean Valjean is doing a very different unhealthy thing: he’s relying on Cosette to fill every single emotional void in his life.
He’s relying on parenthood to fill the grief/emptiness left behind by all the other kinds of love that he has wanted, but never been given.
To quote a bit of that passage:
Jean Valjean did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father (…) Let the reader recall the situation of heart which we have already indicated. No marriage was possible between them; not even that of souls; and yet, it is certain that their destinies were wedded. With the exception of Cosette, that is to say, with the exception of a childhood, Jean Valjean had never, in the whole of his long life, known anything of that which may be loved. The passions and loves which succeed each other had not produced in him those successive green growths, tender green or dark green, which can be seen in foliage which passes through the winter and in men who pass fifty. In short, and we have insisted on it more than once, all this interior fusion, all this whole, of which the sum total was a lofty virtue, ended in rendering Jean Valjean a father to Cosette. A strange father, forged from the grandfather, the son, the brother, and the husband, that existed in Jean Valjean; a father in whom there was included even a mother; a father who loved Cosette and adored her, and who held that child as his light, his home, his family, his country, his paradise.
Jean Valjean reminds me of a Failmode I’ve seen in a lot of different real-life parents? There are parents who cope with their own hard lives by telling themselves that parenthood is their sole reason for being alive, and who obsess over their child’s success as their only source of purpose, meaning, love, happiness, community, and validation. But it’s a bad idea to rely on one child to provide the emotional support that should be shared by friends, parents, siblings, every possible loved one, etc etc—- One child can’t actually heal you from your trauma, be a replacement for your broken relationships, pull you out of your grief, save you from your adult loneliness, etc etc etc etc.
When I see the common interpretation that Jean Valjean is perfectly content just to be the father of Cosette, I think of this line:
Thus when he saw that the end had absolutely come, that she was escaping from him, that she was slipping from his hands, that she was gliding from him, like a cloud, like water, when he had before his eyes this crushing proof: “another is the goal of her heart, another is the wish of her life; there is a dearest one, I am no longer anything but her father, I no longer exist”; when he could no longer doubt, when he said to himself: “She is going away from me!” the grief which he felt surpassed the bounds of possibility. To have done all that he had done for the purpose of ending like this! And the very idea of being nothing!
On one hand, the terrible Les mis adaptations that portray Valjean as Incest Creep are incorrect and wrong. On the other hand, though, Jean Valjean IS unhealthy about Cosette— just in a different and actually sympathetic way.
He has made fatherhood his only purpose, to replace every other purpose he could have in life. So he can’t be “just Cosette’s father.” He can’t imagine her becoming an adult and leaving the nest, like children do. What does he have if he’s not taking care of her? What is his purpose in life if she doesn’t need him to be her parent? He's not just being her father, he's relying on her to be his entire reason to exist. He hasn't been allowing himself to have things outside of her.
And speaking of things outside of Cosette: segue time. This post was supposed to be about Jean Valjean and romance, so let's switch gears and talk about his canon 'romantic experiences' more:
We’re told that in his youth he “never had a sweetheart” because he “never had time to be in love.” There is no indication that Jean Valjean never wanted to be in love. The opposite is implied. Hugo frames it as a tragedy that Jean Valjean’s does not experience young love; it’s the horror of poverty taking yet another thing from him.
Within prison, Valjean is “gloomy” and “chaste;” when he traumadumps to Montparnasse about it, he talks about women looking on galley slaves with horror and disgust. Romance, at least “normal” heterosexual romance, is no longer something that is permitted for him. Jean Valjean knows very little about romance/love/sex and it repeatedly messes up his life. He spends 19 years in the all-male environment of prison, then about a decade in the almost-all-female environment of the convent. He has very little experience with how men and women are supposed to interact. The oppression Fantine faces as a sex worker, and Cosette's relationship with Marius, are both two big 'blind spots' that he struggles with.
At one point romantic love is described as “The only misery Jean Valjean had not yet experienced, and the only one that is sweet.”
In his massive confession to Marius, he agonizes over how he is not allowed to be part of a family, and is incapable of being part of a home. He compares himself to someone sick and diseased, that poisons good and normal people with his presence, and cannot be allowed to make himself part of their families.
So Jean Valjean doesn’t frame Romance as “a thing he doesn’t want:” it’s a thing “he is not allowed to want,” it is one of the many things he is banned from wanting. It's impossible to tell what kind of things he would want, if he were allowed to want them.
One of the most interesting things to me, however, is his general attitude towards Marius/Cosette.
Obviously his first reaction to Marius snooping around is fear and resentment— he doesn’t know to interact with romance, having never experienced it, and immediately begins catastrophizing. He views Marius as a privileged booby ruining his life for something as frivolous as a love affair: it reads to me as partially envy, envy of the fact that Marius lives the kind of safe comfortable life that allows him to experience young love.
Jean Valjean added: “What does he want? A love affair! A love affair! And I? What! I have been first, the most wretched of men, and then the most unhappy, and I have traversed sixty years of life on my knees, I have suffered everything that man can suffer, I have grown old without having been young, I have lived without a family, without relatives, without friends, without life, without children, I have left my blood on every stone, on every bramble, on every mile-post, along every wall, I have been gentle, though others have been hard to me, and kind, although others have been malicious, I have become an honest man once more, in spite of everything, I have repented of the evil that I have done and have forgiven the evil that has been done to me, and at the moment when I receive my recompense, at the moment when it is all over, at the moment when I am just touching the goal, at the moment when I have what I desire, it is well, it is good, I have paid, I have earned it, all this is to take flight, all this will vanish, and I shall lose Cosette, and I shall lose my life, my joy, my soul, because it has pleased a great booby to come and lounge at the Luxembourg.”
But, even though Jean Valjean views romance as something he isn’t allowed or have or to want, views it as a threat and catastrophizes over how it will ruin his life……he seems to also put heterosexual romance on a pedestal.
The way Jean Valjean idealizes marriage is one of his weirdest character notes for me.
He views marriage as Cosette’s “happy ending.” It’s her “happily ever after” point where she won’t need him anymore, where she won’t need anyone outside of her husband. A Man And a Woman Are Meant to Get Married, It's Fate, and It Means They Will Live Happily Together Forever. Marius is “the goal of her heart, the wish of her life; her dearest one.” Nothing outside of that matters anymore.
He treats her marriage as if romantic love is inherently always more important than any kind of platonic relationships, and always takes priority over them. He later dismisses the unconventional family structure he has with Cosette, saying that despite his love for her he was only a "passerby" and was not actually her real father, because they were not biologically related.
There's a moment where Jean Valjean is described as someone whose ideal is to be angel on the inside and a bourgeois on the outside. Jean Valjean's worship of bourgeois social norms, norms he can never truly be a part of, is one of his character flaws. He has a similar "guard dog" energy as Eponine does when she defends Rue Plumet from her parents.....Eponine and Jean Valjean both become the guard dogs of a kind of romantic relationship they believe they are banned from having. Jean Valjean believes that getting Happily Straight Married in a Middle-Class Home with a Picket Fence(tm) is the ideal path for life....but believes himself broken/incapable of ever following that path. And so he instead throws his entire life into securing that future for Marius and Cosette.
In what manner was Jean Valjean to behave in relation to the happiness of Cosette and Marius? It was he who had willed that happiness, it was he who had brought it about; he had, himself, buried it in his entrails, and at that moment, when he reflected on it, he was able to enjoy the sort of satisfaction which an armorer would experience on recognizing his factory mark on a knife, on withdrawing it, all smoking, from his own breast. Cosette had Marius, Marius possessed Cosette. They had everything, even riches. And this was his doing.
TL: DR:
Jean Valjean's gender/sexuality label is “idk but he’s super fucked up about it.”
#les mis#jean valjean#les mis letters#because i BRIEFLY tied it into Eponine#my idea for a self disembowelment pride flag#is that its like. prometheus and the eagle#but prometheus is into it#not sure how coherent this essay is but I am POasting it
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What would you say are Silver's biggest flaws?
I know that, like with the other characters in TWST, he has more nuance than what he at first seems; I've gradually become a big Silver fan ever since he got more focus on book 7, but I feel that I still don't have a good enough grasp of his character to fully talk about him without unintentionally simplifying him to his most known traits. Because when Silver comes up in conversation, most people tend to talk about the more positive aspects of his character, when even Kalim-who is considered another of the more amicable students/characters in the main cast and in-universe-has had his flaws talked about in more depth by fans and meta writers than Silver has. To me his most noticeable flaw is that he tends to blame himself or feel responsible for things that, as far as I could tell, were beyond his control and that there wasn't much more he could do about it, but I feel that there might be more than just that.
I’d say that Silver’s lack of self-worth and overdedication are his most significant flaws. (I’ve discussed the topic at length in this post, so please give that a read, as I will not be repeating myself here.) Some other notable shortcomings include, but are not limited to: being dense/air-headed (which impairs his relationships with peers), limited capacity to think beyond the literal or in relation to combat (he comments that the heels on boots can be used as weapons on a pinch and, when prompted by Vil to think of a beautiful thing, Silver replied “you, Vil.”), tendency to blame himself for issues caused by his sleeping curse, and having difficulty emoting (which leads to misunderstandings with peers).
I think the issue with discussing Silver’s flaws is that people often attribute most of his traits as being positive without realizing how truly bad too much of a good thing can be. For example, Silver is “diligent”, which is usually positive—bur Silver is so “diligent” to the point where he constantly apologizes for things out of his control, adopts extreme methods in an attempt to stay awake, and beats himself up for not being able to meet certain arbitrary expectations he set up for himself, which is negative. I also think another issue is that many players don’t read book 7 (which is where Silver gets his deepest characterization) because they get stuck on the increasingly difficult battles in late book 6. On the other hand, books 4 and 5 are very manageable (and so you’ll have more exposure to Kalim and his shortcomings, but not necessarily Silver’s).
Before I close off 💦 I’d like to gently remind you (and honestly anyone else reading this!) that you’re allowed to “fully talk” about whatever characters you want 🙂↕️ You’re bringing up the topic, which already demonstrates an interest in having a discussion about it. If you had never mentioned it at all, then this talk would never be happening and no progress would be made.
Who cares if you “unintentionally simplify” a character to their “most known traits”? Can’t that theoretically be a good thing since you’d be explaining the character in an easy-to-understand manner for others to use as a basis for their opinions? And even if the interpretation you give is the complete opposite of the character in canon, what’s the problem? There is still value and merit in an inaccurate works. It can teach people what they don’t believe is true, which is still useful to know. My point is, there is no right or wrong way to discuss characters and you should “fully talk” as you wish. It’s not like ONLY certain fandom authorities or “accredited” fans are “allowed” to talk about certain things 😭 Don’t be afraid to start the discussion yourself!
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#Silver#notes from the writing raven#question#Vil Schoenheit#fairy gala if spoilers#Kalim Al-Asim#advice
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