#cassandra ttpd

[tswiftupdatess]

''Cassandra'' original lyrics:

Yeah, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst And tried to tell the town Yeah, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say Do you believe me now?

- In a mourning warning, no one heard No one heard, no one heard, not a single word, no one heard

When the first shots fired, there’s screaming

[shedidntevenswear]

Im not gonna pretend like I fully know what Cassandra is about but it DOES remind me of a point I’ve been making for years on the Kanye front. I cannot recall a time in Kanyes fame that he hasn’t been a misogynist. But it always gets excused away as “thats just rap” or “thats just celebrity drama”. Its not taken seriously because our society is still so deeply patriarchal that being sexist doesn’t really raise red flags unless you are blatantly calling for womens rights to be stripped away. Not even his extremely creepy wax doll thing seemed to make much of an impression.

And then he started saying weird racist things. And publicly harassing his ex wife. And reeeaaally digging in on his antisemitism. And everyone is suddenly like “whoa he’s terrible how did it come to this” and its like…hmmm if only you had listened to the women, one of which being Taylor Swift, that his misogyny should not be normalized and was actually harmful. If only we would start seeing disdain of women as an early red flag to other bigotry.

Im not saying the song is about Kanye Im just using that as an example of the overall theme of the song that is like…I tried to warn yall and you called me too sensitive and said I was actually the problem for pointing out a symptom of a deeper problem. And now that that problem is rearing its head youre all acting surprised. Extremely frustrating, and something that marginalized groups and “social justice warriors” deal with a lot I think. Very interesting.

[amyhasbluescreen]

So they killed Cassandra first Cause she feared the worst And tried to tell the town

[theysaidspeaknoww]

When the truth comes out, it's quiet, it's so quiet...

[feat-taylorswift]

i have a theory...

"you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" - asylum refers to the rep era/twitter during 2016 after all, the old taylor is dead, and the new taylor grew up there. cassandra is clearly about twitter during this time "tried to tell the town" - town being twitter, cassandra - the little amount of people defending her the clip on spotify for cassandra is the scene in the fortnight music video, when taylor is "electrocuted" - this may reflect the mental pain taylor suffered during 2016, due to the headpiece being where she is probably "electrocuted" - lmk if you think this is logical or just stupid please 😭😭

[mastermindmp3]

Oh, misery, misery! Again comes on me The terrible labor of true prophecy, dizzying prelude.

- Robert Fagles' translation of Agamemnon by Aeschylus

Cassandra is a song about a universal truth: the warning unheard, and the people who do the warning.

There are many, many variations on the myth of Cassandra, the prophet whose visions were always true, but never believed. In all of them, she is the daughter of the King and Queen of Troy.

Aeschylus said she promised the god Apollo to marry him in exchange for her prophetic powers. When she later walked back that promise, Apollo cursed her to never be believed. Hygneius sources say Cassandra never promised anything, and that the gift of prophecy was only given as an attempt to win her affection. When it did not succeed, Apollo cursed Cassandra. Men who do things for you expecting to be rewarded in sex: a tale as old as time.

Even later versions cut Apollo entirely - instead, Cassandra fell asleep in a temple, and snakes whispered prophecies into ears, giving her this power to foretell the future. In all versions, this power cannot save her. After the fall of Troy, Cassandra is kidnapped by Agamemnon as a concubine and later killed by Agamemnon's wife, Clytemnestra (or her lover, depending on whose telling the tale.)

I don't think Swift is directly mapping her experience to the myth in Cassandra, the song. Instead, the prophetess is a metaphor. It is all about the ways that public opinion is swayed by the first voice it hears, even if the truth comes out later.

The myth of Cassandra has become shorthand in the modern understanding for someone whose warning was correct, but not heeded. Swift's Cassandra, while pulling from this cultural consciousness, is much more concerned with Cassandra as a person; Swift depicts a very personal picture of her narrator, who clearly relates to the Prophetess.

It is empathy, all the way down.

The song itself is very clear with its imagery: Swift's narrator is "patching up the crack along the wall," repairing a small damage, when the unnamed family come along and burn her life down. So, she turns her "smiles into snarls," pacing with pain in her heart and venom whispered in her ears by snakes. The Narrator watches as the world realizes she was right, and then, she throws their image of perfect puritans in their face.

Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul.

It's all very I told you, you should have listened to me. And clearly, now that the truth is out, and it's cool to hate the ones she's held in her ire for years, Swift's narrator gives herself a little bit of room to say:

Do you believe me now?

It's almost very funny that I'm discussing this today - there has been a recent uproar about, specifically, scientific paper mills that exist to make money, as opposed to actually conduct research. To what end? Credentialing is a whole thing, but it's basically buying legitimacy. Scientific fraud is definitely not what this song is about, but the fact that truth tellers are so ignored in favor of profit or not shaking the status quo.

Swift loves a universal truth, and anyone who warns of duplicity is liable to be lambasted. Swift says to them - you were right, justified, and allows anyone in that position to feel both the grief and pride.

New hot take: Cassandra is the song for Retraction Watch nerds (me) and Brian Deer. I'm only partially being facetious.

[soupdeewoop]

favorite lines from "THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT: THE ANTHOLOGY"

and it hits me, i just dont understand how you dont miss me, in the black dog

that was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming

and i may never open up the way i did for you

now i want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes, and hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons, even if i die screaming, and i hope you hear it

and i hope its shitty, in the black dog

i still cant believe it, cause old habits die screaming

honey, i can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean

whether im gonna be your wife or, gonna smash up your bike

i hear the whispers in your eyes, ill make you wanna think twice, youll find, that you were never not mine, youre mine

flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party, or i might just love you til the end

whether im gonna flip you off or, pull you into the closet, i haven't decided yet i told my friends i hate you but i love you just the same, pick your poison, babe, im poison either way

a rose by any other name is a scandal

cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you

locked me up in towers, but id visit in your dreams, and they tried to warn you about me

and when that sky rains fire on you, and youre persona non grata, ill tell you how ive been there too, and that none of it matters

the devil that you know, looks now more like an angelso cross your thoughtless heart, shes the albatross, she is here to destroy you

your hologram stumbled into my apartment, hands in the hair of somebody in darkness named chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

as the decade would play us for fools

if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say, "i loved you the way that you were", if you want to tear my world apart, just say you've always wondered

you said some things that i cant unabsorb, you turned me into an idea of sorts

i changed into goddesses, villains and fools, changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

back to the moment i crashed into you, like so many wrecks do, too impaired by my youth, to know what to do

will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon

cause i wonder, will i always, will i always wonder?

and so a touch that was my birthright became foreign

the empathetic hunger descends

we learned the right steps to different dances

soon theyll go home to their husbands, smug cause they know they can trust him, then feverishly calling their cousins

guess who we ran into at the shops, walking in circles like she was lost, didnt you hear they called it all off

say it once again with feeling, how the death rattle breathing, silenced as the soul was leaving, the deflation of our dreaming, leaving me bereft and reeling, my beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree, d-y-i-n-g

well tell no one except all of our friends, but i still dont know, how did it end?

i wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

tell me bout the first time you saw me

ill drink what you think, and im high, from smoking your jokes all damn night

your friends are around, so be quiet, im trying to stifle my sighs

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? (kill me), its just a game, but really (really), im bettin on all three for us two (all three)

no ones ever had me (had me), not like you

truth, dare, spin bottles, you know how to ball, i know aristotle, brand new, full-throttle, touch me while your bros play grand theft auto, its true, swear, scouts honor, you knew what you wanted and boy, you got her, brand new, full-throttle, you already know, babe

do that impression you did of your dad again

im sinking, our fingers entwined, cheeks pink in the twinkling lights, cause i feel so high school (i feel so high school), every time i look at you, but look at you

if comfort is a construct, i dont believe in good luck, now that i know whats what

no mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears, im there most of the year cause i hate it here, i hate it here

everyone would look down cause it wasnt fun now, seems like it was, never even fun back then, nostalgia is a minds trick, if id been there, id hate it, it was freezing in the palace

i hate it here so i will go to lunar valleys in my mind

im lonely, but im good, im bitter, but i swear im fine, ill save all my romanticism for my inner life, and ill get lost on purpose, this place made me feel worthless, lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me, and in my fantasies, i rise above it, and way up there, i actually love it

quick, quick, tell me something awful, like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy

and it was always the same searing pain, but i dreamed that one day, i could say all that time you were throwing punches, i was building something

and it wasnt a fair fight, or a clean kill, each time that aimee stomped across my grave

screamed, "fuck you, aimee" to the night sky, as the blood was gushing, but i cant forget the way you made me heal everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman, but she used to say she wished that you were dead wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool, i built a legacy that you cant undo

and so i changed your name and any real defining clues, and one day, your kid comes home singing, a song that only us two is gonna know is about you cause

screamed, "thank you, aimee" to the night sky, and the stars are stunning

i had died the tiniest death, i spied the catch in your breath, out, out, out, out, out, out

i look in peoples windows, in case youre at their table, what if your eyes looked up and met mine, one more time

what are the chances youd be downtown, downtown, downtown

im addicted to the if only

so i look in peoples windows, like im some deranged weirdo, i attend christmas parties from outside, i look in peoples windows, in case youre at their table, what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time

hand on the throttle, thought i caught lightning in a bottle

pad around when i get home, i guess a lesser woman wouldve lost hope, a greater woman wouldnt beg, but i looked to the sky and said

please, ive been on my knees, change the prophecy, dont want money, just someone who wants my company, let it once be me, who do i have to speak to, about if they can redo the prophecy?

poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand, oh, still i dream of him

and i sound like an infant, feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen, a greater woman stays cool, but i howl like a wolf at the moon, and i look unstable but even statues crumble if theyre made to wait, im so afraid i sealed my fate, no sign of soulmates, im just a paperweight in shades of greige, spending my last coin so someone will tell me itll be okay

i was in my new house placing daydreams, patching up the crack along the wall

so they killed cassandra first, cause she feared the worst

i was in my tower weaving nightmares, twisting all my smiles into snarls

bloods thick but nothing like a payroll, bet they never spared a prayer for my soul, you can mark my words that i said it first, in a mourning warning no one heard

when the first stones thrown theres screaming, in the streets theres a raging riot, when its burn the bitch, theyre shrieking, when the truth comes out its quiet, its so quiet

forgive me peter, my lost fearless leader, in closets like cedar, preserved from when we were just kids, is it something i did?

are you still a mind reader?, a natural scene stealer, ive heard great things peter, but life was always easier on you, than it was on me

we both did the best we could do underneath the same moon, in different galaxies, and i didnt want to hang around, we said it was just goodbye for now

and i wont confess that i waited, but i let the lamp burn

cause loves never lost when perspective is earned

forgive me peter, please know that i tried, to hold onto the days when you were mine, but the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

you said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me, you said you were gonna grow up

you said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me, said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me, said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me, words from the mouths of babes, promises oceans deep, but never to keep, never to keep

a curious child, ever reviled, by everyone except her own father

excellent fun til you get to know her, then she runs like its a race

"oh, we must stop meeting like this"

ended with the slam of a door, then hell call her a whore, wish he wouldnt be sore

but as she was leaving, it felt like breathing

all her fuckin lives, flashed before her eyes, it feels like the time, she fell through the ice, then came out alive

and at first blush, this is fate, when its all roses, portrait poses, central park lake in tiny rowboats, what a charming saturday!

and she just knows. she must bolt.

theres escape in escaping

ended with the slam of a door, but shes got the best stories, you can be sure, that as she was leaving. it felt like freedom.

out window panes talking utter nonsense, you have no idea

way to go, tiger, higher and higher, wilder and lighter, for you

long may you roar, at your dinosaurs, youre a just ruler, covered in mud, you look ridiculous, and you have no idea

buried down deep and out of your reach, the secret we all vowed, to keep it from you in sweetness

you got the dragonflies above your bed, you have a favorite spot on the swing set, you have no room in your dreams for regrets

now and then she rereads the manuscript, of the entire torrid affair

he said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was soon theyd be pushin strollers, but soon it was over

she thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years, everything had been above board, she wasnt sure

and the years passed, like scenes of a show, the professor said to write what you know, lookin backwards might be the only way to move forward, then the actors were hitting their marks, and the slow dance was alight with the sparks, and the tears fell in synchronicity with the score, and at last, she knew what the agony had been for

now and then i reread the manuscript, but the story isnt mine anymore

[bitchyouruinedmypeaches]

self-made cover for Taylor's 'Cassandra' ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

[doodlebugdpj]

Greek Myth references in TTPD

I was listening to "Cassandra" and "thanK you aIMee" and was thinking about the references. I realized that they were probably mentioned because of Greek Tragedy.

The whole thing about Cassandra is that she was given the gift of prophecy but nobody in Troy believed her. Snakes are connected to Apollo in Greek Mythology, it could also be a reference to Kim Kardashian

"thanK you aIMee" mentioned pushing a boulder up the hill (which might be a reference to Sisyphus, just read the first part about having to do things over and over again)

This might just be me being delusional.... 🤣

[swifterthancivility]

It drives me absolutely crazy when people say they don't know what cassandra is about. Because y'all I fucking know what it's about. I wanna say like 2 years ago. It might have been longer. I'm not good at remembering time. I have ADHD But a really long time ago ish, An article came out and it was the full conversation between taylor and kanye about the famous music video. So it was the full phone call. I don't know if it was just one article, But I only ever saw one article. And not only does it completely vindicate. Taylor because since day one, there was no video of her approving the most offensive parts of the video and song. But it also shows that she advised him not to release the song because it would be controversial. Which let us remember, The only reason that they went after taylor in the first place, Was because kanye was getting so much shit about how creepy and weird that fucking song and video were. Like, They one hundred percent ruined taylor's life to avoid consequences for their own actions.

And obviously it didn't ruin her entire career and she ended up being fine And obviously it didn't ruin her entire career and she ended up being fine, But she was definitely traumatized. Like personally, I was low-key traumatized by how many people were absolutely gas? Lighting me and saying that she was a liar when she didn't lie about anything. She barely even complained. This exact event is when I learned that the internet Does not have any critical thinking skills. Y'all will really cancel someone 'cause the sky is blue. And again, No, She wasn't " Canceled" In the sense that she didn't lose any money or fame, But it was still very traumatizing for her to go through that. Because you have to remember, Kanye West Called her a bitch said that he made her famous and then put A wax figure of her body in a bed with him. His wife and bill cosby a person who had very recently been accused of rape. Then when she accepted an award and said " Don't let anyone take credit for your success" He and his wife got all of their followers to harass her and call her a liar. When she literally told him not to release it because it was gonna be super controversial. So just put yourself in that position for a hot minute.

Bringing us back to the point, That is what cassandra is about. "When it's burned the bitch they're screaming" aka "They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one." She's talking about the original edited phone call. "When the truth comes out it's quiet" She's talking about how when the full phone call came out, nobody mentioned it. Which it is evidenced by the fact that none of you all know what the song is about. Like so, many people are confused about the meaning of this song. It's crystal clearest day my friends. But none of you all know, Because when the truth comes out, it's quiet.

Also I don't know where that leak came from, But only a limited number of people had access to the video. So personally, I think, That it came from something around the time. Kim and Kanye broke up. Like I Personally think that taylor may have offered some sort of evidence to kim that allowed her to keep custody of her kids al la vigilante shit. And she asked them to "leak" the full phone call in order to receive that information. And she might have expected it to be this whole huge thing. But it ended up that nobody really gave a shit. Or maybe she didn't have anything to do with it, but it leaked because of whatever reason, And still, Nobody gave a shit. Which this absolutely infuriated me to at the time. I was like "JUSTICE" And I was the only person who even knew about it.

Anyway taylor, I know this is soliloquy, you will never see, But I was out there in the trenches in the streets. I was like "y'all. She never said it was okay. She didn't approve the video. Y'all are all calling her a liar For no reason!!!!" Like to this day. I am still so angry about this. It's to the point Where I have like ended conversations on dating apps because of this, I have unfollowed content creators. Because I don't like it when they get the facts wrong, And I have like completely soured on people as friends if they talk about this and they don't know what they're talking about. Or at least Let me explain it to them.

Is taylor a flawed person? Yes. But ultimately the thing that was the issue about this is that she was really under the radar. Like prior to this, People just said taylor seems like a nice girl but she dates around a lot and her music is kind of boring. None of those things are true. Except the fact that she's nice, she does seem very nice, Or at least all accounts of her are that she's very nice. And they did obviously bother her, But, They really weren't that bad. After that story came out, People were doing what you see them doing now, Like everyone was knit picking her. It became popular to talk about how stupid she was or how out of touch she was or how racist she was. When she literally didn't do anything usually. And people would just like attack her for like wearing the wrong color. And they still do, Like so, many people criticize her and they know it's gonna get views because it's just gonna be popular to talk shit about her. That environment did not exist before. There was definitely a lot of people saying that she was just lame but that was true of everyone who was popular in music at the time. Like In twenty twelve I graduated high school, And when I went to college, everyone was making fun of hipsters, The phrase "I liked ___ before they were cool" was literally on everyone's lips. So, While yeah, it does suck that people were talking shit about her and how she was boring and not had a good writer even though she was, They were pretty much saying that about any popular white girl making music. And while they Did criticize her dating life, They were doing that for everyone else too.

After The whole phone call situation, The vitriol towards her never really went away. And someone mentioned it in a podcast. I was listening to, But they were like for someone who was just so inoffensive. As a person, people are so polarized when they talk about her. Like you Either absolutely love her or absolutely hate her. And by the way, Swifties did not become rabid until after this situation. Because like I said, we felt very gaslight because she literally didn't do anything wrong. And for years, All anyone's sad when they talked about her was just dunking on her. So unless you were like AP. H d level expert and taylor swift, Most people just thought she was an asshole. Like I've seen people say that. She never thanked Beyoncé for giving her time. After kanye stole her speech in the VMAs, But she is so nice to Beyoncé. And they have a good friendship. Like she sends beyonce flowers and she always hypes up Beyonce. I don't think they're bestie's. But I definitely think they have a good relationship. But you wouldn't know about that because at the time, This was pre eras tour, All you saw of taylor was criticism. Unless it was a swiftie talking.

And the other aspect of this that is similar to cassandra, the myth. Is that this was the beginning of kanye being unhinged. And I truly think if he had gotten the appropriate backlash that he should have gotten from the famous video. And he wasn't able to just put it on someone else like he did with taylor, He probably wouldn't be a nazi right now. Like I honestly feel bad for kanye More than anything else because it is so clear to me that he is having a Mental health spiral that is related to the death of his mother. I don't know if it's about her death, but like she was managing it with him before and he doesn't have that now. And if he wasn't rich, he would probably be in inpatient psychiatric care. That decision might have been easier for him to make. Or the people around him to make, If he had gotten the proper backlash for trying to harass. Taylor and bully her. But instead in that pivotal moment, He learned that he can pretty much get away with whatever he wants as long as he blames someone else. So even if you like kanye, It's clear that his fame is causing him to suffer. And the whole thing just enabled that suffering. Because no one held him accountable for what he did. And of course, Kim is worst of all here. Because she has a law degree, She is fully capable of making good decisions, And rather than calling him out and telling him that he was not doing something right, Or pushing back on the harmful behavior he did, She completely enabled his actions. And I think that's why Taylor gets more mad at Kim. Because when you look at kanye, he is just not in his right mind, it's very clear. But kim absolutely could have stopped this train at any point. And if you think about it, Taylor was the one who first show us all this. She was the one who pointed out that he was being a bully. But hey, Why listen to Her? She's just some boring white girl, right?

Anyway, If you are wondering what the song cassandra is about, That's when it's about. And I absolutely love the myth of cassandra and everyone should look into it.

[aberooski]

The way Cassandra is actually about Atticus finding out about Darkness through Fujiwara and being throw to the shadows as a result and the cover-up thereafter and him having to accept the power of Darkness to survive and being possessed and Honest trying to kill him over what happened back then when he didn't do anything all because he knew.

[stillgotscars]

cassandra x mad woman x idsb mashup - taylor swift

[hope-ur-ok]

ttpd is now complete

[reputayswift]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT + literary references (part 1)

(sources: cassandra, who's afraid of little old me, peter, the prophecy)

[jessmalia]

Cassandra and But Daddy I Love Him being two sides of the same coin

[midnightsslut]

religion is one of the most prominent recurring themes on the album, and it has been present in some capacity for quite a few records now. taylor previously compared love to religion: her saving grace, her belief system, and a fated divine intervention (false god, cornelia street, and cruel summer are the best examples of this). ‘sacred new beginnings that became my religion’ and ‘we’d still worship this love even if it’s a false god’ are two of the defining statements about her philosophy on the lover album.

taylor doesn’t want to leave all of that behind on ttpd, at least not at the beginning. the first supernatural force she mentions is the spaceship on down bad, which she compares to a skylight of freedom in the epilogue. *something* has finally come to save her from her life of suffering. she doesn’t care if it’s a force of good at first; if anything, she’s just fine being taken away by aliens. she views this man as her destiny. it isn’t until guilty as sin? that taylor starts to ponder the moral implications of what she’s doing. is she guilty as sin for wanting to leave her previous religion and relationship behind? she comes to the conclusion that, even if she rolls the stone away and gets resurrected/redeemed, she cannot avoid the fallout. she is okay with the thought of having to wait, as long as both lovers vow to be together forever, just as she once did with someone else in false god. ‘I choose you and me religiously’ finishes the bridge of the song in a direct callback to cornelia street.

the next mention of religion has murkier imagery. she claims that she does not need the Lord’s help to save this man. she sees the halo that he has, and she can fix him herself. now that she feels free of her prior cage, she isn’t looking for divine intervention anymore. she wants control. she is their route to salvation.

when the relationship falls apart, she retreats back into the position of a believer rather than a divine figure. she compares him to a Holy Ghost who promised to save her and take her to heaven. instead, she is in hell in every sense of the word: she’s down bad and feels guilty for digging up the grave. he was a jehovah’s witness who promised that she could break free of the cage imposed by love without changing her religion altogether; she would’ve just had to switch denominations. she could still have a marriage and kids! she could still have a blue tortured poet! the man was different, but not the dreams they had together. the story of the first part of the album ends here. her faith has been broken, and she has only found any semblance of sanity by refusing to mention these belief systems altogether.

side b/the anthology blends the christian imagery of side a with goddesses, sorcerers, and prophecies. she bargains with these powers to let her have the future she wants (the prophecy). she doesn’t sound like someone believing in salvation. if anything, she feels cursed. she decides that the concept of divinely ordained timing will never work in certain relationships (‘the goddess of timing once found us beguiling / she said she was trying / peter, was she lying?’). this disdain extends onto her perception of other people’s faith (‘bet they never spared a prayer for my soul’). she does position herself as a prophet in cassandra, but even then, she admits that the role has hurt her. perhaps the pain in thank you aimee was meant to be, or perhaps she was just strong enough to build a legacy in spite of it, boulder by boulder. is she a martyr? does she want to be? or did she save herself?

the only real love song on this half of the album makes no mention of fate or any divine forces. it wasn’t meant to be. it’s not a supernatural invisible string or lightning in a bottle. she is just in love.

the album ends with the manuscript, which revisits an old story of a defining, formative heartbreak. as she sings ‘at last, she knew what the agony had been for’ while describing the legacy of her writing, she seems to revert to thinking about the purpose of trauma. the only exception is that, in this case, she is the one who found meaning in her pain by turning it into a manuscript. writing is her belief system now, and she proselytizes by telling her stories and thus giving up the manuscript.

ultimately, her belief in destiny has chewed her up and spat her out. she so desperately clung to her existing belief systems that she was fooled by a conman, which left her feeling cursed. religion is supposed to be with someone even in their darkest moments, but the album explains that taylor often felt abandoned. the only constant in her life was, well, herself. she’ll be okay, but her pen will be her saving grace.