#being in 20s is weird....i thought it would be easier...in same capacity it is but other times no....

[gomzdrawfr]

wrote out plans and stared at my calendar, putting my hands together and mutter a quiet "you do need a break"

[scenariosofkonoha]

Life’s Different Now| Modern! Kakashi

Part 1/?

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3|  Part 4| Part 5| Part 6

Fic Summary: Life’s different now that you’re grown and come back home. Everyone’s learned to live without you, but now you’re back. Some things are the same, but most are different.That’s not necessarily a bad thing though, and it brings more feelings than you though would come. 

Chapter Summary: Setting up the basis for this Kakashi slowburn fic. You just graduated with your masters from a university overseas and now you’re coming home after 6 years to surprise your family for the holidays. Lots of reunions, mainly focused on Shisui, Itachi, Obito, and Kakashi.

You were never one who struggled to get their bearings in a new environment. No, you had always thrived when thrown into different situations that were consumed with uncertainty. You were good at being able to make great things out of nothing; it was one of your strengths- at least that’s what you called it whenever you went out for job interviews. Though as you stood in the airport that was most definitely over it’s capacity, desperately trying to find the one familiar thing you needed, you were on the brink of questioning that maybe you should change that interview answer.  

“Hey! You!” a voice yelled out, hoping that he was loud enough to outweigh all of the commotion that surrounded him. 

Instantly snapping your head to where the call resonated for, you began helplessly letting a smile come across your face as you recognized that familiar voice. With a tightened grip on your small luggage, you quickly wove your way through the countless travelers who were all in situations very similar to you. Shifting your way through the crowd and offering a ‘sorry, excuse me,’ to those who you got a little too close to, you finally made it to your one familiar thing. “Did you forget my name?” you replied and let out a small laugh as you dropped your luggage and found yourself in a hug. 

Wrapping his arms around you, Shisui shook his head, “No, it takes 7 years on a different continent for that to happen. You were only 6 ½, so you made the cut.” he joked as he gave you one last squeeze before letting go. “You ready? Is this all you have?” he asked while picking up your suitcase, wanting to leave the airport as quickly as he could, but also realizing that it may have taken more than one suitcase to move your entire existence across the ocean. 

You nodded. “Yeah, have you seen luggage prices? I’m not paying that.”

He looked uncertainly to you. “You packed 6 years of your life into this 20 pound suitcase and that tiny carry on?” 

“Impressed?” you almost snickered, knowing the last time he had been over to your apartment in Europe it was a disaster zone that wouldn’t fit in even a small Uhaul. “But, seriously, yes. Let’s go.” you followed up as you gave him a slight push to the exit. 

As the two of you started to weave throughout the crowd once again, you did your best to stay together, but with the mere amount of people filling the airport it was a trial. It wasn’t until you were finally out of the airport and in the parking lot that you were actually able to start up talking again. “I have coffee and ibuprofen for you in the car, you know, to make up for the last time I dropped you off and stole yours.” Shisui offered. 

You laughed, “You’re really trying prep me for this party, aren’t you?”

Shisui shook his head unconvincingly as the pair of you made it to the car, “No, I’m just being the quality brother that I am.” he tried as he threw the suitcase in the back seat.

“Yeah?” you murmured as you got into the passenger seat.

“But…” he started again as he got in and started the car. “I would suggest you drink it, because there’s four shots of espresso in it and you’re going to need it for tonight.” he offered. 

“Is this like the big, big holiday party, or like the medium, big party?” you inquired as you began to open the ibuprofen bottle. “Just so I know how many of these I’m going to need to get through the impending jet lag and social gathering that are inevitably going to hit me at the same time?” 

“It’s both Madara’s and Izuna’s side, plus friends...”

“Oof, okay 3 it is.” you muttered as you took the precautionary medicine. Bringing you back home for the holidays was this elaborate plan Shisui had thought of back in September. Yes, you had already planned to move back home, but not until after the first of the year, and that’s what you had told everyone- that was your original plan. It wasn’t until he called you in the middle of the night with this whole plan of surprising everyone at the family holiday party that served as both your and his present to everyone for the year that you even considered moving back so rapidly.  You had graduated with your master’s degree only a few days prior, and basically selling everything you owned and closing on the tiny studio apartment you had been living in for 6 years while all of that was happening was no simple task. By some means you managed it, and you honestly thanked your terribly learned skill of doing impossibly large tasks last minute that got you through both undergrad and grad. 

There were more moving pieces to it though, ones that you had honestly let fall by the wayside and would fight later. What mattered now was that there you were, back home, in your brother’s car, going to the first family holiday party in six years. You were cutting it short time wise, but that was more of a personality trait than anything anymore. So swallowing the little pills with a sip of coffee, you continued to get information about what the night held. “Who all are we going with?” you asked, knowing that your grandfather’s place was an hour’s drive from Shisui’s house, so it only made sense to go as a group with other members of your family. 

Merging onto the highway, Shisui smiled, “I got your two favorite cousins over at my place. Kakashi’s tagging along with Obito too, so it's a good group if I say so myself.”

“Oh my god, I haven’t given Obito shit in person since I was high school…” you smiled. “ Do they know I’m coming?”

“Nope. I told them I went out to grab alcohol for the party. Thought I’d give you a practice round for all the attention you’re going to get tonight,” Shisui only halfway joked. 

Sliding down against your seat belt, you took another sip of the coffee, the reality of the night now becoming front and center in your mind.. “This is going to be exhausting, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, you're going to be drained.” Shisui reaffirmed, the absence of pity apparent. “The cousin- one who everyone actually likes- who’s been out of the country for 6 years surprising everyone at the family holiday party? You won’t get a second to breathe.” he nodded with a slight chuckle, pleased with himself at how this plan actually worked. 

“Mom’s probably going to cry and then look at you, because she 100% knows this is something you’d pull.”

“ Oh completely. And Dad won’t stop talking about you and how you’re so smart now and how proud he is.” 

“And then we’ll get an earful of how we should have mentioned something and they would have helped.” you completed the scenario that you were positive was going to take place in a few hours. 

“Yep.”

You shook your head contently for a moment, actually looking forward to getting lectured. Then glancing over, you offered your appreciation. “Thanks again for paying for my plane ticket; I know they’re outrageous this time of year.” you acknowledged Shisui, who was the true coordinator in all this.  

“Oh yeah,” he replied, acting as if it were nothing. “I mean, you’re remodeling like half my house in exchange, so don’t worry about it.” 

Sitting forward, you grabbed your tablet out of the carry on, “Speaking of which,” you murmured as you turned it on “I have ideas, and by ideas, I mean I have 5 different schematics sketched out on here for you to look out, but I also need to look at your place, because two of those ideas involve taking a wall out.” you updated him on your plans for his newly owned home. 

“What-”

“Don’t worry, I can do it myself.”

“You can take a wall out by yourself?”

You laughed, “Oh, taking a wall out was by far one of the easier things I did in grad school.” 

He took a quick glance at you, now realizing more than ever his masters program must have been far different than yours. “Okay, well get ready to see this wall, because we’re here.” he said with a slight chuckle, though you could tell there was a bit of concern for the wall. Turning into the driveway, he parked the car and looked fully to you, “You ready?”

Taking the last sip of your coffee, scrunched your shoulder for a second. “Is it weird I’m nervous to see my cousins?” you asked.

“Don’t you message all three of them almost every day...?” he narrowed his eyes. 

“Yeah, you’re right; let’s go see ‘em.” you nodded to yourself before getting out of the car and following him into the house.  

Upon entering the house, you didn’t see anyone, but you heard chatter. It wasn’t until that chatter stopped and was replaced with a yell that you saw anyone. “Shisui, how long does it take to get five bottles? We gotta go. We’re going to get chewed out-” Obito called out, but was stopped abruptly when he came into the living room. Blinking a few times, he was dumbfounded for a second, before a stupid smile came upon his face. “Holy shit, you’re here?” he laughed out before running over to you and hugging you, picking you up a couple inches off the ground in the process. 

Letting out a laugh at his reaction, you hugged back. “Yeah, I’m here. I told you I was moving back.” you replied, feeling your feet touch the ground again.

“Yeah, in February, it’s December!”  he remarked, still trying to process that you were standing right in front of him. 

Shrugging, you rolled your eyes, “Minor details…” you let out a small chuckle. And as you did that, the other two had made their way into the room. Seeing them in person for the first time in years, your smile was softer to Itachi and Kakashi, not as ornery as you had been with Shisui and Obito. Making your way to Itachi first, you held your hands out to him, “How are you? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” you offered as you took his hands, and pulled him into an embrace. You and Itachi were only a month apart, so next to Shisui he was the closest family member you had, so there was a small part of you that felt guilty for not looping him in.

He let out something that was almost a sigh, but seemed to hold more happiness than a sigh would allow. “Don’t be.” Itachi shook his head. “I’m glad you came home.” he gave a gentle smile to you before letting go. 

Then looking at the last individual in the room who you hadn't greeted yet, you gave a fake frown, “You can’t look at me like I’ve only been gone a little bit, makes me think you didn’t miss me. ” you pouted me as you made your way over to him. 

“I’m not?” Kakashi replied, shaking his head in defense while you gave him the last hug. “I promise I missed you.” he offered up almost like an apology.

“Good.”

And just as you all were finishing your reunion, Shisui pulled out his phone, a call coming in. “Oh shit…” Shisui muttered, more or less cursing at the time rather than the call. Answering, he looked to you all as he spoke, doing his best to loop everyone in. “Hey, Dad, what’s going on?” he greeted, already knowing that he was going to question their presence. “Grandpa’s wondering where we are?” he repeated, grabbing his keys again and motioning to the door. “Yeah, yeah, we’re leaving my place now. We’ll be there in like 50 minutes, I’ll speed.” he offered as the lot of you grabbed your coats, ready to be greeted by the bitter cold.  “Yeah, I’m sorry. Tell ‘em Obito held us up- didn’t have any wrapping paper.” he lied as he held the door open and silently told you all to get into the car. 

“Hey-” Obito tried to cut in.

“Anyway, we’re in the car, see you soon!” Shisui raised his voice a little before ending the call so that Obito’s objections couldn’t be heard. 

Getting squished in the middle seat by Itachi and Kakashi, Obito glared at Shisui through the rear view mirror. “You know, you could have said it was Itachi?” 

Shisui sighed as he looked over his shoulder and started to back out of the driveway, “Yeah, but Dad’s not going to believe that, and we’ve spent too long coming up with this plan to let our last lie throw this suprise out the window.” 

*****

The car ride passed quickly as the four of them tried to get you up to pace, and before you knew it, you were parked outside of your grandfather’s large home. Grabbing a box of assorted drinks and pastries out of the trunk, Obito nodded to you all as he started to make his way down the snowy yard, “Let’s go! I don’t want to be barked at all night for being even later than we already are!” Heeding his words for once, you all followed him through the snow and watched him and he knocked on the front door with a kick.  

“Y/N, hide behind Itachi, you should be last.” Shisui instructed with a slight push. 

And almost immediately as you made your way behind everyone, you heard the front door open and a usually comforting voice, tenser than normal as she tried to keep the party going.

“Come in, come in! You know your father is covering for all three of you right now?” your mother said. She probably thought that she had raised a child who could be on time to events and not nearly an hour and a half late. “ Madara keeps asking where you all are, you know.” she reminded, not necessarily upset with you all, but desperately running out of ways to entertain the old man without you all there. “Obito, you can take all that to the kitchen. Shisui and Itachi, you both need to go visit everyone in the living room. Hi, Kakashi how are you?” she gave a smile, quickly addressing each of you. 

“Mom, Mom, Mom,” Shisui stopped her. “Before anything happens, look who I brought-” you could hear the smile forming on his face as he gave your cue. 

“Hi Mom,” you grinned as you peaked out from behind Itachi.

 For a second, shock came across her face, but that was quickly replaced by a watery eyes smile as she rushed out of the house to hug you. Pulling you in tight, she kept you warm despite the snow that had now turned most of your hair white. Placing her hands on either side of your face, she let out a laugh filled with disbelief. “You’re home?” 

You nodded. “ I’m home…”

Instantly turning her head to look at Shisui, her voice was nearly certain, “This was your idea?” she asked. 

He just shrugged with a smile. 

“Can we go inside?” you laughed, “I’m not used to it being so cold anymore.” 

Wiping the tears away, your mom nodded. “Of course.” Taking a hold onto your hand as the pair of you walked into the home following the boys, she couldn’t stop smiling. “Let’s go see everyone. We’ve all missed you so much…”

*****

Your head fell against the headrest of Shisui’s car, another wave of exhaustion hitting you as your eyes were locked on the windshield as the snow rushed past. “Thank you so much for driving. I don’t think I would have made it back.” you admitted to Kakashi, nearly in a daze.  

Glancing over to you, he offered a nod of acknowledgment before replying. “I didn’t think you were even going to make it this long,” he let a small laugh.

Rubbing your eyes, you tried to stay coherent. “I think it was that 4th shot of espresso Shisui gave me when I got off the plane.”  

“Maybe that’s what all three of them needed…” he commented as he glanced at the rear view mirror at the other three in your group who had all fallen asleep on the car ride back. He couldn’t particularly blame them, it was now early in the morning, and he had a gut feeling from the very beginning that he was going to be the one driving back. 

You smiled. “Yeah, but honestly, I’m so glad Obito fell asleep there, because that gave us a way out. Those people could stay talking all night, and I just…” you trailed off. 

“Enough interaction for one night?”

“Yeah…”

“They all seem to be happy you’re home though.” 

You nodded, but didn’t follow up. 

“I’m glad you’re home.”

That time you did follow up, “I am too…”

[hopestretchandreiki]

This week it was my pleasure to speak to another human with whom I turn to for pearls of wisdom and insight- my eldest sister- Nikki Hopes.

Nikki has had a tumultuous year to say the least, becoming a first time mother and setting up her own freelance Graphic Design company- HopesCreative, during a global pandemic.

I have wanted to speak to Nikki properly about the year that has just been for a while, and now that it is nearing the first Birthday of her and her Fiancé’s (Darren) son (my Nephew!) it felt like the perfect time.

Nikki has asked if I can keep the name of her son private, and rightly so.

It was quite difficult and emotional writing and reflecting on this conversation, but not nearly as hard as the year has been for Nikki and Darren.  

Nikki has been incredibly brave in sharing this journey and allowing me to share a very personal story with others.

We really never know the battles that people are facing internally, so this piece serves first and foremost as a reminder to always be gentle and kind to yourself and to others.

This one is also for anyone who is embarking on a new adventure- be it in business, motherhood or another personal journey. Be brave, the best is yet to come.

I hope you enjoy x

Nikki, you became a Mother in December 2019 when Covid-19 was just beginning, how has that first year been for you as a first time mum?

Our son was born in early December at 25+2 weeks and he was in hospital for 100 days. So we came home mid-March and lockdown then began on the 23rd March.

Because he came home on Oxygen, he was then classed as clinically extremely vulnerable so we had to shield him until the end of July 2020.

So it’s kind of been a tough year!

For the first four months after we came home, I basically didn’t really leave the house, other than to take him for a walk. We started trying to do a few more things come August /September/October time, and then we’ve gone in to another lockdown.

It has been hard, it’s been scary, it’s been very lonely and isolating, it’s just not what you expect first time motherhood to be. But there is no manual for how to deal with the situation, because hardly anyone has really gone through it.

It’s been sad- because a lot of my family and a lot of Darren’s family still haven’t been able to hold him, see him frequently. It definitely feels like there has been a lot that has been missed out on in his first year.

Do you feel, mentally, that this will manifest itself in some way in the future or that it already has?

I think it already has, In that I have had some really low times; I have had panic attacks.

I have quite an obsessive personality – so with all the being in hospital so often, that has manifested itself in worrying about everyone’s health. And I think there is a lot of trauma that I haven’t really worked through from the time in hospital and everything we have experienced.

Usually I am just a ‘get your head down and get on with it’ type of person - ‘keep calm and carry on.’ This has been a whole different level of trauma- I don’t know if there will ever fully be, at the moment, an end point.

I do definitely think I’m still processing it. With his first birthday coming up, that’s going to be a big point.

I think it is still a process, and because his development is still ‘behind’ (technically he kind of is) until we are fully caught up on that as well, he still feels premature. I don’t think I am at the point yet where it feels like ‘okay, that’s something I have dealt with and I’ve moved on from that.’

What do you think have been the main battles for you since you became a mum, particularly during this pandemic?

I think it’s probably the loneliness. In the first lockdown, there were no groups, no mum and baby classes- no coffee mornings, and obviously because of him being so premature, I didn’t get to do any of my Antenatal classes, which I was relying on to meet mums (because I am not from here) (oxford.)

All of that got whipped away, and also not being able to have the support of immediate family... so that had a massive impact and that was one of the biggest battles...you’re thrust into it.

Luckily they did start doing some online classes and through that I did get chatting to a few other mums, but it’s hard to try and establish a relationship with another mum and their baby when you can’t actually see each other in person.

Those classes did eventually became a lifeline.

We did Baby Massage classes, Sing and Sign and Baby College classes, which we are now going to in person.

I had 40 minutes a day where we could do things together and they helped teach us games and songs to do with him that made me feel like he was getting proper stimulation.

There is a group in Oxfordshire called Birth Baby Balance. I booked my Antenatal classes through them, but then I looked them up and they were running different classes. They started doing Friday coffee mornings over zoom, so people could join in on a Friday.

A year on do you feel like you’re much more established? Do you feel like there’s more out there now?

There is more out there- we are now doing baby college in person. We do that once a week and that’s amazing.

I have been so worried about him not having any interaction with other babies, which he does now. Seeing him look at the other babies and crawling over and stealing toys off the other babies, it is really sweet and I think he does need it, it has been massively beneficial.

Those are now classed as a support group. There was a little bit of an uproar as to the lack of support for mums to be and new mums in lockdown. Having a baby is hard at the best of times, taking away the support system for new mums caused a bit of an issue.

It is different for us now. We have also had parental support in our bubble. He gets a different experience and a place to go and new faces!

I don’t think you ever really know what you’re doing as a parent, everyone is winging it all the time, is what I have learned.

I have a WhatsApp group with everyone that was in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit. We talk all the time. It’s different with a premature baby, a lot of stuff is different, they do things at different times, you have different considerations. We are always messaging each other going ‘how many times a day does so and so....’

I have nothing to compare this journey to. I don’t know how I would feel if we had just had a journey that was ‘normal.’

How is Darren feeling at the minute, how was/ is his journey?

Darren was furloughed when we first came home. He had 5/6 weeks at home, which you can look at in two ways really- obviously it’s awful, but for him, he would never have got that time normally with his son, if it hadn’t been for that.

Most paternity is 2 weeks and you’re back at work so he had a lot of time, which he loved. He catastrophizes stuff less. Because he went back to work, he was more comfortable being out. He was doing food shops. I think he found it easier to adjust.

He is a lot more of an extrovert than me, he wants to go to the pub, go to dinner, see his friends, go and watch and play football and he can’t and he has found that really stressful. I miss doing all that stuff but not in the same way.

You are a Graphic Designer. You’ve gone freelance off the back of everything that has happened and set up your own company Hopes Creative- how are you managing it?

It is something I have always toyed with, and I don’t think I would have made the leap if it wasn’t for everything that had happened. The plan was always to go back to work in some capacity.

My work basically said I had to go back full time, so it kind of made me make that leap and make that choice. Setting everything up, I did it when he was asleep or during evenings.

I really enjoyed getting everything ready and it was really  nice to feel a real passion for what I do. it felt really good to do something that is ‘me.’

I think it is probably going to take off slower than I’d like. I have had enquiries and I’ve done a job – but everything I do (weddings, invitations etc.) it’s not going on at the moment. I need to wait for life to start up again.

I think it���s going to be a slow process, I am starting to promote it more as well. It’s something I still love doing, so it’s not been as hard as I thought.

I can’t imagine how distracting it is having to switch between all these different roles- it’s a lot of hats to wear.

It’s very easy to lose your sense of self when you do become a mum. You’re not working, which is a massive part of who you are- your social and your day to day.

You can’t exercise in the same way for quite a while.

Your entire life switches to their needs, rightly so. It’s finding that balance between who you are and the fact that you’re ‘mum.’

You’re a better person because of the extra person in your life, but it’s still okay to miss the person you were before. It takes adjusting.

What else helps you keep balanced?

I knew I still wanted to work. I recently started exercising again. It’s weird- I couldn’t get my head around finding time to do it, it’s only recently I’ve got my head back in to it- I need to try and do more stuff. Maybe I am coming out of the other side in some ways.

I went for a run, even though it felt disgusting and I hated it. I have done online HIIT workouts. I am really going to try and keep doing that.

The classes we go to, even though they’re for technically not for me, they help me keep more of a balance, being able to chat to people- it’s a dose of normality.

Some mornings it took all the energy I had it to get myself dressed for the day. There was no space in my head at all, even a 20 minute HIIT class.

It has always (exercise) been a big part of me, so trying to get some of that back is a big thing.

Have there been any aspects of motherhood that you have found easier due to the limitations of Covid

I have nothing to compare to but I’ve had time with him that maybe a lot of new mums may not have had because I didn’t have a lot of visits from friends and family.

On one hand I feel really sad we’ve missed out, but on the other, I wonder if it has benefited our bond,  because it has just been the three of us.

Maybe having been in hospital for so long, we only held him for an hour a day for the first few weeks - I wonder if it's beneficial to have him and that time to get to know each other.

Is there anything that you would say to anyone going through a similar process that you have found helpful- from someone who suffers from high anxiety

Trying to take the pressure off yourself. Am I doing the right thing? Is he stimulated enough? It is damaging.

I think that being honest, every mum needs to be more honest with how hard and how lonely and how bloody boring it can be. I love him with my bones, but you give up who you are and you’re at home with this person who can’t really respond to you.

Trying to be more honest about that and not being afraid to ask for help. That’s why my WhatsApp group is so good.

There’s a lot of pressure. To begin with, I was my own worst enemy.

You can’t know everything. Apparently, there’s a stat, as long as you meet a babies needs something like 30 percent of the time, then they’re happy.

What are your favourite things about becoming a new mum?

Watching him achieve things. For us it feels extra special, watching him figure out how to climb the stairs and how to pick things up.

He was so wanted, because he was an IVF baby, so that has been one of the best parts of it, when you bring him in to bed in the morning for a cuddle.

He is funny. He is sassy. From the first minute I saw him, he has just got this inner determination and he’s very ‘within’ himself. He’s got a real strength to him.  

What are your top goals going in to 2021

I would like to get my business off the ground and ideally I would like to get married!

I would settle for not having another lockdown.

To try and worry less. To try and not be so obsessive about bad stuff and focus more on the good stuff. There is a lot of good stuff.

He starts nursery in March! To keep him happy...And to try and run quicker.

[ilkkijangege]

131

Work from Home Chad Chronicles Part 2 because I've already reached max capacity on the other one 😂

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15/09/20

Today, I noticed that he removed "Pizza time 🤩" from his status now and changed his profile pic to Peter Griffin.

The first one really dampened my mood because I was the one who taught him how to add that and it was meaningful to me. Is that a sign that he's moved on? 😂 Or am I overthinking this again?

I prayed about him again last night but I really don't know. How can I date him? It's going to be a year next month and it's killing me. Help.

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21/09/20

Had my interview for the QA role on Friday and I feel like it went really well as in super well na I am really hoping na I will really get it.

But a realisation occurred to me, if God gives this to me, I am going to have to take it as a sign na he wants me to focus on my career. I wouldn't be able to date Chad because I will be above him. It truly sucks but we can't get everything in life, we would need to sacrifice something in order to get to where we want.

I've been wanting to progress in my career for the longest time and it's either I choose love or career. I want to experience love but if a career opportunity comes knocking on my door, this is what I'll have to choose. My mom chose her career over love, she was able to provide for her family and in the end, she found love. Maybe that's the path God wants me to take.

Whatever happens Lord, take the wheel. If you want me to be with him, then I'll gladly accept that too.

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29/09/20

So I didn't get the QA role and he didn't get the SME role either...

So it means, I have to make a move on him at some point since we're still level 13s.

However, meeting the parents really scares me because his parents are rich and I feel like I am so out of their league. I mean, they may be nice people and all but I don't know how they'll feel about me.

I'm thinking wayyy too ahead, it's not like he's even agreed to go on a date with me like 😂

Anyways, I think I still need a lot more time to discern about this.

Also quite sad that both of my wing women has left the company. 😭 I'm alone in this game called love now. I mean if he leaves as well, then it's going to be much easier for me to move on.

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8/10/20

So I was looking into our office's Workplace platform and there was a post about 5 weeks ago from one of the SMEs and he was asked to tag the team.

He didn't tag me...but he tagged the new joiners on our team.... I know I may be overthinking this but cmon how could you forget about me?

Is this a sign I should move on and move to a different company?

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25/10/20

Okay was curious about the number on his linkedin, added it on WhatsApp and if that is still his phone number, omg how cute he has his dog as his profile pic haha

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30/10/20

So a year has officially passed since I started growing a crush on him. ARGH I HATE THIS 🥺

Had a dream that I confessed to him on messenger because he was leaving the company. I saw that he said "yup" before i opened the thread so I thought he said yes to a date with me but he just replied to my message where I said the message can be deleted in one click if he rejects me. Then I saw him in the office collecting his stuff and we just ignored each other. Weird dream tbh haha.

Then in another dream that followed, I also confessed to him via messenger but this time, he said yes to a date with me.

Honestly, I am very anxious when I finally ask him out. I am thinking January, so I can let the holiday season pass by and hopefully Ireland will be in Level 2 then so we can sit in a café. But I was also thinking of going on a walk in St Stephen's Green Park.

I'll just really have to take a risk and just go for it. I just hope he'll be man enough to reject me, if ever, rather than to seen zone me. I'm praying for a positive outcome but we'll see. Even if I get rejected, it'll be a life experience and we're still working from home so I won't see him and I can just ignore his messages on our GC etc. Also I can leave the company if ever, but honestly, I don't want another job til I become a trainee solicitor, I just really want a raise.

.

4/11/20

So today seems like the first anniversary of Entry 50, where we both said we preferred American Pancakes and when he waved goodbye to me. 😂

Haaaayyy, if only things were different now... But really, it will be hard for me to delete these entries if ever he does reject me. Or maybe I'll just forget about this blog for a few years until I find my special someone and I'll be more okay with deleting these entries.

Also, he started playing Hollow Knight, hahah same like xD

.

3/12/20

It's been 3 months since last talked and it's been sad, ish but not too bothered.

So I decided I was going to finally ask him in the new year and decided to give myself a deadline of January 15. At this point, I just really don't care anymore, I want to get it over and done. If he doesn't reciprocate then that's okay.

BUUUUTTTTT 2 new QA roles opened up for our project and I heard it's being fast tracked where interviews are likely to take place in 2 weeks time because of new people joining the project. I am really confident about it this time and if I do get it, my ultimatum now is if I don't start my QA role by January 15, I am still going ahead with it. But even still, I still kinda want to go ahead with it, what harm can 1 date do? If we do go on more, we'd definitely need to inform the higher ups because they may not let me be his QA.

Anyways, I really hope I do get this because it really is my time.

.

14/12/20

Like seriously, why is my intuition of him leaving in January so so so strong? I guess we'll see when our January schedule is released.

PS I have my QA interview tomorrow again and I am dying. Everything will be okay.

.

15/12/20

Yep, butchered the interview so hey Chad, I am definitely going to ask you out on January 😂

[abelknightroad]

20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are

1. You paid the bills this month, and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities. It doesn’t matter how much you belabored the checks as they went out, the point is that they did, and you figured it out regardless.

2. You question yourself. You doubt your life. You feel miserable some days. This means you’re still open to growth. This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there’s another way.”

3. You have a job. For however many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, wear something every day. It’s not failure if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would – you’re valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.

4. You have time to do something you enjoy. Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching Netflix.

5. You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from. There’s food in the fridge or pantry, and you have enough to actually pick and choose what you want to eat.

6. You can eat because you enjoy it. It’s not a matter of sheer survival.

7. You have one or two truly close friends. People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feel intimacy, acceptance, community, or joy. At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.

8. You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning. The smallest conveniences (and oftentimes, necessities) are not variables for you.

9. You’re not the same person you were a year ago. You’re learning, and evolving, and can identify the ways in which you’ve changed for better and worse.

10. You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum. You’ve maybe been to a concert in the last few years, you buy books for yourself, you could take a day trip to a neighboring city if you wanted – you don’t have to work all hours of the day to survive.

11. You have a selection of clothing at your disposal. You aren’t worried about having a hat or gloves in a blizzard, you have cool clothes for the summer and something to wear to a wedding. You not only can shield and decorate your body, but can do so appropriately for a variety of circumstances.

12. You can sense what isn’t right in your life. The first and most crucial step is simply being aware. Being able to communicate to yourself: “something is not right, even though I am not yet sure what would feel better.”

13. If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.” So often people carry their past traumas into their present lives, and if you want any proof that we carry who we were in who we are, all you need to do is see how you respond to your inner child hearing, you’re going to be okay, from the person they became.

14. You have a space of your own. It doesn’t even have to be a home or apartment (but that’s great if it is). All you need is a room, a corner, a desk, where you can create or rest at your discretion; where you govern who gets to be part of your weird little world, and to what capacity. It’s one of the few controls we can actually exert.

15. You’ve lost relationships. More important than the fact that you’ve simply had them in the first place is that you or your former partner chose not to settle. You opened yourself to the possibility of something else being out there.

16. You’re interested in something. Whether it’s now how to live a happier life, maintain better relationships, reading or movies or sex or society or the axis on which the world spins, something intrigues you to explore it.

17. You know how to take care of yourself. You know how many hours of sleep you need to feel okay the next day, who to turn to when you’re heartbroken, what you have fun doing, what to do when you don’t feel well, etc.

18. You’re working toward a goal. Even if you’re exhausted and it feels miles away, you have a dream for yourself, however vague and malleable.

19. But you’re not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future. Some of the happiest and best adjusted people are the ones who can make any situation an ideal, who are too immersed in the moment to intricately plan and decidedly commit to any one specific outcome.

20. You’ve been through some crap. You can look at challenges you currently face and compare them to ones you thought you’d never get over. You can reassure yourself through your own experience. Life did not get easier, you got smarter.

[shslweddings]

im pouring a drink already

Assume unless stated otherwise that these are kinda more referencing the tadashi that came into mutual killing, rather than... whatever hell development he’s dragging his ass through rn. even i can never tell where that’s gonna settle now. wyd

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Tadashi has a... lot of siblings (an older brother, an older sister, and two younger twin brothers), and they’re all decently close to his age; no like six year gaps or anything with him. Though he’s ‘eh’ about his siblings at absolute best, he was always closest to his brother Dachi in the sense that he perhaps got along the best with him. This might, admittedly, have only been because Dachi - in his position as the oldest child and the one most trusted with the rest of the kids by their parents often - frequently made sure he was as involved with all his siblings and looking out for them as much as he could be in this hellscape, but hey. Still counts.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Pretty good actually! His mother was always the better parent at picking out tiny kinda being an antisocial shit who never really got up to much Tadashi, and as a result was generally the one to give him the most attention there. She’s also the one that introduced him to photography for the first time in her own idea, so she was generally the one Tadashi, in all his goddamn proud child glory, ended up talking to and showing off that stuff to. She’d never become mother of the year, and could seem as detached from Tadashi as the best of them sometimes in his eyes among all the other surrounding crap in both their lives, but they did always have that link at least. 

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Limited. While both of Tadashi’s parents were pretty goddamn busy people, his father was even less available to him than his mother: his sister Sayaka had the role of ‘dad’s girl’ absolutely on lock down, so any free moment the man had was focused around her pursuits 9 times out of 10. Tadashi and his father didn’t violently disagree or anything, but they didn’t... actually get on a great deal either. There just... wasn’t really anything there to write about, to be honest. 

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Not exactly. He’s seen the aftermath of some shit that’s kinda hammered home some ideas on things, really, but that’s not the same as seeing the actual thing go down itself. 

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Tadashi’s an organised kind of guy (no shit), so you can generally find him with most of the things he needs for the day in a bag of some kind as opposed to pockets (with the exception of his phone and whatever notebook he has; he prefers having that to hand). But an average day outside of mutual killing normally involves Tadashi doing his job in some capacity, so you can usually find some odd job related items lurking in his pockets: dead batteries he dropped in there while changing them that he forgot about, crumpled up notes he tore out when he was done with them but didn’t want to just drop on the floor, something to write with. Not too exciting, honestly.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Not that he’s noticed- Tadashi doesn’t tend to remember his dreams, as he tends to fall asleep so quickly and hard for such short periods of time (outside the game anyway).

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

see above

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope! no gundash today

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Not particularly? Sure, he lives with a different branch of his family now than he did while growing up, but honestly in this side of affairs there’s not really much difference. Unless you count earning for himself more, which is... actually rapidly picking up. those high profile clients willing to spend a bunch huh

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

He generally ends up striking a weird kinda balance, but leaning towards the side of ‘more’. More clothing makes him feel more secure, in a way, because this boy ain’t that good at suddenly being touched never mind bare skin being got at all of a sudden, even if it’s just a stranger accidentally brushing his arm in a crowd. But there’s some things he’s more accepting of or prefers not being covered: he doesn’t like long sleeves, for example, because he just feels that it gets more in the way of him doing his job efficiently. 

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

it’s actually in game so oops

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

A distinct moment can’t... really be picked out, to be honest, because Tadashi can remain so damn calm in situations that he really has no business being. time to watch ryouji die over and over with a blank fuckign expression 

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

He only gets a bit weirded out by the sight if it appears to be from a head wound, but even that isn’t too obviously bad. Tadashi really isn’t that bothered by blood. It’s just kinda... there.

fake blood that someone’s spread around for a case is a different matter entirely goddamn he’s still pissed

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Good at both, but slightly better with names. You might think faces, given his talent, but Tadashi winds up working with a lot of people, and he prefers taking notes to keep track of everything, so he tends to work attributing things he thinks of (like what he needs to bring up to a client next) to written down names rather than faces. 

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Not really. It’s just not really something that’s cropped up in Tadashi’s life too much: not because he has a massive excess of money or anything, but he’s just kinda... accepted his lot in life, really. Besides. He finds he has a lot more shit to focus on in a day than deciding what the hell to buy for himself or ask for, because it just doesn’t really happen (also? Preferences are hard. Don’t take this guy shopping.)

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Success: much like the previous point, Tadashi had really just kinda fucking accepted that this is where his lucky life had led him, so happiness was kinda... locked in at just sticking to himself and not being murdered or putting himself into a further uncomfortable position or anything? Jesus

plus success kinda always brought a bit more attention which does make him happy lmao

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

If you would count a disposable camera as a toy for a child, then that. If you don’t, then he didn’t really have one: keeping your own toys for yourself is kinda hard when you have four siblings, and he was one of those kids that preferred reading over anything else anyway. 

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition has its place, but wisdom; Tadashi can respect people he sees as actually clued in and somewhat logical and such. 

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

tadashi’s biggest relationship flaw is actually embracing getting into the relationship itself which leads into them being destroyed before they even really have a chance to start. oops.

(life is full of surprises huh) 

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Tadashi very much tends to hop back and forth between self validation and criticism, really, both in the comparison of different things. The validation comes from lining up his thought processes to those of others; namely, those who he finds an absolute joke at the current moment for whatever reason. Crit, meanwhile... well. In the last (non in VR) year Tadashi’s become taken with the idea of making himself a ‘better person’, and this decision comes with the habit of comparing how he’s acting towards or in something to how someone else he considers better with people or whatever might, in some kind of harsh reflection. Whichever one he goes for is context dependant on the harshness and personal involvement of a situation he’s in, and sometimes one can lead into the other.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Difficult- Tadashi’s never going to be one to say he deserved something (with perhaps the exception of the self crit described above; he can recognise sometimes when he may have been a bit shitty or gone too close to a line), but he does believe or know that his luck is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE... but it’s not like he caused this luck himself. So maybe he sits somewhere inbetween these options here.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Tadashi really values someone who obviously puts work into actually thinking; it was mentioned earlier, but he respects logical people a lot, and those who actually think through a situation or whatever. He also enjoys those who can get on the same level of wry bullshit with him; Tadashi has a very dry sense of humour, so if you have the same sense of humour or can at least run with it, he’ll like that. As much of a good person as he might consider you to be, if you’re very naive and don’t ever really appear to think (or be a little critical, of people or otherwise), he’s... gonna get bored. 

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

this is too long a list he’s so bad genuinely with people

Though to actually get specialised and cut out what he might just, say, feel exasperated by or made uncomfortable around, Tadashi really doesn’t like people who just totally focus on themselves.. because they ignore him completely. 

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

slow

as

hell

Genuine trust is not a fast thing to get from Tadashi Matsuo. If you do, it’s because someone he somehow already trusts has kinda recommended you here. But you might not get it even then. 

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

In a natural opposite of above, Tadashi is very quick to suspect people’s intentions through... well, it might be faster to ask what not through. Changing depending on closeness is... weird, and depends on whether you’re getting mutually close with him or if you’re the only one putting in the effort to get to know each other here. He’s faster to suspect you if it’s just you pushing in. why is such a nightmare to get to know

26. How does your character behave around children?

As neutrally as you’d expect anyone to, really, though with an added touch of neutrality on Tadashi’s side: if he’s around children, it’s most likely because they’re at the event he’s photographing, so he kinda needs to remain professional and get the hell on with his job. At least he doesn’t snap at them.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Sarcasm and insults disguised underneath generic exasperation if he’s initiating it; if it’s directed at him first he varies depending on how much he’s been annoyed up to that point. Either way, he’ll get himself over it later by dragging you a bit mentally while he seethes, probably. at kindest

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

It’s a last resort unless it’s called for immediately, like him actually being physically attacked. Only because Tadashi is fully aware of his status as a noodle boy with practically zero athletic ability though, as opposed to having anything against violence or whatever.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

He... didn’t, really. Tadashi was always one of those kids that had absolutely no idea what their dream job was, and was much better at picking out what he didn’t want to do such as becoming an athlete of any kind. You could argue that the fact he’s very likely to be able to pursue professional photography at this point in his life would count, as he does genuinely like photography and he would be quite happy to continue with that (with the wedding shit at least toned down, maybe), but he didn’t exactly rock up to class as a kid saying he wanted to do that as his dream. Just kinda developed slowly really.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Not too much outside of standard things, really. Easily grossed out by having to put his hands in disgusting stuff, that kinda thing.

yes he’s still pissed about that fake blood

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

The ‘rest days’ he takes the day after working all of yesterday at a wedding feel very comfortable to Tadashi. Though he’s literally just taking the day to rest and recover from all the effort, essentially, it’s incredible comfortable just in the sense that it feels like the only kind of day he can have without any kind of work pressures, and no-one’s going to get on his back about it. He can really just leave all that crap and take a day really to himself. confy

as the mutual killing game progresses this is actually developing a bit because hey he... might actually like other people around?? goddamn

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Not going too deep, but any situation that involves someone being incredibly insistent on getting to know him, essentially.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Depends how the criticism is delivered- he’s likely going to feel stung either way, and possibly wind up kicking himself over how he’s been depending on what it’s about, but how it’s delivered really does affect his response (especially if he’s really just starting to work on getting to you properly and is relaxing into it more; that’s when he’s going to be the most naturally defensive over criticism of himself). As a general rule, he’s going to be more willing to improve with less of the sense that you’re just going directly for his throat. 

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Immediately move on. If Tadashi’s trying something, he’s more than likely to have tried to plan it out to some degree beforehand. So if it’s not working, he must have gotten something wrong in that process, and it would be much better to go back to the drawing board rather than continually try something that’s clearly not going to work. 

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

If Tadashi is starting to genuinely like someone, there’s a large chance that he’ll start to slip more and more into actually acting like himself, because if he likes you? He’s kinda picked up the vibe that he can be more comfortable like that around you. As a result though, he’ll be acting kiiinda tentatively, in the event that the person kinda just... turns around and says Hey Um You’re Actually A Pretty Shitty Guy. That aside though, he’ll be behaving much more freely in terms of being sarcastic and wry, and also he’ll be much more toned down in how ^-^ he can appear. 

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Depends on context (work versus trial, for example) and how worked up he’s actually getting if it’s the latter kind of context: he’s either just with the usual superficial polite act and actively trying to stop himself going further, or he’s a lot more scathing of the person than he would be normally right to their face. Very much a ‘I don’t have time for this’ sense.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Protecting his status. If Tadashi’s gotten to some kind of status, he probably feels like he’s put in a fucking lot of work to get there, and as a result would want to defend that place as much as possible.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Honestly it kind of depends on what the problem or threat is, and how involved he is with it personally. The more personally involved he is with it, the more likely he is to swing towards removing the problem/threat. If he’s less involved and just figures it would be pretty stupid to throw himself into this potentially dangerous situation or stay in it, he’s much more likely to just remove himself from it.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

When Tadashi was younger his sister thought it would be fun to throw a very defensive street cat in his direction. 

Tadashi’s never liked cats since. 

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

As respectfully as he can, actually, even with the way he usually acts to people he doesn’t really know. He kinda gets the whole idea of consistently dealing with people you might not be able to stand.  

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Perhaps leaning a little more towards deserve, but not really either of them, particularly? Sure, Tadashi’s in a place after a bunch of shit in his life (or lack of it, in some cases) where he certainly would like to get some things, and might feel he deserves them at this point. But he also recognises that he does work in a field that kinda hard in terms of staying at the top of it, so there’s a sense of needing to earn things there. 

Which is also kinda weird because he wasn’t really trying to become a HPA recognised photographer or anything and was just kinda accepting this job as his life but that’s a totally different fact. 

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Nope. He hasn’t lived with his parents in a while, but those who took him in are actually related to him, so can’t really count that.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Not that he’s acutely aware of, anyway.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Very difficult, but only in the sense of actually working him into a position where, y’know, he might actually say that kind of thing- both in terms of actually somehow pulling off getting into a relationship with him and him being absolutely sure that if he comes out with it you’ll... probably feel the same. It’s quite possible that he’s been sat on it for a while but just doesn’t dare say it In Case. vulnerable boy. He’s never going to be the kind of person who idly says they love a friend as just a goodbye or anything; if he’s saying it, he means it. 

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Nothing. That’s honestly it- Tadashi’s never been a fan of what he likes to call ‘otherworldly’ concepts like fate and such, and any kind of afterlife tends to fall into that category, so he both doesn’t really believe anything will happen whatsoever and he doesn’t really think about it. As a kind of result of this, he’s not exactly scared of it. 

[sealgirl96-blog]

wednesday 11th january 2017, 20:02

So, this was meant to be a daily journal, but I haven’t written for over a month... sorry! Long story short, the wifi did cut out, just in perfect timing for finals, which literally drained me (I think I must have pulled at least 4 all-nighters in the space of a week... even the regulars at the 24hr café began to recognise me). Then I spent Christmas with Mum in Quebec, went back to London for New Years’ for a week, and now I’m back this side of the Atlantic again. Although I do wish I’d updated on the past few week as it was happening, I hate for diary entries to just be massive catch-ups, so I’m just going to write about the very recent past. (There aren’t any hugely exciting gaps to fill in, don’t worry.)

I flew back on Saturday. It’s weird coming back to Canada this time around. Remembering how last time I made that journey, and travelled what felt like a huge, huge distance, I had absolutely no idea what the next four months held; what the city looked and felt like, where I would live, what school would be like, and I didn’t even know a single person. Now this time, having done a long-haul flight to London a week prior, the journey didn’t seem that arduous, I just whiled the hours away on the plane snoozing and watching Sex and the City, then hopped off (no painfully long immigration to go through), and took two buses to my cosy little apartment and bed. How can somewhere that once felt so unknown feel just like home?

I can’t lie, I’m quite glad to be back. I’m always less sad about that than I think I will be - leaving Mum, leaving London, and knowing it’s going to be for a while. Since this is the longest and the furthest away I’ve ever been, it’s hard to know whether it’s just because I like this place, or because I underestimated my capacity for not getting homesick. Maybe both.

I don’t miss London right now. I don’t think I was there long enough to really get into the swing of things. When I first got back, I hated it. It felt like I was wearing grey-tinted glasses - I know it was especially foggy that day, but in comparison to here it just seemed so dirty, grey, and polluted. I was walking down Holloway Road, thinking, did I really grow up here? I honestly think you just become accustomed to it when you live there. And then when you consider the fact that I pay 1/4 of the rent I would pay living in London, and for a nice place, in a great area, too. I do love London because it’s London and it’s home, but living there at this (financially unstable) stage in your life is becoming harder and harder to justify.

Seeing my friends soon alleviated my sadness though, and I can’t lie, NYE was good. Just got extremely waved with the girls and went to some punk night in Hackney. We thought it might be a risk, punk, but it wasn’t even bad at all, and they were playing other stuff too. They played David Bowie - Let’s Dance when it turned 2017. Hanging out with good friends is the one thing I do miss, and regret not doing more of last week. I had this shitty flu which incapacitated me for a few days (probably that London pollution) and NYE was the only night I actually went out. It’s bittersweet in a way, because I did want to come back here, but then that had to be in the knowledge that I wouldn’t see certain people for a really long time.

Class started this week. I’ve liberally arranged my timetable so that I have Monday and Friday off, and I know I won’t regret that later on. Since last term was quite challenging, I was going to try and only take easier modules this term, but that turned out to be a logical impossibility, especially if I wanted those two days off. I know it sounds like I’m just trying to cut corners, but it’s more like I’m just trying to not make life unnecessarily hard for myself, because I’m finding studying in a foreign language quite hard as it is. It’s a pass/fail year and all modules are weighted equally, so I would get the same amount of credits for an easier module as I would a harder one. But anyway, I just ended up with 2 harder / 2 easier like last term (sorry, boring, who cares, I’m literally just writing this for my own benefit, ok.) The term ahead does look quite difficult, but it could be manageable. I just wish I had a stronger work ethic. As it stands, I literally have the worst work ethic known to mankind.

Last night I went for drinks with three of the Brits and one Canadian. It was Tom’s birthday incidentally, but I don’t think he would have done anything for it if Rory hadn’t otherwise suggested drinks. I do like Rory, but the others... it’s like I said before... I find it hard to have a connection with people with whom the sole basis of our friendship is nationality. As a result, the banter was a little bit dead. We went to the (really corny) Irish pub because Rory’s friend worked there. Who doesn’t work at the Irish pub, to be honest? It’s actually such a small world, this city. The Canadian guy we were with also works there, my ex-flatmate Nick works there and my also-now-ex-flatmate Mary’s friend Tony who I went on one date with and never spoke to again works there. I was praying the latter wouldn’t be there as it would have made for a very awkward encounter... I guess my prayers were answered, thanks, God!

Rors convinced us all to go on this ski trip... I’ve never skied, I’m so so scared o of making an ass out of myself, but apparently people mainly go for the atmosphere. We would all share a chalet and I think it would actually be super fun. It’s also quite cheap (for a ski trip) but my heart rate does increase slightly when I think about my finances over the coming months. I can’t currently get a job on my visa, but I mean to send it off and hopefully have it amended so that I can - but even still, I don’t know how easy it would be to find one, not being perfectly bilingual. With NYC and now possibly this ski trip, my bank account is really not looking pleased with me at the moment. I transferred some of my savings over, but my student loan mainly served to clear my overdraft. This one time, AB said that he wanted to take a trip to Iceland this summer - and I know it was just said in passing and he’s probably forgotten, but obviously it’s stuck in my mind since. If he was still up for going, and I couldn’t afford it, that would be a serious bummer. And if he offered to help me pay or something, that would just be awkward! He’s not my sugar daddy! Anyway, I’m getting way ahead of myself here. We shall even have to see about the ski trip, as Agata might not even be able to go since it’s in Vermont, and unlike us Brits, she can’t get a visa waiver to travel to the States. I don’t think I would go if she doesn’t.

In other news, we have a new flatmate, Josie, who has replaced Mary. It’s hard to gauge too much this early on, but the more time I spend with her, the more I begin to miss Mary. I mean, for example, she just wandered into my room to ask me to wash up my dishes in the sink, from a few hours ago. A) Has she heard of knocking? B) Is she my mother? C) Not all of those dishes were mine, in fact, some of them were hers from dinner last night, and D) Does it even matter, does it need to be done this instant?! Mary would never do that!!  The thing about the old set-up before Josie is that we were all on the same wavelength. I could sense it from the first time I met those guys. There was kind of a mutual understanding that we were all as ‘messy’ as one another (which isn’t even that messy, by the way.) I knew from the initial skype interview with Josie that she wasn’t quite on our wavelength, and it’s already beginning to show in subtle ways. This is why I much preferred the other flatmate candidate, Emma, but the votes were in Josie’s favour. I just hope it doesn’t culminate in one big argument or something one day.

To be fair, I suppose you could do a lot worse for a flatmate. I should be thankful that she’s clean and tidy and doesn’t like, play the drums or something. She also invited me to her friend’s gig tomorrow, so I guess that’s nice. It’s a brother and sister duo, though. Um, no comment.

P.S. By the way, in case anyone cared (they definitely didn’t), I’m not pregnant. I had two massive spells of bleeding over Christmas (I guess you could call it the festive period lmao - sorry, worst joke ever...) I swear I always think I’m pregnant, maybe subconsciously I love the drama. But what the fuck is the mini pill doing to my hormones, that I can just have random, really long, really heavy periods? It makes me want to go back to the combined, so that I can regulate my periods - but then I couldn’t smoke. Or ideally, stop loading my body up with artificial hormones altogether, but then I would just have to have regular periods, and use a condom on the rare occasion that I get laid. Is there any ideal form of birth control? Someone help!

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Yoga Quotes

Official Website: Yoga Quotes

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• A lot of people have come to Krishna consciousness through prasadam. I mean, this process is the only kind of yoga that you can actually practice by eating. – Mukunda Goswami • According to the yoga tradition, fear is the source of disease, decay – physical harm, when we’re not thriving. And then finally, it’s even the cause of death. – Rod Stryker • Basketball is an endurance sport, and you have to learn to control your breath; that’s the essence of yoga, too. So, I consciously began using yoga techniques in my practice and playing. I think yoga helped reduce the number and severity of injuries I suffered. As preventative medicine, it’s unequaled. – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar • By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. – Phillip Moffitt

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Yoga', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_yoga').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_yoga img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer, Crying includes all the principles of Yoga. – Kripalvananda • Definitely, I think it’s much more acceptable, the idea of meditation or yoga. The idea of God trying to contact the soul within ourselves. Back in the 60s it was a bit like, you know , the hippies or the philosophers were the only people. – George Harrison • Exercises are like prose, whereas yoga is the poetry of movements. – Amit Ray • Exercises are like prose, whereas yoga is the poetry of movements. Once you understand the grammar of yoga; you can write your poetry of movements. – Amit Ray • Hatha Yoga teaches us to use the body as the bow, asana as the arrow, and the soul the target. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Have you ever seen the stereotype of the angry yoga teacher? There are some people that are at an 11 and yoga takes them down to a nine. That’s me. – Jen Kirkman • Health is wealth. Peace of mind is happiness. Yoga shows the way. – Vishnudevananda Saraswati • I always tell people, I can’t teach you yoga. Nobody can teach you yoga. I can’t teach you to teach yoga. All I can do is teach you a set of instructions and if you follow these instructions, hopefully it will lead you to the experience of yoga. – Beryl Bender Birch • I do an early morning meditation from 4am to 6am, a yoga class from 6am to 7am and then set an intention to feel joyful and energetic in my body and loving and compassionate in my heart. For the rest of the day, I just go with the flow. – Deepak Chopra • I do Ashtanga yoga three times a week, and I run a couple of times a week, too. I really like yoga; I enjoy the actual doing of it, so it doesn’t feel like the agony of the gym felt like to me. – Julianne Moore • I don’t want to have strong arms, like you get from Pilates or yoga. But dancing arms become your best accessory. And it’s great for your core muscles. – Natalia Vodianova • I get up in the morning and do a seven-minute yoga workout. I know the most likely time I’m going to do something is when I first get up, and I make it short because, like you, I don’t really want to do that first thing in the morning. – Mehmet Oz • I hate yoga pants anywhere but the gym. – Robin Givhan • I have a spiritual practice which helps to keep me grounded and centered. Yoga is vital because it keeps me in full awareness and connection with my breath. I keep a gratitude log, which helps to remind me of all the blessings I experience daily. – Grace Gealey • I have been practising yoga for over a decade now, and it is a very important part of my life. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I am doing, yoga gives me the opportunity to switch off and focus entirely on my body and my breath. Yoga allows me to meditate and reflect on what’s important in my life. It is also great for core strength and maintaining agility. – Miranda Kerr • I know everyone says they go to yoga, but I actually really go. I notice that helps me so much. – Jen Kirkman • I really think there’s an evolution to the practice and the individual no matter what brings you in, whether it’s wine and yoga or chocolate and yoga or surfing and yoga. – Beryl Bender Birch • I run about four days per week and do some sort of hike or yoga/stretching on the other three. Kind of self-propelling my body and muscles forward in my own controlled chaos helps me find the ground a little bit easier on the daily. – Madi Diaz • I started doing yoga in my 20s. I did teacher training, that was what I was going to do if acting didn’t work out. I started teaching other actors right at the beginning of the yoga craze – people still thought it was a little weird, but a lot of actors I knew were getting into it and didn’t want to look foolish in class. So I started teaching them! – Kristin Davis • I started doing yoga. – Carnie Wilson • I started teaching yoga in 1974 in Colorado, I was living in Winter Park, and I started teaching skiers. At that point I was teaching more of the Sivananda system and just pushing it up a little bit to make it a little more rajasic a little more active, a little more physical. People would come, and feel great, and by the time I left Colorado in 1980 I’d taught pretty much everyone in town – the ski patrol, ski instructors, the bar owners. – Beryl Bender Birch • I think actors have to have clear goals in term of fitness, I think it is very important. I did yoga very seriously and I think that is a wonderful exercise. I take tennis lessons, and I swim a lot. – Rosamund Pike • I try to do a lot of yoga and meditation. I think now it’s creating things in times of waiting. – Emma Stone • I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I’m looking out of my third eye and everything that I’m supposed to be doing. It’s amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. “Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama’s got the magic of Clorox 2.”- Ellen DeGeneres • I went to yoga for six months straight, but that was about five years ago! I’ve been trying to get back. I probably could’ve seen the President five times, it’d be easier than it has been to get back to yoga! – Mike Ness • If we practice the science of yoga, which is useful to the entire human community and which yields happiness both here and hereafter – if we practice it without fail, we will then attain physical, mental, and spiritual happiness, and our minds will flood towards the Self. – K. Pattabhi Jois • In middle age I’ve begun to embrace stress reducing behaviors. Just in doing yoga, for example, my health has improved dramatically. – James Redford • In the end, yoga for me is all about three things: more joy; being able to collect your capacity so you can have more of what you want in real terms; and ultimately – this may be the most important of it all – less fear. – Rod Stryker • In the practice of Yoga one can emphasize the body, the mind or the self and hence the effort can never be fruitless. – Tirumalai Krishnamacharya • In the same way that the physical practice of yoga so effectively benefits your body and mind, the larger science of yoga is similarly powerful in unlocking the vast potentials of your body, mind and spirit to help you achieve your best life imaginable. – Rod Stryker • In yoga you reach your arms to the heavens and the universe smiles back at you. – Diamond Dallas Page • India’s had two groovy moments. Once when the Beatles went to India and now when Madonna has embraced yoga. – Padma Lakshmi • It’s like crazy how many different kinds of yoga there are. And now that they have it for surfers and for this one and for that one. – Diamond Dallas Page • I’ve done a little yoga, not as a professional, and every time I have a good teacher I see the immense possibilities and subtleties in this discipline. It’s a little bit like music. – Laura Huxley • Lots of media people ask me what do you think of yoga in the gyms, and what do you think about this article and what do you think about that, and how about it’s so commercial now. I say, look, whatever gets people turned on to it. – Beryl Bender Birch • My Yoga practice is number one, straight physical exercises are number two, and when I can do neither, I focus on the breath. Make sure I drink enough water and get enough sleep. – Leilani Bishop • Now I know why yoga is so life-giving for so many. I have never experienced a practice that combines such physical challenge and spiritual wellbeing in my life. – Emily Saliers • Our feelings can be hurt, but you can take a yoga class, you can pray, you can play some basketball – you can figure out things for your hurt feelings. – Killer Mike • Practice means making an effort to keep your mind steady. Yoga is about learning to pay attention. That’s what drives transformation. – Beryl Bender Birch • Practicing yoga during the day is a matter of keeping your eyes on the road and one ear turned toward the infinite. – Erich Schiffmann • She [Mandy Ingber] brought yoga into my life. It completely changed my life . . . It’s one of the most fun workouts I’ve ever had . . . So have fun and work hard because it will totally pay off. – Jennifer Aniston • Sometimes I do yoga, sometimes it’s kickboxing, sometimes it’s weight training, sometimes it’s Pilates. – Paula Patton • Stretching [and] yoga [are] very helpful. All of these things – they really do help. Good food and a lot of sleep. And reading – reading good books. Sometimes movies – although a lot of the movies are difficult. – Alice Walker • That’s exactly how it is in yoga. The places where you have the most resistance are actually the places that are going to be the areas of the greatest liberation. – Rodney Yee • The goal of yoga according to Patanjali I am told is citta vrtti nirodha, which means to be silent or free from mental fluctuations. – Bryan Kest • The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. – Rodney Yee • The practice of Yoga brings us face to face with the extraordinary complexity of our own being. – Sri Aurobindo • The practice of yoga certainly is a fantastic practice. I only wish I would do it more. I find I can do it alone but it is much better if I have some guidance. Although I can do it alone it is a little bit sloppy. Ultimately, all of those techniques try to bring more oxygen to the brain. We can think and love better if we have more oxygen. – Laura Huxley • The principle of Yoga is the turning of one or of all powers of our human existence into a means of reaching divine Being. – Sri Aurobindo • The Self in you is the same as the Self Universal. Whatever powers are manifested throughout the world, those powers exist in germ, in latency, in you…. If you realize the unity of the Self amid the diversities of the Not-Self, then Yoga Will not seem an impossible thing to you. – Annie Besant • The true purpose of yoga is to discover that aspect of your being that can never be lost. – Deepak Chopra • The ultimate essence of yoga is the contact and the union between the individual consciousness and the divine consciousness. – Raphael • The yoga tradition provides one of humankind’s most effective systems for achieving enrichment and happiness in every aspect of life. – Rod Stryker • This is what our yoga practice is trying to accomplish. Not white light descending from heaven and engulfing you, not energy released from the base of your spine going up through your crown chakra so you become a human lightening bolt, not a halo floating on top of your head. Simply heightened states of awareness, enlightenment, becoming more and more aware which gives more and more insight, which brings wisdom and gives choice. With that wisdom and choice, we become the masters of our destiny and at peace in our life. – Bryan Kest • This practice of yoga is to remove the weeds from the body so that the garden can grow. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Through Yoga, anybody can attain; it’s a God realisation; you just practise Yoga and if you really mean it, then you’ll do it. There’s Yogis that have done it to such a degree that they’re God, they’re like Christ and they can walk on the water and materialise bodies and they can do all those tricks. – George Harrison • What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They’re like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don’t think of as malleable. – Stephen Colbert • What we’re trying to do in yoga is to create a union, and so to deepen a yoga pose is to actually increase the union of the pose, not necessarily put your leg around your head. – Rodney Yee • What yoga philosophy and all the great Buddhist teachings tells us is that solidity is a creation of the ordinary mind and that there never was anything permanent to begin with that we could hold on to. Life would be much easier and substantially less painful if we lived with the knowledge of impermanence as the only constant. – Donna Farhi • When this body has been so magnificently and artistically created by God, it is only fitting that we should maintain it in good health and harmony by the most excellent and artistic science of Yoga. – Geeta Iyengar • Where is the delusion when truth is known? Where is the disease when the mind is clear? Where is death when the Breath is controlled? Therefore surrender to Yoga. – Tirumalai Krishnamacharya • While I’ve always been critical about this peddling of spiritual materialism, it wasn’t until I went to Nepal that I came face-to-face with my own spiritual materialism. The thing is, Kathmandu is noisy, and dusty, and crowded, and everywhere you go you see these same Western yoga teachers, hashish-smoking backpackers, and fair-trade shop owners, all seeking the stalls filled with amazing Buddha statues, hand carved mirrors, beautiful yak scarves, and thangka paintings. And everyone is buying stuff! – Alexander Weinstein • Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day-to-day life and endows skill in the performance of one’s actions. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga does not remove us from the reality or responsibilities of everyday life but rather places our feet firmly and resolutely in the practical ground of experience. We don’t transcend our lives; we return to the life we left behind in the hopes of something better. – Donna Farhi • Yoga doesn’t ask you to be more than you are. But it does ask you to be all that you are. – Bryan Kest • Yoga has brought me to the part of religion I really like – the positive sides of religion, the parts we all share, rather than the things that create separation. – Christy Turlington • Yoga ia a way of moving into stillness in order to experience the truth of who you are. – Erich Schiffmann • Yoga in Mayfair or Fifth Avenue, or in any other place which is on the telephone, is a spiritual fake. – Carl Jung • Yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory. – K. Pattabhi Jois • Yoga is a light, which once lit, will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter the flame. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is a mirror to look at ourselves from within. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is a natural thing. – Laura Huxley • Yoga is a science, and not a vague dreamy drifting or imagining. – Annie Besant • Yoga is a science, and not a vague dreamy drifting or imagining. It is an applied science, a systematized collection of laws applied to bring about a definite end. It takes up the laws of psychology, applicable to the unfolding of the whole consciousness of man on every plane, in every world, and applies those rationally in a particular case. This rational application of the laws of unfolding consciousness acts exactly on the same principles that you see applied around you every day in other departments of science. – Annie Besant • Yoga is a way to freedom. By its constant practice, we can free ourselves from fear, anguish and loneliness. – Indra Devi • Yoga is about awakening. Yoga is about creating a life that brings more beauty and more love into the world. – John Friend • Yoga is almost like music in a way; there’s no end to it. – Sting • Yoga is for internal cleansing, not external exercising. Yoga means true self-knowledge. – K. Pattabhi Jois • Yoga is like music: the rhythm of the body, the melody of the mind, and the harmony of the soul create the symphony of life. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is not a means to get SOMEWHERE as if you were not SOMEWHERE already. It is your direct and intimate participation with Life. – Mark Whitwell • Yoga is not a religion. It is a science, science of well-being, science of youthfulness, science of integrating body, mind, and soul. – Amit Ray • Yoga is not about touching your toes. It’s about unlocking your ideas about what you want, where you think you can go, and how you will achieve it when you get there. – Cyndi Lee • Yoga is possible for anybody who really wants it. Yoga is universal…. But don’t approach yoga with a business mind looking for worldly gain. – K. Pattabhi Jois • Yoga is the fountain of youth. You’re only as young as your spine is flexible. – Bob Harper • Yoga is the golden key that unlocks the door to peace, tranquility and joy. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is the stilling of the fluctuations of the mind. – Patanjali • Yoga never calms me. Ever. But it certainly helps me prevent something. – Jen Kirkman • Yoga practice seems to be used to access some deeper dimension or some enlightened state. Understand right now there is no connection between flexibility and enlightenment. – Bryan Kest • Yoga stimulates different nerves in your body, especially the Vagus nerve that carries information from the brain to most of the body’s major organs, slows everything down and allows self-regulation. It’s the nerve that is associated with the parasympathetic system and emotions like love, joy and compassion. – Deepak Chopra • Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga teaches you how to listen to your body. – Mariel Hemingway • Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one’s being, from bodily health to self realization. Yoga means union – the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul. Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day to day life and endows skill in the performance of one’s actions. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one’s being, from bodily health to self-realization. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga’s hard for me, but I know you can really feel the difference when you do it consistently. I’d rather be playing basketball. – Chris Noth • You can enter yoga, or the path of yoga, only when you are totally frustrated with your own mind as it is. If you are still hoping that you can gain something through your mind, yoga is not for you. – Rajneesh • You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. – Sharon Gannon • You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state. – Sharon Gannon • You don’t have to go the gym – just walk 10,000 steps a day and you are activating your good genes. But do practise yoga. – Deepak Chopra • You find this watered-down enlightenment sold in mass quantity at yoga studios, high-priced shamanism retreats, DJ-fueled Ecstatic Dance parties, ayahuasca ceremonies, and self-empowerment seminars. There’s a hope for a quick fix – if only we have the money and right drugs for it. – Alexander Weinstein • You know the bodysuit that I built my line on? . . .That was about me being able to go directly from work to yoga class. It just wasn’t as accepted to talk about then. – Donna Karan [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'i', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_i').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_i img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

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[equitiesstocks]

Yoga Quotes

Official Website: Yoga Quotes

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• A lot of people have come to Krishna consciousness through prasadam. I mean, this process is the only kind of yoga that you can actually practice by eating. – Mukunda Goswami • According to the yoga tradition, fear is the source of disease, decay – physical harm, when we’re not thriving. And then finally, it’s even the cause of death. – Rod Stryker • Basketball is an endurance sport, and you have to learn to control your breath; that’s the essence of yoga, too. So, I consciously began using yoga techniques in my practice and playing. I think yoga helped reduce the number and severity of injuries I suffered. As preventative medicine, it’s unequaled. – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar • By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. – Phillip Moffitt

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Yoga', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_yoga').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_yoga img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer, Crying includes all the principles of Yoga. – Kripalvananda • Definitely, I think it’s much more acceptable, the idea of meditation or yoga. The idea of God trying to contact the soul within ourselves. Back in the 60s it was a bit like, you know , the hippies or the philosophers were the only people. – George Harrison • Exercises are like prose, whereas yoga is the poetry of movements. – Amit Ray • Exercises are like prose, whereas yoga is the poetry of movements. Once you understand the grammar of yoga; you can write your poetry of movements. – Amit Ray • Hatha Yoga teaches us to use the body as the bow, asana as the arrow, and the soul the target. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Have you ever seen the stereotype of the angry yoga teacher? There are some people that are at an 11 and yoga takes them down to a nine. That’s me. – Jen Kirkman • Health is wealth. Peace of mind is happiness. Yoga shows the way. – Vishnudevananda Saraswati • I always tell people, I can’t teach you yoga. Nobody can teach you yoga. I can’t teach you to teach yoga. All I can do is teach you a set of instructions and if you follow these instructions, hopefully it will lead you to the experience of yoga. – Beryl Bender Birch • I do an early morning meditation from 4am to 6am, a yoga class from 6am to 7am and then set an intention to feel joyful and energetic in my body and loving and compassionate in my heart. For the rest of the day, I just go with the flow. – Deepak Chopra • I do Ashtanga yoga three times a week, and I run a couple of times a week, too. I really like yoga; I enjoy the actual doing of it, so it doesn’t feel like the agony of the gym felt like to me. – Julianne Moore • I don’t want to have strong arms, like you get from Pilates or yoga. But dancing arms become your best accessory. And it’s great for your core muscles. – Natalia Vodianova • I get up in the morning and do a seven-minute yoga workout. I know the most likely time I’m going to do something is when I first get up, and I make it short because, like you, I don’t really want to do that first thing in the morning. – Mehmet Oz • I hate yoga pants anywhere but the gym. – Robin Givhan • I have a spiritual practice which helps to keep me grounded and centered. Yoga is vital because it keeps me in full awareness and connection with my breath. I keep a gratitude log, which helps to remind me of all the blessings I experience daily. – Grace Gealey • I have been practising yoga for over a decade now, and it is a very important part of my life. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I am doing, yoga gives me the opportunity to switch off and focus entirely on my body and my breath. Yoga allows me to meditate and reflect on what’s important in my life. It is also great for core strength and maintaining agility. – Miranda Kerr • I know everyone says they go to yoga, but I actually really go. I notice that helps me so much. – Jen Kirkman • I really think there’s an evolution to the practice and the individual no matter what brings you in, whether it’s wine and yoga or chocolate and yoga or surfing and yoga. – Beryl Bender Birch • I run about four days per week and do some sort of hike or yoga/stretching on the other three. Kind of self-propelling my body and muscles forward in my own controlled chaos helps me find the ground a little bit easier on the daily. – Madi Diaz • I started doing yoga in my 20s. I did teacher training, that was what I was going to do if acting didn’t work out. I started teaching other actors right at the beginning of the yoga craze – people still thought it was a little weird, but a lot of actors I knew were getting into it and didn’t want to look foolish in class. So I started teaching them! – Kristin Davis • I started doing yoga. – Carnie Wilson • I started teaching yoga in 1974 in Colorado, I was living in Winter Park, and I started teaching skiers. At that point I was teaching more of the Sivananda system and just pushing it up a little bit to make it a little more rajasic a little more active, a little more physical. People would come, and feel great, and by the time I left Colorado in 1980 I’d taught pretty much everyone in town – the ski patrol, ski instructors, the bar owners. – Beryl Bender Birch • I think actors have to have clear goals in term of fitness, I think it is very important. I did yoga very seriously and I think that is a wonderful exercise. I take tennis lessons, and I swim a lot. – Rosamund Pike • I try to do a lot of yoga and meditation. I think now it’s creating things in times of waiting. – Emma Stone • I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I’m looking out of my third eye and everything that I’m supposed to be doing. It’s amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. “Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama’s got the magic of Clorox 2.”- Ellen DeGeneres • I went to yoga for six months straight, but that was about five years ago! I’ve been trying to get back. I probably could’ve seen the President five times, it’d be easier than it has been to get back to yoga! – Mike Ness • If we practice the science of yoga, which is useful to the entire human community and which yields happiness both here and hereafter – if we practice it without fail, we will then attain physical, mental, and spiritual happiness, and our minds will flood towards the Self. – K. Pattabhi Jois • In middle age I’ve begun to embrace stress reducing behaviors. Just in doing yoga, for example, my health has improved dramatically. – James Redford • In the end, yoga for me is all about three things: more joy; being able to collect your capacity so you can have more of what you want in real terms; and ultimately – this may be the most important of it all – less fear. – Rod Stryker • In the practice of Yoga one can emphasize the body, the mind or the self and hence the effort can never be fruitless. – Tirumalai Krishnamacharya • In the same way that the physical practice of yoga so effectively benefits your body and mind, the larger science of yoga is similarly powerful in unlocking the vast potentials of your body, mind and spirit to help you achieve your best life imaginable. – Rod Stryker • In yoga you reach your arms to the heavens and the universe smiles back at you. – Diamond Dallas Page • India’s had two groovy moments. Once when the Beatles went to India and now when Madonna has embraced yoga. – Padma Lakshmi • It’s like crazy how many different kinds of yoga there are. And now that they have it for surfers and for this one and for that one. – Diamond Dallas Page • I’ve done a little yoga, not as a professional, and every time I have a good teacher I see the immense possibilities and subtleties in this discipline. It’s a little bit like music. – Laura Huxley • Lots of media people ask me what do you think of yoga in the gyms, and what do you think about this article and what do you think about that, and how about it’s so commercial now. I say, look, whatever gets people turned on to it. – Beryl Bender Birch • My Yoga practice is number one, straight physical exercises are number two, and when I can do neither, I focus on the breath. Make sure I drink enough water and get enough sleep. – Leilani Bishop • Now I know why yoga is so life-giving for so many. I have never experienced a practice that combines such physical challenge and spiritual wellbeing in my life. – Emily Saliers • Our feelings can be hurt, but you can take a yoga class, you can pray, you can play some basketball – you can figure out things for your hurt feelings. – Killer Mike • Practice means making an effort to keep your mind steady. Yoga is about learning to pay attention. That’s what drives transformation. – Beryl Bender Birch • Practicing yoga during the day is a matter of keeping your eyes on the road and one ear turned toward the infinite. – Erich Schiffmann • She [Mandy Ingber] brought yoga into my life. It completely changed my life . . . It’s one of the most fun workouts I’ve ever had . . . So have fun and work hard because it will totally pay off. – Jennifer Aniston • Sometimes I do yoga, sometimes it’s kickboxing, sometimes it’s weight training, sometimes it’s Pilates. – Paula Patton • Stretching [and] yoga [are] very helpful. All of these things – they really do help. Good food and a lot of sleep. And reading – reading good books. Sometimes movies – although a lot of the movies are difficult. – Alice Walker • That’s exactly how it is in yoga. The places where you have the most resistance are actually the places that are going to be the areas of the greatest liberation. – Rodney Yee • The goal of yoga according to Patanjali I am told is citta vrtti nirodha, which means to be silent or free from mental fluctuations. – Bryan Kest • The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. – Rodney Yee • The practice of Yoga brings us face to face with the extraordinary complexity of our own being. – Sri Aurobindo • The practice of yoga certainly is a fantastic practice. I only wish I would do it more. I find I can do it alone but it is much better if I have some guidance. Although I can do it alone it is a little bit sloppy. Ultimately, all of those techniques try to bring more oxygen to the brain. We can think and love better if we have more oxygen. – Laura Huxley • The principle of Yoga is the turning of one or of all powers of our human existence into a means of reaching divine Being. – Sri Aurobindo • The Self in you is the same as the Self Universal. Whatever powers are manifested throughout the world, those powers exist in germ, in latency, in you…. If you realize the unity of the Self amid the diversities of the Not-Self, then Yoga Will not seem an impossible thing to you. – Annie Besant • The true purpose of yoga is to discover that aspect of your being that can never be lost. – Deepak Chopra • The ultimate essence of yoga is the contact and the union between the individual consciousness and the divine consciousness. – Raphael • The yoga tradition provides one of humankind’s most effective systems for achieving enrichment and happiness in every aspect of life. – Rod Stryker • This is what our yoga practice is trying to accomplish. Not white light descending from heaven and engulfing you, not energy released from the base of your spine going up through your crown chakra so you become a human lightening bolt, not a halo floating on top of your head. Simply heightened states of awareness, enlightenment, becoming more and more aware which gives more and more insight, which brings wisdom and gives choice. With that wisdom and choice, we become the masters of our destiny and at peace in our life. – Bryan Kest • This practice of yoga is to remove the weeds from the body so that the garden can grow. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Through Yoga, anybody can attain; it’s a God realisation; you just practise Yoga and if you really mean it, then you’ll do it. There’s Yogis that have done it to such a degree that they’re God, they’re like Christ and they can walk on the water and materialise bodies and they can do all those tricks. – George Harrison • What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They’re like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don’t think of as malleable. – Stephen Colbert • What we’re trying to do in yoga is to create a union, and so to deepen a yoga pose is to actually increase the union of the pose, not necessarily put your leg around your head. – Rodney Yee • What yoga philosophy and all the great Buddhist teachings tells us is that solidity is a creation of the ordinary mind and that there never was anything permanent to begin with that we could hold on to. Life would be much easier and substantially less painful if we lived with the knowledge of impermanence as the only constant. – Donna Farhi • When this body has been so magnificently and artistically created by God, it is only fitting that we should maintain it in good health and harmony by the most excellent and artistic science of Yoga. – Geeta Iyengar • Where is the delusion when truth is known? Where is the disease when the mind is clear? Where is death when the Breath is controlled? Therefore surrender to Yoga. – Tirumalai Krishnamacharya • While I’ve always been critical about this peddling of spiritual materialism, it wasn’t until I went to Nepal that I came face-to-face with my own spiritual materialism. The thing is, Kathmandu is noisy, and dusty, and crowded, and everywhere you go you see these same Western yoga teachers, hashish-smoking backpackers, and fair-trade shop owners, all seeking the stalls filled with amazing Buddha statues, hand carved mirrors, beautiful yak scarves, and thangka paintings. And everyone is buying stuff! – Alexander Weinstein • Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day-to-day life and endows skill in the performance of one’s actions. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga does not remove us from the reality or responsibilities of everyday life but rather places our feet firmly and resolutely in the practical ground of experience. We don’t transcend our lives; we return to the life we left behind in the hopes of something better. – Donna Farhi • Yoga doesn’t ask you to be more than you are. But it does ask you to be all that you are. – Bryan Kest • Yoga has brought me to the part of religion I really like – the positive sides of religion, the parts we all share, rather than the things that create separation. – Christy Turlington • Yoga ia a way of moving into stillness in order to experience the truth of who you are. – Erich Schiffmann • Yoga in Mayfair or Fifth Avenue, or in any other place which is on the telephone, is a spiritual fake. – Carl Jung • Yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory. – K. Pattabhi Jois • Yoga is a light, which once lit, will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter the flame. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is a mirror to look at ourselves from within. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is a natural thing. – Laura Huxley • Yoga is a science, and not a vague dreamy drifting or imagining. – Annie Besant • Yoga is a science, and not a vague dreamy drifting or imagining. It is an applied science, a systematized collection of laws applied to bring about a definite end. It takes up the laws of psychology, applicable to the unfolding of the whole consciousness of man on every plane, in every world, and applies those rationally in a particular case. This rational application of the laws of unfolding consciousness acts exactly on the same principles that you see applied around you every day in other departments of science. – Annie Besant • Yoga is a way to freedom. By its constant practice, we can free ourselves from fear, anguish and loneliness. – Indra Devi • Yoga is about awakening. Yoga is about creating a life that brings more beauty and more love into the world. – John Friend • Yoga is almost like music in a way; there’s no end to it. – Sting • Yoga is for internal cleansing, not external exercising. Yoga means true self-knowledge. – K. Pattabhi Jois • Yoga is like music: the rhythm of the body, the melody of the mind, and the harmony of the soul create the symphony of life. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is not a means to get SOMEWHERE as if you were not SOMEWHERE already. It is your direct and intimate participation with Life. – Mark Whitwell • Yoga is not a religion. It is a science, science of well-being, science of youthfulness, science of integrating body, mind, and soul. – Amit Ray • Yoga is not about touching your toes. It’s about unlocking your ideas about what you want, where you think you can go, and how you will achieve it when you get there. – Cyndi Lee • Yoga is possible for anybody who really wants it. Yoga is universal…. But don’t approach yoga with a business mind looking for worldly gain. – K. Pattabhi Jois • Yoga is the fountain of youth. You’re only as young as your spine is flexible. – Bob Harper • Yoga is the golden key that unlocks the door to peace, tranquility and joy. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga is the stilling of the fluctuations of the mind. – Patanjali • Yoga never calms me. Ever. But it certainly helps me prevent something. – Jen Kirkman • Yoga practice seems to be used to access some deeper dimension or some enlightened state. Understand right now there is no connection between flexibility and enlightenment. – Bryan Kest • Yoga stimulates different nerves in your body, especially the Vagus nerve that carries information from the brain to most of the body’s major organs, slows everything down and allows self-regulation. It’s the nerve that is associated with the parasympathetic system and emotions like love, joy and compassion. – Deepak Chopra • Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga teaches you how to listen to your body. – Mariel Hemingway • Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one’s being, from bodily health to self realization. Yoga means union – the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul. Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day to day life and endows skill in the performance of one’s actions. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one’s being, from bodily health to self-realization. – B.K.S. Iyengar • Yoga’s hard for me, but I know you can really feel the difference when you do it consistently. I’d rather be playing basketball. – Chris Noth • You can enter yoga, or the path of yoga, only when you are totally frustrated with your own mind as it is. If you are still hoping that you can gain something through your mind, yoga is not for you. – Rajneesh • You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. – Sharon Gannon • You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state. – Sharon Gannon • You don’t have to go the gym – just walk 10,000 steps a day and you are activating your good genes. But do practise yoga. – Deepak Chopra • You find this watered-down enlightenment sold in mass quantity at yoga studios, high-priced shamanism retreats, DJ-fueled Ecstatic Dance parties, ayahuasca ceremonies, and self-empowerment seminars. There’s a hope for a quick fix – if only we have the money and right drugs for it. – Alexander Weinstein • You know the bodysuit that I built my line on? . . .That was about me being able to go directly from work to yoga class. It just wasn’t as accepted to talk about then. – Donna Karan [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'e', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_e').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_e img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'i', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_i').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_i img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'o', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_o').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_o img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

[booksbroadwaybbc]

30 things I've learned in 30 years via /r/selfimprovement

30 things I've learned in 30 years

A month ago I turned 30. Few people would have bet on it, but here I am.

30 years is a weird age. You're definitely not old but you're also definitely not young anymore. You're "young-ish" and "old-ish". At the same time.

But now I'm digressing. On my birthday I went on a date with my amazing girlfriend. At one point, halfway through the meal (and after a couple of glasses of wine), she looked into my eyes and asked me: What have you learned so far? Given your current knowledge, would you do the same things again?

I found that question very interesting because I don't think I've ever stopped to think about it. My first, gut-instinct answer was "Yes, I would!". And I meant it. Overall, I'm happy with my life and my choices and I do believe that life is first of all about making mistakes and learning from them. So, yes: if I went back I'd definitely do the same things all over again.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I started to realise how much I've learned over the years. All the crazy situations, questionable people, inspiring books, weird encounters, everything that has shaped who I am today and the way I think.

So I thought I'd make a list of 30 things I've learned are true in life. You are welcome. Why 30? Because 30 makes it for a clickbait catchy title.

Here we go:

Say I'm sorry A lot of people (especially men) are not used to saying I'm sorry. They think it's not cool or manly enough to apologise. But saying "I'm sorry" it's such a powerful gesture because it shows that you're mature enough to accept responsibility for your actions or words, which is ultimately the difference between an adult and an immature person. 

Start saving as soon as possible If there is one thing I wish I started earlier in life is saving. As soon as you start earning money, put at least 20% of your income in an index fund returning 5-7% per year (which isn't particularly high). By the time you're 40, you will have accumulated enough money to buy a house outright. Compound interest is the name of the game.

Learn to reason by first principles The difference between reasoning by first principles and reasoning by analogy is like the difference between being a chef and being a cook. If the cook lost the recipe, he’d be screwed.

Develop healthy habits I'm far from being a healthy person at the moment, but I now understand the basics of habit formation (especially the role the environment plays in shaping our habits) and I wish I developed much better habits when I was younger. The good news is that it's never too late (for example I've developed a reading habit that allows me to read 30 books a yearvery easily).

Learn the basics of nutrition I've been a fat kid for most of my childhood. It definitely didn't help that my mum had never taken the time to learn about the basics of nutrition, the role of the different macronutrients and what my body actually needed. You don't need to be a doctor, but learning the basics will massively help you (and your kids) live a healthier life.

Avoid as much as possible starches and sugar Speaking of basics of nutrition: avoid starches and sugar (both found abundantly in processed food) as much as you can. The evidence about the side effects of a carb and sugar-rich diet is massive.

Love is about agreeing on the big, important things... ... and compromising on the small things. I'm amazed at how many couples do the opposite but not surprised they usually don't last very long. 

Never go to sleep on an argument with your loved one Enough said. 

Pick your battles Not everything is as important as you think it is. A lot of people get angry about a LOT of things. Their life runs them instead of the other way around. Don't be that guy; don't let the little things get at you.

Work on your relationships I've been notoriously bad at this but it's something I'm working hard at. A life without strong, genuine relationships is not worth living. 

Ignore social media and news Social media and news are in the business of monetizing your fears and insecurities. Ignore them and your life will be immediately 10X better.

To truly understand people study Darwinian evolution and psychology We are slightly less hairy monkeys whose actions are still dominated by hormones, pheromones and ancestral fears. Want to truly understand why people do what they do? Read Darwin and good books about behavioural psychology. 

Give without expecting anything back Give without expecting anything in return is a wonderful act of trust in the kindness of fellow human beings. And when you do it, you will feel amazing.

Learn what makes you happy A really big one for me. I don't think you should spend your life searching for your "role in the universe". However, I do believe that over time you figure out what clicks with you and what doesn't; what makes you happy and what doesn't. My advice: be an active observer and notice what you're doing when you're happy. Then do more of it.

Optimise your life for learning Knowledge is your competitive advantage. A lot of people think learning stop when they get out of school. They usually end up working for those who understood learning is a lifelong process.

Develop a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset People with a growth mindset believe that human qualities like intelligence and creativity, and even relational capacities like love and friendship, can be cultivated through effort and deliberate practice.

Learn to receive feedback Don't take things personally. Yes, some people's feedback is useless and even harmful but the only way to truly grow and improve is to get feedback and act on it.

Come up with some principles and live by them Unless you have a clear decision-making framework you'll be optimising for short-term goals. Predefined principles make optimising for long-term goals much easier.

You're not entitled to an opinion unless you can back it with facts Don't be the idiot that says "this is my opinion" as if that's sufficient to say something. Back it with facts or logic or just shut up. The world has too many people who think they are entitled to an opinion and not enough people who bother justify it.

Read the classics People way WAY smarter than you and I have figured out a lot of things already. Take advantage of the Lindy effect: if a book has been around for a long time it means it has stood the test of time (plus critics) and therefore it's more likely to contain timeless wisdom than a book that's been around for a few years.

Don't be envious of other people... ... Only compare yourself with where you want to be in 10 years. Not worrying about keeping up with the Joneses has been one of the biggest improvements to my life and mental health.

Life is much more fun when you have ambitious goals Your time on this planet is ridiculously limited. Make it worth it.

Expand your mind Travel the world, meet new people, learn about different cultures, get out of your comfort zone. You can live your life thinking that yours was the only way to live or you can go out there and know that it wasn't.

Don't wait to say "I love you" I've always waited far too long to tell people how important they were for me. And every single time I wished I did that sooner. Don't wait to tell people that you love them. Do it now.

Give second chances We all fuck up. All the time. Giving people a second chance is not a sign of weakness but it's about recognising that we are humans.

Listen to your body Big one for me. Whether you like or not, you're going to spend the entirety of your life with that mass of bones and flesh. Learning to listen to it it's one of the best things you can do for yourself.

The strong defeat the weak but the smart defeat the strong You will see this pattern everywhere in life. Be the smart guy.

Learn to sell products, not your time Your time is limited. Learn to sell products or services that can be distributed easily. That's how you create true wealth.

Love is putting another person's needs in front of yours If you ask 10 people, they'll give you 10 different definition of love. I choose this one because it's about sacrifice and selflessness.

Coming up with 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years is REALLY hard

The next 10 years of my life look terrifying: getting married, buying a house, making a baby or two and all the other grown-up things. It will be fun to write this list again when I turn 40 and see how many items in my list I believe are still true.

Submitted September 14, 2018 at 04:43PM by Manu66 via reddit https://ift.tt/2QuvrBS

[evajrobinsontx]

What is the Best Type of Cardio for You?

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If you’re going to take the time to do something, you want to get the greatest rewards from your efforts. In the realm of health and fitness, this leads to questions like What is the best type of cardio?

If fat loss is your goal, is one type of cardio superior to others?

What if you just want to improve your health and reduce your risk of disease? Should one type of cardio be prioritized?

Is one type of cardio better than the others if you just want the ability to survive a potential zombie apocalypse?

The Different Types of Cardio

We’ll discuss three types of cardio along with how to do it, when to do it, and whom it is best for. Let’s begin with a form of “cardio” you may not have even considered.

Unstructured Activity

This isn’t what most people think of when they hear the word cardio. Unstructured activity, or simply play, is an activity you do for fun, because you enjoy doing it. There is no age limit for playing — everyone can benefit from having fun. This can be a hobby like hiking, biking, kayaking, swimming, dancing, skiing, Zumba, ultra-competitive hula-hooping while twirling a flaming baton. Whatever has you moving your body in an enjoyable way.

Traditional sport type activities aren’t the only options. Research has shown health benefits from increasing activity in any form (study). This includes activities like yard work, gardening  — anything that gets you moving on a regular basis.

For an individual wanting to improve her health and give fat loss a boost, I usually recommend she first include, or increase, her amount of unstructured activity.

Why?

Simple. You’re more likely to consistently participate in activities you look forward to and enjoy. Because then it’s fun, not a chore. And, as we’ve covered, doing something consistently for a long period is the true “secret” to fitness success.

Furthermore, this is customizable for every individual and can be determined by climate, location, and can change with the seasons or preferences.

This type of cardio is best for: The individual who won’t be consistent with the other types of cardio discussed here. In particular, someone who loathes the thought of structured exercise. As in, the person who would rather roll in honey then belly-flop into a kiddie pool filled with fire ants than climb on a piece of cardio equipment for half an hour.

How often to do it: As often as possible. Someone who strength trains three days per week could benefit from including additional fun activity 1-4 times per week. For the individual who doesn’t get much activity beyond the gym (perhaps they have a sedentary job), a minimum of 30 minutes three times per week is a good target, in addition to strength training three times per week.

Low-Intensity Steady State (LISS)

When most people hear the word “cardio,” they imagine someone jogging; someone plodding along on an elliptical machine; someone, in some way, moving at a steady pace for an extended period either on a machine or around their neighborhood or local park.

Since the difficulty of the activity is low, it can, and should be, performed for an extended time like 20-40 minutes. That’s why this activity is also referred to as long, slow distance activity, or LSD if you like acronyms, and want to do LSD that’s good for you, and legal.

This type of cardio is best for: The individual who needs something structured to keep them consistent (e.g., scheduling a 30-minute session on the treadmill twice per week); those who don’t participate in other physical activities regularly.

There are also individuals who prefer this type of activity: many people report low-intensity steady state work to be therapeutic or meditational, and they enjoy it more than they would an all-out high-intensity sprint session on an air bike (addressed next). This low-intensity activity allows them to zone out, think, or do something else they enjoy and would do anyway, like listen to their favorite podcast or the audio articles on this site and iTunes channel.

Low-intensity steady state cardio is a great option for sedentary individuals or someone who hasn’t exercised since neon sweatbands and leotards were popular attire. For individuals who self-profess to be “out of shape,” steady-state cardio is an excellent place to start.

Methods of low-intensity steady state: The options are endless, from cardio machines — treadmill, elliptical, bikes, rower — to doing something outside like going for a brisk walk, hiking, riding a bike. Essentially any activity that has you moving at a deliberate, sustained pace while being able to maintain a conversation.

You don’t have to maintain the same speed for the entire low-intensity session. This is where pre-set programs on cardio machines are useful. In my steady-state workouts, for example, to break up the monotony I’ll go at a faster pace for 60 seconds every third minute. It’s not a sprint, but I simply pick up the pace before returning to the somewhat-easier work level. (E.g.: on my air bike I may sustain 43 RPMs for two minutes and every third minute I’ll go up to 48 RPMs — I’ll do this for 30 minutes.)

How often to do it: This depends on your goals and the other activities you perform. If you don’t get much activity outside of dedicated exercise, then including a couple weekly sessions of low-intensity steady state cardio is beneficial for improving cardiovascular health and conditioning levels.

Someone wanting to boost fat loss or improve conditioning could begin with two sessions per week and increase it to three after a couple months, for example.

How to progress: Progression is possible in several ways. Increase the duration of the activity — begin with 20-minute sessions and add five minutes every four or five weeks. Increase the intensity — using an air bike, for example, pedal at a sustained rate of 30 RPMs and gradually progress to 40 RPMs over a couple months. Increase the frequency — begin with one session per week and progress to two after several weeks, and then three weekly sessions a few weeks after that.

To keep the cardio sessions efficient, once 30-35-minute sessions are sustained, I like to focus on increasing work capacity, like gradually increasing the resistance level on a cardio machine, for example, or the RPMs on an air bike.

When to do it: Anytime. If you strength train three days per week, a great way to schedule the activity is to do cardio work on non-lifting days. Cardio work after strength training is fine too if you need to do it on the same day.

Low-intensity steady state cardio sessions can be broken up into chunks as well. If dedicating 30 minutes to a cardio session isn’t doable, break it up into something like a 15-minute walk in the morning and a 15-minute walk in the evening.

High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)

High-intensity intervals are, by definition, hard to perform. The intensity is high, the physical effort is high, and it’ll make you feel like you’ve inhaled fire, which is fun in a weird sadistic way.

The perk to this high-effort level is that a HIIT workout takes less time to complete than a low-intensity steady state session. Low-intensity steady state sessions can last 30 minutes or more, but an effective HIIT workout can be done in about 15 minutes.

High-intensity intervals consist of a brief warm-up, then a sprint, followed by an “easy” rest interval. Details in a moment, but first …

This type of cardio is best for: Someone with minimal time to work out; someone who wants to spend minimum time working out; someone who won’t do low-intensity steady state consistently because they find it so boring that after a mere two minutes they shout Screw this! and stop.

I don’t have trainees perform HIIT if they don’t already have a decent conditioning base (i.e., I don’t recommend HIIT to someone who hasn’t done any type of physical activity recently; I prefer they start with low-intensity steady state to develop a base of conditioning).

Methods of high-intensity interval training: For most people, most of the time, I recommend using an air bike, upright bike, or recumbent bike for HIIT. Why? Because there’s no skill involved with those machines — there’s no learning curve, so it’s hard to screw it up compared to, say, sprinting on a treadmill which comes with the risk of tripping and getting catapulted across the gym before splattering on the floor leaving you with bumps and bruises to your body, and ego.

Other options for high-intensity interval training include the elliptical machine, rower (if you’re proficient at the movement), and even things like hill sprints or pushing/pulling a loaded sled.

How to do it: I like a 1:4 sprint to recovery ratio. Meaning, a 15-second sprint would be followed by a 60-second “easy” recovery period. Or a 30-second sprint followed by a 2-minute “easy” period.

How to progress: Gradually perform more sprints — begin with five sprints (sprint 15 seconds, go at an easy pace for 60 seconds) and every few weeks add one round until you perform 10 sprints. Gradually increase the resistance level if using a cardio machine or increase RPMs if using an air bike.

How often to do it: If you’ve never done HIIT, or haven’t done it in a while, begin with one session per week. After a month or so it can be increased to two weekly sessions, and a month later another session can be added, if desired. For those who strength train and want to build muscle or strength, limit HIIT workouts to once or twice per week. Due to its intensity, HIIT produces more fatigue than something like low-intensity steady state.

When to do it: Whenever it fits your schedule is the best answer. If you also strength train, perform the HIIT work after the workouts, on non-lifting days, or several hours before or after a strength training session.

Do I Need Cardio if My Job is Physically Demanding?

“My job is physically demanding, so I don’t need to do cardio.” Some, particularly those with physically-demanding jobs like construction work or running a farm, can make this claim.

If your job has you on your feet for several hours a day most days per week, do you need dedicated cardio work?

Maybe. Maybe not. It depends on your goals.

An individual interested exclusively in health benefits (prevention of cardiovascular disease, for example) may not need additional dedicated cardio activity if their job has them moving regularly. The American Medical Association recommends that adults get at least 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity per week to improve overall cardiovascular health. If you accumulate this activity through your job, great.

Once you’ve become accustomed to this activity level, it no longer provides a novel stimulus because your body has adapted to it. Think about a time when you suddenly increased your physical activity drastically. Maybe you worked a physically demanding job during the summer. Or you started a new job that had you on your feet all day. You were sore and exhausted initially. But after a while, you adjusted to the demand and it was just part of daily life and didn’t represent the same physical challenge it did at first.

This means for an individual wanting to further improve cardiovascular health or work capacity, or boost fat loss, training will be needed. This is when one of the cardio methods can be useful.

This is no different than if you started strength training for the first time. Let’s say you deadlifted 135 pounds for 3 sets of 5 reps, and you did that three days per week. Initially you would get sore, and the new stimulus would build strength and muscle, but if you deadlifted 135 pounds for 3 sets of 5 reps three days per week and never added weight or sets, you wouldn’t get stronger or build more muscle. Your body is fully adapted to the demand and that stimulus no longer elicits a response.

So, What Type of Cardio is “Best”?

You likely noticed what was missing above — no single cardio method was labeled “best” for fat loss or overall health improvement and disease prevention.

What type of cardio is best for fat loss?

What type of cardio is best for improving health?

Is one type of cardio superior for fat loss, improved quality of life, and health benefits?

Yes. The one you will do consistently. It can be that simple. Doable and sustainable are more important than theoretically optimal.

When it comes to fat loss, the most important thing is achieving a sustained caloric deficit. This can be accomplished by simply eating less, burning more total calories through exercise and increased physical activity, or a combination of the two. No cardio method is better than the other (though one may have an advantage which is discussed below).

You’re not limited to any single type of cardio. What you do can change as your preferences, or schedule, change. For instance, if you prefer low-intensity cardio but your available time to work out gets shortened, switch to the more time-efficient high-intensity interval training.

Or maybe you love winter sports. Your cardio activity during the winter months could be skiing several times per week. You can participate in LISS or HIIT during the other months.

Something to keep in mind: Not every activity fits neatly into one of the cardio categories above. For example, mountain biking could be a combination of high-intensity and low-intensity cardio work. Same thing could apply to swimming, road biking, and other activities.

How to Include Cardio in Your Routine

Want help adding cardio into your routine, or not quite sure where to begin? Here are some layouts you can use to include cardio in your weekly schedule.

An excellent goal is to do something every day to help solidify a workout habit. Here’s an excellent weekly schedule that works well for many, especially those who like to do something most days:

Day 1: Strength training workout

Day 2: 20-minutes low-intensity steady state*

Day 3: Strength training workout

Day 4: 20-minutes low-intensity steady state

Day 5: Strength training workout

Day 6: Fun activity for 20-60 minutes

Day 7: “Off” or fun activity for 20-60 minutes

*Every four to five weeks five minutes can be added, up to 30 minutes.

Remember, low-intensity work can be broken into chunks throughout the day; 15 minutes in the morning and 15 in the evening, for example.

Here’s a sample weekly schedule for someone who wants, or needs, to spend minimum time working out:

Day 1: 30-minute strength training workout

Day 2: 10-minute HIIT workout*

Day 3: 30-minute strength training workout

Day 4: Off

Day 5: 30-minute strength training workout

Day 6: 10-minute HIIT workout*

Day 7: Off or fun activity for 20-60 minutes

*Two-minute warm-up, sprint 15 seconds, easy recovery for 60 seconds. Every three to four weeks add an additional sprint.

These sample weekly schedules can be tailored to your goals, preferences, and needs, but both are good frameworks to build from.

Cardio Takeaways

To summarize:

Regular physical activity clearly provides health benefits (article). Do something and do it consistently.

Some research demonstrated that high-intensity and very-high-intensity exercise may suppress appetite more than moderate-intensity exercise of the same duration, thus contributing more to fat loss (article).

Enjoyment should be a consideration when selecting a method of exercise to ensure long-term compliance (article). In other words, if you despise HIIT, don’t do HIIT. If you loathe LISS and find it mind-numbingly boring, don’t do LISS. If you hate any type of “structured” exercise, find a sport or activity you enjoy.

High-intensity interval training and steady-state cardio are both useful for combating obesity. However, compliance may be higher with HIIT for some individuals because of its time efficiency (article).

There are no “bests” or unbreakable rules when it comes to cardio.

Do something. Do it regularly, consistently. That matters most.

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The post What is the Best Type of Cardio for You? appeared first on Nia Shanks.

from Sarah Luke Fitness Updates https://www.niashanks.com/best-type-cardio/

[newstfionline]

Friends of a Certain Age

By Alex Williams, NY Times, July 13, 2012

It was like one of those magical blind-date scenes out of a Hollywood rom-com, without the “rom.” I met Brian, a New York screenwriter, a few years ago through work, which led to dinner with our wives and friend chemistry that was instant and obvious.

We liked the same songs off Dylan’s “Blonde on Blonde,” the same lines from “Chinatown.” By the time the green curry shrimp had arrived, we were finishing each other’s sentences. Our wives were forced to cut in: “Hey, guys, want to come up for air?”

As Brian and his wife wandered off toward the No. 2 train afterward, it crossed my mind that he was the kind of guy who might have ended up a groomsman at my wedding if we had met in college.

That was four years ago. We’ve seen each other four times since. We are “friends,” but not quite friends. We keep trying to get over the hump, but life gets in the way.

Our story is not unusual. In your 30s and 40s, plenty of new people enter your life, through work, children’s play dates and, of course, Facebook. But actual close friends--the kind you make in college, the kind you call in a crisis--those are in shorter supply.

As people approach midlife, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Schedules compress, priorities change and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends.

No matter how many friends you make, a sense of fatalism can creep in: the period for making B.F.F.’s, the way you did in your teens or early 20s, is pretty much over. It’s time to resign yourself to situational friends: K.O.F.’s (kind of friends)--for now.

But often, people realize how much they have neglected to restock their pool of friends only when they encounter a big life event, like a move, say, or a divorce.

That thought struck Lisa Degliantoni, an educational fund-raising executive in Chicago, a few months ago when she was planning her 39th birthday party. After a move from New York to Evanston, Ill., she realized that she had 857 Facebook friends and 509 Twitter followers, but still did not know if she could fill her party’s invitation list. “I did an inventory of the phases of my life where I’ve managed to make the most friends, and it was definitely high school and my first job,” she said.

After a divorce in his 40s, Robert Glover, a psychotherapist in Bellevue, Wash., realized that his roster of friends had quietly atrophied for years as he focused on career and family. “All of a sudden, with your wife out of the picture, you realize you’re lonely,” said Dr. Glover, now 56. “I’d go to salsa lessons. Instead of trying to pick up the women, I’d introduce myself to the men: ‘Hey, let’s go get a drink.’ “

In studies of peer groups, Laura L. Carstensen, a psychology professor who is the director of the Stanford Center on Longevity in California, observed that people tended to interact with fewer people as they moved toward midlife, but that they grew closer to the friends they already had.

Basically, she suggests, this is because people have an internal alarm clock that goes off at big life events, like turning 30. It reminds them that time horizons are shrinking, so it is a point to pull back on exploration and concentrate on the here and now. “You tend to focus on what is most emotionally important to you,” she said, “so you’re not interested in going to that cocktail party, you’re interested in spending time with your kids.”

As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other, said Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. This is why so many people meet their lifelong friends in college, she added.

In the professional world, “proximity” is hard to maintain, as work colleagues are reassigned or move on to new jobs. Last year, Erica Rivinoja, a writer on the NBC series “Up All Night,” became close with a woman, Jen, when they worked together on a pilot. Almost instantly, they knew each other’s exercise schedules and food preferences. Jen could sense when Ms. Rivinoja needed a jolt of caffeine, and without asking would be there with an iced tea.

“But as soon as the pilot was over, it was hard to be as close without that constant day-to-day interaction,” said Ms. Rivinoja, 35. They can occasionally carve out time for a quick gin and tonic, she said, but “there aren’t those long afternoons which bleed into evenings hanging out at the beach and then heading to a bar.”

The workplace can crackle with competition, so people learn to hide vulnerabilities and quirks from colleagues, Dr. Adams said. Work friendships often take on a transactional feel; it is difficult to say where networking ends and real friendship begins.

Differences in professional status and income also complicate matters. “It really does get weird when your friends are making tons more than you, or tons less,” said Adriane Duckworth, a former marketing executive now working as an artist in Hamilton, Ontario.

Once people start coupling up, the challenges only increase. Making friends with other couples “is like matchmaking for two,” said Kara Baskin, a journalist who works in Boston. “Not only are you worrying about whether the other woman likes you, you’re also worrying if her husband likes you, if your husband likes her, if your husband likes him.”

Not long ago, she invited her husband’s new work buddy over for dinner with his wife. But the wife was visibly unimpressed by Ms. Baskin’s half-furnished home (they had just moved in) and thrown-together spaghetti dinner. “It was basically clear that his wife had been cajoled into attending,” said Ms. Baskin, 33. “She settled on to our rickety Ikea kitchen chairs like she was lowering herself into a coal mine.”

The couple departed quickly after dessert. The next day at work, the husband made an excuse about his wife being tired. “But it was unspoken that we wouldn’t be seeking their company again,” Ms. Baskin said.

ADDING children to the mix muddles things further. Suddenly, you are surrounded by a new circle of parent friends--but the emotional ties can be tenuous at best, as the comedian Louis C. K. related in one stand-up routine: “I spend whole days with people, I’m like, I never would have hung out with you, I didn’t choose you. Our children chose each other. Based on no criteria, by the way. They’re the same size.”

Even when parent friends develop a bond, the resulting friendships can be fleeting--and subject to the whims of the children themselves.

Caryl Lyons, an event planner in Danville, Calif., and her husband found a budding friendship with a parent-friend couple hit a roadblock when their young sons, who had been close friends, drifted apart. When the families planned a barbecue together, her son would say, “Can I have my other friends over?” said Ms. Lyons, 44.

External factors are not the only hurdle. After 30, people often experience internal shifts in how they approach friendship. Self-discovery gives way to self-knowledge, so you become pickier about whom you surround yourself with, said Marla Paul, the author of the 2004 book “The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore.” “The bar is higher than when we were younger and were willing to meet almost anyone for a margarita,” she said.

Manipulators, drama queens, egomaniacs: a lot of them just no longer make the cut.

Thayer Prime, a 32-year-old strategy consultant who lives in London, has even developed a playful 100-point scale (100 being “best friend forever”). In her mind, she starts to dock new friend candidates as they begin to display annoying or disloyal behavior. Nine times out of 10, she said, her new friends end up from 30 to 60, or little more than an acquaintance.

“You meet someone really nice, but if they don’t return a call, drop to 90, if they don’t return two calls, that’s an immediate 50,” she said. “If they’re late to something in the first month, that’s another 10 off.” (But people can move up the scale with nice behavior, too, she added.)

Having been hardened by experience, many people develop a more fatalistic view of friendship.

“When you’re younger, you define what it really means to be friends in a more serious way,” said my screenwriter friend, Brian. (His full name is Brian Koppelman, and he wrote and is a co-director of “Solitary Man,” a 2010 film starring Michael Douglas about a middle-aged man trying to reconnect with friends and family.)

“My ideas of friendship were built by ‘The Godfather’ and ‘Diner,’ “ he said. “Your friends were your brothers, and anything but total loyalty at all costs meant excommunication. As you get older, that model becomes unrealistic.”

By that point, you have been through your share of wearying or failed relationships. You have come to grips with the responsibilities of juggling work, family and existing friends, so you become more wary about making yourself emotionally available to new people. “You’re more keenly aware of the downside,” said Mr. Koppelman, 46. “You’re also more keenly aware of your own capacity to disappoint.”

“I haven’t really changed my standards for what it means to actually be friends,” he concluded. “It’s just that I use the word ‘friends’ more loosely. Making the real kind, the brother kind, is much harder now.”

Some, like Ms. Degliantoni, the fund-raising executive, simply downsize their expectations. “I take an extremely efficient approach and seek out like-minded folks to fill very specific needs,” she said of her current strategy. “I have a cocktail friend and a book friend and a parenting friend and several basketball friends and a neighbor friend and a workout friend.”

“It’s much easier filling in those gaps in my life,” she added, “than doing an exhaustive approach for a new friend.”

Or, they hit rock bottom and turn back the clock to their breathlessly social 20s.

After a move to New York in his 30s, Dave Cervini, a radio station executive, was so lonely that he would walk his cat in Central Park, hoping to stoke conversations. Finding only curious stares, he decided to start the New York Social Network, an activities group for people to find friends by hanging out at Yankees games or wine-tasting mixers. The company now counts 2,000 members, most in their 30s. He considers 200 of them close friends.

“It takes courage for people to take the first step,” he said. “Hopefully, I make it easier, having been there myself.”

In that spirit, I recently called Brian. We joked about our inability to find time to hang out, and made a dinner date at the next available opening.

It is three months from now.

[shannonhopkins214-blog]

20 Signs You're Doing Better Than You Think You Are

You paid the bills this month, and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities. It doesn't matter how much you belabored the checks as they went out, the point is that they did, and you figured it out regardless.

You question yourself. You doubt your life. You feel miserable some days. This means you're still open to growth. This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there's another way.”

You have a job. For however many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, wear something every day. It's not failure if it doesn't look the way you thought it would – you're valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.

You have time to do something you enjoy. Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching Netflix.

You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from. There's food in the fridge or pantry, and you have enough to actually pick and choose what you want to eat.

You can eat because you enjoy it. It's not a matter of sheer survival.

You have one or two truly close friends. People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feel intimacy, acceptance, community, or joy. At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.

You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning. The smallest conveniences (and oftentimes, necessities) are not variables for you.

You're not the same person you were a year ago. You're learning, and evolving, and can identify the ways in which you've changed for better and worse.

You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum. You've maybe been to a concert in the last few years, you buy books for yourself, you could take a day trip to a neighboring city if you wanted – you don't have to work all hours of the day to survive.

You have a selection of clothing at your disposal. You aren't worried about having a hat or gloves in a blizzard, you have cool clothes for the summer and something to wear to a wedding. You not only can shield and decorate your body, but can do so appropriately for a variety of circumstances.

You can sense what isn't right in your life. The first and most crucial step is simply being aware. Being able to communicate to yourself: “something is not right, even though I am not yet sure what would feel better.”

If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.” So often people carry their past traumas into their present lives, and if you want any proof that we carry who we were in who we are, all you need to do is see how you respond to your inner child hearing, you're going to be okay, from the person they became.

You have a space of your own. It doesn't even have to be a home or apartment (but that's great if it is). All you need is a room, a corner, a desk, where you can create or rest at your discretion; where you govern who gets to be part of your weird little world, and to what capacity. It's one of the few controls we can actually exert.

You've lost relationships. More important than the fact that you've simply had them in the first place is that you or your former partner chose not to settle. You opened yourself to the possibility of something else being out there.

You're interested in something. Whether it's now how to live a happier life, maintain better relationships, reading or movies or sex or society or the axis on which the world spins, something intrigues you to explore it.

You know how to take care of yourself. You know how many hours of sleep you need to feel okay the next day, who to turn to when you're heartbroken, what you have fun doing, what to do when you don't feel well, etc.

You're working toward a goal. Even if you're exhausted and it feels miles away, you have a dream for yourself, however vague and malleable.

But you're not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future. Some of the happiest and best adjusted people are the ones who can make any situation an ideal, who are too immersed in the moment to intricately plan and decidedly commit to any one specific outcome.

You've been through some crap. You can look at challenges you currently face and compare them to ones you thought you'd never get over. You can reassure yourself through your own experience. Life did not get easier, you got smarter.

[viralhottopics]

20 Signs Youre Doing Better Than You Think You Are

Youpaid the bills this month, and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities. It doesn’t matter how much you belabored the checks as they went out, the point is thatthey did, and you figured it out regardless.

You question yourself. You doubt your life. You feel miserable some days. This means you’re still open to growth. This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there’s another way.”

You have a job. Forhowever many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, wear something every day.It’s not failure if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would you’re valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.

You have time to dosomething you enjoy. Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching Netflix.

You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from. There’s food in the fridge or pantry, and you have enough to actually pick and choose what you want to eat.

You can eat because you enjoy it. It’s not a matter of sheer survival.

You have one or two truly close friends. People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feelintimacy, acceptance, community, or joy. At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.

You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning. The smallest conveniences (and oftentimes, necessities) are not variables for you.

You’re not the same person you were a year ago. You’re learning, and evolving, andcan identify the ways in which you’ve changed for better and worse.

You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum. You’ve maybe been to a concert in the last few years, you buy books for yourself, you could take a day trip to a neighboring city if you wanted you don’t have to work all hours of the dayto survive.

You have a selection of clothing at your disposal. You aren’t worried about having a hat or gloves in a blizzard, you have cool clothes for the summer and something to wear to a wedding. You not only can shield and decorate your body, but can do so appropriately for a variety of circumstances.

You can sense whatisn’tright in your life.The first and most crucial step is simply being aware. Being able to communicate to yourself: “something is not right, even though I am not yet sure what would feel better.”

If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say:“We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.”So often people carry their past traumasinto their present lives, andif you want any proof that we carry who we were in who we are, all you need to do is see how you respond to your inner child hearing,from the person they became.

You have a space of your own. It doesn’t even have to be a home or apartment (but that’s great if it is). All you need is a room, a corner, a desk, where you can create or rest at your discretion; where you govern who gets to be part of your weird little world, and to what capacity. It’s one of the few controls we can actually exert.

You’ve lostrelationships. More important than the fact that you’ve simply had them in the first place is that you or your former partner chose not to settle. You opened yourself to the possibility of something else being out there.

You’re interested in something.Whether it’s now how to live a happier life, maintain better relationships, reading or movies or sex or society or the axis on which the world spins, something intrigues you to explore it.

You know how to take care of yourself.You know how many hours of sleep you need to feel okay the next day, who to turn to when you’re heartbroken, what you have fun doing,what todo when you don’t feel well,etc.

You’re working toward a goal.Even if you’re exhausted and it feels miles away, you have a dream for yourself, however vague and malleable.

But you’re not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future. Some of the happiest and best adjusted people are the ones who can make any situation an ideal, who are too immersed in the moment to intricately planand decidedly commit to any one specific outcome.

You’ve been through some crap. You can look at challenges you currently face and compare them to ones you thought you’d never get over. You can reassure yourself through your own experience. Life did not get easier, you got smarter.

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What is the Best Type of Cardio for You?

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If you’re going to take the time to do something, you want to get the greatest rewards from your efforts. In the realm of health and fitness, this leads to questions like What is the best type of cardio?

If fat loss is your goal, is one type of cardio superior to others?

What if you just want to improve your health and reduce your risk of disease? Should one type of cardio be prioritized?

Is one type of cardio better than the others if you just want the ability to survive a potential zombie apocalypse?

The Different Types of Cardio

We’ll discuss three types of cardio along with how to do it, when to do it, and whom it is best for. Let’s begin with a form of “cardio” you may not have even considered.

Unstructured Activity

This isn’t what most people think of when they hear the word cardio. Unstructured activity, or simply play, is an activity you do for fun, because you enjoy doing it. There is no age limit for playing — everyone can benefit from having fun. This can be a hobby like hiking, biking, kayaking, swimming, dancing, skiing, Zumba, ultra-competitive hula-hooping while twirling a flaming baton. Whatever has you moving your body in an enjoyable way.

Traditional sport type activities aren’t the only options. Research has shown health benefits from increasing activity in any form (study). This includes activities like yard work, gardening  — anything that gets you moving on a regular basis.

For an individual wanting to improve her health and give fat loss a boost, I usually recommend she first include, or increase, her amount of unstructured activity.

Why?

Simple. You’re more likely to consistently participate in activities you look forward to and enjoy. Because then it’s fun, not a chore. And, as we’ve covered, doing something consistently for a long period is the true “secret” to fitness success.

Furthermore, this is customizable for every individual and can be determined by climate, location, and can change with the seasons or preferences.

This type of cardio is best for: The individual who won’t be consistent with the other types of cardio discussed here. In particular, someone who loathes the thought of structured exercise. As in, the person who would rather roll in honey then belly-flop into a kiddie pool filled with fire ants than climb on a piece of cardio equipment for half an hour.

How often to do it: As often as possible. Someone who strength trains three days per week could benefit from including additional fun activity 1-4 times per week. For the individual who doesn’t get much activity beyond the gym (perhaps they have a sedentary job), a minimum of 30 minutes three times per week is a good target, in addition to strength training three times per week.

Low-Intensity Steady State (LISS)

When most people hear the word “cardio,” they imagine someone jogging; someone plodding along on an elliptical machine; someone, in some way, moving at a steady pace for an extended period either on a machine or around their neighborhood or local park.

Since the difficulty of the activity is low, it can, and should be, performed for an extended time like 20-40 minutes. That’s why this activity is also referred to as long, slow distance activity, or LSD if you like acronyms, and want to do LSD that’s good for you, and legal.

This type of cardio is best for: The individual who needs something structured to keep them consistent (e.g., scheduling a 30-minute session on the treadmill twice per week); those who don’t participate in other physical activities regularly.

There are also individuals who prefer this type of activity: many people report low-intensity steady state work to be therapeutic or meditational, and they enjoy it more than they would an all-out high-intensity sprint session on an air bike (addressed next). This low-intensity activity allows them to zone out, think, or do something else they enjoy and would do anyway, like listen to their favorite podcast or the audio articles on this site and iTunes channel.

Low-intensity steady state cardio is a great option for sedentary individuals or someone who hasn’t exercised since neon sweatbands and leotards were popular attire. For individuals who self-profess to be “out of shape,” steady-state cardio is an excellent place to start.

Methods of low-intensity steady state: The options are endless, from cardio machines — treadmill, elliptical, bikes, rower — to doing something outside like going for a brisk walk, hiking, riding a bike. Essentially any activity that has you moving at a deliberate, sustained pace while being able to maintain a conversation.

You don’t have to maintain the same speed for the entire low-intensity session. This is where pre-set programs on cardio machines are useful. In my steady-state workouts, for example, to break up the monotony I’ll go at a faster pace for 60 seconds every third minute. It’s not a sprint, but I simply pick up the pace before returning to the somewhat-easier work level. (E.g.: on my air bike I may sustain 43 RPMs for two minutes and every third minute I’ll go up to 48 RPMs — I’ll do this for 30 minutes.)

How often to do it: This depends on your goals and the other activities you perform. If you don’t get much activity outside of dedicated exercise, then including a couple weekly sessions of low-intensity steady state cardio is beneficial for improving cardiovascular health and conditioning levels.

Someone wanting to boost fat loss or improve conditioning could begin with two sessions per week and increase it to three after a couple months, for example.

How to progress: Progression is possible in several ways. Increase the duration of the activity — begin with 20-minute sessions and add five minutes every four or five weeks. Increase the intensity — using an air bike, for example, pedal at a sustained rate of 30 RPMs and gradually progress to 40 RPMs over a couple months. Increase the frequency — begin with one session per week and progress to two after several weeks, and then three weekly sessions a few weeks after that.

To keep the cardio sessions efficient, once 30-35-minute sessions are sustained, I like to focus on increasing work capacity, like gradually increasing the resistance level on a cardio machine, for example, or the RPMs on an air bike.

When to do it: Anytime. If you strength train three days per week, a great way to schedule the activity is to do cardio work on non-lifting days. Cardio work after strength training is fine too if you need to do it on the same day.

Low-intensity steady state cardio sessions can be broken up into chunks as well. If dedicating 30 minutes to a cardio session isn’t doable, break it up into something like a 15-minute walk in the morning and a 15-minute walk in the evening.

High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)

High-intensity intervals are, by definition, hard to perform. The intensity is high, the physical effort is high, and it’ll make you feel like you’ve inhaled fire, which is fun in a weird sadistic way.

The perk to this high-effort level is that a HIIT workout takes less time to complete than a low-intensity steady state session. Low-intensity steady state sessions can last 30 minutes or more, but an effective HIIT workout can be done in about 15 minutes.

High-intensity intervals consist of a brief warm-up, then a sprint, followed by an “easy” rest interval. Details in a moment, but first …

This type of cardio is best for: Someone with minimal time to work out; someone who wants to spend minimum time working out; someone who won’t do low-intensity steady state consistently because they find it so boring that after a mere two minutes they shout Screw this! and stop.

I don’t have trainees perform HIIT if they don’t already have a decent conditioning base (i.e., I don’t recommend HIIT to someone who hasn’t done any type of physical activity recently; I prefer they start with low-intensity steady state to develop a base of conditioning).

Methods of high-intensity interval training: For most people, most of the time, I recommend using an air bike, upright bike, or recumbent bike for HIIT. Why? Because there’s no skill involved with those machines — there’s no learning curve, so it’s hard to screw it up compared to, say, sprinting on a treadmill which comes with the risk of tripping and getting catapulted across the gym before splattering on the floor leaving you with bumps and bruises to your body, and ego.

Other options for high-intensity interval training include the elliptical machine, rower (if you’re proficient at the movement), and even things like hill sprints or pushing/pulling a loaded sled.

How to do it: I like a 1:4 sprint to recovery ratio. Meaning, a 15-second sprint would be followed by a 60-second “easy” recovery period. Or a 30-second sprint followed by a 2-minute “easy” period.

How to progress: Gradually perform more sprints — begin with five sprints (sprint 15 seconds, go at an easy pace for 60 seconds) and every few weeks add one round until you perform 10 sprints. Gradually increase the resistance level if using a cardio machine or increase RPMs if using an air bike.

How often to do it: If you’ve never done HIIT, or haven’t done it in a while, begin with one session per week. After a month or so it can be increased to two weekly sessions, and a month later another session can be added, if desired. For those who strength train and want to build muscle or strength, limit HIIT workouts to once or twice per week. Due to its intensity, HIIT produces more fatigue than something like low-intensity steady state.

When to do it: Whenever it fits your schedule is the best answer. If you also strength train, perform the HIIT work after the workouts, on non-lifting days, or several hours before or after a strength training session.

Do I Need Cardio if My Job is Physically Demanding?

“My job is physically demanding, so I don’t need to do cardio.” Some, particularly those with physically-demanding jobs like construction work or running a farm, can make this claim.

If your job has you on your feet for several hours a day most days per week, do you need dedicated cardio work?

Maybe. Maybe not. It depends on your goals.

An individual interested exclusively in health benefits (prevention of cardiovascular disease, for example) may not need additional dedicated cardio activity if their job has them moving regularly. The American Medical Association recommends that adults get at least 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity per week to improve overall cardiovascular health. If you accumulate this activity through your job, great.

Once you’ve become accustomed to this activity level, it no longer provides a novel stimulus because your body has adapted to it. Think about a time when you suddenly increased your physical activity drastically. Maybe you worked a physically demanding job during the summer. Or you started a new job that had you on your feet all day. You were sore and exhausted initially. But after a while, you adjusted to the demand and it was just part of daily life and didn’t represent the same physical challenge it did at first.

This means for an individual wanting to further improve cardiovascular health or work capacity, or boost fat loss, training will be needed. This is when one of the cardio methods can be useful.

This is no different than if you started strength training for the first time. Let’s say you deadlifted 135 pounds for 3 sets of 5 reps, and you did that three days per week. Initially you would get sore, and the new stimulus would build strength and muscle, but if you deadlifted 135 pounds for 3 sets of 5 reps three days per week and never added weight or sets, you wouldn’t get stronger or build more muscle. Your body is fully adapted to the demand and that stimulus no longer elicits a response.

So, What Type of Cardio is “Best”?

You likely noticed what was missing above — no single cardio method was labeled “best” for fat loss or overall health improvement and disease prevention.

What type of cardio is best for fat loss?

What type of cardio is best for improving health?

Is one type of cardio superior for fat loss, improved quality of life, and health benefits?

Yes. The one you will do consistently. It can be that simple. Doable and sustainable are more important than theoretically optimal.

When it comes to fat loss, the most important thing is achieving a sustained caloric deficit. This can be accomplished by simply eating less, burning more total calories through exercise and increased physical activity, or a combination of the two. No cardio method is better than the other (though one may have an advantage which is discussed below).

You’re not limited to any single type of cardio. What you do can change as your preferences, or schedule, change. For instance, if you prefer low-intensity cardio but your available time to work out gets shortened, switch to the more time-efficient high-intensity interval training.

Or maybe you love winter sports. Your cardio activity during the winter months could be skiing several times per week. You can participate in LISS or HIIT during the other months.

Something to keep in mind: Not every activity fits neatly into one of the cardio categories above. For example, mountain biking could be a combination of high-intensity and low-intensity cardio work. Same thing could apply to swimming, road biking, and other activities.

How to Include Cardio in Your Routine

Want help adding cardio into your routine, or not quite sure where to begin? Here are some layouts you can use to include cardio in your weekly schedule.

An excellent goal is to do something every day to help solidify a workout habit. Here’s an excellent weekly schedule that works well for many, especially those who like to do something most days:

Day 1: Strength training workout

Day 2: 20-minutes low-intensity steady state*

Day 3: Strength training workout

Day 4: 20-minutes low-intensity steady state

Day 5: Strength training workout

Day 6: Fun activity for 20-60 minutes

Day 7: “Off” or fun activity for 20-60 minutes

*Every four to five weeks five minutes can be added, up to 30 minutes.

Remember, low-intensity work can be broken into chunks throughout the day; 15 minutes in the morning and 15 in the evening, for example.

Here’s a sample weekly schedule for someone who wants, or needs, to spend minimum time working out:

Day 1: 30-minute strength training workout

Day 2: 10-minute HIIT workout*

Day 3: 30-minute strength training workout

Day 4: Off

Day 5: 30-minute strength training workout

Day 6: 10-minute HIIT workout*

Day 7: Off or fun activity for 20-60 minutes

*Two-minute warm-up, sprint 15 seconds, easy recovery for 60 seconds. Every three to four weeks add an additional sprint.

These sample weekly schedules can be tailored to your goals, preferences, and needs, but both are good frameworks to build from.

Cardio Takeaways

To summarize:

Regular physical activity clearly provides health benefits (article). Do something and do it consistently.

Some research demonstrated that high-intensity and very-high-intensity exercise may suppress appetite more than moderate-intensity exercise of the same duration, thus contributing more to fat loss (article).

Enjoyment should be a consideration when selecting a method of exercise to ensure long-term compliance (article). In other words, if you despise HIIT, don’t do HIIT. If you loathe LISS and find it mind-numbingly boring, don’t do LISS. If you hate any type of “structured” exercise, find a sport or activity you enjoy.

High-intensity interval training and steady-state cardio are both useful for combating obesity. However, compliance may be higher with HIIT for some individuals because of its time efficiency (article).

There are no “bests” or unbreakable rules when it comes to cardio.

Do something. Do it regularly, consistently. That matters most.

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