#celery juice is Not Good
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rondleberg · 2 months ago
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ewwwwwwww
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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today I will drink so much water & work out & sit under the sun & journal & eat good
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motherish · 4 months ago
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#sushi telling me she’s been really into a specific yogurt today lol
I love you for this cause i had this post saved for that exact reason LOL
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thornestar · 5 months ago
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Drank some celery juice this morning for its anti-inflammatory properties and that stuff EATS!
It was not delicious.
It did reduce the swelling and pain in my abdomen significantly!!
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cannibaliist · 5 months ago
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Pink Matter - Sevika x F!Reader (18+)
One shot | Part 2 soon??
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Contains: 18+, sickfic, slight modern!au, smut, explicit content!!, NSFW, mentions of alcohol and weed consumption, established relationship, no use of y/n, nicknames of 'baby girl, sweet girl, etc.' mentioned, dom!sevika, strap ons, oral!s e x reader recieving, rough, vaginal s e x
Word Count: 3.6K
a/n: the Sevika brainrot got too much so here we are lol . hope you enjoy !!
cross posted on AO3
title inspired by Pink Matter by Frank Ocean
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Sevika likes you even when you're sick. Because there is no other grown woman or man she'd allow to perspire on her sheets and take up all the space on her mattress on an early Saturday morning when she's finally free from work and Silco's nagging. So yeah, she likes you all right. 
You don't usually get sick often, especially with her watching over you to make sure you're warm during Zaun's freezing weather. 
Your sweat-coated skin soaks through the double layer of navy blue sheets on the bed. It turns the blue almost black and Sevika can only think about how her shit – the one pair of sheets she probably owns – is definitely close to fucked up. God, you are so lucky she doesn't want you to die from whatever you contracted after fucking around all night during the misting rain, laughing and dancing high off your mind from the cheap weed Sevika bought off her coworker. That mixed with what the people called “Shimmer Juice”, you were half out of your mind for the night. 
“Baby get the hell inside,” Sevika had told you last night, but all you did was smile at her. That blinding ass smile full of white teeth and crescent shaped eyes that made her heart start thumping a little faster in her chest. Fuck. She really was in love with you. 
So of course, now you were running a fever and swaddled in whatever blankets she could scrounge up around her room. Sevika likes you like this though, fading in and out of consciousness.
Snoring softly and muttering small words while grasping at whatever body part of Sevika you could reach to keep you warm. You get super clingy when you're sick, one of the only times you are completely super sweet and malleable instead of talking back to Sevika like she won't put you in your place the next moment, but your freak ass is into it so she has to calm herself down another way to not give you exactly what you want. Still, she smiles at your petty actions. Helps to know you really want her in every single form.
She decided to run a few errands while your younger form slept, grabbing soup ingredients – Does my love prefer celery or corn? – bottles of water and a thermometer that she's never bothered to keep in her home before. The things my baby makes me do, she thinks as she puts her things into her grocery basket. 
When she gets back and puts the groceries away she expects for her baby to still be sound asleep but instead you seem a bit off. Hair splayed out everywhere with your chest rising and falling heavily. A flush in your cheeks that's still so visible even with the color of your skin, tinted a steady red even in your sleep. 
Sevika wondered if you were having a nightmare, thrashing and moving in your sleep like you do when your dreams get really bad, fighting more than just sickness.
But instead, your whole body is trembling, your hips unconsciously grinding into the sweat-stained sheets. Sevika walks closer, watching you move your body further into the bed, soft little groans escaping your plush lips. She stills as you mutter a soft cry for her. “Sevika…” She holds her breath, slowly approaching the voice. “Sevi, please.”
Sevika smirks to herself, touching a hand to your warmed skin shaking your awake. “Get up, sweet girl.” She had to take your temperature now before giving you any water. You startle with a groan, whining like you always do. Some nonsense about a “-middle of a good dream. ruin everything.”
“Open your mouth for something other than running it baby.” Even though you're slightly annoyed from being woken up from such a nice dream, you do as instructed, mouth wide and hinting for more than just a thermometer. 
Sevika felt a twinge in her pants. Her desire to slide her strap down your awaiting throat was just too tempting. Instead, she cups your jaw, and sticks the thermometer tip under your tongue. You glare and let out a soft whine of disappointment. “Tease,” you mutter. 
Sevika rolls her eyes at the petulant behavior and pulls out the thermometer at the beep. “101.4, Told your crazy ass to sit down last night and now here we are,” she scoffs. “Sit up and drink some water.”
You groan and turn your head away, letting yourself fall back onto the bed. “Don't want to.”
Sevika sighs, sliding her warm fingers over your sweat-soaked hair, small pieces threatening to curl at the nape of your neck. They feel nice as they start to comb at your scalp. “Listen, you've been playing housewife all week, cleaning and cooking all nice for me, let me take care of you now baby girl.” 
You groan again, weak hands gripping the edge of the blanket, trying to pull it off of you. You sigh into the pillow, words all muddied and unclear. “Speak up baby, I'm not straining to hear you.”
You take a deep, labored breath in, and turn her head towards Sevika, cheeks getting all hot. “Said you want to, so take care of me.”
Her eyes narrow at you, “What do you think I'm doing?” 
“No Sevi, I need you to fuck me. Please.” 
Sevika grips your chin, hard, probably could leave a few bruises if she tried hard enough. You twitch under her touch, ultra-sensitive from the fever. “You're outta your mind right now. You need to rest ”
You bring a hand to Sevika’s thigh as she hovers over you, grasping with more strength than you probably needed to have. “I need it, please. I'll be good.”
Just the thought of your body loose and desperate sends a rush straight to the older woman's crotch. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. Fuck me, Sevika.” Your voice was exhausted, but eager, wide eyes staring endlessly into her own dark grey ones. 
She watches the quickened rise and fall of your chest as she goes to take off her vest and her pants. Of course she's commando. Of course. The thing you're waiting for is less than 5 steps away, tucked in the nightstand drawer. Sevika is quick to grab the strap-on and fasten it around herself. It's a beautiful deep shade of purple and thick and practically gleaming as she steps closer to you. You scramble out of your sleep shorts and t-shirt to feel her presence even closer.
“Gonna slick me up baby? Get me ready for you?” She asks as she sizes you up. Her eyes are dark, hungry, for you. 
You nod dumbly. So ready to suck her off like you've done times before. 
She drags her metal hand along your lower leg, up your shaking thighs, over your awaiting ass in your underwear, and up to your back. You twitch at the cold of the metal, too much sensation from such a small gesture. Simply Sevika’s touch – gentle strokes across the skin – was overwhelming. 
Sevika gently tugs on your jaw, testing how pliable and easy you promised to be. She was met with no resistance as your mouth opened with ease, “doing so good already baby.” 
Sevika stepped closer, hovering over your face, sliding in her strap until she hit the back of your throat with no resistance. You were too tired for a reflex, too tired to choke. Fuck, she could do anything she wanted to you right now and you wouldn't even flinch. Something dark coiled in Sevika's stomach, if she was a better person she would've ignored your pleas and doped you up with enough medicine to tire you out but she wasn't an entirely good person, and you liked her that way. 
Sevika worked your mouth, it's as if she could feel the warm back of your throat every time she bottomed out. But the small quiver of breath on the straps cockhead was a reminder that you needed to breathe.
Tears welled in your eyes, and Sevika had to fight coming right then and there. She wanted to fill your throat, make you keep her strap warm as you swallowed every last bit of her. The only fight you had was an involuntary gasp for air. Sevika held you there for just a second longer, slowly sliding out of your mouth, warm and wet. As Sevika’s strap head passes your lips, you groan, trying to get Sevika to put herself back where she belongs.
Sevika replaces the emptiness with her fingers, laying them on your tongue instead. “Not now baby girl.”  
Sevika hovers over you, staring at your parted lips, watching your eyes flutter as sweat drips down your brow. She lowered her hips, slowly dragging her strap along your entrance. Sevika’s other hand traveled down to the leaking pussy between your thighs, mouth watering at the wetness. She thumbs your clit slowly as she grasps your ass with her metal hand.
You gasp at the soft friction, pushing your hips up to meet Sevika, breath heavy. “Need you Sevi, please.”
“Keep your hands up. Just like that.” You cross your arms above your head as you ache to touch Sevika back. Your skin is hot and flushed and you feel like you'll explode any second that your girlfriend isn't touching you. 
“Hurry, please.” 
“Patience pretty girl,” Sevika warns. Your whines were cut short by Sevika’s mouth meeting your own. The kiss was rough, more teeth meeting lips and gasps than anything else but it was perfect. Just like her. 
Sevika pulls away and watches her baby's head lift off the pillow to chase her, falling back almost immediately with a huff. You let your hands move from where they lay against the pillow crossed to pull Sevika back down into a kiss. Desperate. 
Pulling away again Sevika pins your wrist to the mattress with a growl. You stare up at her, eyes shining with tears but overfilled with lust and want. Fuck. “You don't listen for shit, girl. Keep your hands where I can see ‘em.”
Sevika kisses along your jaw and neck, soft nips and bites that you wanted to feel more of. Wanted them to bruise. To show everyone who you belonged to. But all you can do is whine and mumble out whispers instead of words.  
“Use your words, baby.”
You choke on your words. “M-more. Please.”
Sevika leans back down, crashing her lips into yours. “You want more?”
You groan into her mouth. “Please, anything.”
Sevika pulls away, spitting into your mouth, hungry and aching. “Swallow. Want you to remember that taste.” You swallow greedily, heart pumping as Sevika kisses down the soft skin of your stomach, inching closer to your cunt. 
She smirks at the sight, you already so desperate for more, as she runs her fingers up and down your warm entrance. You moan at the sudden intrusion, rocking back onto Sevika’s hand as she slips a finger in, all the way to the knuckle, groaning at the heat and the way you're clenched so tight around her. 
“Another please, Sevika.”
One finger quickly becomes three, and you can't even flinch at the rushed invasion, just blabbering and moaning as Sevika's thick fingers slam into your pussy. Your hips rock against Sevika’s hand as you can do nothing but wordlessly whimper and beg for something.
Sevika hits that special spot in quick little pumps, bringing your muted cries to loud gasps. 
“Almost there, baby.” Sevika tells you, her ability to hold herself back from jumping your bones entirely is slowly starting to crumble. 
When she deems you prepped enough, she takes her fingers away and slides them into her mouth making you moan. She licks her fingers like it's nectar as she sucks them into her mouth. 
Finally, Sevika settles between your trembling thighs, the color a hue she's always loved from all the time you spent tanning in the sun with no worries in the world.
A gentle groan passes by your lips as Sevika sucks a mark into the flesh of your legs, nipping along the skin turning it into a pinkish red that will soon blossom into a deep purple. She grazes her teeth along your inner thigh, biting down hard. She trails her fingers up the backs of both your legs, settling on your ass and grabbing at the soft flesh, sending a shiver up your spine. 
You mewled, begging. “Need you please.” You could feel Sevika smile into the mark she made on your thigh, turned on beyond relief at your begging. “Just a little longer baby.”
Giving you a pat on the head, she lowers her awaiting mouth to your weeping cunt, though you're already close even from her thick fingers inside of you. You moaned at the contact, gripping the sheets as Sevika licks you up clean. You resist the overwhelming urge to clutch at her hair as she works you out, but you promised not to move your hands. You'd listen this once, just for her. 
She works her tongue over your swelling clit, swirling her tongue, and moving back down. She ate you like a pro, taking you deeper in her mouth, breathing in the smell of her girl and the tickle of your hairs along her face. Whether you had a bush or shaved for some occasions, she was very appreciative of the effort, regardless of how you presented yourself to her. 
She fucks you with her tongue and only adds in a single finger. Pistoning faster as she works at your clit. It's all too much too soon and she pulls off to lick you up again, fingers still angled over your sweet spot, when she hears a loud cry. You've already cum. Making the sheets stain a darker shade of navy blue. 
“W-what the fuck?” You say more to yourself than anyone else. The fever makes you even more sensitive, even the littlest bit of stimulation making you come, it's insanely embarrassing to your already dwindling ego. 
“Think you can do one more?” the older woman chuckles. You just shake your head nervously, tears peaking at the corner of your eyes. “No more.”  
Sevika's eyes harden, grasping your hips and digging her nails in. The clutch of her metal fingers into the flesh of your hip leaves you reeling – knowing it's gonna bruise later. “If I tell you one more, then it's gonna be one more.” 
He slicks up her glistening strap with whatever lube she had on her dresser already half empty, and positions her above you. She lines herself up, pushing slow yet unyielding into you. You can't help but scream as Sevika pulls out and slams her strap into you, purposely missing your sweet spot just to make you beg for it. 
You try and bite your arm to quiet your whimpers, it was embarrassing wanting her so bad, wanting her dick, her strap, inside you so bad. Sevika reaches up, grabbing your face until they drift to your throat. “You can be loud, baby, let me hear you.”
She fucks you slow and deep, wanting to savor every second you're so pliant underneath her. Your mind is quieted by the fever, now, basically delirious. She uses just enough pressure against your throat to let you breathe, already labored and erratic.
It feels like your whole body is on fire. Only filled with thoughts of Sevika Sevika Sevika. Those words chant themselves over and over in your mind like a mantra. 
Sevika places your legs over her shoulders and enters again with no hesitation, fucking into you even faster. “Touch yourself sweet girl. Wanna see you cum again.”
You whimper. “Sevika, I don’t think-”
Sevika puts a finger over your mouth. “You don't get to tell me no princess, you wanted this, remember?” It was mocking, less a question and more a statement. Of course you remember, it's burned into the back of your mind. 
Your weak hand reaches for your clit to give it at least a little bit of stimulation. But there's no strength left in your body to bring yourself to come again, your grip was nothing more than a soft coaxing. Tears fill your eyes from frustration, from pleasure, a sharp mixture of both. 
With a laugh, Sevika slaps your pathetic hand away and brings her hand to your clit herself. Sevika continues to stroke you, angling her hips to hit even deeper into your tight pussy. It's all too much and all you can do is sob. 
Sevika moves her vacant metal hand from your hip to your throat, choking you properly now. Sevika’s pace quickens, folding you in half with your thighs against her sticky chest, thrusting as deep into you as she could. Your eyes began to roll, chest heaving from a sob but no words can escape her lips. 
“Please don't stop, please.”
You barely have time to process what’s happening before Sevika folds you in half again. You love the way the older woman makes you feel when she's caged over you. You're not overly short or tall, but you still feel so small in comparison to Sevika’s more broad-shouldered frame. You feel your body shake as Sevika sheathes herself back inside fully with one single thrust. You barely manage to take it, body tightening around her cock reflexively. It's basically an extension of her at this point. 
She lets her hand slither from around your neck to your boobs, fondling them as she fucks you harder. You scramble against the sheets with sweaty hands and weak fingers, trying to get away from the pistoning dick tearing you apart. Sevika is so big inside of you, he can hardly feel anything else. 
She kisses you and it feels like heaven all over again. 
Feels like you're drowning in pure bliss. She keeps fucking you through it, making you cum over and over again, watching as your body writhes in agony and overstimulation. It almost hurts, so fucking much, but it feels so so good. You love that Sevika isn’t afraid to handle you roughly – isn't afraid to slam her hips forward like she wants to destroy your guts with each thrust – but she isn't afraid to truly make love to you either, all nice and slow. Here, your mind finally has the ability to finally shut off and you can submit yourself fully to the older woman.
When Sevika finally comes it's like you can practically feel the strap swell inside of you. 
Sevika pulls out with a groan, as if it really is her own cock and not a toy. Something about it has your stomach swirling into knots again. 
She licks her lips. “Not done with you yet baby.” 
Sevika grabs you by your waist and flips you over, shoving your face deep into the mattress. 
“Fit around this cock so well baby girl. Bet you're wishing it was real huh?”
You can barely process Sevika’s words, only letting out a jumbled, “only yours Sevi” before your mind is clouded by a thick sheen of tears, sweat, and cum. You can't count how many times you come before you pass out from the fever and from working your body so hard. 
————
When you come to, the first thing you feel is emptiness. The emptiness of your cunt and the bed as Sevika is nowhere to be seen. It triggers something in your chest and he can't help the sob that gets stuck in her throat. You want to call out for her, cry, something, but your throat is wrecked and raw. 
“Sevika?” you push out, voice weak from exertion. 
After a few moments of silence, you hear the floorboards creak near the bedroom door. It's Sevika with a bowl of something in her hand and a bottle of water. She smiles at you, her lopsided smile glistening against the window light and it's all too domestic. 
“You aight Bambi?” The special nickname makes you want to jump her bones all over again. Her voice is soft as if speaking any louder would frighten you. But you're strong, already feeling better from your nap. You just nod, reaching an arm out towards Sevika's approaching figure to motion her to the space on the bed next to you. 
There’s different sheets this time, a creamy grey color and you wonder how long you were out cold so that she was able to replace sheets right under you.  
“I'm right here baby hold on.” He grabs the thermometer from the nightstand, motioning for you to open your mouth again. 
“98.9” she says after the beep. She cracks a wide smile, “fucking miracle my strap is huh?” You can only roll your eyes, “don't get too cocky, Sevi. I was right after all.” 
Sevika wraps you in a hug, breathing in the faint smell of sex, and the smell of your shampoo. “Eat your soup and if you're good I'll let you sleep with it in.” She raises her eyebrows suggestively, grinning larger than life. The little gap between her teeth has your heart melting as you kiss her softly. 
“I love you so much Sevika.” She presses your foreheads together and holds the sides of your face with her hands.
One kiss to your left eyelid, one kiss to your right lid, another to the tip of your nose, and finally another one your lips as she clutches you tighter. “I love you too baby.”
You eat your soup with a hunger you've never had before in your life. You go to sleep very happy that night, stomach full and pussy full as she spoons you as you both fall asleep. 
~~~~
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rafeslittlepup · 2 months ago
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Sexist!Rafe shaming/forcing a diet on a chubby reader or reader who he thinks is getting a bit too thick for his liking
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cw: sexist!rafe, body image issues, why is rafe giving pr*ana coach in this?
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it starts small, like always.
rafe notices before you even do. the way the waistband of your skirt hugs just a little tighter. the way your cheeks look a little rounder when you pout up at him. or the way you go for a second pasta serving at dinner without even thinking.
and at first, he just teases, brushing it off with a smirk:
“might wanna slow down on dessert, princess. don’t wanna outgrow all those pretty little skirts i bought you, do you?”
you just giggle, all clueless and sweet. thinking he’s joking. you have no idea how serious it’ll get.
one night, after dinner, you’re straddling his lap, giggling in your usual skims silk set, he grips your waist a little harder than usual, frowning a little too obvious.
“gotta keep my little doll tight, yeah? perfect. just the way I like you.”
he tugs at the softness around your hips meaningfully. really letting it linger.
and you? all sensitive and stupidly eager to please start to panic… “i- i’ll be good, i swear! i just had my period, that’s all.”
so he starts giving you “suggestions”. no more carbs after noon, buying you expensive celery and ginger juice cleanses, switching chocolates for protein bars in the pantry when you weren’t checking. strawberries and yogurt, no added sugars.
“baby, you should be thanking me. you’ll look so hot after this. like a perfect tiny doll.”
if you whine or pout?
he slowly cups your face, “don’t pout. I’m doing this because I love you, princess. don’t you wanna make me happy?”
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counterturn · 2 years ago
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Like a hot bloody mary. Sounds horrific, I love it.
They should make alcoholic soup. Could you imagine? Give it a little kick
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blood-smiles · 2 months ago
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I REALLY ADORE YOUR STORIES, IT UNIQUE AND FUN TO READD RAGGGRH delicious ♪⁠~⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠`⁠ ⁠), do you have any fun facts or side story about yuuto if you feel comfortable or have time to share? Love youu (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)
THANK YOUUUU AUUUUUUG!! My heart is like bursting, I am so happy when people send me asks like AAAA!! I haven’t talked about my sweet mamasito in like EVER. 
YANDERE! NURSE HCS AND INFO UNDER CUT!
💊English is not his first language, he dislikes spelling, he just isn’t very good at it, so therefore he will avoid trying to write much in English!
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💊He was actually the very first yandere oc I thought of making, I can’t actually remember his first design though!! This was my main idea board for him!
💊He is part of a family of 5 children, being the only boy in the family he has had to grown up only surrounded by women! All his sisters are girls!
💊His father passed away from unknown causes and his mother was left on her own with her children.
💊growing up around girls he has been exposed to more female knowledge than anyone, he knows an unnerving amount of things about menstrual cycles, it’s honestly a little bit too much.
💊Almost everyone in his family has some kind of career in nursing or medicine, 2 out of his 4 sisters are attending nursing school, the other two are in Japan taking care of his mother.
💊his mom approves of you.
💊Many of his more feminine qualities are because of his upbringing, many may criticize this but he really doesn’t have any fucks to give (TдT)
💊He has a lot of piercings, his mom did not approve nor did his sisters but he did that shit anyway, they don’t really care anymore but would rather have him take them out.
💊There are some that you can’t see unless you see him without clothes.. Ehem.
💊Has unbelievably pretty hands, if he was allowed to grow his nails longer they would be the envy of all tbh, has the perfect amount of veiny and bony to be just pretty.
💊Somehow has soft hands??? No skin care or anything, he works with bleach on the daily yet still has the most perfect skin you have EVER SEEN.
💊 The fact is really strange but he has no business being so damn tall??? Rumors say that his father was just slightly above average and the genes just blessed Yuuto in particular
💊Okay, it’s probably too late to say this but he has like a HUGE mommy kink, he may be more submissive but he will actually have a system reboot if he hears you gently calling him “mommy”.
💊Can hold his liquor extremely well, if you just keep drinking and drinking and getting drunk he is your guy to drive you back home. 
💊if he does somehow get drunk he is a cozy, silent type of drunk. The yap button gets turned off and he just kinda.. stares? And touches. A lot. He gets this cuteness aggression and just goes eerily silent while actually nuzzling you like a cat would, a very big cat.
💊Had a childhood plushie that was a pink bunny, he still has it and takes care of it like it’s actually a sacred item. The reason he cherishes it is because he somehow named it your name when he was a little kid, probably thinks it’s a god sent message. Puts it beside your little shrine.
💊Sleeps like a huge cat. A cat with a favorite toy. He hugs you in the most restricting way possible, like meaty thighs wrapped around your own legs and biceps locking your arms into place while he just snuggles into your hair.
💊If he was a fruit he would be a peach!
💊If he was any mythical creature I would say he is a kitsune or a drider. No questions asked. 
💊If you are a chronically ill person he immediately transforms into your own care taker and you won’t have to worry about medication or anything ever again.
💊Doesn’t matter if you are sick or not, he WILL make you drink disgusting smoothie blends, he claims it’s for your own good and will get mad and give you the silent treatment if you don’t drink the very last drop of celery and carrot juice. He will praise you and cradle you afterwards though.
💊If he was a Pokémon trainer he would have a blend of fairy types, psychic, poison and dark types. (You know well that his main Pokémon are a Sylveon and a sneasel.)
💊Is like *really* emotional towards you, like will cry if you scrape a knee and he wasn’t there to kiss your boo boo better.
💊Let me know if you want more!!!
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aesethewitch · 1 year ago
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Learning to Cook Like a Witch: Using the Scraps
Cooking can create a lot of waste. From peels and rinds to bones and leaves, people throw away quite a lot of scraps in the kitchen. And witches, as you may know, are experts in the art of the cunning use of whatever we’ve got around.
As a witch who spends a lot of time in the kitchen, I’ve had ample opportunities to get creative in my cooking craft. It helps that I grew up in a household defined by scarcity: not our own, by the time I was conscious enough to remember, but my parents’ poverty. It colored the way I learned to cook, using everything I possibly could, making enough to last, preserving what I didn’t immediately use, and creatively reusing leftovers and scraps.
There are some topics I won’t necessarily cover here. Composting is an option, but there are some bits of food scrap that don’t need to be composted — they can be saved and repurposed for all sorts of things, magic and mundane. Likewise, recycling, buying sustainably, and growing your own food when you can are all great options for reducing household waste in the kitchen.
For the purposes of this post, I want to focus specifically on food scraps. This is an organized list of kitchen scraps that I’ve used in a variety of other dishes and projects. I’m focusing primarily on food waste, not so much on packaging (such as reusing egg cartons, milk containers, boxes, and so forth).
Vegetable Scraps
Freeze leftover vegetable scraps to make stock. This is a fairly common bit of advice — save bits of leftover vegetables to make a vegetable stock or another kind of stock. It’s good advice! I keep a bag in my freezer that I put vegetable scraps in to save until I’m ready to make a new batch of stock. Not all veggies should be saved like this and used for stock! Some make stock bitter or otherwise unpleasant-tasting. Personally, I tend to freeze these for stock:
- The skins, ends, and leftover cuts of onions (just be wary of the skins; too much will make your broth bitter) - The ends of celery (not the leaves — they’re bitter!) - Corn cobs - Garlic skins, ends, tiny cloves that aren’t useful otherwise, and sprouted cloves - The ends of carrots (also not the leaves) - The ends of leeks - Pepper tops/bottoms (not the seeds)
I would recommend against putting things like potatoes, brussels sprouts, cabbage, and leafy greens in there. Potatoes don’t add flavor, sprouts and cabbage make the whole thing taste like those foods, and leafy greens end up bitter. If something has a strong, distinctive flavor (beets, sprouts), I wouldn’t add it to my freezer bag. These scraps often form the veggie portion of my Sick-Be-Gone Chicken Broth spell recipe!
Regrow leeks, green onions, and celery. Pop these in a bit of water and watch them grow back! It’s a fun experiment, and you’ll never have to buy them again.
Plant sprouted garlic. Aside from the fact that you can still cook and eat garlic that’s sprouted, you can plant a sprouted clove in a pot. Care for it well enough, and you’ll end up with a full head of garlic from that one clove!
Fry potato peels. Anytime I make mashed potatoes or peel potatoes for something, I always save the peels. Give them a thorough rinse and shallow-fry them in oil, turning them over until they’re golden and crispy. Toss them in a bit of salt and pepper while they’re still hot, and you’ve got tasty chips to snack on while you cook the rest of your meal! No need to cover them in more oil or anything — the heat will cause the salt to stick right to them.
Save leaves for pesto. Yum, yum, yum. Pesto isn’t just all about basil, you know. Save the leaves from carrots, beets, radishes, and even celery to grind up alongside basil, garlic, salt, and lemon juice for a delicious pesto recipe.
Fruit Scraps
Save citrus peels. Peels from oranges, lemons, grapefruits, and other citrus fruits have a multitude of uses. Candy them for a sweet treat, dry them to add to potpourri or incense, or save them to put into a simmer pot for bright, sunny energy.
Juice the whole fruit. Again, thinking mostly about citrus fruits, when you need the zest from something but not the rest, don’t just throw away the fruit. Squeeze out all the juice you can. Even if you don’t need it right now, you can freeze it to use later in simmer pots, fruity waters, or anything else that needs a touch of juice.
Turn extra fruit and berries into jam or syrup. If you’ve got berries and fruit that are about to go off, or maybe the ends of strawberries, don’t toss them! Look up recipes for jam of the specific fruit you’ve got or make an infused syrup. Syrups in particular can be used for cocktails, teas, and desserts for an extra magical kick.
Pickle watermelon rinds. That’s right. Pickle those suckers. They’re so tasty. I’ve seen people make kimchi with watermelon rinds, too, though I’ve never tried it myself!
Save seeds for abundance work. Seeds in general are great for spells geared toward long-term success, new beginnings, and — when there are a lot of them — wealth. Different fruit seeds have properties that tend to correspond with the fruit they come from, so consider their potential purposes before you just toss them! (Note also that some fruit seeds are toxic; these would be suitable for baneful workings.)
Keep cherry stems for love magic. Have you ever done that thing where you tie a cherry stem with your tongue? If I’m eating cherries, I like to save some of the stems for love workings. Tie them into little knots like you might with string while envisioning ensnaring the love you’re looking for. I wouldn’t do this with a particular person in mind; binding someone to you is almost never a good idea. I’ve used it to attract specific qualities in a person of romantic interest: attentiveness, humor, kindness, and so forth.
Use pits to represent blockages, barriers, and problems. I most often use them in baneful workings, typically jammed into a poppet’s mouth or throat to keep someone from talking shit. It could also represent a sense of dread in that way — a pit in the stomach, uneasy and nauseating. But you could also use them in the sense of removal, ritualistically removing the pit or problem from a given situation.
Herb Scraps
Freeze or dry extra fresh herbs. Different drying techniques are ideal for specific herbs. I’d suggest looking up recommended methods before sticking anything in the microwave. If you’d like to freeze your herbs instead, I typically will lay them on a damp paper towel, wrap them up, place them into a freezer-safe bag, and then put them in the freezer. Most herbs will keep for a couple months this way. When you want to use them, pull them out and let them defrost right on the counter.
Make pesto. Again, pesto isn’t just basil! Experiment with tossing in different scraps of herbs to find out what combination you like best.
Reuse steeped tea. Particularly when I use loose herbal tea, I like to lay out the used tea to dry out. It can be burned similarly to loose incense, though the scent may be somewhat weaker than with herbs that are fresher or unused. I find that it’s fine, since I’m sensitive to smells anyways.
Toss extra herbs into your stock freezer bag. Just like with vegetables, extra herbs make welcome additions to a scrap stock pot. I always make a point to save sage, thyme, marjoram, and ginger. You can add just about anything to a stock pot, but be aware of the flavors you’re adding. Not all herbs will match with all dishes.
Protein Scraps
Dry and crush empty egg shells. This is one most witches will know! I use crushed egg shells for protection magic most often: sprinkled at a doorstep mixed with other herbs, added to jars, and spread around spell candles.
Save shrimp, crab, and lobster shells. They’re a goldmine of flavor. Toss them into water with veggies and herbs, and you’ve got a delicious, easy shellfish stock. Use it to make fishy soups and chowders that much richer.
Don’t discard roasted chicken remains. Use them for stock, just like the shells. I like to get rotisserie chickens on occasion since they’re ready-made and very tasty. Once all the meat has been stripped off the bones, simmer the entire carcass with — you guessed it — veggies and herbs for a tasty chicken stock.
Reuse bacon grease for frying. After cooking bacon, don’t throw away the grease right away. Melt it over low heat, strain the bits of bacon out, and pour it into a jar to put in the fridge. You can use it to fry all sorts of things, but my favorite thing is brussels sprouts. They pick up the delicious, salty, bacony flavor from all that rendered bacon fat. So good.
Other Scraps
Use stale bread for croutons or bread crumbs. When I reach the stale end of a loaf of bread, as long as it isn’t moldy, I like to tear it into pieces and toss it into the oven for a little while. Let it cool and then pulse it in a food processor, and I’ve got delicious bread crumbs! Or, cut it a little more neatly, toss it in oil and seasonings, and then bake, and now I’ve got homemade croutons for salads. You can really hone your herbs for both of these, tuning them to be perfect for whatever spell needs you have.
Small amounts of leftover sugar. I don’t know why, but I always end up with a tiny amount of white and brown sugar in the containers. This can be used in teas, of course, but I like to offer it up to spirits. In particular, my ancestors tend to appreciate a spoonful of brown sugar stirred into a small, warmed cup of milk. You can also look up mug cake or single-serving cookie recipes; often, they’re cooked in the microwave, and they only need a little sugar to make!
Keep vanilla bean pods. Vanilla is fucking expensive. When I have a little extra and want to really splurge for a special occasion, I’ll get a couple pods. And because they’re so expensive, I hate wasting any part of them. They’re good for love magic, sure, but you can also toss the spent pods in a jar full of sugar to make vanilla-infused sugar. I’ll often use the pods to make infused milks, too; warm the milk over low heat, add the pods, and let it steep like tea. It goes great in teas and desserts. For a nice self-love spell, sometimes I’ll melt chocolate into the vanilla milk and make hot cocoa!
Save the rinds from Parmesan and Pecorino Romano cheese. You might not be able to just bite into these, but they’re fabulous additions to a stock pot. They add a rich, umami depth to the flavors. I also like to throw these into pots of tomato sauce to add even more flavor to the sauce.
Used coffee is still coffee. After I make a pot of coffee, I’ll sometimes save the grounds by letting them dry back out. I wouldn’t make another cup of coffee with them, since all the flavor’s gone, but they’ll still have attributes of energy generation and smell great. I like to pack used grounds into sachets to hang in places where I want to encourage more energy and focus, replaced every few days or so. Coffee grounds also have high amounts of nitrogen in them, which can help plants thrive; just be careful about pH values in the soil! You don’t want to hurt your plants with too much acidity.
Final Thoughts
I hope you found these tips helpful! There are a ton more ways to save and reuse kitchen scraps that would otherwise go to waste. Sometimes, tossing stuff into the compost or trash can’t be avoided. But I’ve found that being aware of the possibilities can help diminish the amount that gets wasted.
If you have questions or other suggestions for reusing kitchen scraps, feel free to drop them in my inbox, reblogs, or replies. And if you did enjoy this post, consider tossing a couple dollars in my tip jar! Supporters get early and sometimes exclusive access to my work, and monthly members get bonuses like commission discounts and extras. (:
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femmefatalevibe · 2 years ago
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Femme Fatale Guide: Healthy Habits To Look & Feel Your Best Without Restriction or Unrealistic Routines
Realistic ways to maintain a healthy life/body/appearance (size and weight are all personal, not the most important metric – for certain). No diet culture or delulu-land tips here.
What I've done to maintain my 30-pound weight loss for over a decade, glowing clear skin (no pimples or discoloration, etc.), and super healthy, full & shiny hair, still living life and enjoying it – the mindful way.
Eat home-cooked meals & (plant-based) whole foods – 90-95% of the time
Incorporate at least 1 salad into my daily routine (either a large, hearty lunch salad or a simple green salad as a starter with dinner)
Include at least 1 fruit/vegetable in every meal or snack
Never restrict food groups – whole grains/potatoes, healthy fats, protein-rich plant foods, and produce are all essential to consume every day
Focus on meals, but have whole food snack options on hand to enjoy if genuinely hungry (mainly fruit, lupini beans, edamame, carrots/celery/cucumber with hummus, plain popcorn, handful of almonds/cashews)
Have breakfast after one coffee (before a second) and have dinner late enough (8-9:30 pm) to curb late-night hunger
Only have fruit and tea after dinner; Always stop consuming food at least 3 hours before bed for better sleep/digestion
Order whatever I want when going out to eat, but split dessert
Have at least one indulgent meal/dessert per week
No sugary cocktails – wine, champagne/prosecco, martinis, gin & tonic, margarita, French Connection, Sambuca, Grappa, tequila on the rocks, etc. are great options. Bellinis/fruit plus wine/spirits cocktails are a good middle ground. Sugary drinks worsen the hangover – big-time
Perceive healthy eating as a form of enjoyment, creativity, and nourishment, not restriction or deprivation (it's not if done liberally enough)
Consume a vitamin B12 and vitamin D supplement daily. Keep digestive enzymes on hand for when they're necessary
Always have a large glass of water first thing in the morning (before coffee) and by my side all day long
No soda, juices, sugary drinks, etc. Black coffee, tea, and water only on the daily – wine and no-sugar alcoholic drinks on rare occasions. Smoothies can be a great snack or breakfast, though!
Incorporate an (almost) daily walk into my schedule as a form of exercise and a mental health reset (I aim for 4-5 miles/10Kish steps per day on average)
Do short, low-impact strengthen training exercises 3x a week (15-30 mins each usually) for bone health & toning
Never forcing myself to do strenuous exercise/workout formally in a gym – it's not for me; it doesn't make me feel/look better and throws my hunger & energy levels way off. To each their own, though
Have a variety of playlists ready to go for waking up, working, dancing, walking/workouts, doing chores, and reading/relaxing
Internalizing that sexual health is a core aspect of your health & well-being – on all counts
Maintaining a simple skincare routine 2x per week with high-quality products and a couple of weekly treatments
Prioritizing my body care routine with as much as my facial skincare routine
Wearing at least SPF 30 daily
Exfoliating 2-3x per week
Learning what hair products work for my hair type; Using a deep conditioning mask and a scalp mask weekly
Using only cold water when washing my hair
Incorporating face & body massages into my weekly at-home routine
Using Uriage lip balm, hand cream, and deodorant religiously
Flossing 1-2 times a day/using an electric toothbrush
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who-do-i-know-this-man · 6 months ago
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In the spirit of giving I have decided to share with you all my secret clam chowder recipe. It's quite good, and I hope some of you try it and tell me what you think of it.
Required equipment:
A large pot (at least 6 1/2 quarts)
A heavy bottomed sauce pan (at least 6 cups)
Long flat stirring tool
Ingredients:
5-8 potatoes (~2 pounds)
5 stalks celery (~0.5 pounds)
5 cloves garlic
1 whole onion
1 lb bacon
~40oz/1100grams canned clams
3 1/2 cups water
1/4 cup chicken bullion
3/4 cup flour
1 1/2 sticks butter
4 cups half and half
Ground black pepper
Step 1: Chop the potatoes and celery into bite sized pieces and put them in a large bowl for later. Skin and dice garlic and onion, that goes in a separate small bowl. Finally chop the bacon and put it directly into your pot.
Step 2: Cook bacon at 270 F (medium) in the pot until crispy. While this is happening, start straining the clams into a container. You will need both the clams and the juice.
Step 3: Remove bacon (set aside for later) and pour out most of the grease (not into the sink if you don't know that already) dump in garlic and onions, cook at 210 (medium-medium-low) until onions are semi-translucent.
Step 4: Add veggies, clam juice, water, and bullion to the pot. Turn to 425 (high) and wait for it to come to a boil while stirring every so often. Once at a boil, turn to 350 (medium-medium-high) until the veggies are tender and no longer crunchy (test with a fork). Then cut the heat and set the main pot aside.
Step 5: In the saucepan add butter and melt completely at 200 F. Then add flour and mix and melt until there are no clumps. Finally add half and half and turn to 250 and mix often until it's homogeneous and about the consistency of melted cheese. The end result is a roux if you want to look up what it's supposed to look like.
Step 6: Dump roux into main pot and mix at 250 about a minute until it's fully incorporated. Add clams and heat for another 5 minutes. Finally add the bacon and generously add pepper to taste.
I personally just eat a bowl or two of this stuff on it's own but if you wish I'm sure it would pair well with some crackers, perhaps some sort of bread.
The chowder can just be kept in the fridge and leftovers can be reheated easily in the microwave.
Important safety addendum: Do not make this if you are allergic to any of the ingredients. Also do not add corn to this dish because that will mark your sould for eternal damnation in the afterlife.
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stevishabitat · 1 month ago
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Three Sisters Stew: A Native American Recipe Full of Tradition
Davin Eberhardt
Three Sisters Stew is a traditional Native American dish that combines the sacred trio of beans, squash, and corn. These crops, known as the “Three Sisters,” have been grown and eaten together by many Native American tribes for centuries.
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The Three Sisters: Beans, Squash & Corn
In Native American agriculture, the Three Sisters were typically planted together in a symbiotic relationship. (ref) The corn stalks provided a structure for the beans to climb, the beans fixed nitrogen in the soil to nourish the other plants, and the squash vines acted as a living mulch to retain moisture and suppress weeds.
This ancient practice not only yielded bountiful harvests but also created a balanced, nutritious diet.
Preparation Tips
To save time, soak the beans overnight or use canned beans (drained and rinsed) instead. Chop the vegetables in advance and store them in the refrigerator to streamline the cooking process. Use a slow cooker: After sautéing the onion and garlic, transfer all ingredients to a slow cooker and cook on low for 6-8 hours or on high for 3-4 hours. Make a double batch and freeze the leftovers for easy meals later.
Dietary ModificationsVegan/Vegetarian: Use vegetable broth and omit any meat or dairy toppings. Gluten-Free: This stew is naturally gluten-free, just be sure to check the labels of your broth and canned goods. Low-Sodium: Use low-sodium broth and canned tomatoes, and reduce or omit added salt. Paleo: Omit the beans and corn, and increase the amount of squash and any additional vegetables.
Serving Suggestions
Serve with warm cornbread, tortillas, or crusty bread for dipping. Top with shredded cheese, sour cream, avocado slices, or additional fresh cilantro. Pair with a simple green salad for a complete meal.
Ingredients:2 cups dried pinto beans (or substitute black beans, kidney beans, or your favorite variety), soaked overnight 1 medium winter squash, such as butternut or acorn (or substitute summer squash or pumpkin), peeled and cubed 4 ears of corn, kernels removed (about 2 cups) (or substitute frozen or canned corn) 1 large onion, diced 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes (or substitute fresh tomatoes when in season) 4 cups vegetable or chicken broth (use vegetable broth for a vegan version) 2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp dried oregano 1/2 tsp smoked paprika 1 bay leaf Salt and pepper to taste Fresh cilantro for garnish
Optional add-ins:Diced carrots or celery for extra vegetables Chopped kale or spinach for added greens A splash of lime juice for brightness A pinch of cayenne pepper for heat
Step-by-Step Instructions:Soak the pinto beans in water overnight. Drain and rinse. In a large pot, sauté the onion and garlic in a bit of oil until softened. Add the soaked beans, squash cubes, corn kernels, diced tomatoes, broth, cumin, oregano, paprika, bay leaf, salt, and pepper. Stir to combine. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Cover and cook until the beans and squash are tender, about 1 hour, or use a slow cooker. Remove the bay leaf. Taste and adjust seasonings if needed. The stew should be thick, but add a bit more broth if too thick. Serve hot, garnished with fresh cilantro. Enjoy with your favorite toppings and sides.
thenatureofhome.com
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daphnedauphinoise · 4 months ago
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hi daphne! if you have a minute, what are the three juices you’ve been drinking? what’s been the benefits? I’m looking for homemade juices that would help with body glow so i’m extremely curious! thank you!
Sorry this took so long and aplogies to others who asked but I had to wait sooo long for her to reply. But this is it copied and pasted from her texts:
Purple Juice: beets, dates, cherry juice, promogranate juice and anything red/ purple (not very helpful (Daphne's side note - red cabbage would be really good for you in this))
Green Juice: everything that is green (again not helpful lol) , celery, cucumber, pears, green apples, spinach, matcha, kale and moringa.
Golden Juice: ginger, orange (whole with peels), lemon, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, turmuric, black pepper use very little water when making so can be stored for a long time. You can add carrots to make this into a juice.
Side note: She makes them reallly concentrated ( so without water) so it can be stored for a little longer. I dilute the purple juice in cranberry juice.
Glow on my babies.
Daphne x
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eat-healthyisgood · 1 month ago
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A few good meals I’ve recently enjoyed!
(1) Grilled marinated chicken with 1/2 sweet potato, hard boiled egg, tomato, cucumber and 1/2 avocado over iceberg lettuce with hemp hearts.
(2) Tuna salad made with avocado oil mayo, celery and red onion, lemony chickpeas, hard boiled egg, cucumber, pepperoncini, olives and half an avocado topped with hemp hearts over romaine lettuce.
(3) Shredded rotisserie chicken, crispy chickpeas, hard boiled egg, tomato, cucumber, avocado, olives over spinach with extra virgin olive oil, lemon juice, seasoned salt.
(4) Miso glazed cod fish, Japanese sweet potato, broccoli sautéed in garlic and olive oil.
(5) Grilled lemon chicken, Greek chickpea salad, quinoa.
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lotstradamus · 1 year ago
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do you have some favourite go-to recipes? i would love any of your recommendations!! xx
we eat the same few things on rotation in our house, as I do all the cooking, and I like a) one-pot meals, and b) pasta, preferably. most of these are fairly low effort but you get a lot of bang for your buck flavour-wise, and they're endlessly customisable!
also, listen, I don't do measurements. follow your heart and taste as you go.
the tiktok viral baked feta pasta from like 4 years ago ingredients: plum or cherry tomatoes, a block of feta (or boursin if you're feeling flush), garlic, pasta optional extras: spinach, cannellini beans, chili crisp recipe: whack your tomatoes, sliced garlic, and olive oil in a big dish. nestle your feta in there. I like to add a tin of drained cannellini beans at this point to bulk it out/cut down on the pasta/make the texture confusing, but you don't have to. stick it in the oven at like 180-200C for half an hour ish. after half an hour boil your pasta. retrieve your oven dish, stir everything up to desired consistency (I'm a chunk girl). you can add spinach while you do this for extra greenery, or a massive spoonful of chili crisp for heat and crunch, but it's good on its own. add the pasta and some pasta water if you need. voila. you simply cannot go wrong.
gochujang and hummus pasta ingredients: gochujang (this keeps forever in the fridge so it's a good kitchen investment), a tub of hummus, garlic, white onion, parm optional extras: parsley recipe: chop onion and garlic, sling them in a pan with butter and a splash of EVOO. when the onion is sufficiently sweaty and nice, add a dollop of gochujang (the bigger the dollop the spicier the end result) and stir it all in, followed by the whole tub of hummus. boil the pasta. add the cooked pasta to the pan, along with some pasta water, a shit load of grated parm, and garnish with parsley. my friend sent me a vegan version of this recipe about a year ago and I've made the non-vegan version roughly once a week since. it is so fucking delicious. butter bean thing ingredients: butter beans, garlic, red onion, tomato paste, cream/double cream/greek yog, lemon, sourdough/nice crusty bread optional extras: parsley recipe: throw chopped garlic and onion in a pan with butter and EVOO and really let them sweat it out. add tinned butter beans WITH THE JUICE. yes, I know. add in a few good squirty piles of tomato paste and stir, then let it all heat through. at this point start toasting your crusty bread of choice because I ALWAYS forget until the end and then I'm rushed. I recommend splurging for the good bread, slathered with melty butter. add whatever creamy thing you have to hand (the og recipe I saw said double cream, but I usually have greek yoghurt in and that does the job) to the beans, along with some lemon juice, garnish with parsley if you like and serve. use the bread as a giant spoon. you are welcome.
sausage soup/stew? casserole?? ingredients: celery, white onion, carrot, sausage/s, cherry tomatoes, tinned tomatoes, chicken broth, parm optional extras: creamy thing of your choice, spinach, orzo recipe: dice the celery, carrot and onion (mirepoix!), and throw it in a big big big pot with some EVOO. now: I get a pack of nice sausages and either mash or chop them depending on how much energy I have, but if you live somewhere with a butcher or whatever you can save your mashing arm and just get ground sausage. throw in the ground, mashed, or chopped sausage and cook for a bit. follow with a tin of chopped tomatoes and chicken broth. I usually put in about a litre. chop the cherry toms and toss them in. follow with a load of grated parm. if you have any parm rinds, throw em in and leave it to bubble away. this doesn't sound like much but it is so good. the longer you leave it the more flavourful it will be! towards the end I like to add in whatever creamy thing is in the fridge (double cream, greek yog, milk), along with lots of chopped spinach and a cup of orzo to really bulk it up. we can happily live on this for DAYS, especially if we have leftover fancy crusty bread from the gochujang pasta. oh and remember to take out the parm rind.
thai chicken curryish ingredients: chicken (thigh/breast), garlic, ginger, yellow peppers, spring onion, cashew nuts, rice, coconut milk, chicken broth optional extras: sriracha, coriander recipe: I love this one cos it is SO quick and SOOOO easy. cut chicken into chunks and brown it in the pot. whip it back out and throw in the chopped garlic and ginger (I have a tube of ginger paste in the fridge cos WHO has the time?) with a big glug of EVOO, then a cup of rice. jasmine works, but I've also used risotto rice. toss in the chopped peppers, spring onion and cashew nuts (if I have the energy I'll chop the nuts, but you can put em in as-is), then add coconut milk (a tin's amount, be that an actual tin or some of the melted stuff that costs 1/4 of the price - thanks Asian supermarket!) and chicken broth. put the browned chicken back in, give it all a stir, cover it, and stick it in the oven for like 25ish mins. here’s the NYT recipe if you need liquid measurements/an actionable recipe that isn’t me riffing. (as always, 12ft.io/ in front of the address to bypass the paywall.) serve it with sriracha squirted all over it (HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and coriander if you like it.
delicious little rice waffle ingredients: leftover jasmine rice, chili crisp, an egg, kewpie mayonnaise, sesame oil, spring onion, A WAFFLE MAKER optional extras: furikake recipe: full disclosure, you need a little waffle maker for this. mix the rice with chili crisp, a little sesame oil, and egg yolk. dollop it into the waffle maker and cook. garnish with kewpie mayo, sliced spring onion and some furikake if you have it, or just toasted sesame seeds if you have those, or neither! delicious little spicy umami snack, my beloved.
tuna melt of dreams ingredients: you know what's in a tuna melt recipe: swap the butter on the outside of the bread for kewpie mayonnaise and thank me later.
ADDENDUM: this goes without saying for me but sadly I know it does not for everybody: SEASON YOUR FOOD WITH SALT. IT WON'T MAKE YOUR FOOD SALTY IT WILL MAKE IT DELICIOUS. COOK YOUR PASTA IN SALT. WHEN IN DOUBT, ADD SOME SALT. THANK YOU.
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yoonargi · 6 days ago
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You're a fucking moron. Like you're actually dumb as fucking rocks, holy shit.
love how you didn’t refute any of my points and came straight to the inbox to complain
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And you're a sped with the room temperature IQ of a bottle of orange juice, and the backbone of a celery stick but what's new with you cracked-out racist whores? Go apply for a job, dumb bitch, you clearly aren’t good at retaining information so go ahead and apply for that 9-5 😢🥰🥰🥰
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