#buddie wip

[spotsandsocks]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday😈

My lovelies @tizniz @jesuisici33 @wikiangela thank you for tags

Finished author!Buck so obviously the next thing for me to do is get obsessed by demon!eddie. So as a tease here are the titles of some but not all of our demon lords. I may have gone over the top but who cares…. Also some of these may not be who you might think they are…

Prince of Flame and Shadows, Deliverer of Retribution and Unholy Justice, Scurge of the Soulless, Soldier Of Hell and Keeper of the Seven Keys of Forgiveness

Her Grace, The Lady of Wisdom, Royal Sword of He who leads us, Queen of Righteous Vengeance, Bringer of Retribution and Regret and the Terror of the Fallen

Empress of Lost Souls and Sinners, Seeker of Lies and Deceit and Holder of The Chalice of Veracity.”

Barroness; Twice Born Warrior, Watcher of the night and Hope of the Betrayed

Our Imperial Judge and Lord, Prince of the Silenced, Eyes of the Blinded and Abandoned. Lance of the Forgotten and Hidden Hearts

Duke of anguish and defeat . Torment of the Betrayers, guard to the traitor gate and the King’s last Arrow

The owner of the first title is already known in some of the clips so far… not hard to guess either

No pressure tags @monsterrae1 @dr-shortsighted-owl @thelikesofus @beyourownanchor6 @bekkachaos @buffaluff @thekristen999 @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @buddiediaz118 @eddiebabygirldiaz @sunflowerwemadeit @repressedqueen @caroandcats @theotherbuckley @bi-buckrights @lonelychicago @stagefoureddiediaz @inell @hippolotamus @rogerzsteven @diazsdimples and anyone else who wants to share I just tagged people I think might like a demon!au lmk if you want to be added for this one or not tagged at all 💜

[bekkachaos]

Make me write

💞💞💞💞💞💞

💞 the soulmate au

in which you cannot lie to your soulmate, and Eddie doesn't want to know who his soulmate is, he never has. He doesn't want some cosmic force dictating his life, and who he loves. Mostly he's just scared that if he finds his soulmate, he'll lose them.

Buck looked up at Eddie with his mouth in a straight line and his blue eyes piercing through him in a way that had Eddie's breath caught in his throat.

"Lie to me."

He said the words so easily, like there wasn't a world of meaning under them, like they said all the other things laying silent behind them.

Eddie just stared back at him, jaw set. He swallowed the lump in his throat and took in a sharp breath through his flared nostrils.

"No."

It came out softer than he intended it to, but even that was enough for the hurt to reach Buck's eyes and force a quiver in his lip.

pick a wip, and make me write!

[dangerpronebuddie]

📋📋📋📋📋📋📋

Some clipboard Buck for you! (And a lot of Eddie feels)

Frank tried once, sometime last year when Eddie was complaining about Pepa's blind dates, to get Eddie to explain why dating felt like a performance. Eddie's answer, much to Frank's frustration (he still can't believe he made Frank's eye twitch) was isn't it like that for everyone though?  Frank had sighed and asked Eddie to elaborate on what he meant by a performance. Even Eddie had to admit his answer was worth unpacking- not that they did, Eddie shut it down after that. He still remembers his answer, every word of it. I have to pretend to be someone I'm not.  But doesn't everyone put on a show for a first date? According to Frank, no.  But it's fine, it's whatever, it's not like Eddie wants to date so soon after Marisol anyway. He doesn't know any women he'd want to consider. So, he shoved his dating woes into yet another box- he doesn't even know which one.  Taking everything out of each box just to find it would likely dismantle him again, explosion or not. He’s not sure he wants to pick through the debris of the inevitable collapse.  It’s safer to just let things be. Isn’t it?

Make Me Write!

[daffi-990]

Tagged by @hippolotamus & @dangerpronebuddie

Rules: You will be given a word. share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

My words were WATER and THUNDER.

W - When their parents finally retired for the night, Daniel grabbed the packs they had prepared earlier and hidden under their beds, while Maddie gently scooped up her baby brother. (Fantasy AU)

A - As punishment, Eddie’s men were killed in front of him and Eddie himself banished, under pain of death. (secret fantasy wip .. yes it is different to my other fantasy au.)

T - The moment is interrupted by the sound of the window slowly winding down, Chris poking his head out with a very unamused expression on his face. “Are you guys done kissing or do I have to get a taxi home?” (Eddie breakdown fic)

E - Eddie wakes with a pained groan and immediately wants to dive back into unconsciousness. (Rivals sequel)

R - Red from Eddie’s blood (Rivals sequel)

and

T - Then he’ll break and contemplate packing his bags and running away to start his life over. Again. (wip from Daylight series)

H - He’d returned home to collect his family, his wife and son, only to find his home destroyed, and his wife murdered. (secret fantasy au)

U - “Usually it takes me a bit longer to get all the lyrics together, but uh, I guess the wound was so fresh that the words just seeped out of it.” (wip from Daylight series)

N - Nothing he learns about Eddie will scare him away. (Eddie breakdown fic)

D - Despite his better judgment screaming at him to be cautious, Buck's curiosity and something about Eddie’s presence radiating a strange sense of security that Buck can't quite explain, pushes him to take a leap of faith. (Fantasy AU)

E - Eventually exhaustion comes and Buck falls into the dark abyss of sleep, sending out one final prayer that this please all just be a nightmare. (Rivals sequel)

R - Remembers how he and Hen (and Chim later on when Bobby trusted enough to let another person into his world) would take turns sitting with Bobby at his apartment on his bad days or driving him to AA meetings so he knew he wasn’t alone in the battle, they had his back. (Eddie breakdown fic)

No pressure tagging: @diazsdimples @diazheartsbuckley @spotsandsocks @steadfastsaturnsrings @sibylsleaves @spagheddiediaz @queerdiazs @queerweewoo @wildlife4life @wellcollapse @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @lover-of-mine @lonelychicago @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @rainbow-nerdss @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @tizniz @bekkachaos @beyourownanchor6 @kitteneddiediaz @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @devirnis @honestlydarkprincess @smilingbuckley @but cker @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley and anyone else who wants to play 😊

Oh and your word is SPACE.

[exhuastedpigeon]

Lemme help with those Hockey AUs...

👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽👨🏽

🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒

Kenna I knew I could count on you.

39 for 👨🏽(ps this fic was inspired by your manip of hockey player Eddie with a moustache)

Where Buck’s mustache is still pretty light, Eddie’s is dark and lush and honestly, Buck wants to put his mouth on it. 

Which is not the way he’s supposed to think about his teammate. 

Even if that teammate is also Buck’s secret husband. Emphasis on the secret part. While they were out to the team and their family and friends, they weren’t out publicly at the advice of their agent and the Kings front office. 

But Buck might accidentally out them this November if he didn’t get himself under control. It was just, Eddie looked kind of insanely hot with a mustache. This wasn't the first November he’d known Eddie, in fact this wasn’t even the first November where he’d been in a relationship with Eddie. It was just, this November something seemed different. 

“Why are you staring at me,” Eddie asked with a laugh on November 5th. His mustache was already looking thick and sexy, unlike Buck’s which was still a little patchy and definitely too blond to look good right now. 

“I like the mustache,” Buck said with a shrug, trying (and failing) to sound casual about it. 

“Oh, you do?” Eddie stopped buttoning his shirt so he could turn around and look at Buck directly instead of in the mirror. 

“Y-yeah,” Buck couldn’t take his eyes off of it and here in the safety of their bedroom he was allowed to look, so why should he stop. 

“If you managed to keep out of the box tonight, I’ll let you do whatever you want to my mustache.”

“Whatever I want?”

“Well, within reason,” Eddie laughed. “We have to get on a plane and fly to Boston tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, I can stay out of the box,” Buck said confidently, even though there was a very good chance he was lying. It wasn’t his fault they were playing the Ducks. Everyone knew the Ducks sucked, that was just a fact of life. The sky is blue. Eddie Diaz is the love of Evan Buckley’s life. The Ducks stopped being cool in 2006 when they changed their name from the Mighty Ducks to just the Ducks. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Eddie laughed and pressed a kiss to Buck’s mouth. Buck had expected the mustache to tickle, but he found he actually liked the feeling of it against his skin. Oh god, did he have a mustache kink that had somehow only now unlocked in him?

(He didn’t manage to stay out of the box, but Eddie let it slide because Buck had only gotten thrown in the box after he’d dropped gloves with Jonah Greenway after he ran Chimney in the crease.) 

–

“Someone on Twitter called Eddie’s mustache the gayest thing they’ve ever seen in the NHL and, this is a direct quote, that’s impressive because hockey is the most homoerotic sport to ever exist,” Chimney said on November 13th. They were on the world’s shortest flight from Long Island to Philly and Chimney was entertaining them by reading funny tweets about the team. 

“Everything I do is gay,” Eddie said without opening his eyes. He’d played over thirty-five minutes in their game the night before after Millsy had blocked a shot with his face, so Eddie was so exhausted that Buck could feel it radiating off of him. 

It wasn’t like Buck hadn’t played an extra few minutes last night too, but Eddie was a left handed defenceman and so was Millsy, so Eddie had done a lot of double shifting. It had paid off, they’d won the game by one goal. 

“Is your mustache this season extra glorious and sexy this year because you’re fully embracing your gay-ness?” Chimney asked and coming from anyone else Buck knew Eddie would have been a little annoyed, but Chimney was - well he was Chimney. He was always in their corner even when he was pissed at them. 

“Probably,” Eddie smiled, eyes still closed. “Maybe I’ll dress up as Freddie Mercury and post a picture saying we have more than just a mustache in common.”

Buck’s brain short circuited for a second at the mental image of Eddie dressed up like Freddie Mercury, but he was thankfully pulled from that thought before it got not safe for work when Chimney spoke again.

and 39 for 🏒 under the cut

They’re tied 1-1 in the third period against the Ducks when Buck lays a hit on Smith along the boards in the natural zone, knocking him off the puck long enough for Eddie and his fucking beautiful hands to gain possession. Buck grins at Smith as he pushes off of him and follows behind his defense partner, entering the zone two seconds after him. Buck back checks the Duck’s defender that’s coming up behind him to keep him away from the puck and give Eddie another second to put the puck on net. 

And here’s the thing, Buck knows their team is good - they’re the second best team in the western conference right now. It’s like Eddie was the missing piece they’d needed to really take them up to the next level, but in the middle of a game he isn’t thinking about that. All he’s thinking about is that he needs to give the guys the best chance they have to score. Eddie sends the puck back to Mateo and screens the goalie as Mateo passes the puck to Buck at the point to reset the play. 

It’s like it happens in slow motion - Buck takes a shot from the point, not because he thinks he’s going to score, but because he wants to get the puck to the net so they can try to score on the rebound. Except the rebound doesn’t come. Instead, Eddie tips Buck’s shot, redirecting it over Gibson’s shoulder on his stick side, sending the puck into the back of the net.

The ref signals that it’s a goal and before the horn can sound, Eddie is on him, practically tackling him to the ice in celebration. Buck wraps his arms around Eddie on instinct, holding him close as TK, Paul, and Mateo crash into them.

"You're a fucking beauty, Buckley," Eddie says, his mouth pressed against Buck neck in a hug.

They manage to hold onto the lead and when Chim insists on taking everyone out for a drink after because they held onto the lead and didn’t let their defensive play slip even when they were winning. Buck says yes without second thought. He’s expecting most of the younger guys to come out with them, the ones without wives and girlfriends at home. The ones without kids waiting for them. 

He’s expecting Eddie to say he needs to get home to Chris. He isn’t expecting Eddie to say, “I’m in.”

“Is Carla staying late?” Buck asks quietly as they change after cooling down and showering. 

“Shannon’s got him tonight,” Eddie says just as quietly. Buck’s pretty sure the only other person who knows about Eddie’s complicated relationship with his ex is Coach, for some reason being in on that secret, to have earned that kind of confidence from Eddie, makes Buck warm all over. 

“Well then it’s dad’s night out, huh?” Buck grins and slings an arm around Eddie’s shoulders even though they both smell fucking rank and they should really hit the showers. 

“There aren’t many nights where we win, we don’t have a game for five whole days, and I don’t have to rush home to relieve the babysitter,” Eddie grins right back. “Let’s go get fucking hammered, Buck.”

They’re in the locker room surrounded by their teammates. There’s at least two reporters in the room with them right now. Buck can see Ravi has his phone out and is probably live on Instagram. None of it matters, not with the way Eddie’s smiling at him. Not with the way Eddie pulls Buck into his orbit and keeps him there whenever he’s in the room. 

“I-I think everyone is going to get hammered,” Buck says, eyes on Eddie’s mouth because he can’t seem to stop himself. 

“Yeah, but I’ll be doing it with you,” Eddie says and then he ducks out from under Buck’s arm with a laugh. “Come on, we gotta shower. I bet you smell worse than Sid’s lucky jock.”

make me write

[diazsdimples]

Do you have any buddie fic recs that is a /must/ read for Buddie shippers ( sorry I don't ship Bucktommy 🥹)

Boy do I ever!!!

honey, when you call my name - @hippolotamus (Explicit)

"Eddie witnesses the Buck/Lucy kiss, has himself a little panic, and decides to do something about it when Buck does his Buck thing and won't stop pushing Eddie's buttons" It's spicy, it's sweet, it's packed full of feels and there was not a dry eye in the house!!

Whatever may come (your heart I will choose) - @hippolotamus (Mature)

"The Story of Eddie and Christopher Diaz" The number of times I yelled at Hippo while reading this,,,, it is incredible!! 30 chapters of Buckley-Diaz family feels, Eddie's heartbreaking backstory and FUCK if I could read it for the first time again, I would!

James Bond AU Series - @princessfbi (Teen & Explicit)

James Bond AU with 007 Agent Eddie Diaz and Buck as Q. Incredible. No notes. Read them back to back in one sitting, and then read them again immediately after. No prior knowledge of James Bond needed (cause I sure didn't have any) but be prepared to have the sudden urge to go watch all the films.

Kink Club AU Series - @princessfbi (Explicit)

"Canon compliant one shots where Eddie works at a Kink Club as a side hustle and meets Buck there before his first shift in 2x01." This series is insanely good. 5 perfect fics of the boys and BDSM, it is incredibly hot, full of feels and just.... yeah. Incredible. Please do read the tags before each fic though, especially if BDSM isn't your thing.

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive - @neverevan (Explicit)

"During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him." I was literally on the edge of my seat with every single chapter release. It's SO angsty and delicious and absolutely incredible, and I think also very feasible for what could happen in canon should Timothy ever decide to be as mean (affectionate) as Newbie was by putting the boys through this.

Out Of Order, Still In Line - @neverevan (Explicit)

"When Buck finally gets to the Clinic, the long awaited release doesn’t seem to come; cue Eddie to the rescue." One of the first Buddie fics I read and it altered my brain chemistry a little. Lord have mercy. It's just ... you gotta read it. Like, Jesus 🥵

My Blood on Your Skin (My Rose on Your Snow) - @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Explicit)

"When Eddie needs cash and fast to take care of Christopher, his LAFD Academy buddy suggests a job as a bouncer at Elysium - an exclusive sex club in downtown Los Angeles. Eddie doesn't care what goes on there, so long as he's paid, but he finds he cares a lot bout the club's enigmatic owner, Evan Buckley, and it's not long before the two of them are violating every boss-employee rule in the book. But there's something different about Buck and the club, something not quite... human. If Eddie wants to keep Buck, he's going to have to delve into the world of immortals, and all the risks that implies." Honestly I think the blurb says it all. I read this at my cousin's wedding (literally just before the ceremony and during the reception fsdkjdfs) because I literally couldn't put it down. Incredible Greek Gods integration and so. fucking. hot. Sorry Caleb, I hope your matrimony is holy but this was so worth it.

stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong - @daffi-990 (Unrated at present)

"Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?" This AU has been eating me alive with snippets for the last few months and the chapters are FINALLY being published!! Stay tuned for weekly updates about our idiots being - well - idiots. Daffi has written them so well and I don't think I could yell louder about this one if I wanted.

Cow Eyes - @theotherbuckley (General)

"'Eddie's in hospital and Buck tries not to break down' fic except its actually just a cute silly little fic" Exactly what is says on the tin. Cute, silly, fluffy and entirely adorable. High!Eddie is fucking hilarious and Worried!Buck has my whole ass heart. Love this fic, have read it many times, will read many times more

Both Blade and Branch - @cal-daisies-and-briars (Mature)

"The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back." Orpheus and Eurydice vibes but somehow more heartbreaking because it's the Boys? Literally every chapter I was gobsmacked and the fact that I couldn't read it in one sitting due to Life™️ was frankly criminal.

what humans do - @gayhoediaz

""…and the thought that she had just escaped death by such a narrow margin made me realize the intensity of my feelings toward her.” Eddie swallows. “‘What’s the matter?’ I couldn’t tell her, so I kissed her instead,” Buck goes on, and since Eddie’s eyes are focused on the page, they drift ahead a little bit, and the next few lines have him swallowing once again, taking his hand back to brace himself against the mattress as he slowly starts to push himself up to sit. “Kissing is what humans do when words have reached a place they can’t escape from. It is a switch to another language. The kiss was an act of defiance, maybe of war. You can’t touch us, is what the kiss said. ‘I love you,’ I told her, and as I smelled her skin, I knew I had never wanted anyone or anything more than I wanted her…” Buck trails off when Eddie reaches for the book, gently luring it out of his grasp. " One of the best getting together fics I've read. So sweet, so hot, full of feels, and also just very 🤯 in many places. Just insanely well written and perfect imagery.

Also I have a small list of authors whom I love dearly:

@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @wildlife4life @thewolvesof1998 @thekristen999

@steadfastsaturnsrings @watchyourbuck @fortheloveofbuddie @rainbow-nerdss @bidisasterevankinard

@aroeddiediaz @jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway @kitteneddiediaz

@actuallyitsellie @dangerpronebuddie @loserdiaz @elvensorceress @underwaterninja13

@smilingbuckley

Literally anything these wonderful people (and the authors of the above fics) have written is well worth a read. I would rec all of their words and make individual recs for all their fics but I fear I simply do not have the words.

I might also humbly suggest some of my fics, which you can find here! Happy reading!!!

[elvensorceress]

idk I get incredibly angry at homophobes being cast on my gay shows. anybody want the start of my fic where Eddie dumps her bigoted ass and then has a gay ole sexy time with his husband and his husband's new boyfriend? because here. you can have. it's cathartic 💕

test drive - 2K, BuckTommy, BuckEddieTommy, Buddie endgame forever / Explicit

The restaurant is dimly lit in a way that might be classy and romantic, but Tommy’s hand is also on Buck’s thigh. And he’s having a lot of very not-classy, not even very romantic sorts of thoughts. Everything is far more along the lines of, he could put his hand on my dick, and I know what his cock feels like down my throat, and why are we here in a public place when we could be back at my loft taking turns fucking each other until we’re both a mess of cum and lube and sweat and sexy bruises and love bites? Because all of that is way more appealing than what they are sitting here, waiting to do. 

If it were just one of their dates, it’d be great. Those are fantastic. Tommy likes to pick him up and take him to nice places and he smiles in a really, really soft cute way that also has an air of, I am going to fuck you until you scream and you will love every second. And holy fucking god, does Buck love every second. 

Bisexuality, man. Who knew? 

It’s so fantastic. It’s so different? Or maybe it’s just that Tommy is different because he’s ridiculously cool and hot and Buck always really liked when someone knew what they wanted and would take the lead and he could do everything in his power to please them and make them feel good. Confidence is infinitely sexy and competence even more so. And Tommy has all of that in spades. 

And Buck loves men. Buck really loves men. It makes so much sense and how had he never even considered? Maybe he considered but he sure as hell never realized wanting a man and being attracted to a man was something that fit so well. Fuck, it fits so well. 

Maybe he could even end up with a man someday? Maybe he could marry a man and have a relationship that is like this all the time for the rest of his life? Not that he doesn’t like women still. Women are great. People who don’t identify as either or they identify as both or however they choose— they’re great, too. 

Everyone is hot and Evan Buckley is very bisexual, and it just might be one of the greatest revelations he’s ever had. 

He’s just really, really enjoying being with a man right now. 

He is not, however, enjoying the thought of this dinner. Everything about this dinner makes his stomach a washing machine of anxiety. For no reason. He doesn’t know why. There’s nothing wrong with it. 

Why wouldn’t he and his boyfriend go on a double date with his best friend who is their mutual friend, and his best friend’s girlfriend. What is wrong with that? It’s fine. Should be— fun? 

Shouldn’t be a bad taste in his mouth that the wine still hasn’t gotten rid of and roiling in his stomach that is really killing his appetite. But it very much is. 

Tommy squeezes Buck’s thigh and rubs it in a way that surely is supposed to be comforting. But it makes Buck want to drag him out of this restaurant and back to the loft where he can show Tommy how good he is at fucking him now. Not just because it would be a thousand times better than the prospect of this dinner. The bar is so low on the ground, it’s buried at this point. But also because sex with his new boyfriend is better than— actually, Buck is having a hard time thinking of anything that is better right now. 

Very hard time. 

They’ve been practicing. Everything. Blowjobs, fucking, fingering, ball massages, prostate milking, rimming— all sorts of really fun things Buck never even imagined could feel so good. Not that he was oblivious to a lot of it. He has toys. His ex was into pegging. Buck might have been unaware of how intense and gay— well, bi. He’s bi now. Buck is bi now. Probably always was but he knows it now. He’s bisexual.— his attraction to men could be. But he was not unaware of sexual acts that feel good to his body. 

But it’s totally different with a real man and a real cock and being manhandled by someone who might actually be bigger and stronger than you is really fucking hot. 

He checks his watch again and it’s already 7:28. They’re almost half an hour late. Which is so not like Eddie. He’s not sure if Marisol is like that but he knows for sure Eddie is either fifteen minutes early for everything or he texts if there is a problem. Even then, he’s only ever a few minutes late. If that. And last Buck checked, there were no new messages on his phone. 

He checks again, and still nothing. Not even to Buck’s message of, hey u ok? u on the way? He frowns and sets his phone back on the table and turns to Tommy. “How long before I’m allowed to be really worried?”

Tommy gives him an amused smile. “You can be worried.”

“How long before we need to bother Athena? Ten more minutes? Five? Sh-should I bother Athena now?”

Tommy’s eyebrows scrunch and he looks at Buck like he’s crazy. Okay, it’s probably crazy. Just. He’s worried? That must be the churning in his stomach. “I’m sure Eddie’s fine. It hasn’t been that long. And he’s Eddie.”

Yeah. Yeah, he’s Eddie. But Eddie was also shot downtown in the middle of broad daylight and nearly bled out all over, and there’s not much anyone can do even if they are trained in hand to hand combat and self-defense and those kinds of things. Not many ways to defend against a sniper round that shouldn’t even be a thing. 

Not that Buck is thinking about that. Ever. 

He’s just turning into a washing machine over this dinner. That’s all. 

Five minutes later, some of it finally eases when Eddie finally shows up and sits down across from them. Alone. 

Alone?

“Sorry, guys,” Eddie runs a hand through his hair and breathes like he’s run a hundred miles. He’s hardly been looking distressed at all lately. He’s been glowing smiles and pretty laughs. Not pretty. Nice? Good? Good that he’s so much happier and at peace. 

But he’s not that now. 

“I would’ve—” Eddie checks his own watch, one that was a Christmas present that Buck had engraved with, all the time you need, and must realize how late he actually is. “Fuck. Sorry. Really sorry. I’ll buy? Unless you’ve already eaten and paid and are about to leave.” 

Tommy shakes his head and has that nice smile that’s so reassuring. “We haven’t. Don’t worry about it.”

“We were waiting,” Buck adds and itches to ask him what’s wrong, why he’s late, why he looks— like he isn’t okay. 

“Great.” Eddie nods tersely and it sounds anything but great. “They got anything stronger than wine and cocktails here? Because—” He doesn’t say. But he does make a face the conveys everything. 

“Doubt it,” Tommy says. “But we can get something somewhere else. Is Mar— Mari?”

“Marisol,” Buck supplies. Not that it matters. Not that he cares. Is he supposed to care? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s fine. 

“Right,” Tommy says, which should say everything. Eddie’s been hanging out with Tommy for months, Buck’s been with Tommy for months, and Tommy is pretty damn good at remembering people’s names. “Marisol. Is she still on the way?”

Eddie’s jaw gets very tight. “No. We’re done.” 

Tommy looks at Buck and Buck looks at Tommy. They’re done? They broke up? Not that it’s particularly surprising. Part of the curse of dating someone you met on a call. Gotta be. Also the whole thing where Eddie has some kind of commitment issues or something because as soon as he gets a girlfriend, he has to spend all his time doing anything besides being with said girlfriend.

“So, drinking?” Tommy says. 

Buck pushes his wine glass across the table. They usually share when they eat together. Drinks, food, anything. And he’s happy to offer it to the cause. 

“Yes, drinking.” Eddie takes Buck’s wine and downs all of it. 

Eddie’s single again. Marisol isn’t coming to dinner and she’s not part of their lives any longer. Not that Buck has a problem with her. She’s fine. She was nothing really. That wasn’t going to last. Eddie likes the idea of being with someone. So he says. He’s allergic to actually having a relationship for some reason. 

The washing machine in Buck’s stomach disappears though. Which is so much better. Now, it’s just Buck hanging out with his best friend and his boyfriend. 

Maybe there’s a little washing machine. It’s nothing though. 

They order food and drinks, and Eddie only goes through a couple shots and three glasses of wine and one beer. But he eats and also drinks water and doesn’t seem inebriated at all. So, they focus on the meal and Tommy’s latest work stories of helicopter rescues. 

It’s not until after Buck discreetly hands their waiter his credit card before they’re actually brought the bill, that Eddie actually starts talking.

“I kind of fucked up. Didn’t mean to. I owe you an apology,” he says and looks at Buck with worlds of regret and sorrow. 

Whatever it is, Buck forgives him. He’s sure he’s done far worse than whatever it is. “Why? What, uh, what happened?”

Eddie doesn’t look at him. Or Tommy. He does shake his head but not like he’s saying no. More like he’s disgusted. “I let it slip that you two are— that you’re. Dating. Together. Boyfriends? Do you call each other that? Are you boyf— never mind, I let it slip. I’m sorry. That was my bad. Not my secret to tell.”

Tommy looks scrunched and confused again and Buck— he doesn’t understand what the problem is? No, he hasn’t told many people yet. But it’s not a secret that he and Tommy are together. 

“Eds,” Buck says and immediately thinks he probably shouldn’t have called him that. He doesn’t know why. But he shouldn’t. “It’s fine. I’m not— It’s not a secret. I’m not hiding. Or— or in the closet? I’m out. Now. I’m bi and—” And he’s really happy about that. He really loves it. He’s bisexual. He loves women and men and whoever regardless of gender. And holy shit, does he love men right now. He really, really loves being with a man. He looks to his side and grins brightly at Tommy. “And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed that Tommy and I are together.”

There’s a cute half smile that curves the side of Tommy’s mouth and Buck so wants to kiss him. And do all sorts of other things with him. 

“Well. Good.” Eddie taps his finger on an empty shot glass like he’s contemplating ordering another. “Still. Didn’t go well. Didn’t mean to out you like that.”

“Didn’t go well?” Tommy asks. “Saying that Evan and I are dating didn’t go well?”

Eddie purses his lips and does a slow, exaggerated shake of his head. “Nope. But at least I learned that now. Has the waiter brought our check yet? Because I’m just going to drink more if I don’t head out soon. Not that I’m sad about her or anything. I’m pissed. You think you know someone, and no. No, she’s a raging homophobe.”

She— oh. Oh, that’s what happened. “She broke up with you because we’re gay? Bi and gay? Or— you know what I mean.” Is Tommy gay? Or bi? Or something else? Buck hasn’t actually asked what label he uses. How he qualifies his sexuality. He felt weird asking. It’s so personal. Is he supposed to ask? All he knows is that Tommy was into him. Tommy kissed him and it was breathtaking, incredible, magnificent and changed Buck’s whole life. He didn’t really think anything beyond that. Couldn’t really think beyond that. 

Eddie definitively points at himself and then at phantom nothingness. “I dumped her. Because I said this was a double date with you guys and she said, well not really, and I said, no really. It’s a double date. Her and me and both of you. Double date. Except not her. Ever. Anymore. Because she had to go off about how it was wrong and made her uncomfortable and I ‘let both of you be alone with Christopher?’ And it couldn’t possibly be a date like me and her would go on a date because she’s a woman and I’m a man and that was normal. But you two are both men. Both muscular, powerful, masculine, manly firemen type men— so it could never be the same especially because neither one of you are flamey or girly or whatever, so it could never work, the two of you since neither one of you is ‘The Girl.’ Which is all bullshit. By the way. Obviously. And,” he finally stops and breathes, and there’s a hard swallow in his throat and his eyes are distant and his whole body is strung tight and if he could breathe fire? He probably would. Holy shit, he’s pissed off. Buck isn’t even sure he’s ever seen Eddie this angry at anyone who hasn’t hurt someone he loves. 

Although. Technically she did? Not hurt per se, Buck doesn’t give a shit about what she thinks of him. But she was insulting them. So. Yeah, okay, of course fiercely protective Eddie would be angry. 

“And anyway,” Eddie says, still never quite looking at Buck or even at Tommy. Never quite focusing on them. “That’s how I’m single and back on the market again.” He smiles a wide, bitter, snarky kind of smile, and steals the half-full beer glass in front of Buck and downs it in one gulp. 

(Read on AO3)

[loveyouanyway]

🌊 fuck it friday!

tagged by @tizniz @firefighterevandiaz @bidisasterevankinard @loserdiaz

@inell @dangerpronebuddie @evanbi-ckley 💙

"I was at the pier when the tsunami hit. And there was this kid by himself so I tried to protect him. God, he's awesome. He was actually the one reassuring me and trying to make me laugh. We talked about dinosaurs and played eye spy... But then I lost him and I'll never forgive myself for that."

Fuck. It is him—Buck. It warms his heart that he didn't mention Christopher's cerebral palsy at all and focused on his personality. He's overheard how people call his son "the kid with CP" and it kind of makes him want to commit arson which is reasonable reaction if he says so himself.

"Wait are you Buck?"

"Yeah. What— how do you know?"

Eddie exhales. "That was my kid. Christopher."

"Fuck. I'm so sorry. God, I'm sorry."

"You saved him. That's how he remembers it."

"Eddie," Buck says in a broken voice and Eddie just wants to take all his pain way.

"And from what I heard, you didn't just save him. You saved others. You did good, Buck. You're so good. Thank you."

He hears Buck make a choked up noise.

A minute later Buck speaks up. "Could I— Never mind."

"Hey, no. What is it?" he asks softly.

"You can say no but I was wondering if you would be okay with me seeing him. You can say no," he repeats.

Eddie smiles. "Yes, yes. He would love that. I would love that. He's actually been asking me about you. My neighbour is actually a firefighter. Maybe you know him? Chimney– or well, Howie Han? Christopher wanted to ask him to figure out what station you're at so we could visit."

npt 💞 @moonsharky @steadfastsaturnsrings @hippolotamus @wikiangela

@monsterrae1 @bigfootsmom @underwaterninja13 @spotsandsocks @queerdiaz

@exhuastedpigeon @theotherbuckley @elvensorceress @watchyourbuck

@kitteneddiediaz @bi-buckrights @rainbow-nerdss @neverevan and anyone else who wants to share!!

[lonelychicago]

seven sentence sunday!

tagged by the lovelies @devirnis @bidisasterbuckdiaz @daffi-990 @bekkachaos @wikiangela

“I just feel we don't hang out as much as we used to.” Eddie murmurs quietly. So quiet Buck almost misses it. “You're always with Tommy, which is— good. You deserve to be happy. And if he makes you happy, then that's… good. It's good.”

Buck wants to argue and say he doesn’t go on dates with Tommy. He did, twice. And then that ended and now sometimes they hang out and Tommy gives him flying lessons or invites him for a drink— most of the time they fuck in Buck’s apartment and then watch whatever's on Netflix and drink beer. Not exactly romantic..

Eddie probably doesn't want to hear any of that, though, and Buck isn't sure how to begin to explain it. Why is it that he doesn't go on dates with Tommy? Why doesn't he want to go on dates with this perfectly fine and nice man that seems like a good match for Buck on paper.

Yeah, that's a Pandora Box Buck isn’t particularly keen on opening over the phone at two in the morning with Eddie drunk on the other line.

“Okay?”

“But I miss you. Miss spending time with just you.”

“I thought you liked Tommy.”

“It's not that I don't like him, it's just—”

“Okay, stop.” Buck snaps and then immediately softens his voice. “Tell me where you are so we can have this conversation in person.”

Eddie mutters something unintelligible under his breath.

“What was that?”

Eddie sighs and Buck can picture it so well, as good as if Eddie were right in front of him and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration and embarrassment. “I'm at The Sanctuary.”

Buck literally hears a disco scratch in his head. “Y-you're at a gay bar?”

tagging (no pressure): @underwater-ninja-13 @father-salmon @spotsandsocks @the-likesofus @eddiebabygirldiaz @exhuastedpigeon @excuseme-greentea @giddyupbuck @bigfootsmom @bi-buckrights @hippolotamus @spaceprincessem @rogerzsteven @saybiwithme @thewolvesof1998 @maygrantgf @loveyouanyway @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @athenagranted @wikiangela @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 @actualalligator and anyone else who wants to do it <33

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

wip wednesday

tagged by @spotsandsocks

muah darlin!

why yes i am sharing more of my big bang fic, sorry if you're sick of hearing about it <3

“About time you came closer,” Buck says, his stirring not even pausing for a moment.

“You knew I was here?”

“Yeah, Eddie. You’re a mouth breather. Very loud. Especially in the morning.”

Eddie nips at Buck’s shoulder, biting into the soft fabric covering his skin and leaving behind a damp spot.

Buck chuckles and pops his elbow back to nudge Eddie in the ribs.

Eddie hums and breathes Buck in–flowers, vanilla, eucalyptus, sweat–and closes his eyes to take it in, his hips settling more firmly against Buck’s ass as he noses his way into Buck’s neck.

“You’re gonna over mix it,” Eddie murmurs a minute later without opening his eyes.

“The hell I am,” Buck replies indignantly. “I’m the pancake master not you, y’know. So you just shush and stand there and look pretty.”

“Can’t even see me,” Eddie says, amusement and affection bubbling up in the already too full cavity of his chest.

He swipes his hands over the slight bulge of Buck’s lower tummy, the tips of his fingers caressing Buck through the soft cotton and tapping out a rhythm that just might match the tempo of his heart which beats wildly but also steadily against Buck’s back. Buck pauses his stirring and briefly drops his head back onto Eddie’s shoulder. “Don’t have to. I’ve got you memorized by now.”

It’s not boasting or prideful. It’s not uttered with any type of smugness. It’s said genuinely, simply. A small fact of life. A little piece of Buck shared. An admission of how often he thinks of Eddie and how dedicated he is to knowing him.

tagging @spaceprincessem @shitouttabuck @dr-shortsighted-owl @queerdiazs @bigfootsmom @jeeyuns @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @lemonzestywrites @try-set-me-on-fire @sibylsleaves @mustachediaz @rewritetheending @freewayshark @honestlydarkprincess @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @buckera @transboybuckley @shyaudacity @lonelychicago @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @epicbuddieficrecs @watchyourbuck @colonoscopys and anyone else who wants to share!

[spotsandsocks]

Rules: You will be given a word. share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

@daffi-990 @hippolotamus @tizniz @dangerpronebuddie Thank you my dears, four words far too much to inflict on the world so ignoring thunder & lightning ! Far too many letter for a little spot! 😂😂😂

S - Surprisingly Eddie discovers that he hopes not, he’d like to talk to the guy first, before any regrettable brain melting happens. (Demon!eddie)

P- Perhaps a short walk might be called for, Green Gables isn’t far and a cup of tea with a friend is always a neighbourly way to spend a morning (Anne with e au)

A - A strong hand lands gently on his shoulder, it’s meant to be a comfort he can tell but he’s not used to being touched gently, so he flinches which increases the uneasy feeling of nerves. (Anne with e’)

C - Chim grins and rubs his hands together . “ you won’t regret it, this one will be easy, I can feel it.” (Highwayman au)

E - Eddie says the rest of the words that might save both Buckley’s but will reveal his presence. (Demon!eddie)

W - Water fills his vision, his mind, the smell, the taste, the roar of the water; it’s the sea he thinks and it’s is overwhelming, blocking out the reality of the station couch beneath him. (Powers au)

A - Also can you please look after Mr and Mrs Nash because they seem very kind and don’t look like they’d beat a person for forgetting or talking too much. (Anne with e)

T - The demon with his boot on Buck’s neck laughs thinking he’s the cause of the pain in his voice. (Demon!eddie)

E - Eddie’s smile widens, he neither confirms or denies her assumption that they’re married. (Only One bed)

R - Returning to the cove had been a foolish thing to do and unlikely to bring him any answers but he’d done it anyway. (Mer!buck)

Wont tag everyone because you might get overwhelmed with words but if you want to do this I give you the word

HEART

@inell @thekristen999 @bi-buckrights @eddiebabygirldiaz @thelikesofus @monsterrae1 @stagefoureddiediaz @diazsdimples @bekkachaos @exhuastedpigeon @repressedqueen

[honestlydarkprincess]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday!

tagged by the lovely @daffi-990, @wikiangela

instead of working on my existing wips i started a new one last night, so get ready for another drunk buck fic! hehe!

Buck stumbled forward suddenly, moving into Eddie’s space and Eddie had to grab him around his waist to keep him steady. Eddie’s heart felt like it was beating out of control. He was very aware that Natalia was watching them, an expression on her face that he couldn’t really decipher and didn’t spend too long trying. Buck was in his space, warm and alive and he was touching Eddie, his breath fanning across Eddie’s cheek. “Eddie,” Buck whined, pressing closer. “I wanna go home.”

“We are, sweetheart. Don’t worry,” Eddie soothed, the pet name slipping out unbidden. Shit. He was fucking it all up. Here he was, with his hands all over Buck and calling him pet names right in front of Buck’s girlfriend! God, he was a dick.

Clearing his throat, Eddie pushed Buck away as gently as he could, studiously ignoring the wounded sound Buck made. “Um, okay, let’s go. Uh, Natalia, do you want a ride?” He offered, trying to make it up to her. Like sorry I’m in love with your boyfriend, can I give you a ride home?

tagging: @bigfootsmom, @maygrantgf, @lovebuck, @princessfbi, @loserdiaz, @monsterrae1, @giddyupbuck, @father-salmon, @underwater-ninja-13, @devirnis, @spotsandsocks, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @hoodie-buck, @excuseme-greentea, @hippolotamus, @homerforsure, @spagheddiediaz, @sunshinediaz, @jeeyuns, @eddiiediaz, @eddie---diaz, @watchyourbuck, @exhuastedpigeon, @fortheloveofbuddie, @disasterbuckdiaz, @heartshapedvows, @theotherbuckley, @lover-of-mine, and @barbiediaz

[dangerpronebuddie]

*crackles knuckles* alright, let's do this

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

FINISH MY FIC

I'M TRYING

(also, you encouraged this hehe)

Two hundred pounds of Evan Buckley goes flying past the door. Something thuds loudly on the tile floor. Someone grunts in pain and there’s another loud thud.  Eddie yanks the IV from his arm with a wince and heaves himself out of bed, using the cot and nearby chairs for support as he walks on wobbly legs. He steps out of the room and leans against the doorframe to see the man punch Buck in the gut. Buck lets out a pained wheeze, the air, leaving his lungs. The man shoves Buck and he falls to the side. The man’s wild eyes focus on Eddie.  His heart jumps into his throat as the man runs at him. Eddie tries to jump back and stumbles, barely catching himself on the cart nearby. He cries out as the movement strains his injured arm.  The man charges again, undeterred, and grabs Eddie by his shirt, spinning and shoving him against the wall. Eddie’s head smacks the wall and tears blur his vision as his ears ring.  Buck, still gasping, lunges at the man, taking him back down to the floor. He pins his shoulders down, panting for breath. “Stay down!” Buck commands, his voice slowly coming back.  Eddie pushes off the wall and his head spins. He staggers to them, though how he plans to help, he doesn’t know. 

Make Me Write!

[daffi-990]

stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong

aka rival firefighters 🚒 | buddie | chapter 2/10 | Explicit

Eddie’s just finished helping load up the last patient into the 118’s ambulance, Wilson already in the front with the engine running and ready to go, and Han in the back, settling in beside their patient, when Buckley finds him again.

“Diaz! Are you a match? Because you ignite a fire within me.” Buck says, stupid cocky smile in place.

“Are you a smoke detector? Because you’re really loud and annoying.” Eddie shoots back, way too mentally worn out from triage to go another round with Buckley.

A loud laugh rips out of Wilson, echoing through the cabin while Han laughs so hard he almost chokes on his gum. Once Han’s recovered, he wipes his eyes, looking at Buckley and wheezing out, “Oh my god you can’t be serious?”

Eddie uses the question as his chance to slip away and make his way back to his own team. Only for Buckley to call out to him not even seconds later.

“Hey, Diaz!”

So close. He was so close.

He comes to a stop but doesn’t turn around, not wanting to give Buckley the satisfaction or whatever.

“I hate it when you go! But I love to watch you leave!”

Eddie shakes his head and can’t control the huff of a laugh that breaks free. This guy really is something else. Eddie doesn’t even bother with giving him the finger or retaliating, just continues walking until he’s back with the 136.

Read Chapter Two on AO3

[diazsdimples]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday

We sure are teasing this Tuesday! Continuing on with my Buddie Sauna Sex fic and accidentally wrote 2k of filth in an hour so that was fun! Please enjoy some of the beginning of the spicy.

Tagged by @smilingbuckley thank you!

Buck knees in front of Eddie and stares up at him, almost reverentially. It’s like he’s kneeling in front of an altar, baring his soul to a God and when he whisper’s Eddie’s name, it’s like a benediction. Eddie’s legs spread almost instinctively to accommodate Buck’s body between them, and Buck rests his cheek on Eddie’s thigh. “Can I – please, can I…?” Eddie’s throat clicks as he swallows hard and he nods, his hand moving to cup the back of Buck’s head, fingers scratching through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. Buck watches as Eddie’s eyes flutter closed when he presses a kiss against the soft skin of his inner thigh, and he allows a small smile to spread as he turns his head to nuzzle against the crease where Eddie’s leg meets his groin. He takes a deep breath, filling his nose with the heady, masculine smell of Eddie, and licks a long stripe from the base of Eddie’s balls, up the shaft of his cock, pausing only to press a kiss to the head. The sound that tears out of Eddie at that is one of the hottest things Buck has ever heard. He takes the whole of the head into his mouth, his tongue pressed flat to the underside, teasing at the frenulum. He sucks gently, his tongue swirling, and he feels Eddie shudder. His hips buck and his fingers tighten in Buck's hair, but he doesn't try and push him further down. Buck takes another deep breath through his nose, and relaxes his throat as best he can, moving down, down, down, until his nose presses into the dark, wiry hairs at the base. When he's adjusted to the size of Eddie’s cock, pausing in the perfect goldilocks zone where he can feel Eddie heavy against his tongue, taste him at the back of his throat, but still be able to breathe, he chances a look up, his eyes locking Eddie's. He looks wrecked already, pupils blown wide, and his lips are parted slightly as he pants. The heat from the sauna has him slick with sweat, making his chest and abs shiny, the hairs damp and all too inviting. "Jesus Christ, Buck."

No pressure tagging

@theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @watchyourbuck @neverevan

@bidisasterevankinard @babybibuck @aroeddiediaz @spotsandsocks @bibuckbuckgoose

@alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway

@cal-daisies-and-briars @exhuastedpigeon @epicbuddieficrecs @kitteneddiediaz @hermscat

@thekristen999 @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @actuallyitsellie @idealuk @dangerpronebuddie

@loserdiaz @elvensorceress @underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings

@thewolvesof1998 @spagheddiediaz

[elvensorceress]

not quite tuesday tidbit teases

it's probably tuesday somewhere and this just popped in my head and I wanted to share. what do you think? do we want more?

tagging if any of you want to share something 😘 @hippolotamus @eddiebabygirldiaz @messyhairdiaz @rainbow-nerdss @tizniz @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @monsterrae1 @diazsdimples @watchyourbuck @wh0re-behavi0r @911onabc @chaosandwolves @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @rogerzsteven @epicbuddieficrecs @bekkachaos @fiona-fififi @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @the-likesofus @hoodie-buck @lover-of-mine @mikereads @jesuiscenseedormir @lemonzestywrites 💕

It’s just after midnight and Buck is going to bed. 

He’s been saying this for a couple hours but YouTube had too many AItA videos and Instagram had those gorgeously edited food recipe posts and he doesn’t even want to talk about the doomscrolling of TikTok. But he had a day off and it was supposed to be with Tommy so they could take the weekend and go somewhere fun and romantic, but then Tommy had to work. Buck could’ve gone in with the rest of A shift. But it was nice to have some alone time for himself so he took time for himself. 

His phone goes off with a call five seconds after he’s gotten into bed. It’s a number he doesn’t know. So he could ignore it. Or wait until they’ve left a message. But who would call at this hour for no reason? Or for scamming, telemarketing reasons? 

So Buck answers. 

“Buckley?” The man on the other end says. He sounds vaguely familiar but not enough that Buck came put a name or face with a voice. 

“Uh, yeah? Who is this?” 

“Mehta. Captain Mehta. Of the 133.”

“Oh, hey,” Buck says, automatically friendly and smiling. That makes sense now. “What’s up? Why the— why are you calling?” Why would he call in the middle of the night?

Why does anyone call in the middle of the night.

“Buckley,” he says and it sounds… it sounds… it sounds like…

They have him now. They’ll take care of him. Why don’t we get you cleaned up. He’s in good hands. They’ll rush him to surgery. You don’t have to worry. Let’s get you cleaned up. 

Lets get you cleaned up.

Buck can’t breathe. His whole body is cold. Frozen. 

He tries to get out of bed. He tries, but just slides to the floor beside it. He doesn’t make it any further.

“Buckley, there was a helicopter crash. Your team, our team we went to rescue the pilot. Your, uh, sorry, I don’t know what you call him, but your boyfriend? Life partner? He—”

Oh god. No. No, that’s not. That’s not happening. That is not what is happening right now. This can’t be a, Tommy is dead and I’m letting you know. It can’t be that. It’s not. They were going to—

They were supposed to have a romantic trip together. Wine tasting and some kind of museum Tommy thought Buck would love and maybe a visit to a hot springs up north and they were going to watch the sunset and the sunrise and—

And he can’t be dead. He can’t be.

“He’s alive,” Mehta says. “We’re at Cedars-Sinai. He’s alive, but. It doesn’t look good. He’s in the ICU now. He’s critical.”

Buck pushes himself up. Has to. He has to be there. 

He barely remembers to thank Mehta or even end the call before he switches off his phone and runs out the door. 

~

The drive is a blur. The drive is probably very illegal and he doesn’t know how he doesn’t crash, but he doesn’t have time to wait for an Uber or for anyone else. He runs as fast as possible to the ER lobby, and almost runs directly into Chimney. 

Not almost. Buck crashes into him and almost knocks them both to the floor but that almost actually is an almost because Chim somehow steadies them both. 

He’s pale. Shaken up. His eyes are red. He’s been crying. 

“Chim,” Buck says as broken as he feels. “Chim, where— where is he? What happened? How did this happen? Please tell me he’s okay. He can’t be dying, right? That can’t be happening?”

Chim opens his mouth and grips Buck’s arms tighter, still trying to steady him. “Buck, we— we don’t know yet. It was bad, but he’s tough. You know that. He could be fine.”

Buck lets out a broken whimper and backs away from him. “No. He is fine. He’s fine and this isn’t happening. I just— Chim, I just found him. I can’t lose him already.” 

There’s a flash of something on Chimney’s face but there’s movement around Buck, too. Other people. Bobby, he’s pretty sure. And Hen. They would be here. They would try to comfort him. But they don’t need to because it’s fine. Everything is fine and this isn’t happening. 

It can’t be happening. 

He can’t be dying.

There’s more movement and it’s all blurry, probably filtered through tears, but then everything stops. The world stops. 

Tommy is right in front of him. Whole, alive, real, a little rumpled and there are bloody scratches and bandages on his face and around his arm. But he’s here. He’s fine.

Buck slams into him, throws his arms around him, and sobs as he clutches him. 

“Baby,” Tommy says softly as he hugs Buck tightly, cradling him, comforting him, and Buck can breathe. He’s not frozen. Everything is okay. They were all wrong. Buck knew they were wrong. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Tommy tells him and holds him tighter. 

Buck pulls back just to look at him. “No, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He takes a deep breath and smiles because Tommy is fine. He’s right here and everything is good. Buck touches Tommy’s battered face and caresses him gently. He’s bruised and also pale, and very soggy. It’s been stormy tonight. Another reason why Buck wasn’t all that eager to go out in it. “They told me—  fuck, they scared me. I thought— I thought I lost you. I was so scared. I don’t want to lose you. He told me—Mehta, Captain Mehta— he called and told me there was a helicopter crash and my boyfriend was in the ICU and he’s critical and it didn’t look good, and I can’t— god, I can’t. Tommy, I—”

Tommy’s face isn’t good. It’s pale. Bad. Not smiling. Not relieved. It falls and he can’t even hide the devastation on it. He looks like guilt and death, and his mouth moves but nothing comes out. “Evan,” he finally says, barely says. It’s too quiet, too broken. “Evan…”

No. No, Buck doesn’t like that. He doesn’t want to throw up right now. And he just might. His heart is rabbit speed lightning and his legs don’t exist anymore and there’s an awful blackhole of apocalyptic world-ending destruction swirling and growing in his stomach. 

Someone takes his arm. Someone needs his attention. He’s moved from Tommy’s arms because there is no safety or comfort anymore. There’s no relief. There’s no happily ever after, nothing will ever be okay. 

Buck knows why Mehta said what he said. He knows who isn’t here. He knows who would have come to him and immediately comforted him. 

He knows. 

He knows what this is now. It can’t be that. It can’t. Buck doesn’t know anything.

Hen tells him. She holds his arm and says calmly even if it’s broken. Everything is broken. They’re all broken. “Buck. It’s Eddie.”

No. No, it isn’t. It isn’t that either. Buck really can’t take that. It was bad enough, unimaginable enough the other way. It can’t be this. 

He’s already done this. They did this before. More than once. Forty plus feet of cruel earth and a whirling burst of metal and blood all over him. 

Eddie’s blood was all over him. 

“The helicopter went down and got stuck on the cliffs. He went in so he could pull Tommy out, and we got Tommy out,” Hen tells him, every word a knife stabbing through both of them. All of them. 

“He saved me,” Tommy says, quiet and full of regret. “He saved me and went down with it. They thought it was stable enough. It wasn’t. They got him out after. But…”

Buck collapses to his knees on the floor and holds his head in his own hands as if he can somehow hold himself together when there’s no holding himself together. 

It’s Eddie.

It’s Eddie it’s Eddie it’s Eddie. 

Buck shatters like flimsy glass and sobs in all the pieces that are ripped out of him. What about Chris? What about Abuela? What about Eddie’s parents and sisters and friends and everyone else who loves him?

What about Buck? They can’t be BuckandEddie without Eddie. 

“I need to see him,” Buck suddenly says to the closest person who will listen. “I need to be with him. Please. Please.”

There’s arguing that happens. Bobby yells at someone. Hen, Chim, and Tommy stay around him like a protective guard. Until someone finally agrees. He’s not in surgery, they can’t take him to surgery yet. He’s not stable enough. But he’s on a ventilator, life support. They warn him and Buck doesn’t care. He knows how bad these things can be. He’s lived through several. 

They give him five minutes. 

They’ll have to drag him out with an armed guard if they think Buck will agree to only that. But at least it’s something. 

It’s something. 

Eddie is mostly covered. Blankets, wires, tubes, IV lines, bandages. He’s paler than all of them. Slightly blue-purple, cyanotic. They tell him a few things but Buck can’t hear them. He just wants to be with Eddie. 

Buck sits beside him and rests a shaking hand over Eddie’s hand, under the blankets where it’s trying to be warm. Buck would give anything to keep him warm, and alive. 

Eddie needs to stay alive. He needs to. 

Buck rests his forehead on the side of the bed near their joined hands. He would say something if he had the capacity to form words and sentences. The only thing in his head right now is, don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.

And that’s probably all he can say. All that really matters. 

Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, please, don’t ever leave me.

(read now on AO3)