#brooklynn Cannot Compute

[swan2swan]

Until someone from the staff says otherwise, I will stake actual, genuine money that this was an exchange from the writer's room that made it into the show.

[emberphoenixisgoingtolive]

i'd love to see ur takes on dinostar and yasammy the way u did ur benji post 🥹..... all ur headcanons n posts are amazing fr

HERE YA GOOO (dinostar hcs here)

domestic: fluff ahead

getting together:

Sammy fell first (some time around season 4 of camp cretaceous) Yaz fell harder

the first year or two is such a joyous and yuriful experience. this is both their first real relationships and they are so excited. they go out holding hands all the time. they look up cute nicknames to use

Yaz talks to her mum about everything (they’re basically besties) and especially during the first year she’s always excitedly telling her mum about Sammy and how amazing she is. Yaz’s mum is so proud of her daughter and her daughter’s gf

Sammy is more private about her relationship but her family have always mostly been welcoming of Yaz (up until the dinosaurs got to the mainland and then all sorts of stuff happens)

they never really Broke Up, they just agreed they needed time to sort out their issues and resolve their hurt separately, and with everything going on, they don’t have time for a relationship

once they get back to the states post chaos theory, a few days after getting settled, they sit and have a long conversation about what happened. it was just them on the back porch under the moonlight, talking about their feelings and resolving to work on themselves and each other. Sammy promises not to treat Yaz like she’s fragile, and Yaz promises to communicate better and not distance herself so much. in a way, it’s almost like wedding vows. almost.

they agree to go to couples’ therapy, and it actually really helps them get better at communicating and talking stuff through and understanding how the other feels

they get engaged after living together on the ranch and dating for two years. they wanted to wait before marriage so they could be 100% sure they want to get married

when they get engaged, the first people they tell are Yaz’s mum, and the camp fam. they tell them over video call. the screaming is so loud the computer cannot cope and just has ten seconds of this horrible screechy static sound

the camp fam are all so happy for them, of course, but Brooklynn is especially thankful they’re so happy together because she would not have been able to forgive herself if she was part of the reason Sammy and Yaz didn’t get back together

general/miscellaneous headcanons:

being together is amazing, and soothing, and reassuring, and exciting. they get to live with their lover and best friend and partner in everything, and they’re still so thrilled by that after all these years. they have someone to lean on when they need it

their natural landscape is the countryside (Benji is the mountains and Dinostar is the city/beach)

Sammy is the sun, Yaz is the moon

they’re lesbian/bi. i can’t see Sammy liking men at all lmao

Sammy’s phone background is Yaz riding a horse on their ranch (when they have kids she changes it to a picture of Yaz, Sammy and their daughters sitting on the front porch of their ranch, which Brooklynn took when she and Darius came over)

Yaz’s phone background is Sammy on one of their sunset walks that Yaz took when Sammy wasn’t looking and she’s gently smiling (she changes it to the same photo Sammy has when they have kids)

Sammy’s name in Yaz’s phone is my love🖤🩷 (black heart because it’s her favourite colour and Sammy is her favourite person and pink is Sammy’s favourite colour)

Yaz’s name in Sammy’s phone is mi amor 🌺🐻⭐😘💘💐

their house is the spot everyone goes to for Thanksgiving/the autumn get together (they don’t celebrate thanksgiving they just like the excuse to get together and eat food and hang out) (Benji’s house is for Christmas, and Dinostar’s house is for their annual two week vacation in summer)

Yaz and Sammy love halloween, but the costume part of it where they pick a different fictional couple to dress up as and hand out candy to the neighbourhood kids

Ben is their wingman. he is rooting for them 100%. the only person more sad about their ‘breakup’ than Yaz and Sammy was Ben himself. probably second place joint wingmen are Kenji and Brooklynn

dating/intimacy headcanons:

Sammy’s love language is physical touch, words of affirmation, and actually all of them probably. she just loves her girl so much

Yaz’s love language is all of them to an extent but mostly acts of service. when she notices Sammy is even a bit tired she will do everything for her. once Sammy came in from a really long day of work and Yaz had done all the chores and even made dinner. Sammy cried with relief and also fell in love even harder

Yaz is also really defensive of Sammy. once someone made a homophobic comment in passing and Yaz stopped everything she was doing to tell them off and to get the fuck away from her girlfriend and that she will fistfight them if they bother Sammy again

Sammy makes flower crowns for Yaz from the wildflowers that grow on the ranch

Yaz sneak attack hugs Sammy from behind sometimes. no reason at all, just makes Sammy blush

Yaz is more used to the cold, so whenever Yaz and Sammy visit Yaz’s mother in Oregon, and Sammy gets cold, Yaz is taking off her jacket and giving it to Sammy no questions asked. even if it’s snowing

Sammy has fat rolls and Yaz loves to kiss them

Sammy also doesn’t shave often, and Yaz finds her body hair gorgeous actually

Yaz loves Sammy’s curves and muscles. in Yaz’s head, Sammy is the most gorgeous woman on the planet and Yaz regularly tells her so

Yaz is also obsessed with Sammy’s hair. Sammy grows her hair out after chaos theory and Yaz braids it everyday to keep it from getting tangled from all the farm work. she loves to comb her fingers through it when they’re cuddling, and grips it when they make out or have sex

Sammy looooves messing with Yaz’s hair. they’ll be kissing only for Yaz to find Sammy’s secretly undone her hair. Sammy puts little braids in flyaway strands while they’re cuddling. she’ll be sitting next to Yaz and curls a strand with her finger. Sammy also braids Yaz’s hair

they’re dating, but they’re also best friends. when they start sharing a bed on Sammy’s ranch and stuff, it’s so exciting and fun for them. the first time they do, they literally have a whole sleepover and do each others’ nails and stay up pretty late whispering secrets and stuff to each other (*in a blanket fort facing opposite each other under the same blanket* “Yaz... i have a crush on you 🤭” “i have a crush on you too!!” *both giggle*)

they adore going to the farmers’ market together. they get to hold hands and buy cool stuff, and at the end, they lay out everything they got on the kitchen table and send a picture to the camp fam because they love the farmers’ market

they’re lovers but they’re also partners in almost everything they do. they work so well as a team. if one of them is struggling with something, they text the other and they’ll be there as soon as humanly possible. together they can do anything

they split ranch responsibilities between them. Samm was nervous at first because she thought Yaz wouldn’t be as enthusiastic about the ranch life as Sammy, but Yaz actually loves it. she enjoys the physical work, caring for animals, parallel play, and of course, spending time with Sammy

Sammy deals with the larger animals like the cows, sheep, goats, and horses, and Yaz is mostly in charge of the chickens, ducks, geese, and most of the stuff they grow

they love running around with the fireflies together. the fireflies come out and they’re dashing through the grass, holding hands and laughing and shouting with happiness. then they lie on the grass, and watch the fireflies and the stars and usually end up making out

Sammy sings all the time. when she’s working on the ranch chores, when she’s cooking, when she’s working. Yaz gets so used to it, that when she isn’t singing for whatever reason, Yaz really misses the sound and the ranch sounds too quiet without her

they are extremely silly with each other sometimes. we forget they dressed up in avocado costumes for halloween once i think this is all but canon

Sammy has a punching bag tied to a tree in the ranch that she sometimes goes to absolute town on. when she’s not in a seriously bad mood she lets Yaz watch her

Sammy is an absolute expert at calming down Yaz’s nightmares. it’s second nature to her. she knows exactly what she needs to do. she hums lullabies into Yaz’s hair and strokes her cheek and kisses her forehead. she knows it all

Yaz also gets better at calming down Sammy after a nightmare since there’s a period of time where Sammy’s nightmares are worse than Yaz’s, and Yaz is up a lot calming down Sammy (which she’s completely okay with). Sammy needs to be cared for but especially after a nightmare. Yaz will hold her, soothe her, even sing to her. if it’s really bad they’ll get out of bed and sit in the barn with Bessie, and Yaz will wrap Sammy in a blanket

original nicknames post here — Yaz tries to find Spanish nicknames for Sammy but they get lost in translation and Sammy gets nicknamed apple tree or smth (Sammy adores it)

throneofrayllum headcanon that Yaz calls Sammy sweetheart and i LOVE that (despite me having trauma around that nickname lol)

Sammy gives Yaz new nicknames every other week. she cycles through them. she goes onto google to find new ones. half of her nicknames are inside jokes. Yaz got stuck with ‘scorcher’ for two (2) weeks. (“scorcher, eh... because i’m so hot?” “actually because you burnt our dinner yesterday. but yes, darlin’, you’re gorgeous”)

sick caretaking headcanons post here

wedding headcanons:

yasammy wedding headcanons in this post

Brooklynn and Ben help Sammy get ready

Darius and Kenji help Yaz get ready (they’re siblings guys... they’re siblings...)

Yaz and Sammy are both not in touch with their fathers, and they don’t have brothers either, and Yaz and Kenji are siblings but so are Yaz and Ben, but so are Sammy and Kenji, so Kenji and Ben (both best men) argued over who would get to walk them down the aisle, and they decide to all walk arm in arm

when they got to the front, they all hug with Brooklynn (the bridesmaid) and Darius (the other best man)

i feel the need to emphasise their honeymoon on a Greek island because they love mamma mia, it’s canon guys trust me

they’d probably bounce around a few Greek islands, one of them being Lesbos. they bring back some really cool poetry books of Sappho’s works, and some artwork too. they felt sooo safe there; they love it

daily life headcanons:

after chaos theory, the camp fam live together for about a year on Sammy’s ranch and get into all sorts of goofy sitcom plots (while also having therapy) while simultaneously enjoying the most lovely cottagecore vibes

Ben and Kenji move to New Mexico (yeah i know i had them in California in my previous post, i changed my mind) and Darius and Brooklynn move to Dallas, and Yaz and Sammy, as the group parents, find themselves really missing them, so they carry on their tradition of a weekly video call to catch up

Sammy doesn’t really like to raise animals to sell for meat, so she keeps animals for stuff like milk and eggs (her and Yaz sell them at the farmer’s market). mostly cows, a few sheep, a mama goat and her baby, geese, ducks, and lots of chickens.

her and Yaz also own a riding school with horses. they love riding horses together, it’s so much fun

their school is specifically disability accessible, so most of their students are neurodivergent and/or disabled. they also have quite a few people from toxic households who come, and they make sure to allow them to spend time at the school as much as possible, asking them to stay behind to help muck out the horses and put away the equipment. eventually they become part time hires. the school is such a safe space. this is especially important to Sammy because she knows what it’s like to be estranged from your family and need somewhere stable to rely on (for her, it was Yaz and Nadia)

they’re aunt and auntie to their students

Sammy has such a soft spot for stray animals. they have several dogs and cats that Sammy just found abandoned somewhere. eventually Yaz has to put her foot down because they do Not have room to keep all these animals and there is an animal shelter an hour away that can take them and will look after them. they do however give one of the dogs to Ben and Kenji since they really want one

Yaz especially gets really into gardening, and they start selling other produce like berries, peppers, tomatoes, etc etc

Sammy’s ranch has one floor, which is very convenient for Yaz because her ankle does not do well on stairs

when Yaz properly moved in, Sammy made sure the house was super accessible with grab rails and a shower chair without Yaz even asking. Yaz is so touched by the gesture she almost starts crying

Sammy also builds a bunch of benches around the ranch because Yaz needs to sit down more (and she is so thankful Sammy did that, but also, Sammy built them herself and Yaz got to enjoy watching Sammy in a crop top chopping and sawing wood, nailing it together, etc)

Yaz is an early bird, so she always takes a walk around the ranch by herself. it helps her clear her head and think about what she needs to do in the day

then they eat breakfast together outdoors on the back porch sofa every day (unless the weather does not permit it)

they usually get most of the ranch chores done before lunch (together they work fast) and work at the riding school in the afternoon (it’s only open in the afternoon)

lunchtime is usually something quick, or leftovers from a tupperware, since Sammy is very big on not wasting food

Yaz got into the habit of meal prepping when she was at university so she’ll usually make lots of portions of stuff to freeze and defrosts them for lunches

Yaz gets pretty exhausted in heavy heat, so Sammy and Yaz have an hour nap/lie down together every afternoon in the hottest part of the day in summer with the air con on full blast

Yaz also mostly works indoors and deals with the paperwork for the riding school; Sammy does most of the teaching in the really hot months

once they’ve finished their lessons it’s around 6pm and they go for a ride just the two of them around the fields

then they go home and cook dinner together

Yaz works out in the evening; she can’t run anymore because of her ankle but she has lots of exercises she can do, and she has extremely strong arms and abs. she also gets into weightlifting and Sammy hangs around to enjoy the view keep her company

mentioned in another post, but Yaz usually falls asleep after Sammy, so the last thing Yaz gets to do every day is fall asleep in her girlfriend’s arms and it makes her so so happy

Yaz and Sammy both love the rain and there isn’t much rain in Texas, so when there is rain, they are out there running around and laughing and dancing (singing in the rain plays). then they go back inside and dry off and have a cup of hot chocolate

they usually go to visit Yaz’s mother in Oregon in the winter for a week or two, hoping to see the snow. Sammy loves snow. the wonder on her face at the snow falling will never fail to make Yaz melt

Yaz really enjoys baking bread. kneading it is soothing and repetitive, and it helps to ground her if her anxiety is particularly bad that day (but she enjoys it even if there isn’t). there is always a fresh loaf in their house.

they live near a food festival that’s active in the spring/summertime, and it has live music and a performance stage, and Sammy plays up there every so often. seeing her girl so happy up there, performing her heart out in sparkly clothes (and her iconic sparkly cowboy boots) is enthralling

having kids headcanons (i’m so sorry i don’t have more of these for Yaz and Sammy):

GIRL MOMS!!!!

Yaz really wants to carry but she has endometriosis so she can’t (which breaks her heart but she’s glad Sammy can carry)

Sammy assures Yaz that it’s okay, and that she’s really excited to be pregnant

Yaz is on top of the pregnancy stuff. she and Sammy organised the ivf, but once Sammy is actually pregnant, Yaz is taking very good care of her girl. she buys all the prenatal vitamins, books parenting classes, and does very thorough research, especially on their first baby, everything they need to know about caring for a baby

Sammy feels really bad sending Yaz out to get her pregnancy cravings but Yaz is down to do it. Sammy wants the nice jam that is only sold from one vendor only on a sunday morning? she’s GETTING the nice jam

Sammy ends up going into labour when her and Yaz are out on a walk in the ranch. Yaz is scared, but she holds herself together until she can get Sammy indoors

however, a few hours after Sammy goes into labour, there’s a bad wind storm and it’s too dangerous for them to drive to the hospital, so they’re stuck inside their ranch

really panicked, Yaz video calls the camp fam, her mum, and mrs Bowman (who is a nurse but is also trained in being a midwife) and they all keep them calm and give advice and direct her on how to give birth

their daughter is born safely and perfectly healthy, thank goodness

they decide they want another baby two years after the first, and this time when Sammy goes into labour, they’re able to get to a hospital, thank goodness

they swear the weather their babies were born to has influence on their personalities, because their firstborn girl has the personality of wild wind, but their second born girl has the personality of a warm spring day

Sammy is mama, Yaz is mom/mommy

they’re raising their kids bilingual; they speak english with Yaz and Spanish with Sammy

since Yaz didn’t really have a normal childhood she’s all the more keen to make sure her kids have a normal childhood experience with lots of fun things happening for their kids. she’s the one planning most of the day trips to theme parks, museums, aquariums, etc etc

they’re very keen to teach their kids to have responsibilities, especially around the ranch. the kids love helping out (sometimes) (sometimes it’s exhausting but they usually still do it)

Sammy never got an official quinceanera when she turned fifteen (she was on nublar) so she makes sure her girls get the most amazing one when they both turn fifteen. everyone is invited. it’s a huge deal. they have a massive party in the barn and dancing under the fireflies

[aspdkash]

I'm trying not to judge you. Why Kash?

ADJDJDFD okay okay, aaaa FAIR fair, I can't super blame you. Kash is a fuckin parasite of a man. But like?? Okay, so they made him really threatening without him ever really physically touching Darius (save for the shoulder check). They were making a one dimensional bad guy and that was it........... The issue is that how they went about it gave him a cluster B personality disorder. And you aren't born with those, you're given them, typically by your parents! :') I'll explain what I mean under the cut

(Edit: this isn't "ohh feel bad for him, excuse his actions" it's character and mental health analysis, which I have a passion for)

The biggest thing that stands out to me about Kash that I see people overlook, is that he breaks his own things and usually when he's flipping out he thinks he's by himself. I understand that people dislike Kash, he's violent, tried to kill Mae, he was violent around Darius. I myself was constantly worried about Darius and feared for him my first watch through.

But watching back through the show, when Kash has his meltdowns, he most often thinks he's by himself. He's not doing it to anyone, he's doing it when he believes he's alone. Sometimes the kids are there, like when Brooklynn and Yaz were in his computer lab. But he didn't know that they were there.

So much of Kash's anger happens whenever he thinks no one else is around. Which means he's not doing it for attention. He's not doing it for intimidation. He's not doing it as manipulation. Because if he's by himself, who is he hurting? Who is he manipulating? He's breaking his own items.

Kash hits and pushes around his Brad units, destroys his own golf clubs, destroys his computers on site, he throws his phone. Kash lashes out against his own belongings, which is not normal for someone who is simply being aggressive for manipulative purposes.

And you may be thinking well, those could just as easily belong to Mantah Corp. And you're right, those are things that are probably provided by Mantah Corp. But the reason that I think he destroys his own things, is because of his introduction. Whenever he gets the notification that one of the Brads is missing. He breaks his computer monitor with his fidget spinner and then in a later episode throws his phone. We know that Kash has to travel to the island, implying that he came from his home. Due to the context, those are items that likely belong to him specifically. We also see that if Kash were to break his phone while on the island, he would not have a backup. Which means Kash's actions are likely more impulsive than calculated.

That doesn't mean it's okay that he's acting like that! But when you pay attention to the context in which he is having a meltdown, it says a lot about where he is mentally as opposed to what you're seeing on the screen as the viewer. Kash lashes out, screams, he breaks and throws things. All of that is unacceptable behavior for an adult to display. But the fact that he even does it when he's by himself means that this is a deeper issue than him trying to be threatening. This seems like an issue where he genuinely cannot control his emotions. He has anger issues because he was never properly taught how to deal with his emotions in a rational way. That may sound extremely headcanon heavy, but everything that I've mentioned has multiple instances of evidence in the show.

Again, this is not trying to absolve him of anything. All that I'm saying is that the from the show itself points to Kash acting that way because he was raised that way.

[mibhq-blog1]

Sirens blare within headquarters. Heads turn, extra terrestrial immigrants look around in alarm. The clerks urge them to calm, casting glances up at the massive screen at the end of the room. Some look up at Q’s glass office above the bull pen, but she isn’t there. She walks up the center aisle of the bullpen, right up to the twins manning the computer. “What is this time?” Q asks, her voice exasperated.

The twins work quickly. The masterfeed switch to that of an orbiting satellite. A massive saucer, dark and menacing, blots out the moon. “Oh hell,” Q swears. “Boglodites.” She turns to face the room. “Alright, people, look alive! We have a twenty-three-nineteen.” The twins set to work enacting the protocal. “Thanks to the ArcNet, we don’t have to worry about an invasion just yet,” Q explains, turning to face the room. “But Boglodites are not to be fucked with. Have they made any demands?”

Idikudip raises a long, teal finger to the screen. “Oh,” she says, reading the Bogloditian message ticking across the screen as the twins translate it. “Resistance is futile, you will be destroyed. So, nothing new,” she shrugs, unconcerned. “Weren’t Agents I and A assigned to a Boglodite case? Following up on those Boglodite eggs someone found in the Brooklynn tunnel― oh for fuck’s sake!”

WE HAVE THE HUMAN DESIGNATED AGENT I. LOWER THE ARCNET, RETURN OUR EGGS, AND AGENT I WILL NOT BE HARMED.

“Well, that just isn’t realistic. Alright, agents.” She turns to address the room. “All ships are grounded. Nothing leaves this planet. Our man is still on Earth, but we have to make sure he stays here. Agents! Find those damn eggs, and rescue that fool Agent I.”

“W̶̫͕͈̘̠̅̑̔̚h̴̘͓͑̀̀̎ȃ̸̖̀͠t̶̰͚͆͛̏͘͘ ̴͉͉̜̰̍̒̽ơ̷̢̺̈͘̕͝f̷͚͆̒́͒ ̴̗̐̅̚͝t̸͍͈̺͉̂̏͌̿h̷͖̅̀̾ẽ̶͇̞̊̉̽ ̸̧̙͋̏̾̎͂b̸̘̋ơ̶̝̤̬̈́͂g̵̻̖̰͔̻̈̕͝l̶̫͑͊͑͘͝ơ̶̞̞̟̟̯͗̀̽d̵̨̙͕͓̍̄͊̓̓͜ĩ̶̡̧͔̺̖t̵͕͙̦̮̽̅͜ë̴̡̜̗̭̥́̚͘ ̴̄��͓̟͓̩̑͝ͅs̸̲̟̆͆̏h̵͇̅i̸͎͓̋̆̆̇p̵͎̫̘̞̖̅̈͝?̵̨̥͔̊͗” Asks Bob.

“Make it seem like we’re cooperating, but charge the ArcNet repulsor array. We’ll show them what happens when you threaten the Earth.”

OOC information under the cut:

You heard the chief! Drop all your cases as this takes priority. Welcome to our first Doomsday event!

Agent I was last spotted with Agent A following a suspect into the Brooklyn Heights Townhouse subway exit.

You’ll have to pause any threads you have pre-event, but only temporarily. You can pick them up again when it’s over.

Despite the dire nature of this event, the world at large has no idea what’s going on, though there have been reports of people seeing some strange celestial phenomena.

Not only do agents have to work to find Agent I, his captors, and the Boglodite eggs, they must prevent a public panic.

The Boglodites can’t get through the ArcNet, but they can cause problems in orbit or inspire a panic.

Boglodites are some of the most destructive aliens in the galaxy. An attack by them would truly be devastating. The fact that there are any on Earth is cause for alarm.

Boris the Animal is still secure in LunarMax and not involved with this event.

Teamwork makes the dream work! Chief Q cannot activate the ArcNet repulsor array until Agent I is secure.