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probably a very very hot take on this website but I kind of hate the fandom culture of taking two characters (not always but usually same sex) with a very deep or strong bond and going "omg they're so queercoded" "they're literally canon" when like 90% of the time the things they do yes, show a deep devotion to one another, but could just very much be read as platonic love. it's very amatonormative imo and paints romance as the ultimate and deepest form of love rather than just another type of it that can be equally as strong as platonicity.
#if you want an example of this trend that's actually queercoded look at pearlina from splatoon#a lot of the stuff they do/say has an explicitly romantic subtext that you can tell the creators meant for#like how marina draws pearl or when she gets mad at acht for flirting with her#as opposed to a ship like marcille and falin from dungeon meshi#where people go “they're so lesbians” but most of what they do can very well just be platonic and show a strong friendship#yes even the bath scene. friends of the same gender taking baths together is very normalized in japan.#take this with a grain of salt because i have only really seen the anime but from what i've heard and seen of the manga#i doubt there are really many examples of romantic subtext there either#wrightworth is like the flagship example of “they're so canon” to me and that one's complicated#like there are very much examples of romantic subtext and we know the creators took inspiration from yaoi from the second game onwards#but a lot of the scenes people point to as examples of queercoding can just be read as platonics#i'm sorry gang but “unnecessary feelings” doesn't necessarily imply romantic feelings#i get that it's fun to go “teehee they're so gay look” but it's at the point where it's a meme. and undermines what actual queercoding is.#as i've drifted away from fandom culture because of the antisemitism™#i don't feel nearly as much of a need to justify my ships based on canonicity anymore#like yeah it can suck for your favorite ship to not have much evidence when you need it for shipping wars#but have you considered shipping wars are fucking stupid in the first place#who cares. one of my otps have barely interacted in canon and idgaf.#i like them because i think they're a good match not because i have proof of them acting gay#and again it's very amatonormative and the prioritization of romantic relationships over platonic ones in fandoms are a whole other convo#i don't even identify as arospec anymore and it still bugs me to no end#amatonormativity#hila has spoken
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guy who "should probably be in therapy"
#text#therapy tag#its been almost a year since my disastrous attempt to get back into therapy#and. 14? months since i quit#bc going was just Pissing me off like my therapist was a nice guy but like#it was literally Always just. summarizing my week. Maybe doing a workbook. and then being done 23 minutes into my 55m session#like i'd try to bring up stuff to talk abt and he'd brush past it#repeatedlyyyyy. like it was a PATTERN at some point i was just like. man this is just pissing me off#like im not getting any benefit anymore#ive been trying to figure out what the best modality for me would be but i keep coming up empty#and most of the therapists in the area slash in general seem to be short term cbt therapists#and if i see one more short term cbt therapist......... Man i cant do it i CANTTTT#i think the issue is behavioral therapy in general. dbt was helpful when i was 14 but like. i did it i learnt the skills#behavioral therapy in general focuses on . behaviors. and changing those And thats not my issue and focusing on Behaviors#when ive got big iceberg-style problems causing said Behaviors. is just not at all helpful#And like. im sick of hedging with therapists i want to find someone who i can just go to like. i think i have a dissociative disorder Pleas#help me be more functional and less distressed. But therapists/psychiatrists/professionals in general do NOT like hearing that#but also like. i KNOW MYSELFFFF im like 8 for 8 on correct self diagnoses i Know there is something going on in my brain#and i dont want to get to know a therapist over the course of several sessions only to find out they dont believe me#And the other thing i know about myself is i have no money and i dont know how health insurance works#And id need my therapy to be 100% covered. which like In this society. in this economy#God and there's also my other issue of 'feeling like i will be Exactly This Unwell Forever' and that ~april 2024 is 'as good as it will#ever get so why would i bother with therapy again'#or 'what can a therapist tell me that i cant tell myself' or 'what does talking to a professional do that Poasting on my Blog doesnt'#and the answers there are obvious if i use my brain but 'flop over and die' is my general response to every stressor ever#which is deeply unhelpful btw#I could get a lot of attention and a lot of help by hospitalizing myself but thats a) a little unnecessary rn b) stressful and#c) expensiveeeee. but it's worth considering#And trust it does not escape my notice thgat i would have a case worker to help with all this if i hadnt been too scared to#answer phone calls when i started the process in the crisis unit when i was 18
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#hey if you notice a mistake in a video#and the vid is like a month old#and that video has like over 40 k views#before commenting about the mistake#would you maybe consider one of the other many people who has watched it#has already pointed it out#and if you look in the comments#you will notice a pile of the comments pointing it out !#so adding your own two cents about the mistake is like ! unnecessary it’s already been done !!!!#this is so dumb but I keep getting comments about the backstitch lever on the sewing machine#and it’s like I KNOW NOW IM SORRY OK#no need for 50+ comments about it#it’s fine it’s fine I’m being annoying#but usually when I watch an older vid with a mistake I assume the uploader has already had it pointed out#and doesn’t need another reminder about it and the fact they can’t fix it#that and the STOP SEWING OVER PINS comment like I get it I get it we have different ways of doing stuff leave me alone#I mentioned it’s not a good idea and you can mess up your machine its just what I do sometimes#rabbit rambles#personal#sorry it’s time for the daily post of rabbit being annoyed by shit that Does Not Matter#but ranting into the void (ie Tumblr notes) helps get it off my head#and feel better#so here we are#feel free to block the tag rabbit rambles if you hate these#anyway
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we love winning 🥰🥰🥰
#uhhhh me#before anyone tells me paramount is evil too: I FUCKING KNOW OK#but i just need disney to lose#and to be beat by a cartoon blue hedgehog? lol. lmao even#fr though sonic 3 is actually really really good#out of the three we got so far it's the most sonic with the least unnecessary sideplots#like i do genuinely like the first two movies but i also can't deny the human stuff got kinda cringey in the second one#I PERSONALLY LIKE IT. but i know it's cringey
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Reading a little bit of this manga by the author of my lesbian experience with loneliness that's about her struggling with binge eating and bulimia and i hate to say it but it did make me feel better about myself also as someone who struggled with binge eating disorder all my life
#like reading it is different to idk watching a YouTube vid or a documentary on someone who also goes through that#the descriptions of the whole process and her thoughts around food really put things in perspective#like much more than “i love to eat and have no control over what I consume”#and it feels bad but it makes me feel a lot better because my case is not *that* extreme.#I definitely share the characters thoughts surrounding food and the route I make mentally is basically the same but I don't follow thru it#it's heartwarming in a sad way ? maybe ? to know people out there think the same crazy stuff about food that you do#well not heartwarming but def reassuring#kinda hate it that the character/author says she is not trying to get better but yeah another perspective I guess#cw ed#idk if I should give myself a pat on the back though when really the only reason my b.e.d never got to that point#is bc I have feelings of guilt towards spending in unnecessary food mostly more than I even want it#so it's very circumstantial and not because I'm special and very good at recovery or managing my impulses
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#so im finally reading through devilgram stuff#and i ended up reading asmos new card “Christmas Gifts”#its cute chill whatever#and im like oo let me read snowy bliss since i was so desperate to have this card for YEARS#so i finally get to actually read the story....#um that shit was way better than the christmas gifts one...!#like im actually tearing up cause wtf lmaoo#it just vibes with me so much better#i loved the interactions with asmo there so much more#i think its my fav card so far in nightbringer#AND ITS AN OG OBEY ME CARD#orz what happened#i just wanna snuggle up next to asmo and do coupley stuff#like sure the christmas gifts one isnt bad#but comparing it really just makes me kinda sad ig#i want to be romantic in these cards#cause im really busting my butt to collect them u know#anyways actual image of me trying to hold my unnecessary tears back#ALSO IT WAS FUNNY TOO#like theres an option where you can ask if asmo is talking about something perverted#and hes like im not perverted#with that stupid smile on his face#and it just tickled me so much#to me thats just really funny#like effortlessly funny#cause thats such cap#i like the kiss option more but man its still so good#i really miss this asmo okay yea he was a lot but i liked it#his forwardness and lack of shame when it came to this stuff is comforting to me okay!! *wails*
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adrian maben why did you make those choices with your camerawork in the oysters interview i need to know why like you did not want to make my life easy i can’t edit this shit bro 😭
that being said thank you for all your camerawork it’s very appreciated but it would just be nice to not have to soooo many tight closeups here okay it’s a lot dude <3
#lena.txt#i’m doing stuff lori thangs#adrian maben#pink floyd#live at pompeii#it was unnecessary you were not providing the full visuals i was looking for 😭#but it’s okay like love it but i just really want to know why#i’m honestly just curious why#i’m really high so that’s why this is the way it is lmao#like the best i can really do is post clips which is like fine you know but it’s just not the same#i know it’s not like a serious interview i guess per se - which i just learned how to spell like 2 days ago after saying it for so long#it’s not ‘per say’ but i thought it was this whole time and i use that term a lotttt#anyway the pompeii movie is great and this is a good interview#i just wish the visuals were giving a little bit more#like the guy was obsessed with roger which like yeah word but he would not stop zooming in on him all the time for no reason 😭#i was gonna say maybe bc he hates roger bc he’s difficult but like he was doing it to everyone to an extent just roger the most#it seems much more like an interest in him than disliking him but who knows
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!!!!!!
#so what the fuck#its so funny because i drove to my sister today#because she is having surgery so i am assisting for a couple days#last time i took archie in the car#he LOST ITM#there and back#an hour and a half ish#non stop#over 3 hours in total#today coming to my sisters#a 5-6 hour drive#he a perfect angel#he slept the ENTIRE TIME#Totally knocked out#nothing woke him#therre were so many bumps in the road#he was such a good boy i can#he woke up when we pulled up#now he stole the warm blanket#(because my sister turns the heat off at night also and its currently 47 degrees#i am so cold#im using old t shirts as blankets#i also have 2 sweaters on and thick sweat pants and a normal t#girl likes it COLD.#i also dont know how or if i should tell her whats going on with me#health wise such#she has so much going on#my stuff feels obsolete. unnecessary for her to have to deal with#id feel so bad if she had the information to#and i want to be here to take care of her and her not question that
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was scrounging around an old fan forum for fics yesterday (found some gems), and I forgot how much of the wild west forum fics are lol (zero tags in sight, vague summary, tells you who the pairing is if there is one (if you’re lucky), and rating with no details and thus no nuance). good luck, you’re going in blind. also, some of these commenters are BRUTAL. like more so than ffic.net (and if you’ve hung around in ffic.net comments you know how passive aggressive (and straight up aggressive) they can be 😬). I’ve gotten so used to the ao3 commenting ettiquette that it was a bit of a shock for a second lol.
#not that I haven’t seen plenty of rude or unnecessary comments on ao3 but they are much fewer and farther between#some of the best fics I’ve ever read have been on old forums or fan websites though#so the heavy lifting to find the good stuff is usually worth it to me#but man I don’t know if I would’ve had the guts to post anything of mine on one of these forums#as an aside a couple of sites that I’ve visited have had really good categorizing and tagging of stories (almost as good as ao3)#so they aren’t all as hard to find things on#ok now I will stop writing the essay that zero people asked for XD
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im with you 😭 i hate the reboot and the way it ruined the characters forever but theres some aspects of it which i really like and want to consider canon like cleo being explicitly wlw, some of the new characters and whatever the hell jfk and abe had going on, but there's other stuff which id rather forget or pretend isn't canon
I understand you bro! It's not like I hate everything about the reboot, it has some very interesting aspects and details and i do respect them. But yeaahhhh... Some things are just.... let's just pretend they don't exist <3
Honestly i rewatch the reboot more often than the first season and it is pretty fun in general, makes you feel strong emotions (ANGER IS ALSO AN EMOTION BTW), but i'm doomed to skip many scenes (or close my eyes during them lol) just because 1) they're not funny at all 2) they are disgusting 3) they don't make any sense and make me cringe
And if you ignore like 70% of the reboot suddenly it becomes easier to enjoy, funnier and doesn't suck that much <3
Anyways i still respect others opinion on the reboot, i know there are people who fully enjoy it or hate it completely, everything is pretty much subjective!!
#actually!!!! it's very hard for me to just ignore the canon it's like i depend on it too much#so i consider canon everything that happened in the reboot except maybe some unnecessary details#even the sa scene yeah....#BUT if you overthink suddenly everything makes sense and you don't feel the urge to send the nukes on clone high writers#IT'S A PERSONAL THING I KNOW IT'S MUCH EASIER TO JUST IGNORE STUFF BUT THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M A FAKE FAN SO </3#I'D BETTER ADD EXTRA LAYERS TO IT AND ACT LIKE THE REBOOT IS THE COOLEST SHIT EVER#alkenetalks#clone high#do you see how delusional i am <3#I DON'T WANT CLONE HIGH TO SUCK IT'S SUCH A GOOD SHOW WHY DID THEY RUIN IT 😭😭😭
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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I didn't used to believe in it, but the mean girl to nurse pipeline is genuinely real
These lab techs had me feeling like I was back in middle school being bullied by mean girls who were trying to pretend to be my friend even though I could tell they were clearly fucking bullying me
So that was an awful time
#the nurse practitioner himself though that I saw as my main doctor for this appointment was genuinely really fucking good though#very informative likes to get straight to the point and avoid unnecessary appointments and generally just a chill dude#the guy clearly knows what he's doing and I don't follow up with him until about mid-august but I'm looking forward to it actually#because I know I'm in good hands even if he told me some stuff that kind of scares me a little bit 😭
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Working on typing out the pinned post for the oc blog so I can get that up....soonish~
I think at this point, since I have stuff that I'm proud enough to use as a pfp and banner art, I'm just gonna launch it as soon as I get that finished. It won't have all the refs I wanted for it out yet, but I have Cecil's done and a desire to work of Faye's soooooo there's at least something. But yeah, my main thought is if I have the stuff to make it look pretty, then I should just go for it, or else it'll take forever to get launched. And it doesn't make sense to give myself more work when I can just have fun drawing what I want instead of worrying about a bunch of extra stuff. So yeah, gonna chip away at that and hopefully we'll be up by next week 😌👍✨️
#steamworksfairy updates#i can't wait to get that up and running#i've been wanting to for so long but never had the banner or pfp art#however i have stuff that looks good so finally i can cross this pff my list soon!!!#i might replace the banner art later on tho as i love it but I already know i can do better#however like i said i don't want to put unnecessary pressure on myself for a hobby#and would rather replace that later with something i wanted to work on instead of forced myself to#so yeah that's where i'm at in regards to that
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As upsetting as Bandai Namco is, I am excited that Asbel's outfit is finally in Yumia! It looks incredible on her! I've been tempting to get the Digi Deluxe for that gothic dress because it's cute and she's gorgeous in it! But I... didn't actually like the game. I'm going to try again with Asbel's costume and power through though!
I have come back to Nelke recently. I remember low-key hating it because of the gameplay and progression. Definitely a slap in the face for what it was, even now. But I enjoy the loop so much more, and some of the scenes really are cute and funny!
I have nostalgia and attachment carrying me for Nelke, but that I've come to love it so much now and am addicted, I'm hoping I can enjoy Yumia.
#then again while i loved ryza 2#i got bored of 1 and couldn't stand 3#i know people hate the phrasing but it really did feel like a weak#wannabe botw clone in terms of how it handled the open world#and yumia feels worse in some respects of being a lazy clone#with a weak take on an open world#it's nice and open certainly but it reminds me of how hollow the term has been for decades#and how easily gamers lose the plot around that language#i hate headass forced mechanics too the key shit in ryza 3 was annoying#technically ryza 2's and lulua's book are annoying too!#but lulua did better if slightly and it didnt feel so bad#as yumia trying to pretend to be a cohesive action title#so many games that were perfectly fine jrpgs really are trying to pretend to be botw or loz in general now#reminds me of someone mentioning the skimming through walls and climbing hard spaces in ff7r is just pointless filler#and it is so many of these jrpgs now pad the game with silly stuff that people buy and lap up#but then turn around and say other games are unnecessary timesinks or the worst reverse#that short games that are straightforward are bad. maybe theyre just not wasting and disrespecting your time!#i vented and rambled like mad but i am gonna give it a shot!#i want yumia to be my wifey - felt that day one - and asbel's fit looks good. i want to make this happen for me
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honestly guys i miss someone important but i think its going to be alright!
#ppanicposts#THIS IS ABOUT VTUBERS AND IM BEING PARASOCIAL I PROMISE I AM NOT BEING A LITTLE YEARNING BITCH BOY#im not mr polish meowmeow (reference for irlmoots)#well hes also parasocial but for carti which is a different genre of parasocial i think#anyway ranting about vtubers now#i was pissed when people started bothering each other about it like a drama and not like its srs when stuff first came out#but now i feel a little better about it and that its going to be fine#other fans have been staying strong#another liver indirectly confirmed hes alright in a memba stream#a liver that was speculated to be involved in the problem is back! and not sussed just on break#but she had a birthday stream 🎉 and shes doing alr too#i threw myself into other liver fandoms or in other franchises to distract myself#but after his clips started resurfacing on my yt i realized#i do really hope he comes back 😭 or whatever he decides to do its all going to be okay#i wont fw him if the problems are all true and i wont lie or say i know for a FACT theres no way anythings true#bc im a fan and i dont know what goes on behind the scenes#but atp speculating is unnecessary#and rn i think i trust the word of any livers that comes straight from their mouths over people who want to stir up problems#if youre saying a liver said something i better hear it again from that liver#so if livers seem to be doing more positively? if other livers are going on okay without it seeming like there is no war in ba sing se?#im taking that as a good sign.#every time a problem happens btw#even in february last year where SHIT HIT THE FAN SO BAD#i decided that its better to move on and not take sides because all the livers seemed happier that way#all of them.#when after she left a liver i love immediately jumped to collab with her again#but also uplifted fans of the liver everyone said had a problem with her#i decided if that liver i love is at peace with everyone then it will all be okay 👍 and just keep supporting#i know some things you say are for business when it comes to vtubing because all it is is content creation#but i think they are not someone who goes out of their way for something that isnt genuine
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NO he's about to become an uncle!! he can't die he's not allowed!! he and buck are going to be uncles together HE CAN'T DIE HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO
#i'm in the denial stage and they haven't even pronounced him dead yet#but i know where this is going because of their fucking song choice#it's literally to build a home. one of the saddest fucking songs#either i'm 100 percent right#or they're doing a really good job playing me for a sucker right now#i was going to work on another needle felt dino but i'm so distracted rn#him dying paralleled to his niece being born??#he has zero chances of survival#this is so dumb#it feels so unnecessary#stuff like this takes me out of the story because now i'm asking myself if they just needed to kill of his character because the actor was#done being on the show or smth#if he survives i'll eat my proverbial hat#nikita watches 911
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