#but boy oh boy it's like watching the world's most unhinged train wreck

[iguessitsjustme]

Listen. Do I know it's a bad idea to go into the MDL comments? Yes. Do I do it anyway? Of course I do. I'm nosy. I want to see what disasters are happening in there.

[volturialice]

Hey G, what cdramas do you recommend? I'm in the middle of The Untamed right now and I'm interested in putting more cdramas on my watchlist.

oh boy, so ok lemme preface this by disclaiming: I haven't seen any of the (mlm) gay ones. my shipping preferences are exclusively het/femslash and that is reflected in my cdrama consumption! I also don't care for modern stuff, so it's period dramas and a lot of wuxia/xianxia (mostly xianxia, which is kind of my platonic ideal of a genre.) also it's a lot of yang mi dramas but that's a coincidence—she just takes roles in all the projects i'm interested in!

that said, I know the mlm shippy ones everyone else recs include Nirvana in Fire, Word of Honor, and Heaven Official's Blessing (idk if there's a live action version of this yet but there's definitely a novel/donghua.)

so with that out of the way, I'm gonna separate this into a) recent recs, b) classics and recent adaptations of classics, and b) other shows I've seen but did not Vibe with. note that I'm not including cws because there are just too many, but if you have questions about potentially triggering content in any of these, feel free to ask me for more info.

actual recs

1) Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms, aka Three Lives Three Worlds aka Eternal Love (I think that's the dumb genericized english title on netflix.) it’s extremely difficult to summarize this one due to its huge cast and elaborate plot but suffice to say: local immortal couple are so extremely star-crossed it takes them three lives to get it right and causes great collateral damage to international immortal politics.

fun fact: this is the single most watched tv show of all time. like, anywhere. possibly because it's so unhinged and eminently re-watchable. I think it's a great intro to the xianxia genre and I chalk its success up to the fact that it's fanfic trope overload. seriously, there are at least three "there was only one bed" scenes in this one show. I think the protagonists are fairly terrible people and yet I can't look away from their train wreck of a relationship.

luckily it's a huge ensemble cast so there are plenty of other characters for me to enjoy (bi4bi king and queen zilan and yanzhi supremacy give me their spinoff right now.) there are also Supporting Character Gays who could not be more obviously homosexual if they tried and it’s very fun.

there's also an actual spinoff I couldn't get into because I Simply Do Not Care about those characters but hey maybe you guys will

in conclusion, TMOPB is a good Xianxia Starter Pack because it includes a lot of common tropes. I learned a lot just by googling which things were specific inventions of the show vs which things were actual mythology! this show is so popular that basically every other xianxia made post-2017 is a clone of it (seriously, if they don't STOP with these stoic emotionless love interests i’m gonna hurl myself into a magical abyss.)

goofiest cgi character: the Four Beasts (no I’m still not over the sphincter-mouth.) honorable mention goes to yehua’s tiny offended snake form

2) Legend of Fuyao - sort of a rags-to-riches hero’s journey/jianghu story in which the heroine wanders through several different fantasy countries kicking ass and doing fun sidequests.

the first cdrama I ever watched (after seeing how epic the trailer looked) and still my favorite. notably the only time I have ever actually shipped the two leads. also notable in that the characters are more flawed and multidimensional than you'd typically see in a show like this—I particularly enjoy the concept of "fun Trickster King love interest but he's also kind of a pathological liar and that has actual consequences." has a rough start and drags in places but it's one of the most visually stunning shows on this list and has a fun ensemble cast, some of my favorite fight scenes, and a lot of good h/c moments.

goofiest cgi character: gotta hand it to yuanbao. if I had a nickel for every time the entire plot hinged on the actions of a single cgi guinea pig

3) Story of Yanxi Palace - a backstabby court intrigue period drama that imagines the rise of real historical figure Consort Ling, who rose from obscurity to great power in the court of the qianlong emperor.

the single most googled show of all time. notable for its gorgeous, elaborate costumes and general attention to detail in design. one of two on this list that's pure period drama, no fantasy (though it certainly takes liberties with actual history.) also probably the most ~”western”-style~ show on the list in terms of pacing and plot structure. it fits right in with prestige period shows like The Tudors or The Borgias, (albeit with far less graphic violence and sex scenes.) a pretty interesting heroine who, again, has actual flaws (still too much candy:spinach ratio, but I'll take what I can get here.) 

I'm just gonna say it: yingluo and empress fuca were super gay for each other. just let them stay home and lez

sadly devoid of goofy cgi characters

4) Princess Agents - another hero’s journey-style fantasy, this time about Becoming A Badass Spy. basically the cdrama Nikita. 

another of those ones everyone recs as a quintessential drama of the last decade. I actually haven't finished it, but the big chunk I've seen is solidly Good even if it's another stoic love interest I can't stand (the second lead is charming enough to make up for this.) has one of the sickest opening themes out there

and contains both princesses and agents but sadly none of them are the same people so I consider the title false advertising

goofiest cgi character: I s2g if that parrot doesn’t sHUT UP

5) The Wolf - girl meets boy raised by wolves. Tiny Horse scene is reenacted. they meet again as adults but he’s since become a war criminal so that complicates things :D

if you like angst and betrayal, this is the show for you. a Stoic Love Interest I actually don’t mind for once + a fun arranged marriage slowburn arc and a likable second lead (Untamed stans have ensured that you will see zero gifs of the two actual leads when you search for this show.) has the other sickest opening theme out there

goofiest cgi character: I mean, it’s right there in the title

6) Novoland: Pearl Eclipse - another fantasy about being trained as a badass secret agent, only this time involving mermaids and domestic abuse! hooray

watching this one right now and it’s interesting so far. I once again only care about the side characters but it’s possible that’s a Me Problem ([holding up zhuoying] I just think he’s neat!) has the single most unhinged opening scene I have ever experienced. I haven’t seen any of the other Novoland Cinematic Universe shows but I’ll probably look them up after this!

goofiest cgi character: the sharknado

7) The Eternal Love (and The Eternal Love 3) - not to be confused with Eternal Love sans-“The,” this show was made on a budget of ten and is so weird and silly. it gets so much mileage out of its simple bodyswap/time travel/fish out of water concept (which is also RIPE for fic AUs imo) that it was a runaway hit and they made two more seasons (which are basically...AUs of the first season? it makes sense in context.) I skipped season 2 but season 3′s “lol role reversal it’s a MATRIARCHY” concept was also really fun.

a few shows I haven’t seen but get recced all the time: Rise of Phoenixes, Story of Minglan, Novoland: Eagle Flag

some modern classics/adaptations of modern classics 

1) Princess Pearl, aka My Fair Princess/a bunch of other titles. a “Prince and the Pauper” -type story set during the rein of the qianlong emperor (but much lighter and fluffier than Yanxi Palace.)

made on a budget of half a shoestring (and it shows), this show was a crazy runaway hit that catapulted its unknown leads to megastardom so powerful that the government straight up erased zhao wei from the internet. 

maybe the real princess was the Gal Pals we made along the way

2) The Return of the Condor Heroes (2006) - another “orphan becomes a badass and experiences star-crossed love” jianghu story. this seems to be the most well-liked adaptation of its extremely popular novel afaik. I haven’t seen that much of it, but I can definitely see why it’s popular!

3) Handsome Siblings (netflix version) - two Very Opposite fraternal twins separated at birth are manipulated into becoming mortal enemies, and hijinks ensue. sort of a picaresque take on the jianghu with lots of comedic sidequests. also based on a super popular novel.

tbh I probably wouldn’t have gotten all the way through this one if I hadn’t been sick and couchbound when I watched it, but the third act is super fun! the non-netflix adaptations might be better, idk.

gotta love that title. the author said look at my OCs!! they’re a couple of real handsome boys!!!

shows I Do Not Vibe With no tea no shade they just aren’t for me

Ancient Love Poetry - I tried really hard because the cast looks fun but it’s just. a much more soulless clone of TMOPB with none of the fun Weird Shit or compelling characters.

The Flame's Daughter - this plot was so complicated I could not tell you the first thing about it. kids are getting switched at birth, everyone is double-cast as their own dead mom, and I don’t care enough about the characters to try to parse out their bizarre motivations (ok, fine, I admit I liked the side characters.)

Maiden Holmes - a fun “woman dresses as man in order to be a detective” premise but I simply didn’t care about the characters.

Miss the Dragon - maybe the later episodes are good, but I couldn’t get past the complete lack of story in the first few.

[spindaonateaspoon]

Yo there! Oh all those spindas in the background are making me dizzy haha (one of my fave pokemon actually, love them). Okay, sooo that's pretty random ask but what are your top ten black clover characters? :D

Ah, a tumblr user of taste, I see. Glad you could get past the vertigo to send me an ask, I really appreciate it! Next time you can save your eyes a little stress and ask my interest blog @thespiralgrimoire instead!

Top 10 Favorite Black Clover Characters

1. Nozel Silva

There are a lot of reasons I absolutely adore this unhinged bedazzled train wreck of a man. I thought my love for him couldn’t swell any bigger when I watched the anime, and then I started reading the manga, and he only gets better.

First and foremost, he’s pretty. In an extremely conventional way, but hey, it’s conventional for a reason. Even with his stupid hair, he’s just nice to look at. This is despite the fact that he literally never smiles, which is usually an important feature to appearances to me. But coming back to the braid thing, he KNOWS it’s stupid, and you know  he knows it’s stupid, because he literally threatens the lives of people who criticize it. The boy made a bad aesthetic decision once when he was like 19 and said, “Oh shit. If I don’t own this, I will never live this down. It’s time to do or die.” And he owned it. He is doomed to look this stupid for the rest of his life or face an endless assault of naysayers. His pride will not allow it.

Which brings me to the next thing I love about him: He’s such an arrogant twat. Everything about Nozel screams “I’m better than you, and if you disagree with me, I will throw myself on the floor and cry.” He will not allow anyone to even entertain the idea that he’s not perfect. Even himself. Even when it’s glaringly obvious that he’s a hot mess. During the star festival, when he hears that the black bulls came in second, He Mcfreakin loses it. He gets so mad that when he can’t make Yami feel ashamed for being himself, he literally STOMPS OUT OF THE FESTIVAL.  It’s chapter 104. Look it up. I’m not exaggerating.

Finally, I’m a slut for siblings, and the Silva Squad is an endless goldmine. That dynamic is what gets me through the day. I could live off sibling dynamics. Nebra and Solid worship the ground he walks on, and Noelle can’t help but look up to him, even if he’s been a huge douchenozzel to her her entire life. At this point it’s all conjecture for how that relationship will develop, but got damn, I’m in this for the long hall.

2. Fuegoleon Vermillion

Again, this man is so pretty. They really got their royal aesthetics right in this show. I am a simple person, with simple desires, and pretty men that I can make fun of is about all I need to be happy.

That being said, Fuegoleon is a nice guy. Despite having every reason to have the Higher Than Thou attitude that Nozel has, he’s respectful of everyone. This, charmingly, extends to how he treats people for better or worse. My home boy ain’t walking around pretending everyone is deserving of hand holding and forgiveness. He’s beating everyone over the head when they do something stupid. NO ONE is immune to a Teachable Moment.

Which is probably the funniest thing about him. This man is incapable of not teaching. The entire city is being overrun by zombies and he stops in the middle of defending citizens to give Noelle a pep talk and magic lesson??? Bro. Time and place, my dude. I love you.

Actually the funniest thing about him is that despite obviously being the most reserved of the Vermillions, this guy has no chill. If he’s not screaming passionately about something that someone needs to learn, he’s squaring up. He has no off switch. Sure, he’s not running around with his fists up like Meoroleona and Leopold, but if you think he’s going to be any slower to throw a punch than they are then you and I are watching different anime. He may canonically be the most intelligent of the captains, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not a meathead. And I think that’s beautiful.

Okay the ranks get harder after this because these two are so easily my favorite LOL

3. Meoroleona Vermillion

I could say a lot of things about Meoroleona, but to save some space, I’m going to refer you to #2, and also show you my favorite character from Steven Universe. You do the math.

4. and 5. Nebra and Solid Silva

These two are such bitches. At this point in the series, they only exist to a) be Nozel’s hype men and b) be the bane of Noelle’s existence, and as a writer, I respect that. There’s not a lot to them in canon, but that hasn’t stopped me from designing their entire lives and backstory. I love them so much; not only for what I’ve made them out to be, but for where they could go as characters. We’ve already seen this a little bit with their asses being handed to them in fights, and I just hope that their asses continue to get handed to them until they come around to have some respect for anyone but each other and themselves. In the meantime I’ll continue developing their personalities on an interpersonal level.

Okay I’m not done. The REAL reason these guys made 4th and 5th is because, like I mentioned before, I am a slut for sibling relationships. Black Clover does them s o well. Even with the little we’ve seen, it’s so easy to tell that their love for Nozel and each other is so deep and sincere... even if it might be just a tad bit dysfunctional. There’s so much ground to cover with how the death of their mother affected them and pushed them closer together. But I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t have been super close had she stayed alive. You can just tell in everything they do that they live for each other. They’re EVERYTHING to each other. You get the impression that these two probably don’t really know how to be people separate from their siblings, because all they’ve ever had is each other. It’s such a great dynamic to grow and explore and if we don’t get more Silva interaction in the future I’m gonna throw a fit.

6. Ladros

Okay this is the point where this list starts getting a little wonky because I like almost everyone else in the series just about the same but---

I have feelings about Ladros Ladros. I don’t even know what it is about him. His design is impeccable. Every time I see him I want to scream. What emotion does he instill in me? Love? Hate? Lust? Disgust? I really don’t know. I just know that there’s a lot of it. Look at his little black eyes. Look at his smile. His hair. His barrel chest that doesn’t fit his twink face. What a man. I sure do feel about him.

Also, he’s my preferred brand of Little Shit.

7. Zora Ideale

Everything that applies to Ladros applies to Zora in exactly the same way. Priddy and meen. At least his face fits his body.

8. Finral Roulacase

He’s such a sweetheart, and I like his new haircut. I wish he was real so he could be my friend. And I cannot stress this enough: I feel that way about NO ONE else on this list. The rest of these assholes are better off fictional, but the world needs more Finrals.

9. Henry Legolant

Unlike every other character on this list, I actually don’t think that Henry’s design is all that pretty. What I love about Henry is that his whole personality is “My fragile heart is overflowing with love and care for all my friends... and if you so much as think about hurting them, I will pound your bones to dust.” And he follows through. King.

10. Dorothy Unsworth

There is no way that glitzy baby doll Dorothy wasn’t going to end up on this list BEFORE I found out that she and Nozel have feelings jams in Glamor World. Once we see more of her I’m sure she’ll fly up the list.

So, there you go! Thank you so much for the ask! This was really a struggle to put together after #5, but I had a great time doing it.

[batsy-batsy-batsy-blog1]

Your Puddin’ Wants You [The Joker x Harley] A sequel

The very much requested and long time coming sequel to Where Are You Looney Tune? which you can find here (tumblr link) and here (ao3 link)

Authour’s note: This is my interpretation of how long it took him to find Harley. I apologize if you’ve been waiting for this and it’s kinda bad. Also I’m writing this while my mental state is not very good, let’s see how depressing this can get.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. It was not supposed to take this long. He was not not supposed to end up here.

The bedroom was not supposed to become an unbearable place to be. Causing destruction, causing chaos, hell even so much as shooting someone wasn’t supposed to become so lonely. Yet joking around with no one to admire your humour is a pretty sad business, and not that he’d ever admit it, that’s what the joker was, sad.

2 weeks into Harley’s disappearance, Joker was more mad than anything. He smashed his phone, going even more insane from all the unanswered texts. Finding her had been but on the back burner (maybe he was half hoping she’d turn up on her own) and his every waking moment, which was every moment, was dedicated to revenge. He blamed the world for the fact that his favourite play thing had gone missing, and he destroyed where ever he went. This wasn’t exactly unusual behaviour for the Joker, but this destruction came with less laughter and much more irreversible damage. Instead shooting up a building and taking what he wanted, or maybe what she wanted, he burned the place to the ground and watched with stone cold eyes. Instead playing with one victim, drawing out the death and torture as long as he could, he would shoot and stab, killing in quick succession, because no one was innocent, everyone had wronged him. And why bother put on a show when you had no one to cheer you on?

1 month into Harley’s disappearance, revenge became boring, and what with never being able to get his hands on the two big culprits, Gordon and the Bat, he began to feel like he was wasting his time. Harley still wasn’t home, and he realized she wasn’t coming on her own. 

At this point, being alone was actually starting to take a toll on the Joker, and it was becoming visible. The man always looked positively immaculate, and now, he seemed to have dulled. Smile less wide, teeth less blinding. He almost always looked bored when at his club, because no matter what dancer they had that night, she wasn’t Harley, and she was, in his mind, and absolute train wreck compared to her. They simply didn’t, couldn’t, and would never do “it” for him. Harley had a certain something, maybe it was the fact she was bat-shit crazy, totally unhinged-mad, he never could out his finger on it, but he knew no one could compare.

2 months in, he had no more time for his personal endeavours, Harley being gone made everything un-fun. His smile was becoming a rarity, he was aware of that fact, and he wasn’t okay with it. He needed her home, fast, for his sake. He missed having his own personal cheerleader, his missed hearing he laugh, without fail, at every single one of his jokes. Her laugh always mixed perfectly with the screams of his latest comedic bit. Now, nothing. He had always been a firm believer in the fact that silence was deafening, and her silence had him going blind too. 

Public appearances were rare for him, he sent his goons to do all the work now. Everyone, except Frost, were now doing 100% of his “work”. A group of more trusted men were now in charge of the club, and he only came in when, what he liked to called, business disputes, arose. On a regular day, getting a face to face with the Joker was a terrible honour, and if you were oh so unfortunate as to receive one, you best had learned to hold your tongue. Now a days, it was certain death sentence, for those who distracted him from getting his Harley back deserved nothing less than the most painful death.

The 3 month mark came with a tremendous turn of events, that, thankfully wouldn’t last long. Anyone present in the Joker’s penthouse that night, those left alive anyway, would recount it as the most petrifying moment of their lives. It started a goon being sent to Joker to tell him that his latest lead on Harley had turned up empty. This lead also happened to being the first one he had been able to find since she went missing. From Frost’s point of view the night went a little something like this:

He was downstairs, hovering near the foot of the grand staircase, anxious to hear the Joker’s reaction to this news. He heard a gun go off, and the unmistakable thud of a body hitting the floor, that much he had expected. What he didn’t expect was the crashing, and yelling that followed. His feet slammed on the steps as he dashed to find out was was going on. Closing in on the bedroom, he could hear wood splintering, and could it be? Laughter? Frost arrived in the doorway, and he was shocked.

“Bitch, stupid fucking bitch...” Joker was muttering between wild-eyed laughter that seemed to be leaking how of him without him wanting to. Yes, laughter was an involuntary reflex, but this looked uncontrollable, and Frost could tell he wanted to stop, but he couldn’t.

The bedroom itself was in the process of being destroyed. The large wardrobe had been tipped on top of the body, it had a large pool of blood spreading from beneath it that gave the illusion the wardrobe was bleeding. His desk looked as if it had been picked up, and thrown against the wall, which Frost had no doubt he’d done, because now Joker was using one of the legs to smash the mirror of Harley’s vanity. The same vanity that held all of her makeup and the countless pieces of jewelry the Joker had acquired for her, the same vanity he had refuse to touch until she came back. This vanity was not covered in glass, but only for a moment, because not even a second after he broke the mirror, he threw the desk leg aside, and swept everything from it’s surface, smashing what could be smashed.

“She didn’t disappear, no no no, that little bitch left me...”

He jumped onto the bed, slamming the pillows into the walls until feather flew from them, and they depleted to nothing but fabric. He wasn’t done there, as he fell to his knees, digging his boney fingers into the satin sheets, and pulling until they tore. He put one piece in his mouth and grabbed the other with both ends, splitting it clean into.

“She never appreciated anything, did she Frosty old boy?”

Frost hadn’t even realized the Joker knew he was there.

“Nothing, that bitch, leaves me, turns me into this, I’m gonna kill her” More laughter “I’m going to fucking kill her Frost.”

After this announcement, he destroyed everything Harley owned, burned her clothes, broke her shoes, smashed her guns, snapped her knives. Then he killed. To list date, Frost swears it was the biggest massacre the Joker ever went on. The GCPD is still finding corpses from that night.

Before moving onto the city, the Joker killed every last goon he could find in his penthouse, a lucky few hid well enough to survive, then there was Frost, who was merely ignored, he felt so honoured.

Mr. J returned home with the sunrise. No one quite know what happened that night, there are few witnesses, and even those, only caught a glimpse of him, maybe a flash of green hair, a blink of he purple suit. The only things that are for certain that night is countless people died, 6 buildings crumbled to the ground, 3 burned down, and the Joker returned broken, bloody, and with a black sharpie smile drawn around him mouth.

Frost was the only one left in the penthouse, and the Joker looked him dead in the eye and whispered;

“Harley never learns of this,”

As he stumbled up the stairs, Frost could have sworn he heard him say, “Harley would kill me if she found out.”

As more months flew by, the bedroom had been completely shut up, Joker refused to set foot inside, and chained the door shut with an, albeit, over-dramatic chain.

Joker had taken to spending his time in a previously empty room, one of the many he had no purpose for. It had started with him taking his nightly drinks in there, sitting in the middle of the floor. Maybe he’d leave a knife or gun behind, the room was actually quite a mess of empty bottles and mismatched weaponry for a while. However, one day, the knives had been arranged into a neat circle, then the guns around them, he added his empty liquor bottles as well, then he started requesting things, the oddest of things. Obviously not from Frost, Frost had been ordered not to speak to him unless in was news of Harley. But his other goons, new ones he’d brought in, he sent them to fetch him more weapons, then laptops, 3 dozen roses, a piano at one point, but everyone heard him destroy it. The requests became weirder and more frequent, odd knickknacks, stacks of cash, full bottles of various alcohols he never drank from, tablets, iPads, a ridiculous amount of specifically joker and queen playing cards, even baby’s footie pyjamas, but no one was certain of where those came from, the list goes on. All of this gradually building up into his very own, neat and tidy, circle of insanity. And the second the Joker, King of Chaos, starts trying to create order, you know something’s up.

After the 8 month mark he never left that room, he delegated all the things he once loved doing, killing, mind games, all of it, put on the shoulders of his men, because the Joker may not have been himself anymore, but even he knew the importance of keeping up appearances.

9 months, and he was never not drunk. He had slowly been replacing all of Harley’s things he had destroyed, adding a mannequin into his room wearing one of his favourite jester costume of her’s. The first outfit he ever gotten her, you can’t beat a classic. Some of the iPads and tablets now displayed her face twenty four/seven.

Maybe this looks a bit sweet from the outside, but don’t be fooled, this man was broken. A shell of the grand, dramatic, show-boating, attention-seeking person he was, and to see him like this, well, it would have made the GCPD throw a party, I’ll put it like that.

You see, during these months, crime had gone way down, down for Gotham anyway, it still had some of the highest rates in the country. Without the Joker, other villains and maniacs viewed it as their opportunity, their 15 minutes of fame, but without trying to catch the Joker tying up all their time, the police had could actually crack down on everyone else, but no one could top him. He was Gotham’s most wanted, no one could compare.

Order had to be restored, Frost knew this, the mob bosses couldn’t think they ran the city again, all hell would break loose, and the perfect pecking order the Joker had created in Gotham’s underground would crumble.

Frost had been putting his full force into trying to locate Harley, he had never expected it take this long, it was as if they had erased her from society. Reduced her existence to nothing but a single mug shot circulating the air waves to serve as a warning, and a reminder the police could actually do something right. He new better, she wasn’t merely gone, Harley Quinn would never allow herself to be gone, someone knew something, and Frost was going to find it. It was, after all, all on him now, as Joker was too busy drowning his sorrows and slaughtering his liver to search anymore.

At exactly the one year mark, Frost found his final puzzle piece, a name. Grigges, first or last name he wasn’t sure, although, that would be a hell of a first name, it was all he needed.

This puzzle piece also served as a key, unlocking the ruthless killer we all know as the Joker. When he heard this, the car was brought around, and he emerged from his cave as bright and shiny as ever. A real smile on his lips instead of the one he fashioned for himself. Hair slicked back once again, clothes changed for the first time in weeks, and miraculously, he had managed to rid himself of the pungent stench of alcohol.

“Let’s play Frosty!”