#button phobia

[button-phobia-is-real]

having my specific phobia makes some fashion and "hot" pics of people really funny because ill see loads of comments like "not to be a lesbian but oh my gooood" meanwhile im scrunching my nose feeling just a smidge ill and going "get those away from me right now or so help me god"

[ninjasmudge]

silly cotl corporate au where lamb was supposed to be building narinders company back up from the ground, and instead of handing it over to him at the end, they engineer a loophole so now theyre the CEO while hes been demoted to their personal assistant.

except that he's REALLY good at it, even though he keeps trying to do things to fuck up their position and make them look incompetent. he tells them the wrong room for a meeting and they miss an assassination attempt by not showing up. he doesnt bother to send off a confirmation email to a partner company and it turns out the deal they were about to sign wouldve lost them half their stock. lamb thinks hes doing it on purpose because he secretly approves of them, narinder himself is livid

[svenskjavel]

kan inte fatta att det gått 14 år sedan gott nytt jul av sean banan släpptes

Seriöst? Herregud vad tiden gått

[pick-an-item-poll]

thank you for running this blog! i love having opinions and window shopping <3

Aww I'm glad you like it! It's always a pleasure to see your name pop up in the notifs ^-^

[stupidsexygrizzop]

mag 184 my absolute beloathed <3

[icajax]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers 💛💙

okayyyy that sounds nice :3

sitting at the cafe where they know me

finding clothes in yellow or cowprint

checking out strangers with my partner

losing at yugioh

knowing exactly why my computer is on the fritz, and knowing what to do about it

[medicus-mortem]

Tumblr: Here have these unwanted game ads with spiders or spider like things on it.

Me, an arachniphobe: This is malicious.

[button-phobia-is-real]

The fuck is a button phobia

you know these guys?

they fill my body with pure disgust. Dread, even; just hovering the mouse over pictures as i searched for a suitable example made me feel ill. i have no idea why, but to me touching a sewing button is like touching fresh vomit (and even then id still probably take the vomit)

is it based in any sort of rationality? no, absolutely not

yet here i am, tormented

[aromantisk-hagesunniva]

hur många språk talar du egentligen?

jag talar tre språk (engelska svenska och norska) men jag kan delvis tala många fler språk (t.ex tyska, spanska, ryska, ungerska, finska, nordsamiska)

[lunatempest]

I used to be scared of those old sound-activated shaking ghost decorations when I was real little. They actually gave me nightmares.

what is the lamest thing that ever genuinely scared you like either as a kid or adult. i got scared of those halloween cartoon scooby doo ass eye stickers ppl put on mirrors when i was 9 and screamed so hard i fainted

[violetendgrove]

"oh this modpack looks so nice-" the Terrible Terralith: the Complicated Create*: the Atrocious Alexmobs**:

[hoots-the-owl]

To answer your "what happened to batman?" question: he got arrested for tax evasion at the end of the last season. He didn't know what they were.

Oh my gooodddd 😭 ya know that’s kinda in character for him in this show

[housecow]

seeing you outright mention you have death feedism tendencies is like a shotgun to the chest (positive)

i have a medical phobia that’s somehow twisted itself into death feedism ngl. also, evil feeders. 😳

someone hellbent on keeping me as fat as possible for as long as they can—knowing what cocktail of drugs keeps my heart pumping, dumbing me down and keeping me pliant with edibles hidden in my food, waking me up every few hours for feedings and funnel sessions instead of letting me sleep so the weight piles on faster than it should..

somewhere deep down i know it’s not good for me. maybe my feeder tells me about all the health problems i have while the feeding tube is in my mouth and i can barely think, but i can’t focus on what they’re saying without getting overwhelmed. if i don’t remember later, it doesn’t really matter, right?

maybe occasionally i’d “come to my senses,” during a lull in the feedings. when my feeder is busy and away for a while, after i’ve made my way through a small mountain of snacks and the mini fridge (full of shakes laced with THC to keep me docile) is just out of reach. maybe i’d try to get up, only to collapse back down because my knee problems finally caught up to me and fuck, it hurts to even try to walk. maybe then i’d finally take a look at where i am, how i’ve given up my life for someone’s (and my own, let’s be real) sick pleasure.

i’d have to deal with that realization for a while. maybe i’d start to cry, unable to handle the reality. eventually, though, my feeder would come back. they’d find me in this state and console me, getting the funnel ready because they can hear my stomach rumbling and it’s been too long since i’ve eaten. they’ll coo into my ear about how it’s all okay, how i asked for this and it’s what we both want.

they’d give my belly a shake, grasping the lowest roll in their hands and enjoying the way it makes my entire body wobble. they’d press a kiss onto the vast expanse of fat above my belly button, an area they were so excited to see expand under their care. they’d struggle a bit to lift one of my tits, eager to see how my breath hitches at the thought of their mouth on me. these are all distractions. they’ve mastered this game of manipulation and there’s no way i’d be able to find my way out of their control. their touch, the food they offer me, even those moments when i’m not high or in a haze of fullness and pleasure, were meant to further ensnare me and ensure i’m theirs for as long as i live.

my health, my life, is in my feeder’s hands. they know what’s best. as long as i keep eating, keep taking the pills they hand me, keep ignoring how hard it is to move and breathe, it will all be fine. or, that’s what i’d tell myself.

[icajax]

4 and 20 for spotify wrapped :3

oh hehe i get it that's the 🌿 number >:3

my number 4 is Milk Bar by GameChops, off of the Legend of Chillwave album , which is a song that i like but also!! highlights a frustration of mine w/ Wrapped: that album is good but it's background music!!! it doesn't speak to my soul, it doesn't say anything about me because this is music i put on to ignore. then again, i suppose it might say something about me that music i ignore ranks so highly...

my number 20 is the much more Narratively Significant Zoom, by Last Dinosaurs. The crunchy click to start, the wavey synth pulling us in like a good guitar riff, and the whimsy of listening to a band called that will be pulling me back for the next million years, even as i grow older

send me a number between 1-100

[candycatstuffs]

First donation request! @button-phobia-is-real for emo/scene amy and sonic <3

Rules

[dameronspector]

Philophobia (Part 3)

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader

Chapter Summary: After that…interesting first meeting with Joaquin, You finally join Sam and the three of you make your way to his apartment to get settled. Little did you know, that all of you were going to get the shock of your lives. Oh, and you also reunite with Bucky after 6 months. (10 years.)

Warnings: Mentions of Death and Depression, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Abuse by a parent (not tony), Insomnia, Cursing, Fluff, Grumpy x Sunshine except Joaquin is the sunshine, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Joaquin is Down Bad, Pining, Reader has some phobias, Found family, Reunion with Bucky, John Walker slander, Steve Rogers slander (please don’t read this if this isn’t what you’re looking for). Also, I don’t know shit about technology so please excuse that. 😁

AN: So, a lil change of plans. This series will now follow TFATWS and our family will now be on their way to fight w the flag smashers and also they finally reunite with bucky! I’m so sorry for being a dumbass and not thinking of this before 😭 i was just very overwhelmed since this is my first ever series :( anyways, now we will follow the show! Yay!

After that intense first meeting with Joaquin, the three of you made your way to Sam’s apartment.

You were hesitant about going to Sam’s place because it’s the first time since….everything that you were going to an avenger’s house. If everything was normal, you’d be spending half of your time over at Natasha’s or Bruce’s house but nothing is the same anymore.

Sam, being the empathetic and respectful man he is, sensed your reluctance and gave you some space to be.

Joaquin, on the other hand…

That boy did not have an off button. He really didn’t. He could talk about anything and everything and you hated to admit that you lo-liked his low pitched, smooth voice.

“Um, I just wanted to say that, i really love how you’re so passionate about the charities, you know? You remember that fundraising gala you held in Miami? I attended that. I mean, i crashed it more like. My mom did not like that-”, he chuckled before continuing, “but it was so good. I appreciate you making space for our community and supporting the children. Everybody was so happy. My mom couldn’t stop praising you. Said you were such a natural. You really don’t have to, but you use your privilege for the best causes and i just wanted to say that i really admire that and-”

“Joaquin”, Sam cut him off firmly from the driver’s seat. He turned his head to look at Joaquin for a moment and shook his head slightly to stop him from talking any more. Joaquin shut his mouth immediately and set his lips in a thin line. His eyes wide.

In the back seat, you were staring at the back Joaquin’s head. He sure does talk a lot but….you didn’t know you made such an impact on him?

And…he attended your gala?

“Sorry, (Name). He’s just…happy to be around someone who’s his age. Just-”

“It’s okay, Sam”, you interrupted Sam gently before focusing on Joaquin.

“You…attended the gala?”, you asked him inquisitively.

Joaquin looked at Sam who gave him the go to speak before turning around to look at you.

He still couldn’t believe you were sitting right there. He swore that his heart stopped everytime he looked at you.

“Yeah…you-you were with the kids helping them paint the mural, remember? One of them was my neighbour’s kid. He was so happy. Told me you gave them new art kits? That’s really generous of you. Thank you”, Joaquin replied sincerely, his eyes twinkling.

You felt your throat close up and you swallowed thickly to stop the tears from flowing down your face.

You simply shook your head. “Don’t thank me. It’s the bare minimum.”

You saw his eyes comically widen. Like you personally offended him.

“Bare minimum? Dude, you opened a fucking school for the neighbourhood and an orphanage. And you are sponsoring some of the kids’ education. Not even the government is doing all that”, he exclaimed.

Now it was your turn to widen your eyes. You were speechless. You didn’t know how to handle praise so you did the only thing you can do best- deflect the compliment and give a sarcastic reply instead.

You cleared your throat. “Is he always like this? Why is he gassing me up?”, you asked Sam.

Sam let out a loud laugh and Joaquin scrunched his face in confusion.

“What-” Joaquin sputtered out.

“This is their way of saying thank you, Joaquin”, Sam reassured him while chuckling.

You saw the way Joaquin’s face relaxed in understanding.

“Oh!”, Joaquin let out a delighted chuckle. “Well, it’s my pleasure”, he continued and smiled at you cheekily before turning back around.

Was he flirting?

When you noticed that the two of them weren’t looking, you turned your head towards the window and bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling.

-

You finally reached Sam’s apartment and he gave you a brief tour.

“So, this is my humble abode. There’s three rooms, the one at the end of the hall is the office. You can unpack your stuff there. Joaquin won’t be staying back today, so you can take the guest bedroom. Well, consider that room to be yours anyways ‘cus he’s crashing on the couch always”, Sam finished.

Joaquin gasped dramatically and put a hand on his chest. “You’re already replacing me?!”

Sam just smirked. “And? What about it?”

Joaquin’s mouth hung open.

You let out a soft chuckle and the two of them snapped their heads towards you. Joaquin spoke up first.

“Did you just laugh at our jokes?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You did!”

“Nope.”

“Oh, you totally did, kid.”

“I’m going to unpack”, you responded, unbothered.

Sam just let out a chuckle and clapped Joaquin on the shoulder. “They’re just like their dad, I swear.”

Joaquin grinned and looked your figure go down the hall longingly.

Sam noticed this.

“Okay, lover boy. You needa get out. Go get some work done, and stop ogling my new recruit.”

“Can I stay-”

“No.”

“Please, Sam. I swear I will work-”

“Hell nah, man. I saw how much you work when they’re around. Nope. Go back to the base”, Sam told Joaquin firmly.

Joaquin let out a dramatic sigh.

“Okay. But, promise me-”

Joaquin stopped what he was saying because you had come back to the living room. Sam rolled his eyes. This boy was whipped.

“Okay, kid. Say ‘bye’ to Torres because he will be going back to the base to work, isn’t that right?”, Sam announced and patted Joaquin’s shoulder.

You shrugged. “Okay. Bye, Joaquin.”

Joaquin stared at you dumbfounded because why did you make his name sound so good?

Sam patted his back loudly and he snapped out of his daze.

“Yeah, yeah. Bye, (Name). I’ll…I’ll see you around”, he murmured.

You nodded your head and averted your gaze to stop your face from warming up.

Sam took Joaquin by the shoulders and pushed him towards the door. Before leaving, Joaquin made one quick request.

“Promise me that you’ll call me if you need anything.”

Sam quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be coming to help me and not someone else. Goodbye, Torres. I need that intel report by tonight”, Sam said authoritatively and pushed Joaquin out of the door.

Joaquin just chuckled and jogged away before throwing a ‘bye!’ over his shoulder.

Sam shook his head. He couldn’t believe this teenager in an adult’s body was going to be his protégé.

-

The day went by, you settled in and unpacked your stuff before diving into work. You were tinkering with his suit and adding some modifications. Sam was sorting out some documents and had a brief call with Joaquin. He had found out some information on a group of people called The Flagsmashers. Something about them wanting a unified world and how they were the ones that Sam had to worry about. You couldn’t help but overhear. Staying observant and vigilant came to naturaly to you.

Sometime later, Sam’s phone rang again and he rushed out of his room to turn on the TV.

You were minding your own business when you suddenly heard the words ‘Join me in welcoming your new Captain America!’

You whipped your head up and joined Sam in the living room. There, on the screen, was a blue eyed-blonde haired- man who looked like a wish.com version of Steve. He stood there grinning, with a blue and red suit. With the fucking shield in his hand.

“What the hell?”, you murmured in disbelief. You looked over to Sam and saw him close his eyes in regret.

“Sam, what’s this? Did you know this?”, you asked him slowly.

He inhaled sharply. “Ofcourse not. Shit…” Sam trailed off and pinched the bridge of his nose.

You knew that something like this would happen the moment you saw that shield in that glass box. Because how can the government resist from finding a symbol- a mascot- that would represent their useless and selfish white ego? It’s almost like they were waiting for Sam to hand over the shield. As soon as you thought of that, your face srunched up in disgust.

“Sam, we gotta stop this shit. Who the fuck is this guy? Who came up with this?”, you said furiously.

Sam shook his head.

“I got no clue, kid. I didn’t know…fuck.”

Your face shifted in understanding. He was feeling guilty. Not for giving up the shield, but for giving it into the government’s hands.

You sat down next to him.

“It’s not your fault, Sam. They were going to do this, anyway. Either by controlling you if you took up the shield or by finding a replacement if you didn’t. This won’t end well, trust me.”

Sam just ducked his head and nodded. He then let out a groan.

“Bucky will not like this. Not like he’s picking up my calls or answering my texts. But I know he’s gonna have a crazy breakdown.”

You blinked in surprise. Bucky. You had completely forgotten about him. The last you saw him was at your father’s funeral. But you were in a very…sensitive condition so nobody dared to approach you that day. You haven’t heard of him or from him since that day. Not that you two ever had the chance to just talk.

You were about to speak when you heard the new cap- John Walker- speak on the TV.

‘Yeah, that and flags tend to start majestically waving in the wind. And how's the tour been? I know they did a big rollout for you, right? It's the greatest honor of my life. Um, but I'm just a little shocked, I think. How did a guy like me end up here?’

‘Oh, wait, wait, wait’, the interviewer stops him.

"A guy like me"? ‘Somebody's being a bit too humble. For those of you who aren't familiar with his résumé, "John Walker, first person in American history to receive three Medals of Honor", "ran RS-One missions in counterterrorism and hostage rescue". The government did a study of your body at MIT, and you tested off the charts in every measurable category. Speed, endurance, intelligence... ’

‘Look, here's the thing, uh, I'm not Tony Stark, I'm not Dr. Banner, okay? I don't have the flashiest gadgets, I don't have super strength. But what I do have is guts. Something Captain America always had, always needs to have, and I'm gonna need every ounce of it. Because I got big shoes to fill.’ Walker interrupted her.

You grimaced. Oh, you hate this guy. What an actor. “He’s so full of it. He could never be Steve or you.”

Sam chuckled humourlessly and furrowed his eyebrows at the screen.

Little did the two of you know, Walker was going to be a huge problem.

-

Later in the day, Sam and you left for the tarmac to go to Munich and follow the flagsmashers.

You met up with Joaquin on the tarmac.

And you froze.

Because wow he looked real good in that army green muscle tee with his uniform cargo pants.

Your face felt warm. Your throat felt dry and your legs felt like lead.

What the fuck was wrong with you? You had to stop acting like this. You’re not sure if you can handle the pain all over again. And you don’t think Joaquin would be interested–Hell, Joaquin didn’t deserve all the baggage that you came with.

So you shook your body a little, clenched your fists and tightened your jaw before Sam or Joaquin noticed your weird behaviour. You chose to stand behind Sam and let them talk to each other first.

Sam greeted Joaquin.

“Seems like a good guy”, Joaquin said, referring to Walker.

You scoffed softly. Joaquin looked at you and smiled.

“You met him?”, Sam asked with a raised brow.

“No”, Joaquin said with pursed lips.

Sam nodded.

“Thanks for doing this on such short notice”, Sam thanked Joaquin. He had immediately agreed to joining him on the mission.

“Yeah, No sweat. I'm just finishing up the checklist, you'll be all good to go once you land in Munich”, Joaquin addressed the both of you.Sam nodded and made his way down to the tarmac. Joaquin lingered around and finally looked at you.

“Hey”,Joaquin greeted you shyly.

You glanced at him and gave him a barely there smile.

“Hey, Torres.”

Before he could say something, the two of you heard a voice call out.

“Shouldn’t have given up the shield!”

You paused. That voice-

“Bucky?”, you whispered.

Joaquin looked at you move towards the railing.

You held the railing with both of your hands and leaned over it.

It took you a second to recognise him because-

“He cut his hair?”, you chuckled lowly.

He looked…good. The short hair suited him a lot. He looked healthier. Rhodey had told you that Bucky had finally gotten his pardon and he had to go to therapy as a condition of his pardon. You hoped those sessions were helping him in some way.

But then Sam told you that Bucky was avoiding him on purpose, so Sam was worried that he was isolating himself again.

Joaquin broke your train of thought and joined you by the railing.

“How long has it been since you met him?”, he asked out of curiosity.

You scoffed. “Way too long.”

Because yeah, technically, Bucky and you didn’t meet properly for the last 10 years.

You turned your attention back to the ex-avengers.

“Good to see you too, Buck”, Sam sighed.

“This is wrong”, Bucky responded.

Sam turned around and held out his hands.

“Hey, hey. Look, I’m working. Alright? So all this outrage is gonna have to wait”, he told Bucky firmly.

Sam was already anticipating this reaction from Bucky.

“You didn't know that was gonna happen?”, Bucky accused.

Sam furrowed his brows, tired of being asked the same thing.

“No, of course I didn't know that was gonna happen. You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?”, he accused Bucky right back.

Bucky scoffed humourlessly and turned his head to the side. “This isn’t what Steve wanted.”

You raised your eyebrows and scoffed loudly. You were honestly tired of people mentioning Steve Rogers like his word was the only thing that mattered.

You must’ve been loud enough because both of them snapped their heads up to look at you.

You saw the way Bucky paused. A look of shock was plastered on his face. His mouth fell open.

“(Name)?”, he whispered.

You waved at him.

“Hey, Buc-Barnes.” You almost called him Bucky. You didn’t even know if he would be okay with you calling him that.

He kept looking at you in surprise before Sam brought his attention back to the conversation.

“Oh, my God. So, what do you want me to do? Call America and tell 'em I changed my mind? Huh?”, Sam asked incredulously.

“Yeah, right”, Bucky chuckled sarcastically.

“It’s a great reunion, buddy. Be well”, Sam patted Bucky’s shoulder and started to move.

“You had no right to give up the shield, Sam”, Bucky poked him further.

‘Bucky needs to shut up right now’, you thought.

Sam stopped and turned around to point at Bucky. He was annoyed.

“Hey. This is what you're not gonna do. You're not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights. It's over, Bucky. Besides, I have bigger things to deal with now.”

“What could be bigger than this?”, Bucky narrowed his eyes.

“This guy”, Sam showed the photo of the flagsmasher member.

While Sam was narrating the situation to Bucky, you and Joaquin made your way down to set up everything on the jet.

As you neared the two of them, their voices grew louder.

“-So that's where I'm going.”

“Well, I don't trust Redwing”, Bucky said nonchalantly.

You groaned.

Joaquin turned to you. “What?”

“Bucky insulted redwing. They’re gonna argue over this for hours, now.”

And argue they did.

“Hold on a minute. You don't have to trust Redwing, but I'mma go see if he's right. 'Cause I have a feeling they might be a part of the Big Three.”

You, Joaquin and Bucky had identical confused looks on your face.

“What "Big Three"?”, Bucky asked with his eyebrows furrowed.

“The Big Three.”

“What Big Three?”

“Androids, aliens, and wizards.”

You raised your eyebrows.

“That’s not a thing”, you and Bucky responded at the same time.

Joaquin chuckled. For someone who’s never met the other person, you and Bucky were surely alike.

You scrunched your nose and tilted your head like a puppy. Joaquin looked at you. ‘So cute.’ He thought.

“That's definitely a thing”, Sam said surely.

“No, it's not”, Bucky squinted his eyes in disbelief.

You heaved out a deep sigh.

“Come on. This is never ending. Let them bicker for a while. Their reunion is incomplete without it.”

Joaquin laughed and followed you to the jet, leaving behind those two man babies fighting like a married couple on the tarmac.

-

You were rechecking the tech to see if it was working properly and Joaquin was preparing the jet for the flight.

You were so deep into tinkering that you didn’t notice Joaquin standing right next to you and observing your work intently.

You stood up and flinched. Not expecting him to stand so close.

“Oh my god! Dude, the least you could do is warn me. I had zoned out”, you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Sorry! I’m sorry, you were so focused I didn’t wanna disturb you”, Joaquin said sheepishly and stepped back.

You sighed. “It’s okay. I’m almost done.”

Joaquin hummed.

He watched, transfixed, as you thread your fingers through your soft hair.

You could feel his stare on you. Your cheeks were shaded in a tinge of pink, again.

“Uh- if you don’t mind, can I ask you something?”, he asked hesitantly with his arms across his chest.

You quirked an eyebrow at him. He took that as a sign to continue.

“I saw the way you reacted when Bucky mentioned Steve. You two didn’t get along, or somethin’?”

You paused and turned your attention back towards the laptop.

“That’s none of your business”, you told Joaquin firmly.

You saw the way he deflated and the way his eyes widened. You closed your eyes in shame. You shouldn’t have snapped at him. You felt bad, but he shouldn’t have asked about your deepest wounds on your first day of working together.

“Oh. I’m so sorry, (Name). I didn’t mean to-” his soft voice was cut off by the sounds of Sam and Bucky’s loud banter.

“Are we ready, kids?”, Sam asked the two of you.

Joaquin cleared his throat to get rid of his embarrassment.

“Y-yeah. We’re ready to fly”, he murmured and walked over to the cockpit.

You still hadn’t looked up from the screen.

Sam looked at the two of you sceptically. He could feel the tension.

“Okay…Let’s suit up, Bucky”, Sam announced before leaving to unpack his gear.

You were adding some extra features onto Sam’s vambrace when you noticed a shadow in the corner of your eyes.

“(Name)?”

You turned to look at Bucky.

You gave him a weak smile.

“Hey..how are you?

He smiled at you awkwardly. “Uh- it’s been alright, yeah. How..are you? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

You chuckled lowly. “Yeah, I wonder why…” you trailed off.

He saw the way his smile faded before he clenched his jaw. “Listen- um. Id like to..talk to you. If you allow me to, that is”, he asked nervously. He was clenching his fists which made his leather gloves crackle.

You looked up at him in surprise. He wanted to talk to you?

“Yeah, sure. We can talk, after the mission”, you nodded.

He let out a sigh of relief and unclenched his jaw before nodding at you. He left to get ready for the mission.

You let out a big sigh. This was a long day.

-

A while later you were finally in Munich.

Everything was set, Sam and Bucky were geared up. All they had to was de-board the jet.

“One minute to drop off, Sam”, Joaquin announced while making his way over to the opened door of the jet. You watched him pass you and observed Sam and Bucky’s banter.

“So what's our plan?”, Bucky asked Sam.

Sam didn’t respond.

“Great. So no plan”, Bucky exasperated.

“Thirty seconds!”, Joaquin yelled out.

“Enjoy your ride, Buck”, Sam told Bucky.

“No, you can't call me that!”

“Why not? That's what Steve called you.”

“Steve knew me longer, and Steve had a plan”, Bucky sassed.

“Fifteen seconds to drop!”

“I have a plan”, Sam replied smugly.

“Really? What is it?”

Before Bucky could get an answer, Sam jumped out with his wings unfurled.

Bucky raised his arms in disbelief.

“Great. Where's the chute?”, he asked Joaquin.

“We're at feet. It's too low for a chute”, Joaquin told him as-a-matter-of-factly.

You narrowed your eyes at Joaquin.

“How the hell is he gonna go down, then?”

Bucky clenched his jaw. “I don’t need it anyway.”

You scrunched your brows. “What do you mean?”

“You sure about that?”, Joaquin asked curiously.

Bucky smirked. “Yeah.”

“Bro, what-” before you could ask what was he thinking, he jumped while yelling.

Like, free falling. In the middle of an area covered by trees.

“What the fuck!”, you widened your eyes and yelled out.

“He’ll be fine”, Joaquin reassured you. You had to check for yourself.

You tapped your comms.

“Are you okay?!”, you asked worried.

Instead of Bucky, you heard Sam.

“I have all of that on camera. You know that, right?”

“Get out of my face, Sam, or I'll break it”, Bucky replied.

You let out a breath. “Yeah, he’s okay.”

“Told you”, Joaquin shrugged.

You just narrowed your eyes at him.

“Get back to work”, you groaned.

You got back to your makeshift work station and tracked Sam and Bucky.

“Guys, I’ve activated the trackers. Please don’t break the comms and please stay in touch.”

“You got it, kid”, Sam reassured you.

Now you just have to sit back and keep an eye on them.

-

While you were keeping an eye on the footage, you couldn’t help but think about the way you had snapped at Joaquin and the way he had shrunken down. You did what you had been the best at– pushing away people and taking out their light.

He didn’t know what happened, he just asked out of curiosity. That’s just how he was. He had a pure, genuine and inquisitive personality. Unlike you.

You had to grow up and own your mistakes and stop lashing out at someone who doesn’t know about your personal grudges.

Your therapist would be pleasantly impressed at this.

So, you made your way to the cockpit and cleared your throat.

He turned around so quick you thought he would have sprained his neck.

“Hi”, you said awkwardly.

Joaquin, too shocked to see you talking to him, sputtered out a shaky “Hey.”

You wring your hands together out of nervousness and clasp them tightly. You swallowed harshly.

“Um. Joaquin….I’m sorry.”

Joaquin had a surprised look on his face. He was not expecting you to apologise.

“Wait. No, I’m the one who should be apologising. I’m so-”

“No. Joaquin, listen to me, please”, you stopped him.

He shut up immediately and gave you his full attention.

“Thank you. Look, you didn’t know any better. We just met and….you were just curious. I felt like, you crossed a line and that’s why I snapped. I’m sorry. That was an overreaction”, you told him sincerely.

He gaped at you and held out his hands.

“Hey, please don’t apologise. I know I can come off too strong. I should’ve respected your boundaries. Sam had warned me to not say anything stupid to you. I just….i get too excited to talk to you and..yeah. I’m sorry for crossing a line. I’ll be mindful next time”, he admitted sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

You finally broke out in a smile.

Okay, he was cute. (Too cute)

“Yeah…you do get very excited easily”, you teased.

You saw the way his cheeks turned bright pink and he chuckled nervously.

“So….are we okay now?”

“Yeah, flyboy. We’re okay”, you smirked.

He flashed you his radiant smile. Seriously, he was too pretty and he knew exactly how to use that for his benefit. You were skirting dangerous territory so you immediately snapped out of it and straightened up.

You cleared your throat and switched back to professional mode. “Okay, I’m gonna go check on those two. Let me know if you need anything, alright?”

He threw up a thumbs up. “Yeah, okay, (Name).”

As you turned around to go back to your seat, you could feel his stare linger on your back.

-

It all went south very quickly after that. Bucky had jumped into one of the vans that were carrying the ‘hostage’ and that hostage turned out to be the leader of the flagsmashers- Karli Morgenthau.

Soon they were ambushed by 8 more people and they were all super soldiers. If that wasn’t enough, Karli had smashed redwing. Seriously, fuck you Karli. How many times are you gonna have to rebuild him? Now you were left with no footage and had to guess the situation based on their location and the audio from the comms.

Safe to say, Bucky and Sam were getting their asses handed to them. It was so stressful because they were fighting on top of two moving carriers. What were these two thinking? Just as you were going to tell them to pull back, two more people entered the scene.

“Fucking Walker? What the hell is he doing here?”, you growled.

“To bask in the glory!”, Sam shouted, out of breath.

So you sat there. With your head in your hands, helpless.

30 minutes later, Sam commed back.

“We’re coming back to the jet, (Name). Tell Joaquin to prepare for take off.”

“Copy. Are you two okay?”

“Well, other than our wounded ego and a few bruises, yes we are okay. Are you okay?”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Yeah, we’re alright, Sam. Just don’t get into any more trouble now. And please bring back redwing’s remnants.”

-

They finally boarded the jet 10 minutes later and just sat down in front of each other. You could sense another disagreement incoming so you took away redwing to start working on him immediately.

“Fuck, what a clean break. I’m gonna have to make the entire display and main controls again”, you groaned.

“You want any help?”, Joaquin approached you.

“Uhh, nope. If I feel sleepy, I’ll tap you in”, you told him distractedly.

He knew you weren’t gonna call him back because Sam had told him about your insomnia. He had decided he’ll come back in an hour and wrestle you to go to sleep if he had to. He just leaned against the wall of the jet and smiled at you.

“Okay, (nickname).”

You stopped what you were doing and snapped your head up.

“What did you-”

He was already gone. That cheeky little shit.

You just shook your head and focused on redwing. You heard footsteps approach and took a deep breath in, ready to ask Joaquin what did he call you.

“You-” you paused.

“Barnes?”

It was Bucky. He held out his hand to stop you.

“Hey, please call me Bucky. I don’t mind”, he requested you in his soft voice.

Your mouth gaped. Bucky allowed you to call him by his name?

“Oh. Okay. Thanks, Bucky”, you smiled at him gratefully.

He smiled back before swallowing thickly. You observed his nervousness.

“D’you wanna sit down?”, you offered gently.

He cleared his throat and nodded yes.

The two of you sat side by side on the nearest seats. You weren’t sure if he’d like the proximity so you chose to sit down a seat away from him, leaving a safe distance between the two of you.

He was restless. Kept fiddling with his hands. You noticed that he hadn’t removed his gloves around you which means he still felt like he had to be cautious around you.

“Uh...How are you?”, he asked tentatively.

“I’m good, Bucky. How are you?”, you smiled softly at him to encourage him to speak.

He nodded. “I’m…alright.”

You decided to lighten up the situation.

“Nice haircut, by the way. You look like a hunk”, you smirked.

That brought out a weak chuckle from him.

“Yeah? Thought so. A grandma told me I look handsome the day I got it.”

You grinned. “A grandma? I’m sure she’s still younger than you, Bucky.”

He laughed. Actually laughed. Eyes crinkling and nose scrunched up. You felt proud. You made The Bionic Staring Machine* laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Both of you calmed down from your laughter and sat in silence. You leaned your head back to the wall. He was the one who broke the silence.

“Listen, (name). I’m sorry we never got a chance to talk like this, before. I know it’s way too late for all this. I….”, he took a moment to let out a shaky breath.

“I never got a chance to…apologise. To your dad. For whatever happened. I will never forgive myself for that, kid. There’s not a day where I don’t think about it. I know something like that can’t be fixed with a simple ‘sorry’. But, I have to do this. For my sanity. And because I really didn’t do it willingly. I’m sorry, (name). Please forgive me if you can”, he finished shakily.

By the time he finished his speech, tears were streaming down your face. You knew he would feel immense guilt over it. You never wanted to hurt him. You never wanted his apology. It was never his fault. It was all because of a stupid lie that Steve Rogers had made up.

You turned your teary eyes to look at him.

He had leaned his head back, with his eyes closed and tears streaming down his cheeks. He was trying to hard to keep them in that his body was shaking. He was clenching his hands which made the leather creak.

You steadied yourself and spoke up.

“Bucky, look at me.”

He finally opened his bloodshot eyes and looked at you. His face was scrunched up in pain.

You gave him a teary smile.

“I don’t know if Steve ever told you this, but dad was never actually angry at you. He was pissed that his closest friend and ally, Steve, had lied to him. And he wasn’t angry that his parents were dead. He was angry that his mom was killed because she’s the only one who would protect him. She’s all that he had”, you began gently.

You saw how he leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees to give you his full attention.

“Contrary to popular belief, my dad was actually the most sensitive person ever and when he came back home after fighting with you and Steve, I saw him crying in his office. He was talking to Rhodey and he told him how he didn’t want all of that to happen. Bucky, dad had forgiven you long ago. His problem was with Steve, not you”, you explained to him delicately.

Bucky dropped his shoulders in between his knees and his shoulders started shaking. You looked at him with empathy and gently put your hand on his back to give him support. He shook his head in agony. His voice cracked when he spoke up.

“But I still hurt you-”

You clicked your tongue to stop him.

“None of that. You didn’t hurt me. First of all, I never met my grandparents so that didn’t affect me. And I especially don’t give a damn about my abusive grandfather who would hurt my dad.”

His head snapped up to look at you in shock.

You scoffed. “Yeah. Howard Stark. Resident Genius and Abuser. Who would’ve thought? Anyways. You didn’t hurt me. I’d always been on your side. I even talked to dad about how I thought you were the innocent one in all of this mess. Yes, I was upset and sad when dad came back home hurt because Steve had decided to abandon him. But never did I ever blame you for that. And I’m sad that you and dad won’t be able to sort out your differences now but it’s okay, Bucky. You never did anything wrong”, you told him in the most genuine way possible to convince him.

He took a few steadying breaths and finally looked up at you.

“Thank you, kid. This means a lot to me”, he admitted shakily, his voice hoarse from all the crying.

You gave him a sad smile. He looked so pitiful and small that it broke your heart.

“Can I….give you a hug?”, you asked hesitantly.

Bucky didn’t respond, he simply leaned towards you and brought you in for a warm hug. You felt him speak against your shoulder.

“I’m sorry for your loss, kid”, he murmured weakly.

You just wrapped your arms around his back tightly and closed your eyes. You felt tears fall down your cheeks. You simply nodded.

After 10 long years, you (your dad) and Bucky got your well deserved closure.

The two of you broke away after a brief moment and wiped your tears. He was the one to speak up first.

“So….how’s it going with the new kid? What’s his name? Joaquin?”

You groaned. “Don’t ask. He’s like a mini version of Sam. Non-stop yapping. And so many questions. I feel like I’m hanging out with a 5 year old.”

Bucky smirked, mischief shining in his ocean blue eyes.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “What?”

Bucky just shrugged. “I don’t know, kid. I see how y’all look at each other. Hell, even Sam noticed it.”

You sputtered and your face twisted in shock.

“What does that mean?! We don’t look at each other in any way! Shut up, Barnes. I swear to god, all the adults in my life gossip like high schoolers”, you groaned and pushed his shoulder.

He just laughed and got up to leave the room.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, kid”, and left the room chuckling.

You let out a groan and hid your face in your hands. You need to control yourself around Joaquin before Pepper or Rhodey or Happy find out.

You went back to fix redwing, hoping to distract your thoughts from wandering off to other things.

Or rather a certain curly headed flyboy.

-

BONUS:

Joaquin came back to check on you exactly an hour later.

And to his delight, he found you slouched over the table with your head resting on your arms. You were sleeping.

He quietly studied your calm and serene face. The way all your grumpiness and the lines of tension on your face were smoothened out. You looked so small and angel-like.

He knew he looked like a creep, staring at you while you were sleeping, but you looked so peaceful that it made his heart soar. He listened to your soft breaths and saw the way your body went up and down with your breathing. It was meditative. His eyes shone with love.

He took off the jacket he was wearing and gently laid it on you. He was trying to hold back from touching your face but your hair fell into your eyes at that exact moment.

He brought up his hand and gently, oh so carefully, pushed your hair back. He let his hand linger by your temple and he caressed your hairline with his thumb. You let out a content sigh and tugged the jacket closer before leaning your face against his hand.

His heart sped up and his breath hitched. He carefully removed his hand and made his way back to the cockpit.

Fuck, Sam was right. He had it bad for you.

“Get a grip. You don’t even know each other like that”, he murmured to himself and clenched his hand into a fist.

Part 4

-

AN: ooo the tension is rising between the lovebirds hehe! as we can see, Joaquin fell first and he fell harder cus that’s just how freely easily he loves. And writing that scene between bucky and reader cured my years worth of pain honestly🙏 Tony and bucky deserved to get their closure.

IMP: I have to change some things from the show to fit the story better. So that’s why Sam wasn’t in Delacroix when they announce Walker is Captain America. Instead, Sarah calls him to tell him to turn on the TV. Assume that Sam has already visited Sarah before recruiting Reader. Sorry for the changes! :( But our girl Sarah will be back soon!

Hope you liked this one! Please like and reblog <3