#c'mon it's a prose work not a script

[strixcattus]

*opens fic* *sees that there are no paragraph breaks* *immediately closes fic*

*opens another fic* *sees that the average paragraph length is <2 sentences* *immediately closes fic*

[lesbianzombiehooker]

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[neil-neil-orange-peel]

I hope it's allright to still send these about the fanfic-ask-game even though you did reblogged it a couple of days ago! :)

Title: How To Deal With The Consequences Of Getting Off With A Lady.

Questions: 4, 5 and 9

Hi! It definitely is - thank you for sending some questions! ❤️ Here's the list if anyone else wants to!

4. What's your favourite line of dialogue?

Hmm. That's always a tricky one. I'm quite fond of dialogue, especially when writing for comedy characters. For this fic, I'm gonna say the last lines of the entire thing are my favourite. Punchlines are good! I love how they wrap everything up nice and succinctly - and FIN! Tis an art form when great comedy writers do it... I'm not implying I'm one of those, or that this particular punchline is especially good in the grand scheme of punchlines, 😂 but I knew long before I'd finished that this was what I was gonna be finishing on:

"Right. So, you know this baby?"

"Yes, the baby?"

"What's she actually called?"

I feel like just calling her Baby Dangerous throughout worked for a story set in the whacky world of the Dangerous Brothers, but I mean. C'mon, Richard. Learn her bloody name. 😂 Do I know what her name is? Now, that's a good question...

5. What part was hardest to write?

Definitely the "Crocodile Babee" section. 😂 I wrote it last and the whole reason it's done as script rather than prose was because tackling it in prose felt like attempting to climb a mountain. It would've been tricky to get the action/emotion balance right without fucking up the tone and making it come across as darker than I wanted it to (even though, if you took it straight, it's pretty dark! But this is the Dangerous Brothers' world 😂). In script form, I could be sillier and leave more to the imagination. After all, Adrian was definitely freaking the fuck out! Readers get to just speculate for themselves the chaos that ensued when film ended (and hopefully giggle at the thought), rather than being subjected to weirdly toned prose that leaves them unsure if this whole thing is even remotely amusing. The made up notes from Channel 4 were especially fun to write too.

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

I don't think so! When I read the prompt that inspired this fic in the Rik and Ade Fest this year, I immediately had the idea for the baby actually being Richard's biological child - and that being a juicy source of conflict between him and Adrian, and the eventual twist. There were a few paragraphs that were cut because they were rendered moot after editing etc., but there was nothing that really strayed too far from the plot that unfolds in the finished fic.

And, speaking of, here's the fic in question:

Thanks again for the ask! Sorry it took me an age to answer. 😂

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

@sicktember Prompt # 16: Hot Water Bottle

Title: Pitter Patter

Fandom: Letterkenny

Daryl is sick and freezing while chorin’. Katy convinces him to come inside and warm up.

(Author's note: For those that missed my first Letterkenny post, I've found the dialogue-heavy style of the show lends itself best to fics written in the style of a script, at least for me. I just can't write these weirdos in prose lol. Here's another one for you @sick-bae. Feedback welcome!)

(Scene opens on Wayne standing in front of the barn, hands at his hips and facing the camera.)

WAYNE: We were chorin' in the rain the other daaaaaay… 

(Scene changes to WAYNE, DAN and DARRYL out in a farm field working on a piece of farm equipment. Rain is pouring down and the three are soaked. WAYNE and DAN are unperturbed. DARRYL looks unhappy and is shivering.)

DARRYL: I don't see why we have to do this right now. Can't it wait until it's not raining?

WAYNE: Fact is Darry, it's the end of November and if it ain't rainin' it's snowin'. And I'd just as soon do this in the rain instead of the snow. 

DARRYL: (Scowling as he sniffles.) I'd take snow over this any day. This is downright miserable.

DAN: It's likes I always says, ain't a month more miserables than Novembers before huntin’ seasons.

(DARRYL suddenly sneezes. DAN and WAYNE bless him.)

DAN: Are yous coming down withs a colds, Darry?

DARRYL: Might be. Comes from standing out in the rain for hours. 

WAYNE: Now that's a common misconception. A person doesn't catch cold from standing in the rain. You catch cold from viruses. Rain's got nothin' to do with it.

DARRYL: Tell that to this cold I'm catching. I was fine this morning.

(The men continue to work. KATY joins them.)

DAN: How are you now, Miss Katy?

KATY: Not so bad and you?

DAN: Not so bad. 

KATY: And how are you now, Darry?

(DARRYL sneezes in response.)

KATY: That good, huh?

DARRYL: I'm downright miserable, thanks for asking. I hate the rain.

KATY: It's like I always say, ain't a month more miserable than November before hunting season.

DAN: It so happens I says that too, Miss Katy.

(DARRYL doesn't respond. He's now shivering so hard his teeth are audibly chattering and his hands are shaking too hard to hold anything.)

KATY: Wayne, why are you still making Darry work? Can't you see he's freezing? He's useless like this.

WAYNE: I'm not makin' him work. He's free to go inside and warm up if he wants. I ain’t stoppin’ him.

KATY: (Rolling her eyes.) C'mon Darry. Let's get you warmed up inside. I'll make hot chocolate for everyone. You two come in when you're finished or you'll all be sick.

WAYNE: A person doesn't get sick from--

KATY: (Interrupting him.) Don't care.

(KATY pushes DARRYL toward the house. He allows himself to be led, his lips now blue with cold. He can barely walk due to the shivering.)

(Scene changes to inside the house. DARRYL is seated in the living room with a thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his pants rolled up to his knees. His feet are in a basin, into which KATY is adding steaming water. After a moment she stands.)

KATY: That should do you. Feeling better?

DARRYL: (Still shivering violently.) Maybe as little. (He sneezes wetly several times.)

KATY: Bless. I have a few more things for you too. (She turns to a stack of items behind her.) Here's the thick quilt from Wayne's room that he never uses, (She throws it around his shoulders on top of the other blanket.) some tissues so you stop using your sleeve to wipe your nose, (She tosses him a box which he catches, looking sheepish.) and a hot water bottle. (She retrieves the final item from the kitchen, plopping it onto his head.)

DARRYL: (Very congested now, but grateful.) Thanks Katy. 

KATY: Don't mention it. You looked like a pitiful, wet puppy out there.

(DAN and WAYNE enter, still soaking wet and now shivering.)

KATY: 'bout time you boys got in. The hot chocolate is almost cold by now.

WAYNE: (to DARRYL) You're looking very bundled.

DARRYL: You're looking soaked and miserable.

WAYNE: I always say, ain't a month more miserable than November before huntin' season starts.

KATY: Go get yourselves out of those wet things before you freeze.

(WAYNE and DAN shuffle away.)

(Scene changes to the same evening sometime later. WAYNE now has his feet in the basin of hot water, DAN has the hot water bottle on his head, and DARRYL is huddled on the couch still wrapped in the quilt. He is no longer shivering, but he looks sick. The other two are shivering and sniffling miserably. KATY walks in, looking annoyed.)

KATY: I hope you learned your lesson about chorin' in the rain in November.

WAYNE: (Teeth chattering.) I'd sooner work in the rain than the snow.

DARRYL: I wouldn't. I hate the rain. (He sneezes.)

WAYNE: No need to whine. You warmed up eventually didn't you?

DARRYL: But you haven't. And I haven't stopped sneezing. Damn rain made us all sick.

WAYNE: Rain can't make you sick. We must've been sick before and the rain just made us notice it.

DARRYL: I hate the rain for making us notice we were sick, then.

(Scene changes to WAYNE standing in front of the barn from the beginning.)

WAYNE: It's a common misconception that standing in the rain makes you sick. Still best to avoid chorin' in the rain if possible though, since it's an overall unpleasant experience.

~END~