#but it's difficult... it's so difficult
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everything is super uncertain and scary right now, so i'm trying very hard to not think about the future and just focus on the things that i want to happen. the concrete things.
i want to be in a space of my own that's clean and safe where i am surrounded by objects that are beautiful or meaningful to me. i want to be in a body that feels natural, a body that i can love instead of tolerate. i want my friends to be a short train or a bus ride away. i want to make art and write stories. i want to go on long walks in the summer and look at the animals and flowers. i want to sleep in a tent by the river. i want to make good food for myself and for the people i care about. i want to have a job i don't hate that pays me enough - not lots, just enough - that i can afford to be independent without constantly panicking over money. i want to feel at peace with where i am instead of agonising over where i'm not.
all of these things are achievable. maybe not all at the same time, maybe i can just have a couple of them, but they are achievable. i will not always feel this way. i will not always be trapped like i am now.
#i got crushingly sad the other day because i went for a walk in the park#and all the cherry blossom was out and the flowers were blooming everywhere and there were birds and it was beautiful#and i knew i should be enjoying it but all i felt was this desperate debilitating panic#about the fact that it was winter and is now spring and time is passing and my life has not changed from where it was a year ago#i thought of this and i nearly wept at how much i am wasting my life#i'm trying so hard to just savour things as they come to me instead of wishing everything was different#but it's difficult... it's so difficult#i just want to feel free
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Saw people talking about how crt screens get wonky when you put magnets against them and thought that was super fun! Tenna I love putting you in situations
#this is my first time making a colored comic of this size so I’m sorry if it’s difficult to read or if there’s any mistakes#this was a very fun learning experience though!#if you have any tips PLEASEEE feel free to tell me! I’d love to get better at making comics <3#deltarune#deltarune chapter 3#deltarune fanart#deltarune tenna#tenna deltarune#mr tenna#spamtenna#spamton#spamton g spamton#this is very ooc but I don’t even care they r like Barbie dolls to me
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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a project I finally got around to finishing!! the mane 6, inspired by their earlier generation counterparts, within a medieval fantasy style setting. please don't repost without permission! you just need to ask.
some fun facts:
fluttershy is half unicorn here!! that's why she has the deer-like build and slightly long tail.
rarity is half horse
applejack is fully just a horse.
pinkie and rainbow are the only true ponies
their jobs (in the order shown in the lineup) are royal messenger, royal jester, royal menagerie keeper, royal tailor, royal orchard farmer and Queen Celestia's Most Specialest Student.
in this au, they all met due to working within the castle grounds.
in this au, celestia is queen, luna is still banished, and twilight is discouraged from making friends as it distracts her from her studies. she is celestia's heir and grew up in the castle.
they are all marekissers. lol. also rarity is transfem and rainbow is bigender.
#mlp#my little pony#worked SO hard on these I hope you guys like them!!!!#sorry about the watermarks. not taking any chances with these ones I spent hours on them#most of these were finished MONTHS ago. it was just fluttershy I had to finish#mlp fanart#mlp au#my little pony au#mlp g1#mlp g3#horse#pony#unicorn#pegasus#fantasy#yes the wings were heavily referenced. why is feather placement so difficult man#beastwhimsy#medieval mlp#medieval mlp art#mlp medieval#there have been a LOT of people whose ideologies make me deeply uncomfortable reblogging this lately#so. I have added some details at the end of this post. to hopefully dissuade them from reblogging. if I'm lucky#trans exclusionists this post is not for you.
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𝐈𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐈’𝐦 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞.
excerpts from a book I’ll never write
#aesthetic#poetry#poets corner#writing#poets on tumblr#quotes#art#life#poem#poetscommunity#spilled writing#spilled poetry#spilled words#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#in another universe#maybe in another life#i’m sorry#past quotes#love quotes#pain quotes#relationship#friendship#difficult people#hurt/comfort#i’m so tired#emotions#mental health#sad poetry#poems and quotes
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my favorite pieces from 2024
#artists on tumblr#thank you so much for all the support this year#it's been a rough one for so many i know#the fact that people still have the energy to care about my art#and support independent creators#makes me so happy#wishing the very best for all of you#if it's been a difficult year know you're not alone in that#hopefully next year will be kinder#spend time with your loved ones and cherish them#take time for the things you enjoy#if you're able to
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It's Make A Terrible Comic Day again
#makeaterriblecomicday2025#hello hope you've been well#tbh drawing has been difficult for me lately so it's nice to have permission to just draw something as fast as I can#without thinking too much about what it looks like#harboretum comics
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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Two Sides Of the Same Coin
#jayvik#viktor arcane#jayce talis#arcane#arcane art#i'm sorry for not drawing the location and some things accurately#it was all for the sake of composition#and my own sake bc i love longe haired Viktor design sm#had a lot of fun with this one#it was insanely difficult#but had fun#their love language is nerding out so here they are nerding out#las!art
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I needed them to un-divorce or I would cry
#doctorsiren#deltarune#spamtenna#spamton#tenna#deltarune spoilers#deltarune fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#comic#ignore how inconsistently Spamton is sized LMAO#this to me takes place after Susie gets him fixed but before he gets arms (pretend that’s a time that happens LMAO)#I drew this after we did our Ch3 playthrough but before we started CH4 so I had no idea he was just fine instantly LMAO#well I mean I sketched it all out before we started ch4 and I wasn’t gonna redo it haha#THEY MAKE ME SO ILL OUGHH#he has the ring on his nose like how unicorns in MLP have rings on their horns or whatever HAIUHIDO#darn you Toby Fox for making Spamton so difficult to write dialogue for HAHA
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Gives him a shop sprite. as a treat
#box art#ramb#deltarune ramb#ramb deltarune#deltarune#deltarune chapter 3#deltarune chapter 3 spoilers#deltarune spoilers#boxes plays deltarune#boxes gameplay#spoilers#dskjgdskgdsg this is difficult.#i was reading his overworld sprite as him cleaning out a cup like a bartender. but its vague so who knows
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funniest adhd thing is when you're like ugh. doing this simple task would be too hard. guess i'll do a difficult one instead
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Problem #1 regarding child abuse is that a lot of people seem to struggle to imagine normal, respectable-looking parents and other authority figures ever doing it despite the statistics so instead they do the stranger danger panic and completely overlook some of the greatest threats.
Problem #2 is that even when people understand, even if in an abstract way, that parents can be abusive they just... don't seem to actually register that as something that can apply to real life. It's just hypothetical to them and doesn't actually guide their ideas of how to prevent child abuse.
Problem #3 is that even after overcoming the above biases a lot of people have a very narrow image of what abusive parenting is where they imagine like... people doing violent things basically out of sadism and without provocation. They don't seem to think it's "real" abuse if the victim did something that "justifies" punitive violence, like disobeying the parents.
In fact, most people think parents have a right to do a whole lot of awful things to their children beyond just hitting them, like violating their privacy, controlling their access to information, and deciding what/when/if they eat, among other things.
#not the only problems but it's just so much more difficult than it should be to get people to even acknowledge parents abuse children a lot#child abuse#100#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k#10k
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did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back
#fascinating stuff. let’s see if i (person with the worst executive dysfunction when it comes to doing laundry) remember it#i literally have this issue where i’ll let dirty clothes pile up in the laundry basket for an entire month#like it takes me that long to get around to it#and then- who would’ve thought- i find that i don’t have anything good to wear. strange!#finally did it last night and i’m like ohhh that was so difficult but the payoff finally#augh#peach rambles#hall of fame i guess#shut up about socks. idc.#this was a fun positivity post of sorts it’s about overcoming executive dysfunction#derailing into jokes about losing socks is. it’s not horrible but just boring and annoying#it was supposed to be celebration!! and encouragement!!!
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🌙 the 212th night
#obitine#codywan#cobitine#obiwan kenobi#obiwan “two hands” kenobi“#satine kryze#commander cody#ough this on was really difficult...#haven't drawn them in so long....
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