#branch am trying too...

[mapletine]

sinsinger’s eye

[arcadekitten]

Are Vas and Reggie also apothisexuals?? 💜🤍💗🖤

I was gonna say "they are in my head" but then I remembered that I made them and what I want in my head is just real

Yes, they are! ♡

[atopvisenyashill]

i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

[blade-that-was-broken]

“Hey Clay?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I know you don’t really like to talk about your older bro-...” 

“Did he call again? Ignore it, he’ll stop. Honestly, he should know better by now,” Clay grumbled, not looking up from his project. Last week, Bruce had called him, out of the blue. It had been a weird phone call, acting as if the last several years didn’t happen. As if Bruce didn’t just pick up and move across the country the moment he could, leaving the rest of them to their mother.

He knew he was holding a ridiculous grudge. It had been years. And Clay might have gotten over it eventually, if Bruce hadn’t replaced them with his perfect family. He barely stayed in contact - even with the brothers who weren’t as mad at him. Branch had been young when Bruce left, barely six years old. Clay wasn’t a whole ton better but at least Branch knew him to an extent. Branch at least knew his favorite color. Clay doubted Branch knew the first thing about Bruce. 

“He… he’s here.” 

Bruce wouldn’t leave his resort and his wife and well, now his kids. It was like he expected everyone to pick up and go visit him just because he lived on an exotic island or whatever. As if Clay didn’t have responsibilities or Floyd wasn’t constantly traveling. As if it was so easy for Grandma to leave the house and fly across the country. Bruce barely called and he never, ever visited - much less out of the blue like this. 

Clay stopped and looked up, his head swiveling around to look back at his best friend. Her curly blonde hair was wrapped up in a messy ponytail, which was fairly normal, but the uncertain and awkward expression on her face was definitely not the norm for her. “What?” he asked, shocked. 

She nodded. “Yeah. There is a guy down in the courtyard. He said he’s your older brother.” 

Clay shook his head. Bruce would never leave his precious wife and resort to visit him, especially when he knew how much Clay was upset with him. Had been for years. Honestly, aside from one phone call a week or two ago, Clay hadn’t really heard from him in years. Clay could have chalked it up to Bruce just knowing that he was angry with him for abandoning him - them - with their mother the first moment he could, but he barely kept in contact with Floyd and Branch as well. And they didn’t hold the hard feelings that Clay did. Not that Clay was much better; he didn’t talk to any of his brothers much either. 

“There is no way,” he protested with a huff, rolling his eyes. She must be mistaken, there was no other option. “He’s never made a trip out here. He would never leave his resort. What is he doing out here?” Viva hesitated, glancing away, which was very strange for her. She was very straightforward and easily excitable. Clay felt his brow furrow a little. “Viva…” 

“He’s not… like how you said.” 

He just sighed and took a deep breath. Bruce definitely had a way with people; he always had. Granted, Clay probably painted him in mostly a crappy light, due to the fact that whenever the subject did come up - which was extremely rare - it was not often positive. Clay had a lot of anger and probably a lot of resentment. It was a work in progress. “Look, Viv. I know he’s easy to believe. He seems soooooo friendly and charming that you want to just swoon or whatever. He’s got that effect on people but…” 

“No.” 

“No?” Clay asked, confused. She said it so strong, so flat, so sure and Clay wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

“Clay… he’s not like that at all. He was actually really quiet and awkward and super uncertain but held him with some kind of…rigidness? At least as much as he could,” Viva looked uncomfortable, like she had seen something she really didn’t like. He wasn’t sure what that was about. At the moment, he was more hung up on the description which did not sound like Bruce at all. 

He scoffed. “Bruce?” 

“He didn’t say that was his name,” Viva continued, still uncertain, glancing towards the window. “But you only have one older brother right?” 

Clay blinked and his whole world came to a standstill. “I….” 

“Clay?”

Older brothers. 

There was no way, though. He hadn’t heard anything from him since their parent’s divorce and when he was practically dragged away almost kicking and screaming. Clay barely remembered it; he tried not to. Everyone had been crying but Branch’s screaming, going along with everyone else's tears kind of drowned everything out. It hadn’t been a pretty memory and Clay avoided thinking about it. Coupling that with his mother’s systematic way of erasing anything that evoked him or their father from their house and their lives, it only took a few years for everyone to stop considering them entirely. 

His eyes widened. There was no way. There was no way it was possible. 

Clay didn’t even think. He bolted out the door, not even bothering to strip off his lab coat. There was no way. It had been at least fifteen years. What were the chances? After fifteen years? There was no way. 

He had to be sure. 

Making his way down to the courtyard, with Viva shouting after him, he scanned the area upon slamming the doors open. It had been a decade and a half. He had no idea what to look for anymore. They had all changed. 

“He’s by the fountain, sitting on the stone wall,” Viva supplied. 

That helped. He made his way over, still looking over the area until he spotted a more middle aged guy with short hair and bandages on his arm. When he looked, Viva nudged him, giving him the sign that who she had talked to was him. Definitely not Bruce. 

He looked over at Clay and recognized him, suddenly nervous. Clay just stared. That was all he could really muster up to do. “Uh… hi, Clay. I know you might not really remember me but…” 

Clay didn’t say a word at first, just launching himself at his big brother, knocking him into the grass behind in a hug. He clearly wasn’t expecting it but he took to the action pretty quickly, wrapping his arms around Clay’s back for support and to keep him from being tossed around. 

“John Dory.” 

Clay couldn’t remember the last time he thought of him, much less said his name out loud. He hated that. His eyes were squeezed shut, just soaking up the firm grasp his oldest - his oldest - brother had on him. He had so much to say and so many questions but only one happened to come out. It had been fifteen years and now John Dory just showed up out of the blue. 

“How did…how did you find me?”

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. There was a lot he wanted to say and do but his mouth had run off with him, questioning so much that he really didn’t actually care the answers to. Because he was here. After fifteen years. 

“Bruce told me.” 

Clay shifted slightly. “B-Bruce?” He supposed it might have been easier to find a resort owner before some crazy older college student. Although Clay felt like he had his name out there more than his other older brother, as he had written papers and had been featured in several journals. Although it might not have been in things John might have looked through. They could be pretty niche. 

“I…” John tensed a little and hesitated. “He found me. The hospital found him, I guess? They found him and called him. I’ve been staying with him for my recovery.” 

Clay’s heart dropped as he pulled away, trying to assess. He scrambled off his brother, stepping back. “Your what?” 

John grimaced. 

Viva nudged his shoulder and spoke quietly. “Clay.” 

Clay’s eyes were drawn downward. Sure, there were bandages on his arm but John’s grip didn’t seem to be very weak so he doubted that would be so debilitating and honestly, his legs seemed fi-… where was his leg? 

“W-Where is your leg?” 

“Sudan… I think?” 

Clay just stared. 

“Right, sorry. Kinda dark humor there,” John muttered, sitting up a little more. “I was… I have been, I guess, in the military for a while. Over ten years I guess, uhm… it’s a long story. But some stuff happened, my arm got kinda burned up but it’ll be okay. Head got banged around a bit but that should be fine too. The biggest thing was my leg which… well, that ended my military career pretttyyyy quick. The hospital found Bruce and yeah, I’ve been staying with him but…. I wanted to see you. Needed to see you.” 

There was a pause. 

“Sorry, that was… that was a lot of words.” 

“When Bruce called…” Clay drifted off in realization. Bruce had called to tell Clay about John. 

“He didn’t want to freak you out.” 

“But I hung up.” 

John nodded. “Bruce didn’t really tell me anything about what happened with you guys or anything but I just… I bought a plane ticket and well, here I am.” 

Here he was. 

“Does Bruce even know you’re here?” Clay asked, uncertainly. With John’s state, it probably meant that Bruce was kind of taking care of him, which meant he was in charge of his welfare and health. John was still on leg crutches and probably couldn’t get around super well. It couldn’t have been that long since it happened. 

John snorted. “I am a grown man.” 

“Missing a leg!” 

“So?” John asked, his nose wrinkling. Clay almost felt like he had been slapped. Floyd and Branch did the same thing. “I knew a guy who lost both and guess what? He lives alone. Does just fine.” 

“He’s probably freaking out.”

“Bruce? Probably.”

“Then why are you here?” 

John tried not to look hurt. He would have done a great job too, if he hadn’t looked away. It was a telltale sign and Clay noticed. He didn’t even realize what he had said and how it came out until it was too late. He cursed himself; he didn’t want John to think he didn’t want him here. “I haven’t seen you in fifteen years, Clay. No matter how much time passes or what happens, I love you.” 

Shit. 

“Clay… he’s so cute,” Viva sniffled. “You never told me-” 

“That I existed?” John guessed, making Clay cringe. “That seems to be an ongoing theme.” 

“JD, I just…” he didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t have any excuse, really. He could blame a lot on his mother but that felt wrong to say to him. There wasn’t any real excuse that would make anyone feel better. 

“It’s alright,” John replied, although Clay could tell there was some struggle. Which made sense. No one wanted to feel forgotten by loved ones. Especially not the ones still alive. “Bruce didn’t tell his kids I existed either. I’m getting over it.” 

He shouldn’t have to get over it, Clay thought. He shouldn’t have had to do any of it. He should have spent the last fifteen years with them. He should have been there for birthdays, for their graduations, for their important moments. He should have been there when Bruce got married. For Floyd’s first show. For Clay’s best college awards. Bruce’s kids should have known their uncle their entire life, not just now and so forth. 

“She’s dead, our mother,” Clay said, blandly. He blamed her a lot, for pretty much everything. Not the divorce itself; that was both of them, but for cutting them off from his brother. For forcing his name to never be spoken. For erasing his memory. It was one thing to keep them away from their father, although Clay didn’t like that either, but to keep them away from their older brother was unforgivable for him. 

“So is dad. Over ten years.”

Ten years. Over even. John lost his family, became an adult and lost his father. No wonder he joined the military. 

“Six.” 

“I tried looking for you,” John promised, like it was something he had to convince Clay of. Like he didn’t want Clay to think that he didn’t try. It wasn’t meant to make Clay feel worse and Clay knew it but it did anyway. Because Clay hadn’t. He hadn’t looked. He hadn’t even considered it. “Before joining the military. After too, a little, I suppose. I’m no detective I guess.” 

Clay just stared at him. Did he think…?

“I know…” John frowned again. “I know you’re mad at Bruce but I can’t… I… Clay, I want to be…to have… to be in some part of your life and I just…” 

“I’m not mad at you.” 

Clay hated the almost hopeful look that John stared at him with. It was a expression that screamed he wasn’t expecting this reaction. “You… aren’t?”  

“No. Of course not. Our parents were petty and bitter and it is all their fault. JD, you never… you didn’t abandon anyone. Dad took you away and mom decided to try and erase that part of her life. Have you blamed yourself this whole time? For years?” 

“No, no, I just… I don’t want you to think I stayed away or something.” 

“I believe you,” Clay promised. “And I’m so glad you’re here.”

[nafohcnis]

jd is just so much hes Such a good character. as someone with an actual shitty oldest brother that ruined his life i kind of find how people treat his flaws funny. esp when people blow them out of proportion like my guy was struggling and stressed and trying and . it didnt go so well but hey! he’s never hurt you on purpose and he wants to make up for it and be in your lives again

johnd oddory uhhggffgggg!!!!!!!! its so silly whenevr i think of how engrained this guy is in my head, cuz im the youngest out of my siblings but im closest with my sister The Eldest Daughter.. AND WHATS FUNNY is she says i’d be john dory and she’d be branch.. i forced her to watch trolls.she hates musicals. LAWL.

oh but anyway john dory’s whole dynamic.. ESPECIALLY with branch is soo… John Dory as the eldest, and the least favorite brother among them and branch as the youngest and most adored.. ugh it just so so so good. especially with how they mirror eachother so much… and how everyone treats them differently even though theyre so similar!!!! not that its a bad thing its just so.!!!

JOHN DORY MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD when i see him reuniting with his brothers like oh my god. because i KNOW his last impression on them was horrible and all their reactions are reasonable but man. John “GOODBYE FOREVER” Dory was the Only one to come back to the troll tree. Was the one to get everyone together to save floyd. Was in isolation for 20 years thinking his brothers were dead probably all his fault.

AND THEN guess what he WASNT EVEN OBSESSED WITH THE PERFECT FAMILY HARMONY AGAIN WHEN THEY REUNITE!! when floyds like ‘jd its diamond💔’ this dumbass goes ‘DIAMOND SHATTERING DIAMOND HAMMER’ he wasnt even THINKING OF IT!!!! uggghhhh and then theyre like THE SAME OLD JOHN DORY which is .partially true. but i feel like the siblings anger at him was definitely some bottled up feelings coming out cuz ths guy was clarifying that it was For FLOYD!!!!! ugh ugh ugh whateve Watt ever..!!!! ugh ugh ugh ugh everyone hug eachother and apologize and talk NOW!

[kihaku-gato]

You'd think the greenhouse collapsing this winter from the late winter snowload would sting- and I mean- it does, but its fixable, it's ensured-

but no

what truly stings is the fact the rabbits demolished the Honeycrisp and Ambrosia apple treelings; Deeply stripped the bark at the base (below the graft unions) all around said treelings. They gave no mercy, not a single gap to give the trees a ghost of a chance to recover from the scionwood. We had only just started getting fruit (the former had to be prevented from fruiting due to the weight while the latter was fruiting a small but otherwise nice load of fruit since it was taking off the quickest).

Guess the low snowload we had this winter up till January really did come with a price. Also guess its rabbit season, if we can even get the time to hunt the bold bastards.

[kiwibirdlafayette]

MIANITE AND LIFE SERIES? oh please,,, please tell me holy shit im VERY normal abt that idea (im lying)

YESSSSSS I AM SO. I AM SO NORMAL (biggest liar)

I'm still sorta workin on the story plot wise but basically I imagine it as like the lifers are brought into like a semi-reset realm of Mianite under the guise that it's supposed to be like a regular life series (but its not 👀!) Ianite's back to being imprisoned and maybe there's also some other underlying happenings Watcher related or not idk haha

(the god followings i mention later on were based off @ranababamboo , they made some awesome art for this crossover u should totes go check out :D)

I think it'd be funny if theyre still greeted by a version of Dec (or maybe Pix or Iskall would make a funky cool prist :Oc) and are introduced to the mechanic of the game- It works similar to Secret Life where they're all given a set of tasks; One from Mia, Dia and Ianite, and based on how they go about the tasks each session, it leads into them forming factions (aka the god teams) with Lizzie starting off with Mianite and later finding evidence of a Marthanite and BigB doin his funky backrooms things (he's set to follow the World Historian how he gets there I'm not sure but if anyone wants to add on feel free! /nf)

Tiem Reester isn't present but I think it'd be interesting if there's like traces of them (implying this takes place post-s2 but funky multiverse relative universe things hehe) I have plans for Jordan and Tom specifically in linking this to their hardcore series from last year I affectionately named Linked Life bc of the whole "if we all die the server resets" but ye. ye ;]c

I imagine tons of shenanigans ensue ofc from both just them all bein the silly goofys they are, and then as they start to form their factions (maybe both by god followings but also if the factions are mix of the different gods too would be interesting to see... Like Mounders with two dianitees (pearl n joel) a mianitee (bdubs) and an ianitee (mumbo) for example👀 As the sessions go on the tasks become more interesting/offputting or odd that are maybe more lore related, like one big one I keep coming back to is Ianite sending Mumbo to the S1 skycage via a book only given to him with a chest of redstone supplies to make a flying machine

How much the gods appear kinda varies, I've already half written this bit that Scott, Tango and Mumbo are the first to see a physical form of Ianite after a redstone-filled night of building and Pearl becoming Dianite's champion so yeyeyeeyeyeeee!!! :D

[whoupsqlointing]

i wish there were more sodas that tasted like energy drinks. i want non caffeinated energy drinks. most sodas are boring to me but i feel like theres so much variety in energy drinks and i keep finding new ones that i really like. but i also have such awful caffeine tolerance and really shouldnt be finishing entire cans in one sitting and they end up just going flat in my fridge while i take tiny sips over several days and thats stupid and lame

[primordial0riginator]

Happpyyyy cuz everyone is so nice to meeee

[blade-that-was-broken]

@endlesspaint

[lunasilvis]

Writing an application letter this weekend to Netherlands Institute for Human Rights. they're looking for a press officer / communications advisor for projects in the Dutch Caribbean for 32 hrs a week :)) wish me luck!

[quirkle2]

Shigeo follows slowly, and a bit distantly, perhaps. Her voice feels a bit like jello; it doesn’t help that the rest of the cafeteria drowns out half of her words. “Is there a reason you think somebody is doing this and not… ya’know. Just bad reception or something?” Mezato ticks her finger back and forth like a grandfather clock. “Mob, Mob, Mob… First of all, bad reception does not cause phones to overheat and explode—actual case here, by the way—and second of all, don’t you want it to be some weird, paranormal thing going on?” “Uhm,” Shigeo tries, deciding between the “correct” answer in Mezato’s head and the correct answer in basic morality, “No?” She blinks, and then slumps, eyes lidded as her neckerchief almost dips into her vegetables. “Simpleton, Mob. Simpleton! Don’t you like excitement?” Shigeo stares at her blankly, hoping the message is clear.

[emystic-old]

"Quina look how big your forehead was as a baby, damn!"

"Stupid...that's not me, I was like 5 then that's you as a baby. Look." Points at her forehead and then the picture. "See that's your birthmark, so that's YOUR big ass flatscreen."

"Oh...well, damn...was my forehead that big?"

[hiratelier]

Many thoughts running through my head as I prepare to upload my last UTAU cover of the year because I'll barely touch the silly singing robot program next year when I have more exciting things to work on...but even then it feels like you're saying goodbye to a close friend you've been with for almost 9 years

[whirling-fangs]

🍪🍷.

MY EXPERIENCE IN THE ROLEPLAYING COMMUNITY // accepting!!

🍪 my favorite roleplay memory

[[ It's practically impossible to pick one from almost a decade of RP, but I fondly remember the time when I first wrote a 3-way thread. The plotting, the emulation between the writers, the plot building bit by bit as each of us added their ideas... it was really amazing. I would LOVE to do that again over here ;w; ]]

🍷 a character i want to write but never made a blog for

[[ there is none :') It takes a LOT to make me pick up a muse. I have a very single-track brain and when I obsess over a character enough to actually muse them, it lasts a few years. I tried having two muses at the same time when I first started writing Inosuke, and uh... that didn't go well. Brain wants boar and boar only ;-; ]]

[ceo-of-sloppy-women]

Might try Indian food this weekend when my parents & brother go out to their piano recital (I hate recitals, having grown up attending them). Not sure what to order though… hm… will have to look around