#but like working from 8 AM to 10:30 PM (and sometimes until midnight or even 2 or 3 AM) everyday for 10 weeks?

[bberry005]

shoutout the pitt for really showing the exhaustion and toll that comes from working a job where your shifts are 12+ hours long. no more still looking put together when you've been on the clock since 7 am and now it's 9 pm with the end just out of your reach. everyone looks appropriately distressed and tired. i can sense the "please god i just want to go home" radiating off of all of them. perfection.

[therandomavenger]

What is Time?

I’ve been reading Jaclyn Paul’s Order from Chaos and it’s all about how you, as an adhd person, can organize your time and your living space. And it made me think about how I was structuring my days, and if I was doing that in the most efficient way.

I don’t really have much trouble getting things done lately. I make a schedule, and I pretty much stick to it. But it’s only been in recent months that I’ve zeroed in on what that structure looks like for me and why.

Research has shown that most people generally have about 6 hours of productivity in them during the day. For early birds, that can be from 6 am to noon, and then in the afternoon they need a little pick-me-up. I have never been good in the mornings, no matter how much I have tried to be. I used to think that I was a night owl, and night owls tend to be productive in the evening and nighttime, so like 6pm to midnight. And while I used to stay up that late a lot, I found that productivity was nearly impossible, because my Adderall wears off around 7pm and my brain turns to mush. I believe this is the technical term for it.

What I’ve discovered by a great deal of experimentation is that I am most productive from about 11am to 5pm every day. That puts me smack dab in the middle of the afternoon. I’ve never heard of there being ‘afternoon people,’ but I can’t be alone in this. My brain does not wake up until at least 10:30, no matter what time I actually get out of bed. And after 5pm or so, I can do mindless chores or watch TV or whatever, but if you want me to think deep thoughts about something, you’d better come back the next day. If I play with the timing of my Adderall dose, I can extend this to about 8 pm, but that’s a risky prospect. If something is really engaging, I can hang with it (which is how I deal with my D&D game, which can go as late as 10pm, but sometimes it is a struggle), but really, I shouldn’t be expecting myself to do anything major in the mornings or the evenings.

And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. We all have preferences for how we use and conserve our energy. If left to our own devices, we all have times of the day that work better for us. There should be no judgment for people who can’t function like others, even though our society seems to make not being an early riser a moral failing.

So, here’s how I need to structure my day.

When I first get up, I need two things: movement and sunshine. So, I need to get up early enough to take a walk outside to start the day. This really helps me ease into a productive state. On my walk I listen to audiobooks or podcasts, and I start thinking about what I’m going to write later, so I am not starting cold. I also like to schedule medical appointments early, so they are not taking up any of my productive hours. Would I sleep until noon every day if I had a chance? Absolutely! But I’ve learned that getting all of this stuff out of the way before expecting myself to do any productive work is best, so I’ve been trying to leave the house around 8am every day. This is especially important in the summer, because if I let it get too late, it will be too hot to take a walk outside. If I needed to, I could walk on my treadmill, but that is a last resort. I need to be outside, if at all possible. In the winter I have more leeway when it comes to time and have invested in a good rain slicker so I can take walks in the rain.

Then around 11am or noon, I start my hours of productive work. For me, this is when I get my writing done. I write for 99 minutes or until I’ve produced at least 2500 words, whichever comes first. (it’s 99 minutes because that’s the longest timer I can set on my Fitbit. It also dovetails nicely with my natural attention span). Once my drafting is done, I practice the guitar for 30 minutes, to give my brain a break, before spending an hour editing, if I’m in that stage with a project. This usually means I’m done with work around 3 or 4pm and can work on household chores or do something else that needs my focus.

My boyfriend usually cooks dinner after this, and I save enough energy to do the clean-up and dishes. The evenings we chill and watch TV or go shopping or whatever. And these days, I try to get to bed before 11pm. No more staying up doomscrolling until 4am!

This is the schedule that works best for me. It’s important to figure out what that looks like for you, so you can try to play to your strengths. I am fortunate that I don’t have a regular day job except when I work at the library 1-2 days a week (that shift is usually 11-2, sometimes 2-5).

It’s important to note that there’s no moral weight to any of this. Morning people are not superior to afternoon people or night owls. And sometimes, you can’t choose your schedule, especially if you have a day job and/or children at home who have schedules you might have to work around.

I also find that I need a lot of downtime in the evenings. Sometimes this is catching up with TV shows. Sometimes it is reading. But whatever it is, I need some time dedicated to not performing any productivity. It’s ok if I am productive, but it must be an accident.

Anyway, that’s what works for me. Your mileage may vary, of course. I think it’s interesting to talk about this stuff and consider how we’re all wired slightly differently. So, if it’s at all possible, figure out what your ideal schedule is and lean into it. If you have a day job that needs you awake and functioning at 7am, but you’re naturally a night owl, you might want to think about switching to something that is a more natural fit. I know that sounds like I think it’s easy. I know it’s not. I’ve found however, that I’ve been much more successful when I play to my strengths.       

[theticklishpear]

NaNo Chat with Pear!

Thanks to those who reached out with interest in continuing my small, quiet, sleepy, chill NaNoWriMo chat — I look forward to seeing you all again and writing with you.

The Chatzy room is officially open and ready for you all!

Click on through and enter nano2021withpear for the password.

You do not need a Chatzy account to participate.

Please use your Tumblr handle as your username if you can; it will help me keep track of who’s who.

The room will be open 24/7 throughout November, but I will be there to moderate from 10 AM-midnight EST as I can. (time zone converter)

As an ML for my region, plus one of the two extremely busy seasons for my day job, and of course the opportunity for other unforeseen life circumstances, there will be some times and some nights I cannot be there. In general: 7-8 PM EST, I am driving home; Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings I will not be there due to regional write-ins; weekends, I usually can’t hop in until ~2-3 PM EST due to regional events and doing chores. I’m human, and while I’ll try my best, life is sometimes very busy.

Please be respectful while in the room. I want this to be a good environment for you all as you write. I reserve the right to kick you out if your behavior is detrimental to either the morale or work of those in the room. I don’t want to do that, but if it’s clear that you aren’t there to write, or you’re not being supportive of others, I will bring that boot to bear. Trolling, flaming, anti-LGBTQNIA+ sentiments, racism, antisemitism, etc. will not be tolerated.

Here are some things to expect while in the room:

Encouragement: Who better than your friendly mod Pear and other writers in the same struggle to cheer you on?

Prompts: Can’t seem to get started? Come ask for a prompt to work on for the day to help get your brain in gear.

Challenges: Prompts too constraining? Challenges will give you a couple of fun items to work toward integrating into your day’s work.

Word Sprints: These mini, not-actually-a-competition competitions require more than just me in the chat room. When there’s more than me, and all are interested, I’ll set a timer for 10, 15, 20, or 30 minutes depending on how enthusiastic or distracted we’re feeling. We write like mad for that amount of time, and when the timer goes off, we compare our word counts. A little encouragement, a little mind-break to peruse the internet, and then back to work! These continue to be a big hit each year and really boost daily counts.

I look forward to seeing you all there! -Pear

P.S. I won’t be in there until ~3 PM EST-ish on the U.S.’s November 1st as I have to host my region’s Midnight Countdown and then we have a big event at work that I’m in charge of. I promise I’ll be in as soon as I can be.

Tagging a couple of folks who’ve expressed interest: @noellelefey, @cenneidi, @beezarre, @angrylittlesliceofpizza, @absurdtamsin

[mosh-4]

when you were sleeping

harry styles imagine

when you were sleeping - your family has a crisis when he’s away.

warning: angst. suicide

.

.

.

you and Harry were currently braving a long distance relationship. it was difficult, but you both managed. you loved him, but you were also a very independent person. you didn’t need to be constantly surrounded by him to know that he loved you. you were on your last year of college, and he was in Tokyo writing music. you both had goals and were striving for them together.

from where you lived, Tokyo was 14 hours ahead. that meant you could only talk to Harry from 6 pm to 2 am your time, which would be 8 am to 4 pm his time. you only could talk to him within those 8 hours since you both had to sleep at some point and he also had to write music. it got to be frustrating, but you made it work.

you received your daily call from Harry when you were laying in bed. it was midnight where you were, 2 pm where he was. you decided to come home to visit your family since your university was having a 4 day weekend. you had thursday and friday off going into the weekend. it was nice. you got to see your dogs and eat home cooked meals.

             “i think ‘m gonna have a late night tonight,” Harry muttered through the phone.

             “oh yeah,” you said brushing a hand through your almost dry hair.

             “yeah,” he said. “some of the guys want to go out tonight.”

             you laugh. “sounds fun.” you roll onto your stomach. “when can i expect you to be awake?”

he laughed. Harry was big on getting up early. most days he got up at 8 am, sometimes 9 am if he was pushing it, but on mornings after nights he stayed out late, he tended to get up from 10 am to 11 am, if it was really late, he even slept until noon.

             “i don’t want to stay out past 3 so hopefully no later than 10.”

             you laugh. “okay, you goof. text me when you go to sleep so i know you’re still alive.”

             “will do. how did your test go?” he asked changing the subject.

             “it was good…” you continued to tell him about how well you did, and you began to talk about the production you were currently working on at school.

--

on thursday at 1:43 pm, you received a text.

             harry: night night lovie

you laughed to yourself in the kitchen as you made yourself a cup of tea. your boyfriend was a goof. it was 3:43 am his time. you knew he wouldn’t be awake until at least noon his time. it wasn’t so horrible for him to sleep in. he got a lot of writing done this week. you remember him telling you about one of the songs he was working on and how it was almost complete.

you finished making yourself a cup of tea and took a seat on the couch with your two dogs putting on a movie you found on tv.

--

it was 5:36 pm. you had just gotten home from visiting with some of your friends from high school who were home on an early fall break. you were soaking wet from the rain. you were still home alone. your parents were at your brother’s teacher night at school, and your brother was at his football practice. you let the dogs out and gave them their dinner.

you decided to call your cousin, Lauren, to check in on her. she was the same age as your brother, and you three were extremely close along with your other cousin Collin, who was three years older than you.

when she answered the phone, your whole world came crashing down.

             “hey,” you chirped into the phone before you could hear her cry.

             in a shaky voice, she said, “(y/n).” she let out a few quick sobs before she finally spoke again. “Collin killed himself.” 

             you stood frozen in the doorway of your kitchen. “what?”

             “Collin killed himself, i found him in his closet, and i screamed for my mom, and then i fell down the stairs and i scared the dogs, and Collin’s dead.”

             your voice was caught in your throat. you knew Collin was suffering from depression, and it hadn’t been good for a while. you didn’t know it was this bad. you finally spoke. “oh baby,” you said gently. she cried harder. “do you want me to come there? do you need me to come to you?”

             “no,” she said. “my mom has to call 911. i have to call my brothers. i have to go, (y/n), i have to go.”

with that, she hung up the phone quickly. you stood in your kitchen. numb. you felt incredibly numb. you had to do something. he couldn’t be dead. he wasn’t. this wasn’t real. everything’s fine. you’re crying now. when did you start crying? you had to call your mom. you had to tell them. oh god. your brother. he and Collin were best friends. they were so close despite their difference in age. how were you going to tell him.

you rung your mom’s phone. no answer. you rung your dad’s phone. no answer. they were probably meeting with a teacher. you would have to wait.

you heard the garage door open. the dogs went crazy as your brother came into the kitchen with his football bag and backpack in arms.

             “hey,” he called to you while petting the dogs.

             you cleared your throat. “Tom,” you took a breath to keep yourself from crying. he looked up at you as he put his bags on the floor by the kitchen table. “Tom, Collin killed himself.”

             “what?” your brother peered up at you confused.

             “Collin killed himself.” you said with tears in your eyes.

he sat himself in a chair at the kitchen table with his head hanging. you wrapped your arms around him and cried with him.

             “can i use your phone to call mom and dad?”

             he nodded and placed his phone on the table.

--

it was 6:27 pm. you were driving to your cousin’s house after you called her to tell her your parents were on their way there. she told you to come too.

when you arrived at their house, a police car was placed outside in front. you saw your oldest cousin’s husband standing outside handing his baby to his parents to take for the night. he caught you and Tom before you could go into the house. he pulled you both into a hug.

             “just warning you, it’s not easy in there. you can’t see him. he’s still upstairs. they have the room taped off.”

he led you both inside to where everyone was gathered. the house was dark. your family was sitting in a dark room crying. you pulled your aunt into a hug as you both cried in each other’s arms. she let go of you and pointed a shaky finger to Lauren, who was curled up on a couch crying.

             “she needs you. go to your buddy.”

you and Tom collapsed onto the couch with her and sandwiched her into a hug. all three of you sobbed into each other’s arms.

later that night, you cried with your family and listened to your aunt and cousins talk about how bad his depression was. you stood with your cousins when they brought him downstairs on a stretcher. you watched as your aunt and dad said their goodbyes to him. after his dad left, your dad was the closest thing he had to a father, and Collin was the only one who could make your dad laugh like a little kid. your mom held you as your cried. you watched as they placed him into the ambulance and took him away.

--

10:14 pm. 1 missed call from Harry Styles.

1 message:

             harry: hi lovie, i survived the night

you left him on read.

--

the next morning, your eyes were swollen and raw. you woke up a little after 9:30. you saw another message from Harry at 11:26 pm.

             harry: goodnight love. i’ll call you again tomorrow.

you left him on read again. you don’t mean to be a bitch. you’re still processing.

--

Harry noticed you left him on read again. you normally would respond fairly quickly, and you never went to bed before midnight. he found your lack of response odd. it was 11:45 pm his time. he decided to catch at least a few hours of sleep and to call you at 6 am, which would be 4 pm your time.

he woke up at 6:12 am. he rubbed his sleepy eyes before grabbing a drink. he cleared his throat, and he picked up his phone.

--

it was 4:23 pm. you were sitting on the floor of your grandparents living room. your cousins were surrounding you as the adults sat in the kitchen. you were playing with your oldest cousin’s 1 and a half year old daughter. she was the only thing that kept your spirits up.

your phone began to ring. Harry’s contact picture appeared on your screen. you watched your phone as it rang. your eyes began to cloud with tears.

             “answer it,” Lauren said as she caught her niece in her arms, who was running back and forth between her and her sister tackling everyone in hugs. she was so young yet she understood that we were sad and needed comfort.

you nodded to her. clearing your throat and sliding to answer the phone, you walk outside to sit on the front porch.

             “hey lovie.”

             “hi haz,” you let out in a raspy voice. it had been a while since you had actually spoken.

Harry could tell you had been crying. your raspy voice was a telling sign.

             “hey, what’s wrong? are you okay?” Harry’s eyebrows were furrowed together as he heard her shaky breath through the phone.

             “Harry, my cousin killed himself last night.” you blink back tears as you drop your head into your hand.

             “oh love,” he said gently. “i can’t imagine how you feel right now.” he didn’t know what to say. who was it? which one?, he thought to himself.

             “it’s okay, haz. i’m sorry i ignored you. i just didn’t know what to say-”

             “no, no. it’s okay. i understand. you don’t need to apologize.” he took a breath to calm his voice. what he would give to be there right now for her. to hold her as she cried. he felt horrible that he wasn’t there. “do you want me to come home?”

             “no. that’s okay.” you said. he felt like she had punched him in the gut. she doesn’t want me there, he thought. “i know you’re busy and working right now. you don’t need to come home for this. i’ll be okay.”

you lied. you wanted him there. you wanted him to hold you and to rub your back as you cried. but, you know his work is important. so you lied. you told him you were gonna be fine. you were most definitely not fine. you had a hole in your heart. someone so loved and brilliantly smart and witty who could make the whole room smile was gone, and you were not okay with that.

             “you’re important too,” harry started. he wasn’t going to let her push him away. “i know you like to be an independent person, and you don’t like to depend on people, but you can depend on me. i want to be there for you. it hurts me that i can’t be there for your right now. i love you so much, and i wish i could take the pain away for you. can i be there for you? can i come home to you?”

             you burst into tears. you had tried so hard to hold them in. “yeah. okay,” you let out in a shaky voice. you couldn’t see anymore. your eyes were blurred by the tears. “come home to me.”

             “okay. i’m coming home to you. ‘m gonna book a flight, and ‘ll text you when i find out when i land.”

             “mkay,” you said your voice thick from the tears.

--

Harry landed at 8 am on saturday morning. you picked him up at the airport, and silently waited at the baggage claim for his luggage holding his hand. you had been quiet since he arrived. you were scared that you would burst into tears if you said anything.

you broke down when you got to your car. he held you in the parking lot of the airport as you sobbed into his chest. he took your keys and drove you home.

--

later saturday afternoon, you, your family, and Harry were at your aunt’s house. you were sitting with your mom, aunt, Lauren, and her older sister. you were putting together a photo board and were looking through pictures of Collin. you reminisced with Lauren about funny moments with him on your numerous family vacations.

your dad and brother were running around town to each department store to find green ties for each of the men in your family. Collin’s favorite basketball team was the Boston Celtics. his signature look was khaki shorts with a Celtics jersey or some sort of Celtics apparel. he wore mostly green. the men were wearing green ties as a tribute to him.

Harry was in the kitchen unboxing pizzas he ordered for everyone. he couldn’t really do much so he made himself useful by getting everyone food. you were extremely grateful for him.

--

the funeral was monday. you had to get up early to drive to the service. you were sitting at the vanity table in your room doing your makeup while Harry stood in front of your mirror putting on his cuff-links. he was wearing a simple black suit. his tie was hanging untied around his neck. you put the finishing touch on your hair and makeup and moved onto putting on your earrings.

your dad knocked on your bedroom door just as Harry was about to tie his tie. you both looked up at your dad.

             “i-uh,” he started to say looking from you to Harry. “i have an extra green tie.” he looked down to the tie in his hands before reaching it out to Harry. “would you wear this today?”

Harry gently took the tie from your dad’s hands. your eyes welled with tears. Harry looked up from the tie and into your dad’s eyes, which were red from crying.

             “i would be honored.” Harry spoke removing his tie to replace it with the green one. he tied it swiftly in the mirror before turning back to your father.

your dad nodded in approval, not saying much. it warmed your heart just as it broke it. that had meant a lot to your dad. he had allowed Harry to take part in this extremely difficult day, not as just a boyfriend of his daughter, but as a member of your family.

             his voice broke you out of your thoughts. “we are leaving in 10.”

--

the funeral was a blur. Tom and your cousins were the pallbearers. Harry stood by your side the whole time. his arm around you or his hand holding yours. it was a difficult day. your makeup was trashed. your eyes were red and raw. Harry got you some food at the luncheon afterwards. he made you eat a few bites every now and then.

when you got home, you just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep. he helped you take your dress and jewelry off. you put on your comfy clothes while he grabbed you a makeup remover wipe, and he helped you take your makeup off. he let you climb in bed with the shade over your window drawn down darkening your room. he got out of his suit and changed into his comfy clothes before crawling into bed next to you.

you cried in his arms, and you were so grateful for him being there.

hope you enjoyed. i know this was a bit darker. it was inspired by my cousin who passed in october. - mosh

[letsperaltiago]

a calm surrender to the rush of day

Jake’s had a few too many beers when he’s sent back home to Amy and his still relatively new son. It’s all good and cute, promise. Peak domestic Peraltiago. This oneshot is based on a prompt on this list.

#98: "I think we should have another"

Read on AO3 here

Amy was fast asleep in their bedroom when the sudden sound of the front door lock clicking and shifting followed by a half-hearted slam jolted her awake. For a very brief second, with her heart galloping in her chest as a result of the shock, Amy was utterly disoriented and the uneasy feeling was definitely not peculiar when you happened to live in a city that was ranked way too high on the Top 10 Most Dangerous Cities in America – a club she did not particularly enjoy being a part of. Although, as fast as it had encased her body to begin with, the shock quickly wore off the second she heard shifting and rumbling paired with a “shit” coming from what she figured out must’ve been the living room.

Jake, she realized, suddenly remembering why he wasn’t currently beside her in bed but rather out with some friends from the academy – or, at least, was.

In an attempt to put the final puzzle pieces in place she leaned over to grab her phone wondering how long he’d out and about for. The time revealed itself across her lock screen picture of Jake, fast asleep on their couch a few days after their son’s arrival with said son resting beneath his hands and on his chest. 3:11 AM – no wonder why she could barely keep her eyes open. There was a second of wondering if she should just turn over, go back to sleep and let Jake come join her whenever he was ready, but something else on the screen caught her eye before she could ultimately decide on doing so: 3 texts from Rosa with the last being from around 30 minutes prior.

Rosa Diaz – 12:39 PM Dude, Jake is horrible. He won’t shut up about you and the baby and for some reason the other guys from the academy seem to be eating it up. I hate it. What have you done to him?

Rosa Diaz – 1:56 AM Nvm. I take it back. He just paid a second round of beers to celebrate, and I quote, “His miracle baby”. Please get pregnant more. Means more free booze.

Rosa Diaz – 2:47 AM Def spoke too soon. He just threw up at my feet. We’re waiting outside the bar for his cab. I’m sending him home to you. Texts me when he gets there. Also: good luck lol. He’s stupid drunk.

Almost as if Jake had read the text as well, as to emphasize its point, Amy could hear him stumble into the bathroom across the hall to, what she chose to believe, grab his toothbrush but instead knocking over the glass holding it generating a loud commotion which tore throughout the entire apartment.

Amy’s head immediately as per instinct shot in the direction of her 3-month old’s crib, which stood against the wall on her side just a few feet away. Apart from the limited amount of Catholic traditions she’d grown up with living with her parents she wasn’t particularly religious, but right then and there she internally prayed that her son, who she’d spent an hour getting back to sleep just 3 hours ago, wasn’t woken up by her father’s drunken circus. She held her breath as a few, way too long seconds went by: no cry. Amy’s chest dropped in relief.

Moments like these were tiny victories that she as a brand new first-time mom held onto for dear life. In general, though she had nothing to compare to, her little boy wasn’t a particularly difficult baby but the past few days had been a bit rough on the little family: rough to the point where Amy had to push Jake out the door earlier that evening because he didn’t want to leave her behind with a fussy baby. But, more than ever before, Amy was confident, telling him it would be a waste for him to stay home and miss out on some fun; he should go out and she’d be fine. He’d ended up going. Although it was borderline against his will with half-worried eyes that Jake had crossed the threshold to exit their apartment, while repeating over and over again that she could and should call him if things turned out to be too much: he’d grab the first cab he saw back home.

Amy loved this considerate and worried side of Jake but it also turned out to be quiet unnecessary that night. Besides the hour from hell of fussiness at midnight, the evening alone with her son had gone by pretty smoothly – she’d actually made quite an enjoyable experience out of it. First of all, right after he’d had left, Amy ate the dinner Jake had prepared for her in advance on the couch with Flynn lying next to her in his little nest, talking and admiring his small sounds and smiles. God, she loved him so much and there was no TV-show or movie in the world that could beat the incredible sight of her son clumsily waving around his tiny legs and arms in his green pajama-onesie. Then, after bathing and changing him, she’d fed him to make sure he was completely ready for bed and by 8 PM she was silently smiling down at, admiring, her very own tiny sleeping human as he dozed off in his crib. Losing track of time was incredibly easy these days, both from the lack of sleep but also the huge amount of love for said little human, but after making sure (for the 32nd time) that Flynn was well asleep Amy had, trusty baby monitor in hand, retreated to the living room. There, with a tiny glass of white wine in hand, she’d managed to finish today’s The Times’ crossword puzzle - something Flynn had interrupted a couple of times that day – before she’d felt an inevitable wave of tiredness creep up on her. Once ready, having gone through her own routine plus checking up on the, to her pride and joy, still sleeping baby, Amy went to bed where she’d slept peacefully until her son had claimed her attention a few hours later. So even though Jake was her favorite person to hang out with, her evening had been great and, all in all, she wouldn’t mind doing it again  

Now here she was once again awake although this time it was not her baby causing the distraction from sleeping but rather her apparently very drunk husband stumbling around the bathroom. The fact that he hadn’t been loud enough to wake up their son had probably (for sure) helped, but also, Amy couldn’t be mad at Jake when she’d been the one to basically force him to go out and have fun. So, after giving up on falling back asleep figuring it’d be hopeless with Jake stumbling around the apartment, she instead took matters into her own hands and made her way to the bathroom. Here, to her amusement, the sight of her rather nicely dressed husband, unruly curls spilling onto his forehead, was barely able to stay awake and standing upright while brushing his teeth.

“Hey there,” she leaned her hip against the door frame before crossing her arms in front of her chest adding to it a teasing smile.

“Oh god!” from the way he almost choked on his tooth brush, Jake was obviously startled by her sudden appearance but quickly avoided choking with a sad attempt at smooth recovery by clumsily spitting the toothpaste into the sink getting it all over his lips in the process.  “I’m szo szo szorry,” the words tumbled from his mouth much like she imagined he’d tripped and fallen over various furniture and items on his way into the apartment just a few moments ago. “Dridn’t mean tro wake you.”

“Well…” she shrugged nonchalantly not really minding mostly because drunk Jake was a hilarious mess she’d missed during their pregnancy, but also partly because she knew he’d be paying the painful price in the morning. “You did.”

Immediately, as if he was a puppy whose tail had just accidentally been stepped on, Jake’s previously insouciant demeanor switched into a intoxicated version of his famous worried frown. Though the second she could tell panic was forming in his drunkenly fatigued eyes, she was quick to step in and avoid guilting him.

“But it’s okay,” her tired but nonetheless somehow always warm eyes worked their best to comfort him, hip nudging her off the doorframe and into a short journey to where her husband had shifted into a leaning position with his back against the sink, toothbrush desperately hanging from the left side of his mouth. His eyes, though dazed and barely able to stay open, followed her every move towards him closely but he was still startled when she’d come close enough for him to feel her breath on him and had sassily snagged the dangling toothbrush out of his mouth (careful to not hurt him in the process, of course).  

“As long as you don’t wake up your son,” she raised an eyebrow daringly only to be met by a shocked expression that told her he still wasn’t entirely over that bold toothbrush-move of hers, and was just barely managing to listen to what she was saying solely because of the mention of Flynn. He knew that the baby was an angel (duh, he was his and Amy’s creation) yet Jake was also very much in touch with reality which was that said son also hadn’t managed to sleep through the night yet (which according to his go-to parenting book Cry Hard was normal). Therefor even drunk Jake also knew that every second his son was asleep was to be handled as carefully as you would a bomb, and the mention of him possibly waking him up was enough to sober him up – or at the very least have him feel like it for a second.

“Luckily,” Amy proceeded, placing her hands on his chest before sliding them up to rest on his shoulders, “you didn’t.”

Paired with a heavy sigh, as if he’d been holding his breath in suspense, she instantly felt his shoulders drop in relief. Needless to say that Amy loved the way her husband cared greatly about his new father-role. Sometimes to the point where Jake, very unnecessarily, would push himself down an endless rabbit hole of doubt, where he, Amy had come to find out relatively early on, could only be calmed down by her ordering him to go lie down and so she could place tiny Flynn on his (incredible) father’s chest. Only then, with his son looking up at him with curious brown eyes or even just being fast asleep, Jake could feel his heart rate slow down significantly and the anxiety fade. His son was here on his chest, tiny heartbeat against his big one and they were both okay. It was love and that was all that mattered.

So yes, Jake’s father-role was very important to both him and her, but for tonight, Amy quickly decided, Jake was allowed to be just drunk-Jake. She had no problem taking full responsibility for Flynn-duty that night, and, even though neither of them kept scores or cared about the unspoken tally, she also knew Jake would make it up to her another night.

“So Flynni iz ztill azleep?” Jake whispered loudly not actually managing to control his voice as intended. His sluggish, wondering eyes reminded Amy of the look on her milk-drunk 3-month old’s face right after a feeding which made it even more obvious that Flynn Peralta was very much her father’s son and would grow up to be an exact copy.  

“Yes, Flynni,” she giggled emphasizing the nickname her husband had come up with, “is still very much asleep. But he won’t be for much longer if you don’t quiet down,” her hands slid up Jake’s neck to cradle his jaw, his tooth brush still in her hand.

“Zorry,” he smiled sheepishly actually managing to whisper this time. “You’re ze bestest mom in ze attire world, Amy Zantriago.”

“Hm,” she squinted her eyes jokingly, “maybe I should just put back that tooth brush because now you’re just talking crazy.”

“Nooo,” the whine that escaped her husband was childish as he simultaneously pulled her in for a clumsy, giggly kiss that’d cover her mouth in his toothpaste remains – unsurprisingly, drunk-Jake was not a very precise tooth brusher and had a toddler’s amount of basic skills. “Ze only crayzay here is me. Crayazay ‘bout my WIFE!” unable to control himself he half-yelled out the last word causing Amy to make a quick decision and shove the toothbrush back into his mouth. This, besides yet another surprised and confused expression greeting her, seemed to work and would hopefully keep him quiet till he made it to bed where he could pass out.

“Hush, Peralta,” and he immediately did. He knew his always very convincing wife only had good intentions (which making sure their son stayed asleep ultimately was) and whilst she picked up where he’d left of to finish brushing his teeth for him he, like the inner toddler the alcohol ignited in him, stayed put against the sink.

A few minutes later, still managing to stay somewhat silent (apart from constantly trying to whisper sweet nothings and stupidities into her ear meanwhile she struggled to brush his teeth and wash his face) Amy lead Jake to their bedroom which, for once, was for unsexy reasonz (with a z, yes). Immediately as soon as it was within what his drunk brain considered a safe distance, Jake’s body caved and dropped to the soft welcoming surface of their bed. Amy quickly figured that it was probably for the best and she should take advantage of Jake finally staying still, meaning she carefully started undressing him, and it had seemed that he was passed out right up until she popped the third button of his flannel and his eyes shot open along with a sneaky smirk.

“Amez, Iz tonight zhe night that we become PILFs?”

Amy frowned as she reached the last button and then pushed the flannel off of his torso. “PILFs?” She wordlessly prompted him to sit up as to allow her to remove the flannel entirely only to be followed by his undershirt being lifted off via his head – something she’d done a million times before but most cases being for other reasons.

“Parentz I’d Like To Frick,” he smiled in appreciation at his own genius invention before stealing a kiss when Amy happened to be close enough to reach by simply leaning in a bit. It did earn him a small giggle like he wished but then also a light shove back.

“Stop that and help me instead, would you?” She was far from mad at him which he could tell from the way she couldn’t keep an entirely straight face but on the other side of things Amy clearly wasn’t having the easiest time undressing her full grown husband either. Suddenly the task that was changing Flynn 7 times a day was put into a quite interesting perspective: a perspective she didn’t necessarily need.

And so, feeling that his wife was doing all the hard work, he helped. It might’ve taken him 5 minutes to pop open and zip down his jeans, but he succeeded and it was with way too much pride that he kicked his jeans off in a madman-ninja manner which resulted in them flying across the room to touchdown by the door. Normally Amy would demand he put them in the laundry bin but for once she couldn’t care less. The pants being off itself was a great victory.

“Nicely done, babe,” she joked trying to ignore the fact that 3 simple tasks had taken them almost 40 minutes by now, prompting her to playfully throw his night shirt in way so it landed on his head. “Now put that on and you’re good to pass out for the night.”

She walked back over to her side of the bed, throwing in a glance at Flynn in his crib to make sure he was still well and asleep, before crawling back under the covers and pushing the part on Jake’s side aside to invite him in.

It was a matter of seconds before he dropped into place but instead of passing out immediately as Amy had expected him to, her husband shuffled across the bed’s invisible center line wordlessly asking for snuggles that Amy, of course, couldn’t decline. She loved that Jake went out and had some fun by himself, although, at the end of the day, nothing would ever beat having him home with her – even if it meant dealing with an all at once incapable and horny man child.

So, by all means, she lifted her arm to welcome him to make himself at home under it, felt his head moving to on top of her chest, before she put it back down in a soft grip around his shoulders. His free arm would then soon enough wrap around her middle earning him a soft peck to the forehead.

“I love you, Amz,” he mumbled tiredly into her shirt.

“I love you too, Jake,” she smiled leaning her cheek against where she’d just planted the kiss.

“And I love our baby. Zo much. I mizzed him all ze night,” he mumbled on the verge of falling asleep.

And while she always did expect it these days, right then and there when she very honestly in the moment least did expect it, a loud cry as if scripted, tore through the darkness of their bedroom. A small sigh escaped her body although she was couldn’t help but smile at the irony of the situation.

“… Sounds like he missed you too, babe.”

“Oh no,” Jake whined basically imitating Flynn to a point where it was scary as Amy scooted out from his snuggle and the newfound warmth of their bed. “I woke him up. I’m zo zo sorry.”

In the meantime Amy had made her way to the crib.

“You didn’t wake him up, honey,” she made sure to reassure Jake of the fact before picking up the tiny crying figure before promptly looking at the time on her night stand, where her suspicion was immediately proved to be right. “It’s 4 AM: he’s just hungry.”

Not many things in this world were sure or certain, but if there was one thing that was then it was definitely Amy’s knowledge when it came to her son’s schedule. Yes, Jake got up with Flynn just as frequently as she did, but contrary to her, Jake didn’t take note of the time and just did what his son demanded without interest in cracking the code to their baby’s life-pattern: as long as he got to care for him and make him happy again, the logistics were somewhat irrelevant to Jake.

“You sure?” he complained nervously questioning his wife as she sat back down in bed with Flynn cradled to her chest.

“Yes, completely.”

With her always being right and all, Jake settled for accepting his wife’s statement quieting down to take in the sight of their son fumbling to find where his mother had lifted up her shirt in order to feed him. Seconds later, like the peace that followed after a huge sky-cracking thunderstorm, silence settled upon the family of three letting the two adult of said family know that Flynn had once again worked out how to still his hunger. Apart from the very faint sounds of suckling, the occasional little pop followed by a wail when he’d lose his mouthful and complain until Amy managed to help him back on track, idyllic silence of the night wrapped up the apartment as if Jake had never interrupted it just an hour prior.

It was in moments like these where Jake became untouchable, completely disregarding any physical or mental state he might be in, and simply gave in to soaking in the faultless felicity parenthood provided him with. He’d never been anything but happy with Amy but this life he’d been living for 3 months now was even better and beyond any imaginable expectations he’d had. Flynn, though being the one who was completely dependent on his father’s care, had given Jake life a renewed meaning he hadn’t known or felt close to before. A meaning he’d originally been so afraid of even considering before he met Amy but had come to realize he wanted with her and only her.

He wanted 4 AM cries. He wanted the sight of Amy, depending on what her energy level was, either dozing off to or actively admiring their son latching onto her swelled chest as he suckled on it. He wanted the rush of pride every time Flynn made a new sound even if it was simply bringing into existence a new pitch when he squealed or whimpered. Jake wanted all and everything, big and small, as long as it was with them.

So of course, as soon as Flynn was placed stomach down on Amy’s chest after being done eating and burped, earning himself a sweet praise when he succeeded, Jake was back to snuggling into his wife’s side. There was no minding sharing her chest with the tiny human as it provided Jake with the perfect combination of cuddling with his wife and the incredible sight of their stupefying son slipping back into a peaceful state of sleepy satisfaction.

“He’s sro prerfect, Amy.”

“I know, babe,” with a hand safely cradling and stroking the back of Flynn’s decently hairy head she mumbled her reply obviously in the early stages of dozing off herself. The other hand, this arm having returned to its spot around Jake, was resting against her husband’s back stroking it in a synchronized motion.  

“Like, he’z like getting ze one exact toy you wanted ze mostest in your Happy Meal as a child.”  

She would laugh out loud at his comparison, finding it incredibly endearing, but she was by then too exhausted and only managed to form a tired smile – also the laughing would cause her chest and then automatically Flynn to quiver which she was not about to dare.

“He really is,” she mumbled.

“I think we shrould have anozer.”

It was easy to tell that the comment was partly genuine and sweet but also partly… intoxicated. Though Amy didn’t doubt the fact that Jake wouldn’t mind more children, she also didn’t doubt the fact that he definitely wouldn’t remember this conversation when he woke up some hours later with a hammering headache and zombie-like state of mind.

“I think I have enough on my hands with you two.”

Yes, she did see them having at least two kids but one newborn was definitely more than enough at the moment, plus  they had plenty of time to consider further additions to the family once Flynn would be older and Jake not completely wasted. Although it was nice to hear some truth about his inner thoughts spill from her drunk husband, there was no doubt in her mind that there was no need to hurry. They would get there eventually and for now they were already so very happy.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the feeling of Jake’s lips planting a soft, half-sloppy kiss to, first, their son’s head, then, then her neck. Then small movements beneath her hand on Flynn was next, quickly peaking her curiosity and winning over her exhaustion then forcing herself to open her eyes. Immediately feeling glad she did so because she was met by the most heartwarming sight of Jake carefully caressing Flynn’s tiny feet.

“We’re gunna make zo many perfect bebiez, Amy Trivago. Zo many. Like zis one.”

“I’m sure of it, babe,” she gave into one last tired chuckle hoping agreeing would give him the peace he needed to fall asleep. And besides the fact his fingers continuously toyed with the tiny feet, Jake seemed fast asleep a few moments later leaving Amy to soak in the moment, fighting to stay awake just a few more minutes to enjoy how incredibly lucky she was.

There was indeed nothing better than feeling her two favorite boys’ heartbeats against her skin as she herself dove into a deep sleep.

[artxmisery]

ANSWER THEM A L L L LL LL L H AH HAHHEHAHEHAHAHAHAH HAH AHH AHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAH AHA HAHAHHAHAHA

Here we go! 1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? No reason, in particular, just the fact that my life is a confusing mess.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? Not really, no.

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Yes, but mostly because I’d be concerned for their safety.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Hell no.

5: What were you doing at 11 PM last night? Failing quite badly at sleep.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Hopefully a friend.

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Cut ties and tell them to do better next time.

8: Are you close with your dad? Eh, relatively.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? God, I wish. Sort of.

10: What are you listening to? The Silent Confessions album by sad boy with a laptop

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Plain old water.

12: Do you like hickeys? Not particularly.

13: What time do you go to bed? Before midnight, if I’m lucky.

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Nope.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? More or less.

16: Do you always answer your texts? In time, yes.

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? A minute or two ago.

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Most of my friends tbh.

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I haven’t the foggiest.

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Nope.

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Absolutely.

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? For sure.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? A little bit.

25: In the past week, have you cried? Yep.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Grey.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? Once in a blue moon, yeah.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? I hope not.

29: Do you have a best friend? Not one person in particular, no.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? Not particularly.

31: Who was your last call/text message from? My mum.

32: Are you mad at anyone? Myself.

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? A few times.

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

35: How many more days until your birthday? 167.

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Stay inside. And that’s about it...

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Yeah.

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Perhaps.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Absolutely.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Not really.

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? Depends on the context. Most of the time, yes.

42: Are you available? Quite.

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? A few.

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Nose, probably.

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? Absolutely.

46: Do you regret anything? Nearly everything I’ve ever done.

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Entirely too much.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Sort of, but not really.

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? No.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Assorted reasons, mostly because I’m a coward and it’s complicated.

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Yes.

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yes.

53: What was the last thing you ate? Fried rice with an egg over the top.

54: Did you get any compliments today? Not really.

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? I don’t know yet.

56: Do you own anything from other countries? Quite a bit, even if we’re only talking souvenir-type stuff.

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Guys, I guess.

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Washington.

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? A couple days ago.

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Once or twice, yeah.

61: Have you ever TP’d someone’s house? House? No.

62: Who do you text the most? Text? My immediate family, probably. Discord, who knows.

63: What was the last movie you saw? I honestly don’t recall, it’s been a long time.

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? Ahahahahaha...

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? None.

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yes.

67: Do you curse around your parents? I try not to.

68: Are you happy with where you live? More or less, but there are definitely places I’d rather live.

69: Picture of yourself? Nah.

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? Depends on the context, but I think that a healthy open relationship could 100% work.

71: Have you ever been dumped? Not really.

72: What do you most like about making out? Physical intimacy.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Maybe once? But no, not really.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Generally the other.

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Eyes, most of the time.

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? A friend of mine.

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? Nope.

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Nope.

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Depends on the person, but most of the time probably not.

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? A few times.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? I certainly hope not.

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? A good deal.

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? A couple of months now? I think?

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? Nope.

86: How can I win your heart? Just existing is sufficient most of the time. Kindness helps.

87: What is your astrological sign? Capricorn.

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Failing quite badly at sleep.

89: Do you cook? A few times a week.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? No.

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? Somewhat, yeah.

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I generally stick to one relationship to see if it works out.

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Not many, honestly.

94: Name four things that you wish you had! The ability to shapeshift. Or go back in time. Significantly more money. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

95: Are you a player? Nope.

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Once or twice

.97: Are you a tease? Sometimes.

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Don’t think so.

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yes.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Absolutely.

101: Hugs or Kisses? Hugs.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? Always.

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their voice, generally.

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Can be.

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in a relationship, would you go for it? Depends on if I know them and their partner(s). Generally, no.

106: Do you flirt a lot? Sometimes.

107: Your last kiss? It happened, yes.

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? Yes.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? I wish.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? [redacted]

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Nope.

112: Does someone like you currently? I doubt it, but I can hope.

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? Yep.

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious, all the way.

115: Ever made out with just a friend? The ones I have didn’t stay that way long, one way or another.

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? I think it generally goes the other way around, honestly.

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[cynoirsure]

coconut pancakes | cyj

pairing — little brother!yeonjun & older sis!reader

word count — 2,148

genre — fluff

summary — your brother comes to stay during your last few weeks of break. did you forget to mention he was famous and part of the rookie group tomorrow x together? and he’s the idiot who threw out his back too.

warnings/tags — some minor language, but nonetheless this is all just pure sibling love!

a/n — originally this was gonna be part of the rush!beta tau universe and this was gonna be choi sib fluff :] but i decided to not do it!! i love yeonjun like a little brother although hes a month older than me, and also the reader and yeonjun are irish twins! so they’re born within a year of each other but they’re not twins, hence the reason why they’re so close! enjoy some fluff!! 

also, there’s some lingo in here that i totally forgot to edit to say what they were, but konbini is slang for the convenience store and TLJ is just tous les jours, which is a bakery hehe~

---

The last days of your first summer vacation of university were upon you. 

You had spent a majority of your time either in summer classes (which was seriously, your worst decision ever. It might have been to get the classes you do during the fall and spring semester out of the way, but sitting in a film class from 7 to 10 pm every night? Not only was it hard keeping awake in class every night, but now you can’t watch a movie without analyzing the camera angles and if the music was diegetic or non-diegetic) or working, and while you were happy you had a stable job with a good pay, this meant that you were rarely ever home. The restaurant that you were working at was only open for dinner service, and you as a server worked until midnight and didn’t get home until 1 am. 

Thankfully enough, the summer classes had ended. You had two weeks before you had to pack up everything and move back into your dorms for 15 weeks and repeat the whole process over again, and you were going to spend every moment that you weren’t working catching up on the sleep that film class robbed of you.

Or at least, that’s what you thought.

See, your younger brother was an idol. An idol from the group Tomorrow X Together, who had been real popular in recent months for being a popular rookie group. You knew they were two awards in and you knew something in your gut was telling you that the end of the year awards show might either make or break them personally. 

Alas, their schedules had been stopped for a while. Their leader had an infection in his eye and the eldest member had thrown out his back out or something.

Your brother had been the one to throw out his back, by the way. 

Your parents thought it would be best for you to have Yeonjun stay over in your apartment, which was near your university in Seoul. You didn’t mind, but you felt a little bad because you were rarely home and that meant Yeonjun was lonely for most days.

On days you were home though, you tried to spend as much time as you can with him. The two of you would usually lounge around on the couch and talk about what the other missed while they were away, things that couldn’t be said in your family group chat. Yeonjun filled you in with all his wild stories from when he was in America with his band mates, and you filled him in with all your stories from your first year in college. It was something that you dearly missed, and since you two were close in age, you had a lot of similarities that weren’t just physically obvious.

The only difference between you two was that he was an early bird and you were a night owl. Yeonjun was used to the schedules waking him up at the hours that you would call it a night. The two of you had attempted to adjust your sleep schedules for the other, but he had also only been over for a few days and you were still getting used to sleeping earlier to adjust.

“Noona… I’m hungry.”

Yeonjun sleepily walked into your room, ruffling his hair. You were knocked out asleep, given the fact that you had only gone to sleep an hour or two prior to your younger brother coming into your room. He made his way to lay on top of you, earning a groan from under the bedsheets. You reached over to hit him with one of the Apeach plushes on your bed, the weight on your bed dipping and the younger boy clinging onto you.

“Why can’t you just cook for yourself? You keep saying in your lives that you’re the best cook but honestly, I’m starting to doubt it.” You mumbled sleepily, Yeonjun whining above you. 

“Because noona, you don’t even have spaghetti. I can’t make spaghetti olio e aglio without spaghetti noodles…” Yeonjun nudged you softly, the pout that’s usually in his voice coming out more. “Plus, it’s like, 8:30. You need a regular eating schedule too, noona.” Yeonjun managed to pull you upright, letting you sit up on your own. You grabbed onto your pillow, blindly patting for your glasses before unfolding them and putting them on. Yeonjun had moved off your bed and opened your curtains, the bright light that’s usually hidden by your no-show curtains feeling like the artificial light after watching a movie in class. 

“That can’t be the only reason, you and I both know that there’s a konbini and a TLJ across the street from here, you could’ve easily just bought yourself some like. Cake or something, I don’t know what you were craving.” You felt the weight dip down on the other side of the bed, and a little huff. 

“... I missed noona’s cooking.” He whispered, leaning onto your shoulder. You stopped fiddling with the bedsheet, before sighing. You shifted slightly, Yeonjun moving off of you and both of you exiting the bedroom to go into the kitchen.

You opened your pantry, humming under your breath as you contemplated what to make for both of you for that morning. Your mind immediately went to pancakes, thinking about an early memory you both had shared.

“Yeonjunie, can you pull out the coconut milk from the fridge? Oh, and some butter and eggs…” You were busy yourself reaching for the dry ingredients from the fridge, Yeonjun’s smile splitting into a grin when he realized what you were making for him. He grabbed the refrigerated ingredients and some bowls for you, a small thank you in order as you began to measure everything. 

“Coconut pancakes? How’d you know I was craving those specifically?” Yeonjun asked, grabbing a cup from the cabinet next to your head. He began to pour himself some of the mango juice in your fridge, following you around the kitchen like a baby duckling.

“It’s your favorite. You might be famous and all now, but that doesn’t mean your taste buds have switched up on me, right?” You shooed Yeonjun out of the kitchen, the younger one already knowing that you couldn’t do anything without music playing in the background. He walked over to your speaker system, plugging in his phone and scrolling for music. After a few beats of silence, Post Malone and Swae Lee’s Sunflower started playing on the stereo, a smile creeping up on your own face when you heard the song choice.

“I approve of this.” You laughed at the way that Yeonjun wiggled along to the song, your brother grabbing a glass of juice from the refrigerator and looking out of the window. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much light in my apartment either.” You noted, combining the dry ingredients into the wet. Yeonjun only laughed at your revelation, shaking his head. 

“Because you wake up so late, noona. I thought you died when I woke up the first day here.” Yeonjun joked with no harm, but nonetheless a gasp came from you of fake offense. 

“Bitch, I thought you died when they sent out the MGMA announcement that you weren’t performing. Did you throw it back too hard? Is that why your back hurts?” You teased, the playful banter familiar to you two. Yeonjun only laughed at your worry, shaking his head.

“I didn’t know you kept up with us that heavily, noona.” You froze, the batter of the pancake that you were beginning to flip over sizzling due to the uncooked side sliding over to the heat of the pan. You continued to flip the pancake in order to prevent further damage, rolling your eyes.

“Alright, you caught me red handed. I have Twitter notifications on for you guys… And I tune into all your V Lives too.” You confessed, a grin spreading on Yeonjun’s face. He set down his glass on the kitchen island where he’d start to clear up some of the mess of papers from your classes, stacking them in a corner before sneaking up behind you and hugging you from behind. You almost screeched, thwacking his hand gently with the rubber spatula you were using to cook the pancakes. 

“Why don’t you just be affectionate with your brother like a normal sister?” Yeonjun pulled away, soothing the slap on his hand. He pulled the placemats from the drawer, placing them down and searching for the plates he had washed last night so you could put the pancakes on them after cooking them. “Hyuka’s sisters always text him, it’s cute.” 

“Because I forget the family chat exists until you text us.” Your reply comes with a soft laugh. You place half of the pancakes on your plate and the rest on his plate, grabbing the whipped cream from the fridge and putting dollops of it on top of the stacks of pancakes you had just made. “It’s not intentional, but sometimes I’m so busy that I forget to look at my phone… The only time I look is when you post something or if you send pictures to our group. And then I realize it’s too late to text you…” You frown, picking up the plates. Yeonjun reaches for one of the plates you’re carrying, humming along to the music playing. 

“You shouldn’t let that stop you, noona. Besides, we’re probably still in rehearsal by the time you’re done doing your school stuff.” Yeonjun smiled at you, nudging your shoulder as you round the table to sit next to him. You purse your lips, thinking over what your younger brother just said. “Plus, you make it seem like I’d be too tired to talk to you. Which, I never am, since we’re so close without being twins.” Yeonjun and you said grace before cutting into your pancakes, giving you time to let everything sink in. You stopped mid-chew, tears brimming at your eyes. 

“Noona? Are you okay?” Yeonjun spun your bar chair around as well as his own, squishing your cheeks. You leaned forward and gave him a tight hug, a squeak coming from him before he laughed and hugged you back. 

“I’m glad you’re my little brother, Yeonjunie. I would give you the world if it guaranteed us as siblings.” You smiled at him, Yeonjun only laughing as he rubbed your back. Sure, you weren’t the perfect older sibling, but Yeonjun knowing that you’re doing so many little things to contribute towards the success of their group was just enough for him. You decided it was a good idea to keep the conversation light again, so you hummed a note before you asked your next question.

“Are the babies treating you well?” You pulled back and continued to eat your pancakes. The mention of his younger members made Yeonjun groan, causing you to laugh. 

“I swear they’re such bullies to me, noona. You watch the lives too right? I’m BULLIED by my members every time I invite them to play games with me!” The pout in his voice was enough to make you laugh, shaking your head. 

“This is why they call you the fake maknae, Yeonjunie. You allow yourself to get bullied by the other members…” Yeonjun punched your arm lightly, grinning.

“That’s why I love staying with you, because you don’t know it but you baby me. I don’t have any responsibilities when I’m here.” He grinned. You sighed, rolling your eyes as you swallowed more of the pancakes. 

“Because you threw it back too hard. I’m supposed to look over you, I’m not a shitty sib, Yeonjunie. And because you said you don’t have responsibilities here, I’m making you wash the dishes.” You heard a whine from him, the two of you finishing up your pancakes while Jeremy Zucker played in the background. 

The dishes ended up being a partner deal, and after breakfast you two decided to go to the supermarket to pick up some more things before you headed off to work. The car ride to the supermarket was filled with music, the two of you singing obnoxiously loud to Fancy (no matter how annoying you thought the song was), as well as peppered with Yeonjun’s terrible dad jokes. (“you need to stop hanging out with Seokjin oppa. He’s tainting your already bad dad jokes.” “that’s not very nice of you”)

“Noona?” Yeonjun called your name as you were putting away the yogurt in the refrigerator, him putting the spaghetti away in the pantry. You closed the refrigerator, raising an eyebrow at your younger brother. 

“What’s up?” You saw a smile spread across his face as the two of you made eye contact, his head bobbing. 

“Nothing, I just wanted to say you’re the best, but I’m pretty sure you already know that.”

[astrogeoguy]

Walking the Dog on Moonless Nights, Evening Mars and Pretty Pre-dawn Planets!

(Above: This detailed star chart of the area around Canis Major, the Big Dog, shows the main stars and deep sky objects (labelled yellow symbols) in the constellation. The southern sky is shown for early March at 7 pm local time.)

Hello, Stargazers!

Here are your Astronomy Skylights for the week of March 3rd, 2019 by Chris Vaughan. Feel free to pass this along to your friends and send me your comments, questions, and suggested topics. I repost these emails with photos at http://astrogeoguy.tumblr.com/ where all the old editions are archived. You can also follow me on Twitter as @astrogeoguy! Unless otherwise noted, all times are Eastern Time. Please click this MailChimp link to subscribe to these emails. If you are a teacher or group leader interested joining me on a guided field trip to York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory or the David Dunlap Observatory, visit www.astrogeo.ca.

I can bring my Digital Starlab inflatable planetarium to your school or other daytime or evening event, visit DiscoveryPlanitarium.com and request me. We’ll tour the Universe together!

Public Astro-Events

Taking advantage of dark moonless evening skies this week, astronomers with the RASC Toronto Centre will gather for dark sky stargazing at Long Sault Conservation Area, northeast of Oshawa on (only) the first clear evening (Monday to Thursday) this week. You don’t need to be a RASC member, or own any equipment, to join them. Check here for details and watch the banner on their homepage or their Facebook page for the GO or NO-GO decision around 5 pm each day. 

Every Monday evening, York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory runs an online star party - broadcasting views from four telescopes/cameras, answering viewer questions, and taking requests! Details are here. On Wednesday nights they offer free public viewing through their rooftop telescopes. If it’s cloudy, the astronomers give tours and presentations. Details are here. 

On Thursday, March 7 at 8 pm in the Legion Hall in Waterdown, the RASC – Hamilton Centre will present a free public talk by Professor Michael Fich, University of Waterloo entitled New Frontiers in Observational Cosmology. Details are here. 

On Thursday, March 7, starting at 8 pm, U of T’s AstroTour will present a free talk entitled Kepler’s Story: How one Telescope Changed Everything we Know about Exoplanets. It will be followed by observing (weather permitting) and their planetarium show. Details are here. 

Eastern GTA sky watchers are invited to join the RASC Toronto Centre and Durham Skies for solar observing and stargazing at the edge of Lake Ontario in Millennium Square in Pickering on Friday evening, March 8, from 6 pm to 11 pm. Details are here. Before heading out, check the RASCTC home page for a Go/No-Go call in case it's too cloudy to observe. The rain date is Saturday. 

On Friday, March 8 at 7:30 pm in the Hamilton Spectator Building in Hamilton, the Hamilton local astronomers will present a free public talk entitled A Step Back, and a Look Up. Details are here. 

If it’s sunny on Saturday morning, March 9 from 10 am to noon, astronomers from the RASC Toronto Centre will be setting up outside the main doors of the Ontario Science Centre for Solar Observing. Come and see the Sun in detail through special equipment designed to view it safely. This is a free event (details here), but parking and admission fees inside the Science Centre will still apply. Check the RASC Toronto Centre website or their Facebook page for the Go or No-Go notification. 

Saturday, March 9 marks the opening of a six-month exhibition at the Aga Khan Museum entitled The Moon: A Voyage through Time. The museum will feature installations of art, culture, history, and science pertaining to the moon. A public talk, The Moon: Mirror of Faith, Science, and the Arts will be delivered by Dr. Christiane Gruber on Saturday at 2:00pm. Details are here. 

On Saturday, March 9 from 6 to 8 pm, weather permitting, astronomers from RASC Toronto Centre will carry out free public evening stargazing on the Teluscape at the Ontario Science Centre. Details are here. 

Evening Zodiacal Light

For about half an hour after dusk between today and the new moon on March 6, look west-southwest for a broad wedge of faint light rising from the horizon and centered on the ecliptic. This is the zodiacal light - reflected sunlight from interplanetary particles of matter concentrated in the plane of the solar system. The glow will be centred on the horizon directly below Mars. Try to observe from a location without light pollution, and don't confuse the zodiacal light with the brighter Milky Way to the northwest. I posted an image of it here. 

(Above: Canis Major is one of two dog constellations that accompany Orion in the winter sky, as shown here at 7 pm in early March. The Little Dog, Canis Minor is the “stick-like” constellation at top left. Perhaps they are chasing Lepus, the Rabbit. The winter Milky Way runs vertically, just to the east (left side) of Canis Major.)

Walking the Big Dog

The night sky’s brightest star Sirius is sure to catch your eye in the evening sky this time of the year. Once the sky darkens at around 8:30 pm local time, Sirius will be sitting a third of the way up the southern sky, to the lower left of Orion (the Hunter). During the rest of the evening, Sirius will slowly descend into the southwestern sky and set just after midnight local time. 

Sirius name means “searing” or “scorching” in Greek. It’s also commonly known as the Dog Star because it is the brightest star in Canis Major (the Big Dog). To my eyes, the constellation genuinely resembles a wiener dog! Sirius sparkles at the dog’s collar. The pup’s head is formed by several medium-bright stars to Sirius’ upper left, but those are near the limit of visibility in urban skies. Nose to tail, the constellation measures about 19°, or two fist diameters held at arm’s length. He’s about one fist from ears to paws. The rest of the dog’s body, composed of more easily visible stars, extends to the lower left (southeast) of Sirius. The dog is rearing up and facing west, as if he is begging Orion for a treat. 

About a fist’s diameter below Sirius is the bright star Wezen, which marks the dog’s “bottom”. Wezen, Arabic for “weight” is a rare, massive yellow supergiant star. One day it will explode in a supernova. The tip of the dog’s tail, marked by a modest star named Aludra, is found 4° (four finger widths) to the lower left of Wezen. Four degrees to the lower right of Wezen, a bright star named Adhara represents the dog’s rear legs. (Some representations include two dimmer stars for the rear paws.) Adhara is a hot blue giant star with a surface temperature of a whopping 21,000 K located about 34 light-years from the sun. It’s the brightest star in the sky when viewed in ultraviolet light, and it, too, is on the way to a supernova death. 

The dog’s front legs are formed by the bright star Mirzam, which is located about a palm’s width to the lower right of Sirius. Mirzam, which means “the Herald” because it rises just before Sirius, is 60 times more luminous than Sirius. If it were located where Sirius is, instead of 500 light-years away, it would appear 15 times brighter than Venus! 

In the heart of Canis Major, about four finger widths below Sirius, is a bright little cluster of stars designated Messier 41, sometimes called the Little Beehive Cluster. Binoculars should show it easily. The cluster, which is about 2300 light-years away, consists of several brighter golden stars and numerous fainter ones. Another nice cluster sits about 2.5 finger widths to the upper left of Wezen. Scan around that area of sky with your binoculars – the winter Milky Way has populated Canis Major with many treats. 

Canis Major is only one of Orion’s two hunting companions. The other one, Canis Minor (the Smaller Dog), sits 30° (three fist diameters) to Orion’s left. This constellation is composed of only two stars - very bright white Procyon and dimmer Gomeisa, which sits about four finger widths to Procyon’s upper right. Ironically, the constellation resembles a stick more than a dog! The two dogs might well be hunting Lepus (the Rabbit), a constellation of modest stars that sits directly below Orion. 

(Above: In this over-exposed image of the star Sirius, its white dwarf companion, the Pup, or the Flea, is the speck at the lower left.)

Sirius is so bright because it is about 25 times more luminous than our Sun, and only a mere 8.6 light-years away from Earth. Furthermore, it is heading towards us, and will brighten over the next millennia! Sirius has a tiny companion star, designated Sirius B, that some astronomers call the Pup. I prefer to call it the Flea! 

Sirius is famous for exhibiting flashes of intense colour as it twinkles. This is because northern hemisphere observers usually see the star positioned low in the sky, so its very bright starlight is passing through a thicker blanket of air. The pockets of turbulence in our atmosphere that makes stars twinkle also work like tiny refracting prisms – splitting apart Sirius’ white starlight and randomly sending different colours (wavelengths) to our eyes. 

The ancient Egyptians linked their calendar to the arrival of Sirius in the pre-dawn sky because it signaled the onset of the Nile floods around the beginning of summer. In China, Sirius is called Tiān Láng天狼, aka “the Celestial Wolf”. Many First Nations cultures saw a dog’s shape in these stars and called Sirius the Moon Dog Star (Inuit), the Wolf Star (Pawnee), and the Coyote Star. On the next clear evening, have a look at our bright neighbour! I’ll post sky charts and pictures here. 

The Moon and Planets

The moon will start the week as a slim, old crescent sitting low in the southeastern sky before sunrise. Even though New Moon won’t occur until Wednesday morning, the shallow angle of the moon’s orbit this time of year will cause the moon to rise almost beside the sun, hiding it from view for several days. 

The moon will return to view as a young, slim crescent sitting low over the western horizon on Thursday evening right after sunset. At the same time, sharp eyes might catch Mercury sitting 8.5 degrees to the right of the moon. The best time to look for Mercury will be around 7 pm local time. The moon will complete the week by waxing fuller daily and climbing higher – landing a fist’s diameter below Mars on Sunday evening.

(Above: Mercury will complete its best appearance of 2019 for northern hemisphere observers this week. Look for it low in the west after sunset, but a little lower every day. Meanwhile, reddish Mars at top left, continues to shine brightly every evening until it sets before midnight. Dim Uranus is below Mars. The sky is shown for 6:45 pm local time on Sunday, March 3.) 

Speaking of Mercury, during the first half of this week, the normally elusive planet will continue to be easily visible in a darkening western evening sky while it descends toward the sun. The optimal viewing times will fall between 6:45 and 7:15 pm local time. If you view Mercury in your small telescope, the planet will exhibit a waning half-illuminated disk. Find a viewing spot where the western horizon is low and free of foreground obstructions. Once the sun has fully set, sweep the sky with binoculars - or your own sharp eyeballs – looking for a medium bright, unmoving point of light. 

The other easy evening planet to see this week will be Mars. When the sky begins to darken, Mars will appear as a medium-bright, reddish pinpoint of light about halfway up the western sky. The Red Planet will set at about 11:15 pm local time. Mars has been slowly shrinking in size and brightness as we increase our distance from it little-by-little. 

The much dimmer, blue-green planet Uranus is also in the western early evening sky. It can be identified by aiming binoculars about 1.6 finger widths above the modestly bright star named Torcular (or Omega Piscium). Look for Uranus right after dark - this week the distant ice giant planet will set at around 10 pm local time.

(Above: Three bright planets will parade across the eastern pre-dawn sky during the coming weeks. Bright Jupiter will rise first, followed by dimmer Saturn, and then Venus, the brightest of all. Venus’ orbit, red curve, is carrying it downward and east, toward the sun. The sky is shown for 6 am local time in early March, 2019.) 

Three spectacular bright planets – Jupiter, Saturn, and Venus, will all continue to appear low in the eastern morning sky this week. Bright Jupiter will rise first, at about 2:30 am local time. By 7 am local time, it will be a beacon in the southern sky. Yellowish Saturn, which is twice as far away as Jupiter, is correspondingly dimmer. The ringed planet will rise at about 4:15 am local time and will be lost in the twilight by 7 am. Our sister planet Venus is only one-fifth as far from Earth as Jupiter. Venus’ blazing brilliance will grace the southeastern dawn sky after 5 am local time, and remain in view until sunrise. In a telescope, Venus will exhibit a gibbous (more than half-illuminated) phase. 

Dark Night Delights

If you missed last week’s write-up about grabbing your binoculars and telescopes and exploring the darker sky for deep sky treasures, I posted some beautiful images and sky charts here. This week will be just as good!

Keep looking up, and enjoy the sky when you do. I love questions and requests - so, send me some!

[acaddicts]

Meet your Admins!

**Not all admins are pictured above**

>Click their title/name to see their posts on our page<

Head Admin: @sunflowercrosser 

Name: Amy-Louise

Nickname: Ames, Amylou, "Queen"

Age: 20 Birthday: 24th November Timezone: BST (GMT in Winter) • Best Available: after 5pm Fave Villager/NPC: Rosie|Phylis Fave AC Game: New Leaf About Me: I am a full time carer at the moment. Originally a secretary. I have a puppy called Sox. I am a devoted auntie, and love spending time with my family. Originally from Northern Ireland. Suffer with several chronic illnesses.

Co-Head Admin:

🌿 Name: Eliana 💕 ✨ Nickname: Eli, El 🌿 Age: 18 😱 ✨ Birthday: July 2nd 🌿 Timezone: EST (I think EDT in winter??) ✨ Best Availability: I’m active 90% of the time if I’m not in school or at work 🌿 Fave Villager/NPC: L O B O npc is Sable ✨ Fave AC Game: Honestly New Leaf it’s really great 🌿 A little about you: I am a mother to a chinchilla, I like to play guitar, I’m a huge sims fan, did I mention my chinchilla? And I love everyone here so much💕

Head Artist:

• Name : Cynthia • Nickname : Anakya • Age : 23 • Birthday : February 5 • Timezone : Est • Best Availability : Night • Fave Villager/NPC : Spork • Fave AC Game : New Leaf • A little about you : Im Canadian french. Im a big fan of plushies I think I have an obsession with plushes. Im a big gamer, if I have some free times im probably drawing or playing pc or ps4.

Head Security: @wickedwitchofacnl

• Name: Michelle • Nickname: Mish, mama Mish • Age: 24 • Birthday: October 1st • Timezone: EST • Best Availability: Pretty much at any time, except between midnight and 7 AM • Fave Villager/NPC: Skye • Fave AC Game: ACNL • A little about you: I am a mom of 2.5, I like to be outside and write. I hope one day to become an L&D nurse, or maybe an OBGYN. I love to read and my favorite animal is a penguin.

Co Head Security:

- Jessica - Jess - 19 - 24/09/98 - probably best available in the evening time or late afternoon or weekend mornings (or day cause I'm allowed on my phone at work ) - UK time zone (can never remember proper name lmao) - Benjamin has been my fave for about 5 months but it always changes 😂 - new leaf probably I've spent the most time on it - uh I'm pretty sure you all know me by now, but I have a cat called Murphy who is my fave boi, my created gecko called morph and two fish called tipp and ponyo.. and broccoli is my fave vegetable could eat it all the time 🍒

Head Hacker:

- Candyce - Candy - 17 - January 16, 2001 - Central (USA) - It differs, but usually at night - I love Pudge :) - City Folk - I love cats, plan on becoming a graphic designer, work at a bubble tea shop, and I have celiac, body dysphoria, and lots of anxiety disorders. I've fully recovered from depression and mostly from my eating disorder (it turned into the dysphoria). I'm in a long distance relationship of 4 years and I like to play Wizard101    

Co-Head Hacker: @ladykayacnl

• Name - Kayla • Nickname - Kay, Kaylala, Layla, Kayduhx • Age - 27 • Birthday - September 11 • Timezone - Central • Best Availability - All day • Fave Villager/NPC - Cookie! <3 • Fave AC Game - New Leaf :) • A little about you -I've been married for 8 years and I have 5 kids! I'm an Air Force Veteran :). I love tattoos, music, anime, reading, coffee, and helping people! I suffer from resting bitch face, PTSD, and anxiety. I'm generally really nice until someone messes with my family (both IRL and my Addicts family <3).

Head Services Admin: @chibi-bat

Name: Keisha

Nickname:Red 🦇 Age: 24 💜 Birthday: July 20th 🦇 Timezone: PST 💜 Best Availability: Anytime 🦇 Favorite Villager: Gayle & Lucky 💜 Favorite AC Game: New Leaf 🦇 A Little About Me: I am a natural redhead, a mother of 2 boys and have been with my soul mate for 7 years. (We are officially getting married October 27, 2018) We also have a Jack Russell called Kaia. I love video games, am currently obsessed with Paladins & Overwatch. My dream is to become a published author! I am obsessed with bats, foxes, and all things spooky. My favorite time of the year is fall and I love when it rains. 🎃

Head Landscaper:

🌸 Name • Laird Deanna 🌸 Nickname • Marshmallow Melli (Long story) 🌸 Age • 27 🌸 Birthday • 3rd April 1991 🌸 Timezone • GMT 🌸 Best Availability • Evenings and late nights. 🌸 Fave Villager/NPC • Stitches and Sable 🌸 Fave AC Game • New Leaf by far 🌸 A little about you • I come from one of the largest clans in Scotland and proud of it. I also followed in my families footsteps and am a trained seamstress. I make a lot of clothes for myself, headbands, turn up trousers so they don't drag on the floor cuz I'm a short ass, even made a couple of quilts in my time (currently planning another one)

Co-Head Landscaper:

• Name - Stephanie • Nickname - Don’t really have one but I dislike being called Steph! • Age - 27 • Birthday - January 14th • Timezone - CST • Best Availability - Evenings/Nights/Weekends • Fave Villager/NPC - Ankha & Labelle • Fave AC Game - New Leaf 🍃 • A little about you - I’m a pharmacy technician, licensed esthetician and video game addict. I loooooove cats and baking is my favorite hobby besides ACNL 😍😝

Mods

Alanys. 🌌Nickname: Ally or Marie. 💜 🌠Age: 16. 🌌Birthday: October 18th. 🎃 🌠Timezone: AST. 🌌Availability: 3:30 pm to 10:30pm on weekdays, 12:00pm to around 3:00am on weekends. 🌠Fave villagers/npc: Marshal, Merengue, Étoile (even though I'll never get her card 😥😭) and Resetti. 🌌Fave ac game: New leaf. 🍃 🌠A little about me: I'm from Puerto Rico, I speak spanish and love to teach people about it if they ask, I'm going to uni next year and I absolutely want to be a psychologist. I love to help people and hear a thank you, and for some reason I like to hold doors open for everyone. 😂 I love to read about anything Greek mythology, and sometimes I create my own characters based on it. 🏛 My fav games are Resident Evil 4, Metal Gear Solid, God Of War, Danganronpa and two games on my phone called Mystic Messenger and DBZ Dokkan Battle. My fav food is pasta! 🍝 I hate coffee, but I love hot chocolate, and I have a thing for strawberries, strawberry frappes/smoothies and strawberry popsicles. 🍓 I love spending time with my bf and my mom, mostly when I acompany her to go shopping or help her cook! I like watching cooking videos even though I can burn water. 😂 Other than my main hobbies, I like to read/write fanfics, look at memes, listen to music, dance, and play with babies and animals. 💕 Used to want to be a part time babysitter too haha! 💜 And I also love anything related to the galaxy. 🌌💕

Andrea Nickname🌻 •Andi Age🌼 •19 Birthday💫 •30.12.98 Time zone✨ •UTC + 2 Best availability⚡️ •Depends, but normally 12 pm - 8 pm Fave villager/NPC🌷 •Bob is by far my favourite villager! He is my baby. My favourite NPC would be Isabelle, she’s so sweet. Fave AC game🌟 •New Leaf A little about me😸 I love cats. Almost everything I own is cat related. I currently work in a kindergarten (whenever someone is sick I come in), but my dream is to become a dementia nurse. I’m engaged and we live together in a small apartment in Northern Norway. I struggle with my mental health, but I try my best to beat it and do my best to help out in our lovely group. When I don’t play AC or do admin stuff I play other games (Skyrim, Pokèmon) or watch Netflix😎

Ashleigh

🌺 Nickname: Ash 💖Age: 23 🌺Birthday: 19/12 💖Timezone: ACDT 🌺Best Availability: Anytime 💖Fave Villager/NPC: Bluebear 🌺Fave AC Game: New Leaf 💖A little about you: Other than ACNL, I love playing Sims 4 and Pokemon. My favourite Pokemon happens to be lucario.

Ava

🌈Nickname: Vee 🌺Age: 15 (Mentally 5) 🌈Birthday: January 1, 2003 🌺Timezone: CDT (CST during winter) 🌈Best Availability: I’m available about 70% of the time when I’m not in school 🌺Fave Villager/NPC: Favorite villager is Bob (we share the same birthday!) and my favorite NPC is Isabelle 🌈Fave AC Game: New Leaf 🌺A little about me: Starting in September, I will be a sophomore in high school. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I’m in a very unhealthy relationship with my boyfriend but I’m staying in it anyway because I find it too hard to break up with him. My parents are divorced, so I live with my mom until I am old enough to legally move out, but that doesn’t bother me since I get to live with my three year old sister (I swear she’s the most adorable thing ever) and I’m looking forward to having a baby brother sometime near September! I love video games (but nothing can beat Animal Crossing, in my opinion). I also love hanging with friends, reading, and coffee! And of course, the Addicts family❤️

Berkeley

• Nickname: Borkeley, Jo • Age: 23 • Birthday:June 28th, I'm a cancer! • Timezone: EST • Best Availability: Anytime really. • Fave Villager/NPC: Lily + Sable • Fave AC Game: New Leaf or Population Growing • A little about you: I'm a married cat mom, I'm a twitch streamer + i love Gavin Free. Thats about it!

Christina

• Nickname - Chriss or Vicko • Age - 21 • Birthday - July 24th • Timezone - UTC - 6 CST • Best Availability - Mornings and at night • Fave Villager/NPC - For NPC's, Kapp'n and the Porter, for villagers uff I have lots but specially, Molly and Muffy 　. • Fave AC Game - New leaf • A little about you - I love potatoes, anime and manga :3 , also I'm a student from college, I love doing pics editions, draws and such, so if you guys ever need help with thigns related to this, you now know who to call ;) I also can give spanish classes 😝

Emma • Nickname: I don’t really have one but if you call me Em I’m fine with that! • Age: 24 • Birthday: 16th of December • Timezone: PST • Best Availability: Evenings, nights, and weekends • Fave Villager/NPC: Tex and Lottie! • Fave AC Game: New Leaf 😍 • A little about you: I’m a substitute teacher and I’m in the process of going back to school to get my teaching degree! I hope to be an English teacher at either a middle school or a high school. I love reading and writing and I’m really passionate about sleeping 😂

Hanna Nickname: none Age: 22 Birthday: 4th August 1996 Timezone: GMT (Germany) Best Availability: most of the time, but the highest chance is in the evening Fave villager/NPC: Colton, Lobo Fave Ac Game: New Leaf A little about you: My AC passion started with ACWW and I also love Pokémon (Eevee is my fav) and other RPGs like Skyrim and Fallout. I also love my pets (I have a lot^^), reading books and draw some stuff. I’m a student and study the science of language and and literature (but mostly german literature).

 Hannah 👑 Nickname: Han 👑 Age: 24 👑 Birthday: Feb 7th 👑 Timezone: GMT/BST 👑 Best Availability: Evenings and Weekends 👑 Fave Villager/NPC: Chrissy & Cookie, Celeste 👑 Fave AC Game: New Leaf 👑 A little about you: My favourite Pokemon has always been and will always be Vulpix, so when Alolan Vulpix was revealed I lost my shit. I have anime, I write fanfiction, I write stories and edit for a living, I play a lot of other games like League of Legends, World of Warcraft, Persona, Bloodborne - you name it I've probably played it, I love sunflowers and roses, Sailor Moon is my life and aesthetic forever, and finally, I have three cats <3

Jennifer  • Nickname: Jen or Jenny • Age: 21 • Birthday: February 9th • Timezone: UK, GMT • Best Availability: Late night • Fave Villager/NPC : Whitney and Skye • Fave AC Game : New leaf • A little about you I work in retail maybe 2 days a week, I love animals, Disney, games, drawing, reading and writing. Im self teaching guitar and writing songs as a hobby. Tryng to be a vegetarian which is going well, haven't ate meat in a week, yay. The tv shows I like vary in type, I like: The walking daed, Once upon a time and A series of unfortunate events. Movies I like are mostly Disney , the lion king most of all. I also love animals , especially my dog Amber. I do hope to run my own business to rehalibitate pets and wild animals to find homes and re release the healed ones back into the wild. I also appreciate kind and loyal people 💜

Mollie 💖 Nickname: MolflakeMagic (my main gamer tag & online name) 💚 Age: 19 💖 Birthday: December 1st 💚 Timezone: GMT / BST (UK) 💖 Best Availability: Currently Afternoons through to Night unless I'm with family or my boyfriend :3 💚 Fave Villager / NPC: Goldie!! 😍😊 💖 Fave AC Game: Animal Crossing City Folk 😍😊 💚 A little about me: I'm generally very goofy and always looking to make people laugh and smile. I'm currently preparing to move to Nottingham to study at University in September, so essentially preparing to be an official adulty adult xD I play lots of League in my spare time but also love to design on New Leaf, and I'm currently working on completing all the collections for the museum. I also love to dance and I'm also currently starting to learn Japanese :3 When not with my goofball boyfriend or at home, you can usually find me at my grandparents with my doggy Poppy 😍😊

Panyia 🎀 Nickname: Pan/Panini/Pancakes 🎀 Age: 20 🎀 Birthday: Feb. 16th 🎀 Timezone: PST (soon to be HST) 🎀 Best Availability: Depends, usually 12pm - 10 pm 🎀 Fave Villager/NPC: Coco/Celeste 🎀 Fave AC Game: New Leaf 🎀 A little about you: I’m soon-to-be engaged, going to be moving in with my partner very soon. Im usually playing any Harvest Moon game series when I’m not playing AC and helping out with the group. I’ve played other games but it’s too many to name lol. I love watching anime too! They all help me with my mental health and depression, which I try not to let them get to me when I’m helping out with our group ❤️

Ruth 🌸Age: 21 🌸Birthday: 25th December 🌸Timezone: BST/GMT 🌸Best Availability: Usually evenings or any day that I’m off work 🌸Fave villager/NPC: Apple and my fave npc is Kicks ❤️ 🌸Fave AC Game: New Leaf 🌸 A Little about me: I have lived in the south west part of the uk all of my life with my parents and older brother. I love cats so much, I used to have a black cat called Twinkle but he was very ill and passed away from a heart murmur at only 7 years old. I now have a calico called Poppy who I love very much ❤️ I have suffered from anxiety and depression, with the occasional severe migraine (to the point I passed out) since 2013 (but thank goodness I’m nowhere near as bad now) I also love an incredible KPop band called BTS (you may have heard me talk about them already 😛) and playing games like Animal Crossing and Zelda ❤️ Sorry I’m rambling now 😂😂 

[theticklishpear]

NaNo Chat with Pear!

Thanks to those who reached out with interest in continuing a small, quiet, sleepy, chill NaNoWriMo chat — I look forward to seeing you all again and writing with you.

The Chatzy room is officially open and ready for you all!

Click on through and enter nano2020withpear for the password.

You do not need a Chatzy account to participate.

Please use your Tumblr handle as your username if you can; it will help me keep track of who’s who.

The room will be open 24/7 throughout November, but I will be there to moderate from 10 AM-midnight EST as I can. (time zone converter) Please note that as an ML for my region, plus an exceptionally busy time at my day job, and of course the opportunity for other unforeseen life circumstances, there will be some times and some nights I cannot be there. From 7-8 PM EST, I am usually driving home; Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings I will not be there due to regional write-ins; weekends, I usually can’t hop in until ~2-3 PM EST due to regional events and doing chores. I’m human, and while I’ll try my best, life is sometimes very busy.

Please be respectful while in the room. I want this to be a good environment for you all as you write. I reserve the right to kick you out if your behavior is detrimental to either the morale or work of those in the room. I don’t want to do that, but if it’s clear that you aren’t there to write, or you’re not being supportive of others, I will bring that boot to bear. Trolling, flaming, anti-LGBTQNIA+ sentiments, racism, antisemitism, etc. will not be tolerated.

Here are some things to expect while in the room:

Encouragement: Who better than your friendly mod Pear and other writers in the same struggle to cheer you on?

Prompts: Can’t seem to get started? Come ask for a prompt to work on for the day to help get your brain in gear.

Challenges: Prompts too constraining? Challenges will give you a couple of fun items to work toward integrating into your day’s work.

Word Sprints: These mini, not-actually-a-competition competitions require more than just me in the chat room. When there’s more than me, and all are interested, I’ll set a timer for 10, 15, 20, or 30 minutes depending on how enthusiastic or distracted we’re feeling. We write like mad for that amount of time, and when the timer goes off, we compare our word counts. A little encouragement, a little mind-break to peruse the internet, and then back to work! These continue to be a big hit each year and really boost daily counts.

I look forward to seeing you all there! -Pear

P.S. I won’t be in there until ~2-3 PM EST on the U.S.’s November 1st as I’ll be busy hosting my region’s Midnight Countdown and then running a few errands before being able to get back.

Tagging a few folks who’d expressed interest: @noellelefey, @cenneidi, @beezarre, @angrylittlesliceofpizza, @katt-writes

[therangeismyhappyplace]

As someone who both lives in a poor family with my dad and sister, and someone who has a metabolic and hormonal disease that causes weight gain. This is what some people don’t get. I’m 16 and a work at least 20 hours a week. Whether that’s extracurricular activities that my grandmother brings me to, because my dad is working, or at work. I get home and I have to clean. My sister is, admittedly, going through a stage in her life (she’s 11) where she thinks everything’s falls onto her to do. It bothers me, but I’m older so I grin and bare it. So when I get home, I do dishes, clean the house, do laundry, whatever needs to be done. When I’m done with all that is generally when my dad gets home. Around 8-10 pm, 6-7 on a good night. At this point in time either I have made dinner and my sister and I have eaten something along the lines of spaghetti with homemade sauce I make yearly with my aunts or maybe something we threw in the air fryer (a gift from my aunt). If we didn’t do that, my dad brings something home, generally from McDonald’s or Wendy’s or something along those lines. After that it’s showers and bed to resart the day.

My time to do all of this gets cut in half once school starts, I also have to quit work when that happens. So we don’t have my extra income. So now I have to do all of that in half the time while fighting with my sister to do her homework and give me her dirty clothes so I can wash them. I then also have to get my homework done. Do you know how much sleep the average teenager needs? Around 10-12 hours. If I go to bed at midnight and have to wake up at 7 am to repeat the day, do you think I have the energy to make a night meal for my family? No. I don’t. So you can shove your ‘healthy food is better AND cheaper’ up your own ass. Because I don’t have the time, resources, or energy to do it.

We can even break it down a bit, if youd like. 7am I get up for school, don’t leave until 3:30. In that time I’m joggin up and down stairs, weaving through crowds of people, getting yelled at for being too slow, etc. when I get home, let’s say I have 3 hours to do all the housework. That brings us to 6pm. Still an appropriate time to eat dinner, yeah? It takes an hour to make most healthy dishes, sometimes longer. So at the least that brings us to 7 when we eat. If we eat together as a family we get to 8pm, if not 7:30. After dinner is put away and dishes are done, another half hour has gone by. Now it’s time for homework, showers, and bed. Which, depending on if homework has been done already or not, can take anywhere from 2-3 hours. Now we’re at 10:30, bed time, right? No. Now it’s time for me to do my homework. Book work, essays, math. Dear lord, math. I’m terrible at it, always have been. I’ve had tutors help and they’ve quit. I’m just so bad at it. So that takes me forever. We now have computers this year, which means added online work which equals more migraines for me. Yay. So now it’s at least midnight if not 2am, I have a migraine and I can’t sleep. Insomnia and night terrors. So I end up passing out around 5am. I get two hours of sleep and have to start again.

Maybe you’re wondering why I have to take so long to clean if I do it every day, and my answer is that my dad leaves his work clothes lying around and my sister is a slob. I have two dogs that like to get into things and I have no help with any of it. Fun, right? So no, don’t come for me with eating better when I’m working my ass off as is.

I’m sorry I ranted. I just kind of went off. But my point is that if you’re not in the situation, shut the hell up about it.

[prodyoongi]

tagged by @mostlymin! Thank youuu!!  I’ll tag @jimincubus​ @sweetopiaa​ @uchyu​ @clairelions​

LAST

1. drink - sprite 

2. 📱call - my brother bc I lost him in Target lmao

3. text - mom

4. song you listened to - So What, BTS (lmao it just came out on SSBTS, so I played it)

4. time you 😢- honestly idek. I don’t cry often.

HAVE YOU EVER

6. dated someone twice - no

7. 😘 someone & regretted it - oh my god yes, I had 1 kiss open the biggest can of worms in the world and it was not worth it

8. been cheated on - nope

9. lost someone special - my soulmate :(

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - I’ve gotten drunk a few times, but only once to throwing up. That’s.......a story lmao.

FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. mauve

13. pale pink

14. olive green

15. black

in the last year have you

16. made new friends - Mhm :)

17. fallen out of love - I haven’t been in love this year, so no

18. 😂 until you 😢- I did on Sunday

19. found out someone was talking about you - yeah lmao 

20. met someone who changed you - umm....does a boss count? I guess?

21. found out who your friends were - I found out who they weren’t

22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - nope

GENERAL

23. how many friends from your facebook friends list do you know irl - all of them except for like 5 or 6

24. do you have any pets - my puppy Kevin

25. do you want to change your middle name - No, sometimes I wish it was my first name

26. what did you do for your last birthday - nothing really *shruggg* had some cake. 

27. what time did you wake up today - 9:30 am

28. what were you doing last night at midnight - watching a KDrama with my sister

29. what is something you can’t wait for - KCon & the BTS concert!

30. what are you listening to right now - no music, master chef on TV

31. have you every talked to a person named tom - yup, and I have a new baby cousin named Tommy

32. something that gets on your nerves - people chewing, esp ice

33. most visited website - this, youtube, and twitter probably

34. hair color - dark brown

35. long hair or short hair - long, sometimes when I sit I feel my hair tickling the inside of my waistband

36. do you have a crush on someone - yeah and it’s literally pointless, so I redirect the energy to my biases

37. what do you like about yourself - my personality/discipline, my hair, my lips, and my skin

38. want any piercings - I have my ears pierced but I want more ear piercings

39. blood type - I think A or AB, I don’t remember

40. nicknames - Jay is a nickname actually. some work friends call me queen/queenie. 

41. relationship status - single af

42. zodiac - sagittarius (capricorn moon & scorpio rising, which are more accurate than sagittarius sun imho)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. favorite 📺 show - south park

45. tattoos - none but Im developing one. It’ll be bts themed and double as a memorial to the above mentioned soulmate that passed away. I also want one that says bapsae in hangul, for a few reasons.

46. right handed or left - right handed

47. ever had surgery - yes, eye & oral surgery

48. piercings - lobes

49. sports - I watch baseball p much every day and played & coached softball

50. vacation - my best vacation was my month long tour of England. My friend is trying to organize a trip in 2019 to vietnam, korea, and singapore for us though.

51. trainers - I think this is referring to shoes lmao. I have a pink suede pair of adidas.

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - nothing. I haven’t actually eaten today and it’s 10 pm. something I take in the morning curbs my appetite heavily and I forget to eat every day unless I’m made to.

53. drinking - nothing, but I’m gunna get some tea.

54. i’m about to watch - I’m gunna watch a kdrama with my sister soon

55. waiting for - kcon

56. want - hm....something cold to drink. The thing I take also gives me dry mouth.

57. get married - ive always imagined myself getting married at 28. Idk why. I’m single tho so. idk, marriage isn’t high on my priority list.

58. career - advanced english teacher :)

WHICH IS BETTER

59. kisses or hugs - kisses. I had a kiss dream last night andddddd yeah.

60. 👄 or eyes - I’ve noticed that lips/smiles were the first think I noticed on all my biases (yoongi, vernon, yukhei) so lips

61. shorter or taller - everyone is taller than me so its not even a question. 

62. older or younger - i don’t care. I’ve actually only dated people younger than me.

63. nice arms or stomach - arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship.

65. troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker.

HAVE YOU EVER

66. 😘 a stranger - nope

67. drank hard liquor - yes.

68. lost glasses - uhh...idk if I’ve ever lost sunglasses, but i don’t have regular glasses

69. (oof). turned someone down - many times.

70. sex on a first date - hard no

71. broken someone’s ❤️- many times. not proud of it, but it’s all people I’ve given fair warning so i’m not stressed over it

72. had your 💔- yes.

73. been arrested - lmao no

74. 😢 when someone died - more than I’ve ever cried in my life

75. fallen for a friend - kinda? no close friends tho.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - yes

77. miracles - yes. they aren’t common, but yeah.

78. 💛at first sight - nooooo. maybe attraction at first sight, but definitely not love.

79. 🎅- no

80. 😘on a first date - uhhh, depends honestly. especially depends on how I knew the person prior. Like if it was someone I had been pining over for a while, and it was the first time on a date, sure. If it was like a blind date, prob not, but who knows?

81. angels - 200000% yes, it’s like the foundation of my religion and identity. I couldn’t cope if I didn’t.

other

82. best friends name - her name was harmonie, and she won’t stop being my best friend just because she’s no longer on earth.

83. eye color - almost black

84. favorite movie - the godfather

85. favorite actor - leonardo dicaprio

[gottlostill]

85-Questions-Meme

I was tagged by @fayn3ko, Danke pal!

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— what was your last…

1. drink: water, had to make my meds 2. phone call: mutti, I called to ask if she needed something from the store 3. text message: mutti again 4. song you listened to: I am currently listening to Halt by Rammstein 5. time you cried: this morning, I was in a lot of pain

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. been cheated on: yeah.... 9. lost someone special: I’ve lost many people/animals that were special 10. been depressed: I am currently 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve been drunk, but not thrown up

— fave colours

12. Celestial 13. Teal blue 14. Persian Jewel

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: yes 17. laughed until you cried: so many times 18. found out someone was talking about you: in a bad way, yes  19. met someone who changed you: yes! 20. found out who your friends are: of course 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Hell no

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: All of them

23. do you have any pets: I have a tabby named Meadow and a leopard gecko named Bacon 

24. do you want to change your name: I’ve always prefered by middle name to my actual name, so yea

25. what did you do for your last birthday: It was my 21st and we went to German restaurant and I drank and ate so much, I was in heaven!

26. what time did you wake up today: Don’t judge but 12:30 pm (I would until midnight most nights and I don’t get to sleep until very early in the morning because of my insomnia)

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: getting off of work and coming home

28. what is something you can’t wait for: finishing my first book!

30. what are you listening to right now: I am listening to my Neue Deutsche Härte playlist (mainly Rammstein, Lindemann, Emigrate)

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I have a neighbor and a coworker both named Tom, so yes!

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: people attempting to talk to me when I clearly do not want to talk to anyone (88.7% of the time I am having anxiety or depression problems and just cannot physically or emotionally hold a conversation, I don’t do this often)

33. most visited website: Tumblr, AO3 and Youtube

34. hair colour: dirty blonde, but can look very dark brown when wet or up in a pony tail

35. long or short hair: it’s almost long, but not quite there. I use to have very short hair, but I wanted to grow it out, and I’m regretting the decision

36. do you have a crush on someone: I’ve had a crush on a coworker for a while, but they did something really stupid and I stopped talking to them and now its a huge mess.

37. what do you like about yourself: how well I can listen and give advice to people and how I made super bad jokes all the time

38. want any piercings: I want all the piercings, but I am planning on getting an industrial very soon

39. blood type: O-, I’m the opposite of a vampire

40. nicknames: my mom calls me sarah-beara a lot and I hate it. A coworker calls me that too but hes practically my grandpa so I accept it. I got the nickname Little from work as well because I am the shortest person there. 

41. relationship status: single and ready to mingle (with people who also have social anxiety)

42. sign: virgo

43. pronouns: I prefer they/them, but because I’m not out yet, I accept any (for now)

44. fave tv show: Murdoch Mysteries, Canadian Mystery tv show and its amazing

45. tattoos: not yet, but again maybe soon

46. right or left handed: right 47: ever had surgery: not yet (I still have my wisdom teeth so who knows) 48. piercings: just my ear lobs 49. sport: I use to play tennis and volleyball

50. vacation: I love road trips, but I’ve never been outside of the US. Ohio is my favorite state to travel in. 

51. trainers: like shoes? I wear comfy black and grey slip on shoes.

— more general

52. eating: all the food, I’d kill for some garlic bread right now

53. drinking: I am a tea fanatic, I drink it all the time, but I also love a good soda

54. i’m about to watch: uh, nothing right now

55. waiting for: the new Rammstein album

56. want: a cuddle buddy tbh

57. get married: sure, if I find someone appropriate

58. career: it’s currently a giant joke, but I hope to be a writer some day

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: Never been kissed and I only enjoy hugs from people I know, so hugs I guess?

60. lips or eyes: eyes!

61. shorter or taller: shorter (I’m 5′4″, I need someone on the shorter side for cuddling)

62. older or younger: older

63. nice arms or stomach: arms duh

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: I’m a troublemaker if I can get away with it

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: does my mom count? 67. drank hard liquor: yes, I love vodka and captain 68. turned someone down: yes

69. sex on first date: I don’t even want it on the 3rd or 4th even (also a date first would be nice)

70: broken someone’s heart: I hope not!

71. had your heart broken: yeppp

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: yes/no

74. fallen for a friend: me right now

— do you believe in

75. yourself: sometimes

76. miracles: not really

77. love at first sight: sure

78. santa claus: lol my dad is santa claus

79. angels: maybe...

— misc

80. eye colour: hazel 81. best friend’s name: Bailey

82. favourite movie: The Shawshank Redemption

83. favourite actor: Any Marvel Movie actor, god they are all so great

84. favourite cartoon: I don’t watch cartoons sorry

85. favourite teacher’s name: Mr. Muennix, my German teacher. 

Uh let me see. I tag @babypaulchen @rammboner @bloodylullaby @sturmxundxdrang @deine-neue-welt @sombradorada @bishophazel only if you guys want to do it of course!

[kayliemusing]

15

Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? - Technically open, but it’s usually open by just a crack.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? - No

Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? - No

Where is your next vacation? - I think my mom, sister and I are planning to go to Disneyland soon but we have to wait until all of this covid nonsense is over.

Have you ever stolen a street sign before? - No and why would you do that??

Who do you think reads these? - No one on my blog.

Do you have a calendar in your room? - No, but I used to!

Where are you? - on my couch 

What’s your plan for the day? - It’s nearly 7 pm so I’ll just rehash my not-exciting day. I woke up at 6, got to work at 8, got off work at 12, decided to go to the dollarstore but car got stuck in the snow for a panicking 30 seconds, we (i was with the sis) went to the dollarstore and grabbed some candy and went home. I watched Youtube for about an hour, listened to some music, read for a while, and now I’m taking this survey to relax before I try to squeeze in some writing.

Are you reading any books right now? - Yes! Right now I’m reading the Serpent and Dove series by Shelby Mahurin. I’m on book 2 called Blood and Honey.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk? - No

Have you ever peed in the woods? - No. One time I was camping with my friend though and she tried to get me to do it because I really needed to go to the washroom but I was too scared that a spider would crawl up my ass lmao

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? - I mean I occassionally twirl to the music in my head when I’m by myself lmao

Do you chew your pens and pencils? - No

What is your “Song of the Week”? - Probably Coney Island by Taylor Swift ft The National

Is it okay for guys to wear pink? - Yes. It’s just a colour. 

Do you still watch cartoons? - Mostly animation movies. The only cartoon I’ll watch when I’m sad or lonely is Spongebob lol

Whats your favorite love movie? - I really like You’ve Got Mail and To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

What do you drink with dinner? - Because I’m not a super healthy person I’ll drink pop lol

What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in? - Sweet and Sour sauce or Honey Mustard sauce OR plum sauce

What is your favorite food/cuisine? I love Cheesecake! As for a cuisine, I really like Chinese food or Italian.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? - A Christmas Carol (2009), Hamilton, The Greatest Showman, You’ve Got Mail, Clueless

Last person you hugged/kissed? - I don’t remember the last person I’ve actually hugged because ~miss rona~

Were you ever a boy/girl scout? - No

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? - No

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? - I’m writing all the time and I especially see a lot of my poetry as letters, but it’s usually addressed to whoever’s reading/audience/my journal. 

Can you change the oil on a car? - No. I don’t have my own car yet, and I think my mom or dad showed me once but I’ve never done it since and that was years ago.

Ever gotten a speeding ticket? - Actually no!! 

Run out of gas? - I’ve been really low, as in didn’t know if I was going to make it to the gas station, but I’ve never completely run empty on it.

Favorite kind of sandwich? - I really like BLT’s.

Best thing to eat for breakfast? - McGriddles from McDonalds, but if we’re being practical I love eating bagels with strawberry cream cheese because it’s quick and easy

What is your usual bedtime? - I usually hop into bed about 10-11 pm, but I usually read for a couple hours so technically I’m not asleep until about midnight or 1 am.

Are you lazy? - Incredibly and I hate it about me.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? - A few things! I remember dressing up as a bumble bee and I loved that costume because it was like a little dress with bee wings!

Do you have any magazine subscriptions? - No

Which are better, legos or lincoln logs? - I don’t know what a lincoln log is.

Are you stubborn? - Yes

Who is better…Leno or Letterman? - Neither, both are low key rude

Ever watch soap operas? - No

Afraid of heights? - A little bit. 

Sing in the car? - Yes

Dance in the shower? - No

Dance in the car? - No. I’ll drum my fingers on my steering wheel but that’s as far as it goes hahah

Ever used a gun? - No

Do you think musicals are cheesy? - No, I love them

Is Christmas stressful? - A little bit. I love Christmas, but I get stressed about it because I work in retail so I find people actually more crabbier at that time most likely because of stress. I do get stressed over money at Christmas time though, except I’m generally enjoying the season so it’s not too bad.

Ever eat a pierogi? - Yes, my grandma makes them the best

Major annoyance right now? - I’m feeling pretty okay right now. I guess I wish my writing was going better, but whatev.

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? - Hairdresser and I wanted to own a pet adoption center/pet hospital hahaha

Do you believe in ghosts? - No

Ever have a deja-vu feeling? - Sometimes

Do you take a vitamin daily? - No

Wear slippers? - No, but I do wear reading socks so it’s kind of the same thing? Keeps my feet toasty!

Wear a bath robe? - No

What do you wear to bed? - PJ’s.

Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart? - Wal-Mart

Nike or Adidas? - I don’t really have a preference. I don’t know much about either brand, but I guess Nike?

Cheetos Or Fritos? - Cheetos

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? - Peanuts

Ever hear of, “gorp”? - No

Ever taken karate? - No

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - No

Can you curl your tongue? - Yes

Ever won a spelling bee? - No, I’ve never been in one.

Ever cried because you were so happy? - I’ve never full on cried, but I’ve been teary.

Own any record albums? - No

Own a record player? - No but I want one!!

Regularly burn incense? - No

Ever been in love? - With fictional characters mostly.

Hot tea or cold tea: - Hot, I guess, but I’m not a fan of either really.

Tea or coffee? - Neither, blah!

Favorite kind of cookie? - Chocolate Chip

Can you swim well? - Not really. Deep water is a fear of mine, so I never really learned to swim well. I feel like I could manage not to drown but I would struggle lol

Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose? - Yes

Are you patient? - I think so

Ever won a contest? - Yes, but small contests like at work.

Ever had plastic surgery? - No

Which are better black or green olives? - Black

Can you knit or crochet? - No, but I wanted to learn to crochet!!

Wash room or bathroom? - I say both ways, I don’t really know if it’s different or not.

Do you want to get married? - Yes, but I don’t think anyone could fall in love with me

Who was your High School crush? - I never had a severe high school crush and it was mostly guys I saw in the hallway or in class that I thought were cute lol. I never hung out with them or knew them. They were just pretty strangers.

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? - No, but when I was young...that’s another story

Do you have kids? - No

Do you want kids? - I don’t really know. I don’t want them but I don’t not want them either. I can’t make up my mind lol.

What kind of mom are you? - I’m not one, but I think I’m pretty maternal so I feel like I would be a caring and protective mom.

Do you miss anyone right now? - Not terribly, but I’m always missing someone or something.

Who do you want to see right now? - No one at the moment.

[onewheelneil]

My first 3 days

Day 1: Today I started my Appalachian trail thru hike journey. I woke up at hotel in Dawsonville, GA from sitting in a car, that my parents were so graciously driving, all day yesterday. We had an exquisite dinner the night before and my tummy wasn’t feeling well. I woke up at 7 am and took a nice long hot shower since I wouldn’t be having one in a long while. It was good for a hotel shower and I was thoroughly cleaned. I brushed and flossed as well. Afterwards my parents took turns doing their morning ritual and we left the hotel around 8:30 pm. We stopped at a breakfast place and a grocery store before heading to the trail. By that time my stomach was feeling better. Once we got to the visitors center I had a little orientation with several other thru hikers and were showed a new method to hang our food so bears couldn’t get it. After that I was off! My parents joined me to the top of the Amicalola Falls and after some pictures and hugging I was by myself for the rest of the 7 miles to the start of the Appalachian trail. It doesn’t start at the visitors center it starts at the summit of spring mountain which is an 8.8 miles climb from the visitors center. So I technically haven’t started the trail yet. Once I got started from the falls where my parents sent me off I was going at a nice pace and my legs fell into a rhythm and the pain from going up the falls seemed to melt away. I crossed some other hikers when the trail crossed a gravel road and kept going up. They were looking beat and I stopped to have a quick drink of water. We talked a bit but then I started cooling down which I didn’t want to do yet. So I kept going. I got back into my rhythm and got up a quite steep part until it went flat for a while. It was nice listening to nature through my grunts and breathing and hearing nothing. It was awesome. The farther I got the more I hurt. My legs were aching and my lower back was complaining but I kept on trudging. Of course it got to a point where I had to stop and eat some trail mix and more water. After finishing the trail mix from several stops I was almost there. I also had to sit down a few times to rest my legs. Eventually I made it to the to of springer mountain. There was one point where I crested a hill and was looking at the summit from below where I thought “that cannot be the summit its too far”. But of course I was wrong and walked up it anyway. After resting at the top I started down the actual Appalachian trail. I was beat so I decided to set up camp near the shelter 100 yards from the summit. It didn’t take long and it was well marked. I set up my hammock and put my sleeping bag and pad in to weigh it down as it likes to flip over when empty. Then I got my med kit out to put some mole skin on some parts of my foot that were getting rubbed. After that I got my food out and heated up some water to cook it. Tonight was chili with beef dehydrated by my loving mother so all I had to do was boil water and pour it in there. While it was cooking I started to shiver as the wind picked up and a drizzle started. I had on my gloves and my long johns and my fleece and my rain gear but I was still cold. Wishing I had my ski jacket but knowing that it would be way too bulky and heavy. Once the water was boiling not even a minute later I poured it over my food and let it sit in the food cozy my mom sewed together herself. She treats me well. There were lots of other people at the campsite and one of them even had a dog but it was very protective and would growl at you if you got near the owner. Still a good boy. I ate my chili after it had rehydrated and then climbed into my hammock because everyone else was retreating to their sleeping bags to get out of the cold. I laid down inside and just felt my body slowly warm up but the wind kept chilling my butt and I wished I had an under quilt. I’ll buy one maybe at the next town and see where I can fit it. The rain slowly tapered off until it was only drops falling from the trees blown by the wind. It was after dark then and I slipped into a warm cold sleep.

Day 2: This morning sucked. I was woken at midnight by a cold wind that sent shivers up and down my body. I also had to pee really badly but I didn’t want to get out of my sleeping bag knowing it was much colder outside it. I tried to fall asleep and I must have been successful because th next time I woke up was at 4 am. I noticed that all the condensation that happens from you breathing with a rain fly above your head was frozen to the ceiling of my hammock. You see my hammock is basically a floating coffin with an insulated bottom and a rain fly that encloses me in a protective cocoon from wind and rain. Unfortunately it was way below 32 and it doesn’t protect me from sheer cold. My sleeping bag is rated for 20 degrees so it must of been below that as well. At 4 I begrudgingly got myself out of the hammock tiptoed to a tree and pissed on it. Then I scurried back into a relatively warmer hammock except it wasn’t warm enough for me to fall back asleep. I just lay with my eyes closed trying different positions trying to get warm. I put my rain pants on and put my rain jacket over my sleeping bag to protect it a little from the eventual drops of the frozen condensation when it warms up in the morning. I changed my alarm from 7 am to 8:30 thinking I could get a little sleep after sunrise instead of getting up at sunrise. So when 8:30 comes around i tell myself there’s no reason to stay inside any longer. I start to unzip my bag as my brain is telling me “WHAT ARE YOU DOING ITS COLDER OUT THER YA DINGUS” but I ignore him. As I get outside I look around and everything is frozen. Every branch is covered in ice and even my hammock is covered too. I quickly put my rain coat on to warm myself up and do some exercises to get warmer. I jog in place and stretch before starting to pack camp. I even make some tea to help with the cold. I try to eat my breakfast of cliff bars but they were frozen solid so I put them in my inner pockets to warm them up. I pack everything back into my pack and set off knowing I’ll warm up faster from hiking. While I’m hiking the wind is blowing the ice off the branches in wood chip sizes. It was like walking past a wood chipper when it spews the wood out. But ice was falling on me instead. Sometimes it hurt but mostly it just fell on me harmlessly. I had most of my clothes on including my long johns and fleece and rain gear. It surprisingly didn’t become uncomfortably hot until mile 4. I had descended quite a bit from starting on top of spring we mountain and it was just raining from the branches down here. I passed many people and even several doggies. When I was changing out of my warm clothes a bunch of day hikers with their children came by asking how far I was going and when I replied they said to their children, “wow he’s better than all of us combined”. It brought a smile to my face. As I kept hiking along I stopped at one point to eat my breakfast and some beef jerky and just listened to nature. I was surprised no one passed by during that moment since there was so many people today. There was a pair of guys with a dog that kept playing leap frog with me. I asked them where they were headed and they said the same place as me but they didn’t know if they’d make it at their pace. I kept going knowing I’d see them again. Then I found a glorious sight. A big tent with oodles of food and water underneath it. A group of adults who had thru hiked before had set up a table and rain tarp and were handing out goodies. A bunch of other hikers were there already and while I was munching and drinking more hikers stopped by as well. We all talked about different things and at one point a guy asked me about my future and I said I was going to grad school for robotics. He replied, “Robotics?!?!?, you mean you wanna be responsible for sky net?” And one of his friends said, “Oh Terry shut it with that trash”. I chuckled and responded with, “No I want to help make sure skynet doesn’t happen”. That brought a few chuckles and the subject was changed after that. As soon as I was done I thanked them all and headed on my way determined to go 15 miles before sundown. But as it turns out that was a mistake. At around mile 8.5 my knee started giving out going down a hill so I stopped took it easy and rested. Then when I thought it was better I kept going. It wasn’t better and I gingerly limped hoping maybe taking some weight off it would be good but still gaining ground. Eventually it came to the point where I was limping painfully and after a frantic text to my mom and dad (I was lucky for any cell service) I staked camp at a little tent site about 4.5 miles from my destination. It hurt to put any weight on the knee so i just sat and elevated it on my sleeping pad. A couple hikers passed by and when they asked if I was camping here I told them of my predicament and one of them handed me an instant ice pack. It helped reduce some of the swelling and made it so I could get to work on setting up my hammock again. Before I set in for the night I had to put my food into a bear bag using the pct method. The method involves pulling your bag full of food up all the way to the branch then tying a stick in the middle of the rope so when you let go, the stick keeps the bag suspended and the bear can’t cut the string to get your food which they had now learned to do. It took me a while to find a branch suitable to carry my food since my food weight about 10 pounds and all the branches around here looking pretty flimsy. Eventually I found one and with a little difficulty, since it was my first time doing it, I had my food suspended in air. Afterwards I went back to my hammock jumped in and enjoyed the music of nature. I even took a video because there was a really loud bird of some sort making some weird noises. I thought it was an owl but let me know what you think. Then since it was going to rain again I closed up my rain fly just as the sun was setting. Before going to bed fully, I read my book a little bit until sleep took taking me by the hand into dreamland.

Day 3: Today I tried to hike on my hurt knee today but had no luck. I got myself to Horse Gap where the trail crossed a road. There many hikers passed me making sure I was okay with one hippie looking girl offering me some pot to ease my pain. I of course said no. I had called a cab company to come pick me up and take me to a drug store so I could pick up a knee brace. Luckily a local who helped thru hikers with their problems had happened by and agreed to let me hitch a ride with him. We drove to Coopers gap where he handed off some packs back to some other hikers who asked him to carry some weight for them. After meeting them and talking with other hikers that stopped to get some water from his truck we drove down to the town of Dahlonega. There we stopped at a Rite aid so I could get a knee brace and then to a motel where I got a room for the night since I wasn’t capable of getting back on the trail with my knee in this condition. It was a cheap motel called the Mountain Inn and I got a room for 65 dollars. So I cooped up and watched some TV and read a book to keep my knee healing. I iced it as well to reduce the swelling. I also got to hang my stuff over the shower to dry since my hammock and sleeping pad were wet from this mornings rainstorm. Hopefully the rest will help and I’ll be back on the trail tomorrow I already have a shuttle service booked to get me back to the trail so I can try again and this time take it slow. That’s all today I’ll update you on my progress tomorrow hopefully it won’t be bad enough to go back home.

[iwasthereason]

The Beginning

“I can’t breathe”.

These are the three little words that changed my life.

It was July 28, 2020, cold midnight when I woke up with this heavy feeling in my chest. I picked myself up from the bed and started breathing -- but I can’t. Panic rose, both my hands and feet are cold. I walked for a bit, trying to calm myself and get all the air I can. ‘What’s going on? What’s happening with me?’ I asked myself over and over again. Then I stopped and this dreaded question came to my mind ‘did I get infected with COVID?’

Prior to this happening, I remember eating Budae Jjigae (Korean Army Stew) twice in the last two weeks as it’s my go-to comfort food when I don’t feel okay - who wouldn’t feel good after eating noodles with spicy broth, SPAM, sausages, fish cake, and Kimchi? Well, I was nursing a broken heart so I gave myself a break and indulged. I have also eaten Indian food twice in a month. I went back to smoking, not eating on time, and drinking wine at night. Simply put -- I wasn’t living the right lifestyle.

Going back to that night, I messaged a friend about what’s happening and we talked for a while. I calmed for a little bit. Then the feeling went back again. Now, I messaged my then ex-boyfriend and told him about my condition. We were supposed to be on a break but I was in the moment of panic and desperation so I reached out. He replied and we talked for a long time. It was an odd start, but somehow he was able to calm me down and we talked until I fall asleep (he said I snored haha). The day went by like a normal day, though it was still hard to breathe and I’m feeling very low in energy so I made myself tons of hot tea with ginger and lemon and drowned myself with lots of water.

Days and weeks passed and the feeling came on and off -- there are times that I’m feeling all better and moments when I feel like I’m being suffocated. I can’t sleep well at night, sometimes I’d be waken up with strong palpitations or most of the time just waking up after only getting an hour of sleep. I’ve bought all the medical checking apparatus I can buy from a thermometer, digital and manual blood pressure monitors, and oximeter. I’ve not had any fevers, sore throat, my blood pressure was okay - the highest was only that one night (130/70) but usual was 110/70. I have tried everything I could from drinking hot tea with ginger and lemon, eating vegetables and fruits, hot compress, drinking Vitamin C, tons of water, still, episodes of anxiety and difficulty in breathing occurred. I’ve not told any of my closest friends, not even my family as I don’t want them to worry. The situation’s draining me mentally, physically, and emotionally. At that point in my life, I started praying to God.

I pleaded to him in my language, “Lord, wag po muna ngayon. Ayoko pa po mamatay. Kawawa naman po sila Mama at Papa, kailangan pa po nila ako. Lord, please, wag po muna” (Lord, don’t do this now. I don’t want to die yet. It’ll be a pity for Mama and Papa, they still need me. Lord, please, not now”). I cried hard. I remembered when I’d tell everyone “pag oras ko na, oras ko na” (when it’s my time to die, it’s my time to die). I was so wrong for saying that. I am not ready to die.

August 7, 2020 at 3:00 PM, I started feeling bad. I can’t breathe, my hands and feet are cold, I’m panicking/anxiety attack. I told myself, I need to tell my friends now else, this could be that day I fear. So, I messaged my best friend and told her about my situation. She immediately sent me a rapid test kit (for COVID), masks and face shield. When I got the kit, I calmed myself. I was on a call with my boyfriend and started doing the test. We waited for around 12 minutes, it showed negative. Somehow, knowing that it resulted negative comforted me but it is common knowledge that rapid tests are not reliable, so, I still fear that I have it (COVID).

August 8, 2020, 2:00 PM, same scenario as the other day. I can’t breathe again, my hands and feet are cold, I’m panicking/anxiety attack. I decided to message my cousin who works in a hospital. I told her about my situation. She asked me some questions and asked me to go to the ER to get myself checked ASAP. And so I went to the nearest hospital - Chinese General Hospital. I arrived at 4:00 PM only to be told that they cannot admit me as my oxygen levels are normal. I softly insisted to get myself sent to the ER but the nurses told me that they can’t do that as I’m not showing any other symptoms -- unless I want to be in a ward full of COVID patients even though it’s not yet determined that I have COVID. So they suggested I go back the next day to get tested.

August 9, 2020, 6:45 AM. This day was excruciating. I arrived in the hospital at 6:45 AM with hardly any sleep as I was told to be there before 7:00 AM. So, I listed my name on the sheet, then the officer told me to go back at 2:00 PM as that’s the schedule for walk-ins. Somehow, this irritated me knowing that I had to wait for 7 hours to get tested, but I was already feeling tired so I decided to wait. My ex boyfriend kept me company for a while. Good thing I bought water with me, it kept me going while waiting. It was around 1:00 PM when the nurses started calling the names on the list. My name was called, got myself tested and went home. I had a funny situation during the test - I coughed so hard when the nurse swabbed my throat as it was super itchy. Two nurses looked at each other and told me to put back my mask on my mouth. I got anxious as I’ve not seen anyone coughed when they were being swabbed.  

August 10, 8:30 AM. The hospital texted me that my results will be up in 10-15 minutes. Waited and tried a couple of times. I was cooking my breakfast when they messaged so I told myself to sit first just for good measure. So, I went to bed, sat there, clicked the link and added all necessary information. I opened the file and to my relief, the test showed negative. I cried to the Lord. It was an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness. I called my best friend and told her about the good news. I messaged my cousin as well. I told my boyfriend about it too. I was able to breathe again. Praise God!

But, I had a hard time breathing again. This time, I thought it could either be my heart, lungs, or thyroid (mom had thyroid issues). Reading all the symptoms, I was sold that I had a thyroid problem. So I talked to a doctor (endocrinologist) about my situation and she told me to do a general check up. I went to a diagnostic center and got myself checked - blood, x-ray, and ECG. The results came the next day and saw that I’m super unhealthy. Thyroid is out of the picture as mine’s normal. I’m borderline diabetic. Cholesterol though is normal. Good cholesterol is low. Heart and lungs are normal. I was confused what’s causing the breathing issue until I told the doctor that I feel a lump in my throat whenever I try to swallow, but there's actually nothing there when I try to drink water. It’s when she mentioned GERD, a disorder I knowingly feel is the cause all of the issues I experienced - I’ve talked to my ex boyfriend about me being acidic and could be a reason for why I’m feeling sick. All the symptoms blinked Green when I researched about it:

Difficulty in breathing

Sensation of a lump in your throat

Disrupted sleep / trouble sleeping

Anxiety

Chest pain

Difficulty in swallowing

Trouble eating normally

Weight loss

It all made sense to me why I had those symptoms and the exact time I experienced those - I’ve been drinking lemon water (lemon is a citrus, thus a no-no to me), I ate very spicy Indian food, drank wine, smoked, took acidic Vitamin C (I was drinking twice a day previously cause I thought it was COVID) and ate noodles. All these made my acid worst.

Now, what I need to do is change my lifestyle drastically. This means cutting out all the bad habits like smoking, drinking alcohol, eating spicy foods or any food that will aggravate my acid situation. I need to exercise daily, eat fruits and vegetables that are high in alkaline, drink lots of warm/hot water, eat lean meat, and make sure I only drink non-acidic Vitamin C (sodium ascorbate).

I’m very thankful to God because if not for that night, I would not know that I’m already at this certain state of my health. I still have time to fix my lifestyle and live for the better.

With this life changing experience, I’m urging everyone to never take their health for granted - young or old, fit or unfit. At one point, our bodies will surrender to our bad habits and it may never function like it was before. I also believe that everything happens for a reason, mine was a wake up call. I'm already forgetting about my relationship with God. He’s been faithful in providing all of my needs, even blessing me more than I deserve and I took it all for granted. I didn't even take a moment to express my gratitude and love for him. This experience has brought me closer to him. He’s always been there for me -- all the nights, hospital visits, getting myself checked, he used different people as channel of his love and assurance that I am not alone.

Praise God!

PS. This song has been my companion and source of strength since that day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_aIauL2xKA