#but really its all colors. its everything! math is art math is music math is physics and engineering and architecture

[anotherpapercut]

Math is not red or blue (to me) it is swirls, it's pastels crumbled into nail polish, it's licking your thumb to smudge charcoals. It's a base and a basis and smooth and ever flowing and so is colourless to me because of this. I wanted to share, I love how different things look like different stuff to people

ooh I just now saw this but I love this! I also love that everyone sees things differently however unfortunately I also think mine is the correct way to see it ://

[amplifyme]

I was tagged by @randomfoggytiger and @sagan-starstuff. Thanks! Sorry it took me so long.

What's the origin of your blog title? I'm assuming you don't mean my username. Or do you? My blog title is To Every Craft, Its Proper Mystery, which is a line written by my writing mentor for a BATB fanfic way back in the day, and one that's stuck with me since the first time I read it.

If you're asking about my user name, when I first poked around Tumblr back in 2010 I realized it was a place where I could safely amp up my obsessions and proudly let my freak flag fly. So, amplify me.

OTP(s) + Shipname: Mulder and Scully - MSR. Sandor Clegane and Sansa Stark - SanSan. Vincent and Diana, who don't really have a shipname.

Favourite colour: Muted blues, greens, and plums. But for some reason, the more brightly colored art pieces are the ones that really speak to me.

Favourite game: Um, I don't know that I have one. I don't really play many games.

Song stuck in your head: This one from Your Monster. And one of my favorite scenes/montages in this film.😍 Streaming on MAX if you're interested.

Weirdest habit/trait? I tend to be obsessive about everything being just so in my apartment. If anything is just the slightest bit off-kilter or not exactly placed, I have to fix it immediately. Thankfully this trait doesn't carry over to friend's or family's homes. Cuz that would be really weird.

Hobbies: Reading, catching up on older movies and TV shows, taking walks when the weather allows, poking around thrift stores, trying new recipes.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I think it would be a combo of doing some sort of job in a library and working at an animal rescue.

Something you're good at: Organization, multi-tasking, cooking, making people feel at ease.

Something you're bad at: Anything math related. My brain is not wired for math.

Something you love: Books. Levon the Cat. My family and friends. Music. Writing - when I'm actually able to do it.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Any of my OTPs/favorite movies, shows, and music.

Something you hate: Dishonesty. A lack of integrity. A lack of empathy/compassion. My country, right now.

Something you collect: Books and music.

Something you forget: Grocery lists. Every. Stinking. Time. I need to start writing them on my phone instead.

What's your love language? Words of affirmation. I had to take a quiz to find that out.

Favourite movie/show: Too many to list and I'm not even gonna try. But right now, I'm riding a wave of warm fuzzies and appreciation for Your Monster. See video above.

Favourite food: Anything fresh and prepared in a way that respects the ingredients. Well, anything but food that includes okra or escargot. Just, no.

Favourite animal: All of 'em!

What were you like as a child? Probably a lot like I am now, except that now I'm wiser and have thicker skin. I also have fewer fucks to give as an adult.

Favourite subject at school? English and history.

Least favorite subject? Math.

What's your best character trait? I don't think that's for me to decide.

What's your worst character trait? Procrastination.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? Nothing. It's all good.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? My ancestors in Scotland.

Recommend one of your favourite fanfics (spread the love!): All the Dead Mulders by @cecilysass. Just a lovely gut punch from start to finish.

I'm tagging @speaktruthful @musingsofaquietmind @xxsksxxx @enigmaticxbee and @ladytp

No pressure. Only play if you want to.

[tuneswitherica]

Song #2: "Beholder" by "Sincerely" and "Sea Salt"

Sincerely is an instrumental bedroom math rock artist that I discovered a few years ago, when I was first getting into what the kids call "swancore". This is the first song of theirs I listened to, and I haven't really checked out the rest of their stuff bc I don't like instrumentals.

The album cover is really beautiful, it's a very immaculate sketch of a D&D beholder, and a detail I like is the heart-shaped iris in the center eye, which I'll talk more about later. The version of this single featuring sea salt has four colored beams. Another detail I only just noticed after looking at a higher definition image is the tiny human facing down this behemoth.

Musical Analysis: I want to preface with something. I know very little music theory, despite loving prog and math rock, I'm really too stupid to comment on the really cool stuff they do with polyrhythms and shit. That being said, I love the almost shoegazey feel. The guitar tone is very clean and metallic, it's everything i like about bedroom guitarist stuff.

Lyrical Analysis: At its core, Beholder is a song about depression and trying to wait for feeling to pass, not doing anything about it, and hoping things get better without actively doing anything to fix it. My favorite line is "I never thought that life would feel this dull, maybe in the end I will feel better if I wait." Below are a few lines I'm not certain about what they could mean, so if anyone has ideas feel free to tag me in the notes!

"You never wanted to let go of the things that helped us grow, hoping for the right way, hoping that I'll find something right for me"

"And for now I'll leave it for another day, call my friends and see what they all have to say, but for now I'll have to find another way out, asking if i really want to stay"

As a final note, music is an art form. And like any other form of art, it is subjective. If anyone disagrees with me in the notes I’d be happy to hear! I won’t try to debate anyone, I’d just love discussion!

[belkisyasins]

{ asena keskinci, female, she/her } Is that BELKIS YASIN? I heard the TWENTY-SEVEN year old belongs to the KURTLAR as a FORGER. I’d stay away from them if I were you. I heard they were SELFISH, but they can also be INTELLIGENT, so proceed at your own risk. ( madds )

basics

name: belkis melek yasmin

nickname: bel

age: 27

gender & pronouns: cis feman & she/her

birthday: january 3rd

zodiac sign: capricorn

tattoos: none

piercings: ears

eye color: brown

hair color: brown, dyed red

height: 5'5

sexuality: bisexual

general

birthplace: turkey

current living: california

parents: aysun + ali ( both deceased )

significant other: none

children: none

gang: kurtlar

gang role: forger

pinterest

about

only child to lower class parents. they did what they could to keep up with her expensive taste, but nothing was ever enough for the kid.

belkis measured highly intelligent by the age of 3, labeled a child genius with the way she could pick up on just about anything and have it mastered in no time at all. whether that was maths, music, or art. the girl could do it all and that attitude is what led to her high maintenance attitude in life.

but the only thing that really stuck to her, one thing that made her feel passion in her soul was art. she could paint just about anything, and she did. this caught the eye of many people, good and bad.

when she was 16, she made her first fake. one she has never sold or kept with her throughout all these years. wanting things to be perfect, needing it to be perfect, she didn't sell a thing until two years later.

at 19, belkis made her first mistake and the wrong people were there to catch it. a wrong brushstroke against a couple hundred-thousand-dollar piece and they had her. or more so, they had her parents. they paid the price for her mistake; one she vowed to never make again. everything in her life would be, had to be, perfect now.

belkis never spoke to anyone about what she did and how it took her family from her, except to one person. devran. the wrong people knew about the talent she held, but the right people did as well. bringing her into kurtlar under his wing, her gift could only thrive.

ever since then, she made her name in the gang. focusing more on money, documents, or anything to support the organization further.

belkis treated her art the same way she treated herself. everything had to be in its place and nothing could be wrong. a perfectionist as its finest, but a life that belkis would not accept any less from.

her brains, her beauty, she's a force to be reckoned with.

but a crybaby and a brat, fr.

wanted connections

ex-husband?? didn't last long

roommate!! she moved in with them after she & her husband split up last year or so.

hookups!! like a lizard, must have something warm under her or she'll die

bestie 4 life

mini belkis, someone thats younger and belkis is training in the ways of using people to get what you want and crying if they say no

bro or sis vibe, people that just don't get her but love her the most anyway

hot & cold, the whole 'i hate u but sometimes you can be cool?' thing

[diorgirl444]

Hii Flo! How are you doing? I was wondering if i could maybe have a marauders/or slytherin boys fanon relationship matchup?

My name is Layla(pronounced leyla)and im 5'4

Appearance: my height is pretty average, hourglass figure sort of. Im quite pale and i have brown curly hair to a little lower then my collarbone. I have brown eyes, i have chubby cheeks which i love, my cheeka are usually slightly blushed necause i get cold alot. I wear mostly neutral colors such as black, grey, white and brown/beigh. I'm half swedish and half algerian. I have long eyelashes. I have a softer body type, such as a softer tummy snd all that, which again, i love

Hobbies: my biggest interested/hobby is definetly art. I absolutely love drawing and creating stuff. I usually draw stuff that ive seen irl or in my dreams because i have quite vivid dreams. I love music aswell, I've been singing my whole life and writing songs is something i love, the art is my main hobby though. I also like going for walks, i live in a small village so going out and sitting somewhere quiet whole drawing is amazing. I listen alot to arctic monkeys, david kushner, The Neighbourhood, the cramps, the Smiths, one direction. I gym alot, about 6 times a week.

Personality: i am an INTJ-T, i like being alone. I have a few close friend that i hang out with every now and then, i'ma decently closed off person, very few people know alot about me. I have anxiety and daddy issue(not trying to be quirky or sum shit i just have a shitty relationship w my dad) I'm usually very quiet. I'm a leo sun, scorpio rising and aquarous moon. It sounds weird but I'd consider myself quite a submissive person if that make sense? Im just natrually a quiter, nore submissive individual. I've never really been a person that does too well in school subjects such aas math, becahse logical subjects where theres only one answer, has never been my thing. I don't like admitting it but deep down im very self conscious, even though i kind of always seem like a confident person. I'm both introverted and extroverted, i can be very loud at times and i strugfkr with regulating the volume kf my voice because of my adhd. Id describe my humor as somewhat dark- my jokes are usually about myself and things that happend when i was younger which i find funny while others find concerninf- im quite sarcastic.

Things i like:

I love art, music, reading, writing, working out, fruit...fruit is my mains soruce of nutrition i love that shit so much i could write an essay on it man...i also love pasta, and chocolate. It makes me happy :')

I love rain, and my friend's and Going on walks, and going on walks in thr rain, and going on walks in the rain with my friends

Things i dislike:

Tomatos, math, ehen people think im stupid or unintelligent purely bc im bad at numbers-

Other informationsss:

My favorite colors are pink, beigh, grey and black. I've been told that im hard to approach? My love language is gift giving and physical touch. You cna almost always find me fidgeting eith the hen if my best friends shirtx or rubbing up and down her calf absentmindedlt while we sre talking(yes shes okay with this she koves it)i love getting hugged if its from someone im comfortble with, i love sitting in silence while drawing. I live analyzing different things, everything from art pieces to human behavior. I have an intrest for psychology, i'm studying law!

Oh and i speak swedish, English, german, romanian and french!

Andddd my aesthetic is so mixed- think like dark academis meets soft grunge mixed with coquette?

Soo, this is me, oh also im straight(but we support woman 110%)

So yea, thank you in advance!(if you domt have the time thats okay!)

hi thanks for waiting so long! i had to take a bit of a break with tumblr cause of gcses but i can’t wait to see what you think of your matchup <3

your perfect matchup is 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 💌

𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 <3

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝟐 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 <3

okay so this took me an embarrassingly long time to decide between sirius and remus but ultimately sirius won out in the end because i am nothing if not an absolute sucker for a good opposites attract trope! 🎀

i think you two meet through mutual friends (remus and lily of course) at a weekend trip to hogsmede and just hit it off right away. it’s funny because you’ve heard so much about sirius, how he’s a relentless playboy, a troublemaker, a delinquent but to you he’s a perfect gentleman. which is confusing for everyone who witnesses it.

at first they all just think oh he’s immediately just decided that you’re only friend material because you’ve got so much in common but also different enough that that would work. so the two of you spend the whole day just hanging out and no one thinks much of it….

till sirius gets back to his dorm and tells remus ever so dramatically “i’m finished!” remus is obviously wtf???? and sirius rolls his eyes as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and he’s all like “i’m finished with my hookups - i’m a changed man! there is one girl for me and i intend to be with her till the day i die” which is kinda like woah chill out! but also very cute :)

now i wouldn’t say you feel the same because you’re not insane but you are like “oh he was cute, hope i see more of him” kinda thing. anyways the point is you’re both into each other but of course don’t know that about one another because where’s the fun in that??? 😜

and sirius being sirius he doesn’t go about it in a normal way oh no he decides he’s gotta work out how to impress you first and you know what he’s gonna work that out as dog! such a sound plan!!! so whilst your sketching by the lake a large black dog potters over to you and lays at your feet. which obviously you think is adorable so you’re petting it and stroking it and just giving it sm attention (if only you knew it was sirius)

anyways it becomes like a habit for you and this dog. you go down to sketch and it joins you. you talk to it, sing, read and as you do all that sirius falls in love with you. meanwhile you to maintain a friendship as humans too but when sirius is in his animal form he sees a side to you in that time that no one else does. he falls so deeply and slowly like the way winter gently falls into spring. 🌷

he confesses in a similar way, you’re ranting to his dog form about how much you want sirius to ask you out. then suddenly you look up and there’s him boyishly grinning at you, dark hair flopping beautifully onto his forehead, he looks like a cursed prince of a forgotten land. when this happens your jaw literally drops and you’re throwing various explicates at him but he hushes you with five little words “may i please kiss you?” and forced into silence you nod cheeks burning.

he kisses you like you’re made of porcelain, a precious treasure which he cannot break, it’s prefect. when you two pull back to get your breath back you tell him teasingly “i still haven’t forgiven you for pretending to be a dog” and he says “will you forgive me if i ask if i can be your boyfriend?”you just laugh and kiss him again. sirius can’t remember a happier memory to that day. <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 <3

very easy and comfortable very quickly, the two of you adjust naturally into a routine that’s right for the two of you. a very quiet sort of intimacy that tends to surprise onlookers - it’s not at all what people expect of sirius but that’s okay because you two just get it so why worry about anyone else?

sirius is very physically affectionate like literally super glued to your side for the rest of your life now so like enjoy that i guess… 🤨 okay jk it’s very endearing but also its perfectly okay to need breaks so don’t forget to remind him that you need your own space sometimes. i mean he’ll huff and he’ll puff but he’ll get it.

okay but do you know what his favourite thing in the world is? it’s when you play with his hair. picture this it’s a warm rainy summer evening he’s laying along the sofa in the common room, his mess of dark curls in your lap, your fingers toy and fiddle with them, absentmindedly humming along to the smiths vinyl which crackles in the background. it’s pure paradise for the both of you just cosy and warm and soft. god i’m so jealous of the two of you!

he’s always treating you to things! as heir to the black family fortune he’s got an insane amount of cash to splash and he’d much rather spend it on someone he actually cares about so he’s always buying you stuff. a top he thinks you’d look good in, a fancy hardback of your favourite book, or simply your favourite chocolate bar. doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, cheap or expensive, so long as you like it that’s all he cares about.

he thinks your sketches are the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. unfortunately i can’t promise that it’ll be easy for them to become more than sketches because god forbid your attention leaves him for half second. like you’ll be in the library sketching with him sat next to you and then suddenly your cheeks are being smothered with kisses and a hands trailing its way round your chair turning you to face him. what can he say he missed you? good thing he’s cute bcs he’s such a little shit you love that about him tho

it’s very, very rare that the two of you fight but he always apologises first! don’t get me wrong he sulks for a bit first because like he’s sirius black but then he catches your red rimmed eyes and all is forgiven. because he made you cry? yeah he sucks - he’s sorry pretty girl he’ll never to it again and he gives you full permission to kill him if he does.

also his friends love you! you’re exactly what sirius needs to balance him out. honestly they don’t know how you handle him but they’re not complaining! like please keep him for as long as you want him they’re all sick to death of him!

he proposes to you on the last day of school with his family signet ring. he knows he sounds crazy but he’s loved you from the minute he met you. he’ll give you a proper ring soon but for now he gives you his family ring because you’re his family now. you’re all the family he could ever want. his whole world <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 <3

hope you like it! xoxo, flo <3

[sin-content]

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME LUMI!!!(Miss interacting with you :0)

and ummmmm >:0

@thenocturnenarrator @chillternary @drowninnoodles @strawberry-lemonade38 @charlieslittleuniverse @justakat @skylerfumaniac @anovainspace(👁️👁️) @joe-mac88 @sunday-fr

Are you named after anyone?

Nope!! The first letter of my name came to my dad in a dream :D

2. When was the last time you cried?

If I didnt cry last month id be able to say last year X)!!

3. Do you have kids?

Nope :D (Unless you count my brain children)

4. What sports do you play/have played?

Well I just do what ever when they ask me x)!! If they ask to play football, I do, if basket, I do, etc but its not like real playing its just for fun u. u

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Nope not really :D!!

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Theyre vibe and clothes :D (online just the vibe and name)

7. What's your eye color?

Uhhhh Blue, no wait green, no wait blue- uhhhh it changes

8. Scary movies or Happy endings

BOTH >:D HEHEHE

9. Any talents?

NOPE X)!! IM A FINE AT EVERYTHING!!!

10. Where were you born?

Um... Rather not say honestly, Ill say it in dms and all but yeah-

11. What are your hobbies?

Define hobbies... Id say listening to music, drawing and making others online happy for no reason 'w '

12. Do you have any pets?

Nope :> we have pets at home but they arnt mine, I dont like them that much- sadly-... oh!! But I guess my bestie and I co-own a Kitty X)!!

13. How tall are you?

i think technically 5'4 1/2"

14. Favorite subject in school

Math :D

15. Dream Job?

something i don't hate hopefully in an art field

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

ty @trvbblemaker for the tag :D

Are you named after anyone?

not that i know of

2. When was the last time you cried?

like last week after the orthodontist lmao

3. Do you have kids?

i have plants

4. What sports do you play/have played?

i did gymnastics and dance now i do nothing~

5. Do you use sarcasm?

it's somewhat of a coping mechanism

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

how they dress/their hair

7. What's your eye color?

hell if i know

8. Scary movies or Happy endings

happy endings :]

9. Any talents?

i'm rlly good at overthinking and ignoring problems (like genuinely tho ig i'm good at art)

10. Where were you born?

america 🇺🇸 (i hate it here)

11. What are your hobbies?

crocheting, watching shows, drawing

12. Do you have any pets?

cat named otis <3

13. How tall are you?

i think technically 5'4 1/2"

14. Favorite subject in school

art

15. Dream Job?

something i don't hate hopefully in an art field

no pressure tags: @newtness532 @lirdgorl @rainysaturdayafternoon @justkeepwalkingnothinghere @snek-amiga @deusetco @crayonssmellgood @arshemelsoe @lizvi @bbreaddog @noworneverphantom + open tag

[kirilune]

pov: they're your deskmate ☆ KNIGHTS

♡ a/n: hey guys im not dead😭 i didn't have time to write, sorry. i hope yall enjoy this <33 and thanks for 50+ followers💕💕

♡ art by Shi_iK4 on twitter

tsukasa suou

sitting with tsukasa means you're gonna get a lot of free help with your lessons-

he wasn't really friendly when you first sat near him but you both started to get close as time passed.

you can constantly ask him for notes and even if he gets mad he still gives them lol

he has those colorful pens and he takes perfect notes HE'S SO NEAT it's unreal.

cheating on exams? no way. he would kill you.

he just studies all. the. time. you try to talk to him and hes just like "quiet, [name]!" and then he starts his speeches of course "you should study too, you know? there are upcoming exams-" blah blah and the exams are in like what- 2 months?

tsukasa is a very typical good student basically. and if you're like that too, you would get along well! but if you are not... you guys might get into lots of arguments lol.

leo tsukinaga

ok i mean,, where do i even start

he's. the craziest deskmate you could've ever had.

he's the class clown (did i even need to say this) i mean if you are also a class clown then good for you got yourself a friend

if you're not then i'm sorry. he will make you go insane.

but this goes only for the times when he ACTUALLY comes to school.

like on monday he's there doing his thing and all of a sudden he disappears. you won't see him for a week-

man just vanishes. if i did that i would be expelled

he doesn't usually give attention to the teachers, and of course he studies the night right before the exam...

i feel like he has very creative ideas on how to cheat but i dunno if he would put them into action. he says its a wrong thing but then he would help you cheat lol

there are music notes EVERYWHERE on the desk. like you're taking notes and you turn your head to look at your dear deskmate to see what he's up to but you see that guy composing. where tf did he get his inspirations from? math?

and there is also something called paper but no leo chooses the desk.

you both joke a lot tho. i said he makes you go insane but he's hella funny too. teachers get angry at you all the time since yall laugh every second-

izumi sena

he's just a. normal guy. but he is also not. i mean you know how he is

the first thing you noticed was how handsome he was when you first got to your desk to meet him- (or at least that's what i would notice idk)

i feel like he's between tsukasa and leo. like,, he is not weird and loud but he's also not a nerd. just somewhere in between.

whenever you get to your desk you see izumi just annoyed at something. nothing might've happened but he will still find something to be grumpy about-

he might get mad at you if you distract him in class or he might just not care at all. depends on his mood tbh...

he asks you for notes sometimes and helps you in return too. sure if you ask for too much he says "go study yourself, jeez-" but keep begging and he'll definitely help.

ritsu sakuma

hmm it's ritsu i wonder what can i say about him.. something very different,, something you never heard before...

can you guess it? nope never you CAN'T.

im gonna say it... are you ready????

he's SLEEPING.

bet you didn't see that coming huh

ok im sorry but that's just what he does

anyways, say hi to your sleepy little vampire friend. you are going to sit with him from now on.

he's a very cute deskmate actually.

you're paying attention to the class and all of a sudden you feel ritsu's head on your shoulder aaa he fell asleep!

not only on your shoulder but he sleeps on your lap as well. you wake him up when the teacher starts talking about something important tho.

you try to teach him everything after the class since he misses lessons most of the time :(( he's very grateful that you're helping him<3

it's really fun to study with him as well. yall joke around, but also take your exams seriously.

he would try to cheat sometimes i just know it. you guys call yourselves "partners in crime" but the only thing yall do is write some answers on the desk (and they're never useful lol)

arashi narukami

she's the sweeetest deskmate. the most normal person among the others above i swear.

she buys you coffee or some snacks before the lesson starts.

sometimes you get caught up in talking with her and just forget that you're in class lol. if the teacher complains then you both instantly stop and pay attention.

she is always willing to help if you couldn't take notes or didn't understand the lesson.

whenever there is an exam and arashi sees you're worried, she tries her best to calm you down and you study together.

i feel like she would also be organized and she has a very lovely feeling overall so it's really comfortable sitting with her.

[vanchlo]

Green Eyes

*Thanks so much for reading! c: There are now several parts you can read here:   2    3    4 

I’m so happy to share that I won a fiction writing award for this short story through my college’s art journal! c: 

Blurb Synopsis: You had been subbing for Mr. Styles for the last couple of months, but you’ve yet to meet him. The notes you leave for each other have sparked a friendship, leading you to want more, and you wonder if he does too.

Genre: Teacher Harry, lots of fluff, friendship, and maybe even some romance? ;) 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5.5k words

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Music Inspo: Green Eyes by Coldplay (click to listen)

*

His shelves were full of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Rumi, and Charles Bukowski. His desk was covered in scribbled Post-It notes, Bit-O-Honey wrappers, and empty mugs of tea. 

This is what you noticed the first few times you subbed in his classroom. 

These were the only details you knew about the man whose face you’ve never seen. As you gradually began to substitute for his high school English classes more and more, you learned about him more. This was due to his students, and his personal belongings. 

What he didn’t and didn’t like: all the way from no fringes on a notebook paper, no red pen ever because that was his grading color, no using the word ‘can’t’ in his class, and students can eat all the snacks they want as long as the trash goes in the bin where it belongs. 

The CDs in a stack on the shelf told you which ones he actually listened to because they were the ones that were on top and without dust. 

You learned that the pristine book on his desk was never the one he was reading. No, it was the weathered and used copy beside his mug with dog-eared pages and penciled notes. 

His drawers told you another story with their contents: boxes of teas ranging from peach to vanilla macaron, journals filled to the brim with words, adult coloring books with tv show themes, and books on Van Gogh and Monet hinting at his artsy background. His students slowly warmed up to you, and through them, so did he. 

At this point, you’d only been subbing for Mr. Styles the last five months, racking up around two and a half weeks worth of subbed days. He always left precise and concise lesson plans for you. The books were where he said they’d be. The webpages he mentioned were bookmarked on his desktop. The teacher copy of the textbook and current group book were on his desk. At the beginning, his desk looked like a professional organizer had gotten their hands on it. Slowly, as you came to sub more for him, it grew messier, albeit you kept it tidy during your appearances. As the first few months passed and you became one of the few subs in his room, you started to find notes. They weren’t just any notes. They were more than the straight forward sub notes for the day’s agenda. No, they weren’t that simple. You can still remember the first one you found on a Post-It note - it went like this: 

Y/N, peanut butter on your waffles or syrup? 

It took you by surprise, but nonetheless, you answered his call. Each time, you’d find a contrasting pen color and scrawl your answer underneath his. Then leaving it somewhere he would find it the next day. They were one-liners at the beginning, and always interesting. Walking to his classroom from your car on those mornings, you’d fill with excitement at the anticipation of finding the next one. Sometimes it took you the entire day to find where he had hidden them. 

In the closet. 

In a nook in a drawer. 

Under the chair. 

On the backside of one of his books. 

Hidden in plain sight amongst his current choice of notes and lists. 

They never failed to spark a smile on your lips, whether it was quirky, confused, astounded or humored. 

Guitar or piano?

FRIENDS or The Simpsons?

Vanilla or Chocolate?

Would you rather become a superhero or a wizard?

The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?

Slowly, the questions became more personal, and more than just ‘this or that.’ His questions became longer, and so did your answers.  

What was the moment that made you decide to become a teacher?

Is Donny a good student for you, or is he lying to me about that?

What color are your eyes?

What book/film do you believe had the largest impact on you while growing up?

What is the one meal you always order at a restaurant?

Do you have a family?

Should I splurge and buy a new desk chair?

What book should I buy for my classroom you think I need to have? Why?

Why don’t you have a classroom of your own?

When is your birthday?

Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?

They were never a chore for you, or tedious. No, they were fun and you felt as if you saw a little sliver of who he really was with each note. After a while, you started to write and leave your own notes for him to answer. At first, many of them were similar to ones he had left you, because you wanted to hear his responses, too. 

*

The newest one stares back at you, his half-cursive registering in your eyes.

What’s your favorite part about subbing in my classroom? Don’t say the students, that’s what everybody says. 

Giggling to yourself, you reach over to his Pink Floyd mug to pull out a green pen. You take a moment to think of your answer. This time you found the note peeking out from behind the smart whiteboard. The sounds of the end of a school day tickle at your ears as you scribble down your answer. Pressing it to an open square of wood on his desk, you turn back to the royal blue pad of Post-Its. Peeling one off, the green pen hovers over the paper, but you can’t get yourself to write the question you’ve been wanting to know all along. 

He didn’t have a Facebook, or an Instagram. 

The high school doesn’t have a wall of staff pictures like others you’ve subbed at do. 

It’s late winter, so yearbooks are still a ways off. 

For all you know, you could have seen him here before in the halls when you subbed in another classroom. 

Exhaling, you press the pen to the paper before you can convince yourself to stop. Unlike the many times before when your fears got the best of you. 

What do you look like?

With a proud but nervous smile you stick it to the desk, layering the first note on top. It sticks to your lips as you bend down to reach your hand into your bag. The glossy bag greets your hand, and you pull it out to set down beside the note. 

A small bag of Bit-O-Honeys. 

Looking up, your eyes scan the empty classroom. Few footsteps, voices, and lockers slamming trickle in from the halls. You suddenly realize that this is the same view he sees, these are the same sounds he hears, and the same place he sits in every day. Well, when he’s not away on personal days, sick days, on holiday, and at workshops, hence your appearances. The thought knits something together inside of you, making you feel just that bit more closer to him. Something that’s been slowly happening over time since you first stepped foot in his classroom. 

One of the first things that did this was the posters scattered across his walls. A poster from the 2013 remake of The Great Gatsby, The Beatles’ Abbey Road album cover, a cartoon of William Shakespeare, a unifying print of Keith Haring’s art, and several posters of quotes from famous books - To Kill A Mockingbird, the Kite Runner, Of Mice and Men, The Life of Pi, and even The Hunger Games. It delighted you watching him add some of them to the walls since your time here, and you’ve been itching to purchase him one as a gift. You’re unsure of what he would like though, and the fear of failure has held you back from doing so. 

A bleep! catches your attention. Casting your eyes to the dormant desktop screen, you wiggle the mouse. A red circle has appeared on the title of a tab opened to your professional email. Clicking over to it from a YouTube video he had you show the class, you find you have a new message. At the sight of who sent it, your heart skips a beat: harry.styles@isd . . . . . . . 

Hi. I reckon you’re still sitting at my desk this moment, now that’s a funny thought. I wanted to ask you a question while I remembered. I have to go out of town on Friday for a funeral. Believe me, I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to, but these things are a must. I apologize for it being short notice, but I thought I’d ask you if you would like to take it before I posted it to the sub database. Please let me know either way by tonight, so it has a few days to sit on the website to be claimed. Also, I wanted to say thanks for everything you do. My students really love you, and it makes me wonder what I’m missing. Enjoy your night! 

Sincerely,

Harry Styles

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you. - WW”

A smile warms your cheeks as you finish reading his words, and the familiar poem that ends every email of his. You quickly type up a response to him, agreeing to take the job on Friday, thanking him for thinking of you. A new email appears in your inbox shortly after from another colleague, which occupies you before you lose yourself in your thoughts again. 

Perhaps your favorite addition in his classroom is the Fender acoustic sitting on a stand in the corner. Of course, you’ve yet to see it move in the last five months. The stories his students have told you in a way have given it legs of its own in your mind. Much like the little notes you’ve been leaving for each other, something you dread ever ending. 

*

It was a Wednesday. You’re convinced that Mrs. Watson’s Pre-Calc class is surely the bane of your existence. You keep cursing yourself for taking sub assignments for math classes. Seeing that you’re terrible at the subject, you vowed you’d never take one of her assignments again, but you have to pay the bills somehow. You found your respite in the cozy staff lounge. Couches lined two of the walls, along with an arrangement of tables on the other side of the room. 

As you walk in, you see that one of the ancient history teachers has nodded off again on the plaid couch. Otherwise, the room is empty, and all to yourself. If that didn’t make you happy before, the assortment of food on the counter definitely does. 

Voices float in through the open door as the plastic lid to the cupcakes opens with a pop! 

“Ah, looks like ya got tha last chocolate one. I was savin’ that one fer me,” a voice comments from behind you. Turning, you find a tall man in his late 20’s walking towards you. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, you can have it,” you volunteer, holding the blue-iced cupcake out for his taking. 

His blush lips curl up with an amused smile. Dimples fall neatly into his cheeks covered with thick stubble. Its deep brown color matches that of the short quiffed curls atop his head. Misty green eyes stare back at you in the middle of his round, but sharp face. “‘m only joking. Go ahead and have it. I already had one earlier. They’re quite good actually, but I dunno ‘bout tha vanilla. Never really cared fer tha flavoir when it comes t’ cake and ice cream,” he comments, passing you to stop at the nearby sink. 

“Yeah, I like to forget vanilla exists half of the time,” you remark, peeling away the paper liner of the cupcake. 

Leaning against the counter, you watch as his ringed hand grabs a red coffee mug from the cabinet. “So do I. ‘s ratha boring, if I do say so meself.”

Nodding to yourself, a silence follows your words. The sweetness of the cupcake is shocking when you take a bite. It makes you wonder how you devoured these sugar bombs as a child. A few beeps and a hum from the microwave echo throughout the room as you check your phone. 

“Y’know, I haven’t seen ya here at tha school befo’. Are ya new dis year or a sub?” he asks, bringing your eyes back to his lean figure. He pulls a yellow square packet from his tight-fitting black slats, a blush button-down tucked into its waist. 

“I started subbing here this year,” you answer before taking another bite of the cupcake. Half of it consists of the sickeningly sweet frosting that makes your teeth ache. 

“Mmmm I see. How d’ya like it so far? Are ya a new teacher, ‘s that why yer subbin’?” 

“Yeah, I went back to school kinda late in the game after doing something else. I figure I’d sub for a little bit for some experience, because what’s another year of waiting by this time?” you comment, observing how he fiddles with his black tie while searching in the refrigerator. 

“Well, congratulations. ‘s a big step t’ go back t’ school fer sumthin’ ya love. ‘s a good profession, I reckon. I’ve been teaching fer 7 years, and here at dis school fer 5. Sumtimes schools even hire subs they’ve had when a position opens, so keep yer eyes open,” he tells you, turning to you with a smile, a yogurt in his hand. 

“Thank you,” you say sincerely, returning the smile. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“Sure thing. I know it helped loads when I was a newbie. ‘ll see ya around, I gotta get back t’ class befo’ me students do first. Have a good one!” 

Walking towards you with the steaming cup of tea in his hands, he pats your arm with his other hand on the way out. Nodding at your ‘thank you’, a small ‘you’re welcome’ falls from his lips before the door closes behind him. Eating the last bite you can muster of the cupcake, you toss its remains in the bin. A thought worms its way into your mind as you sit down at the table. 

Wow, I wonder who that guy was? And is he married, because shit, he was handsome. 

*

The smell of orange essential oil greets you when you stepped foot into his classroom the next time. The state of his desk made you frown, and made you want to scratch the itch to clean it. You resisted it and didn’t, and that thought was taken away when his students began to find their desks. 

Another day of 7 classes came and went. 2 classes of Introduction to Creative Writing. 3 classes of American Literature. 2 classes of World Literature. Amusing YouTube videos broke up the monotony of your day, and those of his students. The lesson notes he left for you had become more concise as the months have passed, and as you learned from each other. The same couldn’t be said for the dish of Bit-O-Honeys on his desk that he’s kept stocked for your appearances. You’re just glad he’s put the bag you left for him to good use. All throughout your day you had been looking for his newest note, but this time it wasn’t in any of his usual spots. After correcting some quizzes from today, you finally found it in the bottom left-hand drawer of his mahogany desk. Stuck to a tall can of Coke, your favorite drink of choice. 

I’m sorry it’s warm, although I’m not sure how you like to drink it. I just find warm soda to be rather nasty. The answer to your question is I have green eyes, brown hair, I’m rather tall, and I like to dress up. Is that good enough for you? Now, what do you look like, love?

Your insides melt at the sight of his answer, but then you groan at the vagueness of it. Off the top of your head, you know there are at least 10 male teachers here at this school with brown hair, maybe more. Maybe even with green eyes, too, and you know that because you’ve seen them in the staff lounge or in the halls. The thought only grows worse when you lose count of  how many teachers there are here at this school. Let’s just say, there’s a lot. Yeah, that sure helps a whole lot. Annoyed, you pluck a pen from the green mug and answer his question with as little detail as possible. Two can play at this game, you think to yourself as you sigh. 

If you could have a jam session with any musician, dead or alive, who would it be?

Sticking the new note where its corner peeks out from under his tabletop calendar, your eyes return to the Coke. It’s undeniable, you feel a little less perturbed at him just at the sight of it. Only a little bit, that is. Sure, you’ve subbed for a countless number of teachers at this school, and more so in this school district. A few of them are even friends or relatives of yours, but you’d never connected with one before like you have with Harry. You just wish more than anything you could find out what he looks like and what he’s really like. Continuing to take his sub jobs doesn’t really help with that. It only drives you crazier wanting to know the other side of this fascinating human being. 

*

There he was, snoring on the couch again, tv remote in hand. The weather channel is playing, surprising you very little. Snickering, you yank open the door to the black refrigerator. After retrieving your striped black and blue lunchbox, you place the container of leftovers in the microwave. A laugh is heard over your shoulder, and when you turn, you find Green Eyes from the other day. 

Tittering as the door closes behind him, he says, “No fail, John ‘s always passed out on dat couch, I swear.”

“I know, it’s every time I’m here. Maybe he should just retire already so he can take his naps at home. Then maybe we could watch something on the tv for once,” you comment, shaking your head. Unpacking your lunch box, you take out a clementine, vanilla yogurt, and silverware. 

“Nah, he loves it too much. I don’t see him leavin’ anytime soon,” he remarks, walking past you to search the shelves of the fridge. “What’re we having’ t’day? Couldn’t find any cupcakes dis time?”

“No, those ones were too sweet anyways. They gave me a stomachache,” you complain with a grimace. The beeeeep! of the microwave interrupts your thoughts. 

“Mmmm, I dunno, I thought they were pretty good.” Rubbing his tummy, he pulls a breathy laugh from your lips. 

Your steaming container of leftovers almost burns your hands, and you dread trying to eat it within the next 10 minutes. Setting up for a lesson in Mr. Harrison’s classroom was a pain, making you wonder why you take any sub jobs besides Harry’s anymore. 

“No free food fer us t’day,” he pouts beside you, closing the fridge door before venturing to the vending machine in the corner. Your eyes drift to his outfit choice today - a white button-down topped with a buttoned vest the shade of ochre, all tucked into brown slacks.

“That’s why you pack a lunch. I thought you’d know the drill by now, since you said you’ve been teaching for a while.”

“I do, but sumtimes I forget. Yer already ahead o’ me with dat part, love,” he who doesn’t have a name answers with a short laugh. Sliding a leather wallet from his pocket, you see him type in a number before you sit down at the table. “Who are ya subbin’ fer t’day then?”

“I’m on the west side in the Science wing for Harrison. Bloody Bio.”

“Ugh, I neva cared fer science. Where were ya a few weeks ago when I last saw ya?” he questions, sliding out a chair across from you. An assortment of vending machine food hits the table with a slap - peanut M&M’s, a nutrigrain bar, and a bag of Sun Chips. 

“Upstairs in Watson’s Maths class. Remind me to never sub for her again, because I can’t understand Pre-Calc for the life of me. I never could in high school so I don’t know why I thought I could know,” you chuckle. A warmth fills your cheeks at the sight of his lips spreading into an amused smile. 

“Yeah, I neva cared fer Maths meself eitha. Numbas neva made a bit o’ sense t’ me, words were always betta,” he explains. You nod along with his words, your mouth occupied with a bite of spaghetti and meatballs. “What subject would ya like t’ teach once tha year’s ova an’ ya go searchin’ fer a job o’ yer own?”

“Um, probably something in English since that’s my focus area. Dabbling in History has been fun, though. I enjoy learning about it myself, and I always have a better time subbing in either of those classes,” you reveal. 

“I see,” he replies, his head going up and down. The crinkling of the granola bar wrapper fills the silence between you before he takes a bite. Crumbs pepper his chin, but he wipes them away from his thin beard. “How often d’ya sub here then?”

“I’d say probably 3 days a week typically, but some weeks are 4. Otherwise, I sometimes sub for a friend or somebody I know over at the middle school.”

“Ah, so yer license is sumthin’ like 8 - 12, ‘s it?” he inquires, picking up the black mug you hadn’t noticed he had. 

“Yeah, I thought that would give me a good range for those grades. With my experience now, I think I’d like to stay at the high school level though,” you continue, twirling you fork around in the noodles covered in tomato sauce. Crossing your legs, the satiny fabric of your black dress pants moves with you. 

“We could always use anotha good teacher here. Ya neva know what’ll happen,” he smiles, standing to his feet with his snacks held in his large hand. Returning his smile, he adds his mug to that hand, patting your back once on his way out. “See ya next time, love. Keep yer head up, it’ll get betta.” 

“Thanks,” you automatically respond with. When you go to say his name, you’re lost for words, because you suddenly remember you’ve never gotten it. Now, he’s already too far away to ask for it. 

Shrugging your shoulders, you stab a meatball with your fork, wondering when the next time will be that you’ll see him again. Because, he sure is nice to look at, and he’s nicer to you than anybody else here. 

*

Stevie Nicks or John Lennon, it’s a tough call. Okay, I’m doing two questions from now on, because you ask such good ones :( Who would you jam with then? Question #2: What was the last concert you went to?

This time, you found the Post-It before the school day even started. It was on the seat of his chair, making you think he wanted you to find it right away. You’re thinking maybe he remembered one of the last times you complained about how hard he had made it. Sometimes you worry about how excited you get to look for these each time you sub in his classroom, but then you remember it’s only once every few weeks. 

That can’t hurt, can it? 

That day the hallways were louder than they usually were after school. You attributed that to the boys’ semifinals basketball game set to be played tonight in the gymnasium. The school’s home team against a nearby rival school. Students couldn’t stop talking about it all day, and many of them shared they’d be sticking around after school to attend. Checking your watch, you note that you should have enough time to stop at home to eat dinner before coming back for it. Even though you hadn’t even known about it before today. 

The Sufjan Stevens song floating from his desktop fills the room as you get out books for tomorrow. Your hands are full with copies of The Kite Runner, making you feel grateful again to Harry- Mr. Styles for picking a decent classic for the class to read. Although you’d only read it a few years ago yourself, and it broke your heart, you’re excited to sub next time to help his World Lit class with it. 

“Oh hey, be careful there, yer gonna slip and fall with all o’ those,” somebody says from behind you, distracting you from your mission of bringing the pile of books from the closet to a desk. 

Don’t I know that voice? Turning your eyes to the doorway, you find Green Eyes walk in with a coat slung over his arm. Wait a second. 

“I-I’m fine,” you stutter, but your actions that follow negate your words. Your eyes run over his familiar features, and slowly the puzzle pieces start to click in your head. Harry? A thought bomb explodes in your head, and the books tumble from your arms. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Yer okay,” he murmurs, stopping in front of you. Kneeling down, you both begin to pick up the books, stacking them on top of each other. “Thanks for gettin’ me set up fer t’morrow though. I appreciate it.” 

“Mmmhmm,” is all you can say, because any words that want to come out can’t get past the lump in your throat. One that’s there because of the realization you just had.

Green Eyes and Harry are the same person. 

How did I not figure this out sooner? 

“So, ya must be Y/N, huh?” he giggles, his head bent down as he helps you pick up the books. 

“Y-Yeah, surprise,” you admit, and your laugh soon joins his. Before you know it, the both of you can’t stop laughing. 

“Here,” you hear him say. Looking up, you find him standing in front of you holding his hand out for you to take. A cozy looking maroon sweater covers his upper half, and blue jeans don the rest. “Fancy meetin’ you here,” he jokes in between laughs. 

“You’re right about that,” you answer, taking his hand. He helps you to your feet where you smooth down the violet skirt of your dress. “I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots.”

“Yer not tha only one, love,” Harry comments, bending over to grab a stack of books. He begins to set one on each desk as he walks down the aisles of them. “But I s’pose there wasn’t any way t’ know.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t find you on Facebook,” you confess, cursing yourself for the slip up a few seconds later. Lifting your head from the book you just set on a desk, you find his amused eyes on you across the room. 

“Ah, so ya were stalkin’ me, were ya?” he smirks, his delightful laugh following his words. 

“No, I wasn’t! You’re just one of the only colleagues I’ve subbed for who I’ve never met, or like don’t know what they look like.”

Your small stack soon disappears and when you return to the pile at the back of the room, he does too. 

“So, what d’ya think? Are ya disappointed then?”

“No,” you say automatically, lifting your eyes to his green ones that land on you. His cheeks lined with a thick, neat beard crease with dimples as he smiles at you. 

“Neither am I . . . .  Ms. Vance Joy fan,” he returns, holding your gaze. The sincerity in his words gets under your skin, going straight to your heart. The sarcastic joke inside of them makes you giggle. 

Clearing your throat, you look away with what you’re sure are blushing cheeks. Most likely, an entire blushing face. “What are you doing here, anyways, if you were gone for the day?”

“I can’t miss me boys’ big game, a few o’ me students are on tha team. I thought I’d catch up on sum emails and grading befo’hand, but didn’t know ya’d still be here.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just leaving, anyways,” you mutter, your movements stilling. 

“I didn’t mean it dat way, love. ‘m glad we finally met, it was about time, anyways,” Harry insists, and you nod before continuing to place a book at each desk. “Hey wait, you said you were short and all plain in yer note. No, yer not, ya fibber.”

“Oh like your description was any more accurate,” you scoff lightheartedly, setting down a book before grabbing another from your dwindling stack. 

His rich laugh meets your ears, and you can’t resist looking over to him. “Ya didn’t give yerself enough credit, ya know,” he almost coos, and you swear your heart melted into a puddle right then and there. That’s if it hadn’t done so already when you realized he’s Green Eyes. Swoon. 

It’s hard to hold back the excitement curling at the edge of your lips. Soon, you run out of books again and when you take a peek at him, so has he. 

“Were ya gonna go?” he questions, and you deal him one when you look at him confused. “T’ tha game, I mean.”

Your body feels like jello, and that any move you make would be sloppy. Embarrassing. That’s the last thing you want to look like in front of him. With his dazzling smile, adorably dimpled cheeks, and the cozy vibes he’s giving off. Not to mention, the clean citrus scent wafting off of him. A smell you certainly would be okay with smelling for hours on end. If only. 

“Well bloody Rob around tha corner bailed on me, so I have an extra ticket now. Would ya like t’ join me? I was thinkin’ o’ grabbin’ a sub from ‘round tha corner befo’. Concession food ‘s always too expensive, and never worth tha lines at halftime,” Harry suggests, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. One corner of his mouth climbs up his cheek, making you feel like maybe you’re not alone in these jumbled feelings. Or in the fun you’ve had carrying on this blind relationship with him. 

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. Maybe we could get to know each other a little better than the few words Post-It notes can hold.”

Slowly, the other corner of his lips curls upwards, making the dimple fall into his cheek once again. Nodding, his lips split into a full-fledged smile, singing with a chuckle. “I’d really like that,” he reveals before venturing to the door and shutting off the light. Extending an arm, he waves a hand towards himself.

“Hold on, let me get my things.”

“No rush. ’s not like ‘ve waited seven months fer dis or anythin’,” he quips. By now, you’re certain your face resembles a tomato. You hope that in the muted light, perhaps he won’t notice. 

Hurriedly, you slip on your light coat and drape your bag over your shoulder. Your eyes catch something as you’re tucking your phone in your pocket. Grabbing one last thing, you turn to find him watching you from the lit doorway. 

“What?” he wonders aloud, still with that smile etched onto his face. One you’re fairly sure you could get used to seeing. 

“Here,” you tell him, placing the Post-It note in his palm. His fingers dotted with dark hairs brush against you, just for a second longer than need be. 

“Ah, can’t forget dis now. Important stuff here.”

“Indeed,” you note, stifling a laugh as the sarcasm floats in the air. 

You observe his eyes flit across the paper holding your cursive as your steps echo down the empty hallway. 

“Hmmm, funny. It says ‘would you like to meet up sometime’ on here,” Harry reads, casting his twinkling eyes to you. Green eyes. “I was jus’ ‘bout t’ ask ya tha same thing on me next note. But I had sumthin’ that woulda took tha cake fer sure.”

“What’s that?” you remark, wondering how that could be. Those thoughts fly out the window when you feel his arm come around your shoulder. A squeal sounds inside of your head, but hey, at least that’s far less embarrassing than doing it out loud. 

“I was gonna tell ya dat Tracy across tha hall from me ‘s leavin’ afta dis year, and I may have recommended a certain sumbody t’ tha principal t’ replace her,” Harry hums, a knowing glint dancing in his eyes as they hover over you. “What d’ya say t’ bein’ colleagues instead o’ bein’ me sub?”

“I think I could get used to that,” you answer, letting your smile take over your entire face.

“So could I, love. So could I.” 

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Out of curiosity, do Callie and chris ever run into each other/ confront each other after

CW: Referenced head-banging and resulting injury, brief ableism references, gaslighting, vaguely referenced institutional pet whump

(for context, see This Isn’t Hypothetical For Chris, “Can You Come Get Me?”, No Words, and Drop)

“Um. Hey.”

Chris, in the midst of a careful, incredibly precise drawing of a tiny Easter Island moai while studying for the Non-Western Art History test, looks up, only to freeze, his fingers tensing around his pencil until he presses so hard the lead snaps off, rolling down the notebook.

His hair is pulled back, caught at his nape with a clip Mari let him borrow, but he wishes all at once that it weren’t, so he could shake it over his face, hide behind it. That it wasn’t blue but some color no one saw in a crowd, so she wouldn’t have seen him and known it was him.

He hesitates too long, and she shifts, moving herself into his field of vision again. “Chris, are you-... are you busy?”

“Hey, um, hi... hi, Callie,” Chris mumbles, looking back down again, clicking the end of the mechanical pencil to get more lead, enjoying the sound and the very slight press of the eraser against his thumb. “I’m just, just studying. What, um, what do, do, do-do you... what do you want?”

She seems to take it as an invitation, which it isn’t. When she pulls out the chair across the table, the legs scrape along the floor impossibly loudly, but only Chris seems bothered by it. The sound makes his teeth itch, a feeling he can’t possibly describe in any other way. When he moves the chair, he picks it up, carefully placing it back down, avoiding the sound that shudders through him and digs into the tiniest bones. 

Everyone else just scrapes. 

She tucks some of her own bouncy, wavy brown hair behind one ear. It’s chilly today, it was so foggy this morning Chris could barely see from one side of the bridge to the other when he crossed over the highway to the other side of campus to get some coffee to help him cram before the test. Callie is wearing a heavy cable-knit sweater that drapes just so off one shoulder, showing the silken strap there, and skintight dark jeans. She looks really pretty, but Chris mostly thinks everyone looks pretty. 

Even Dylan in the morning looks pretty, with his hair all messed up. Even though Chris is still kind of mad at him and probably always will be. 

Chris is in his usual thick black compression shirt, helping him hold off the weight of the lights, keeping the prickle of the Student Center from digging too deeply into his skin. Over that, a t-shirt from the Lion King musical that Mari brought back from her last trip home - (”I have like five, now, Chris, I’ve seen it in like six different places you can have this one, if you want? It’s from when I saw it in Chicago.” And of course he did, he is starting a small collection of shirts he had gotten from nearly everyone he knows), and one of Jake’s heavy sweater-coats, borrowed - but really stolen - from the house last weekend. Jake pretends not to know. Chris brings them back eventually.

Between Chris and Kauri, it’s a miracle Jake ever has anything warm to wear at all.

“So, I just-... I wanted to, um. I haven’t seen you around-... oh, did you get hurt?” She cocks her head to the side, and Chris looks away from her, spinning the pencil in his fingers, his foot tapping on the ground now, nervous energy bubbling inside him. 

There’s a bandage, still, on his forehead. He wishes he could say it was from the day in class, but it’s not. It’s from a few days ago, after meeting with the grad student to sign stuff to drop the class. It’s from coming home with all his hurt and fear a spinning top that he could only calm by breaking its rhythm, and he’s, it’s regression, but it’s okay, sometimes you go back and you get back up and go forward again, Dr. Berger says it’s okay sometimes to backslide as long as you know you have people to help you get up-

“I’m fine,” He says, flat and smooth words, barely his own voice at all. “Hit my head on, on, on a cabinet.”

Technically true.

She nods, folding her hands in her lap, watching him with those sort of big sad eyes people get sometimes, when they’re working up to something and want you to know they’re not the bad guy. Her drink has a cloth sleeve on it with tiny little bow ties. He wonders if she made it herself.

She clears her throat. “Okay, um. Good to hear it. So... I just... I heard you dropped.”

“Yep.” Chris keeps his eyes down now, on his pencil. The gentle weight of his feather necklace reminds him that he has other options, too. For now, though, he spins his pencil on top of his open notebook, the drawing of the moai. “Who told you that, um, that-... that I, I dropped?”

“I mean, when you weren’t in class for a couple weeks-... you know at first I thought you just, like, you know... the teacher told you not to come by, but then you kept not coming, and...” She kind of throws her hands up. Hers are painted a cheerful blue-toned red. Chris’s are black, but they’re heavily chipped. He’s been picking at them again. “I asked Esh, finally, and he said-”

“Eshiram.”

“What?” She blinks, confused. 

“Not Esh. His, his, his name’s Eshiram.”

“No, I know, I just-... whatever. Look, so, I get that you’re probably still pretty mad, and... I’ve kind of been trying to hunt you down to say I’m sorry.”

Chris, caught off guard, pauses in spinning his pencil and turns to look at her again. “What?”

“About... I would never, ever have wanted you to feel you had to drop the class, Chris, I swear.” She leans forward, all earnest sincerity, and there’s a look of guilt on her that makes him think she means it. It wasn’t her idea, after all - if she’s even fucking talking to him, she doesn’t know what he is, she didn’t catch it like the grad student did.

After the drawn out moment, his foot starts to tap on the floor again. “It’s, um, it’s, it’s, it’s okay,” He says, wishing he had his own drink, something to hold in his hands and sip. The nerves start to wind up inside him, and he drops one hand down where she can’t see it, starts to tap on the side of his thigh.

“No, it’s not.” Callie sighs, shaking her head. Her hair moves with the motion and he catches a hint of her shampoo, it smells like fruit and honey. “It’s not, Chris. Look, I just-... I took everything you said super personally, and that wasn’t okay. I get that you, you know, you weren’t really talking about me.”

Chris turns to look at her, blinking wide green eyes, thinking, Yes, I was.

He opens his mouth to maybe tell her, but the pause goes on too long and she’s already talking again before he can. “There’s all these reports about abuse, and everything, I swear more than ever, and it just-... puts me on edge, you know? So I heard you saying-... well, you know. You don’t know that things are better at our house. All you know is what you’ve, you know, seen on the news.”

Chris takes in a breath and holds it, tapping hard against the seam of his jeans. He isn’t going to get angry. Getting angry made him have to drop and lose points off his GPA, getting angry gets him noticed by too many people all at once, angry feels heavy and hurting, angry draws attention, attention mean eyes and hands and-

Let the breath out. Exhale. He has to purposefully remind himself to do it.

“I, I, I know more than, um, than that,” He manages to say, but his voice is small. He’s no good at being angry, when it’s not in the moment, when there’s nothing to draw him out of himself. “I don’t, don’t just... build sets all day, Callie, I’m, I’m, I know other, um, other things.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. Like, I’m surprised you’re not, like, a math major or something, like in that movie-”

Chris sits back and snorts out bitter laughter. “You, you, you mean, um, The Gift?”

“Yeah! Vincent Shield did such a good job, they said he did a bunch of like, work to really get into character which is so cool since he was only, like, sixteen when he did that one with that, you know, the other guy he did movies with all the time-”

“Owen-... Owen Grant.”

“Yeah! I wonder what happened to him. Anyway-”

“Do you, do... do, do, do you think-... Callie, I suck at, um, at math.” Chris can’t help himself. He starts to laugh at the absurdity, and Callie looks like he’s hit her across the face, wide-eyed, shocked. “This is, um, this, this is, this-... this is a really, really-... really bad apology.”

“Yeah, I know.” Callie kind of laughs along with him, then, but there’s something fake and brittle to her laughter. “But I swear, I just came to say I’m sorry. It was just a misunderstanding, I really didn’t mean for you to have to drop. I swear, Chris, I don’t, like, hate you or think anything bad about you-”

You called me a fucking spastic.

“-or anything like that. I just... can you forgive me for losing my temper? I’m sorry, it’s just, when my family is attacked by people who don’t even know us, I get super defensive, and-... and I should have realized you weren’t really attacking us, just, you know, the system.”

Chris stares down at his shoes. He thinks, you are the system, it doesn’t exist without people like you who buy us, but he doesn’t say anything.

She seems to take this as agreement.

It isn’t.

“So, yeah. I’m just... I’m really sorry, Chris. Will this throw your whole, you know, graduation and everything off, or do you think you’ll still be good?”

Does she even really care? Chris swallows and raises his head, to look at her again, fixing his eyes just slightly to the left of her face, where it won’t be obvious he isn’t focused on her. An old trick, one he used to do to stay safe in training, maybe... maybe before that.

Even though he can’t remember a before that anymore.

Because of people who buy people like him.

“I’ll, um, I’ll be good,” He says, and the words taste like dust and feel like gravel on his tongue. “I worked out a, a, a-a plan with, with my, um advisor. So I’ll... I’ll be-”

so good for you

“Fine.”

“Great.” She relaxes, all smiles again, and reaches over putting her hand over his left arm, gripping a little. Chris feels the weight of it like the clap of restraints forcing him down on a table and stiffens, looking right at her the way he’s supposed to.

Years go by, but the training isn’t gone. Not all the way.

“Listen,” She says, voice low. “I really am sorry. But you just-... can’t go around thinking everybody who does something you don’t like is bad, you know?”

His heart races in his throat, he can barely swallow around it. “Yes,” He says, softly. She doesn’t hear the first stirrings of panic. But he feels them. “I... know.”

Good boy.

“I’ll see you around, Chris, okay? I’m glad we talked about this.” She pats his arm, like a handler almost, and then pushes herself to her feet. The chair scrapes back and Chris’s teeth grind together as the sound ricochets around inside him. The dim warm lights overhead lay heavily over the fabric he wears to protect himself from touch like that.

It’s not enough.

He can still feel the hand on his arm as she walks away, heads out the double-doors and is gone.

Chris’s hand slides to the feather and he pushes the silicone plastic between his teeth, letting his tongue press up against the carved vanes, sinking into the familiar sensation, letting it wrap around him, calm his pulse, help him rebuild the thin wall he needs between himself and the world.

He stares blankly off into space, chewing the feather, unnoticed by the few other people in the Student Center this early in the morning. 

She probably feels so much better.

Like so many other people in his life, she made herself feel better by making Chris feel so much worse.

After a while, still chewing on the feather, he picks his pencil back up and starts to draw another moai.

He’s probably going to fail this test.

---

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @slaintetowhump , @astrobly, @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @moose-teeth , @cubeswhump , @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary

[aptericia]

thanks for the tag!! I’m tagging uhhhh @vellatra and anyone else who wants to play!

I answered these questions for myself here

Here are answers for Trace and Signe! The story doesn’t have a lot of characters overall, and many of them aren’t fleshed out enough to answer these for ;-;

Are you named after anyone?

TRACE: Not that I know of. That isn’t very common where I live. SIGNE: Of course I am. My name is a demon’s, and it’s said to curse anyone who speaks to its bearer… Not funny? Heh, well. I have no idea.

When was the last time you cried?

TRACE: I’m not much of a crier, so I don’t really remember… (<- he’s lying, it was less than a week ago) SIGNE: You’ll just have to imagine.

Do you have kids?

TRACE: No. I’m not good with kids, and I wouldn’t have time to care for them anyway. SIGNE: No. I’m not good with kids, and I wouldn’t have time to care for them anyway.

Do you use sarcasm?

TRACE: Hmm, I try not to, but sometimes it slips out. SIGNE: I’ve never used sarcasm in my life. Certainly not when answering this question.

What’s the first thing you notice about others?

TRACE: I try to note what mood they’re in and determine if they want anything from me. SIGNE: Let’s just say… I already know everything about you, friend.

What’s your eye color?

TRACE: Dark brown, almost black SIGNE: Just the opposite—light blue, almost colorless.

Scary stories or happy endings?

TRACE: Happy endings I suppose, as long as they’re not just immature. SIGNE: Mmm, the story matters more than the tone to me. But I’ll say happy endings.

Any special talents?

TRACE: I… feel like I had more talents when I was younger. I used to do well at music, math, and writing… But these days, my job doesn’t require much talent, so I’ve left those to wither. SIGNE: I could probably kill you if I wanted to.

Where were you born?

TRACE: In the southeast of Salina, near the coast. It’s a surprisingly different place from here on the western border. SIGNE: Hell :)

What are your hobbies?

TRACE: Reading and cleaning, though I guess those are more ways to de-stress. Sometimes I go to concerts or sporting events when I have time. SIGNE: Woodcarving, but it's been a while since I've done any. Messing with people is always a good pastime, though.

Do you have any pets?

TRACE: No, but my older sister once rescued a lizard and kept it against our parents’ wishes. I think I played with it sometimes. SIGNE: Ha, where I would I keep something like that? And anyways, animals are too wary of me.

What sports do you play/have played?

TRACE: I’ve never played any sports… I’m not exactly weak, but my endurance has always been pretty bad. SIGNE: A handful, but never seriously. Track, shooting, cycling, and martial arts come to mind.

How tall are you?

TRACE: 5’11”, although my whole family is on the tall side. SIGNE: Just under 5’1”. Short, especially to the giants around here.

Favorite subject in school?

TRACE: Math—particularly the subjects with practical applications, like statistics. I did well in most classes, though, and I also sung in the school choir. SIGNE: Assuming I went to school, hmm? …Well, I did. Never cared much for any subject, though. I guess I could say history.

Dream job?

TRACE: Er, my dream job? …Well, my current one pays well enough, so I guess I have no complaints… SIGNE: I wouldn’t say I have one, not anymore. But it'd be fun to have a job that lets me travel all over the world.

15 Questions Tag

Super duper thanks for the tag @maskedemerald

Rules: Answer the 15 questions as your OC or yourself. Tag up to 15 people.

Tagging: @raichana @kyuponstories @aptericia @the-down-upside-finch & @mister-writes

Teach me more about your characters! Please!

Also, my answers are gonna fudge details because some of these questions are not suited for fantasy projects!

Are you named after anyone?

CAS: Aye, Castowen the Brave. Naming kids after folk heroes is pretty common where I'm from. CONORIC: I cannot answer for my real name... my birth name, but apparently Conoric is the name of a folk hero from the same tales as my brother. SARABONNEY: I should hope not! In the ancient customs of my forefathers, my name translates to 'dead flower' to confuse evil spirits. Everyone's got names that mix good and bad things. HUGHWEN: Not as far as I know. There's only one Hughwen Shelborne. GWYNNEN: I believe a great-grandfather on my mother's side. FRYSZKA: Not that I am aware! I have many names that were sponsored by relatives but to my knowledge, I am the only Fryszka I know of! PENTOS: I cannot see that is any of your business.

When was the last time you cried?

CAS: Not since my mother was still around, Lady keep her. That woman could brings tears from a statue! CONORIC: I cannot recall. (He can) SARABONNEY: A long time ago, probably. I'm not so easy to startle, you know. And besides, why does it matter? HUGHWEN: Oh, I can't tell you that! It's a good story though! GWYNNEN: I don't know if it was the last time... but it certainly is the time I remember the strongest. It was the day I decided that I needed to change things. FRYSZKA: Ooh, I'm afraid quite recently. I can be quite tearful! PENTOS: I do not believe that I... cry. (He is correct)

Do you have kids?

CAS: No, not me. If thing'd gone differently, I'd probably have 2 or 3 by now but... my calling was elsewhere. CONORIC: No. Someday... perhaps. But no. SARABONNEY: Are you joking? I've got my hands full with all my brothers and cousins! I don't think even I could handle any more mites running around needing attention! HUGHWEN: (chokes) I... cannot say for certain. I certainly cannot rule that possibility out, if you understand my meaning. GWYNNEN: Not as yet but... I have my eyes on a certain lady... so perhaps someday..? FRYSZKA: No, but when that time comes I want to have so very many! Especially girls! (she trails off, daydreaming) PENTOS: I cannot imagine anything more repulsive.

Do you use sarcasm?

CAS: Not likely. That kinda talk is liable to land me in some pretty hot water. Not that I need the help, mind you. CONORIC: No, I find it rather tiresome actually. SARABONNEY: I don't... mean to, but... people can be so frustrating. You must understand, I know it's frowned upon and all, but some days being sarcastic is preferable to... the alternatives! HUGHWEN: Does a bird have wings? ;) GWYNNEN: I find that I sound more flippant or sarcastic when faced with challenges and challengers who test my patience. FRYSZKA: Sometimes! If the spirit takes me~ PENTOS: What do you think?

What’s the first thing you notice about others?

CAS: It's hard to put in words... Generally, how they carry themselves. There's a lot to take in about a person when you first meet them. CONORIC: Where they look, if they make eye contact and that sort of thing. People often look towards that which interests them, giving me ample time to study them. SARABONNEY: I think I notice their eyes first. I tend to look there and... I dunno, I guess I just get a feel for people! Especially if they match my gaze! Which isn't all that often actually... HUGHWEN: Oooh, I shouldn't say.... All right, if you insist. I notice where they keep their money... and typically how much of it they carry. GWYNNEN: Their posture, especially their hands. In my line of work, it helps to be ready for any kind of trouble... even from the most unsuspecting of souls. FRYSZKA: They're outfit! You can tell a lot about a person by how they choose to present themselves, you know! PENTOS: Voices. They often draw me out of my thoughts...

What’s your eye colour?

CAS: That kind browny-orange that a lot of Ethelians have, right? CONORIC: They're a kind of dull red, I suppose. SARABONNEY: Oh, they're orange. Do you like them? HUGHWEN: They're orange, wouldn't you say? GWYNNEN: Dark brown. A strong Ethelian colour, or so I'm told. FRYSZKA: They a shade of pinkish red! In my native tongue, it's called 'py' and it's a colour that symbolises life and passion! Beautiful, isn't it? PENTOS: Amber, I suppose you'd call it. I really do not care.

Scary stories or happy endings?

CAS: Happy endings. If a story doesn't end well then what's the point in reading it? CONORIC: It really depends on the story. SARABONNEY: Are those my only choices? That's not very many... if pressed, I suppose I'd have to say 'scary' stories. If it all ends too happy that it just feels... I dunno... fake, I guess. HUGHWEN: Who doesn't love a happy ending? GWYNNEN: Happy endings all around. FRYSZKA: Ooh! Ohh! I have to say both! I love happy endings, especially in romance stories... but I also love being thrilled, scared and sad... especially in romance stories. I think I just romance stories. PENTOS: I prefer text books. I have no time for children's stories...

Any special talents?

CAS: Like all Ethelians worth a penny, 'm a pretty good cook. CONORIC: Nothing to boast of, I'm afraid. SARABONNEY: I know my way around all the plants and flowers in my neck of the woods. And if you've been there, then you don't need me to boast about how impressive that is! HUGHWEN: Coin tricks and gambling, mainly. Although, if you ask some of the women I've know, they might be able to add to that list. ;) GWYNNEN: I count myself as a skilled horseman. FRYSZKA: Well, I don't mean to brag, but I know my way around any marketplace and know all the typical prices of fabrics, jewellery, food and luxury goods off by heart. I'm really quite dependable! PENTOS: I have many. I was raised to be highly efficient. I know all the plant-life that grows naturally on the Eastern continent, I'm fluent in all known languages and some ancients ones (he continues on and on)

Where were you born?

CAS: Walbury, in Ethelia. It's a big town with too much going on. CONORIC: In a manor largely devoid of anything I care to remember. SARABONNEY: The tiny village of Asterwood just off the Bear King Forest. You probably haven't heard of it, it's not on many maps... HUGHWEN: Can't remember. GWYNNEN: In the manor of Canbury in the north of Ethelia. There's no place quite like it. FRYSZKA: You must'nt think ill of it, but I was actually born in Sal Rega, in Santcria. I know that all that place is known for is those poor 'Children of Sal Rega' but honestly, there is more to my home town that just tragedy! PENTOS: Kyros. You'll need permission for anything more specific.

What are your hobbies?

CAS: Woodworking and whittling. I'm pretty handy with a knife. CONORIC: I find reading quite comforting and I've been quite taken with writing down my thoughts of late. SARABONNEY: Oh, I love to cook like any proper Ethelia, but I also like to do pottery and art. I design all my jars and pots myself! (she proudly presents some of the ugliest looking pots & jars known to man). HUGHWEN: Gambling and spending money. The same as any right thinking man, don't you agree? GWYNNEN: I'm afraid I have little time for hobbies these days. My work is my life. FRYSZKA: Just a little pursuit of mine to create perfumes! I haven't made anything yet... I'm, um... studying. (she has, she is not, and the reek). PENTOS: (scoffs) You mean besides filling in asinine surveys? I suppose card games for one would count as a hobby, yes?

Do you have any pets?

CAS: Can't say I ever have had a pet. I'd love one though, a great big scary thing. CONORIC: Not unless you count messenger birds. SARABONNEY: Well... Steen's not exactly a pet, but... I do feed him and take care of him. Steen's more of a helper... he pulls the carts for me when I got to town, but... well, he's the closest thing I've got to a pet. HUGHWEN: Never had time for pets. GWYNNEN: Indeed. My household has always kept dogs. My own dog, Bron, is as eager as puppy despite getting on in his years. FRYSZKA: I have an albino snake that I take with me everywhere, her name is Petrissa! She's so tiny, sometimes I forget where I put her! PENTOS: No.

What sports do you play/have played?

CAS: I used to play a lot of street games when I was a lad but now that I'm grown, the only sport I lay claim to is the sport of Monster hunting and prying squabbling farmers apart. CONORIC: None, I'm afraid. My condition makes me rather... ill-suited for such activities. SARABONNEY: We didn't really have sports growing up... I think we just made up rules for games we only knew the names of! HUGHWEN: There's a Mizani pastime of throwing knifes and darts at targets. It's not gentlemanly to brag, I understand, but I hold a few records in some cities across the sea. GWYNNEN: Horse-racing and jousting. Not the best but by no means the worst either, mark you! FRYSZKA: Ahaha, oh dear no. I was far to inflexible and clumsy for sports. I have always enjoyed watching them though! PENTOS: Sports are a fool's activity.

How tall are you?

CAS: (He checks) So... 175cm... what's that? Like 5'9''? CONORIC: 163cm at last count. SARABONNEY: I'm 161cm, which I know is short but honestly, I can manage just fine! It's not my fault everyone else is taller! (she is of a quite average height and will not hear otherwise :/) HUGHWEN: Guess? ...no? What a shame... I'm 177cm. GWYNNEN: 185cm by my reckoning. Quite tall for an Ethelian or so I've heard. FRYSZKA: Me? I'm just a tiny little 154cm! And I truly love it! PENTOS: I am exactly 195cm, which, I believe, is 6'5''.

Favourite subject in school?

CAS: What makes you think I had a favourite subject? (laughs) I was a rotten brat of a student, never paid attention to a thing! CONORIC: History, I gather. I was rather reclusive in my studies. SARABONNEY: I'll tell you now, I wish I was reading. Would've made my life a whole lot easier... but no, I believe I was most interested in art and cooking. HUGHWEN: Oh, I found learning about chemistry quite fascinating. Do that surprise you? GWYNNEN: History and law. The two go hand-in-hand, I feel, and have shaped a lot of what irks me about that way things are today... FRYSZKA: Mathematics! Oh, I love numbers so much! It's so reassuring to have something so unifying across all of the world! PENTOS: (scoffs) All of them. The pursuit of knowledge is not something one can simply put half their heart in.

Dream job?

CAS: Oh, a dream job, is it? I think if all things settled down then I'd like to keep my duties as a Castleguard Captain. Feels good to help others and prepare the next generation too. CONORIC: I really haven't considered what the would even be... SARABONNEY: I'm not sure... I just know that I haven't found it yet. I want to do something that keeps me active, learning and helping others. Suppose that applies to a lot of jobs, doesn't it... HUGHWEN: A rich drunk? That counts as a dream job, wouldn't you agree? GWYNNEN: I once held lofty ambitions of being a county judge... a way to enact change and make life better for everyone... Ah, but these days I think I would settle for the job of beloved husband and father. FRYSZKA: Oh, you know what I would truly love? I would love to own a dress shop by the sea! PENTOS: Botanist. Thus, my studies.

[moonrainbowfish]

Hi! can i please get a harry potter golden trio and It 2017 matchup(romantic please)

im a gay asexual demiboy and use he/they pronouns.

personality: I’m somewhat quiet and reserved at first but once I’m comfortable w/ someone I can be pretty extroverted. Sometimes i get pretty mad but not super often. I like to think that I’m pretty funny lmao. I can be kinda rude sometimes, i make some mean jokes usually not even realizing and I kinda lack empathy but I think I’m a little more blunt than rude

Appearance: im 5’4, kinda chubby, im black but more brown skinned, and i have short curly hair its like a kinda grown-out fade ig

Hobbies: cooking, baking, and art

Likes: music, math, anime, horror movies, winter, and scented candles

What I want in a partner: I would like someone who wouldn’t mind giving me lots of hugs, holding my hand, kisses, and cuddling but also respecting my boundaries cause I sometimes don’t like being touched. honestly, I prefer someone clingy and protective.

extras: Intp, 5w4, 549, true neutral/neutral evil, fav color is green, love lang is physical touch and quality time, big three: virgo sun, libra moon, taurus rising

thank you!!

Harry Potter:

I ship you with: Ron Weasley!

He loves how you are so honest and never sugarcoat anything. He really appreciates having a blunt partner

To him you're one of the most funniest people he's ever met in his life and the two of you sometimes could spend hours telling each other jokes

Ron is not the best at cooking, or baking and sometimes it ends in a catastrophe, but with you he enjoys doing it. And everything you cook/bake for him, he eats up in only a few minutes. Ron really does love food, especially your cooking

While your temper and his own can certainly clash at times, it's sometimes the best to it take out and talk about it, instead of holding your feelings in and Ron always makes sure to apologize after every argument you have, and most of the time they are pretty harmless, but do happen everyonce in a while

I have this headcanon, that Ron loves to cuddle and especially with you, his beloved partner. He enjoys wrapping his arms around you protectively and holding you close to him, but he'd also always respect your boundaries.

It 2017:

I ship you with: Richie Tozier!

Richie hadn't really noticed you before until he saw you one day in class and immediately fell head over heels for you. You could say it was love at first sight

Most of the time he saw you being rather quiet and in your own world, and he knew under all that layers, you were quite outgoing and he was down for the challenge to see that extroverted side of yours

Now the both of you love cracking jokes and seeing who can make the other laugh the most. And while both of your jokes can be pretty mean sometimes, neither of you really seemed to care, because you were just having some fun

Richie loves spending quality time with you. He always enjoys hanging out with you. Doing math homework together, watching an anime, or horror movie with you, while having some snacks, playing his favourite video games together, you name it...

Richie isn't the most affectionate, nor touchy person, but for you he's always ready to hold your hand in his, give you kisses, or even cuddle you. He treasures you so much!

I hope you like it! Thanks for requesting!

xoxo

-Freya

[tiny-smallest]

day twenty-four - heart

Rating: G Characters: Henry Warnings: none Description: Everyone puts a little bit of their being into their work around here, but there’s only one person who everyone can point to as the soul of the studio.

It’s not Joey.

Also on AO3!

---

At Joey Drew Studios, everyone put a little of themselves into every thing they did.

As much of a grouch as Sammy was, nobody would deny the man had a unique ear for music, an all-encompassing love for his craft that led to him creating scores that people who scoffed at cartoons would consider were trying too hard for a silly Saturday cartoon show. His fiery temper was outmatched only by the fire of passion that burned for his music, and people who weren't especially drawn to music or even to the cartoon they were helping to make would often find themselves humming or listening to the soundtracks for the show while working.

The band wove their souls into everything they played. Talent was hardly short here, especially among those who could play multiple instruments and step in when someone else was sick. Together with Sammy and Norman they created magic in auditory form.

Damian, Bailey, Susie, and Allison's voice talents were second to none, and anybody wandering by the recording studio could find them gesturing along to their lines, true actors in their own rights. Their abilities and their skills were nothing short of inspiring. Watching them slip into another person's voice like it was a second skin was utterly fascinating even to people who had never really considered what went on in the booth before.

The storyboarding staff brought everything they had to their work, and even people from other departments could see it in the liveliness of the characters, the way they could almost leap off the page. It was the little things that came to life here- the slightest extra line on a face could mean the difference between several different expressions. Movement that could convey tone and a character's true feelings without ever having to outwardly tell the audience what was happening. They took words on a page and converted it into a completely different medium.

The background artists' souls were found in their work, especially the occasional watercolor backgrounds. Colors and paints and life happened in that department; the art of stitching the surrounding world together, a real space in which the characters could exist. It was the kind of job that looked easy until you tried to do it. Nobody else could keep track of the ten million things that were sometimes in a scene except for these people.

Grant guarded their finances, kept loving, careful track of their money, ensured everyone got paid and paid on time. He filed their taxes, projected profits, and kept all of the bookkeeping organized neatly away in his filing cabinets for ease of use. Numbers were his safe haven, math a sure and steady concept he reveled in.

Shawn's toys were adorable; everyone loved them, adults and children alike, and he kept a careful eye on the factory's machines to ensure all of the toys were of the highest quality manageable. He would spend hours in his office designing new ones, showing them off with pride.

Thomas ensured the Machine was well, tending to its mass of pipes and gears and gauges and pressure valves. Nobody wanted to know what would happen--to the toons or the building--if it failed. Thomas made sure that didn't happen, and truly it would take a genius to understand the mechanics behind what he had to comprehend to keep it running as smoothly as he did.

Wally kept the studio clean, taking immense satisfaction in ensuring a clean, safe environment for everyone else to work in. It was far less simple than merely cleaning- keeping track of where he'd made his rounds, ensuring he got in the way as little as possible, how to safely clean certain equipment that could be dangerous? All part of a day's work, and he was pleased to be a part of it.

And then there was the one who kept the studio functioning the way it did.

Everywhere you went, there was Henry.

In the music department, listening to the band, workshopping with Sammy, watching Norman change lightbulbs, helping him haul projectors occasionally. In the recording booth, directing the voice actors, giggling at their flubs, encouraging them through stage fright. He worked with the storyboards artists, the background artists, the writers. He helped Grant with filing when he found him staying at his office too late, listened to Shawn's pitches, tour the studio with Thomas to peek at the pipes, and check in with Wally.

Henry's passion beat in the chest of the studio, radiating life outwards wherever he went.

It only made sense, really, that the studio died when it was removed.

Nothing functions with a vital organ missing, after all.

[letterboxd]

Obsession.

Ella Kemp dives into Letterboxd’s 100 highest-rated, obsessively rewatched films of 2020 to find out why we love them—and to give Hollywood a heads-up on what we want to rewatch again and again.

Take note, development execs: we want to watch more of everything that makes us feel alive; that makes us feel thankful to be. To bottle that feeling, and drink it up as often, and as obsessively, as we like. We also want: more singing, more dancing, more drugs, more talking animals, more of whatever Director Bong is serving—and make everything gayer.

We know this because, a few years back, the Letterboxd team asked one very simple question: what’s the highest-rated film of all time, when the criteria is that you must have seen it five or more times? Not the ‘guilty’ pleasures, not the ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ gems, but the already-excellent films that are also inherently rewatchable. The resulting top 100 from back then are all extremely, objectively good. What can we say—you have great taste.

Because 2020 is, well, 2020, we revisited this idea to see how four years and an endless quarantine might have changed things. The usual suspects have been rounded up (Christopher, Quentin, Ridley, Damien, David and company), but a lot has shifted in the Highest Rated Obsessively Rewatched Club for 2020.

The top ten in the 100 highest rated, obsessively rewatched films of 2020.

Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire is now top of the heap, where Spike Jonze’s Her was number one last time around. In fact, only Jaws and Carol remain from the last top ten. The Letterboxd community favors a wider world view: in 2017, the top 100 had only one film by a female director; in 2020 there are eight. The list has gone from exactly zero films entirely in languages other than English, to two (Portrait and Parasite), with several more containing a portion of non-English dialogue. Not quite leaping the one-inch tall barrier of subtitles, but it’s progress. And, there is substantially more LGBTQ+ representation all round.

This year’s top 100 shows that we still like to return to the idea of the auteur, and the challenge of a franchise. In 2017, Christopher Nolan was the filmmaker with the highest number of highly rated, obsessively rewatched films; in 2020 Quentin Tarantino has taken the lead, just ahead of Nolan. Joining them in the multiple-titles group are Edgar Wright, Peter Jackson, Joe and Anthony Russo, epic-scale filmmakers from whom we’ve learned so much, and whose films have more to offer the viewer on every watch. (When ratings are not part of the equation, Avengers: Endgame—still with a respectable 3.9 average—was the Most Obsessively Rewatched title of 2019. “You give me someone flying, turning invisible, super speed… that’s where I live,” explains obsessive rewatcher Max Joseph this Letterboxd interview. “In Endgame, I get a little bit of every genre and mood.”)

Obsessed with obsession

What is “obsessive”? To put some kind of parameters around the search for this year’s top 100, our team looked for the feature films that had five or more rated watches from a minimum of 150 Letterboxd members each, then we sorted that list by the ratings of those members.

But that word—“obsessive”—got me thinking. Just how obsessive are we talking here? It’s reassuring to know that Parasite is, naturally, a film we enjoy returning to, but when we’re talking about rewatches plural, what happens when we sort these 100 highly rated titles by another value: the number of diary entries logged by these obsessive members. And what would that list say about our tendencies as watchers?

Spoiler: we also pulled those numbers, and found an entirely different top ten:

The most obsessively rewatched, highest-rated films of all time, as at 2020.

Look at that image. Compare it with the inarguable cinephilia of the ratings-based top ten, which soars on critical strength. What are we seeing here? That’s not the question. The real question is: what are we feeling? What do these ten films do to us so consistently, that helps them to retain high ratings across many, many, many rewatches?

You see, in the top 100, members typically log their favorites between five and seven times—but there’s a select handful of titles that see an average of up to 24 viewings per obsessive member. You read that right. There is a film on Letterboxd that multiple obsessive members have watched 24 times or more, at the time of writing.

Comedy that never gets old

The film in question is Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s What We Do in the Shadows, a genre-smart mockumentary about three vampire housemates just, well, pure vibing. It’s entirely in a league of its own, no doubt helped by a spin-off series, with the next entry, The Lonely Island’s Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping racking up an average of 17.7 rewatches per obsessive member.

These top two most obsessively rewatched titles make sense. When you’re feeling low, or when there’s some time to kill, what better place to turn than somewhere where the jokes never get old? As James writes on Letterboxd, Shadows “never fails to make me laugh”. Never fails. Taking a chance on a new comedy harbors its risks, so when you find the ones that work, you have to hold onto them like gold dust. It’s the sense of familiarity that comes from the same sharp, self-aware sketches, the endlessly quotable one-liners and screenshots that make memes feel like works of art.

(On that note, I asked the team: what were the highest-rated, obsessively rewatched comedy specials? No surprises: Bo Burnham’s masterful 2016 Netflix special Make Happy, and John Mulaney’s Kid Gorgeous at Radio City. Comedy is good when it catches you off guard—but in a pandemic, it’s even better when you can rely on it to deliver that same rush of endorphins, every time.)

Thank you for the music

Speaking of pick-me-ups, ever notice how much better you feel after karaoke? Or, when you know everyone else has gone out so you can let rip across every inch of the house with ultimate privacy? The cathartic thrill that comes from a sing-along is what keeps our obsessive members returning to musicals, increasingly. There’s comfort in memorized lyrics; the words we yell and hold dear.

You’ve got this in Popstar (‘Finest Girl’, anyone?) and, crucially, in a double-bill of jukebox musicals celebrating ABBA’s greatest hits: Mamma Mia! and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. With fifteen rewatches on average for the former, and almost seventeen for the latter, the sequel’s slight upper hand proves the film’s triumphant formula—there really is an endless supply of ABBA bangers—but also that the repurposing of the most pivotal tracks (‘Mamma Mia’ and ‘Waterloo’) will work even better the second time around, due to the familiarity, both of the songs and now their new-found purpose in this world.

The feeling of singing along with Lily James as Donna, as she dances around Paris with her young Harry, of latching onto Cher’s every breath as she reunites with the eponymous Fernando—these moments become part of our own memory, and the satisfaction that comes from performing them again and again never fades. It’s also why so many musicals are rewatchable staples. Singin’ in the Rain, Rocketman, Bohemian Rhapsody and Pitch Perfect all feature in the top 100.

Out of interest, I asked the team to lift the curtain on non-narrative music films to see which greats we return to. Again, zero surprise (to me, at least): Jonathan Demme’s transcendent Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense is, and has long been, the highest-rated, most obsessively rewatched concert documentary on Letterboxd. And it’s only been a few months, but the Disney+ filmed version of Hamilton is up there, along with Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé. #BEYHIVE, come in.

Maybe we should trust love

At the other end of the spectrum, two titles in the most obsessively rewatched top ten point to our tendencies to find catharsis in our most extreme, most vulnerable expressions of emotion. Our two revealing films here are Love, Simon and Interstellar—one a grounded and sensitive coming-of-age picture of a teenage boy’s coming out, the other an epic space-travel thriller. Still, both films understand that, ultimately, love transcends all.

These films make room for us to revisit these most searing feelings, of love hidden, lost, afraid or universal, they let us cry out what we relate to, and escape into whichever onscreen emotions we prefer to project ourselves into beyond our own lives, time and time again. Because however much changes, you know you’ll always crave and be rewarded by love. (And by the existential exploration that often accompanies these big feelings: Don Hertzfeldt's World of Tomorrow is the highest-rated, most obsessively rewatched short film with Letterboxd members.)

Ink spots and needle drops

The idea of projection—of escape beyond our own lives—comes back often when thinking of the rewatch. But certain titles reveal how we choose to find escape in a quite literal form; observe the love for Tangled, rewatched on average ten times per obsessive member.

And then there’s Shrek 2, revisited on average 7.9 times (more on this bizarre, outstanding oddity on its own soon). The leap of faith into an animated world is one that offers a blank canvas painted over with new colors: the pastel pinks and soft peach oranges of sunset skies in Tangled, the rich purples and blues of the twinkling lights of the afterlife in Coco, the playful blue waters of Moana, with the sun giving everything a new glow. Animation works as relaxation here, clearing the mind and coloring it calmly time and time again. Elsa said it first: you can, and should, let it all go.

It is entirely probable, of course, that no Letterboxd parent is logging the Frozens—or any other animated family film, for that matter—as often as their household is actually watching them, the truth of which would completely upend this data. We know the math underpinning this whole exercise is somewhat arbitrary, but it’s an interesting starting point from which to analyze why certain things just work, again and again.

Take the oddity that is Shrek 2, deserving of its own dissection purely because of how masterfully it combines so many of the previously established elements. This film and its predecessor create so many vivid images that fit into the category of animated escapism, but music plays a major part, also. ‘Accidentally In Love’ by Counting Crows as Shrek and Fiona blissfully enjoy their honeymoon period; ‘Funky Town’ by Lipps Inc. as Shrek, Fiona and Donkey roll into Far Far Away; Jennifer Saunders as Fairy Godmother, with her sublime cover of Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Holding Out For A Hero’. There are too many perfect needle-drop moments to count, and every time the rewatch comes around, they feel new.

Add to the comforting visuals and euphoric music the countless one-liners, perfectly performed by Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, but really, here, Rupert Everett as Prince Charming—a squirm-inducing, note-perfect pantomimic performance. Shrek 2 might just be the defining example of what makes a good movie the best movie, and one that only grows greater with every rewatch. Lucky us.

Festive fever

The inclusion of A Christmas Story, the second-last in our most rewatched top ten, makes sense when considering the times in our lives when we turn to movies for comfort (and discomfort: note the Hallowe’en-related rewatchables in the top 100). A Christmas Story might not be your first festive choice, but you will have your own equivalent. The Muppet Christmas Carol also made the top 100, with Elf, Love, Actually and the Home Alone movies bubbling under. We recognize all the beats, and seeing as the holidays return each year, it’s natural that we return to the titles that make us feel most at home within them.

Like Carol. Darling Carol. The last of our top ten most most most rewatched. Flung out of space into our eyeballs by Todd Haynes as some sort of Christmas miracle, its rewatchability as much seasonal as it is about love, representation, vintage glamor and that final scene. Let’s see where Happiest Season sits this time next year, shall we?

And so, what can filmmakers and distributors learn from what we want to see, not just once, but again and again? In just four years the list of titles the Letterboxd community has chosen to revisit and protect has blossomed with an open heart and feverishly enthusiastic mind.

Looking over the top 100 highest-rated, obsessively rewatched films in 2020, we want more queer love: Portrait, Moonlight and Carol but also Booksmart, The Favourite, Call Me by Your Name. We definitely need more singing and dancing: Suspiria, La La Land, Singin’ in the Rain, Mamma Mia and beyond.

We want more adventure, more time travel, more mind-melters, more drinking, exploring, investigating, more talking animals, more drugs, more laughs, more tears, more goosebumps. We want more full-body feelings of falling in love with a movie you know you’ll hold onto with everything you’ve got.

In the end, numbers can only tell us so much, and these numbers are drawn from what we’ve already seen, which is what’s already managed to make it through the system. There’s as much to learn from how these films were made as there is from what they’re about. Because, no matter how many AI tools people dream up to help with the green-lighting process, moviemaking is fundamentally about magic. And when all the right ingredients make it into the cauldron, the spell can be so strong that a film will win our hearts forever.

Related content

The Highest-Rated Obsessively Rewatched Club for 2020

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #333

“imaginary chain  /  the one you never break  /  seething all alone”

Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah, I'm pretty open about what I'm afraid of. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What class in high school did you struggle with the most? I honestly don't remember with certainty, but it was probably math or economics. At least, I think econ was my senior year. What could you talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, a few game franchises... maybe a couple more topics. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah, but I don't have many games on there and rarely touch the ones I do. Do you like gaming? I do, but not as much as I did for most of my life. I mostly just play WoW now, and even that I'm not that into anymore. Part of it though comes from not buying any new games that I'm interested in because 1.) no money and 2.) no proper console, and you can only replay games so many times before you're just... yeah, done. Do you like reading books? Some days. Do you like religion? All things considered? No. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Y'know, growing up, I actually liked watching my younger neighbor play one of those games, but I don't remember which. Though he never actually "played" it... just ran around wreaking havoc, lol. I do however think GTAV was the one that Jason and Jacob started playing together when we moved into the apartment, and I thought the story was okay; I don't think they ever got far into it, though. Definitely wasn't Jason's sort of game, and I don't think it was too much up Jacob's alley, either. Can you twerk? I haven't tried and you will never see me try either, lmao. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes, but I almost never use it. If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back? Yes. If your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back? No. Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Yes, because of how badly she hurt him. I don't have any negative feelings towards her now, though. We're actually friends, haha. The irony. Are you an easy lay? What weird wording. But whatever, quite the polar opposite actually. When’s the last time you said you were sorry? A few days ago. Are there any songs you listen to everyday? No. Would you like living on the coast? As someone who lives in a state hit by hurricanes usually every year and has seen the incredible damage they usually bring to the coast, no. I don't like the smell or gritty feel of salty air, either. When’s the last time you were really late to something? No idea. That's usually not a problem with me. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? The last person I actually stopped like-liking would be Girt, and that would be because I just came to the realization I saw him too much as my brother instead of boyfriend. It just always felt awkward. Do you still talk to that person? Yeah, we're good. No hard feelings or anything between us. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Do you trust easily? Fuck no. I'll be cautious, at least to some degree, about new people for a while. What is the last song to make you cry? Since I've actually behaved and not listened to any trigger songs, it's been a long while, but it was probably "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Last person you hung up on? I'm sure some automated message. I barely ever answer the phone to numbers I don't recognize, though. Where was your last car ride to and from? To Wal-Mart w/ Mom to pick up our order and then back home. Next big outing? *shrug* Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? Not really, no. Considering I'm by far my most authentic self online, I actually tend to appreciate virtual friends more, if I'm being honest. I try to keep up with those people. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? Not really, no. I think I saw Warcraft the day it came into theaters, though. Do movies often make you cry? What kind of films/scenes make you tear up most? Yep. Tragic romance tends to do it the most, I think. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have one to track my menstrual cycle as well as another that tracks my daily caloric intake, but I'm bad at using it because it's tedious if I actually have to measure something. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? Ummm if you mean like, in general, probably my mom's. But this most certainly depends on the subject I'm taking feedback on. What is something society "expects" you to do that you don't want to do and/or don't plan on doing? Shaving my legs came to mind first. Granted, I will if there is almost any chance of someone seeing them, but otherwise, I just don't care. We respect women with body hair on this account and see them as no less feminine. Are you interested in architecture? Is there any particular style that you're drawn to? I think it's cool, yeah. I should have an answer for this, given architecture was a massive focus in Art History the last time I was in school... Roman architecture comes to my head first, if that says anything. What was one of your favorite things from the nineties? BOY OH BOY, SO MUCH!! I'm probably gonna say the toys. There was some dope shit, man. Do you collect things pertaining to an animal? ANYTHING and EVERYTHING featuring a meerkat!!!!! :''') Do you wish that people were kinder to spiders? Well, yes. I hope everyone in their heart wishes this, even if they're afraid of them. They're very important to our ecosystem, and none are out there to harm us; their existence does us a favor. Where do you normally order pizza from? Domino's (my favorite) or LIttle Caesar's for the price. Did your parents keep anything of yours from when you were a baby? Oh yes, loads of stuff that's stored away somewhere. Do you own one of those "____ For Dummies" books? No, but I feel like we had one at some point? What was the last VHS tape that you watched? Yikes, who knows. Did you watch Boy Meets World back in the day? I actually didn't, no. Our old neighbor though loved it so much that she named her daughter Tapanga (deliberately spelled that way). Who is your favorite Scooby Doo character? I never really had one. Maybe Thelma. If I were to give you a coloring book, what would you want its theme to be? Animals. Have you ever won a stuffed animal at a carnival? Possibly a small one. I can tell you I did however accidentally stab the guy who ran the dart-throwing booth though, lmfao. He was obviously fine, and it wasn't a bad wound. I felt SOOOOOO bad. Are you a fan of narwhals? I'm a fan of any animal. Narwhals are definitely fascinating creatures. Grape or orange soda? Orange. Grape-flavored soda ain't my thing. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so painstakingly boring and repetitive. Did you have a favorite Disney movie as a child? It was and still is The Lion King. Do you or have you ever owned a portable gaming console? Yeah, a GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. Is shyness cute? It definitely can be. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning before? No. Do you like to gossip, or do you prefer to keep your mouth shut? I'm not a gossip fan. Have you ever vandalized someone else’s property before? Most definitely not. Are your parents divorced? Yes. Have you ever been under suicide watch for 72 hours in a psychiatric ward? Yes; at least here, that's protocol when you're admitted for suicidal thoughts/tendencies. Have you ever gone through your significant other’s phone or social media accounts, or do you respect their privacy? Absolutely not. That shit pisses me off so badly. Do you wear any sort of clothing for religious reasons? No. What's something you worked extremely hard to get? My sanity back. Sounds so dramatic, but I'm literally not kidding. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I remember. How many kids do you want to have? I don't want kids, but to entertain the question, when I did, I wanted three. It's fuckin wild to imagine for even a second that I once wanted that. Do you believe that being gay is a sin? *eye roll* Are you any good at photography? If so, what’s your specialty? I mean it with modesty, but I think I'm pretty good. My favorite thing to photograph are animals, but I generally take most pictures of people by request or pay. Judging by my deviantART account, my nature pics definitely get the most attention. Have you ever been a member of a gang before? Fuckin yikes, no. An infamous gang tried breaking into my childhood home once, so you can probably gather that I would never take part in their "big bad guys" bullshit. Have you ever felt like you were neither male nor female? No, I'm comfortable as a cisgender female. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? NO. Anything with raisins = NO. Do you think you’re attractive? No. Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No, not that I really passed notes to begin with. I'd be mortified, regardless of what it was about. Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? Arctic. Do you have an older brother? Yes. He's technically my half-brother, but I don't see "half"s. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Are your collarbones prominent? Bitch I wish so I could get the damn dermal piercings I've wanted for years. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? As a kid, yeah. So ugly. Do you love yourself? It's... weird. Therapy is making me realize that a part of me, maybe even the bigger one, doesn't, but at the exact same time, I know I have worth just like every other human. I just don't treat myself like I do. What TV shows do you keep up with? None, until Meerkat Manor returns this summer. :') When’s the last time it snowed where you live? A couple months ago we got a little bit of it. Is your belly button pierced? No, but it would be if I was actually skinny. Just in my personal opinion, I don't at all think that that piercing would look nice on someone as overweight as me. Even if my damn dreams come true and I lose all the weight I want, my stomach will never look "normal," even after I get the excess skin removal surgery that will be very high on my priority list for my own self-image that's been nothing but loathsome since 2016. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is the obvious answer. What do you remember the most about your childhood? Lots of imagination. Parents arguing. Playing with my little sister. What age did you get your first hair cut? I have no idea. Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still? No. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would you ever consider shaving your head? Nah. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Who says we don't now? Zombifying parasites already exist among insects and such, so like... it's not unimaginable to one day see one developed enough to infect humans. I sure as fuck hope not, but. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have a dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I did this many, many months ago, but I guess watch an episode of The Witcher by my own volition. I don't really do spontaneous things with how routine I am, but I had a random urge to check it out one morning. How loud can you whistle? Not very loud at all. Does anything on your body hurt or itch right now? My knees really hurt. They're getting worse. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? There's noooo telling, it's been many years. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No. Well, not a *real* one, anyway. Just the little ones for kids. If you had to appear on a game show, which one would you choose? Family Feud. What is your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Food: Are you adventurous or do you stick to what you know? I absolutely stick to what I know. I am SO picky. Is there anything (out of the obvious) that makes you feel really ill? I'm not immediately sure, but there's probably something. Do you bump into things often? Yes. I've always had this weird habit of like... drifting when I walk, so I do this easily. I just kinda wander to the sides a bit without realizing it. What design is on your calendar this year? I don't have a current one. Did you enjoy playing Hop Scotch when you were younger? I did. Do you feel uncomfortable going to the movies by yourself? Nah, not really. I did that with Warcraft and it was actually pretty chill. When thinking about your dream home, what do you think would be your favorite thing to shop for? The ~g o t h i c~ decor. Do you ever listen to those lo-fi hip hop/study music playlists on YouTube/Spotify? No. Are you likelier to work harder if you’re being paid? If not, what drives you to give your best effort? I mean, yeah. I'd assume that's pretty normal. Does the fashion sense of a potential partner matter to you? No. Is there anything that you prefer to write down rather than type? I'm unsure. If you download/torrent things, do you remember the first thing you ever torrented? Oh, the Limewire days of music pirating... but no, I don't remember. What was the last thing you posted on Instagram? Something photography-related, but I don't feel like checking. What do you wish your hair looked like? I wish I could pull off pastel pink hair rn. It also desperately needs a trim. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I'm sure I always will, at least a little. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Uhhhhh have I? I don't think so. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom of the last wedding I shot. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No, but I used to do that big time because I loved "rewatching" stuff when I was on the computer. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mother, big time. Who’s the bravest person you know? Also my mother. Or Sara. What profession do you admire the most? Teachers might just win. The patience that must take, among so many other things. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? No.

[stray-inu-writes]

Aurore ‘George’ Sand - オロル・サンド

Here’s another one of my OCs, about which I will soon post a piece of writing ! She’s based off the French author George, whose real name was Aurore Dupin.

CHARACTER PROFILE Age : 24 Birthdate : February 12 Blood Type : O Height: 5’7’’ Motto : “God doesn’t play dice, but I do.” Likes : a good challenge, loud music, spicy food Dislikes : nosy people, lack of punctuality Ability : “La ville noire”, the ability the control the physical properties of a card such as its density, its directional vector or its speed. Aurore is a gambler of french origin who travels all around the world. She is usually seen in rather masculine or gender neutral outfits such as suits, turtleneck sweaters, with a long coat, mostly in dark colors. Because of her occupation, she dresses very stylish, with minimalistic jewelry. In private, though, she opts for a more casual kind of clothing : high-waisted black jeans with a simple shirt. Partially due to her occupation, she’s very cool-headed and strategic, although her rational temperament sticks with her since her childhood. Aurore is confident in her capacities and won’t hesitate to be ruthless when the situation requires, especially in a game she wants to win. Even if she does everything to avoid being caught in conflicts, she’s an adrenaline junkie, while hiding it extremely well. Trivia » excels at card games, not only because of her ability, but also thanks to her talent» wary of games that only involve luck, since she can’t control anything, but appreciates the adrenaline that comes from the suspense » fluent in French, English and can hold a conversation in Japanese » was born in a middle-class family, in which the father had a gambling addiction : she first went to a casino when she turned 18 years-old, in order to repay her family’s debt and have money to pursue her studies» rumor is that the Order of The Clock Tower tried to recruit her, but she refused, not wanting to deal with Abilities-related conflicts, about which she doesn’t really care » has very little combat training, but always keeps some cards in her coat just in case something happens » often travels to find new gambling places and visit » during her math studies, she was considered as a brilliant student but not very fond of actually working. She ended up dropping out of school, but still uses her mathematical knowledge applied to probabilities. » money doesn’t mean anything special to her, but she appreciates the comfort she gets out of it. The reason why she plays cards is to defeat new opponents and find new ways to cheat using her ability

(the art isn’t mine, I used a Picrew !)

[laboratorium2d]

Children's Animated Series, As Graded by a Parent Who Has Watched Far Too Many of Them

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: The brony thing is legitimately weird, but this is legitimately a great show. The combination of epic-fantasy plots with a deep dive on friendship is a winner (and has also been deeply influential on kids' television). It also makes the obligatory pro-social messages feel earned, rather than an afterthought. The characters are charming, the writing sparkles, and the animation is still distinctive. Endlessly watchable, which is a good thing when your kid wants to watch endlessly. Fake holidays: Nightmare Night, Hearth's Warming Eve, Hearts and Hooves Day. Grade: A+

Avatar: I was fifteen years too old for this when it was on TV, so I didn't understand what the fuss was about. Now I do. It's epic but not grandiose, funny but not dumb, and morally deep without giving into plot gravity. The world-building, the writing, the animation, the voice-acting, the fight scenes, the side characters: everything works, and everything is pulling in the same direction. (The sequel series, The Legend of Korra, is more of the same, with an interestingly updated setting and better music.) If your kids are like mine, they'll want to talk about everything, and so will you. I guess binge-watching is a family thing now. Grade: A+

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: This show is so gay. However gay you expect it to be, it's ten times gayer. It's also pro-diversity along every axis you can imagine, including body-type. It's completely awesome. It captures the uncannily compelling techno-fantasy atmosphere of the original, and it has characters with the same names, but otherwise it's a total gut rehab. The character studies at its core are compelling, even as the overall plot and action hold a young child's interest. It takes lots of anime animation tropes and tones them down to the verge of naturalism, which I wouldn't have thought would work, but totally does. Grade: A-

Wild Kratts: The big kid was learning biology from this show almost from before she could talk. "Giraffe. Long neck. Eat leaves." The premise of the show is genius: animated versions of veteran kids' wildlife-show hosts Chris and Martin Kratt have suits that give them "creature powers," and they travel around the world having adventures with animals. The science is legit and it's presented entertainingly. And the characters are winners, especially the creature-suit inventor Aviva Corcovado and the colorful villains. The only thing consistently annoying about this show is that it can be shouty. Everyone is Just! So! Excited! About! Animals! Grade: A-.

Phineas and Ferb: The Arrested Development of kids' animation, Phineas and Ferb is impossibly dense with overlapping plots, brick jokes, and a large army of recurring minor characters. Every episode features an original song, some of which are genuinely brilliant ("Squirrels in My Pants" is a household favorite). It is also a wholly, completely sweet-hearted show. Even the antagonists -- Candace and Dr. Doofenshmirtz -- are sympathetic, charming, fully-realized, and allowed to grow and be happy in ways that a lesser version of this show would never even have realized was a possibility. The allegretto pacing and intricate writing keep the show consistently fresh. New Disney at its best. Grade: A-

Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom: From the same team who brought you Peppa Pig, but even drier underneath its treacly trappings. The comedic timing is straight out of classic British sketch comedy. The voice actors are clearly in on the joke, which if anything makes the show more fun to listen to than to watch. B+

Dinosaur Train: Sometimes high concepts work. The show 100% owns its message: dinosaur physiology is a diversity metaphor, presented with just the right degree of insistence. The characters are sketched with grace and sympathy, and the science is pitched just right for its target audience. Over the years, the show (like all railfans) has gotten increasingly obsessed with its train equipment: the aquacar, the submarine, the ... zeppelin. The songs are surprisingly catchy, too: our favorite is probably the Dinosaur Train Zeppelin song, which, yes, is a Led Zeppelin pastiche. Grade: B+

Odd Squad: This one really grew on me. If all you've seen is short clips, it just seems like everyone is shouting about math all the time. But the show overall is delightfully goofy, with a real sense of how to string along a running gag, and some genuinely talented child actors. Grade: B+

Creative Galaxy: Despite being a total Daniel Tiger rip-off, down to the animation style, the obligatory song in every episode, and the live-action codas, this one is actually kind of nice. The art projects are well-chosen both to interest kids and also to actually be doable. Fake holidays: Heart Day. Grade: B

Peppa Pig: It took me a long time to appreciate this show's arch sense of humor. Everyone's pretensions and ambitions are punctured; embarrassing mistakes and small indignities await adults at every turn. Once you realize that the show is making fun of most of its characters but loves them anyway, it's much more bearable. Grade: B

Curious George: Entirely forgettable, with two mildly redeeming qualities. George himself is as charming as always, and the jazzy musical score is pleasant. Grade: B-

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir: It took me a while to understand what this show was doing. It's very, very French. Grade: C+

Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: Even my kids recognize that Daniel Tiger is needy and whiny. The show inadvertently teaches kids what to be afraid of and how to misbehave. There is also something deeply wrong with the economy of the Neighborhood: everyone seems to have multiple jobs and the public transit system runs on magic. On the plus side, the potty song has come in handy as a reminder: when you have to go potty, stop and go right away. Fake holidays: Love Day, Snowflake Day, Dress Up Day. Grade: C+

Ready Jet Go: I suppose there's some science in here somewhere, I guess. Grade: C+

Tumble Leaf: Reviewers might call this one "gentle," by which they mean "boring." The animation is lovely and the music is calming. But what's the point? Grade: C+

PAW Patrol: Unbelievably, incredibly formulaic. For example: have you noticed that they get in their trucks at exactly the same point halfway through each episode? Just Canadian enough to be noticeably off, but also rah-rah in a George W. Bush-administration kind of way. Sometimes I imagine grown-up versions of the pups. Chase regularly engages in police brutality, Rubble has a drinking problem, and Marshall has joined the alt-right. Grade: C

Nature Cat: Nature Cat is annoying and his friends are worse. I'm not clear on what they're supposed to be learning. And the theme song manages to be both unmemorable and an earworm. Make it stop! Grade: C

Super Why: More like Super Why Does This Exist, amirite? The whole show is oddly paced: I find the story-within-a-story structure confusing and can only wonder how much of it kids actually get. Having each character deal with a different aspect of literacy leaves the show's educational content unfocused. And the Super Letters are like the world's lamest game of Wheel of Fortune. Plus the song is an earworm, and not in a good way. Grade: C

Sofia the First: Empty Disney calories, this show is the reductio ad absurdum of Disney's democratization of the idea of "princess." The plotting, the writing, and the music are technically proficient. The cel-shading effects that give 3D animation the luminosity of 2D hand drawn are lovely. The messages are perfectly innocuous. But the heart of the show is a giant gaping void. Fake holidays: Wassailia. Grade: C

Lion Guard: More empty Disney calories, like Sofia the First but with more obnoxious characters. Inexplicably real holiday: Christmas. Grade: C-

Peg + Cat: All I can remember is that the show is inexplicably drawn on graph paper, and they have a BIG BIG PROBLEM every few seconds. When people complain about STEM, and I remember that this show exists, I have to admit that they have a point. Grade: C-

Martha Speaks: The AV Club's term for this kind of show is "least essential." Even by the standards of kids' shows, the premise makes no sense. Nobody here, human or canine, is remotely sympathetic. And the plot comes to a screeching halt every time it's time for a new vocabulary word. Grade: C-

WordWorld: I have so many questions about this show. If everything is made out of words, what about the ground? The sky? Windows? And what are the letters in the words made of? What is going on with the accents? And who greenlit three seasons of this garbage? Grade: D+

The Adventures of Puss in Boots: This is a weird, weird show. And not in a good way. Grade: D+

Trolls: The Beat Goes On: Quite possibly the most misanthropic kids show currently streaming anywhere. The combination of grimdark setting and hackneyed uplifting plot tropes is somewhere between unsettling and child abuse. Poppy is a walking illustration of emotional labor; Branch has severe PTSD. The show treats both of these as laughable quirks. And I am never going to get used to the Auto-Tune. Grade: D+

Kung-Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny: Pretty much your standard DreamWorks animation. This is not a good thing. Grade: D

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie: The animation and voice-acting are innocuous. But building an entire show around the "if X, then Y" formula led to some disastrous choices. The show taught my big kid how to say things like, "If I see a rock, I just have to bring it home with me." It takes a special kind of kids show to affirmatively instill bad habits. Grade: D-

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2018): An absolute travesty in every possible way. The remake is the direct opposite of everything the original represented: crude instead of clever, manic instead of playful, and mean instead of goofy. Grade: F-