#but i guess that's the price you pay when you end chapters based on vibes XD

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Chapter 15, you fucking bitch. Don't you know I don't like going over 5k????

[broxklynn]

The End Of My Candy Love

Warning!

Alright, so. This post will contain a lot. First of all, it's gonna be really sloppy. I'm very emotional person and I easily get attached to games, movies and stuff. I know it's a bit weird, but yeah, I'm a weird person. Anyway, that's why there's a warning: there's gonna be a lot of sloppiness, grammar mistakes (at least I think so, specially since english isn't my native languange) and it's probably going to be long. So, if you're intrested in reading my thoughts about everything - good luck.

First Adventure

I first heard about "My Candy Love" in 2015, six years ago. So, I was basically a baby (I'm pretty young). And I started playing a year after, I got totally obssesed with Lysander and I fell in love, seriously, haha. I was into writing back then, but I couldn't find any ideas on "what to write?" and MCL gave me just that - inspiration (that's most likely why I'm just a romance freak).

My Story

You know, I was a child so I couldn't really pay for AP, but I always found some kind of way to get them. But then I got my phone I just used money from that, geez, I was nuts. The old AP system was so iconic, looking for Nathaniel, finding Kiki, I'm gonna miss it.

Anyway, I got along with Castiel pretty well (which suprises me 'cause I found about walkthroughs in 2017, like year after, so maybe it was because I was a brat?), but I adored Lysander. Oh, I also loved Ken (I was so sad when he went away) and Nathaniel. After I met Armin, I liked him too.

Again, being a child and playing a game like this I came across all diffrent kinds of emotions. I was laughing, crying, dying from embaressment (this thing with Nath and locker room, aaa) and getting seriously mad (Deborah's arc, Priya, Charlotte). I remember impatiently waiting for new episode to come out or crying my eyes out during Lysander's amnesia plot. Jesus. I loved the way Castiel was teasing Candy, I loved this cute-clumsy Kentin, I loved the old Nathaniel, I loved Armin and most of all - I loved my precious Lysander. I adored the interactions between characters, how funny or cringy they were and how much fun I had. I even like this secret-dating plot even when it got on my nerves. I still remember staying up late to watch videos like "lysander illustrations" and stuff. I also really enjoyed reading MCL manga and I spent hours trying to translate it from Spanish to English or my native languange (funfact: I still haven't finished it! I don't know where to find those mangas) or trying to draw something from the game up ending up terribly failing. Anyway, I was crying during the prom thing, my Candy was so grown-up, I got emotional, haha. So, 40 episode came in. I was pretty excited 'because, me, being extremely naive (I got to say, I've never had a problem with Beemoov before, I started playing MCL in 2016 and Eldarya in 2017, so there were no major issues with them, only the price of PA, I think) thought that my Lysander is going to propose (I was a child, ok?) and maybe, there's going to be a second season with us living together. Haha, how naive I was. Whole episode 40, really got me tearing up, I was a wreck, seriously (When Kentin couldn't take Candy's bra off I lost it or this whole ananas thing in Castiel's route, omg). But I finished it feeling happy. I truly enjoyed spending my time on this game. But, then this whole university thing came out. And the fact, that Lysander, Armin and Kentin won't be with us foe the next season. I spent entire vacation crying (I was a kiddo, ok?) and being mad at everyone. I felt like I got robbed. It was horrible.

"A New Chapter"

I was one of these people who just couldn't accept the change. Not in the world. Never. They stole my Lysander, Kentin and Armin from me and changed AP system to some kind of bullshit. God, I was mad. Really mad. Seeing Castiel was quite nice, but I didn't fill the void of my baby. But, oh, my, God. When I saw Nathaniel I just couldn't believe. I said I was mad? Then I was furious. I really liked the old Nathaniel, he had his own vibe, his backstory, his character and it was just, damn, amazing. But they changed him completely, for what? They wanted the second Castiel? Yeah, they got it. Priya as a love interest was quite a good move, tho. I even though I didn't like her (in highschool or in university) I liked the idea of adding a female interest. But the thing that hurted me, was the fact that Lysander was taking care of the farm. Like, no! He didn't want that. He didn't like the countryside. He had such a potential to become a author and Beemoov didn't let him. God, that broke my heart. Anyway, I didn't spent a single penny on MCLUL, but I have to say - I kinda enjoyed it. You know, it was the guily-pleasure kind of thing. I didn't like it as much as I liked highschool, but there were some good or funny moments. I loved Rayan's kiss scene. I adored Chani. Or Hyun making us watch "Toy Story". Nathaniel's ulgy green hair or all these crazy threesomes. I liked it. Kinda. I hated Nath tho. The ending, hm, it was okay, I guess? I do feel sort of nostalgic thinking about it 'cause I got some nice memories from it, in the end. But yeah, going on.

Love Life

Oh. My. Lord. I was so sceptical about it. Like, I was sure that, at this point they're going to do "My Candy Love Mid-Life Crises" next or some other shit. But in the end, I "kinda" like it. It wasn't good like highschool or fresh like university, but I was nice to see new chapters with our annoying-cringy Candy, that I love (btw, I started playing other otome games and I realized that Candy wasn't that bad). Meeting Eric was nice, even tho, this whole cheating plot really got me ragging. Like, damn, Beemoov, seriously? And if you going this, why not with old LIs? Just kidding. Anyway, I truly enjoyed meeting Dan and Eric, the two of them were quite a characters. I won't forget them, hah. I was happy with single ending, 'cause I think about it as a "open ending" when my Candy can go back to my baby and everything's going to be alright.

Regrets & Complaints

Now, now. Where do I start? AP system was a freaking nightmare. Replacing old Nathaniel with some kind of weird Castiel was a nightmare. Removing Lysander, Nathaniel, Armin and Kentin was a nightmare. Not finishing plots was a nightmare. And why in the whole Love Life I haven't seen Amber once? Why Alexy never mentioned Evan like they're not brothers? Why Castiel doesn't care that I was dating his bestfriend? And why, in the world, after changing the system finding Kiki is so damn easy? Why AP is so expensive? So many questions!

All The Good Times

But, I got to say. I will never forget this bitchy Castiel, cookie-monster Ken following us around. Or cute Nathaniel. Castiel buying Candy some kind of weird McDonald's. Or Lysander's parents exposing him having crush on Candy. Or seeing Kentin kissing Amber (ew). This super akward-funny sex ed lesson. Deborah's arc and losing my shit over it. Or Thomas (this weird child) stalking my Candy and her LI in the park. And Lysander asking us how to hide a body, aaa. Or Armin telling us he loves us. Or Kentin. And Cookie ripping this huge teddybear apart. Or the water fight in Kentin’s spin off. And crushing on Alexy and later on finding out he’s gay. Or spin-the-bottle game and Lysander getting jealous. Or Dake, being a creep for entire game straight. Or guessing what was guy's surnames. And for sure, I will never forget this demonic Kiki dog.

What it worth it?

In the end, yes. Have I ever told you that I want to become a professional writer? Silly dream, I know, but writing is a huge passion of mine, and well, my first story was based off My Candy Love (it is cringy as hell, but I feel kinda nostalgic thinking about it). All these years spending on playing game that I wasn't supposed to be playing was amazing. It was one of the best experiences I had in life and I will never, ever forget that.

What now?

Well, Beemoov is working on a new game and I'm kinda optimistic. I know, it's really naive of me, but I want to believe that they won't f*ck this up, this time. And going back to Sweet Amoris, well, I truly missed this place! And the teachers... And Kiki. I wonder, when it will be released and will Beemoov finally open up about telling us surnames and ages of love interests. Anyway, I want to believe they learnt from their mistakes.

In the end. Thank you, My Candy Love, for creating so many memories. I will be forever grateful. 

(I just re-read this post and it seems like I have really love-hate relationship with this game)

[rivalsforlife]

AAA thank you for the commentary and also for the links for the art + the piece with kay giving miles a hug, i hadn't seem them!! miles really really needed that hug :C since you said you like doing commentary, i'm so sorry, but can i ask for phoenix and miles talking in the hospital in chapter 7? reading the commentary about The Scene made me rush to read it again right after haha take your time though, i get these are long to do and all!! thank you again!

Anonymous said:

Wait hold on I would purchase this DVD Director’s Cut Commentary on your fics in heartbeat! I only just realized that you were doing them. Sorry to be another catch up game request and sorry that it’s a somewhat long passage, but could you comment on the scene where Phoenix and Miles reconcile in Miles’ hospital room in chapter 8?

Got two asks for this one so I guess I have to do it haha! (And I’m assuming the first anon meant chapter 8 instead of chapter 7 haha.)

and also @\ second anon request I am so glad to hear that there’s a market for my 150 hour long DVD that’s me reading my fics and then rambling about them repetitively the whole time, maybe I can drop out of school after all! (jokesjokes)

Anyways!! the scene!! under the cut!!

I totally lied I have a few things to talk about first... this is probably one of the scenes I fiddled around the most with at the last minutes before publishing, because like I said in my commentary of The Scene at the end of chapter 5, it got a much bigger reaction than I was anticipating and then I was side-eyeing the rest of this fic to make sure it worked out haha. Particularly this scene, since it’s sort of the resolution to the end of chapter 5, so I wanted it to work out alright without it seeming like it just... wrote off everything that happened with chapter 5.

Okay I’ll start now I promise.

Phoenix’s heart pounded in his chest to a degree he thought might have something to do with a health condition. Maybe it was in the pamphlets. Kay reached around him, knocked on the door, and gave him a wink before darting away. How disrespectful.

meddlesome thief daughter is determined to help get her totally-not-a-dad a boyfriend. Also Phoenix is way more intimidated by the thought of an Honest Emotional Conversation than he is at running into a burning building which I think is in character, honestly.

“Come in,” said Edgeworth’s muffled voice, so Phoenix gave himself one moment to take a deep breath and then entered the room.

Edgeworth sat in the bed by the window, looking at his burnt and bent out-of-shape Steel Samurai figurine perched on the windowsill. At least it had been recovered; Edgeworth was fond of that one. Edgeworth himself was definitely worse for wear, with his hands bandaged and gripping tightly to his inner arms, and his skin a sickly pale colour where it wasn’t bruised, but he was awake and alive and the sight was nearly breathtaking.

hhghgh okay confession time! Up until I was about halfway through the fic the big moments in chapter 7 went down a little differently - originally this was going to involve, like, Miles getting kidnapped by the mafia group he was taking down and then Phoenix would go in and break him out of there, but then I ended up taking it out because I wasn’t really Vibing with it and it just seemed too dramatic and implausible... but honestly what I went with was probably equally dramatic and implausible, so no points there for me.

I mean I kinda regret burning down the prosecutor’s office. If I had more time to prepare/edit or I guess if I could do one thing in this fic differently, I’d probably rewrite part of this resolution so it was more emotionally oriented because I suck at action. plus like the health-related consequences of this whole misadventure kind of got glossed over, in true ace attorney fashion, but regardless. 

This was absolutely caused by me not being totally sure what hurt/comfort meant (which chapters 7 and 8 were based on as a theme) and figuring to go with the safer option of more physical hurt/comfort than more emotional hurt/comfort; although some of that got in there at the end.

And one of my edits was definitely recovering the Steel Samurai figurine because that was the most critical thing in Miles’ office imo. Or at least from Miles’ perspective.

Edgeworth looked over as Phoenix entered, and his entire body sagged in relief. “Phoenix,” he breathed.

“Hey.” Awkwardly sticking his hands in his pockets, Phoenix walked over and sat on the chair beside his bed. He couldn’t help but think about the last time he and Edgeworth had been in a hospital room together, their positions reversed. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” said Edgeworth, and his voice was still rough. “I—I don’t… you’re alive.”

“‘Course I am.”

“Gumshoe and Kay told me everything, you know.” A menacing look flashed through his eyes. “What you did.”

Phoenix braced himself.

Gumshoe and Kay probably were there right when Miles woke up, a little before Phoenix did, I suppose -- or at least around when he was being rescued, maybe? I didn’t think this timeline through super well since Miles was in worse condition... ignore that! Anyways they definitely told Miles that Phoenix was alive, but considering Miles presumably witnessed him fall through a burning building, he can’t fully believe it until he sees Phoenix upright and walking around like nothing’s wrong.

“How could you be so reckless?” he hissed, and even though some of the danger was lessened when his voice was so shaky, Phoenix still recoiled. “You could have died, easily! You defied direct police orders and — and all — all logic and reason and for what?”

“To save you. Of course.”

“I would have been fine!”

Risking his life for someone is just your average Tuesday for Phoenix. But it shook up Miles a lot, and all of his anger is completely coming from a place of concern, but Miles being Miles doesn’t really know how to express emotions outside of angry glaring and in this case angry yelling.

“Would you?” Phoenix challenged, and Edgeworth’s glare redoubled. “Look, Edgeworth, I wasn’t going to die, not while I still had something to live for —”

“How is that going to stop you?” Edgeworth demanded. “People can have the world to live for and they still die! By your logic, I-I wasn’t enough for m-my —” He turned away and broke off into a coughing fit.

The realization struck Phoenix like a physical blow. “No, I didn’t mean to suggest —”

The “I wasn’t going to die, not while I had something to live for” is a reference to Phoenix’s line at the end of AA4; “People don't die that easily, really. ... As long as they've got something worth living for.” Which is a nice sentiment, really, and might work for Mr. Indestructible over here, but is not how things actually work, which Miles points out.

What he was going to say (if it’s not obvious) is “By your logic, I wasn’t enough for my father,” because you know Gregory would have done anything to stay with his son, but a bullet to the heart is a bullet to the heart. There’s not much “having something to live for” can do about that.

“Something to live for isn’t going to save you!” continued Edgeworth, once he recovered. “Why can’t you realize that? It’s not going to stop a bullet, it’s not going to save you from a fall, you — how much longer are you going to keep relying on your luck like this?! Do you — do you even realize how much danger you keep putting yourself in?”

His choice of examples here are what I want to talk about - “not going to stop a bullet” refers to both Gregory’s murder and also the last time he saw Phoenix’s life in danger, during SOJ when the guards burst in and are pretty much pointing guns at their heads -- I’d be surprised if Miles wasn’t terrified watching that, even if he wouldn’t admit it after everything calmed down. “not going to save you from a fall” refers both to this most recent falling through a burning building but ALSO Phoenix falling through the burning bridge in Bridge to the Turnabout, another instance where Phoenix almost died and Miles was involved.

And the events of SOJ where Phoenix walks in and risks his life for a kid, while something that Miles understands he would do since that’s the kind of guy Phoenix is, still were reckless and if Phoenix didn’t have protagonist immunity who knows if he would have made it through Khura’in, which is the most recent traumatic event prior to this fic.

Phoenix held up his hands. “Edgeworth, it’s okay.”

“No! No it’s not! Y-You… Do you have a death wish? Why would you ever…” He trailed off, digging his fingers into his arms and looking away.

Miles is just kind of... panicking a lot as the full weight of the situation they were just in catches up with him and just how close he was to losing Phoenix. He was going to say something like “Why would you ever do that for me?” but that’s edging a little too close to the whole issue of the rejected confession; he’s not someone particularly special to Phoenix, at least not in the way Miles would like, and they parted on awkward terms, so why would Phoenix still go out of his way to save him like this?

“It’s fine,” Phoenix tried to soothe. “We’re alive. If I hadn’t gone in there, who knows if they would have gotten to you in time, or if you hadn’t gotten that mask on when you did… Look, I don’t want to just sit back and watch you die —”

“I don’t want you dead, either! You imbecile! You…” He took in a sharp, shaky inhale. “You could have died, and it would have been my fault, do you think I want that? Do you think I could live with myself if that had happened? And not just now, you keep throwing yourself into reckless situation after reckless situation and one day you’ll pay the price for it a-and god, Wright, no one would ever want that, do you even consider the effect that would have o-on Trucy, on everyone, on…”

He turned his head to the side to hide it better behind his bandaged hand, but Phoenix could still see the tears dripping down his face. Phoenix hadn’t seen him cry since — since they were kids, probably. His eyes had been a little watery after the DL-6 incident was resolved, but Phoenix hadn’t actually seen anything. Even when he came to the Agency after prosecuting cases where the public details alone made Phoenix’s stomach turn, and he’d whisper about the horrors with his face in his hands long after they were sure Trucy was asleep, he hadn’t cried.

“Miles,” Phoenix whispered, horrified, reaching out for his shaking shoulder.

Edgeworth flinched away, curling in on himself. “Please don’t touch me.”

Miles... pretty much has a full-on breakdown here because he’s been through a LOT in the past few days. He finally worked up the courage to confess to Phoenix and was rejected, and then probably spent a lot of time worrying about how this could change their friendship, and if Phoenix would be less comfortable around him from now on; plus in general the hurt of being rejected plus the humiliation of having read the situation so wrong (so he thinks). Then the office was attacked which was horribly traumatic on his own, and dredged up some DL-6 trauma for him too with the building shaking like it did. Then Phoenix comes running in to rescue him, which Miles doesn’t understand, because they had parted on awkward terms and he doesn’t think Phoenix would want to go rescuing him after that; at the same time this is the sort of thing Phoenix would do because he’s so dedicated to the people he cares about and Miles loves that about him; and then he thought for a while there that Phoenix had fallen and died trying to save Miles, making it indirectly Miles’ fault that he died, and now he’s lost the man he loves and he’s lost Trucy’s father and someone who was such a loyal friend to so many people -- but he’s okay! and acting like nothing happened! plus it’s the first time Miles has seen him since his attempted  confession and it’s still a little raw for him.

so he’s a complete wreck emotionally... which is why he’s crying. I don’t see Miles as the type of person to cry a lot and ESPECIALLY not in front of other people. That’s probably very embarrassing for him, too, not to mention he’s crying in front of Phoenix, who’s trying to comfort him, which just makes everything worse.

Also Phoenix calling Miles by his first name and kind of reaching out to hold him reaaaally does not help.

“Alright.” Phoenix reluctantly lowered his arm. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Phoenix corrected, and Edgeworth peeked out from between his arms with reddened eyes to glare at him. “I know that sounds like a half-assed apology. But I’m not going to apologize for saving your life. I’m never going to stand by and let you or anyone else die if I can stop it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

Another instance of Miles not knowing how to process feelings and being kind of angry-cat-like about it.

“Your life has more value than you know,” Edgeworth mumbled. “I wish you’d stop treating it so cheaply.”

“I’m not more important than anyone else.”

“You are to me.” Edgeworth sighed. “Forget I said anything. I know it isn’t going to stop you from doing the exact same idiotic thing in the future.”

HERE is a subtle callback to, once again, their conversation during the dinner in chapter 4 (which I’m referencing a lot back then since I guess it’s the scene where everyone’s repressing their emotions):

Phoenix immediately shook his head. “Hey, no, you were off doing research, planning to change the judicial system. I’m not more important than that.”

“You…” Edgeworth looked away and grabbed his arm. “... That doesn’t change the fact that I could have done more.”

He was going to say “You are to me”, like he did in this scene, but changed it at the last moment because it was too sappy and a little too close to his true feelings. 

Miles now, going through an emotional breakdown, has less control over what he’s saying so it just sort of slips out -- but he regrets saying it since, well, Phoenix doesn’t feel the same way about him, he wouldn’t want to hear that, it’s not going to change anything.

“I don’t think it’s idiotic for me to try and save someone I care about from death,” Phoenix argued, punctuating his sentence with a cough.

“You shouldn’t do that for me.”

“Of course I would risk my life for you. You’re… you…” The words got stuck somewhere before his tongue.

Edgeworth’s eyes squeezed shut as if in pain, and he turned his back to Phoenix. “Please just… give me space, Wright.”

What Phoenix is trying to do is express how important Miles is to him in a romantic sort of way, but he still hasn’t fully acknowledged everything yet to do so, there’s a whole psyche-lock left, so he can’t quite get it out.

Miles perceives this as Phoenix trying to comfort him and say that he is important -- and he does know that he is important in some way to Phoenix -- but trying to do it in a way that can’t be mistaken as romantically-intended, once again reminding Miles of “hey remember when you tried to confess to him and it backfired so horribly”, so he wants space. Both for now because he’s dealing with a lot of other trauma, but also to take some time and get over Phoenix so he isn’t reminded of this and they can go back to being friends like before.

“No,” said Phoenix, and when Edgeworth tensed, “I-I mean, yes, I’ll go in a minute. I just… I wanted to talk to you about, uh, before all this. I-I know it’s terrible timing.”

Edgeworth was silent. Phoenix feared he was being ignored. “It is indeed terrible timing,” he said, eventually, his voice nearly unrecognizable. “I thought I said I didn’t want to talk about this again.”

Miles is anticipating the “You’re a great guy and a great friend, I just don’t feel the same way, but I’m sure you’ll make someone happy someday” conversation, which, while not a bad thing in most situations, is really not what Miles wants to deal with right now! Avoiding it was partially the reason he left so quickly at the end of chapter 5, and now he’s cornered in his hospital bed and does not want to have this conversation... ever, really, but especially not right now.

Basically Phoenix’s timing sucks, don’t have an emotionally charged conversation about why you rejected your crush after a traumatic incident irl, this is fiction though and I’m doing it for the drama.

“You don’t have to say anything. You don’t ever have to talk about this with me again if you don’t want to.” Phoenix ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I just want to apologize, a-and if I don’t do it now, I’m not sure I’ll have the courage to do it again.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Wright,” said Edgeworth, to the wall.

one of the first drafts of Phoenix’s part had “You don’t ever have to talk to me again if you don’t want to” which was imo too far; Miles wouldn’t completely abandon Phoenix over this, and also, if Miles wanted to cut off all contact with Phoenix he’d probably just do it. Phoenix is just promising he won’t bring up the conversation again.

Miles thinks he’s about to apologize for not returning Miles’ feelings, which of course isn’t something Phoenix would have to apologize for.

“Yeah, I do.” Phoenix took a deep breath and summoned more courage than he ever had before. “I… I lied to you. When you asked me how I felt.”

Edgeworth turned his head back to him. Phoenix willed himself to not look away, or crack some cheap joke. Just kidding, Edgeworth! I enjoy toying with your emotions! That wouldn’t go over well.

Miles would be well within his rights to cut off all contact with Phoenix if Phoenix DID say “Oh by the way I do love you! haha just kidding! why are you crying.”

And these two being so dedicated to The Truth is why Phoenix focuses the apology more around “I’m sorry that I lied to you” -- also why he was so bothered by the comment Miles made about his honesty throughout chapter 6 and 7.

Edgeworth’s face crossed at least three equally incomprehensible emotions before he asked, “Why?”

The incomprehensible emotions are probably some variation on “am I dead???”

“I…” Phoenix sighed, and admitted, “I don’t know.”

“It would make more sense if it were the other way around,” said Edgeworth, and his expression closed off. “I’m — I’m not misunderstanding, am I?”

Instead of asking if he was misunderstanding, the first draft of this had Miles ask if Phoenix was trying to spare his feelings... but I think Miles would know Phoenix well enough to know that Phoenix would never do that.

Phoenix still hasn’t worked through his Issues and hasn’t outright said that he does love Miles, just that he lied about how he felt - sneaky way to get past the psyche-locks. 

“No, you’re not,” Phoenix insisted, leaning forward. “I didn’t mean what I said back the other day, when I said I didn’t feel the same. I-I just panicked, I think. I knew, already, how you felt, but I never thought you’d say it. I never knew exactly how to read you, then suddenly you’re baring your heart to me, and it was too much.” He realized how close he was to Miles, and started getting out of his chair. “I-It’s a stupid reason. I’m sorry. I-I’ll just go, you don’t have to deal with me right now —”

“Wait.” Edgeworth grabbed his wrist before he could go too far. “Please.”

His grip was gentle but still firm. Phoenix sat back down with superhuman effort.

Phoenix finally realizes that dumping heavy emotions on Miles right now might not be the best idea! But Miles starts processing what’s actually going on and demands answers Right Now. And he initiates physical contact again. I usually try to have it go about when writing these things that if someone refuses physical contact (like Miles does before) they’re the one to initiate it again, just so that no boundaries are broken here.

Edgeworth was silent for a long time. “Always turning things around on me, aren’t you,” he said eventually, in a hoarse whisper.

This line was a fairly last-minute addition! Just imagine it being said in kind of a... exasperated-fond tone of a man who is very much in love but also very tired. “I understand you always want to turn things around on me but did you really have to do it this way, Phoenix,”

Phoenix ducked his head. “I never meant to hurt you. I — I care about you a lot, Miles, and I’m sorry if I screwed things up because I got scared. I want the same thing you do, I just don’t know if I can anymore, it’s been so long and…” He let out some self-deprecating laughter. “Isn’t that stupid? I’m such a coward. I know you, I know you wouldn’t hurt me, not on purpose. But I just can’t…”

So Phoenix hasn’t been in a serious relationship since the Dahlia-Iris debacle in college, which by this point, is fifteen years. And that was traumatizing enough he’s not sure he knows how to navigate a romantic relationship anymore or be vulnerable in that sort of way again.

That “not on purpose” caveat is there because Miles has hurt Phoenix pretty badly before -- not intending to, of course, because I don’t think he thought anyone would really care after the “Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death” note, but he still did anyways.

And since I usually like to plan out what characters are saying when I have them trail off like that... Phoenix’s intention was to say something along the lines of how he can’t get over what happened or whatever this emotional block is that won’t let him express his romantic feelings freely, but can’t find the words for it.

“Don’t you dare put yourself down in front of me.” Edgeworth reached out, slowly, to guide Phoenix’s head upward to meet his eyes. “I… I always thought you were the more… emotional, of the two of us. I’d assumed you weren’t saying anything, before, to give me time to process how I felt. I thought you were just waiting for me to speak up.”

Miles kind of degrades Phoenix often in court but, at least after Turnabout Goodbyes, I was always under the impression it’s just courtroom banter/not letting Phoenix think he’d go easy on him. Judging by the big emotional speeches about Phoenix’s brilliance he tends to give afterwards, there’s no way he actually thinks Phoenix is stupid.

And the rest of that is pretty much giving the reader who has not read these extensive DVD commentaries more insight into Miles’ perspective throughout the fic!

“Guess we got it the other way around,” said Phoenix with a faint laugh. “I-I mean, I used to be that kind of person. Everyone always knew how I felt all the time. It didn’t really… well, you can’t survive long like that.” He placed his free hand over his heart. “I-I’ve got locks, you know that? Black ones. I don’t know for sure why, but I can guess.”

Edgeworth scowled. “Dahlia?”

“Not just her,” said Phoenix. “She — and Iris — they’re not the only ones, you know, who — who I thought betrayed me.”

Edgeworth released Phoenix’s wrist. “Me,” he realized. “You thought I’d betray your trust again.”

Pretty much summary of Phoenix talking about how he used to be the “Feenie” in Turnabout Memories and then the events of the games slamdunked him into the emotional repression zone. ... to put it simply.

And Miles’ hurt at Phoenix pointing out that Miles had betrayed him in the past (referring to the Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death thing, primarily, because Phoenix describes it as a betrayal himself in the games) is less hurt that Phoenix doesn’t trust him and more guilt/anger at himself for having hurt Phoenix in the past to the point it could be comparable with what Dahlia and Iris did.

(Phoenix interprets it as the former, though, in the next paragraph.)

“I know you wouldn’t,” Phoenix clarified, because the brief flicker of hurt across Edgeworth’s face was unbearable. “I trust you to be a good person, and I trust you as my friend, but I… Miles, you left before, and it hurt. A-And let’s be honest, you’ve always been the smarter of the two of us, you’re better looking, you — you’re always fighting for justice, now, for truth, you’re honestly incredible. Why wouldn’t you want to leave me?”

“I trust you to be a good person, and I trust you as my friend, but I don’t trust you not to leave again” is the full version of that sentence, but Phoenix stopped himself because it seemed too cruel to say out loud.

And Phoenix using the word “incredible” here is also a very tiny subtle callback to Miles calling Phoenix incredible back during the original confession in chapter 5!

... I realized looking back on it that in my editing of that confession I accidentally cut out the part where Miles calls Phoenix intelligent during that conversation, shit, and then Phoenix claims that Miles called him intelligent when arguing back, which doesn’t make any sense anymore. Originally when Miles says “surely you figured it out already?” it was a little later and he said something like “surely you figured it out already, with your brilliant mind” but that was overkill so I cut it out but forgot to cut out the intelligence comment! fun how you realize these things so long after publishing! anyways. once more, please ignore that.

THE POINT IS that the things they find attractive about each other tend to be similar because they have very similar values and goals; their fight for truth and justice being a core one.

“I don’t know where you’ve gotten these impressions of me, but you’re wrong,” said Edgeworth, his gaze locking onto Phoenix like he was chasing down a contradiction. “You can be very stupid, when you’re risking your life running into a collapsing building, for instance — but you’re one of the smartest men I know, smarter in ways I’ll never be. I wouldn’t be anywhere on my path to truth if you weren’t there to guide me. And…” A faint sheen of pink covered his face. “I find you extremely handsome. I’m not sure if you know this.”

Phoenix was sure he was turning red. “I don’t know why you would.”

“Any thought suggesting that you’re not good enough for me is wrong,” Edgeworth asserted. “I think it’s the other way around. You’re — you’re brave, you’re good, you’re always so strong despite everything… I admire that about you.”

look I love morosexual miles jokes as much as anyone else, but Phoenix is actually wickedly smart, albeit in an unconventional sort of way -- he’s a very flexible thinker and that can lead him to reach conclusions that Miles didn’t even consider. I found that interesting with investigations that sometimes Miles got so caught up in his logic and assumptions that he’d get stuck, and it was only emulating Phoenix’s thinking that got him out of it.

(Which is why I usually get a little irritated at some characterizations of Phoenix where he’s just completely oblivious in contrast to extremely intelligent Miles... anyways.)

And if my twitter feed is any indication, lots of people find Phoenix Wright attractive... so Miles isn’t alone there.

“But that’s just it, I’m not,” Phoenix argued. “I-I can’t be that. I’m always pretending to be strong, always smiling, for you, for Maya and Pearls, for Trucy… I think I forgot to be anything else. I didn’t want you to need me and then realize I wasn’t up to the task, and leave. Because…” He let out a bit of faint laughter, but there was no joy in it. “That’s always what happens. People need me, then they don’t, and they leave for better things. I wouldn’t ever want to stop them, but the more attached I get, the more it hurts when they leave me behind.”

oof this paragraph was a chore and a half to write because I had to kind of cut to the core of Phoenix’s characterization bits that cause the conflict of this fic, mainly the abandonment areas -- which was why I needed pretty much everyone Phoenix cares about to not be around as much as he’d like, which feels like he’s being left behind, as everyone fulfills their destiny and is happy and he’s just... the same.

which is like a total mood for me approaching the end of my years in university and having no idea what I’m doing with my life while most of my friends are gonna do great things -- but I also think it’s a fairly universal human experience. no one really knows what they’re doing.

But especially for Phoenix because his career was defined by saving a specific person -- in this case Miles, who’s past needing saving and is going on to save other people. Then there was taking care of Maya and Pearls, but Maya is a proper adult now and Pearl is also an adult and they’re living their own independent lives in Kurain Village without needing him. Then Trucy kept him together throughout disbarment but even she’s grown up and leaving to live her own life now. And like I said in the other asks Phoenix tends to fall apart without someone to take care of, and now suddenly he has no one to look after and is questioning his purpose if he’s not taking care of or trying to save someone.

And since so much of his personality is defined by that he kind of gets tired and gets in the mindset of “if they’re just going to leave anyway, why even bother getting attached?” which could have gotten really unhealthy if he’d allowed it to fester for much longer; luckily it got caught and dealt with fairly early with the help of off-screen therapy after this.

Edgeworth was silent for a moment, as if weighing his words. “You don’t have to be strong for me anymore,” he said. “I needed you when I was younger, but… I don’t need you now. That’s not why I’m still here.” 

Phoenix’s breath caught somewhere deep in his chest.

“I just… want you, Phoenix Wright, because I’ve known you for so long, and I’ve loved every part of you I’ve seen.” The lines around his eyes and mouth softened. “I won’t run from the rest. And I don’t want to leave your side, not for long, not for good, whether that’s as a friend or as something else. I am willing to try if you are.”

I really like these lines!! ... though I think I fiddled with the last paragraph a little too much and now it’s a bit too long and it throws off the rhythm a bit but oh well. is rhythm even the right word to use here? idk. 

But basically it’s about their relationship being much healthier now that Miles isn’t dependent on Phoenix for the sake of his own mental health -- he likes the person Phoenix is, even outside of all that Phoenix did for him, and even if Phoenix hadn’t done anything for him, he’d still love Phoenix. (... He’d probably be dead, too, and everything Phoenix did definitely helped his feelings develop, but regardless.)

And it’s also kind of what Phoenix needs to hear right now, because hey, Phoenix, people don’t stick around because you help them out; they stick around because they like you! And this applies to pretty much everyone Phoenix cares about (which Trucy says in her letter) but Miles is speaking on his feelings specifically since this is the Romance moment.

And the last line kind of enforces a “even if this relationship doesn’t work out, I still don’t want to leave your side, even if we’re only friends,” plus Miles comes down a bit from his dramatic all-or-nothing “I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU” speech and to a more reasonable “I’m willing to put effort and time into making this relationship romantic if you are as well”.

so maybe the rejection did him some good after all.

“Miles,” Phoenix whispered.

“If you want me…” He took a deep breath and rested one hand, palm up, beside Phoenix. “If you want me, I am here. And even if you don’t, I’m not going anywhere. It’s as I said before. I’m done running away.”

We don’t get into Miles’ head so I don’t get to explore his thoughts as much as I do Phoenix’s (which is why so much of these DVD commentaries are just What Is Going On With Miles Edgeworth since (I hope!) I conveyed Phoenix’s thoughts sufficiently in the actual fic. But this conversation is probably taking a lot out of him emotionally, too. He has no idea what he’s doing. I tried to convey that a bit with his actions with him thinking things over carefully and taking deep breaths to kind of brace himself into making a move.

And his words are once again affirming the “even if you don’t want to be romantically involved with me, I’ll still be by your side as a friend”, because their relationship is so important to both of them, they wouldn’t want anything coming in between that.

Phoenix extended his hand, brushing his fingertips against Miles’ palm. The sensation was the only thing that made him sure this wasn’t a dream.

“I’ve been chasing after you my whole life,” said Phoenix, scarcely able to breathe. “I don’t know what to do if I’ve caught up.”

shameless title reference. I struggled so much with this title I was lying in bed the last day of June like “screw it, the catch-up game??? Sounds catchy enough???” and threw it on there. This is my approach to most of my titles. Either I have a title in my head from the outset (Deep Dark Secrets, Fifty Flights of Stairs) or I make it up at the last possible minute.

“Well, you have.” Miles’ hand shifted, but it was only to thread their fingers together, tight and reassuring. “I don’t know either. We’ll figure it out together, as we do with everything else.”

Phoenix lifted his head to meet those familiar grey eyes, mirroring the fear and anticipation and the giddy, almost child-like excitement in his own, and he smiled. “Yeah. I think I can try that.”

neither of them know what they’re doing but together they can accomplish anything!! is the vibe I wanted to go with. Honestly the way that they can work together to do anything they put their minds to and create miracles in court is one of the things I love so much about this ship. They complement each other so well and have so much faith and trust in each other that they make the perfect duo. Like two halves of the same whole. about the closest thing you can get to actual soulmates.

Anyways that’s the scene! Hope both you anons enjoyed it haha. This is one of the big emotional conflict resolution scenes (the other being Trucy’s letter later) so it’s got lots of stuff to talk about, so thank you!!

[thekriseffect]

A New Beginning (Estela x MC)

[Note: It’s been a while since I’ve posted any of my work on here. I’ve had a lot of change happen in the last few months and just needed time to catch up with it all. That being said, I haven’t given up on writing my fics nor have I forgotten about the requests that have been sitting and collecting dust (for forever, it seems like) in my inbox. I’m officially back on track so keep those asks coming! I love talking to all you lovely readers. Also, I’ve added in some song titles to some of my stories, like this one, in case anyone is interested in where my inspiration came from! Also also, I’ve been entertaining the thought of fleshing out Leith and Estela’s story by writing an actual chapter by chapter, full story fanfiction based off of them. Just an idea.]

[Summary: After the events on La Huerta, Leith struggles to re-adapt to the new seemingly ordinary world where only he knows the truth. It sounds a lot more angsty than it really is, I swear.]

[Song Inspiration: The End of The World- Clinton Shorter]

It seemed an impossible thought: that the world could go on despite everything that had happened to it. That life could go back to the way it was before without so much as a scar left behind as a chilling reminder. That everyone would be oblivious to what they had been put through while being forced residents on La Huerta’s unsettling shores, brushing the events away as if they had never happened in the first place. Like a nightmare you could shake off the following morning after a large cup of hot coffee. Everyone but him.

It’s a time he knows he’ll never be able to forget, no matter how ordinary things currently seem. Experiences like that just don’t go away because the world looks bright and shiny and new again. The memories still chase his thoughts a majority of the time and more than once he’s had to stop himself from doing something rash on instinct. After months of living day by day, hour by hour, well… old habits die hard, to say the least.

It’s a good thing that they don’t have to remember. It makes things easier. They laugh and experience and live in a world where the dark times don’t hover over their heads like giant black rain clouds. Genuine happiness and optimism is all he sees when he happens to cross paths with one of them, which is more than he could have ever hoped for. They’re his best friends. His family. They deserve this second chance. If him having to remember so they don’t is the price to pay then it’s worth it.

It’s a good thing that they didn’t remember, is what he keeps reminding himself. Particularly at this moment as he sits in Hartfield’s crowded library at one of its worn rounded tables, staring at the dark haired girl that’s hunched over a textbook at the opposite side of the room.

It’s the first time he’s seen her here in this world. Only a few short weeks have passed since the change but it might as well have been years for him. Three very slow weeks of living life safe and ordinarily. He’s been bored out of his mind. So much so that an uninvited guest, doubt, had worked its way into his overstimulated thoughts, tricking himself into believing that he’d never get the chance to meet her again. A final parting gift from the island.

She’s kept a low profile since the beginning of the new quarter, just as he knew she would. Blending into her surroundings by never standing out, never being too bold but just bold enough to keep people from making the mistake of forgetting her. But nothing, not even her own persistence, could keep him from noticing her. He wills her to look up, for even a second. Just once.

She doesn’t. Instead focusing on the life in front of her and not the distant dream she can never remember that’s sitting a few tables away, ogling her like the heartbroken fool that he is.

He sighs.

“Leith?” Diego’s voice cuts through his thoughts as he nudges him with his elbow. “You listening?”

“Not really,” Leith says honestly.

His best friends gaze follows his. “You know, the best way to solve that problem is by going and talking to her instead of staring at her like some creep.” Diego pats him on the shoulder. “Just saying.”

Leith’s lips twitch as he reaches for the strap of his backpack. “Thanks for those wise words, Master Yoda.”

“Do… or do not. There is no try,” Diego jokes while shoving him forward. “I’ll see you at the dorm later. Try not to embarrass yourself too much.”

“No promises.”

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Leith asks, motioning to the vacant seat in front of him as he stands next to her table.

Her gaze flicks up to him briefly before returning to the book and messy handwritten note sheets laid out below. “I guess not.”

“Thanks.” He drops his backpack on the thread-bared carpet noisily before flopping down into the wooden chair. It groans as he leans forward to gaze down at one of her many textbooks scattered across the tabletop. “Introducing Archaeology by Robert J. Muckle.” He nods, “Seems fitting.” She raises an eyebrow at him questioningly. “I just mean that it’s an interesting study fit for an interesting person. You’ve got this mysterious vibe going on. I like it.”

She scribbles something out of her notepad harshly but doesn’t look up. “Maybe it’s just with you.”

He pretends to think about it. “Maybe. But I don’t think so.”

She turns her head to read one of her papers and he manages to catch a first real glimpse of her face. Same dark intelligent eyes, same high cheekbones and strong jawline. Same hardness to her expression though not nearly as closed off as before. The caution is still there, it just isn’t paired with harsh intentions fueled by unwavering determination anymore.

He notes that the scar that once ran across the right side of her face, starting from the corner of her eyebrow traveling down her cheek and stopping just above her mouth is missing. Without it she almost looks like an ordinary college student. Almost.

“What made you want to study Archaeology? Or is it something you’ve always known you wanted to do?”

“No, it isn’t something I’ve always wanted to do,” she answers flatly, leaving the rest of the question to hang unanswered in the air around them.

“By the mountain of books you’ve got stacked here that challenges even Everest itself, I’m guessing it’s a demanding field of study. Though there’s definitely worse things you could’ve gone with.”

She doesn’t answer and instead flips the page of her well-used textbook while continuing to believe that if she pretends to act like he doesn’t exist it might actually come true.

The silence that surrounds them is uncomfortable to say the least. It makes Leith’s fingers twitch uneasily on the armrest of his chair. He hates awkward silences. Hates them. He’d rather face a dozen Cetus’ at once than be forced to sit in a situation without knowing what to say or do. So on instinct he begins twirling one of his pencils from finger to finger over and over again, an anxious, long-term habit he formed over the years, as he continues to voice anything that happens to pop into his head. “So do you like going to Hartfield?”

Her pen drops quickly from her clenched fist with a sigh as she straightens. “Do you ever stop talking?” She asks him.

“Nope. I’ve been told it’s one of my many redeeming qualities.”

“Right,” she rolls her eyes. “Redeeming.” Her body goes back to folding into itself, closing off from her surroundings while trying to make herself as small as possible.

He can feel her building up walls against him. Each one thicker than the last like he’s some random insignificant stranger to her, which he technically is. The thought makes him flinch. “You just… seem like someone worth knowing, is all. Someone momentous.”

She blinks up at him as her expression shifts from indifferent to curious within the blink of an eye, as if seeing him truly for the first time. “What makes you say that?”

Her look makes his heart skip nervously. He’s said the wrong thing, he realizes. Too much. He can feel the suspicion growing between them the longer she studies him. It’s one of her talents, seeing the real meaning hidden underneath even the most carefully constructed words. It’s something that first drew him in to her. Something that makes her, her. Though right now he really wishes that wasn’t the case.

Unanswered questions swim in her sable irises as she stares him down. Questions he can’t answer. So he breaks their connection instead and shrugs as if to belittle his words.

“Just an observation, I guess. Most people live their entire lives only seeing what they want to see while pretending everything else doesn’t exist. But you take everything in, the good as well as the bad. And you learn from it. You see everything,” he tells her. “It’s an amazing quality to have. I think more people should be like you.” Her eyes soften slightly and a rare tiny smile curves her lips, something he’s missed so much it nearly takes his breath away. “Plus I’m just good at reading people,” Leith adds.

The smile widens. “Oh is that right?”

“Mhm,” he grins. “It’s what made me want to pursue Profiling. The thrill, the mystery, the hidden answers.”

“The unwelcome probing,” she adds, though that familiar glint in her eyes weakens the meaning of her words.

He smirks at her and holds out his hand. “My name’s Leith Masters.”

She locks eyes with him as her look narrows questioningly until she finally reaches forward to close the space between them. His hand burns as their palms brush and his fingers tingle as her own curl firmly around them. “I’m Estela.”

Pieces begin to realign. Her smiles and quips and teasing healing the cracks that threaten to break him apart from the inside. Slowly he feels his loneliness begin to fade from severe into tolerable. Breathing becomes lighter like a weight has been lifted off from crushing down onto his chest. Vision becoming brighter and more vivid, focusing more steadily on his surroundings instead of living in constant fog like before. Heart pounding stronger beneath his ribs.

He needs this, needs her, to survive. She might not remember it but that doesn’t make it any less true. There is no him without her. This isn’t their end, just a different version of their beginning. A new start.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Estela…”

[sparda3g]

Attack on Titan Chapter 104 Review

I thought we have already seen all crazy and intense moments of the arc. I was wrong. This chapter doesn’t hold back on the possibilities to get the job done; even if it is done by the cruelest way possible. It is drawing near to the end of the massacre that Eren and Survey Corps brought to their home. It was another intense chapter that had me exhilarated to the very end.

At last, we finally got to see Armin’s Colossal Titan form, though it’s largely similar to Bertolt’s version. I believe it is larger than his though, judging by the drawn angle shot, but I can’t confirm. It makes sense that it won’t have a massive makeover since it’s basically a human body without any flesh. Even so, the devastating presence still leaves a bone-chilling impression.

The significant part of this scene is how Armin feels really uncomfortable with the destruction he and his friends have caused. It is true that they have killed many humans before; however, this is far different for it involves with normal citizens from another country. It’s not self-defense; it’s collateral damage. It’s always neat how Isayama dissect the effect of war differently for each arcs with different characters. Armin also feels sympathetic towards Bertolt for he had to kill as many as this Titan. It proves that everyone is/was human and their action scarred their mind.

One of the most anticipated outcomes was with Jean and Falco in a very tough situation. I have to admit, I was afraid to read this because the possibility of someone’s death with couple of paths to choose from. The way how it builds up was getting to me really bad, like “Who will die?!” It turns out that Isayama didn’t kill anyone off as Jean misses his shot. It sparks a new question on whether Jean missed because of sympathy or the steam from the dying Cart Titan that navigated the spear. This may lead to inner conflict of killing innocent lives or leaving them to be the next threat; which somewhat ties in with Armin’s early scene well.

The good news is Pieck survives; the bad news is she’s in a horrible state. When Falco pulled her out of the titan, I thought he pulled her head and spine only; her hair and blood splattered spots deluded my eyes. Still, she looks awful, nearly thought she’s already dead. Luckily, Falco and Gabi escape with her, thanks to Magath and other soldiers. It’s crazy how much of a hero vibe they’re having yet they’re technically the villain; it’s called humanity.

While the action takes place next, I want to continue with those two kids scene where they are hiding inside a building for shelter. Following up with Pieck’s condition, it’s no doubt that she is done with this battle. The only question left is will she survive to see another day as her recovery is taking a long time. I believe she will survive, so the fans could take a deep breath. The true purpose of the scene is the whereabouts of Reiner.

It’s hard to judge Falco’s decision in this tight situation because he acknowledged that Reiner can’t fight in his current state yet he believes that they shouldn’t disturb him. On one hand, it’s admirable to respect him as a person like he needs a time alone to ease his mind or whatever that overly stressed him. On the other hand, they can’t afford to let him remain immobile when he’s the Armored Titan and he could greatly benefit to the battle right now. It’s like there’s no time to let him rest when they are out there suffering and losing lives.

The airship made an appearance during the moment with Armin finishing his job to wipe out the fleet. Now, it arrives to the active battlefield, which is what those light signals were for in the early chapters. It coordinately lines up like it was ready for an airplane to make its landing. It’s basically a signal call for Survey Corps to make their retreat, which means this battle is close to ending. It has been intense, so I don’t mind a cool down.

Hange makes her time-skip debut and much like Levi, not much really has changed, though she is sporting the new uniform. I guess the veterans don’t change at all while the former rookies get makeover. The tension is that they only have one shot at this and everyone must make this only attempt to retreat; otherwise, they will be shot down. This gives a sensation that something wrong will occur and it could be one member being taken out before reaching to the airship. It certainly gave me a lot to look forward with this rising tension and stake.

We get an intense Titan battle. Porco lost his temper after witnessing his comrades being taken out; not even knowing if they are alive right now. It engages him to attack Eren head-on and he was matching up well.  The devastation was captivating; capturing the intensity of two Titans in a heated battle very well. Jaw is actually pretty damn frightening to mess with because it can chomp down an armored hand like a soft candy. The claws are no joke as well; it can freaking slash the crystal that Tybur lady is resting in and actually leaves a mark. I thought we saw everything from Jaw but when used correctly, it’s terrifying. Eren was struggling, but this would give him a brilliant yet heartless idea.

After the scene with the airship arriving for extraction, Porco did well for taking on Eren, but sadly, his mind was all over the place for vengeance in which will ultimately pay the heavy price. Because of the sight for his enemy to escape, he didn’t think anything else but kill them without carefully check his area. It’s too late now, as Mikasa takes out his legs; similar to what she did back when dealing with Armored Titan. Then we have this scene.

I know the series has plenty of brutality for a Shounen no less; however, I believe this has to be the most brutal way to defeat your enemy. It’s smart no doubt, but good God almighty, this was purely messed up. Eren takes Jaw Titan and uses its jaw to crush none other than the crystal. In other words, use your enemy to crush your other enemy; force him to be a murderer of his comrade. Wow…This whole scene was bone-chilling and rightfully so.

The sensation of this one moment is not only a slow victory for Eren but the large amount of regrets is coming in for Porco for costing War Hammer Titan against his will. It slowly takes the time as he is slowly pleading to stop, but with Eren, no amount of care is given. The crystal shattering is a clever way to illustrate her as a crushed body into pieces without resorting to graphic imagery. Either way, she is crushed and the War Hammer Titan is now in Eren’s possession. That was so painful; dare I say, physically painful to watch it.

Probably my absolute favorite scene is the rise of Reiner to do one act that blurs the line of good and evil. It got to the point that Eren really look like a total heel or villain with how he is annihilating them in the most brutal manner. I know, this is war and understandably so, but the imagery is rather staggering. I can throw this chapter to a newcomer and they will say, “This Eren guy is such a monstrous villain.” Porco was about to be killed, but what lead to next is the imagery of a rising hero.

It is amazing Isayama managed to swap the position of who will get a heroic act in the midst of massacre. Gabi cries for Reiner to help for he is the only one to save him. Falco joins in later on, basically submitted because they are really in need of help right now. Reiner was still sleeping but conscious to know they’re calling for him. It’s very telling that he doesn’t want to help but the more they cry, he finally begins to rise up and manages to turn into Armored Titan. It wasn’t completed, but it was good enough to pull one act.

Despite his words described as depressing, the fact he did shift to a Titan does speak volumes. Remember, he wanted to kill himself really badly, but he said that the kids are his reason to not give in the temptation. This basically readdresses that since he did shift. Those kids were the ones crying; who knows if the outcome would be the same if it was with others. It does give Reiner a purpose in life as he was cheered like a savior; something that he felt he doesn’t deserve, especially if you based off of his recent flashback. This was really nicely addressed.

The best part is what could have been Eren versus Reiner Round 3, only it is done for one final strike. I was all fired up when he woke up, so when they were about to exchange punches, I was marking out alas going nuts. The tension was running high and it ends with Reiner getting punched out, losing his jaw. Oddly enough, he retrieves the Jaw Titan from Eren. That was just astonishing, because Reiner didn’t bother to fight, rather put his comrade first and retrieve him. This does paint Eren to be the villain of the scenario completely. Newcomers would think Reiner is the protagonist that not only got cheered for like a hero but even pull a heroic act. That’s fantastic.

Eren is finally out of strength and notes that he and Reiner will meet again. It may be early to call, but to me, that basically translate that there will be a round 3 between them. I wonder if I should root for Reiner if Eren continue to act this way. Everyone is retreating, which means we can finally rest from this mayhem. Nope. Gabi is not letting that go by easily, though I don’t blame her.

What this chaos essentially done to her is to be clouded with vengeance. It’s kind of funny because if I recall correctly, she was designed after Eren but as a female instead. In other words, if you associate with Eren, your mind will be nothing but revenge. Joking aside, it does set the tone that the chain of vengeance can pass around by your action and Gabi is the victim. It ends with her going out to take a shot; unlike the last chapter, something big may happen with Gabi. It could end with a fluke like this one, but I think we are in for something going wrong. Oh man…

I got to say, the artwork and paneling has been some of the best Isayama has put out in recent memory. The atmosphere was intense as it should be. The sequence of the action was exhilarating. The moment of breaking the crystal was unnerving and quite shocking to some extent. Something about it gave me serious chills; probably the reaction and slow build to the breakdown got me worked up. The part with Reiner getting up and confront Eren was gratifying; it wasn’t meant to be a battle but damn, I got hyped.

This was yet another intense chapter that Isayama keeps on delivering. It’s going to cool down really soon, but I believe we are in need for one. The action was intense, the tension was running wild, and it was all around riveting from start to finish. The mystery from the last chapter hasn’t been unveiled, including with Zeke. After Gabi takes a shot, whether it leads to more dilemmas or not, we are going to have a lot of time to process this through.