#but know i cannot shake it off
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Does anyone else get Wattpad vibes from this picture??
#it's like the cover of some crazy racing friends to enemies to lovers stuff#i didn't thought of it until I started typing the song I had stuck in my mind all day with this photo (out of context) on my gc#but know i cannot shake it off#fernando alonso#lance stroll#aston martin f1#f1#wattpad cover#helmets!
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Fantober day 31!! A free day again.
Recently gotten into HADES, and I think about them a normal amount (lie)
#THEM. THEM. *SHAKES HANDS IN AIR* THEEEEEEEMMM#Honestly it’s surprising I havent gotten into the fandom sooner I mean I have been a mythology nerd since??? Uhhh#idk. But every week I see a notif from OSP and jump around in my room because YEAAAHHHH HYSTORY MYTHOS AND TROPES YEAHHHHH#And greek mythology is where the interest began so why am I only NOW getting onto the Hades train only god knows. Maybe multiple. They got#a whole pantheon so idk maybe multiple ON THE OTHER HAND they didn’t know about their own relative OR who his mom is so maybe I give them#too much credit#jkjk jk Zeus dont smite me I listen to ‘’Thunder bringer’’ a lot plz#speaking of epic the musical thats what I wanted to draw originality because HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY?#THE ANIMATICSSSS THE ANIMATICCCSSS THE 3D CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. ODYSSEUS CASUALLY GETTING A JETPACK 💀 okay go off king /gen#HE GOTTA BE DANGEROUS MY FRIENDS GOTTA USE ALL HIS TRICKS IN HIS DOMAIN FOR THIS OH YEAH YOU CANNOT GET AWAY WITH PLAYING- okay I’ll stop#but we need a Hermes saga Im just saying. I love he. He’s such a dawling#…Also not me healing the ivantill trauma with a different silverhair+blackhair duo huh.#They bring me comfort I love my silly goofy god of nothing/blood and his boyfriend THE GRIM REAPER#my art#thanzag#they make me insane but in a good way#oh to be a guy trying to escape his dads house and then die to a butterfly and hopefully see death himself because he’s cute#hades game#hades fanart#hades zagreus#hades thanatos
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Sometimes I hate getting attached to fictional characters because I never just like them normally. No no, instead I have to be plagued by them. I have to suffer through the emotional torment of thinking of them 24/7. Like why am I crying over a fictional man.
HE'S NOT REAL 😭
#fandom#star wars#this is about boba fett btw#in case you were wondering#i mean it can be applied to litteraly any character#but its about boba fett#like i just wanna like him a normal REASONABLE amount#but no no no#he gets dedicated sketchbook spreads and long 3 am rants about his sad little life that i send to all my friends#i know they wake in fear of long paragraphs snd wonder if its gonna be insightful lore about Oc's or me just off my rocker again#for a man who gets#less than 10????#minutes of screen time in the original trilogy mind you#i am shaking him around kn my teeth like a feral dog. i am enraged. i am LOSING it#he makes me insane#i cannot do this#ANYWAY#boba fett
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sometimes I get weirdly self-conscious or worried about someone recognizing my username on a fic, either for kudos or a comment, and I’m like, ‘oh no, what if they hate my taste and think I’m weird 🥺”
and then I remember “what were YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament? 🤨” and leave a kudos and comment
#this has always been a concern bc I’m unnecessarily self conscious in stupid ways#but also the lack of privacy and the function of algorithms on other sites hasn’t made it easier to shake that off#like I could never indulge in fandom stuff on insta like i do on tumblr bc 1) it actively shows posts that your following liked#and 2) I do NOT want my beloved friends and family to know I’m watching stobotnik edits#shoutout to lightoflothal_ on ig. I cannot interact like I want bc my 15 yo brother does NOT need to know me like that.#tumblr is different. we’re all here on purpose bc we’re freaks in the same way.
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wrote out plans and stared at my calendar, putting my hands together and mutter a quiet "you do need a break"
#i am#insanely bad at time management#ive been actively burnt out since 2025 i think#i have the mindset and ideas as the 19 y/o me but energy and productivity of late 20s#meaning. my current hands and energy can't keep up the expectations and hype of the better past me#but both of me hope. and that's where it's going downhill#LMAO#I talked with my mom#very hard talk. lots of tears involved. but I just gotta work harder#its a weird feeling bcuz im actively sabotaging and healing myself what the hell man#really /really/ need to shake off the guilt of doing nothing and the habit of doing everything so i don't feel like im lagging behind#it feels like im being swallowed every day#idk what doing but i know what im doing#im self aware but im not enough#GRAH#long story short. im going to FORCE MYSELF to let go a few things and take shit one step at a time#AND STOP. JOINING. MORE. OBLIGATIONS.#burnt the contract and prob pissed off my boss but we balling#i think i just dont want to feel#dont want everything to catch up#but that just leads to accumulation and when i do stop and pause everything just crash over#with an intensity that i cannot bear but have to sit it through#being in 20s is weird....i thought it would be easier...in same capacity it is but other times no....#doesn't help with the *gesture* current state of things too#im sorry i dont mean to vent but. im. idk just felt like sharing#to more people than i should bcuz duh its gomz#ASDHGK#anyways i will now forget about this by inhaling my sushi plate#having inari set :3#gummmyspeaks
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fastest way to make me go insane would be finding out pete's powers are empathy/the ability to read other people's feelings or general emotional state by touching them, and that being the reason he hesitates before shaking way's hand the first time they meet, and why it's so important he touches him so many times and so softly and with such tenderness in their subsequent meetings. because just like jeff tries to keep out of people's future by keeping his distance from everyone, pete tries to keep out of their present.
#as always no spoilers please#pit babe#pit babe the series#do i think that will happen? no bc i cannot be right all of the time#also he didn't hesitate to shake alan's hand on their first meeting which makes this theory moot#at least the more extreme version of this theory ig lol bc he could have just been caught off guard by way#and he just has to mentally prepare himself before touching people? idk#but it may have just been bc it was his crush's hand (lol) or bc of way's powers which he must have known about#i need to know more about what pete knows and how and how long has he known about way#please my family is dying
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Me,12 writing essays: God when will I ever need it in my life?
Me, now comparing Scum Villains Self Saving System with Deep Sea Embers in my head even though I hadn't finished both because one(1) dynamic was similar enough: 😬
#Deep Sea Embers#scum villain's self saving system#svsss#I'm talking about YQY with SJ#and Ghoathead with original Captain Duncan#To be clear I hadn't finished either so I may be completely wrong#but c'mon guys#Both of them know or at least heavily suspect in YQY's case that the person they knew and liked was taken over by some unknown entity and#they both can't do shit about it#they both ignore it to the best of abilities#in YQY's case bc he hopes that he's wrong(at lest that's how I'm reading it)#in Goatheads case he will die if he doesn't try to blend in(I think?)#They both have extensive history with the Original owner of the body#And they both pretend to be more harmless than they are to the new owner of the body#YQY with his big brother energy#Goathead with his talkativnes so New!Duncan doesn't catch on that he knows(I think? again only got to the part where we found out that goath#head knows)#I'm not gonna compare Captain Duncan with SJ bc I know jackshit about the former#but the narrative weight they both have are similar#by that I mean the hunting#SJ appears in every relationship SY has bc it was originally his relationship#Og!Duncan appears in the form of the scary reputation that Duncan cannot shake off#Also SY and Duncan both recived high statuses and power due to transmigration and needed to grasp a hold of them#Could be wrong I reiterate that I hadn't finished both#maybe I come back to it once I do
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I'm sorry but the complete and utter lack of appreciation on the internet for the 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice is just absurd. WHERE IS YOUR ENTHUSIASM. WHERE IS YOUR APPRECIATION FOR SUPERBLY-CRAFTED MEDIA. Sure, the 2005 one is fine. Whatever. But the 1995 one??? HELLO???
'95 Mr. Darcy is the biggest simp on the face of the Earth and I will hear no objection to the contrary. My guy spent the first three episodes doing nothing but whining about how dumb and lame everybody was except for him 20% of the time and just staring at Lizzy like a big stupid idiot the other 80% of the time. My guy invented yearning.
My guy yearned so bad he finally bothered to do the self-reflection he'd never cared to do before when she eviscerated him to such a degree because she wouldn't stoop to marrying someone for whom she had not a shred of respect. My guy yearned so bad he was willing to risk his station in life, his livelihood, literally everything just to save her family from ruin, something he would never have dreamed of doing in the beginning of the show. My guy yearned so bad he recognized his deepest flaws and put in the work to change them and become a better person not so that she'd give him what he wanted, but because he realized she was right and that he was in the wrong and needed to make those changes literally just in order to actually have a happy and fulfilling life.
My guy literally created "I love my wife so bad I'm gonna explode and she could kill me on the spot and I'd thank her for the opportunity to be involved"-ism and you people ought to show more gratitude for him singlehandedly altering fandom culture.
#pride and prejudice#2005 darcy is fine. he's fine. but he does not do The Look like colin firth does and it's not even close.#shakes you by the shoulders listen to me. do you know the piano scene. do you know it. i think it's in episode 3 if i'm not mistaken.#whichever scene it is where georgiana's playing the piano and singing and lizzy's standing next to her.#and he's just watching. he's literally just watching her. he's not doing anything and neither is she. BUT THE DADGUM LOOK ON HIS FACE#I COULD WRITE A 60-PAGE DISSERTATION ON THAT SCENE ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#he's also literally the only man in the history of the world who's ever actually managed to carry off sideburns which is saying something#though that is less pertinent to the overall point#but WHATEVER. i am a '95 p&p defender and will be until the day i die#i did not bring it up here because this is intended to be a '95 darcy appreciation post but i love love love love love '95 lizzy so much to#jennifer ehle just frickin' smashed it dude. i cannot even. she is PERFECT MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM#but i will go into that another time. ta-ta
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Day 104 | id in alt
*Kugisaki voice* Itadori, your mom is a fucking freak.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#kenjaku#my extension#geto suguru#Kenjaku going down to get a new favorite one of Itadori's friends since junpei died#She likes the ones that are just a little wack#im sorry that motherly shit cannot be extracted#immediately started shaking the nearest kid and the favoritism shined through#treating a random ass girl decently by kenjaku standards than choso bc i think its funny#plus gege just got scared by how many interactions Kugisaki could make interesting i just find it funny#this one is for my one mutual. and the fact i kinda wanted to see what drawing kenjaku would be like#gege fumbled the bag but i dont plan on not grabbing the bag myself#gege dosent know how to properly write a fucked up mother#contrary to popular belief#i do enjoy kenjaku talking and i think xey should talk more actually we haven't milked all the information and interactions outta her yet#also the one glimpse of Kenjakus pupil i based off of the parasite that takes over snails! I thought itd be funny#*cracks knuckles and starts weeping about typing out the id*#yes i use neo pronouns she/he/they/it pronouns for kenjaku. yes i will continue to so unless i am told it is wrong#if i am told it is wrong i will change my shit IMMEDIATELY#i hope i characterized kenjaku correctly#i think i should open asks....
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i despise those who say taco is an abuser and then don't listen to those who try to say their point of view
"im not reading that" go fuck yourself then.
(this is about a certain microphone fan that i will not name but if you know, you know)
(and NOT targeted at any of my moots i will love and cherish you till the end of my days istg)
Fronting: Lollipop ~ She/He | Julius [He/They/Mew]
(lolli is the one who's typing she's uh filled with hatred and anger)
#vent#raichu's clicks ✨#raichu's lovelies 💌#ii#iii#taco#taco ii#literally what an asshole sometimes tacomic haters are literally dumb as fuck#when talking abt tacomic it all comes back to taco#and somehow mic's arc or personality was ruined because she could apologize#and of course you have to whine and cry abt how “omggg im literally grieving rn mic shouldn't forgive her abuser wahh wahh”#literally fuck you#taco is not an abuser you just can't see a mentally ill character unless they come to life and sock you in the face#brian did not say that for “fan service” you dumb dumb#he said that because tacomicers were raving and shit after truth or flare#if he really did fanservice shit he'd say payjay was canon#are you literally dumb#just because you dislike a character doesn't mean the writers of the show are scheming against you when something good happens to said-#character.#you are literally just petty and pathetic and sad#taco isn't an evil could-do-no-good villan#she is an interesting and nuanced character that you cannot seem to comprehend or understand#shakes you by the shoulders#if you read all the tags thx because i fr fr needed to get that off my chest ffs#i won't say the personout right because i don't want them crying to their friends say im plotting their demise or something#but you probably already know if you've ever taken a glimpse at tacomic discourse#jesus chriist. i want to punch a wall#anyway bye#growls + grunts 💥
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BLEEEEEHHHHBRGHHH
#ignore me folks I am just. Feeling very asexual tonight for Reasons#It’s late so I cannot physically shake and shout it off so I must do so as text#Idk if other queer folks have had this experience where you know obv I hat you’re some flavour of queer#But sometimes it hits you so Obviously in practice and you’re like ‘how could I ever have thought I wasn’t queer#when the evidence is right here and is so actually physical that it would be foolish to deny#Well it turns out us ace folks also have that. You know how people will say ‘how do you know if you don’t try’ etc.?#There may be absence of attraction but brother the reaction to being assumed not-queer is Still There#And it’s strong#Naw; surely you have. Surely other queer folks have too. Anyway I’ll be fine I just need to sweat it out of my system
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AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA I FORGOT THE REASON I STOPPED USING THESE FUCKING BLUETOOTH HEADPHONESIS BECAUSE MY PCS BLUETOOTH CONSTANTLY JUST STOPS WORKING COMPLETELY FOR NO REASON!!!! TO THE POINT OF ME HAVING TO UNPLUG MY PC FROM THE WALL TO GET IT TO WORK AGAIN!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
#I LOVE BREAKING TECHNOLOGY I LOVE THAT MY CHOICE BETWEEN HEADPHONES IS HEADPHONES THAT DONT HAVE A WORKING MIC#LITERALLY **ONLY** DURING DISCORD CALLS#OR HEADPHONES THAT WILL BREAK MY FUCKING BLUETOOTH DRIVER IN MY PC HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA#THANK YOUUUUU CHEAP PIECE OF PLASTIC FOR BREAKING ON MY GOOD HEADPHONES!!!! CAUSING THEM TO THEN COMPLETELY FUCKING B REAK AND STOP WORKING#3 DAYS LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#its fine. its fine. its fine. its fine.#<shaking> its fine.#its fine. i will have to buy new headphones i guess. eventually.#i cannot cope with using these bluetooth headphones on anything other than my phone because they fuck up my pc And laptop for reason si don#know#and my razer headphones require me to plug in my fucking guitar hero microphone to talk to my friends which is also annoying as hell becaus#i dont have any sort of Mic Stand for it.#it will. be fine. one day#looks off into the distance#<choosing positivity> at least this gives me a reason to buy new headphones (ive been wanting new headphones bc my good ones#(the ones that broke)#have had the. pleather...? flaking off for several months and its been bothering me)#(but thats not nearly a good enough reason to replace them)#so. thers that.#i love buying new things also. so it works out. haha.#well i hate the act o fbuying things but i love the feeling of being able to use new things#posting
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Last day at work tomorrow. It feels so weird to close this chapter of my life. Praying that my dream job pulls through; if not, I might pull a fast one and move to Rome for a year. Going to Europe anyways on Thursday. Life is absolutely crazy.
#personal#jdr rambles#I cannot believe that the southern American girl chapter of my life is ending#and ending so well!#I thought I would shake the dust off my boots and March home#but no#God answered my prayers for genuine community and now it’s painful to leave#but I also know that it’s the right decision and He’s made that clear#plus now there’s reasons to visit!
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Hate that I’m such an emotional person because it totally ruins my credibility in arguments because I WILL cry. #cancermercury #cancermoon #scorpiomars . Dude it’s bad.
#I was ranting to MYSELF about something that pissed me off and ended up teary girl get it TOGETHER#I know it’s just because I care but holy shit .#and the frustrating thing is it’s not a strictly personal thing it’s my fury about politics and the world at large#all of my politics come from a place of deep caring but that’s why I cannot have calm debates I get worked up#I’ve gotten better at it in person I mostly just end up shaking a little but hold it together#but thinking about it when I’m alone? or if it’s with someone I know well? yeah it’s over.#fuck off feliks
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i had so many repeat dreams from years ago when i was sleeping it was so strange
#it is interesting seeing the difference in my reaction though#before it was like. a horror fream#i cant remember why we're there but its like an apocalyptic scenario and we have to get into this grocery store#and someone is helping us who knows it and i guess stays there a lot#and we have to go through the freezer to get into different levels#and u have to be So Quiet and stay inside the shopping cart#because theres like. people . but not ? theyre like. zombies or ghosts but neither#they just walk slowly around#and theres the threat theyll rip you apart if you tip them off#but also at some point they talk about how annoying it is people r coming into their space#its like sacred to them#i think. the point was to save someone#im not me in the dream im some older guy but i know i need something from in there#but anyway it used to be the scariesr dream and it still was but this time i was im the cart trying to stay as still as possible#and they were walking around bumping into me and pushing the cart#specifically there was a kid that kept doing it#and every time id get knocked into other ppl id have to stay So Still so rhey dont notice youre there#and . that is something i cant do irl and i guess that trancends into the dream universe BHAAJ.. but i Shake i Tremble#not even if im scared just in general i cannot be still#but anyway i was like. u know if i was high this would be so easy BABSHAJAJ#bc that is the only way i can be calmed n stilled#like woag this would probably be enjoyable n calming.....#also tho. later we were wizards#and there were wolf ppl who were specifically . wolves first and then became werehumans#but they were cool after we killed this one guy#and then . i had to join them to go out and hunt#and sneak away from a human farmer#but anyway#during all this i was waking up in a panic every 30 or so minutes just. as i do due 2 irl anxiety 2 check things#but somehow i kept returning to the same dream
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yesterday was so emotionally fucking exhausting i cant believe i pulled through
#nearly got hit by a car bc the jackass didnt see me coming from 10 fucking miles away#he was SPEEDING and had the audacity to call me a bitch#i nearly pissed myself for real after it happened i was so tempted to just fuck off and go home i was panicking so bad#like full on shaking couldnt see couldnt feel#but i sat down and brought myself out of it which is genuinely fucking unheard of for me#i walk everywhere and ive never been panicked like that. im so good at looking both ways#even just thinking about it im fucked up. jesus christ#anyway#i went to work after that bc such is life tbfh#and halfway into it THIS DUDE BROIGHT THEIR DOG IN#AND HE CAME RIGHT OVER TO ME HE WAS SO FUCKING SWEET HE WAS SO PRECIOUS#HE JUST WANTED PETS#I NEARLY FUCKING BROKE FUCKING DOWN#IT MADE ME MISS MY DOGS SO MUCH#IT TOOK EVERYTHING NOT TO FUCKING SOB#his SCENT. oh FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME#i petted that bitch so so hard. oh my fucking god.#i dont know if it was healing or triggering. it made me miss my babies so fucking much. SO FUCKING MUCH#but i also got a whiff of what my life used to be. and that was incredible#i miss my babies so horribly. nearly as much as i miss my parents#it was just a lot. it was so fucking much.#i dont know if that was good or bad for me.#i cannot stop crying abt it all. jesus christ. and then i came home to awful news#it’s so much. it is so fucking much.#the will it took to not just abandon my work and get on rhe ground with that dog. holy shit. what a fucking baby. (me and the dog)
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